1

A Very Potter Musical

Act 1 Part 1
(Curtain opens; Harry is sitting on a trunk at center stage.)
HARRY: Underneath these stairs
I hear the sneers and feel glares of
my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.
Can't believe how cruel they are
and it stings my lighting scar
to know that they'll never ever give me what I want.
I know I don't deserve these
stupid rules made by the Dursleys
here on Privet drive.
Can't take all of these muggles,
but despite all of my struggles,
I'm still alive.
Im sick of summer and this waiting around.
!an, its "eptember, and I'm skipping this town
#ey Its no mystery, there's nothing here for me now
I gotta get back to #ogwarts,
I gotta get back to school.
$otta get myself to #ogwarts,
where everybody knows I'm cool.
%ack to wi&ards and witches, and magical beasts,
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts.
Its all that I love, and it's all that I need.
#'$()*+", #'$()*+", I think I'm going back,,,
I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry
take my -irebolt, gonna take to the sky
.' ()/ this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome
I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand
defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on0
)nd do it all with my best friend *on, 'cu& together we're totally awesome
(RON enters)
*'.1 /eah, and it's gonna be totally awesome0
RON: i! so"e#o!y say Ron $easley% (&reets Harry) 'orry it took "e so long to get (ere ) (a! to get
so"e *loo po+!er. Co"e on +e gotta get going, get your trunk let-s go.
HARRY: $(ere are +e going%
RON: /o iagon Alley o* course.
HARRY: Cool.
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2
RON: Co"e on.
RON an! HARRY: 0loo po+!er po+er. 0loo po+!er po+er. 0loo po+!er po+er. 0loo po+!er po+er.
*'.1 It's been so long, but we're going back
don't go for work, don't go there for class
#)**/1 )s long as were together,,
*'.1 ,, $onna kick some ass
#)**/ and *'.1 ... and its gonna be totally awesome0
+his year we'll take everybody by storm,
stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm
#2*!I'.21 but let's not forget that we need to perform well in class
if we want to pass our '(3"0
RON: Her"ione +(y !o you (a1e to #e suc( a #u22 kill%.
H3RM)ON3: 4ecause guys, sc(ool-s not all a#out (a1ing *un, +e nee! to stu!y (ar! i* +e +ant to #e
goo! +itc(es an! +i2ar!s.
#2*!I'.21 I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart
check out my grades, they're 4)'s4 for a start
what I lack in looks well I make up in heart,
and well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome
this year I plan to study a lot...
*'.1 +hat would be cool if you were actually hot
#)**/1 #ey *on, come on, we're the only friends that she's got0
*'.1 )nd that's cool...
#2*!I'.21 ... )nd that's totally awesome
#)**/, *'., #2*!I'.21 /eah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome0
(e're sick of summer and this waiting around
it's like we're sitting in the lost and found
don't take no sorcery
for anyone to see how...
(e gotta get back to #ogwarts
we gotta get back to school
we gotta get back to #ogwarts
where everything is magic,cooooool
252*/'.21 %ack to wi&ards and witches, and magical beasts
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts
it's all that I love, and it's all that I need at
#'$()*+", #'$()*+"
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3
#)**/, *'., #2*!I'.21 ,,, I think we're going back...
Act 1 Part 2
(&inny enters)
HARRY: $(o-s t(is%
RON: /(is is "y stupi! little !u"# sister, &inny, s(e-s a *res("en. &inny t(is is Harry Potter.
(&inny an! Harry s(ake (an!s)
&)NNY: You5re Harry Potter; you-re t(e #oy +(o li1e!.
HARRY: Yea( an! you-re &inny.
&)NNY: )t-s &ine#ra.
HARRY: Cool, &inny-s *ine.
RON: 'tupi! sister. (Claps in ear) on-t cro+! t(e *a"ous *rien!.
(Oriental "usic plays)
H3RM)ON3: o you guys (ear "usic or so"et(ing%
HARRY: Music, +(at are you talking a#out%
RON: Yea( so"eone-s co"ing. $(oa.
(C(o C(ang posy enters, in a line, 6a1en!er 4ro+n in *ront, C(o C(ang in #ack)
&)NNY: $(o-s t(at%
HARRY: /(at5s C(o C(ang.
RON: /(at5s t(e girl Harry-s totally #een in lo1e +it( since *res("en year.
H3RM)ON3: Yea( #ut (e +on-t say anyt(ing to (er.
RON: You ne1er tell a girl you like (er, it "akes you look like an i!iot.
(&inny +alks to la1en!er #ro+n an! taps on s(oul!er)
&)NNY: 7onnic(i+a C(o C(ang, it is goo! to "eet you, ) a" &inny $easley.
6AV3N3R: 4it c(, ) ain-t C(o C(ang.
RON: /(at5s 6a1en!er #ro+n. (Claps) Racist sister.
C(o: )t-s alrig(t (to au!ience) )5" C(o C(ang ya-ll.
HARRY: '(e is totally per*ect.
RON: Yea( too #a! s(e-s !ating Ce!ric igory (u(%
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4
HARRY: $(at% $(o t(e (ell is Ce!ric igory%
(Ce!ric enters, pus(es (arry an! Ron asi!e)
C3R)C: 'h, Cho Chang
I am so in love with Cho Chang
from %angkok to Ding Dang
I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang
(C(o-s posy an! Ce!ric e8it rig(t)
HARRY: ) (ate t(at guy.
('tarts to e8it le*t; Mal*oy enters rig(t an! crosses to center)
MA60OY: i! so"eone say raco Mal*oy%
HARRY: $(at !o you +ant raco%
MA60OY: 'o Potter, (circles group) #ack *or anot(er year at Hog+arts are you% May#e t(is year you-ll
+ise up an! (angout +it( a (ig(er cali#er o* +i2ar!s.
HARRY: Ron an! Her"ione are "y #est *rien!s in t(e +(ole +orl!. (&)NNY tries to 9oin, Ron s(o1es
(er a+ay) An! ) +oul!n5t tra!e t(e" *or anyt(ing.
MA60OY: Ha1e it your +ay.... $A)/. on-t tell "e, Re! (air, (an! "e !o+n clot(es, an! a stupi!
co"ple8ion, you "ust #e a $easley.
RON: 6ay o** Mal*oy. '(e "ay #e a pain in t(e ass, #ut s(e-s "y pain in t(e ass.
MA60OY: $ell isn-t t(is cute, it-s like a little loser *a"ily. (Harry-s group e8its) Hog+arts (as really
gone to t(e !ogs. (/o au!ience) luckily ne8t year )-ll #e trans*erre! to Pig*arts.
!)3-'/1 +his year you bet Im gonna get outta here
the reign of !alfoy is drawing near
Ill have the greatest wi&ard career, 6Crabbe and $oyle enter, 7oin !alfoy8
and its gonna be totally awesome0
3ook out world, for the dawn of the day
when everyone will do whatever I say
and that Potter wont be in my way, and then
Ill be the one who is totally awesome0
$'/321 /eah youll be the one who is totally awesome.
(All enter)
H3RM)ON3: Co"e on guys. $ere gonna "iss t(e train.
)331 (ho knows how fast this years gonna go9
#and me a glass, let the butter beer flow
#)**/1 !aybe at last, Ill talk to Cho,
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5
*'.1 'h no, that be ()/ too awesome
)331 (ere back to learn everything that we can
Its great to come back to where we began
)nd here we are, and alaka&am0 #ere we go, this is totally awesome0
Come on and teach us everything you know
+he summers over and were itchin to go
.25I3321 I think were ready for
)lbus Dumbledore0
)331 )hhhhhh.
)3%U"1 (elcome, all of you to #ogwarts
I (elcome you all to school
Did you know that here at #ogwarts
(eve got a hidden swimming pool9
(elcome, welcome, welcome #ogwarts
(elcome, hotties, nerds, and tools
.ow that I've got you here at #ogwarts
)-! like to go o1er 9ust a couple o* rules:
A64:': My na"e is Al#us u"#le!ore, an! ) a" Hea!"aster o* Hog+arts. You can all call "e,
u"#le!ore. ) suppose you coul! also call "e Al#us i* you +ante! !etention. )-" 9ust ki!!ing )-ll e8pel
you i* you call "e Al#us.
)331 %ack to witches and wi&ards, and magical beasts
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts
it's all that I love, and all that I need.
at #'$()*+", #'$()*+",
%ack to spells and enchantments, potions and friends
+o $ryffindors0
#ufflepuffs0
*avenclaws0
"lytherins0
%ack to the place where our story begins
Its #ogwarts, #ogwarts,
)3%U"1 Im sorry, whats its name9
)331 #ogwarts, #ogwarts
DU!%32D'*21 I didnt hear you kids0
)331 #ogwarts, #ogwarts
#)**/1 !an, Im glad Im back.
(all stu!ents sit on #enc(es an! u"#le!ore "o1es center)
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6
Act 1 Part 3
A64:': $elco"e to anot(er "agical year at Hog+arts, an! a 1ery special +elco"e to "y *a1orite
stu!ent, Harry Potter. (Ron c(eers o#no8iously). He kille! Vol!e"ort +(en (e +as 9ust a #a#y. An!
anot(er 1ery special +elco"e to our ne+est "e"#er to &ry**in!or, Ms. &)NNY $easley.
&)NNY: Aren-t +e suppose! to #e sorte! #y t(e sorting (at%
A64:': 4asically )-1e #een putting anyone +(o looks like a goo! guy in &ry**in!or, an! any +(o look
like a #a! guy in 'lyt(erin, an! t(e ot(er t+o can go +(ere e1er t(e (ell t(ey +ant ) !on5t really care.
C3R)C: Hu**lepu**s are particularly goo! *in!ers.
A64:': $(at t(e (ell is a Hu**lepu**% ..... Any+ay, it-s ti"e no+ *or "e to intro!uce "y 1ery goo!
*rien!, our o+n potions pro*essor, Mr. 'e1erus 'nape.
RON: A( "an, Pro*. 'nape ) t(oug(t t(ey *ire! t(at guy. He-s 9ust 3V)6.
HARRY: Co"e on Ron (e5s really not t(at #a!.
('nape enters upstage)
'NAP3: Harry Potter, etention. 0or talking out o* turn. No+ #e*ore +e #egin, ) +ill gi1e you all your
1ery, 1ery *irst pop ;ui2. Can anyone tell "e +(at a port<key is% Yes Ms. &ranger.
H3RM)ON3: (*ast) A port key is an enc(ante! o#9ect t(at +(en touc(e! +ill transport t(e one or ones
+(o touc( it to any+(ere in t(e glo#e !eci!e! #y t(e one +(o create! t(e enc(ant"ent.
'NAP3: Very goo!. No+ can anyone tell "e +(at *ores(a!o+ing is% Yes Ms. &ranger.
H3RM)ON3: (*ast) 0ores(a!o+ing is a !ra"atic !e1ice in +(ic( an i"portant plot point is "entione!
early in t(e story in or!er to return later in a "ore signi*icant +ay.
'NAP3: Per*ect.
RON: $(at is a port<key again ) "isse! t(at one.
H3RM)ON3: O(. A port key is an enc(ante! o#9ect t(at +(en touc(e! +ill transport t(e one any+(ere in
t(e glo#e
'NAP3: No+ re"e"#er a port<key can #e so"et(ing see"ingly (ar"less like=a *oot#all or, a !olp(in.
6AV3N3R: Pro*essor, Can like a person #e a port<key%
'NAP3: No. /(at-s a#sur!. A person can (o+e1er #e a (orcru8.
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HARRY: $(at5s a (orcru8%
'NAP3: )5" not e1en going to tell you Harry, you5ll *in! out soon enoug(.
H3RM)ON3: 'o +(at is t(e point o* t(is ;ui2%
'NAP3: No point in particular, 9ust i"portant in*or"ation t(at everyone s(oul! kno+. (to Au!ience)
especially you. No+ "o1ing rig(t along, t(ere are *our (ouses an! t(ey are &ry**in!or. Ra1encla+.
Hu**lepu**.
C3R)C: 0in!.
'NAP3: $(at% ... An! 'lyt(erin. No+ tra!itionally, points are gi1en *or goo! #e(a1ior an! !e!ucte! *or
rule #reaking. /ra!itionally at t(e en! o* t(e year t(e (ouse +it( t(e "ost points +oul! +in t(e (ouse
cup. Ho+e1er t(is year +ere !oing t(ings a #it !i**erently. Here to intro!uce it is our ne+ pro*essor o* t(e
ark Arts, Pro*essor >uirrel.
(Harry-s scar starts to sting; >uarrel enters upstage le*t an! s(u**les center)
>:)RR36: /(e (ouse cup, a ti"e (onore! tra!ition, *or centuries t(e ? (ouses o* Hog+arts (a1e
co"pete! *or t(e (onor an! glory o* (a1ing t(e title o* (ouse c(a"pion, #ut +(ere !oes t(is co"petition
co"e *ro", an! +(at are t(e roots o* t(e tra!ition%
H3RM)ON3: (*ast). /(e (ouse cup co"petition #egan +it( t(e *irst generation o* Hog+arts stu!ents.
>:)RR36: )t +as a r(etorical ;uestion.
A64:': &ranger, ;uit interrupting, @A points *ro" &ry**in!or.
HARRY an! RON: /(anks Her"ione.
>:)RR36: Any+ay, one c(a"pion *ro" eac( o* t(e ? (ouses +oul! co"plete a series o* !angerous tasks
to +in eternal glory.
H3RM)ON3: 7in! o* like a tri<+i2ar! tourna"ent.
>:)RR36: Yes, sort o* like t(e tri<+i2ar! tourna"ent, e8cept not. /(ere are *our (ouses, (o+ can it #e
t(e tri<+i2ar! tourna"ent +it( *our tea"s%
H3RM)ON3: 4ut pro*essor i* ) re"e"#er correctly, t(e (ouse cup tourna"ent +as !is#an!e! a*ter one
se"ester +(en one o* its stu!ents +as kille!.
A64:': Her"ione &ranger s(ut your ungo!ly, lopsi!e! "out( an! ;uit interrupting, @A "ore points.
You kno+, *or t(e cle1erest +itc( o* your age you really can #e a !u"#ass so"eti"es. ... (please!) BA
points to u"#le!ore.
>:)RR36: Yes +ell it +ill #e 1ery !angerous, (Vol!e"ort snee2es)
A64:': i! your tur#an 9ust snee2e%
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8
>:)RR36: $(at% No.
A64:': ) coul! (a1e s+orn ) (ear! a snee2e co"ing *ro" your !irection #ut your "out( +asn-t "o1ing.
>:)RR36: No t(at +as si"ply a *art, e8cuse "e. (V. keeps snee2ing, H. scar stings) ) "ust #e going.
(snee2e) ) si"ply *arte! once "ore, e8cuse "e.
A64:': A c(a"pion *ro" eac( (ouse +ill #e selecte! to co"pete. No+ 'nape +ill you !o us t(e (onors
please%
'NAP3: Yes, (ea!"aster. 0irst *ro" t(e Ra1encla+ (ouse, C(o C(ang.
CHO: O( "y gos( )51e +on, ) can-t #elie1e ) +on.
'NAP3: Ne8t *ro" Hu**lepu**: Ce!ric igory.
C3R)C: $ell ) !on5t find t(is surprising at all.
'NAP3: Ne8t *ro" t(e 'lyt(erin (ouse: raco Mal*oy.
MA60OY: OH. )-1e *inally #eaten you (a1en-t ) Potter% $(at !o you t(ink o* t(at (u(% (6ays across
Potter) )5" t(e c(a"pion t(is ti"e. (0alls on *loor).
A64:': raco +oul! you sit !o+n, you little t+it, C(a"pion-s 9ust a title.
'NAP3: An! *inally *ro" t(e &ry**in!or (ouse: o( "y, +ell isn-t t(is curious. /(e only person in all o*
Hog+arts +(o" ) (a1e a +ell<kno+n gru!ge against is no+ in a tourna"ent +(ere (e "ay lose (is li*e.
N3V36: )* it-s "e, )-ll 9ust let t(e &ry**in!ors kno+ rig(t no+ ) =
'NAP3: 'it !o+n, you inarticulate #u##le. )t-s Harry Potter.
(c(eers)
A64:': $ell t(ere t(ey are *olks, t(e *our Hog+arts c(a"pions. An! ) +ant all o* you to start preparing
i""e!iately #ecause t(e *irst task is in @ "ont(s an! it coul! #e anyt(ing. 'o let-s get to it.
(all e8it e8cept *or Ron, Her"ione, an! Harry)
Act1 Part 4
RON: Harry, you-1e got t(is t(ing in t(e #ag.
HARRY: ) !on5t kno+ "an, t(at Ce!ric igory is pretty a+eso"e. NO/. He sucks +ere totally gonna
+in.
H3RMO)N3: ) !on5t kno+ Harry=
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9
RON: OH MY &O'H Her"ione, s(ut up. $(y !o you (a1e to rain on e1ery#o!y-s para!e%
H3RM)ON)3: 4ecause Ron, t(is is !angerous.
HARRY: angerous% O( co"e on Her"ione (o+ !angerous coul! it #e, especially i* it-s "e%
H3RM)ON3: You-re not in1inci#le, Harry. 'o"e#o!y !ie! in t(e tourna"ent.
HARRY: :(, )5" t(e #oy t(at 6)V3 not !ie!, co"e on. $(at5s t(e +orst t(at coul! (appen%
H3RM)ON3: An! ) !on5t kno+ a#out t(at >uirrel c(aracter. He #u"pe! into you an! your scar starte! to
(urt. An! you (a1e to a!"it t(ere +as so"et(ing really *unky a#out t(e #ack o* (is (ea!.
HARRY: /(ink a#out it. Pro*essor >uirrel is a pro*essor, an! +(o (ires pro*essors%
RON an! HARRY: u"#le!ore
HARRY: $(o-s t(e s"artest, "ost a+eso"est, practical +i2ar!=
RON: 4eauti*ul.
HARRY: =#eauti*ul +i2ar! in t(e +(ole +orl!. $(y +oul! (e possi#ly (ire so"e#o!y +(o-s trying to
(urt "e% Alrig(t i* it "eans t(at "uc( to you, )-ll 9ust !rop out.
(Harry C Her"ione (ug)
RON: $ait, $HA/%. /(e House cup% Co"e on t(ink o* all t(e eternal glory you-! +in.
HARRY: Hey, eternal glory% ) alrea!y got t(at. 4esi!es Ne1ille +ill #e a great c(a"pion.
(A64:' enters)
H3RM)ON3: 6ook t(ere5s u"#le!ore, no+ 9ust go talk to (i" an! tell (i" t(at you-re !ropping out.
HARRY: (to Her"ione) Hey listen u"#le!ore an! ) are really cool, +e-re really tig(t an! ) !on5t +ant
(i" to t(ink t(at )5" #eing la2y so coul! you 9ust tell (i"% /ell (i" ) +anna *ocus on sc(ool or
so"et(ing% You got t(is one=okay% (/ouc(es nose)
H3RM)ON3: Okay
(Cross to A64:') u"#le!ore%
A64:': Yes, Ms. &ranger%
H3RM)ON3: ) nee! to talk to you a#out t(e House cup tourna"ent. 0irst o* all ) t(ink it-s an a+*ul i!ea,
#ut secon! o* all ) !on5t t(ink Harry Potter s(oul! co"pete.
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10
A64:': &ranger, +(y you al+ays gotta #e suc( a stick in t(e "u!% /ell "e, +(y s(oul! Harry Potter
not co"pete%
H3RM)ON3: :(, #ecause (e +ants to stu!y.
A64:': &ranger, no#o!y stu!ies at Hog+arts e8cept *or you. $(y coul!n-t Harry (a1e tol! "e t(is
(i"sel*, (e t(inks )5" cool, +ere tig(t.
H3RM)ON3: Pro*essor< )5" a really #a! liar okay, ) t(ink it-s a setup an! ) e1en t(ink t(at 'nape "ig(t
#e trying to kill Harry Potter.
A64:': 'e1erus 'nape is one o* t(e kin!est, #ra1est, gentlest, "ost #eauti*ul "en ) (a1e e1er "et.
'e1erus 'nape is trying to kill Harry Potter 9ust as "uc( as (e is trying to kill "e.
('nape enters)
'NAP3: O( +(y Pro*. u"#le!ore, ) 9ust (appen to #e in t(e kitc(en an! ) !eci!e! to "ake you t(is
!elicious san!+ic(. ('nape re1eals a cut out o* san!+ic( +it( a pipe #o"# s(o+n in t(e "i!!le)
A64:': $(y t(ank you 'e1erus, see &ranger, (o+ t(oug(t*ul.
'NAP3: Here you are Pro*. #o"#< ape= ) "ean #one appetite.
('NAP3 gi1es san!+ic( to A64:' an! Dsets #o"#)
H3RM)ON3: :", is t(at san!+ic( ticking%
A64:': )t looks like its licking, *inger< licking goo!.
H3RM)ON3: Pro*. ) !on5t t(ink you s(oul! eat t(at san!+ic(.
A64:': $(y &ranger, you s(oul! listen to 'nape "ore o*ten you "ay e1en get a san!+ic( out o* (i".
(H3RM)ON3 takes san!+ic( an! t(ro+s it o** to t(e si!e out o* sig(t, an 38plosion e**ect goes o**)
You !og gone e8plo!e! "y san!+ic(.
H3RM)ON3: )5" sorry sir.
A64:': Hey, e1en i* ) !i! #elie1e t(at Harry Potter +as in !anger, (e (as to co"pete. You see t(at cup%
$ell it-s enc(ante!. $(oe1er-s na"e co"es out o* t(e cup "ust co"pete or t(e results +oul! #e #a!.
H3RM)ON3: $(at !o you "ean #a!%
A64:': /ry an! i"agine your entire li*e stopping instantaneously +it( e1ery "olecule in your #o!y
e8plo!ing at t(e spee! o* lig(t.
H3RM)ON3: /otal protonic re1ersal
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A64:': Yes, so you see (e (as to co"pete. An! i* it "akes you *eel any #etter t(e last guy t(at !ie! in
t(e tourna"ent +as a Hu**lepu** so )-ll keep "y eyes open an! not(ing is gonna get past ol! u"#le!ore.
No+ )51e gotta go "ake a ne+ san!+ic(, #ut ) !on5t kno+ (o+ it +ill #e as goo! as t(e last one, t(e last
one ticke!.
H3RM)ON3: 4ecause it +as a #o"#. (crosses) Harry )5" so sorry #ut ) t(ink you-re going to (a1e to
co"pete in t(e (ouse cup. 4ut !on5t +orry ) +on-t rest until ) *oun! out +(at t(e *irst task is.
RON: An! )-ll sa#otage all t(e ot(er c(a"pions so you +in #y !e*ault.
(raco, Cra##e, &oyle enter, &oyle is carrying raco as raco stares at Harry)
MA60OY: $ell isn-t t(is touc(ing%
RON: O( "y gos( 9ust #utt out Mal*oy.
(raco #egins to roll on t(e *loor)
MA60OY: &oyle an! ) (a1e a #et you kno+% He says you +on-t last E "inutes in t(is tourna"ent. )
!isagree; ) say you +on-t last *i1e "inutes at Pig*arts.
HARRY: Alrig(t Mal*oy +(at is Pig*arts%
MA60OY: O(. Ne1er (ear! o* it% Hu( *igures, t(e *a"ous Potter !oesn-t e1en kno+ a#out Pig*arts.
HARRY: Mal*oy, !on5t act like you !on5t +ant to talk a#out it, t(at5s like t(e nint( ti"e you-1e "entione!
Pig*arts. $(at is Pig*arts%
MA60OY: Pig*arts is only t(e greatest +i2ar!ing sc(ool in t(e gala8y, it-s +(ere )5" #eing trans*erre!
ne8t year.
H3RM)ON3: Mal*oy, )51e ne1er e1en (ear! o* t(at.
MA60OY: /(at5s #ecause Pig*arts is on Mars.
HARRY: You kno+ Mal*oy, +ere trying to (a1e a con1ersation (ere. 'o i* you coul! 9ust lea1e us alone.
MA60OY: O(. )5" not e1en (ere.
(Harry, Ron an! Her"ione #egin to "ur"ur t(en "ention u"#le!ore)
MA60OY: u"#le!ore%. He-s not(ing like Ru"#leroar.
&OY63: R:M463ROAR.
MA60OY: Ru"#leroar-s t(e (ea!"aster at Pig*arts.
HARRY: )* you !on5t "in!, +ere trying to (a1e a con1ersation (ere, get outta (ere.
11
12
MA60OY: $ell ) can-t (elp i* ) can (ear e1eryt(ing you say +e-re t(e only ones in (ere.
HARRY: Please Mal*oy please 9ust get out o* (ere please.
MA60OY: $(ere are +e suppose! to go%
HARRY: :( ) !on-t kno+ Pig*arts.
MA60OY: Ha<(a, no+ you-re 9ust #eing cute. ) can-t &O to Pig*arts; it-s on MAR'. You nee! a rocket
s(ip. o you (a1e a rocket s(ip, Potter%
(Mal*oy #reaks #et+een Ron an! Harry an! starts to (roll) on t(e".)
You kno+ not all o* us in(erite! enoug( "oney to #uy out NA'A +(en our parents !ie!.
HARRY: Alrig(t t(at5s it t(is is t(e "ost "isgui!e! +ay to try an! "ake "e *eel 9ealous. 'ure you can
"ake *un o* "e #ut +(en you #ring "y parents into t(is it-s a +(ole ot(er story.
MA60OY: $(oa. Not so *ast Potter, Cra##e. &oyle.
&OY63: 4ack o** ner!.
HARRY: $(oa. $(oa. )5" scare!.
MA60OY: Not so toug( no+, are you Potter% May#e you s(oul! (ang out +it( so"eone #etter t(an t(at
lolly<gagging ginger an! (is stupi! "u!#loo! girl*rien!.
H3RM)ON3: O( t(at is )/ Mal*oy, Felly legs 9in8.
&OY63: Hey no *air "y legs are 9elly.
(Cra##e an! &oyle *all on #acks +it( *eet s(aking in t(e air. Her"ione gra#s Mal*oy-s tie an! points
+an! at (is nose)
H3RM)ON3: /ake it #ack Mal*oy.
MA60OY: /ake +(at #ack%
H3RM)ON3: /ake #ack +(at you sai! a#out your stupi! "a!e up space sc(ool.
RON: Yea( an! all t(at stu** you sai! a#out Her"ione #eing "y girl*rien! t(at5s not e1en a little #it true.
H3RM)ON3: An! say you-re sorry *or calling "e a you<kno+<+(at.
MA60OY: )5" sorry.
H3RM)ON3: An! you pro"ise you-ll ne1er !o it again%
12
13
MA60OY: ) pro"ise.
H3RM)ON3: Alrig(t. No+ ne8t ti"e +e tell you to lea1e us alone you #etter !o it. Co"e on Harry, Ron
let-s get out o* (ere. :n<9elli*y.
RON: /(at +as like t(e "ost 4A t(ing )-1e e1er seen it, too #a! no one +as (ere to see it. )t +as like an
out#reak o* pent<up aggression like: DA((, Her"ione=
(Ron Harry an! Her"ione e8it, Cra##e an! &oyle get up)
&OY63: ) can-t #elie1e ) coul!n-t *igure out t(e counter curse +as 9ust un<9elli*y.
MA60OY: A" ) #lee!ing% ) t(oug(t "ay#e="ay#e it +as a little= +o+; )51e ne1er #een pus(e! !o+n
like t(at #y a girl. May#e ) s(oul!n-t call (er a "u!#< +(ate1er. Co"e on let-s go +atc( $i2ar!s o*
$a1erly Place.
(/(ey e8it)
Act 1 Part 5
(>uirrell enters)
>:)RR36: 0ools. /(ey-re all *ools. /(ey t(ink t(ey-re sa*e. /(ey t(ink t(ey-re #ack to anot(er year o*
learning s(enanigans at Hog+arts, little !o t(ey kno+ t(e !anger t(at5s lurking rig(t un!er t(eir noses. Or
s(oul! ) say on t(e #ack o* t(eir (ea!s=
(>uirrell turns +it( (is #ack to t(e au!ience so t(at Vol!e"ort is *acing t(e au!ience. >uirrell re"o1es
t(e tur#an to re1eal Vol!e"ort *or t(e B
st
ti"e. V. screa"s t(en #egins coug(ing.)
VO63MOR/: ) can-t #reat(e in t(at tur#an.
>:)RR36: )5" sorry sir, #ut it-s a necessary precaution, *or i* t(ey kne+ t(at you li1e! t(at +(en Harry
Potter !estroye! you, your soul li1e! on.
VO63MOR/: Yes, t(at +(en "y #o!y +as !estroye! ) +as *orce! to li1e in t(e *or#i!!en *orest,
eating #ugs, an! "us(roo"s, an! unicorn #loo!.
>:)RR36: An! t(at5s +(en ) *oun! you an! let you attac( yoursel* to "y soul.
VO63MOR/: Yes, no#o!y "ust kno+ any o* t(at. No+ >uirrel, get "e so"e +ater.
(>uirrel gra#s a near#y +ater #ottle)
No+ >uirrel, pour it in "y "out(.
(>uirrel !oes so +it( !i**iculty)
)5" !one +it( t(e +ater. $e "ust not (a1e any "ore *oul<ups like tonig(t in t(e &reat Hall.
13
14
>:)RR36: )5" sorry "y lor!, you snee2e!.
VO63MOR/: ) kno+ t(at. &et "e so"e Nasone8 you s+ine.
(>uirrel gets Vol!e"ort nasal spray t(en uses it (i"sel*)
$as( t(at tur#an. )t tickles "y nose.
>:)RR36: Yes, "y !ark king.
VO63MOR/: Okay 9ust rela8 +it( t(e !ark king okay% ) +atc( you +ipe your #utt !aily. You can call
"e Vol!e"ort, +ere t(ere. $e-1e reac(e! t(at point.
>:)RR36: Yes, "y="y Vol!e"ort
VO63MOR/: No+ >uirrel, get us rea!y *or #e!. $e "ust #e +ell reste! i* +e +is( to kill Potter.
/onig(t, in t(e &reat Hall, (e +as so close, ) coul! (a1e touc(e! (i". Re1enge is at "y *ingertips
>uirrel. (>uirrel rinses +it( "out(+as() ) can taste it, it tastes like=cool<"int.
>:)RR36: /(at5s our 6isterine, Vol!e"ort.
VO63MOR/: Yes, e8cellent. $ell= goo!nig(t, >uirrel.
( Vol!e"ort is *acing #e!, t(e @ lean o1er onto t(e #e!, Vol!e"ort is laying +it( (is (ea! in t(e pillo+,
>uirrel is on top o* (i".)
Okay. Okay. ) can-t !o t(is. $e gotta roll o1er; ) can-t sleep on "y tu""y.
>:)RR36: 4ut ) al+ays sleep on "y #ack, ) (a1e #ack trou#les.
VO63MOR/: You roll o1er )-ll= )-ll eat your pillo+. You +ill #e (a1ing a !rea" you are eating a
"ars("allo+ #ut you +ill +ake up an! your *a1orite goose *eat(er pillo+ +ill #e "issing.
>:)RR36: 0ine +e-ll co"pro"ise, +e-ll sleep on our si!e.
VO63MOR/: Okay ) guess ) can !o t(is.
>:)RR36: No+ goo!nig(t.
VO63MOR/: &oo!nig(t >uirrel.
Act 1 Part 6
('cene opens +it( Harry playing guitar in a c(air +it( a suitcase on t(e *loor ne8t to (i", Her"ione is
rea!ing on a #enc(. Ne1ille is on t(e opposite si!e o* t(e stage taking care o* a plant also on a #enc()
H3RM)ON3: Harry, !on5t you t(ink you s(oul! #e trying to *igure out +(at t(e *irst task is gonna #e%
You coul! actually !ie i* you5re not rea!y.
14
15
HARRY: Can-t you 9ust !o it *or "e% Can-t you 9ust prepare all "y stu** *or "e% ) "ean +(at are you
!oing rig(t no+%
H3RM)ON3: )5" +riting your potions essay
HARRY: O( +ell !o t(at *irst cause t(at5s !ue to"orro+. 4ut a*ter t(at can your prepare *or t(e *irst task
please%% /(ank you. You are t(e #est. (touc(es Her"ione-s nose)
(&inny enters rig(t)
Hey &inny co"e (ere, ) +anna s(o+ you so"et(ing.
&)NNY: Hey, Harry Potter.
HARRY: 6isten ) +ant to play you t(is song )51e #een +orking on. ) +ant to play it *or t(is girl ) really
like, so ) 9ust +ant to kno+ +(at you t(ink, so 9ust *or t(e purposes o* no+, cause )5" still +orking out t(e
lyrics, )5" gonna put your na"e +(ere (ers s(oul! #e #ut ) !on5t t(ink it-s gonna +ork out, #ut +e-ll try.
#)**/1
/oure tall and fun and pretty
/oure really, really skinny
:$inny
Im the !ickey to your !innie
/oure the +igger to my (innie
$inny
(anna take you to the city
$onna take you out to diney
$inny
/oure cuter than a guinnie pig
(anna take you up to (innipeg
+hats in Canada0
$inny $inny $inny $inny,,,
/(is !oesn-t +ork +it( your na"e at all. Ho+ !oes it "ake you *eel, e"otionally% on5t you t(ink it
coul! "ake a girl *all in lo1e +it( "e%
&)NNY: ) t(ink it alrea!y (as.
HARRY: A+eso"e. Cause it-s *or C(o C(ang.
&)NNY: O( yea(=s(e is #eauti*ul.
HARRY: $(at are you nuts% 4eauti*ul% More like super<"ega<*o8y<a+eso"e<(ot. '(e-s *ar "ore
attracti1e, "ore appealing, an! "ore interesting t(an any girl t(an ) kno+, in "y i""e!iate group o*
*rien!s.
15
16
(Ron enters)
RON: Hey Ne1ille ((its Ne1ille in t(e #ack o* t(e (ea! as (e 9u"ps o1er #enc(.) (to &inny) "o1e, "o1e,
"o1e, "o1e=
(&inny scoots o1er knocking Her"ione on t(e *loor, Ron sits ne8t to Harry)
Hey. Harry, +(at5s up% 'o ) +as 9ust o**stage (anging out +it( Hagri!, an! ) sa+ t(ese !eli1ery +i2ar!s
#ringing giant cages into t(e !ungeon.
H3RM)ON3: &iant cages%. ) #et +(ate1er is in t(ose cages (as so"et(ing to !o +it( t(e *irst task.
Harry, +e (a1e to *in! out +(at it is.
RON: $ell it !oesn-t "atter #ecause its a*ter (ours, +e can-t lea1e t(e &ry**in!or (ouse, an! +e-ll
pro#a#ly get in trou#le i* +e !o, e1en i* +e !o, s(long#otto" o1er t(ere +ill pro#a#ly tell on us.
H3RM)ON3: O( Ne1ille +on-t tell.
N3V)663: O( yes ) "ost certainly +ill.
RON: 'o +(at are +e gonna !o%
H3RM)ON3: 'i"ple you guys, t(e cloak.
RON: O* course= (t(ey stan! up an! *ace t(e au!ience)
RON, HARRY, H3RM)ON3: /(e cloak.
&)NNY: $ait, +(at cloak%
RON: '(((((((. (Claps in ear)
(Harry #egins to open suitcase, Ne1ille #egins to e8it)
HARRY: ) got a present last year <<< o( #ye Ne1ille. ) got a present last year, "y *irst year at Hog+arts
an! it +as le*t to "e #y "y !a!, "y !a! t(at5s !ea!, (to au!ience) "y *at(er-s !ea!. (to &inny) )t-s "y
in1isi#ility cloak.
&)NNY: O( +o+ee Harry Potter. O(. O(. o you kno+ +(at ) +oul! !o i* ) (a! an in1isi#ility cloak%
HARRY: ) +oul! kick +iener !ogs.
RON: ) +oul! preten! to #e a g(ost an! scare "ean people.
H3RM)ON3: ) +oul! use it to a1oi! e1er *acing "y re*lection in t(e "irror.
&)NNY: $ell actually ) +as gonna say ) +oul! use it to *ake "y o+n !eat( an! +atc( people cry at t(e
*uneral.
16
17
HARRY: Ok, +ell, let-s get outta (er.
(all #egin to e8it)
RON: (stopping &inny) $(oa, +(oa, +(oa, +(ere !o you t(ink you5re going%
&)NNY: $it( you guys%
RON: No +ay. No ki! sisters allo+e! (claps in ear) #esi!es t(ere5s only enoug( roo" un!er t(is cloak *or
@ people so u(, co"e on Her"ione, co"e on.
(Her"ione (an!s guitar to &inny an! e8its +it( Ron)
Act 1 Part 7
(>uirrel enters)
>:)RR36: (to Vol!e"ort) Master, "aster t(e s(ip"ent *or t(e *irst task o* t(e tourna"ent (as 9ust
arri1e!.
VO63MOR/: Yes ) kno+ >uirrel; ) (ear e1eryt(ing t(at you (ear.
(>uirrel takes o** tur#an)
>:)RR36: )sn-t t(is +on!er*ul% $e (a1e "a!e sure t(at Harry-s na"e +as !ra+n *ro" t(e cup an! soon
(e +ill #e ours.
VO63MOR/: Yes=its really (appening isn-t it >uirrell% ...You kno+, +it( t(e plan going so +ell, )
t(ink t(at "ay#e +e s(oul! cele#rate. $(at !o you say >uirrel, (o+-s a#out +e go out% ) (ear its karaoke
nig(t !o+n at t(e Hog-s Hea!.
>:)RR36: ) !on5t kno+, ) (a1e all t(ese papers to gra!e, an! )51e #een gi1ing so "uc( attention to t(is
re1enge plan t(at )51e gotten a little #e(in!.
VO63MOR/: A(( co"e on >uirrel, you-1e #een +orking so (ar! all year, you !eser1e a nig(t o**.
>:)RR36: 4ut t(e papers=
VO63MOR/: O( 9ust gi1e t(e" all 4-s an! #e !one +it( it.
>:)RR36: No+ t(at5s e1il. (&ra!es papers) 4=4=4<. You kno+, ) (a1en-t (a! t(is "uc( *un since
Nearly Hea!less Nick-s !eat( !ay party o* -GB.
VO63MOR/: ) (a1en-t (a! t(is "uc( *un since=.+ell, ) can-t re"e"#er e1er (a1ing t(is "uc( *un.
>:)RR36: You ne1er (a! *un e1er% oing anyt(ing% May#e t(at5s +(y you5re so e1il.
17
18
VO63MOR/: Yea(, "ay#e. ) !e*initely t(oug(t it +as t(e *act t(at "uggles an! "u! #loo!s "ake "e
*eel sick to "y sto"ac(, #ut yea( ) guess you coul! #e rig(t =
>:)RR36: $(at is it Vol!e"ort%
VO63MOR/: O( it-s 9ust ) ne1er really e1er consi!ere! t(ere +as anot(er reason *or "e #eing so e1il.
4ecause nor"ally ) 9ust= ) 9ust kill people +(o try to get "e to open up you kno+% =Oops. )t-s 9ust
kin!a nice to 9ust talk.
>:)RR36: Yea(, you kno+ ) (a1e to a!"it ) +as kin! o* ner1ous +(en you *irst !e"an!e! t(at you
attac( yoursel* to "y soul.
VO63MOR/: Yea(, ) coul! sense t(at.
>:)RR36: 4ut like no+ ) t(ink it-s kin! o* cool, it-s like (a1ing a really close roo""ate or e1en=
VO63MOR/: Yea( like a sla1e= like a !eat( eater.
>:)RR36: No "an, it-s like (a1ing a *rien!.
VO63MOR/: )51e ne1er (a! a *rien! #e*ore.
>:)RR36: $ell it looks like you-1e got one no+.
;UI**2331
I guess its plain to see
(hen you look at you and me
were different
different
as can be
5'3D2!'*+ and ;UI**231
(ell lead em to the slaughter
and well murder #arry Potter
(ere different
Different
Different, different
)s can be0
(/(ey e8it. Ron, Harry, an! Her"ione enter +it( t(e Dcloak , Harry in *ront, Ron,
Her"ione) RON: /(is cloak isn-t as #ig as it use! to #e.
H3RM)ON3: No+ +(ere !i! you say you sa+ t(ose crates #eing !eli1ere!%
RON: ) t(ink t(ey +ere #eing !eli1ere! to t(e au!itoriu" so t(ey s(oul! #e at t(e en! o* t(is (all+ay an!
to t(e le*t.
18
19
(/(ey +alk in place +(ile t(e pillars "o1e upstage in or!er to gi1e t(e i!ea o* +alking *or+ar!s. A s(eep
in a cage is set on t(e rig(t si!e o* t(e stage.)
HARRY: Hey look.
H3RM)ON3: A s(eep%%
HARRY: O( "y gos(, ) (a1e to *ig(t a s(eep% ) !on5t kno+ i* ) can !o t(at "orally.
('nape an! Al#us enter)
'NAP3: An! t(e s(eep (a1e all #een sent *or *ee!ing ti"e, (ea!"aster.
A64:': 0ee!ing ti"e% ragons !on5t +ant to #e *e! t(ey +ant to (unt.
HARRY: (to group) i! (e 9ust say !ragons%
'NAP3: (to Al#us) i! you 9ust say Di! (e 9ust say !ragons%

A64:': ) "ust (a1e, #ecause anyone else (i!ing in t(is roo" +oul! (a1e kno+ to s(ut up= Potter.
'NAP3: Hea!"aster, !o you really t(ink it-s +ise to (a1e c(il!ren *ig(t !ragons%
A64:': No 'nape ) !on5t t(ink it-s +ise to !o anyt(ing any"ore, (ere ) a" ali1e an! +ell to!ay, #ut )
coul! 1ery +ell #e kille! #y you, to"orro+.
'NAP3: $(y t(at5s a#sur!.
A64:': Ha1e you e1er seen "y roo"% ) (a1e so"e pretty kickin- posters on "y +all.
(/(ey e8it; Harry takes o** cloak an! (an!s it to Ron)
HARRY: Man ) (a1e to *ig(t a !ragon% /(is is #ogus. Ho+ can ) *ig(t a !ragon, )5" 9ust a little ki!%
RON: $ell "ay#e it +on-t #e t(at #a! Harry, "ay#e you-ll 9ust (a1e to *ig(t like Mus(u *ro" Mulan or
Pu** t(e Magic ragon.
H3RM)ON3: Ron, t(is is serious. Harry coul! !ie. Alrig(t t(ere5s still ti"e, +e 9ust nee! to *igure out a
plan.
(/(ey e8it)
Act 1 Part 9
('nape is center stage)
'NAP3: /(e Hog+arts c(a"pions no+ "ust enter t(e c(a"pion-s tent in preparation o* t(e *irst task.
(e8it)
19
20
HARRY: (enter +it( lunc( sack) Man ) can-t #elie1e ) (a1e to skip lunc( perio! *or t(is stupi! task.
(Her"ione enters)
H3RM)ON3: Okay Harry to!ay is t(e !ay you *ig(t t(e !ragon, no+ !i! you rea! t(ose notes ) "a!e *or
you on !ragons%
HARRY: No, #ut at least ) (a1e "y +an!=
('earc(es *or +an!, Her"ione pulls +an! out o* (er cloak)
H3RM)ON3: Here.
HARRY: Hey, (taps (er nose) you-re t(e #est.
H3RM)ON3: Harry, please 9ust !on5t !ie to!ay. ) !on5t +ant to see "y #est *rien! get eaten #y a !ragon.
(/(ey (ug, raco an! Ce!ric enter)
Ce!ric: 'o tell "e "ore a#out t(is Pig*arts, ) 0)N it to #e 1ery interesting.
RACO: $ell +(ile you-re t(ere you (a1e to +ear your spacesuit at all ti"es, #ecause i* you !on-t,
you-ll pro#a#ly !ie. 4ut t(e goo! ne+s is i* you5re a goo! enoug( stu!ent, Ru"#leroar lets you ri!e
aroun! on (is #ack.
C3R)C: An! (e5s t(e (ea!"aster lion%
RACO: $(o can talk.
C3R)C: $ell (ello Harry, (o+ are you *eeling to!ay%
HARRY: Hey Ce!ric, trying to stay positi1e.
C3R)C: $ell goo!. )5" (appy to 0)N you in goo! spirits. Ms. &ranger.
H3RM)ON3: Hello.
(C(o is (ear! o**stage t(en runs to Ce!ric)
CHO: 'ugar pie.
C3R)C: My !arling.
HARRY: ) (ate t(at guy.
(Al#us enters)
20
21
A64:': $OAH, &o! &ranger, ) t(oug(t you +ere a 4ogart. An! +(at t(e (ell are you !oing in t(e
c(a"pions- tent% /en "ore points.
HARRY: /(anks Her"ione.
(Her"ione e8its)
A64:': No+ are you ki!s rea!y to *ig(t a !ragon% O* course not you5re 9ust c(il!ren +(at t(e (ell a" )
t(inking% No+ outsi!e t(is tent t(ere are t(ousan!s upon t(ousan!s o* screa"ing *ans no+ t(ey-re eit(er
gonna #e c(eering *or you, or t(e !ragon, #ut eit(er +ay t(ey are gonna #e "aking so"e kin!a noise. 'o
in or!er *or t(e selection process to #e *air ) a" ran!o"ly going to select a car!#oar! cutout si2e 1ersion
o* t(e !ragon you +ill #e *acing. Ce!ric *or you, Pu**, t(e "agic !ragon. C(o, 0ig"ent, t(e i"aginary
!ragon. raco, /(e reluctant !ragon. An! *or you Potter, t(e Hungarian Horntail t(e "ost terri*ying t(ing
you-1e e1er seen in your +(ole li*e. Any+ay i* t(ere are no "ore co"plaints=
HARRY: $ait a secon!. /(is is terri*ying, an! t(ose are t(e cutest t(ings )-1e e1er seen.
(Al#us picks up 0ig"ent)
A64:': /(is t(ing is (orri*ying. Fust use your i"agination. isapparate.
(Al#us e8its; Ron enters (ol!ing a #o8 o* ou#le stu**e! Oreos)
RON: O( "y go!, t(is co"petition-s gonna suck. All t(ese !ragons are +i"py, Accio !ou#le<stu**.
(/akes a #ite o* Oreo t(en glances at Harry-s !ragon) OH MY &O, MON'/3R. )s t(at yours%.
HARRY: Yea(.
RON: )t-s a+eso"e, ) +anna (ol! it. O( "y go! t(is t(ing is terri*ying, ) (ope t(e real t(ing is s"aller,
ra+r. 0erocious. $(at are you gonna !o%
HARRY: ) !on5t kno+, )5" not cut out *or t(is kin! o* stu**=
(Her"ione enters, *ollo+e! #y 'nape)
H3RM)ON3: Ron, you can-t #e in (ere t(is is t(e C(a"pions- tent=
'NAP3: Ms. &ranger, +(at t(e !e1il are you !oing in t(e C(a"pions- tent% /en points *ro" &ry**in!or.
RON AN HARRY: /(anks Her"ione.
RON: Hey, goo! luck #u!!y. 4ye 'nape.
'NAP3: 4ye.
(Ron an! Her"ione e8it)
'NAP3: Ce!ric igory, no+ it is ti"e to *ace your !ragon.
21
22
C3R)C: Alrig(t *ellas, +is( "e luck.
CHO: ) #elie1e in you.
C3R)C: /(at5s all ) nee!e! to (ear.
('nape an! Ce!ric e8it)
HARRY: Hey Mal*oy, ) tell you +(at, )-ll let you s+itc( !ragons +it( "e, )-ll gi1e you t(e c(ance to
s+itc( !ragons +it( "e, )-ll gi1e you t(at opportunity.
RACO: :" le""e t(ink a#out it= no.
('nape enters)
'NAP3: Ms. C(o C(ang, your !ragon a+aits.
CHO: $ell ) can-t )MA&)N3 t(at t(is +ill #e 1ery (ar!.
'NAP3: /(en ) )MA&)N3 it +on-t #e.
(/(ey e8it)
HARRY: /ell you +(at )-ll t(ro+ in "y /e!!y &ra(a"s +it( t(e &us(ers an! you can "ake little gus(er
te!!y gra(a" san!+ic(es.
RACO: Alrig(t t(ro+n in t(at pack o* oritos an! you-1e got yoursel* a !eal.
HARRY: A#solutely not.
('nape enters)
'NAP3: raco Mal*oy
(raco e8its; long pause onstage)
'NAP3: Out you go Potter. ('nape pus(es Potter to center stage)
A64:': An! no+ Harry Potter +ill *ig(t t(e Hungarian Horntail t(e "ost terri*ying t(ing you-1e e1er
seen in your +(ole li*e.
(4lackout)
Act 1 Part 10
('nape is seen (ol!ing a +reat()
22
23
'NAP3: Attention all Hog+arts stu!ents, tonig(t is our annual Yule #all, so please re"e"#er to pick up
your Yule #all +reat( an! gi1e it to so"eone special.
(&inny enters)
'NAP3: AHH &)N&3R.
('nape t(ro+s +reat( at &inny an! runs o**stage, &inny !rops +reat( an! e8its, Harry enters opposite
si!e, picks up +reat(. Ron enters)
RON: Hey t(ere goo! #u!!y (o+ ya !oin-%
HARRY: )5" okay
RON: )s t(at a Yule 4all +reat(%
HARRY: Yea(
RON: $(o ya gonna ask%
HARRY: $ell ) aske! C(o C(ang #ut s(e turne! "e !o+n *or Ce!ric 'tupory.
RON: O( "y goo!ness t(ey-re going toget(er% /(at is so great, ) lo1e (i" so "uc( t(ere are so=
HARRY: No, no, no.
RON: ) (ate (i", ) (ate (i" so "uc(. O( "y gos( (e pisses "e o**. A+ "an t(at sucks !u!e, ) !on5t
kno+ +(y s(e-! turn you !o+n; you5re like t(e coolest guy in sc(ool.
HARRY: ) kno+ ) !on5t get it "an, ) play guitar, )5" Harry Potter )5" a+eso"e. )-ll pro#a#ly 9ust go
alone.
RON: Yea( )-ll pro#a#ly go alone too, ) "ean t(e only girls +(o !on5t (a1e !ates alrea!y are &inny (#ot(
t(u"#s !o+n) an! Her"ione(#ot( t(u"#s !o+n *art(er) an! )5" not going +it( "y stupi! sister.
HARRY: An! ) t(ink o* Her"ione as "y sister so t(at out.
RON: $e are in suc( a pu22le.
(Ne1ille enters)
N3V)663: My look at t(ese strapping young "en.
RON AN HARRY: Hey Ne1ille
HARRY: Hey +ant t(is Yule 4all +reat(.
N3V)663: $ell ) guess i* you5re +illing to part +it( it ) +ill take t(is +reat(.
23
24
HARRY: Hey Ron lets go (ang out +it( Hagri!, (e can teac( us (o+ to !ance an! +e can get in our
!ress ro#es.
RON: /(at can only lea! us to !isaster an! (ilarity, let-s go. ) 9ust !on5t kno+ a#out Her"ione #ecause )
!on5t t(ink anyone-s aske! (er #ecause s(e-s 9ust so #utt ugly.
(Ron, Harry e8it, &oyle enters)
&OY63: (to Ne1ille) gi1e t(at plant, ner!.
(Ne1ille runs o**stage)
O( &oyle rules.
(raco an! Cra##e enter carrying a cape "ount o* t(e 'lain ragon)
MA60OY: yes it +as Reluctant enoug( at *irst, #ut ) lure! it out o* its cage an!= &oyle, +(at are you
!oing +it( t(at +reat(%. $(at are you going to ask so"eone to t(e Yule 4all%
&OY63: (!rops +reat()=No. ancing-s *or ner!s.
CRA443: An! pretty girls.
MA60OY: You-re rig(t; you kno+ +(o t(e last girl )-! e1er ask to t(e Yule #all +oul! #e% /(at
Her"ione &ranger. Not e1en i* +e +ere t(e last @ people on eart( an! s(e looke! a#solutely stunning in
(er #all go+n so t(at e1ery ti"e ) looke! at (er ) +oul! get #utter*lies in "y tu""y.
(Pansi enters)
CRA443: ancing is *or Pansies.
MA60OY: Hey you t(ere +(at5s your na"e%
PAN'): Pansi.
MA60OY: Per*ect. You5re going to t(e Yule 4all +it( "e. You see t(at !ragon% $ell it +as reluctant
enoug( at *irst #ut ) lure!=
(All 38it, >uirrel enters carrying a #o+l +it( a la!le +rappe! in a clot( napkin)
(>uirrel sets !o+n #o+l, still (ol!ing la!le, takes o** tur#an)
>:)RR36: My lor! t(e Yule #all (as *inally arri1e!, an! )51e #roug(t t(e key.
VO63MOR/: (*rustrate!) Yes ) kno+ >uirrel ) (ear e1eryt(ing you (ear.
>:)RR36: )5" sorry.
24
25
VO63MOR/: No )5" sorry, ) s(oul!n-t (a1e snappe!, )5" 9ust ner1ous t(at5s all. ) !on5t +anna talk
a#out it. Hey >uirrel, +e s(oul! "ake plans.
>:)RR36: 31il plans%.
VO63MOR/: :(, no casual plans like, +e coul! go roller#la!ing on a 'atur!ay an! see a "o1ie t(at
nig(t.
>:)RR36: Yea( it +ill #e great #ecause +e-ll #ot( #e a#le to +atc( it *or a c(ange.
VO63MOR/: $(ate1er (appens tonig(t "an, it-s #een a #last.
>:)RR36: Yea(, one cra2y year. (V. c(eers), (ey< pro"ise +e-ll go roller#la!ing an! see t(at "o1ie.
VO63MOR/: O(, "an, ) pro"ise.
(>uirrel +raps (is ar"s aroun! (i"sel* as i* to (ug V., V. sig(s in satis*action.)
Okay, >uirrel let-s go plant t(at key an! split, pun inten!e!.
(>uirrel puts tur#an #ack on 'nape enters.)
'NAP3: $(y, pro*essor >uirrel, +(at are you !oing in t(e great !ance (all 9ust "o"ents #e*ore t(e
!ance%
>:)RR36: Fust !ecorating or t(e Yule 4all 9ust so"e last "inute !ecorations. Fust one *inal touc(. (!rops
la!le Dkey into t(e punc( #o+l)
'NAP3: A la!le%
>:)RR36: A 1ery special la!le, *or a 1ery special nig(t, *or a 1ery special punc(.
'NAP3: An! +(at5s so special a#out t(is punc(%
>:)RR36: 6et-s 9ust say t(ere-s 'ierra Mist in it.
'NAP3: 'ierra Mist%. )s t(at not t(e *a1orite !rink o* one Harry Potter%
>:)RR36: )s it% ) (a! no i!ea. $ell +e #etter #e going<
'NAP3: $e%.
>:)RR36: ) #etter #e going, lou! "usic (urts "y ears.
'NAP3: Okay +ell )-ll see you later t(en.
>:)RR36: Or "ay#e you +on-t.
25
26
'NAP3: Or "ay#e ) +ill.
(t(ey e8c(ange a glance t(en >uirrel e8its running into Al#us, an! 'nape crosses to center.)
A64:': Hey, 'e1erus.
'NAP3: O( (ea!"aster.
A64:': $(at are you !oing in (ere% &etting so"e punc( are you%
'NAP3: O( ) +oul!n5t t(ere-s 'ierra Mist in t(ere.
A64:': O( only Harry Potter likes t(at stu**, )-ll stick +it( "y Re! 4ull, t(ank you 1ery "uc(.
'NAP3: $ell, )-ll see you to"orro+ (ea!"aster.
A64:': O( #ut 'e1erus aren-t you going to stay *or t(e !ance%
'NAP3: $ell ) +oul! (ea!"aster, #ut you see an ol! *rien! is co"ing #ack into to+n tonig(t. (laug(s
an! e8its)
Act 1 Part 11
(3nter 'tu!ents to so*t slo+ "usic, Ron enters 6. carrying a H pack o* #utter #eer, Harry is sulking
!o+nstage rig(t)
HARRY: Hey, Ron.
RON: Hey +(at5s up !u!e% Ha1e you seen Her"ione any+(ere%
HARRY: No ) (a1en-t, +(y%
RON: O( not(ing, it-s 9ust you kno+, ) (ear! t(at Her"ione is in t(e girl-s roo" 9ust crying (er eyes out,
in a #at(roo" stall. )sn-t t(at like t(e sa!!est t(ing you-1e e1er (ear!% ) "ean ) !on5t kno+ it +as
ine1ita#le t(at one !ay Her"ione +oul! reali2e t(at no guy +oul! e1er like (er, #ecause o* (er o#no8ious
personality an! (er ugly *ace.
MA60OY: Hey you t+o o1er (ere talking a#out &ranger%
HARRY: Mal*oy +(y !on5t you 9ust get out o* (ere it-s none o* your #usiness, +(y !on5t you 9ust go
!ance +it( Pansi o1er t(ere%
MA60OY: (to Pansi) Hey go get "e so"e punc(.
PAN'): Okay, u" ) s(oul! tell you t(ere-s 'ierra Mist in it.
MA60OY: 'ierra Mist%. Ne1er "in! )-ll stay !e(y!rate!. &o po+!er your nose o* so"et(ing.
26
27
PAN'): 4ut ) 9ust *i8e! "y "ake up a little +(ile ago.
MA60OY: /rust "e you nee! "ore po+!er. (to Harry) Pain on t(e eyes rig(t% (Pansi e8its) 'o any+ay,
notice! &ranger-s not aroun! (ere, pro#a#ly #etter t(at +ay too.
RON: Man, +(y !on5t you 9ust gi1e (er a #reak *or once okay, Mal*oy%
MA60OY: $(y !e*en!ing (er $easley% Ha1e a crus(%
RON: NO. $(y all t(e insults Mal*oy, co1ering up a crus(%
MA60OY: O( rig(t, rig(t like ) coul! e1er (a1e a crus( on t(at stupi! "u!<
CHO: OH MY &O'H.
(Her"ione enters upstage center. 'tu!ents a!li#: '(e looks so #eauti*ul, #less (er (eart.)
*'.1
#ere I am face to face
with a situation
I never ever thought Id see
strange how a dress
can take a mess
and make her nothing less than
beautiful to me
I feel like my eyes have been transfigured
something deep inside has changed
they've been open wide, but hold that trigger
this could mean . Danger
I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
I could be falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
with #ermione $ranger
D*)C'1
(#)+9 what the hell is this9
/'U e<pect me to sing about her9
don't care about her
it's 7ust a little make up
Draco, (ake up
I'm mistaken
she,,, is the hottest girl I've ever seen
now,,, because she's like a girl I've never seen
don't know why,,,, I'd ever be so mean, this could mean D).$2*0
27
28
I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
I could be falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
(ith #ermione $ranger.
!)3-'/ and *'.1 I wanna let her know....
!)3-'/1 I feel so =ueasy
!)3-'/ and *'.1 %ut I cant let it show....
*'.1 "hed laugh poor (easley
*'.1 Come on *on
D*)C'1 Draco
+'$2+#2*1 /ou gotta let it go, you gotta let it go
+'$2+#2*1,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
!)3-'/1
(#)+9 what the hell is this9
I want to sing about her
sing about her
I want to make up
granger, wake up
Ive been mistaken
she,,, is the hottest girl I've ever seen
now,,, because she's like a girl I've never seen
don't know why,,,, I'd ever be so mean, this could mean D).$2*0
*'.1
here I am face to face
with a situation
I never thought Id see
strange how a dress
can take a mess
and make her nothing less than
beautiful to me
I feel like my eyes have been transfigured
something deep inside has changed
they've been open wide, but hold that trigger
this could mean . Danger
+'$2+#2*1
I'm falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
I could be falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
(ith #ermione $ranger.
(ith #ermione $rander.
(ith #ermione $ranger.
D).$2*0
28
29
Act 1 Part 12
RON: A( ) can-t #elie1e it.
HARRY: $(at%
RAN: ) can-t #elie1e t(at s(e is !ancing +it( e1ery ot(er guy (ere #ut "e. /(at is so stupi!.
HARRY: $(y !o you care "an%
RON: ) !on5t care "an an! t(at-s +(at )5" going to go up an! tell (er. )5" going to go up to (er an! say, )
!on5t care +(at you !o, an! s(e-s going to *eel so stupi!, s(e-s going to *eel like suc( an i!iot.
HARRY: Hey, listen Ron, you5re acting like a real 9erk, an! "ay#e you s(oul! take it easy on t(e #utter
#eer.
RON: No.
H3RM)ON3: Hey, guys.
HARRY: Hey, Her"ione, (ey you look great.
H3RM)ON3: O( t(anks. You kno+ ) use! to t(ink looks +eren-t i"portant #ut no+ ) t(ink t(ey are
"ore i"portant t(an anyt(ing. ) "ean )5" 9ust (a1ing so "uc( *un !ancing +it( e1eryone.
RON: $o+, Her"ione, +(en !i! you #eco"e so s(allo+%
H3RM)ON3: $(at is +rong +it( you Ron.
RON: Not(ing. Not(ing-s +rong +it( "e, +(y !on5t you 9ust go ask s(long#otto" to !ance (u(%
H3RM)ON3: You kno+ +(at "ay#e ) +ill. ('tor"s o**)
RON: ) s(o+e! (er.
HARRY: $ait a (ot secon!; ) kno+ +(at5s going on (ere. You-1e got a crus(. Alrig(t Ron, "ay#e +(at
you s(oul! !o is you s(oul! go o1er t(ere an! tell (er (o+ you *eel.
RON: $(at no. 4ecause t(en s(e-! kno+ t(at ) like! (er an! you al+ays kno+ t(at you ne1er tell a girl
you like t(e" #ecause it "akes you look like an i!iot.
HARRY: ) kno+ you-ll look like an i!iot, anyti"e you tell a girl you like (er it "akes you look !u"#,
t(at is ine1ita#le, #ut listen, it-s so"et(ing you (a1e to !o. $e look like i!iots any+ay. You 9ust gotta=
gi1e it a c(ance. (ease +ay o1er to &inny seen sitting on a #enc() May#e t(ere-s so"et(ing t(ere you
!i!n-t see #e*ore. ) "ean you 9ust gotta go an! *in! so"et(ing special t(at +as t(ere t(e +(ole ti"e you
9ust !i!n-t (a1e t(e guts to=say anyt(ing.
RON: $ait +(ere are you going% )5" still "a! an! sa!.
29
30
HARRY: Hol! on, Harry-s going to take (is o+n a!1ice, pal. (Cross to &inny) Hey, &inny.
&)NNY: Hey, Harry.
HARRY: Can ) sit !o+n%
&)NNY: :", yea(, sure.
HARRY: 'o, (o+-s Hog+arts%
&)NNY: $ell=it-s okay, +ell actually ) +as really e8cite! to co"e (ere, #ut no+ t(at )5" (ere ) 9ust
!on5t t(ink ) #elong.
HARRY: O( yea(, ) totally kno+ +(at you "ean.
&)NNY: :(, no you !on5t. You-re Harry Potter
HARRY: Yea( ) kno+, #ut *or BB years ) +as 9ust t(is !u"# ki! +(o got t(e crap kicke! out o* (i" an!
li1e! un!er t(ese stairs. All o* a su!!en it +as like, YO:5R3 A $)IAR, YO: HAV3 A66 /H3'3
PO$3R'. An! no+ e1ery#o!y t(inks )5" cool all o* a su!!en, it-s +eir!, it-s kin! o* isolating.
&)NNY: ) un!erstan!, it-s like +(en you *irst got (ere no#o!y +ante! to get to kno+ you #ecause t(ey
t(oug(t t(ey alrea!y kne+ you, #ut e1entually you-ll *in! so"e people +(o +ant to get to kno+ you *or
t(e real you.
HARRY: You kno+ &inny, ) (a1e *oun! so"eone an! )51e taken t(e" *or grante! so you kno+ +(at%
Co"e on. You +ant to !ance% /(at5s t(e +(ole point o* t(e e1ening.
(Harry takes &inny to center stage, t(ey !ance)
No+ )51e got to +arn you, ) learne! all "y #est !ance "o1es *ro" Hagri!, so )5" not t(at great.
&)NNY: )5" sure you-ll #e *ine= +o+ Harry Potter; ) !on5t care +(at any#o!y says you5re t(e #est
!ancer t(at e1er +as.
HARRY: $ell you see &inny ) (a1e a con*ession to "ake. You see t(ese s(oes; t(ey-re actually "agical
enc(ante! !ancing s(oes. )5" 9ust "essing +it( you; )5" 9ust a+eso"e at !ancing.
(Ron karate c(ops #et+een Her"ione an! Ne1ille as i* to cut in)
RON: YAH. $(en you !ance +it( Ne1ille is +(en you cross t(e line. ('(o1es #utter #eer at Ne1ille)
Here take t(is #eat it, get outta (ere.
(Ne1ille e8its +it( #utter #eer)
H3RM)ON3: $(y are you #eing so "ean to "e%
RON: )5" not #eing "ean.
30
31
H3RM)ON3: Yes you AR3. You kno+ e1ery!ay e1eryone is trying to put "e !o+n, an! t(e one !ay )
actually *eel like a person you-re trying to R:)N )/..
RON: (#acking o**) Holy crap.
H3RM)ON3: $(at is +rong +it( you Ron%
MA60OY: $easley. (Rolls to Ron) t(e la!y sai! no.
H3RM)ON3: Not you too. You kno+ +(at, ) a" so sick o* #ot( o* you. ) (ate you #ot(. (slaps raco
an! Ron an! e8its)
MA60OY: $(at !i! you say to (er%%
RON: Not(ing.
MA60OY an! RON (a! li# o1erlapping): )5" #lee!ing. O(, look at t(is. look +(at s(e !i! to "e.
HARRY: &inny, ) *eel kin! o* !i22y.
&)NNY: $ell t(en "ay#e +e s(oul! stop spinning.
HARRY: =$e (a1e stoppe! spinning=. $ait no, no no no no. ) can-t !o t(is, you5re &inny $easley,
you5re "y #est *rien!s little sister, you5re Ron $easley-s sister, ) can-t )5" sorry &inny ) can-t !o
t(is.
(&inny e8its crying)
Hey, C(o, !ance +it( "e, )5" Harry Potter, let5s go. (takes C(o)
C3R)C: :(, e8cuse "e; ) #elie1e ) +as !ancing +it( t(e la!y.
HARRY: Yea(, ) kno+, an! )5" cutting in, so=
C3R)C: $ell ) 0)N t(at to #e 1ery ru!e.
HARRY: Alrig(t Ce!ric +(y !on5t +e 0)N out +(at t(e la!y (as to say a#out it
CHO: 4oys, t(ere-s no nee! to *ig(t o1er little ol!- "e. 4ut #y t(e +ay Ce!ric sai! t(at you c(eate! on
t(e ragon-s test.
HARRY: C(eate!%. Are you ki!!ing "e t(at t(ing +as trying to eat "e. ) +as in its "out(.
C3R)C: 38actly, +(at +ent on in t(ere, )-! like to 0)N out.
HARRY: Alrig(t, t(at is it igory +e are !ueling. 6et-s go.
CHO: O( gos(, all t(is e8cite"ent is "aking "e t(irsty.
31
32
HARRY: O( C(o )-ll get you so"et(ing to !rink )-ll get you so"e punc(.
C3R)C: No )-ll get t(e punc(.
HARRY: No ) +ill get t(e punc(.
C3R)C: 0ine, (a1e t(e punc(. (punc(es Harry, (arry *alls on *loor)
HARRY: Ce!ric igory, )-" gonna kill you.
(Harry gra#s la!le an! tries to (it Ce!ric, scene c(ange)
Act 1 Part 13
(Ce!ric an! Harry *all on *loor)
C3R)C: $(ere are +e%
HARRY: ) !on5t kno+ Ce!ric so"eone punc(e! "e in t(e *ace an! "y sense o* !irection got a little
goo*e! up.
C3R)C: $ell it see"s clear to "e no+ t(at t(at punc( la!le +as a port key, an! no+ t(anks to you,
+e-1e #ot( #een transporte! to so"e "ystery location.
HARRY: 4rilliant Ce!ric, +ell you5re a Hu**lepu** +(y !on5t you 0)N a +ay out o* t(is place.
C3R)C: Harry, ) t(ink ) 0O:N so"et(ing; it appears to #e a (ea!stone. $e "ust #e in so"e sort o*
gra1eyar!. /o" Ri!!le, Mary Ri!!le, /(o"s Ri!!le. Ri!!le "e t(is, e( Potter%
HARRY: Ce!ric, you are so annoying, okay. You5re 9ust like t(is guy t(at5s aroun! all t(e ti"e, +(en )
!on5t nee! a guy aroun!. You5re t(is spare guy all t(e ti"e, t(is spare !u!e, you5re suc( a spare..
VO63MOR/: 7ill t(e spare.
>:)RR36: A1a!a Ca!a1ra..
C3R)C: 'o "any regrets, )5" !ea!.
HARRY: o( "y +i2ar! go!.
>:)RR36: Not so *ast. Petri*icus /otalus.
HARRY: Pro*essor >uirrel you 9ust kille! Ce!ric.
>:)RR366: Not ) Potter, #ut per(aps you +oul! like to see +(o !i!; (e-s !ying to see you. (Re"o1es
tur#an)
VO63MOR/: Harry Potter, /(e 4oy $(o 6i1e!, it-s goo! to see you again.
32
33
'NAP3: /(e Caul!ron is rea!y "y 6or!.
(>uirrell goes #e(in! caul!ron as i* to go into it, 'nape !rops in a cut out #one, t(en (e takes a !agger
an! cuts o** (is (an! into t(e caul!ron. 'nape groans in agony, as anot(er !eat( eater takes t(e !agger
*ro" 'nape an! uses it to cut Harry-s (an!)
'NAP3: etention Potter.
( >uirrel 9u"ps out o* t(e caul!ron only +ear a +(ite #usiness s(irt, #lack tie an! slacks, Vol!e"ort is no
longer attac(e! to (i".)
>:)RR36: (gra##ing #ack o* (ea!) )t +orke!.
(Vol!e"ort stan!s on a stool set #e(in! t(e caul!ron, t(e tunic once (ol!ing >uirrell an! V. toget(er is
no+ a cape. Vol!e"ort is +earing no s(irt, t(e cape, pants an! tap s(oes. He takes a step *or+ar! +it(
great anticipation)
Act 1 Part 14
4366A/R)J: My ark 6or! (#o+s to Vol!e"ort)
VO63MOR/: 4ellatri8 6estrange.
4366A/R)J: O( "y liege, tell "e it-s going to #e like t(e ol! !ays, +(ere +e !i! not(ing #ut torture
an! "ur!er.
VO63MOR/: A( t(e ol! !ays are #ack, #a#y.
4366A/R)J: ) can-t tell you +(at it +as like +it(out you.
VO63MOR/: $ell )5" ne1er going again, #ecause )-1e con;uere! !eat(, an! "y *irst pleasure +ill #e
to kill Harry Potter. /(e ne8t, to take o1er t(e Ministry o* Magic, an! rule t(e +orl! *or all
ti"e..
4366A/R)J: An! you +ill "y 6or!, #ut not yet, *or no+ +e "ust stick to t(e plan, +e #la"e Potter-s
"ur!er on >uirrel, so t(at your return "ay re"ain a secret.
>:)RR36: )5" sorry, +(at +as t(at%
4366A/R)J: You s(all re*er to (i" as "y 6or!, "y 6iege or "y ark 6or! only....
VO63MOR/: O( no, 4ellatri8, it-s cool. >uirrel-s cool. O1er t(e last year (e-s pro1en (i"sel* to #e a
1ery goo! *rK(pause) a 1ery goo! ser1ant to t(e +ill o* t(e ark 6or!.
>:)RR36: O( ) see so=.
4366A/R)J: 'ilence sla1e. Crucio.
(>uirrel *alls to *loor screa"ing Vol!e"ort gra#s 4ellatri8 ar" !o+n, 4ellatri8 laug(s)
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34
4366A/R)J: $(at-s t(e "atter, (e is your pa+n, an! you are (is ;ueen. )t is an (onor to ser1e t(e ark
6or!..
VO63MOR/: (cross to >uirrel +(o is still on t(e *loor) Are you alrig(t%
>:)RR36: i! you really kno+ t(at t(e +(ole ti"e you-! #la"e Potter-s "ur!er on "e%
VO63MOR/: =Yes=yes, ) kne+, #ut t(ings (a1e c(ange! o1er t(e last year, ) *eel... Ho+ !o )
e8plain t(is% )t-s like t(at "o1ie '(e- s A l l / ( at . Re"e"#er +e +atc(e! it toget(er. Re"e"#er
(o+ at t(e en!, 0re!!y Prince Fr. turns out to #e goo!.
>:)RR36: No, ) !i!n-t see t(e en! #ecause you +ere +atc(ing it, on t(e #ack o* "y (ea!, sucking "y
soul.
VO63MOR/: $ell ) +is( t(ere +as anot(er +ay, #ut )-1e got to take o1er t(e +orl!.
>:)RR36: $ell t(ere it is. 6et "e tell you no+ it-s going to #e pretty (ar! to "ake t(at roller#la!ing
!ate *ro" A2ka#an.
4366A/R)J: eat( eaters, take (i" a+ay. (/o Vol!e"ort) An! no+ you (a1e +(at you-1e +aite! *or,
*or so long.
VO63MOR/: $(at%
4366A/R)J: Your c(ance to kill Harry Potter.
VO63MOR/: Yes= 7ill Potter... Ha< +(oa +(ere-! (e go%
HARRY: You-re not killing "e to!ay, Vol!e"ort.
(Harry gra#s la!le Vol!e"ort an! 4ellatri8 e8it +(ile spinning, an! t(e cast *ro" t(e !ance co"es #ack
on stage as (arry rolls Ce!ric to t(e center, u"#le!ore is no+ stan!ing o1er t(e t+o)
&)NNY: O( "y Ro+ling, +(at (appene!, Harry Potter%
A64:': Harry, +(at t(e (ell are you !oing o1er (ere, you5re "issing t(e ra**le.
('nape enters)
'NAP3: $(at (appene! in t(e gra1eyar!%
HARRY: )t-s Vol!e"ort. H3-' 4AC7.
(4lackout)
Act2 part 1
(31eryone goes o1er to #enc( an! sits Harry an! Ron enter)
34
35
HARRY: /(is totally sucks "an.
RON: (&iant Hersey-s #ar) /(is =is= (orri#le.
HARRY: /(is is (orri#le LHarry Potter 1s Vol!e"ort Kt(e *ig(t o* t(e century.
RON: )t-s not t(at Lit-s Her"ione ) can-t get (er out o* "y (ea! L 31ery ti"e ) look at (er L ) get t(ese
pains in "y c(est an! ) 9ust kno+ it-s (er *ault.
HARRY: (looking at ne+spaper) Hey "an,L) kno+ +(at you "ean < )t-s like +(en you-re trying to sa1e
t(e +orl! an! t(e +(ole +orl! is against you
RON: NO NO NO NO NO. /(is isn-t a#out you. $(y !oes e1ery con1ersation +e (a1e al+ays turn into
Potter talk
HARRY: )t-s not Potter talk.
RON: No. )-" "isera#le (points to Hers(ey-s #ar) an! all you can !o is talk a#out your sel* L You-re like
t(e "ost sel* a#sor#e! guy ) kno+ L )* you +ere "isera#le, )-! #e t(ere *or you #ut NO L you +on-t e1en
listen to "e. ) (ope you an! Vol!e"ort li1e (appily e1er a*ter #ecause )-" ne1er going to #e (appy again.
(As Ron lea1es Her"ione enters)
H3RM)ON3: $ere you 9ust talking to Ron%
HARRY: Yea(, ) +as trying to tell (i" a#out Vol!e"ort.
H3RM)ON3: $ell, !i! (e say anyt(ing a#out "e%
HARRY: :(, +ell, yea(
H3RM)ON3: $as it an apology *or (o+ (e treate! "e at t(e #all%
HARRY: Yea(, ) (ear! a#out t(at L listen (looking at paper) ) +as +on!ering i* you (ear! a little
so"et(ing a#out= Vol!e"ort is #ack, Ce!ric igory is !ea!, Pro*essor >uirrell is cra2y, an! no+ ) (a1e
to sa1e t(e +orl!. i! you (ear t(at%
H3RM)ON3: Actually, ) !i! (ear t(at. )M1e (ear! t(at a#out a t(ousan! ti"es #ut ne1er (as it #een tol! to
"e +it( so "uc( 'A'. rop t(e attitu!e Harry. You-re acting like &ar*iel! on a Mon!ay. (crosses (er
ar"s) /(is is 9ust like t(e !ragon. ) stresse! out. ) tol! you +(at to !o an! you !i!n-t !o it an! you +ere
*ine.
HARRY: Her"ione, co"e on L You-re t(e *rien! t(at-s suppose! to tell "e to go to t(e li#rary an! try
an! *igure t(is stu** out.
H3RM)ON3: $ell you kno+ +(at Harry, ) !on-t !o t(at any"ore.
(Her"ione stor"s o** an! 9oins ot(ers. raco enters stage le*t an! leans on !esk)
35
36
RACO: Rea! it an! +eep Potter L ) (ear! Vol!e"ort is #ack. (lays on !esk) An! (e-s trying to kill you.
HARRY: Mal*oy L ) !on-t see +(y you-re so (appy a#out t(is L )* Vol!e"ort is #ack, +(ic( (e is, t(en
+e "ay as +ell kiss Hog+arts goo!#ye L you "ay as +ell kiss t(e planet goo!#ye.
RACO: 7iss t(e planet goo!#ye% Ha1ing secon! t(oug(ts a#out Pig*arts, are you%
HARRY: Mal*oy, you-re t(e last person ) +ant to talk to rig(t no+ O7%
RACO: You kno+ +(at% As soon as you-re out o* t(e +ay )-ll #e t(e coolest ki! in sc(ool.
H3RM)ON3: Mal*oy, t(at +ill ne1er (appen, e1eryone (ates you.
RACO: Ok, rig(t, t(is co"ing *ro" Her"ione 'tranger.
PAN'): '(e-s cooler t(an you.
6AV3N3R: Yea(, e1en Moaning Myrtle is cooler t(an you.
'NAP3: raco, ) nee! to see you in "y o**ice= ('nape raises (is (ook) NO$.
(31eryone e8cept Harry: lea1es. Harry sits !o+n an! looks at t(e paper again. &inny Lstage le*t Leating
oritos)
HARRY: Hey &inny +(at-s up%
&)NNY: (c(e+ing) :" Harry +e !ance! at t(e Yule #all. An! ) t(oug(t +e +ere going to #e toget(er
*ore1er, #ut +e-re not.
HARRY: (still rea!ing paper) Yea( t(at pretty "uc( su"s it up.
&)NNY: $(at-s going on%
HARRY: &inny, !on-t you get it% 31eryone +(o-s near to "e is in !anger i* Vol!e"ort is #ack, an! (e
is. 'o +e can-t #e toget(er or you-! #e in "ortal peril L 9ust like t(e 'pi!er"an "o1ie, (a1en-t you seen
it% MF an! Peter Parker can-t #e toget(er.
&)NNY: 4ut t(e +(ole point o* 'pi!er"an @ is so t(at MF an! Peter are toget(er.
HARRY: Yea(, #ut t(e point o* 'pi!er"an N is t(at li*e sucks an! e1eryt(ing *alls apart. &inny +(at )-"
trying to say is t(at ) !on-t +ant "y li*e to #e like 'pi!er"an N L ) (ate! t(at "o1ie. )-" sorry Lt(at-s 9ust
"y +ay o* saying +e can-t #e toget(er. )-" sorry &inny
&)NNY: (crying) )-" suc( an i!iot. (&inny lea1es)
:M463OR3: Hey= Potter
HARRY: $(o are you%
36
37
:M463OR3: (pulls o** #ear!) L)t-s "e L u"#le!ore <<< Hey listen, Harry )-1e got so"e 1ery
i"portant t(ings )-1e got to tell you.
HARRY: A#out Vol!e"ort%
:M463OR3: Yes, it-s a#solutely crucial *or you to kno+. 4ut ) can-t get into it rig(t no+. ) nee!
you to "eet "e in "y inner o**ice at BA:AA an! ) nee! you to co"e #y yoursel*. 4ring your in1isi#ility
cloak an! !on-t go #la##ing a#out t(is to anyone. 0ro" no+ on, t(e only people you can trust are "e an!
'e1erus 'nape
HARRY: 6isten u"#le!ore, ) kno+ you !on-t +ant to (ear t(is, #ut )-" not so sure a#out 'nape L )-"
pretty sure (e-s +orking *or Vol!e"ort.
:M463OR3: $HA/% /(at-s stupi! L You-re stupi!.
HARRY: No, no )-" positi1e L t(at nig(t at t(e gra1eyar!, so"e !eat( eater cuts o** (is (an! an! 'nape
s(o+s up +it(out a (an!.
:M463OR3: $(ate1er Potter, 'nape tol! "e (e lost (is (an! in a totally unrelate! inci!ent.
HARRY: u"#le!ore L+(y !o you trust 'nape so "uc(%
:M463OR3: 4ecause ) lo1e (i".
HARRY: Pro*essor L )
:M463OR3: 3noug(. ) !on-t +ant to (ear any"ore a#out it L /(ere-s no +ay 'e1erus 'nape is,
+as, or e1er +ill #e a ser1ant o* Vol!e"ort.
Act 2 Scene 2
'NAP3: All (ail Vol!e"ort.
3A/H 3A/3R B: 'e1erus 'nape% $(at are you !oing (ere%
3A/H 3A/3R @: &ot tire! o* #eing on u"#le!ore-s lap%
'NAP3: HMMMM%
3A/H 3A/3R B: ) oug(t to 9elly leg 9in8 you rig(t no+ traitor.
'NAP3: on-t #e goo*y +it( "e L )-" (ere to see Vol!e"ort.
3A/H 3A/3R @: Ho+ !o +e kno+ t(is isn-t so"e practical 9oke #y t(e Or!er o* t(e P(oeni8%
3A/H 3A/3R B: ) (ear! you (a! your ark "ark surgically re"o1e!.
37
38
'NAP3: $ell i* you t+o kno+ so "uc( a#out "e you s(oul! +rite a #ook L 'nape, t(e ou#le AgentK
t(at-s rig(t, )-1e al+ays #een a ser1ant o* Vol!e"ort. )-1e si"ply #een +orking un!erco1er, *in!ing out
1alua#le in*or"ation like t(e roster o* t(e Or!er o* t(e P(oeni8, an! *in!ing out e8actly +(at a true
Hu**lepu** is any+ay, ) +oul! like to see "y Master.
3A/H 3A/3R B: O* course, Rig(t a+ay 'e1erus
'NAP3: &oo! L )-ll #e in t(e !ra+ing roo", painting a picture o* t(e stupi! looks on your *aces.
(Vol!e"ort leaning on c(air appears asleep an! 4ellatri8 talking as eat( eaters enter)
4366A/R)J: /(en a*ter sneaking into t(e ept o* Mysteries, +e-ll enc(ant t(e
3A/H 3A/3R B: 38cuse "e
4366A/R)J: $HOA, $HOA (pointing +an!) $(oa. 38cuse "e ) +as in t(e "i!!le o* plotting.
$(ere +as )% /(e statues +ill occupy t(e guar!s +(ile you an! ) sneak into t(e Ministers o**ice, +(ere
you +ill #e one curse a+ay *ro" co"plete control o* t(e entire $i2ar!ing +orl!. Ho+ !oes t(at soun!
My 6or!%
VO63MOR/: O(, Y3AH. &ringotts =t(at-s great.. poly9uice potion=al+ays +orks. =Very classy
(4ellatri8 looks !e9ecte!)
VO63MOR/: )-" sorry= +(at are +e talking a#out%
4366A/R)J: i! you (ear anyt(ing o* "y e1il plan
VO63MOR/: +ell, t(e !etails are a little *u22y #ut you !i! (a1e a 1ery e1il tone
4366A/R)J: He-s all yours. (e8its)
VO63MOR/: 4ellatri8 co"e #ack, !on-t #e like t(at= No+ @ people are "a! at "e. $(at%
3A/H 3A/3R @: 'ir, 'e1erus 'nape is at t(e !oor an! +ants to see you
VO63MOR/: 'ee (i" in.
('nape "akes a gran! entrance)
'NAP3: )s t(at a ne+ #o!y My 6or!% You look a#solutely ra1is(ing.
VO63MOR/: 'e1erus, *or suc( a super secret spy Lyou-re a terri#le liar. )-" a +reck= You #etter
(a1e so"e goo! ne+s.
'NAP3: My 6or!, you kno+ (o+ *or years +e-1e #een trying to get t(e !eat( eaters into Hog+arts
('nape (ooks Vol!e"ort +it( (an!) $e-1e #een trying to get eat( 3aters into Hog+arts an! ) t(ink
)-1e *inally !isco1ere! a +ay to !o it.
38
39
VO63MOR/: $ell #y all "eans 'nape, tell "e.
'NAP3: ) can-t.
VO63MOR/: Can-t= /3A'3. $(y not%
'NAP3: ) "a!e an un#reaka#le 1o+ not to let any !eat( eaters in.
VO63MOR/: :n#reaka#le 1o+s L ) HA/3 t(ose
'NAP3: ) kno+ #ut ) (a! to !o it to con1ince u"#le!ore ) +as relia#le.
VO63MOR/: Yes 'nape ) un!erstan! L+ell +(at !o you propose +e !o no+%
'NAP3: $ell, ) can-t tell you #ut ) #roug(t along so"eone +(o can.
(raco enters roo")
RACO: All (ail 6or! Vol!e"ort
(Vol!e"ort laug(s)
VO63MOR/: 6ucius Malloys- #oy. Are you serious%.
RACO: Mal*oy, MA60OY
VO63MOR/: (6aug(ing) Help *ro" a c(il!, you-1e got to #e ki!!ing "e on-t "ake "e laug( L)-"
pissing.
RACO: )* t(is (o"e"a!e !ark "ark +on-t con1ince you t(en P63A'3 (ear "e out
VO63MOR/: (continuing to laug() Ok <O O7 O7 Ho+ !o you propose you get "y eat( 3aters
into your little sc(ool% An! !on-t suggest a giant sli!e or a tra"poline, #ecause +e-1e alrea!y trie! t(ose.
RACO: /(e 1ents L Your !eat( eaters s(all enter t(roug( t(e 1entilation syste" o* Hog+arts
VO63MOR/: :H. /(e 1ents. Ho+ !o +e *in! t(ese 1ents%
RACO: )-ll tell you (o+ to get to t(e 1ents #ut *irst (raco !rops to t(e groun! #esi!e t(e !esk <<<< t(en
stan!ing) $e !iscuss t(e su#9ect o* pay"ent
VO63MOR/: A Catc( L /(ere-s al+ays a catc(. )s t(ere not(ing in t(is +orl! so cruel an! !e"an!ing
as t(e soul o* a c(il!% $(at !o you +ant Malloy%
RACO: ) +ant a gala8y tra1ersing rocket s(ip +it( enoug( *uel to get "e to Mars.
VO63MOR/: $(at !o you +ant +it( a rocket s(ip% $(at #usiness !o you (a1e on Mars%
39
40
RACO: 6et-s 9ust say ("usic starts) Pig*arts Pig*arts Here ) co"e, Pig*arts Pig*arts Y:M Y:M Y:M
'NAP3: $it( all respect "y 6or!, t(ere-s one tiny *la+ in t(at *la+less plan. Al#us u"#le!ore.
VO63MOR/: AHHH you-re rig(t 'nape Nor"ally, )-! say L )-ll kill (i", #ut ) (a1en-t #een *eeling
so e1il lately
(raco pats Vol!e"ort on s(oul!er an! t(en ;uickly pulls (is (an! a+ay)
VO63MOR/: 'o (ere-s (o+ it-s going to #reak no+ Malloy. ) nee! your guarantee t(at you lea! "y
!eat( eaters into Hog+arts. $(ile si"ultaneously +e-ll #e attacking t(e "inistry o* "agic. No+ ) nee!
you to pro"ise #y t(e en! o* t(e siege o* Hog+arts t(at u"#le!ore +ill #e !ea!.
RACO: $e s(all s(ake on it L an un#reaka#le 1o+ (#ot( spit in (an!s an! s(ake)
VO63MOR/: 4y t(e en! o* to"orro+ nig(t Al#us u"#le!ore +ill #e !ea!%
RACO: Yes an! )-ll (a1e "y rocket s(ip.
VO63MOR/: $(en t(e tec(nology is a1aila#le.
RACO: (still s(aking Vol!e"ort-s (an! L;uickly says) An! you (a1e to #e "y sla1e *or a +(ole !ay
starting no+. (Vol!e"ort 9erks a+ay an! yells)
VO63MOR/: You little Ferk.... (pointing at raco) You got "e LYou &O/ M3.. O( t(at is so
e"#arrassing (raco an! 'nape are clapping an! laug(ing) O(, t(at-s t(e @
n!
ti"e t(at t(at-s
(appene!. /(at-s +(y ) (ate un#reaka#le curses.
RACO: O( t(ere-s se1eral t(ings )-" going to (a1e you !o L You-re going to clean "y roo" an! lay
out "y knickers an! tape $i2ar!s o* $a1erly Place *or "e.
VO63MOR/: ) (ate c(ores.
RACO: )-ll #e #usy +it( a "ur!er.
Act 2 Scene 3
(Harry an! Her"ione enter)
H3RM)ON3: Any i!ea +(y u"#le!ore +ante! to "eet us so late at nig(t%
HARRY: He-s got so"e in*or"ation to gi1e us a#out Vol!e"ort i! you #ring t(e in1isi#ility Cloak%
RON: Alrig(t Harry t(is #etter #e goo!, #ecause ) !on-t (a1e a snack an! )-" "issing $i2ar!s o*
$a1erly Place *or t(is Ok% 'o +(at are +e going to !o t(at-s so !ang=O( "y gos( (as #an! "e"#er
gi1es Ron t+i22lers) ) lo1e Re!1ines you +ant one
HARRY: ) lo1e t(e" (Harry eats a re!1ine)
40
41
H3RM)ON3: )-" lea1ing
HARRY: NOOOOO you-re not L+(en ) sai! ) nee!e! your (elp L) "eant #ot( o* you Lyou guys (a1e to
get o1er t(ese #a! *eelings #e*ore so"e#o!y gets (urt (Harry knocks on !oor)
:M463OR3: Hey Harry Lang it L ) tol! you to co"e #y yoursel* L+(y !i! you (a1e to #ring t(e
*atties%
HARRY: /(ese are "y #est *rien!s an! i* t(is in*or"ation is as i"portant as you say it is Lt(ey (a1e a
rig(t to kno+
:M463OR3: $ell, )-1e #een +rong #e*ore Lget in (ere Hot 6egs (as e1eryone *ollo+s (i") ) +as
talking to $easley. (38it, re<enter) 'orry t(e place is suc( a sty. (0ra"e! p(oto o* Iac 3*ron)
RON: O( "y gos( L/(at-s a #oss Ie*ron poster.
:M463OR3: 31ery inter1ie+ )-1e e1er seen +it( (i" L (e see"s like suc( a c(aris"atic
(u"anitarian
HARRY: You t(ink you like (i", +rong L ) like (i" t(e "ost Harry Potter lo1es Iac 3*ron #etter t(an
anyone else on t(e planet. Any+ay t(at-s not +(at +e-re (ere to talk a#out. $e-re (ere to talk a#out
Vol!e"ort.
:M463OR3: $e-re not (ere to talk a#out Iac 3*ron cause e1ery#o!y kno+s ) like (i" t(e "ost.
$e-re (ere to talk a#out t(e !ark 6or!. )n or!er to !e*eat t(is guy you-re going to (a1e to kno+ a#out
Horcru8es.
H3RM)ON3, RON an! HARRY: (all at sa"e ti"e) $(at-s a (orcru8%
:M463OR3: A Horcru8 is one o* t(e "ost terri*ying pieces o* "agic t(at a +i2ar! can create. )t
(appens +(en a +i2ar! takes a piece o* (is soul an! puts it into so"et(ing else.
HARRY: $(y +oul! so"eone +ant to !o t(at%
:M463OR3: Harry i* you (a1e a Horcru8 you can ne1er truly !ie. Your #o!y can #e !ea! #ut your
soul can "o1e on. He !i!n-t 9ust (a1e 9ust one (orcru8, (e (a! H (orcru8es. )-1e alrea!y kille! t(e *irst E
*or you #ut you guys (a1e to *in! t(e last one an! !estroy it +it( t(is.
(Ron t(ro+s can!y !o+n Lall t(ree are e8a"ining t(e s+or!)
H3RM)ON3: /(e s+or! o* &ry**in!or. &o!ric &ry**in!or +as one o* t(e ? *oun!ers o* Hog+arts. )*
anyt(ing can !estroy a (orcru8, t(at t(ing is it.
RON: /(is t(ing is so !ang a+eso"e. 31ery +i2ar! s(oul! (a1e a s+or! like t(is L not t(ese stupi!
!ru"sticks. 0orget a#out it <<< (Ron starts practice s+or! *ig(ting)
HARRY: Alrig(t so +e kno+ +(at a (orcru8 is, #ut (o+ !o +e *in! t(e"% $(ere-s t(e last one%
41
42
:M463OR3: /o *in! t(e" +e nee! to use t(is +(ic( looks like a piece o* 46)N& #ut it-s really a
(orcru8 seeking "e!allion (Ron takes t(e necklace LD$O$ an! starts s+inging it aroun! like (e
!i! +(en s+or! *ig(ting)
H3RM)ON3: 'o i* (e (as t(is "e!allion, t(en +(y are Ron an! ) e1en (ere%
RON: Yea( Vol!e"ort isn-t any o* our #usiness.
:M463OR3: (agitate!) Her"ione &rainger L +(at are you t(inking% on-t you kno+ t(at i* one o*
you (as a pro#le" t(en all o* you (as a pro#le" <<< +(at +oul! Iac 3*ron say at a ti"e like t(is ('ings )
$e-re all in t(is toget(er.. (Pause *or "usic) Any+ay, you gotta *in! t(e (orcru8es an! !estroy t(e" L
t(at-s all t(ere is to it. (Noise o**stage) O(, it "ust #e t(e !eat( eaters co"ing to kill "e L ki!s put your
#ear!s on.
H3RM)ON3: $e !on-t (a1e #ear!s HARRY: $e #roug(t
t(e in1isi#ility cloak :M463OR3: O( alrig(t Lput t(e
in1isi#ility cloak on.
(Ron, Harry an! Her"ione all get un!er t(e in1isi#ility cloak eat( eaters enter)
3A/H 3A/3R B: Hey are you u"#le!ore%
:M463OR3: NOOOO. 'ee )-1e got t(is #ear! on.
3A/H 3A/3R @: Alrig(t e1ery#o!y sprea! out an! look *or u"#le!ore
(eat( eater-s look all aroun!)
3A/H 3A/3R N: He-s got to #e (ere so"e+(ere
:M463OR3: 4e care*ul +it( t(e Iac 3*ron poster Lit-s an anti;ue.
3A/H 3A/3R B: $(y !o you care so "uc( a#out Ie*ron%
:M463OR3: ) 9ust appreciate (is c(ar". An! (is (air
HARRY: Yea(, #ut e1ery#o!y kno+s ) like (i" #est
(eat( eaters look aroun! roo")
3A/H 3A/3R B: $(o sai! t(at%
3A/H 3A/3R N: ) +is( ) coul! say t(at it +as "e L#ecause ) *eel ) lo1e Iac 3*ron t(e "ost. 4ut it +as
!e*initely a 1oice *ro" +it(in t(is roo"
3A/H 3A/3R @: $as it an in1isi#le "an%
42
43
3A/H 3A/3R N: Coul! t(e pre!ator #e in t(e roo"%
3A/H 3A/3R B: 4egin )NV)')463 MAN searc( (t(e !eat( eaters sprea! ar"s out an! start *eeling
aroun!)
:M463OR3: (Re"o1es #ear!) )t-s "e Lit-s u"#le!ore.
3A/H 3A/3R B: u"#le!ore L+(ere-! you co"e *ro"%
:M463OR3: /(e "an +it( t(e #ear! turne! "e in.
3A/H 3A/3R @: No+ +e-1e got you rig(t +(ere +e +ant you.
:M463OR3: Yes #ut +(at ) !on-t un!erstan! is (o+%
3A/H 3A/3R N: $3 (a! t(e (elp o* a "an on t(e insi!e L so"eone you truste! Lso"eone you "ay
(a1e e1en lo1e!,
:M463OR3: A#er*ort( "y #rot(er%%
(raco enters roo")
RACO: NO. )t +as "e.
:M463OR3: Mal*oy Lyou little 9erk.
RACO: /(at-s rig(t u"#le!oreK) #etraye! e1eryone. An! no+ )-" going to kill you
:M463OR3: O(, no you-re not Lraco i* you +ere going to kill "e you +oul! (a1e alrea!y !one it
RACO: No, not necessarily true. No ) 9ust +ante! to o**er you one "ore ga"e o* Connect ? #e*ore ) o*t
you.
:M463OR3: You kno+ raco, t(ere are ot(er options. )t-s ti"e you looke! insi!e yoursel* an!
*igure out +(at you really +ant.
RACO: ) +ant Her"ione &rainger (really *ast) an! a rocket s(ip.
:M463OR3: /(en +(y !i!n-t you 9ust take t(e girl out *or a (appy "eal or take (er to space ca"p%
Co"e on. Mur!er lea!s to !espair an! !esperation. ) kno+ you-re going to !o t(e rig(t t(ing
('nape enters)
'NAP3: $(at t(e !e1il is going on (ere%
3A/H 3A/3R B: $e-1e got u"#le!ore corne!
'NAP3: $ell, +(at are you +aiting *or% 7ill (i" L !o it raco
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44
RACO: $ell, ) !on-t t(ink ) can
'NAP3: CO$AR BA points *ro" &ry**in!or.
:M463OR3: ) !on-t un!erstan! L ) ga1e you "y letter"an-s 9acket
'NAP3: )t ne1er *it. (Points +an! at u in "enacing +ay)
:M463OR3: $(y !i!n-t you tell "e L ) coul! (a1e s(runk it +it( "agic 'e1erus please !on-t kill
"e
'NAP3: A1a!a ca!a1ra.
(eat( eaters an! 'nape cele#rate; 6ig(ts go out, t(en co"e up a*ter !eat( eaters e8it)
HARRY: ) (ate (i" ) (ate (i" L)-" going to kill (i".
H3RM)ON3: )t-s not your *ault Harry.
HARRY: )t is "y *ault L31ery#o!y-s !ying #ecause o* "e LB
st
Ce!ric no+ u"#le!ore ) can-t !o it
any"ore.
RON: Co"e on Llet-s go to t(e 4oroug(.
HARRY: No !on-t you get it% ) (a1e to !o t(is #y "ysel* L ) !i! it once as a #a#y ) can-t (a1e you guys
near "e You-re at risk
H3RM)ON3: $e !on-t care a#out t(e risk.
HARRY: NO you !on-t un!erstan!. You (a1e to get a+ay *ro" "e.
RON: You can-t "ean t(at.
HARRY: ) !o L Fust lea1e "e alone (Harry runs o**, #lackout)
Act 2 Scene 5
(Harry is setting stage center an! &inny enters *ro" stage le*t)
&)NNY: Harry%
HARRY: &inny +(at are you !oing (ere L you (a1e to get out o* (ere
&)NNY: ) can-t Lt(ere-s no+(ere to go Lt(e eat( 3aters are all o1er t(e castle
HARRY: Yea( an! t(ey-re looking *or "e an! i* t(ey *in! "e an! you-re +it( "e Lyou-re going to #e in
trou#le.
44
45
&)NNY: $(at are you going to !o%
HARRY: ) !on-t kno+ &inny, )-" not cut out *or t(is kin! o* t(ing.
&)NNY: No you (a1e to !o so"et(ing L you-re Harry Potter.
HARRY: No.
&)NNY: You-re t(e #oy +(o li1e!.
HARRY: No you !on-t get it. None o* you guys get it L )-" 9ust a B@ yr ol! ki!. &inny, )-" sorry L )-"
alone an! it-s (opeless.
$I../1
Ive been alone
surrounded by darkness
and Ive seen how heartless
the world can be
)nd Ive seen you crying
you felt like its hopeless
Ill always do my best
to make you see
+hat #arry, youre not alone
cause youre here with me
and nothings ever gonna bring us down
cause nothing can keep me from lovin you
and you know its true
it dont matter whatll come to be
our love is all we need to make it through
.ow I know it aint easy
6#)**/1 .o it aint easy8
%ut it aint hard trying
6#)**/1 its so hard trying8
every time I see you smiling
and I feel you so close to me
tell me
$I../ > #)**/1
+hat baby youre not alone
cause youre here with me
and nothings ever gonna bring us down
cause nothing can keep me from lovin you
and you know its true
it dont matter whatll come to be
our love is all we need to make it through
#)**/1
45
46
.ow I still have trouble
I trip and stumble
trying to make sense of things sometimes
I look for reasons
but I dont need em
all I need is to look in your eyes
and I reali&e
RON: Hey Harry.
HARRY: You guys ca"e #ack.
#)**/, *'., #2*!I'.2, > $I../1
%aby youre not alone
cause youre here with me
and nothings ever gonna bring us down
cause nothing can keep me from lovin you
and you know its true
it dont matter whatll come to be
our love is all we need to make it through
HARRY: )-" so gla! you guys ca"e #ack.
H3RM)ON3: No+ t(at +e got t(at ? part (ar"ony out o* t(e +ay, +(y !on-t +e go look *or t(at
Horcru8%
HARRY: Yea(, let-s !o it.
RON: $ell, it coul! #e any+(ere. )* ) (a! a (orcru8, ) +oul! #last it into space +it( a "onkey +(o kne+
not(ing a#out (orcru8es.
H3RM)ON3: Or it coul! #e (i!!en so"e+(ere aroun! t(e "un!ane 4ritis( countrysi!e. Our searc(
coul! entail "ont(s o* #reaking into &ringotts an! !rinking #oatloa!s o* poly9uice potion.
HARRY: $ell, t(e "e!allion says t(at-s !u"# so +e-re not going to !o t(at. )t !oes say it-s in one
con1enient place, get t(is, Hog+arts.
RON: $ell, t(at-s a+eso"e.
HARRY: 31en #etter it says it-s in u"#le!ore-s o**ice, so let-s go. $ait a secon!, (o+ !i! you get
(ere% /(ere-s eat( eaters all o1er Hog+arts.
&)NNY: /A A......
(raco enters)
HARRY: MA60OY.
46
47
(&inny stan!ing #y Mal*oy Lall ot(ers on ot(er si!e pointing +an!s at Mal*oy)
&)NNY: No No L (e-s really nice no+.
RACO: ) 9ust +ante! to say L t(at +as a really nice song you sang. May#e i* you !o a reprise ) coul!
(a1e a go at it. As &inny sai!, )-" really nice no+ an! ) 9ust *eel a+*ul a#out +(at (appene!. 4ut coul!
you argue t(at t(is +as "y *ault%
RON an! HARRY: Yes L a#solutely yes.
RACO: Yes L +ell, t(at +oul! #e a sa*e argu"ent. 4ut let "e ask you one ;uestion. o you t(ink )-"
(appy a#out t(is%
RON: O( "y &o! Mal*oy, 9ust #ecause you-re upset !oesn-t "ean you-re o** t(e (ook
HARRY: Mal*oy, !o you +ant to kick your o+n ass or s(oul! +e !o it *or you%
RACO: $ell, ) guess i* you-re gi1ing "e t(e option, ) guess )-ll kick "y o+n, t(ank you. 4ut *irst, )
s(oul! teac( you (o+ to get into u"#le!ore-s o**ice. )t-s ironically t(e sa"e +ay t(e eat( 3aters got
in.
H3RM)ON3: Alrig(t L +(y !on-t you #oys (ea! o** to u"#le!ore-s o**ice. &inny an! ) +ill take t(e
in1isi#ility cloak an! +e +ill see i* +e can contact t(e Or!er o* t(e P(oeni8, +e really (a1en-t seen t(e"
t(e +(ole play.
(raco is trying to pat Ron an! Harry on #ack)
HARRY: /(at-s a goo! i!ea. on-t touc( people. Ok, let-s go.
RON: Hey Her"ione<<< co"e (ere a secon!, co"e !o+nstage. Hey listen, u", u(, 'nap, alrig(t. )-1e
#een acting like a real 9erk lately, ) t(ink you kno+ t(at. An! )-" sorry. )t-s 9ust seeing you !ance +it(
e1eryone at t(e Yule #all kin!a "a!e "e 9ealous L yea( ) +as 9ealous.
H3RM)ON3: You +ere 9ealous%
RON: /(at-s t(e N
r!
ti"e )-1e sai! L ) +as 9ealous.
H3RM)ON3: Ron, +e !on-t really (a1e to talk a#out t(is rig(t no+.
(/(ey get closer #ut stop an! Ron sprays #reat( spray in Her"ione-s "out()
RON: )t-s #lue#erry
H3RM)ON3 ) can tell
(/(en as t(ey start to get close enoug( to kiss L Ron 9erks #ack an! says DO(, it-s :ngo!ly;Ron
t(en gi1es Her"ione gu" an! t(en says D/ake @ as (e puts t(e gu" in (er "out()
RON: You c(e+ it. (Ron takes a sni**) A+eso"e. (/(ey kiss) 6et-s go kill Vol!e"ort.
47
48
Act 2 Scene 6
(Ron Harry an! raco go into u"#le!ore-s o**ice an! Ron is +iel!ing t(e s+or! L raco picks up t(e
p(oto o* Ie*ron.)
RACO: o you #ot( see t(e Ie*ron poster%
RON: Yea( Mal*oy, +e kno+ a#out it.
(raco touc(es Iac(-s (ea!)
HARRY: 6isten raco Lit-s not t(at #ig a !eal Lcoul! you 9ust (elp us look *or t(e (orcru8 please%
RON: )s t(is t(ing o* pencils a (orcru8
(Harry points necklace at it)
HARRY: No
(raco an! Ron continue to pull 1arious o#9ects out an! say Dis t(is a (orcru8% an! HARRY: says
Dno)
RON: :::::&HHHHH /(is coul! take *ore1er Lt(ere are so "any t(ings in t(is roo". /(e only t(ing
o* real 1alue L is t(at Ie*ron poster.
HARRY: $ait a secon!. You !on-t t(ink.
(/(ey all look at t(e poster HARRY: Hol!s poster up an! Vol!e"ort-s *ace appears t(roug( t(e opening
+(ere Iac-s *ace +as. /(ey all screa" an! run a+ay an! t(en point '+or!, +an! etc at Vol!e"ort,
raco is (anging on to Ron-s leg)
HARRY: Ron L kill it L kill it Lit-s t(e last (orcru8.
RACO: No, its Ie*ron.
RON: 4ut it-s so c(aris"atic...
VO63MOR/: )-" not your ene"y. Potter is t(e ene"y.
RON: Harry is "y *rien!.
VO63MOR/: You gotta get your (ea! in t(e ga"e $easley. (Ron is s(aking (is (ea! trying not to
listen) He +ill #etray you L (e +ill take t(at +(ic( you +ant t(e "ost.
HARRY: Hey Ron !on-t listen to (i" L (e-s lying.
VO63MOR/: ) kno+ your *aults ) kno+ +(at you truly !esire (Her"ione s(o+s up in picture *ra"e)
48
49
H3RM)ON3: As long as Harry-s aroun! L you-ll al+ays #e secon! #est. 4ut i* Harry +ere gone L t(en
+e coul! #e toget(er *ore1er.
RON: 4ut Harry-s "y *rien!.
H3RM)ON3: 4ut !on-t you +ant "e Ron, !on-t ya%
RON: Yes.
H3RM)ON3: on-t ya +ant "e Ron
RON: Yes.
H3RM)ON3: /(en you kno+ +(at you gotta !o.
RON: Yes L ) "ust kill Harry (Ron starts to "o1e like a ro#ot (or in a trance) (ea!ing to+ar! Harry on
t(e *loor)
HARRY: No Ron L it-s a trick L !on-t listen to (er. 'top it L 6isten Her"ione is one o* "y #est *rien!s,
) +oul! ne1er !o anyt(ing to (urt you or (er. (Ron (as s+or! raise! (ig( an! rea!y to strike)
H3RM)ON3: 6)3' L /(ey are all 6)3'
HARRY: Ron it-s not true L you-re "y #est *rien!. (!ru"s #uil!ing L Ron turns an! (its t(e poster L
Her"ione !rops it an! runs a+ay; Ron continues (itting poster)
HARRY: o it again.
(Ron !rops to groun! e8(auste!, reac(es up on !esk an! get !onuts an! starts eating t(e", raco picks
up poster)
RACO: Put so"e tape on t(is Lits *ine.
HARRY: Ron, you (a! "e going t(ere *or a "inute #u!!y
RON: O(, yea( sorry a#out t(at pal. )t-s 9ust e1eryt(ing s(e +as saying an! ) coul!n-t. ) +oul! ne1er !o
anyt(ing to (urt you. ) lo1e you "an
HARRY: ) lo1e you too "an. (/(ey (ug an! raco tries to get in on t(e (ug L Ron pus(es raco a+ay)
RACO: 6isten C(aps, as *un as t(is +as, ) t(oug(t !estroying t(e (orcru8 +as going to #e a lot (ar!er.
RON C HARRY: Yea(
RON: $(en you t(ink a#out it L Horcru8es are 9ust kin!a stupi!.
(4ellatri8 an! se1eral eat( eaters (a1e &inny an! Her"ione #y t(e (air an! are running into t(e roo"
+it( (er. All s+or!s an! +an!s are out)
49
50
RACO: &inny, (o+ !i! you get capture!% You +ere in1isi#le
H3RM)ON3: 'orry.
4366A/R)J: o it Potter an! t(ey !ie.
HARRY: 6ooks like +e-1e got our #acks up against t(e +all +it( no+(ere to go. Put your s+or!s !o+n
an! +an!s.
4366A/R)J: A(, look at little #itty Harry Potter, gi1ing or!ers to (is little #itty #a#y *rien!s.
HARRY: )-" not a #a#y )-" B@.
('nape enters)
'NAP3: $(at t(e !e1il is going on (ere% $(oa L !P9Q 1ue.
4366A/R)J: $e (a1e Potter an! (is *rien!s at last.
RON: u"#le!ore truste! you.
HARRY: You-re a #ig *at traitor 'nape.
'NAP3: O( a traitor a" )% Potter, you-re e8actly rig(t #ecause )-" a#out to #etray so"eone. Rig(t
no+. ('nape cuts le*t (an! o** t(e closest eat( 3ater)
(Mass yelling; ot(er eat( eater !rops to groun! L Her"ione an! &inny run to Ron an! HARRY:)
'NAP3: 4at #ogey (e8 (pointe! at last !eat( eater, +(o t(en runs aroun! *lapping (is +ings)
4366A/R)J: 'erpents sorcia. (curse so"eone !rops a snake #y 'nape +(o picks it up an! yells)
4366A/R)J: (pointing at Harry, etc) on-t e1en t(ink a#out it unless you +ant a snake too.
(Molly $easley enters stage le*t)
4366A/R)J: $(o t(e (ell are you%
MO66Y: )-" Molly $easley an! t(ose are "y ki!s. A1a!a ca!a1ra=$)/CH.
(4ellatri8 *alls !o+n !ea!)
RON: (Ron an! &inny run to t(eir "o" an! (ug (er) Holy crap. You kille! (er L ) t(oug(t you +ere 9ust
going to "ake (er tuck in (er s(irt or !o t(e !is(es.
(A*ter a #ig (ug LMolly #ops t(e" on t(e #ack o* t(e (ea! an! t(ey #ot( "oan)
MO66Y: esperate ti"es call *or !esperate "easures L e1en t(e un*orgi1ea#le can #e *orgi1en.
50
51
&)NNY: $(at are you !oing (ere%
MO66Y: ) ca"e (ere +it( t(e or!er o* t(e P(oeni8, 6upin, /onks, Ma!<eye Moo!y, 'irius 4lack an!
your #rot(er 0re!.
RON: O(, great. $(ere are t(ey%
MO66Y: /(ey-re all !ea!. Any+ay, ) 9ust ca"e (ere to sa1e your li1es, go #ack to +(at you +ere !oing
(s(e *i8es Ron-s collar, opens !oor an! #lo+s t(e" a kiss ) )''APARA/3.
Act 2 Scene 7
('nape is on groun! +it( snake, Ron an! &inny are stunne!, Harry rus(es to 'nape on groun!)
HARRY: 'nape, 'nape L 38pellia"us.
(Ron runs o1er an! sto"ps on snake an! says D)3, )3.)
H3RM)ON3: Ron, t(at-s a coral snake an! e1eryone kno+s t(at a coral snake is 1ery poisonous
'NAP3: )t-s too late *or "e no+ L 4e*ore ) go, ) nee! to tell you, t(ere is anot(er Horcru8 ('nape is in
Harry-s ar"s an! raco an! &inny are on t(e groun! #esi!e t(e")
H3RM)ON3: Ho+ can t(at #e% All H (a1e #een !estroye!.
'NAP3: No, NO L /(ere-s a se1ent(.
RON: &ee ) really (ope it-s not an As(ley /is!ale poster, ) coul!n-t !eal +it( t(at.
'NAP3: /(e Me!allion.
HARRY: 4ut it !oesn-t say anyt(ing. ((ol!ing it up)
'NAP3: /(en gi1e it to &ranger.
H3RM)ON3: )t says t(ere-s one rig(t (ere, #ut ) !on-t un!erstan!.
'NAP3: Harry, t(e nig(t Vol!e"ort kille! your parents, (e trie! to !estroy you #ut instea! (is #o!y +as
!estroye!. $(en t(at (appene!, a part o* (is soul +as #laste! a+ay an! attac(e! itsel*= to you.
Vol!e"ort can ne1er truly !ie until all t(e (orcru8es (a1e #een !estroye!.
H3RM)ON3: 4ut i* Harry-s a (orcru8, t(en !oes Harry (a1e to #e !estroye!% /(ere-s got to #e anot(er
+ay.
'NAP3: No Potter, )-ll s(o+ you +(at you (a1e to !o. $atc(=1ery=care*ully. ('nape !rops !ea! an!
e1eryone is stunne!)
RACO: He !i!n-t e1en !o anyt(ing.
51
52
HARRY: /(at-s #ecause (e-s !ea!.
(Vol!e"ort enters stage le*t an! taps t(e stage +it( +an!)
VO63MOR/: People o* Hog+arts, My eat( 3aters (a1e taken o1er t(e castle an! your (ea!"aster
u"#le!ore is !ea!. You-1e all *oug(t 1aliantly an! )-" +illing to o**er you positions in "y ne+ +orl!
or!er (asi!e) as "y sla1es. (/o e1eryone) &i1e up no+ an! #e *orgi1en. No+, Harry Potter ) speak
!irectly to you. )* you !o not +is( *or t(ose closest to you to su**er an! !ie on your #e(al*, you +ill co"e
*ace "e yoursel*. )-ll #e +aiting *or you in t(e 0or#i!!en 0orest *or one (our. Vol!e"ort out $itc(es.
('tage le*t lig(ts out)
H3RM)ON3: $ell, ok, guys !on-t +orry, +e still (a1e an (our, an! +e 9ust nee! to co"e up +it( a plan.
HARRY: /(ere-s no plan Her"ione, ) kno+ +(at ) (a1e to !o L ) (a1e to !ie.
&)NNY: No no NO NO. /(ere-s got to #e anot(er +ay.
HARRY: No no 9ust *orget a#out it. /(ere-s only one t(ing to !o (picking up in1isi#ility cloak) ) (a1e to
!ie. ) lo1e you all L e8cept you raco L) can-t *reaking stan! you.(raco-s (ea! goes !o+n, !e9ecte!ly)
&oo!#ye.
RON an! H3RM)ON3: Harry.
(lig(ts go out; "usic starts; piano #uil!ing to crescen!o; eat( 3aters an! Vol!e"ort are onstage)
3A/H 3A/3R B: He-s not co"ing "y 6or!.
VO63MOR/: )t see"s t(at +ay, $ell eat( 3aters, it see"s +e-re going #ack to sei2e t(e castle. /(is
is +(at Potter (as c(osen. )t-s *unny, ) e8pecte! (i" to co"e. )t see"s ) +as "istaken.
(HARRY: t(ro+s o** in1isi#ility cloak an! +alks onstage)
HARRY: You +eren-t.
VO63MOR/: Harry Potter= t(e #oy +(o li1e!. (Points +an!) Crucio. (Harry Lcon1ulsing on groun!)
You-re not e1en going to *ig(t #ack% (V gro+ls) You-re +eak 9ust like your parents. Prepare to 9oin
t(e" PR3PAR3=/O )3. A1a!a ca!a1ra (HARRY: lies still)
3A/H 3A/3R': Yea(. You-1e !one it "y lor!, Potter is !ea!. No one +ill e1er ;uestion your po+ers
again.
VO63MOR/: Y3'.
3A/H 3A/3R @: oes t(is please you "y lor!% (Vol!e"ort +alks aroun! Harry-s #o!y)
VO63MOR/: Yea(, (pause) yea(, it-s great. ) 9ust t(oug(t it "ig(t "ake "e less e"pty insi!e. $ell
(as (e +alks o1er to eat( eaters) +e go #ack to Hog+arts to tell t(e" +(at (as #eco"e o* t(eir (ero
(4lackout)
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Act 2 Scene 8
(u"#le!ore on #enc(, Harry on groun!)
:M463OR3: Hey Harry.
HARRY: u"#le!ore= +(ere a" )% ) t(oug(t ) +as !ea!.
:M463OR3: 6et-s 9ust say you are so"e+(ere #et+een our +orl! an! t(eirs.
HARRY: $(at% i! ) sur1i1e%
:M463OR3: )t +oul!n-t #e t(e *irst ti"e Potter. /ake a seat.
HARRY: Alrig(t
:M463OR3: Harry, (a1e you e1er (ear! o* a lo1e s(iel!%
HARRY: :(, no #ut it soun!s kin!a *ruity.
:M463OR3: A lo1e s(iel! is anyt(ing #ut *ruity it-s +(en so"e#o!y lo1es you so "uc( t(at i* t(ey
+ere +illing to gi1e t(eir li*e *or you. /(en t(eir lo1e #eco"es a s(iel! aroun! your #o!y to protect you
*ro" any !ark "agic.
HARRY: 'o, is t(at +(at (appene! to "e% ) (a1e a lo1e s(iel!%
:M463OR3: Harry it-s ti"e *or you to learn all t(e t(ings you s(oul! (a1e kno+n R years ago,
+(ic( +oul! (a1e (elpe! you along t(e +ay. (u"#le!ore s(o+s Harry t(e pa! o* paper +it( t(ese ite"s
on it) /(e lo1e s(iel! protecte! you t(e *irst ti"e. Vol!e"ort acci!ently turne! you into t(e R
t(
(orcru8,
one t(at not e1en (e kne+ a#out. An! +(en Vol!e"ort trie! killing you t(is ti"e, (e +as actually
unkno+ingly killing t(e piece o* (i"sel* t(at +as insi!e you. An!, )-1e kno+n t(e +(ole ti"e.
HARRY: You kne+ t(is +(ole ti"e, you 9erk.
:M463OR3: Hey t(ey !on-t call "e t(e greatest +i2ar! +(o e1er li1e! *or not(ing. (u"#le!ore
stan!ing) Harry it-s ti"e *or you to get your little #utt #ack t(ere an! *ig(t (i" as a "ortal "an. 38cept
t(is ti"e, (e +ill #e a "ortal "an too.
HARRY: ) get +(at you-re saying L ) kno+ +(at ) (a1e to !o. (+alking a+ay L turns #ack) Hey #e*ore )
go='o you-re clair1oyant no+, you can see t(e past, t(e present an! t(e *uture%
:M463OR3: Yes ) can.
HARRY: Can you e8plain t(at +eir! en!ing to 6ost%
:M463OR3: Harry, t(ere are so"e ;uestions t(at e1en ) cannot ans+er.
HARRY: /(anks "an.
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:M463OR3: No pro#le". Hey, get outta (ere. N
r!
!oor on your le*t.
R:M463ROAR: Are you rea!y to lea1e u"#le!ore (cra+ling into roo")%
:M463OR3: 'ure a".
R:M463ROAR: An! you-re sure you !on-t +ant to let Harry Potter kno+ t(at you-re really still ali1e%
:M463OR3: O(, no. Pig*arts (as #een a closely guar!e! secret *or t(ousan!s o* years L it sure
+oul! #e a s(a"e to let t(e cat out o* t(e #ag. No pun inten!e!. (u"#le!ore cli"#s on (is #ack) Are
you rea!y to go%
R:M463ROAR: ) sure a". /o Pig*arts. R:M463ROAR....
(4lackout; Vol!e"ort is center stage +it( (is +an! an! taps *loor again)
VO63MOR/: People o* Hog+arts, it-s "e. Harry Potter is !ea!K(e +as kille! +(ile running a+ay
trying to sa1e (is li*e +(ile you lai! !o+n your li1es *or (i". Continue to resist an! #e slaug(tere!.
Co"e out o* t(e castle, kneel #e*ore "e an! you "ay #e spare!.
(31ery one sitting on #enc( an! *loor; Ron is stan!ing in center)
RON: You guys L #arrica!e t(e !oor Ltake t(e #enc( L !o it rig(t no+. (/(ey start taking #enc( o1er to
!oor)You (C(o C(ang) see i* Ne1ille-s !ea!. You guys (pointing to se1eral o* t(e") go get snacks. O(,
s(oot, +e can-t +e 9ust #arrica!e! t(e !oor. $ell t(ere-s only one t(ing le*t to !o L+e-re going to *ig(t.
RACO: (on *loor +it( legs e8ten!e! in *ront o* (i") O(, co"e on. )-" tire!. (t(ro+s (i"sel* on *loor)
Can-t +e 9ust #e !eat( eaters%
RON: No, (+alking o1er to raco) No +e can-t 9ust #e !eat( eaters. O7% (7icks at raco-s leg, raco
starts getting up) $e-re going to *ig(t an! +e-re going to *ig(t so (ar! t(at +e-re going to +in.
(Harry enters)
Act2 Scene 9
(31eryone still on stage Llig(ts up; #anging on !oor, e1eryone runs to "i!!le)
HARRY: on-t +orry, no one can get in.
RON: Yea(, +e-ll #e *ine.
(Vol!e"ort co"es in an! e1eryone s(rieks)
VO63MOR/: A1a!a ca!a1ra. (He sees Potter an! is s(ocke!) $HA/.% Potter (o+ "any ti"es !o )
(a1e to kill you #oy% (Pointing +an! at Harry)
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55
HARRY: (pointing (is +an! at V) Clearly "ore t(an once #ut it-s all o1er Vol!e"ort, you can-t kill "e
t(is ti"e. No#o!y (elp "e, )-1e got to !o t(is "ysel*.
VO63MOR/: He !oesn-t "ean t(at, it-s not (o+ (e operates. 'o #oy, +(o are you going to use as a
(u"an s(iel! t(is ti"e%
(Ron (ear! a#out (u"an s(iel! an! "o1es out, t(en #ack into group)
HARRY: No#o!y. Cause t(is ti"e it-s 9ust you an! "e L ) !estroye! all t(e (orcru8es
VO63MOR/: 31en "y Ie*ron poster%
HARRY: 3'P3C)A66Y t(e Ie*ron poster
VO63MOR/: AAAHHHH, Curse you Potter, you-ll !ie *or t(at.
HARRY: No, No ) +on-t. 4ecause you can-t kill "e an! you can-t kill any o* t(ese people
VO63MOR/: $(at t(e (eck are you on a#out%
HARRY: You !on-t learn *ro" your "istakes !o you Vol!e"ort% ) +as prepare! to !ie *or t(ese people
VO63MOR/: 4ut you !i!n-t.
HARRY: Yes, #ut ) "eant to. An! t(at-s +(at !i! it. )-1e gi1en t(e" "agical sanctuary. You can-t (urt
t(ese people or "e e1er again.
VO63MOR/: 'o +(at. $(o cares a#out t(ese c(il!ren, it-s you ) +ant !ea!. Potter, +(at-s to stop you
*ro" !ying +(en ) strike%
HARRY: Fust one t(ing: t(ink a#out all t(e people you-1e (urt Vol!e"ort, all t(e people you kille!. /ry
to t(ink a#out all t(e li1es you-1e !estroye!. /(ere-s got to #e one t(ing, one person, t(at you "iss
VO63MOR/: (+it( !rea"y look Lt(en #eco"es (ars( again; points +an! at pianoKno "ore "usic)
NO /H3R3 )'N/.... Curses on you Potter, ) !on-t care a#out any#o!y.
HARRY: ) kno+ an! t(at-s +(at "akes you suc( a piece o* crap. You see at Hog+arts, +e all stick
toget(er, +e lo1e one anot(er, +e-re *rien!s. My lo1e-s protecte! t(ese guys an! t(eir lo1e is all ) nee!
to #e protecte! *ro" you.
VO63MOR/: 6et-s put t(at t(eory to t(e test, Potter. A1a!a ca!a1ra
HARRY: 38pellia"us. (Vol!e"ort !ies)
CHO: $ell, c(ocolate *rogs. Harry Potter !i! it, ya-ll..
(31eryone e8cite! 9u"ping up an! !o+n, @ people !rag Vol!e"ort o**. Harry an! &inny kiss, Ron runs
up to t(e")
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RON: NO NO +(oa +(oa, (ey Llisten, ) 9ust +ant to let you guys kno+ (&inny is *i8ing (er (air an!
skirt) t(at =. )-" totally cool +it( it L"ake out (Ron goes o1er to Her"ione an! t(ey preten! to get
rea!y to 0renc( kiss L#ut Ron 9ust pus(es Her"ione-s (ea! a+ay)
H3RM)ON3: &uys ) guess t(at roun!s up all t(e loose en!s, e8cept *or t(e (ouse cup tourna"ent.
Ne1ille (running in +it( a ne+spaper) &uys, look, ) *oun! t(is. )t-s u"#le!ore-s +ill L )t says Din t(e
e1ent o* "y !eat( L &ry**in!or +ins t(e (ouse cup. (31eryone e8cept raco starts c(eering) )t also
says
Hog+arts goes to Harry Potter. (31eryone c(eering)
HARRY: $ell, ) guess all t(e pro*essors are !ea! so #utter #eers on "e... (/(ey all start *ollo+ing (i"
out.)
('tage rig(tLe"entor an! >uirrel)
3M3N/OR: You-re *ree to go. (gi1es (i" so"e clot(es) $ell, !i! you (ear t(e ne+s% Vol!e"ort is
!ea!.. Yea(, +ell, goo! luck getting o** t(is islan!. (e"entor lea1es)
>:)RR36: ea!% (Melo!ra"atic on groun! crying; $(ite ro#e! *igure enters stage rig(t, takes o** (oo!)
VO63MOR/: Hey you. (>uirrel gets up)
>:)RR36: Vol!e"ort is it really you%
VO63MOR/: $(at-s le*t o* "e.
>:)RR36: 4ut ) 9ust (ear! t(at you
VO63MOR/: +ere !estroye!% (pause ) Yea(, #ut t(ere-s t(is part o* "e t(at-s still (ere. /(ere-s a part
o* "e t(at can-t #e !estroye! #ecause it-s rig(t in (+alks across stage) (ere. (points to >uirrel-s (eart)
>:)RR36: )n "y (eart% 'o you ca"e #ack
VO63MOR/: ) ca"e (o"e. (>uirrel starts #iting (is *ist.)
>:)RR36: An! you !on-t +ant to kill Harry Potter any"ore%
VO63MOR/: NO. No. ('o*ter) 4ecause ) learne! so"et(ing +(en ) got "y #o!y #ack >uirrel. 6i*e
is really "essy an! it 9ust !oesn-t turn out t(e +ay you t(ink it +ill L You t(ink killing people +ill "ake
people like you #ut it !oesn-t L it 9ust "akes people !ea!. May#e +it( >uirrel, t(ings +ill #e ok.
>:)RR36: )s ok goo!%
VO63MOR/: >uirrel, Ok is +on!er*ul. ('lo+ "otion runs to eac( ot(er)
Not Alone Reprise! "inale
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