The Power of Purpose

Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about
your path, writes oncologist Dr. Bernie Siegel in Peace, Love and Healing, your job
on earth. This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner
message, an inner awareness, that says, This is your path, this is how you can be
the best human being possible. If you follow it, you will achieve your full growth
and full potential as a human being before you let go of the Tree of Life...

I know Dr. Bernie is right, because I see the power of the inner voice daily in my
clients, in my friends, and in my own life. My clients ask, How can I access that
voice, that wisdom, and get my feet started on the path?

Its easy for any of us to get discouraged with suffering throughout the world: racial
prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms
(starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of rights of speech,
health and human dignity, and just plain bigotry and nastiness).

My own reaction, years ago, was despair. I can't stand it! So much suffering! So
many issues! There's nothing significant I can do. Gradually, with the help of wiser
people, I came to realize that I wasn't supposed to do it ALL. I just needed to do a
part. But what part? Thus I began to learn about my inner wisdom, my unique
birthright, my own peculiarities and talents.

We are all unique, with different genetic mixes, different fingerprints, different gifts
and personalities, so let's suppose that there must be a reason for our differences;
a Plan. Included in the Plan is a special place for each of us, and we have been
designed, by a Super Intelligence, for a special task within the Plan. Supposing that
Plan exists, what is your part in it? What were you designed to do? What's your job
on earth?

If you feel confused or overwhelmed by life, or if your life seems to have no
meaning, no important reason for your existence, spend some time pondering the
Plan. Whether you call your Source a Higher Power, Spirit, or God, try reading Its



mind a little: ImagineIf you were God, and you had created the human being that
is you, what would you have created such a person for? Its an interesting puzzle,
and the clues are in your unique characteristics. Are you a good listener? Then
maybe counseling is your intended job. Can you explain things well? Perhaps
youre being directed toward teaching something. Are you a mathematical whiz? A
musician? An artist? Can you make people laugh? All of these talents can be used in
unique ways to make the world a little better. For example, if you like to make
people laugh, and you enjoy elderly people, perhaps entertaining, volunteering, or
working in a senior citizen's center is your special place. Or if you are a survivor of
abuse or illness, perhaps your job lies in helping others survive.

Like me, many others have found it useful to ponder solve this riddle. The clues and
hints are subtle, but they exist. The secret to your lifes purpose is hidden in your
hearts desire. Discover that, and you discover meaning, joy and purpose. There is
a Plan, and you fit within it. No one has been omitted, every small link fits. As you
discover your secret mission, and join the rhythm of the Wise Plan, life begins to
run itself, doubt fades, and joy becomes a more frequent companion. Try listening
to your heart, and to the obvious things about you, and you'll find it works.

I give you something, you know not what, enrich it, you know not how, bring it
back, you know not when. And remember, I shall be watching you. Said the Sun to
the newborn child. so childrens writer P.L. Travers expresses the mystery of
finding your job on Earth.
To find in ourselves what makes life worth living is risky business, writes Marsha
Sinetar in Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics: for it means that once we know
it we must seek it. It also means that without it life will be valueless.

Did you know that problems with compulsive eating, substance abuse, destructive
addictive relationships, and obsessive behavior are most often misguided attempts
to satisfy the hearts desire?

We are such amazing miracles of creation. Within each of us is a driving force, that
will NOT give up and go away. We can attempt to drown it out with loud, raucous
living, to anesthetize it with food, drink or drugs, to avoid it through some zealotry



or other, to run from it by being frantically busy, to ignore it by working
obsessively, to be too overwhelmed drama and agony to notice it; but as soon as
the unavoidable quiet moment happens, there it is, urging us on. Often, people
misread this uncomfortable inner restlessness and call it fear or loneliness, but
it is only the call of the heart. Until we acknowledge it, it will not allow us to be at
peace. Believe it or not, our hearts are filled with purpose and meaning, and will
constantly press us to discover our true desire and act upon it.

A spectrum is a wide range of something, like the colors light creates when beamed
through a prism. A rainbow. My rainbow, the one I want to share with all of you, is
the warrior rainbow. It's the wide range of people who are willing to face their own
fear and anger, to brave the terrors of the inner deep, to challenge the naysayers
and the criticizers, because they know how important it is to be who they really are.
It's a broad spectrum of people, all colors, orientations, beliefs and experiences.
Nothing elaborate is required to take your place in the warrior rainbowjust the
courage to be youto face your fears, to believe in yourself, to be willing to fight
where you can, while remembering a rainbow warrior always takes prudent risks
self-destruction is not encouraged.

I find that many people who come to me for counseling are autophobic afraid
of themselves. They are afraid of feeling emotion, afraid of being forced to be alone
with themselves, afraid to find out what is actually inside them. It actually comes
down to fearing the power within. We run very fast, in an attempt to escape who
we are.

If the person insists on a certain program, and doesnt listen to the demands of his
own heart, hes going to risk a schizophrenic crackup, warned philosopher Joseph
Campbell. Such a person has...aligned himself with a program for life, and it's not
the one the body's interested in at all. The world is full of people who have stopped
listening to themselves or have listened only to their neighbors to learn what they
ought to do, how they ought to behave, and what the values are that they should
be living for...my analysis...is that we would rather feel alive than be alive.
Sometimes it kills you, to feel so alive out there on a battlefield somewhere, or in a
corporate environment where it's quite clear that you're heading for a heart attack,



and you don't change your course because you are living in that stream of energy
and aliveness. You wind up bargaining your life away for it.

Reading through the wisdom of the ages, I have come across this advice time and
time again. Humankinds greatest teachers insist that the costs of denying your
heart's desire are far greater than anything that could happen by following it. Every
time my clients overcome their reluctance to know who they are, they release an
inner power that transforms their lives.

What better time to become a rainbow warrior than now? Here's Dr. Campbells
advice about how to begin: You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day,
where you don't know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don't know
who your friends are, you don't know what you owe anybody, you don't know what
anybody owes to you...a place where you can simply experience and bring forth
what you are and what you might be...the place of creative incubation. ...if you
have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen... Where is your
bliss station? You have to try to find it. Get a phonograph and put on the music that
you really love, even if it's corny music that nobody else respects. Or get the book
you like to read. In your sacred place you get the thou feeling of life...for the
whole world. ...if you follow your bliss you put yourself on a track that has been
there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the
one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the
field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't
be afraid, and doors will open where you didnt know they were going to be.

I invite you to get acquainted with your hearts desire, join me in a resolution to
surrender, to slow down and find out what is inside, straining to get out, longing to
make contact with you. Make a sacred space for yourself, and spend a little time
in it, at first reading or listening to music, and little by little listening to your heart.
Perhaps it will change your life, as it has so many others. God has already blessed
us, every one.
( 2006 Tina B. Tessina - adapted from It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of
Dysfunction)







Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in
counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up
and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the
Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to
Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the Dr. Romance blog, and the Happiness Tips from Tina email
newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for LoveForever.com, a website designed to strengthen relationships
and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online
couples counseling. Online, shes known as Dr. Romance Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV
shows as Oprah, Larry King Live and ABC News.