How to Magically Break...

(AWKWARD SILENCE)...
...and Never Run Out of Things to Say?
By: a!riel "ngelo
htt#:$$www.socialnatural.co%
&eel free to #ass this along to any!ody who will and %ight !enefit fro%
this.
Be sure to visit htt#:$$www.socialnatural.co% for %ore great ti#s and
advices on the art social skills dyna%ics %astery.
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
( want to talk a!out a conce#t ( coin as )obviousation).
*on+t worry it+s not so%e la%e old, i%#ractical ideas that -ust sound
totally cool, !ut you can+t do anything with it. (t+s e.tre%ely #owerful and
one of the %ost effective things you can know when social interacting,
talking, conversing with wo%en, and !asically, with any!ody.
/hat is )o!viousation0?
O!viousation is real talk1having real talk, talking a!out real
conversational su!-ect2%atters, with no hold!acks and !eing -ust real as
#ossi!le.
(I know, I know Im sounding pretty ganstaaa now, but obviousation is as real as
you can get.)
O!viousation is the )power of being obvious.0 3ou obvilize (stating the
obvious) everything you say.
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How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
(ote to all the sensitive linguistic!"unkies out there, who are complaining
obviousation and obvilize are not real words#well, they are now :5)
O!vili6ing is a very #owerful and effective yet si%#le trick ( discovered
and e.#eri%ented a lot out in social gatherings to kee# social interaction
and ver!al conversation going, !reak awkward silences, and !uild %agical
ra##ort for instant connection.
There are %any #ractical a##lications you can use with this #owerful
conce#t of o!viousation, !ut for now1( will show you how to a##ly it to
getting rid of awkward silences in conversation when you+re talking to
wo%en, and your !rain goes !lank, losing your train of thought and can+t
think of anything to say, and !ehold, the devastating awkward silence
cree#s u#, and you hear crickets in the !ackground.
Saying-the-Obvious-to-Neutralize-the-Awkwardness
Here is a techni7ue ( called SONA 8 )Saying2the2O!vious2to2Neutrali6e2
the2Awkwardness0.
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How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
:sing the )#ower of !eing o!vious,0 you can use the SON" to easily !reak
the awkward silence and have a fast2crash course that cuts through all the
social ruts, clutters, and !arriers wo%en #ut u# u#on %eeting so%eone to
instantly !uild ra#id ra##ort to get to a dee# connection.
The trick is when you run out of things to say and are in a conversation of
awkward silence with wo%en, si%#ly ad%it the o!vious truth that you
guys !oth are NOT great conversationalists . This way you will never !e at
a lack of words to say in conversation.
&or so%e irrational reasons, this %agically !reaks the tension and can even
cause a laugh, the laugh of recognition, and you guys can !oth #roceed the
conversation naturally fro% here, with %uch %ore ease than !efore.
The !est way to descri!e this social #heno%enon is like you are hanging
out with your friends you have known for a long ti%e, and you guys are
not e%!arrassed to ad%it the e%!arrassing o!vious truth to each other;
and in this case of talking to wo%en, !y saying I guess we are not really
great conversationalists. to a wo%an, it cata#ults you guys to that sa%e
level of connection like you < have already known each other for that long
ti%e and with a stronger feeling of fa%iliarity.
=ver notice why co%edians are good at what they do and are funny? They
are !allsy enough to state the o!vious that no!ody else is willing to ad%it,
!ut hey they are co%edians and do it in a -oking way, that+s how they can
get away with it.
Hu%or, like they say, is ad%itting the truth. There is a lot of truth in
hu%or, like a dark2s#ace of life and dark2side of the truth that no!ody
dares dwell into, !ut it+s so o!vious and true, and when it+s %entioned,
gets a good laugh.
>
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
These are kinds of stuffs you only say when you are not e%!arrassed
around your friends !ecause you guys have known each other for a while,
and not worried a!out how you guys will co%e off and !e -udged or feel
a!out each other !ecause you guys are friends.
(t+s like !ur#ing and farting (pardon me for being real) in front of your closet
friends and you+re not concerned or !othered of the% -udging you,
although they %ight co%#lain or %ock or -oke on you a little !it, !ut
they+re usually cool with it (#right$) :5
Therefore, when an awkward silence does co%e u#, SON" to !reak the
awkward silence.
"n e.a%#le of you+re talking to a girl, and the awkward silence co%es u#:
You: )O?, sooo10
Girl: )1..0
You: )1..0
(awkwardly long silence)
You: )1so ( guess we+re not really great conversationalists? 3ou
@
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
know1why is that? "re you shy? "re we not co%#ati!le? Or...are we
really infatuated and nervous around each other that we can think
straight?0 (with a smile) :5
Girl: )1( don+t know1( guess?0
(%ere is where you can go into a conversation about Conversation or go into a
coldreadin!.)
You: )1you know how the funny thing is when < #eo#le %eet, they
usually talk a!out the sa%e old things when they %eet other #eo#le,
instead of going right down into the dee# stuffs. ( %ean co%e on, what do
#eo#le usually talk a!out when they talk to you? (in a humorous way,
almost kind like youre mocking the &verage 'oe) /hat+s your na%e? How are
you? /here are you fro%? Blah, !lah, !lah1( %ean where+s the good
stuff?0
((he girl will laugh and acknowledge that obvious truth, and now you are right
back on track, and you can go into some sort of coldreadin!.)
You: )3ou know when < #eo#le are talking, and they run out of things to
say, and there is this awkward silence, they will usually think they+re the
!ad conversationalist, !ut in fact, what they don+t reali6e is that the other
#erson is thinking the sa%e way too.0
&or so%e %agical reason, doing this -ust !reaks through that !arrier, that
you < can -ust feel like you can talk a!out anything and say anything.
"lso you are !eing the %an here who is easing the sa%e tension and
awkwardness she feels fro% not having anything to say, or she will
eventually do it for you1!y I gotta find my friend.
A
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
"fter you have the conversation a!out )conversations0, and if there is
another awkward silence, SON" again.
)o what can we talk about now$ I think this time, youre the bad
conversationalist. :5
Blay and have fun with the awkward silences.
Here+s another e.a%#le of a girl ( %et once, and a conversation a!out the
weather ca%e u#:
(I know not the type of recommended topics when you talking to a girl you "ust
met.)
e: )(s it hot in Cali?0
Girl: )3es, it+s really hot in California.0
e: (interrupting her) )1.you know1why are !" talking a!out the
weather1the %ost !oring and la%est to#ic only golfers talk a!out to their
!uddies on the golf field? /hat are we1#laying golf right now?0 ()tating
D
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
the obvious for the both of us and smile, like we should be embarrassed. &nother
thing is this demonstrates confident of not being afraid of hiding the mistake.)
Girl: )1yeah, why "R= /= talking a!out the weather?0 ()he giggles.)
e: )Eet+s talk a!out so%ething else.0
Girl: )3eah, ok.0
You: )So what can we talk a!out?0
Girl: )( don+t know.0
e: )(+% having a really hard ti%e thinking of so%ething to talk a!out.
Hel# %e it+s your faultF0
Girl: )How is it %y fault?0
e: )Because you weren+t !eing a great conversationalist, and when we
were talking a!out the weather, you couldn+t %ake %e change that !oring
su!-ect.0
Girl: (laughs)
Notice how this is #retty %uch talk a!out nothing !ut fluff. This is the
kind of things you only do with #eo#le you know for a long ti%e when
you guys are rela.ed and at eased in each others+ #resence, where you are
not afraid to !e e%!arrassed, contrasted to when you first %eet so%e!ody.
Now think a!out why when you !ust a girl+s !all, literally s#eaking, can
generate attraction?
Notice how this cuts right through the cra# and socially2correct, #olite
conversation and into the real !onding vi!e2talk, fro% where connection
can !e !uilt.
G
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
The #ower o$ Obviousation
"lso another note, when you+re doing this, you always want to create a
sense of !" that you guys are !oth an insider against any
e%!arrass%ent and hu%iliation; in this case, the awkward silence.
"%a&'le(
You: )This is really weird isn+t it?0
Girl: )/hat?0
You: )/e don+t know how to kee# a conversation going?0
"lso notice %y #revious e.a%#le a!ove regarding the weather:
e: (interrupting her) )1.you know1why are !" talking a!out the
weather1the %ost !oring and la%est to#ic only golfers talk a!out to their
!uddies on the golf field? /hat are we1#laying golf right now?0
Basically it+s the !" that you state that !uilds the ra##ort, !ut in this
one e.a%#le, (his is really weird isnt it$, instead of !eing e.#licitly
stated, the !" e.#ression was i%#lied when you asked that rhetorical
7uestion. This i%#lication assu%es that you2< are !oth in your own little
HI
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
se#arate world together, o!livious to everything else in your outside
surrounding.
Having -ust the YO) is kind of like an insult ((his is really weird because
you have bad conversational skills), and having -ust the * i%#lies you+re
inco%#etent ((his is really weird because I have bad conversational skill), !ut
with e.#ressing the !", you guys !oth are in the sa%e !oat and have
co%%onality ((his is really weird because we both have bad conversational
skills#but who cares$).
The thing a!out this is after stating the o!vious, instead of trying to
#retend and hide it and #utting %ore #ressure on the girl during any
awkward %o%ent, you guys are in this together, having that co%%onality
of !oth feeling that e%!arrass%ent together, without worrying a!out
!eing -udged.
This way your vi!e is in sync with the girl as one, and you guys can cut
through a lot of cra# !y letting go of that social #ersona, and her defense
HH
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
will shar#ly go down, and then you guys can get straight right into the
core of !uilding a ra##ort getting that dee# connection 7uickly.
Re%e%!er, never !e e%!arrassed !y the awkward silence and any
e%!arrassing social situation %o%ent. Try to kee# this as !" and )S
situations that you guys are !oth in the sa%e shoe, and that you+re O?
with it.
Now you know what to do when you and a girl are running out of things
to say and hit a dead !rick2wall of conversational awkward silence, SON"
it !y ad%itting the o!vious awkward truth and !ring that o!vious to#ic of
you guys both not having anything to say and being bad conversationalists to
the surface, and it will ease the tension and generate a laughter !ecause it+s
so o!vious.
(he truth will set you free.
Otherwise, she is going to get !ored and look away, or you will start to get
nervous and start fidgeting with your watch, hand or whatever1or worse,
she gets weirded out and e%!arrassed herself !y the awkwardness, and
walks away fro% you. Moral is1!e the %an, and !reak the awkward
silence and ease any awkward tension for her as well as for yourself, or she
will do it for you1!y walking away.
By stating the o!vious, you never run out of things to say. That+s the
#ower of o!viousation, %y friend.
H<
How to Magically Break "wkward Silence? ' Social Natural
Ho#e you have en-oyed this. Re%e%!er #lease feel free to #ass this along
to any!ody you like.
a!riel
htt#:$$www.socialnatural.co%
B.S. (f you ever have any 7uestion, send the% to %e at
askga!rielJsocialnatural.co%. (Kll !e sure to read the%.