Krishnamurti: A Biography

Copyright 1986 by Pupul Jayakar

KRISHNAMURTI
A BIOGRAPHY
Pupul Jayakar
To Krishnaji with
profound Pranaams
Contents
Preface
A Song Bestoe! "pon a #ethere! Bir!$
Part 1% #he &oung 'rishna(urti 189)*19+6
1% ,n Space -ne ,s Born an! "nto Space -ne ,s Born%$
.% #he #heosophical Society an! the -ccult /ierarchy
0% #he 1rea(2 ,s #hat &ou 3y 4or!5$
+% 3other6 Please #ouch 3y 7ace% ,s ,t Still #here5$
)% -ur 4ife /ere ,s -ne of ,ntense ,nner Acti8ity%$
6% , an! 3y Brother Are -ne$
9% #he Personality of J% 'rishna(urti /as Been Salloe! "p in the
7la(es%$
8% 'rishna(urti in -:ai2 #he 7orgotten &ears6 1908*19+9
Part .% 'rishna(urti in ,n!ia 19+9*19+9
9% #he ;athering of the 7rien!s
1<% &ou Are the =orl!%$
11% ;o an! 3ake 7rien!s ith the #rees%$
1.% #here =as the 7ace Besi!e 3e%$
10% =hy 1on>t &ou Begin to Clean &our 7ront 1oorstep6 the Part of &our
Street =hich ,s &ourself%$
1+% "n!er the 4ast ?ays of the Sun6 the =aters =ere the Color of @eborn
7loers%$
1)% #he 3in! -perating as Part of the =hole ,s An!less%$
Part 0% #he "nfol!ing of the #eaching 19)<*19)9
16% ?eligion Co(es =hen the 3in! /as "n!erstoo! the =orkings of ,tself%$
19% #he 3in! See(e! to ABpan! ithout an An!%$
18% Can #here Be Action ithout ConseCuence5$
19% #o Speak ith the =hole /ea!$
Part +% #he ?i8ers of ,nsight 196<*196.
.<% #hrough @egation #here ,s Creation%$
.1% #he 3in! #hat ;oes into ,tself 1eeply Anters on a Pilgri(age fro(
=hich #here ,s @o ?eturn%$
..% Be Aake%$
.0% /appy ,s the 3an =ho ,s @othing$2 4etters to a &oung 7rien!
Part )% Changing /oriDons 196.*1999
.+% People =ho Are ithout Creati8ity Buil! 1ea! ,nstitutions%$
.)% ,t ,s @ecessary to Ask Euestions to =hich #here Are @o Ansers%$
.6% 4o8e 1oes @ot Suffer%$
.9% #he -bser8er ,s the -bser8e!%$
.8% #he Pebble in the Pon!$
.9% ?i!ing the Back of a #iger%$
0<% She ,s Fery Fulnerable%$
01% 1on>t /ol! 3e(ories of /er in &our 3in!6 that /ol!s /er to the Aarth%
4et /er ;o%$
Part 6% #he Su((ation of the #eaching 1998*198)
0.% Can &ou fro( #o!ay 4ook at the #hirty &ears as the Past5 @ot fro( the
#hirty &ears 4ook at #o!ay5$
00% Anergy ,s Cos(os6 ,t ,s Also Chaos% #hat ,s the Source of Creation%$
0+% @egation an! the Ancient 3in!
0)% -ne #ouche! the Source of the Anergy of All #hings%$
06% 1oubt as the Assence of ?eligious AnCuiry$
09% , Su!!enly Sa the 7ace%$
08% ,s ,t Possible to 'eep the Brain Fery &oung5$
09% #he @ature of ;o!$
+<% #he 3eaning of 1eath$
+1% 4earn to 1ie to &ourself Co(pletely%$
+.% #he 4i(its of #hought
+0% /o 7ar Can -ne #ra8el5$
++% #he ;oo! 3in!$
+)% =hat ,s #i(e5$
+6% #he 4ineage of Co(passion$
+9% @o Beginning6 @o An!$2 'rishna(urti at @inety
Apilogue
@otes
,llustrations
Preface
,n the late 19)<s 'rishna:i6 as J% 'rishna(urti is knon in ,n!ia an! to his
frien!s throughout the orl!6 suggeste! that , rite a book on his life6 base! on
the notes , ha! kept since , first (et hi( in 19+8% , began riting this book in
1998%
, ha8e atte(pte! to rite of 'rishna(urti the (an6 the teacher6 an! his
relationships ith the (any (en an! o(en ho for(e! part of the ,n!ian
lan!scape% #he book concentrates on 'rishna:i>s life in ,n!ia beteen 19+9 an!
198)6 but so(e recor!ing of his early life beca(e necessary as a back!rop to the
unfol!(ent of the story of the young 'rishna(urti% So(e ne (aterial6 hitherto
unpublishe!6 has also been inclu!e!%
#he rea!er ill soon notice that 'rishna(urti is calle! by se8eral !ifferent
na(es in this book% , ha8e referre! to 'rishna(urti as 'rishna hen he as a
young person6 for so he as knonG as 'rishna:i fro( 19+96 for by then he as
to (e the great #eacher an! Seer% Ji is a ter( of respect a!!e! to na(es both of
(en an! o(en in @orth ,n!iaG in an ol!*fashione! househol! e8en the chil!>s
na(e has the suffiB a!!e!6 for it is consi!ere! !iscourteous to a!!ress a person
by her or his first na(e% ,n South ,n!ia no suffiB is a!!e! an! ji is unknon% ,t is
likely that Annie Besant6 because of her close associations ith Faranasi6 a!!e!
the ji to 'rishna>s na(e as a ter( of en!ear(ent an! respect%
3ost religious teachers in ,n!ia ha8e a prefiB a!!e! to their na(es6 such as
3aharshi6 Acharya6 Sa(i6 or Bhagan% 'rishna:i ne8er accepte! any such title%
'rishna:i referre! to hi(self in the !ialogues or in his !iaries either as '$ or as
the i(personal e6$ to suggest an absence of the ,6$ the ego>s sense of
in!i8i!uality% ,n this book6 therefore6 hen , refer to the (an or the teacher in an
i(personal (anner6 , refer to hi( as 'rishna(urti or as '%
'rishna:i agree! to hol! !ialogues ith (e6 an! these for( part of the book%
3ost of the riting is fro( notes kept by (e !uring or i((e!iately after
con8ersations or !ialogues% 7ro( 199. onar!s6 so(e of the !ialogues ere on
tape an! ha8e been taken fro( there%
Certain inci!ents !iscusse! in the bookH'rishna:i>s (eetings ith ,n!ira
;an!hi6 his relationship ith Annie BesantHcoul! ha8e beco(e contro8ersial%
#hese chapters , rea! alou! to 'rishna:i for his co((ents% , also sent ,n!ira
;an!hi the chapter on her (eetings ith hi(G she suggeste! so(e (inor
changes6 hich ha8e been incorporate!%
, ish to acknole!ge (y !eep gratitu!e to Sri ?a:i8 ;an!hi for per(ission
to inclu!e the letters of ,n!ira ;an!hiG to the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 Anglan!6
for per(ission to publish the !ialogues hel! by (e ith 'rishna:i at Brockoo!
ParkG to the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 ,n!ia6 for per(ission to publish the
!ialogues an! talks in ,n!iaG to S(t% ?a!ha Burnier6 Presi!ent6 #heosophical
Society6 for all her kin!ness an! help in (aking a8ailable (aterial fro( the
archi8es of the #heosophical SocietyG to Sri Achyut Patar!han for his (any
con8ersationsG to S(t% Sunan!a Patar!han for gi8ing (e access to her notes an!
personal recor!sG to (y !aughter ?a!hika an! her husban!6 /ans /erDberger6 for
their critical co((entsG to Sri 3urli ?ao for certain (anuscripts he brought to
(y noticeG an! to the (any other frien!s ho ha8e share! their eBperiences ith
(e% , oul! also like to acknole!ge Sri Asoke 1utt for his frien!ship an!
i((ense help in (aking the publication possibleG to 3r% Clayton Carlson of
/arper I ?o for his 8aluable suggestions6 interest6 an! supportG to Sri Benoy
Sarkar for his 8aluable help in sorting out an! collating the photographsG to the
@ational ,nstitute of 1esign6 Ah(e!aba!G to the heirs of 3itter Be!iG to Asit
Chan!(alG 3ark A!ar!s6 an! A% /a(i!6 for per(ission to use their
photographsG to A% F% Jose for his o8erall support an! super8isionG an! to 3%
Janar!hanan for bearing ith (e in preparing the (anuscript%
A Song Bestoe! "pon a
#ethere! Bir!$
Aake6 arise6 ha8ing approache! the great teacher6 learn%
#he roa! is !ifficult6 the crossing is as the sharp e!ge of a raDor%
'A#/A "PA@,S/A1 ,,,
, first (et 'rishna(urti in January 19+8% , as thirty*to years of age an! ha!
co(e to li8e in Bo(bay after (arrying (y husban!6 3an(ohan Jayakar6 in
1909% 3y only chil!6 a !aughter6 ?a!hika6 as born a year later%
,n!ia ha! been in!epen!ent for fi8e (onths an! , sa a seet future
stretching ahea!% 3y on entry into politics as i((inent% ,t as a ti(e hen
(en an! o(en in8ol8e! in the free!o( struggle ha! also turne! to hat as
then knon as social or constructi8e progra(s initiate! by 3ahat(a ;an!hi%
#his co8ere! e8ery aspect of nation buil!ing6 particularly those acti8ities relate!
to 8illage ,n!ia% 7ro( 19+1 , beca(e 8ery acti8e in organiDational (atters relate!
to 8illage o(en>s elfare6 cooperati8es6 cottage in!ustries% 7or (e6 it as a
tough an! rigorous initiation% =ith free!o(6 the after(ath of partition sa (e at
the center of the (ain relief organiDation set up in Bo(bay for refugees ho
ere pouring into the country fro( Pakistan%
-ne Sun!ay (orning , ent to see (y (other6 ho li8e! in 3alabar /ill6
Bo(bay6 in an ol! ra(bling bungalo roofe! ith country tiles% , foun! her ith
(y sister @an!ini getting rea!y to go out% #hey tol! (e that San:ee8a ?ao6 ho
ha! stu!ie! ith (y father in 'ing>s College6 Ca(bri!ge6 ha! co(e to see (y
(other% /e sa that e8en after se8eral years of (ourning6 she as still in great
sorro at (y father>s !eath% /e ha! suggeste! that she (ight be helpe! by
(eeting 'rishna(urti% An i(age ca(e su!!enly to (y (in!2 the (i!*19.<s6 the
school at Faranasi
1
here , as a !ay stu!ent% , re(e(bere! seeing a 8ery young
'rishna(urti6 a lean6 beautiful figure6 seate! cross*legge!6 !resse! in hite6 an!
,6 one of fifty chil!ren6 laying floers before hi(%%%
, ha! nothing to !o that (orning6 so , acco(panie! (y (other% =hen e
reache! ?atansi 3orar:i>s house on Car(ichael ?oa!6 here 'rishna(urti as
staying6 , sa Achyut Patar!han6 stan!ing outsi!e the entrance% ,n recent years
he ha! beco(e a re8olutionary an! free!o( fighter6 but , ha! knon hi( since
e ere chil!ren at Faranasi in the 19.<s% =e spoke together for a fe (o(ents
before e ent into the sitting roo( to aait 'rishna(urti%
'rishna(urti entere! the roo( silently6 an! (y senses eBplo!e!G , ha! a
su!!en intense perception of i((ensity an! ra!iance% /e fille! the roo( ith his
presence6 an! for an instant , as !e8astate!% , coul! !o nothing but gaDe at hi(%
@an!ini intro!uce! (y tiny6 fragile*bo!ie! (other an! then turne! an!
intro!uce! (e% =e sat !on% =ith so(e hesitation6 (y (other began to speak of
1
Benares%
(y father6 her lo8e for hi( an! of her tre(en!ous loss6 hich she see(e! unable
to accept% She aske! 'rishna(urti hether she oul! (eet (y father in the neBt
orl!% By then the intensity of heightene! perception his presence ha! first
e8oke! ha! starte! to fa!e6 an! , sat back to hear hat , eBpecte! to be a
co(forting reply% , kne that (any sorroful people ha! 8isite! hi(6 an! ,
assu(e! that he oul! kno the or!s ith hich to co(fort the(%
Abruptly6 he spoke% , a( sorry6 3a!a(% &ou ha8e co(e to the rong (an% ,
cannot gi8e you the co(fort you seek%$ , sat up6 beil!ere!% &ou ant (e to
tell you that you ill (eet your husban! after !eath6 but hich husban! !o you
ant to (eet5 #he (an ho (arrie! you6 the (an ho as ith you hen you
ere young6 the (an ho !ie! or the (an he oul! ha8e been to!ay6 ha! he
li8e!5$ /e pause! an! as silent for so(e (o(ents% =hich husban! !o you
ant to (eet5 Because6 surely6 the (an ho !ie! as not the sa(e (an ho
(arrie! you%$
, felt (y (in! spring to attentionG , ha! hear! so(ething eBtraor!inarily
challenging% 3y (other see(e! 8ery perturbe!% She as not prepare! to accept
that ti(e coul! ha8e (a!e any !ifference in the (an she lo8e!% She sai!6 3y
husban! oul! not change%$ 'rishna(urti replie!6 =hy !o you ant to (eet
hi(5 =hat you (iss is not your husban!6 but the (e(ory of your husban!%$ /e
pause! again6 alloing the or!s to sink !eep%
3a!a(6 forgi8e (e%$ /e fol!e! his han!s an! , gre aare of the perfection
of his gestures% =hy !o you keep his (e(ory ali8e5 =hy !o you ant to
recreate hi( in your (in!5 =hy !o you try to li8e in sorro an! continue ith
the sorro5$ , felt a Cuickening of (y senses2 his refusal to be kin! in the
accepte! sense as shattering% 3y (in! leapt to (eet the clarity an! precision of
his or!s% , felt that , as in contact ith so(ething 8ast an! totally ne%
#hough the or!s soun!e! harsh6 there as gentleness in his eyes an! a Cuality
of healing floe! fro( hi(% /e hel! (y (other>s han! hile he as speaking%
@an!ini sa that (y (other as !isturbe!% She change! the con8ersation an!
began speaking to 'rishna(urti of the rest of the fa(ily% She tol! hi( that , as
a social orker intereste! in politics% /e as gra8e as he turne! to (e an! aske!
hy , !i! social ork% , respon!e! by telling hi( of the fullness of (y life% /e
s(ile!% ,t (a!e (e feel uneasy an! ner8ous% #hen he sai!6 =e are like the (an
ho tries to fill ater into a pail that has holes% #he (ore ater he pours in6 the
(ore it pours out6 an! the pail re(ains e(pty%$
/e as looking at (e ithout intru!ing% /e sai!6 =hat is it you are trying to
run aay fro(5 Social ork6 pleasure6 li8ing in sorroHare these not all
escapes6 atte(pts to fill the 8oi! ithin5 Can this 8oi! be fille!5 An! yet6 to fill
the 8oi! is the hole process of our eBistence%$
, foun! his or!s 8ery !isturbing6 but felt they ha! to be eBplore!% #o (e6
action as lifeG an! hat he sai! as inco(prehensible% , aske! hi( hether he
ante! (e to sit at ho(e an! !o nothing% /e listene!G an! , ha! a peculiar
feeling that his listening as unlike anything , ha! e8er percei8e! or
eBperience!% #hen he s(ile! at (y Cuestion6 an! the roo( fille!% Shortly after
that e left% 'rishna(urti sai! to (e6 =e shall (eet again%$
#he (eeting ha! left (e 8ery !isturbe!% , coul! not sleep6 his or!s kept
arising in (y (in!% As the !ays passe! , began to atten! the talks he as gi8ing
in the gar!ens of Sir Chunilal 3ehta6 @an!ini>s father*in*la% , foun! it !ifficult
to un!erstan! hat 'rishna(urti as saying6 but his presence !e8astate! (e an!
, continue! to go% /e spoke of orl! chaos as the pro:ection of in!i8i!ual chaos%
/e tol! us that all organiDations an! is(s$ ha! faile!6 an! that in our pursuit of
security e buil! ne organiDations that in turn betray us%
, ha! the feeling that , as not (eeting hi( at the le8el at hich he as
speaking% After a fe !ays , aske! for an inter8ie%
, as !ri8en by the urge to be ith hi(6 to be notice! by hi(6 to probe into
the (ystery that per8a!e! his presence% , as afrai! of hat oul! happen6 but ,
coul! not keep aay% 7or to !ays before our inter8ie , planne! hat , oul!
say to hi( an! ho , oul! say it% =hen , alke! into the roo( , foun! hi(
sitting straight*backe! an! cross*legge! on the floor6 !resse! in an i((aculate
hite kurta that stretche! to belo his knees% /e sprang to his feet6 his long6
petal*like fingers fol!e! in greeting% , sat !on facing hi(% /e sa , as ner8ous
an! he aske! (e to sit Cuietly%
After a hile , began to talk% , ha! alays been sure of (yself6 so though ,
hesitate!6 , soon foun! that , as speaking nor(ally an! hat , ha! planne! to
say poure! out% , spoke of the fullness of (y life an! ork6 of (y concern for the
un!erpri8ilege!6 (y !esire to enter politics6 (y ork in the cooperati8e
(o8e(ent6 (y interest in art% , as co(pletely absorbe! in hat , ha! to say6 the
i(pression , as trying to create% After a fe (o(ents6 hoe8er6 , ha! the
unco(fortable feeling that he as not listening% , looke! up an! sa he as
gaDing at (eG there as a Cuestioning in his eyes an! a !eep probing% , hesitate!
an! gre silent% After a pause he sai!6 , ha8e notice! you at the !iscussions%
=hen you are in repose6 there is a great sa!ness on your face%$
, forgot hat , ha! inten!e! to say6 forgot e8erything but the sorro ithin
(e% , ha! refuse! to allo the pain to co(e through% So !eep as it burie! that it
rarely i(pinge! on (y conscious (in!% , as horrifie! of the i!ea that others
oul! sho (e pity an! sy(pathy6 an! ha! co8ere! up (y sorro ith layers of
aggression% , ha! ne8er spoken of this to anyoneHnot e8en to (yself ha! ,
acknole!ge! (y loneliness2 but before this silent stranger all (asks ere sept
aay% , looke! into his eyes an! it as (y on face , sa reflecte!% 4ike a
torrent long hel! in check6 the or!s ca(e%
, re(e(bere! (yself as a young chil!6 one of fi8e chil!ren6 ti(i! an! gentle6
bruise! at the slightest harshness% 1ark of co(pleBion in a fa(ily here
e8eryone as fair6 unnotice!6 a girl hen , shoul! ha8e been a boy6 li8ing in a
large ra(bling house6 being alone for hours6 rea!ing books that , sel!o(
un!erstoo!% , re(e(ber sitting on a long 8eran!a facing ancient treesG listening
to legen!s of ogres an! heroes6 of /ati( #ai an! Ali BabaHthe oral tales of this
ancient lan! tol! by the hite*bear!e! 3usli( tailor ,((a(u!!in6 ho sat ith
his seing (achine all !ay long on the 8eran!a% , re(e(bere! hearing #ulsi!as>s
Ram Charit Manas
1
sung by ?a( 'hila8an6 the blin! punkah coolie ho fanne!
1
Ram Charit Manas is the story of ?a( an! Sita fro( the epic Ramayana co(pose! in the 8ernacular by
poet #ulsi!as in a four*line Cuatrain inserte! in the teBt%
us6 an! the fragrance of cool6 et khus (ats on a su((er !ay% , re(e(bere!
going for alks ith (y ,rish go8erness6 learning of plants an! the na(es of
floersG !elighting in the history of British kings an! Cueens6 Arthur an!
;uine8ere6 /enry the F,,, an! Anne BoleynG ne8er playing ith !olls6 sel!o(
ith other chil!ren% , re(e(bere! being afrai! of (y father6 yet secretly a!oring
hi(%
, re(e(bere! at age ele8en the bu!s opening in (y o(b6 the first blee!ing6
an! ith it a (iraculous blosso(ing% #o gro up an! to be young as
intoBication% #o be a!(ire!6 to li8e intenselyHri!ing6 si((ing6 playing tennis6
!ancing% =ith il! aban!on , race! to (eet life%
, re(e(bere! going to Anglan!6 to college an! the sti(ulation of the (in!G
(eeting (y husban!6 the return to ,n!ia6 (arriage an! the birth of (y !aughter
?a!hika%
,ne8itably6 , soon refuse! the role of a houseife% , plunge! into social ork6
playe! bri!ge an! poker for high stakes6 li8e! at the heart of the social an!
intellectual life of Bo(bay% #hen another pregnancyG in the se8enth (onth an
attack of ecla(psia brought 8iolent con8ulsions an! total blin!ness%
, re(e(bere! the beil!ering anguish of !arkness an! the eBplosi8e stor(s
of color2 cerulian blue6 the color of the neelkantha bir!6 the color of blue fire% #he
brain ra8age! by the bo!y>s con8ulsionsG the en!ing of the heartbeats an! the
!eath of the unseen babyG the hea8y !eath silence of the o(b% Sight returning
through a (ist6 as gray !ots6 con8erging to create for(%
3y (in! pause!6 or!s en!e!6 an! , looke! again at the beautiful stranger%
But the racking pain of (y belo8e! father>s !eath soon aakene! in (e6 an!
again there as tearing6 unen!urable agony%
=or!s oul! not en!% , spoke of the (any scars of li8ing6 the struggle to
sur8i8e6 the groing ruthlessness6 the slo har!ening6 the aggression an!
a(bition% #he !ri8e in (e6 !e(an!ing success% #hen another pregnancy6 the birth
of a little girl6 beautiful of face6 but !efor(e!% #he !roning in anguish an!
again the !eath of the chil!% Aight years of barrenness of (in!6 heart6 an! o(bG
an! then !eath%
,n his presence the past6 hi!!en in the !arkness of the long forgotten6 foun!
for( an! aakene!% /e as as a (irror that reflecte!% #here as an absence of
personality6 of the e8aluator6 to eigh an! !istort% , kept trying to keep back
so(ething of (y past6 but he oul! not let (e% @o6 in the co(passionate fiel!6
there as a Cuality of i((ense strength% /e sai!6 , can see if you ant (e to%$
An! so the or!s hich for years ha! been !estroying (e ere sai!% Saying
the( brought (e i((ense pain6 but his listening as as the listening of in!s or
the 8ast eBpanse of ater%
, ha! been ith 'rishna:i
1
for to hours% As , left the roo( (y bo!y felt
shattere!6 an! yet a healing ha! floe! through (e% , ha! touche! a ne ay of
Before electricity ca(e to ,n!ia6 e8ery bungalo ha! a long oo!en pole hung horiDontally fro( the
high ceiling6 ith a hea8y cloth frill attache!% A rope connecte! the pole through a hole in the all to the
outer 8eran!a6 here a (an sat pulling the rope an! so (o8ing the fan6 to create a slight breeDe in the
frightful heat of @orthern ,n!ia in the su((er (onths% #he fragrant khus (ats ere hung on !oors an!
in!os% =hen et6 the hot in! bloing through the( as transfor(e! into a cool6 scente! breeDe%
1
See Preface for eBplanation of the 8arious for(s of 'rishna(urti>s na(e use! in this book%
obser8ing6 a ne ay of listening6 ithout reaction6 a listening that arose fro(
!istance an! !epth% =hile , as speaking he appeare! aare not only of hat
as being sai!Hthe eBpressions6 gestures6 attitu!esHbut also of hat as
happening aroun! hi(Hthe bir! singing in the tree outsi!e his in!o6 a floer
falling fro( a 8ase% ,n the (i!st of (y outcry he sai! to (e2 1i! you see that
floer fall5$ 3y (in! ha! stoppe!6 beil!ere!%
, ha! been listening to 'rishna(urti for se8eral !ays% , ent to his talks6
atten!e! the !iscussions6 cogitate!6 !iscusse! hat he as saying ith (y
frien!s% -n the e8ening of January 0<6 hen e ha! all gathere! aroun! hi( at
?atansi 3orar:i>s house6 Achyut as calle! to the telephone% /e ca(e back6 his
face ashen%
;an!hi:i has been assassinate!6$ he sai!% 7or an instant6 ti(e stoppe!%
'rishna:i ha! beco(e 8ery still% /e see(e! to be aare of each one of us an! our
reactions% A(ong us6 a single thought arose2 =as the assassin a /in!u or a
3usli(5 Achyut>s brother ?ao aske!6 ,s there nes of the killer5$ Achyut sai!
he !i! not kno% #he conseCuences that oul! follo if the killer ere a 3usli(
ere clear to all of us% =e rose silently6 an! one by one left the roo(%
#he nes that ;an!hi ha! been (ur!ere! by a Brah(in fro( Poona sept
the cityG anti*Brah(in riots broke out in Poona% &ou coul! hear the hisper of
relief fro( the 3usli( resi!ents% =e listene! to Jaaharlal @ehru>s anguishe!
8oice a!!ressing the nation% #he country see(e! paralyDe!% #he unthinkable ha!
happene!6 an! for a brief (o(ent (en an! o(en searche! their hearts%
-n 7ebruary 1 a hushe! au!ience gathere! to hear 'rishna:i speak% /e as
aske! a !ifficult Cuestion2 =hat are the real causes of 3ahat(a ;an!hi>s
unti(ely !eath5$
'rishna(urti replie!6 , on!er hat your reaction as hen you hear! the
nes% =hat as your response5 =ere you concerne! o8er it as a personal loss6 or
as an in!ication of the tren! of orl! e8ents5 =orl! e8ents are not unrelate!
inci!entsG they are relate!% #he real cause of ;an!hi:i>s unti(ely !eath lies in
you% #he real cause is you% Because you are co((unal6 you encourage the spirit
of !i8isionHthrough property6 through caste6 through i!eology6 through ha8ing
!ifferent religions6 sects6 lea!ers% =hen you call yourself a /in!u6 a 3usli(6 a
Parsee6 or ;o! knos hat else6 it is boun! to pro!uce conflict in the orl!%$
7or !ays after that e !iscusse! 8iolence6 its root an! its en!ing% 7or
'rishna:i non8iolence as an i!eal as illusion% #he reality as the fact of
8iolence6 the rising of perception that un!erstoo! the nature of 8iolence an! the
en!ing of 8iolence in the no$2 the present of eBistence in hich alone action
as possible%
,n the talks that folloe! he spoke of the e8ery!ay proble(s that face
hu(ankin!Hfear6 anger6 :ealousy6 the fierce thrust of possession% Speaking of
relationships as the (irror for self*!isco8ery6 he use! the eBa(ple of husban!
an! ife6 the (ost inti(ate relationship an! yet often the (ost callous an!
hypocritical% 3en looke! ith e(barrasse! eyes at their i8es% So(e tra!itional
/in!us alke! out of the talks6 unable to un!erstan! hat the relationship
beteen husban! an! ife ha! to !o ith religious !iscourse% 'rishna:i refuse!
to (o8e fro( hat is6$ the actual% /e refuse! to !iscuss abstracts like ;o! or
eternity hile the (in! as a hirlpool of lust6 hatre!6 an! :ealousy% ,t as at
this ti(e that so(e of his au!ience began to feel that he !i! not belie8e in ;o!%
,n (i!*7ebruary , ent to see hi( again% /e aske! (e hether , ha! notice!
anything !ifferent in (y thinking process% , sai! , as not getting as (any
thoughts as , !i! before% 3y (in! as not as restless as it use! to be%
/e sai!6 ,f you ha8e been eBperi(enting ith self*knoing6 you ill notice
that your thinking process has sloe! !on6 that your (in! is not restlessly
an!ering%$ 7or a ti(e he as silentG , aite! for hi( to continue% #ry orking
out each thought to its co(pletion6 carry it right through to the en!% &ou ill fin!
that this is 8ery !ifficult6 for no sooner !oes one thought co(e into being than it
is pursue! by another thought% #he (in! refuses to co(plete a thought% ,t escapes
fro( thought to thought%$ #his is so% =hen , ha8e trie! to follo a thought6 ,
ha8e alays note! ho siftly it elu!es the atcher%
, then aske! hi( ho one coul! co(plete a thought% /e sai!6 #hought can
only co(e to an en! hen the thinker un!erstan!s hi(self6 hen he sees that the
thinker an! the thought are not to separate processes% #hat the thinker is the
thought6 an! the thinker separates hi(self fro( thought for his self*protection
an! continuance% So the thinker is continually pro!ucing thought hich is
transfor(ing an! changing%$ /e pause!%
,s the thinker separate fro( his thoughts5$ #here ere long pauses beteen
his sentences6 as if he eBpecte! the or!s to :ourney far an! !eep% ?e(o8e
thought6 here is the thinker5 &ou ill fin! the thinker is not% So hen you
co(plete e8ery thought to its en!6 goo! or ba!Hhich is eBtre(ely ar!uousH
the (in! slos !on% #o un!erstan! the self6 the self in operation has to be
atche!% #his can only be hen the (in! slos !onHan! you can only !o this
by pursuing e8ery thought to its en! as it arises% &ou ill then see that your
con!e(nations6 your !esires6 your :ealousies ill co(e out before a
consciousness that is e(pty an! co(pletely silent%$
4istening to hi( o8er the course of a (onth6 (y (in! ha! gron pliableG it
as no longer crystaliDe! an! soli! in its encrustations% , aske!6 But hen
consciousness is fille! ith pre:u!ices6 !esires6 (e(ories6 can it then un!erstan!
thought5$
@o6$ he ansere!6 for it is constantly acting on thoughtHescaping fro( it
or buil!ing on it%$ Again he as silent% ,f you follo each thought to its
co(pletion6 you ill see that at the en! of it there is silence% 7ro( that there is
reneal% #hought that arises fro( this silence no longer has !esire as its (oti8e
force6 it e(erges fro( a state that is not clogge! ith (e(ory%
But if again the thought that so arises is not co(plete!6 it lea8es a resi!ue%
#hen there is no reneal an! the (in! is caught again in a consciousness hich
is (e(ory6 boun! by the past6 by yester!ay% Aach thought6 then to the neBt6 is the
yester!ayHthat hich has no reality%
#he ne approach is to bring ti(e to an en!6$ 'rishna:i conclu!e!% , !i! not
un!erstan!6 but ca(e aay ith the or!s ali8e ithin (e%
@an!ini an! , so(eti(es took 'rishna:i for e8ening !ri8es to the /anging
;ar!ens on 3alabar /ill6 or to =orli beach% At ti(es e oul! alk ith hi(6
fin!ing it !ifficult to keep pace ith his long stri!es% -ther ti(es he oul! alk
alone an! return after an hour6 a stranger% 1uring the alks ith us he oul!
occasionally speak of his youth6 his life in the #heosophical Society6 an! his
early !ays at -:ai6 California% /e tol! us of his brother @itya6 of his co(panions
?a:agopal an! ?osalin! an! the /appy Falley School% -ften hen he spoke of
the past his (e(ory oul! be precise6 accurate% At other ti(es he oul! gro
8ague an! say he !i! not re(e(ber% /e as Cuick to s(ile6 an! his laughter as
!eep an! resonant% /e share! :okes6 he aske! us Cuestions of our chil!hoo! an!
our groing up% /e also spoke of ,n!ia6 eagerly seeking our 8ies on hat as
taking place in the country% =e ere hesitant an! shyG a sense of (ystery an! his
o8erhel(ing presence (a!e it !ifficult for us to be casual ith hi(6 or to speak
of tri8ialities in his presence% But his laughter brought hi( closer to us%
-n so(e !ays e !iscusse! thought% /e oul! ask6 /a8e you atche! the
birth of a thought5 /a8e you atche! its en!ing5$ Another !ay he oul! say6
#ake a thought6 stay ith it6 hol! it in consciousness6 you ill see ho ar!uous
it is to hol! one thought as it is to en! thought%$
, tol! 'rishna:i that since , ha! (et hi(6 , ha! been aking in the (ornings6
ithout thought6 but ith the soun! of bir!s an! the !istant 8oices of the street
floing through (y (in!%
#o the ,n!ian the silent straight*backe! stranger6 the (en!icant ho stan!s
aiting at the !oorays of the ho(e an! (in! hol!ing an in8itation to otherness6
is a poerful sy(bol% ,t e8okes in the house*hol!erHo(an or (anHpassionate
longings6 anguish6 an! a reaching out physically an! inar!ly to that hich is
unattainable% But this seer laughe! an! :oke!G he alke! ith us6 as near an!
yet 8ery far aay% /esitatingly6 e in8ite! hi( to (y (other>s house for !inner%
/e ca(e s(iling6 earing a dhoti6 a long kurta6 an! an angavastram6
1
an!
as recei8e! ith floers by (y tiny (other% She ha! ne8er ha! a for(al
e!ucation6 but her natural elegance of (in!6 her grace an! !ignity6 (a!e it
possible for her to (eet an! speak ith 'rishna:i% She as the i!o of a senior
,n!ian ci8il ser8ant% =hile li8ing ith (y father she ha! share! in his intellectual
an! social life6 ha! (et scholars an! social orkers6 an! as herself an ar!ent
social orker% #enacious an! shre!6 (y (other ha! broken free fro( tra!ition
early in her (arrie! life% She spoke Anglish ith ease6 entertaine! ith Jlan6 an!
cooke! !electably% ,n (y chil!hoo! e ha! to cooks6 one for 8egetarian
;u:arati (eals an! another traine! in =estern cuisineG a ;oan butler aite! at
table% 3y father>s !eath ha! broken her6 but (y (other>s house continue! to be
resonant ith laughter6 in hich 'rishna:i :oine!% /e soon felt at ho(e6 an!
ca(e freCuently to !inner% By the en! of 3arch e coul! speak to hi( ith easeG
1
A dhoti is a forty*fi8e*inch i!e an! fi8e yar!s long cotton han!o8en cloth6 unstitche!6 ith a plain
bor!er of burgun!y or black% ,t is tie! aroun! the aist6 pleate! in front6 an! tucke! beteen the legs to
be fastene! at the back6 falling ankle lenght% ,t is a graceful gar(ent for ear on cere(onial occasions%
#he kurta is a stitche!6 loose6 collarless shirt ith long slee8es6 an! it reaches belo the knees% An
angavastram is an unbleache! han!o8en cotton shal ith a !ark re!6 in!igo6 or black bor!er o8en
ith a gol! !esign% 7ol!e! an! thron o8er the shoul!er6 it is orn on all cere(onial occasions6
particularly in South ,n!ia%
yet after each of his talks an! !iscussions e gre intensely aare of the
!istances that separate! us an! the (ystery that e coul! neither touch nor
fatho(%
#oar! the en! of 3arch , tol! 'rishna:i of the state of (y (in! an! the
thoughts that pursue! (eG of the (o(ents of Cuietness an! bursts of frenDie!
acti8ityG of !ays hen (y (in! as caught in the pain of not beco(ing% , as
!istracte! by this constant :u(ping backar!s an! forar!s of the (in!%
/e took (y han! an! e sat Cuietly% 7inally6 he sai!6 &ou are agitate!%
=hy5$ , !i! not kno6 an! sat silently% =hy are you a(bitious5 1o you ant to
be like anyone you kno ho has got on5$
, hesitate! an! then sai!6 @o%$
&ou ha8e a goo! brain6$ he continue!6 a goo! instru(ent that has not been
use! rightly% &ou ha8e a !ri8e that has been rongly !irecte!% =hy are you
a(bitious5 =hat is it you ant to beco(e5 =hy !o you ant to aste your
brain5$
, as su!!enly alert% =hy a( , a(bitious5 Can , help hat , a(5 , a( busy
!oing6 achie8ing% =e cannot be like you%$
/is look as CuiDDical% 7or so(e ti(e he re(aine! ithout speaking6 letting
hat lay !or(ant ithin (e re8eal itself% #hen he aske!6 /a8e you e8er been
alone6 ithout books6 the ra!io5 #ry it an! see hat happens%$
, oul! go (a!6 , cannot be alone%$
#ry it an! see% 7or the (in! to be creati8e6 there (ust be stillness% A !eep
stillness that can only co(e into being hen you ha8e face! your loneliness%
&ou are a o(an6 an! yet you ha8e a great !eal of the (an in you% &ou
ha8e neglecte! the o(an% 4ook into yourself%$
, felt a stirring !eep ithin (e6 the cru(bling of the (any crusts of
insensiti8ity% , felt again the tearing anguish%
&ou ant affection6 Pupul6 an! you !o not fin! it% =hy !o you put out your
begging bol5$
, !on>t6$ , sai!% #hat is one thing , ha8e ne8er !one% , oul! rather !ie than
ask for affection%$
&ou ha8e not aske! for it% &ou ha8e s(othere! it% &et the begging bol is
alays there% ,f your bol as full you oul! not nee! to hol! it out% ,t is
because it is e(pty that it is there%$
7or an instant , looke! at (yself% As a chil! , ept so often% As an a!ult ,
per(itte! nothing to hurt (e% , turne! fro( it fiercely an! attacke!% /e sai!6 ,f
you lo8e6 then you !o not !e(an!% #hen if you fin! the person !oes not lo8e you6
you ill help the other to lo8e6 e8en though it is so(eone else%$
, sa (yself ith clarityHthe bitterness6 the har!ness% , turne! to hi(% ,t is
too horrible to look% =hat ha8e , (a!e of (yself5$
&ou are not sol8ing the proble( by criticiDing yourself% #here is no floing
richness in you6 otherise you oul! not nee! sy(pathy or affection% =hy ha8e
you no richness5 4ook6 this is hat you are% &ou !o not con!e(n a (an ho has
a !isease% #his is your !isease% 4ook at it cal(ly an! si(ply6 ith co(passion% ,t
oul! be stupi! to con!e(n or :ustify% #o con!e(n is another (o8e(ent of the
past to strengthen itself% 4ook at hat takes place in your conscious (in!% =hy
are you aggressi8e5 =hy !o you ant to be the center of any group5
As you look at the conscious (in!6 sloly the unconscious ill thro up its
inti(ationsHin !rea(s6 e8en in the aking state of thought%$
=e ha! been talking for o8er an hour6 but that span as (eaningless% ,n his
presence there as a shrinking of one>s sense of ti(e as !uration% , spoke to hi(
of the changes that ere taking place in (y life% , as no longer sure of (yself or
(y ork% Although !esires an! urges still arose6 they ha! no 8itality%
, tol! hi( , realiDe! that a great !eal of the ork , as !oing as base! on
self*aggran!iDe(ent% ,t no longer see(e! possible for (e to enter political life%
3y social life as also changing ra!ically% -f all things6 , coul! no longer play
poker% , ha! trie! to play6 but foun! that the intention to outit the other players
as lacking% "nbi!!en6 , ha! (o(ents of aareness in the (i!!le of playing
poker that (a!e bluffing i(possible% 'rishna:i put back his hea! an! laughe!
an! laughe! an! laughe!%
, tol! hi( that at ti(es , felt an i((ense inner balance6 like a bir! playing
ith the in!% All !esire !issol8e! in this intensity6 spent itself% At other ti(es ,
as sa(pe! in beco(ings% 3y (oorings ere going an! , as a!rift% , !i! not
kno hat lay ahea!% , ha! ne8er felt so unsure of (yself%
'rishna:i sai!6 #he see! has been plante!6 allo it to ger(inateHlet it lie
fallo for a hile% #his has been Cuite ne to you% Co(ing to it ith no
preconceptions6 no notions6 no beliefs6 the i(pact has been !irect6 the (in! no
ill nee! rest% 1on>t push it%$
=e sat Cuietly% 'rishna:i sai!6 =atch yourself% &ou ha8e a !ri8e fe o(en
possess% ,n this country (en an! o(en peter out so easily6 so early in life% ,t is
the cli(ate6 the ay of li8ing6 the stagnation% See that the !ri8e !oes not !rop
aay% ,n freeing yourself fro( aggression6 !on>t beco(e innocuous an! soft% #o
be free fro( aggression is not to beco(e eak or hu(ble%$
?epeate!ly6 he as to tell (e6 =atch your (in!6 let not a thought escape6
hoe8er ugly6 hoe8er brutal% =atch ithout choosing6 eighing6 :u!ging6
ithout gi8ing !irection or letting thought take root in the (in!% =atch
relentlessly%$
As , left the roo( he rose to see (e to the !oor% /is face as in repose6 his
bo!y sli(6 uprising like a !eo!ar tree% 7or an instant6 o8erhel(e! by his beauty6
, aske!6 =ho are you5$ /e sai!6 ,t !oes not (atter ho , a(% =hat you think
an! !o an! hether you can transfor( yourself is alone i(portant%$
As , :ourneye! ho(e , su!!enly realiDe! that6 in the (any con8ersations , ha!
ha! ith 'rishna:i6 he ha! ne8er sai! a or! about hi(self% #here ha! been no
reference to any personal eBperience6 not a single (o8e(ent of the self ha!
(anifeste! itself% ,t as this that (a!e hi( a stranger6 hoe8er ell you kne
hi(% ,n the (i!st of a gesture of frien!ship6 casual con8ersation6 one felt itHa
su!!en !istance6 silences that e(anate! fro( hi(6 a consciousness that ha! no
focal point% An! yet in his presence one felt the bounty of an infinite concern%
Part 1
#he &oung 'rishna(urti
189)*19+6
CHAPTER 1
,n Space -ne ,s Born an!
"nto Space -ne ,s Born%$
7ire! by the sun6 sculpture! rocks6 a(ongst the ol!est in the orl!6 cra!le! the
8illage of 3a!anapalle in the Chittoor !istrict of An!hra Pra!esh6 South ,n!ia%
7ro( the sacre! site of #irupati through ?ishi Falley to Anantpur stretche! hills
toppe! ith rocky boul!ers6 intersperse! ith s(all 8alleys% ?ainfall as
(ini(al6 population sparse% #a(arin! an! gul (ohar trees pro8i!e! sha!e an!
eBplo!ing color% ,t as sacre! earth6 punyastha6 here (ystics an! saints ha!
li8e! an! taught for centuries6 their bo!ies burie! there to sanctify the soil% /ere6
on 3ay 1.6 189)6 at thirty (inutes after (i!night6 a son as born to
San:ee8a((a6 the ife of Ji!!u @arianiah6 a (inor ci8il ser8ant%
#he ancestors of Ji!!u 'rishna(urti6 a Brah(in of the Felana!u subcaste6
originally ca(e fro( ;i!!u or Ji!!u6 a 8illage that lies in the (i!st of the fertile
pa!!y fiel!s of coastal An!hra% 'rishna(urti>s paternal gran!father6 ;uru(urti6
as also a (inor ci8il ser8antG but his gran!father6 ?a(akrishna6 renone! for
his great learning6 his knole!ge of Sanskrit an! the !"das6 hel! a responsible
position in the :u!icial !epart(ent of the British Aast ,n!ia Co(pany%
#he house of @arianiah in 3a!anapalle6 one of the (ost !rought*prone areas
of South ,n!ia6 as tinyG ill*8entilate! an! to*storie!6 it ha! a narro frontage
that opene! onto a lane6 along hich floe! an open !rain% All ater for
@arianiah>s ho(e as !ran fro( a nearby ell an! taken by ater carriers to
be store! ithin the house in large6 burnishe! brass 8essels or earthen pots%
'rishna(urti as born to San:ee8a((a in the puja roo( of her ho(e%
1
#he
significance of this has been (isse! by 'rishna(urti>s biographers% #o a
tra!itional /in!u6 li8ing a(ongst the sno*peake! /i(alayas or in 'anyaku(ari
in the !eep South6 in urban !elling or 8illage hut6 the puja roo( as the
sanctu(6 the heart of the ho(e6 here the griha d"vatas6 the househol! go!s6
ere enshrine!G it as a roo( (a!e auspicious ith floers an! incense an! the
recitation of sacre! (antras% #he roo( for the go!s coul! only be entere! after a
ritual bath an! the earing of fresh clothes% Birth6 !eath6 an! the (enstrual cycle
ere the focus of ritual pollution% At birth an! !eath the househol!er an! his
fa(ily share! in the pollution an! refraine! fro( perfor(ing the !aily pujaG
instea!6 a Brah(in fro( the local te(ple as in8ite! to perfor( the !aily rituals%
#hat a chil! shoul! be born in this roo( as unthinkable%
@arianiah>s ife an! cousin6 San:ee8a((a6 as a !e8out an! charitable
o(an% She as consi!ere! psychic6 eBperience! 8isions6 an! coul! see the
colors in people>s auras% As a (usician>s ear is tune! to a perfectly stringe!
instru(ent6 so as a (other her ear as tune! to the heartbeats of the baby that
aite! in the crucible of her bo!y6 soon to start its passage through the portals of
life% ,nti(ations of the uniCueness of this birth (ust ha8e gi8en her prophetic
8ision an! courage6 otherise she coul! not ha8e so challenge! the go!s%
Aarly in the e8ening of 3ay 116 San:ee8a((a felt inti(ations of the
i((inent birth of the chil!% #his chil! oul! be her eighth6 an! she as ell
aare of the routine preparations necessary for the nati8ity% So she prepare! the
roo(6 sang #elugu
1
songs to her husban! in her (elo!ious 8oice6 an! reste! on a
(at in the upper story of the buil!ing% #oar! the (i!!le of the night the pains
starte!% She oke @arianiah6 ent to the roo( she ha! prepare!6 an! lay !on
on a (at for the birth% A local o(an6 a relati8e ho as ell*8erse! in the
eBperience of chil!birth6 ca(e to help hile her husban! aite! outsi!e%
San:ee8a((a ha! little pain% #hroughout the perio! the only or!s she uttere!
ere6 Rama# Rama# Anjan"ya#$ another na(e for /anu(an%
.
At 1.20< A%3%6 in
the early (orning of 3ay 1.6 the o(an atten!ant opene! the !oor an! sai! to
@arianiah6 $irsodayam6 the hea! is 8isible%$ Accor!ing to tra!ition6 that is the
precise (o(ent of birth%
,n this tiny roo( lit ith oil la(ps6 in the presence of the ishta !e8ata6 the
househol! go!6 'rishna(urti took his first breath% 7ro( the protecte! spaces of
the o(b the baby entere! the spaces of the orl!%
,n space one is born an! unto space one is born%$
.
#he chil!>s horoscope as cast the neBt (orning by 'u(ara Shrothulu6 a
ell*knon astrologer of that region% /e tol! @arianiah that this ne son oul!
be a 8ery great (an% #he astrological chart as co(pleBG the chil! oul!
encounter (any obstacles before he gre to be a great #eacher%
7or ele8en !ays of the prescribe! perio!6 the baby reste! in an at(osphere
that recreate! the a(bience of the o(b% /e lay in se(i!arkness6 gently rocke!
in a cloth cra!le neBt to his (other% As in all ortho!oB /in!u births6
'rishna(urti>s entry into the !aDDling light of the sun an! the orl! as gra!ual%
-n the siBth !ay after birth the na(e*gi8ing cere(ony as hel!% ,t as
ine8itable in this tra!ition*boun! fa(ily that the eighth son be gi8en the na(e
'rishna(urti6 sy(bolic of 'rishna6 the coher!*go! ho as the eighth chil!%
#hree years later6 in 18986 another boy as born to San:ee8a((a% /e as
na(e! @ityanan!a6 eternal bliss%$
=hen 'rishna as siB years ol! the upanayanama as perfor(e!% #his is a
cere(ony of initiation into %rahma&harya6 the perio! of chaste !iscipleship that
is the first stage in the life of a Brah(in% #he cere(ony took place at 'a!iri6
here @arianiah as poste!%
#he sacre! han!spun threa! as place! aroun! 'rishna>s shoul!ers an! the
secret gayatri (antra6 the in8ocation to the sun6 as hispere! into 'rishna>s ear
by his father% /e as taught to recite the (antra ith the correct intonation6
accent6 an! gesture% /e (ust ha8e learne! to recite the gayatri (antra to the sun
at !an an! perfor( the San!hya rituals at sunset6 to take ritual baths6 an! to be
1
#elugu is a 1ra8i!ian language spoken by the people of An!hra Pra!esh in ,n!ia% ,t has a large nu(ber
of Sanskrit or!s inclu!e! in it%
.
/anu(an6 the (onkey !e8otee of the !i8ine hero ?a(a of the epic the Ramayana6 is a people>s go!6
i!ely orshipe! throughout ,n!ia% ,n South ,n!ia he is also knon as An:aneya%
free of any for( of ritual pollution% /e (ust ha8e also been taught to recite the
!"das%
Accor!ing to @arianiah>s !escription6 ,t is a cere(ony hich Brah(in boys
go through hen it is ti(e to launch the( out into the orl! of e!ucation% ,t
takes place beteen the age of fi8e an! se8en years6 accor!ing to the health an!
capacity of the chil!% So hen 'rishna ha! reache! that age6 a !ay as set apart
for this cere(ony% ,t is our custo( to (ake it a fa(ily festi8al6 an! frien!s an!
relations are in8ite! to !inner%$
=hen all the people ere asse(ble!6 'rishna as bathe! an! clothe! in ne
clothes% #he boy as then brought in an! place! upon his father>s knees6 hile
@arianiah>s outstretche! han! supporte! a sil8er tray stren ith grains of rice%
/is (other6 sitting besi!e @arianiah6 then took the in!eB finger of the boy>s right
han!6 an! ith it trace! in the rice the sacre! or! A"36 hich in its Sanskrit
ren!ering consists of a single letterHthe first letter of the alphabet in Sanskrit
an! in all the 8ernacular languages%
#hen6$ says @arianiah6 (y ring as taken fro( (y finger6 an! place!
beteen the chil!>s finger an! thu(bG an! (y ife6 hol!ing the little han!6 again
trace! the sacre! or! in #elugu character ith the ring% #hen again6 ithout the
ring6 the sa(e letter as trace! three ti(es% After this6 (antra(s ere recite! by
the officiating priest ho blesse! the boy that he (ight be spiritually an!
intellectually en!oe!% #hen6 taking 'rishna6 (y ife an! , !ro8e to the
@arasi(hasa(i te(ple to orship an! pray for the future success of our son%
7ro( there e !ro8e to the nearest school6 here 'rishna as han!e! o8er to the
teacher6 ho perfor(e!6 in san!6 the sa(e cere(ony of tracing the sacre! or!%
3eanhile6 (any of the schoolchil!ren ha! gathere! in the roo(6 an! e
!istribute! a(ong the( such goo! things as (ight ser8e as a treat to the pupils%
So e starte! our son on his e!ucational career6 accor!ing to our custo(% #hen
e !ro8e ho(e an! partook of !inner ith our relations an! frien!s%$
0
'rishna an! his brother @itya ere 8ery close6 but by nature they ere totally
!ifferent% @itya as re(arkably intelligent% A8en before he coul! talk6 hen he
sa other boys going to school6 he oul! pick up a slate an! pencil an! follo
the(%$
+
'rishna(urti as a eak chil! an! suffere! grie8ously fro( bouts of
(alaria% At one stage he suffere! fro( con8ulsions6 an! for a hole year as
kept aay fro( school because of blee!ing fro( the nose an! (outh%
'rishna(urti took little interest in the school an! aca!e(ic ork6 but spent
long hours looking at the clou!s6 at bees6 at ants an! insects6 an! gaDing into the
8ast !istance% /e has been !escribe! as sickly an! (entally un!e8elope!% /is
8agueness6 fe or!s6 lack of interest in orl!ly affairs6 an! eyes that gaDe! out
at the orl!6 seeing beyon! horiDons6 ere (istaken by his teacher for (ental
retar!ation%
#he young 'rishna(urti6 !espite his see(ing 8agueness6 as greatly
intereste! in all (echanical contri8ances% -ne !ay 'rishna (isse! school%
Seeking hi(6 his (other foun! hi( alone in a roo(6 totally absorbe! in opening
up a ti(epiece% /e oul! not (o8e fro( the roo(6 an! refuse! all foo! an!
!rink until he ha! taken the clock apart an!6 ha8ing un!erstoo! ho it orke!6
put the (achinery back in its place%
#he boy 'rishna as !eeply attache! to his (other6 ho see(e! to be aare
of her son>s uniCue nature%
)
San:ee8a((a !ie! in 19<)6 an! her !eath left the
chil! 'rishna beil!ere! an! bereft% 3any years later6 in the su((er of 19106
hen he as in Aurope6 he !eci!e! to start riting his autobiography% /e ga8e it
the title 7ifty &ears of 3y 4ife6$ inten!ing as the years passe! to a!! fresh
inci!ents6 an! by the year 19+) , shall ha8e :ustifie! the title%$
6
Alas6 the story
as to be aban!one! after the first fe pages% #he short (anuscript6 hoe8er6
thros 8ery interesting light on his feelings an! his early life ith his (other% At
age eighteen his chil!hoo! (e(ories ere still 8i8i!6 an! there is a poignancy in
his !escription of the 8isions of his (other after her !eath2
#he happiest (e(ories of (y chil!hoo! centre roun! (y !ear (other6 ho ga8e us all the
lo8ing care for hich ,n!ian (others are ell*knon% , cannot say that , as particularly happy
at school6 for the teachers ere not 8ery kin! an! ga8e (e lessons hich ere too har! for (e% ,
en:oye! ga(es as long as they ere not too rough6 as , ha! 8ery !elicate health% 3y (other>s
!eath in 19<) !epri8e! (y brothers an! (yself of the one ho lo8e! an! care! for us (ost6 an!
(y father as too (uch occupie! ith his business to pay (uch attention to us% , le! the usual
life as an or!inary ,n!ian youth until , ca(e to A!yar in 19<8 Kin fact it as January 19<9L%
A!yar as of special interest to (e as (y father use! to atten! the con8entions of the
#heosophical Society there% /e also hel! (eetings in our house at 3a!anapalle for the stu!y of
#heosophy an! , learnt about A!yar fro( (y (other an! fro( hi(% 3y (other ha! a puja
roo( here she orshippe! regularlyG in the roo( ere pictures of the ,n!ian !eities an! also a
photograph of 3rs% Besant in ,n!ian !ress sitting cross*legge! on a &howki or s(all platfor( on
hich as a tiger*skin%
, as generally at ho(e hile (y brothers ere at school for , suffere! (uch fro( fe8erH
in fact al(ost e8ery !ay6 an! , often ent into the pu:a roo( about noon hen she perfor(e!
her !aily cere(onies% She oul! then talk to (e about 3rs% Besant an! about 'ar(a an!
reincarnation an! also rea! to (e fro( the Maha%harata an! Ramayana an! fro( other ,n!ian
scriptures% , as only about 9 or 8 years of age6 so , coul! not un!erstan! (uch6 but , think , felt
(uch that , coul! not actually un!erstan!%
=riting of (y (other re(in!s (e of so(e inci!ents hich are perhaps orth (entioning%
She as to a certain eBtent psychic6 an! oul! often see (y sister ho ha! !ie! so(e to or
three years before% #hey talke! together an! there as a special place in the gar!en to hich (y
sister use! to co(e% 3y (other alays kne hen (y sister as there an! so(eti(es took (e
ith her to the place an! oul! ask (e hether , sa (y sister too% At first , laughe! at the
Cuestion but she aske! (e to look again an! then so(eti(es , sa (y sister% Afterar!s ,
alays coul! see (y sister% , (ust confess , as 8ery (uch afrai!6 because , ha! seen her !ea!
an! her bo!y burnt% , generally rushe! to (y (other>s si!e an! she tol! (e that there as no
reason to be afrai!% , as the only (e(ber of the fa(ily6 eBcept (y (other6 to see these
8isions6 though all belie8e! in the(% 3y (other as also able to see the auras of people6 an! ,
also so(eti(es sa the(% , !o not think she kne hat the colours (eant% #here ere (any
other inci!ents of a si(ilar nature hich , !o not no re(e(ber% =e often talke! about Sri
'rishna to ho( , felt specially attracte! an! , once aske! her hy he as alays represente!
as being blue in colour% She tol! (e that /is aura as blue but ho she kne that , !o not
kno%
3y (other as 8ery charitable% She as kin! to poor boys6 an! ga8e foo! regularly to those
ho ere of her on caste% Aach boy ca(e to our house on a special !ay in the eek6 an! ent
to other houses on other !ays% =e ha! !aily a nu(ber of beggars ho often ca(e fro( so(e
consi!erable !istance to recei8e rice6 da an! fro( ti(e to ti(e clothes%
Before co(ing to A!yar (y brothers an! , atten!e! (any schools6 the pleasantest of hich
as the school in 3a!anapalle% , first ent to this school hen Cuite a chil!6 for , as born in
3a!anapalle% 3y father being a go8ern(ent officer6 he as continually being transferre! fro(
one place to another6 an! so our e!ucation as (uch interrupte!%
After (y (other>s !eath6 (atters ere orse6 for there as really nobo!y to look after us%
,n connection ith (y (other>s !eath6 , (ay (ention that , freCuently sa her after she !ie!6 ,
re(e(ber once folloing (y (other>s for( as it ent upstairs% , stretche! out (y han! an!
see(e! to catch hol! of her !ress6 but she 8anishe! as soon as e reache! the top of the stairs%
"ntil a short ti(e ago6 , use! to hear (y (other folloing (e as , ent to school% , re(e(ber
this particularly because , hear! the soun! of the bangles hich ,n!ian o(en ear on their
rists% At first , oul! look back half*frightene! an! , sa the 8ague for( of her !ress an! part
of her face% #his happene! al(ost alays hen , ent out of the house%
CHAPTER 2
#he #heosophical Society
an! the -ccult /ierarchy
3a!a(e /elena Petro8na Bla8atsky M1801*1891N6 often calle! /% P% B%6 as by
all accounts an eBtraor!inary o(an% =ith her psychic 8ision an! piercing
(es(eric eyes6 an! ith a personality that pro8oke! contro8ersy6 she ha!
appeare! on the ,n!ian scene in 1899% A ?ussian by birth6 she clai(e! to ha8e
li8e! in #ibet for se8eral years in close contact ith the 3ahat(as
1
or 3asters of
the occult brotherhoo!% ,t as there that she learne! fro( her guru6 her teacher6
the ell*guar!e! !octrines of the #ibetan sages% =hile she as in Aurope in 1890
her 3asters aske! her to seek out Colonel /enry Steele -lcott6 a fello psychic
researcher in the "nite! States% -be!iently6 she ent there6 (et Colonel -lcott6
an! by 189) the #heosophical Society ha! been concei8e!% #hey ere soon to
tra8el togetherHfirst to Bo(bay an! then to Ceylon6 here they took Bu!!hist
initiation6 an! later to 3a!ras% By 188. the #heosophical Society>s /ea!Cuarters
ha! been establishe! at A!yar6 3a!ras%
#he #heosophical Society as base! on the tenets of a "ni8ersal Brotherhoo!
of hu(anity6 hich sought to stu!y ancient is!o( an! to eBplore the hi!!en
(ysteries of nature an! the latent poers of (an% ,t establishe! an occult
hierarchy !raing fro( the /in!u an! Bu!!hist tra!itions6 in particular the
#ibetan tantric teBts an! teachings%
At the hea! of the hierarchy as Sanat 'u(ar6 (entione! in the #antras6 in
the Bhag8at6 an! in early alche(ic riting6 as a youth of siBteen6 eternally
young6 free of all ti(e6 as past6 present6 an! futureG he as regar!e! in the
#heosophical hierarchy as the lor! of the orl!% Belo 'u(ar as the Bu!!ha%
An! belo the Bu!!ha ere the three hea!s of the logos of the solar syste(2 the
bo!hisatt8a 3aitreya6 the Bu!!ha to beG the 3ahachohan6 a figure not to be
foun! in any /in!u or Bu!!hist scripturesG an! the 3anu6 one of the fathers of
hu(ankin!6 accor!ing to the Rig !"da% ?especti8ely6 they sy(boliDe! the heart
as co(passion6 the hea! as intellect6 an! the han!s as skill in action% Belo the(
ere the 3ahat(as or 3asters6 ho in years to co(e oul! the(sel8es e8ol8e
to be bo!hisatt8as an! 3ahachohans% 3aster 'oot /oo(i Mor 3aster '% /%6 as he
as knonN ha! the bo!y of a 'ash(iri Brah(in6 hile 3aster 3orya M3aster
3%N ha! the bo!y of a ?a:put prince% #hese to 3asters gui!e! the affairs of the
#heosophical Society an! the !isciples ho ent through 8arious initiations
un!er their benign gui!ance%
#oar! the en! of the nineteenth century hispers of the co(ing of the
3essiah or the =orl! #eacher ha! sprea! a(ongst occult co((unities% /% P% B%
1
Mahatma6 a Sanskrit ter( (eaning great spirit6$ great soul6$ a!ept6$ or (aster%$
ha! ritten before her !eath in 1891 that the real purpose of the #heosophical
Society as to prepare for the a!8ent of the =orl! #eacher%
,n 1889 Annie Besant M18+9*1900N chance! to rea! Bla8atsky>s $"&r"t
'o&trin"6 an! later (et the foun!er of the #heosophical Society% Besant6 or A%
B%6 ha! been a rebel6 a free thinker6 a fierce fighter for the causes she hel! to be
right% AloCuent an! !e!icate!6 she ha! an organiDational capacity of a 8ery high
or!er% She as a passionate crusa!er for free!o( of thought6 o(en>s rights6
tra!e unionis(6 7abian socialis(6 an! birth control% But Bla8atsky>s ork
transfor(e! her co(pletely% She turne! her enor(ous energies fro( (aterialis(
an! atheis( to the pursuit of the occult an! sacre!% /er frien!s an! a!(irersH
a(ong the( Bernar! Sha6 Si!ney an! Beatrice =ebb an! Charles Bra!laughH
ere stunne! hen she :oine! the #heosophical Society% Parting fro( her for(er
associates6 an! aare of the cynicis( her ne role oul! arouse in her a!(irers6
she rote2
But here6 as at other ti(es6 in (y life6 , !are not purchase peace ith a lie% An i(perious
necessity forces (e to speak the truth6 as , see it6 hether the speech please or !isplease6
hether it brings praise or bla(e% #hat one loyalty to #ruth , (ust keep stainless6 hate8er
frien!ships fail (e or hu(an ties be broken% She (ay lea! (e into the il!erness6 yet , (ust
follo herG she (ay strip (e of all lo8e6 yet , (ust pursue her6 though she slay (e6 yet ill ,
trust in herG an! , ask no other epitaph on (y to(b but
She trie! to follo #ruth%$
1
=ith her arri8al in ,n!ia in 1890 at the age of forty*siB6 the passionate !ialogue
an! in8ol8e(ent ith ,n!ia that as to continue throughout her life ha!
co((ence!%
She sense! the lack of interest in ,n!ia for hat she felt as its true (ission
in the orl!Hthe country>s genius for religions an! spiritual knole!ge% She
(a!e this point in one of her first speeches2
,f religion perish here6 it ill perish e8eryhere an! in ,n!ia>s han! is lai! the sacre! charge of
keeping alight the torch of spirit a(i! the fogs an! stor(s of increasing (aterialis(% ,f that
torch !rops fro( her han!s6 its fla(e ill be tra(ple! out by the feet of hurrying (ultitu!es6
eager for orl!ly goo!sG an! ,n!ia6 bereft of spirituality6 ill ha8e no future6 but ill pass on
into the !arkness6 as ;reece an! ?o(e ha8e passe!%
.
Annie Besant stu!ie! the sacre! books of ,n!ia6 learne! Sanskrit6 hel!
!iscussions ith the religious lea!ers of the lan!% ,nspire! by the passion of her
or!s6 (any intellectuals an! young aspirants flocke! to her an! :oine! the
#heosophical Society% 4istening ith rapt attention an! fire! by her eloCuence
as a young boy6 tel8e*year*ol! Jaaharlal @ehru% /e ha! co(e to hear 3rs%
Besant un!er the influence of his Belgian*,rish tutor6 7er!nan! #% Brooks6 an
ar!ent #heosophist%
7ascinate! by the !octrine an! by Besant>s eloCuence6 he ha! gone to his
father6 3otilal @ehru Mthe nationalist an! flourishing layer ho oul! later
for( the Congress partyN6 an! aske! for per(ission to :oin the #heosophical
Society% 3otilal @ehru laughe!% /e ha! also been a (e(ber of the #heosophical
Society in the !ays of 3a!a(e Bla8atsky% Per(ission as gi8en6 an! at thirteen
Jaaharlal @ehru beca(e a (e(ber an! as initiate! by 3rs% Besant herself% /e
atten!e! a con8ention in Faranasi an! sa Colonel -lcott ith his hite bear!%
=ith the young @ehru>s !eparture for /arro6 #heosophy pro(ptly fa!e! fro(
his consciousness% But the three years of his contact ith it oul! lea8e an
i(pression on hi( an! his character6 hich he oul! later acknole!ge in his
a!(iration for Annie Besant%
0
=ith the !eath of Colonel -lcott in 19<96 Annie Besant beca(e presi!ent of
the #heosophical Society% A eb of intrigue an! a fierce !i8ision of forces ithin
the #heosophical Society ha! prece!e! this e8ent% Soon after 3rs% Besant took
o8er6 she ca(e into close contact ith Charles =ebster 4ea!beater or C% =% 4%
M18+9*190+N6 an eB*Anglican clergy(an ith repute! poers of clair8oyance%
So(e years earlier inci!ents connecting hi( ith ho(oseBual relations ith
young boys ha! le! to his being eBpelle! fro( the SocietyG but 3rs% Besant6
aare of his psychic perceptions an! refusing to accept the charges against hi(6
ha! rea!(itte! hi( to the Society as soon as she beca(e presi!ent% 4ea!beater
as soon to rise high in the #heosophical Society hierarchy%
@arianiah retire! fro( go8ern(ent ser8ice in 19<8% -n his (eager pension of
1.) rupees a (onth6 he foun! it i(possible to (aintain his enlarge! fa(ilyH
apart fro( his sons he also ha! the responsibility for supporting his sister an! his
nephes% /e ha! :oine! the #heosophical Society in 188.6 an! he no rote to
Annie Besant asking for a :ob in A!yar% At first she ha! refuse! hi(6 aare of
the proble(s his large fa(ily oul! pose to the peace an! Cuiet of the
#heosophical Society ca(pus% But @arianiah persiste!6 an! soon he as in
A!yar6 orking as assistant secretary to the Asoteric Section MA% S%N% /e took a
tiny house outsi!e the A!yar co(poun!G his sister o8ersa the !o(estic
arrange(ents%
'rishna an! his brother @itya ha! to alk e8ery !ay to atten! school at
3ylapore6 here 'rishna>s inattention resulte! in se8ere punish(ent% /e
re(aine! 8ague an! unintereste! in his stu!iesG his teacher consi!ere! hi( half*
!e(ente!% But 'rishna(urti>s aunt as eBtre(ely fon! of the !rea(y*eye!6
unorl!ly young 'rishna an!6 sensing an incipient is!o(6 na(e! hi(
1ronachari6 after 1rona6 the guru of the Pan!a8as an! the 'aura8as in the epic
Maha%harata%
@arianiah>s sons use! to go bathing in the sea on the A!yar beach6 here
4ea!beater sa the(% ,n 1899 the sub:ect of 3rs% Besant>s lecture at A!yar as
A8atars%$ ,n 19<86 !uring her hirlin! tour of the "nite! States6 she spoke
incessantly of the i((inent co(ing of the =orl! #eacher% 7or !ays 4ea!beater
atche! 'rishna(urti6 groing aare of the presence of the young boy an! the
uniCue aura that containe! no selfishness%
-ne e8ening 3r% 4ea!beater6 on returning to his roo( after his usual si(6
tol! Arnest =oo!6 a young (an ho as helping 4ea!beater in his occult
stu!ies6 that one of the boys ha! a re(arkable auraG it as 'rishna(urti% =oo!
eBpresse! surpriseHhe kne the boys6 an! 'rishna(urti as certainly not one
of the bright ones% But 3r% 4ea!beater persiste! that it as 'rishna(urti ho
oul! one !ay beco(e a spiritual teacher an! a great speaker% =oo! aske!6
/o great5 As great as 3rs% Besant5$ 4ea!beater is sai! to ha8e replie!6 3uch
greater%$
+
'rishna(urti !escribe! his (eeting ith 4ea!beaterHho as Cuite
possibly the first Auropean he ha! e8er (etHin his autobiography2
=hen e first ent to A!yar e li8e! in a house close to the ne printing press% A8ery !ay e
alke! to the 3ylapore high school% ,n the early (ornings an! in the e8enings e prepare! our
ho(e lessons% After so(e ti(e e began to pa!!le in the sea ith so(e other boys ho li8e!
near% -n one of these occasions6 in the year 19<96 e (et for the first ti(e (y !ear frien! an!
el!er brother6 C% =% 4ea!beater% #he (eeting as Cuite casual%
As far as , re(e(ber6 he M4ea!beaterN as going !on to the sea ith 3r% Fan 3anen an!
others to ha8e a si(% , !o not re(e(ber any particular con8ersation6 especially as , !i! not
kno Anglish at all ell% After this e (et 8ery often an! he so(eti(es in8ite! us to his house
or rather bungalo% /e as li8ing at the ti(e of hich , rite in hat is knon as the ri8er
bungalo%
=hen , first ent o8er to his roo( , as (uch afrai!6 for (ost ,n!ian boys are afrai! of
Auropeans% , !o not kno ho it is that such fear is create!G but one of the causes6 there as6
hen , as a boy6 (uch political agitation an! our i(aginations ere (uch stirre! by the
gossip about us% , (ust also confess that the Auropeans in ,n!ia are by no (eans generally kin!
to us6 an! , use! to see (any acts of cruelty hich (a!e us still (ore bitter% , ish the Anglish
people in ,n!ia coul! un!erstan! that ,n!ian boys ha8e as !eep a lo8e for ,n!ia as the Anglish
ha8e for their on country an! feel as !eeply any insult6 hoe8er unintentional%
,t as a surprise to us6 therefore6 to fin! ho !ifferent as the Anglish(an ho as also a
#heosophist% =e soon beca(e 8ery frien!ly ith 3r% 4ea!beater6 an! he helpe! us regularly
ith our lessons% So(eti(e later 3r% ?% B% Clarke6 a young engineer6 arri8e! at A!yar an! it
as arrange! ith (y father that (y brother @itya an! , shoul! lea8e school an! be taught at
A!yar by 3r% 4ea!beater an! 3r% Clarke% =e soon began to (ake (uch better progress than e
ha! e8er (a!e before% 4ife beca(e 8ery regular% =e ca(e to 3r% 4ea!beater>s bungalo early
in the (orning6 stu!ie! until hat (ight be calle! breakfast6 hich e took at ho(e6 an! then
returne! to hi(% ,n the afternoon e playe! tennis or ent to the sea to learn si((ing% 3y
father as 8ery please! ith the progress e ere to (ake an! on August 1+th it as finally
!eci!e! that e shoul! not go to school any (ore%
)
'rishna(urti ha! co(e to be notice! by 4ea!beater at a ti(e hen the
Anglish(an as un!ertaking a clair8oyant in8estigation into the for(er li8es of
his associates% Soon he began to probe into the for(er incarnations of
'rishna(urti% #hese forays into 'rishna>s occult past ere later publishe! as the
li8es of Alcyone%$ #he na(e Alcyone as !eri8e! fro( the halcyon6$ the
brightest star in the Pleia!es% #he in8estigations re8eale! a lu(inous array of past
births here 'rishna ha! been a !isciple of the Bu!!ha6 an! other on!rous
births here his co(passion an! is!o( ha! heale! an! illu(ine!%
At the ti(e the boys ere foun!6 they ha! the front of their hea!s sha8en Mas
as the custo( in south ,n!iaNG 'rishna(urti ha! long hair !on to his knees%
/e as thin an! ill*nourishe!% Soon 'rishna(urti an! his brother @itya ha!
starte! their stu!ies in A!yar% At first strict caste rules on foo! ere (aintaine!6
but they ere relaBe! as 4ea!beater>s i(patience gre an! he began eaning the
boys aay fro( their father>s influence% @arianiah in turn began to create
!ifficulties% ,((e!iately6 4ea!beater rote to 3rs% Besant that the (an ha! lost
his sanity an! fallen un!er the influence of the Blacks%$ ,t as then that
instructions ere recei8e!$ by 4ea!beater fro( 3aster 'oot /oo(i% #he
(essage as as follos2
#hey ha8e li8e! long in hellG try to sho the( so(ething of para!ise% , ant the( to ha8e
e8erything the opposite of those pre8ious con!itions% ,nstea! of hostility6 !istrust6 (isery6
sCualor6 irregularity6 carelessness an! foulness6 , ant the( to be surroun!e! by an at(osphere
of lo8e an! happiness6 confi!ence6 regularity6 perfect physical cleanliness an! (ental purity%%%
'eep the( as far as you can ithin your aura an! Annie>s so that they (ay be protecte! fro(
e8il an! carnal thoughts%%% , ant you to ci8ilise the(G to teach the( to use spoons an! forks6
nail brushes an! tooth brushes6 to sit at ease upon chairs instea! of crouching on the groun!6 to
sleep rationally on a be!6 not in a corner like a !og%
6
,t is inconcei8able that a 3aster of is!o(Hho as also a 'ash(iri
Brah(inHcoul! ha8e ritten this letter6 loa!e! as it is ith colonial o8ertones
an! ith its ob8ious Fictorian bias% #he conte(pt ith hich the British in ,n!ia
regar!e! ,n!ian culture an! li8ing habits is e8i!ent in this letter% ,t as ritten at
a ti(e hen the South ,n!ian (an6 o(an6 an! chil!6 rich or poor6 sat an! slept
on a (at on the floor6 an! here the :oint fa(ily pro8i!e! ar(th an! a sense of
belonging rare in the =est%
,t is also !ifficult to belie8e that the brothers ere !irty in their habitsG as
Brah(ins6 they (ust ha8e bathe! se8eral ti(es a !ay% ?itual bathing prece!e! by
an oil bath as a !iscipline closely folloe!% #he teeth ere regularly cleane! by
the tig of a nee( tree6 perhaps the best !isinfectant that eBistsG !aily clothes
ashing (ust also ha8e been part of the regular chores of the househol!%
,n the first half of the tentieth century the ,n!ian as regar!e! by the British
rulers of ,n!ia as a necessary part of the lan!scapeHto be kept at a sufficient
!istance6 to be at best tolerate!G but un!er no circu(stances as an ,n!ian
encourage! to be fa(iliar6 an! an attitu!e of con!escension per8a!e! (ost
relationships% ,t as in this (ilieu that the boy 'rishna6 born a Brah(in but to a
fa(ily 8ery lo in the official hierarchy6 ca(e to be recogniDe! by an eccentric
British (ystic6 in a flash of psychic insight6 as a great being6 an! later as the
8ehicle for the a!8ent of the Bo!hisatt8a 3aitreya%
'rishna an! @itya ere taken fro( the confines of their tiny house into the
gran!eur of the #heosophical Society hea!Cuarters buil!ings an! its 8ast
groun!s% #hey ere taken o8er by C% =% 4%6 a long*bear!e!6 8enerable*looking
hite (an ho spoke an esoteric language of lu(inous 3asters an! initiates6
past li8es an! splen!i! incarnations% #he eBtra*sensiti8e ner8ous syste( an!
perceptions of 'rishna6 keye! to a state of eBpectancy6 possibly !i! touch
treasures of the racial unconscious% /is Brah(inic backgroun! an! its
iconography pro8i!e! the arp to the oof of #heosophical Society i(agery%
#hought for(s an! 8isual i(ages circulating in the at(osphere of A!yar6
charge! ith occult truths an! illusions6 ere (a!e (anifest to the young
neophyte% As the boy 'rishna ha! seen 8isions of the !i8ine chil! 'rishna in the
!e8out ho(e of his (other6 so he no sa the 3asters6 the Bu!!ha6 an! Sanat
'u(arHthe s(iling6 sun*fille! youth ho as the hea! of the #heosophical
Society hierarchy% #he esoteric forces6 if they eBiste!6 an! certainly 4ea!beater6
!e(an!e! for their 8ehicle a Brah(in bo!y6 ith its heritage of sensiti8ity6
8egetarianis(6 an! cleanliness6 ith a brain that through centuries ha! been
concerne! ith otherness6 ith the subtlety6 strength an! perception necessary to
clea8e into the ithin of (in! an! (atter6 ith the capability of recei8ing the
8ast 8olu(es of energy it oul! be calle! upon to hol!%
,ronically6 once they ha! been accepte! into the #heosophical fol!6
e8erything possible as !one to see that 'rishna an! @itya ere strippe! of all
,n!ianness% ,t is al(ost certain that 'rishna(urti>s (entors !eci!e! that he an!
his brother ere to speak only Anglish6 so the (elo!ious #elugu language as
sloly forgottenG the !"das an! the hy(ns learnt in chil!hoo! ere ipe! aay%
#heir hair as cut an! hal8e! by a central parting% #hey ere taught AnglishG
they learne! ho to eat ith a spoon an! fork an! to keep their elbos close to
their bo!y hen they raise! their forks to their (outhsG to ear =estern clothes
ith easeG to see that the crease of their trousers as presse! an! to polish their
shoes till they shone% #hey ere taught ho to bathe the British ay% #he boys
ere to beco(e Anglish gentle(en because in 4ea!beater>s sche(e of e8olution6
Anglish gentle(en represente! the pinnacle of hu(an !e8elop(ent%$
9
7ortunately6 the outer 8eneer an! e!ucation left no (ark on the (in! that lay
in abeyance6 untouche!% Perhaps it as right that the boy6 !estine! to be a
#eacher ho oul! alk the orl!6 ha! to be free! fro( a con!ition of birth an!
country% #o fulfill his !estiny no frontiers coul! contain or restrain hi(%
Accor!ing to C% Jinara:a!asa6 later to be presi!ent of the #heosophical
Society6 the training as strictly regi(ente!% 3eals6 stu!y6 an! ga(es ere on an
absolute sche!ule inten!e! to teach the boys alertness to ti(e an! circu(stances%
Bicycling as not for fun6 but to teach self*reliance an! resistance to fatigue% -n
one occasion they ere (a!e to cycle to Chingelpet an! back6 a total of siBty*
four (iles% #o eli(inate fear6 4ea!beater rea! the( bloo!cur!ling ghost stories%
8
Speaking to us of this perio! of his life se8enty*fi8e years later6 'rishna(urti
spoke of the boy 'rishna an! his relationship to 4ea!beater% #he boy ha!
alays sai!6 O, ill !o hate8er you ant%> #here as an ele(ent of
subser8ience6 obe!ience% #he boy as 8ague6 uncertain6 oollyG he !i!n>t see(
to care hat as happening% /e as like a 8essel6 ith a large hole in it6
hate8er as put in6 ent through6 nothing re(aine!%$ #hey calle! hi( the
8ehicle6 he accepte! that ithout any Cuestion% #here as no resistance in hi(6
no !oubt nor Cuestioning% 'rishna(urti also spoke of the boy>s psychic poers%
/e coul! rea! hat as in a close! letter6 rea! people>s thoughts6 see fairies% But
he appeare! totally unaare of the significance of these eBtrasensory facultiesG
for hi( they ere of no account%
#he 3asters ha! instructe! 3rs% Besant an! 4ea!beater to protect the bo!y of
'rishna(urti for to years an! so prepare it for the (anifestation% A8erything
as !one to ensure thisG 'rishna:i oul! later say that although 4ea!beater an!
others !eter(ine! the con!itions in hich the outer life of 'rishna(urti oul!
!e8elop6 no atte(pt as (a!e to interfere ith the boy>s psyche or to (ol! his
brain6 for they sai!6 #he 4or! is preparing it%$
4ea!beater as often i(patient ith 'rishnaHthe boy>s 8agueness irritate!
hi(6 particularly the habit of stan!ing ith his (outh open% -n one occasion he
hit 'rishna sharply on the chin to force hi( to close his (outh% 'rishna:i as to
say later that this act of 8iolence broke all relationship beteen 'rishna an!
4ea!beater%
Just before 3rs% Besant>s return to ,n!ia6 'rishna as put on probation by the
3asters% =hen 3rs% Besant arri8e! in 3a!ras in @o8e(ber 19<96 she sa ith
4ea!beater an eager large eye! boy$ shyly step forar! to put a garlan! roun!
her neck% 4ea!beater>s 8oice sai!6 #his is our 'rishna%$
9
=ith her co(ing6 a protecti8e all as sloly built aroun! the boy% A special
group of boys as selecte! to play ith hi(G no one else as per(itte! to sit on
his chair or to use his tennis racket% A8erything he !i! as closely (onitore!%
#o ensure that @arianiah oul! not interfere in the training6 a (essage as
soon recei8e! fro( the 3asters that the boys shoul! go as little as possible to
their father>s house% 3rs% Besant pre8aile! on the father to han! o8er the
guar!ianship of the boys to her% Soon all 8isits of the boys to @arianiah>s house
ha! en!e!%
=hile 3rs% Besant as in A!yar6 she (et ith 'rishna e8ery !ay% ,t as
!uring this perio! that the see!s of the relationship ith hi(6 base! on lo8e an!
infinite trust6 ere son% ,n the (onths prior to 3rs% Besant>s return to ,n!ia6
4ea!beater clai(e! to ha8e taken 'rishna e8ery night on the astral plane to be
instructe! by the 3asters% #he boy ha! been brought in contact ith the esoteric
life of the Society as 8iee! by 4ea!beater an! the language that surroun!e! the
occult (ysteries% Portraits of the 3asters an! 3ahat(as hung in the shrine roo(6
the (e!itation hall of the Asoteric SectionG faces an! na(es ere absorbe! by
'rishna to fuse an! gro one ith his e8ery!ay reality% 3rs% Besant first (et
'rishna on @o8e(ber .96 19<96 an! by 1ece(ber ) he ha! been a!(itte! to the
Asoteric Section of the #heosophical Society%
She as to lea8e A!yar for Faranasi soon after%
CHAPTER 3
#he 1rea(2 ,s #hat &ou
3y 4or!5$
=hat as the ork that took 3rs% Besant to Faranasi at this ti(e6 the (ost
crucial (o(ent of her life5 =hy as she not in A!yar at the ti(e of the first
initiation5 =as she herself un!er the gui!ance of (ystics an! sages6 seeking an
assurance about 'rishna(urti fro( the occult hierarchy5 /a! she to un!ergo
yogic initiations in or!er to protect the chil! ho as to be the =orl! #eacher5
Speaking to learne! scholars an! the Brah(in pan!its of Faranasi (ore than
se8enty years later6 , gathere! that in those early years 3rs% Besant ha! been in
touch in Faranasi ith Sa(i Fishu!hanan! an! his !isciple ;opinath 'a8ira:%
Sa(i Fishu!hanan! as a renone! tantric6 ith (any siddhis or (ystical
poers% /e also clai(e! !irect links to a secret cult an! !octrine of #ibetG
originating in ,n!ia6 this !octrine ha! sur8i8e! in its pristine for( in a hea8ily
charge! psychic center beyon! 3anasaro8ar 4ake in #ibet% At this center (any
great sages an! bo!hisatt8as ere sai! to gather6 not in their physical for(6 but
perhaps as centers of energy% -ne of their (ost guar!e! !octrines as an ear*to*
(outh6 hispere! !octrine6 concerne! ith the eternal cycle of ti(eHith yoga
or kundaini practices an! ith the transference of consciousness% #his yoga6
fraught ith i((ense !angers6 ha! originate! in ,n!ia long before the Bu!!ha
an! his teaching% ,t later !isappeare! in ,n!ia6 but sur8i8e! a(ongst a!epts in that
secret center in #ibet%
,t is possible that through Sa(i Fishu!hanan!6 3rs% Besant gre aare of
the !octrine of the turning aroun!$ or transference of consciousness an! its
close links to kundaini yoga% Pan!it Jagannath "pa!hyaya of Faranasi6 ho ha!
foun! a copy of the original teBt of the Kaa Chakra Tantra6 an! ho as
un!ertaking research into it6 tol! 'rishna:i that Pan!it ;opinath 'a8ira:
(aintaine! that the #heosophical Society !re (uch of its hi!!en teaching fro(
this secret !octrine% /e ent on to say that Sa(i Fishu!hanan! an! ;opinath
'a8ira:6 in the early years of the tentieth century6 ha! spoken to 3rs% Besant of
the i((inent co(ing of the 3aitreya Bo!!hisatt8a an! his (anifestation in a
hu(an bo!yG accor!ing to the sa(i6 the bo!y chosen as that of 'rishna(urti%
'rishna:i>s response ha! been sift% #he 3aitreya cannot (anifest6 it oul! be
like the sky (anifesting% ,t is the teaching that (anifests%$ Another !ay6 speaking
on the sa(e sub:ect6 as if through a rent in ti(e6 'rishna:i su!!enly sa an
i(age% /e sai!6 A((a KA% B%L 8isite! the 'a8ira: ri!ing a horse%$
1
=hen , hear! this , as intrigue!% #he i(age of 3rs% Besant ri!ing a hite
charger in the early tentieth century through the tiny lanes of Faranasi to 8isit
sadhus6 (en!icant ascetics6 as pure (agicG , enCuire! further an! foun! that
3rs% Besant as 8ery fon! of ri!ing an! it is likely that she !i! ri!e to her
(eetings ith the gurus of Faranasi% #his hole area of enCuiry thros ne
light on the (anner in hich (any secret insights an! !octrines entere! the
Asoteric Section of the #heosophical Society% ,t is possible that 3rs% Besant>s
total faith that the Bo!hisatt8a 3aitreya oul! (anifest through the bo!y of
'rishna(urti as !ue to these early contacts ith Faranasi gurus an! their links
to the occult hierarchy% 4ea!beater6 ith his ob8ious psychic gifts6 as hea8ily
bur!ene! by occi!ental occult sy(bologyG the sources that pro8i!e! the ,n!ian
strea( to the occult orl! of #heosophy coul! only ha8e co(e fro( sources
steepe! in ,n!ian an! #ibetan tra!ition%
=ithin three eeks of 'rishna>s :oining the Asoteric Section6 4ea!beater ha!
telegraphe! 3rs% Besant that the boy ha! been accepte! by 3aster 'oot /oo(i
as his !isciple% -nly fi8e (onths ha! passe! since 'rishna ha! been !isco8ere!
by 4ea!beater%
=riting to 3rs% Besant in a beautiful script6 possibly the result of intense
copybook practice6 'rishna !escribe! the cere(ony of acceptance on January 06
191<2
3y !ear 3other6
,t as 8ery beautiful% =hen e ent to our 3aster>s house6 e foun! hi( an! 3aster
3orya an! the 3aster 1:al 'ul all stan!ing talking6 an! they spoke 8ery kin!ly% =e all
prostrate! oursel8es6 an! the 3aster !re (e onto his knee6 an! aske! (e hether , oul!
forget (yself entirely an! ne8er ha8e a selfish thought6 but think only ho to help the orl!
an! , sai! in!ee! , oul!6 an! , ante! only to be like hi( so(e!ay% #hen he kisse! (e an!
passe! his han! o8er (e6 an! , see(e! to be so(eho part of hi(6 an! , felt Cuite !ifferent an!
8ery 8ery happy6 an! , ha8e ha! that feeling e8er since% #hen they all three blesse! (e an! e
ca(e aay% But neBt (orning in the Shrine ?oo( hen , thanke! hi( again6 , felt his han!
press strongly on (y hea! again :ust as in the night%
, ha8e ri!!en .)+ (iles no6 an! , en:oy the ri!es 8ery (uch% /o soon ill you co(e
back to us5 , sen! you 8ery (uch lo8e (any ti(es each !ay%
&our lo8ing son6
'rishna
.
#he perio! of probation as short6 an! unusual e8ents soon folloe!% An
e(inent astrologer6 ;% A% Sutcliff6 ha! foreseen a 8ery unusual positioning of
planets for January 11% #elegra(s ere eBchange! beteen 4ea!beater an! 3rs%
Besant6 an! she as finally infor(e! that the first initiation of 'rishna as to
take place on the night of January 11 to 1.% 3rs% Besant as unable to be present6
but she issue! instructions that the !oors of the shrine roo( of the Asoteric
Section an! the 8eran!a hich opene! onto her roo( ere to be close!6 an! that
'rishna an! 4ea!beater ere to occupy her roo( !uring this (o(entous
occasion%
,t as sai! later that 'rishna an! 4ea!beater ere out of their bo!ies !uring
to nights an! a !ay6 co(ing back into the( occasionally for so(e nourish(ent%
'rishna lay on 3rs% Besant>s be!6 4ea!beater on the floor% -n January 1. they
e(erge! fro( the roo( to fin! so(e of the el!ers of the Society aaiting the(%
A(ongst the( as 'rishna>s father6 @arianiah6 an! his brother @itya% 'rishna
rote to 3rs% Besant i((e!iately6 !escribing the (ysterious happenings2
=hen , left (y bo!y the first night6 , ent at once to the 3aster>s house an! , foun! /i(
there ith the 3aster 3orya an! the 3aster 1:al 'ul% #he 3aster talke! to (e 8ery kin!ly for
a long ti(e6 an! tol! (e all about the initiation6 an! hat , shoul! ha8e to !o% #hen6 e all ent
together to the house of the 4or! 3aitreya6 here , ha! been once before6 an! there e foun!
(any of the 3astersHthe Fenetian 3aster6 the 3aster Jesus6 the 3aster the Count6 the 3aster
Serapis6 the 3aster /ilarion an! the to 3asters 3orya an! '% /% #he 4or! 3aitreya sat in the
(i!!le an! the others stoo! roun! /i( in a se(i*circle% K/ere 'rishna !re a !iagra( to (ake
the positions of the gathere! Brotherhoo! clear%L #hen the 3aster took (y right han! an! the
3aster 1:al 'ul (y left6 an! they le! (e in front of the 4or! 3aitreya6 you K3rs% BesantL an!
uncle K4ea!beaterL stan!ing close behin! (e% #he 4or! s(ile! at (e6 but /e sai! to the 3aster2
=ho is this that you bring before (e5$ An! the 3aster ansere!2 #his is a can!i!ate for
a!(ission to the ;reat Brotherhoo!%$
K#he 3asters ho ha! gathere! agree! to his a!(ission into the
Brotherhoo!%L
#hen the 4or! turne! aay fro( (e an! calle! toar!s Sha(balla2 1o , this6 - 4or! of
4ife an! 4ight6 in #hy @a(e an! for #hee5$ An! at once the great Sil8er Star flashe! out o8er
/is hea! an! on each si!e of it in the air there stoo! a figureHone for the 4or! ;auta(a
Bu!!ha an! the other the 3ahachohan% An! the 4or! 3aitreya turne! an! calle! (e by the true
na(e of (y Ago6 an! lai! /is han! upon (y hea! an! sai!2 ,n the na(e of the -ne ,nitiator6
hose Star shines abo8e us6 , recei8e you into the Brotherhoo! of Aternal 4ife%$ K#he neBt night
they ere taken to 8isit Sanat 'u(ar%L
%%%for /e is a boy not (uch ol!er than , a(6 but the han!so(est , ha8e e8er seen6 all shining
an! glorious6 an! hen /e s(iles it is like sunlight% /e is strong like the sea6 so that nothing
coul! stan! against /i( for a (o(ent6 an! yet /e is nothing but lo8e6 so that , coul! not be in
the least afrai! of /i(%
0
3rs% Besant>s reply to 'rishna is not a8ailable6 but she rote in gloing
or!s to 4ea!beater6 confir(ing the e8ent% #he correspon!ence beteen 3rs%
Besant an! 'rishna re8eal the i((ensity of her lo8e an! concern for the chil!%
/er or!s reach out to hi(2
01 3arch 191<
3y lo8e! 'rishna6 blesse! little son6 , on!er if you see or feel (e in the (orning (e!itation
here , co(e to you6 you !o in your astral6 but !o you in your brain !on here5 An! 8ery often
in the !ay , sen! a thought*for( to rap its ings roun! you%
#here as such a big (eeting in Calcutta for the ani(als an! , tol! the people about the
?obin ho trie! to pull the nail out of the han! of Christ on the Cross% #hat is not a story of a
fact but of a real truth6 like the story of Shri ?a(a stroking the sCuirrels ha8e pretty stripes KsicL%
-nce at Sarnath here the Bu!!ha preache! his first ser(on6 , looke! back to see itG an! a little
fan ca(e up an! put her nose into his han!% #he 4or! as all lo8e6 so the ani(als ere not
afrai! of hi(% #ell !ear @itya that , gi8e hi( a kiss on the top of his !ear little hea! e8ery
(orning6 an! sen! hi( a thought*for( too% &ou kno that , lo8e you 8ery (uch (y 'rishna6
an! a( alays%
&our lo8ing (other%
+
'rishna replie! on April )6 191<2
-f course6 (y physical brain re(e(bers hen you put your ar(s roun! (e6 because , a(
trying to (ake (y consciousness the sa(e all the ti(e6 but , a( not alays Cuite sure of it yet% ,
a( orking alays for hat is ante! for the secon! step6 but it ill take so(e ti(e% , think6 ,
ha8e not (uch !oubt or superstition6 but it is 8ery har! to get ri! of the !elusion of self6 but ,
ill !o it% , !o not Cuite kno ho yet6 but so(eho it shall be !one%
, ha8e rea! Chil!ren of the 3otherlan!$ an! in about the neBt three !ays6 e shall ha8e
finishe! #he Story of the ;reat =ar%$ , ha8e hear! the stories about #he ?obin an! the
SCuirrel6$ but , ha8e not yet seen a ?obin% ,t is 1.)< years since , as last at Sarnath6 but , hope
to go there in this life also% #here as a great grey pillar there ith a lion on it an! other s(aller
pillars roun! it in half a circle% /o soon ill you co(e back to us5 , sen! you 8ery (uch lo8e
e8ery !ay%
&our lo8ing son6 'rishna%
)
A photograph taken i((e!iately after 'rishna>s first initiation6 fi8e (onths
after he ha! been !isco8ere!$ by 4ea!beater6 re8eals the young %rahma&harin
(antle! in an angavastram% ,t is a fragile face ith inti(ations of unboun!e!
strength% ,n profile6 the hair hangs :ust abo8e his shoul!ersG his eyes (irror
akash6 en!less space an! soun!% #he (outh is slightly open6 neither s(iling6 nor
gri(G a ten!er (ango shoot that has no self*ill6 but only life energyG a face
!efenseless6 entirely ithout guile2 -f the aters the first born sap6 P likeise of
the forest trees%$
6
3any of 'rishna>s biographers6 !escribing hi( at the ti(e of !isco8ery by
4ea!beater6 speak of hi( as backar!6 e8en (oronic6 !irty6 unke(pt6 ith only
his large eyes to !istinguish his face% Astonishingly6 there are no co((ents on
his aeso(e beauty%
By Septe(ber 191< 3rs% Besant6 ho as in A!yar6 took the brothers ith
her to Faranasi% ,t as here that 'rishna sent for the notes he is sai! to ha8e
ritten in A!yar6 an! hich ere to for( the (aterial for his first book6 At th"
(""t of th" Mast"r%
#he appearance of the book arouse! a (a:or contro8ersy% Specially boun! in
blue leather an! autographe! by 'rishna6 a copy (eant for 3aster 'oot /oo(i
an! place! un!er 'rishna>s pillo as to !isappear by (orning% A 8ast nu(ber
of copies of the book sol!% 'rishna>s Anglish at the ti(e as feeble6 an! (any
critics (aintaine! that the book ha! been ritten by 4ea!beater% #he book as
luci!6 co(bining #heosophical teaching ith certain basic tenets of /in!uis(%
#here is little !oubt that e8en if the notes ha! been originally ritten by
'rishna un!er the gui!ance of 3aster '% /%6 the final 8ersion bore a !efinite
4ea!beater i(print% Euestione! by his father6 'rishna is reporte! to ha8e !enie!
ha8ing ritten the book%
So(e fifty years later the physicist ;eorge Su!arshan aske! 'rishna:i about
the authorship of At th" (""t of th" Mast"r% 'rishna:i replie!6 #he (an ho
rote the book has !isappeare!%$
9
/e refuse! to say anything further about it%
,n 1911 3rs% Besant tra8ele! to Anglan! ith her to ar!s% /er ol! frien!s
an! a!(irers in ,n!ia ha! been 8ery critical about hat they referre! to as the
hole 3essiah business6$ an! she ha! been attacke! relentlessly by Th" )indu6
an influential Anglish !aily publishe! in 3a!ras% Soon (any (e(bers of the
#heosophical Society fro( all o8er ,n!ia6 so(e of ho( ere her close frien!s6
ere in open re8olt for her orship of the little /in!u boy she calls Alcyone%$
8
,n spite of ri!icule6 open opposition6 an! !esertion fro( the Society of so(e of
its e(inent (e(bers6 3rs% Besant stoo! like a rock6 her faith unshaken6 stea!fast
to the 3asters> instructions that 'rishna as to be the 8ehicle for the 3aitreya
Bu!!ha%
Before lea8ing for Anglan! 3rs% Besant ha! a co(plete =estern ar!robe
(a!e for the boys by the best tailors in Bo(bay% =hen they arri8e! at Charing
Cross Station to be (et by a gathering of #heosophists6 'rishna as earing a
@orfolk :acket an! trousers%
3rs% Besant took the boys to stay at the ho(e of her frien! 3iss Bright% ,n
her book *d M"mori"s and +"tt"rs of Anni" B"sant6 Asther Bright !escribe! the
to ,n!ian ar!s of 3rs% Besant%
,t as to this house that A% B% brought her to young ,n!ian ar!s6 the brothers 'rishna(urti
an! @ityanan!a(% #hey (a!e their ho(e ith us% ,t as interesting to atch their reactions to
our =estern lifeH8ery shy an! reser8e! they ereHbut keenly ali8e to hat as going on in
our peculiar =estern orl!6 an! often6 no !oubt6 8ery critical of usQ Aspecially on the sub:ect of
?iceQ , !o not think 3iss Bright Cuite un!erstan!s$ sai! @itya once 8ery gra8ely ho (uch
e like rice%$ /e as a char(ing little fello6 such a serious face an! keen6 frien!ly6 inCuiring
eyesG a fine6 big nature in that s(all ,n!ian bo!y% A% B% as !e8ote! to these boys an! ga8e
the( all the affection an! lo8ing kin!ness possible% ,t as beautiful to see the( together%%%
9
Parte! fro( 'rishna for a short hile6 3rs% Besant rote on @o8e(ber .96 19112
, a( sen!ing you big a8es of lo8e6 like those that co(e tu(bling in through the opening of the
barG only they !o not knock you about6 but only en8elope an! guar! the precious bo!y that the
4or! ill ear%
, lo8e (y on !ear 'rishna6 the ego that , ha8e lo8e! for so (any yearsG /o (any5 , !o
not kno% Since e ere leaping ani(als6 an! guar!e! our 3aster>s hut5 Perhaps longer stillG
perhaps hen e ere plants6 e put out !elicate ten!rils to each other in the sunshine an! the
stor(% An! perhaps e ere (ineralsH-h6 so 8ery long agoH, as a bit of crystal an! you a
bit of gol! in (e%
1<
'rishna an! @itya returne! to ,n!ia ith 3rs% Besant for a short perio! in
1ece(ber 1911% #he attacks against 3rs% Besant ere continuing% #he brothers
acco(panie! 3rs% Besant to Faranasi% Accor!ing to 3rs% Besant an! 4ea!beater
it as here that the first Cuickening of the spirit as to occur6 after hich 3rs%
Besant proclai(e! that there coul! no longer be any !oubt that 'rishna(urti ha!
been selecte! by the Bo!hisatt8a 3aitreya as his 8ehicle%
By 191. 3rs% Besant an! the to boys returne! to Aurope% @arianiah ha!
reluctantly alloe! his sons to go back6 on the un!erstan!ing that they oul! be
kept aay fro( all contact ith 4ea!beater% At the ti(e6 nes of 4ea!beater>s
seBual procli8ities ere being freely talke! about in the Anglish co((unity of
3a!ras6 an! it as natural that the father shoul! resent any contact of his sons
ith hi(% As 3rs% Besant as about to lea8e ,n!ia ith her ar!s6 @arianiah>s
fears reaakene! an! he threatene! to file a suit for their reco8ery% But she
pre8aile! on the father to allo the boys to acco(pany her an! prepare for their
entry to -Bfor!% /earing6 hoe8er6 that 3rs% Besant on reaching Aurope ha!
taken the boys to #aor(ina in ,taly6 here 4ea!beater as aiting to help
'rishna un!ergo his secon! initiation6 @arianiah finally file! a case for the
reco8ery of custo!y of his sons% 3rs% Besant returne! to ,n!ia an! fought the suit
ith her enor(ous energy6 !iligence6 an! sheer illpoerG she appeare! in
person in the courts an! argue! ith great skill against so(e of the best legal
eBperts of the country% She lost the case both in the loer court an! in the /igh
Court of 3a!rasG but e8entually she on in her appeal to the Pri8y Council%
'rishna an! @itya !i! not see ,n!ia fro( 191. to 19..%
#he contact beteen 3rs% Besant an! 'rishna coul! only be (aintaine!
through letters% 'rishna rote to her e8ery eek !escribing his stu!ies6 his
!rea(s6 his proble(s% /e starte! collecting (oney for 3rs% Besant>s ork in
,n!ia an! pro(ise! to contribute .s 6! a eek fro( his pocket (oney% 1uring a
8isit to a !entist in the last eek of August 191.6 a (il! application of cocaine to
his is!o( tooth le! to an eBtraor!inary !rea( that night of the 4or! 3aitreya%
/e !escribe! the !rea( in a letter to 3rs% BesantHthe han!riting sprals
across the page6 or!s are cut out6 the lines crooke!2
, re(e(bere! being in a roo( abo8e an A% S% KAsoteric SectionL roo( ith Clarke%
1
#here
as an A% S% (eeting hich 3other hel!% #he (eeting as o8er an! Clarke an! , ent upstairs
into (y roo(% 3y in!o looke! into the A% S% roo(% , ent to the in!o casually an! sa a
person in the A% S% roo(% , as rather startle! at first6 because , sa that e8ery person as out
after the (eeting an! , ha! (yself locke! the !oor% , felt rather uneasy about it an! as rather
afrai! but6 , sai! to (yself hat is there to be afrai! about5$ #herefore6 , calle! Clarke an!
ent !on% , alke! !on rather Cuickly an! hen , as at the botto(6 , looke! up to see
Clarke6 but he as not there% , hear! a sort of noise an! , sa as follos2 A for( see(e! to
co(e out of the 4or! 3aitreya>s picture an! those of the 3aster>s% , sa a (an>s legs an! only
up to his neck6 as , coul! not see hose face it as as it as co8ere! ith a sort of gol! cloth% ,
kne ho the person as as he ha! long hair an! pointe! bear! an! , ante! to (ake sure an! ,
sai! 8ery hu(bly I the or!s are eBact% , sai! ,s that &ou6 (y 4or!5$ %%%/e took aay the
co8er fro( /is face an! , kne for certain6 it as the 4or! 3aitreya% #hen6 , prostrate! (yself
an! /e stretche! /is han! o8er (e in blessing% #hen /e sat on the groun! cross*legge! an! ,
also sat !on cross*legge! on the floor% #hen /e began to talk to (e an! tol! (e things hich ,
!o not re(e(ber% #hen , prostrate! an! /e as gone%
A fe hours later , an! an ,n!ian boy frien! ere alking along a roa! an! on both si!es
there ere (ountains an! ri8ers an! , sa a (an alking toar!s us6 he as tall an! ell built%
As the for( approache! us , kne ho it as an! tol! (y frien! to go aay% 3y frien! sai! he
ante! to see ho it as% By this ti(e6 the for( as 8ery close to us an! , as going to
prostrate (yself hen /e put up /is han! not to !o it% 3y frien! as behin! (e% #he 4or!
turne! to (y frien! an! sai! to hi( =hat !o you ant here5$ 3y frien! !i! not anser /i(%
#hen the 4or! sai! to hi( again if you !o not ant anything6 you ha! better go aay%$ 3y
frien! still stoo! there ithout ansering% #hen the 4or! lifte! /is han! an! pointe! it toar!s
(y frien! an! as , as close to /is han!6 , hear! a sort of ru(bling noise as if a train ha!
passe! by% , turne! toar!s (y frien! an! , sa hi( sloly falling !on% 3y frien! as
(otionless as though he as !ea!% #hen , prostrate!6 an! the 4or! 3aitreya sai! #hat boy of
yours is rather inCuisiti8e$ an! , coul! not anser /i( an! , as sorry that , brought (y frien!
along%
1
?ussel B% Clarke M1ickN as an engineer an! a #heosophist ho ca(e to stay in A!yar in 191< an! as
assisting C% =% 4ea!beater in his ork% =hen the boys 'rishna an! @itya ere !isco8ere!6 Clarke
beca(e their tutor%
PR,!AT-
#he 4or! sai!6 , think this is hat /e sai!H?a:a KC% Jinara:a!asaL as to go to A(erica
after ;eorge KArun!ale6 'rishna>s tutor in Anglan! beteen 191. an! 191+L has co(e neBt year
an! Clarke as to stay%$ /e tol! (e that , as getting on ell an! so(ething else hich , !o
not r"m"m%"r% , re(e(ber the 4or! 8ery clearly% /is face as like a glass co8ere! ith a thin
piece of gol!G in other or!s6 as 3other sai!6 like ripe corn% /is face as ra!iant an! lu(inous%
/e as 8ery kin! to (e% /e once or tice put /is han! o8er (y shoul!er% /e talke! about
3other an! ;eorge% =e talke! for a 8ery long ti(e% At the en!6 , aske! hi( ,s there any or!er
(y 4or!5$ an! /e sai!6 you nee! not be so for(al%$ #hen , prostrate! once (ore% /e sai!6 e
shall (eet often%$
, felt as though , coul! talk ith /i( for e8er an! , sa 4or! 3aitreya>s for( !isappear%
#hen , aoke an! it as half past fi8e% #hen also6 , rote out all this%%% 'rishna%
11
#hrough the years of separation 3rs% Besant continue! to rite to 'rishna
regularly6 !escribing her life6 teaching hi( to spell6 an! so forth% /er letters
reflect her concern for hi( an! her re(arkable Cualities as a teacher% -n -ctober
96 191.6 she notice! his appalling spelling an! rote2
, a( gla! you are !oing lessons regularly% Please try to pay attention to the( hile you are
!oing the(6 an! (ake your (in! stea!y an! think6 as you !i! ith (e% ,t is 8ery i(portant that
you shoul! (aster these or!inary things6 an! !o us all cre!it at -Bfor!% , shoul! like parallel
bars better ithout to ?sG you ha8e the ll>s rightG unparallele! is one of the puDDle or!s often
gi8en for spelling% , !o not think there is any rule about r$ being single or !ouble for e rite
harass ith one6 an! e(barras KsicL ith to% ,n rea!ing books6 e learn to kno ho a or!
ooks6 an! if it is rongly spelt6 it looks like a la(e (an%
, lea8e for A!yar on the .<th at (i!night6 an! there is going to be a reception gi8en to (e
by the 3a!ras people6 to sho that they !o not sy(pathise ith the )indu%
=ith 8ery (uch lo8e to you an! !ear @itya6
&our on lo8ing 3other%
1.
A year later6 in reply to a co((ent about his unruly riting6 'rishna rote to
Besant6 , a( 8ery sorry that 4or! 3aitreya shoul! speak three ti(es about (y
han!*riting%$
10
3rs% Besant6 fighting the case for the custo!y of the boys6 an! caught in the
hirlpool of political life in ,n!ia6 place! 'rishna an! @itya in the care of C%
Jinara:a!asa an! later ;eorge Arun!ale% Shunte! as they ere fro( place to
place6 tutor to tutor6 8ery little spiritual e!ucation or !iscussion appears to ha8e
taken place !uring this perio!% 7or a ti(e the brothers ere sent to school near
?ochester% #heir li8es ere (a!e (iserable by the other boys6 ho tol! !irty
:okes an! calle! the brothers black !e8ils%$
=hile 'rishna as in ,n!ia6 in the early years6 he ha! a li8ing contact ith
the 3asters2 but in Anglan! he soon gre skeptical an! took little interest in any
esoteric acti8ity% /e tol! a frien! that on one occasion hen the 3aster '% /%
as stan!ing before hi(6 speaking to hi(6 he ha! gone up to the 3aster an!
alke! through hi(% #he 3asters6 accor!ing to 'rishna6 ere ne8er to appear to
hi( again%
-n April 1)6 19106 Justice Blackell of the /igh Court of 3a!ras passe!
:u!g(ent on the case brought by @arianiah for the return of the custo!y of his
sons6 'rishna an! @itya%
#he honorable :u!ge conclu!e! that although the e8i!ence of @arianiah6 the
father6 as not to be truste!6 the plaintiff as not aare hen he signe! the
guar!ianship agree(ent that his son as to be brought up as a 8ehicle of
supernatural poers$ an!6 therefore6 ha! a right to change his (in! hen he so
learne!%
/is lor!ship refuse! to pass or!ers of custo!y6 as the boys ere resi!ents of
British ,n!ia an! only te(porary resi!ents of Anglan!% /e therefore !eclare!
the( ar!s of the court an! or!ere! the boys to be turne! o8er to their father on
or about 3ay .66 1910%
A stay of eBecution6 hoe8er6 as grante! to 3rs% Besant6 ho !eci!e! to
appeal to the Pri8y Council% She ha! telegraphe! 'rishna an! ha! recei8e! a
cable in reply fro( ?a:a6 @itya6 an! 'rishna6 eBpressing their total confi!ence in
her%
She rote to 'rishna on April 192
3y belo8e! son6
&our nice telegra(6 signe! by you6 ?a:a an! @itya6 ga8e (e (uch pleasure% &ou an! @itya
are perfectly safe% @o one can touch you% , protect%$ An! o8er us all shines the Star of the great
king6 an! the han! of the 4or! 3aitreya guar!s you% 1i! not /e /i(self bi! (e protect you5 ,t
is (y pri8ilege an! pri!e to !o so6 (y blesse! boy%
, a( Cuite en:oying (yself an! a( re(e(bering ho you6 Kan!L , galloppe! along the
/i(alayan 8alleys hen e ca(e !on into ,n!ia%
&our on lo8ing (other%
1o you think gallope! or galloppe! look better5 , a( not sure% People spell it both ays% , think
the to pps look (ore like the leaps of a horse%
1+
=ith the outbreak of ar in 191+ 'rishna>s tutor6 ;eorge Arun!ale6 ha!
8olunteere! for the ?e! Cross an! foun! a senior position in 'ing ;eorge>s
/ospital% 'rishna an! @itya6 eager to ork6 ha! also offere! their ser8ices6 but to
no a8ail% 1espite the fact that a large nu(ber of ,n!ian troops ere fighting for
the British6 racial pre:u!ice as at its peak% #he presence of !ark*skinne! ,n!ians
in a hite (an>s hospital as frone! on by the authorities% After great pressure
fro( influential sources6 'rishna foun! ork in a hospital near the #heosophical
Society6 but as only per(itte! to scrub floors% /e rote to 3rs% Besant on July
16 191)2
3y !earest 3other6
#hank you so 8ery (uch for your letter% -f course6 , shall !o hat you ish an! , shall not
touch (eat or anything of that sort% =e are no orking in a hospital near the #heosophical
Society ith 1r% ;uest% , like orking there an! , a( kept busy fro( (orning till nearly 9 in the
e8ening% , think ;eorge likes his ork too an! , think he is happier% =e are of course orking
un!er 1r% ;uest an! , like it 8ery (uch%
, think e8erything is going on 8ery ell%
&our on !e8ote! son6
'rishna
1)
But by July 1)th they ha! been aske! to lea8e% ,n another letter to 3rs% Besant6
ritten fro( ;reenoo! ;ate6 =ithyha(6 SusseB6 'rishna says2
%%%, ha8e been orking really har! for a change at the hospital because there are too (any
#heosophists an! , being an ,n!ian a( not ante! by the Co((ittee% #hey also !on>t ant any
honorary orkers% #hey are all 8ery :ealous an! 8ery petty% 4a!y =illia(son ho is the ife of
the Chair(an6 Sir Archibal! =illia(son6 ants to boss e8erybo!y inclu!ing 1r% ;uest an! he is
appointe! as the /ea! of the /ospital by the =ar -ffice% 1r% ;uest is no 3a:or ;uest an! he
is a bit sick of all this% #he Co((ittee has aske! (e an! others to go aay an! so , ha8e not
been orking there since yester!ay% , a( sorry because , like! the ork 8ery (uch an! , as
:ust getting into it% @o6 , a( going to fin! so(ething else hich ill occupy (e an! think of
other people an! get aay fro( (yself% , ill !o hat you tell (e an! be useful%%%
16
#he brothers trie! !esperately to fin! ork but ere turne! aay% 'rishna
rote on August 186 191)2
%%%, ha8e trie! 8ery har! to fin! ork anyhere of any sort but it is really 8ery !ifficult% 7irst of
all6 , a( an ,n!ian an! nobo!y see(s to like the(%%% , !o ant to ork6 in as KsicL you tell (e to
forget (yself6 , think it is the only ay6 ork% , hope it ill be all right%
19
#he fact that he as an ,n!ian an!6 therefore6 unacceptable beca(e a recurrent
refrain in his letters to 3rs% Besant%
3rs% Besant>s replies are una8ailable6 but the stiff*necke! ol! la!ies ho
surroun!e! 'rishna felt he as too fri8olous an! (ust ha8e co(plaine! to 3rs%
Besant% 'rishna rote to 3rs% Besant on -ctober 92
, kno6 , ha8e not taken (y life seriously so far an! , a( going to !o it fro( no% , a(
beginning (y stu!ies fro( neBt 3on!ay% , ha! settle! to stu!y after the letter you ha! ritten to
4a!y 1e la =arr% , a( going to stu!y Sanskrit6 Anglish6 3athe(atics6 /istory an! 7rench% , a(
ha8ing lessons for each an! , (ean to get into -Bfor! as soon as , can% , ill stu!y for all (y
orth an! after -Bfor!6 there is (y ork lai! out for (e by the 3asters an! yourself% , honestly
(ean to !o this an! , wi !o this at all costs%
18
,n spite of these letters6 the brothers ere 8ery lonely6 unhappy6 an! felt
totally re:ecte!% ,ncreasingly !isillusione!6 they appear to ha8e lost interest in the
#heosophical teachings% 'rishna rote to 4ea!beater about @itya2
/e feels 8ery lonely6 like (ost of us !o6 an! there is nobo!y ho( he specially likes or lo8es
an! (akes !oubly har!er% /e is 8ery bitter6 har! an! col!% /e suffers a lot% , a( afrai!6 , can>t
help hi( (uch% /e ants so(ebo!y to lo8e hi( first an! fore(ost an! to ho( he can pour
out all his troubles% /e ants a (other to lo8e as , ha8e la!y A(ily%
19
'rishna>s only frien! in Anglan! as 4a!y A(ily 4utyens6 the ife of A!in
4utyens6 the 8isionary architect ho ha! !esigne! @e 1elhi% #hirty*siB years
ol! hen she first (et 'rishna6 she as present6 along ith a huge cro! at the
Charing Cross ?oa! platfor(6 to recei8e 3rs% Besant an! the (ysterious young
boy Alcyone% =hen she sa the large*eye!6 long*haire! young ,n!ian boy6 ho
as then siBteen years ol!6 she as !eeply stirre!% 4a!y A(ily beca(e 8ery
frien!ly ith 'rishna6 ho as beil!ere! an! lonely in alien surroun!ings% At
first her husban!6 A!in 4utyens6 as a(use!% 4ater he beca(e !eeply upset6 as
he felt 4a!y A(ily as neglecting hi( an! the chil!ren% 3rs% Besant as 8ery
!istresse!6 because she felt that any e(otional at(osphere aroun! 'rishna as
!etri(ental to the (ission for hich he as inten!e!% ,n the letters 'rishna
continue! to rite 3rs% Besant6 hoe8er6 he referre! to 4a!y A(ily as being
(uch better6 (ore serious6 an! trying 8ery har!%
#he brothers> na(es ha! been entere! for Balliol at -Bfor!% But the (aster of
Balliol6 concerne! about the contro8ersies that ha! arisen aroun! 'rishna6
re:ecte! hi( on the general principle that his college !i! not ant to ha8e
anything to !o ith a bron 3essiah%$
.<
All atte(pts by 3rs% Besant to arrange for their a!(ission to any other
college in -Bfor! or Ca(bri!ge also faile!% 'rishna as also unable to pass any
of the entrance eBa(inations for 4on!on "ni8ersity% /e oul! stu!y for !ays
but6 hen face! ith an eBa(ination6 oul! co(e aay lea8ing a blank paper%
#he brothers ere li8ing ith 3iss 1o!ge in =i(ble!on% 3iss 1o!ge as a
8ery rich an! charitable A(erican o(an% Cripple! by arthritis6 she ha! finance!
(any acti8ities of the #heosophical Society% She as a frien! of 4a!y A(ily
4utyens6 ho intro!uce! her to 3rs% Besant an! #heosophy% 'rishna an! @itya
co((ute! e8ery !ay to 4on!on6 here they ere stu!ying6 ith i((ense
!ifficulty6 to pass the entrance eBa(inations to 4on!on "ni8ersity% ,t as at this
ti(e that they learnt to !ress ell6 an! feel at ease in a rich aristocratic
househol!%$
.1
#hey ha! begun to go to eBpensi8e tailors an! 8isit the theater%
'rishna as shoing 8ery fe signs of his fulfilling the pro(ise forecast for hi(
by 4ea!beater an! 3rs% Besant% As 'rishna gre ol!er 3rs% Besant as to say to
hi(6 3y !ear6 hat is to happen to you5$ She sa that 'rishna as only
intereste! in clothes an! cars% But her trust in the role the 3asters ha! foreseen
for 'rishna re(aine! unshaken%
3eanhile6 at the #heosophical con8ention hel! in Faranasi in 1ece(ber
19106 C% =% 4ea!beater ha! !isco8ere! a thirteen*year*ol! Brah(in youth fro(
3a!ras na(e! 1% ?a:agopal% Attracte! by his aura6 C% =% 4% prophesie! a
brilliant future for hi(He8en to the eBtent of saying that in a future life he oul!
be the neBt Bu!!ha on the planet 3ercury% A!opte! by 4ea!beater6 ?a:agopal
as sent to Anglan! ith C% Jinara:a!asa in 19.<% /e as soon to enter
Ca(bri!ge6 here he stu!ie! la an! passe! his eBa(ination brilliantly%
=hen 'rishna an! ?a:agopal first (et6 there as a certain aloofness6 an!
'rishna>s frien!s treate! ?a:agopal ith a flippancy an! !isregar!% ?a:agopal6
!eeply hurt by their attitu!es6 atte(pte! to (ask his feelings% By 19..6 hoe8er6
the relationship beteen 'rishna6 @itya6 an! ?a:agopal ha! i(pro8e!
consi!erably%
After the ar6 ha8ing faile! in all his atte(pts to enter a uni8ersity6 'rishna
ent to Paris an! staye! ith his frien!s the 3anDiarlys% #hey ere a large6
ar( fa(ily6 an! intro!uce! hi( to Paris% 'rishna (et !ancers6 riters6 painters6
(usicians% /e as aakening to a ne creati8e orl!% ,t as enchant(ent% 7or a
ti(e the role of (essiah sat lightly on his shoul!ers%
-ne night 'rishna atten!e! a reception hoste! for hi(% A(ongst the (any
personalities present ere so(e generals in gala unifor(G (any ha! gathere! out
of curiosity to see this beautiful young (an !estine! to be a (essiah% So(e ere
cynical6 others full of a!(iration%
3any eBpecte! the ne (essiah to appear as an oriental figure$ ith the
8oice of an Ali:ah%$ #he (essiah$ pro8e! to be an elegant young (an in
flannel trousers%$ /is gestures ere nonchalant an! e8en a little bore!% =hen
Cuestione! about the hea8y bur!en of being calle! an incarnation of a 1eity6 he
laughe! alou!% , shoul! say it is rather a bur!en% #he thing , a( (ost intereste!
in :ust no is hether SuDanne 4englen ill be able to hol! out against /elen
=ills Kat =i(ble!onL%$
..
,n 1ece(ber 19.16 after an absence of nine years6 'rishna(urti an! his
brother @itya returne! to ,n!ia% 'rishna(urti as seeing ,n!ia aneG !uring this
8isit he oul! (ake frien!s6 obser8e his surroun!ings6 an! reestablish a
co((unication ith the 3asters%
#he brothers !eci!e! to 8isit their father6 @arianiah6 ho ha! ha! no contact
or nes of the( for nine years% /is !aughter*in*la ;% Shara!a6 ho ha!
(arrie! 'rishna>s el!er brother hen she as fifteen6 as !eeply hurt an! in
tears hen she spoke to (e years later in 198+ of the reports that ha! been
current of the (eeting beteen @arianiah an! his to sons% "nable to 8isit the
#heosophical Society6 he ha! sought nes of the( fro( outsi!e the Society%
@either of the boys ha! ritten to hi( o8er the years6 an! hen he recei8e! a
telegra( that they ere co(ing to 8isit hi(6 he ha! ept% At his behest6 his
!aughter*in*la spent to !ays preparing the special foo!s he kne his sons ha!
en:oye! eating%
,t as e8ening hen the brothers arri8e!% ;% Shara!a sai! she as 8ery shy6
an! aite! outsi!e on the 8eran!a hen 'rishna(urti an! @itya ca(e to 8isit%
1escribing 'rishna(urti6 she sai!6 /e looke! beyon! !escription6 8ery brightH
full of light% /e ha! a strange Cuick alk6 an! as (uch taller than others%$ She
boe! her hea! hen she sa hi(% #o tease her6 he put his to han!s on his
face6 as if he ha! not seen her% @itya chi!e! hi( an! sai!6 =hy !o you !o that5
She is naturally shy6 like an ,n!ian girl%$
@arianiah as o8erhel(e! hen he sa his sons6 an! stoo! up to greet
the(% 'rishna(urti an! @itya prostrate! the(sel8es before hi( an! touche!
their forehea!s to his feet% @arianiah e(brace! the( an! starte! eeping%
'rishna(urti sat !on ith hi( an!6 accor!ing to ;% Shara!a6 console! hi(%$
4ater they spoke of 3rs% Besant% #he father an! his sons !i! not speak in #elugu6
but in Anglish% #he specially prepare! seets an! sa8ories ere offere! to the
brothers% #he boys ere shy an! e(barrasse!6 an! ere unsure of ho to
beha8e% ConseCuently6 they ate 8ery little% 'rishna(urti refuse!6 but @itya took
an orange%
@arianiah as suffering fro( !iabetes an! ha! bla!!er proble(s% #he
e(otional eBcite(ent of seeing his sons pro(pte! hi( to go to the la8atoryG an!6
as as !e(an!e! by ritual6 he ashe! his feet% #his as later interprete! to (ean
that @arianiah ha! ashe! his feet because they ha! been touche! by his sons6
ho( he regar!e! as pariahs%
.0
#he brothers staye! for only half an hour on their first 8isit% Accor!ing to ;%
Shara!a6 they ca(e to see @arianiah three !ays running6 after hich their 8isits
ere to cease%
1
@arianiah ante! to go to the #heosophical Society to see his
sons before they left ,n!ia6 but as restraine! by his el!est son% @arianiah !ie! in
19.+% /e !i! not see his sons again in his lifeti(e%
.+
1
,n Krishnamurti.s Journa6 page 066 there is an account that 8aries fro( that gi8en by ;% Shara!a% , rea!
the 8ersion in (y (anuscript to 'rishna:i% /e sai! he !i! not re(e(ber% So(eti(es hen he spoke of the
past6 his on (e(ories oul! fuse ith hat others ha! tol! hi(%
CHAPTER 4
3other6 Please #ouch 3y
7ace% ,s ,t Still #here5$
,n early 19.. 'rishna:i an! @itya tra8ele! by ship fro( Colo(bo to Sy!ney6
Australia6 to atten! a #heosophical con8ention to be hel! there% 'rishna an! C%
=% 4% ere (eeting after ele8en years6 an! he appeare! happy to (eet his ol!
(entor% Charges of ho(oseBuality arose again in Sy!ney against 4ea!beater6 an!
trouble eBplo!e! a(ongst serious #heosophists6 hich 'rishna !i! his best to
allay%
,t as in Sy!ney that 'rishna as also to (eet Ja(es =e!geoo!% By then
=e!geoo! ha! been or!aine! a bishop of the 4iberal Catholic Church%
1
,n 1916
he ha! in turn consecrate! C% =% 4% as the ?egional 4iberal Catholic Bishop for
Australasia% C% =% 4% as !elighte!6 for this in8ol8e! not only the rituals an! the
gorgeous robes attache! to the Church6 but a ne liturgy6 hich as in Anglish%
As @itya as still unell6 after the con8ention as o8er the brothers !eci!e!
to return to Aurope by ay of San 7rancisco an! the "nite! States% A% P%
=arrington6 the ;eneral Secretary of the #heosophical Society in the "nite!
States6 as in Sy!ney for the con8ention% /e in8ite! 'rishna an! @itya to spen!
so(e ti(e in -:ai6 California6 an ancient @ati8e A(erican area near Santa
Barbara6 hich ha! a !ry cli(ate6 eBcellent for tuberculosis% As their ti(e to
lea8e Sy!ney approache!6 C% =% 4% recei8e! a (essage fro( 3aster '% /% for
'rishna6 hich touche! 'rishna !eeply%
,t as a long 8oyage6 an! @itya gre !esperately ill on boar! ship% But at last
he rallie!6 an! they arri8e! in California% ,t as their first 8isit6 an! 'rishna as
enchante! ith the beauty of the countrysi!e% After a trip to a re!oo! forest he
re(arke! on the (a:esty of the trees an! their rese(blance to 8ast cathe!rals%
'rishna an! @itya finally ca(e to -:ai6 here they li8e! in a cottage
surroun!e! by siB acres of lan!% #he property as later to be bought for the
brothers by Annie Besant6 an! rena(e! Arya Fihara6 the (onastery of the noble
ones%
'rishna(urti ha! begun (e!itating regularly e8ery (orning6 an! as
surprise! at the ease ith hich the (in! respon!e!% /e foun! he coul! hol! the
i(age of 3aitreya in consciousness for the hole !ay% /e as6 as he sai!6
getting cal(er an! (ore serene%$ /is hole outlook on life as changing%
1oors ere opening inar!% 7ro( -:ai 'rishna(urti rote to 4ea!beater2
1
#he 4iberal Catholic Church e(erge! fro( a group of ;er(an Catholic rebels against the Church of
?o(e on the !octrine of papal infallibility in 189<% ,t associate! itself ith the ol! Catholic Church of
/ollan!6 sprea! a(ongst Catholic an! Anglican priests6 but ha! a s(all folloing%
As you ell kno6 , ha8e not been hat is calle! happy$ for (any yearsG e8erything , touche!
brought (e !iscontent(entG (y (ental con!ition as you kno6 (y !earest brother6 has been
!eplorable%%% , ha8e change! consi!erably fro( hat , as in Australia% @aturally , ha8e been
thinking an! !eliberating about the (essage 3aster '% /% ga8e (e hile in Australia%
1
,n August 19.. 'rishna(urti as to be plunge! into the intense spiritual
aakening that change! the course of his life% ,n the ,n!ian tra!ition6 the yogi
ho !el8es into the labyrinth of consciousness aakens eBplo!ing kundaini
1
energies an! entirely ne fiel!s of psychic pheno(ena6 :ourneying into unknon
areas of the (in!% A yogi ho touches these pri(or!ial energies an! un!ergoes
(ystic initiation is recogniDe! as being 8ulnerable to i((ense !angersG the bo!y
an! (in! face perils that coul! lea! to insanity or !eath%
#he yogi learns the secret !octrines an! eBperiences the aakening of
!or(ant energy un!er the instruction of the guru% -nce the yogi beco(es an
a!ept6 these transfor(ations of consciousness on the playgroun! of
consciousness are re8eale! in a (ystical !ra(a% #he bo!y an! (in! (ust
un!ergo a supre(ely !angerous :ourney% #he a!ept is surroun!e! an! protecte!
by his !isciplesG secrecy an! a protecti8e silence per8a!e the at(osphere%
,n -:ai6 @itya an! ?osalin! =illia(s6 a young A(erican #heosophist6 ere
present hen 'rishna(urti eBperience! (uch of the pheno(ena%
.
@itya an!
'rishna(urti both sent Annie Besant reports of the e8ents% @itya>s account
8i8i!ly !escribes his brother>s agony% 'rishna as in pain6 fainting6 calling out in
#elugu for his (other6 asking to be taken to the oo!s in ,n!ia6 co(plaining of
!irt6 asking @itya an! ?osalin! not to touch hi(% 'rishna spoke of the presence
of (ighty BeingsG an e(ptying of the 'rishna*consciousness as e8i!ent6 an!
ith it there as so(eti(es a feeling of great presence% 7inally6 'rishna ent out
of the house an! sat un!er a pepper tree% @itya>s !escription6 though con!itione!
by #heosophical ter(inology6 re8eals beil!er(ent an! anBiety an! !eep
concern for his el!er brother% 'rishna(urti also rote an account of the
happenings to 3rs% Besant2
-n the 19th of August6 , felt acute pain at the nape of (y neck an! , ha! to cut !on (y
(e!itation to fifteen (inutes% #he pain instea! of getting better as , ha! hope!6 gre orse% #he
cli(aB as reache! on the 19th% , coul! not think6 nor as , able to !o anything6 an! , as
force! by frien!s here to retire to be!% #hen , beca(e al(ost unconscious6 though , as ell
aare of hat as happening aroun! (e% , ca(e to (yself at about noon each !ay% -n that first
!ay hile , as in that state an! (ore conscious of the things aroun! (e6 , ha! the first (ost
eBtraor!inary eBperience% #here as a (an (en!ing the roa!G that (an as (yselfG the pickaBe
he hel! as (yselfG the 8ery stone hich he as breaking as a part of (eG the ten!er bla!e of
grass as (y 8ery being an! the tree besi!e the (an as (yself% , al(ost coul! feel an! think
like the roa!(en!er6 an! , coul! feel the in! passing through the tree an! the little ant on the
1
#he kundaini energy principle6 !or(ant until aakene! by the yogi6 is likene! to a serpentG it arises at
the base of the spine6 behin! the generati8e organs6 an! ascen!s through the sushumna nadi6 piercing an!
aakening &hakra by &hakra till it eBits through the center of the scalp6 the aperture of Brah(a% #he siB
&hakras of kundaini yoga are regar!e! as siB centers of eBplosi8e but !or(ant cos(ic energy of the
nature of fire% #he route along hich these centers are place! is the spinal colu(n% #he &hakras are
likene! to a lotus2 aakene! by the rising kundaini or serpent poer6 it opens an! faces upar!s%
-n either si!e of the sushumna or (e!ian ner8e are the solar an! lunar channels6 ida an! pingaa coile!
like serpents aroun! the sushumna% #he point beteen the eyebros is the siBth &hakra or no!al point of
energy% =ith the opening of the thousan!*petale! lotus in the scalp6 the yogi is liberate!G ithin hi( he
hol!s an ineBhaustible source of energy that !oes not !issipate%
bla!e of grass , coul! feel% #he bir!s6 the !ust an! the 8ery noise ere a part of (e% Just then
there as a car passing by at so(e !istanceG , as the !ri8er6 the engine an! the tyresG as the car
ent further aay fro( (e6 , as going aay fro( (yself% , as in e8erything6 or rather
e8erything as in (e6 inani(ate an! ani(ate6 the (ountain6 the or( an! all breathing things%
All !ay long , re(aine! in this happy con!ition% , coul! not eat anything6 an! again at about siB
, began to lose (y physical bo!y6 an! naturally the physical ele(ental !i! hat it like!G , as
se(i*conscious%
#he (orning of the neBt !ay Kthe .<thL as al(ost the sa(e as the pre8ious !ay% , ate
nothing throughout the !ay6 an! , coul! not tolerate too (any people in the roo(% , coul! feel
the( in rather a curious ay an! their 8ibrations got on (y ner8es% #hat e8ening at about the
sa(e hour of siB , felt orse than e8er% , ante! nobo!y near (e nor anybo!y to touch (e% ,
as feeling eBtre(ely tire! an! eak% , think , as eeping fro( sheer eBhaustion an! lack of
physical control% 3y hea! as pretty ba! an! the top part felt as though (any nee!les ere
being !ri8en in% =hile , as in this state6 , felt that the be! on hich , as lying6 the sa(e as on
the pre8ious !ay6 as !irty an! filthy beyon! i(agination an! , coul! not lie in it% Su!!enly ,
foun! (yself sitting on the floor an! @itya an! ?osalin! asking (e to get into be!% , aske! the(
not to touch (e an! crie! out that the be! as not clean% , ent on like this for so(e ti(e till
e8entually , an!ere! onto the 8eran!ah an! sat a fe (o(ents eBhauste! an! beca(e slightly
cal(er% , began to co(e to (yself an! finally 3r% =arrington K;eneral Secretary of the
#heosophical Society in the "nite! StatesL aske! (e to go un!er the pepper tree hich is near
the house% #here , sat cross*legge! in the (e!itation posture% =hen , sat thus for so(e ti(e6 ,
felt (yself going out of (y bo!y% , sa (yself sitting !on an! ith the !elicate6 ten!er lea8es
of the tree o8er (e% , as facing the Aast%
,n front of (e as (y bo!y an! o8er the hea! , sa the Star bright an! clear% #hen , coul!
feel the 8ibration of the 4or! Bu!!haG , behel! 4or! 3aitreya an! 3aster '% /% , as so happy6
cal( an! at peace% , coul! still see (y bo!y an! , as ho8ering an! ithin (yself as the
cal(ness of the botto( of a !eep unfatho(able lake% 4ike the lake6 , felt (y physical bo!y an
unfatho(able lake% 4ike the lake , felt that (y physical bo!y ith its (in! an! e(otions coul!
be ruffle! on the surface6 but nothing6 nay nothing coul! !isturb the cal(ness of (y soul% #he
presence of the (ighty Beings as ith (e for so(e ti(e an! then #hey ere gone% , as
supre(ely happy for , ha! seen% @othing coul! e8er be the sa(e% , ha8e !runk at the clear pure
aters at the source of the fountain of life an! (y soul as appease!% @e8er (ore coul! , be
thirsty6 ne8er (ore coul! , be in utter !arkness% , ha8e seen the 4ight% , ha8e touche!
co(passion hich heals all sorro an! sufferingG it is not for (yself6 but for the orl!% , ha8e
stoo! on the (ountain top an! gaDe! at the (ighty Beings% @e8er can , be in utter !arknessG ,
ha8e seen the glorious an! healing light% #he fountain #ruth has been re8eale! to (e an! the
!arkness has been !isperse!% 4o8e in all its glory has intoBicate! (y heartG (y heart can ne8er
be close!% , ha8e !runk at the fountain of :oy an! eternal Beauty% , a( ;o!*intoBicate!Q
0
7or the neBt ten !ays 'rishna>s bo!y as Cuiet6 recuperating% -n Septe(ber
06 hoe8er6 there ere signs of an aakening of sensations in his spine an! of
his consciousness lea8ing the bo!y% Soon perio!s of acute pain began% #hree
itnesses ere present2 @itya6 ?osalin!6 an! 3r% =arrington% @itya took !etaile!
notes6 but no one coul! un!erstan! hat the e8ents signifie!% #he notes bearing
@itya>s signature an! the !ate 7ebruary 116 19.06 ere sent to 3rs% Besant% -nly
recently re!isco8ere!6 they lay for years in a (iscellaneous file in the A!yar
archi8es% @itya rote6 ,t is !ifficult for (e to !eci!e hether to rite as if it
ere a scientific processG or as if it ere a sacre! cere(ony in a te(ple% #he
inci!ents ere concentrate! an! starte! e8ery e8ening aroun! 6% #hey laste! for a
regular perio! an! ere to en! at the sa(e ti(e late in the e8ening at 8 o>clockH
on a fe !ays they laste! till 9 at night%$
+
#he seCuence of e8ents see(s to ha8e been as follos2 A8ery e8ening
'rishna (e!itate! un!er the pepper tree% -n Septe(ber 06 after he ha! finishe!
his (e!itations6 he entere! the house in a se(iconscious state an! lay !on% /e
starte! to (oan an! to co(plain of great heatG he shu!!ere! a little an! collapse!
on the couch% =hen he reco8ere! full consciousness he !i! not re(e(ber hat
ha! occurre!6 though he felt a 8ague general !isco(fort% #he neBt e8ening there
as a recurrence of the sy(pto(s% -n Septe(ber ) he ent !on to /ollyoo!
to see a !ra(atiDation of the life of Christ% /e ha! arrange! to !o this a long ti(e
ago an! !i! not ant to break the engage(ent% 'rishna tol! @itya afterar!s that
hile he as at the play in the e8ening6 he felt hi(self gra!ually losing
consciousness an! it as ith a great effort that he aakene! hi(self% /e
returne! to -:ai on the e8ening of the 6th% -n the night of Septe(ber 96 the !ay
after the full (oon6 it as still 8ery bright% @itya continue!6
As 'rishna ca(e up fro( the tree e coul! see hi( clearly% /e looke! a spectral figure in his
,n!ian clothes6 as he alke! ith a hea8y !ragging step saying a little6 scarcely able to hol!
hi(self up% As he ca(e nearer e coul! see his eyes6 they ha! a curiously !ea! look in the(6
an! though he sa us he kne none of usG he coul! still speak coherently but he as fast
beco(ing unconscious% ,t looke! so !angerous to see hi( alking unstea!ily that ?osalin! or
3r% =arrington trie! to go near to support hi(6 but he oul! cry out please !on>t touch6 -h6
please6 it hurts%$ #hen he oul! go into the porch an! lie !on on the be!% =e ha! !ran all
the blin!s so it as !ark in there though there as the brilliant (oon% ?osalin! oul! sit
nearby% After a little he oul! get up an! say to so(eone ho( none of us coul! see6 hatQ
yes ,>( co(ing$ an! start alking out an! ?osalin! oul! try to restrain hi(6 but he oul! say
,>( alright6 please !on>t touch (e% ,>( perfectly alright$ an! his 8oice oul! soun! nor(al
though a little irritate!% 1ecei8e! by this ?osalin! oul! lea8e hi( an! scarcely ha! he taken
to steps6 there oul! be a frightful crash an! he ha! fallen full length on his face6 un(in!ful
of here he fell or ho% -ut on the porch there ere boBes protru!ing fro( un!er a long bench
that runs the length of the porchG but he as absolutely unconscious of all this6 an! he oul! fall
here8er he as6 fall unrestraine!ly :ust as if he ere faintingG so(eti(es he oul! sit up on
the be! an! after (ur(uring so(ething he oul! fall backar! ith a crash on the be! an!
so(eti(es it as forar! on the floor% /e nee!e! close attention e8ery (o(ent6 an! yet hen
he realiDe! this he see(e! annoye! an! oul! affir( in a clear 8oice ,>( alright6 please
belie8e (e6 ,>( perfectly alright%$ But e8en as he sai! it his 8oice oul! trail off% All this ti(e
he as groaning an! tossing about unable to sit still6 (ur(uring incoherently an! co(plaining
of his spine%
Any noise6 e8en lo*tone! talk6 oul! !isturb hi( an! he oul! beg his
co(panions not to talk about hi(6 to lea8e hi( aloneG for e8ery ti(e they talke!
about hi( it hurt hi(% An! so it ent until eight o>clock% A little before eight he
oul! beco(e (ore peaceful6 (ore restful6 an! so(eti(es he oul! go to sleepG
gra!ually6 he oul! beco(e conscious an! nor(al%
-n the night of Septe(ber 1< 'rishna starte! calling for his (other% /e
calle! se8eral ti(es6 then he sai!6 @itya6 !o you see her5$ =hen he returne! to
nor(al consciousness6 he tol! @itya that hen his eyes reste! on ?osalin!6 the
face of their (other ca(e in beteen an! ?osalin!>s face oul! (erge ith their
(other>s face% 3e(ories of his early chil!hoo! arose an! he reli8e! his
chil!hoo! eBperiences%
@itya an! =arrington soon realiDe! that 'rishna as un!ergoing 8ery
!angerous transferences of consciousness or aakening of kundaini6 an! felt the
at(osphere charge! ith$ electricityG they felt as if they ere guar!ians of a
te(ple here sacre! cere(onies ere being perfor(e!% At ti(es those ho ere
ith 'rishna felt the presence of a Being ho as con!ucting the operations6
although they coul! neither see nor i!entify it% But 'rishna>s bo!y6 beteen
spas(s of pain6 oul! con8erse ith the unseen presence6 ho appeare! to be a
frien! an! a #eacher% 'rishna coul! not bear light or soun!G he oul! cry out at
the slightest touchG he coul! not bear too (any people aroun! hi(G the bo!y an!
(in! see(e! tune! to a high pitch of sensiti8ity% A !ull pain oul! su!!enly
concentrate on one spot an! then beco(e acute6 he oul! push e8eryone aay
an! co(plain of heat%
By Septe(ber 18 a ne phase began% #he pain as (ore intense% 'rishna
as asking the unseen presence Cuestions% /is restlessness ha! increase!G his
eyes ere open but unseeingG he oul! shi8er an! (oanG so(eti(es he oul!
shout out in pain6 Please6 oh6 please gi8e (e a (inute%$ #hen he oul! call for
his (other%
-n Septe(ber 186 at 821< P%3%6 he as sitting on the couch6 aake an! fully
conscious6 talking an! listeningG but in a fe (inutes he ent off again% #he
bo!y6 hich as like an open oun!6 starte! to go through the sa(e frightful
pain% #he pain see(e! to ha8e (o8e! to a ne part of the bo!y unaccusto(e! to
the !ea!ly heat6 an! his sobbing oul! en! in an aful6 suppresse! shriek%
'rishna as in the !ark an! @itya hear! the bo!y speak6 sob6 shriek ith pain
an! e8en beg for a (o(ent>s respite%$ #hey soon learne! to recogniDe to
8oices2 one6 the Physical ele(ental6$ the bo!y6 as @itya rites of it6 an! the
other the 8oice of 'rishna% At a Cuarter past nine 'rishna oul! gro conscious6
finally6 for the night% #he ti(e for the process see(e! (easure!6 as if a certain
Cuantity of ork ha! to be perfor(e! e8ery e8ening6 an! if it ere in any ay
interfere! ith in the beginning it as (a!e up at the en!%
A8ery night for the neBt fifteen nights he oul! ask6 in the (i!!le of his
suffering6 hat the hour as% ,n8ariably6 to the (inute6 it as alays 920< P%3%
=hen he ca(e back to nor(al consciousness6 the pain oul! be totally ipe!
out% /e listene! to @itya an! ?osalin! telling hi( hat ha! happene!G but it as
as if they ere talking of another person%
-n Septe(ber 19 the pain see(e! to be orse than before% ,t starte!
i((e!iately after he beca(e unconscious6 ithout any preli(inaries6 an! gre
orse an! orse until su!!enly 'rishna as on his feet an! running at full
spee!% #hey hel! hi( ith !ifficulty6 terrifie! that he oul! fall on the stones%
/e struggle! to get aay% After a ti(e he starte! sobbing an! ga8e a frightful
cry6 -h6 3other6 hy !i! you bear (e6 hy !i! you bear (e for this5$ /is eyes6
accor!ing to @itya6 looke! strangely unconscious6 il! an! bloo!shot6
recogniDing no one but 3other%$ /e co(plaine! a fire as burning hi(6 an! his
sobbings beca(e so terrible that he began choking an! gurglingG but this stoppe!
soon% An! again hen it beca(e beyon! en!urance6 he oul! su!!enly stan!
up an! run6 an! e oul! be roun! hi(% #hree ti(es he trie! to run aay an!
hen he sa us roun! hi( he oul! cal( !on a little% At inter8als hen the
pain as intense he oul! beg for rest for a fe (inutes an! then he oul! start
talking to his O3other> or else e oul! hear hi( talking to O#he(%> So(eti(es
he oul! say ith a great !eal of assurance6 Oyes6 rather , can stan! a lot (oreG
!on>t (in! the bo!y6 , can>t stop it fro( eeping%> $
-n the night of Septe(ber .< the pain as e8en (ore acute6 an! 'rishna
trie! to run aay fi8e or siB ti(es% /is bo!y oul! contort in !angerous an!
akar! positions6 !ue to the aful pain% @itya rote that on one occasion
'rishna6 sobbing an! eeping6 su!!enly put his hea! o8er his knees on the floor
an! turne! o8er6 nearly breaking his neckG but luckily ?osalin! as there to turn
hi( o8er si!eays% /e beca(e totally still an! for a (o(ent they coul! har!ly
feel his heart beating%
#he neBt !ay ?osalin! ha! to go aay for a fe !ays% 1uring her absence the
process slackene!6 but he continue! to co(plain of a strange pain lo !on on
the left si!e of his spine%
-n one occasion 'rishna appeare! !istraught an! felt that so(eone as
lurking aroun! the house% /e insiste! on alking to the lo surroun!ing all an!
sai! in a lou! 8oice6 ;o aay6 hat !o you (ean by co(ing here5 ;o aay% ,
!on>t kno here you go6 go behin! the hills6 but go right aay fro( here%$
#hen he ca(e back an! lay !on% Soon he starte! calling out6 Please co(e back
'rishna%$ /e kept on calling for 'rishna until he lapse! into unconsciousness%
#his as the first ti(e he ha! calle! out his on na(e% #hat night there as an
increase of pain in the back of his neck%
-n ?osalin!>s return the pain gre orse an! he co(plaine! of a burning in
the spine an! he coul! not bear too (uch light6 e8en the light of the rising (oon%
Again6 in the (i!!le of the process he got up to repel so(e unseen person% /e
appeare! angry an! the in8isible presence !i! not return% As soon as the light
beca(e unbearable they ha! to bring hi( in!oors% -ne e8ening6 toar! ) P%3%6
the at(osphere in the house change!G it gre Cuieter6 peaceful6 an! soon they
coul! feel a great Presence ho as in charge% @itya sai! it as as if6 ;reat
engines ere orking an! for a fe hours6 the house 8ibrate!%$
By -ctober . a ne phase began% #he pain ha! shifte! to 'rishna>s face an!
eyes% /e felt that they ere orking on his eyes an! sai!6 3other6 please touch
(y face6 is it still there5$ an! a little later6 3other6 (y eyes are gone6 feel the(6
they ha8e gone%$ As he sai! this he ha! starte! sobbing an! (oaning% #his
continue! till 8 P%3% By 9 P%3% he as shi8ering an! shu!!ering an! coul! har!ly
breathe%
,t appeare! as if the real 'rishna$ foun! it intensely har! to get back into his
bo!y% Accor!ing to @itya6 A8ery ti(e he trie! to ake up6 it brought on this
shi8ering%$
-n -ctober 0 he sai! to ?osalin!6 3other6 ill you look after (e6 ,>( going
a long ay off6$ an! then fell unconscious% So(e ti(e later he began to speak to
?osalin!6 asking her here 'rishna as% /e tol! her that he ha! left her in
charge6 an! no she !i! not kno here 'rishna as% An! he began to eep6
for he ha! lost 'rishna% /e refuse! to sleep before 'rishna ca(e back6 hich
as after an hour an! a half%
-ne (orning hile they ere at 3r% =arrington>s house 'rishna ent out of
his bo!y% /e ha! tol! ?osalin! that he ha! to go a long ay an! she ha! to look
after hi(% #o hours later6 he began to talk% Seeing ?osalin!>s han!6 he appeare!
astoun!e! an! aske!6 3other6 hy is your skin hite5$ /e looke! at her an!
sai!6 &ou ha8e gron younger6 hat has happene!5$ #hen6 3other6 'rishna is
co(ing in6 look6 he is stan!ing there%$ An! hen ?osalin! aske! hat he looke!
like6 he sai!6 /e is a fine tall (an6 8ery !ignifie!% /e frightens (e a little%$ #hen
he sai!6 But6 !on>t you kno hi(6 3other6 he is your son6 he knos you%$
-n the night of -ctober + 'rishna suffere! (ore than usual6 the agony as
concentrate! in his face an! eyes% /e kept saying6 -h6 please ha8e (ercy on
(e6$ an! , !on>t (ean that6 of course6 you are (erciful%$
4ater6 he tol! @itya that they ere cleansing his eyes so that he (ight be
alloe! to see /i(%$ ,t as6 he sai!6 4ike being tie! !on in the !esert6 one>s
face to the blaDing sun6 ith one>s eyeli!s cut off%$
4ater that night @itya foun! 'rishna sitting up in (e!itation an! again felt
the throbbing presence of a great Being floo!ing the roo(% All suffering ha! been
ashe! aay% 'rishna6$ @itya rote6 !i! not see /is face6 only /is bo!y in
shining hite%$
#he neBt (orning 'rishna as in a rebellious (oo!6 he as se(iconscious
but insiste! on going out% #hey ha! to stop hi(% 4ater he sai! that he ha! felt a
frightful burning in his spine an! ante! to fin! the creek in the canyon so that
he coul! sink his bo!y in it6 to relie8e the burning%
Shortly afterar! his co(panions again felt the great Presence% 'rishna>s
eyes ere eBtraor!inary brilliant an! his hole face transfigure!% =ith his entry
the at(osphere as (ar8elously change!% =e felt the presence of a supre(ely
(a:estic Being an! 'rishna ha! a look of great bliss on his face%$ 'rishna tol!
@itya6 ?osalin!6 an! =arrington to prepare the(sel8es6 for a great 8isitor oul!
co(e that night% /e aske! for the picture of the 4or! Bu!!ha to be put in his
roo(%
4ater6 hen 'rishna ca(e in fro( his (e!itation6 he tol! the( that the ;reat
Being ha! left after 'rishna>s (e!itation ha! en!e!%
#hat night as a ghastly night of suffering an! hen , look upon it6 it see(s to (e that it as
the (ost agonising night that 'rishna e8er ent through% /e suffere! terribly the folloing
nights6 an! they see(e! (uch orse6 but , think this as !ue to the piteously enfeeble!
con!ition brought on by this night% Before the suffering actually starte!6 e hear! hi( talking to
the 3aster in charge% /e as tol! not to say anything of hat as being !one to hi( an! he
ga8e his pro(iseG then he as tol! that the 8isitor oul! return later at 8%1)% 'rishna sai! /e is
co(ing at 8%1)6 then let us start Cuickly%$ #hen :ust before it as starte!6 he ha! been stan!ing
up an! e hear! hi( fall ith an aful crash an! then e hear! 'rishna apologising ,>( so
sorry , fell6 , kno , (ust not fall%$ All through the e8ening he as (ore conscious of his
physical bo!y than he ha! e8er been before% #hey tol! hi( that he (ust (ake no (o8e(ent6 for
generally he as rithing an! tisting ith the pain% But no he pro(ise! #he($ he oul!
not (o8e an! o8er an! o8er again he sai! , on>t (o8e6 , pro(ise , on>t (o8e%$ So he
claspe! his fingers tightly an! ith his knotte! han!s un!er hi(6 he lay on his back6 hile the
aful pain continue!% /e foun! it 8ery !ifficult to breathe that night an! he gaspe! for breath
continuously an! choke! repeate!ly an! hen the pain gre beyon! en!urance an! he coul! no
longer get his breath6 he :ust fainte!% #hree ti(es he fainte! that night6 an! the first ti(e he !i!
it6 e !i! not kno hat ha! happene!G e ha! hear! hi( choking an! gasping an! sobbing
ith the pain an! su!!enly after a long !ran gasp there as !ea! silence% =hen e calle! to
hi( there as no anser an! hen e ent into the roo( an! felt our ay toar!s hi(6 for the
roo( as inky black an! e !i! not kno here he lay% =e foun! hi( lying on his back so still
an! his fingers so tightly locke! that he see(e! KaL toer out of stone% =e brought hi( to
Cuickly an! three ti(es this happene!% A8ery ti(e he ca(e to6 he oul! apologise to #he( for
the aste of ti(e an! tell #he( that he ha! trie! his best to control hi(self6 but that it ha! been
beyon! control% So(eti(es #hey ga8e hi( a slight breathing space an! the pain oul! cease
an! beteen the throes of suffering he oul! start (aking so(e :oke ith the one in charge an!
he oul! laugh as if the hole thing as a :oke% An! so it ent on for an hour an! a Cuarter% By
9%+) 'rishna starte! calling for his 3other an! as ?osalin! starte! gently to go in6 he beca(e
terribly ner8ous an! calle! out ho is that6 ho is that6 ho is that5$ an! hen she ent into
the roo( he fainte!% #he entry of any person into the roo( hile he as in this sensiti8e state
see(e! to upset hi(% She as ith hi( for so(e ti(e an! presently he aske! her to go out of
the roo( for /e as co(ing%$ So ?osalin! an! , ere outsi!e on the porch an! 'rishna sat
insi!e6 cross*legge!6 as if in (e!itation% #hen e felt6 as e ha! felt earlier6 in the e8ening6 the
;reat Presence%
4ater6 hen both ?osalin! an! , ere in the roo( 'rishna began talking to people e coul!
not see% #he ork ha! been assure! of success an! apparently they ere congratulating hi(6
an! the roo( as full of 8isitors all !esiring to re:oice ith 'rishnaG but there ere too (any
for his co(fort% =e hear! hi( say #here is nothing to congratulate (e about6 you>! ha8e !one
the sa(e yourself%$
#hen they (ust ha8e left for he ga8e a !eep sigh an! lay still for a long ti(e6 too tire! to
(o8e% #hen he began to talk% 3other6$ he sai!6 e8erything ill be !ifferent no6 life ill
ne8er be the sa(e for any of us after this%$ An! again ,>8e seen /i(6 3other6 an! nothing
(atters no%$ -8er an! o8er again he sai! this an! all of us felt the truth of it6 life oul! ne8er
be the sa(e for any of us%
#hat night hen e ent to be!6 :ust before e fell asleep 'rishna began talking to
so(eone , coul! not see% , hear! 'rishna>s en! of the con8ersation% Apparently a (an ha! been
sent by the 3aster 1% '% to keep atch o8er the bo!y through the nightG 'rishna began to tell
hi( ho sorry he as to cause hi( all that trouble% #his as one of the (ost noticeable things
all through% 'rishna>s politeness an! consi!eration as eBtraor!inary6 hether he as fully
conscious or hether it as only the physical ele(ental speaking% #he (an ca(e to atch
e8ery night after this for siB or se8en nights% 'rishna as to say ,>8e seen /i( no% @othing
(atters%$
By this ti(e6 the bo!y ha! beco(e 8ery eak an! oul! constantly lapse into
unconsciousness%
#he location of the pain as constantly shifting% A fe !ays later6 on -ctober
66 the agony ha! shifte! to the scalp% So(ething see(e! to ha8e been opene! in
his hea!6 hich as causing hi( in!escribable torture% At one (o(ent he
shoute!6 Please close it up6 please close it up%$ /e screa(e! ith pain6 but they
kept opening it gra!ually% =hen he coul! no longer en!ure the pain6 'rishna
screa(e! an! then fainte!% At the en! of forty (inutes he lay ithout the
slightest flicker of (o8e(ent% Sloly6 consciousness returne!% #o their
a(aDe(ent6 his co(panions foun! they ere speaking to 'rishna as a chil!6
about four years ol! or e8en younger% /e as reli8ing certain episo!es of his
early years% /e sa three !istinct scenes% #he first6 his (other gi8ing birth to a
chil!% #o itness his (other>s agony as a terrible shock to hi(6 an! he (oane!
an! crie! out an! kept on crying out6 -h6 poor 3other6 poor 3other6 you are
bra8e 3other%$
#he neBt scene as of 'rishna an! his brother as young chil!ren6 lying
seriously ill ith (alaria%
#he last scene as the !eath of his (other% /e coul! not un!erstan! hat as
happening% =hen he sa the !octors gi8e her (e!icine6 he begge! his (other
not to take it% 1on>t take it 3other6 !on>t take it6 it is so(e beastly stuff an! it
on>t !o you any goo!% #he !octors !o not kno anything% /e is a !irty (an6
please !on>t take it 3other%$ A little later6 in a tone of horror6 he sai!6 =hy are
you so still6 3other5 =hat>s happene! an! hy !oes father co8er his face ith
his dhoti5 Anser (e6 3other6 anser (e 3other6 anser (e5$ #he chil!>s
8oice continue! to cry out till he ca(e to an! 'rishna(urti as back% #hat night
again the presence ca(e to atch o8er hi( hile he slept%
#he neBt night6 accor!ing to @itya6 #hey appeare! to be operating on his
scalp again%$ /e as agoniDe! an! crie! out in painHe8en fainting eight ti(esH
hen it beca(e too se8ere% /e begge! the( to open it sloly an! gra!ually so
that he coul! get use! to it by !egrees%$ /e as choking an! ha! !ifficulty in
breathing%
A little later he again beca(e a chil!6 an! one coul! feel his loathing for his
school% 3other6 , nee! not go to school to!ayHnee! ,5 ,>( afully ill 3other%$
An! after a hile6 3other6 let (e stay ith you6 , ill !o anything you ant6 ,
ill take castor oil6 if you like6 but let (e stay ith you%$ An! later6 3other6
you kno6 you hi! the boB of biscuits fro( usG ell6 , stole the( fro( that boB% ,
ha8e been !oing it for a long6 long ti(e%$ =hen ?osalin! laughe!6 'rishna as
8ery hurt6 an! sai!6 3other6 you are alays laughing at (e6 hy !o you laugh at
(e5$
Still later6 after talking a great !eal about snakes6 puppies6 an! beggars6 he
talke! of going into the shrine roo( here he sa a picture of a la!y sitting
cross*legge! on a !eer skin% @itya ha! a 8ague (e(ory that it (ight be a picture
of A% B% an! suggeste! this% 'rishna !i! not kno her na(e Oho is that5> he
aske! Oshe looks like so(one , kno6 only she !oes not look like that6 she>s Cuite
!ifferent%> $
Soon6 a change as apparent% By no he coul! lea8e his bo!y ith
eBtraor!inary ease an! rapi!ity6 an! the return no longer brought on shi8ering%
/e as to say later that night that they ha! left open the center in his hea!%
1
#he
(an ho( they coul! not see ca(e again to keep atch%
As the !ay progresse!6 'rishna talke! lessG he continue! to faint at night6 but
he oke soon an! he ha! greater 8itality%
#here ere still perio!s hen he beca(e a chil!% -n one occasion he spoke
of a :ourney in a bullock cart hich laste! for three or four !ays%
-n -ctober 18 the pain ca(e in freCuent spas(s6 a8es of it hich ere to
lea8e hi( eBhauste!% =e ere again blesse! ith a 8isit fro( the ;reat -ne%
#he 19th as a 8ery curious eBperience after he ca(e in fro( his (e!itation6 he
began calling o8er an! o8er again for 'rishna% /e calle! out O'rishna6 please
'rishna6 !on>t lea8e (e%> $
4ater he spoke to @itya an! ?osalin! an! aske! the( to look after 'rishna
carefully6 ne8er to ake hi( too Cuickly6 nor to startle hi(6 for it as 8ery
!angerous$G things (ight snap$ if anything ent rong% #he episo!es !ecrease!
in freCuency6 an! by @o8e(ber 19.0 they ha! en!e!%
1
#his is possibly a reference to the opening in the scalp hich in kundaini yoga is regar!e! as the
$ahasrara or the BrahmarandhraHthe fully opene! thousan!*petalle! lotus6 resting in supre(e
e(ptiness% =ith this opening co(es union an! final liberation for the yogin%
#he process6 hich coul! not be eBplaine! by 4ea!beater or 3rs% Besant6 as
to continue inter(ittently in the (onths that folloe!% /is bo!y oul! be racke!
ith pain6 it oul! thrash aroun!6 an! at ti(es oul! hit the floor% 'rishna(urti
often ha! to sen! his brother an! hoe8er else as present out of the roo(6 for
they foun! it !ifficult to itness his agony% /e oul! faint repeate!ly6 an! at the
en! of it he oul! look eBcessi8ely tire!%
,n 19.+ 'rishna an! so(e co(panions ent abroa!6 here the eBperiences
continue!% #oar! the en! of his terrible pain he behel! 8isions of the Bu!!ha6
3aitreya6 an! the other 3asters of the occult hierarchy% @itya6 !eeply perpleBe!6
rote to Annie Besant on 3arch .+ fro( -:ai on their return fro( Pergine6 ,taly2
'rishna>s process has no taken a !efinite step forar!% #he other night6 it began as usual6 none
of us eBpecting anything fresh or ne% All of a su!!en6 e all felt an i((ense rush of poer in
the house6 greater than , ha8e e8er felt since e ha8e been hereG 'rishna sa the 4or! an! the
3asterG , think also the star
1
shone out that night6 for all of us felt an intense sense of ae an!
al(ost fear that , felt before hen the star ca(e out% 'rishna afterar!s tol! us that the current
starte! as usual at the base of his spine an! reache! the base of his neck6 then one ent on the
left si!e6 the other on the right si!e of his hea! an! they e8entually (et at the centre of the
forehea!G hen they (et a fla(e playe! out of his forehea!% #hat is the bare outline of hat
happene!G none of us kno hat it (eans but the poer as so i((ense that night that it
see(s to (ark a !efinite stage% , presu(e it shoul! (ean the opening of the thir! eye%
ABcept for the 8ision of #he 4or!6$ the rest is a classic !escription of the
arousing of the kundaini%
1
#he -r!er of the Star of the Aast6 an international organiDation6 as establishe! by Annie Besant an! C%
=% 4ea!beater in 1911% 3rs% Besant an! C% =% 4% ere na(e! Protectors of the @e -r!er an! 'rishna
as !eclare! its /ea!% ?epresentati8es ere appointe! an! offices establishe! for each country% #he
ba!ge of the -r!er as a sil8er fi8e*pointe! star% A Cuarterly (agaDine as printe! in A!yar un!er the
na(e )"rad of th" $tar6 ith 'rishna as its e!itor% #he first issue appeare! in January 1911% By 191+ the
publications office as shifte! to Anglan!%
CHAPTER 5
-ur 4ife /ere ,s -ne of
,ntense ,nner Acti8ity%$
A group of his close frien!s acco(panie! 'rishna to Pergine in ,taly% 4a!y
A(ily6 ith her !aughters Betty an! 3ary6 as thereG so as /elen 'nothe6 a
young A(erican o(an an! a close frien! of 'rishna:i>sG 1r% Shi8aka(u6
?uk(ini Arun!ale>s sisterG 3altiG the ife of Patar!hanG another close frien! of
'>s6 ?uth6 John Cor!es6 the Austrian representati8e of the $tar6 ho ha! been in
A!yar in 191< an! 1911 an! at the ti(e as responsible for 'rishna>s physical
eBercises6 training an! elfare% ?a(a ?ao an! Ja!unan!an Prasa!6 close
associates of '>s fro( ,n!ia6 an! 1% ?a:agopal ere also in the group% #his
anony(ous account of ' in Pergine as foun! a(ong Shi8a ?ao>s papers after
his !eath% ,t is possibly a !iary kept by @itya or Cor!es% #hough the author>s
i!entity is not knon6 the !ocu(ent appears authentic%
RRRRRRR
August /0# 10/12 -ur life here is one of intense inner acti8ity an! al(ost
co(plete outer inertia% -r that is hat it shoul! be an! hat 'rishna:i !esires%
-n pre8ious holi!ays of this kin!6 hen 'rishna:i has collecte! aroun! hi(
those ho( he !esire! to teach an! help an! has retire! to so(e Cuiet spot aay
fro( ci8iliDation6 there has been no concerte! plan of action% 'rishna:i has of
course spoken to each of his folloers in!i8i!ually6 but ne8er before ha8e the
3asters been spoken of to us all collecti8ely6 as in our present group6 so that
e8ery gra!e an! those ho ere still apart (ight listen an! talk openly about
the(%
=e are here for but one purpose6 to take !efinite steps$ an! thereby beco(e
!irectly useful to #he(% Aach one has his opportunityG each one is at a !ifferent
stage6 an! therefore capable of ser8ing those abo8e an! helping those belo%
M#er(s such as abo8e an! belo are apt to (islea!6 , use the( not to i(ply a
superiority an! inferiority6 but only a !istinction%N
#he regi(e for the !ay is6 (e!itation at a Cuarter past eight6 breakfast at eight
thirty% A alk !on to an open stubble fiel! here e play roun!ers for an hour
or to6 an! then one hour>s talk un!er the trees6 of the 3asters an! of ho to
ser8e #he(% 4unch at 1.%0<Hrest or in!i8i!ual ork6 if ishe!6 until threeG
ga(es in the Castle groun!s6 bath6 an! !inner at siB% After hich all separate for
the night6 so(e of us going to the SCuare toer here certain intensi8e
preparation goes on for an hour% Be! at 8%0<%
'rishna:i is of course the central figure of each !ayG of the ga(es6 an! of the
ork% Aroun! hi( e8erything KisL centre!G 'rishna:i>s life is one of absolute
!e8otion to the 4or!6 such passionate orship of the i!ealistic an! the beautiful
Han! yet he is so perfectly hu(an an! so near to his fello (en% @o or!s can
!epict his character6 but he see(s like a hu(an creature ho has perfecte!
hi(self to a great eBtent6 rather than a !i8ine being in an i(perfect hu(an for(%
Surely hat the 4or! ill !esire6 ill be a perfect hu(an instru(ent6 so that he
can contact hu(anity on its on le8el% #he !i8inity /e /i(self ill sho forth
through the instru(ent% @e8er eBcept at the co(ing of a =orl! #eacher to /is
orl! is there such a union beteen those things hich are 1i8ine an! those that
are hu(an% 7or usually hu(anity reaches up to 1i8inity an! the (o(ent it
touches it beco(es one ith it6 but in this case 1i8inity reaches !on to a hu(an
instru(ent6 uses it6 orks through it as separate an! apart fro( it6 an! retires
again lea8ing the instru(ent still a hu(an instru(ent% Certainly the e8olution of
the hu(an instru(ent is often so Cuickene! that it beco(es al(ost i((e!iately
super*hu(an Mthrough this ser8iceN but this is a separate process% 3an (ay reach
up an! beco(e 1i8ine but he cannot use !i8ine poers hile he is still hu(an%
=hereas the 1i8ine can !escen! an! use hu(an poers6 e8en though he is no
longer hu(an%
#o!ay 'rishna:i as 8ery ali8e at breakfast6 an! as often our con8ersation
as not printable% #he (orning after a 8ery serious talk or har! e8ening>s ork6
'rishna:i ill often be (ost fri8olous6 (aking :okes an! laughing at the(
uproariously6 ith his su!!en thun!ering outbursts of (irth6 or prolonge!6
infectious giggle% #hese to things are strange about hi(Hfirst6 his capacity to
change fro( the (ost serious6 real an! glorious (oo!6 to one of laughter an!
:oking K6L instantaneouslyG secon!ly that no :oke he utters hoe8er 8ulgar6 (akes
the usual at(osphere surroun!ing such talk% ,t see(s as though his beauty6 his
absolute clarity of being6 seeps e8erything before it6 so that he can touch any
person6 or ob:ect or sub:ect6 an! i(part his cleanness to it6 en!o it ith the
fresh air of his presence% 'rishna:i trie! to re(e(ber his on eBperiences% =hen
he an! @itya first sa C% =% 4% he shoe! the( pictures of the 3aster 3% an!
the 3aster '% /% an! aske! the( hich they preferre!% =hen they chose the one
of the 3aster '% /% he sai! it as as he eBpecte!%
=hen 'rishna:i as young the 3asters ere 8ery real to hi(6 then it as that
he rote At the 7eet of the 3aster6$ afterar!s ca(e a perio! hen for hi( the
reality as not so intense6 he only belie8e! because of hat C% =% 4% an! A% B%
sai!% @o again the intense realiDation has returne!% @itya sai! that our group
shoul! (ake an at(osphere hich shoul! attract$ #heir attention% /e spoke of
the 8arious influences at -:ai6 on the !ifferent nights% #hat of the 3aster 3% as a
poer that (a!e you feel capable of anything% #hat of the 3aster '% /% as
perfect kin!nessHit as as if honey ere entering into you hen he spoke% An!
that of the 3aster '% /% as absolute cleanness6 perfect clarity% #hen of the
greatest of all influences6 that of the 4or!6 as e also felt at Ahral!
1
Hpeace
Hthe peace that passeth un!erstan!ing%$
'rishna:i spoke of A!yar as of a (ighty poer house6 here either you
beca(e a saint6 ent (a!6 or ere turne! aay as useless by an unerring
atcher%
1
'rishna6 @itya6 an! so(e of their frien!s ha! 8isite! Ahral! in Austria before their trip to Pergine%
, ha8e ne8er seen hi( so ra!iantly beautiful as he is at nights6 at these ti(es%
/is eyes laugh ith a strange unearthly :oy6 hich is triu(phant an! yet so
gentle% ;entleness an! a seet keen :oy robe hi(6 an! sho in the lines an!
cur8es of his face6 an! an aro(a of roses surroun!s an! en8elopes hi(% At ti(es6
he shi8ers as if col! an! at other ti(es he is too orn out6 but on these nights6
these particular nights of hich , speak6 the real 'rishna6 all that (akes hi( hat
he is in the !eepest sense6 co(es an! looks out through his eyes%
$"pt"m%"r 1# 10/12 4a!y A(ily co(pares ?a:agopal to St% Peter% /e is the
Buffoon a(ongst the present !isciples it see(sG an! he !early lo8es his position
as /igh Court Jester% #o kno 'rishna:i6 one has to kno his folloers%
?a:agopal as once St% Bernar! of Clair8eauB6 an! at other ti(es he has been a
8enerable priestG an! both the saint an! priest peep out through hi( o8er an! o8er
again% Perhaps especially the latter% /e talks perpetually6 an! hen (aking a
speech is lengthy an! te!ious6 in fact he ser(onises% /e is or rather preten!s to
be 8ery fon! of foo!6 this being his chief topic for :okes etc% =hen 'rishna:i is
straine! an! tire!6 or the party in general6 !ull6 ?a:agopal has alays so(e :oke6
or a(using phrase to han!6 an! he laughs at hi(self so persistently that e8eryone
(ust :oin in% ,t is sai! that the one Cuality all the 3asters ha8e6 an! ithout
hich it is i(possible for the !isciple to progress6 is a sense of hu(our% An! the
(ore the spiritual life is le! the (ore this beco(es apparent% A sense of hu(our
ill relie8e the tension of feelings an! thoughts un!er the (ost trying
circu(stances6 an! often it is :ust that that pre8ents a !efinite break in the ork6
or in!i8i!ually in a person% Certainly ?a:agopal>s it is not of the clearest6
sharpest type6 but then it allos 'rishna:i an! the others to take part an! a!! their
Cuota% @ee!less to say6 ?a:agopal gets a great !eal of teasing6 but then so !oes
e8eryone ho co(es near 'rishna:i6 that being one ay through hich he
influences peopleG especially of certain types%
-ne of 'rishna:i>s theories is that people (ust surely be able to e8ol8e
through :oy alone6 arri8ing at ;o!hea! as naturally as a floer opens to the sun%
At one ti(e it see(e! al(ost to orry hi(6 that e8eryone he (et ha! e8ol8e! so
far by the long !e8ious ays of sorro6 an! so fe ha! taken the si(ple ay of
:oy% , think , ha8e hear! hi( e8en say that he has ne8er (et anyone ho e8ol8e!
through :oy alone6 ne8ertheless it is a possibility6 hich oul! beco(e 8ery
co((on if only our present ci8iliDation ere not so co(pleB% Be natural6 be
happy%$ So ?a:agopal plays a great role in this (ighty !ra(a6 in hich 'rishna:i
is the first to laugh6 the easiest to be a(use!% Be a ;o!6 an! laugh at yourself%$
Speaking of his to years of training ith 4ea!beater 'rishna:i sai! he as
bore! to tears6$ literally% All !esires ere burnt outG for instance6 ' an! @ aske!
for bicycles6 Mprobably as they ere s(all boys they pestere! C% =% 4% for the(NG
the bicycles ere foun! an! a ten (ile ri!e as not only !one once but they ha!
to !o it e8ery !ay for to years% Also they eBpresse! a !esire for porri!geG they
ha! itHbut again e8ery !ay for a yearG if they ha! !irty feet6 or as once @itya
thre a stone at a frog6 it as Pupils of the 3aster !o not !o these things%$ But
it (ust ha8e see(e! har! then for the s(all !ark boy ho as to beco(e the
'rishna:i of to!ayHthe Jesus of to(orro%
/e has ha! (any li8es as a o(an6 an! these ha8e left a 8ery strong trace in
his characterG his eBceptional poer of intuition (akes hi( unlike (ost (en% At
ti(es he can be as cruel as he can be the re8erse6 but this alays for a purpose%
-ne short sharp phrase6 hich his flashing eyes e(phasise to an unbearable
!egree6 that is all% 'rishna:i ill ne8er offer to talk to anyone6 unless an approach
is (a!e6 an! then for the first to or three ti(es that a serious con8ersation is
broache!6 he is terribly shy%
$"pt"m%"r 2# 10/12 4a!y A(ily6 Cor!es an! , sat in 'rishna:i>s roo(%
'rishna:i being in the one belo% #he ti(e as about a Cuarter to se8en6 an! all
as the sa(e as on or!inary nights6 eBcept for a (agic silence that ca(e !on
on us% So(ehere in the toer @itya6 ?a(a ?ao an! ?a:agopal ere chanting6
an! incense afte! in through the cracks on the !oor% =e all felt /is Presence6
ho oul! e8en the !ullest fail to recogniDe the ineffable peace that per8a!e! the
buil!ing% =e sat silent an! rapt$ for an hour%
Afterar!s hen e ere all together6 an! 'rishna:i sat in our (i!st it as
as if e ha! all only :ust foun! each otherG an! as e spoke of hat ha!
happene!6 a lo seet laughter6 of greatest ineBpressible :oy see(e! to co(e to
our lips% ,f it is like this no6 hat ill it be hen the ti(e co(es5$
$"pt"m%"r 11# 10/12 #his afternoon instea! of playing the usual 8olley*ball6$
e all lay out on the rocks hich surroun! the SCuare #oer% 'rishna:i sCuatte!
on the rocks ith ?a(a ?ao6 eBa(ining a s(all yello snail ith great interest%
-nce before so(e years ago6 , re(e(ber being ith 'rishna:i hen he
!isco8ere! a colony of ants an! spent the hole (orning fee!ing the( ith
sugar6 stirring the( up an! atching the( carry eggs an! rebuil! their ho(e%
Presently6 another snail as foun! an! the to ere (a!e to cral o8er each
other an! up an! !on precipitous crags% At Ahral! last year6 he as lying
a(ongst the long grass an! floers6 hen a butterfly settle! on his han!6 an!
soon he ha! one or to poise! on his finger% /is !elight as unboun!e!% /e has
a lo8e of all creatures great an! s(all6 in!ee! anything that is beautiful or natural
interests hi(G he ill chase a grasshopper folloing its (o8e(ents an! noting
the colour of its ingsG or ith his custo(ary , sayQ$ ill stan! al(ost
enrapture! before a beautiful scene% Just look at that lake6 it>s so s(ooth6 like
iceHan! !ark green% See the reflections in it5 -h*ee you shoul! see 4ake ;ene8a
Hso blue%$
'rishna:i rea!s a s(all passage out of #he ;ospel of Bu!!ha$ in (e!itation
each (orning% /e is in!ee! a !e8otee6 an! the 8ery soun! of the na(e of the
4or! Bu!!ha6 see(s al(ost to (ake hi( tre(ble ith a feeling of ut(ost
orship% #here as one sentence to!ay6 in hich the 4or! Bu!!ha sai!6 that the
!isciple ho li8es in the orl! (ust be like a lotus% ,n ,n!ia6 the lotus6
sy(boliDes purity% ,ts ability to blosso( fully hile roote! in a (u!!y6 slushy
pon! signifies the hu(an ability to floer in purity an! rise out of any con!ition
hoe8er !ark an! sullie!%
'rishna:i as speaking to (e this afternoon% /e spoke of the 4or! Bu!!ha
an! that state of eBistence hich is absolutely ithout self% /e is thinking (uch
of being absolutely i(personal these !ays6 an! alrea!y he see(s to ha8e !i8e!
!eep into that clear ell hich is unsullie! by the (u! of self% As he spoke of the
4or! Bu!!ha6 a ne orl! lay stretche! before one6 in hich all personal lo8e
an! a(bition !ie! aay an! beca(e as naught6 only an i(personal6 tre(en!ous
unshakeable lo8e re(aine!% #he full realisation of life ithout self only ca(e to
'rishna:i hile he as at -:ai6 an! e8en he fin!s it al(ost i(possible to
!escribe% /e spoke of ho hen all the 3asters ere asse(ble! together6 the
co(ing of the 4or! Bu!!ha as like the north in!6 so free fro( anything e8en
rese(bling self% /e sai!2 =hene8er , see the picture of the 4or! Bu!!ha6 , say
to (yself6 , a( going to like it%$
#he i(age of the 4or! 3aitreya has been appearing to hi( on se8eral
occasions% At Pergine on the last appearance /e as to gi8e 'rishna(urti a
(essageH#he happiness you seek is not far offG it lies in e8ery co((on stone%$
,n another (essage6 /e con8eye! 1o not look for the ;reat ones hen they
(ay be 8ery near you%$ 7or the neBt three e8enings6 'rishna as to laugh often6
tell co(ic storiesH(any (e(bers of the party ere shocke! at his beha8iour%
CHAPTER 6
, an! 3y Brother Are -ne$
3rs% Besant (a!e her entry into the ,n!ian political scene in 19106 :ust before the
outbreak of =orl! =ar ,% "n!er the gui!ance an! blessings of the ?ishi Agastya
Mho6 accor!ing to the #heosophical Society6 ha! special charge in the occult
hierarchy of the !estiny of ,n!iaN6 she as launche! into the center of the
groing political fer(ent%
She as alrea!y fa(ous throughout the country% 'non for her brilliant
oratory6 she as recogniDe! as an e!ucator of the highest or!er an! a!(ire! for
her courage as a social refor(er% Concerne! as she as ith ne 8alues6 an!
ith her i((ense pri!e in ,n!ian culture an! thought6 her entry into politics as
elco(e! by her (any intellectual frien!s an! a!(irers% =ith her te(pera(ent
it as ine8itable that she oul! gro !eeply in8ol8e!% Soon she lost contact ith
the occult hierarchyG her insights into the sacre! an! her psychic poers began to
ebb6 an! she ha! to rely on C% =% 4ea!beater to bring through (essages fro( the
occult orl! of the 3asters%
By 19.)6 ith groing age6 3rs% Besant>s (ental faculties began to !ecline
an! ith it her iron control of the affairs of the Society% #he intrigues an!
(achinations to gain poer o8er her an! thus of the Society ere gaining
(o(entu(% Aare of her failure to reaaken kundaini shakti &hakras Mor the siB
centers of !or(ant psychic energy place! along the spinal colu(nN an! her
aspirations to regain contact ith the 3ahat(as6 (any of her associates clai(e!
clair8oyant poers an! the ability to bring through instructions fro( the 3asters%
1abbling in the occult6 clai(ing to ha8e aakene! the serpent of kundaini6
seeking poer an! gi8ing free play to illusion6 often linking hat !i! not fit their
sche(e of things as e(anating fro( black poers6 the actions of so(e of its
senior (e(bers ere to (ake a (ockery of the #heosophical Society%
,n Sy!ney6 Australia6 4ea!beater6 cla! in purple robes ith croDier an!
:eele! cross6 as busy creating the at(osphere an! the energy for the
e(ergence of the siBth root race%
1
Surroun!ing hi(self ith young boys an! girls
ho ere his chosen !isciples6 his occult poers an! their uses ha! reache!
biDarre le8els% /e as (agnetiDing :eels for fairies in the @ational Park in
Sy!ney6 in return for per(ission to take so(e fairies back to #he 3anor6$
here he an! his !isciples li8e!% #o a!! to his occult resources6 hile crossing
the ferry in Sy!ney harbor 4ea!beater clai(e! to be creating in8isible nets in
hich he caught ater sylphs fro( the seaG attaching the( to his aura6 he sent
the( out on co((an! to succor people in !istress%
1
1
,n #heosophy the siBth root race oul! follo the fifth root raceHour present societyG si(ilar to the
co(ing of the ACuarian Age%
,n Aurope6 ;eorge Arun!ale an! =e!goo! clai(e! to ha8e establishe! a
!irect channel of co((unication ith the occult hierarchy an! to ha8e been
accepte! as !isciples by the 3ahachohan% #he at(osphere as charge! ith
eBcite(ent as a nu(ber of ne initiations ere announce! by 3rs% Besant as
brought through by Arun!ale%
/a8ing been or!aine! Bishops of the 4iberal Catholic Church6 the purple*
cla! Arun!ale an! =e!goo! ere in rapi! succession to attain Arhathoo!
1
by
passing through their thir! an! fourth initiations% Arun!ale>s ife6 ?uk(ini6
.
passe! three initiations in three !ays%
.
3rs% Besant an! 4ea!beater ere alrea!y
Arhats6 ha8ing passe! the fourth initiation% 'rishna(urti6 in -:ai nursing his
seriously ill brother @itya6 as unaare of the occult fer(ent taking place in the
@etherlan!s at /uiDen an! later at the Star Ca(p in -((en6 an annual
con8ention atten!e! by (e(bers of the -r!er of the Star% =ithout his knole!ge
an announce(ent as (a!e that his astral bo!y fro( -:ai an! Jinara:a!asa>s
fro( A!yar ha! tra8ele! an! appeare! before the (agnificence of the gathere!
occult hierarchy to recei8e their blessings in their :ourney through the fourth
initiation% 4ater6 hen the ca(p as o8er6 3rs% Besant at /uiDen calle! 4a!y
A(ily6 3iss Bright6 an! Shi8a ?ao to her roo( an! tol! the( that she an!
4ea!beater6 'rishna:i6 Arun!ale6 an! =e!goo! ha! passe! their fifth an! final
initiation% All of the( ere no not only Arhats but A!epts6 an! so free of the
causal chain of kar(a an! rebirth%
A report that appeare! in the #heosophist :ournal )"rad of th" $tar gi8es
so(e insight into the -((en ca(p6 here these great ti!ings ere being
announce! by 3rs% Besant% "n!er the hea!ing By co((an! of the 'ing6$ the
)"rad publishe! 3rs% Besant>s or!s2
#he ne =orl! #eacher ill choose6 as before6 his tel8e Apostles% , ha8e only the co((an!
to (ention se8en ho ha8e reache! the stage of Arhatship%%% #he first to6 (y brother Charles
4ea!beater6 an! (yself6 passe! that great initiation at the sa(e ti(e% #he other Arhats are6 C%
Jinara:a!asa6 ;eorge Arun!ale6 hose consecration as Bishop as necessary6 as the last step of
his preparation for the great fourth step of initiation% -scar 'ollerstron6 3rs% ?uk(ini Arun!ale6
'rishna:i6 an! Bishop =e!goo!%
0
4ater6 realiDing that she ha! (a!e a (a:or error by inclu!ing the na(e of
'rishna(urti6 ho as the 8ehicle6 in the list of Apostles6 she correcte! her
state(ent% Farious other lists eBiste! in hich ere inclu!e! the na(es of 4a!y
A(ily6 @itya6 ?a:agopal6 an! #heo!ore St% John6 a gol!en*haire! fifteen*year*ol!
protJgJ of 4ea!beater%
3rs% Besant further ent on to !eclare the three lines of acti8ity the Society
oul! follo in the future% A ne orl! religion (ust be establishe!6 ith Annie
Besant as the hea!% A ne orl! uni8ersity (ust be set up ith Besant as rector6
Arun!ale as principal6 an! =e!goo! as !irectorHbecause6 accor!ing to 3rs%
1
Arhat is a sramani& MBu!!histPJainN ter( in!icating the highest spiritual attain(ent for a (onk belo
the status of Bu!!haPJina% ,n the #heosophical spiritual hierarchy6 a!epts ere (asters or (ahat(as%
3e(bers of the ;reat =hite Brotherhoo!6 they ha! attaine! perfection but re(aine! in hu(an for(6 to
help in the e8olution of Seekers on the Path of 1iscipleship%
.
?uk(ini as the South ,n!ian Brah(in ife of ;eorge Arun!ale% She ca(e fro( a pro(inent fa(ily of
#heosophists% A (a:or cultural personality6 she establishe! a ell*knon !ance an! (usic aca!e(y6
'alakshetra6 in 3a!ras% She !ie! in 1986%
Besant6 he knos both si!esHor!inary an! occult%$ She goes on to say that
you shoul! not oppose the( as they are part of the ork of the 'ing%$
3eanhile Arun!ale6 clai(ing the poer of prophecy6 sai!6
, think there is no one in the orl! ho has so (agnificent6 so (ar8ellous a capacity for self
efface(ent6 as has (y brother @itya% #he ay in hich he loses hi(self in his brother is one of
the (ost beautiful things , ha8e seen2 An! , ant you to re(e(ber hat , a( saying to!ay6
because , 8enture to think it is in the nature of prophecy% , think that as the years pass6 not only
shall e see our 'rishna(urti lea!ing the life to hich he is so supre(ely !e!icate!6 but e
shall also see at his right han! his great brother recognise! throughout the orl! as one of its
greatest states(an*lea!ers%
@itya !ie! less than four (onths after these or!s ere sai!%
+
3eanhile6 @itya>s illness ha! taken a turn for the orse% Arun!ale ha! gi8en
?a:agopal6 ho as present at the ca(p an! ho ha! been (a!e 1eacon of the
4iberal Catholic Church6 an a(ulet to take to @itya6 specially (agnetiDe! by the
3ahachohan% #he great ones of the hierarchy ha! state! that @itya oul! li8e
an! be one of the (ain supporters for the ork of the =orl! #eacher% Accor!ing
to Arun!ale6 @itya>s life as 'rishna>s boon on beco(ing an Arhat%$
)
'rishna6 hearing reports of Apostles an! Arhats6 rapi! initiations6 orl!
religion an! orl! uni8ersities6 as beil!ere! an! !eeply !istresse!% 4ea8ing
@itya un!er the protection of the 3asters6 he !eparte! for Aurope ith
?a:agopal% 4a!y A(ily6 ho ha! been present at the ca(p an! ha! herself
un!ergone her secon! initiation6 ha! co(e to (eet hi( at the !ock% 'rishna(urti
tol! her his 8ies in no uncertain ter(s% /e refuse! to accept the initiations or
the Apostles% /e as !eeply skeptical of the orl! religion an! the orl!
uni8ersity% /e !i! not ant to hurt 3rs% Besant in her ol! age6 an! so refraine!
fro( openly 8oicing his protestG but he con8eye! his (isgi8ings to her%
3rs% Besant as shattere! by 'rishna(urti>s re:ection of the initiations6
Apostles6 orl! religion6 an! orl! uni8ersity% /er (ental con!ition rapi!ly
began to !eteriorate% She shoe! signs of ageing6 loss of (e(ory an! a
ten!ency to focus on the past%$
6
But this !i! not in any ay curtail her acti8ities
or her total co((it(ent to 'rishna(urti as the =orl! #eacher%
By early @o8e(ber 19.) 3rs% Besant6 'rishna:i6 ?a:agopal6 ?osalin!6
=e!goo!6 Shi8a ?ao6 an! ?uk(ini an! ;eorge Arun!ale left for ,n!ia to
participate in the Jubilee celebrations to be hel! in A!yar% 'rishna(urti>s faith in
the 3asters an! their assurance regar!ing @itya>s ell being as unCuestione!%
Aarly in 19.)6 hile in A!yar6 @itya ha! been !rea!fully ill% -n 7ebruary 1<6
19.)6 'rishna(urti rote a letter to 3rs% Besant !escribing a !rea( in hich he
ha! 8isite! the ;reat Brotherhoo! an! plea!e! ith the( for his brother>s life2
=ith regar! to (y !rea(6 , re(e(ber going to the 3aster>s house an! asking an! begging to let
@itya get ell an! to let hi( li8e% #he 3aster sai! that , as to go to the 4or! 3aitreya an! ,
ent there an! , i(plore! there6 but , got the i(pression that it as not /is business an! that ,
shoul! go to the 3ahachohan% So6 , ent there% , re(e(ber all this so clearly% /e as seate! in
his chair6 ith great !ignity I (agnificent un!erstan!ing6 ith gra8e an! kin!ly eyes% 3y futile
!escription is so absur!6 but6 it is i(possible to con8ey the great i(pression of it all% , tol! hi(
that , oul! sacrifice (y happiness or anything that as reCuire! to let @itya li8e6 for , felt this
thing as being !eci!e!% /e listene! to (e an! ansere! /e ill be ell%$ ,t as such a relief
that all (y anBiety has co(pletely !isappeare! an! , a( gla!%
=ith regar! to (y on preparation6 , !on>t kno hat has been !eci!e! but , a( illing to
!o anything% ,t has been 8ery ba! an! , a( feeling 8ery tire! an! rather eak6 but it can>t be
helpe!%
#hank /ea8en6 you ill be here6 (y on (other I , lo8e you6 ith all (y heart an! soul%
&ours 'rishna%
9
#his !irect (eeting ith the 3asters ha! con8ince! 'rishna:i of the poers
of the ;reat Beings to prolong @itya>s life% ,f e pause an instant to eBa(ine
'rishna:i>s contact ith the 3asters6 their (anifestations6 an! 'rishna:i>s
co((unication ith the(6 it beco(es e8i!ent that his encounters ith 3aster '%
/%6 the 3ahachohan6 3aitreya6 an! the Bu!!ha ere 8ision6 often in the !rea(
state% #his ha! happene! so hen he as a chil!G ith his ten!er consciousness
eBpose! to the esoteric i(agery an! thought for(s of 4ea!beater6 he naturally
sa the 3asters in the likenesses picture! in the Asoteric Section of the
#heosophical Society% ,t as so hen he !escribe! his (eetings ith 3aster '%
/% in his early letters to 3rs% Besant6 an! traces of it ere to be foun! in the
process at -:ai6 though by then he as freeing hi(self of 8isions6 physical
(anifestations6 an! 8isual i(agery% ,n the early years no sharp !i8ision eBiste!
for 'rishna:i beteen the !rea( state an! the state of being aake% Fisions6
!rea(s6 an! actual (anifestations of thought for(s for hi( appeare! to ha8e the
sa(e reality% 4ater he as to say that all i(ages an! (anifestations6 hoe8er
profoun!6 ere pro:ections of the (in!% =ith the !eath of @itya an! the
eBplosi8e sorro that brought hi( face to face ith the actual6 all physical
references to the 3asters cease!%
A8en before that6 on boar! ship back to ,n!ia6 Arun!ale starte! bringing
through (essages fro( the 3ahachohan chi!ing 'rishna(urti on his skepticis(
an! subtly i(plying that unless he accepte! the re8elations brought through by
Arun!ale at /uiDen an! -((en an! confir(e! the na(es of the people ho ha!
been (a!e A!epts6 @itya oul! !ie% 'rishna(urti refuse!%
=hile in the SueD Canal6 'rishna:i recei8e! a telegra( fro( @itya saying that
he ha! contracte! influenDa% #he neBt !ay another cable as recei8e! in hich
@itya sai!6 7lu rather (ore serious% Pray for (e%$ 'rishna(urti6 faith unshaken6
tol! Shi8a ?ao that the 3asters oul! not ha8e let hi( lea8e -:ai if his brother
as !estine! to !ie% -n @o8e(ber 106 in the (i!st of a thun!erstor(6 they
recei8e! a cable announcing @itya>s !eath%
Shi8a ?ao6 ho as sharing the cabin ith 'rishna(urti6 has left a 8i8i!
account of hat folloe!%
3rs% Besant aske! (e to take her to 'rishna(urti>s cabin% She ent in alone6 to speak to hi(%
#he nes broke hi( co(pletely2 it !i! (ore6 as , sa for (yself !uring the rest of the 8oyage%
/is entire philosophy of lifeHthe i(plicit faith in the future as outline! by 3rs% Besant an! 3r%
4ea!beater6 @itya>s 8ital part in it6 ere shattere! at that (o(ent% At night he oul! sob an!
(oan an! cry out for @itya6 so(eti(es in his nati8e #elugu6 hich in his aking consciousness6
he coul! not speak% 1ay after !ay6 he see(e! to change6 gripping hi(self together in an effort to
face lifeHbut ithout @itya%
8
'rishna an! @itya ha! share! their loneliness in an alien orl!G laughe!
togetherG tol! co(ic storiesG tra8ele! togetherHplanne! their future ork an! life
together%
1
=riting after his brother>s !eath6 'rishna:i as to say2 An ol! !rea(
is !ea! an! a ne one is being born% A ne 8ision is co(ing into being an! a
ne consciousness is being unfol!e!H, ha8e ept6 but , !o not ant others to
eepG but6 if they !o6 , kno hat it (eans% @o6 , kno6 no e are
inseparable% /e an! , ill ork together6 for , an! (y brother are one%$
By the ti(e 'rishna(urti6 ith 1r% Besant6 reache! A!yar6 'rishna(urti ha!
e(erge! fro( his encounter ith sorro i((ensely Cuiet6 ra!iant6 an! free of all
senti(ent an! e(otion% But his belief in the 3asters an! the hierarchy ha!
un!ergone a total re8olution% /e as rarely to refer to the 3asters in physical
for( again% ,n later years6 speaking haltingly of this perio!6 'rishna(urti
accepte! that perhaps the intensity of sorro ha! triggere! a 8ast6 or!less
perception% An intelligence that ha! taken long years to (ature6 that ha! reste! in
abeyance6 as to function in the (o(ent of acuteness of suffering%
.
1
,n a letter fro( -:ai 7ebruary .86 19.06 @itya ha! ritten to 3rs% Besant 'rishna an! , are full of
sche(es e ant to carry out in ,n!iaG an! e ant to talk to you about the( an! e both ant to get
back6 , ha8e ne8er in (y life been so ho(esick for ,n!ia6 California has (a!e an ,n!ian of (e% , a(
beginning to realiDe in a s(all ay of course6 hat you feel about ,n!ia%
=ith all (y lo8e6
@itya%$
9
.
,n a (essage to the ,nternational Self*Preparation ;roup shortly after @itya>s !eath6 'rishna rote6 7or
instance6 hen (y brother !ie!6 , felt utterly lost% &ou ha8e no i!ea ho , felt for to or three !aysHfor
(ore than that6 for a eek perhaps% , still (iss hi(G , shall alays (iss hi( physically6 but , feel that he
an! , are orking together6 that e are alking along the sa(e path6 on the sa(e (ountain si!e6 seeing
the sa(e floers6 the sa(e creatures6 the sa(e blue sky6 the sa(e clou!s an! trees% #hat is hy , feel as
if , ere part of hi(G an! only hen , get tire! !o , begin to say2 O3y brother is not here>% But at once (y
(in! pulls (e up an! tells (e ho absur! is such a thought%$
1<
CHAPTER 7
#he Personality of
J% 'rishna(urti
/as Been Salloe! "p
in the 7la(es%$
Before the Jubilee con8ention co((ence! at A!yar6 3rs% Besant trie! to resol8e
the tensions beteen 'rishna:i an! the (ain (entors of the #heosophical
Society% She brought the young #eacher to the roo( here 4ea!beater6
Jinara:a!asa6 Arun!ale6 an! =e!goo! ha! gathere!6 an! aske! ' hether he
oul! accept those chosen as Apostles as his !isciples% ' replie! that he oul!
only accept 3rs% Besant%
At the Star Congress that folloe! the Jubilee con8ention6 ' spoke un!er the
ancient banyan treeG the sun filtere! through its outstretche! branches an! its
nu(erous roots6 transfor(ing it into a (agical forest of light an! sha!o%
Su!!enly6 in the (i!st of his talk6 he electrifie! his au!ience by changing his
speech fro( the thir! to the first person% ?eferring to the =orl! #eacher to co(e
he sai!6 /e co(es only to those ho ant6 ho !esire6 ho longH$ an! then
su!!enly6 , co(e for those ho ant sy(pathy6 ho ant happiness6 ho are
longing to fin! happiness in all things% , co(e to refor( an! not to tear !on6 ,
co(e not to !estroy6 but to buil!%$ 3any people ho ere present felt the ti(bre
of the 8oice change6 a strength an! poer enter the or!s% 4ater 3rs% Besant as
to say6 #he e8ent (arks the consecration of the chosen 8ehicle%$
1
7ro( A!yar6 'rishna(urti as to 8isit Faranasi in 7ebruary% /e as gi8ing
talks to the boys an! girls of the schools at 'a(accha% /e returne! ith high
fe8er brought on by foo! poisoning% /e as a!8ise! to rest an! ent up to
-otaca(un!% =hile there he as
ABperi(enting ith (yself6 not 8ery successfully at first6 trying to !isco8er ho , coul! !etach
(yself an! see the bo!y as it is% , ha! been eBperi(enting ith it for to or three !aysHit (ay
ha8e been a eekHan! , foun! that for a certain length of ti(e , coul! Cuite easily be aay
fro( the bo!y an! look at it% , as stan!ing besi!e (y be!6 an! there as the bo!y on the be!H
a (ost eBtraor!inary feeling% An! fro( that !ay there has been a !istinct sense of !etach(ent6
of !i8ision beteen the ruler an! the rule!6 so that the bo!y6 though it has its cra8ings6 its
!esires to an!er forth an! to li8e an! en:oy separately for itself6 !oes not in any ay interfere
ith the true Self%
.
,n the spring of 19.6 3rs% Besant acco(panie! 'rishna:i back to Anglan!%
/e as seriously conte(plating taking sannyasa6
1
an! spoke of it to so(e of his
frien!s%
4ater in July ' ent to -((en% Although Annie Besant as present6 it as
he ho ga8e the firesi!e talks at the -((en ca(p% 'rishna(urti as eBpressing
an o8erfloing :oy an! a feeling of oneness ith the uni8erse% /is or!s !i! not
confor( to the ortho!oB #heosophical teaching an! =e!goo!6 ho as
present6 as greatly perturbe!% /e hispere! to 3rs% Besant that it as not the
4or! 3aitreya ho as speaking through 'rishna(urti6 but a poerful black
(agician% 4ater Annie Besant herself spoke of this to the young #eacher%
Shocke! by her state(ent6 he sai! that if she belie8e! this story6 he oul! ne8er
speak again% She ith!re her re(arks an! the neBt night 'rishna(urti tol! the
ca(pers6 =alking o8er the hills of ,n!ia last inter6 there appeare! before (e
(y ,!eal6 (y Belo8e!6 (y ;uru6 (y ;reat #eacher an! e8er since that 8ision ,
see( to see all the trees through hi(6 all the (ountains6 all the little pools6 all the
little insects an! e8er since that 8ision6 that un!erstan!ing of things has
re(aine!%$
0
#his oneness ith the guru an! the (ystery of life continue! to be
the the(e of his talks%
At the last talk 'rishna(urti sai!6 , ha8e altere! so (uch !uring the last
fortnightHboth insi!e an! outsi!e (y bo!y6 (y face6 (y han!s6 (y entire being
has change!% #he only ay to breathe fresh air of life is by this constant change6
constant tur(oil6 constant unrest%$
+
=riting of the 19.6 -((en ca(p6 Asther Bright sai!2
So A% B% sat by hi( at the Ca(p 7ires6 ith a ar( affection in her heart6 on!ering6 lo8ing6
a!(iring6 not alays un!erstan!ing6 but ith the (ost on!erful faith that he as the /eral! of
the @e Age6 an! that in ti(e all oul! be (a!e clear% An! together they alke! through that
great throng of (en an! o(en6 !on the path hich le! to the centre6 here the fire ha! been
lai!Hgreat (asses of branches6 heape!*up logs an! tigs6 an! together they set it alightHthe
gran! ol! hite hea!6 an! the black hea! an! fine6 thoughtful features of 'rishna:i6 ben!ing
!on together% #he fla(es leapt up6 an! all sat for a hile in silence%%%
But you ar" a t"a&h"r$ sai! his faithful frien!6 ?a:agopal6 to hi( one !ay at -((en6 hen a
group of us ere gathere! together6 !iscussing !ifficult proble(s% 'rishna:i as silent for a
hile6 an! then sai! si(ply6 , hol! out a light to you%$
)
7ro( August 19.6 to April 19.9 Annie Besant an! 'rishna(urti ere
together in -:ai% ,t as probably the longest ti(e they ha! spent together since
his youth% Sensing a certain nee! for her presence6 Annie Besant cancele! her
return to ,n!ia an! the (any engage(ents that aaite! her there% =hile in -:ai
she an! 'rishna(urti plante! trees6 an! she busie! herself ith acCuiring lan!s
in the -:ai Falley for hat as later to be the /appy Falley 7oun!ation% 4i8ing
in close proBi(ity ith hi( she gre aare of ho far he ha! tra8ele! fro( the
ortho!oB #heosophical teaching%
1
$annyasa is a state of being6 a state of !ying to the orl! an! society% #he sannyasin takes the 8os of
sannyas% ,nitiate! by a guru6 he is gi8en the saffron robe6 ceases to be a (e(ber of society6 an! is outsi!e
its fra(e6 ha8ing har!ly any concern ith social las6 rites6 rituals6 sacra(ents6 an! so on% #he sannyasin
renounces caste6 fa(ily6 an! a!opts a ne na(e signifying rebirth%
3rs% Besant as seeing a ne 'rishna(urti% She ha! a groing aareness
that the earlier prophecy that 'rishna(urti>s bo!y as to be the 8ehicle through
hich a frag(ent of the 3aitreya consciousness oul! (anifest as incorrect6
an! that the consciousness of 'rishna(urti an! the 4or! 3aitreya ere likely to
(erge% She as to en!orse this in a letter of -ctober 1. to Arun!ale2 J% '% is
changing all the ti(e6 but it !oes not see( as though he steppe! out an! the 4or!
steppe! in6 (ore like the blen!ing of consciousness%$
6
,t as groing clear that neither the for(ati8e years in the #heosophical
Society un!er the gui!ance of 4ea!beater6 nor the rigors of his life !uring the ar
years in Anglan!6 nor the ti(e spent by 'rishna(urti in the heart of British
aristocracy ha! (ol!e! the brain of 'rishna(urti% ,t coul! not be progra((e!6
but reste!Hatching6 listening6 unoccupie!%
After a long gestation6 'rishna(urti>s (in! she! the superficial layers that
ha! 8aguely accepte! an! respon!e! to #heosophical ritual an! hierarchy an!
e(erge! pristine6 ithout a scar% A 8olcanic energy as nee!e! to plough the
root of the hu(an (in!Hto Cuestion6 to percei8e6 to negate the structure of
hu(an consciousness6 to enter the heart of the ithin of thought an! feeling as
they operate!6 to break aay fro( all knole!ge an! to percei8e ane% Austerity
an! a life of asceticis( ere not only integral to his person but6 as he as to say6
a necessity to conser8e energy%$
9
/is aakening as lu(inous% /is or!s ha! a startling si(plicity% By
7ebruary 9 'rishna(urti rote to 4ea!beater2
, kno (y !estiny an! (y ork% , kno ith certainty that , a( blen!ing into the
consciousness of the one #eacher an! that he ill co(pletely fill (e% , feel an! , kno also that
(y cup is nearly full to the bri( an! that it ill o8erflo soon% #ill then , (ust abi!e Cuietly
an! ith eager patience% , long to (ake an! ill (ake e8erybo!y happy%
8
Before 3rs% Besant left the "nite! States6 she (a!e a state(ent to the "nite!
Press2 #he 1i8ine spirit has !escen!e! once (ore on a (an 'rishna(urti6 ho
in his lifeti(e is literally perfect as those ho kno hi( can testify% #he =orl!
#eacher is here%$
9
At the opening of the Star ca(p at -((en in 19.9 'rishna(urti spoke a
language !ia(etrically oppose! to #heosophical teaching% -n June 0< he sai!6
7or (any li8es an! for all this life6 an! especially the last fe (onths6 , ha8e
struggle! to be freeHfree of (y frien!s6 (y books6 (y associations% &ou (ust
struggle for the sa(e free!o(% #here (ust be constant tur(oil ithin you%$
1<
'rishna(urti as in re8olt% @o teacher or authority satisfie! hi(% =ho brings
the truth5$ he as to Cuery%
/e as Cuestioning hi(self to fin! out the truth behin! the for( of the =orl!
#eacher% As a boy he tol! his listeners that he ha! seen 4or! 'rishna ith a fluteG
in the #heosophical Society ith 4ea!beater he sa 3aster '% /% an! then the
4or! 3aitreya6 in the for( in hich his associates belie8e!% ,n the last years6 in
the intensity of his suffering6 he ha! seen Bu!!ha6 to his !elight an! glory%
#he Belo8e! of ho( he spoke ere 'rishna6 the 3asters6 the Bu!!haHan!
far beyon! all these% #he Belo8e! is the open sky6 the floer6 e8ery hu(an
being% 'rishna(urti is not outsi!e but ithin the(% /e because of his sorro has
beco(e one ith the picture%$
11
Jinara:a!asa as soon to arri8e at the ca(p6 an! he as Cuick to Cuestion
'rishna(urti>s state(ents% 7or it as clear that 'rishna(urti as re:ecting all
authority6 e8en the (ost fun!a(ental6 such as belief in the 3asters an! the
esoteric path% -n July 11 in his firesi!e talk he ga8e a reply to Jinara:a!asa2 ,
an! (y Belo8e! are one% #he 8ision is total% #o (e that is liberation%$ An! then2
#he personality of J% 'rishna(urti has been salloe! up in the fla(eHhat
happens after that !oes not (atterHhether the spark re(ains ithin the fla(e
or issues forth%$
1.
#he folloing year6 in the su((er of 19.86 'rishna(urti as at Aer!e in
/ollan!% /e ha! starte! speaking to his frien!s of the possibility of !issol8ing the
-r!er of the Star%
A huge gathering of o8er three thousan! people aaite! 'rishna(urti at the
-((en ca(p6 hich laste! fro( August . through 1.% /e spoke ith great
clarity on the nee! for the listener to aban!on all groun!s of authority6 especially
that of the =orl! #eacher% Aach one shoul! li8e only by the light ithin% 4ater6
speaking to a ?euter>s representati8e ho as present6 he sai!6 #he Bu!!ha6 the
Christ ha! ne8er clai(e! !i8inity6 it as the !isciple ho6 by his orship6 ga8e
!i8inity to the teacher%$
10
#o the astonish(ent of the correspon!ent6 the =orl!
#eacher then ent on to speak of golf an! of his han!icap6 hich as plus .%
'rishna(urti ha! playe! golf on so(e of the (ost fa(ous golf courses in the
orl!%
#he nes of the rift beteen 'rishna(urti an! the #heosophical Society
sprea! rapi!ly% Annie Besant !i! not atten! the -((en ca(p6 an! on hearing
hat 'rishna(urti ha! sai! she fell seriously ill% Accor!ing to one 8ersion she
ha! a ner8ous break!on6 fainte!6 an! fell unconscious% She as ill for a long
ti(e% /er (ental faculties sloly fa!e!G she lost her (e(ory an! as ne8er to
reco8er co(pletely% She ha! been tol! that 'rishna(urti ha! refuse! to accept
the role of the 3essiah on the ter(s lai! !on by the #heosophical Society%
-n her return to ,n!ia she ha! reco8ere! sufficiently to close !on the
Asoteric Section6 the heart of the occult teaching ithin the Society6 !eclaring
that the =orl! #eacher as here6 an! no one else ha! the right to teach% -n
@o8e(ber 0<6 19.86 she rote to 'rishna(urti6 ho as on his ay to A!yar2
Belo8e!6
, a( sen!ing by 3r% Far(a a paper sent to all A% S% correspon!ing Secretaries6 as , a( sure
that it is better that all our stu!ents shoul! !e8ote the(sel8es to the stu!y of your ishes an!
i!eals6 an! lea8e all the ol!er teachings asi!e for the present% So6 , a( suspen!ing the A% S%
altogether in!efinitely6 lea8ing all teaching to you% , a( sorry to be aay hen you arri8e6 but it
cannot be helpe!%
All (y lo8e goes to you Belo8e!%
3other%
A fe (onths later6 hoe8er6 3rs% Besant succu(be! to pressures fro( other
(e(bers an! reopene! the Asoteric Section% She also tol! 'rishna(urti that she
ante! to resign as presi!ent of the #heosophical Society an! !esire! only to sit
at his feet an! listen to the teachingG but he refuse! to let her !o so%
-n August 06 19.96 in the presence of 3rs% Besant an! three thousan!
(e(bers of the -r!er of the Star present at the -((en ca(p6 'rishna(urti
announce! his !eter(ination to !issol8e the -r!er of the Star6 of hich he as
the presi!ent% /is talk to the (e(bers as a su((ation of the insights that ha!
arisen ithin hi( !uring the years since his brother>s !eath% #he talk as
possibly a se(inal state(ent of his position6 one that re(aine! unchange!
throughout his life2 , (aintain that #ruth is a pathless lan!6 an! you cannot
approach it by any path hatsoe8er6 by any religion6 by any sect% #hat is (y
point of 8ie6 an! , a!here to that absolutely an! uncon!itionally% #ruth6 being
li(itless6 uncon!itione!6 unapproachable by any path hatsoe8er6 cannot be
organiDe!G nor shoul! any organiDation be for(e! to lea! or to coerce people
along any particular path% ,f you first un!erstan! that6 then you ill see ho
i(possible it is to organiDe a belief% A belief is purely an in!i8i!ual (atter6 an!
you cannot an! (ust not organiDe it% ,f you !o6 it beco(es !ea!6 crystaliDe!G it
beco(es a cree!6 a sect6 a religion6 to be i(pose! on others% #ruth is narroe!
!on an! (a!e a plaything for those ho are eak6 for those ho are only
(o(entarily !iscontente!% #ruth cannot be brought !on6 rather the in!i8i!ual
(ust (ake the effort to ascen! to it% &ou cannot bring the (ountain*top to the
8alley% ,f you oul! attain to the (ountain*top you (ust pass through the 8alley6
cli(b the steeps6 unafrai! of the !angerous precipices% &ou (ust cli(b toar!s
the #ruth6 it cannot be steppe! !on or organiDe! for you% , !o not ant to
belong to any organiDation of a spiritual kin!6 please un!erstan! this% Again6 ,
(aintain that no organiDation can lea! (an to spirituality% ,f an organiDation be
create! for this purpose6 it beco(es a crutch6 a eakness6 a bon!age6 an! (ust
cripple the in!i8i!ual6 an! pre8ent hi( fro( groing6 fro( establishing his
uniCueness6 hich lies in the !isco8ery for hi(self of that absolute6
uncon!itione! #ruth% So that is another reason hy , ha8e !eci!e!6 as , happen to
be the /ea! of the -r!er6 to !issol8e it% @o one has persua!e! (e to this
!ecision%
#his is no (agnificent !ee!6 because , !o not ant folloers6 an! , (ean
this% #he (o(ent you follo so(eone you cease to follo #ruth% , a( not
concerne! hether you pay attention to hat , say or not% , ant to !o a certain
thing in the orl! an! , a( going to !o it ith una8ering concentration% , a(
concerning (yself ith only one essential thing2 to set (an free% , !esire to free
hi( fro( all cages6 fro( all fears6 an! not to foun! religions6 ne sects6 nor to
establish ne theories an! ne philosophies% #hen you ill naturally ask (e hy
, go the orl! o8er6 continually speaking% , ill tell you for hat reason , !o this2
not because , !esire a folloing6 not because , !esire a special group of special
!isciples% M/o (en lo8e to be !ifferent fro( their fello*(en6 hoe8er
ri!iculous6 absur! an! tri8ial their !istinctions (ay be2 , !o not ant to
encourage that absur!ity%N , ha8e no !isciples6 no apostles6 either on earth or in
the real( of spirituality%
-ne nespaper reporter6 ho inter8iee! (e6 consi!ere! it a (agnificent
act to !issol8e an organiDation in hich there ere thousan!s of (e(bers% #o
hi( it as a great act because6 he sai!6 O=hat ill you !o afterar!s6 ho ill
you li8e5 &ou ill ha8e no folloing6 people ill no longer listen to you%> ,f
there are only fi8e people ho ill listen6 ho ill li8e6 ho ha8e their faces
turne! toar!s eternity6 it ill be sufficient%
As , ha8e sai!6 , ha8e only one purpose2 to (ake (an free6 to urge hi(
toar!s free!o(G to help hi( to break aay fro( all li(itations6 for that alone
ill gi8e hi( eternal happiness6 ill gi8e hi( the uncon!itione! realiDation of
the self%
Because , a( free6 uncon!itione!6 holeHnot the part6 not the relati8e6 but
the hole #ruth that is eternalH, !esire those6 ho seek to un!erstan! (e6 to be
free6 not to follo (e6 not to (ake out of (e a cage hich ill beco(e a
religion6 a sect% ?ather shoul! they be free fro( all fearsHfro( the fear of
religion6 fro( the fear of sal8ation6 fro( the fear of spirituality6 fro( the fear of
lo8e6 fro( the fear of !eath6 fro( the fear of life itself% As an artist paints a
picture because he takes !elight in that painting6 because it is his self*eBpression6
his glory6 his ell*being6 so , !o this an! not because , ant anything fro(
anyone%
&ou are accusto(e! to authority6 or to the at(osphere of authority hich
you think ill lea! you to spirituality% &ou think an! hope that another can6 by
the eBtraor!inary poersHa (iracleHtransport you to this real( of eternal
free!o( hich is /appiness% &our hole outlook on life KisL base! on that
authority%
&ou ha8e listene! to (e for three years no6 ithout any change taking
place eBcept in the fe% @o analyDe hat , a( saying6 be critical6 so that you
(ay un!erstan! thoroughly6 fun!a(entally% =hen you look for an authority to
lea! you to spirituality6 you are boun! auto(atically to buil! an organiDation
aroun! that authority% By the 8ery creation of that organiDation6 hich6 you think6
ill help this authority to lea! you to spirituality6 you are hel! in a cage%
,nstea! of ol! spiritual !istinctions6 instea! of ol! orships you ha8e ne
orships% &ou are all !epen!ing for your spirituality on so(eone else6 for your
happiness on so(eone else6 for your enlighten(ent on so(eone elseG an!
although you ha8e been preparing for (e for eighteen years6 hen , say all these
things are unnecessary6 hen , say that you (ust put the( all aay an! look
ithin yoursel8es for the enlighten(ent6 for the glory6 for the purification6 an!
for the incorruptibility of the self6 not one of you is illing to !o it% #here (ay be
a fe6 but 8ery6 8ery fe%
So hy ha8e an organiDation5
=hy ha8e false6 hypocritical people folloing (e6 the e(bo!i(ent of
#ruth5 Please re(e(ber that , a( not saying so(ething harsh or unkin!6 but e
ha8e reache! a situation hen you (ust face things as they are% , sai! last year
that , oul! not co(pro(ise% Fery fe listene! to (e then% #his year , ha8e
(a!e it absolutely clear% , !o not kno ho (any thousan!s throughout the
orl!H(e(bers of the -r!erHha8e been preparing for (e for eighteen years6
an! yet no they are not illing to listen uncon!itionally6 holly6 to hat , say%
So hy ha8e an organiDation5
As , sai! before6 (y purpose is to (ake (en uncon!itionally free6 for ,
(aintain that the only spirituality is the incorruptibility of the self hich is
eternal6 is the har(ony beteen reason an! lo8e% #his is the absolute6
uncon!itione! #ruth hich is 4ife itself% , ant therefore to set (an free6
re:oicing as the bir! in the clear sky6 unbur!ene!6 in!epen!ent6 ecstatic in that
free!o(% An! ,6 for ho( you ha8e been preparing for eighteen years6 no say
that you (ust be free of all these things6 free fro( your co(plications6 your
entangle(ents% 7or this you nee! not ha8e an organiDation base! on spiritual
belief% =hy ha8e an organiDation for fi8e or ten people in the orl! ho
un!erstan!6 ho are struggling6 ho ha8e put asi!e all tri8ial things5 An! for the
eak people6 there can be no organiDation to help the( to fin! the #ruth6 because
#ruth is in e8eryoneG it is not far6 it is not nearG it is eternally there%
-rganiDations cannot (ake you free% @o (an fro( outsi!e can (ake you
free2 nor organiDe! orship6 nor the i((olation of yoursel8es for a cause6 (ake
you freeG nor can for(ing yoursel8es into an organiDation6 nor throing
yoursel8es into orks6 (ake you free% &ou use KaL typeriter to rite letters6 but
you !o not put it on an altar an! orship it% But that is hat you are !oing hen
organiDations beco(e your chief concern% O/o (any (e(bers are there in it5>
#hat is the first Cuestion , a( aske! by all nespaper reporters% O/o (any
folloers ha8e you5 By their nu(ber e shall :u!ge hether hat you say is true
or false%> , !o not kno ho (any there are% , a( not concerne! ith that% ,f
there ere e8en one (an ho ha! been set free6 that ere enough%
Again6 you ha8e the i!ea that only certain people hol! the key to the
'ing!o( of /appiness% @o one hol!s it% @o one has the authority to hol! that
key% #hat key is your on self6 an! in the !e8elop(ent an! the purification an!
in the incorruptibility of that self alone is the 'ing!o( of Aternity%
So you ill see ho absur! is the hole structure that you ha8e built6
looking for eBternal help6 !epen!ing on others for your co(fort6 for your
happiness6 for your strength% #hese can only be foun! ithin yoursel8es%
So hy ha8e an organiDation5
&ou are accusto(e! to being tol! ho far you ha8e a!8ance!6 hat is your
spiritual status% /o chil!ishQ =ho but yourself can tell you if you are beautiful
or ugly ithin5 =ho but yourself can tell you if you are incorruptible5 &ou are
not serious in these things%
So hy ha8e an organiDation5
But those ho really !esire to un!erstan!6 ho are looking to fin! that
hich is eternal6 ithout beginning an! ithout an en!6 ill alk together ith a
greater intensity6 ill be a !anger to e8erything that is unessential6 to unrealities6
to sha!os% An! they ill concentrate6 they ill beco(e the fla(e6 because they
un!erstan!% Such a bo!y e (ust create6 an! that is (y purpose% Because of that
true frien!shipHhich you !o not see( to knoHthere ill be real cooperation
on the part of each one% An! this not because of authority6 not because of
sal8ation6 not because of i((olation for a cause6 but because you really
un!erstan!6 an! hence are capable of li8ing in the eternal% #his is a greater thing
than all pleasure6 than all sacrifice%
So these are so(e of the reasons hy6 after careful consi!eration for to
years6 , ha8e (a!e this !ecision% ,t is not fro( a (o(entary i(pulse% , ha8e not
been persua!e! to it by anyoneH, a( not persua!e! in such things% 7or to
years6 , ha8e been thinking about this6 sloly6 carefully6 patiently6 an! , ha8e
no !eci!e! to !isban! the -r!er6 as , happen to be its hea!% &ou can for( other
organiDations an! eBpect so(eone else% =ith that , a( not concerne!6 nor ith
creating ne cages6 ne !ecorations for those cages% 3y only concern is to set
(an absolutely6 uncon!itionally free%$
1+
4ater6 the 8arious trusts an! fun!s ere liCui!ate!6 the 8ast estates an! lan!s
returne! to the original !onors% A s(all office as establishe! ith ?a:agopal as
the (ain organiDer6 to un!ertake publications of 'rishna(urti>s talks% By no
'rishna(urti as co(ing to be regar!e! as a secular philosopher6 totally hostile
to all religious beliefs6 an! (any stalarts of the #heosophical Society
(aintaine! that the co(ing of the =orl! #eacher ha! been 8itiate!%
CHAPTER 8
'rishna(urti in -:ai2 #he
7orgotten &ears6 1908*19+9
'rishna(urti resigne! fro( the #heosophical Society in 190<% =riting in the
,nt"rnationa $tar Bu"tin in that year he ha! sai!6 3y teaching is neither occult
nor (ystic for , hol! both as li(itations place! on (an in his search for #ruth%$
3rs% Besant>s one concern on hearing the nes of his resignation as anBiety
about 'rishna(urti>s future% She as aare of his total lack of orl!ly 8alues
an! on!ere! ho he oul! sur8i8e the cruel orl! ithout the protection of the
Society% , a( tol! that she pre8aile! on B% San:ee8a ?ao an! his ife6 Pa!(abai6
e(inent e!ucators an! her close associates6 to resign fro( the #heosophical
Society so that they coul! :oin 'rishna>s ork6 to be ith hi( an! protect hi(%
/e !i! not return to ,n!ia until @o8e(ber 190.% 7ro( Bo(bay he ent
!irectly to A!yar to see 3rs% Besant% She ha! beco(e 8ery fragile6 ha! lost her
(e(ory6 an! as li8ing in the past% But she recogniDe! her !early belo8e! son% ,t
as tragic to see her6 an! 'rishna(urti as !eeply sa!!ene!% -n his return fro(
Faranasi he as to see her again% /e ha! gron a bear! an! she co((ente! on
his beautiful face an! sai! that he as frail an! shoul! look after hi(self% #his
as their final (eeting%
/is speech at the #heosophical con8ention hel! at A!yar in 190. as (et by
critical co((ents fro( the el!ers of the Society% /e tol! (e (any years later
that they ha! cornere! hi( an! Cuestione! hi( relentlessly6 asking hi( to affir(
or !eny the eBistence of the 3asters% /e ha! refuse! to reply%
-n his ay back to Aurope he (et ;eorge Bernar! Sha at the ho(e of Sir
Chunilal 3ehta% #hey spoke of 3rs% Besant% Sha enCuire! ho she as% Fery
ell6$ sai! 'rishna(urti6 but at her great age6 she cannot think consecuti8ely%$
She ne8er coul!6$ hispere! Sha% 'rishna(urti (erely s(ile!%
4ater Sha as to !escribe 'rishna(urti to /eskith Pearson as the (ost
beautiful hu(an being he ha! e8er seen%
1
Annie Besant !ie! at A!yar on Septe(ber .<6 1900% /alf a century later ,
aske! 'rishna:i about the i(pact 3rs% Besant>s !eath ha! on hi(% A look of
intense gra8ity touche! his eyes as he respon!e!% , rea! the notice of her !eath
in Th" 3"w 4ork Tim"sHthey ne8er infor(e! (e%$
#hroughout their to li8es6 so closely intertine!6 3rs% Besant an! her
a!opte! son 'rishna ere to spen! little ti(e together% But fro( 3rs% Besant>s
earliest letters to 'rishna an intensity of lo8e6 a a8e6 flos fro( her to reach out
an! en8elop the chil!6 hol!ing an! protecting hi(%
#he bon!s fuse! beteen her an! 'rishna6 transcen!ing ti(e an! space% As a
boy he rote to her e8ery eek !escribing his !rea(s6 his stu!ies6 his !aily life6
an! his little proble(s% She as first a (other6 anBious that no har( shoul!
befall hi(G then the teacherG as the years passe! she so(eti(es took the role of
!isciple an! sat at his feet to listen to his or!s% As her intellect fa!e!6 her (ental
poers !i(inishe! an! her letters to 'rishna gre paleG his ere affectionate6 yet
for(al% But 'rishna>s !eep lo8e an! respect for her reste! un!i(inishe!
throughout his life%
She as an influence not in (ol!ing or gi8ing !irection to his (in! an!
teaching6 but in pro8i!ing the groun! of a total security of lo8e% /e ha! seen the
fire in her blaDe an! sink to e(bers6 but the ar(th an! unselfish lo8e of 3rs%
Besant as perhaps the one constant factor in his early life%
=ith the !issolution of the -r!er of the Star the group of young people ho
ere alays aroun! 'rishna !isperse!% #he organiDation of his tra8el plans an!
talks ere for a ti(e !i8i!e! beteen Ja!unan!an Prasa!6 a young an! (uch*
lo8e! associate6 an! ?a:agopal% Ja!u>s su!!en !eath in 1901 at the age of thirty*
fi8e left 'rishna ith fe co(panions% 3any ho ha! left the #heosophical
Society ith hi( felt lost an! in !espairG the Society ha! pro8i!e! shelter6 solace6
an! a purpose in life% 3oney as scarce%
Ja!u ha! been a close frien!% 'rishna rote to Pa!(abai San:ee8a ?ao in
Faranasi6 sharing her grief% #hese letters re8eal 'rishna>s (in! in the !ays
folloing the se8ering of his (e(bership ith the #heosophical Society% -n
August 0<6 19016 he rote2
3y !earest Akka:i6
,sn>t it terrible that Ja!u has gone aay% ,t is really tragic an! !ear Pa!(abai6 , can i(agine
hat you (ust be feeling an! ho !epresse! you (ust be% , can har!ly belie8e such a thing is
possible% Ja!u as :ust getting into his stri!e an! you ha8e no i!ea ho (uch he as like! on
his tour an! hat a success he (a!e of it% , hear! !uring the ca(p that , ha! a cable fro( John
,ngle(anHJa!u ha! a heat stroke an! his bloo! pressure ..<G again a fe !ays later6 that he
as stea!ily i(pro8ing% =e ere naturally anBious about it but he !i!n>t think that anything
serious as afoot% =hen , ca(e here6 , ha! a cable of hich you kno% Akka:i6 you (ust ha8e
ha! a grie8ous shock an! , ish , ere ith you6 but%%%Q
,n your letterHthank you so (uch for itHyou ere prophetic as you sai! ho (any of us
ill be ali8e hen e all (eet againQ @itya has gone an! so has Ja!u% Ja!u as so cle8er6 like!
by e8erybo!y an! 8ery intelligently critical% =e shall (iss hi( an! (y !earest Pa!(abai6 all
(y lo8e is ith you%
&ou ere all !epresse! an! this ill be another !rea!ful blo% Akka6 there are so fe of us
that e (ust pull oursel8es together an! e ha8e got to change an! e ha8e to realise there is
so(ething infinitely greater than birth an! !eath% =e ha8e to realise it an! the effort is colossal%
, ish , ere ith you but there it is% 4ife is like that an! cruel if e are not (aster of it%
, ish6 , ere ith you !earest Akka%
.
Pa!(abai>s reply (ust ha8e eBpresse! her on profoun! anguish6 for in
another letter6 on Septe(ber .96 'rishna refers to his sorro at @itya>s !eath6 his
enCuiry into the cause of sorro6 an! a blaDing aakening%
3y !earest Pa!(abai6
#hank you 8ery (uch for your letter% , kno6 Pa!(abai the fight you (ust be putting up6
Akka:i6 because e ant the perfu(e of lo8e through one person only6 !eath K!arkensL our lo8e%
#here ill be alays !eath as long as our un!erstan!ing is li(ite! by personal6 egotistical
outlook% , tell you% Akka:i !ear6 as long as there is consciousness of oneself there is !eath6
loneliness an! sorro% , ent through this hen @itya !ie! an! , un!erstoo! hat lay behin!
sorro6 the cause of it% , ha8e cheate! !eath% So6 Akka:i6 this is the ti(e to un!erstan! in the
(i!st of this sorro an! loneliness% &ou (ust un!erstan!6 probe into the !eepest an! you ill
see6 Pa!(abai !ear6 that there is so(ething (ore per(anent6 eternal than all persons% =e all
(ust !ie an! hile you are in the (i!st of this sorro6 this is the ti(e to un!erstan!% 1on>t
postpone it6 Akka:i% ,n the gloo(6 you (ust seek the ay out an! not ait or let sorro eat your
heart an! loneliness !arken your s(ile% So Pa!(abai6 be eager to un!erstan!6 though it hurts%
1etach your (in! fro( loneliness6 sorro an! eBa(ine an! you ill see that by freeing your
on consciousness6 you go beyon! birth an! !eath% #ry it !ear Pa!(abai an! !on>t say these
are :ust or!s%
, ish , ere ith you6 perhaps , coul! be able to help you% -h6 Pa!(abai6 you ha8e no
i!ea the :oy of true i(personal lo8e%
&ou are in (y thoughts an! in (y heart%
All (y lo8e6 (y !earest Pa!(abai% 3y lo8e to e8eryone%
'rishna
/is letters eBpress a longing for ,n!iaG he as !rifting aay fro( (any of his
close frien!s in the =est ho( he ha! knon fro( his chil!hoo!% 7ro( -:ai he
rote of being alone6 resting an! going into samadhi%
3y !earest Pa!(abai6
#hank you 8ery (uch for your letter of -ctober .9th% , a( so 8ery sorry that you are ha8ing
a har! ti(e an! , ish , ere there to help you along% ,t oul! be goo! to talk things o8er an!
that has to ait till e (eet again6 hich ill not be till the en! of neBt year% , ha8e been by
(yself for the last fortnight an! , ha8e been o8er the thoughts of the past years% , ish6 , coul!
ha8e a goo! talk ith you hich is (uch better than riting%
#his place is lo8ely an! one !ay M5N you (ust co(e here% , a( taking a co(plete rest an!
going into samadhi%
1
, only see people on Sun!ays an! the rest of the !ays , a( gi8ing to
thought% ?a:agopal an! ?osalin! are in /ollyoo! as ?a:agopal has to see to his rheu(atis(
hich is pretty ba!%
, hear A((a is pretty ba! an! that she is not eBpecte! to li8e long% ?a(a ?ao rote to (e
that she is stone !eaf an! can har!ly recognise% ,t is tragic an! , on!er hat is going to happen
to the #heosophical Society%%%
=ith all (y lo8e6
'rishna
'rishna>s frien! ?a(a ?ao ent blin! an! as seriously ill% =ith the !eath
of Ja!u6 'rishna turne! to ?a:agopal an! his ife ?osalin! Mthey ha! (arrie! in
19.9N6 ho re(aine! ith hi( an! ere free to :ourney ith hi( across
continents%
=hile @itya as ali8e ?a:agopal>s role in the young seer>s life as peripheral
H@itya ha! taken o8er all organiDational (atters connecte! ith 'rishna(urti>s
ork% @itya>s !eath create! a functional 8acuu( that ha! to be fille!% ,ne8itably6
1
$amadhi2 A state of final liberation% A state here the ego entity has cease! to eBist an! the seeker has
!isappeare!% A state of union ith the cos(os%
at first Ja!u an! then ?a:agopal took charge6 planning lectures an! tours an!
setting up the infrastructure to support his future ork% ?a:agopal>s (arriage to
?osalin!6 a 8ery close frien! of @itya>s6 brought ?a:agopal closer to
'rishna(urti% Soon Arya Fihar in -:ai beca(e their per(anent ho(e%
A relationship born of an act of frien!ship to protect the young6 8ulnerable
'rishna(urtiHhose utter lack of orl!liness (a!e protection necessaryH
sloly un!erent a sea change% ,n the earlier perio! of his life6 protecte! by 3rs%
Besant6 he as the =orl!*#eacher*to*beHan! the attitu!es of 'rishna:i>s
co(ra!es reflecte! this aareness an! a re8erence% #here as alays a !istance
beteen the =orl! #eacher an! his !isciples%
/oe8er6 ith the !issolution of organiDations an! the negation of all
spiritual hierarchy by 'rishna(urti6 ne attitu!es ere ine8itable% Sloly6 the
!istance beteen the teacher an! his associates lessene!% Soon ?a:agopal an!
?osalin! assu(e! the role of guar!ians6 sarvadhikaris6 hol!ers of authority
aroun! the young seer6 taking o8er all !ecision*(aking in 'rishna(urti>s
personal life an! the ork connecte! ith his teaching% #he shy6 hesitant young
(an ho as feeling his ay in the iri!escent ocean of energy being release!
ithin hi(6 groping for or!s that coul! contain his obser8ations an! insights6
as totally unconcerne! ith orl!ly affairs% /e as happy to lea8e e8erything
in the co(petent han!s of ?a:agopal% ' see(e! 8ague6 passi8e6 nai8e6 an! e8en
:u8enile% /is for(er !isciples6 li8ing in close proBi(ity to 'rishna(urti6 foun!
hi( eager to perfor( the (ost (enial choresG an! this blurre! their 8ision% #hey
lost contact ith the i((ensity in their (i!st an! in ti(e starte! to treat hi( as a
chil!6 ho coul! be scol!e!6 ignore!6 bullie!6 tol! hat to !o an! ho( to (eet%
,t is part of 'rishna(urti>s (ystiCue that6 ti(e an! again6 he per(itte! this%
/is 8ery nature (a!e any asserti8e or aggressi8e response or action i(possible%
/e ne8er lost his te(per% /is pliant (in!6 lack of the ego6 an! total trust in those
aroun! hi( (a!e it possible for others to take hi( for grante!% /e oul! sign
any paper place! before hi( by his close frien!s6 an! at ti(es e8en echoe! their
irrationalities% #his le! to see(ingly contra!ictory state(ents an! actions6 hich
confuse! his frien!s% &et6 hen he appeare! to be totally he((e! in an!
!o(inate!6 the situation oul! eBplo!e out of its co(pleBities6 lea8ing
'rishna(urti untouche!6 free to (o8e onG hile those ho !o(inate! hi( oul!
be left angry6 beil!ere!6 often broken%
Beteen 1900 an! 1909 'rishna(urti tra8ele! se8eral ti(es to ,n!ia6 gi8ing
talks to fairly large au!iences% =ith the !eath of 3rs% Besant in 1900 an! the
election of ;eorge Arun!ale as presi!ent of the #heosophical Society in 190+6 all
contact beteen 'rishna(urti an! the Society ha! been se8ere!% 'rishna(urti
ha! spoken of the #heosophical Society as an organiDe! belief6 an! the i!ea of a
3aster lea!ing (an to truth !oes not enter (y belief%$
0
#he orl! an! the (e!ia ha! lost interest in the =orl! #eacher$ after his
re:ection of the role the #heosophical Society ha! concei8e! for hi(% 7or a long
ti(e his na(e !isappeare! fro( the nespapers an! he le! a life of anony(ity%
#oar! the en! of those years6 a ne foun!ation6 'rishna(urti =ritings ,nc%
M'% =% ,%N6 as establishe! ith hea!Cuarters at -:ai% 'rishna(urti as no(inal
hea!6 but ?a:agopal playe! the pi8otal role in !eter(ining the (e(bership of the
ne bo!y an! its areas of operation% /oe8er6 there as one area here the
young seer6 hoe8er hesitant6 refuse! to per(it any intrusion2 #hat as in the
unfol!(ent6 the floering of the ne (in! an! the silent groun! of perception
that as co(ing into being%
'rishna(urti as in -:ai in 1909 hen =orl! =ar ,, broke out in Aurope%
7or nearly eight years he li8e! in -:ai in co(parati8e isolation% #he ar
restricte! his (o8e(ents6 an! it as no longer possible for hi( to tra8el% /e ha!
been sent for by the "% S% !raft boar!6 an! ha! to gi8e !etaile! eBplanations as to
hy he coul! not fight an! :oin the ar(y% #he boar! suggeste! that he return to
,n!ia% /e agree! an! aske! the( to sen! hi( back6 but there as no
transportation% So they let hi( stay6 but he as forbi!!en to gi8e talks an! ha! to
report to the police regularly%
,n later years 'rishna(urti as to speak of those forgotten years in -:ai% /e
cherishe! his alks in the silences of the (ountains surroun!ing the -:ai Falley%
/e alke! enor(ously6$ for en!less (iles6 spen!ing hole !ays in the
il!erness6 alone6 forgetful of foo!6 listening an! obser8ing6 probing the orl!
ithin hi( an! aroun! hi(% /e recounte! episo!es of (eeting il! bears an!
rattlesnakes6 facing the( ithout (o8e(ent of bo!y an! (in!% #he il! beast
oul! pause6 its cautious6 atchful eyes (eeting '>s silent eyes for se8eral
(inutesG the ani(al6 sensing a total absence of fear6 oul! turn an! (o8e aay%
#he obser8ing (in! of 'rishna(urti6 free of any inner !irection or pressure6
blosso(e!G an! ith it an ele(ental perception6 a (in!*bo!y aareness through
hich earth6 rocks6 trees6 bu!!ing lea8es6 insects6 reptiles6 bir!s6 ani(als
co((unicate! the story of earth>s history an! the (ystery of a botto(less pit of
ti(e% /e sai!6 =hen , alk6 , !on>t think6 there is no thought% , :ust look%%% ,
think (y solitary alks (ust ha8e !one so(ething%$
'rishna(urti recalle! gar!ening at Arya Fihar6 groing roses an! 8egetables6
(ilking cos6 ashing !ishes% /is intense interest in (echanical things6 hich
he ha! culti8ate! fro( chil!hoo!6 as to continueG he still en:oye! taking apart
atches an! auto(obile engines to un!erstan! ho they orke!6 an! then
putting the( together again% /e ha! been gi8en a gift of a car by so(e of his
frien!s% ;as as scarce but6 hene8er possible6 'rishna(urti en:oye! !ri8ing at
a tre(en!ous spee! along the cur8ing roa!s of the 8alley%
?eports of the ar an! the ato( bo(b>s !e8astation of /iroshi(a an!
@agasaki fille! hi( ith ineBpressible horror6 but aakene! insights into the
nature of 8iolence an! e8il% #his as (a!e especially 8i8i! to hi( one !ay hen
he ent to nearby Santa Barbara% A o(an approache! hi(6 offering Japanese
sou8enirs% 'rishna(urti !ecline!6 but she insiste! on shoing hi( hat she ha!
in her boB% She opene! it to re8eal a shri8ele! hu(an ear an! nose%
3iss 3uriel Payne6 ho clai(e! to ha8e nurse! 'rishna(urti in -:ai hen
he as 8ery ill6 tol! (e that his response to the !e8astation an! cruelty of ar
ha! been trau(atic% /e aske! repeate!ly6 =hat is the use of (y talking5$ /e
sought refuge alone in the (ountains6 ith trees an! il! ani(als% /e spent
se8eral eeks in solitu!e in a hut in =rightoo!6 in the San ;abriel (ountains
near 4os Angeles6 an! in SeCuoia6 further @orth% /e ha! gron a bear!%
'rishna:i recalle! the routine of his life in the sparsely furnishe! log cabin in
the il!s% /e oul! aake early in the (orning6 go for a long alk6 cook
breakfast6 clean the !ishes an! the house an! for an hour e8ery !ay play
Beetho8en>s @inth Sy(phony Mthe only recor! a8ailableN6 listening6 (e!itating%
#here ere no books% ,n the e8enings he oul! chant Sanskrit hy(ns
re(e(bere! fro( his early chil!hoo!% /is fa8orite as one to 1aksina(urtiH
Shi8a as the supre(e guru% #he soun! of Sanskrit rose fro( the !epths of his
bellyHit fille! forests6 8irgin soun!s hear! by pine an! ancient re!oo! trees6 by
skunk6 bear6 an! rattlesnake% A spi!er share! the hut ith hi(% A8ery (orning
'rishna(urti sept aay the spi!er>s eb6 in hich ere trappe! flies an!
insectsG carefully picking up the spi!er6 he oul! place it outsi!e the hut6 but
e8ery (orning6 the spi!er as back6 spinning its eb%
+
A 8erse fro( the
5panishads6 learne! in his chil!hoo!6 (ay ha8e co(e to his (in!% As a spi!er
e(erges Kfro( itselfL by KspinningL threa!s Kout of its on bo!yL6 so too fro( this
self6 all life breaths6 all the orl!s6 all the go!s6 an! all contingent beings rise
upon all !irections%$
)
7or !ays the ritual beteen the spi!er an! 'rishna(urti continue!6 a or!less
co((unicationG then one !ay 'rishna(urti sai! to the spi!erG PaB6 let us share
the hut%$
'rishna(urti ha! occasional 8isitors% Al!ous /uBley6 ho ha! settle! in
California an! ho as losing his eyesight6 alke! ith 'rishna(urti for long
hours% At ti(es they spoke of the senses an! blin!ness% 'rishna(urti helpe!
/uBleyG the poer to heal as ali8e% /e use! it sparingly an! in secret6 as
rather shy of it6 an! apologiDe! before he e8en spoke of it%
3any years later6 hen aske! hat he (eant hen he spoke of all the senses
operating si(ultaneously6 'rishna:i tol! of (eeting a blin! frien! hile he as
li8ing in the hills% #hey ha! !iscusse! the senses% 4ater6 alone in the hut6
'rishna(urti spent a eek ith his eyes ban!age!6 to see hat happene! hen a
sense on hich one !epen!e! as !enie!% /e spoke of e8ery pore of his bo!y6
being fully aake6 e8ery sense carefully operating6 co(pensating for the lost
senseG of e8erything ha8ing to be in the right place6 inar!ly an! outar!ly%
#here are also hints that he eBperi(ente! at this ti(e ith (any of the rigi!
austerities of yogaHfasting for long perio!sG obser8ing co(plete silence for
!aysG closing the sense organs ith to han!s to shut out sight6 soun!6 an!
breathG an! aakening to 8ast re8erberations of soun! ithin% But he !is(isse!
these yogic stances as play6 peripheral6 an! of no account%
#he lu(inous beauty an! the !ra(atic legen!ary early life of 'rishna(urti
ha! arouse! the curiosity an! interest of a nu(ber of riters6 actors6 an! seekers
ho ha! settle! in an! aroun! 4os Angeles6 besi!es /uBley% ;eral! /ear! as
one of the first of the =estern (ystics to settle in California an! !el8e into
,n!ian religious enCuiry% /e as a frien! of /uBley6 'rishna(urti6 Christopher
,sheroo!6 an! Prabha8anan!6 a (onk of the ?a( 'rishna 3ission% /uBley an!
/ear! ha! beco(e close frien!s of 'rishna(urti% ,t as a curious relationship%
'rishna(urti in the late 190<s an! early 19+<s as 8ery shy6 an! perhaps ha!
not alloe! the li(itless ithin hi( to re8eal itself% -therise6 it is i(possible to
un!erstan! 3aria /uBley>s co((ent on hi(% She sai! of hi( !uring the years
1908 to 19096 /e is char(ing an! a(using an! so si(ple% /o he (ust suffer
hen he is treate! as a prophet5$
6
Al!ous /uBley an! his first ife6 3aria6 lo8e! picnics6 as !i! 'rishna(urti%
Anita 4oos6 riting of 4os Angeles in the late 190<s6 recounts an inci!ent hich6
as she put it6 coul! ha8e taken place in Alice in =on!erlan!%$ At one such
picnic the guests inclu!e! the /uBleys an! 'rishna(urtiG ;reta ;arbo6 earing a
sloppy pair of (en>s trousers an! a battere! hatG Charlie Chaplin an! his
beautiful ife Paulette ;o!!ar!6 !resse! in a 3eBican peasant outfitG Bertran!
?ussell Mho is !escribe! by Anita 4oos as a PiBie on a spree$NG an! riter
Christopher ,sheroo!%
7ailing to fin! a suitable picnic spot6 they finally !escen!e! on the !usty be!
of the 4os Angeles ri8er% As they ere getting !on to prepare their special foo!
H;arbo carrying bunches of ra 8egetables6 ;o!!ar! ith her cha(pagne an!
ca8iar6 'rishna(urti ith his riceHa hefty police(an su!!enly appeare! an!
aske!6 =hat the hell>s going on here5$
#hey stoppe! all preparations6 stunne! into silence%$ A sheriff appeare!6
hol!ing a gun% 1on>t anybo!y in this gang kno ho to rea!5$ he aske! Al!ous
/uBley6 pointing to a sign that rea! @o trespassers%$ /uBley plea!e! ith the
sheriff6 pro(ising to clean up the place an! lea8e the ri8erbe! cleaner than they
ha! foun! it% #he sheriff as getting angry an! tol! /uBley to ;et goingHan!
that (eans no%$ /uBley6 thinking he (ight appease the sheriff by (entioning
so(e of the celebrities6 pointe! out Charlie Chaplin an! ;reta ;arbo%
1on>t gi8e (e that6$ snarle! the sheriff% , seen these stars in the (o8ies an!
none of the( belong in this outfit% ;et out of here6 you tra(ps6 or ,>ll arrest the
hole sle of you%$ An! so6 says Anita 4oos6 =e fol!e! our tents like the
Arabs an! Cuietly stole aay%%%$
9
By the (i!*19+<s 'rishna(urti an! /uBley ha! beco(e close frien!s% #hey
(et often an! ent for long alks% /uBley talke! an! 'rishna(urti listene!%
/uBley as perpleBe!G his for(i!able intellect foun! it !ifficult to co(prehen!
the pliant strength of a (in! born of perception untainte! by knole!ge% ,n turn6
/uBley listene! an! learne! to be silent hen 'rishna(urti spoke of perception6
of ti(e6 an! of aareness% #hat 'rishna(urti>s (in! intereste! /uBley is
e8i!ent% -n one of the alks6 he tol! 'rishna(urti that he oul! gi8e
e8erything for one !irect perception of the truth6 but his (in! as incapable of it%
,t as too fille! ith knole!ge%$ Christopher ,sheroo! recounts a
con8ersation he ha! ith /uBley% ,sheroo! ha! been telling /uBley of the
instructions for (e!itation gi8en to hi( by his guru6 Sa(i Prabha8anan!6
thus6 pro(pting Al!ous to tell (e that 'rishna(urti ne8er (e!itate! on
Oob:ects> such as lotuses6 lights6 go!s an! go!!esses an! e8en belie8e! that !oing
so6 (ight lea! to insanity%$
8
?ecalling his relationship ith /uBley an! ;eral! /ear!6 'rishna(urti says6
, as terribly shy% #hey ere all tre(en!ous intellectuals% , listene! to the(% ,
inter:ecte! one or to state(ents%$
9
3uch of the correspon!ence beteen
'rishna(urti an! /uBley6 an! the notes taken by /uBley of that perio! of his
life6 ere burne! in a fire that !estroye! his ho(e an! all his recor!s% 4ater6
/uBley as to rite the intro!uction to 'rishna(urti>s book Th" (irst and +ast
(r""dom% ,n 19616 :ust before his !eath6 /uBley hear! 'rishna(urti speak at
Saanen in SitDerlan!% =riting to a frien!6 he !escribes it as a(ongst the (ost
i(pressi8e things , ha8e listene! to%%% it as like listening to the !iscourse of the
Bu!!haHsuch poer6 such intrinsic authority6 such an unco(pro(ising refusal
to allo the homm" moy"n s"nsu" any escapes or surrogates6 any gurus6 sa8iors6
f6hr"rs6 churches% , sho you sorro an! the en!ing of sorro6 an! if you !on>t
fulfill the con!itions for en!ing sorro6 be prepare!6 hate8er gurus6 churches6
etc% you (ay belie8e in6 for the in!efinite continuance of sorro%$
1<
,n -:ai6 !uring the ar years6 'rishna(urti recalle! 8isiting ;eral! /ear! at
#rabuco6 a club for (ystics$ built a fe (iles fro( 4os Angeles by ;eral!
/ear! an! 7eliB ;reen6 a British sinologist ho as also intereste! in ,n!ian
religious enCuiry% ;eral! /ear!6 ho has been eloCuently !escribe! by
Christopher ,sheroo! as one of Kthe orl!>sL fe great (agic (yth (akers
an! re8ealers of life>s on!er$
11
ha! built a retreat ith a (e!itation hall
o8erlooking the Pacific -cean% 'rishna(urti 8isite! #rabuco for a eek at the
in8itation of ;eral! /ear!% 1escribing #rabuco to us6 'rishna(urti spoke of its
rese(blance to a #rappist (onasteryHeBcept that here people coul! co(e for
retreat an! ere not trappe! for the rest of their li8es% 3e!itation sessions took
place about siB ti(es a !ay% #he resi!ents ere per(itte! con8ersation in the
(ornings6 but after lunch strict silence as i(pose!% 'rishna:i :oine! in the
(e!itation sessionsG sitting cross*legge! on the floor for hours in the !arkene!
(e!itation hall6 he felt the seething thoughts in the (in!s of those (e!itating
aroun! hi(% #he intense !arkness as use! as an ai! to create the silent (in!%
#he eerie at(osphere an! the chaotic6 8iolent thoughts of the other guests greatly
!isturbe! 'rishna(urti6 an! he !i! not 8isit #rabuco again%
Perhaps the (ost insightful of the co((ents to co(e fro( outsi!ers$ li8ing
on the Pacific Coast in the 19+<s an! 19)<s as fro( /enry 3iller6 the ba!y6
te(pestuous riter of so(e of the finest prose to e(erge fro( @orth A(erica in
the tentieth century% ,n his later years 3iller beca(e a recluse an! li8e! at Big
Sur on the coast south of San 7rancisco% /e ha! ne8er (et 'rishna(urtiG but
after rea!ing a book about hi( by Carlo SuareD6 3iller rote6
'rishna(urti has renounce! (ore than any (an , can think of eBcept Christ% 7un!a(entally
he is so si(ple to un!erstan! that it is easy to co(prehen! the confusion hich his clear6 !irect
or!s an! !ee!s ha8e entaile!% 3en are reluctant to accept hat is easy to grasp%
, ha8e ne8er (et 'rishna(urti6 though there is no (an li8ing ho( , oul! consi!er it a
greater pri8ilege to (eet than he%
/is career6 uniCue in the history of spiritual lea!ers6 re(in!s one of the fa(ous ;ilga(esh
epic% /aile! in his youth as the co(ing Sa8ior6 'rishna(urti renounce! the role that as
prepare! for hi(6 spurne! all !isciples6 re:ecte! all (entors an! preceptors% /e initiate! no ne
faith or !og(a6 Cuestione! e8erything6 culti8ate! !oubt Mespecially in (o(ents of eBaltationN6
an!6 by !int of heroic struggle an! perser8erance6 free! hi(self of illusion an! enchant(ent6 of
pri!e6 8anity6 an! e8ery subtle for( of !o(inion o8er other% /e ent to the 8ery source of life
for sustenance an! inspiration% #o resist the iles an! snares of those ho sought to ensla8e an!
eBploit hi( !e(an!e! eternal 8igilance% /e liberate! his soul6 so to say6 fro( the un!erorl!
an! the o8erorl!6 thus opening to it the para!ise of heroes%$
,s it necessary to !efine this state5
1.
,n 19+)6 hen the ar as o8er6 'rishna(urti as to go to @e Sealan!6 but
fell 8ery ill% /e ha! urinary trouble6 high fe8er6 an! as unconscious for long
perio!s% ,t is possible that so(e 8ast psychic changes took place in hi( !uring
this illness% /e talks of recuperating by hi(self6 of the bo!y being alone% 1octors
sa hi(6 but see(e! unable to !iagnose his illness6 no (e!icines ere
prescribe!%
Part .
'rishna(urti in ,n!ia
19+9*19+9
CHAPTER 9
#he ;athering of the
7rien!s
-n August 1)6 19+96 ,n!ia beca(e in!epen!ent an! Jaaharlal @ehru its first
pri(e (inister% #u(ultuous yet non8iolent in character6 the struggle for
in!epen!ence ha! been fro( the early tentieth century gui!e! by 3ahat(a
;an!hi% By 19++ the courage of a non8iolent struggle against the (ilitary (ight
of the British A(pire ha! inspire! people in a orl! struggling to rehabilitate
itself after the (ost 8iolent ar in history%
But in!epen!ence in ,n!ia ha! also brought a bitter after(ath% #o achie8e it6
the 8ast subcontinent ha! been partitione!6 territories in the @orth6 =est6 an!
Aast cut aay fro( the (ain heartlan!6 to for( the ne ,sla(ic State of Pakistan%
7a(ilies ere !i8i!e!6 frien!ships broken% Fiolence eBplo!e!G (assacres6 rape6
looting6 arson ere itnesse! along the bor!ers an! in the hinterlan!% Fast
(igrations of people took placeG the /in!us (o8e! eastar!s6 the 3usli(s
estar!s% #he ne rulers of ,n!ia6 (ost of ho( ha! spent half their li8es in
:ail6 ere su!!enly calle! upon to bring or!er to a continent in fla(es an! to !eal
ith a refugee proble( the like of hich ha! ne8er before been itnesse!%
'>s arri8al in ,n!ia6 to (onths after in!epen!ence6 coul! not ha8e been at a
(ore propitious (o(ent% An ol! age in ,n!ia as !ying6 an! the birth of the ne
as beset by tra8ail an! !isillusion(ent% #he (assacres that ha! erupte! ith
free!o( an! the partition of ,n!ia ha! been trau(atic for (in!s nurture! on
theories of non8iolence% #here ha! been little ti(e to pause6 to pon!er6 to look
into the !istance6 to cogitate6 to ask fun!a(ental Cuestions% 7or ,n!ia>s lea!ers
an! buil!ers6 action base! on i((e!iacy ha! o8ertaken the possibility of action
born of long 8ision%
Fast resources of energy ere hel! in abeyance in the startlingly young bo!y
an! (in! of 'rishna(urti% /is face in 19+9 appeare! Cualitati8ely !ifferent fro(
earlier photographs of hi( in the 19.<s an! 190<s% ,t as e8i!ent that the long
perio! of ith!raal in -:ai6 brought about by forces beyon! his control6 ha!
pro8i!e! the spaces in hich eBplo!ing energies coul! con8erge% An intelligence
as co(ing into being6 a perfection of (in!6 heart6 an! bo!y that as supre(ely
beautiful6 (a:estic6 an! aake% =hen aske! about his years in -:ai6 ' sai!6 ,
think it as a perio! of no challenge6 no !e(an!6 no outgoing% , think it as a
kin! of e8erything kept in6 e8erything hel! inG an! hen , left -:ai it all burst%$
A splen!or an! inar! incan!escence ha! transfor(e! '>s faceG ancient yet
untouche! by ti(e% #he blue*black eyes reflecte! the long 8ision of the seer%
Profoun!ly e(pty yet groun!e! in co(passion6 they ere prophetic eyes that ha!
:ourneye! 8ast !istances% /is slightly greying hair6 sept back6 re8eale! the
(a:esty of his forehea!% #he earlobes ere long6 the hea! an! spine erect6 the
aist sli(6 the shoul!ers slope!% /e alke! ith long stri!es6 his feet presse!
!on6 sinking into the earth6 creating spaces ithin hich he alke!% #he long
ar(s reste! at his si!e6 the pal(s open an! hel! inar!% 7ro( (y first (eeting
ith hi(6 , as aare of the !eep stillness of his bo!y% ,n repose there as little
(o8e(ent of hea!6 shoul!er6 or spineG no (o8e(ent as superfluousG hen nee!
for action arose6 the bo!y respon!e! ith a natural !ignity an! grace6 ith
precision an! a (ini(u( eBpen!iture of energy%
,n !ialogue the han!s assu(e! sy(bolic gestures6 they opene!6 Cuestione!6
probe!6 containe!6 pointe! the ay% ?elaBe!6 the han!s reste!%
/e arri8e! in ,n!ia alone for the first ti(e% All outer bon!s an! constraints
ha! !roppe! aay% #hroughout his life he ha! been hel!6 protecte!% At first by
the affection an! concern of his father6 then by the #heosophical Society an!
their eBpectations of the role he as to play as the =orl! #eacher% =hen he left
the #heosophical Society6 its rituals an! hierarchies6 his outer life as taken o8er
by ?a:agopal an! ?osalin!% #he nine years in -:ai ha! separate! hi( fro( his
frien!s in ,n!ia% Sloly6 the ol!6 loyal frien!s ere !ying or being pushe! aay%
@o6 hoe8er6 there as no one to Cuestion hi(6 to plan his !ay6 to !eci!e
ho( he shoul! (eet6 here he shoul! go% -utar!ly an! inar!ly he as
totally free%
All through the years6 hene8er he as to return to ,n!ia6 his first act as to
take off his =estern clothes an! ear ,n!ian gar(ents% =ith this change of
clothes his personality6 attitu!es6 an! responses also change!% ,n the =est he as
(ore for(al6 ith eBCuisite -l! =orl! (anners% /e li8e! a seclu!e! life6
(eeting fe peopleG the long !iscussions an! insights that arose at breakfast an!
lunch6 inti(ately o8en into his life in ,n!ia6 ere absent% #he perceptions that
arose on alks or in apparently casual con8ersations ha8e not been recor!e!%
=ith the ,n!ian robes6 the length of hich ga8e hi( the look of a (en!icant6
he naturally assu(e! the role of the teacher% #he centuries of (e!itation an!
concern ith otherness hel! in abeyance in the ,n!ian earth entere! into hi(% /e
appeare! to gro taller6 the sloping shoul!ers re8eale! by the shape of his
gar(ent% /is alk ha! the (a:esty of the king elephant in a forest%
#he young (en an! o(en ho gathere! roun! 'rishna:i in Bo(bay M(any
of ho(6 like (yself6 ere to re(ain ith hi( for o8er thirty yearsN ere !ran
fro( 8arious !isciplinesHpolitical6 literary6 aca!e(ic6 an! social% 3any of the(
ha! participate! in the free!o( struggle an! ha! been acclai(e! political heroes%
7ille! ith horror by the e8ents that folloe! the partition of ,n!ia6 they lacke!
the prophetic insight to see the chaos that as to face the ,n!ia of the future%
#hey ere sensiti8e enough6 hoe8er6 not to share in the il! euphoria of
free!o( that le! large nu(bers of people to belie8e that ith the retreat of the
British ?a: a ;ol!en Age base! on the ethical 8alues of secularis(6 socialis(6
an! an en!ing of po8erty ha! !ane!%
#hey ha! gli(pse! the astelan! of a(bition6 bitterness6 an! gree! that lay
behin! their slogans an! gran!iose or!s% #he i!eals that ha! carrie! the(
through years of political struggle ha! cru(ble! un!er the(6 an! ith it the
8erbal structures that ha! nourishe! the(% #hey ere face! ith confusion6
contra!iction6 an! hat see(e! a blank all%
#hey gathere! because of the ra!iance an! co(passion that e(anate! fro(
'>s presenceG an! because of the personal aches an! !espairs6 the sorro6 that
they coul! neither face nor !ispelG an! their inability to gi8e a (eaningful
!irection to their li8es% Bu!!ha ha! or!aine! his (onks ith the call -hi -tha6$
Co(e ye% 'rishna(urti>s silent call as of the sa(e nature%
A(ongst the people ho (et ' at the airport as Sir Chunilal 3ehta6 a
!istinguishe! in!ustrialist6 ho ha! ser8e! as a (e(ber of the ;o8ernors
Council in hat as then the Bo(bay presi!ency%
1
An ar!ent a!(irer of '6 Sir
Chunilal as ecstatic hen6 on returning ho(e6 he tol! his young !aughter*in*
la @an!ini of this on!rous young being6 ho ran !on the steps of the plane
Han! like a shaft of light ca(e toar!s us%$ ' as staying at the house of
?atansi 3orar:i on Car(ichael ?oa!% ,t as open house in the (ornings6 an!
(any people ha! gathere! hen Chunilal 3ehta an! @an!ini alke! in% =hat
happene! is best tol! in the or!s of @an!ini2
, ent an! sat on the floor in a corner6 feeling a little ner8ous% , sa a figure
in a long hite kurta sitting straight*backe! at a !istance% #he roo( as full of
people6 an! ' as in the (i!st of a !iscussion% 'aka:i KSir ChunilalL as sitting
facing ' an! soon :oine! in the !iscussion% A (inute later '6 hose face as
looking aay fro( (e6 turne! an! looke! at (e stea!ily for a fe secon!s% #i(e
stoppe! for (e% /e turne! back an! continue! his !iscussion% So(e ti(e later he
turne! again an! looke! !eep into (y eyes6 an! again ti(e stoppe!% ' continue!
his !iscussion% But , as totally unaare of hat as being sai!%
#he !iscussion en!e! an! people starte! getting up to lea8e% , rose an! foun!
' stan!ing in front of (e% Seeing ' approaching (e6 'aka:i rushe! up an!
intro!uce! (e as O@an!ini6 (y !aughter*in*la>H'rishna:i ha! starte!
laughing6 not s(iling6 but laughingH, ha! ne8er hear! laughter as !eep an! as
resonant% #he soun! of a /i(alayan strea( falling rock to rock to (ingle ith
another strea(% /e aske!6 O=hy ha8e you co(e5> #ears ha! starte! floing
uncontrollably !on (y cheeks% /e continue! to laugh an! (y tears continue!
to flo% /e took (y han! an! hel! it har!% Again he aske!6 O=hy ha8e you
co(e5> an! at last , coul! speak6 though the tears ere unabate!% O, ha8e aite!
thirty years to see you%> K@an!ini as thirty years ol! at the ti(e%L '>s laughter
continue!% #hen6 letting go of (y han!6 he place! his pal( on (y hea! an! left it
there for a fe secon!s% 3y pranams
.
to hi( ere through (y tears%
,n the car 'aka:i see(e! a little beil!ere!6 turne! aroun! an! tol! (e6 O1i!
you see hi(5 #hat he shoul! notice you is a great pri8ilege% 1on>t let it go to
your hea!%> , starte! acco(panying 'aka:i e8ery !ay to see '% -ne (orning '
sai!6 O1on>t you ant to see (e5> , !i! not anser% , !i! not kno it as
possible to see hi(%$
' as to lea8e for 3a!ras shortly6 an! it as only on his return that @an!ini
starte! seeing hi(%
1
#he present states of 3aharashtra an! ;u:arat%
.
Pranam an! namaskara ha8e the sa(e (eaning eBcept that pranam has an ele(ent of greater respect in
it% ,t is the tra!itional for( of greeting6 the hol!ing up of fol!e! han!s as in prayer%
3aurice 7rie!(an6 a Polish engineer6 as also at Car(ichael ?oa! to (eet '
on his arri8al% A tiny6 bent*backe! (an6 he ore a kurta an! a loose6 ill*fitting
py:a(a% ,t as i(possible to !eter(ine his age% A #heosophist since his
boyhoo!6 he ha! co(e to ,n!ia as an engineer to ork in Bangalore% Soon he lost
interest in his ork6 !onne! a saffron robe6 took the 8os6 an! beca(e a
(en!icant6 taking the na(e of Bharatanan!% 7ro( the northern(ost point of
,n!ia to 'anyaku(ari in the !eep South6 he tra8ele! the pilgri(>s pathH
barefoot6 eating the foo! gi8en to hi(6 staying in maths M(onasteriesN or un!er
trees6 !iscussing ith yogis an! fakirs% /e (et ise (en an! hel! !iscourses
ith religious teachers6 but foun! that aakening !i! not lie in the outer faca!e
of robe or begging bol% So6 gi8ing up the robe6 he ca(e an! staye! at ?a(ana
3aharshi>s ashram in the !eep South% ?a(ana 3aharshi is regar!e! as a
liberate! (anG a saint ho broke all bon!ages an! transcen!e! the self%
An apocryphal story relates ho 7rie!(an ent to the floo!e! ri8er one !ay%
Pon!ering on life an! causation6 he sai! to hi(self6 ,f , a( to !ie6 , ill be
sept aayG if , ha8e to li8e6 the aters ill sa8e (e%$ So he thre hi(self into
the torrential aters6 an! as thron back on the banks% #hrice he thre hi(self6
an! three ti(es the aters refuse! to accept hi(% So6 battere! in bo!y but
un!aunte! in spirit6 he sai!6 7ate ants (e to li8e%$ /e alke! back to the
ashram% /alf*ay he (et ?a(ana 3aharshi6 ho looke! at hi( an! sai! gently
but sternly6 Stop playing the fool ith yourself%$
=hile a sannyasin6 7rie!(an ha! li8e! for so(e years at Se8agra(6
;an!hi:i>s ashram near =ar!ha6 in 3aharashtra% /e use! his engineering skills
to help e8ol8e the am%ar &harkha6 the (any*spin!le! spinning heel6 an! ha!
participate! in (any of the !e8elop(ent progra(s initiate! by ;an!hi:i% 1eeply
intereste! in ' an! his teachings6 he ha! co(e to Bo(bay to be ith hi(%
7rie!(an participate! in the !iscussions ith (uch energy6 took on hi(self the
role of interpreter6 an! preface! his re(arks ith6 ,n other or!s%%%$ =ar(6
affectionate6 intelligent6 intensely curious6 but ith a so(ehat !istorte!
approach to life6 he battere! hi(self against his bon!s6 unable to penetrate
beyon! his on self*(a!e li(itations of or!s an! i!eas%
Ja(na!as 1arka!as6 another constant 8isitor6 as a rotun! figure ho ore
a spotless dhoti6 a hite ;an!hi cap6 an! kurta% 1arka!as ca(e fro( a 8ery
affluent fa(ily fro( 'utch% 4ong settle! in Bo(bay6 the se8eral brothers ha!
!istinguishe! the(sel8es in 8arious fiel!s% Ja(na!as 1arka!as6 a politician an!
business(an6 ha! been a close associate an! frien! of 1r% Annie Besant%
;enerous of heart an! ith a !eep !e8otion to '6 he ha! gi8en of his ealth ith
abun!ance% #hrough the years he as to lose his fa(ily fortunes6 but his
generosity !i! not !i(inish nor !i! (isfortune sour his bountiful nature% /e
oul! e(brace '6 eep ith e(otion6 an! sit ith his eyes close! !uring the
!iscussions6 an ecstatic look on his cherubic face% /e oul! tell us stories of '>s
chil!hoo!G for Ja(na!as ha! a re(arkable (e(ory an! a fun! of anec!otes% #he
chil!ren in our fa(ily gathere! roun! hi(6 for he hel! the( spellboun! ith
stories of ' an! 1r% Besant% A vaishnava6
1
he brought ' eBCuisite garlan!s of
1
A vaishnava is a !e8otee of 'rishna% But the or! also con8eys a certain ethical beha8ior6 such as
8egetarianis(6 al(sgi8ing6 kin!ness6 an! !e8otion%
:as(ine intero8en ith rose petals to rese(ble pearls an! rubiesG he oul!
insist that ' ear this fragrant garlan! after his !iscussions an! talks% , re(e(ber
stan!ing ith @an!ini at the foot of the staircase that le! to the terrace here '
hel! !iscussions% ' stoo! at the hea! of the stairay6 a slen!er figure in hite6
ith :as(ine aroun! his neck6 a garlan! that fell to his knees% ,t as alays late
e8ening hen the !iscussions en!e!6 an! the glo of the lights use! to catch '>s
hair6 sept back fro( his bro6 hile his eyes s(ile! !on at us%
Also a(ongst the people ho gathere! at 3a!ras to (eet ' in -ctober 19+9
as a young che(ist na(e! Balasun!ara(6 ho as teaching at the ,nstitute of
Science in Bangalore% ' as staying at Sterling ?oa!6 3a!ras6 here he ga8e
talks an! hel! public !iscussions% /is host as ?% 3a!ha8achari6 the ,n!ian
representati8e of 'rishna(urti =ritings ,nc% an! an engineer in the Southern
?ailays%
Atten!ance at the talks as s(allG a fe ol! #heosophists6 so(e riters an!
professors6 an! a fe young people ere the au!ience% A(ongst the( as
Shanta ?ao6 the %harat natyam
1
!ancerG she spent the !ay at Sterling ?oa!6
taking ' his orange :uice6 helping ser8e his foo!6 an! acting as a dwarpa6 a
!oorkeeper outsi!e '>s !oor%
#hese ere the years before Shanta ?ao ha! e(erge!6 resplen!ent on the
,n!ian lan!scape6 as one of the (ost brilliant %harat natyam !ancers to perfor(
in free ,n!ia% Shanta entere! '>s surroun!ings ith the sa(e eloCuence an!
assure! presence ith hich she entere! a stage% She as to spen! long perio!s
of ti(e in 3a!ras listening to his talks6 ha8ing inter8ies ith hi(6 or :ust being
aroun!% &oung6 ith a panther*like bo!y an! strong6 arrogant (in!6 she ha!
stu!ie! the 3atya $astras
/
an! ha! learne! to !ance un!er the !iscipline of the
great gurus of %harat natyam an! kathakai%
0
/er supre(e confi!ence as
e8i!ent in her poise an! her or!s% She Cuestione! ' on the nature of beautyH
hether it as outer or inner6 an! hat as its (easure%
Perhaps she influence! '6 ho rote of a !ancer in his Comm"ntari"s on
+iving2
She as a !ancer6 not by profession but by choice% She (ust ha8e felt prou! of her art6 for there
as arrogance about herHnot only the arrogance of achie8e(ent but also that of so(e inner
recognition of her on spiritual orth% As another oul! be satisfie! ith outar! success6 she
as gratifie! by her spiritual a!8ance(ent% She not only !ance!6 but also ga8e talks on art6 on
beauty6 an! on spiritual achie8e(ent%
1
Another 8isitor ho as closely associate! ith ' through his years in ,n!ia
as !oe*eye!6 lisso( Sunan!a6 the !aughter of an ol! #heosophist% Sunan!a6 a
1
Bharat natyam2 1ances born out of the rituals of orship in the te(ples of South ,n!ia% ,t as in the
(i!!le of the tentieth century that %harat natyam began to be !ance! by o(en of the higher castes an!
as transporte! fro( the te(ple to the stage6 fro( ritual to art an! entertain(ent%
.
3atya $astras6 ritten beteen .<< B%C% an! A%1% .<< by the sage Bharat 3uni6 as a treatise on the
!ra(atic arts6 (i(e6 !ance6 stagecraft% A theory of aesthetics for(e! the basic ele(ent of the book%
0
Kathakai is !ance6 (i(e an! theater% Acco(panie! by poerful !ru((ing an! song6 it e8ol8e! in the
courts of the @ayar kings of 'erala% #he stories ere base! on the epics6 the 3ahabharata an! the
?a(ayana% #he @ayars ere a (ilitary class% #he society as (atriarchal% #he Brah(ins M@a(boo!riesN
ere learne! an! poerful% Costu(es6 painte! (asks6 an! highly styliDe! gestures ere integral to the
kathakai for( of !ance%
gra!uate of 3a!ras "ni8ersity6 ha! a finely hone! intellect an! as stu!ying la
an! preparing for the foreign ser8ice eBa(ination% She too spent so(e ti(e e8ery
!ay ith ' at Sterling ?oa!Hspeaking of her !rea(s of the future6 her personal
proble(s6 or atching hi( as he sat polishing his shoes or sitting Cuietly hile '
as riting letters% ' bantere! ith her6 chante! ith her6 tol! her that she as
too young to consi!er settling !on6 an! aske! her to go out an! see the orl!%
/er senses afire6 she respon!e! passionately to '>s presence an! as sept aay
in the torrent of his attention%
,n those years ' as 8ery accessible% 3ukun! Pa!a6 a young (an ho oul!
later !on the saffron robe6 rote to (e (any years after of his (eeting ith ' in
19+92
Back in 3a!ras6 , atten!e! for the first ti(e in 1ece(ber 19+9 a talk by one #heosophist
na(e! J% 'rishna(urti as !escribe! by an el!erly person% #he talk stunne! an! rocke! (e out of
(y core% Stan!ing lost an! helpless after the talk6 'rishna:i ho as passing (e6 su!!enly
stoppe! an! putting an ar( aroun! (e aske! Shri 3a!ha8achari to grant (e so(e ti(e for an
inter8ie% #he inter8ie beteen an insignificant pebble an! the /i(alayas as a blast of the
Aternal6 Cos(ic breath% ,t left (e shattere! an! tre(bling in e8ery li(b% As 'rishna:i as
speaking6 , as thun!erstruck in an aareness that the see!s of his (essage ere alrea!y there
in (y brain% ,t as the 8oice of truth that ha! spoken to (e% /is last or!s to (e on parting6 as
he ca(e to the !oor Sir6 to floers or things can be si(ilar6 but not the sa(e6$ su!!enly
opene! an i((ense space% Euietly or!s surface! in (y (in!% &es6 Sir6 thou are Blesse!ness
alking a(ongst hu(anity% #o floers (ay be si(ilar% &ou are the thornless floerH(e6 ,
a( (ore thorns than floer%$ -h6 ho he laughe!Hhis laughter like a lightning in a
thun!erclou!%
1r% Balasun!ara( foun! that 'rishna:i>s for(er #heosophical associates ha!
gron ol!% C% Jinara:a!asa6 then presi!ent of the #heosophical Society an!
earing a purple cap6 use! to 8isit 'rishna:i% #hey ha! long talks6 but 'rishna:i
!i! not enter the co(poun! of the #heosophical SocietyHthough he ent for
long alks on A!yar beach% San:ee8a ?ao6 an ol! associate of 1r% Besant an! an
e(inent e!ucator ho ha! built 'rishna:i>s e!ucational institutions in Faranasi6
an! his ife Pa!(abai6 a frien! of 'rishna:i an! an eCually ell*knon e!ucator
in her on right6 ere constant 8isitors%
A s(all !iscussion group ha! starte!6 but (ost of the participants ere eary
an! aging an! ha! little contact ith the enor(ous ne teaching% ' tol! the(6
&ou are clinging to the knon% 4et go%$ #hey looke! beil!ere!6 trie! to appear
intense6 but little energy as generate!%
Balasun!ara( !escribe! to (e a poignant (o(ent !uring a !iscussion of the
en!ing of the knon%$ An ol! #heosophist na(e! @arhari ?ao ha! put up his
han!s an!6 in a tre(ulous 8oice6 sai! to 'rishna:i6 =ait6 Sir6 aitHthe
unknon is co(ing%$
B% San:ee8a ?ao acco(panie! 'rishna:i on his return to Bo(bay fro(
3a!ras in early January 19+8% #hey ere staying ith ?atansi 3orar:i at
Car(ichael ?oa!% A8ery (orning an! e8ening 'rishna:i oul! sit in the li8ing
roo(6 hich as furnishe! ith chinoiseries6 car8e! chairs6 an! :eele! screens%
People ho ishe! to see 'rishna:i !roppe! in an! sat ith hi( asking
Cuestions6 !iscussing proble(s or gi8ing hi( the nes of the !ay%
Pro(inent a(ongst the 8isitors ere to young (en !resse! in spotless hite
han!*spun an! han!o8en khadi2 ?ao Sahib Patar!han an! Achyut
Patar!han% #heir father ha! been a respecte! an! ealthy resi!ent of
Ah(a!nagar in 3aharashtra6 ha! belonge! to the #heosophical Society6 an! ha!
been an ar!ent folloer of Annie Besant% /e !ie! young6 lea8ing the bur!en of
his large fa(ily to his el!est son6 ?ao Sahib Patar!han% Before his !eath he ha!
tol! his to el!er sons that they ere to !e!icate their li8es to 'rishna:i an! his
ork% =hate8er happene! in the future6 they ere ne8er to !eny the great
teacher%
/an!so(e6 intensely (ale6 austere6 ith an in8iolable integrity6 ?ao Sahib
an! Achyut ere !e8ote! brothers% =ithin his fa(ily ?ao Sahib as a
!o(ineering patriarch% 1eeply attache! to learning6 i(patient ith o(en
eBcept the rare fe ho (easure! up to his stan!ar! of brain an! heart6 he set
hi(self (oral stan!ar!s an! practice! an austerity that (a!e life (iserable for
his fa(ily an! place! li(its on his on potential% /e as !eeply co((itte! to
ork for the a(elioration of po8erty an! ant6 an! as closely associate! ith
the Sar8a Se8a Sangh6 a ser8ice organiDation establishe! aroun! ;an!hi:iG but it
as the i!ea rather than the operational part of ork that attracte! hi(% /e as
not a buil!er6 nor an organiDer% Perhaps the lesson that nothing is tri8ial ha!
e8a!e! hi(% #he can8as of the free!o( struggle as 8ast6 an! the actors ha!
assu(e! the role of heroes% #he struggle ha! not prepare! these fighters of
in!epen!ence for a ork technology that oul! !e(an! an un!erstan!ing of the
nuts an! bolts of !e8elop(ent% An insight into the see(ingly tri8ial as part of
the genius of ;an!hi:i an! his ho(espun !e8elop(ent econo(ics% #o !eca!es
of in!epen!ence oul! pass before its essential truth as (a!e clear%
?ao Sahib as intense6 but he as also 8ulnerable an! sensiti8e to beauty% A
ro(antic6 the austere an! the sensory battle! ithin hi( an! (a!e hi( hesitate
an! ith!ra at the slightest sign of a physical floering of the senses% #he only
areas in hich he per(itte! aban!on ere in his relationship to '6 an! in
groing roses an! culti8ating the pari:ataka bush%
#hat he ne8er broke through the li(itations of his self*i(pose! austerity an!
circu(scribe! en8iron(ent as a personal trage!y% =ithin hi( as a reser8oir6
capable of recei8ing an! co((unicating ith abun!ance% /is Brah(inic
arrogance an! refusal to clai( hat as his by right6 along ith an incapacity to
take anything to its li(its6 generate! conflict an! kept hi( con!itione! an!
confine!%
/is brother Achyut as an intellectual6 a or! that in ,n!ia has 8ery special
connotations% /e li8e! in an age that haile! 'arl 3arB as the prophet of the ne
aakene! (an6 an! Achyut6 along ith his frien!s Jai Prakash @arain an!
Acharya @aren!ra 1e86 gre i(patient ith the ol!er tra!itional lea!ership of
,n!ia6 hich as concerne! pri(arily ith (aintaining the status Cuo% #ogether6
they foun!e! the Socialist Party of ,n!ia% ,n total contrast to ?ao Sahib6 Achyut
as not e(otionalG in hi( the (in! !o(inate! action% /e as a lea!er of (en6 a
fighterG an! for long perio!s of his life en!s !eter(ine! (eans% But his incapacity
to ear (asks or to !isguise his e(otions inhibite! hi(% /e ha! a 8iolent te(per
an! coul! sel!o( brook being tharte!%
,n 19.96 hen the free!o( struggle in ,n!ia as at its peak6 the brothers ha!
gone to 'rishna(urti% Achyut ha! aske!6 1o you really (ean it hen you say
Onegate all authority>5$ ' replie!6 &es% #he (in! has to re:ect authority an!
eBa(ine e8erything%$ Achyut>s response as that6 for hi(6 the free!o( of ,n!ia
as the only free!o( that as i(portant% -n this note he left 'rishna(urti6 an!
he an! ?ao Sahib plunge! into the struggle for in!epen!enceHfighting the
British colonial rule6 going to :ail for long perio!s6 (aking frien!s ithin prison
alls6 rea!ing an! conte(plating%
,n 19086 the last ti(e 'rishna(urti as in ,n!ia before 19+96 Achyut (et hi(
in ?ishi Falley%
1
3a!ri! ha! fallen in the Spanish Ci8il =ar an! Achyut as in
tears% Speaking to Achyut6 ' sai! that in this !efeat he sa the beginning of
=orl! =ar ,,% /e co((ente! that he !i! not see (uch !ifference beteen
fascis( an! co((unis(% Achyut 8ehe(ently !enie! this% ' repeate!6 #hey are
both tyrannies%$ ,t as a (a:or truth that Achyut as to realiDe in later years%
#he Euit ,n!ia (o8e(ent of 19+.
.
sa ?ao Sahib in :ail6 hile Achyut ha!
gone un!ergroun! to an!er6 seeking anony(ity an! refuge o8er the length an!
brea!th of ,n!ia% /e an! Jai Prakash @arain ere to beco(e re8olutionary heroes
of those !ark6 fearful6 yet intoBicating !ays% "nlike Jai Prakash Achyut as ne8er
arreste!6 escaping the police net ti(e an! againHby taking refuge in a hospital6
!isguising hi(self as a (iserable clerk6 groing a bear!6 an! earing a feD%
,n 19+9 he ca(e to '6 eary an! !isillusione!% =ith free!o(6 the petty urges
to poer that ha! lain in abeyance a(ongst Congress lea!ers ere surfacing%
1uring the struggle the anti*Brah(in feeling in 3aharashtra ha! little 8itality%
#he lea!ers6 the constructi8e orkers6 the intelligentsia in 3aharashtra ere
(ainly Brah(ins% =ith in!epen!ence6 the !ri8es for the loa8es an! fishes of
office ha! gi8en sti(ulus to the for(ation of groups ithin the Congress% Fery
!isturbe! by the intrigues an! ith a fracture! e(otional life6 Achyut turne! back
to his roots an! sought a!8ice fro( 'rishna(urti%
Achyut eBpresse! his conflicts6 an! ' took Achyut for a alk% Pointing to a
tree6 he turne! to Achyut an! sai!6 4ook at that treeHthe leaf that as ten!er
green has turne! yello% #he leaf has nothing to !o ith it% ,t is born6 !ries an!
falls% Any !ecision to stay in politics or to lea8e6 any !ecision taken by choice is
rong% #hings happen in their on course% Stop fretting%$
Achyut ent to see ;an!hi:i for the last ti(e toar! the en! of 19+9% /e tol!
hi( that he as going to lea8e politics for a fe (onths% ;an!hi:i aske! hi(
hat he as going to !o% =hen he hear! he as to spen! the ti(e ith
'rishna(urti6 ;an!hi:i as 8ery happy% /e spoke to Achyut of the terrible
1
?ishi Falley6 ten (iles fro( 'rishna:i>s birth place 3a!anapalle6 as so na(e! after the cone*shape!
hill6 ?ishi 'on!a6 hich lay to the est of the 8alley% Seeking to fin! a suitable site for a school6
'rishna:i6 ith so(e frien!s6 ha! spotte! the 8ast banyan tree fro( the roa!si!e% /e stoppe! the car an!
sai!6 #his is the place%$
.
A (eeting of the All ,n!ia Congress Co((ittee as hel! in Bo(bay on July 166 19+.% #he (ain
intention as to ser8e notice on the British go8ern(ent to Euit ,n!ia%$ #he resolution as greete! ith
an uproar of applause% #hat night 3ahat(a ;an!hi6 Jaaharlal @ehru6 an! a large nu(ber of Congress
lea!ers ere arreste! in Bo(bay an! other parts of ,n!ia%
e8ents of the partition% /e sai! he as passing through a great !arkness% /e
coul! not see any light%
Achyut spent the neBt year ith ' in Bo(bay6 -otaca(un!6 Poona6 1elhi6
an! Faranasi% At the en! of the year Achyut tol! 'rishna(urti that hen he as
ith hi( all his faculties ere i!e aake% '>s response as6 Be careful6 !on>t
take a little of this6 to gil! hat you alrea!y kno% =hat you think you feel is
only a theory% -n no account allo your (in! to be sti(ulate! by (e%$ ,n early
19+9 Achyut returne! to 1elhi to e!it a Socialist eeklyG but his co(ra!es ere
aare of !eep changes taking place ithin hi(6 hich ere to lea! to his final
break ith the Socialist Party an! politics%
?ao Sahib as a (e(ber of the Congress orking co((ittee% A frien! of
Jaaharlal @ehru an! Sar!ar Patel6
1
his future in politics see(e! assure!% But he
too felt the suffocation an! !arkness of the struggle for position an! poer that
erupte! a(ongst his ersthile frien!s% #he Constituent Asse(bly as about to
(eet% ?ao Sahib as eBpecte! to be one of the participants6 but his close frien!s
persua!e! Fallabhai Patel an! Jaaharlal @ehru to eBclu!e hi(% ?ao Sahib as
!eeply hurt6 but his pri!e an! obstinacy (a!e it i(possible for hi( to fight his
frien!s or to appeal to @ehru% #he personal !isappoint(ent as forgotten in the
after(ath of partitionG the hatre!6 bloo!she!6 an! cruelty generate! by the
transfer of population ha! shattere! ?ao Sahib>s foun!ations6 built on ;an!hian
8alues an! i!eals% /e (et 'rishna(urti6 !iscusse! his conflicts ith hi(6
listene! to his talks% /is i((aculately starche! khadi kurta an! ;an!hi cap orn
at a rakish angle6 an! his face ith its ar( capti8ating s(ile6 ere seen
(ornings an! e8enings aroun! 'rishna(urti%
?eare! in an at(osphere that thre up 8ast challenges an! !e(an!e! eCually
8ast responses6 ?ao Sahib an! Achyut ne8er a!(itte! to any personal sorro6
frustration6 or !espair% #o the( the personal as narro an! tri8ial% #he can8as
of their concern ha! to inclu!e great abstractionsH(an6 the (asses6 the poor%
#heir sorro ha! (eaning only hen relate! to the i((ense sorro of (an%
3any years later Achyut as to tell (e6 #hat as the great illusion$ that hel!
?ao i(prisone!%
/oe8er6 the intensity an! lu(inosity of 'rishna(urti touche! !eep springs%
#he #eacher reache! out ith a passionate fla(e% 'rishna(urti s(ile!6 an! ?ao
s(ile! ith hi(% #ears sprang to ?ao>s eyes6 for %hakti6
.
also part of the
3aharashtrian ethos6 as aakene!% ?ao Sahib6 ith lo8e o8erfloing6 oul!
say ith fol!e! pal(s6 Sir6 there as a 3aharashtrian poet6 Saint #ukara(6 ho
sai!6 O=hen vitha
7
enters the ho(e of a househol!er all peace is shattere!%> $ ,n
the e8enings6 ?ao an! Achyut oul! sing #ukara(>s A%hangas%$ Adi B"ja
-k"$ as ?ao>s fa8orite% /e ha! a !eep6 e(otion*fille! 8oice% -n other
occasions they :oine! 'rishna(urti in chanting the Purusha $hukta$ of the Rig
!"da% #hey sat straight*backe!6 the sharp staccato soun!s of Sanskrit
re8erberating an! filling ears an! eyes% #he 8oels ere resonant an! strong6
each soun! pronounce! !istinctly% #he v"di& chants ere o8en on fire6 on
1
Fallabhai Patel an! Sar!ar Patel are the sa(e person% Fallabhai as the gi8en na(e an! Patel the caste
na(e% Sar!ar6 (eaning lea!er6 as a ter( of en!ear(ent an! respect%
.
Bhakti2 A cree! base! on !e8otion to 'rishna%
0
!itha2 Another na(e for 'rishna6 the !i8ine coher!%
in!s6 on the hearts an! breath of singer an! listener% =e gathere! an! listene!6
e8en the little onesH(y !aughter ?a!hika6 age! ten6 an! (y nephe Asit6 age!
nine% =i!e*eye!6 they ere sept into the blaDing presence of 'rishna(urti6 a
(an afla(e ith intensity% Beauty of soun!6 for(6 illu(ine!% A8ery pore of the
bo!y respon!e!% #hose ere enchante! (o(ents%
CHAPTER 10
&ou Are the =orl!%$
'rishna(urti in later years as to say of hi(self6 7ull aakening ca(e in ,n!ia
in 19+9 to 19+8%$ 1uring those years the fi8e ays of co((unication integral to
the teaching ere unfol!ing2 public talks6 !ialogues an! !iscussions6 personal
inter8ies6 see(ingly casual insights re8eale! on alks or at the !inner table6
an! silences% 'rishna(urti as launching his associates an! listeners on the ri8er
of self*knoing6 on a :ourney of !isco8ery of oneself ithout a beginning$ that
in its (o8e(ent broke the li(itations of the (in!6 opening ne frontiers of
perception% ,t as an austere teaching6 not in its !e(an! for outer renunciation or
sacrifice Mthough in actuality6 austerity an! a life of correctness as the groun!
fro( hich the teaching e(anate!N6 but in its total negation of all anchors6
crutches6 an! rituals6 e8en the (ost subtle%
#he !enial of the guru as central to religious enCuiry as in ,n!ia the ulti(ate
negation of all spiritual authorityG for in the absence of the one sacre! re8eale!
book6 the guru as the initiator6 the preceptor6 the !ooray to truth% By his
refusal to conce!e the place of any inter(e!iary beteen the seeker an! reality6
'rishna(urti cast total responsibility on the seeker% #o the seeker he sai!6 #he
?eal is near6 you !o not ha8e to seek% #ruth is in Ohat is>6 an! that is the beauty
of it%$ But for the aspirant ho re(aine! inar!ly a !isciple6 there as
beil!er(ent6 for there as nohere to go6 no goal to reach6 no peak to cli(b%
#here as no guru to pro(ise ecstasy or eBplo!ing lights6 no 8isions or siddhis6
eBtrasensory poers6 to sustain a CuestG all eBtrasensory pheno(ena as they arose
ere to be obser8e! an! put asi!e% #he only concern as ith the aakening of a
li8ing perception2 seeing an! listening to the actual in the outer6 as re8eale! in
relationship to (an an! natureG an! in the inner as re8eale! in thoughts an!
feelings that ere the actual content of the (in!%
#his frontier perception6 !irect an! uncluttere!6 as the beginning of self*
knole!ge6 of the self as is%$ #o obser8e thought as it arose in consciousness6
an! as it !isappeare! to hol! it by its tail an! not let go6 as to ha8e insights into
the nature of thought an! to obser8e hat is%$
But the hat is6$ in its sift (o8e(ent6 as constantly changing6
transfor(ing6 in fluB% An aareness floing fro( senses tethere! to a sluggish
static (in!6 hel! in thought born of the past6 !i! not ha8e the energy or the
pliability to pursue an! be one ith the present6 the no$ of eBistence6 an! act
fro( that perception% 3an as fore8er seeking to (ol! the (o8e(ent of thought6
pro:ecting action into the future as the , ill be6$ an! so tharting action in the
present% 'rishna(urti aske!6 =ho is it ho seeks to (ol! or change thought or
gi8e it !irection5 ?e(o8e thought6 here is the thinker5 ,f the thinker is thought
Hthen he cannot act or change thought% #hought has to en!%$
1
=hen aske!6 /o !oes one kno oneself5 =hat is there to kno5 7or hat
!oes one seek5 =here !oes one start5$ he replie!6 #he (ore co(pleB the
Cuestion6 the (ore o8erpoering the confusion6 the (ore si(ple an! innocent
has to be the approach% 3an !oes not kno the ay6 so the only thing he can !o
is to cease to struggle an! ith hate8er instru(ents an! energy he has6 obser8e
that hich is the bon!age% ,t is the si(ple6 the sorro*la!en6 the real seeker ho
is the hope% #he si(ple are so crushe! by their on insignificance6 they !o not
trust the integrity of their on intentions%$
.
3any people ca(e to hi( seeking physical healing% #o the( he sai!6 , also
at one ti(e !i! healingG but , foun! it far (ore i(portant to heal the (in!6 the
inar! state of being% 3erely to concentrate on healing physically (ay (ake for
popularity6 !ra large cro!s6 but it ill not lea! (an to happiness%$
0
,n Comm"ntari"s on +iving ,6 he rites2 =e are an o!! peopleG e an!er in
search for e8erything in far off places hen it is so close to us% Beauty is e8er
there6 ne8er here6 truth is ne8er in our ho(es but in so(e !istant place% =e go to
the other si!e of the orl! to fin! the (aster6 an! e are not aare of the
ser8antG e !o not un!erstan! the co((on things of life6 the e8ery!ay struggles
an! :oys an! yet e atte(pt to grasp the (ysterious an! the hi!!en%$
+
'rishna(urti>s public talks in Bo(bay in January 19+8 ere hel! on the
lans of Sir Chunilal 3ehta>s spacious resi!ence on ?i!ge ?oa!% 'rishna(urti
entere! the groun!s !resse! in a re!*bor!ere! dhoti6 a long6 spotlessly hite
kurta6 an! an angavastram% #aking off his san!als6 he sat cross*legge! on a
platfor(6 his back straight an! ithout (o8e(ent% #urning his hea! he looke! at
the fi8e hun!re! people ho sat on the groun! or on chairs before hi(% A(ong
the( ere sannyasis6 ol! #heosophists6 so(e professors6 an! a sprinkling of
khadi caps% #here ere fe young peopleG but the rich (erchant princes of
Bo(bay6 the frien!s of Sir Chunilal 3ehta6 ere present%
,n those early years 'rishna(urti flaye! the rich% /e as to say6 &ou cannot
(iB go! an! (a((on% ?eality is not for the (an ho has his han! in his
neighbor>s pocketHho eBploits an! fills his heart ith the riches of the earth%$
)
#he gaDe of 'rishna(urti !re his listeners into a unite! fiel! of attention% But it
as not a glance that classifie! as a group% #he !irect co((unication that
e(anate! fro( 'rishna(urti establishe! contact ith the in!i8i!ual o(an an!
(anG each person felt that 'rishna(urti as speaking to her or hi( alone% ,n
those early years 'rishna(urti>s role as that of a frien!6 taking the han! of the
(an in sorro an! alking ith hi( through the byays an! !epths of the (in!6
of thought an! feeling% /e (o8e! step by step6 ith infinite patience6 opening up
the proble(6 probing6 Cuestioning6 blocking all escapes aay fro( the fact%
#eaching the listener to obser8e6 as in a (irror6 sorro6 anger6 fear6 loneliness%
#eaching hi( to !ell on the space beteen thoughtsH(o8ing fro( thought to
thoughtG to see6 hen pushe! back to its roots an! its source6 thought !issol8e in
the groun! of its begetting%
=hile speaking6 'rishna(urti as aare not only of the people ho listene!
to the or!s he as saying6 but of hat as happening aroun! hi(Hthe bir!s
tittering6 a leaf falling6 the soun! of a flute being playe! in the !istance% #here
as a si(ultaneity of aareness6 an inclusi8e seeing6 listening6 that !i! not shut
out the outer or the inner6 but let it flo through the (in!6 so that nothing as
eBclusi8e6 nothing as a !istraction% -nly the floing ri8er of eBistence6 of
hat is%$
A large nu(ber of people ere hearing hi( for the first ti(e% /is 8ocabulary
ha! totally change!6 an! e8en people like San:ee8a ?ao6 ho ha! been ith hi(
for (any years6 foun! it !ifficult to co(prehen! hi(% =hat he sai! appeare!
si(ple% , a( going to say O=hat is> an! , ill follo the (o8e(ent of O=hat
is%> $ #hen to the au!ience6 7ollo not (y or!s6 but the (o8e(ent of thought6
that is acti8e in you%$
6
#o acknole!ge life as is6$ en!s conflict% #he seeing of
O=hat is> is the free!o( fro( O=hat is> $
9
Clogge! ith or!s an! i!eas6 an! caught in the trap of beco(ing6 the (in!s
of '>s listeners6 hich ha! ne8er !irectly seen$ thought as it operatesHits
(o8e(ent6 its co(pleBities6 an! the spaces it creates as it (o8esHstruggle! to
un!erstan!% Can , ho a( the result of the pastHcan , step out of ti(e5$
'rishna(urti aske!% &ou !o step out of ti(e hen you are 8itally intereste!%
&ou take a stri!eHnot chronologically but psychologicallyHin that ti(eless
eBistence%$
8
,n those early years 'rishna:i rarely posite! a position of !irect confrontation
ith the ,6$ the ego entity% /e ne8er aske! the Cuestion6 =ho a( ,5$G rather6 he
approache! the ,$ through negating the accretions6 the Cualities that coalesce! to
for( the ,$ an! gi8e it reality% #his negation6 the !issolution of the nature an!
Cualities6 Cuenche! the 8olition of thought through hich the ,$ as (anifest
an! through hich it perpetuate! itself% #he perception an! negation of all
psychological beco(ing as the en!ing of thought6 of ti(e6 an! of the ,$
principle%
Seeing the nature of (in! an! its structure an! the forces that operate! in
hu(an consciousness6 insights arose2 #he 8ery nature of the (in! an! thought
li(its us an! is the cause of our bon!age an! sorro% #o 'rishna(urti all efforts
to substitute or change at the le8el of content an! (eaning a (o8e(ent ithin
the fiel! of the opposites6 as at best a partial anser6 incapable of sol8ing the
eBtraor!inarily co(pleB an! pri(e8al urges that lay at the !epths of the (in!%
#he proble(s that face (an coul! en!6 not through i!eals that pro:ecte! a
gra!ual change of sorro into happiness6 gree! into lo8e6 but by a transfor(ation
in the nature of the groun! fro( hich sorro takes root% #he change or
transfor(ation6 therefore6 is not in Cuality or !egree6 but in nature6 structure6 an!
!i(ension%
As such6 'rishna(urti>s teaching altere! the 8ery !i(ensions of the hu(an
proble(% ,t concerne! itself ith a re8olution at the core of hu(an consciousness
an! the !isco8ery of a ne space*thought relationshipHso that (in!6 (o8ing in
a linear space*ti(e6 cause*effect !i(ension6 turne! back on itself an! a
si(ultaneity of sensory perception arose% #his si(ultaneity6 by its 8ery operation6
negate! any self*centere! entity% ,t aakene! ne capacities an! instru(ents of
enCuiry6 a ne energy as set into operation6 negating the li(itations%
,t is only truth that !econ!itions co(pletely6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #o percei8e
the truth6 there (ust be a focusing of attention% #his !oes not (ean turning aay
fro( !istraction% #here is no such thing as !istraction6 because life is a (o8e(ent
an! has to be un!erstoo! as a total process%$
9
' as a!!ressing an au!ience that for a century ha! been e!ucate! in
Anglish*speaking schools an! nurture! on =estern i!eals of !e(ocracy6 ith its
e(phasis on uni8ersal franchise an! an egalitarian society% #he principles on
hich the ,n!ian Constitution as being for(ulate! ere to lea! to a great
churning ithin all sectors of society% #he un!erpri8ilege! oul! sloly gro
aare of the poer they iel!e!% =ith this ca(e a rapi! transfor(ation an!
har!ening of class structures% Pressures ere to (ount in the years that lay ahea!%
#he ,n!ian (in!6 hel! in centuries of (yth6 sy(bol6 concern ith
otherness6$ as in the (i!*tentieth century colore! by the theories of the
,n!ian social philosophers of the nineteenth an! tentieth centuriesG rebelling
against the superstitions an! !arknesses that ha! ero!e! the ,n!ian psyche6 they
ha! a!opte! a 8eneer of =estern con!itioning to co8er the tu(ultuous centuries
of tra!ition% 7orces an! energies of the archaic past6 its is!o( an! its 8iolence6
lay !or(ant an! uneBplore!% =ith free!o(6 people looke! to lea!ers6 both
political an! religious6 to sho the ayG they coul! not co(prehen! the pace of
change an! the eBplosi8e forces that ere soon to shatter their tra!itional ays of
life an! their 8alues% 1e(an! for social change in ,n!ia generate! a lau!able
concern for the (ore$ in certain sectors of society% An! ithin an! integral to
this concern as a re!istribution of ealth% But6 ithin a !e(ocratic structure6
the thrust for the (ore$ coul! not be confine! to the legiti(ate nee!s of the
un!erpri8ilege!6 but saturate! the hu(an con!itionG ine8itably6 it le! to the
release of forces pre8iously kept in check by tra!itional relationships6 ith their
eBploitations but also ith their inherent responsibilities% 4inke! to this6
pressures ere generate! by a rapi!ly escalating population an! accelerate!
increase in (aterial har!are (a!e possible by a!8ances in technology% A
blatant shift to (aterial attitu!es an! 8alues as to saturate ,n!ian society an!
relationships% #he ne richHthe lan!lor! an! the in!ustrialistHthe e(erging
poer groups of the backar!6$ an! a rapi!ly groing antisocial organiDation
battle! for the postulates of ealth an! poer%
#he postar =est as also in tur(oil6 the ar ha! generate! 8ast resources
of (aterial an! scientific knole!ge6 an! technocrats traine! to create artifacts of
!estruction ha! to fin! ne a8enues for their skills% Cybernetics as soon to
co(e of age an! the tools of auto(ation ere taking shape on !raing boar!s%
By the en! of the 19+<s one coul! see the stirrings of hat as to co(e% At the
(aterial le8el6 (an see(e! rea!y to !o(inate the orl!Hall proble(s appeare!
soluble%
-ne conspicuous aspect of the postar pheno(enon as the pro!uction of
eapons of ar an! an a8alanche of consu(er goo!s Mcentral to econo(ies
geare! to aste*(akersN an! artifacts that ere built to beco(e obsolete% =ith it
ca(e an e(phasis on the creation of a rapi!ly escalating entertain(ent in!ustry6
ith artifacts an! ga!gets that ere to sa(p the (arkets an! the (in!s of (an6
o(an6 an! chil!%
,n 19+9 the i(pact on ,n!ia of the =est an! its eBplo!ing technologies as
still (ini(al% #he trau(a of partition an! its after(ath ha! shaken the
foun!ations of e8ery thinking person% But these ere only surface (ur(urs
hich re8eale! the chaos an! 8iolence that lay in the future% 'rishna(urti6 ith
the long 8ision of the seer6 sense! the seething unrest% /e as feeling his ay
into the lan!scape of ,n!ia6 !el8ing into the (in!s of (en an! o(en6
obser8ing6 Cuestioning6 probing the en8iron(ent6 laying his han!s on the
tensions an! conflicts that ere to corro!e (in! an! heart% #he house is
burning6$ he passionately tol! those ho listene!Hbut the intensity an! urgency
ere absent in those ho hear! hi(%
-ut of his passionate concern an! his 8ast perception ere born (a:or
insights central to the teaching%
3anHnot in the abstract6 but in the ,$6 the ego entity in his relationship to
anotherHcreates society an! the orl!% &ou are the orl!$ as a central tenet
of the teaching% Social an! political action can ne8er transfor( the orl! at its
roots unless the in!i8i!ual ra!ically transfor(s hi(self% Syste(s can ne8er
transfor( (an6 (an alays transfor(s the syste(6$ sai! '% =hen Cuestione! on
the helplessness of the single in!i8i!ual to change society an! the orl!6
'rishna(urti replie! that the roaring 8olu(e of ater that as the ;anga
1
in
floo!6 at its source as a single !rop6 an! that all (a:or actions that ha8e change!
(an ha! been born of a single hu(an being%
#he transfor(ation of the in!i8i!ual as not a gra!ual process%
#ransfor(ation as an i((e!iacyHit as the instant (an sa hi(self in the
(irror of relationshipHto (an6 nature6 an! to hi(self% Speaking of relationship6
'rishna(urti use! the (ost inti(ate eBa(ples2 the relation of husban! an! ifeG
e(ployer an! e(ploye!% #hough (any ho listene! ere trouble! by
'rishna(urti>s persistence in speaking of the hypocrisy that un!erlay these
relationships6 they ere to realiDe the truth of his insights% /e sai! that seeing$
ithout any (o8e(ent to !istort or change hat as seen is only possible hen
the !irection*gi8ing acti8ity of the seer has en!e!% #his is the instant of
transfor(ationG the birth of insights that in turn transfor( society an! gi8e birth
to a ne generation% ?eal transfor(ation is not the result of any re8olution of the
right or left6 but a re8olution fro( sensate 8alues to those 8alues that are not the
result of en8iron(ental influence%
,nbuilt into the i((e!iacy of transfor(ation ere 'rishna(urti>s insights
into ti(e% /e percei8e! that the co(ing to be$ an! the ceasing to be6$ or the
sapling groing into the banyan tree6 in8ol8ing linear ti(e6 are integral to the life
process% Anergy hel! in (atter an! sub:ect to the las of ti(e as an arro is
entropicHit has to !issipate6 !eteriorate6 an! en!% 'rishna(urti sai!6 #here is a
chronological ti(e an! ti(e of the (in!% #i(e hich is (in! itself% #here is
confusion beteen the to% Psychological ti(e is the process of beco(ing%$
1<
#his ti(e as beco(ing6 the , ill be6$ as born of illusion an! as a
(anifestation of the ,$G both self*sustaining an! self*energiDing6 (aintaining
an! supporting itself through its on ignorance an!6 by this process6 storing up
its on potential energy as consciousness% #his consciousness as percei8e! by
the in!i8i!ual through the operation of the senses%
1
#he ;anges ?i8er%
#he ,$ as the pro!uct of psychological ti(e6 (anifesting itself as thought6
coul! not act to transfor( or free itself% ,t as only through a negati8e approach6
the perception an! !enial of all psychological thoughtHas a !esire to change
hat is$ into hat shoul! be$Hthat there coul! be !irect perception of hat
is$ an! a free!o( fro( ti(e born of the psyche%
,n this state of percei8ing6 the (in! is not using thought to re8i8e itself% #here
is neither the thinker nor thought6 neither eBperiencer nor eBperience% #he (in!
that is caught in beco(ing is the pro!uct of ti(e6 hich has transfor(e! itself%
7ro( this approach6 arising out of the negation of the false as it arises6 e(erges
the great truth that seeing an! listening to the fact !irectlyHinnocently6 ithout
thought seeking to change or alter the fact6 a nonoperation of thought or ill on
the !eep roots of hate6 anger6 gree!6 fearH!issol8es the state% #here is a
transfor(ation in the nature of (atter as anger or fear an! the release of an
energy hel! in these states6 an energy untouche! by ti(e an!6 therefore6 not
sub:ect to its las% #his state is not relate! to6 nor is it the opposite of hate6 anger6
or fear% Posing the proble( in ter(s of the opposites6 as the i!eal6 is the trick
thought plays to self*perpetuate itselfG for the i!eal contains ithin itself the see!
of its on opposite% -nly a total6 nonfrag(ente! perception can negate both the
obser8er an! the obser8e!% #he seeing of hat is6$ is the transfor(ation of
hat is%$
#hought !i8i!es the (in! fro( the heart% #he (in!6 ith its roots in self*
intereste! acti8ity6 lea!s to an increase in (aterial 8alues an! the slo !rying of
these essences an! responses hich nourish hu(ankin!%
#he !enial of lo8e is the !estructi8e ten!ency in (an% ,t is only hen the
(in! rests in the heart an! self*centere! acti8ity is totally negate! that hu(anity
has its floering%
#he unlocking of the secrets of (in! an! the arising of insight ca(e naturally
to 'rishna(urti% #hus ith ease6 ith grace6 he coul! open the !oor an! say6
4ook% #ake% ,t is there6 hy !o you hesitate5$
,t as !uring the (onths in Bo(bay that !ialogue as a (a:or instru(ent of
eBploration into 'rishna:i>s teaching as born% #hrough the years it oul!
floer in subtlety an! insight% ,n the early years the group !iscussions ha! been
in the for( of Cuestion an! anser% #he precision an! percepti8e probing into
hi!!en !epths of the (in! as e8i!ent in !ialogue ere absent%
#he first !iscussions in Bo(bay in 19+8 ere confuse! an! !isperse!% A
Cuestion as aske! of '% /is flui! (in! took in the Cuestion an! turne! it back6
challenging the Cuestioner an! the group to seek the anser ithin the fiel! of
self*knoing% ' spoke sloly6 ith (any pauses6 ben!ing forar! as if each
response as for the first ti(e% /e listene! to his on responses ith the sa(e
openness an! recepti8ity as he !i! to the 8oice of the Cuestioner% #he energy of
'rishna:i>s response as (et by struggling (in!s6 battling ith confusion6
con!itione! to respon! fro( (e(ory an! to seek solution fro( a higher
authority6 inner or outer6 spiritual or te(poral% =e foun! 'rishna:i>s ay
!ifficult to co(prehen!% =e straine! to un!erstan! the or!s of 'rishna:i an! to
apply the( to our on (in!s% =e atte(pte! to approBi(ate6 to reach beyon! the
or! ith the only instru(ents of enCuiry a8ailableH(e(ory an! thought% But
these ere the 8ery instru(ents that ere being challenge!6 an! there as a
sense of beil!er(ent% #he clues ere (issing an! the (in!6 clinging to or!s6
as a battlefiel! of !espair an! conflict%
'rishna:i spoke o8er an! o8er again of the seeing of hat is6$ the real6 an!
not hat shoul! be6$ the illusionG of the nee! for (an to transfor( hi(self
before he coul! transfor( society6 for he is society% /e spoke of being free of
(e(oryG (e(ory that counteracts an! !istorts an! hin!ers un!erstan!ing of the
present6 (e(ory that is the ,$ consciousness6 an! of the nature of being$ an!
beco(ing%$ ,n the !iscussions 'rishna:i refuse! to gi8e an i((e!iate anser6
an easy solution% #o ' any reaction to a fun!a(ental Cuestion en!e! the probing
into the Cuestion% /e !e(an!e! an enCuiry6 a seeing an! penetration into the
Cuestion itselfG not as an outer !ual process6 but seeing both the nature of
response an! the groun! fro( hich the Cuestion an! anser arose% #o pause6 to
pon!er6 as the aakening of the listening$ an! seeing$ (in! that annihilates
the illusion of outer an! inner6 aakening a state that can !eal ith the Cuestion%
#he !iscussions procee!e! sloly% ' (o8e! fro( thought to thought6
pushing6 blocking6 retreating6 a!8ancing% ,n the 8ery (o8e(ent of this step*by*
step obser8ation of the (in!6 the thought process sloe! !on until6 in an
instant6 the perceptions of the participants aoke6 an! there as !irect contact of
perception ith (in! an! its fluB% #he first seeing$ of (in! as the starting
point of enCuiry% ,t as the clue that unra8ele! an! re8eale! an!6 in the 8ery
re8ealing6 illu(ine! the Cuestion an! the anser%
#he people ho in8estigate! ith ' ere !isco8ering the structure an! nature
of consciousness an! the i((ense strength an! resilience of the thinking process%
#o obser8e the (o8e(ent of the (in! caught in thought an! to see$ its on
ina!eCuacy ha! in it the eBcite(ent an! ae of !isco8ery6 of tra8eling uncharte!
terrain%
#hought hel! in its groo8es coul! not break through its on bon!age% By
!iscussion6 seeing6 obser8ing6 challenging6 an! !oubting6 the groo8es in hich
thought (o8e! an! the process of beco(ing as born ere being shattere!%
A ne (etho!ology born of seeing an! listening as unfol!ing6 ne
perceptions ere aakening% A groun! of obser8ing an! enCuiry as being
establishe!% #he energy generate! by the Cuestion as not per(itte! to !issipate
in the refleBi8e ansers an! responses that arose fro( the store house of
(e(ory% ' as challenging the (in!s of the participants% A8ery cell in the bo!y
an! (in! of ' as aake% /is relentless Cuestioning opene! up the psycheG an!
as the (uscle an! tone of the listeners strengthene!6 the (in! of ' in turn as
!eeply challenge!% ,n '>s 8ery challenging there arose rare insights into the
hu(an con!ition%
4ike an antenna6 '>s (in! reache! out to sense the (in!s of the participants%
=hen the !ialogue got bogge! !on or the group entere! into sterile !ialectics
an! the !iscussion as barren6 '>s (in! oul! take a leap6 carrying the
!iscussion out of its rut% /e brought into the !iscussion the nature of lo8e6 !eath6
fear an! sorroG feelings an! situations that ere of the skin an! heartG an!
su!!enly the !iscussion oul! co(e in !irect6 tactile contact ith the proble(%
#he breakthrough in the !iscussions began one (orning in 19+8 hen ?ao
Sahib Patar!han sai! that the i!eals an! beliefs that ha! carrie! hi( through the
political struggle ha! cru(ble! un!er hi(% /e as face! ith a blank all an!
felt that the ti(e ha! co(e for hi( to reeBa(ine his fun!a(ental beliefs% #hen he
turne! to 'rishna:i an! aske! hi( hat he (eant by creati8e thinking%$
'rishna:i6 ho ha! been sitting Cuietly6 listening intently to ?ao Sahib6 sprang to
his feet an! sat !on neBt to hi(% 4eaning forar!6 he sai!6 1o you ant to go
into it6 Sir6 an! see hether you cannot eBperience the state of creati8e thinking
no5$ ?ao as perpleBe! an! looke! at '6 unable to co(prehen! hat he as
saying%
/o !oes one think5$ ' began% ?ao respon!e!6 A proble( arises6 an! to
(eet the proble( thoughts arise%$
' aske!6 /o !o you try to sol8e a proble(5$ 7in! out an anser6$ sai!
?ao%
/o can you fin! an anser an! ho !o you kno that it is the right
anser5 Surely you cannot see the hole content of the proble(Hho can then
your anser be the right one5$
,f , !o not fin! the right anser the first ti(e6 , try other ays of fin!ing it6$
ansere! ?ao%
But hate8er ay you try to fin! an anser it ill only be a partial anser6
an! you ant a co(plete anser% /o then ill you fin! a co(plete anser5$ '
as blocking all (o8e(ents of the (in!Hrefusing to !efuse the energy hel! in
the Cuestion%
,f , cannot see the proble( co(pletely6 , cannot fin! the right anser6$ ?ao
respon!e!%
So you are no longer looking for an anser%$
@o%$
&ou ha8e shut off all the a8enues seeking an anser%$
&es%$
=hat is the state of your (in! hen it is no longer looking for an anser5$
3y on (in! as Cuite blank6 but this as not hat he as getting at% =e
ere (issing so(ething%
11
1uring a !iscussion a fe !ays later6 ' spoke of (e(ory as the ,$
consciousness6 the factor that !istorts an! hin!ers un!erstan!ing of the present%
/e separate! factual (e(ory fro( psychological (e(oryHthe ,$ ill be6 ,$
shoul! be% #hen he aske!6 Can e li8e ithout psychological (e(ory5$
#he !iscussion procee!e! sloly6 an! , lost interest% 3y (in! !arte! aay in
pursuit of so(e !esire% #he (ore , trie! to concentrate on the sub:ect6 the (ore
restless the (in! gre% , as so !isguste! that , let it roa(% Soon , foun! that it
settle! !on6 an! for the first ti(e that (orning , listene! to hat as being
sai!% Professor Chubb of Alphinstone College ha! entere! into an argu(ent6 an!
, listene!% Coul! (e(ory !rop aay5 , aske! (yself% , !i! not ant to be free of
the ,$ principle% , ha! built it up so carefullyG hy shoul! , be free of it5 , oul!
be lost%
#hen , felt curious to fin! out hether one coul! !rop (e(ory% #here as an
i((e!iate clarity% , starte! atching the (in!% ' as saying6 =hat can you !o6
Sirs5 &ou are face! ith a blank all% &ou can>t :ust lea8e it6 you ha8e to !o
so(ething%$ ,n a flash , spoke2 1rop (e(ory%$ Su!!enly6 (y (in! as clear% '
looke! straight at (e% #he clarity !eepene!%
;o on6$ he sai!% =hat is the state of your (in! hen you !rop (e(ory5$ ,t
as as if the fifty people ere gone6 an! there ere :ust ' an! ,% 3y (in! is
still6$ , sai!% Su!!enly6 , felt itHa Cuality so potent6 so fleBible6 so sift an!
ali8e% /e s(ile! an! sai!6 4ea8e it6 go slo6 !on>t tra(ple it%$ #he others trie!
to inter8ene to get at hat , ha! eBperience!6 but ' sai!6 4ea8e it alone6 it is so
!elicate6 !on>t strangle it%$ =hen , left the (eeting he ca(e to the !oor ith (e
an! sai!6 &ou (ust co(e an! see (e6 e (ust talk of it%$ , ha! the feeling (y
(in! ha! been ashe! clean%
As the intensity an! clarity generate! in the !ialogue beca(e e8i!ent6 e
ere eager to continue% An! on !ays hen public talks ere not hel!6 e (et
an! !iscusse! ith '% 3ost of the Cuestions that arose concerne! the urgency of
ethical action in the (i!st of a chaotic society6 an! it as only later that the
fun!a(ental hu(an proble(sHen8y6 a(bition6 fear6 sorro6 !eath6 ti(e6 an! the
agony of beco(ing an! not achie8ingHere to surface an! fin! eBpression%
,n later years ' rote6 #o be still after tilling an! soing6 is to gi8e birth to
creation%$
1.
As the !iscussions procee!e! through the years6 8arious analytical enCuiries
ere (a!eG tentati8e an! eBploratory% =e Cuestione! ithout seeking i((e!iate
solutionG rather6 e !e8elope! a step*by*step obser8ation of the process of
thought an! its unfol!(entHpenetration an! ith!raal6 e8ery (o8e(ent
plunging attention !eeper an! !eeper into the recesses of the (in!% A !elicate6
or!less co((unication took placeG an eBposure of the (o8e(ent of negation as
it (et the positi8e (o8e(ent of thought% #here as the seeing$ of fact6 of hat
is6$ the releasing of energy hel! in hat is6$ hich is the (utation of hat is%$
#his as again percei8e! fro( 8arious !irections to eBa(ine its 8ali!ity%
#he nature of !uality an! non!uality ere re8eale! in si(ple language% ,n
that state of CuestioningHa state here the Cuestioner6 the eBperiencer has
cease!Hin a flash truth$ as re8eale!% ,t as a state of total nonthought6 the
en!ing of !uality% At the en! of the !iscussion (any of us felt as if our (in!s ha!
been freshly bathe!%
,n later years ' as to say of these !iscussions6 #he (in! hich is the
8essel of (o8e(ent6 hen the (o8e(ent has no for(6 no O(e>6 no 8ision6 no
i(age6 it is co(pletely Cuiet% ,n it there is no (e(ory% #hen the brain cells
un!ergo a change% #he brain cells are use! to (o8e(ent in ti(e% #hey are the
resi!ue of ti(e an! ti(e is (o8e(entG a (o8e(ent ithin the space hich it
creates as it (o8es%%% =hen there is no (o8e(ent6 there is tre(en!ous focus of
energy% So (utation is the un!erstan!ing of (o8e(ent6 an! the en!ing of
(o8e(ent in the brain cells the(sel8es%$
10
#he re8elation of the instant of (utation of hat is$ pro8i!e! a totally ne
!i(ension to the hole fiel! of intellectual an! religious enCuiry%
&ears later , sai! to 'rishna:i6 /a8ing a personal !iscussion ith you6 one is
eBpose! to a nothingness% ,t is like facing so(ething totally e(pty% #here is
nothing eBcept Ohat is> as reflecte! in oneself% &ou thro back on the person
eBactly Ohat is%> $
' replie!6 #hat is hat Al!ous use! to say% But hen ' thros back6 it is
yours%$
CHAPTER 11
;o an! 3ake 7rien!s
ith the #rees%$
,n early April 19+8 'rishna:i returne! to 3a!ras% /e staye! at Fasant Fihar6 the
official hea!Cuarters of 'rishna:i>s ork in ,n!ia% ?% 3a!ha8achari as his host%
Fasant Fihar as a soli! colonial buil!ing ith pillars an! 8eran!asG the
!oors6 in!os6 an! furniture ere of rich Bur(a teak% -n the groun! floor6 the
house ha! an office an! a large roo( for (eetings6 but 8ery fe be!roo(sHit
ha! been !eliberately built so that fe people coul! li8e there% Although he ha! a
suite of roo(s on the groun! floor of the house6 'rishna:i slept on a co8ere!
8eran!a% /e ga8e inter8ies in a roo( that face! the front lan6 an! public
!iscussions ere hel! un!er the trees% #he house as surroun!e! by banyan6
(ango6 an! rain treesG floering bersali6 cassia6 gul (ohar6 an! laburnu( ga8e
fragrance an! color to the 8arie! greensG an! near the gate as an artificial lake
fille! ith ater lilies%
3a!ha8achari as an austere Brah(in6 a folloer of the 3a!ha8a sect% /e
as nai8e6 !e8ote!6 obstinate6 an! steepe! in a (onu(ental tra!ition% 1ark6 ith
the s(ooth6 unrinkle! skin that co(es fro( nu(erous South ,n!ian oil baths6
an! ith a lean upright bo!y6 he ha! a presence6 his face ra!iate! strength an!
beauty% But beneath his austere outer appearance6 in later years e ere to
!isco8er a 8ery hu(an person% /e coul! chuckle ith (y husban! at rather
risCuJ stories6 an! ha! a nu(ber of anec!otes of his early life%
'rishna:i ha! been !iscussing ith San:ee8a ?ao an! 3a!ha8achari the
possibility of starting a (agaDine ith San:ee8a ?ao6 3aurice 7rie!(an6 an!
(yself as e!itors% ,n his first letter to (e !ate! April 186 19+86 he rote fro(
3a!ras2
3y !ear Pupul6
Since the (ountain ill not co(e to 3uha(a! etc%
, rote to @an!ini6 , think it as yester!ay6 telling her that (y host has aske! you I
@an!ini to stop here for a !ay or to before going up to -oty% , hope you both ill% #hen e
can tra8el together to -otyG e can lea8e here about the 1st of 3ay%
,f you accept 3r% 3a!ha8achari>s in8itation6 hich , hope you both ill6 then before going
to -oty6 a ne :ob hich e got for youQQ , hope you ill like the :ob% Joking apart6 , oul!
like to talk o8er ith you I a fe others so(ething hich e ha8e been talking o8er here% #hey
ha8e been talking o8er ith (e the starting of a (agaDine6 ith you6 7rie!(an6 San:ee8a ?ao as
coe!itors% ,t soun!s for(i!able but it is serious% =e can talk it o8er hen you co(e here% Please
let us kno hen you I @an!ini can co(e% ,f you can co(e a couple of !ays before the 1st of
3ay6 it ill gi8e us an opportunity to talk o8er the (atter%
, hope you I fa(ily are ell% Please gi8e (y lo8e to the(%
=ith (uch affection6
J% 'rishna(urti
, ha! ne8er seen 3a!ras6 an! so !eci!e! to go% @an!ini ulti(ately persua!e!
her husban! to agree that she coul! acco(pany (e% -n our arri8al e ere (et
by 'rishna:i an! 3a!ha8achari6 ho ere ar( an! affectionate in their
elco(e% ,n the e8ening e ent ith 3a!ha8achari to the #heosophical
Society an! the ;ar!en of ?e(e(brance6 the groun!s here Annie Besant ha!
been cre(ate!Hher samadhi% 'rishna:i !i! not co(e ith us% Since his break
fro( the #heosophical Society6 he ha! not 8isite! the estate in A!yar% #he break
ith the Society as co(plete%
=e brought a hite lily back fro( Annie Besant>s samadhi6 an! ga8e it to
'rishna:i% /e took it in his to han!s an! hel! it% =e coul! see he as !eeply
(o8e!% 4ater e ent ith hi( for a alk on the A!yar beach% /e alke! aay
fro( us6 his hite*garbe! bo!y erect6 elongate!6 his long ar(s by his si!e% -n his
return his !eep blue*black eyes ere !istant6 his face appeare! eBalte!% =hen e
reache! ho(e he aske! 3a!ha8achari Mho( he a!!resse! as Mama6 uncle$N6
=hat ere the gongs , hear! last nightHto long an! one short5 #hey ere
(ar8elous%$ 3a!ha8achari as puDDle!6 sai! he ha! hear! no gongs an! !i! not
kno fro( here the soun!s ha! co(e% 'rishna:i insiste! that he hear!
eBtraor!inary soun!s% ' ent to his roo( an! ca(e out ithin a fe (inutes to
say he ha! foun! out about the gongs% ,t appeare! that the !eep6 resonant soun!
as pro!uce! by to fans orking together% 'rishna:i as in an ecstatic state6
his han!s beat ti(e to the resonance% /e har!ly spoke right through !inner6
hich e ate on thais6 hile sitting on (ats on the floor%
1
4ate at night e oke to the soun! of 'rishna:i>s 8oice calling fro( the
8eran!a here he slept% /is 8oice soun!e! frail6 an! e ere beil!ere! an!
thought he as ill% After a great !eal of hesitation6 e ent to the !ooray that
le! to the 8eran!a an! aske! hi( hether he as unell% 'rishna:i as calling
for so(ebo!y6 his 8oice as fragile an! chil!like% /e kept on saying6 'rishna
has gone aay6 hen ill he be back5$ /is eyes ere open6 but there as no
recognition% #hen he see(e! to gro aare of us an! aske!6 Are you
?osalin!5$ An! then6 -h6 yes6 yes6 he knos about you6 it is all right6 please sit
here6 ait here%$ #hen again after a little hile6 1on>t lea8e the bo!y alone an!
!on>t be afrai!%$ #he 8oice starte! calling for 'rishna$ again% /is han! oul!
co8er his (outh an! he oul! say6 /e has sai! not to call hi(%$ #hen in the
8oice of a chil!6 =hen ill he be back5 =ill he co(e back soon5$ #his ent on
for a hileG he oul! be Cuiet6 then shout for 'rishna6$ then chi!e hi(self%
After about an hour his 8oice beca(e :oyful% /e is back6 !o you see the(5
#hey are here6 spotless%$ /is han!s eBpresse! a fullness% An! then the 8oice
change!6 it as again the fa(iliar 8oice of 'rishna:i% /e sat up6 apologiDing for
ha8ing kept us aake% /e sa us to our roo( an! left% #he strangeness of it all
beil!ere! usG e ere !aDe! an! !i! not sleep all night% @eBt (orning at
breakfast he looke! fresh an! young% =e Cuestione! hi( as to hat ha!
1
Thais2 roun! (etal plates on hich foo! is ser8e! in tra!itional ,n!ian househol!s% #he thai can be
(a!e of sil8er6 of stainless steel6 of stone% 4ittle roun! bols ith 8arious 8egetables an! lentils are
place! on the thai6 hile rice an! rotis or hole heat brea! are place! on the thai itself%
happene!% /e laughe! an! sai! he !i! not kno% Coul! e !escribe hat ha!
happene!5 =e !i! so% /e sai! e oul! talk about it so(e ti(e6 hich by then
e ha! co(e to un!erstan! (eant that he !i! not ish to !iscuss the (atter
further% #he neBt !ay e returne! to Bo(bay%
#ensions an! the o(inous threat of ar in Aurope altere! 'rishna:i>s plans
for the su((er% ,t as !eci!e! that he oul! not return to Aurope an! the "nite!
States6 but oul! rest in ,n!ia !uring 3ay an! June% 3iss /illa Petit an!
3aurice 7rie!(an ere his hosts% 3iss Petit ha! rente! Se!ge(ore6 a house in
-otaca(un!H-oty6 e calle! itHa hill station in the @ilgiris situate! at a
height of eight thousan! feet% #he hill stations in ,n!ia6 ith their lush forests6
sha!y alks6 bri!le paths6 an! eBCuisitely tailore! gar!ens6 ha! been planne! to
create the a(bience of the British countrysi!e% #he British create! these syl8an
retreats to escape the heat of the long su((er on the plains%
,n 19+8 these hill stations ha! still not been ,n!ianiDe!% #he cottages an!
large bungalos nestle! a(ongst trees an! o8erlooke! e(eral! green (ea!osG
il!floers6 !aisies6 forget*(e*nots6 an! !an!elions blosso(e! ith unobtrusi8e
elegance in the grass6 an! pine6 eucalyptus6 an! arecanut trees !ensely co8ere!
the hillsi!es% #his as un!ulating country6 ith none of the rugge! rocks an!
gorges of the @orthern /i(alayas% #he gar!ens that surroun!e! the houses ere
resplen!ent ith roses6 fuchsias6 poppies6 an! pansies% Cli(bing roses an!
isteria co8ere! the ol! house alls%
#he in!o in 'rishna:i>s be!roo( o8erlooke! a !ense gro8e of sil8er*green
eucalyptusG branches an! lea8es intertine! to for( a canopy of slen!er*trunke!
trees rising 8ertically to the sky% Shanta ?ao6 a close frien! of 7rie!(an>s6 ha!
co(e fro( 3a!ras an! as also li8ing in the house%
'rishna:i rote to @an!ini an! (e to :oin hi( in -otaca(un!% =e ha! :ust
returne! fro( seeing hi( in 3a!ras% 4ooking back6 it appears inco(prehensible
that 'rishna:i !i! not consi!er for a (o(ent hether it as possible6 hether the
(oney for the :ourney an! stay in -oty as forthco(ing6 hether @an!ini coul!
get per(ission to co(e% , as free to tra8el ithin the constraints of (y not 8ery
affluent finances6 but ith @an!ini the situation as entirely !ifferent% /er
estrange(ent fro( her husban! as !eepeningG though her husban! an! his
fa(ily ere Cuite ealthy6 they ere ortho!oB an! 8ery conser8ati8e% @an!ini
ha! no in!epen!ent (eans of her on%
But it ha! been alays so ith 'rishna:i% -nce a necessity arose ithin hi(
an! as eBpresse!6 it happene!Hall hin!rances ere sur(ountable% An! so
@an!ini6 her chil!ren6 her father*in*la6 Sir Chunilal 3ehta6 an! , ith (y
!aughter ?a!hika arri8e! in -otaca(un! in the thir! eek of 3ay% Ja(na!as
1arka!as as to :oin us in -otaca(un! a fe !ays later% =e foun! that
'rishna:i ha! reco8ere! fro( an illness an! ha! gron a bear! hile he reste! in
be!% ,t as col!6 an! 'rishna:i ore a long6 floing &hoga of natural tus ool%
1
1
Choga2 A loose oolen or silk coat ith one button in front% ,t is orn by (en o8er ,n!ian gar(ents6 as
protection fro( col!%
Tus2 7ine han!spun oolen fabric% Spun fro( the ool of sheep that graDe at a height of o8er eight
thousan! feet6 it is o8en by fa(ilies of tra!itional ea8ers in Srinagar6 'ash(ir% A siB*yar!*long shal
of tus can be pulle! through a finger*ring%
#he large penetrating eyes6 bear!e! face6 an! long robes ga8e hi( a biblical
appearance%
=e ent ith hi( for long alks6 taking shortcuts through the pines% /e
alke! lithely up 8ertical slopes an! it as !ifficult to keep pace ith hi(% ,t as
the season before the rains6 the forests ere opaCue ith rising (ists% =e alke!
ith 'rishna(urti6 entering enchante! oo!s here trees shrou!e! in rising
clou!s turne! incan!escent6 as sunlight touche! the(6 to !issol8e as (ists close!
in% -n one occasion6 cli(bing up a steep path through the pine trees6 e ca(e on
three o(en alking carefully !onhill6 balancing hea8y loa!s of oo! on their
hea!s% 'rishna:i stoo! to one si!e an! atche! e8ery (o8e(ent the o(en
(a!e as they passe! hi(% Su!!enly6 one felt itHa co(passion e(anating fro(
hi(6 a ten!er attention an! energy that ipe! aay the bur!ens of the o(en
ho passe!6 ne8er knoing hat (a!e their loa!s lighter%
-ne !ay6 on a alk through the pines6 he aske! (e ho , (et people% , !i!
not kno hat he (eant6 an! sai! so% As e passe! a #o!a patriarch an! his
!aughter6 he sai! again6 /o !o you (eet people5 4ook at these #o!as passing
usHthat ol! (an ith his bear!6 an! the young girl ith her stripe! shal% =hat
is your response to the(5$ , sai! that hen , see the( , think of hat they once
ere% -nce their tribe rule! in the @ilgiri hills% #hey ere the kings of this lan!6
an! no they are poor an!erers6 graDing cattle an! clustering in s(all gla!es%
/e sai!6 Surely6 if you ant to un!erstan! the(6 you !o not see the( through
your thoughts2 =hy aren>t you :ust aare of the( passi8ely6 ith alertness5 =hy
are you not sensiti8e to the(5$ 4ater6 as e ere returning ho(e6 he turne! to
(e an! sai! ith a tinkle in his eye6 ;o an! (ake frien!s ith the trees%$
Although 'rishna(urti as resting an! in retreat6 the nes of his presence in
-otaca(un! ha! sprea! rapi!ly%
Jaaharlal @ehru6 no the pri(e (inister of ,n!ia6 as in -otaca(un!6 an! ,
got a (essage fro( his secretary that the pri(e (inister oul! like to call on
'rishna(urti% But the proble(s of arranging for security ere foun! to be
tireso(e6 an! so 'rishna:i ent to see hi( instea! at ;o8ern(ent /ouse%
3aurice 7rie!(an an! , acco(panie! hi(6 an! ere present !uring the (eeting
in the pri(e (inister>s pri8ate sitting roo(% #here as an open fire6 an! large
bols of carnations ere place! on the tables% 'rishna:i an! @ehru sat on a sofa
facing the fire6 hile 7rie!(an an! , sat on chairs on the si!e of the sofa% #he
fla(es lit the to noble Brah(inic hea!s6 their chaste6 finely !ran facesHone
fro( the @orthern highlan!s6 the other born a(ongst the (ost ancient Southern
rocks of An!hra% #he faces ere sculpture!6 sensiti8e6 ith fine translucent skin
that accentuate! the bones an! heightene! (obilityHthe eyes of the seer
enco(passing 8ast !istances6 e(anating co(passion an! silenceG the other ith
the sift6 ner8ous energy of an arro% @ehru as a ro(antic6 a (an of action6
ith a highly culti8ate! intellectG concerne!6 co((itte!6 restless6 seeking the
unknon ithin the tangle of political a!:ust(ents%
Both (en ere shy6 hesitant% ,t took so(e ti(e for the( to establish contact%
Jaaharlal @ehru starte! the con8ersation by saying that he ha! (et 'rishna:i
(any years earlier6 an! that he ha! often thought of hat he ha! sai!% /e ha!
been anBious to (eet 'rishna(urti again% Achyut Patar!han an! other frien!s
ha! spoken to @ehru at length on the profoun! ork 'rishna(urti as !oing in
3a!ras an! Bo(bay% @ehru appeare! anguishe! at the (assacres an! 8iolence
that ha! erupte! after partition an! in!epen!ence% /e spoke of it at lengthG he
sa the to forces operating in ,n!ia6 the thrust for goo! an! e8il% #hese forces
ere in conflictG if the goo! coul! not contain the sprea! of e8il6 the orl! oul!
perish% 'rishna(urti sai! goo! an! e8il ere alays presentG hile it as (ore
!ifficult for the goo! an! the co(passionate to function6 e8il as aiting for a
crack in hich it coul! gain a foothol!% ,t nee!e! a great aakeness an!
aareness to ensure that e8il coul! not enter an! gain strength% #o be aake an!
aare6 sai! '6 as hat oul! sustain (an%
Jaaharlal @ehru aske! 'rishna(urti hether his teaching ha! change! o8er
the years since they ha! last (et% 'rishna:i sai! it ha!6 but he coul! not say
eBactly here an! ho% @ehru then spoke of hat 'rishna(urti ha! to say on
transfor(ation% /e felt there ere to ays in hich transfor(ation coul! be
acco(plishe!% By the in!i8i!ual transfor(ing hi(self an! so transfor(ing his
en8iron(ent6 an! by the en8iron(ent orking on an! transfor(ing the
in!i8i!ual% At this 'rishna(urti inter8ene!6 ,sn>t that the sa(e5 #he to coul!
not be sai! to be separate processes%$ @ehru agree!% /e as groping6 trying to
eBpress the !esperation he felt at the state of the chaos in the orl! an! hat ha!
happene! in ,n!ia in recent (onths% ;reatly trouble! an! not knoing hich
ay to turn6 he starte! to Cuestion in !epth his on thoughts an! actions%
#ell (e6 sir6$ he aske! 'rishna:i6 , ish to be clear of this confusion ithin
(e% #ell (e hat is right action an! hat is right thought%$ #o us ho listene! it
as the perennial Cuestion of the aake ,n!ian (in!%
#here as silence for o8er three (inutes% =e ere !isco8ering that the
silences that surroun!e! 'rishna:i in !ialogue for(e! part of co((unicationG a
silence of the (in! in hich !istances beteen the (in!s !i(inishe! so that
there as !irect (in!*to*(in! contact an! co((unication%
#hen 'rishna(urti spoke sloly6 pausing at e8ery or!% ?ight action is only
possible hen the (in! is silent an! there is a seeing of Ohat is%> Action that
arises fro( this seeing is free of (oti8e6 of the past6 free of thought an! cause%$
/e then sai! that it as !ifficult to go into this 8ast proble( in a short ti(e%
Jaaharlal @ehru as listening !eeply6 his (in! appeare! fresh an! sensiti8e6
capable of recei8ing an! respon!ing% 'rishna:i leane! forar!6 his han!s
eloCuent% /e sai! that ith the groing chaos in ,n!ia an! the orl!6 (an coul!
only start the process of regeneration ith hi(self% /e ha! to begin ane% 7or the
orl! to be sa8e!6 a fe in!i8i!uals ha! to free the(sel8es of the factors that
ere corrupting an! !estroying the orl!% #hey ha! !eeply to transfor(
the(sel8es6 to think creati8ely an! so transfor( further people% ,t as fro( the
ashes that the ne ha! to rise% 4ike PhoeniB fro( the ashes6$ sai! @ehru%
&es6$ replie! 'rishna:i6 for there to be life there (ust be !eath% #he
ancients un!erstoo! this an! that is hy they orshippe! life6 lo8e6 an! !eath%$
'rishna:i then spoke of the chaos of the orl! being a pro:ection of
in!i8i!ual chaos% #he hu(an (in! caught in the past6 in ti(e as thought6 as a
!ea! (in!% Such a (in! coul! not operate on chaos6 coul! only a!! to the
confusion% 3an ha! to free hi(self fro( ti(e as beco(ing6 the pro:ection into
the to(orro% /e ha! to act in the no$ an! so transfor( hi(self%
#he seer an! the hero politician spoke for o8er an hour an! a half% #he
e8ening sky ha! !arkene! an! the e8ening star ha! sunk behin! the horiDon6
hen e ca(e out of the roo(% #he pri(e (inister sa us to the car an! there
as affection an! grace in the parting% #hey pro(ise! to (eet again in the
inter6 hen 'rishna:i as to be in 1elhi% 4ater 'rishna:i6 ho rote in a
notebook e8ery !ay6 recor!e! these obser8ations2
/e as a 8ery fa(ous politician6 realistic6 intensely sincere an! ar!ently patriotic% @either
narro (in!e! nor self*seeking6 his a(bition as not for hi(self6 but for an i!ea an! for the
people% /e as not a (ere eloCuent tub*thu(per or 8ote*catcherG he ha! suffere! for his cause
an!6 strangely6 as not bitterG he see(e! (ore of a scholar than a politician% But politics as the
breath of his life an! party obeye! hi(6 though rather ner8ously% /e as a !rea(er6 but he ha!
put all that asi!e for politics%
1
#oar! the en! of 3ay certain inci!ents occurre! hich cast light on the
secret (ystical life of 'rishna(urti%
,n August 19.. in -:ai6 hen 'rishna:i as un!ergoing 8iolent aakening6
he ha! to truste! frien!s ith hi(% #his as so on (ost such occasions in his
life6 an! the e(phasis on the to people is not acci!ental% 7ro( 'rishna:i>s early
years6 Annie Besant ha! insiste! that to people be ith 'rishna:i all the ti(e6 to
protect the bo!y% #he protection of the bo!y of the sage hen it is un!ergoing
(ystical processes of (utation an! transference of consciousness6 as !eeply
roote! in ,n!ian (ystical tra!ition% #he bo!y at this ti(e is i((ensely sensiti8e6
8ulnerable6 an! e(pty of all ego sense%
,n the ,n!us Falley there is a pictograph in hich the seer6 sitting cross*
legge! in (e!itation6 is flanke! by to uprising cobras% ,n an i(age of the instant
of creation6 a plant sprouting fro( a o(an>s o(b has to ra(pant tigers
protecting the (o(ent of (ystery% A legen! !escribes the bo!y of A!i
Sankaracharya Mthe eBponent of A!8aita an! the repute! foun!er of the A!8aita
Fe!antic school of philosophyN hen it lay in the A(arnath ca8e in 'ash(ir%
7or so(e ti(e the bo!y lay e(pty6 for Sankaracharya ha! taken o8er the bo!y of
a king6 so that ithout !estroying the innocence of his on bo!y6 he coul!
eBperience seB an! fatherhoo! an! so anser the challenge of Shar!a6 the ife of
3a!an 3isra of 3ahish(ati ho ha! challenge! the great Acharya in !iscussion
at Faranasi% =hile the bo!y lay !efenseless in A(arnath6 to of Sankaracharya>s
!isciples ten!e! it an! sa that it ca(e to no har(% #he nee! to protect the bo!y
ha! been the (ain an! perhaps the only function of those present hile 'rishna:i
un!erent enor(ous transfor(ations of energy that opene! up the pre8iously
nonoperati8e areas of the brain% #o gi8e any other significance to 'rishna:i>s
relationship to these people6 as (ay ha8e been clai(e!6 is not 8ali!% #he only
8ali! point is that they ere people ho( 'rishna:i truste!6 ho oul! see that
no har( ca(e to the bo!y6 an! ho abo8e all oul! ha8e no strong e(otional
reactions6 fear or otherise6 to hat took place%
#he inci!ents at -oty eBten!e! o8er a perio! of three eeks6 fro( aroun!
3ay .8 or .9 19+8 to June .<% #hey took place in 'rishna:i>s roo( at
Se!ge(oor% 3y sister @an!ini an! , ere present% ,t as e(barrassing for
@an!ini an! (e% 3aurice 7rie!(an ha! un!oubte!ly eBplaine! to Shanta ?ao
an! 3iss Petit so(ething of hat as happening6 fa(iliar as he as ith the
secret (ystical tra!itions of the sages of this lan!% Anyay6 there as nothing e
coul! !o%
,t began on an e8ening hen 'rishna:i ha! been for a alk ith us% /e
starte! to say that he as not feeling ell6 an! coul! e go ho(e% =hen e
aske! hether he ante! to see a !octor6 he sai!6 @o6 it is not that%$ /e oul!
not eBplain further% =hen e got ho(e he ent to his roo(6 telling 7rie!(an
that on no account as he to be !isturbe!G but he aske! @an!ini an! (e to co(e
into the roo(% /e close! the !oor an! then tol! us not to be afrai!6 hate8er
happene!6 an! on no account to call a !octor% /e aske! us both to sit Cuietly an!
atch hi(% #here as to be no fear% =e ere not to speak to hi(6 not to re8i8e
hi(6 but to close his (outh if he fainte!% -n no account ere e to lea8e the
bo!y alone%
Although , ha! been sept aay by (y (eeting ith '6 , ha! a skeptical
(in! an! obser8e! 8ery intently the e8ents as they took place%
'rishna:i appeare! to be in eBtre(e pain% /e co(plaine! of se8ere toothache
an! an intense pain at the nape of the neck6 the cron of the hea!6 an! in the
spine%
,n the (i!st of the pain he oul! say6 #hey are cleansing the brain6 oh6 so
co(pletely6 e(ptying it%$ At other ti(es he oul! co(plain of great heat6 an! his
bo!y oul! perspire profusely% #he intensity of the pain 8arie! as !i! the area
here it as concentrate!% At ti(es the pain as locate! in the hea!6 in the tooth6
the nape of the neck6 or the spine% At other ti(es he groane! an! hel! his
sto(ach% @othing relie8e! the painG it ca(e an! ent at ill%
=hen the process as operating6 the bo!y lying on the be! appeare! a shellG
only a bo!y consciousness appeare! to be present% ,n this state the 8oice as
frail6 chil!like% #hen su!!enly the bo!y fille! ith a soaring presence% 'rishna:i
oul! sit up cross*legge!6 his eyes close!6 the fragile bo!y oul! appear to gro
an! his presence oul! fill the roo(G there as a palpable6 throbbing silence an!
an i((ense strength that poure! into the roo( an! en8elope! us% ,n this state the
8oice ha! great 8olu(e an! !epth%
After the first e8ening he starte! going for a alk alone in the e8enings an!
use! to ask @an!ini an! (e to co(e later to the house% ,n the beginning the
eBperiences starte! at 6 P%3% an! ere o8er by 820< P%3%6 but later they so(eti(es
ent on until (i!night% -n !ays hen he ha! to (eet people MJaaharlal @ehru6
for instanceN6 nothing happene!% #oar! the en! the perio!s gre longer6 an! on
one occasion ent on all night% -n no occasion !i! he speak of !irt or eBpress a
!esire to lea8e the roo( as he ha! !one at -:ai6 though Se!ge(oor as not
particularly cleanG nor !i! he speak of !isturbing thoughts% -n one occasion he
aske! @an!ini to hol! his han!6 as otherise he oul! slip aay an! not co(e
back%
=hile he as in the (i!st of the or!eal6 his bo!y oul! toss on the be!% /e
oul! ha8e fits of shi8ering6 oul! call out for 'rishna6 an! then put his han! to
his (outh an! say6 , (ust not call hi(%$
RRRRRRR
May 78# 10122
1
'rishna(urti as getting rea!y to go for a alk hen
su!!enly he sai! he as feeling too eak an! not all there% /e sai!6 =hat a pain
, ha8e%$ /e caught the back of his hea! an! lay !on% =ithin a fe (inutes the
'rishna:i e kne as not there% 7or to hours e sa hi( go through intense
pain% /e sai! he ha! a pain in the back of his neck6 his tooth as troubling hi(6
his sto(ach as sollen an! har!6 an! he groane! an! presse! !on% At ti(es
he oul! shout% /e fainte! a nu(ber of ti(es% =hen he ca(e to6 the first ti(e6
he sai!6 Close (y (outh hen , faint%$
/e kept on saying2 A((aHoh6 ;o!6 gi8e (e peace% , kno hat they are
up to% Call hi( back% , kno hen the li(it of pain is reache!6 they ill return%
#hey kno ho (uch the bo!y can stan!% ,f , beco(e a lunatic6 look after (eH
not that , ill beco(e a lunatic% #hey are 8ery careful ith the bo!y% , feel so
ol!% -nly a bit of (e is functioning% , a( like an ,n!ia rubber toy6 hich a chil!
plays ith% ,t is the chil! that gi8es it life%$
/is face throughout the occurrence as orn an! racke! ith pain% /e kept
clenching his fists an! tears strea(e! fro( his eyes% After to hours6 he fainte!
again% =hen he ca(e to6 he sai!2 #he pain has !isappeare!% 1eep insi!e (e ,
kno hat has happene!% , ha8e been soake! ith gasoline% #he tank is full%$
/e then sai! he oul! speak so that he oul! not think of the pain insi!e
hi(% /a8e you seen the sun an! the soft clou!s hea8y ith rain5 #hey pass o8er
the sun an! then the rain co(es !on ith a roar on the earth that aits like an
open o(b% ,t ashes clean% A8ery floer6 e8ery leaf% #here is fragrance6 a
neness% #hen the clou!s pass an! the sun co(es out an! touches e8ery leaf an!
e8ery floer% #he gentle little floer that is like a young girl that ruthless (en
!estroy% /a8e you seen the faces of rich (en5 /ar! busy ith their stocks an!
(oney*(aking5 =hat !o they kno of lo8e5 /a8e you e8er felt e8ery li(b of a
tree6 touche! a leaf6 sat by a ragge! chil!5 &ou kno hen , !ro8e to the
aero!ro(e6 , sa a (other ashing the buttocks of a chil!% ,t as beautiful%
@obo!y notice! her% All they kno is to (ake (oney an! cesspools of their
o(en% 4o8e to the( is seB% #o hol! a o(an>s han!6 hen she is not a o(an6
that is lo8e% 1o you kno hat it is to lo8e5 &ou ha8e husban!s an! chil!ren%
But ho oul! you kno5 &ou cannot hol! a clou! in a gol!en cage%$
/e as silent for a ti(e6 then sai!6 #his pain (akes (y bo!y like steelHbut6
oh6 so fleBible6 so pliant6 ithout a thought% ,t is like a polishingHan
eBa(ination%$ =e enCuire! hether he coul!n>t stop ha8ing the pain% /e sai!2
&ou ha8e ha! a chil!% Can you stop it co(ing hen once it starts5$ #hen2 #hey
are going to ha8e fun ith (e tonight% , see the stor( gathering% -h6 ChristosQ$
After so(e ti(e6 3aurice brought in so(e soup an! then ent out% 'rishna:i
ha! the light put on% /e ha! sat up ith the legs crosse!6 bo!y erect% #he pain
ha! gone fro( his face% /is eyes ere close!% /e see(e! to gro% =e felt
tre(en!ous poer pour into hi(% #here as a throbbing in the at(osphere% ,t
fille! the roo(% -ur eyes an! ears ere fille! ith it an! ith soun!6 though
1
, trie! to keep notes of hat 'rishna:i sai! in these (ystical states% So(e of the notes are (issing%
/oe8er6 , ha8e reprinte! here the notes that !o eBist an! @an!ini has helpe! (e reconstruct the rest%
there as no soun!G an! e8ery pore of our bo!ies felt a touch6 but there as
nothing in the roo(% #hen he opene! his eyes an! sai!2 So(ething happene!H
!i! you see anything5$ =e tol! hi( hat e ha! felt% /e sai!2 3y face ill be
!ifferent to(orro%$ /e lay !on an! his han! ent out in a gesture of fullness%
/e sai!6 , ill be like a rain!ropHspotless%$ After a fe (inutes6 he tol! us he
as all right an! that e shoul! go ho(e%
Jun" 19# 10122 'rishna:i ent out for a alk alone% /e aske! @an!ini an! (e
to ait for hi(% =e sat by the fire an! aite!% /e entere! the roo( as if he ere
a stranger% /e ent straight to his table an! rote so(ething in his file% After
so(e ti(e he gre aare of us% /e ca(e an! sat !on near the fire% /e aske! us
hat e ha! been !oing an! sai! that he ha! alke! far beyon! the ;olf Club%
#here as a flute being playe! in the !istance an! he sat silently6 listening to it
intently% ,t as only after it stoppe! that he appeare! in that se(iconscious state%
#ice hile e sat there6 that tre(en!ous presence fille! hi(% /e gre in stature
before us% /is eyes ere half*close!G his face silent an! i((ensely beautiful%
An! then he lay on the be! an! there as :ust the bo!y% #he 8oice that ca(e
fro( it as that of a frail chil!% #he 'rishna:i e kne as not there% #he bo!y
of 'rishna(urti starte! saying that he as 8ery hurt insi!e6 that they ha! burnt
hi( insi!eG that there as a pain right through his hea!% /e as shi8ering an!
starte! saying that so(ething ha! happene! on the alk% /e turne! to us an!
aske!6 1i! you see hi( return5$ /e coul! not synchroniDe his bo!y an! (in!%
At ti(e he felt he as still in the oo!s% #hey ca(e an! co8ere! hi( ith
lea8es%$ /e sai!6 1o you kno6 you oul! not ha8e seen hi( to(orro% /e
nearly !i! not return%$ /e kept on feeling his bo!y to see if it as all there% /e
sai!6 , (ust go back an! fin! out hat ha! happene! on the alk% So(ething
happene! an! they rushe! back% But6 , !o not kno hether , returne!5 #here
(ay be pieces of (e lying on the roa!%$ #ice he got out of be! an! (a!e for
the !oor6 but lay !on again% 4ater6 he ent to sleep% =hen he aoke6 he felt
hi(self an! stare! at his han!s%
Jun" 12# 10122 'rishna:i aske! us to co(e at about se8en in the e8ening% /e
as out% =e aite!% /e ca(e in so(e ti(e later% /e as again the stranger% /e
rote so(ething in the book an! then ca(e an! sat ith us% /e sai!2 #houghts
of (y talk in Bangalore are pouring in% , a( aake again%$ /e close! his eyes
an! sat for so(e ti(e erect6 silent% #hen he co(plaine! of hurt an! ent an! lay
!on% /e sai! he felt he as burnt% /e as crying% 1o you kno6 , foun! out
hat happene! on the alk% /e ca(e fully an! took co(plete charge% #hat is
hy , !i! not kno hether , ha! returne!% , kne nothing%$ A little later6 #hen
in the e(ptiness6 there as a light an! a stor( an! , as torture! that !ay in the
in!% 1o you kno that e(ptiness that has no horiDonHno li(itHit stretches5$
/is han! (o8e! to sho e(pty space%
#hen a little later2 #hey ha8e burnt (e so that there can be (ore e(ptiness%
#hey ant to see ho (uch of hi( can co(e%$ #hen later2 1o you kno
e(ptiness5 =hen there is not a thought5 =hen it is co(pletely e(pty5 But6 ho
coul! you kno5 ,t is this e(ptiness that brings poerHnot the poer they
kno6 the poer of (oney6 the poer of position6 the poer of husban! o8er
ife%$ /e pause!% #his is pure poerHlike that in a !yna(o% &ou kno6 on the
alk , as in an ecstasy% , ha8e ne8er crie! like that% As , alke! , (et a poor
(an% /e sa (e crying an! thought , ha! lost a (other or sister% #hen he s(ile!
at (e an! , coul! not un!erstan!%$ Su!!enly6 he sai!6 , ha8e a thoughtHti(e
an! e(ptinessHthat>s it% , hope , re(e(ber hen , ake up%$
/e starte! saying that he coul! not bear it6 that he as all burnt insi!e6 hurt%
#hen su!!enly he sat up an! sai!6 1on>t (o8e6$ an! again e sa hi( like the
other night% /is face as in the !ark6 but the fire leapt up an! his sha!o
lengthene! on the all% All pain ha! !isappeare! fro( the face% /is eyes ere
close!6 his bo!y as throbbing6 as if so(e poer as entering his bo!y% /is face
as pulsating% /e appeare! to gro an! fill the roo(% /e sat ithout (o8e(ent
for about three (inutes an! then he fainte!% /e oke up cal( an! peaceful%
RRRRRRR
Although the notes e took on the final night are lost6 @an!ini an! ,
re(e(ber the occasion 8i8i!ly%
'rishna:i ha! been suffering eBcruciating pain in his hea! an! neck6 his
sto(ach as sollen6 tears strea(e! !on his face% /e su!!enly fell back on the
be! an! beca(e intensely still% #he traces of pain an! fatigue ere ipe! aay6
as happens in !eath% #hen life an! an i((ensity began to enter the face% #he face
as greatly beautiful% ,t ha! no age6 ti(e ha! not touche! it% #he eyes opene!6
but there as no recognition% #he bo!y ra!iate! lightG a stillness an! a 8astness
illu(ine! the face% #he silence as liCui! an! hea8y6 like honeyG it poure! into
the roo( an! into our (in!s an! bo!ies6 filling e8ery cell of the brain6 iping
aay e8ery trace of ti(e an! (e(ory% =e felt a touch ithout a presence6 a
in! bloing ithout (o8e(ent% =e coul! not help fol!ing our han!s in
pranams% 7or so(e (inutes he lay un(o8ing6 then his eyes opene!% After so(e
ti(e6 he sa us an! sai!6 1i! you see that face5$ /e !i! not eBpect an anser%
/e lay silently% #hen6 #he Bu!!ha as here6 you are blesse!%$
=e ent back to the hotel6 an! the silence ca(e ith us an! enclose! us for
the neBt fe !ays% =e ere hel! by a per8a!ing presence% 3ost of the ti(e e
ere in the roo( ith 'rishna:i6 e ha! no part to playG yet our presence see(e!
necessary% #here as nothing personal in hi( !uring the inci!entsHno e(otion6
no relationship to us% #he or!eal appeare! physical6 an! yet the neBt !ay left no
trace on his face or bo!y% /e as afla(e ith energyH:oyous6 eager6 an!
youthful% @ot a or! he sai! ha! psychological o8ertones% A eight6 !epth6 an!
strength as present in the silence that per(eate! the roo( an! the at(osphere
on e8ery occasion% =hen @an!ini an! , co(pare! notes later6 e foun! that e
ha! both ha! i!entical eBperiences%
=hen @an!ini an! , left -otaca(un!6 'rishna(urti aske! us to go to
Bo(bay an! rest% &ou ha8e gone through a great or!eal%$
,n one of his letters to (e6 ' later referre! briefly to hat ha! happene!% , ha!
aske! hi( one (orning hat as the reason for the to 8oicesHthat of the frail
chil! an! the nor(al 8oice of 'rishna(urti% , sai! that it looke! as if so(e entity
goes out of the bo!y an! so(e entity reenters the bo!y% 'rishna(urti sai! in his
letter6 #his is not so% ,t is not that there are to entities%$ /e sai! he oul! talk
about it laterG but it as to be (any years before he spoke of it again%
CHAPTER 12
#here =as the 7ace
Besi!e 3e%$
-n (y return to Bo(bay , un!erent a 8ery !eep an! ineBplicable eBperience%
3y senses6 torn fro( their routine6 ha! eBplo!e!% -ne night as , lay !on to
sleep , felt the per8a!ing touch of a presence6 aiting% , as recei8e! an!
en8elope! in a !ense e(bryonic flui!% , as !roning6 for , felt (y
consciousness fa!ing% 3y bo!y rebelle!G it struggle!6 unable to accept this
enco(passing e(brace6 this sense of !eath% #hen the silent presence !isappeare!%
#his happene! for three nights running% Aach ti(e6 (y bo!y struggle!G it resiste!
this encounter6 unable to face this touch of !eath6 hich passe! as siftly as it
ha! co(e6 ne8er to return% #here as no fear% , tol! 'rishna:i about it at our neBt
(eeting6 an! he tol! (e to let it be6 neither to hol! it nor resist it%
'rishna:i ha! aske! us to keep secret hat e ha! itnesse! at -oty% =e felt
that he !i! not ish it to confuse the precision6 clarity6 an! !irectness of the
teaching% But by the 199<s 'rishna:i hi(self starte! talking about it to (any of
the people close to hi(% , aske!6 1o you think that the physical brain cells6
unable to contain or hol! the i((ensity of the energy that as floing into the
brain6 ha! to create the spaces in the brain to sustain it5 1i! there ha8e to be a
physical (utation in the brain cells the(sel8es5 -r as it like a laser bea(
operating on the brain cells to enable the( to function fully an! so contain the
boun!less5$
'rishna:i sai!6 Possibly that as so%$ /e pause!6 an! then continue!% After
-:ai6 4ea!beater coul! not eBplain the pain6 nor coul! 3rs% Besant% #he
eBplanation gi8en by the( as that the consciousness of 'rishna:i ha! to be
e(ptie! for a frag(ent of the 3aitreya Bo!hisatt8a to use the bo!y%$
=hen aske! hether it as 3aitreya6$ he neither sai! yes nor no% , aske!6
,s it that e are itnessing the first (in! that is operating fully6 totally5$
Possibly6$ ' sai!6 an! that is hat has to be !one ith the chil!ren here Kat
the ?ishi Falley SchoolL%$
'rishna(urti6 speaking in 1999 about the happenings in -oty6 sai! that for
hi( the !i8i!ing line beteen life an! !eath as fragile an! tenuous% 1uring the
state hen the bo!y as a shell6 the possibility eBiste! that ' coul! an!er aay
an! ne8er co(e back6 or so(e other ele(ents that ante! to !estroy the
(anifestation coul! har( the bo!y% #herefore there coul! be no fear a(ongst the
people near hi( at the ti(e% 7ear attracte! e8il%
, tol! hi( that hile he as in those states6 only the bo!y as operatingG
there as an e(ptiness in the bo!y% #he 8oice as chil!like% ' sai!6 Coul!n>t
you eBplain the to 8oices by saying that one as that of the bo!y alone5$
, aske!6 -nly the bo!y speaking5$
/e sai!6 =hy not5$
-nly a shell5$ , persiste!%
&es6 hy not5$ #hen ' aske! (e6 =as the 8oice hysterical5$
, replie!6 #here as no hysteria%$
=as it an i(aginati8e state5$ he aske!%
/o coul! , kno5$ , replie!%
' aske! hat oul! happen the neBt (orning% , sai! e so(eti(es ent ith
hi( for a alk% 'rishna:i as ali8e6 fresh% #he pain ha! left no (ark6 an! he
appeare! to ha8e forgotten hat ha! happene!% /e laughe! a great !eal6 looke!
at us CuiDDically6 as affectionate6 consi!erate6 o8erhel(e! us ith his
presence6 an! ha! no anser to our Cuestions% /e sai! he !i! not kno%
#hat sa(e year6 19996 hen ' as in Bo(bay6 so(e of us aske! hi( to
eBplain the pheno(enon of the face changing% /e sai!6 3any years ago , aoke
an! there as the face besi!e (e% #here as the face that '>s face as
beco(ing% #his face as ith (e all the ti(e6 happily% #he face as
eBtraor!inary6 highly culture!6 refine!%$ /e spoke as if his or!s relate! to
another being% An! one !ay the face as no longer there%$
/a! it beco(e one ith '5$ , aske!%
' sai! he !i! not kno% /e also spoke of the nee! of the bo!y to be
protecte!% @othing ugly shoul! take place aroun! it hile ' as aay6 nothing
e8il% ,n that state the bo!y as !efenseless6 all kin!s of ele(ents ante! to
!estroy it% =hen there is goo!6 there is also the other%$
/e as aske! hether e8il coul! take o8er his bo!y hen it as e(pty% /is
no$ as absolute%
#hen hat coul! e8il !o5 1estroy the (anifestation5$
&es6$ ' sai!6 that is hy there has to be lo8e% =hen there is lo8e there is
protection%$
' also sai! that it as possible that the pain an! hat took place as
necessary6 as the brain as not rea!y% #races of i((aturity re(aine!6 the brain
cells ere not large enough to recei8e the energy% =hen the energy co(es
pouring in an! the brain is not capable of hol!ing it6 then that energy feels it has
to polish it up% ,t (ay be its on acti8ity%$
Speaking further of the nee! for to people to be ith the bo!y6 ' sai!6
=here there is lo8e there is protection% /atre! per(its e8il to enter%$
=hen aske! here !oes the consciousness of ' go6 he replie!6 , ha8e aske!
(yself hat happens hen there is no (o8e(ent of the brain%$ After so(e ti(e
he continue!% ,t ceases co(pletely% -nly hen it has to (anifest it co(es% ,t
ceases to eBist hen it is not there% /as air any place6 has light any place5 Air is
enclose! an! so it is there% Break the enclosure6 it is e8eryhere%$
/e see(e! hesitant to probe further% /e sai! that he shoul! not probe further%
&ou can ask6$ he sai!6 an! , ill reply% But , cannot ask%$
'rishna:i 8isite! Bangalore on his return fro( -otaca(un!% /e as staying
at Pre(alaya6 a house that belonge! to the ell*knon physicist Fikra(
Sarabhai6 Chair(an of the Ato(ic Anergy Co((ission an! a pioneer of space
research in ,n!ia% 3aurice 7rie!(an as looking after hi(% An insatiable !esire
to eBperi(ent (a!e 7rie!(an suggest to 'rishna:i that garlic as beneficial for
his health% So siB clo8es of ra garlic ere a!!e! to his !iet% "n!er 7rie!(an>s
instructions Balasun!ara(6 ho as in Bangalore6 (assage! 'rishna:i !aily ith
(e!icinal oil%
By no a s(all group of young people ha! gathere! aroun! the seer%
Balasun!ara( an! his ife Fishalakshi6 Sunan!a an! her cousin 4alita6 1araka
Ma young frien! fro( BangaloreN6 an! Shanta ?ao ere constantly aroun!6 a!!ing
color6 chatter6 an! laughter to the at(osphere% San:ee8a ?ao6 ho as in
Bangalore6 as !isturbe! by so (any young people gathering aroun! the
astonishingly beautiful being% /e felt there as a certain le8ity in the at(osphere6
an! perhaps as re(in!e! of Annie Besant>s instructions on the nee! for initiates
to protect 'rishna:i against !estructi8e forces% ?u(ors starte!6 an! so(e of the
gossip floating aroun! ca(e to 'rishna:i>s hearing% Sensing a certain s(ugness
in the situation6 he chi!e! the ol!er group at a public (eeting% /e spoke of the
!estructi8e nature of irresponsible gossip an! the nee! for a serious (in!%
By no 3a!ha8achari ha! co(e to Bangalore% /e as aghast at 7rie!(an>s
eBperi(ents6 an! i((e!iately stoppe! 7rie!(an fro( gi8ing 'rishna:i his garlic
!iet an! the (assages%
Subba ?ao6 an ol! #heosophist ho ha! left the #heosophical Society ith
'rishna:i an! as no principal of the ?ishi Falley School6 soon ca(e to
Bangalore to !iscuss the school>s affairs ith 'rishna:i% Subba ?ao as a fine6
!e!icate! e!ucator6 lo8e! by the stu!entsG but he as groing ol!% As
3a!ha8achari repeate!ly state!6 the affairs of ?ishi Falley ere falling into the
han!s of the Coi(batore group% #hough it ne8er beca(e clear to (e hat as
rong ith the group or ho they ere6 it as generally accepte! that they ere
un!esirable% Subba ?ao6 unable to control the affairs6 ha! suggeste! he resign%
-ne !ay San:ee8a ?ao sai! to 'rishna:i6 ?ishi Falley as bought ith T1<6<<<
gi8en as a gift for that purpose% ,t is your property% ,t is being !estroye!% &ou
(ust interfere%$ 'rishna(urti replie! siftly6 3y property5 , ha8e no property%$
#he talks in Bangalore ere 8ery ell atten!e!6 an! soon !iscussions ere
hel! regar!ing the ?ishi Falley School% At this stage 3iss 3uriel Payne steppe!
in% 3uriel Payne6 ho ha! co(e to Bangalore fro( Anglan!6 as a big*bone!
o(an6 i((ensely energetic% #he hea! of a nursing organiDation !uring the ar6
she sol! her nurse>s training college an! ca(e to ,n!ia% She ha! knon
'rishna(urti for (any years% ,n fact6 she tol! (e that she ha! nurse!
'rishna(urti hen he as seriously ill in -:ai !uring 19+) an! 19+6%
She (et 'rishna(urti in Bangalore an! suggeste! that she put together a
group of young people an! start ork in ?ishi Falley% 3iss Payne>s !on*to*
earth capacity to organiDe6 co(bine! ith a certain perception an! so(e insight
into the teaching6 (a!e her a for(i!able personality% She as an ar!ent frien!6
but ha! no use for the inefficient an! the (e!iocre an! !ealt ith people harshly%
A physically unattracti8e o(an6 she as un(arrie!G an! the absence of
physical lo8e ha! accentuate! her natural ruthlessness% But she as a tall o(an
in e8ery sense of the or!% She coul! fill a roo( ith her irrepressible intention
to shape people>s li8es%
,t as !eci!e! to set up a co((unity to look after ?ishi FalleyG the group
oul! inclu!e 3iss Payne6 3a!ha8achari6 3aurice 7rie!(an6 Subba ?ao6 an!
?a:agopal ,yengar% Also in the group ere A8elyn =oo!6 ;or!on Pearce6 an!
A!hikara(% A8elyn =oo!6 an Anglish(an (arrie! to an ,n!ian o(an ho as
a professor of Anglish at Bo(bay "ni8ersity6 ser8e! the British go8ern(ent an!
later staye! on in ,n!ia after ,n!epen!ence% ;or!on Pearce6 a #heosophist an!
ell*knon e!ucator6 (arrie! an ,n!ian o(an6 Anusuya Paran:paye% /e
establishe! a public school in ;alior6 took charge as principal of ?ishi Falley
School6 an! later as to start the Blue 3ountain School in -otaca(un!%
A!hikara(6 a 8ery ell*knon e!ucator fro( Sri 4anka6 later beca(e chancellor
of Colo(bo "ni8ersity% #hey ere later to go to ?ishi Falley an! take charge%
,ne8itably perhaps6 they ere soon torn by !issension% A8elyn =oo! as the first
to lea8e6 folloe! by 3aurice 7rie!(an% 3a!ha8achari resigne!6 an! Subba ?ao
left the 8alley% Pearce an! A!hikara( ne8er ca(e% 3iss Payne as left in sole
charge% San:ee8a ?ao as by then horrifie! by 3iss Payne an! her lack of
e!ucation%$ A!ucate! at 'ings College6 Ca(bri!ge6 San:ee8a ?ao as unable to
countenance 3iss Payne>s ignorance of Anglish gra((ar an! her appalling
spelling% San:ee8a ?ao rote poignant letters to (e6 co(plaining of 3iss
Payne>s ignorance an! the i(propriety of her being connecte! ith e!ucational
ork%
At this stage a suggestion as (a!e that ?ishi Falley an! the lan!s
surroun!ing it be sol!% 3iss Payne reacte! strongly to this hisper an! rote to
'rishna(urti6 ho as in Poona6 protesting the sale of lan! but suggesting that
the school be close!% 3iss Payne a!8ise! the establish(ent of an international
co((unity% 3a!ha8achari strongly oppose! the i!ea of selling the lan!6 an! in
protest he resigne! fro( the ?ishi Falley #rust%
'rishna:i finally !eci!e! that ?ishi Falley oul! not be sol!% /oe8er6
Subba ?ao resigne! an! the school as partly close! !on by 'itty Shi8a ?ao6
Shi8a ?ao>s Austrian ife6 an! ?ao Sahib Patar!han6 then presi!ent an!
secretary of the ?ishi Falley #rust% 3iss Payne returne! to Anglan!6 after hich
3a!ha8achari re:oine! the #rust% /oe8er6 3iss Payne returne! to the Aast an!
(et 'rishna(urti in Colo(bo6 Sri 4anka6 in -ctober 19+9% 4ater6 along ith
A!hikara( an! Pearce6 she establishe! the ?ishi Fana Sangha6 a co((unity in
hich to li8e the teachings of 'rishna(urti% #hey all !ro8e to ?ishi Falley an!
took o8er the estate% ?a:agopal ,yengar6 a senior engineer of the Central Ser8ices
ho ha! resigne! pre(aturely fro( the go8ern(ent to ork in ?ishi Falley6 as
also a (e(ber of the co((unity6 as as 3aurice 7rie!(an% ?elentlessly6 3iss
Payne took o8er% #he ol! orkers ere aske! to lea8e6 an! the co((unity as
soon re!uce! to a skeleton%
7ro( Bangalore ' tra8ele! to Poona6 here he as to stay at the guest house
of the Ser8ants of ,n!ia Society% 3y (other6 ,ra8ati 3ehta6 as to play host an!
look after ' hile he as in Poona% 3y nephe Asit Chan!(al6 age! nine6 as
ith (y (other% /is father6 a (e(ber of the ,n!ian ci8il ser8ice6 !e8elope! a
(ental illness% /is (other an! father separate! an! Asit as brought up by his
gran!(other6 (y (other% Aare of the co(pleBity of the chil!>s proble(s6 she
ha! taken hi( out of school to be in Poona6 intuiti8ely un!erstan!ing that to
(onths un!er the sa(e roof ith ' oul! !o (ore for Asit than any school%
, aske! Asit to rite so(e of his recollections of this perio!6 for he ha! spent
a great !eal of ti(e ith '% ,n one letter6 Asit rote6
=hen , as nine , staye! ith 'rishna:i in Poona for se8eral eeks% 3y gran!(other ha! set
up house in the Ser8ants of ,n!ia SocietyHthere ere to be!roo(s an! a li8ing roo( in
beteen% #he !ining roo( an! the kitchen ere in a separate cottage to hun!re! yar!s aay%
=e use! to alk together to the cottage for lunchHhis u(brella alays protecting hi( against
e8en a hint of sun% /e often aske! (e to run to the cottageHhe ran ith (e an! e finishe!
together% , as nine an! he as siB ti(es (y ageHfifty*four% =hen he sa (e flying kites he
tol! (e about the enor(ous kites in California6 larger in span than his outstretche! ar(s6 an!
later6 hen it as 1iali6 e ent to the (arkets of Poona6 bought firecrackers6 an! lit the( at
night% -nce6 hen , shie! aay fro( a bursting bo(b he sai!6 =atch it6 !on>t look aay%$
1
Before he left Bangalore6 ' ha! gi8en Sunan!a +<< rupees an! a shal% ,t
as a sy(bolic gesture6 a suggestion that she lea8e her ho(e an! enter the orl!%
She ha! co(e to Poona ith her cousin 4alita6 1araka6 an! ;auta(6 her
(aternal uncle% #hey ere staying in the #heosophical Society rest house% Also
present as ;aan!e6 a 8ery intelligent an! thoughtful young (an ho later as
to beco(e a sannyasi%
#he au!ience at the talks as ali8e% ;an!hians6 stu!ents6 riters6 scholars6
an! professionals ca(e to the (eetings% #he !iscussions ere 8ibrant6 !o(inate!
by Cuestions on alle8iation of po8erty an! the !e(an!s of social ork%
' as (eeting 8ast nu(bers of people% 3any o(en ith trouble! (arital
li8es sought inter8ies ith hi(6 an! he soon sense! the insecurities an! sorros
that bur!ene! the life of a (arrie! o(an% ,n his public talks he as aske! (any
Cuestions about the !uties of a ife$ an! the role of (arriage% /e lashe! out at
the hypocrisy of ,n!ian society6 its 8alues an! (oralities% /e spoke of the
position of the o(an an! the econo(ic !o(ination of the husban!% ,t is only a
static society an! a !eteriorating society that talks of !uty an! rights%$ /e sai!6
/a8e you notice! a (an hose heart is e(pty5 /is face beco(es ugly% 4ook at
your face so(eti(es in a (irror6 ho unfor(e!6 ho un!efine! it is%$ /e spoke
of the absence of lo8e ith its !epth an! profun!ity% #o lo8e is to be chaste6
pure6 incorruptible%$
, ha! prece!e! ' to 1elhi% By then (y husban! ha! shifte! his hea!Cuarters
to 1elhi an! e ere staying at the 1elhi ;y(khana Club% As (y ork as
(ainly in Bo(bay6 , co((ute! beteen the to cities% , as trouble! in Poona6
(y (in! ha! begun to rebel% , felt , shoul! go back to (y ol! life an! acti8ities6
to (y ork6 (y clubs6 (y en!less routine% , trie! to6 but foun! (yself an
outsi!er% @either coul! , go to (eet '% A8ery ti(e , as near hi(6 , felt a all
beteen usG he as unapproachable% 3y inar! balance as shattere!%
, aske! ' hat ha! happene! to (e% At -oty , ha! felt at the e!ge of an
aakening% , nee!e! :ust one step to plunge into nothingness% But the step ne8er
ca(e6 an! before , ha! ti(e to hol! to hat , ha!6 , as sept aay into the
!epth of loneliness% ,n -oty there as :oy an! the passion of aakening e8ery
(orning6 of seeing ' afla(e ith the rising sun% ,t as like falling in lo8e ith
sunlightG passionately6 yet ith !elicacy% , ha! gli(pse! 8ast !epths an! an
i((ensity of seeing% ,t re(aine! ith (e6 sustaining (e for !ays% Soon6
hoe8er6 , as to be thrust into the harsh re8erberations of Bo(bayHits noises6
the cru!e eBploitations6 the ugliness an! coarseness of li8ing% #his su!!en
!escent into the !enseness an! the grit of a pollute! city6 pro(pte! (e to rite to
'rishna:i6 saying that it oul! be easier to !on the saffron robe%
But that as not the only reason for (y being so rapi!ly o8erhel(e!% ,
aske! ' in Poona again an! again the reasons for !espair6 an! he sai!6 =hy !o
you ask for a reason5 &ou are trouble! an! not in a state of aareness% See
yourself in the pit an! you ill be out of it% @eBt ti(e you ill be atchful an!
see that you !o not fall back into the pit%$ But , coul! not un!erstan!6 an! felt
that going to hi( as utterly futile%
-ne of the 5panishads says that it is better to keep aay fro( truth
altogetherG but6 once ha8ing hear!6 you (ust act or the truth acts as a poison
ithin you% 'rishna(urti says the sa(e thing2 'eep aay if you are not
serious%$ But , as serious% , ha8e ne8er been so serious% , ha8e ne8er felt so
!eeply% As , as lea8ing Poona he sai! to (e6 4et go your hol!% =hy !o you
ant to hol! so tight5 4et it go an! see hat happens%$
=hen he arri8e! in 1elhi6 , ent to (eet ' alone% /e tol! (e that he ha!
!rea(e! about (e Mhe rarely ha! !rea(sN% 4isten to hat , say% , a( going to
talk as if , ere you% , a( a Brah(in born of a tra!ition of culture an! learning
ith a backgroun! of intellect an! sensiti8ity% ,n this backgroun! there is a 8ein
of eakness6 of cru!eness% , spent (y chil!hoo! in a ci8il ser8ant>s house% , ate
(eat an! as (a!e to re:ect (y Brah(inis(% , ent to Aurope6 (arrie!6 ha! a
chil!6 a se8ere illness% , ent blin!6 life use! (e an! left its (ark on (e% , gre
a(bitious an! culti8ate! ruthlessness an! !enie! sensiti8ity% ,n (eeting people ,
ha8e absorbe! an! reflecte! their coarseness or their sensiti8ity% , ha8e not ha!
the intelligence to (eet coarseness ith intelligence% #hen 'rishna(urti ca(e%
At first , sa in hat he ha! to say a ay of sharpening (y brain6 but soon , as
caught in it% ,n the (ost poerful influence , ha! knon% An! all the ti(e6
although , !enie! (y Brah(in backgroun!6 it as there6 the (ain contra!iction6
the Brah(in backgroun! ne8er un!erstoo! but re:ecte!6 an! so , a( alays in
conflict%$
#hen he sai!6 &ou see the picture6 the patches6 the lights6 the sha!es6 the
cru!eness6 the sensiti8ity% =hat is it you feel hen you see the picture as a
hole5$ , sai! it as a (ess6 an! aske! hat , coul! !o to straighten out the
contra!iction% Surely , (ust be able to act in the contra!iction%
/e sai!6 &ou are still concerne! about !oing% But any action on your part
ill (ean a!!ing another patch% =hy can>t you :ust see it5 ,t is you6 ith all its
sha!es an! lights% =hat is the use of pre:u!ice or pleasure5 Just absorb it an! see
yourself as you are6 clearly% #hen you ill stop bri!ging the coarseness an!
sensiti8ity%$
#hat is6 , (ust stop trying to be sensiti8e6 hen , a( coarse%$
@o6$ 'rishna(urti replie!% &ou cannot !o anything% Just atch the truth of
your bri!ging6 hich you are constantly !oing%$ #his as the first ti(e , ha!
hear! hi( refer to the backgroun! an! the necessity of un!erstan!ing it% , aske!
hi( ho it coul! be un!erstoo!%
See that it is there in all its richness6 its fullness6 its thousan!s of years of
racial (e(ory% #hen hen it neBt pro:ects itself6 you ill see it an! there ill be
instant un!erstan!ing an! the en! of conflict ith it% &ou cannot re:ect the
backgroun!6 for it is there as (uch as your ar( or skin% &ou can only un!erstan!
it6 an! un!erstan!ing it be free of it%$ A little later he sai!6 =hat (an nee!s is
that content(ent that is in the earth hen it has gi8en birth to a tree% ,n a bush
hen it has pro!uce! a floer%$
CHAPTER 13
=hy 1on>t &ou Begin to
Clean &our 7ront 1oorstep6
the Part of &our Street
=hich ,s &ourself%$
=hile in 1elhi 'rishna:i as the guest of San:ee8a ?ao>s brother6 Sir B% @% ?ao6
a brilliant layer an! bureaucrat6 a (e(ber of the ,n!ian ci8il ser8ice6 ho ha!
been aske! by Pri(e 3inister Jaaharlal @ehru to a!8ise in fra(ing the
constitution of ,n!ia% 1elhi as basking in brilliant sunshine6 sloly aakening
to the i(plications of free!o( an! the 8ast opportunities that ere arising in
e8ery !irection% #he Constituent Asse(bly ha! co((ence! to functionG layers6
political thinkers6 an! free!o( fighters ha! gathere! in 1elhi to for(ulate in a
ritten constitution the i!eals for hich they ha! struggle!% Secularis(6 eCuality
before the la6 free!o( of speech6 free!o( fro( arbitrary arrest an!
confine(entHall ere being !ebate! ith passion% But un!erlying their
!iscussions ere the (ur!er of ;an!hi:i an! the trau(atic e8ents of partition that
ha! re8eale! the 8iolence an! !i8isi8e forces burie! !eep in the ,n!ian soil6 an!
the inti(ations of chaos6 fear6 an! brutality that lay ahea!%
San:ee8a ?ao6 the gentle e!ucator an! one of Annie Besant>s ol!est
associates6 ha! co(e fro( 3a!ras to be ith 'rishna:i% =ith hi( as his ife
Pa!(abai6 an eBtre(ely able teacher an! a pioneer in o(en>s e!ucation in
"ttar Pra!esh% ,n the late 19.<s , ha! for a short perio! stu!ie! at Faranasi6 at the
school here Pa!(abai as the principal% 1ignifie!6 protecti8e6 a8ailable6 she
co((unicate! her affection an! concern to young a!olescent girls6 ho in turn
lo8e! her% ,n the 19.<s o(en>s e!ucation in "ttar Pra!esh as still a sensiti8e
sub:ect% ,t !e(an!e! intelligence an! probity to i(part right 8alues to girls
ithin the restricte! fra(eork the en8iron(ent !e(an!e!% Sir B% @% ?ao>s
youngest brother6 Shi8a ?ao6 the 1elhi resi!ent representati8e of the poerful
South ,n!ian Anglish !aily Th" )indu6 as sharing the house ith B% @% ?ao% /is
ife 'itty6 an Austrian ho ha! co(e to ,n!ia in the 19.<s an! taught in the
3ontessori School for chil!ren at Faranasi6 acte! as B% @% ?ao>s hostess%
,n the e8enings after !inner6 ' listene! to the ?ao brothers !iscuss ,n!ia an!
the intricacies of the ne constitution that as being fra(e!%
' as 8isiting an! speaking in 1elhi after an absence of (any years6 an! the
legen!ary early years of his life ha! create! great curiosity an! interest%
Scientists6 a!(inistrators6 !iplo(ats6 aca!e(ics6 an! sannyasis ca(e to his talks
an! !iscussions6 confronting hi( ith Cuestions on the harsh realities of the
,n!ian situation% #hey foun! in 'rishna:i a silent an! co(passionate listener6 an!
challenge! hi( ith the ina!eCuacy of his teaching6 asserting that he ha! no
solutions to the proble(s of po8erty6 untouchability6 the caste syste(% 'rishna:i>s
response as to pose another Cuestion2 1i! they kno the nature of the 8ast
proble(5
,n this (o!ern sage they sought a Fi8ekanan!6 but ca(e aay puDDle!Hfor
they encountere! a (an of supre(e presence ho !i! not fit any of their knon
categories of saints an! sannyasis% /e ansere! their Cuestions on po8erty by
saying that the nee!s of (anHfoo!6 shelter6 clothingHcoul! only be effecti8ely
organiDe! hen the nee!s ere not use! for psychological purposes for self*
eBclusi8e en!s6 but ere !ealt ith on their on le8el% Sensing the s(ugness of
the Cuestioners6 he castigate! the(2 #he (in! is yourself% ,t cannot be Cuiet
hen it is sitting on a 8olcano%$ @egating all beliefs6 secret !octrines6 an!
practices6 he sai! to those ho ha! gathere!6 #he self is not a per(anent entity6
but a strea(6 floing ater%$
3ost people in ,n!ia ha! itnesse! the free!o( struggle an! the poer of a
(ass (o8e(ent6 an! they felt that to buil! a ne ,n!ia 8ast nu(bers of people
shoul! launch a ne struggle for 8alues% 'rishna:i tol! the(6 #o create a ne
structure , (ust be the architect6 the buil!er as ell as the ork(an%$ =hen
aske! hat one (an coul! !o6 he respon!e!6 &ou think in ter(s of large
(o8e(ents6 large actions6 large responsibilities6 but you !o not take
responsibility% =hy !on>t you begin to clean your front !oorstep6 the part of your
street hich is yourself5$
#he light of his intelligence as probing into thought an! the (in!% =e feel
that the O,> is !ifferent fro( thought6 fro( (in!% ,s the O,> the thinker separate
fro( thought5 #hen the thinker can operate on thought% ,s the O,> separate fro(
its Cualities5 ?e(o8e thought6 here is the thinker5$ After each sentence he
pause!6 as if to let the or!s sink !eep into the listener>s consciousness%
=e feel that the O,> is per(anent6 because all other thoughts co(e an! go% ,f
the thinker is per(anent6 then thought can be change!6 controlle!6 transfor(e!
by the thinker% But is not the O,> the result of thought5 &our (in! separates the O,>
fro( thought because it cannot bear i(per(anency% #hought cannot (o8e fro(
the knon to the unknon% #o free the (in! fro( the knon is all the (in! can
!o% #o fin! out hat lies beyon! or!s6 or!s (ust cease% , can only use or!s
to get to the !oor%$
,n 1ece(ber 'rishna:i as in8ite! to #een 3urti /ouse6 the Pri(e 3inister>s
official resi!ence% , as also present% Jaaharlal @ehru ha! :ust returne! fro( the
Jaipur Congress an! looke! 8ery tire! an! !epresse!% /e sai! to 'rishna:i6 ,
ha8e been 8ery busy lately6 !oing , !on>t kno hat%$ /e aske! 'rishna:i ho
the !isintegrating forces that ere sprea!ing so rapi!ly coul! be ste((e!%
'rishna:i ansere! that integration coul! only start at the in!i8i!ual le8el%
#his (ust be a slo process6 hile !isintegration is sprea!ing so rapi!ly6$
sai! Jaaharlal @ehru% =hat is there to sho that the forces of !isintegration
ill not sa(p the integrating forces5$
'rishna:i replie!6 ,t is possible%$
#hey then !iscusse! ho the in!i8i!ual as to regenerate hi(self% 'rishna:i
sai!6 "n!erstan!ing of the self only arises in relationship6 in atching yourself
in relationship to people6 i!eas6 an! thingsG to trees6 the earth6 an! the orl!
aroun! you an! ithin you% ?elationship is the (irror in hich the self is
re8eale!% =ithout self*knole!ge there is no basis for right thought an! action%$
Jaaharlal @ehru inter8ene! an! aske!6 /o !oes one start5$
' replie!6 Begin here you are% ?ea! e8ery or!6 e8ery phrase6 e8ery
paragraph of the (in!6 as it operates through thought%$
@ehru as listening6 but one coul! see the eariness on his face% /e aske!6
=hat is the co((on factor a(ongst all people5$
#he !esire to a8oi! pain an! seek happiness6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
@ehru then !iscusse! the fear that as !ri8ing people to acts of 8iolence% /e
aske! 'rishna:i hether action born of un!erstan!ing coul! free (an fro( fear6
the psychological fear that as the (oti8e force of (any of (an>s actions%
'rishna:i sai!6 7ree!o( fro( fear can only arise hen (an percei8es the
(o8e(ent of fear ithin hi(self% #he seeing of it is the Cuenching of it%$
Jaaharlal @ehru an! 'rishna:i !i! not see( really to co((unicate eBcept
once or tice% #he pri(e (inister appeare! 8ery intereste!6 but 8ery tire!% /e
kept hi(self aake by s(oking% /is (in! turne! back to the proble( of
integration an! the approach to self*knole!ge% /o !oes (an un!erstan!
hi(self5$ he kept on asking6 seeking a clue%
4ook at hat is outsi!e you an! ithin you% 4ook at your thoughts6$ sai!
'rishna:i% =ho is the thinker5 An! are thoughts separate fro( the thinker5$ /e
spoke of the nee! for a !eep re8olution in consciousnessG of the urgency for a
perception of the global to operate6 ithout hich (an coul! not sur8i8e% #hese
ere prophetic or!sG they oul! assu(e supre(e rele8ance in the frag(ente!6
8iolent orl! of the 198<s%
-n the ay ho(e after the (eeting6 'rishna:i as !isturbe! an! sa!% /e
re(arke! that @ehru>s as such a fine6 sensiti8e (in!% ,t as aste! in politics%
Politics as !ea!ly% 4ater6 at !inner6 'rishna:i !iscusse! ith the ?ao brothers
the proble( of !isintegration in ,n!ia% Society is continually !isintegrating%
=hat is the place then of a refor(er in society5 ,s he not a!!ing to the
!isintegration5 A refor(er is concerne! ith effects an! their rearrange(ents%
-nly a re8olutionary goes to the root6 to the cause in hich the en! is containe!%$
'rishna:i as Cuestioning hi(self% /e aske! hether ;an!hi:i as a
re8olutionary or a refor(er%
;an!hi:i ha! the 8ision of the re8olutionary% /e ha! the capacity to think in
a big ay% /is thinking as not that of a refor(er6$ sai! Sir B% @% ?ao%
/e as a re8olutionary then in thought6 but in eBecution6 the 8ision
narroe!% Caught up in politics6 ;an!hi:i ha! to co(pro(ise6 an! his
re8olutionary sense as sub(erge! an! he e(erge! a refor(er6$ (use!
'rishna:i% /e then aske! Sir B% @% ?ao hether ,n!ia ha! lea!ers ho ere
capable of shaping effects%
,n ,n!ia lea!ers see( poerless% Affects are seeping the( aay% ,n this
rapi! !isintegration there is !espair as ell as hope% #here are to paths before
,n!ia% Aither she ill be co(pletely sept aay an! ill cease to be of any
i(portance in the orl!G or6 by the 8ery touching of the !epths of !isintegration6
the in!i8i!ual ill aaken to his responsibility an! refuse to be carrie! aay by
the current% A ne society ill e(erge entirely !ifferent to any that has been
knon%$ 'rishna:i sai! that he as eBtre(ely intereste! to see hat oul!
happen%
/e spoke again of his (eeting ith Jaaharlal @ehru% /e ha! felt !eeply
(o8e! by the fineness of the pri(e (inister>s (in!6 an! it as a sa!ness to hi(
that a sensiti8e (in! like this shoul! ha8e been caught up in politics% 'rishna:i
sai!6 Politics ages the (in!6 it is !estructi8e to the floering of the (in!%$
Anan!(ai 3a6 the (ost fa(ous of the then*li8ing !eifie! 3others$ Mo(en
ho in their lifeti(e transcen!e! the self an! beca(e sy(bols of Sakti6 the
pri(or!ial (other as energyN6 ith a 8ery large folloing in @orth ,n!ia6 ca(e to
(eet 'rishna:i% #hey (et in the gar!en6 as the 3other ne8er entere! the ho(e of
a househol!er% She !i! not speak Anglish6 an! spoke through a translator% She
ha! a ra!iant6 s(iling presence% She sai! that she ha! seen a photograph of
'rishna:i (any years before an! kne that he as 8ery great% She aske! hi(6
=hy !o you !eny gurus5 &ou ho are the ;uru of ;urus$ Mthis as translate!
to hi(N%
/e replie!6 People use the guru as a crutch%$
People co(e to listen to you in thousan!s6$ she sai!% #hat (eans you are a
guru%$ /e hel! her han! gently an! !i! not anser%
3any 8isitors ca(e an! prostrate! the(sel8es at the feet of ' an! Anan!(ai
3a% Anan!(ai 3a accepte! their greetings6 but 'rishna:i as e(barrasse!% As
alays6 he oul! not per(it the( to bo !on6 but sprang to his feet an! bent
!on to touch the feet of the seeker of blessing%
4ater6 after Anan!(ai 3a left6 'rishna:i spoke of her ith ar(th an!
affection% #here ha! been co((unication6 though (uch of it ha! been or!less%
/e as6 hoe8er6 horrifie! at the prostrating6 hysterical o(en folloers ho
surroun!e! her%
,n (y notes of the perio! , ha8e recor!e! the 8isit of an ol! blin! sannyasi6
ho spoke only /in!i% #he sannyasi aske! 'rishna:i about free!o( fro( the
bon!s of bo!y an! (in!% So(eone translate!% 'rishna:i ansere! ith passion
an! intensity6 an! the sannyasi see(e! to un!erstan!% Although in his public
talks 'rishna:i castigate! the earers of the robe6 !eep ithin hi( he ha! alays
felt an i((ense kinship for the person ho ore the robe% ,n his early years there
is e8i!ence that at ti(es he ha! thought of beco(ing a sannyasi% Aakening to
its i(plications6 he ha! not !one soG but a special ten!erness for the true sannyasi
or Bu!!hist (onk re(aine!6 an! he ne8er refuse! to (eet the(6 hoe8er tire! he
as% /is criticis( of their rituals6 !isciplines6 an! practices6 hoe8er6 as
!e8astating%
-ne !ay to ,ranian princesses ca(e to see 'rishna:i% #hey ere 8isiting
,n!ia an! ha! hear! of the presence in the city of a great religious teacher% #hey
aske! 'rishna:i hether he coul! foretell their future% 'rishna:i looke! CuiDDical6
an! sai! that he as not an astrologer% #hey ere e(barrasse!6 for they ha!
presu(e! that 'rishna:i6 being a religious person6 as also a fortuneteller%
1iscussions ith a s(all group ha! starte!% Achyut Patar!han as in 1elhi
an! so as Sunan!a6 ith her lithe young bo!y an! raDor sharp intellect%
Sunan!a as 8ery young6 an! her eBplo!ing senses hel! her enrapture!% Acstatic
in the at(osphere surroun!ing 'rishna:i an! afla(e ith his supre(e beauty6 she
oul! continue to sit on the floor after the !iscussions ere o8er6 her eyes tightly
close!6 one pal( resting on her cheek% After a fe (inutes6 hen aske! hat
as the (atter6 she oul! open her large eyes an! say6 , a( eBperiencing%$
#he !iscussions ere precise6 probingG e8ery (o8e(ent6 e8ery action of life
as brought into the light of attention an! eBa(ine!% At ti(es the process as
painful6 an! the bo!y (in! shrank fro( the confrontation% =e !iscusse!
8iolence6 fear6 anger6 :ealousy6 an! !eath%
At one of the e8ening !iscussions ' as aske!6 /o can one be in lo8e5 #o
be so e(be!!e! in the state that action an! response are those of lo8e6 an! so free
of the self5$
'rishna:i sai!6 Can you kno lo8e5 -b8iously6 that hich you kno is not
lo8e% #o lo8e is to be sensiti8e6 8ulnerable to e8erything% ,t is to be 8irtuous% Can
8irtue be stu!ie!5 Any atte(pt to beco(e 8irtuous6 any effort6 is to !eny 8irtue%$
A young ci8il ser8ant sai! that so(e (ystics (aintaine! that by
acknole!ging a personal ;o!6 en!oing that ;o! ith certain Cualities an! all*
e(bracing lo8e6 an! then surren!ering the self to those Cualities6 the self en!e!%
#his i(plies the pro:ection of the self in a preconcei8e! conception of hat
the Cualities of lo8e are6$ sai! 'rishna:i% , say to kno it you ha8e to be in a
state of not*knoingness% But to ant to be in a state of not knoing is to !esire
a result6 hich you ha8e alrea!y pro:ecte!G for all that you kno is the knon%
/o can you go fro( the knon to the unknon5 =hate8er you !o fro( the
state of the knon ill re(ain ithin the fiel! of the knon% =hat then
happens5$ #he participants ere absorbe! by the clarity an! luci!ity of his
or!s% &ou !o not seek a ay out6 because you !o not kno a ay out% #he
(o(ent you really see this6 you are outHin a state of not knoing6 recepti8e6
rea!y to recei8e the unknon%$
=e also !iscusse! the nature of perception6 that through thought there is no
eBit fro( the routine of the (in!6 for thought as its bon!age% 'rishna:i aske!6
,s it possible to ha8e a (in! that is totally e(pty6 free of any floing (o8e(ent
of the self5 Can the forar! an! backar! (o8e(ent cease5 ,n this is there not
the !issolution of the self5$
At that (o(ent the lights ent out% ,n the !arkness the at(osphere beca(e
charge!6 (in!s turne! to !arkness as an ai! to e(ptiness an! nothingness%
'rishna:i su!!enly stoppe! speaking% /e sai! he oul! ait for the lights to
co(e on% ,n !arkness the (in! can hypnotiDe itself6 i(agine all kin!s of states%
#his is !angerous% ,t is illusion%$
,t is these little inci!ents that re8eal the integrity an! i((ensity of a (in! that
refuses to co(pro(ise or allo any foothol!%
Achyut Patar!han6 ho as in 1elhi6 ca(e regularly to see 'rishna:i% /e
ha! been to see 1r% ;yanchan!6 a ell*knon econo(ist at 1elhi "ni8ersity6
ho ha! pronounce! Socialist 8ies% ;yanchan! ha! argue! ith Achyut on the
nature an! structural fra(eork nee!e! to establish the principles of eCuality in
the constitution% /e sai! that intellectual capacity ha! to be the criterion for
lea!ership% Achyut aske! 'rishna:i hether this as the right approach% 7or
Achyut6 socialis( i(plie! the absence of hierarchies at all le8els% By
e(phasiDing hate an! bitterness6 3arBis( ha! faile! to see this% 'rishna:i aske!6
Can there be an approach that ipes aay intellectual or capacity !ifferences5$
Socialis(6$ Achyut sai!6 cannot (erely be concerne! ith the econo(ic
nee!s of (an% #he econo(ic struggle (ust create capacity !ifferences6 unless the
basis as an eCuality of spirit%$
So(eone brought up the story of 'rishna raising a hunchbacke! o(an to
!ignity% /o can such a psychological raising be brought about5 Can there be a
transfor(ation at the root of the (in!6 an! so outsi!e the pre8ie of capacity
!ifferences5$
'rishna:i aske!6 ,s the proble( not one of refusing to accept a lea!er5 #his
alone brings eCuality in social an! econo(ic relationships% =hen thron on his
on responsibility6 (an ill ine8itably Cuestion% An! in Cuestioning there is no
higher6 no loer% Any syste( base! on acceptance of capacity !ifferences to
establish status (ust ine8itably lea! to a hierarchical society6 an! so bree! class
ar%$
'rishna:i later aske! (e6 =hat is it that gi8es !ignity to (an5 Self*
knole!geHthe knole!ge of hat you are5 #he folloer is the greatest curse%$
CHAPTER 14
"n!er the 4ast ?ays of the
Sun6 the =aters =ere the
Color of @eborn 7loers%$
,n 19+9 'rishna:i as to !isco8er the fla8or of ,n!ia2 the splen!or of its ri8ers6
(ountains6 an! countrysi!eG its sCualor6 po8erty6 an! sorroG an! the !ust of the
paths on hich barefoot sages an! seekers ha! alke! for centuries% /e as
feeling into the ,n!ian (in! that !elt in abstractions an! !elighte! in i!easG he
as groing intensely aare of the sha!os that separate! the i!eal fro( action%
7ro( 1elhi he tra8ele! by train to Faranasi% A (an sharing his co(part(ent6
intereste! in !eath an! physical pheno(ena6 Cuestione! 'rishna:i on the truth of
!eath an! on continuity% As the train ca(e to a stop at a local station6 an
interesting thing happene!%
#he train ha! co(e to a stop6$ sai! 'rishna:i6 an! :ust then a to*heele!
carriage as passing6 !ran by a horse% -n the carriage as a hu(an corpse6
rappe! in an unbleache! cloth an! tie! to to long green*ba(boo poles6 freshly
cut% 7ro( so(e 8illage it as being taken to the ri8er to be burnt% As the carriage
(o8e! o8er the rough roa! the bo!y as being brutally shaken6 an! un!er the
cloth the hea! as ob8iously getting the orst of it% #here as only one
passenger in the carriage besi!es the !ri8erG he (ust ha8e been a near relati8e6
for his eyes ere re! ith (uch crying% #he sky as the !elicate blue of early
spring an! chil!ren ere playing an! shouting in the !irt of the roa!% 1eath (ust
ha8e been a co((on sight6 for e8eryone ent on ith hat they ere !oing%
A8en the inCuirer into !eath !i! not see the carriage an! its bur!en%$
1
#he house in hich 'rishna:i li8e! at ?a:ghat in Faranasi6 the lu(inous city
of pilgri(age6 as built on the site of ancient 'asi on the high groun! that arose
near the Sanga(6 the confluence of the ri8ers ;anga an! Faruna% ,t as here6 at
the (ost sacre! point of its :ourney to the sea6 that the ri8er took a great cur8e
an! sept north toar!s its source% ,t as here near the ancient site of the te(ple
A!i 'esa8a that the Bu!!ha6 ha8ing attaine! enlighten(ent at Bo!h ;aya6 is
likely to ha8e crosse! the sacre! ri8er6 tra8eling by ferry6 to set foot on the
ri8erbank% Along this ancient roa! of the pilgri( the Bu!!ha ha! alke! to the
!eer park at Sarnath to preach his first ser(on% #he ri8er Faruna bifurcate! the
lan!6 !i8i!ing urban Faranasi fro( the rural countrysi!e%
#hrough centuries the seers of this lan! ha! co(e to the banks of the ;anga
in 'asi an! left the see! of their teaching !or(ant in the soil% #he Bu!!ha6
'apila 3uni6 A!i ShankaraHthese great teachers ha! sat un!er the sha!e of
ancient gnarle! trees6 on the ghats or along the ri8erbank% #he 8illages ha! na(es
that bore testi(ony to their presence%
A city knon for learning an! seeking6 for skepticis( an! !oubt an! the har!
brilliance of the !ialectic (in!6 it as to 'asi that A!i Shankara ha! co(e to
establish his supre(acy% #hrough the centuries iconoclasts ha! sept through the
city6 !estroying te(ples an! shrinesG but the see! of !oubt6 of enCuiry6 an! the
essence of the great teachings6 hich resi!e! neither in te(ple nor in a single
book6 ha! been hel! by scholars an! priests% ,n secret concla8e6 they kept ali8e
an! resonant the petals of a perennial is!o(% Along the banks of this ri8er
!ialogue an! a probing into the ithin$ of nature an! (in! ha! e8ol8e!%
3ango an! nee( trees6 floering cork an! peepul gre on the ;anga>s
sacre! banks% ?uins of te(ples an! ashrams ere o8ergron ith plu(e! grass
an! il! creeper% A8ery !an 'rishna:i stoo! in !arkness on the 8eran!a of his
house an! atche! fire enter the rising sun6 creating the orl! ane% A boat
floate! past6 its sails unfurle!% Sollen carcassesHhu(an an! ani(al6 8ultures
sitting perche! on their bo!iesHere carrie! by the aters% A8erything as in
slo (otion6 peacefulG the (onsoon currents ha! en!e! ith their frenDy an!
!e8astation6 the aters like the poor people ho li8e! on its banks ha! !ignity6
hate8er their bur!en%
Achyut an! ?ao Sahib Patar!han6 3aurice 7rie!(an6 San:ee8a ?ao6
@an!ini6 an! , ith ?a!hika6 (y ten*year*ol! !aughter6 ere in Faranasi% A8ery
e8ening e ent for a alk ith 'rishna:i on the roa! of the pilgri(% #he hite
floers of the cork trees that bor!ere! the roa! to the ri8erbank ha! scattere!
their fragrance6 an! perfect hite blosso(s lay un!er our feet% #he rains ha! been
plentifulG the ri8er ha! o8erflon its banks an! the rickety ba(boo*an!*earthen
bri!ge that appeare! !uring the !ry (onths ha! not yet been erecte!% =e ha! to
cross the ri8er by ferry6 plie! by a boat(an% #he sense of the ne8er*changing
rhyth( of (an>s life as re8eale! in 'asi% A sense of the archaic per(eate! the
lan! an! the people% #he unen!ing past as (irrore! in the lithe6 !ark*skinne!
boat(en on the aters6 the o(en carrying ater pots on their hea!s6 the
fisher(en casting nets%
-ne e8ening6 a !oDen little chil!ren an! goats stoo! ith their her!s(en6
aiting for the ferry on the banks of the ri8er% 'rishna:i picke! up a baby goat6
the gesture sift6 naturalG his leap into the boat as sure an! preciseG the chil!ren
laughe! to see the little goat ag its tail an! nestle close to the gentle stranger%
=e crosse! the ri8er an! the bleating goat ent back to its (other%
Seeing a stone on the path6 'rishna:i oul! re(o8e it so that it (ight not hurt
the nake! foot of a 8illager% /e as atchful6 listening to the soun!s of the ri8er6
atching people ho passe!6 the aters6 trees6 bir!s6 an! the 8illage !ogs ho
barke! incessantly% /e oul! be Cuiet an! e oul! be Cuiet ith hi(%
-n one of his alks he spoke% 3an is6 because he is relate!G ithout
relationship6 (an is not% #o un!erstan! life you ha8e to un!erstan! yourself in
action6 in relationship to people6 property6 an! i!eas%$
/e turne! an! pointe! to the floing ri8er an! then to an ol! peepul tree%
3ost of us are not aare of our relationship to nature% =hen e see a tree e
see it ith a utilitarian 8ieHho to get to its sha!e6 ho to use its oo!%
Si(ilarly6 e treat the earth an! its pro!ucts% #here is no lo8e of the earth6 only a
usage of earth% ,f e lo8e! the earth there oul! be frugality of the things of the
earth% =e ha8e lost a sense of ten!erness6 of sensiti8ity% -nly in the reneal of
that can e un!erstan! hat is relationship% #hat sensiti8ity !oes not co(e by
hanging a fe pictures or by putting floers in your hair% ,t only co(es hen the
utilitarian attitu!e is put asi!e% #hen you no longer !i8i!e the earth6 then you no
longer call the earth yours or (ine%$
'rishna:i as gi8ing public talks at 'a((acha in the heart of the city% As in
all his talks the people ho atten!e! ere Bu!!hist (onks6 sannyasis6 the
!e8otees fro( the #heosophical Society ho still regar!e! 'rishna:i as the orl!
teacher6 tourists6 e!ucators6 an! a large nu(ber of young people ho ca(e out of
curiosity% #he great pandits of Faranasi6 steepe! in the tra!ition of learning6
gra((arians an! logicians6 tantricks an! !e8otees6 ere also there to listen to
this teacher ho !enie! all syste(s an! all gurus% So(e of the( (et hi( alone%
4ittle !iscussion as possible6 because of !ifficulties of language6 but ?ao an!
Achyut ere there to translate%
'rishna:i ha! nu(erous !iscussions ith the (e(bers of the ?ishi Falley
#rust6 ho (anage! the schools in Faranasi% =e !iscusse! the place of authority
an! fear in e!ucation% 'rishna:i eBpresse! his !issatisfaction ith the approach of
the (anage(ent of the e!ucational institutions an! the Cuality of the teachers at
?a:ghat% @o one Cuite un!erstoo! hat ha! to be !one% Pan!it ,Cbal @arain
;urtu6 a (uch respecte! citiDen of Faranasi6 ho for years ha! been connecte!
ith 3rs% Besant>s ork an! later ith 'rishna:i>s schools6 as fearful of
change% /e !ug his feet into the groun! an! !eclare! that any !rastic change
oul! be !isastrous% "ttar Pra!esh as ol!*fashione!6 tra!itional% -nly gra!ual
change as possible% #he or! gra!ual6$ hoe8er6 !i! not eBist in 'rishna:i>s
!ictionaryG action as i((e!iate6 arising out of seeing the fact of hat is%$ So
there ere (arathon (eetings%
#he ?ishi Falley #rust as being shaken to its roots% #he (e(bers6 sensing
'rishna:i>s concern at the state of the institutions6 sub(itte! their resignations
an! a ne group of (e(bers ere electe!%
,n 19+8 the ?ishi Falley #rust consiste! of to in!epen!ent institutionsHa
Chil!ren>s School at ?a:ghat6 a Boy>s School an! a =o(en>s College in the city
of 'a((acha6 ithin the #heosophical Society Co(poun!% Another e!ucational
co(pleB ha! been establishe! in the !eep south at ?ishi Falley in An!hra
Pra!esh6 here Subba ?ao as hea! of a coe!ucational resi!ential school% Subba
?ao6 a !e!icate! (an capable of arousing affection an! loyalty a(ongst his
stu!ents6 ha! built the school ith spartan si(plicity% 'rishna:i>s absence for
(any years6 an! the lack of a clear !irection as to the purpose of the school6 ha!
le! to a !eterioration of stan!ar!s at all le8els in both ?ishi Falley an! ?a:ghat%
#he teachers ere (e!iocre% ;o8ern(ent grants li(ite! all fleBibility or
possibility of change% Feste! interests ere entrenche! an! !eter(ine! to see
that the status Cuo continue!%
-n his return to Bo(bay fro( Faranasi in 3arch6 'rishna:i staye! at (y
resi!ence6 /i((at @i8as on 1ongersey ?oa!% ,t as a ra(bling flat ith
spacious roo(s an! high ceilings% #he spaces ha! !ignity6 an! 'rishna:i fille! it
ith his presenceG a Cuietu!e lingere! e8en hen he as absent%
A large nu(ber of 8isitors ca(e to (eet 'rishna:i% A(ongst the( as
3orar:i 1esai6 ho as then finance (inister of Bo(bay6 a state that at the ti(e
inclu!e! both ;u:arat an! 3aharashtra% 'rishna:i an! he !iscusse! the sacre!
books of ,n!ia% Sensing a certain s(ugness an! holier than thou$ attitu!e in
3orar:ibhai6
1
'rishna:i sai! that he ha! not rea! the Bhagavad :ita an! ha! no
use for sacre! books% 3orar:ibhai as horrifie!6 an! tol! (e later that he as
uni(presse!%
'rishna:i no felt strongly that the eBisting situation ith the ?ishi Falley
#rust an! the schools in ?a:ghat shoul! not be alloe! to continue% At a (eeting
on 7ebruary 86 19+96 'rishna:i as to say6 A school born of friction cannot be
creati8e% "nani(ity a(ongst the orkers is essential% #he school shoul! be
treate! as an organic hole% #here shoul! be concern ith ho to (ake the
center ali8e% A !ea! center can only pro!uce !ea! institutions% ,f people are
really intereste!6 ?a:ghat cannot re(ain ith the status Cuo%$
,t as at this (eeting that the !ecision as taken that ?ao Sahib Patar!han
oul! go an! ork in ?a:ghat% /e ent there a fe (onths later% #he situation
nee!e! !eep uprooting of crystaliDe! structures6 (entally an! physically% ?a:ghat
nee!e! an eBplosion% But ?ao Sahib as hesitant% Aither he as not prepare!
passionately to locate the proble(6 gi8ing it the one pointe! energy the situation
!e(an!e!6 or he !i! not kno ho to tackle the proble(% /is (in!6 caught in
structures6 sought alternati8es% /e !i! not percei8e that the negating of the
eBisting situation oul! thro up the ne% Anergy6 ith its !ri8ing passion6 an!
a clea8ing 8ision ere nee!e! in ?a:ghat% ?ao Sahib (a!e frien!s6 he as ar(
an! affectionate6 e8eryone lo8e! hi(G ,Cbal @arain ;urtu6 the tough !oyen of
?a:ghat6 as his close frien!% But so(ething in his personal life6 or his incapacity
to aban!on his i!eals an! li8e in uncertainty6 (a!e any creati8e action
i(possible% At the en! of the year ?ao Sahib returne! to Poona6 an! ?a:ghat
continue! to be a (irror of the stagnation that ha! hel! Faranasi for centuries%
-ne (orning in early 19+9 a tiny6 sha8en*hea!e! figure !resse! in saffron
robes rang the bell at the !oors of /i((at @i8as% She ga8e her na(e as
Chin(oyee% #he ser8ant ho ha! ansere! the bell coul! not tell hether it as
a boy or a girl6 an! ca(e to (e to say that a sa(i as at the !oor% 'noing
'rishna:i>s special affection for the sannyasi an! for the saffron robe6 , tol! '
an! he (et Chin(oyee i((e!iately% She as to return again%
#he story of her life sy(boliDes one i(portant aspect of the ,n!ian ethos6 in
hich the re8olutionary spirit an! religion integrate% Chin(oyee6 hose original
na(e as #apas6 ca(e fro( a fa(ily of Bengali re8olutionaries% /er father an!
brother ha! !ie! in :ail% /er (other ha! orke! in an e!ucational institution an!
brought up her to !aughters% Accor!ing to a close frien! of #apas6 She as a
brilliant (athe(atician an! a keen stu!ent of astrono(y%$
1
Bhai (eans brother in ;u:arati% ,t is a suffiB attache! to the na(e of an el!er person as a ter( of respect%
,n =estern ,n!ia a first na(e is rarely use! for a (an or o(an% ,n ;u:arat6 %hai is use! ith the first
na(e for a (an6 %"h"n or sister for a o(an% ,t is the eCui8alent of the @orth ,n!ian Oji>%
After gra!uating6 she as for so(e ti(e hea!(istress of the Sister @i8e!ita
School in Calcutta% She ha! alays ante! to lea! a religious life6 an! after her
(other>s !eath6 at the age of thirty*four6 she left ho(e in search of a sannyas
guru% She spent so(e ti(e in the ?a(akrishna 3ission6 an! siB (onths in
Anan!(ai 3a>s ashram% 4ife in these places !i! not satisfy her% She spent her
ti(e in Faranasi (eeting scholars like ;opinath 'a8ira: an! ;obin! ;opal
3ookher:ee%
,t as at this ti(e that she (et the great scholar saint of Bengal6 Anir8an:i%
/e agree! to be her sannyas guru an! ga8e her the na(e Chin(oyee% 7or the
neBt four years she as ith hi(6 helping hi( first ith his ork of translating
the !"das6 an! then Shri Aurobin!o>s +if" 'ivin" into Bengali% #hey ere then
li8ing in Al(ora6 in "ttar Pra!esh% ,t as in connection ith collecting fun!s for
the publication of Anir8an:i>s orks that she ent to Bo(bay% A frien!
suggeste! she go to hear 'rishna(urti6 ho as then gi8ing talks in Bo(bay%
She ent to hear hi( an! then sought an inter8ie%
#hat inter8ie see(s to ha8e change! her hole beingHit certainly change!
her hole life% Back in Al(ora6 she procee!e! to arrange affairs for Anir8an:iG
an! as soon as she coul! han! o8er her !uties to another6 she left hi(% She
resu(e! her original na(e6 #apas6 an! ga8e up the saffron robes%
Co(pletely on her on6 so(e inner urge pro(pte! her to un!ertake a trip to
'ailash an! 3anasaro8ar 4ake in #ibet that first su((er6 sacre! sites of
pilgri(age% 'ailash6 a cone*shape! (ountain6 is regar!e! as the abo!e of Shi8a
an! his consort Par8ati% 3anasaro8ar 4ake is situate! to one si!e of 'ailash% #he
aDure aters of this lake are cal(6 an! (ythical sans are belie8e! to appear on
its aters% #he :ourney to 'ailash is fraught ith great !angers% M#he route to
'ailash fro( the #ibetan si!e has recently been opene! to pilgri(s by the
;o8ern(ent of China%N Alone an! unacco(panie!6 she set out on a (ost
haDar!ous :ourney through passes o8er 186<<< feet high6 :oining a party of
pilgri(s only hen she as no longer per(itte! to tra8el alone%
,n 19)< she returne! to see 'rishna:i% She as unrecogniDable2 =earing a
hite kurta an! py:a(a6 her gray*flecke! hair ha! gron shoul!er length% She
ca(e to 'rishna:i an! sai!6 , ha8e co(e%$ /e replie!6 ;oo!$G an! she sloly
beca(e part of his surroun!ings%
,n the years to co(e she oul! tra8el to e8ery part of ,n!ia here 'rishna:i
spoke2 in ti(e she began to look after 'rishna:i>s ar!robe% She oul! slip into
the house unnotice! an! (ake herself in8isibleHe8en to the eBtent of hi!ing
behin! !oorsHunpack 'rishna:i>s bags6 ash an! iron his clothes6 arrange the(
in the cupboar!6 an! potter aroun!% #hough #apas herself only ore hite6 she
ha! !e8elope! a fine sense of color% ,t as she ho got her frien!s to buy natural
honey*colore! cottons an! teBture! bark*colore! il! silks for 'rishna:i>s
kurtas% She transfor(e! his ar!robe ith an unusual eye for the rare an!
beautiful% But she as fiercely possessi8e of her role% #he slightest !isor!er in
the roo( as correcte! an! the ser8ants concerne! ere spoken to se8erely%
#hey regar!e! her as a terrorG but #apas6 being a sannyasin6 ipe! aay all
irritation6 anger ithin the(% #hey touche! her feet an! carrie! on% She sat
through !iscussions but ne8er participate!6 though her frien!s tell (e that she
ha! !eep un!erstan!ing of the teaching an! use! to speak to s(all groups
here8er she ent%
=hen 'rishna:i as not in ,n!ia she oul! !isappear into the (ountains
alone6 unafrai!Hin the centuries*ol! tra!ition6 she as a an!erer% ,t as
i(possible to !eter(ine her age% ,n the tenty*fi8e years , kne her she har!ly
age!% She e8entually fell ill ith an illness that coul! not be !iagnose!% /er bo!y
gra!ually aste! aay6 an! she !ie! of a heart attack in 1996%
@an!ini>s proble(s ith her husban!6 Bhagan 3ehta6 ere approaching
crisis% A fe (onths after (eeting 'rishna:i6 she ha! tol! her husban! she
ante! to lea! a celibate life% ,ne8itably6 the situation eBplo!e!% Sir Chunilal
3ehta as beil!ere!6 torn beteen his son an! his guruG for it as uni8ersally
belie8e! that 'rishna:i>s teaching ha! influence! @an!ini an! le! her to cease
her physical relationship ith her husban!% ,t as assu(e! that @an!ini as
i((ature an! that her intention as born out of this i((aturity% Sir Chunilal
sought 'rishna:i>s inter8ention6 hoping that 'rishna:i oul! persua!e @an!ini to
change her (in!G or6 gi8en ti(e an! ith 'rishna:i>s absence6 @an!ini>s
capricious !ecision oul! change% But the situation coul! not be !efuse!%
,t is not (y intention to eBplore the (arital inci!ents that ere to lea! to an
eBplosion in (y sister>s ho(e% #he situation as (a!e for hispers an! gossip6
an! the elite$ in the 8ast (etropolitan city ere agitate!% 3en looke! afresh at
their i8es6 the clans close! in% #he eyes of the !ellers of 3alabar /ill turne!
to the huge6 ra(bling house on ?i!ge ?oa!6 furnishe! ith the trappings of a
rich (erchant prince6 rich for generations6 here o(en kept their hea!s
co8ere! an! singing as taboo% 4a!y Chunilal6 @an!ini>s (other*in*la6 as a
iDene! ol! la!y ith a gri(6 tightly shut (outh an! fe or!s% She ha! tol!
@an!ini after her (arriage that a o(an>s 8oice shoul! not be hear!6 an! that
she as not suppose! to laughG she coul! s(ile6 so long as her teeth ere not
seen% An! abo8e all6 the eyes of the city turne! to 'rishna(urti%
-n the night of the festi8al of /oli6 hen the fires ha! been lit6 the situation
beteen husban! an! ife eBplo!e!% /er chil!ren ere taken fro( her6 an!
@an!ini fle!% At (i!night she ca(e to (y (other>s house6 har!ly a hun!re!
yar!s fro( the house of Sir Chunilal 3ehta% Bruise! in spirit an! bo!y6
anguishe! by the loss of her chil!ren6 the neBt (orning she ca(e to
'rishna(urti%
1ue to lea8e ithin the neBt fe !ays6 he tol! her6 Stan! alone% ,f you ha8e
acte! out of the !epths of self*knoing because you feel in yourself that hat
you ha8e !one is right6 then thro yourself on life% ,ts ater ill hol! you6 carry
you6 an! sustain you% But if you ha8e been influence!6 then ;o! help you% #he
guru has !isappeare!%$
@an!ini as penniless% /er chil!ren ha! been taken aay fro( her an! she
ha! little support6 for (y father as !ea!% She ha! either to go back to her
husban!6 or separate an! face the conseCuences% 3y (other6 struggling against
e8ents that ere !estroying her6 ent to 'rishna:i an! spoke to hi( of the bur!en
she felt unable to carry% /e tol! her to lay !on her bur!ens% #hey ere his
responsibility% She ept6 but his or!s ha! Cuenche! her fears%
Aare of the conseCuences that oul! follo any (o8e toar! legal
separation6 , ent to 'rishna:i an! tol! hi( that although @an!ini ha! !eci!e!
that she oul! not return to her ol! ho(e6 un!er no circu(stances coul! e
allo any legal action6 hich oul! be necessary to settle the Cuestion of the
custo!y of the chil!ren% , sai! that as @an!ini>s husban! ha! no other eBcuse6
'rishna:i>s na(e as boun! to be brought in as ha8ing influence! @an!ini in her
action of renouncing seB% /e looke! at (e a long ti(e an! then he aske!6 Are
you trying to protect (e5$ /e then raise! his to ar(s in a significant gesture%
#here are far greater beings ho protect (e% 1o not falter6 !o hat is right for
@an!ini an! the chil!ren% #he chil!ren are i(portant% ,t !oes not (atter hether
she ins or loses6 if it is right6 fight%$
Soon @an!ini file! a suit against her husban! for legal separation an! custo!y
of the chil!ren6 on the groun!s of cruelty% /er !aughter as nine6 her el!er son
se8en6 an! the youngest son three years ol!% #he case ca(e up for hearing in the
autu(n of 19+9% By then 'rishna:i ha! co(e back fro( -:aiHfirst to 3a!ras6
an! later he as in Ceylon an! then ?a:a(un!ry6 An!hra Pra!esh% 4ong
passages fro( 'rishna:i>s public talks ere Cuote! by Bhagan 3ehta>s
layers% 'rishna:i ha! pointe! out in the talks at Bo(bay an! Poona the
hypocrisy of ,n!ian society6 the (oral stances of religious teachers an!
househol!ers6 the inferior position of the o(an an! her bon!age to her husban!
an! his fa(ily% 'rishna:i ha! been passionate6 earnest6 !eeply concerne!% A
nu(ber of o(en ha! sought inter8ies ith hi( in Bo(bay6 Poona6 an!
3a!ras an! ha! 8oice! their anguish6 their sorros6 an! their inability to break
free%
#he layers atte(pte! to pro8e influence6 an! use! these teachings to
strengthen their case% ,t as a grotesCue situation% A ife as suing her husban!
for legal separation an! long passages fro( religious ser(ons ere being
presente! as e8i!ence%
@an!ini>s father*in*la6 though he supporte! his son6 as not prepare! to say
a or! against his guru% =hen6 !uring the cross*eBa(ination6 he as aske!
hether he resente! @an!ini>s association ith 'rishna:i6 Sir Chunilal 3ehta
:u(pe! fro( his chair an! sai! in a lou! 8oice6 @e8er6 he is the greatest of the
great%$
Accor!ing to hi( it as @an!ini6 ai!e! an! abette! by her sister6 Pupul
Jayakar6 ho ere at fault% /e pointe! to @an!ini>s (isbeha8ior in Poona% =hen
Cuestione!6 he sai! that in Poona the sisters laughe! a great !eal an! @an!ini !i!
not co8er her face ith her sari an! ha! insiste! on sitting to the right of
'rishna:i% /er beha8ior6 accor!ing to Sir Chunilal 3ehta6 ha! cause! anBiety
a(ongst the el!ers aroun! 'rishna:i%
But throughout the hearings not one or! as sai! that as suggesti8e or
i(proper% #he e(phasis as on influence an! its role on a young i((ature
(in!%
#he :u!ge in the Bo(bay /igh Court listene! to the argu(ents an! the
counterargu(ents in @an!ini>s plea for separation% Justice =eston as a
Bo(bay ci8ilian6 an! for hi( it as unthinkable that any 8iolence coul! occur in
the renone! fa(ily of Sir Chunilal 3ehta6 '%C%S%,%
1
3y father6 ho ha! li8e! his life in hat as then the "nite! Pro8inces6 as
!ea!6 an! his fa(ily little knon in Bo(bay% #he :u!ge hel! that the plea for
separation on groun!s of cruelty as not pro8e! in the /igh Court of Bo(bay6
an! the co(plaint as !is(isse!% #he chil!ren6 ho ere un!er te(porary
custo!y ith @an!ini6 ere taken aay by her husban!% =e sent a telegra( to
'rishna:i6 gi8ing hi( the nes% ,n his reply6 he sai!6 =hate8er ill be is right%$
Se8eral Cueries ha! arisen a(ongst people close to 'rishna:i hether he
shoul! speak !uring 7ebruary an! 3arch of 19)< in Bo(bay% @an!ini ha!
appeale! the !is(issal of her suit by Justice =eston to the Bo(bay /igh Court6
an! the city as still astir ith gossip%
,t as finally !eci!e! in consultation ith ?atansi 3orar:i that 'rishna:i
shoul! speak in Bo(bay% /e rote fro( 3a!ras on 1ece(ber 19% So you can
go an! (ake necessary arrange(ents% ,f possible6 not a hall6 but an open space6
not a rich (an>s house6 this ti(e% ,sn>t there so(e Cuiet open space6 a pleasant
spot6 central an! all that5 /alls are terrible an! , !on>t feel co(fortable in the(%$
At the ti(e6 no open spaces ere a8ailable% =e arrange! for his public
(eetings on the terrace of Sun!erbai /all6 hich as open to the sky% #he
nu(ber of people atten!ing the public (eetings ha! !ouble!6 but the rich
socialites an! in!ustrialists ith their i8es ere conspicuously absent%
-n his return to Bo(bay6 'rishna:i (et (any of his ol! associates% #here as
no special sy(pathy in his attitu!e to @an!ini% /e (et her alone se8eral ti(es6
an! refuse! to allo her space in the (in! for self*pity% /e as relentless in his
!e(an! that she face the fact that one life as o8er an! she ha! to aake to the
ne% But his concern an! co(passion for @an!ini>s chil!ren as li(itless%
=hene8er possible6 @an!iniHithout the knole!ge of her eB*husban!Houl!
bring the chil!ren to see 'rishna:i% /e oul! lay his han!s on the eyes of the
el!er boy6 ho ha! been tol! by the !octors that he oul! ne8er see nor(ally6 as
the optic ner8e of one eye ha! not !e8elope!% #he eye i(pro8e! an!6 in years to
co(e6 ;hanashya( 3ehta as to take his !octorate in econo(ics fro( the
"ni8ersity of California at Berkeley6 an! oul! later teach in Australia at the
"ni8ersity of Brisbane%
?ao Sahib an! Achyut ere in Bo(bay an! ca(e e8ery (orning to ?atansi>s
house to see 'rishna:i% #he (aster as !eter(ine! to kin!le an aakening in
?ao% -ne (orning hen e ha! gathere!6 'rishna:i sai! in the (i!st of a
!iscussion6 4et us see hether e can stay in the pause beteen to thoughts%$
?ao Sahib looke! skeptical6 Achyut ary% 'rishna:i began to challenge ?ao>s
(in!6 refusing to let it escape into concepts% 'rishna:i as pushing ?ao6 blocking
the (in!6 forcing ?ao to !o nothing ith it6 to see hat is%$
=e ere in the sa(e strea( as ?aoG the refusal to let thought escape6 or to
change it6 create! an intensity of energy in the (in!% -n an instant6 unable to
an!er6 hel! by the energy of the Cuestion6 the (in! let go an! there it as2 the
poise6 the no*an!ering6 the en! of thought6 an! of the sense of ti(e as !uration%
1
'night Co((an!er of the Star of ,n!ia6 one of the highest titles aar!e! by the British%
?ao>s eBpression6 hich ha! been blank an! stubborn in its refusal to be
carrie! aay by 'rishna:i6 su!!enly lit up% /is face relaBe! an! there as clarity
in his eyes%
'rishna:i !i! this again an! againG breaking through the frontiers of
consciousness6 through thought en!ing itself6 fin!ing no !oor through hich to
escape%
=e took 'rishna:i by (otorboat to the Alephanta Ca8es% ,t as a night of the
full (oonG a night hen the planet 3ars as to 8anish behin! the (oon for a
(inuteG to ree(erge ith unsullie! brilliance%
#he rays of the setting sun penetrate! an! re8eale! the colors hel! in the rock%
-ut of the tilight of the ca8e loo(e! the face of the three*hea!e! go!6 ith eyes
that ere neither open nor close!G still eyes aake to the outer an! inner% #he
loer lip as full an! sensuous% -ut of the rising soun! of the archaic Sanskrit
chants6 the sculptor ha! create! the (e!itation of the uni8erse% 'rishna:i stoo!
before the sculpture6 silent for a long ti(e% /e then turne! an! sai! he oul!
ha8e like! to ha8e spent a night in the ca8e% ?ao Patar!han su!!enly starte! to
chant Sankaracharya>s hy(n to Shi8aG that Being$ that is6 hen all Cualities are
negate!% 'rishna:i6 !eeply arouse! by the Cuality of soun!6 as in a state of
ecstasy% As e returne! to the boat6 he kept asking Achyut6 here it ha! gone6
the energy an! creati8ity that ha! (a!e (anifest the 3ahesh(urti5
1
=hy as
,n!ia so !ea! to all creation5
#he (oon as rising as e alke! back% Chil!ren fro( the 8illage ha!
gathere!6 offering us floers an! asking for (oney% 'rishna:i trie! to talk to
the(G shoe! the( his e(pty pockets6 turne! to us an! ishe! us to gi8e the(
so(e (oney% /e laughe! ith the( an!6 taking the han! of a little chil!6 alke!
ith hi( to the boat% ,n the boat e all trie! to gli(pse 3ars e(erging fro(
behin! the (oon% 'rishna:i ent on the top !eck an! at last sa it6 a (inute
speck% #here it isQ$ he crie! eBcite!ly6 like a chil!%
,n the (orning (eetings 'rishna:i probe! !eeper an! !eeper an! e coul!
(o8e ith hi(% #he (in! felt flui!% , hear! the or!s ithout 8erbal responses
Hthere as a floing of soun!6 or!6 an! content% , coul! actually ha8e counte!
the nu(ber of thoughts that arose in those to hours e spent ith 'rishna:i
e8ery (orning%
1
#he 3ahesh(urti$ Mse8enth century A%1%N is a soaring i(age in stone of Shi8a as the great go!6
sculpture! ith three facesHthe creator6 the preser8er6 an! the !estroyerHsy(boliDing the three aspects
of the supre(e go!hea!% #he 3ahesh(urti is car8e! ithin a 8ast ca8e an! surroun!e! by sculptures
!epicting episo!es fro( Shi8a>s (yths% Soun! an! for( beco(e one to create this subli(e (anifestation%
CHAPTER 15
#he 3in! -perating
as Part of the =hole
,s An!less%$
=hile 'rishna:i as in Bo(bay6 a s(all group of people consisting of ?ao
Sahib6 Achyut6 3aurice 7rie!(an6 the /onorable 3rs% 4ucille 7rost Man
Anglisho(an an! a long*ti(e stu!ent of Jung ho ha! (et 'rishna:i hile in
Sri 4anka an! acco(panie! hi( to ,n!iaN6 @an!ini6 an! , soon gathere! to hol!
!iscussions ith 'rishna:i% 7ro( these !iscussions ere to e(erge the first of the
series of 'rishna:i>s great ,n!ian !ialogues% A ne !i(ension as being a!!e! to
his teaching6 a (o8e(ent hich in its (o(entu( as to free the (in! fro( its
ol! groo8es%
=e ha! been !iscussing the (in! an! (e(ory6 an! 'rishna:i raise! a
Cuestion% /e ha! aoken in the night at about three o>clock6 feeling a surge of
:oy that eBplo!e! ithin hi(% ,t see(e! to spring fro( the heart of silence% /e
lay in be! ith it6 an! then consciousness arose an! the eBperience ha! been
na(e!% #he (in!*consciousness re(e(bere!% /o !i! the (in!6 hich as
absent in the eBperiencing of that state6 re(e(ber5
,t as suggeste! that the superior (in! ha! eBperience! the :oy an! the
silence% 'rishna:i sai!6 Any postulation of a superior (in! is but another
pro:ection of the (in!% #he suggestion is har!ly a!eCuate% Aither that state of
silence as falseHa pro:ection of the (in!Hor it as real%$ /e pause!% /o
!i! the (in! re(e(ber5 #he (in! is cause an! effect6 it is caught in ti(e6 it has
a beginning an! an en!% 3in! can ne8er eBperience that hich is ithout cause6
the ti(eless6 that hich has no beginning an! no en!% #he state this (orning as
ithout cause% /o !i! the (in!6 hich is both cause an! effect6 li(ite!6
re(e(ber the causelessHthe li(itless5$
So(eone suggeste! that hat the (in! re(e(bere! as not the eBperience6
but the aking fro( it% 'rishna:i sai!6 ,n silence hat is there to eBperience5
Silence can only eBperience silence% Can silence lea8e an i(print5$
Perhaps6 then6 hat the (in! felt as the glo of being !ippe! in the silence%
'rishna:i sai!6 #here is an eBperience of silence an! the (in! re(e(bers the
feel6 the perfu(e6 the essenceG ho !oes the (in! re(e(ber5 Consciousness is
the thought of the (o(ent before6 or the (o(ent after% #hought is alays of the
(o(ent or (any (o(ents before% #hought is the result of a sti(ulus%$ /e let his
or!s sink in6 let the (in! of his listeners pon!er6 (o8e ith hi(%
=e li8e in cause an! effect6 constantly rearranging the(% =e re:ect our
backgroun!6 our past of yester!ay an! of thousan!s of years6 ithout being e8en
aare that the past e re:ect is an aspect that lies !eep ithin% An! so the
backgroun! re(ains un!isco8ere! an! is alays in conflict6 in contra!iction%
1o e see that consciousness is ne8er in Othe no>6 that it is alays a
pro:ection6 a backar! or forar! (o8e(ent5 #hat it is ne8er in the present%$
/e as aske!6 /o !oes (an un!erstan! this5$ "n!erstan!ing of the
Ono> can ne8er be through thought6 through consciousness6$ 'rishna:i replie!%
/e looke! at ?ao Sahib% =hat is the state of the (in! hen it sees this5$
#he (in! refuses to accept it as a fact6$ sai! ?ao%
But it is a fact% #he (in! cannot un!erstan! the Ono> hich is the ne% ,t is
a fact6 like a all is a fact% =hat !o you !o hen you are face! ith a all5 &ou
!o not say you cannot accept it as a fact% =hat happens hen you see as a fact
that the (in! cannot un!erstan! the Ono5> =hat is the state of your (in!5$
,t is silentHthought has cease!6$ , offere!%
;o into it% =hat happens hen the (in! sees the fact that thought has
cease! an! yet there is (o8e(ent6 a free!o(5$
, see it an! thought has cease!6 an! yet , hear your 8oice6 a sensory
perception continues%$
, see you% , hear your 8oice% 3in! as thought is not there an! yet sensory
perception continues6 is present% -nly i!entification has cease!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#he neBt (orning e again !iscusse! consciousness%
7irst co(es the layer of e8ery!ay acti8ityHeating6 going to the office6
!rinking6 (eeting people6 the con!itione! habits that operate auto(atically% ,t is
ob8iously a static state that confor(s to a pattern%
=hen one>s routine is !isturbe!6 this surface layer ceases for an instant an!
hat is belo re8eals itself% 7or con8enience e ill call this the secon! layer
Mof course6 since consciousness is nonspatial6 it cannot be accurate to use ter(s
in!icating layer or le8elN% #he thinking that e(erges fro( this layer is still
con!itione! (e(ory6 but it is not as auto(atic as the surface layer% ,t is (ore
acti8e6 (ore elasticG it has (ore nuances% /ere thought nee! not confor( so
co(pletely to pattern6 it has (ore 8itality% #he neBt layer is con!itione! by like6
!islike6 choosing6 :u!ging6 i!entifying% /ere there is the sense of the ego
establishe! an! in focus%
At this point 'rishna:i stoppe! an! sai!6 /o ha8e you been listening5 /o
!o you enCuire5 /o !oes the (in! function5$
, ha8e been !ra(atiDing it6$ sai! ?ao%
, ha8e been atching (y responses6$ , sai!%
'rishna:i>s response as i((e!iate% @o6 you are rong%$
Surely6 hat else can you !o5$ Cuerie! ?ao% An! then one gre aare of the
intensity of 'rishna:i>s aareness6 ho he listene! to e8ery responseG 'rishna:i>s
(in! sense! that our atching as another repetition6 another (e(ory% /e
si(ply kne hether the state one spoke of as born of insight or as another
repetition%
'rishna:i sai!6 , ha8e not been thinking about it% #here has been no !el8ing
into the past6 into (e(ory to fin! the neBt response% #he responses ha8e arisen
by the 8ery perception of the fact%$ /e pushe! further%
@eBt co(e the unconscious (e(ories of the in!i8i!ual an! the collecti8e6
the ten!encies6 the forces6 the urges6 the racial instinctsG this is the hole netork
of !esire6 the (atriB of !esire% #here is an eBtraor!inary (o8e(ent here% #he ego
is still functioningHego as !esire (o8ing in its patterns of cause an! effect% #he
ego as !esire that continues% #he ego ith its unconscious ten!encies that
reincarnate% 4et us push still further%$ /e pause! an! pon!ere!% Can e push
further5 ,s there anything further5 ,s it that the knon !i(ension has en!e!5 ,s
this the be!rock of the ego5 ,s this the structure of consciousness6 of the (in!
an! its content5$
So(eone aske!6 =hat sustains it5$
'rishna:i as silent% After a fe (o(ents6 he sai!6 ,ts on (o8e(ent6 its
on functioning% =hat lies belo5 /o can one procee!6 go beyon! the
(atriB5$
Shut off the (in!6$ sai! ?ao%
=ho shuts off the (in!5 /e ho is the (in!5$ 'rishna:i respon!e! siftly%
#hen hat is the ay5 Seeing the fact of consciousnessHnot the or!6 not the
theory6 but the fact of itHis en!ing not possible5 Again6 hate8er , !o to (o8e
toar! the other is of effort an! so !estroys it% , cannot !esire it% , can !o nothing
eBcept be in!ifferent to it% An! concern (yself ith the ego6 ith hat , a(6 an!
(y proble(s%$
-ne (orning 'rishna:i sai!6 Can e go into consciousness again5 &ester!ay
e ha! gone into it fro( the point on the periphery to the center% ,t as like
going !on a funnel% Coul! e to!ay go fro( the center to the point on the
periphery5 Coul! e (o8e fro( the inar! out5 Coul! e approach
consciousness fro( the center5$
,s there a center5$ aske! ?ao%
#he center is only hen there is focusing of attention% #he center is for(e!
hen periphery is agitate!% #he center is for(e! as a point on the periphery%
#hese peripheral points are one>s na(e6 one>s property6 one>s ife6 fa(e% #hese
points are constantly being strengthene!% #here is (o8e(ent all the ti(e at the
peripheral points% #here is a constant fear of the breaking of these points%$
Can , li8e ithout the for(ation of centers5$ aske! ?ao%
,f , start fro( the center6 to in8estigate6 here is the center fro( hich to
start5 #here is no center6 but only the fiel!% ABcept for the periphery there is no
center% #he fences to the fiel! create the center% , only kno the center because of
the fence6 the periphery% #he fences are the points of attention6 the li(its that
create the center% ?e(o8e these fences% =here is the center5$
Can one re(o8e the fences5$ , Cuerie!%
,f you (o8e in the fiel!6 in the non*center6 there is no (e(ory% See hat
happens as you (o8e fro( fiel! toar!s fence% As you approach the fence6
(e(ory begins%
So far e ha8e been thinking fro( the periphery to the center% #he thinking
fro( this Mnon*centerN (ust be totally !ifferent% , ha8e to get use! to the
(o8e(ent fro( ithin toar!s the periphery%$
=hat happens to the points5$ , aske!%
,t is like slipping un!er an! through fences% #he fences no longer (atter% #o
see the point at the periphery is to see no point at all% =hat e !o6 hoe8er6 is to
:u(p i((e!iately into the periphery6 into the habitual% , cannot for( a habit of
that hich has no center%
#o go fro( the periphery to the center is to stick in the center% =hen
attention beco(es i!entifie! it beco(es the point% #hinking in habit is the
(o8e(ent of the periphery% #here is no point fro( hich , can recogniDe point%
#o kno the center it (ust be relate! to point% , can only kno it if , approach it
fro( the periphery%
#he (ore , stay in the fiel!6 , see there is no center%$
#he neBt (orning the !iscussion continue!% =e aske! 'rishna:i6 =hat is the
periphery5 /o is it for(e!5 /o are fences (a!e5 Are they !ifferent (aterial
fro( the pointless center5$
=hy !o you stay at periphery5 =hy cannot you stay in the fiel!6 seeing its
flora an! fauna6 its perfu(e5 =hy are you concerne! ith the fence5$ he
respon!e!%
, ha8e been torturing (yself to fin! out% #he hole thing see(s un*
un!erstan!able% Achyut tol! (e that , shoul! take it playfully6$ sai! 3rs% 7rost%
&ou are taking ti(e6 effort6 hy5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
Because (y (in! is like a stone all%$
=hy5 =hat is rong5 4isten to hat is rong6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
3y thoughts6$ 3rs% 7rost respon!e!%
=hich (eans you ha8e a pattern in hich you ant it eBplaine!% &our
or!s are hin!ering you% #he stone all of i!eas6 or!s to hich you are
accusto(e!% =hy !on>t you let go5$
, !on>t kno ho6$ 3rs% 7rost proteste!%
=hy5 #o you6 thinking is i(portant% &ou are lost hen you cannot think
along your groo8es% 7orget all that6 play ith it% See if e can start6 not fro( the
stone all but fro( the non*center% =hat is the !ifficulty5$
, a( perfectly aare e ha8e not got to that stage%$ 3rs% 7rost as agitate!%
#here is no stage% =hy !o you hol! on to the periphery an! then ant to go
to the center5 =ipe out the state% ,t is too full at the periphery% 4et it go% Begin as
if you ere entering a ne roo(% &ou see periphery an! ant to procee! to
create center% &ou call it ;o! an! approach it% But there is no center ithout
periphery% &ou cannot think apart fro( the thinking habit% &ou can ne8er think
ane% 1ifficulty lies not in the fiel!6 but ith the periphery% ,t is the si(ple (in!
that sees this%$
7ro( the periphery it is like seeing through a telescope% Being in the fiel! is
flui!ity6$ co((ente! @an!ini%
=hat is the point5 ,!entifie! attention5 =hat is the fence5 =hat is the fence
hen you approach it fro( the pointless point5 ,t is stoppage of (o8e(ent% ,f
there is the floing fiel!6 is not the fiel! of the sa(e Cuality as (o8e(ent
arreste!6 as the fence5 #he stoppages of (o8e(ent are points along the fence% ,
a( still insi!e the fiel!%
&ester!ay after the !iscussion , slept% As , as beginning to ake up6 there
as a co(ing fro( afar to a point of elaborate !esign% , lay atching !esignHit
took (e a long ti(e to atch it% #hen it !isappeare! an! , ca(e to% 3o8e(ent
hen arreste! for(s !esign6 beco(es point fro( hich , act% Sorro is the result
of stoppage of (o8e(ent an! the (o8e(ent aay fro( it% ,f , see that the point
is of the sa(e substance as the fiel!6 there is no struggle% ,f there is a li8ing in the
pointless center6 the stoppage is the point% ,t is in fighting point ith point that
e strengthen it6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat creates point5 ,s it that the sa(e flui! crystaliDes5$ , aske!%
,s it sub:ect to pressureHto a counterforce5$ aske! ?ao%
,s not your flo an! (y flo the sa(e5$ sai! 'rishna:i%
7rie!(an aske!6 =hy !oes the i(pe!i(ent arise5 ,s it unreal6 false5$
=hy !oes it happen5 #enty things are happening aroun! (e% So(eti(es
there is eBtensi8e seeingG so(eti(es it is li(ite!6$ sai! ?ao%
@o center (eets i(pe!i(ent6 ner8ous responses of the bo!y% =hy not5
#hese (ay be :ust bo!y reactions% &ou ask (e a Cuestion an! , anser you
accor!ing to (y con!itioningHhich arrests the flo% #his con!itioning is the
result of the en8iron(ent acting on the bo!y an! its responses% ,f the flo is
arreste!H, accept arrestationHlife is like that6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is arrestation5$ aske! ?ao%
,t is attention focusing% #he ri8er su!!enly co(es beteen to banks an!
the flo narros !on%
#he fiel! has no point6 no li(itG it is 8ast an! li(itless% 7ocuse! attention is
the narroing !on% =hy !o e stay there at the point5 #hat is the Cuestion% #he
(o(ent you ask (e so(ething6 a point (ust for(% But hy !o e allo it to
crystaliDe5$ /e as silent an! then spoke sloly6 telling us to contact his (in!%
#he 8ast fiel! has no positi8e state% ,n soli!ity there is the positi8e% #he non*
center state is negation% #his negation is challenge! an! there is positi8e action%
#his positi8e state creates its opposite%$
/as the positi8e state its on (o(entu(5$ aske! ?ao%
#he real solution lies in a fiel! of negation% ,f e (o8e aay fro( this fiel!
e are lost% ,f e enter the point to eBa(ine it6 e are lost% 4ook at it fro( the
fiel! of negation% =hy !oes crystaliDation take place5$ /e pause!6 Cuestioning
hi(self% ,s this a rong Cuestion5 CrystaliDation is ine8itable6 a fact% 3y
!ifficulty is6 hy !oes the (in! stay in crystaliDation5 =hen , see the negati8e
approach , a( free of crystaliDation6 free of the point% , accept friction as
ine8itable an! (o8e on%$
,s it because e see our flo as separate that the trouble starts5$ ?ao aske!%
,f negation as there it oul! ha8e an anser% 3y proble( is6 hy !on>t ,
stay in a state of negation5 #he !anger is , a( constantly eighing this ith that%
#he fools enter the king!o(6 not the cautious6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
'rishna:i sai!6 =hat is the energy of the fiel!5 =hat place has energy in this
e call consciousness5 =e kno the acti8ity of narroing !on% =e kno fear6
ant6 subli(ation6 e kno the 8arious reasons an! causes for i!entification%
=hat is this energy5 -b8iously this energy has no enclose! space6 no fence6
no opposites% #he fiel! is energy%$
=hen e atte(pt to eBa(ine this energy the eBa(iner beco(es the point6$
sai! ?ao%
=hat is silence5 4et us approach this energy !ifferently% =hat is silence5
Are you being silent5 /o !o you fin! out hat silence is5 Are you being noisy5
/o !o you kno you are silent5$
Silence is the pointless flo of the fiel!6$ sai! ?ao%
1on>t !efine it% 1o , see silence5 1o , eBperience it5 Can , say as an
obser8er6 O#his is silence>5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#here is silence hen , a( not focuse!6$ sai! ?ao%
=hat !o you (ean by focuse!5 1on>t 8erbaliDe it% Just see hat silence is
an! ho you see it6 ho you eBperience it%$ 'rishna:i as hol!ing ?ao>s han!6
(o8ing ith hi( into the pathless fiel!%
=hat is silence5 /o !o you eBperience it5 1on>t !o anything6 :ust listen%
Are you eBperiencing it or is there a state of silence hich you are trying to
!escribe5$ /e pause!% &ou see the !ifference5 $"" hat silence is%$
, a( saying it is not a state to be got6 so lea8e getting6$ sai! Achyut%
&ou first (ake a picture6 then fit things to the picture% 7in! out hat silence
is%$ 'rishna:i as pushing%
, can recollect ti(es hen there has been a state of silence6$ sai! 3rs% 7rost%
#hat is not silence% =hat is silence5 , as aske! hat is energy6 an! , sai!
there is a !ifferent approach to the proble(% , say let us go into silence% #hat is
the challenge% @o6 hat is silence5 1o , ha8e an i(age of it6 or !o , see it is
there an! because you ask (e6 , ill co((unicate it to you5$
1on>t try to see or not see6 :ust let go%$ ?ao ha! touche! the flo for an
instant6 as one ith it%
4ea8e your i!eas an! s"" hat silence is6$ sai! 'rishna:i% Aither , a(
i(agining it or the state is there% , a( not eBperiencing it% =ith you the
(echanis( operates i((e!iately% Be si(ple6 lea8e your (echanis(% =hy !oes
it operate before silence5$
#he (in! is so cle8er6$ sai! Achyut%
#hat is no anser% =hy !oes the (echanis( co(e first5 #he (o(ent , ask
hat is silence6 your (echanis( ansers% /o !o you fin! silence5 Surely not
through the noise of the (echanis(% So hat !o you !o5$
#he fence begins ith the (echanis(6$ sai! ?ao%
Silence is there ithout en!% , ant to fin! out hat energy is% ,t (ay be
possible for it to function en!lessly% But i!ea co(es first an! co8ers an! fra(es
silence% But silence has no en!G things eBist in itG they are part of itG they are not
contra!ictory to silence% #hat chil!>s crying is silence% =hen noise is ithin it6 it
is silence% ,f silence is eBtensi8e6 noise is part of silence%
Anything ith its on (echanis( contra!ictory to silence is not in silence%
#he (echanis( as the obser8er looking at silence is contra!ictory to silence6 is
not silence% #he i!ea of silence as eBclusi8e is not silence% Anything separate
(ay ha8e its on energy6 but is not part of eBpansi8e silence% By its (o8e(ent
separateness can create its on action an! energy% #he to energies are entirely
!ifferent% #he (o8e(ent of a separate (echanis( eBperiencing silence an! noise
in silence are entirely separate%
Anything in silence that is not contra!ictory is eBtensi8e% Anything
contra!ictory ith its on energy is li(ite!6 an! hen the li(ite! tries to fin!
the eBtensi8e6 there is no silence%
, can li8e in silence an! hate8er , !o is not contra!ictory so long as , li8e in
silence an! !o not resist it% #hen e8erything is in it eBcept resistance% ,t is
resistance that creates its on hirlpool6 like fire the fla(es leap to the skies%$
,s this silence the source of energy6 ithout li(it5$ aske! ?ao%
#he (o(ent it has li(it6 there is resistance6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is this state5$ aske! ?ao%
=hat is operating5 ,n that state , s(ell these :as(ines% , hear6 , see% =hat is
not in it5 #he eBclusi8e6 the contra!iction6 the i!ea hich is alays eBclusi8e%
Any for( of resistance !estroys this state%
#o (e in silence6 a cry is not eBclusi8e6 but the cry of the baby as an
eBclusi8e act is apart fro( the state of silence% Silence has no li(it% =hen there is
resistance there is eBclusionG noise beco(es eBclusi8e6 hen the sensation for(s
a point hich acts as a !isturbance6 it beco(es a separate noise hen you focus
attention on it%$
#his happens the (o(ent a syste( of 8alues begin to operate6$ sai!
7rie!(an%
#he (o(ent (in! as i!ea operates it is contra!iction% But this state nee!s
eBtraor!inary intelligence an! integrity% Since this thing is li(itless6 it (ust be
energy% /ere it is li(itless because there is no causation% #he (in! creates
energy that has a cause an! so an en!% But silence is not of the (in!6 an! so that
energy has no li(it%$ ' stoppe!% Seeing our faces he sai!6 1on>t translate this to
suit your (in!% #he (in! cannot un!erstan! hat is not of itself% But this is
li(itless% ,n this state e8erything is6 but the things of the (in!% ,n this state e8ery
noise is6 an! that is not noise% #hen contra!iction arises an! (in! arises an!
creates an eBclusi8e pattern ith its on energy%$
3aurice 7rie!(an sai! that he as eBperiencing a co(plete satiety% /e felt
that he as listening to 'rishna:i through a (in! that alrea!y kne hat
'rishna:i as going to say% /e felt no neness% /e felt he coul! not take it any
(ore%
?ao Sahib sai! that though he !i! not feel satiate! yet6 he felt that he ante!
to go aay fro( 'rishna:i% /e felt that this sitting aroun! as all rong%
@an!ini sai! she too felt the sa(e% ,f she ha! un!erstoo! 'rishna:i6 so(ething
(ust happen% She as aiting for it to happen an! nothing as happening%
Achyut sai! he felt like ?ao6 an! , sai! , felt !ea!6 a co(plete sense of not
functioning%
'rishna:i sai!6 ,t boils !on to one thing% &ou are all aiting for so(ething
to happen% So(e ha8e techniCue but no urge6 an! they are aiting for the urge to
act% So(e ha8e the urge but they ha8e no techniCue6 an! so they too ait% So(e
feel !ea!6 an! they are aiting to be gi8en life so they can act%
=hy are you aiting an! for hat are you aiting5 Are you aiting in or!er
to act5 &ou are not sure an! you ant proof before you act% /o can you ha8e
proof5 &ou ha8e still not left the fiel! of knon action an! knon result%
&ou ant to be certain of the ne before you act6 an! ho can you be
certain5 &ou are not li8ing6 you are only aitingG that is not li8ing% ?ao has left
his political action an! is aitingG he is not li8ing%
So far you ha8e been facing north6 an! , say to you turn roun! an! face
south% &ou ant to face south ithout lea8ing the north%
=hy are you aiting5 #o be sure5 Sure of hat5 #hat your action ill be
the ne5 But you are not li8ing6 aiting is !eath% 4i8e6 (o8e6 alk%
, say to you6 ?ao6 O4ook6> you ha8e got it6 alk%
, feel so(ething is happening% ,f , ha! a son , oul! like to share it% =hen
you lo8e you ant to share6 an! , tell you ?ao6 hol! out your han!% ,f you ant
it6 you shall ha8e it%
=hen the little operates in the hole as part of the hole then the little is
li(itless% =hen it acts separately6 then it is li(ite!% #he (in! operating as part of
the hole is en!less%$
=hat is energy an! can it be6 so that it is continually free an! operatingH
ne8er li(ite!5$ ?ao>s face as aglo%
,f the (in! !oes not li(it it then it is alays li(itless% Can action take place
fro( there an! not fro( the (in!5 =hat happens then to action5 =hat is your
action to the beggar on the street5 Can you anser5 @o% But there ill be action
that ill operate on hi(% As long as that operates there is no proble(%$
#he neBt !ay 'rishna:i as again to ask6 =hat is the proble(5 ,nstea! of
these floers$Hhe pointe! to a bol of carnations before hi(Hput artificial
floers% &ou kno hich are real% #hese floers ha8e hat nothing else has%
=hat is the proble(5 =hat is (issing beteen artificial an! real5$
#hey :ust are6$ sai! ?ao%
@o6 hat is the central proble(5$
=e refuse to see oursel8esG beco(ing in our e8ery breath6$ Achyut
respon!e!%
, kno all that6 but hat is (issing5 #ake ?ao6 he is serious% /e has the
capacity to learn6 to assi(ilate6 he is capable of sacrifice% /e has the faculty to
gather facts6 an! he says6 O=hat a( , to !o5 , a( not the real floer%> =hy has
he beco(e the artificial floer5$
=hy ha8e , no song5$ ?ao spoke%
&es6 hy is there no fla(e5 =hat is (issing5 =e ha8e no lo8e6 ithout it6
!o hat you ill6 artificial ill ne8er (ake (e real% =e ha8e culti8ate! intellect6
hich is the artificial floer% =e ha8e !ug the real out fro( its roots% @o ho
is one to ha8e lo8e5
=hy ha8en>t e got lo8e5 #his !e(an!s eBtraor!inary intelligence% Because
, ha8en>t got lo8e , create te(ples an! institutions%$ /e pointe! to the floers
before hi(% #hat floer :ust opene!G !i! you see it5$
?ao continue!6 4o8e is (issing an! , keep on saying6 , ant a breath of it% ,
ha8e not got lo8e an! , ha8e spent (y energy in (aking artificial floers% =hat
a( , to !o5 "nless , ha8e it6 nothing else has (eaning% =hy !on>t , lo8e5
, kno , eBist on an artificial le8el% 3y brain can !iscuss anything6 an! yet ,
see , (ust ha8e the other% /o a( , to get it5$ aske! ?ao%
=hat is the state of your (in! hen you say you see the artificial an! are
shocke!5 =hat is the state hen you !e(an! the other5 #here (ust be a ay of
unlocking the !oor% An! there (ust be a ay of recei8ing it% /o5 #hat is the
real (iracle% ,t cannot be put there% ,t (ust be so(ething that cannot be un!one%
,t is not a thing that continues% , cannot be concerne! ith it% , cannot create it%
, can only act fro( the center6 hich is open to both cessation an! the
co(ing to be%
, cannot try to hol! it% #he (o(ent , say , (ust ha8e an eBperience of it6 it
(ust alays be there6 , shut it out%
, see falseness of the artificial6 but , ha8en>t got the real% =hat is happening
to you hen you see this5 #he (o(ent , stop playing ith the artificial6 all
efforts6 all eBplanations ha8e en!e!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
All anting6 all yearning to !o has en!e!% , feel relaBe!6 playful% , a( not
trying to catch up6$ sai! ?ao%
,t (eans hat6 Sir5 7ro( hat point of 8ie are you seeing it5 ,s it free of
reasoning5$
#o function ithout it is the only sin6$ sai! 7rie!(an%
So you are not going to play ith the artificial% &ou (ay play ith it but you
are out of it6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=e think that the first sign of sensiti8ity is to think6 to reason% But to think is
not ha8e it% , act6$ sai! ?ao% 3y being feels conscious only hen it is processe!
through thinking% #his sucks aay (y 8itality% , see this no 8ery clearly%$
'rishna:i sai!6 Can you be uncertain6 hesitate beteen artificial floer an!
real5 &ou ill eBa(ine e8erything 8ery carefully6 you ill be ary% ,t is only
hen you are not clear6 that you ill stu(ble%
=e began by saying e are !ry% =e carry ith us a basket of the artificial%
=e ha8e gi8en the basket rong 8alues% &ou see this an! put it asi!e% &ou are
free of the basket6 hich is the artificial% =hat is your actual state5$
All the inar! rinkles go% ,nsi!e one6 the sense of getting at so(ething
goes% , a( not !ry6$ sai! ?ao%
&ou are not !ry6 hich (eans you ha8e a song% , ant to kno the state of
inar!ness6 of being free%$
After three hours , see that it is the artificiality hich is responsible for there
being no ar(th% ,n !ropping artificiality6 the scorching !ryness has gone6$ ?ao
ansere!%
,t is !ifficult to co((unicate the Cuality that co(es into being hen in
!ialogue6$ , sai!% #here is an instant of un!erstan!ing6 of totally being one6 a
state here thought has en!e! an! silence alone is aake%$
?ao began6 Silence is not (y nor(al consciousness6 (o(ents of silence are
rare% A life base! on action6 response has not en!e! for (e% , co(e on action
hich at the ti(e , think is not a reaction% =hat is the !ifference beteen this
action an! action as challenge5$
'rishna:i ansere!6 #he only test is hether it pro!uces further reaction6
hether there is continuity to it% ,f you are happy you oul! !o the right thing%
Action out of happiness is one thing% Action in a state of free!o( fro(
unhappiness has its on reactionG this is not the state of happiness% =e !on>t
kno happiness hich is not a reaction% =e kno happiness of reaction%$
, a( unhappy an!6 ha8ing (o(entarily seen a state of being not unhappy6 ,
a( (ore unhappy% , ant a (o!e of li8ing hich ill free (e6$ sai! ?ao%
#hough , li8e in this orl! , ant to li8e ithout unhappiness ith its
reactions% /o a( , to !o it5 , a( not outsi!e this pattern% , see it in all
co(pleBity% , li8e in that fiel!% 3y proble( is6 , ant to li8e in it co(pletely
ane6 because , see the futility of pattern an! its enlarge(ent% , can>t escape fro(
it or run aay fro( it% =hat a( , to !o in the pattern5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#he last fe !ays (y refleB actions are less% #he urges an! (o8e(ents ha8e
!ie! !on% Foltage is so lo% , ha8e the feeling of not anting anything% , ant
to sit by (yself6$ sai! ?ao%
,t is a feeling of shrinking6$ , a!!e!%
#he trouble is e are taken high an! then e !rop ith a bang%$ #his as
7rie!(an>s co((ent%
=hy !o you soar an! hy !o you shrink5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
=hy !o , co(e ith a begging bol5 #he begging bol (ust go6$ sai! ?ao%
#he begging bol (ust go an! , (ust li8e in the fiel! ith happiness% , ill
co(e to you6 but , !on>t ant to be !epen!ent% =hat a( , to !o5$
#he 8oltage of life is so lo6 there is no :oy6$ sai! ?ao%
1o you actually feel it6 like a bucket that cannot hol! ater6 hich (eans
you ha8e no lo8e5 =hy is it you ha8en>t got it5 ,s it that e(otionally your (in!
has lost its resilience6 that you feel !ea!5$
, a( not !ea!% , still feel ali8e6$ ansere! ?ao%
Alasticity is there6 but it is not reacting any (ore6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#here is the sense of an ebbing ti!e6$ sai! ?ao%
,s it that e ha8e touche! the botto( of things5 /a8e you co(e to that6 that
you are nothing5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
&ou are saying that if there is no Dest6 you ha8e reache! the !epth% #he (in!
is so subtle% ,t ill not see that6$ sai! ?ao%
/a8e you reache! the botto(5$ 'rishna:i as pushing%
,n the !arkness6 , see a s(all ray of light6 but it is still too !i( to use6$ sai!
?ao6 hesitantly%
;o ith it6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
-ne is too aare to be anything of the ol!6 but still one is not the ne%
Synthetic sensations ha8e cease!6 but happiness is not there%$
=hat are you to !o5 4et lie% ,t is like a fiel! that has been son an!
har8este!6 let it lie fallo no%
, feel that there shoul! be an eBplosion fro( ithin an! not fro( outsi!e%
/o a( , to !o it5 , feel there is a clue to that (ystery% ,f e can fin! it6 e can
pick it up% #he last ten !ays so(ething is happening to (e6 an eBtraor!inary thing
going on ithin (e% , !on>t kno here it is going% ,t is like a ri8er (o8ing% ,t is
!oing so(ething physically% , ha8en>t thought about it6 an! , ask hy !oesn>t it
happen in so(eone else5 , ha8e a feeling it is aiting% =hen , aoke so(ething
as happening% =hy !oesn>t it happen to others5 ,t is not a Cuestion of being
cle8er or stupi!% , kno all the reasons that pre8ent you% But , say it is like going
through so(ething together% =e ha8e gone through this together% =e can>t !o
(ore% @o stretch out your han! an! recei8e the certificate% ,t is really the sa(e
thing !eeper !on%$
/e turne! to @an!ini6 An! , ant to kno hy you !on>t pick it up% , say to
you6 ben! !on an! pick it up%
&ou kno about the baby they ha8e been bringing to (e% #he !octor ha!
sai! its brain ha! not for(e!% ,t coul! not see6 coul! not s(ile6 coul! not
recogniDe6 an! , ha8e been touching it% So(ething is functioning 8ery strongly in
(e%
, feel a burning in (y han! an! the baby has begun to s(ile6 to recogniDe
people% &ou can !o it% All you ha8e to !o is to pick it up% #he thing that is
operating in (e ill ork ith you as ell6 pick it up%
,t is no use saying you !on>t kno ho% , say to you6 pick it up%$
#he !ialogues en!e!6 an! 'rishna:i prepare! to return to -:ai% -n 3arch 1<6
at one of his last (orning !iscussions6 he spoke ith great urgency of the nee! to
penetrate the (echanics of his (in!%
, as thinking this (orning if , coul! un!erstan! (y on (in! an! the ay
it orks6 , coul! say to you6 look carefully an! you can ha8e it%
/o !oes (y (in! ork5 &ester!ay6 hen , spoke of (e!itation6 as (y
brain orking5 ,f not6 then hat as orking5 3y ansers ere logical% /o
!i! they arise5 =hat happene!5 , sai! that the thought an! the thinker ere one%
=hat as the (echanis( that pro!uce! that thought5 -ne can speculate an! say
it as the higher (in! that as using (e6 3aitreya6 that , a( a soun!ing boar!G
that oul! be a goo! #heosophical eBplanation% But that !oes not satisfy (e%
,f , coul! sho it to Achyut 8ery clearly6 he coul! ha8e it% =hat is the thing
operating5 &ester!ay6 the (o(ent ?ao sai! Opoint6> , sai! Ochoice%> An! ho
chooses5 #here is no step*by*step thinking6 so hat is operating5$
#his ti(e , think , un!erstan! hat 'rishna:i is saying6$ sai! ?ao%
'rishna:i is aare hen people ho listen to hi( are ith hi(% But this oul!
be the eBperience of any genuine personHith 'rishna:i it is so(ething (ore%$
#o kno an au!ience an! to change6 a!:ust6 that is si(ple% 4et us go a little
beyon!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is the intellect that nee!s no books6 no knole!ge5$ aske! ?ao%
&ou are alays ne% #here (ust be a creati8e source operating all the ti(e%
=hat is the nature of this source5$ aske! 7rie!(an%
&ou are in front of the a8e6 in front of consciousness% Are you conscious of
that creati8e source5$ sai! ?ao%
&ou are a trinity% #here is 'rishna(urti the (an6 :ust as he isG then he is the
guru6 pinching6 coercingG then he is truth6 the poer Ohich is%> #hey are not
separate6 but three aspects of the sa(e truth% #he Cuestion is6 ho is
'rishna(urti5$ aske! 7rie!(an%
/o oul! , set about getting this thing that is operating5$ sai! 'rishna:i%
?ao respon!e!6 7ro( the first !ay hen you spoke of the (o8e(ent6 fro(
pointless point6 one sa that this state to you as a (o(ent*to*(o(ent reality% ,f
one can re(ain there then conflict en!s% ,f , see that6 the Cuality of speaking is
!ifferent%$
/o !oes a (an trans(it the creati8e touch to another5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#his cannot be !one eBcept through i!entification6$ sai! 7rie!(an%
@o6 there is so(ething operating through ' hich , oul! like to share% ,
kno it is possible% , feel it is as possible as the sunshine6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Are you !raing a current fro( a source not li(ite! to you5 ,f so6 ho can
e tap the source5$ 7rie!(an as challenging 'rishna:i%
, feel fro( the beginning it as open to (e% ,t has alays been there% #he
!istance getting clearer6 clearer6 closerH=hy !oesn>t U get this5 =oul! you
ha8e it if you kept near ' all the ti(e5 , !on>t think so% , ant to see ho it
orks% , kno ho it orks ith (e% #his (orning , oke ith a feeling% #here
as no O(e> feeling% #o(orro (orning hen , ake up there ill be so(ething
ne% ,t keeps going on all the ti(e% =hen , talk it bursts out% #here is ne8er a
storing up an! then pouring out% =ith (ost people the storage is alays the ol!%
/ere there is no storage6 no safe% ' ants you to ha8e it% /o is it to be !one5
A8en if it is true that ' as traine!6 that he is being use! by 3aitreya6 that entity
says to you6 O&ou shoul! ha8e it%> A!(itting all the !ifferences6 that entity says6
OCo(e6 you can ha8e it%> /e ants you to ha8e it6 therefore he abolishes all
!i8isions% , feel that it is operating6 , feel the fiel! is open an! so(e are in it%
=hat is our proble(5 , ha8e it6 you !on>t6 an! , say you can ha8e it% But if
you ask6 O/a8e , got it5 An! hat is the test5 An! is there a test5 /o can ,
kno that , ha8e it5>Hthen you are lost% 7or there is no test% &ou ask6 O,s this
enough5> ,t is this asking for (ore that is the blockage%
, say to ?ao6 O;o out6 try it%> , re(e(ber (y first speech at 3a!urai% 1r%
Besant sai! to (e6 O3y !ear6 your stance as alright6 your gestures right6 only
you ere too ineBperience!% , kno it is possible for you to ha8e it% ;o6 start6
speak6 see hat happens% A8en if you (ake a (ess6 re(ain hesitant% =ith this
you (ust be co(pletely uncertain%> , say to you6 you ha8e got it% ;o open the
!oor%
#his is so in (y relationships% #here is ne8er a sense of co(ing back to a
relationship% #here are no anchorages6 there is alays a (o8ing out%
, ha8e been tol! hat , say to!ay is !ifferent to hat , sai! earlier an! to
hat , asG an! , ill be !ifferent again% ' is like that% ' has no fiBe! points of
return%$
, (et 'rishna:i alone after the !ialogues en!e!% /e aske! (e ho , as
feeling% =hat ha! the fi8e eeks of !iscussion !one for (e5 , replie! that , ha!
been left ith little self*8olition% , as feeling 8ery young ithin% ,t as like
being reincarnate! hile still ali8e% , felt part of so(ething that ha! to be% #hings
oul! happen to (e6 as as right an! as they ere (eant toG there as little ,
coul! !o%
, also tol! hi( of hat ha! happene! to (e toar! the en! of the !iscussions
on consciousness% #he !ialogue ha! generate! an intense atching of the (in!
!uring the !ayG hen , fell asleep6 the obser8ation continue!% -ne night , ha! an
eBplosi8e perception of the thinker an! thought as oneG there as blaDing light
an! , fell into !eep sleep% #he secon! night the sa(e atchful intensity an! the
perception of the obser8er an! the obser8e! as one6 eBplo!ing light an! !eep
sleep% #he thir! night there as an instant hen all thought as Cuenche!6 an
i((ense light an! then !rea(less sleep% /e hear! (e speak6 but refuse! to gi8e
the eBperiences any i(portance% /e sai!6 ,t is o8er6 (o8e%$ /e then aske! (e
hat , as going to !o% , sai!6 , !o not kno% , feel the urge to rite% , also feel
like !oing nothing%$ /e sai!6 1o nothing6 see hat happens%$
Part 0
#he "nfol!ing of
the #eaching
19)<*19)9
CHAPTER 16
?eligion Co(es =hen the
3in! /as "n!erstoo! the
=orkings of ,tself%$
-n Septe(ber 116 19)<6 'rishna:i rote to (e fro( -:ai2 , ha8e been here a
goo! three eeks an! nee! a long rest6 as , ha8e been talking for three years
stea!ily% Also , ha8e !eci!e! to go into co(plete retreat for a hole year ithout
any inter8ies6 public or pri8ate !iscussions or public talks% ,t ill be (ore or
less a silent year% So6 , shall not be co(ing to ,n!ia this inter%$
/is retreat as total% #here ere no (eetings6 no inter8ies% ,t as fro(
?a:agopal that e hear! 'rishna:i as obser8ing co(plete silence% 7ro( August
19)< to 1ece(ber 19)1 'rishna:i>s contact ith ,n!ia en!e!% Euestione! later
on hat he !i! !uring this perio!6 'rishna:i gre 8ague% #he bo!y as tire!6 he
as inar!ly !raine!6 possibly so(e i(purities6 hoe8er subtle6 still tinge! the
crystal clarity of his consciousness% An! so6 in keeping ith the (ystic tra!ition6
he ith!re into hi(self%
,n early spring of 19)< nes of the !is(issal of the case concerning
@an!ini>s plaint for separation an! custo!y of the chil!ren ha! eBplo!e! in the
press in ,n!ia% A8en Tim" (agaDine in the "nite! States carrie! a paragraph ith
the hea!line6 ?e8olt of the 1oor(at%$ ,t referre! to 'rishna:i as the 3essiah an!
Cuote! 'rishna:i>s talks6 in hich he spoke ith passion of the position of ,n!ian
o(en6 that they ere treate! as !oor(ats% ,t also linke! 'rishna(urti>s na(e
ith @an!ini>s !e(an! for separation fro( her husban!% ?a:agopal telegraphe!
to (e to enCuire hether this nes that ha! appeare! in Tim" as accurate% =e
replie!6 gi8ing !etails an! eBpressing our gra8e concern that 'rishna(urti>s
na(e ha! been (entione!% -n his return to -:ai later in 19)<6 'rishna:i face! a
stor(% ?osalin! an! ?a:agopal Cuestione! hi( relentlessly on hat ha!
happene! in ,n!ia% 4etters fro( ?a:agopal>s frien!s in ,n!ia ha! spoken of
'rishna:i>s ne frien!s%$ ?osalin! an! ?a:agopal ere angry an! anBious an!
insiste! on knoing (ore about these people% 'rishna:i re(aine! 8ague%
?osalin! an! ?a:agopal>s personal proble(s ere intensifying% #heir
(arriage as un!er great strain% 'rishna:i>s ith!raal into retreat an! silence
re(o8e! hi( fro( the center of the stor(%
But ?osalin! an! ?a:agopal ere unite! in their concern for the ne
'rishna(urti that as e(erging% Aare of his sensiti8e6 shy nature an! the
passi8ity of his personality6 ?a:agopal an! ?osalin! soon sense! the change in
hi(% #hey refuse! to accept that he as free of the(% 'rishna:i>s response as to
gro increasingly passi8e an! silent6 an! to ith!ra ithin hi(self%
,t as beco(ing e8i!ent to the(6 hoe8er6 that the long spell in ,n!ia6 the
people he ha! (et6 the free!o( that ha! broken all the restrictions place! on hi(6
ha! intro!uce! entirely ne ele(ents in 'rishna:i>s attitu!e to people an!
situations% 7or the first ti(e he ha! frien!s in ,n!ia ho ere unrelate! to his ol!
connections% #hese people6 ho (a!e no !e(an!s on hi(6 sense! the 8astness of
the sacre! (anifest through hi(% #hey sa hi( ith fresh6 unbur!ene! eyes6 an!
brought to hi( a relationship of !eep 8eneration6 affection6 an! frien!ship%
'rishna:i returne! to ,n!ia in the inter of 19)16 after an absence of nearly
eighteen (onths% ?a:agopal acco(panie! hi(% #he (any frien!s 'rishna:i ha!
(a!e in the pre8ious years thronge! to (eet hi( in Bo(bay% 'rishna:i entere!
the roo(6 greete! us sole(nly6 took our han!s6 but !i! not speak a or!% /e as
still (aintaining absolute silence% ?a:agopal looke! uneasy% =e ere (eeting
hi( for the first ti(e6 an! e ere ary of each other%
'rishna:i !i! not break his silence in Bo(bay6 but ent on to 3a!ras6 here
he as to gi8e tel8e talks beteen January ) an! 7ebruary 1.% @an!ini an! ,
ent to 3a!ras an! staye! in Fasant Fihar% =e ere li8ing in a space that ha!
been create! by using cupboar!s to partition the 8eran!aG e share! a bathroo(
ith 3a!ha8achari an! ate our (eals separately fro( 'rishna:i6 ho ate in his
roo( alone%
?a:agopal as 8ery (uch in control% /is relationship ith 3a!ha8achari as
also sloly groing clear% ?a:agopal treate! hi( in a frien!ly (anner6 but !i!
not re8eal to 3a!ha8achari hat he ha! in his (in!% 3a!ha8achari as
respectful6 a!!resse! hi( as 3r% ?a:agopal6 took his instructions6 an! carrie! out
his ishes% ?a:agopal as staying in the 4ea!beater Cha(bers in the
#heosophical Society6 as the upper floor of Fasant Fihar ha! been rente! an!
there as no other roo( suitable%
'rishna:i gre 8ague hen Cuestione! on the reason for his silent year6 but
spoke to @an!ini an! (e of ?a:agopal% /e trie! to (ake us un!erstan! ho
(uch ?a:agopal ha! sacrifice! for hi(% 'rishna:i as apologetic6 anBious that
e beco(e frien!s ith ?a:agopalG soon after !inner one e8ening a (eeting as
arrange!6 an! e ent to the 4ea!beater Cha(bers to (eet hi(%
?a:agopal as courteousG but his eyes6 sunk in !eep hollos in his so(ber6
sha!oe! face6 bore into us6 trying to rea! nuances of (eaning into e8ery or!
e spoke% /e as suspicious an! inCuisiti8e6 an! one nee!e! an aake an! alert
(in! to anser his see(ingly innocuous Cuestions% /e see(e! to be trying to
catch us unaares% /e hinte! that 'rishna:i coul! not be counte! on as he as
constantly changing his (in!% ?a:agopal ha! hear! fro( Felu6 a ser8ant ho ha!
looke! after 'rishna:i in Se!ge(oor6 hat ha! happene! at -otaca(un!% So
?a:agopal grille! us for o8er four hours6 anting to kno e8ery !etail of hat
ha! taken place% ,t as a trying eBperience an! e ere both orn out by the en!
of it%
4ater e ere to !isco8er another si!e of ?a:agopal% /e appeare! !eeply
attracte! to us% /e as ar( an! affectionate an! e beca(e frien!s% &ears later
he as to say to @an!ini that it as such a pity that they ere to (eet un!er
'rishna:i>s sha!o% /e ha! an eBtre(ely intelligent an! incisi8e South ,n!ian
(in!% Sensiti8e to !isor!er an! !irt of any kin!6 i((aculately !resse! in a
starche! hite kurta an! py:a(a6 he spoke an! (o8e! ith elegant precision%
'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal ere to lea8e for Aurope an! the "nite! States by
the spring of 19).%
By July 19). @an!ini>s bo!y6 hich ha! born the strain of fi8e years of
hu(iliation an! the anguish of separation fro( her chil!ren6 broke !on% She
as un!er pressure fro( (any fronts2 her eB*husban!>s arbitrary attitu!e toar!
hen @an!ini coul! see her chil!renG the !isappro8ing attitu!e of the el!ers
aroun! 'rishna:i% She fell (ortally ill ith a fast*groing cancer of the cer8iB
an! ha! to be flon to Anglan! for an urgent operation%
, sent a telegra( to 'rishna:i gi8ing hi( the nes% #here as no reply% ,t as
as if he ha! 8anishe!6 an! all relationship ith us at the outer le8el ha! en!e!%
/oe8er6 his silent presence coul! be felt all through the perio! of our troubles6
an! ith it ca(e great strength an! the capacity to face cala(ity%
@an!ini as tol! in 4on!on of the !e8astating cancer that as !estroying her
bo!y% 7ace! ith the i((inence of !eath6 she recei8e! the nes ith !eep
silence% She tol! (e that her brain beca(e for so(e (o(ents totally still an! free
of all thought or feeling% ?ight through the perio! of aiting for the operation in
the hotel roo(6 here she as to suffer a se8ere he(orrhage6 there ere fe
thoughtsHno fear6 no anBiety6 no concern for to(orro% -n the e8e of her
operation she spoke by telephone to her chil!ren in Bo(bay ith ten!erness an!
concern for their ell*being%
4ater6 she as to tell (e that as she ent un!er anesthesia she hear! the
soun! of resoun!ing laughter6 hich continue! all through the operation% #here
as no blocking out of consciousness% She kne hat as happening% She foun!
herself alking in green fiel!s6 soft breeDes playe! on her6 an! the soun! of
bir!song fille! her ears% She felt a protecti8e presence that surroun!e! her an!
hel! her% #he protection as not to keep her ali8e6 but to be ith her in !eath or
life% #he protection6 the presence6 as in the surgeon>s knife%
, as ith her the neBt !ay6 hen she as tol! that the surgeon ho ha!
operate! on her ha! suffere! a stroke an! as incapacitate!% 7or to !ays she
as ithout (e!ical attention% After the operation6 here8er she turne! her face6
the protection as thereHto the left of her6 to the right6 abo8e an! belo6 she felt
the touch of it% A fe !ays after the operation she sat up in be!6 cross*legge!6 an!
the breath of silence entere! her% -ne !ay the young assistant !octor entere! the
roo( uneBpecte!ly% Seeing her6 he aske!6 Are you a yogi5$
4ike an un!ergroun! spring of clear running ater6 unseen yet potent ith
life6 @an!ini>s years ha8e passe!% 4i8ing ith our (other in the 19)<s6 she
chance! upon to tiny orphan girls of the neighborhoo!% 1estitute6 they li8e!
ith a !istant aunt6 but spent their life on the street% 1epri8e! of her on
chil!ren6 @an!ini ha! taken the girls in an! starte! a tiny play school for the(
an! for the other poor chil!ren of the neighborhoo!% 4ater6 the school shifte! to
to nearby garages% Chil!ren of the surroun!ing areas soon starte! pouring inH
to!ay there are 1)< chil!ren% #eachers an! helpers ha8e also co(e forar!% #he
school6 Bal Anan!6 pro8i!es to the chil! ho an!ers the street a creati8e space
in an otherise !reary lan!scape of concrete% 4i8ing alone for (any years6
@an!ini has been the silent6 no!al point of the school% #he chil!ren sit roun! her
an! talk6 laugh6 an! play% #hey are offere! (usic6 !ancing6 ea8ing6 painting6
language6 !ra(atics6 science6 an! a little arith(etic% After tenty*fi8e years Bal
Anan! has beco(e a part of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 ,n!ia6 an! @an!ini has
beco(e a (e(ber of the foun!ation% As her on chil!ren ha8e co(e of age6 they
ha8e returne! to her6 o8erfloing ith lo8e an! protection%
@an!ini re(aine! a close frien! of 'rishna:i>s6 tra8eling ith hi( to so(e of
the centers hen he as in ,n!ia6 an! (aintaining her contact through letters
hen he as aay% /er hair is grey% She re(ains fragile6 beautiful6 anony(ous%
As part of his ,n!ian progra( it as !eci!e! that 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal
oul! participate in a !iscussion group in Poona in the inter of 19).% ?ao
Sahib Patar!han ha! arrange! for a (eeting of his frien!s at Fithal =a!i6
here Achyut as li8ing in a tiny cottage a(ongst foreste! hills6 after his final
break ith the Socialist Party in 19)<%
#he people ho gathere! at Fithal =a!i for the !iscussions ca(e fro( 8arie!
backgroun!s% Professor 1hopesharkar taught philosophy at the "ni8ersity of
Poona% S% 3% Joshi as an austere6 upright Chitpa8an Brah(in6 a Socialist an! an
acti8e (e(ber of the Sar8a Se8a Sangh% /e an! ?ao Sahib Patar!han ere
close frien!s an! ha! participate! in (any of the ork ca(ps ith 8oluntary
Sar8a Se8a Sangh orkers% 3angesh Pa!gounkar6 a poet6 as one of the
participants6 along ith 1urga Bhagat% 1urga Bhagat6 a riter an!
anthropologist ho ha! orke! ith Ferrier Alin in 3a!hya Pra!esh6 as a
short lean o(an ith a tight bony face% #ough both physically an! (entally6
she ha! ne8er (arrie!6 ha! enor(ous energy6 an! felt strongly about proble(s of
po8erty in ,n!ia% She as !e8ote! to ?ao Sahib% 3a!ha8achari ha! co(e fro(
3a!ras for the !iscussions6 along ith Pa!(abai an! San:ee8a ?ao% Pan!it ,Cbal
@arain ;urtu ca(e fro( Faranasi an! 4% F% Bha8e fro( #hana% , as the only
other o(an present%
?ao Patar!han appro8e! of (e6 an! o8er to years he ha! beco(e a close
frien!% /is austere nature ha! respon!e! personably an! at !epth to (y totally
alien backgroun! an! attitu!es% =e !iscusse! beauty6 art6 the =estern (in!6 an!
the ,n!ian creati8e (atriB% 7or the first ti(e , ha! establishe! close contact ith a
tra!itional Brah(inic intellect6 a ay of life that ha! no rele8ance to (y early
years as the !aughter of a ci8il ser8ant or to the life , le! in the social (ilieu of
Bo(bay%
Sunan!a6 ho by then ha! (arrie! Pa(a6 one of ?ao Sahib>s an! Achyut>s
younger brothers6 as consi!ere! by ?ao Sahib6 the Patriarch6 to be too
i((ature an! as not in8ite! to atten! the se(inar% @or as @an!ini% /er
astoun!ing beauty6 si(plicity6 an! chil!like Cuality co(bine! ith the fact that
she ha! been (arrie! into a fa(ily of great ealth6 (a!e it !ifficult for ?ao to
accept the fact that she as serious% Sunan!a ha! been aske! by ?ao to look after
the arrange(ents for 'rishna:i>s foo! an! other nee!s% 4ife as spartan6 the
roo(s tinyG there ere fe a(enities%
'rishna:i6 sensing Sunan!a>s hurt at being left out of the group !iscussions6
as (ost affectionate% /e talke! to her at length an! alke! ith her in the
oo!s% /is attitu!e to her as of a (uch*lo8e! !aughter% ?a:agopal as ary6
atchful6 i(patient% -ne coul! hear ?a:agopal>s 8oice raise! in heate! argu(ent
in 'rishna:i>s roo(% 'rishna:i>s 8oice as ne8er hear!%
#he !iscussions continue! for o8er a eek% A8ery (orning an! e8ening e
gathere! at Fithal =a!i% 'rishna:i as !ealing ith tough (in!s entrenche! an!
roote! in 3arBian tenets of social ser8ice% #he !iscussion kept i(pinging on
po8erty an! the nee! for social action% #his as un!erstan!able in a country of
such i((ense po8erty% But the (in!s that ha! gathere! ere intelligent enough
to realiDe that at so(e point their approach as tharte! by their on inner
conflicts6 urges6 an! ina!eCuacies% Sloly6 ith infinite patience6 'rishna:i
probe! into the nature of (in!6 social action6 thought an! the thinker6 an!
silence% /e tol! the Socialists that the proble( of foo!6 shelter6 an! clothing
coul! ne8er be sol8e! at an i!eological le8el% ,t coul! only en! hen nee!s ere
not use! for psychological purposes6 but ere !ealt ith on their on le8el%
#hough the har!*hea!e! Socialists re(aine! tethere! to their perches6 they ere
no longer secure in their positions%
At the en! of the eek e ent our on ays% -f the group that ha!
gathere!6 all !rifte! aay eBcept for the Patar!hans6 7rie!(an6 (e6 an! the ol!
frien!s of 'rishna:i ho ha! been ith hi( fro( the #heosophical !ays% #hat the
!iscussions ha! an i(pact on the tough (in!s of the Socialists an! aca!e(ics
as e8i!ent% Professor 1hopesharkar rote se8eral books on 'rishna:i>s
teachings% 3any years later6 S% 3% Joshi as to say to (e that Socialists in ,n!ia
since 190+ ere !o(inate! by =estern thought an! its !ialectics% 3arB beca(e
the central point fro( hich all Socialist thought ra!iate!% #hey coul! not see
that hen applie! to ,n!ian con!itions6 the 3arBist position lacke! a critical
base% =estern 3arBis( ha! no place for hu(anis(% S% 3% Joshi sai! his concern
ith socialis( ha! alays been ith hether (an coul! gro to his full stature%
#herefore a (oral ele(ent as integral to the Socialist stance% ,n 19+8 the
Socialists ere profoun!ly perpleBe! an! in a !ile((a% #hey sa that en!s
:ustifie! (eans in 3arBist thought% #his as ne8er Cuite acceptable to S% 3%
Joshi% =hile in :ail6 beteen 19++ an! 19+)6 for a (o(ent he ha! felt that
perhaps en!s !i! :ustify (eansG but this !i! not satisfy hi( an! he as 8ery
confuse!% #he !iscussions ith 'rishna:i ha! a liberating influence on hi(% /e
sai! they ha! helpe! to clarify (y attitu!e to in:usticeHhelpe! (e to face
confusion an! co(e through ith clarity%$
1
=hile , as in Poona to atten! the !iscussions at Fithal =a!i6 , foun! (yself
atching ith ruthless attention% , atche! the (o8e(ent of thought an! feeling
as they arose ithin (e% , also atche! hat as outsi!e (eHpeople>s faces6 a
leaf6 a stone% =hile on a alk alone in the oo!s aroun! Fithal =a!i6 , su!!enly
foun! (yself running% ,t as a still e8ening% #he cry of one bir! superi(pose!
itself on other bir! criesG the (ur(ur of (osCuitoes an! chirping of crickets6 a
!istant 8oice6 the soun! of (y heartbeats poure! piercingly into (e6 hile sharp
scent of nee(6 tulsi6 an! a (ultitu!e of :as(ine sept through (e like a strong
in!% , as afloat in a sea of eBplo!ing color% #he li8ing green of peepul leaf6
fresh fig green6 ne pink green of the (ango shoot6 the pale !an green of a
cactus bu!6 beca(e one ith soun!G filling (y nostrils6 (y ears6 (y eyes6 (y
(outh% , foun! , as stan!ing before a cactus bush eeping6 unable to bear or
contain the potency of that spring e8ening% #he abun!ance of beauty6 hea8y like
honey6 lay in (y eyes an! ears for !ays% ,n seeing6 beauty aakene!G hat as
seen as uni(portant% #he intensity !i(inishe! as !ay folloe! !ay6 but beauty
taking o8er the sensory !oorays6 ha! generate! a perception that sel!o(
aban!one! (y eyes%
7ro( Fithal =a!i in Poona6 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal ent to ?ishi Falley%
#he school ha! reopene! ith Pearce6 the ol! #heosophist an! e!ucator6 as
principal% /e ha! gathere! a group of earnest young teachers aroun! hi(% ?ishi
Falley as situate! in the fa(ine belt of ?ayalasee(a in An!hra Pra!esh% #he
lan! as barren% 3iss Payne ha! !ug ells6 but trees ha! still to be plante!Hthe
thousan!s of trees that in years ere to (ake this 8alley an oasis out of barren
lan!% #he surroun!ing hills ere for(e! of rocks an! boul!ers of i((ense siDe%
#orn an! gnarle! by in! an! ti(e6 they ha! assu(e! sculptural for(G the huge
boul!ers ere balance! precariously on rocks6 a(ongst the ol!est in the orl!%
#he colors of sunsets an! sunrises o8er the 8alley ere palettes of saffron an!
a(ethystG the air as clear an! free of !ust% ,n spite of the po8erty of soil an!
sparse population6 the area stretching fro( Anantpur on one en! an! #irupati on
the other as !otte! ith shrines to the siddhas%
1
3a!anapalle as tenty
kilo(eters fro( the site of the school%
At the heart of ?ishi Falley as a 8ery ancient banyan tree6 like a te(pleG its
roots ha! for(e! pillars6 its branches sheltere! (onkeys6 an! cobras !elt in the
hollo at its base% A stage ha! been built aroun! the tree6 here the chil!ren
!ance! beteen the (any trunks an! hi! in the hollos% #here ere fe bir!s6
for the trees that ere to attract the( ere yet to be plante!%
-nly thirty chil!ren atten!e! the school6 but the proble(s of the place ha!
been i((ense% #he teachers hel! long !iscussions on the role of authority6
free!o( an! or!er% @o solution as possible6 for the proble(s ere li8ing6
(o8ing6 in fluBG an! the obser8ations of the participants ha! to (o8e6 Cuery6
obser8eHith the sa(e siftness as the proble( an! its (any nuances%
3eanhile6 reports ha! reache! 'rishna:i of the conflicts that ere arising in
?a:ghat6 an! he sent a telegra( to Achyut at Fithal =a!i6 asking hi( to co(e to
?ishi Falley to see hi(%
Achyut siftly respon!e! to 'rishna:i>s telegra( an! arri8e! in ?ishi Falley%
#aking hi( asi!e6 'rishna:i suggeste! to Achyut that he ork at ?a:ghat in
Faranasi% #he lan! across the ri8er Faruna as lying unuse!% AcCuire! to start
so(e pro:ects on agricultural research6 the absence of orkers ha! le! to the
lan!s re(aining barren% San:ee8a ?ao an! Pan!it ,Cbal @arain ;urtu6 both close
associates of 1r% Besant6 ho ha! left the #heosophical Society along ith
'rishna:i6 ha! !o(inate! the ?ishi Falley #rust since its inception% #hey ere
1
#he siddhas or sittars6 as they ere knon in South ,n!ia6 inclu!e! Bu!!hist alche(ists an! (agic
(akers6 aakeners of kundaini6 ith inti(ate relationship ith plants an! (inerals% ,n the face of
in8asions they ha! fle! fro( the Bu!!hist (onasteries of Fikra( Sila an! @alan!a6 seeking refuge in
An!hra Pra!esh an! #a(ilna!u%
groing ol! an! a ne initiati8e as nee!e!% 'rishna:i tol! Achyut that he
oul! ha8e to !o a great !eal of ork6 institutions oul! ha8e to be built6 the
lan! ha! to be sa8e!% But that as not an! shoul! not be the reason for Achyut to
go to ?a:ghat%
Achyut>s (in!6 'rishna:i sai!6 as choke! ith the syn!ro(e of social ork%
,t as in his bloo!%
;et it out of your bloo!% #he !eep (o8e(ent of change has to be at the
center% "nless the center changes6 all social ork is useless% @e8er lose sight of
this6 hile you are at ?a:ghat% 1on>t let ork o8erhel( you an! sha!o your
pri(ary function6 hich is to change totally at the center% A atchfulness of
(in! has to be there%$
Achyut agree! to go% #he or!s of 'rishna:i ha! soake! in% /e sa the
i((ensity of 'rishna:i as a teacherG but to Achyut6 ith his Socialist
backgroun!6 'rishna:i>s teaching coul! not be for the fe% /e felt that
'rishna:i>s presence ha! to per(eate the soil of ?a:ghat% ,t as sacre! soilHthe
Bu!!ha ha! alke! there% 'rishna:i ha! stoo! an! atche! the sunrise on the
cur8e of the ri8er6 the sacre! point here the ;anga starte! its :ourney northar!
Hback to its source% #his sacre!ness6 that hich lay behin! the or! of
'rishna:i6 the o8erfloing co(passion6 ha! to be co((unicate! non8erbally to
the 8illager6 the fisher(an6 the ea8er6 the far(er ho tille! the sacre! ;angetic
soil% #he politically e!ucate! (in! of Achyut sa that ithout this6 there coul!
be no stability in ?a:ghat an! no ork ith the teaching as possible% Achyut>s
backgroun! an! political life ere legen!ary% Prepare! to use 8iolence to gain
free!o(6 he ha! gone through all the inner an! outer actions of the re8olutionary%
/is na(e as resonant ith the passion an! fire of the free!o( struggle% An!
no the vira6 the arrior6 ha! in spirit !onne! the saffron robeHa re8ersal of
roles hich intrigue! Pan!it Jaaharlal @ehru6 an! (any of his Socialist
co(ra!es% #here coul! be no finer (aterial than Achyut to ork in the 8illages of
,n!ia%
Achyut ent to ?a:ghat% 7ro( the first (o(ent6 he as totally !issatisfie!
ith the (e!iocre school for (i!!le*class chil!ren run by the #rustG an! so he
!eci!e! to ork toar!s establishing a rural hospital to cater to the nee!s of the
8illages of the surroun!ing area% #his as Achyut>s first social response to the
buil!ing of a religious center% /e tol! (e that it as a gesture of frien!ship
uncon!itionally a8ailable to the poor an! the nee!y%$ 4ater6 1r% 'alle6 an
7%?%C%S%
1
an! a !eeply co(passionate hu(an being6 :oine! Achyut to ork in the
hospital%
Achyut6 like all ,n!ians6 ha! an intense lo8e of the earth% ,t as for hi( the
(other% So Achyut>s (in! no turne! to the lan!% #he ;angetic soil as rich6
the crops poor% ?a8ines an! the absence of any care for the lan! as
i(po8erishing the rich earth% ,t ha! been neglecte! an! plun!ere!% /e for(ulate!
plans for starting the agricultural school for the sons of far(ersHSir F% #%
'rishna(achari6 8ice*chair(an of the planning co((ission6 as (ost recepti8e
to Achyut>s approach% Soon the agricultural school across the ri8er Faruna ca(e
into being6 the lan! as contoure!6 ells sunk% Achyut li8e! there in a tiny
1
7ello of the ?oyal College of Surgeons6 a prestigious British !egree%
cottage6 ithout electricity an! ith pri(iti8e sanitation% /is (ain co(panion
as 1r% 'alle6 ho li8e! in a cottage across the roa! fro( Achyut% ,t as 1r%
'alle6 ith the support of Achyut6 ho as to establish the (e!ical center an!
hospital for the poor ho li8e! in the 8illages aroun! ?a:ghat%
#o Achyut starting the agricultural school as a sy(bolic act6 bearing itness
that the lan!6 the sacre! ancient lan!6 the ri8er6 the cycle of the seasons6 ere
ali8e6 sanctity as re8i8ing itself% 'asi6 the (ost ancient an! (ost sacre! of the
cities of ,n!ia6 as the soil in hich the see! of reneal lay !or(ant% ,t ha!
aaite! the arri8al of the #eacher for centuries% 'rishna(urti>s 8oice as hear!
again6 an! the !or(ant see! respon!e!%
About this ti(e 1r% ?a( 1har 3isra6 a (athe(atician ho ha! been hea! of
the !epart(ent of (athe(atics in 4uckno "ni8ersity6 as to :oin Achyut in his
ork% ?a( 1har 3isra as a bachelor6 an! ha! !eci!e! to gi8e up his profession
to beco(e a Bu!!hist (onk% /e ha! (et Achyut6 hear! of the teachings of
'rishna(urti6 ga8e up his !ecision to take the robe6 an! ca(e to ?a:ghat% /e
share! the s(all house ith Achyut% An! hen 1r% 'alle starte! the hospital6 1r%
3isra orke! as his assistant6 cleaning oun!s6 ban!aging patients% @o ork
as too (enialG his role as to enable the rural hospital to function in e8ery ay%
Austere6 eru!ite in (athe(atics an! in the sacre! teBts of ,n!ia6 he ha! a close
affinity ith groing thingsHtrees6 shrubs6 or floering grass% /e as 8ery
fasti!ious about foo! an! often in8ite! his frien!s to a Faranasi breakfast of
ja"%is Mluscious syrup*fille! seetsN6 ka&horis Mheat cakes stuffe! ith sa8ory
8egetablesN6 an! !elicious fresh peas6 hich he cooke! ith !elicacy%
,t as about this ti(e that Finoba Bha8e6 one of ;an!hi:i>s (ost truste!
lieutenants6 ha! starte! his Bhoo!an (o8e(ent% /e ha! begun the pada yatras6 a
pilgri(age6 alking on foot fro( 8illage to 8illage6 asking lan!oners for gifts
of lan! for the poor an! the lan!less% #he (o8e(ent as in har(ony ith ,n!ia>s
ethos6 here CuiBotic beha8ior6 sainthoo!6 sacrifice6 an! gestures of
righteousness ere ineBtricably o8en on the loo( of tra!ition an! social action%
Fast nu(bers of young people6 shattere! by ;an!hi:i>s assassination an! not
knoing here to turn6 folloe! Finoba Bha8e% $arva %hoomi gopa ki6 all lan!
belongs to ;o!6$ sang his !isciples% Finoba:i6 the gaunt6 bony6 bear!e! ascetic6
alke! along the !ust*fille! paths of 8illage ,n!ia6 eating frugally6 !e(an!ing
nothing for hi(self% -nly in ,n!ia as it possible to look as one please!6 ithout
self*consciousness% ,n fact6 eccentricity as consi!ere! integral to sainthoo!% 7or
a ti(e the Bhoo!an (o8e(ent eBplo!e! in ,n!ia% ?ipples ere felt e8eryhere%
Chief (inisters an! intellectuals6 the poor an! the affluent6 alke! on foot long
!istances6 ith the saint of Paunar6 a 8illage in 3aharashtra here Finoba:i ha!
his ashram% ?ao Sahib an! Achyut Patar!han ere !eeply (o8e! by the
Bhoo!an (o8e(ent% #hey felt that Finoba as intro!ucing a ne re8olutionary6
non8iolent attitu!e to po8erty% 7ro( the earliest ti(es the 8illages of ,n!ia ha!
gi8en of their bounty6 their labor6 an! their skill to the city !ellers% #he process6
Achyut felt6 ha! to be re8erse!%
,n a sense Achyut as bri!ging6 through his ork at ?a:ghat6 the i(pact of
'rishna:i>s teachings ith his on con!itione! responses to his social
backgroun! an! the i((e!iate i(pact of Finoba Bha8e%
'rishna:i ca(e ith ?a:agopal to Bo(bay in early 19)0% #hey staye! ith
?atansi 3orar:i on Car(ichael ?oa!% #he affectionate at(osphere of the early
!ays as o8er% 'rishna:i as ith!ran an! spent (uch ti(e in his roo(6 alone%
/is laughter as sel!o( hear!6 but the 8oice of ?a:agopal in irritation an! anger
as often hear! fro( 'rishna:i>s roo(%
'rishna:i as gi8ing a 8ast nu(ber of inter8ies6 (eeting sannyasis6
stu!ents6 (en an! o(en bur!ene! ith sorro an! the isolation of ol! age% /e
as hol!ing talks in the co(poun! of the J% J% School of ArtG s(all !iscussion
groups ha! starte!6 but he no longer ca(e an! sat in the li8ing roo( e8ery
(orning an! e8ening% #he chanting in hich 'rishna:i ha! participate! also
en!e!% ?a:agopal appeare! to be !eter(ining hat 'rishna:i coul! or coul! not
!o% At the ti(e6 ?a:agopal as 8ery frien!ly ith Ja(na!as 1arka!as6 ho6
ith his ar!ent lo8e an! !e8otion for 'rishna:i6 reacte! strongly an! ith anger
to ?a:agopal>s insinuations% Ja(na!as ne8er tol! us hat ?a:agopal ha! sai!6 but
hinte! that he ha! accuse! 'rishna:i bitterly% ?a:agopal as frien!ly to (e6 but
e ha! long argu(ents on publications6 organiDations6 an! the like% At ti(es e
!isagree! ith passion% , as not use! to secreti8e attitu!es in public institutions%
?a:agopal as arrogant an! refuse! to anser Cuestions% /e ante! to kno
e8erything6 but as not prepare! to re8eal anything% , tol! hi( that , coul! not
ork ith hi( on these ter(s%
'rishna:i>s public talks6 hoe8er6 bore no trace of the hirlpool that as
re8ol8ing roun! 'rishna:i at ?atansi>s resi!ence%
About this ti(e an inci!ent took place that as to release the arro of
causation hich ulti(ately le! to a co(plete break beteen 'rishna:i an!
?a:agopal% Ba!gere! by ?a:agopal6 ith scenes taking place e8ery !ay6 'rishna:i
as (a!e to say so(ething that affecte! 'rishna:i>s personal integrity% /a8ing
sai! it6 'rishna:i aoke to its total i(plications% #hat is the only ti(e , ha8e seen
'rishna:i in !eep anguish%
/e aske! us to take hi( for a !ri8e to =orli beach% =e alke! along the
seashoreG the ti!e as in an! there as a strong in!% ,n those !ays the =orli
beach as !eserte!% 'rishna:i alke! far ahea! of us6 co(pletely silent6 aloof%
/e stoppe! an! aite! for us% #urning to face us6 he stoo! for a hile6 then
crosse! his han!s across his chest an! sai!6 3ea culpa%$ /e kne that e
un!erstoo!% #hen6 as if fro( a long !istance6 e hear! his 8oice% #he or!s
ha8e been sai!6 the arro has spe!6 , can !o nothing about it% ,t ill fin! its
(ark%$ /e as ne8er to refer to the inci!ent again%
1uring the !ays that folloe!6 the s(all !iscussions an! talks starte! again%
'rishna:i spoke of the necessity to be establishe! in hate8er state arose at a
gi8en (o(entHhatre!6 anger6 gree!6 affection6 generosity% ,s it possible6$ he
aske!6 to be these states co(pletely ithout any (o8e(ent of the (in! aay
fro( the(6 ithout any (o8e(ent either to change or strengthen the(5$
'rishna:i sai! it as essential to ask fun!a(ental CuestionsG they rarely arose
spontaneously% #he (in!6 concerne! ith the tri8ial6 sel!o( pause! to ask the
fun!a(ental Cuestion% An! hen it !i!6 it alays ha! the easy anser arising
fro( hat it ha! alrea!y eBperience!%
=e ha8e been e!ucate! to fight strong e(otions6 the resistance ga8e the(
strength an! foo!% ,s it possible to Cuestion6 ithout a (o8e(ent of the (in!5
Coul! one ask the fun!a(ental Cuestion an! lea8e it in consciousnessHre(ain
ith itHnot let attention an!er aay fro( it5 #o hol! the Cuestion or the
proble( so that it starts unfol!ing its petals6 re8ealing itselfHin the light of
attentionHso that6 fully floering6 there is an en!ing totally5$
,n 19)0 'rishna(urti>s nephe ;% @arayan ca(e to see hi( in Bo(bay% #he
son of 'rishna:i>s el!est brother6 @arayan ha! finishe! his 3%A% an! Cualifie! to
be a layer% 'rishna:i took @arayan to his roo(% ,t as e8ening6 an! 'rishna:i
opene! the in!os so that the setting sun entere! the roo(6 lighting up
'rishna:i>s face% /e aske! @arayan hat he as going to !o% @arayan hesitate!6
an! 'rishna:i suggeste! that he shoul! go to teach at ?ishi Falley% @arayan sai!
he oul! think o8er it% #hat night6 @arayan tol! (e that he felt his hole bo!y
co8ere! ith blue light6 cool an! beautiful% /e struggle! an! pushe! it aay6 but
half an hour later it as there again% @arayan felt that this eBperience ha! ipe!
aay all his proble(s% /e ent to ?ishi Falley in June 19)06 first as a teacher
an! later as 8ice principal%
7ro( ?ishi Falley @arayan ent to -Bfor! to Cualify for his 3%A% in
e!ucation% After a year he re:oine! ?ishi Falley6 but later ent abroa!% /e taught
at one of the ?u!olph Steiner schools for se8eral years% 1eeply intereste! in
Bu!!his(6 he ha! contacts ith (any practicing Bu!!hists in Anglan!% -n a
reCuest fro( 'rishna:i6 he returne! to ,n!ia in 1998 an! took charge as principal
of the ?ishi Falley School%
'rishna:i ent to Faranasi ith ?a:agopal in the late inter of 19)0% 'itty
an! Shi8a ?ao ere aay in the "nite! States6 an! 'rishna:i rote to ask (e
hether he an! ?a:agopal coul! stay in our roo(s in the 1elhi ;y(khana Club6
one of the last re(nants of 1elhi>s colonial past% 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal staye!
there for a night on the ay to ?a:ghat in Faranasi6 here 'rishna:i as to gi8e
fifteen talks to the chil!ren of ?a:ghat School%
#he talks ere a challenge to 'rishna:i% /e ha! to !isco8er or!s in hich he
coul! eBpress hi(self an! be un!erstoo! by chil!ren ho spoke Anglish
haltingly% Co(pleB proble(s of authority6 fear6 sorro6 an! !eath ere being
co((unicate!% 'rishna:i>s pauses6 the intensity of attention6 the inclusi8e
perception6 the affection containe! in his or!s6 touche! the !epth of the (in!s
of the youngest chil!% 'rishna:i>s 8oice as gentle6 his or!s hesitantG he s(ile!
ith his heart an! his eyes an! the chil!ren listene! an! ere Cuiet%
Speaking on January +6 19)+6 'rishna:i sai!6 A!ucation is not till you are
tenty*one6 but till you !ie% 4ife is like a ri8er6 it is alays in (o8e(ent6 ne8er
still% ,t is ali8e% ,f one hol!s to a part of the ri8er an! thinks one un!erstan!s6 then
it is like hol!ing !ea! ater% 7or the ri8er goes by an! if e cannot flo ith it6
one is left behin!% Can one atch the (o8e(ents of the ri8er5 Can one see things
happening on the ri8erbank6 can one un!erstan!6 be face! ith hat is life5$
Speaking of fear ith ut(ost si(plicity6 he opene! up its co(pleBities% /e
ent into the fears that cro! a chil!>s (in!% /e spoke of the nature of fear an!
punish(ent6 the nee! for intelligence% Seeing an! sensing the conser8ati8e
fa(ilies fro( hich the chil!ren ca(e6 he probe! into the or!s to conser8e6$
to hol!6 to guar!% /e !el8e! into the or! tra!ition%$ =hat as it to be
respectable5 ,f6$ he sai!6 you go into it 8ery !eeply6 you ill see that it arises
out of fear of (aking a (istake%$
=hy not (ake a (istake5$ he aske!% =hy not fin! out5 #he ol! people
ha8e not create! a beautiful orl!6 they are full of !arkness6 fear6 corruption6
co(pulsionG they ha8e not create! a goo! orl!% An! perhaps if you are free of
fear in itself an! can face fear in another6 the orl! oul! be totally !ifferent%$
=hat is sorro5$ aske! a chil! of ten% 'rishna:i6 ith anguish6 turne! to the
teachers an! sai!6 ,s it not a terrible thing that a chil! so young shoul! ask5$
#hen to the chil! he spoke of un!erstan!ing of sorro6 of fear% &ou cannot
a8oi! sorro or run aay fro( it% &ou ha8e to un!erstan! it% An! to help you
un!erstan! is the function of the teacher%$
A little girl aske!6 =hat is ;o!5$ an! 'rishna:i sai!6 ,n anser to that
Cuestion6 e are talking to the little girl6 an! also to the ol! people6 the teachers
ill kin!ly listen% /a8e you atche! a leaf !ancing in the sun6 a solitary leaf5
/a8e you atche! the (oonlight on the ater an! !i! you see the other night the
re! (oon5 1i! you notice the bir! flying5 /a8e you !eep lo8e for your parents5
, a( not talking of fear6 of anBiety6 of obe!ience6 but of the feeling6 the great
sy(pathy you ha8e hen you see a beggar6 or a bir! !ie6 or hen you see a bo!y
burnt on the ri8er bank% Can you see all this an! ha8e sy(pathy an!
un!erstan!ing for the rich ho go by in big cars6 an! for the poor beggar as ell
as for the poor "kka horse that is al(ost a alking skeleton5 Can e ha8e the
feeling that this "arth is ours;yours and min" to be (a!e beautiful5
#hen6 behin! it all there is so(ething (uch !eeper% But to un!erstan! that
hich is !eep an! beyon! the (in!6 the (in! has to be free6 Cuiet% #he (in!
cannot be Cuiet ithout un!erstan!ing the orl! aroun! you% So you ha8e to
begin near6 begin ith little things6 instea! of trying to fin! out hat ;o! is%$
,n one of the talks6 he eBplaine! the necessity for the chil! to sit still6 #he
ol!er people gro6 the (ore ner8ous6 fi!gety6 agitate! they beco(e% #hey cannot
sit gently%$
/e tol! the chil! ho to pre8ent the (in! fro( beco(ing i(itati8eG ho the
(in! creates for itself tra!ition hich is the ay of i(itation% Can the (in! be
free5$ he aske!% @ot free fro( eBperience6 but free to eBperience% 7ree!o(
co(es hen the (in! eBperiences ithout tra!ition%$
,n his last talk to the chil!ren6 he spoke of religion% ?eligion co(es hen the
(in! has un!erstoo! the orking of itself% =hen the (in! is Cuiet6 8ery stillH
the stillness is not the peace of !eathG this stillness is 8ery acti8e6 8ery alert6
atchful% #o fin! out hat ;o!H#ruth is6 one has to un!erstan! sorro6 an! the
struggle of hu(an eBistence% #o go beyon! the (in! there (ust be a cessation of
the self6 the O(e%> ,t is only then6 that hich e all orship6 seek6 co(es into
being%$
,n Faranasi e aske! 'rishna:i hat he oul! !o to create a school that
oul! reflect his teachings% /e replie!6 7irst of all there has to be an at(osphere
of i((ensity% #he feeling that , a( entering a te(ple% #here (ust be beauty6
space6 Cuietness6 !ignity% #here (ust be a sense of altogetherness in the stu!ent
an! teacherG a state of floration6 a sense of floering6 a feeling of eBtraor!inary
sacre!ness% #here (ust be truthfulness6 fearlessness% #he chil! (ust put his
han!s to the earth6 there (ust be in hi( a Cuality of otherness%$
/o !o you create this concretely5$
, oul! go into the ay of teaching6 the Cuality of attention6$ 'rishna:i
respon!e!% , oul! enCuire ho to teach the chil! to learn ithout (e(ory
being pre!o(inant% , oul! talk about attention an! not concentration% , oul!
go into the ay the chil! sleeps6 his foo!6 the ga(es he plays6 the furniture in his
roo(G , oul! see that the chil! is attenti8e to the trees6 the bir!s6 the spaces
hich are aroun! hi(% , oul! see that he gros in an at(osphere of attention%$
CHAPTER 17
#he 3in! See(e! to
ABpan! ithout an An!%$
,n 3arch 19)) it ha! been !eci!e! that before returning to Aurope 'rishna:i
oul! rest for a (onth at ?anikhet6 a hill station in the /i(alayas% 1uring the
years of British rule6 ?anikhet6 in the 'u(aon ranges of the /i(alayas6 ha! been
a canton(entHno ci8ilians ha! li8e! there% #he houses6 like all the ho(es built
by the Anglish in the hill stations of ,n!ia6 ere nostalgic copies of Anglish
cottagesHnestle! in gar!ens6 fille! ith fragrant floers an! toering pines an!
!eo!ar trees% #he sharp scent of resin an! s(oke per(eate! the trees% 7loer
bushes ha! been plante! along the roa!si!e6 an! in the su((er they ere ablaDe
ith blosso(%
7ro( ?anikhet lay the route to the sacre! points of pilgri(age6 !eep in the
/i(alayan rangesHto 'e!arnath an! Ba!rinath6 the /i(alayan ho(es of Shi8a
an! FishnuG to the sources of the ri8ers ;anga an! the Ja(unaG an! to 'ailash
an! 3anasaro8ar in #ibet% 'ailash6 the snoboun! (ountain ho(e of Shi8a after
he ha! been accepte! into the Brah(inic pantheon6 as cone shape!% -n one si!e
of the (ountain as 3anasaro8ar6 the lake ith aDure aters herein li8e!
(ythical gol!en sans6 the ham s<% #he soun! of the na(e of the san as
resonant ith the silences of the cos(os6 an! ith the inbreathing an!
outbreathing of prana the life force% -n the other si!e of the (ountain as
?aksasa #al6 a 8olcanic lake ith !ark6 angry aters% #he to lakes sy(boliDe!
the to aspects of Shi8a an! of (in!Hthe turbulence an! the total stillness%
7ro( ?anikhet one coul! see on a clear !ay a 8ast stretch of snotippe!
/i(alayan peaks% #hey ha! sacre! na(esH#risul6 @eelkanth6 @an!a!e8i6
@an!akhot% Sunrise an! sunset6 the blaDing noon!ay sun6 the full (oon at night
Hall re8eale! changing light an! sha!o on their aeso(e6 stea!fast faces%
#hey ere the eternal seers6 the guar!ians of the lan! an! the source of the life*
gi8ing ri8ers%
Achyut ha! gone to ?anikhet an! foun! a house6 Ar!ee6 for 'rishna:i to li8e
in% ,t as arrange! that (y husban! !ri8e 'rishna:i up to ?anikhet fro( 1elhi%
'rishna:i ha! been in Bo(bay gi8ing talks an! !iscussions6 an! it as !eci!e!
that he oul! lea8e for the hills on 3arch 18% ,n Bo(bay6 hoe8er6 he fell ill
ith a high fe8er% 'rishna:i as !eliriousG he coul! not bear noise an! his be!
ha! to be (o8e! to the sitting roo(% 1r% @athubhai Patel6 an e(inent physician6
eBa(ine! 'rishna:i an! !eter(ine! that he ha! gotten or(s fro( eating ra
foo!% '>s sensiti8e bo!y ha! reacte! 8iolently6 an! the bla!!er an! urinary tract
ere infla(e!% =ith treat(ent6 hoe8er6 'rishna:i reco8ere! rapi!ly% By the
thir! eek of 3arch e ere in 1elhi6 an! on 3arch .8 e ere rea!y to lea8e
for the (ountains%
'itty Shi8a ?ao ha! arrange! for one of her ser8ants6 1ian Singh6 an!
#anappa fro( ?a:ghat6 to go ahea! to ?anikhet an! prepare the house for
'rishna:i% #he :ourney as a little o8er to hun!re! (iles% As 'rishna:i coul!
not bear heat6 e starte! the :ourney at ) A%3%
'rishna:i sat in the front seat ith (y husban!6 ho as !ri8ing6 an!
3a!ha8achari an! , sat at the back% #he early (orning air as cool6 an! e
co8ere! (ost of the :ourney to the foothills before the sun as too hot% 'rishna:i
ha! alays been a 8ery goo! !ri8er% /is eBtensi8e aareness coul! sense !anger
secon!s before catastrophe struck% But as a back*seat !ri8er he as 8ery
!isturbing% #hroughout the :ourney he instructe! Jayakar to !o this an! not to !o
thatG arning hi( of approaching !angers% Se8eral ti(es e suggeste! that
'rishna:i sit ith us in back6 but he as intent on staying here he as%
3a!ha8achari an! , began to !iscuss 8arious proble(s connecte! ith self*
knoing% =e ha! been cli(bing stea!ilyG the 8ie as of aterfalls an! steep
gorges an! hillsi!es co8ere! ith rho!o!en!ron% =e looke! out at the changing
8egetation6 the rocks an! precipices6 the rushing strea(s% =e ere speaking of
aareness6 an! splitting hairs as to its nature6 hen su!!enly e felt a :olt% =e
pai! no attention an! continue! our con8ersation% A fe secon!s later6 'rishna:i
turne! roun! an! aske! us hat e ere !iscussing% Aareness6$ e sai!6 an!
i((e!iately starte! asking hi( Cuestions about it% /e listene!6 looke! at us
CuiDDically6 an! then aske!6 1i! you notice hat happene! :ust no5$
@o%$
=e knocke! !on a goat6 !i! you not see it5$
@o%$
#hen ith great gra8ity he sai!6 An! you ere !iscussing aareness%$ @o
(ore or!s ere necessary% ,t as !e8astating%

#he house in ?anikhet as o8ergron ith creepers6 the gar!en s(othere!
ith ee!s6 but !eo!ars an! pines surroun!e! the house% #he sharp freshness of
resin per(eate! the roo(s% ,t as intensely Cuiet ith the silence that is foun! in
lone houses situate! in forests%
3y husban! an! , returne! to 1elhi after staying o8ernight% 3a!ha8achari
ha! to go to 3a!ras6 an! he acco(panie! us back% Achyut staye! ith 'rishna:i
for a fe !ays%
'rishna:i ent for long alks alone% A(ongst pine trees an! !eo!ar forests
he beca(e lost6 but instincti8ely foun! his ay ho(e% #he trees against the
back!rop of the /i(alayan peaks ere a !elight% /e spoke of these peaks
stretching fro( @epal to the Ba!rinath ca8es2 #hey ere siBty (iles aay fro(
us6 ith a 8ast blue 8alley beteen the( an! us stretching for o8er to hun!re!
(iles% #hey fille! the horiDon fro( en! to en!% #he inter8ening siBty (iles
see(e! to !isappear6 an! there as only that strength an! solitu!e% #hese peaks6
so(e rising o8er .)6<<< feet6 ha! !i8ine na(es6 for the go!s li8e! there6 an! (en
ca(e to the( fro( great !istances to orship an! to !ie%
#he (in! see(e! to co8er the 8ast space an! the unen!ing !istance6 or
rather the (in! see(e! to eBpan! ithout an en! an! behin! an! beyon! the
(in! there as so(ething that hel! all things in it%$
/e then Cuestione! his on perceptions% #hat hich is beyon! all
consciousness cannot be thought about or eBperience! by the (in!% But hat is it
then that has percei8e! an! is aare of so(ething totally !ifferent fro( the
pro:ections of the (in!5 =ho is it that eBperiences it5 -b8iously it is not the
(in! of e8ery!ay (e(ories6 responses an! urges%
,s there another (in!5$ he asks hi(self% ,s there a part of the (in! that is
!or(ant6 to be aakene! only by that hich is alone an! beyon! all (in!5 ,f this
is so then ithin the (in! there is alays that hich is beyon! all thought an!
ti(e% An! yet that cannot be6 for it is only speculati8e thought an! therefore
another in8ention of the (in!%
Since the i((ensity is not born of the process of the (in!6 then hat is it
that is aare of it5 ,s the (in! as eBperiencer aare of it6 or is it that i((ensity
is aare of itself because there is no eBperiencer5 #here as only that6 an! that
as aare of itself ithout (easure(ent% ,t ha! no beginning an! no or!%$
1
,n the e8ening 'rishna:i sat before the fire an! aske! Achyut to teach hi(
so(e Sanskrit% Achyut began rea!ing the Mandukya 5panishad ith 'rishna:i%
#he 5panishad hich unfol!s the soun! of =m
1
Hthe total 8oel soun! in hich
there are no consonantsHthe =m soun! that re8erberates in the uni8erse an! in
the ca8erns of the heart hen all outer soun! has en!e!%
Achyut aske!6 =hat is rong ith the chanting of V( if the (in! gros
still5$
,s your (in! still5$
7or that secon! hen e recite!Hthe O,> as not6$ Achyut sai!%
'rishna:i>s response negate! all anchors an! props% =hat you are !oing
in8ol8es ti(e% #hat has nothing to !o ith ti(e% #i(e can ne8er lea! to the
other%$
Achyut returne! to the plains after a fe !ays an! 'rishna:i staye! alone at
Ar!ee% A series of letters to (y husban! re8eals the (eticulous care 'rishna:i
took of his clothes% /e alays ha! a passionate feeling for color an! teBture%
/an!o8en teBtiles enchante! hi(% ,n ,n!ia he !resse! ith elegant si(plicity6
earing a long kurta reaching belo the knees an! loose py:a(as% 7or ar(th
he ore a :acket or a &hoga% /e ha! se8eral of these beautiful oolens6 gi8en to
hi( by 3rs% Besant6 (a!e of 'ash(ir tus ool6 in ar( honey*bron tones%
,n 19+8 an! for so(e years folloing6 he ore only hite% But later his lo8e
of the earth colors of the (en!icant pre8aile!% 7rien!s brought hi( han!o8en
cottons an! the hea8y6 han!spun coarse linen*teBture! kurtas (a!e fro( the
aste that re(ains after silk has been reele!6 in colors ranging fro( thick crea(
to burnt u(ber an! the bark!ye! tones orn by Bu!!hist (onks%
4i8ing alone6 ith a cook to look after his nee!s6 'rishna:i renee! hi(self%
/e ent for long alks6 con8erse! ith the snoy peaks6 looke!6 listene! to the
orl! ithin hi( an! aroun! hi(% /e once tol! us a story of a large nu(ber of
(onkeys6 the black*face! langurs hich use! to sing on the tree*tops
surroun!ing Ar!ee% -ne (orning he as riting in his roo(6 the in!o as
open% Su!!enly6 he ha! a feeling of eyes atching hi( intently% /e looke! up
1
Also6 Aum%
an! foun! a full*gron (onkey sitting on the in!osill an! looking into the
roo( ith intensity% 'rishna:i arose an! alke! toar!s the (onkey% =hen they
ere face to face6 the (onkey put out its han!% 'rishna:i took it an! the (onkey
let hi( hol! it% #here as co(plete trust% 'rishna:i !escribes the touch of the
pal( as strong6 infinitely soft6 !espite callouses hich ha! for(e! fro( cli(bing
branches% 7or a fe (inutes they re(aine! hol!ing han!s6 then the langur trie!
to enter the roo(% 'rishna:i pushe! hi( back6 gently but fir(ly6 an! close! the
in!o%
CHAPTER 18
Can #here Be Action
ithout ConseCuence5$
#he inter of 19)) sa 'rishna:i in Faranasi% /e ha! co(e there ith ?osalin!
fro( Sy!ney% /is astonishing6 aeso(e beauty as absent% #he face appeare!
age!6 the hair ha! starte! to turn grey%
/e Cuestione! hi(self alou!% =hat is action ithout conseCuence5$ 7or
three !ays he probe! into the Cuestion6 refusing to allo any i((e!iate response6
letting the Cuestion unfol!6 letting it release the energy hel! ithin it% #here as
no lea8ing the Cuestion6 an! !uring the !iscussion (eetings our (in!s probe!
ith hi(% /e refuse! to let us anser fro( the :ita or the sacre! books% 7or hi(
the Cuestion ha! to e8oke its on anser% An! yet e8ery anser fro( the past
as a conseCuence6 fro( the present a conseCuence6 an! the pro:ecte! future as
also a conseCuence%
'rishna:i aske!6 Can there be action ithout conseCuence5 Can the past6
future6 be brought together in the present an! eBtinguishe!5 #he past (istake as
a conseCuence6 (y action on it is a conseCuence6 (y refusal to act on it is also a
conseCuence6 an! yet there has to be action ithout conseCuence%$ /e ent on
searching% /e oul! take up the Cuestion6 letting e8ery inti(ation surroun!ing
the Cuestion arise6 percei8ing the response ithout con!e(nation or :ustification
an! so negating it% All enCuiry as tentati8e6 there as a total absence of any
asserti8e state(ent%
#hen su!!enly6 on the thir! !ay6 as if there ha! been re8elation6 he sai!6 Can
one li8e ithout self*concept5 Can one li8e ithout the reflecte! self*i(age5
-nly in that is there action ithout conseCuence%$
=hat !oes that i(ply5$ e aske!%
#o li8e ithout self*concept6$ he respon!e!6 is to be aare of the constant
pro:ection of the self an! seeing it to negate it%$
Another (orning he sai!6 =e !ie through !isease6 ol! age6 suici!e% #he
!ying is the sinking into the unknon6 a su!!en cutting aay6 an obli8ion%$ #hen
he aske! ith great gra8ity6 4i8ing6 can one enter the house of !eath5$
?osalin! as 8isiting ,n!ia after (any years% She as (eeting ol! frien!s
fro( the !ays of her life in the #heosophical Society6 an! (a!e ne frien!s6
a(ong the( 3alti @oro:i an! 'an:i 1arka!as6 Ja(na!as>s brother an! an ol!
associate of 3rs% Besant% 'itty Shi8a ?ao as also in Faranasi6 an! they spent
long !ays together% Sunan!a Patar!han ha! been orking as 'rishna:i>s
secretary fro( 19+96 hile 'rishna:i as in ,n!ia% She tra8ele! ith hi( aroun!
the country6 taking shorthan! notes6 typing his letters6 atten!ing the talks an!
!iscussions% ?osalin! like! her an! ga8e her (uch affection% /oe8er6 in
?osalin!>s relationship to 'rishna:i6 the tensions ha! accentuate!% 4ike
?a:agopal6 her 8oice as often hear! re(onstrating ith 'rishna:i% 7ace! ith
her anger6 'rishna:i as to tell us later6 he beca(e totally silent an! passi8e% /e
listene! ith precision6 !eeply an! eBtensi8ely6 but refuse! to react% /er inability
to e8oke a response fro( 'rishna:i (a!e ?osalin! furious% ,t as a confrontation
ith no opponent% #he other ha! 8anishe!%
=ith an unen!ing strea( of Cuestions6 ?osalin! sought to fin! the
influence$ that un!erlay the see(ing change in 'rishna:i% 7or (any years
?osalin! ha! taken 'rishna:i for grante!6 an! no she foun! that there as
su!!enly no 'rishna:i to contact or ith ho( she coul! establish a relationship%
-bstinately6 ?osalin! insiste! that 'rishna:i agree to tra8el ith her to see the
A:anta an! Allora ca8es% 3alti @oro:i an! Sunan!a acco(panie! the(% ,t as
8ery hot% #he lan!scape as stark6 the 1eccan rocks (olten in the sun% #here
as little green to relie8e the eye% 'rishna:i suffere!6 an! hen they returne! to
Bo(bay6 the situation re(aine! gri(%
'rishna:i returne! alone to 1elhi in early -ctober 19)6% Beauty fille! hi(%
/e as speaking again in the capital city after (any years6 un!er an open
shamiana6 a tent erecte! on the lans of the Constitution Club% 1iplo(ats6
sannyasis6 bureaucrats6 clerks6 professors6 an! a sprinkling of young people ca(e
to hear hi(%
#he young ere a han!ful% ,n spite of the (assacres of partition6 the euphoria
of free!o( continue! at its Denith% #he glitter an! affluence generate! by the
skills an! artifacts of science an! technology ere beco(ing apparent in ,n!ia%
#he young (in!s6 sti(ulate! an! responsi8e to 8ast ne eBplosions of
knole!ge in the =est an! the opportunities being release! by technology6 ere
not intereste! in self*knole!ge or the long perspecti8e% ,t as the i((e!iacy
an! possibilities of the ne that fire! their (in!s%
#he ol!er generation as still steepe! in the sterility of !ea! tra!itionsG ith
the !eath of ;an!hi:i6 the ;an!hians ha! turne! to Finoba Bha8e% ,ntrigue! by
?ao Sahib an! Achyut>s total in8ol8e(ent ith 'rishna:i an! his teachings6 the
;an!hians ha! starte! atten!ing 'rishna:i>s talks% #he s(all group !iscussions
ha! co((ence!% Shankar ?ao 1eo an! 1a!a 1har(a!hikari6 to 8ery i(portant
(e(bers of the Sar8a Se8a Sangh ere seen at e8ery gathering%
Shankar ?ao 1eo6 (ature! in the free!o( struggle6 as steepe! in a tra!ition
of austerity% /ighly e!ucate!6 he as one of the bare*bo!ie! folloers of
;an!hi:i6 i(posing on hi(self rigi! !isciplines of fasting an! practice of
%rahma&harya6 hich in8ol8es a 8o of total celibacy% /e ha! gone to :ail
se8eral ti(es6 ha! been place! in C$ classHthe loest class reser8e! for
prisoners% Political prisoners place! in C$ class ha! to ear prison gar(ents6 eat
prison foo!6 an! ere not per(itte! nespapers or books% ?e8olte! by the
pre8alent in:ustices6 he ha! proteste! an! gone on a fast% /is refusal to break his
fast ha! infuriate! the prison authorities% /e ha! been place! on the triangle an!
flogge! an! left :ail ith per(anent scars% A il!ness an! passionate urgency for
the uneBpresse! fire! his eyesG he ha! curbe! his senses ith a harsh austerityG
!eep ithin ere frustrations an! unfulfille! !esires6 passions6 an! a(bitions% ,n
:ail Shankar ?ao 1eo ha! co(e in close contact ith Ja8!ekar6 a close frien! of
#ilak an! Bhagat6
1
an! an associate of 3ahat(a ;an!hi fro( 19.<%
?ecogniDe! as intellectuals in 3aharashtra6 they ere steepe! in the finest
tra!itions of learning% =ith the(6 Shankar ?ao 1eo ha! rea! 'rishna(urti>s
books% ,n later years Ja8!ekar an! Bhagat ha! atten!e! 'rishna:i>s talks6 but
ha! ne8er co(e close to hi( personally% #hey felt strongly that 'rishna:i as
eBpressing6 although in a ne language6 the entire A!8aita position of Fe!anta%
,n 19+8 Ja8!ekar an! Bhagat6 in +ok $hakti6 a (uch*respecte!
3aharashtrian :ournal6 rote a siB*colu(n article in hich 'rishna:i as
proclai(e! a realiDe! hu(an being% #he 3aharashtra pan!its accepte! 'rishna:i
in 19+8G it as late in the 199<s before the pan!its of Faranasi !i! the sa(e%
=ith the acceptance of 'rishna:i by Ja8!ekar an! Bhagat6 a strea( of
3aharashtrian thinkers an! riters ere !ran to hi(% #hey sa in hi( a
teacher ho6 ithout contra!icting the past6 ha! shattere! the tra!ition6
transcen!ing it% #hrough hi( they sa re8eale! the lu(inous6 eternal truth%
,n 19+8 Shankar ?ao 1eo ha! been in @e 1elhi for the (eetings of the
Constituent Asse(bly% /e ha! also participate! in the s(all !iscussions
'rishna:i ha! hel! at the ti(e% At one of the first ones6 'rishna:i ha! been
!iscussing 8iolence an! nationalis(% Shankar ?ao 1eo sai! of this6 #o
un!erstan! 'rishna:i you ha! to un!erstan! the O,%> 'rishna:i ha! sai!6 O#he
un!erstan!ing of the ,$ in8ol8es ti(e an! spaceG un!erstan!ing is6 hen ti(e
has en!e!%> $
1
19)6 as the year of the Bu!!ha Jayanti6 an! the go8ern(ent of ,n!ia in8ite!
/is /oliness the 1alai 4a(a fro( #ibet to 8isit ,n!ia an! tra8el to the 8arious
sacre! sites associate! ith the Anlightene! -ne% Apa Sahib Pant6 a senior officer
in the 7oreign Ser8ice ho at the ti(e as political officer in Sikki(6 ha! been
aske! to acco(pany the 1alai 4a(a aroun! the country% #hey tra8ele! in a large6
air*con!itione! train acco(panie! by a 8ast entourage%
As religious an! secular hea! of the #ibetan state6 the life of the 1alai 4a(a
as strictly boun! by protocol% /e ha! been a figure of (ystery% ,n #ibet6 rarely
8isible eBcept to a fe la(as6 he li8e! a life of strict !iscipline an! (e!itation%
#his oul! be the first 8isit of any 1alai 4a(a out of that (ysterious lan!%
=hen he arri8e! in 3a!ras in 1ece(ber6 Apa Sahib Pant ha! suggeste! to
the tenty*year*ol! incarnation of the !i8ine that he 8isit 'rishna(urti6 ho at
the ti(e as staying in Fasant Fihar% Apa Sahib ha! relate! the life of 'rishna:i
an! the eBtraor!inary nature of his teachings% #he young (onk ha! co((ente!6
A @agar:unaQ$
.
an! ha! eBpresse! a keen !esire to (eet 'rishna:i% #hose
aroun! the 1alai 4a(a ere (ost !istresse!% ,t as a shattering of all protocol%
But the 1alai 4a(a insiste!6 an! the (eeting as arrange!%
1
Bal ;anga!har #ilak as a Brah(in intellectual6 scholar6 riter6 an! free!o( fighter% A highly re8ere!
an! respecte! figure in 3aharashtra6 he as trie! by the British go8ern(ent on charges of se!ition an!
i(prisone! in Bur(a%
Bhagat as a philosopher6 free!o( fighter6 an! e!itor of an i(portant 3arathi nespaper6 +ok
$hakti%
.
A reference to the secon!*century Bu!!hist sage ho taught a!herence to the 3i!!le Path$ as also the
ay of the great negation%
,n Apa Sahib>s or!s6 'rishna:i recei8e! Kthe 1alai 4a(aL si(ply% ,t as
breathtaking to feel the electric affection that instantly flashe! beteen the(%$
#he 1alai 4a(a gently but !irectly aske!6 Sir6 hat !o you belie8e in5$ an!
then the con8ersation ent on in al(ost (onosyllabic sentences6 as it as a
co((unication ithout rhetoric% #he young 4a(a as feeling on fa(iliar
groun! as 'rishna:i (a!e hi( coeBperience%$ -n the return :ourney to ?a:
Bhaan6 the 1alai 4a(a as to say6 A great soul6 a great eBperience%$
.
#he
1alai 4a(a also eBpresse! a ish to (eet 'rishna(urti again%
7ro( the (i!*19)<s Shankar ?ao 1eo beca(e a fa(iliar figure at 'rishna:i>s
talksG e8ery inter he oul! 8isit Faranasi an! stay at the Sar8a Se8a Sangh
hea!Cuarters6 hich ha! been built at the entrance to ?a:ghat% =ith ?ao Sahib
Patar!han6 , ha! often 8isite! hi( there an! ha! foun! hi( engage! in shram
danHthe gift of ork6 hich along ith the gift of lan!6 as part of the
teachings of the her(it Finoba Bha8e% =e oul! fin! Shankar ?ao sitting for
hours ith a innoing fan6 picking tiny stones out of rice% ,t a(use! (e to see
hi( !o this see(ingly absur! acti8ity6 but his action appeare! perfectly
appropriate to ?ao Sahib%
Shankar ?ao use! to co(e to hear 'rishna:i>s talksG he oul! atten! the
!iscussions an! so(eti(es (eet ' alone% 'rishna:i oul! banter ith Shankar
?ao6 (ake hi( laugh6 point to the ri8er an! the trees6 speak of beauty6 lo8e6 an!
the nature of co(passion6 an! o8erhel( hi( ith affection% Shankar ?ao
oul! listen6 poerfully attracte! by 'rishna:i6 yet his hole backgroun!
rebelle! against '>s or!s% /e as incapable of co(prehen!ing 'rishna:i>s
insistence on the nee! for lo8e6 beauty6 an! sensiti8ity% 'rishna:i>s attitu!e to the
sense an! to !esire perpleBe! hi(% 4isten to !esire as you listen to the in!
a(ongst the trees6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #he ;an!hian6 nurture! on i!eas that
!e(an!e! the !estruction of !esire6 !i! not kno here to turn or hat to say%
Shankar ?ao foun! it !ifficult to reconcile 'rishna:i>s teaching ith ;an!hian
i!eals%
'rishna:i>s response to Shankar ?ao>s !eter(ine! austerity an! his harsh
!enial of the senses as later reflecte! in 'rishna:i>s talks in Bo(bay% ,n
7ebruary 19)9 'rishna:i as to say6 #o (ake the senses insensiti8e to that
hich is te(pestuous6 contra!ictory6 conflicting6 sorroful6 is to !eny the hole
!epth an! beauty an! glory of eBistence% ?eality !e(an!s your hole being6 a
total hu(an being6 not ith a (in! that is paralyDe!% #here is a constant battle
beteen Ohat , a(> an! Ohat , shoul! be%> #his is the eb of sorro on hich
(an is caught% #o curb your senses is the culti8ation of insensiti8ity% #hough you
(ay be seeking ;o!6 your (in! is (a!e !ull%$
,n the s(all !iscussions the nature of being an! beco(ing ere eBplore!%
;er(inating in the !ark recesses of the (in!6 !esire to beco(e is the soil in
hich sorro takes root%$ #he (in!6 to be free6 has to see itself as the result of
ti(eHonly in the energy of self*knoing is true enCuiry possible%
#here is an astoun!ing (o8e(ent in the stillness of !isco8ery (o(ent to
(o(ent6 hich !estroys ger(ination in the (in!% Self*knoing is the
un!erstan!ing of beco(ing in oneself% #he religious re8olution is the en!ing of
beco(ing%$ -n his e8ening alks on the =orli beach he spoke of the act of
listening as unpre(e!itate! an! uncalculate!% ,t is an action of truth6 for in it is
total attention6$ an! of silence as the source of all creation%$ #hen he (a!e a
se(inal state(ent6 hich as to fin! eBpression again in his talks% Can there be
a feeling ithout thought5 Can you ri!e a feeling ithout !irecting it6 seeking to
change it6 calling it goo! or ba!5 #ry it6$ he sai!%
Shankar ?ao as present at the talks an! at the s(all !iscussions% /is
conflicts an! his co(pleB reactions see(e! to intensify% Shankar ?ao 1eo as
incapable of li8ing life ith both passion an! austerity% ,n Bo(bay 'rishna:i
aske!6 ,f you kne that you ere about to !ie6 hat oul! you !o5 Can you
li8e one hour co(pletelyHli8e one !ayHone hourHas if you ere going to !ie
the neBt hour5 But if you !ie so that you are li8ing fully in this hour6 there is
enor(ous 8itality6 tre(en!ous attention to e8erything% &ou look at the spring of
life6 the tear6 you feel the earth6 the Cuality of the tree% &ou feel the lo8e that has
no continuity an! no ob:ect% #hen you ill fin! in that attention that the O(e> is
not% ,t is then that the (in!6 being e(pty6 can rene itself%$
,n the inter of 19)6 Fi(la #hakkar6 a young o(an !e8otee of Finoba
Bha8e6 as to acco(pany Shankar ?ao an! 1a!a 1har(a!hikari to see
'rishna:i in Faranasi% She as a 3aharashtrian6 passionate of speech6 learne! in
Sanskrit an! the ancient ,n!ian teBts% 7ro( her chil!hoo! she as attache! to a
religious life6 an! ha! 8isions of 'rishna an! other (ystical eBperiences% ,n
search of a guru6 for so(e years she ha! been a !isciple of #ukro:i 3ahara:6 an
accepte! saint of 3aharashtra6 an! later ha! left hi( to :oin Finoba Bha8e% She
ha! alke! ith hi( through the 8illages of ,n!ia% Preaching ca(e naturally to
her% She sa herself as a o(an of !estinyG this ga8e her enor(ous energy6
eloCuence6 an! !ri8e%
1uring !iscussions 'rishna:i6 sensing her self*i(age6 sai! to her6 1on>t try
to eBperience truth through Shankara6 'rishna6 ;an!hi6 or 'rishna(urti%$ She
Cuestione! hi(6 but foun! that there appeare! to be no relationship beteen the
Cuestions she aske! 'rishna:i an! his responses% 7or his responses ere a
challenge to her (in! an! its assu(ptions%
Fi(la #hakkar ha! been practicing intense yogic sadhanas6
1
an! she as
suffering fro( a se8ere pain in the ear% #he trouble in her ear persiste!6 an! her
frien!s ha! tol! her that it as !ue to the aakening of the kundaini% -ne
(orning hen she6 Shankar ?ao6 an! 1a!a 1har(a!hikari ere !iscussing so(e
aspect of the teaching ith 'rishna:i6 1a!a spoke of Fi(la>s ear trouble% /e tol!
'rishna:i that it as relate! to Fi(la>s yogic practices6 but 'rishna:i !i! not
agree% /e aske! her to see a !octor6 as he felt that it as not a (ystical
eBperience but a physical illness% She as !istresse! to hear 'rishna:i say this6
but later ent to an ear surgeon an! in 196< as operate! on in Bo(bay% #he
pain !isappeare!6 but she beca(e totally !eaf in one ear%
,n 1ece(ber 196< she (et 'rishna:i again in Faranasi ith Shankar ?ao an!
1a!a% 1uring the con8ersation the !eafness as (entione!6 an! 'rishna:i
su!!enly sai!6 3y (other use! to tell (e hen , as 8ery young that , ha! the
1
$adhana2 practice of austerity or !iscipline%
poer to heal in these han!s%$ /e sai! it shyly6 as alays hen he spoke of
hi(self% =oul! you like (e to see hether , can help you ith your ear5$
Fi(la as taken aback% Brought up in a tra!ition hich (a!e her react strongly
against all (iracle (akers6 she sai! she !i! not belie8e in these things6 an! so the
(o(ent passe!% 1a!a later chi!e! her an! tol! her that she shoul! not ha8e
refuse!G 'rishna:i as not like the or!inary sadhu li8ing on (iracles% After (uch
!iscussion6 she ent back to 'rishna:i an! sought his help%
'rishna:i ha! a certain ay of perfor(ing an act of healing% #he sufferer sat
on a chair6 'rishna:i stoo! behin!6 an! place! his han!s on the hea! of the
patient% #hen6 ith a gesture6 he see(e! to thro off hat ha! entere! his han!s%
/e oul! repeat this se8eral ti(es% #hen he place! his han!s on the patient>s
hea! for se8eral (o(ents6 after hich he aske! the person to sit Cuietly for a
hile% 'rishna:i in8ariably ashe! his han!s afterar!% ,n this ay6 for se8eral
!ays 'rishna:i place! his han!s on Fi(la>s ear6 an! slight hearing returne!%
Fi(la folloe! 'rishna:i to Bo(bay6 here he as gi8ing talks% /e aske!
her about her ear% She sai! she as hearing the soun! of a flute in the !eaf ear%
/e tol! her that she as translating the soun! into her on i(ageryG he aske! her
to stop !oing so an! to use ice packs on the ear to cure the noise% She as later to
follo 'rishna:i to 4on!onHan! then to Saanen in SitDerlan!6 here he
continue! his therapy% 7ro( Saanen she rote to 1a!a :oyfully6 , a( cure!6 an!
can hear clearly%$
At an inter8ie in =i(ble!on6 Fi(la aske! 'rishna:i about his healing
poers% /e tol! her6 , a( afrai! you on>t un!erstan!%$
She folloe! hi( to ;staa!6 SitDerlan!% 'rishna:i as not looking ell6 an!
appeare! to be un!er a strain% She aske! hi( again about his poer to heal6 as
she felt that the healing ha! affecte! her (in! as ell as her bo!y% #he !eafness
as cure!6 an! the (in! too ha! been release!6 free! fro( bon!age% She felt
so(ething insi!e let loose6 can>t stan! frontiers%$ 'rishna:i as to say to her
8ery seriously6 =ho tol! you that the to are relate!5$ She again Cuestione!
hi( on the eBplosion$ ithin her% But he !i! not encourage her in her belief6
an! refuse! to accept that his touch ha! brought about !eep psychic changes an!
release fro( bon!age% She !eci!e! not to atten! any (ore of 'rishna:i>s talks6
but to start speaking of reality6 on her on%
0
3eanhile6 Shankar ?ao>s inner conflicts ere intensifying% ,n 196.6 in the
(i!st of the Chinese conflict an! the trau(atic confrontation beteen 'enne!y
an! 'rusche86 Shankar ?ao !eci!e! to lea! a peace (arch to China% /is frien!s
trie! to !issua!e hi(6 but he as a!a(ant% So a s(all ban! starte! alking the
!usty6 o8erlan! trail% @o one as 8ery clear hat route they ere to takeG
frontiers ere forgotten6 but the spirit ha! !eci!e! an! so they (arche!% Poet
Allen ;insberg an! his frien! Peter -rlo8sky6 foun!ers of the Beat (o8e(ent6
ith its re8olt against the establish(ent an! its Cuestioning of all (aterial 8alues6
ere in ,n!ia at the ti(e% #hey ere seeking #ruth on the Faranasi ghats6 along
ith ferocious Aghori Baas an! @ath Panthis% 1elighte! by Shankar ?ao>s act
of lunatic hu(anity6 they alke! part of the ay ith hi(6 chanting %hajans in
their nasal A(erican 8oices%
1
#he Central Bureau of ,n8estigation MCB,N gre suspicious of these to !irty6
long*haire!6 bear!e! foreigners% #hey refuse! to eBten! their 8isas% , recei8e! a
telegra( in 1elhi fro( the( hich rea!6 C,1 KCri(inal ,n8estigation
1epart(entL harass(ent6 8isa eBtensions !enie! telegraphe! @ehru6 ;albraith
an! 4or! ;anesh arri8e 1elhi 3on!ayHAllen an! Peter%$ , eBplaine! the
proble( of these =estern seekers to Fisanathan6 a 8ery sy(pathetic but cynical
secretary of the ho(e (inistry6 ho tol! (e that their telegra( a!!resse! to
Pri(e 3inister @ehru as before hi(6 an! that (y na(e ha! been gi8en to
8ouch for their integrity% #heir 8isas ere eBten!e!% 4ater6 they re:oine! Shankar
?ao 1eo>s (arch% -n 3arch 166 19606 they rote2
1ear Pupul6
=e ent on elephant ri!e in Doo I then ent out to 'hur:a an! spent a !ay alking ith
Shankar ?ao 1eo I other (archers% #hey are (aking sense i%e% confronting lou!speaker*
hysteria ith person*to*person cal(% Spent night ith the(G they took us in I treate! us fine
an! e touche! their alking feet I left% , phone! your house hen e got back to 1elhi6 your
husban! sai! you ere still out% , guess he tol! youH
-'H
lo8e6 Allen%
/ollo Pupul I Babu Pa an! Babu 3a6
,t as a :oy to alk ith the( !ay I night before the alk e slept ith the( in a one
roo( house ashra( all of us in the one roo(6 sleeping neBt to (e as a fello na(e Jain fro(
3a!ras ho rites articles for a Bu!an KBo8a>s orkL nespaperHalso a young girl fro(
Bangalore (arrie! to an Austrian ;an!hian fello both of ho( are on the alk to Peking last
na(e 1A1A as acco(panying Shankar ?ao for a fe (onths alk I talkingH1A1A
(aking :okes cheering e8erybo!y upH% , hope they (ake it into PekingHit oul! be great if
Bha8e I @ehru I Shankar ?ao 1eo coul! (eet I alk ith each other a !ay I talk aboutH
4o8e I ;anesh
*Peter*
=hat you rea!ing no5
Just finishe! 1alai 4a(a>s autobiography%
Shankar ?ao an! his !usty pilgri(s ere stoppe! at the frontiers of Bur(a%
#hey sat an! aite!6 but the Bur(ese go8ern(ent as a!a(ant% So the tra8elers
ha! to turn back an! !isperse% #he nespaper co((ents ere satirical6 the
scoffers laughe!6 an! Shankar ?ao as !eeply hurt%
,n the inter of 1961 ?ao ha! (et 'rishna:i in Faranasi an! ha! spoken to
hi( of the enor(ous fear that as consu(ing hi(% =hen 'rishna:i aske! hi(
hat he feare!6 Shankar ?ao ha! sai!6 1eath%$ 'rishna:i ha! gone into fear an!
!eath ith the ;an!hian6 but later as to say that it as the force! repression of
the senses that as !estroying Shankar ?ao%
1
Aghori Baas are a(ongst the (ost terrifying of the sadhus or holy (en of ,n!ia%
@ath Panthis are folloers of ;orakhnath6 the author of the first treatise on hatha yoga% 1ran fro(
both /in!u an! 3usli( sects6 they are an!erers6 in8ol8e! ith (agical practices an! the orship of
Shi8a an! Shakti% #hey are associate! ith (any archaic legen!s all o8er @orthern ,n!ia%
Bhajans are !e8otional songs sung by groups of (en an! o(en%
After the peace (arch !ebacle6 Shankar ?ao trie! to see 'rishna:i again6 but
'rishna:i as not in ,n!ia in the inter of 196.% #harte!6 fearful6 not knoing
here to turn6 the years of abstinence an! sensory !enial ere su!!enly shattere!
an! the 8iolence ithin Shankar ?ao eBpresse! itself in an act of passion%
/orrifie! ith hi(self6 hol!ing a great bur!en of guilt6 Shankar ?ao ent into
!eep !epression an! beca(e totally !u(b% /is frien!s ere enor(ously
concerne! an! rote to 'rishna:i about hi(%
-n 'rishna:i>s return to ,n!ia in the inter of 19606 ?ao Sahib Patar!han
an! 1a!a 1har(a!hikari brought Shankar ?ao to 'rishna:i% At first Shankar ?ao
refuse! to acco(pany 1har(a!hikari an! ?ao Patar!han6 but su!!enly he
no!!e! his hea! an! cease! to struggle% , re(e(ber the il!*looking6 fierce*
eye!6 !ark6 thick*set6 bare*bo!ie! person earing a high dhoti ho as brought
into the sitting roo( of /i((at @i8as in Bo(bay%
'rishna:i ca(e into the roo( an! sai! to Shankar ?ao6 =hat ha8e you !one
to yourself6 (y frien!5$ an! e(brace! hi(% At 'rishna:i>s touch the il!6
terrible eyes burst into tears% /ol!ing hi( by the ar(6 'rishna:i took hi( to his
roo(% An hour later they ca(e out% Shankar ?ao>s face as cal(6 he spoke to
1a!a ith affection6 an! sai! goo!bye to 'rishna:i% ,t appeare! that 'rishna:i
ha! arne! Shankar ?ao not to touch politics again%
#he nes of the (iracle$ sprea! through the Sar8a Se8a Sangh6 an! through
the( to the ashrams all o8er the country% People flocke! to hear 'rishna:i%
Accor!ing to 1a!a 1har(a!hikari6 this as the secon! (iracle he as to
itness6 the first being the curing of Fi(la>s ear% At 'rishna:i>s talks at Bo(bay6
cro!s gathere! as he alke! to the car fro( the (eeting6 stri8ing to touch his
han!6 to share in his bene!iction% #hese inci!ents Mhich 'rishna:i for (any
years refuse! to ha8e talke! aboutN an! the 8astness of his silent presence
i(presse! people tre(en!ously% #he teaching6 though they all agree! it as
groun!e! in a total non!uality6 appeare! too !istant an! too unattainable%
A serious crisis in the relationship beteen 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal ha!
!e8elope! in ,taly in the su((er of 19)9% Apparently6 ?a:agopal ha! castigate!
'rishna:i for so(e actions he !isagree! ith6 an! (ay ha8e threatene! to gi8e up
orking for hi(%
,n any case6 hen 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal ca(e to ,n!ia in the inter of
19)96 'rishna:i as in se(iretreat an! as not gi8ing public talks%
?a:agopal>s intention appeare! to be to separate 'rishna(urti6 the (an an!
the #eacher6 fro( the central institution set up to further the teaching% ,t later
beca(e e8i!ent that ?a:agopal ha! acco(panie! 'rishna:i to ,n!ia to settle
(atters relating to Fasant Fihar an! 'rishna:i>s copyright% 'rishna:i as 8ague
about institutional structures6 unintereste! in his legal rights an! reponsibilities6
an! agree! to hate8er ?a:agopal ha! !e(an!e!6 although the signatures to the
legal !ocu(ents ere finaliDe! only in the inter of 19)8% 'rishna:i ga8e
?a:agopal an! 'rishna(urti =ritings6 ,nc% all rights on his copyright6 an!
practically ith!re fro( '% =% ,%6 of hich he ha! been the presi!ent%
3a!ha8achari ha! beco(e the secretary of the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation
in 19)9G he as also the '% =% ,% representati8e in ,n!ia% /e ha! beco(e
'rishna:i>s constant co(panion6 his frien! an! his host% 3a!ha8achari6 retire!
fro( ser8ice6 as li8ing in Fasant Fihar% /e as a tough South ,n!ian Brah(in6
an! life in Fasant Fihar as spartan% Austerity as eCuate! ith a lack of
concern for space or for(6 or for an a(bience in hich the creati8e coul!
ger(inate% #he spaces create! by the genius of South ,n!ia6 to be foun! in te(ple
shrines6 in rural cottages6 an! the ob:ects of !aily use6 ha! long been aban!one!%
,nti(ate laun!ry hung on clotheslines6 o8er be!s6 an! lithographs a!orne! the
alls%
Fague feelings ere arising in 'rishna:i about the unke(pt gar!ens an! the
general set*up in Fasant Fihar% #he talks coinci!e! ith the #heosophical
Society con8ention6 an! ere atten!e! by a large nu(ber of ol! people% Fery
fe young people ere in contact ith the Fasant Fihar center or ith
'rishna(urti>s teachings%
7ro( 3a!ras6 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal ent to ?ishi Falley an! later
returne! to 3a!ras% /is ork acco(plishe!6 ?a:agopal returne! to the "nite!
States% /e as seen off at the Bo(bay airport by Sunan!a an! 4% F% Bha8e%
?ecalling the inci!ent6 Sunan!a spoke of ?a:agopal>s anger6 his outbursts against
'rishna:i6 an! Ja(na!as 1arka!as>s fiery responses an! refusal to listen to
?a:agopal>s grie8ances%
, ha! not been able to go to ?ishi Falley or 3a!ras6 as (y husban! ha! ha! a
8ery serious heart attackG , ha! to ait for 'rishna:i in 1elhi% 3y relations ith
(y husban! ha! been intensely !ifficult for so(e ti(eG a 3aharashtrian6 he
coul! not tolerate a ife ho li8e! a life an! ha! interests in!epen!ent of his
on% /e struck out here he kne it oul! oun!6 but in the process the
conflict shattere! hi( an! his bo!y broke !on%
'rishna:i6 acco(panie! by 3a!ha8achari6 ca(e to 1elhi in early 19)8% ,t as
se8eral years since , ha! (et 'rishna(urti the healer% , spoke to hi( of (y
sorro an! pain% /is co(passion containe! (e% /e (a!e (e face the fact that no
relationship eBiste! beteen (e an! the (an , ha! (arrie!% , as not prepare! to
see this% #he pain ca(e in a8es6 !roning (e6 (aking clear sight i(possible%
/e put the to pal(s of his han!s sallo*like roun! (y face% /e (a!e (e look
into his eyes an! see (y sorro reflecte! in the(% /e as the father6 the (other6
the frien!6 an! the teacher6 pro8i!ing to (y anguishe! spirit toughness an!
ten!ernessG but he oul! not let (e look aay% 4ike a pillar of fire6 his seeing
annihilate! the (e(ories6 the loneliness6 the lack of affection that ere the root
of pain% , as brought face to face ith the e(ptiness of sorro% A perception
as generate! that burnt aay the scars of hat ha! been% /e ga8e abun!antly of
his lo8e an! it floe! through (e6 Cuietening the heart% ,f he heale! (e inar!ly6
to (y husban! too he ga8e of his abun!ance% Physically6 healing the !a(age!
heart6 speaking to hi( ith the sa(e affection6 healing his (in! an! spirit%
7ro( 1elhi6 'rishna:i an! 3a!ha8achari ent to Faranasi% , recei8e! se8eral
letters fro( 'rishna:i asking (e to co(e to ?a:ghat6 but (y husban!>s physical
con!ition !i! not per(it hi( to be left alone%
'rishna:i spent the su((er of 19)8 in ,n!ia% /e ha! been offere! the 3% A%
S% bungalo at Chobatia in ?anikhet6 a spacious house situate! at the highest
point at ?anikhet6 ith a (agnificent 8ie of the sno*peake! /i(alayas that
lay enshrine! before it% Again 'rishna:i as in the sacre! (ountains of his
ancestral past% ,n the e8enings he sat an! chante! the Sanskrit hy(ns he ha!
relearne!% /e alke! in the !eo!ar oo!s6 got lost6 foun! the path that le!
ho(ear!%
Speaking of these alks6 he tol! of an e8ening hen nes ca(e that a tiger
ha! kille!6 not 8ery far fro( 'rishna:i>s house% #he neBt (orning 'rishna:i ent
for his usual alk6 an!ering farther an! farther into the :ungle% #he (any
soun!s of the forestHbir!s an! rustling lea8es6 chattering (onkeysHfloe!
through hi(% /e ca(e to a clearing an! foun! that his bo!y refuse! to (o8e%
,nstincti8ely6 he ha! sense! so(ething6 an! the intelligence of the bo!y ha!
respon!e!% All soun! ha! cease!% A8erything see(e! in a state of abeyanceHthe
breathing of nature ha! for an instant been suspen!e!% 'rishna:i stoo! for about
to (inutes6 his (in! totally alert6 his bo!y ithout (o8e(ent% /e coul! feel
the atching% #hen su!!enly it as o8er6 the bir!s calle! to each other6 the
(onkeys sprang fro( tree to tree6 the forest as ali8e6 an! 'rishna:i ca(e ho(e%
,n the e8ening6 reports reache! the house that the tiger ha! been sighte! in the
forest%
?a!hika6 (y eighteen*year*ol! !aughter6 an! Asit Chan!(al6 (y se8enteen*
year*ol! nephe6 ere to 8isit 'rishna:i an! 3a!ha8achari at Chobatia in 3ay%
#hey oul! later go abroa! to continue their e!ucationH?a!hika to Bryn 3ar
in the "nite! States6 here she stu!ie! philosophy6 an! Asit to the ?oyal College
of Science in 4on!on%
'rishna:i as happy to ha8e to young people staying ith hi(%
3a!ha8achari ga8e the( Cuantities of foo!6 an! 'rishna:i taught the( yoga
asanas6 postures% /e shoe! the( ho to alk6 ho to stan!6 ho to see fro(
the back of the hea!% #his as to let seeing flo backar!s an! to see fro(
!epth% /e took the( for long alks6 obser8ing6 listening6 an! teaching the( to
see an! listen%
Pick up a leaf6$ he sai!% 4ook at itHlook far to the sno*cla! peaks an! let
seeing flo beyon! an! then look 8ery near an! relate the looking to listening%
4ook in the Japanese ay6$ he tol! the(6 hich ?a!hika says is to ben! the hea!
an! look at the orl! upsi!e !on% -n one of the alks Asit recollects 'rishna:i
speaking of the sign of the cross6 #he straight line being the O,> an! the
horiDontal bar6 the negation of the O,%> $
3a!ha8achari as to lea8e for 3a!ras before 'rishna:i6 an! 3urli ?ao ho
ha! long been associate! ith 'rishna:i6 ca(e up fro( 1elhi to take 'rishna:i
!on to the plains% #hough the gar!eners an! the other atten!ants coul! not
speak Anglish6 they ha! felt the silent6 (e!itati8e presence of 'rishna:i% #he
nes of the great yogi ha! sprea!6 an! people arri8e! fro( all o8er the ton to
ha8e a darshan an! bi! hi( goo!bye% 'rishna:i greete! the( ith s(iles of
affection6 then before lea8ing he ent roun! the gar!en an! stoo! silently before
the ancient gnarle! !eo!ar an! pine trees% 4ater6 3urli ?ao aske! 'rishna:i hat
he as obser8ing6 an! 'rishna:i replie! that he as bi!!ing fareell to his
frien!s% #he trees ha! been his co(panions for the (onths he as there6 an! he
ha! co((une! ith the(%
,n Bo(bay6 in January 19)86 ?ao Sahib Patar!han brought a frien!6 P% &%
1eshpan!eHa layer6 riter6 an! theoretical 3arBistHto see 'rishna:i%
1isillusione! ith 3arBis(6 eru!ite6 knon for his intellect an! his fierce
te(per6 1eshpan!e ca(e to (eet 'rishna:i in Bo(bay ith his ife6 Fi(la #ai%
Sorro ha! shattere! the(G their son as !ea! an! 3arBis( ha! no ansers% /e
ha! turne! to his Brah(inical past6 an! he an! his ife ha! stu!ie! the !"das an!
the 5panishads% #he /y(n to Creation of the Rigv"da ha! e8oke! in the( an
instant of shattering perception% 1eshpan!e ha! ritten a co((entary on the
hy(n6 through hich he (et ?ao Patar!han%
#he 1eshpan!es (et ith 'rishna:i at /i((at @i8as% 1eshpan!e ha! a frail
bo!y6 his face as lean an! line! ith sorro6 but his spirit ha! an a(aDing
8itality% /e tol! 'rishna:i6 , a( a 3arBist an! , ant to ha8e it out ith you% ,
ha8e to talk to you6 ith no hol!s barre!% ,f hat you say is true6 , ill !rop
3arBis( an! :oin you%$
As 1eshpan!e as to !escribe it later6 he trie! to restle ith 'rishna:i in
or!s% /e challenge! 'rishna:i but foun! no one to co(bat at the other en!% #his
(a!e hi( frustrate!6 angry% #he stronger an! (ore 8ehe(ent his enCuiry6 the
e(ptier the fiel! he face!% Su!!enly6 all enCuiry en!e!% 'rishna:i spoke%
3arBis( is not the proble(6 but the !eath of your chil!%$ #he 1eshpan!es coul!
not procee! further% 4et us speak of that6 an! of your sorro6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#hey sat before 'rishna:i in silence6 hile 'rishna:i spoke to the( on !eath%
=hen or!s en!e!6 the 1eshpan!es alke! out ith (oist eyes% Seeing the(6
?ao aske!6 ,s all ell ith you5$ 1eshpan!e sai!6 All proble(s are o8er%$
#hey ent back to @agpur6 packe! up their belongings6 an! ca(e to li8e at Sarai
3ohana in a cottage on the bank of the ;anga% ,n later years 1eshpan!e an! his
ife ere to be connecte! ith e8ery aspect of the ork at ?a:ghat%
CHAPTER 19
#o Speak ith the
=hole /ea!$
,n early 19)9 it as !eci!e! that 'rishna:i oul! not return to -:ai6 but oul! be
spen!ing his secon! year in ,n!ia% /e ha! been in the country since the autu(n
of 19)9 an! as not to return to Aurope till the spring of 196<% ,t as the longest
perio! that he as to spen! in ,n!ia since he left the country as a young boy%
,n April6 hen the !a(p6 hot eather beca(e unbearable6 'rishna:i !eci!e!
to lea8e Bo(bay for 4ona8ala6 a s(all hillsi!e resort beteen Bo(bay an!
Poona% /e staye! alone ith a ser8ant in the house of A(ru 3ehta6 (y youngest
sister% Sunan!a an! her husban!6 Pa(a Patar!han6 ere at Poona6 hich as
only forty (iles fro( 4ona8ala6 an! often ca(e to 8isit hi(% /e spent (ost !ays
alone%
,n 3ay it ha! been arrange! that he go to 'ash(ir 8ia 1elhi6 acco(panie! by
3a!ha8achari an! a South ,n!ian cook na(e! Para(esaran% =hile in @e
1elhi 'rishna:i insiste! that a ne oolen suit be tailore! for 3a!ha8achari% ,t
ga8e hi( great !elight to see 3a!ha8achari ell !resse!6 an! he re(arke!6
3a(a:i ill look 8ery s(art no%$ -n their arri8al they staye! o8ernight on a
houseboat in Srinagar% #he neBt !ay they (o8e! to a house locate! in a cro!e!
part of the city6 an! in a letter to (e 'rishna:i eBpresse! his unhappiness ith the
rat*infeste! house an! its surroun!ings%
By 3ay .6 'rishna:i an! 3a!ha8achari ha! left Srinagar an! !ri8en to
Achebal6 a s"rai or rest house built by @ur Jehan on the ancient roa! fro( 4ahore
to Srinagar% Achebal is (entione! in the Ak%ar 3ama
1
as a place of orship of
the ancientsG its abun!ant ater6 crystal clear an! col!6 arises fro( a torrential
spring% -ccasionally6 the Ak%ar 3ama goes on to say6 a beautiful yello*spotte!
fish oul! appear in the aters6 an! its appearance as regar!e! as 8ery
fortunate% 7or hun!re!s of years pilgri(s ha! co(e to this sacre! site because of
the healing properties of the spring ater6 though (yths of the yakshis6 ater an!
tree spirits ho guar!e! the spring6 ha! long !isappeare!%
@ur Jehan ha! built a alle! gar!en aroun! the spring6 enclosing an area
plante! ith chinar an! poplar trees% At one point in the enclose! area the spring
that gushe! torrentially fro( the earth fell as a sheet of ater to loer le8els of
the gar!en% #he huge branches of the chinar trees sprea! across the falling
aters% Belo the fall ere pools an! fountains6 an! channels ha! been lai! to
carry the ater to !istant parts of the gar!en% #he channels ere so planne! that
the rays of the sun create! rainbos as they caught the spray of aterfall an!
fountain% 7loers ha! been plante!6 a trifle il!ly6 in areas here the chinar an!
poplar !i! not cast their sha!o% Pa8ilions6 originally built by the 3oghuls6 but
1
Chronicles of Akbar>s life an! rule by Abul 7aDl%
later repaire! an! bearing little trace of their earlier eBCuisite proportions6 ere
place! near the pool% #he thun!er of the aterfall an! the soun! of rippling ater
!i! not intru!e to shatter the silences nor !isturb the bir!s that reste! in the i!e*
trunke! chinar trees% #he countrysi!e as a 8ast carpet of sun*soake! green
young rice fiel!s6 against a back!rop of sno*peake! (ountains6 hich arose
precipitously on the horiDon%
Soon after their arri8al 3a!ha8achari ha! to lea8e for 3a!ras6 as one of his
chil!ren as ill% But Para(esaran staye! on to atten! to 'rishna:i>s nee!s% ,
:oine! 'rishna:i at Achebal on June 66 an! li8e! in a tiny hut neBt to 'rishna:i>s
till the en! of the (onth%
Before , ca(e up to 'ash(ir6 'rishna:i ha! ritten asking (e to bring hi( a
beginner>s book of Anglish6 a copy of Palgra8e>s :od"n Tr"asury of -ngish
!"rs"6 an! a bottle of hair tonic% , ha! also brought up a parcel of alfonso
(angoes6 a fruit 'rishna:i lo8e!% #here as no electricity in Achebal6 an! at
night e use! kerosene lanterns or a petro(aB%
1
' oke at !an an! !i! his yoga asanas an! pranayama6 hich he ha!
learne! fro( B% '% S% ,yengar6 an e(inent teacher of yoga fro( Poona% 'rishna:i
as trying to persua!e (e to learn the yogic asanas6 but , a( by te(pera(ent
physically lethargic an! (y atte(pts to learn ere futile% After 'rishna:i>s
asanas ere o8er6 e ha! a South ,n!ian breakfast of idis an! sam%har or
dosas6 sa8ory rice*an!*lentil cakes6 ith coconut chutney% , !rank coffee6
'rishna:i !rank so(e herbal concoction%
By then 'rishna:i as rea!y for his long alk6 an! , :oine! hi( in cli(bing
the surroun!ing hills% =alking through pine forests6 e cli(be! steep slopesG
'rishna:i as agile6 eBCuisitely balance!6 cla(bering o8er rocks an! taking the
(ost strenuous shortcuts ith ease% , pante! an! sighe!6 but , as use! to the
(ountains fro( chil!hoo! an! (anage! to keep pace ith hi(% /e oul! cli(b
siftly6 then look back at (e6 atching (e struggle to negotiate a particularly
!ifficult rockG so(eti(es he lent a han! an! pulle! (e up behin! hi(6 across
8ery steep slopes% 7ro( the top of the hill6 hich e reache! after long an!
ar!uous cli(bing6 the 8ie as breathtaking% #he alle! gar!en an! the cool
green of rice fiel!s flanke! ith poplar trees lay belo6 hile the startling hite
of the snos surroun!e! us% 'rishna:i as enchante! ith the place%
,n the afternoons6 after resting6 he oul! teach Para(esaran Anglish% ,n the
e8enings e alke! at a sloer pace a(ongst the rice fiel!s6 or ithin the alle!
3oghul gar!en% #he floers ere in full bloo( an! the light in!s carrie! the
fragrance of rose6 lilac6 an! honeysuckle% =atercress gre along the be! of the
strea(6 an! e picke! so(e for our e8ening (eal% #here as a trout hatchery6
an! 'rishna:i spent ti(e atching the sift (o8e(ent of the fish%
'rishna:i as ater>s chil!% /e !elighte! in falling6 leaping6 running ater6
or ater floing o8er lichen*co8ere! boul!ers6 or ater ith no ripple% #he
translucence an! the free!o( of ater6 its enor(ous turbulence6 its stillness or its
thrust through earth an! rock6 e(bo!ie! hi(%
1
Petro(aB2 Before electricity as intro!uce! in ,n!ia6 la(ps fe! ith kerosene oil ith special icks an!
ith a pu(p ere use! to pro!uce a bright light% #he petro(aB is still use! at night in e!!ing
processions%
'rishna:i>s (oo! as youngG no stor(s rage!% 4aughter as on his lips an!
his eyes% /e !rone! (e in co(passion an! affection% At ti(es he as intensely
serious an! conte(plati8e% 3any of the insights that he as to eBplore later in
the year6 in his talks at 3a!ras an! Bo(bay6 ere arising% 4ike the ti!e6 or the
aBing an! aning of the (oon6 his (in! (o8e! in its on rhyth(% , sa this
(an of (ystery6 en!oe! ith li(itless beauty6 co((ent on the the holeness
of sunlight6$ look up at a bu!!ing leaf6 put his han!s on a centuries*ol! tree6
(ake frien!s ith it6 feel its bark6 listen to the thun!er of the sap as it floe!
through the 8eins of a leaf% #he ti(eless is here6 it lies un!er e8ery leaf6$ he
oul! say% , felt the earth on hich e alke!6 talke!6 ate6 an! li8e! as the
groun! of an energy ithout li(it% At ti(es , felt intoBicate!6 as if fe! on
(orning !e%
-n a alk he aske! (e ho , obser8e!6 an! ho , spoke% , as puDDle!% /e
then sai!6 ,s it possible to speak6 sing6 chant6 not fro( the throat an! (outh6 not
fro( the front of the (outh6 but letting the or!s touch the back of the hea!6
through the eyes6 ith attention hel! behin! the eyes6 an! so speak5 #hat is6 to
speak ith the hole hea!%$
=e !iscusse! at length the truly religious (in! an! the scientific (in! as the
only to (in!s that oul! eBist in the years to co(eHa state(ent that he as to
eBplore later in his talks at 3a!ras% /e spoke of !eath an! en!ing as the source
of creation an! the release of an energy that !i! not !issipate% 7or hi(6 listening
as itself the (iracle that trans(ute! an! !eeply penetrate!6 uprooting an!
!estroying the hi!!en bon!s of the (in!%
-n !ark6 (oonless nights e oul! go out an! atch the stars an! the
rece!ing !arkness of space% /e oul! point out the 8arious constellations% /e
spoke of the :ourney into outer space an! the pilgri(age ithin as the !isco8ery
of the en!less% But a petty (in! coul! not e(bark on this pilgri(age of eternity%
A8ery e8ening as a bene!iction%
At night6 after an early !inner un!er the light of the petro(aB6 he oul! recite
poetry fro( the :od"n Tr"asury% 'eats>s -!e to the @ightingale$ as his
fa8orite% ,t as col! at night an! e burne! fireoo! an! !ry pine cones in the
open fireplace% -ccasionally6 he oul! chant in Sanskrit% #he soun!s of his !eep
8oice fille! the roo( an! resoun!e! across the rice fiel!s6 reaching beyon! the
snos% 4istening an! seeing floere! in his pristine presence%
'rishna:i tol! (e that on one of his alks he ha! (et a group of (onks
alking6 ithin the presence of the sno*cla! peaks% #hey ere passing through
brilliant green rice fiel!s6 an! the soaring6 snoy peaks ere afla(e ith the
setting sun% ,n the seeing of the 8astness as the essence of !i8inity% #he (onks6
hoe8er6 alke! ith their eyes narroe! an! focuse! on the groun! before
their feet6 totally unaare of the glory aroun! the(% /oe8er silent their (in!s
beca(e6 he sai!6 it oul! be the silence of the li(ite!6 of s(all spaces6 an! the
8ast eBpan!ing uni8erse oul! ha8e no place ithin it%
A8ery fe !ays , oul! go to Srinagar by car an! return in the e8enings%
'rishna:i ha! great feeling for the han!crafte!6 an! , oul! bring back teBtiles
an! craft ob:ects% /e han!le! the( ith care an! re:oice! in their colors6 their
teBtures6 an! the skill of the crafts(an% , oul! also bring back fresh 8egetables
an! fruit6 for they ere not a8ailable at Achebal%
,n 19)9 , ha! no knole!ge that Achebal as an ancient site of pilgri(age6
an! that the aters of the spring ere hel! sacre!% #he local inhabitants6 ho
ere 3usli(s6 ha! erase! all traces of their archaic past an! the (yths connecte!
ith it% 'rishna:i6 hoe8er6 felt the pulse of the soil6 the re8erberations of the
(any pilgri(s> feet that ha! alke! on the path to the spring% /e often spoke of
the role of the pilgri(% , tol! hi( of an early teBt here the feet of the an!erer
are likene! to a floer% , also sai! that the pilgri(s> route lay in Pahalga(6 about
forty (iles fro( Achebal% But to no a8ail%
, gre aare of ho !ifficult it as to li8e close to 'rishna:i ithout groing
insensiti8e% ,t as like li8ing in front of a laser bea(G one coul! so easily take the
intensity for grante! an! so be scorche! an! shri8el% #o li8e near hi( as to li8e
in a fiel! of obser8ation an! listening% -ne ha! to be i((ensely aake so that
the spine straightene!6 the (in! beca(e alert6 the bo!y still% /e as atchful of
e8ery (o8e(ent6 e8ery thoughtG the ay one alke!6 the agitate! (o8e(ents of
the bo!y6 the ay one spoke6 the pitch of the 8oice6 the silences% /e listene! to
e8ery responseHas aare hen the (in! i(itate!6 hen it as ali8e ith
insight% =ithout a or! sai!6 one felt the listening an! the obser8ing% But the
being ho as near6 ho atche!6 ho listene!6 as ithout :u!g(ent% ,t as
like seeing one>s face in a finely polishe! ancient bronDe (irror%
A little !istance fro( us li8e! a (an ho in his young !ays ha! taken
sannyas an! ha! later gi8en up the robe% /e as a constant 8isitor6 bringing
'rishna:i a 8egetal bre he sai! as goo! for the ki!neys% 'rishna:i6
instincti8ely a naturopath6 !elighte! in herbs an! !rank the bre6 insisting that it
as goo! for his ki!neys%
By the en! of June , returne! to 1elhi% 3a!ha8achari as soon to re:oin
'rishna:i in Pahalga(6 the (ain base ca(p for pilgri(s :ourneying to A(arnath6
one of the (ost sacre! pilgri(ages in ,n!ia% At the A(arnath ca8e high in the
/i(alayas6 a natural linga( of sno as for(e! an! (elte! to the cyclic rhyth(
of the (oon% #he (ain pilgri(age as on the full*(oon !ay of August hen the
linga( appeare! in its perfect o8ali! for(6 but fro( (i!*June sannyasis an!
lay(en :ourneye! to the ca8e% #he :ourney as haDar!ous% #he path lay across
high passes an! through precipitous gorges% Along the route as Sheshnag6 a
lake of li(pi! blue6 against hich toere! high (ountains% #he full (oon rising
behin! the highest peak6 (aking lu(inous the eternal snos6 as likene! to the
crescent (oon resting on Shi8a>s (atte! locks%
At Pahalga(6 'rishna:i staye! at a tourist hut set a(ongst pines% #hrough the
8alley6 to ri8ers (a!e turbulent by the (assi8e boul!ers that lay along their
be!6 !escen!e! fro( the high placesG the 4i!ar arising fro( the 'olahai glacier
an! the other6 the A(arganga6 so(eti(es calle! Sheshnag6 along the banks of
hich lay the path to A(arnath%
$annyasis an! 8isitors fro( Srinagar ca(e to see 'rishna:i6 an! he talke!
ith so(e of the(% /e as to refer to these sannyasis in his talks at 3a!ras later
in the year% /e sai!6 #he other !ay in 'ash(ir se8eral sannyasis sai! to (e6
O=e li8e alone in the sno% =e ne8er see anybo!y% @o one e8er co(es to 8isit
us%> , sai! to the(6 OAre you really alone6 or are you (erely physically separate!
fro( hu(anity5> OAh6 yes6> they replie!6 Oe are alone%> But they ere ith their
!"das an! 5panishads6 ith their eBperiences an! their gathere! knole!ge6
ith their (e!itations an! japams%
1
#hey ha! not renounce! the bur!en of their
con!itioning% #hat is not being alone% Putting on a saffron robe !oes not (ean
renouncing% &ou can ne8er renounce the orl!6 because the orl! is part of you%
&ou renounce a fe cos6 a house6 but to renounce your here!ity6 your tra!ition6
the bur!en of your con!ition6 that !e(an!s enor(ous enCuiry%$
3ost of 'rishna:i>s alks ere alone through the thick forests of pine an! fir
that surroun!e! Pahalga(% -n August 10 Finoba Bha8e an! his folloers ca(e
to see 'rishna(urti%
Finoba:i sai! this as the first ti(e he ha! seen 'rishna:i% #he ;an!hian
pilgri( aske!6 /o ol! are you5$
'rishna:i ansere!6 SiBty*four%$
So you are (y younger brother% , ha8e co(e to pay (y respects an! seek
your blessings% ?ao an! Achyut Patar!han6 1a!a 1har(a!hikari6 an! Fi(la
ha8e tol! (e about you se8eral ti(es% But , a( alays on the (o8e an! so are
you% So e ha8e ne8er (et%$
After the pleasantries ere o8er Finoba:i aske! 'rishna:i to speak to hi( of
his is!o(% 'rishna:i appeare! shy an! as silent% A recor! of the !iscussions
ere kept by @ir(ala 1eshpan!e6 ho as present !uring the (eetings an! ho
took !on notes as the con8ersation took place%
1
Finoba:i sai!6 /o !o e start5$
,t !epen!s on hat you are intereste!6$ ansere! 'rishna:i%
4ife6$ respon!e! Finoba:i%
A8eryone is intereste! in life% But !iscussion !epen!s on or!s6 an! or!s
are necessary6$ sai! Finoba%
@ot too (any or!s6 otherise !iscussion loses significance6$ ' replie!%
1iscussion i(plies%%%$
Before 'rishna:i coul! procee!6 Finoba:i sai!6 Sharing eBperiences%$
&es6 an! also to penetrate !eeply% ABperience is li(ite!H, !istrust basing
action on eBperience%$
,s that because eBperience con!itions (an5$ aske! Finoba:i%
&es6$ replie! '6 that is hy it is i(portant to ha8e a free (in!6 a (in! that
is not full of eBperience6 but free to see beyon! eBperience% -ne has to !ie to
eBperience e8ery !ay% -ne is alays translating eBperience in ter(s of the ol!%
As a /in!u , translate it in ter(s of Shi8a6 'rishnaHbut they are :ust or!s%$
#he !i8ision taking place as /in!u6 3usli(6 Christian has to be ipe! out6$
sai! 'rishna:i%
Finoba:i respon!e!6 &es%$
&ou say Oyes6> but it is a 8erbal state(ent% 1o you cease to be a /in!u5 ,n
science6 one !rops past eBperience6 to !isco8er a ne insight% 7ro( the 8ery
1
?epeate! soun! for(s or mantrams (eant to silence the (in!%
beginning one shoul! be taught to be free of con!itioningHas a /in!u6 3usli(6
Christian% @one of us let go% =e only preten! to !o so%
-ne has to cease to be /in!u or 3usli(G one has to be a hu(an being% But
that is 8ery !ifficult% #hinking about being free lea!s you nohere%
7irst6 one (ust be free% 7ree!o( first6 not through thinking about free!o(%$
Finoba:i aske! his co(ra!es to ask Cuestions6 but they ere hesitant%
Finoba:i sai! to 'rishna:i that (ost people !on>t ant to Cuestion6 but co(e for
darshan% #he !iscussion (o8e! aay fro( the serious6 an! Finoba:i aske!
'rishna:i6 /o (uch ti(e !o you spen! in ,n!ia5$
SiB (onths%$
1o you take eBercise5$
A little6 , alk%$
-ne of Finoba:i>s folloers aske!6 =hat is the (eaning of self*realiDation5$
=hat !oes it (ean to you5$ as the reply%
"nion ith Brah(anHith ;o!6$ sai! one of Finoba:i>s !isciples%
;o! is a phrase% #o realiDe ;o!6 you (ust ha8e a free (in!6 a goo! (in!
that !oes not follo anybo!y% A (in! that has no guru6 no syste(% #ry it%$
/o !oes one get such a (in!5$ ca(e the reply%
#here has to be self*knole!ge% @ot knole!ge of the At(an6 but ho one
thinks6 hy one thinksHho one acts% =hat is the Ooneself5> , a( not speaking
only of the conscious self6 but of the !eep le8els of the unconscious% =hat is
nee!e! is a re8olutionary (in!% &ou cannot ha8e that by sadhana% ,f you see
only through one in!o6 your 8ie is li(ite!%$
,s it not possible for philosophy to be taught5$ aske! one of Finoba:i>s
folloers%
#here is a right ay of thinking% 1oes it (atter ho listens5$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Perhaps he feels that you shoul! co(e out as a preacher6$ Finoba:i
inter8ene!%
3e6 SirQ , a( talkingHthat is (y life% 1o you ant (e to !o it
tra!itionally5$
Perhaps you are !oing in your ay hat he ants you to !o%$
Sir6 there is no (y ay6 your ay6 his ay% #here is only one ay%$
'rishna:i as unco(pro(ising%
, think in one ay6 you think in another% =e (islea! a hole generation%
-ne has to be free6 (an has to be free to speak of ;o!% #he Co((unists say
there is no ;o!6 you say ;o! is% &ou are both con!itione!% &ou are both saying
the sa(e thing% #hat is the cala(ity% #here is no your or (y ay of (e!itation%
#here is only (e!itation%$
=hen you speak this ay in the "%S%A%6 people (ust appreciate hat you
say6$ sai! Finoba:i%
,n the =est the elfare state looks after (ini(u( nee!s% People are turning
to belief6 to Christianity6 as people here turn to /in!uis(% =hat is the !ifference5
,n ,n!ia econo(ic refor( has beco(e all*i(portantHrefor( an! the elfare
state is the function of go8ern(ent% But a refor(er has nothing to !o ith
religion% A religion is connecte! ith refor( an! religion ith so(ething 8ery
!ifferent%
?eligion is the source of life6 not refor(% , a( not against refor(s% #hey are
necessary% But religion is !ifferent%
, kno so(e Co((unists in Aurope% #hey are 8ery intereste! in (e up to a
point% So also Catholics6 up to a pointHso are /in!us6 up to a point% #hat is hy
, a( an outsi!er6 hether , a( in Aurope6 "%S%A%6 or ,n!ia% 1o you ha8e anything
in this country eBcept politics5 =hy is there nothing !eeply creati8e5
=hy ha8e the (a:ority of thinkers in ,n!ia gi8en the(sel8es to refor(5
?efor( is a s(all thing% ,n the s(all6 the great can ne8er be inclu!e!% ,n the
great6 the s(all can be inclu!e!% =here8er , co(e to ,n!ia people ask (e hy ,
a( not concerne! ith po8erty6 corruption5 , ask6 hy !on>t e tackle these
proble(s fro( a !ifferent angle5 Surely it is the political approach that !istorts%
An! hy !o so*calle! spiritual (in!s concern the(sel8es ith refor(5
?efor( is not going to lea! to !eep re8olution%$
=hat !o you conclu!e fro( this5$ aske! Finoba:i%
@ot conclu!e6 but obser8e6$ ansere! 'rishna:i% #here is a !eep
contra!iction in the ,n!ian (in!% =e talk about i!eals an! !o the opposite% =e
are inhibite! fro( beco(ing so(ething because e feel e shoul! not be
a(bitious% So frustration lea!s to superficial refor(ation an! e pursue that ith
passion% , say6 act an! obser8e the result% But tra!ition an! the gurus say the
opposite% ,n this country one sees frustration6 contra!iction6 an! the sense of
being a 8ery ol! race% =e search for ;o!6 but e ha8e not li8e! life% #hat (ay be
the reason e turn to the superficial6 hich e call Orefor(%> $
Are you (ore appreciate! in Aurope5$
, abhor appreciation%$
1o they grasp your thought (ore5$
,t is the sa(e as in ,n!ia6$ replie! 'rishna:i% So(e (in!s are serious%
People take politics 8ery seriously in ,n!ia% Politics is (ost !estructi8e% =hen
people say they are orking for peace6 for refor(6 it is alays the O,> that is
i(portant% People ho touch politics cannot ha8e a fresh (in!% #he orl! nee!s
fresh (in!s6 clear (in!s6 not (in!s that are con!itione! by being /in!us or
3usli(s%
,f you are a /in!u6 you can>t lo8e% 4o8e reCuires free!o(% #he other !ay a
sannyasi ca(e to see (e% /e ha! been to A(arnath% /e spoke of the 8arious
sects of sadhus% , aske! hi(6 O=hat !o they !o5> /e sai!6 O@othingHbut they
kno Brah(an% #hey li8e alone% #hey (e!itate%> , sai!6 O=ith all their beliefs6
the loa! they carry6 they can ne8er be alone%>
But you ha8e to be alone to fin! the realHtotally alone% ,t is !ifficult in an
ol! country ith its stress on gurus6 tra!ition%$
'rishna:i pointe! to the people ho surroun!e! Finoba:i% Are all these your
folloers5 #oo ba!%$
, !on>t kno hy they are (y folloers6$ co((ente! Finoba:i%
,n ,n!ia there is a !esire for the authority of a guru% #hey feel that ith
gui!ance6 they ill not fail to fin! truth% #hey are not prepare! to (ake (istakes%
,t is all chil!ish6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
But chil!ren6 as they are6 to be as chil!ren beco(es the(6$ as Finoba:i>s
co((ent%
#hen let Finoba:i !eny the folloer6$ siftly ca(e the reply%
A8ery (an thinks his search is uniCue%$ Finoba as folloing his on
strea( of thinking%
#he search for ;o! isn>t linke! to success% ;o! (ay be a being ithout en!%
#he (in! abhors the sense of no en!ing6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
&ou (ean there is no ob:ect of search5 &ou cannot search to fin! ;o!5Q$
Finoba:i as arouse!%
&es6 otherise it oul! be a tri8ial ;o!% People go to A(arnath to fin! ;o!%
=hat !oes it (ean5 =e ha8e banishe! lo8e6 beautyG banishe! in!i8i!ual
thinking6 e8ery for( of intellectual6 e(otional curiosity an! replace! it ith
acceptance of authority6 syste(sG !enying the (in! the space to enCuire% =hat
ha8e e !one ith real creation5 =e say that to realiDe ;o! e (ust !on the
saffron robe6 !eny seB6 !eny the senses6 refrain fro( looking at the clou!s6 at
nature% =e say e (ust (e!itate% Such (e!itation is (es(eris(%$
=hat is the place of religion in the progress of a nation5$ aske! one of
Finoba:i>s folloers%
=hat is a nation5 =hat is society5Ha relationship social6 cultural5 ,f that
relationship changes6 society changes%$ 'rishna:i pause! for a hile6 then sai!6
#he !isco8ery of reality an! its relationship to our !aily life is religion% #here is
no one to!ay ho says6 O, a( not a /in!u6 not a 3usli(6 but a hu(an being6
concerne! ith the hole proble( of (an6 ith the ra8aging of the earth6 ith
the ato( bo(b6 ith brotherhoo!%> #hese are 8ery serious proble(s an! there are
not siB people ho are concerne! about the(%$
But , ha8e foun! that the ,n!ian (in! has been rea!y as ne8er before6 to
grasp ne i!eas6 to she! nationalis( an! co(e out of a narro life%$ Finoba:i
as on the !efensi8e%
, un!erstan!% But6 it reCuires (ore than that% #he (in! has beco(e so
(echanical% ,t nee!s an! seeks a goal in life% =e follo paths to a goal% =e
ne8er Cuestion% =e are too respectable% But one (ust ha8e a free (in!6 not a
(in! bur!ene! ith tra!ition6 ith the past% ABtre(e free!o( is nee!e!% But the
(o(ent you think you are free6 you are not free% -ne has to unearth oneself6
unra8el oneself6 !el8e into the corners of one>s (in!Hignite the (in!%$
'rishna:i as pushing further an! Finoba:i6 perhaps to counter the force of the
energy generate!6 broke into the tri8ial%
, a( tol! that you ha8e not gi8en public talks for one year6$ sai! Finoba:i%
&es6 , ha8e not gi8en public talks for one year% , ha8e kept Cuiet% But that is
not because , ha8e taken any 8os%$
, a( gla! , ha8e seen you to!ay% , ha8e been longing for this% 1o you kno
any ,n!ian language5$ #he !iscussion as beco(ing casual%
, trie! to learn /in!i% 3y nati8e tongue is #elugu6 but , left speaking it hen
, as a boy%$
&ou are not too ol! to learn an ,n!ian language6$ sai! Finoba:i%
, a( trying to learn SanskritHfor the fun of it6$ 'rishna:i respon!e!%
,f you speak Anglish6 fe people in ,n!ia ill un!erstan!6$ sai! Finoba:i%
, kno% But6 if you use tra!itional or!s6 they ha8e tra!itional connotations
an! you cannot procee!%$
Connotations are attache! e8en to Anglish or!s6$ Finoba:i sai!%
Break the(6$ ca(e the response%
, fin! that hen you translate Sanskrit or!s into Anglish6 you ha8e to really
un!erstan!% But if you translate Sanskrit into /in!i or 3arathi6 you can keep the
sa(e or! ithout un!erstan!ing its !epth%$
'rishna:i an! Finoba:i parte! ith s(iles an! pranams6 an! the neBt !ay
'rishna:i returne! Finoba:i>s call% Finoba:i spoke of his Bhoodan 4atra
pilgri(age%
1
/e sai!6 ;o!6 ho( , seek6 is e8eryhereH, a( not going to
A(arnath% People say , a( not !oing the right thing6 , shoul! go% Sa(i
Fi8ekanan! ent there%$ #he pre8ious !ay>s !iscussion ha! touche! so(e
instincti8e responses% /e sai!6 &ester!ay6 e ha! a 8ery goo! talk% ,t as so
illu(inating% #hese thoughts ha8e gui!e! (e for (any years% ,t as long before ,
ent to ;an!hi:i% , ent to see hi( hen , as tenty% , ent to see an! hear%
/e ne8er tol! (e or anybo!y to accept his thoughts%$
Euite6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
&ou also ha! an occasion to (eet hi(5$
#hriceHonce in 4on!on ith 1r% Besant%$
, get 8ery little ti(e to rea!% Still , rea!6$ sai! Finoba:i%
, har!ly rea!6 eBcept one or to casual books% &ou lea8e early in the
(orning5$ #he talk as again at the superficial le8el%
/alf past four% , alk ten (iles a !ay6$ sai! Finoba:i% &ou rite books5$ he
enCuire!%
&es6$ replie! 'rishna:i%
=ho publishes these books5$ aske! Finoba:i%
#he talks an! !iscussions are publishe! in ,n!ia%$
#here are (any people in the Bhoo!an (o8e(ent ho ha8e rea! your
books6$ sai! Finoba:i%
#hat is hat ?ao an! Achyut tell (e%$
Finoba:i pointe! to 3aha!e8i #ai% She !oesn>t kno Anglish%$
#oo ba!% , !on>t kno /in!iHso e can>t con8erse6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
But you are learning SanskritHfor the fun of it%$
,t is 8ery beautiful6 a (ar8elous language6$ as 'rishna:i>s response%
A8ery or! in Sanskrit is base! on so(e root or!% 4atin an! Sanskrit
belong to one fa(ily% &our or! Oignite> in Sanskrit is agni6 as fla(e% #he root
(eaning of both are the sa(e%$
#hey parte! in frien!ship%
4ater6 on the e8ening of August 1+6 Finoba:i spoke to cro!s that ha!
gathere! to hear hi( at Pahalga(% A !ifferent !irection as present in his talk6
an! he acknole!ge! that this as the influence of 'rishna:i>s (eetings ith
hi(% /e sai! that (en like 'rishna:i ere the sentinelsHtheir 8oices an!
state(ents ere arnings6 an! (ust be listene! to ith gra8ity% So(e (onths
later6 a frien! as to tell Finoba Bha8e that 'rishna:i ha! re(arke!6 Finoba
1
Bhoodan2 gift of the lan!$G 4atra2 pilgri(age%$
says he agrees ith (e6 but goes on !oing his ork as before% So his saying that
he agrees has no (eaning%$
Finoba respon!e!6 'rishna:i is right%$
3any years later @ir(ala 1eshpan!e tol! (e that Finoba:i ha! sai!6
'rishna(urti (ay !eny the role of the =orl! #eacher6 negate the church built
for hi(6 !eny his role as the supre(e guru6 !eny being the !i8ine 'rishnaG but
1r% Besant coul! not be !enie! her role as &asho!a6 the foster (other of 'rishna6
the !i8ine coher!%$
Part +
#he ?i8ers of ,nsight
196<*196.
CHAPTER 20
#hrough @egation
#here ,s Creation%$
By the (i!!le of August 'rishna:i began to feel unell% /is urinary tract as
infla(e!6 he ha! a high fe8er6 an! as eBtre(ely eak% As (e!ical facilities
ere ru!i(entary in Pahalga(6 3a!ha8achari brought hi( !on to @e 1elhi6
here he as eBa(ine! thoroughly by Shi8a ?ao>s !octors% #hey foun! a ki!ney
infection an! prescribe! antibiotics% 'rishna:i>s highly sensiti8e bo!y6 unuse! to
strong !rugs6 reacte! 8iolently% #hose ere anBious !ays% , as aay in the
"nite! States !uring his illness6 an! only hear! about it on (y return in the thir!
eek of Septe(ber% 'itty an! Shi8a ?ao nurse! hi( ith great !e8otion% After
so(e !ays6 he as better% /e returne! to Srinagar6 to a lo8ely cottage on 1al
4ake that belonge! to 1r% 'aran Singh Mho oul! ha8e been 3ahara:a of
'ash(ir if princely titles ha! not been abolishe!N%
By the (i!!le of Septe(ber the fe8er as back% #he !a(p cli(ate ha!
brought on an attack of rheu(atis(6 an! for ten !ays 'rishna:i as racke! by
:oint pain% 3a!ha8achari nurse! hi(6 assiste! by Para(esaran%
'rishna:i rote to 'itty Shi8a ?ao on Septe(ber .96 19)92
3y !ear 'itty:i6
, ha8e ne8er ritten to thank you an! Shi8a ?ao for the care an! trouble you took hile ,
as ill in 1elhi% ,t as not negligence but , ha8en>t been able to rite% &ou kno all that has
happene! so , on>t go into all that% ,t has been a !rea!ful ten !ays an! 3a(a:i has been 8ery
!isturbe! by it all% But e8erything is better% , can hol! a pen an! (o8e about% All this has
co(pletely eBhauste! one an! no6 one (ust step out of all this% Sorry to ha8e cause! you
concern an! bother% A8erything is un!er control an! so things ill be all right%
3a!ha8achari rote to (e ith a report on 'rishna:i>s health% /e sai!
'rishna:i ha! been so eak in Pahalga( that he ha! to be carrie! to the
bathroo(%
-n Septe(ber .9 , recei8e! a letter fro( 'rishna:i in hich he rote of the
pain he ha! suffere!% ,t ha! been agoniDing6 he sai!6 an! this as the first !ay he
coul! hol! a pen% /e ent on to ask @an!ini an! (e to co(e to Srinagar an! be
ith hi( in this Cuiet an! beautiful place% /e ent on to say6 #his has been a
great trial for 3a(a:i%$ 'rishna:i ha! been taking ho(eopathic (e!icines for his
trouble6 an! in his letter of -ctober + he aske! (e to consult 4% '% Jha6 ho ha!
been treating hi(% /e on!ere! hether he shoul! continue taking alfalfa tonic
an! beri beri 8ulgaris6 an! for ho long% #he ho(eopathic (e!icines see( to
ha8e suite! hi(%
, rote to 'rishna:i6 suggesting that he co(e !on to 1elhi an! fro( there
go to Bo(bay for a co(plete (e!ical checkup%
-n -ctober ) 'rishna:i rote that he as (uch better an! that he !i! not
think it oul! be necessary for hi( to go to Bo(bay for a thorough eBa(ination
by !octors there% /e also rote that he as suffering fro( rheu(atis(6 but felt
that it as !ue to the al(on! (ilk he ha! been !rinking% /e eBpecte! to be in
Srinagar till -ctober .1%
'rishna:i reco8ere!6 an! in early -ctober he e8en began hol!ing !iscussions
ith s(all groups of people ho gathere! to see hi(% A(ongst the( as a tall6
erect sannyasi !resse! in 'ash(iri robes% /e ha! a silent presence6 a !ignity an!
otherness that arose fro( !eep inar! enCuiry% /is na(e as 4aB(an Joo6 an!
he as the last of the great li8ing eBponents of 'ash(ir Sai8is(6 a school
intro!uce! by Abhina8 ;upta in 'ash(ir in the ele8enth century% 4aB(an Joo
tol! (e (any years later that he ha! gone to hear 'rishna:i in 'aran Singh>s
cottage6 an! his or!s ha! fille! hi( ith a 8ast ecstasy%
'rishna:i ca(e !on to 1elhi ith 3a!ha8achari in the thir! eek of
-ctober% /e often ent for alks on the central 8ista in @e 1elhi% -n one alk
he spoke to 3a!ha8achari an! (e of aareness as a state of being aake in the
presentG a state here seeing an! listening operate! fully an! intensely6 as in one
strea(% =here the (in! ha! no shape6 no contour of or! an! (eaningG no
li(its to contain hat as re8eale!% /e spoke of a (in! that as not concerne!
ith :u!ging6 hol!ing6 or lea8ing6 here there as seeing6 listeningG listening6
seeing%$ #here is6$ he sai!6 an eBplosi8e Cuality in listening%$ Speaking of the
act of seeing6 listening6 he sai! that it acti8ates the senses% Seeing ithout or!
creates energy% ,t is a state of un!erstan!ing of scientific spirit being religious
spirit% 4istening hich recei8es s(all an! great6 ugly an! beautiful% =hich !oes
not re!uce e8erything to na(e6 for( an! or!% Such a (in! is o8erfloing%$ /e
sai! that the night before he aoke fro( so(e great !epth6 ith the or! 4or!
of the =orl!$ resoun!ing in hi(% #here as tre(en!ous light6 stronger than the
sun%
Soon the fe8er recurre!6 but 'rishna:i as ell enough to tra8el ith (e by
air to Bo(bay on @o8e(ber +% #hough he ha! been ill an! as physically eak6
the siB (onths of relati8e solitu!e ha! recharge! the (in!% A 8ital strea( of
energy as floing through hi(6 the (in! as i!e aake% -n the plane he tol!
(e of his (eeting ith Finoba Bha8e an! hat they ha! !iscusse!% /e sai!6
=hat is necessary is to further the (in!6 an! the (in! cannot be furthere! if
there is an en! in 8ie%$
=hat rele8ance has that to action5$ , aske!%
'rishna:i respon!e!6 1on>t you think that in furthering the (in! you !o act6
but in a !ifferent ay altogether5 #o be a re8olutionary6 you ha8e to see further
than the i((e!iate% ,f you ant to further the (in! an! ha8e ob:ect in 8ie6 you
are li(iting the (in!% Finoba has !ran a circle roun! hi(self an! he re(ains at
the center of it%$
,n Bo(bay he as eBa(ine! by 1r% @athubhai Patel6 ho ha! treate! hi(
hen he as ill in 19))% 1r% Patel foun! that there ere still pus cells in the
urine6 an! the urinary tract as again infla(e!% /e as a little orrie! about
'rishna:i>s loss of eightHhe ha! lost tenty*fi8e poun!s since the beginning
of the year% /e ha! been on a 8ery strict !iet6 an! 1r% Patel aske! hi( to gi8e it
up an! start eating nourishing foo!Hcur!s6 butter6 cereals6 an! ripe bananas% #he
!octor felt that the rheu(atis( as probably !ue to so(e 8iral infection6 an!
prescribe! so(e pills an! in:ections% 'rishna:i like! the !octorG in a letter to 'itty
Shi8a ?ao he rote6 1r% Patel is 8ery goo!6 no fuss an! unnecessary re(arks%
/e says6 , (ust put on eight%$
7ro( Bo(bay 'rishna:i ent ith 3a!ha8achari to ?ishi Falley6 here he
reco8ere! rapi!ly% By @o8e(ber .. he rote fro( 3a!ras2
3y !ear 'itty:i6
#hank you 8ery (uch for your letter hich as aiting at Bo(bay% , hope you an! Shi8a
?ao are ell an! that the ne house is pleasant an! Cuiet%
3a(a an! , ha8e been talking about plansG the !octors see( to think that it oul! be iser
not to un!ertake big public talks% , think it is iser too6 so e can only ha8e s(all6 li(ite!
group !iscussions% 3a(a ill let you kno hen e are both co(ing @orth6 3a(a an! ,%
&ou kno these black shoes , sent fro( Anglan!6 so(e (onths ago6 are for Shi8a ?ao an!
they are not (eant to be kept in the safe% Pupul is bringing another pair6 bron6 for Shi8a ?ao%
She is co(ing back to 1elhi neBt eek , think%
Plenty of rains hereG it (ust be cool an! pleasant in 1elhi%
=ith (uch lo8e to you both%
'rishna
-8er the years Sunan!a ha! suffere! three (iscarriages% At ?ishi Falley6 she
!iscusse! once again her sorro at her incapacity to ha8e a chil!% 'rishna:i sai!6
3otherhoo! is a pri(or!ial (o8e(ent% ,t is not like the (o8e(ent of a(bition6
of beco(ing% 3otherhoo! is a natural instinct% A8erything bloo(s in a o(anH
her bo!y6 her e(otions% /as your bo!y accepte! the fact6 or your (in!5$ he
aske!% /as it left a (ark on the bo!y5 ,f the bo!y accepts it6 then there is no
conflict beteen bo!y an! (in!%$ #hey ha! talke! at so(e length% Sunan!a ha!
ept6 an! he ha! ipe! her tears%
/o ill you fin! out if any scar re(ains5 =hether there is a yearning still
lying !or(ant in consciousness5 &ou ha8e to bring it to the surface6 allo it to
speak to you6 to co((unicate its inti(ations%$
-n alks6 he oul! point to a baby6 or a o(an hea8y ith chil!6 an! say to
Sunan!a6 -bser8e the o(an an! the chil!% 1on>t feel asha(e! of the feelings
that arise% 1on>t be intellectual% 4isten to your responses% Be aake to e8ery
response% See it through co(pletely% 1o it no%$
She ha! listene!6 an! co((ente! that she ha! accepte! the fact of re(aining
chil!less% /e ha! refuse! to let her procee!% Acceptance6 a!:ust(ent6
rationaliDation are escapes% #hey ha8e no place% &ou are being self*!efensi8e%
4ook at the fact ithout e(otion or senti(entHotherise you close the !oor of
perception%$ After so(e ti(e6 he tol! her6 4isten to your loneliness6 frustrations6
co(parisons% ,f you so listen6 so(ething happens6 the ache of the !enial of
personal (otherhoo! !ies%$
-n @o8e(ber .. 'rishna:i ent to 3a!ras6 here he as to hol! se8en
!iscussions% Professors6 stu!ents6 an! professionals6 as ell as (e(bers of the
#heosophical Society6 atten!e! the !iscussions6 hich ere hel! un!er ancient
rain trees% #he scent of pine6 the thun!er of falling (ountain springs6 the
astonishing green of young pa!!y6 an! an ancient sense of pilgri(age per(eate!
his or!s% #hey ha! a translucence6 a luci!ity an! purityG insights sparkle!6 the
sensory perceptions ere ten!er ith creation%
=hat , oul! like to co((unicate to you is a total self*aban!on(ent on the
instant% 7or aban!on(ent you nee! passion% 1o not be afrai! of the or!% 7or6 in
seeing this6 e (ay sol8e the one central proble( Oof (e an! (y urges%> $
/e spoke of a tree ith its trunk6 its roots6 its branches6 its lea8es6 as a
totality6 an! aske!6 By so(e (iracle6 by so(e ay of looking at the clou!s6
so(e instant of clea8ing perception6 coul! one see5 Coul! the (in! be
eBtraor!inarily sensiti8e to e8ery (o8e(ent of thought an! feeling5
#he ti(eless is hispering aroun! e8ery corner6 it lies un!er e8ery leaf% ,t is
open not to the !ehy!rate! hu(an being ho has suppresse! hi(self an! no
longer has any passion% But to the (in!6 hich is in a state of (e!itation6
(o(ent to (o(ent%$
1
,n another !iscussion he sai!6 , think it oul! be (ar8elous if ithout or!s
one coul! con8ey hat one really feels about the proble( of eBistence% , on!er
hether it is not possible to go beyon! the frontiers hich the (in! has i(pose!6
beyon! the narro li(its of one>s heart an! to li8e thereG to act6 feel6 thinkG hile
carrying on one>s on acti8ities5$
=hen Cuestione! on the nee! for regular practice6 he sai!6 Practice for ten
thousan! years6 you ill still be ithin the fiel! of ti(e6 of knole!ge%
#he self6 the O(e> is restless% ?oaring !on like a ri8er6 li8ing6 (o8ing6
being% Self*knoing is eBtraor!inarily sift in its perceptions% Accu(ulation of
knole!ge gi8es birth to the O(e%> $
Euestione! on !eath6 he spoke of !eath an! life alking together%$ #he fear
of co(plete loneliness6 isolation6 of not being anything6 is the root of self*
contra!iction% Creation is in en!ing6 not in continuity%
,f there is a li8ing co(ing to an en! fro( (o(ent to (o(ent6 there is an
eBtraor!inary state of being nothing% -f co(ing to the abyss of an eternal
(o8e(ent an! !ropping o8er the e!ge6 hich is !eath% , ant to kno all about
!eath6 because !eath (ay be reality6 ;o!6 that eBtraor!inary so(ething that li8es
an! (o8es%$
,n 1ece(ber 19)9 'rishna:i ent to Bo(bay% By then he ha! co(pletely
reco8ere! an! it as !eci!e! that he gi8e eight talks% 4ike a fast*(o8ing current6
ne insights of the teaching ere floing through consciousness6 ashing aay
the i(purities6 the proble(s an! conflicts of e8ery!ay li8ing% 'rishna:i>s
language as ten!er6 8ast perceptions an! !epths ere e8i!ent% 4ike the aters
of the sno*fe! springs an! ri8ers of Achebal an! Pahalga(6 insights ere
generate! that ha! to tra8el far6 eBploring6 fin!ing ne channels6 generating life%
At the talks an! in the s(all !iscussions he as to speak of the urgency that
reste! behin! asking the right Cuestion% ,t as this6 he as to say6 that brings
about right perception% A percei8ing (in! is li8ing6 (o8ing6 full of energy%$
#here are no ansers to life>s Cuestions% #he state of (in! that Cuestions is
(ore i(portant than the Cuestion itself%$ Speaking of con!itioning an! free!o(
fro( bon!age6 he sai!6 ,f it is a right Cuestion6 it ill ha8e no anser6 because
the Cuestion itself ill open the !oor% But6 if it is a rong Cuestion6 you ill fin!
ays an! (eans to sol8e the proble( an! so re(ain in bon!age% 7or he ho asks
the Cuestion is hi(self the bon!age%$
/e spoke of efficiency6 essential in technologyG but in the ithin of (an6 in
the orl! of the psyche6 is tyranny%$ 7or hen (eans are use! for en!s6 (eans
strangle you%$
At another talk he spoke of an eBploration into the ithin% #o unco8er is to
!isco8er6 but to accu(ulate hat you !isco8er is to cease to !isco8er%$ /e as
speaking in the tree*fille! co(poun! of the J% J% School of Art% Cros neste! in
the trees on e8enings6 an! his or!s ere intersperse! ith their harsh cries%
/a8e you e8er listene! to the noise of a cro5 Actually6 listene! to it
ithout shutting it out as ugly% ,f you are capable of so listening6 there is no
!i8ision beteen the noise an! hat is being sai!% Attention i(plies a clarity of
altogetherness6 in hich there is no eBclusion%$ /e !elt on the altogetherness of
a (in!6 a (in! that ha! no past6 no futureG it as a feeling6 a fullness ith no
center%
, ha8e nothing to offer6$ he continue!% ,f you are listening6 you are alrea!y
in that state%$ @o guru is going to tell you that you are !oing ell% #hat you (ay
go to the neBt eBa(ination% &ou are listening to yourself an! that is an art%$
/e sa that any change ith (oti8e as a seeking of poer6 an! aske!6 Can
the (in!6 ithout (oti8e6 let go5 #hat is real renunciation% 'eep the (in! clean6
alert6 atchful6 obser8e e8ery thought6 see its significance ithout (oti8e6 urge6
or co(pulsion6 then there co(es an energy that is not your on6 hich !escen!s
upon you% #here is a li(itless being6 an! in that energy is reality%$
.
A sense of fluB per(eate! his or!s% /e eBplore! the nature of the 8erb as an
unbroken (o8e(ent6 a total state containing past6 future6 an! an acti8e present%
=e are not concerne! ith being6 but ith ha8ing been an! beco(ing% #here is
an acti8e present6 a state of being6 a li8ing6 acti8e state%$
/e spoke of listening as a state of co(prehension6 of being6 in hich all ti(e
as inclu!e!%
#hen he aske!6 =ith the un!erstan!ing of the 8erb6 let us eBa(ine the nature
of the self% #he self is (e%$
-n January 1< he spoke of sorro% #o en! it6 sorro has to be e(brace!6
li8e! ith6 un!erstoo!G one has to beco(e inti(ate ith sorro% ?unning aay
fro( sorro is hat one knosG it is an escape fro( it% "n!erstan!ing of sorro
is an eBplosion6 a re8olt6 a tre(en!ous !iscontent in e8erything% #o un!erstan!
!eath an! sorro one (ust ha8e a burning urge6 an intensity6 an! face the fact%
1eath is unknon6 as sorro isG but to kno the nature6 the !epth6 the beauty6
an! loneliness of sorro6 is its en!ing% Bene!iction co(es hen there is a state
of nonreaction% ,t is a bene!iction to kno !eath because !eath is the unknon%$
0
Seeing the intense6 sorro*la!en6 tor(ente! faces in his au!ience6 he spoke
on January 19 of learning to play ith a proble(% "nless you can play6 you ill
ne8er fin! out% ,f you !on>t kno ho to s(ile6 not only ith your lips but ith
your hole being6 ith your eyes6 your (in!6 an! heart6 then you !on>t kno
hat it is to be si(ple an! take !elight in the co((on things of life%$ An! later6
he laughe! ith :oy an! sai!6 "nless you are capable of laughter6 real laughter6
you !on>t kno hat sorro is% &ou !on>t kno hat it is to be serious%$
+
Speaking of (e!itation6 he sai!6 7or (ost of us6 hat is eBplore! is not
i(portantG therefore6 it !oes not open up the capacity to enter into Ohat is%> 4ife
is an eBtraor!inary thingHe call the past the ti(e before6 an! the future as the
ti(e afterG can one go into it through the present5 #ruth has no future6 no past6 no
continuity% 3e!itation is the state of li8ing in hich the frontiers of the (in!
break !on% #here is no self6 no center6 an!6 therefore6 no circu(ference%$
/e eBplore! the nature of negati8e thinking% Positi8e thinking6 as an assertion6
is !estructi8e to enCuiry% #hrough negation there is creation6$ he sai!%
=hate8er is born of a (in!6 that is co(pletely e(pty6 is creation% -ut of that
arises negati8e thinking% Such an approach6 base! as it is on attention6 can ha8e
no (easure% #he (in! that goes into itself !eeply enters on a pilgri(age of
enCuiry fro( hich there is no return%$ 7or this one nee!s to be co(pletely alone
Hno co(panionship6 no !epen!ence6 no attach(ent6 thought6 or (e(oriesG a
total !enial of e8erything% #o open the !oor to the eternal6 the :ourney into the
self is the only ay%$
'rishna:i returne! to Aurope in 3arch 196<% -n reaching ?o(e6 he felt 8ery
unell an! entere! the Bercher Brenner Clinic in Surich% #here6 after a !etaile!
(e!ical eBa(ination6 they put hi( on a special !iet%
4ater6 he ent to -:ai6 here he as sche!ule! to gi8e eight talks% Su!!enly6
after the thir! talk6 he announce! that he oul! gi8e only fourH(uch to the
chagrin of ?a:agopal%
CHAPTER 21
#he 3in! #hat ;oes into
,tself 1eeply Anters on a
Pilgri(age fro( =hich
#here ,s @o ?eturn%$
'rishna:i returne! fro( the =est in the autu(n of 196<6 ha8ing sense! the
8olcanic energies being release! in the ne scientific an! technological (in!%
=ith the eye of prophesy6 'rishna:i looke! into the years that lay ahea!% /e
percei8e! the accelerate! pace of change that as to co(e about ith the
unlocking of the (ysteries of nature6 an! the in8ention of tools an! syste(s that
oul! transfor( society an! en8iron(ent an! generate enor(ous pressures on
hu(ankin!% /e also appeare! aare of a rapi! tren! toar! chaos an! 8iolence%
3a!ha8achari ha! co(e to (eet hi( in @e 1elhi an! as staying ith (e%
,n the e8enings e took 'rishna:i to the Bu!!ha Jayanti Park6 hich he lo8e!6
an! e alke! a(ongst the rocks6 trees6 an! bushes% -ne e8ening he began to
speak of the nature of creation6 of negation being the source of creation%
Creation can only be hen the (in! is co(pletely e(ptyG hate8er is born
of that e(ptiness is negati8e thinking% ,t has no root6 no source%$ /e as to
enCuire into a state in hich the frontiers of the (in! broke !on% So that in such
a state there as no self6 no center6 an! no circu(ference% 3ost of us ha8e ne8er
an!ere! into oursel8es%$ /e sai!6 @e8er look ithout calculations6$ an! spoke
of intelligence as the tool of enCuiry2 #he probing is ith nothing into en!less
being%$
,n January 1961 'rishna:i as in Bo(bay6 here he ga8e ten talks an! hel!
s(all group !ialogues% 4ike the churning of the oceans of (in! in the archaic
(yth of creation6 :eels of insight ere arising% =ith i((ense passion6
'rishna:i sai!6 #he orl! is beco(ing so(ething totally ne% Space is being
conCuere!6 (achines are taking o8er6 tyranny is sprea!ing%$ Sensing the
li(itations of the (in!s that listene! to his or!s6 an! their incapacity to
co(prehen! the enor(ity of the in!s of change6 the groing inhu(anity an!
callousness6 'rishna:i sought to con8ey the urgency he felt%
So(ething ne is going on of hich e are not aare%%% &ou are not aare
of the (o8e(ent6 the significance6 the flo6 the !yna(ic Cuality of this change%
=e think e ha8e ti(e%%% #here is no ti(e6%%% the house is burning%$
1
=an!ering about the lan! Kin ,n!iaL6$ he obser8e! an appalling !earth of
hu(an integrity% /e spoke ith passion of the !e(an! for a ne (in!6 a goo!
(in! hich hel! pity6 affection6 co(passion% #he ol! (in! coul! no longer !eal
ith the challenges that ere so intricate6 so subtle6 so !iffuse!%$ A ne enCuiry
as nee!e!% Can one ipe out e8erything5 An! start ane5$
/o !o you enCuire5$ aske! 'rishna:i% 7or hi(6 there ere three aysG ,t
is possible6 it is not possible6 it (ay be possible%$ #he first to responses ere an
en!ing of enCuiry6 for they ere li(ite! by their certainties an! so ere hel! in
ti(e% ,t as only in a tentati8e !el8ing into the (ay be possible$ that true
enCuiry as re8eale!% At his talks6 in !iscussions6 at the breakfast an! lunch
table6 he spoke again an! again of the nee! for a ne (in!G a (in! that coul!
only arise out of the 8oi!6 out of co(plete negation6 in a state of re8olution6
hen the (in! is co(pletely alone%$
/e spoke of eBploration as a negati8e aareness in hich there as
perception ithout recor!ingG a state of pure seeing ithout opinion6 :u!g(ent6
or conclusion% 3o8ing aay fro( the step*by*step obser8ation an! enCuiry of
the 19)<s6 he eBplore! the ne (in! ith its capacity to co(prehen! the holeG
this as only possible hen the (in! is not concerne! ith the particularG then
co(prehen!ing the hole6 it can play ith the particular%
-ne has to see inar!ly an! outar!ly% #hat seeing brings an eBtraor!inary
energy% ,n that seeing6 there is an aareness that there is no outer an! inner6 they
are really one continuous (o8e(ent% ,t is the ti!e going out an! the ti!e co(ing
in%$ Seeing that his listeners ere perpleBe!6 he sai!6 #i(e pre8ents perception%
A (in! that thinks of !istance as space fro( here to there6 as beco(ing6 as
achie8e(ent6 such a (in! cannot see a thing totally%$
/e as probing into (in!6$ !isco8ering insights of the ne$ as he
obser8e!% #he Cuality of going beyon! itself belongs to the ne (in!6 hich is
free of ti(eG ti(e as an inner psychological process% #he ti(e of the psyche
brings about fear an! so li(its the flo% #o un!erstan! the enor(ous per8asi8e
nature of fear6 to see the co(pleBities in hich (in! is entangle!6 you (ust
un!erstan! ti(e% 7ear an! ti(e go together%$ Percei8ing the sha!os on the faces
of his listeners6 'rishna:i sai!6 7ear is the !estructi8e energy in (an6 it ithers
the (in!%$
Speaking to s(all groups6 he ha! gone !eep into the nature of the challenges
facing hu(ankin!% /e sai! that the crisis as of a !ifferent !i(ension to that
face! earlier% ,n these talks in Bo(bay6 'rishna:i as penetrating !eeply into the
nature of the scientific (in! an! the religious (in!G the only to (in!s that
coul! sur8i8e in the future% /e aske! hi(self6 Can the scientific (in! ith its
logic6 its in8estigation into (atter6 energy6 enter into the religious (in!5$ an!
ansere!6 =hen the scientific (in! breaks through the li(itations of the knon
Hthen perhaps it approaches the religious (in!%$
/e probe! further% #he scientific (in! ith its logic6 its precision6 its
enCuiry6 in8estigates the outer orl! of nature6 but this !oes not lea! to an
inar! co(prehension of thingsG but an inar! co(prehension brings about an
un!erstan!ing of the outer% =e are the result of the influences of the outer% #he
scientific (in! is precise an! clear in its in8estigation% ,t is not a co(passionate
(in!6 for it has not un!erstoo! itself%
=hat is the true religious spirit5$ he aske!% -b8iously6 not the (an ho
belie8esHho goes to te(ples an! churches% @or is the reaction to that the
religious spirit% ,t is only hen one !enies all belief or nonbelief6 hen there is a
seeing of the fact an! the falseness of belonging an! reaction6 that the (in! is in
a state of negation6 hich (eans the (in! is alone6 it has no authority6 no goalG
therefore6 it is not in a state of fear6 hich is reaction%
#he religious (in! is not ritualistic% ,t is capable of thinking precisely6 not in
ter(s of the negati8e an! positi8eG therefore6 that (in! has ithin it the scientific
(in!% But the scientific (in! !oes not contain the religious (in!6 because it is
base! on ti(e6 knole!geG it is roote! in success an! achie8e(ent%
/o !oes the religious (in! enter the unknon5$ /e as Cuestioning
hi(self alou!% ,t cannot co(e to the unknon eBcept by O:u(ping%> ,t cannot
calculate an! enter the unknon%
#he religious (in! is the real re8olutionary (in!% ,t is not a reaction to hat
has been% #he religious (in! is eBplosi8eHcreati8e%%% ,t is in a state of creation%
.
#he religious (in! is the only (in! that can respon! totally to the present
challenge an! to all challenges6 at all ti(es%$ /e pause! for a long ti(e to per(it
the or!s to sink !eep% Can this (in! be so solitary6 soli! in its aloneness6 like
fire5$
Again he Cuestione! hi(self% /o can ra!ical transfor(ation fro( the roots
of one>s being co(e about5 /o can one recogniDe a religious (in!5 /o !oes
one recogniDe a saint5 =hat !oes the or! OrecogniDe> (ean5 #o see again5 Can
one eBplo!e the pattern e ha8e of a saint5 &ou (ust eBplo!e the pattern to fin!
the religious (in!% #hen there is no saint% /e (ay be aroun! the corner6
unrecogniDe!%$
/is Cuestioning continue!% Can one obser8e ithout reaction5 #o obser8e
ithout the center is the negati8e process% #he (in! is a sla8e to or!s% Can it be
free of the(5$ Seeing the straine! look on the faces of listeners6 stri8ing to reach
the essence of his Cuestions6 he s(ile!6 !raing the au!ience close to hi(% Can
you play ith this a little5$
#o fin! out hether there is ;o! or no ;o!6 or if there is so(ething (ore
than thought6 you (ust shatter the hole backgroun!6 (ust you not5 Seeing the
truth that any con!itioning is !estructi8e to perception6 can the (in! break
through ithout reaction5 #hat breaking through opens the hole fiel! of self*
knoing%$
,n a public (eeting he as aske!6 /o !i! the first (in! co(e about5$ /is
anser !enie! all theoretical speculation% #he fact is e are here% #o in8estigate
origins6 you ha8e to in8estigate hat you are no% ,s there a beginning an! an
en!ing5 1o not ask hat is the beginning% =e starte! the !iscussion ith ti(e
an! the ti(eless6 that brings us to eBistence6 to li8ing6 to hat e are% Can e be
ruthless in our in8estigation of hat e are5 Can e un!erstan! hat is the
present5 #hen e ill touch the beginning an! en!ing of all things% #o Cuestion
rightly is to see that there is no beginning6 no en!ing% #o un!erstan! this
eBtraor!inary sense of ti(elessness6 you ha8e to un!erstan! the (in! in the
present% #he hu(an (in!6 as it is no6 is the result of en8iron(ent% #he (in! has
to eBtricate itself fro( all influences to fin! the Oti(eless%>
#o un!erstan! ti(e6 not put it asi!e6 not create a theory about it6 you ha8e to
in8estigate your on (in!6 gro aare of the eBtraor!inary i(pact of influence%
#i(e is the influence of a thousan! yester!ays% #here is not only chronological
ti(e6 ti(e by the atch6 but there is ti(e as (e(ory6 stretching backar!s an!
forar!s% #his (e(ory is unconscious6 burie!6 hi!!en !eep in the 8ast recesses
of one>s (in!% #here is ti(e6 fro( place to place6 fro( here to there6 an! there is
ti(e as beco(ing% , a( this an! , shall be that% #his reaching into the future to
beco(e intro!uces the per(anent an! the transient%
#here is ti(e hen you soHti(e hen you reap%$ /e probe! into inar!
ti(e as (e(ory6 ith its eBtraor!inary co(pleBity an! subtlety% Can e
in8estigate into the self like the scientist5$ he aske!%
-n another e8ening he eBplore! the nature of the obser8er an! the obser8e!%
#he !istance beteen the obser8er an! the obser8e! creates !uality% ,t is only
hen the (in! obser8es itself as being con!itione! that there is no obser8er% Can
the (in! obser8e itself as the obser8er5 ,t is not a rare thing% =hen you are
angry6 passionateHin that state there is no obser8er6 nor the obser8e! as
thought%$
Speaking of the unknon6 the 8oi!6 fro( hich alone the ne (in! coul!
e(erge6 he sai!6 #he (in! cannot co(e to itG the (in! that (easures itself in
ti(e (ust ipe itself aay an! enter into that6 ithout knoing that% &ou cannot
kno it% ,t has no color6 no space6 no shape% &ou cannot (ake a state(ent about
it% All you can !o is to :u(p out of the ol!6 then you on>t e8en kno6 for you
are part of that eBtraor!inary state%$
/e as hol!ing the proble( of the scientific (in! an! the religious (in! in
consciousness6 his (in! aake6 listening to the inti(ations of the ne (in!%$
/e as to !iscuss the Cuestion again an! again% =hat is nee!e! is a ne
(in! that functions holly% #he scientific (in! is !irecti8eG the religious (in!
eBplo!es ithout !irection% Self*knoing is essentialG because it is only a (in! in
self*knoing6 because it is un!erstan!ing itself6 that it ithers aay6 for the ne
(in! to be%
=hat is !e(an!e! is a fertile (in!% 7ertile in the sense of rich6 in hich a
see! can gro6 be nurture!6 carefully atche! o8er6 a (in! that is !eeply
enCuiring6 searching6 looking6 atching% -nly that (in!6 eBCuisitely pliant6 not
tethere! to anything6 is sensiti8e% #he fertile (in! is e(pty6 like the o(b before
it concei8es% Can you take one thing5 #ake en8yHun!erstan! it an! go through it
ruthlessly% Put your teeth into it an! strip the (in! of en8y% #ake stock of
yourself6 !ay after !ay6 (inute after (inute6 to ruthlessly penetrate this appalling
thingHen8y%$
4ike a shaft of fire6 penetrating6 his or!s !ispelle! sha!os in the ithin%
#he (in! is a 8ast thing% ,t is not a spot in the uni8erse% ,t is the uni8erse% #o
in8estigate the uni8erse !e(an!s an astonishing energy% ,t is energy greater than
all rockets6 because it is self*perpetuating6 because it has no center% #his is only
possible hen there is an enCuiry into the inner an! outer (o8e(ent of the (in!%
#he inner6 the racial unconscious6 in hich are the urges6 co(pulsions6 the
hi!!en !ark fears6 is the story of (an% /o !o you obser8e5 /o !o you listen5
,f the obser8ation6 the listening6 is !irect6 then you are obser8ing negati8ely%
#hen the (in! has no conclusions6 no opposites6 no !irecti8es% ,n that looking it
can see hat is near an! hat is far aay% ,n that there is an en!ing% Such a (in!
is the ne (in!% ,t has eBplo!e! ithout !irection% Such a (in! is the religious
(in!%$
#hen he opene! up the nature of such a (in!6 a (in! for hich there has to
be har!6 ar!uous ork% But6$ he sai!6 you cannot atch fro( (orning till
night% &ou cannot be 8igilant6 ne8er blinking for the hole !ay% So play ith it%
Play ith it lightly% #o Cuestion Oho a( , to be aare> is to create conflict% But
as you are playing6 you learn%
#he (in! that eBplo!es ithout !irection is co(passionate6 an! hat the
orl! nee!s is co(passion6 not sche(es%
#he ne (in! is not ithin the fiel! of knole!ge% ,t is that state of creation
hich is eBplo!ing% 7or that6 all knole!ge has to co(e to an en!%
#he ne (in! cannot co(e into being ith authority6 ith (asters6 ith
gurus% =ith a burnt*out (in!6 you cannot co(e to the ne (in!% &ou nee! a
fresh6 eager6 li8e (in!%$ /e then hel! out the key% =hat releases energy is !irect
perception% #he greater part of the brain is the resi!uary ani(al an! the
re(aining part un!efine!% =e li8e our life in the 8ery s(all part% =e ne8er
in8estigate% Sensiti8ity arises hen you atch a tree6 bir!6 ani(al6 ant% =atch
ho you alk6 bathe6 !ressG atch yourself being i(portant% ,f you so atch6 if
you so obser8e thought an! e8ery e(otion6 floering6 then the brain is 8ery
sensiti8eG out of that6 the floering of the (in! begins% #hat is (utation%
#o atch6 to obser8e e8erything6 is to be aare of totality6 ne8er to li(it any
thought6 to let e8erything floer% A (in! that is co(pletely Cuiet6 ithout any
reaction6 is only an instru(ent of obser8ation% ,t is ali8e6 sensiti8e%
3utation is only possible hen you ha8e brought this about through
aareness6 ithout effort% #he challenge of the present ti(e an! of e8ery instant6
if you are aake6 is to respon! totally to so(ething that is ne%
Creation is not in8ention% #he uni8erse is not (a!e of in8ention%$
CHAPTER 22
Be Aake%$
'rishna:i left ,n!ia for ?o(e in the (i!!le of 3arch 1961% A fe !ays before his
!eparture @an!ini ha! been talking to hi( in his roo( at /i((at @i8as in
Bo(bay% 'rishna:i as sitting cross*legge! on his be!6 @an!ini on the (at*
co8ere! floor close by% Su!!enly6 in the (i!!le of the con8ersation6 he stoppe!
speakingG his straight back beca(e still6 his eyes close!6 an! like a sift (o8ing
ti!e6 she felt it6 pouring in through the !oors an! in!osHri8ers of silence that
bathe! her bo!y6 entering the pores of her skin6 saturating her% She too beca(e
totally still an! !ie! to the orl!% She !oes not kno ho long it laste!%
Su!!enly6 she hear! the 8oice of 'rishna:i an! gre aare of her surroun!ings%
She ha! felt the strength nee!e! to hol! this silent roaring in!6 an! co((ente!
on it%
7or so(e ti(e after that 'rishna:i as far aay% 'rishna:i>s long perio!s of
rest an! the silences of ?anikhet an! 'ash(ir ha! triggere! the aakening of
these i((ense ri8ers of energy% ,nsights aakene! an! con8erge! that ere to
floer in the notebooks$ 'rishna:i as to start riting in the spring of 1961%
7ro( the plane on his ay to ?o(e on 3arch .)6 'rishna:i rote to @an!ini2
/alf an hour out of Bo(bay6 at 0)6<<< ft%6 the sky as blue6 so blue6 so intense6 so pale6 so
soft that it brought tears to one>s eyes6 at one ti(e the blue as al(ost blackG e ere so high6
the plane so stea!y an! the sea so far belo6 there as a strange sense of peace an!
inco(prehensible 8astness fro( horiDon to horiDon6 there as this clou!less !o(e of intense
blueG at the horiDon6 the blue as al(ost ten!er green% ,t as a (ar8elous sight6 so(ething
incre!ibly beautiful% ,n the cabin it as freshly cool6 al(ost col!6 hich re8i8e! one after the
heat% ,t took so(e ti(e to co(e back to oneself an! , a( sorry if , (a!e a nuisance of (yself
before lea8ing% ,t as bright an! ar( hen e arri8e! but it has beco(e col! an! rainy%
=riting to @an!ini fro( ?o(e6 he sai!2
?esting an! !oing nothing (ust ha8e pushe! the bo!y to the li(it an! no it is flat% /ope
you are ell% 1on>t please !o these eBercises ith any strainG if there>s a strain6 the eBercises are
not being !one properly% ;i8e co(plete attention an! things ill co(e right% 1on>t settle !onG
keep the fla(e ali8e% ,t has been altogether strange an! !on>t get lost in tri8ialitiesG !on>t let
yourself be !rone!G keep aakeG be in a state of co(plete attention%
Signora Fan!a Scara8elli6 an ol! frien! of 'rishna:i>s6 as a re(arkable
o(an6 ith the fire6 eccentricity6 Cuickness of (in! an! bo!y of the fine*bre!
,talian% She (et 'rishna:i in ?o(e6 an! after a fe !ays as to tra8el ith hi( to
,l 4eccio6 near 7lorence% 4ater6 in Surich6 he un!erent a co(plete (e!ical
checkup at the Bercher Brenner Clinic%
,n 3ay6 'rishna:i as in 4on!on% 3iss 1oris Pratt6 the representati8e of '%
=% ,% in Anglan! ha! arrange! for his stay in a house near =i(ble!on Co((on%
She as there to look after hi(% /e hel! (eetings ith an! ga8e talks to a s(all
group of specially in8ite! people% ,n the e8enings he ent for long alks alone
on =i(ble!on Co((on% -n 3ay 1. he rote to @an!ini2
#he heels
1
of -oty are orking6 unknon to any6 an! other things are taking place% ,t is so
eBtraor!inary6 an! or!s see( so futile% 1ays are too short an! one li8es in a !ay6 a thousan!
years% 'eep ali8e6 aare an! !on>t let anything hatsoe8er s(other the fla(e% 1on>t let a single
thought escape ithout obser8ing fro( here it ca(e6 its (oti8es6 an! significance% 'eep
aake%
Another letter arri8e! fro( =i(ble!on on 3ay 182
As one gros ol!er6 as the (in! gets (ore set an! (ore (echanical6 it is 8ery i(portant to
break !on e8ery pattern of thought an! feelingHto be aare of e8ery (o8e(ent of thought6 to
atch ceaselessly6 ne8er to allo (oo!s to gather strength or allo the physical to clou! the
clarity of the (in!% 1on>t let the fla(e !ie !on or let the s(oke of e8ery!ay e8ents s(other it%
Strangely the things that happene! at -oty are taking place6 though no one knos about itHit is
8ery strong% #he heels of -oty are orking poerfully% , a( surprise!%
#hese references to -oty ere to occur again on June 16 hen he rote fro(
4on!on2
1on>t be s(othere! by (e!iocrity an! by e8ery!ay e8ents of nothing% Be intense an! !on>t
let the fla(e !ie% A8erything is ell here% #he heels of -oty are orking furiously an!
painfully%
3iss Pratt ha! notice! that 'rishna:i as un!ergoing so(e (ysterious
eBperiences% ,n a letter to ?a:agopal she !escribe! hat as happening% She
Cuestione! 'rishna:i6 an! he tol! her that there as nothing anyone coul! !o
eBcept keep Cuiet6 relaBe!6 an! not orryG but he sai! not to let anyone touch
hi(% She ent on to say that she felt she as an onlooker at a (ost profoun! an!
tre(en!ous (ystery%
1
'rishna:i fle to -:ai 8ia @e &ork on June 1+% 3y !aughter ?a!hika6 ho
as orking for her Ph% 1% at Bryn 3ar6 ca(e to see hi( on June 16% ,n a letter
to @an!ini6 'rishna:i sai!2
Sa ?a!hikaHlooks ell an! e ha! a long talk% 4ife is short an! there is so (uch to
!isco8er not outar!ly but ithin% #here are 8ast uneBplore! regions ithin an! !on>t let a !ay
go by ithout !isco8ering so(ething% Be eBplosi8e inar!ly an! then the outer things ill take
care of the(sel8es%
-n June 196 the !ay before he left for -:ai6 he began to rite a recor! of his
pilgri(age into the 8ast oceans of otherness%$ #he i((ense insights an! the
perceptions ithout horiDons that he as to rite about in the 3ot"%ook ere
unfol!ing%
#he letters to @an!ini starte! again in July fro( -:ai% -n July +6 he rote to
her2
1
/is use of the or! heels$ refers to the &hakras%
&ou (ay re(e(ber that to !ays before , left6 you ere aare of that strange energy in the
roo(% #o stan! it one has to be tre(en!ously strong%$ &ou use! that or!% Be of it% 7or that>s
here no an! the heels of -oty are orking% 1on>t get entangle!6 be aare of !eep thoughts
an! feelings% Be !irect si(ple an! clear%
#he letters continue!% -n July 19 he rote fro( ;staa!2
7ear really !estroys an! per8erts all seeing% ,t bree!s illusionG it !ulls the (in!6 it !estroys
!ignity% Search it outHbe open to it% 1on>t fin! eBcuses for it% ;o into it ruthlessly% Be aare of
e8ery for( of fear an! ash it aay% 1on>t let it re(ain ith you for a single (inute% #here is
no innocency KsicL here there is fear6 :ealousy6 attach(ent% Be burningly aare of it% #he
heels of -oty ha8e been orking%
Signora Scara8elli6 his hostess in ;staa!6 has !escribe! 'rishna:i>s states of
consciousness hile he as at Chalet #annegg%
1
#hey ere si(ilar to an! yet
!ifferent fro( hat took place at -otaca(un!% #he intense pain as absent% #he
states of otherness an! bene!iction arose in his alks6 in the house6 hile he as
aake6 or as he aoke fro( sleep% Fan!a Scara8elli sense! the sacre! presence
that as aroun! an! ithin hi(% She spoke of the face*changing an! of an
aareness6 a si(ultaneous feeling of e(ptiness an! fullness% All the ti(e he as
gi8ing talks in Saanen% #hey ere not in!epen!ent of his states% All separation
beteen these (ystic happenings an! his !aily life appears to ha8e en!e!%
-n July 186 hile in ;staa!6 he rote in the 3ot"%ook2 -ur eyes an! brain
register the outar! things6 trees6 (ountains6 sift running strea(sG accu(ulate
knole!ge6 techniCue an! so on% =ith that sa(e eyes an! brain6 traine! to
obser8e6 to choose6 to con!e(n an! :ustify6 e turn inar!6 look inar!6
recogniDe ob:ects6 buil! up i!eas6 hich are organiDe! into reason% #his inar!
look !oes not go 8ery far6 for it>s still ithin the li(itation of its on obser8ation
an! reason% #his inar! gaDe is still the outar! look an! so there>s not (uch
!ifference beteen the to% =hat (ay appear to be !ifferent (ay be si(ilar%
But there>s an inar! obser8ation hich is not the outar! obser8ation
turne! inar!% #he brain an! the eye hich obser8e only partially !o not
co(prehen! the total seeing% #hey (ust be ali8e co(pletely but stillG they (ust
cease to choose an! :u!ge but be passi8ely aare% #hen the inar! seeing is
ithout the bor!er of ti(e*space% ,n this flash a ne perception is born%$
.
As far as e kno6 this as the last occasion hen he as to eBperience such
e8ents% ,n later years other states of 8astness an! e(ptiness ere to arise6 he as
to faint an! be out of his bo!yG but these processes appear to be of another nature%
' ca(e back to ?ishi Falley in the late autu(n of 1961% 1r% Balasun!ara(
as principal% #he relationship beteen the stu!ents6 the teachers6 an! the
principal as ar( an! frien!lyG there as a li8ing Cuality in the at(osphere% '
sense! this an! respon!e! ith passion an! abun!ance% /e ha! an i((ense
e(pathy ith the lan! an! the surroun!ing hills% /e coul! see ?ishi 'on!a fro(
his in!o6 an! the !ialogue ith the sculpture!$ hill ha! co((ence!% #o '
1
Chalet #annegg is in ;staa!6 SitDerlan!% 'rishna:i li8e! there e8ery year in the (onths of July an! part
of August till 1980 as a guest of Signora Fan!a Scara8elli% 1uring this perio! he hel! talks an!
!iscussions in Saanen%
the state of ell*being of the 8alley an! its inhabitants as co((unicate! in the
intensity of the bene!iction that floe! fro( the hill% 4ocal legen!s spoke of
seers an! sages ho li8e! on ?ishi 'on!a% At night ineBplicable lights appeare!
an! tra8ele! across the slopes%
' continue! to rite his 3ot"%ook% A great bene!iction co(es through his
or!s% =hate8er as in hi( an! aroun! hi( penetrate! the soil of the 8alley an!
is still felt by (any sensiti8e 8isitors% 7or the otherness as there6 an! co(ing
up the 8alleyG it as like a curtain of rain but only there as no rainG it as
co(ing as a breeDe co(es6 softly an! gently an! it as there outsi!e an! insi!e%$
0
?a!hika an! , ere ith 'rishna:i in ?ishi Falley for the perio! he as there%
' ent for long alks alone or ith 1r% Balasun!ara( an! ?a!hika% #he trees
that ha! been plante! in the late 19+<s ere no full gronG the ells ha! (a!e
possible the planting of pa!!yG the 8alley as ali8e ith green6 sap*fille! shrubsG
the paths ere fragrant ith hite floers she! by a8enues of cork trees%
#he chil!ren ho ha! gathere! on the hilltop at Astachal to itness the sun
sink belo the horiDon felt the colors eBplo!e ithin the(% #hey ere silently
aare of the stranger in their (i!st an! the skies that ere ablaDe to elco(e
hi(% ' later rote in the 3ot"%ook2
#he earth as the colour of the skyG the hills6 the green6 ripening rice fiel!s6 the trees an! the
!ry6 san!y ri8er*be! ere the colour of the skyG e8ery rock on the hills6 the big boul!ers6 ere
the clou!s an! they ere the rocks% /ea8en as the earth an! the earth hea8enG the setting sun
ha! transfor(e! e8erything% #he sky as blaDing fire6 bursting in e8ery streak of clou!6 in e8ery
stone6 in e8ery bla!e of grass6 in e8ery grain of san!% #he sky as ablaDe ith green6 purple6
8iolet6 in!igo6 ith the fury of fla(e% -8er that hill it as a 8ast seep of purple an! gol!G o8er
the southern hills a burning !elicate green an! fa!ing bluesG to the east there as a counter
sunset as splen!i! in car!inal re! an! burnt ochre6 (agenta an! fa!ing 8iolet% #he counter
sunset as eBplo!ing in splen!our as in the estG a fe clou!s ha! gathere! the(sel8es aroun!
the setting sun an! they ere pure6 s(okeless fire hich oul! ne8er !ie% #he 8astness of this
fire an! its intensity penetrate! e8erything an! entere! the earth% #he earth as the hea8ens an!
the hea8ens the earth% An! e8erything as ali8e an! bursting ith colour an! colour as go!6
not the go! of (an% #he hills beca(e transparent6 e8ery rock an! boul!er as ithout eight6
floating in colour an! the !istant hills ere blue6 the blue of all the seas an! the sky of e8ery
cli(e% #he ripening rice fiel!s ere intense pink an! green6 a stretch of i((e!iate attention%
An! the roa! that crosse! the 8alley as purple an! hite6 so ali8e that it as one of the rays
that race! across the sky% &ou ere of that light6 burning6 furious6 eBplo!ing6 ithout sha!o6
ithout root an! or!% An! as the sun ent further !on6 e8ery colour beca(e (ore 8iolent6
(ore intense an! you ere co(pletely lost6 past all recalling% ,t as an e8ening that ha! no
(e(ory%
+
,n his talks to the chil!ren an! teachers ' Cuestione! the place of knole!ge
in the transfor(ation of (an% #he (in!s of the chil!ren ere ali8e6 Cuickene! by
!irect contact ith '>s presence6 the bene!iction6 an ocean in hich he alke!
an! talke!% #he clarity an! !epth of the insights re8eale! in the talks ere
startling% #hese talks ere later to appear in Krishnamurti on -du&ation% ,n the
talks ' e(phasiDe! the to instru(ents a8ailable to the hu(an (in!2
knole!ge6 hich enables one to gain (astery o8er the (aterial en8iron(entG
an! intelligence6 hich is born of obser8ation% #o the chil! he sai!6 A ne (in!
is only possible hen the religious spirit an! the scientific attitu!e for( part of
the sa(e (o8e(ent of consciousness%$ #o ' they ere not separate (o8e(ents
that ha! to be fuse!6 but a ne (o8e(ent inherent in intelligence an! in the
creati8e (in!%
' !enie! all hierarchical relationships% #o hi( right co((union as only
possible hen the teacher an! stu!ent functione! at the sa(e le8el6
co((unicating through Cuestion an! counterCuestion6 until in the act of learning
the proble( as eBplore! fully an! un!erstan!ing illu(ine! the (in! of the
stu!ent an! teacher si(ultaneously%
Speaking to the chil! of fear6 ' sai!6 =hen you see fear6 enCuire into it6 face
it6 then it goes aay%$ /e eBplore! ith the chil! the co(pleB proble( of fear%
/e unra8ele! the enor(ous !arknesses of fear an! the nature of beco(ing ith
!elicacy an! luci!ity% /e spoke of ti(e by the atch an! inner ti(e6 hich is
create! by the psyche6 as beco(ing the , shall be%$ Pro:ection into the future is
the root of fear%
A chil! aske! hi( about !eath% #here are to kin!s of !eath6$ he sai!%
Bo!ily !eath an! !eath of thought%$ #he bo!y6 the physical organis(6 has to
en!% =e are not afrai! of that% =e are afrai! that thought as the O(e6> hich has
li8e!6 acCuire! (oney6 fa(ily6 the O(e> that ants to beco(e i(portant6 ill
en!%$ /e aske! the chil!6 1o you see the !ifference beteen the physical !ying
an! the O(e> !ying5$ Chil!ren listene!6 the see! of intelligence as plante!6 on
rich earth or barren rocky soilHonly the future oul! re8eal%
/e intro!uce! the chil! to self*knoing an! (e!itation% At the en! of one
talk6 he sai!6 7irst of all6 sit co(pletely Cuiet6 co(fortably6 sit 8ery Cuietly6
relaB% @o6 look at the trees6 at the shape of the hills6 an! look at the Cuality6 the
color6 of the trees% 1o not listen to (e% =atch an! see those trees6 the yelloing
trees6 the ta(arin!6 an! then look at the bougain8illeas% 4ook not ith your (in!6
but ith your eyes% After ha8ing looke! at the colors6 the shapes6 an! the
sha!os of the trees6 of the hills6 the rocks6 then fro( the outsi!e (o8e to the
insi!e% Close your eyes6 close your eyes co(pletely% &ou ha8e finishe! looking
at things outsi!e6 an! no ith your eyes close!6 look at hat is happening
insi!e% =atch hat is happening insi!e you% 1o not think6 but :ust atch% 1o not
(o8e your eyeballs6 :ust keep the( 8ery 8ery Cuiet% #here is nothing to see no6
you ha8e seen all the things aroun! you6 no you are seeing hat is happening
insi!e your (in!% An! to see hat is happening insi!e your (in!6 you ha8e to be
8ery Cuiet insi!e% An! hen you are Cuiet6 !o you kno hat happens to you5
&ou beco(e 8ery sensiti8e6 you beco(e 8ery alert to things outsi!e an! insi!e%
#hen you fin! that the outsi!e is the insi!e% #hen you fin! out that the obser8er is
the obser8e!%$
)
/e spoke ith the sa(e !irectness to the teacher as he !i! to the chil!% /e
spoke of the urgency an! necessity to ha8e a long 8ision6 in hich the little
things are containe!% /e eBplore! ith tactile subtlety the (any !arknesses of the
(in!%
'>s final talk6 -n 7loering6$ is perhaps one of the (ost !aring an!
eBplosi8e of any talk on e!ucation%
Can frustration floer5$ he aske!% /o !o you Cuestion so that frustration
unfol!s6 so that frustration floers5 ,t is only hen thought floers that it can
naturally !ie% 4ike the floer in a gar!en6 thought (ust blosso(6 it (ust co(e to
fruition an! then it !ies% ,n the sa(e ay6 thought (ust be gi8en free!o( to !ie%
An! the right Cuestion is hether there can be free!o( for frustration to floer
an! to !ie5$
A teacher aske! hat he (eant by floering%$ 'rishna(urti ansere!6
4ook at the gar!en6 the floers in front o8er thereQ #hey co(e to bloo( an!
after a fe !ays they ither aay6 because it is their nature% @o6 frustration
(ust be gi8en free!o( so that it blosso(s%
&our Cuestion as2 O,s there a (o(entu( hich keeps (o8ing6 keeping
itself clean6 healthy5> #hat (o(entu(6 that fla(e hich burns6 can only be hen
there is free!o( for e8erything to floerHthe ugly6 the beautiful6 the e8il6 the
goo!6 the stupi!Hso that there is not a thing suppresse!6 so that there is not a
thing hich has not been brought out an! eBa(ine! an! burnt out% An! , cannot
!o that if through the little things , !o not !isco8er frustration6 (isery6 sorro6
conflict6 stupi!ity6 !ullness% ,f , only !isco8er frustration through reasoning , !o
not kno hat frustration (eans%$
#he teachers ere unable to un!erstan!6 an! Cuestione! further% &ou see6$
respon!e! '6 to you floering is an i!ea% #he little (in! alays !eals ith
sy(pto(s an! ne8er ith the fact% ,t !oes not ha8e the free!o( to fin! out% ,t is
!oing the 8ery thing hich in!icates the little (in!6 for it says6 O,t is a goo! i!ea6
, ill think about it6> an! so it is lost for it is then !ealing ith i!ea6 not ith fact%
,t !oes not say6 O4et it floer6 an! see hat happens%> #hen it oul! !isco8er%
But it says6 O,t is a goo! i!ea6 , (ust in8estigate the i!ea%> $
/e tol! the teachers that (ost people ere prisoners of little things% #hen he
aske!6 Can , see the sy(pto(6 go into the cause6 an! let the cause floer5 But6 ,
ant it to floer in a certain !irection6 hich (eans , ha8e an opinion on ho it
shoul! floer% @o6 can , go after that5 Can , see that , pre8ent the cause
floering because , a( afrai! , !o not kno hat ill happen if , allo
frustration to floer5 So6 can , go into hy , a( afrai!5 , see6 that so long as fear
eBists there can be no floering% So , ha8e to tackle fear6 not through the i!ea of
fear6 but tackle it as a fact6 hich (eans6 can , allo fear to blosso(5
All this reCuires a great !eal of inar! perception% #o allo fear to blosso(
H!o you kno hat that (eans5 Can , allo e8erything to blosso(5 #his !oes
not (ean , a( going to (ur!er6 rob so(ebo!y6 but can , :ust allo Ohat is> to
blosso(5$
Seeing that they still !i! not un!erstan!6 he aske!6 /a8e you gron a plant5
/o !o you !o it5$
A teacher replie!6 Prepare the groun!6 put in (anure%%%$
' continue!6 Put in the right (anure6 use the right see!6 put it in at the right
ti(e6 look after it6 pre8ent things fro( happening to it% &ou gi8e it free!o(% =hy
!o you not !o the sa(e ith :ealousy5$
#he floering here is not eBpresse! outsi!e like the plant%$
'rishna(urti sai!6 ,t is (uch (ore real than the plant you are planting
outsi!e in the fiel!% 1o you kno hat :ealousy is5 At the (o(ent of :ealousy6
!o you say it is i(agination5 &ou are burning ith it6 are you not5 &ou are
angry6 furious6 hy !o you not pursue it5 Pursue it not as an i!ea6 but actually%
Can you take it out6 look at it6 an! see that it floers5 So that each floering is a
!estruction of itself an!6 therefore6 there is no Oyou> at the en! to ask ho is
obser8ing the !estruction5 ,n that is real creation%$
#he teachers again aske!6 =hen the floer blosso(s6 it re8eals itself% =hat
eBactly !o you (ean6 Sir6 hen you say that hen :ealousy blosso(s it ill
!estroy itself5$
'rishna(urti sai!6 #ake a bu!6 an actual bu! fro( a bush% ,f you nip it6 it
ill ne8er floer6 it ill !ie Cuickly% ,f you let it blosso(6 then it shos you the
color6 the !elicacy6 the pollen% ,t shos hat it actually is6 ithout your being
tol! it is re!6 it is blue6 it is pollen% ,t is there for you to look at% ,n the sa(e ay6
if you allo :ealousy to floer6 then it shos you e8erything it actually isH
hich is en8y6 attach(ent% So6 in alloing :ealousy to blosso(6 it has shon you
all its colors6 it has re8eale! to you hat is behin! :ealousy%
#o say that :ealousy is the cause of attach(ent is (ere 8erbaliDation% But6 in
actually alloing :ealousy to floer6 the fact that you are attache! to so(ething
beco(es a fact6 an e(otional fact6 not an intellectual 8erbal i!ea% An! so each
floering re8eals hat you ha8e not been able to !isco8erG an! as each fact
un8eils itself6 it floers an! you !eal ith it% &ou let the fact floer an! it opens
other !oors6 till there is no floering at all of any kin! an!6 therefore6 no cause or
(oti8e of any kin!%$
6
Seeing the look on the faces of the teachers6 'rishna:i sai!6 ,n the 8ery act of
your listening6 the floering is taking place%$
'rishna:i>s relationship to the schools as un!ergoing !eep change% /e sa
the school as an oasis here the teaching coul! be cherishe! an! kept ali8e6
hate8er the !isor!er an! 8iolence in the orl!% A ne generation6 the ne
(in!6 ha! to co(e into beingG an! for that not only ha! the teacher an! the taught
to ha8e listening (in!s an! eyes that coul! see ith a long 8ision6 ithout
i!entification an! frag(entation6 but the groun! ha! to be ploughe! an! the see!
son6 the lan! (a!e holy ith bene!iction%
?a!hika an! , tra8ele! ith 'rishna:i in the car fro( ?ishi Falley to 3a!ras%
Al!ous /uBley an! his ife ere in ,n!ia6 an! ere to 8isit 3a!ras as
'rishna:i>s guests later in the (onth% , ha! pro(ise! to help (ake their stay in
Fasant Fihar6 a spartan househol!6 co(fortable% #he furniture in the roo(s at
Fasant Fihar ha! to be rearrange!6 an! so(e sophistication brought into the
ser8ing of (eals% -n reaching 3a!ras6 hoe8er6 there as a telegra( aaiting
(eG (y husban! ha! fallen ill6 an! so ?a!hika an! , left i((e!iately for 1elhi%
'rishna:i arri8e! in 1elhi later fro( 3a!ras ith 3a!ha8achari% 1e8astate!
by personal sorro6 , ent to see 'rishna:i% /e o8erhel(e! (e ith his
affection6 hel! (y face so that (y eyes coul! not escape the intense !epth of his
eyes6 an! repeate! the facts of (y bon!age an! the illusions an! hopes that
refuse! to be allaye!% Su!!enly6 it as o8er% So(e blockage ithin (e as
sept aay in the ri8ers of energy that floe! fro( hi(% ,n the folloing years ,
as to (eet hi( se8eral ti(es alone6 they ere (eetings regar!ing the schools or
concerning the teachingG it as 8ery sel!o( that , as to raise a personal
proble(%
4ater in 196.6 the !ecision taken by ?a!hika6 (y only chil!6 to (arry a
young philosopher fro( the "nite! States ha! shattere! (e% , as !eeply
attache! to her6 an! (y response to the propose! separation as ine8itable% 3y
bo!y an! (in! ere ra8age!% , coul! not bear to acco(pany her to A(erica6
here she as to (arry% , sa her to the airplane an! then fle! fro( the rest of
the fa(ily6 seeking to be alone6 aay fro( e8erything fa(iliar%
7ro( Calcutta , ent to Birbhu(6 an! on (y return rea! the nespaper
hea!lines% A(ergency ha! been !eclare! in ,n!ia% China ha! broken through
,n!ia>s !efenses an! as at the gateays% #he eyeball*to*eyeball confrontation of
'enne!y an! 'rusche8 o8er the Cuban (issile crisis ha! shaken the orl!% #he
point of no return ha! been reache!% , looke! at the hea!lines6 an! the groun!
collapse! un!er (e% , ha! to face the fact that , (ight ne8er see (y !aughter
again%
, sat through the hole night hol!ing the anguish6 letting the agony floo!
consciousness6 refusing to turn aay ith hope% AnBiety6 !espair6 (e(ories
aroseG the sense of fore8erG the terror of the or! paralyDe! (e6 but , sa it arise
an! let be% By the (orning the lo8e for (y !aughter as still as !eep6 but the
pain an! anguish that arose at the thought of the possible en!ing of the
relationship as Cuenche!% Attach(ent ha! lost one peg to hich it as roote!%
@o there re(aine! only (y !epen!ence on the guru6 an! that also as soon to
be challenge!%
?a!hika (et 'rishna:i in ;staa! on her ay to the "nite! States in
@o8e(ber 196.% 'rishna:i rote to (e fro( Chalet #annegg that he ha! (et
?a!hika an! gone for a long alk ith her% ,t as goo! that e (et6$ he sai!%
'noing hat her going oul! (ean to (e6 he rote6 ,t (ust be a great trial to
see ?a!hika go aay%$
CHAPTER 23
/appy ,s the 3an
=ho ,s @othing$2
4etters to a &oung 7rien!
Beteen 19+8 an! the early 196<s6 'rishna:i as easily accessible an! (any
people ca(e to hi(% -n alks6 in personal (eetings6 through letters6 the
relationships blosso(e!% /e rote the folloing letters
1
to a young frien! ho
ca(e to hi( oun!e! in bo!y an! (in!% #he letters6 ritten beteen June 19+8
an! 3arch 196<6 re8eal a rare co(passion an! clarity2 the teaching an! healing
unfol!G separation an! !istance !isappearG the or!s floG not a or! is
superfluousG the healing an! the teaching are si(ultaneous%
Be supple (entally% Strength !oes not lie in being fir( an! strong but in
being pliable% #he pliable tree stan!s in a gale% ;ather the strength of a sift
(in!%
4ife is strange6 so (any things happen uneBpecte!ly6 (ere resistance ill not
sol8e any proble(% -ne nee!s infinite pliability an! a single heart%
4ife is a raDor>s e!ge an! one has to alk on that path ith eBCuisite care an!
ith pliable is!o(%
4ife is so rich6 has so (any treasures6 e go to it ith e(pty heartsG e !o
not kno ho to fill our hearts ith the abun!ance of life% =e are poor inar!ly
an! hen the riches are offere! to us6 e refuse% 4o8e is a !angerous thing6 it
brings the only re8olution that gi8es co(plete happiness% So fe of us are
capable of lo8e6 so fe ant lo8e% =e lo8e on our on ter(s6 (aking of lo8e a
(arketable thing% =e ha8e the (arket (entality an! lo8e is not (arketable6 a
gi8e*an!*take affair% ,t is a state of being in hich all (an>s proble(s are
resol8e!% =e go to the ell ith a thi(ble an! so life beco(es a ta!ry affair6
puny an! s(all%
=hat a lo8ely place the earth coul! be6 for there is so (uch beauty6 so (uch
glory6 such i(perishable lo8eliness% =e are caught in pain an! !on>t care to get
out of it6 e8en hen so(eone points a ay out%
, !on>t kno6 but one>s afla(e ith lo8e% #here is an unCuenchable fla(e%
-ne has so (uch of it that one ants to gi8e it to e8eryone an! one !oes% ,t is
like a strong floing ri8er6 it nourishes an! aters e8ery ton an! 8illageG it is
pollute!6 the filth of (an goes into it but the aters soon purify the(sel8es an!
siftly (o8e on% @othing can spoil lo8e6 for all things are !issol8e! in itHthe
goo! an! the ba!6 the ugly an! the beautiful% ,t is the only thing that is its on
eternity%
#he trees ere so stately an! strangely i(per8ious to (an>s tarre! roa!s an!
traffic% #heir roots ere !eep !on6 !eep in the earth6 an! their tops stretche! to
the skies% =e ha8e our roots in the earth6 hich e ha8e an! (ust ha8e6 but e
cling or cral on the earthG only a fe soar into the skies% #hey are the only
creati8e an! happy people% #he rest spoil an! !estroy each other on this lo8ely
earth6 by hurt an! likeise gossip%
Be open% 4i8e in the past if you (ust6 but !on>t struggle against the pastG
hen the past co(es6 look into it6 not pushing it aay nor hol!ing to it too (uch%
#he eBperience of all these years6 the ache an! the :oy6 the sickening blos an!
your gli(pses of the separation6 the far*aay sense6 all these ill a!! enrich(ent
an! beauty% =hat is i(portant is hat you ha8e in your heartG an! since that is
o8erfloing6 you ha8e e8erything6 you are e8erything%
Be alert to all your thoughts an! feelings6 !on>t let one feeling or thought slip
by ithout being aare of it an! absorbing all its content% Absorbing is not the
or!6 but seeing the hole content of the thought*feeling% ,t is like entering a
roo( an! seeing the hole content of the roo( at once6 its at(osphere an! its
spaces% #o see an! be aare of one>s thoughts (akes one intensi8ely sensiti8e6
pliable6 an! alert% 1on>t con!e(n or :u!ge6 but be 8ery alert% -ut of separation6
out of the !ross co(es pure gol!%
#o see hat is6$ is really Cuite ar!uous% /o !oes one clearly obser8e5 A
ri8er hen it (eets an obstruction is ne8er stillG the ri8er breaks !on an
obstruction by its eight or goes o8er it or orks its ay un!er it or aroun! itG
the ri8er is ne8er stillG it cannot but act% ,t re8olts6 if e can so put it6
intelligently% -ne (ust re8olt intelligently an! accept hat is$ intelligently% #o
percei8e hat is$ there (ust be the spirit of intelligent re8olt% @ot to (istake a
stu(p nee!s a certain intelligenceG but generally one is so eager to get hat one
ants6 that one !ashes against the obstacleG either one breaks oneself against it or
one eBhausts oneself in the struggle against it% #o see the rope as the rope nee!s
no courage6 but to (istake the rope for a snake an! then to obser8e nee!s
courage% -ne (ust !oubt6 e8er search6 see the false as the false% -ne gets poer
to see clearly through the intensity of attentionG you ill see it ill co(e% -ne
has to actG the ri8er is ne8er not*acting6 it is e8er acti8e% -ne (ust be in a state of
negation6 to actG this 8ery negation brings its on positi8e action% , think the
proble( is to see clearly6 then that 8ery perception brings its on action% =hen
there is elasticity there is no Cuestion of right an! rong%
-ne (ust be 8ery clear ithin oneself% #hen , assure you e8erything ill
co(e rightG be clear an! you ill see that things ill shape the(sel8es right
ithout your !oing anything about it% #he right is not hat one !esires%
#here (ust be co(plete re8olution6 not only in great things6 but in little
e8ery!ay things% &ou ha8e ha! that re8olution6 !on>t settle back6 keep at it% 'eep
the pot boiling6 inar!ly%
, hope you ha8e ha! a goo! night6 pleasant sunrise out of your in!o an!
you ere able to see the e8ening stars peacefully before you ent to sleep% /o
little e kno of lo8e6 of its eBtraor!inary ten!erness an! poer6$ ho easily
e use the or! lo8eG the general uses itG the butcher uses itG the rich (an uses it
an! the young boy an! girl use it% But ho little they kno of it6 its 8astness6 its
!eathlessness6 its unfatho(ability% #o lo8e is to be aare of eternity%
=hat a thing is relationship6 an! ho easily e fall into that habit of a
particular relationship6 things are taken for grante!6 the situation accepte! an! no
8ariation tolerate!G no (o8e(ent toar!s uncertainty6 e8en for a secon!6
entertaine!% A8erything is so ell regulate!6 so (a!e secure6 so tie! !on6 that
there is no chance for any freshness6 for a clear re8i8ing breath of the spring%
#his an! (ore is calle! relationship% ,f e closely obser8e6 relationship is (uch
(ore subtle6 (ore sift than lightning6 (ore 8ast than the earth6 for relationship
is life% 4ife is conflict% =e ant to (ake relationship cru!e6 har!6 an!
(anageable% So it loses its fragrance6 its beauty% All this arises because one !oes
not lo8e6 an! that of course is the greatest thing of all6 for in it there has to be the
co(plete aban!on(ent of oneself%
,t is the Cuality of freshness6 of neness6 that is essential6 or otherise life
beco(es a routine6 a habitG an! lo8e is not a habit6 a boring thing% 3ost people
ha8e lost all sense of on!er(ent% #hey take e8erything for grante!6 this sense of
security !estroys free!o( an! the on!er(ent of uncertainty%
=e pro:ect a far !istant future6 aay fro( the present% #he attention to
un!erstan! is alays in the present% ,n attention there is alays a sense of
i((inence% #o be clear in one>s intentions is Cuite an ar!uous taskG intention is
as a fla(e6 ceaselessly urging one to un!erstan!% Be clear in your intentions an!
you ill see6 things ill ork out% #o be clear in the present is all that one nee!s6
but it is not Cuite so easy as it soun!s% -ne has to clear the fiel! for the ne see!
an! once the see! is plante!6 its on 8itality an! strength creates the fruit an! the
see!% -utar! beauty can ne8er last6 it is (arre! alays if there is no inar!
!elight an! :oy% =e culti8ate the outer6 paying so little attention to the thing
insi!e the skinG but it is the inner that alays o8erco(es the outer% ,t is the or(
insi!e the apple that !estroys the freshness of the apple%
,t nee!s great intelligence for a (an an! o(an to be forgotten6 to li8e
together6 not surren!er to each other or be !o(inate! by one or the other%
?elationship is the (ost !ifficult thing in life%
/o strangely one is susceptible to an at(osphere6 one nee!s a frien!ly
tension6 a sense of ar( attention in hich one can freely an! naturally blosso(%
So fe ha8e this at(osphereG an! so (ost are stunte!6 physically as ell as
psychologically% , a( 8ery surprise! that you ha8e sur8i8e! ithout being
per8erte! in that peculiar at(osphere% -ne can see hy you ere not utterly
!estroye!6 spotte! an! tiste!G outar!ly you a!:uste! as rapi!ly as possible6
inar!ly you put yourself to sleep% ,t is this inar! insensiti8ity that sa8e! you%
,f you ha! alloe! yourself to be sensiti8e6 inar!ly aake6 you coul!n>t ha8e
stoo! it an! so there oul! ha8e been conflict an! you oul! ha8e broken !on6
been (arke!% @o that you are inar!ly aake an! are clear6 you ha8e no
conflict ith the at(osphere% ,t is this conflict that (akes for per8ersion% &ou
ill alays re(ain unscarre! if you are inar!ly 8ery alert an! aake an!
ar(ly a!:ust to things eBternally%
Substitutes soon ither aay% -ne (ay be orl!ly e8en though one has a fe
things% #he !esire for poer in any for(G the poer of the ascetic6 the poer of a
big financier or the politician or the pope is orl!ly% #he cra8ing for poer
bree!s ruthlessness an! ree(phasiDes the i(portance of oneself6 the self*
eBpansi8e aggressi8eness is in essence orl!liness% /u(ility is si(plicity6 but
the culti8ate! hu(ility is another for( of orl!liness%
Fery fe are aare of their inar! changes6 setbacks6 conflicts an!
!istortions% A8en if they are aare they try to push the( asi!e or run aay fro(
the(% 1on>t you !o it% , !on>t think you ill6 but there is a !anger of li8ing ith
your thoughts an! feelings too closely% -ne has to be aare of one>s thoughts
an! feelings6 ithout anBiety6 ithout pressure% #he real re8olution has taken
place in your life6 you shoul! be 8ery (uch aare of your thoughts an! feelings
Hlet the( co(e out6 !on>t check the(6 !on>t hol! the( back% 4et the( pour out6
the gentle as ell as the 8iolent ones6 but be aare of the(%
-ccupie! ith hat are your !esires6 if you ha8e any5 #he orl! is a goo!
place6 e !o e8erything to get aay fro( it through orship6 prayer6 our lo8es
an! fears% =e !on>t kno hether e are rich or poor6 e ha8e ne8er gone !eep
!on into oursel8es an! !isco8ere! hat is%$ =e eBist on the surface6 satisfie!
ith so little an! (a!e happy an! unhappy by such s(all things% -ur petty (in!s
ha8e petty proble(s an! petty ansers6 an! so e spen! our !ays% =e !on>t
lo8e6 an! hen e !o it is alays ith fear an! frustration6 ith sorro an!
longing%
, as thinking ho i(portant it is to be innocent6 to ha8e an innocent (in!%
ABperiences are ine8itable6 perhaps necessaryG life is a series of eBperiences6 but
the (in! nee! not be bur!ene! ith its on accu(ulati8e !e(an!s% ,t can ipe
off each eBperience an! keep itself innocentHunbur!ene!% #his is i(portant6
otherise the (in! can ne8er be fresh6 alert an! pliable% #he ho$ to keep the
(in! pliable is not the proble(G the ho$ is the search for a (etho!6 an!
(etho! can ne8er (ake the (in! innocentG it can (ake it (etho!ical6 but ne8er
innocent6 creati8e%
,t began to rain yester!ay afternoon an! ho it poure! last night% , ha8e ne8er
hear! anything like it% ,t as as if the hea8ens opene!% #here as eBtraor!inary
silence ith it6 the silence of eight6 a great eight pouring itself on the earth%
,t is alays !ifficult to keep si(ple an! clear% #he orl! orships success6
the bigger the betterG the greater the au!ience the greater the speakerG the colossal
super buil!ings6 cars6 aeroplanes an! people% Si(plicity is lost% #he successful
people are not the ones ho are buil!ing a ne orl!% #o be a real re8olutionary
reCuires a co(plete change of heart an! (in!6 an! ho fe ant to free
the(sel8es% -ne cuts the surface rootsG but to cut the !eep fee!ing roots of
(e!iocrity6 success6 nee!s so(ething (ore than or!s6 (etho!s6 co(pulsions%
#here see( to be fe6 but they are the real buil!ersHthe rest labor in 8ain%
-ne is e8erlastingly co(paring oneself ith another6 ith hat one is6 ith
hat one shoul! be6 ith so(eone ho is (ore fortunate% #his co(parison really
kills% Co(parison is !egra!ing6 it per8erts one>s outlook% An! on co(parison one
is brought up% All our e!ucation is base! on it an! so is our culture% So there is
e8erlasting struggle to be so(ething other than hat one is% #he un!erstan!ing of
hat one is unco8ers creati8eness6 but co(parison bree!s co(petiti8eness6
ruthlessness6 a(bition6 hich e think brings about progress% Progress has only
le! so far to (ore ruthless ars an! (isery than the orl! has e8er knon% #o
bring up chil!ren ithout co(parison is true e!ucation%
,t see(s strange to be riting6 hat see(s so unnecessary% #he thing that
(atters is here an! you are there% #he real things are alays alike6 so unnecessary
to rite about or talk aboutG an! in the 8ery act of riting or talking so(ething
happens to per8ert it6 spoil it% #here are so (any things that are sai! apart fro(
the real thing% #his urge to fulfill6 hich burns so (any people6 in s(all ays
an! big ays% #his urge can be satisfie! in so(e ay or the other6 an! ith
satisfaction the !eeper things fa!e aay% #hat is hat happens in (ost cases6
!oes it not5 7ulfill(ent of !esire is such a s(all affair6 hoe8er pleasantG but
ith its fulfill(ent6 as it keeps on satisfying itself6 routine6 bore!o( sets in an!
the real thing fa!es aay% ,t is the real thing that has to re(ain an! the on!er of
it is6 it !oesHif there is no thought of fulfill(ent but :ust seeing things as they
are%
=e are so 8ery sel!o( aloneG alays ith people6 ith thoughts that cro!
in6 hopes that ha8e not been fulfille!6 or are going to beHrecollections% #o be
alone is essential for (an to be uninfluence!6 for so(ething unconta(inate! to
take place% 7or this aloneness there see(s to be no ti(e6 there are too (any
things to !o6 too (any responsibilities an! so on% #o learn to be Cuiet6 shutting
oneself in one>s roo(6 to gi8e the (in! a rest6 beco(es a necessity% 4o8e is part
of this aloneness% #o be si(ple6 clear6 an! inar!ly Cuiet6 is to ha8e that fla(e%
#hings (ay not be easy but the (ore one asks of life6 the (ore fearful an!
painful it beco(es% #o li8e si(ply6 uninfluence!6 though e8erything an!
e8eryone is trying to influence6 to be ithout 8arying (oo!s an! !e(an!s is not
easy6 but ithout a !eep Cuiet life6 all things are futile%
/o clear the blue sky is6 8ast6 ti(eless an! ithout space% 1istance an!
space is a thing of the (in!G there an! here are facts6 but they beco(e
psychological factors ith the urge of !esire% #he (in! is a strange pheno(enon%
So co(pleB an! yet so essentially si(ple% ,t is (a!e co(pleB by the (any
psychological co(pulsions% ,t is this that causes conflict an! pain6 the resistance
an! the acCuisitions% #o be aare of the(6 an! let the( pass by an! not be
entangle! in the(6 is ar!uous% 4ife is as a 8ast floing ri8er% #he (in! hol!s in
its net the things of this ri8er6 !iscar!ing an! hol!ing% #here shoul! be no net%
#he net is of ti(e an! space6 it is the net that creates here an! thereG happiness
an! unhappiness%
Pri!e is a strange thing6 pri!e in s(all things an! big thingsG in our
possessions6 in our achie8e(ents6 in our 8irtues6 pri!e of race6 na(e an! fa(ilyG
in capacity6 in looks6 in knole!ge% =e (ake all this fee! this pri!e6 or e run to
hu(ility% #he opposite of pri!e is not hu(ilityHit is still pri!e6 only it is calle!
hu(ilityG the consciousness of being hu(ble is a for( of pri!e% #he (in! has to
be so(ething% ,t struggles to be this or that6 it can ne8er be in a state of
nothingness% ,f nothingness is a ne eBperience6 it (ust ha8e that eBperience6 the
8ery atte(pt to be still is another acCuisition% #he (in! (ust go beyon! all effort
only then%%%
-ur !ays are so e(pty6 fille! ith acti8ities of e8ery kin!6 business6
speculation6 (e!itation6 sorro6 an! :oy% But in spite of all these6 our li8es are
e(pty% Strip a (an of position6 poer6 or of (oney6 hat is he5 /e ha! all that
sho6 outar!ly6 but he is e(pty6 shallo6 inar!ly% -ne can>t ha8e both6 the
inner an! outer riches% #he inner fullness far outeighs the outer% -ne can be
robbe! of the outer6 outer e8ents can shatter hat has been carefully built upG but
the inner riches are incorruptible6 nothing can touch the(6 for they ha8e not been
put together by the (in!%
#he !esire to fulfill is 8ery strong in people an! they pursue it at any cost%
#his fulfill(ent6 in e8ery ay an! in any !irection6 sustains peopleG if fulfill(ent
fails in one !irection6 then they try in another% But is there such a thing as
fulfill(ent5 7ulfill(ent (ay bring a certain satisfaction6 but it soon fa!es aay
an! again e are on the hunt% ,n the un!erstan!ing of !esire the hole proble(
of fulfill(ent ceases% 1esire is effort to be6 to beco(e6 an! ith an en!ing to
beco(ing the struggle to fulfill 8anishes%
#he (ountains (ust be alone% ,t (ust be a lo8ely thing to ha8e rain a(ong
the (ountains an! the rain !rops on the placi! lake% /o the s(ell of the earth
co(es out hen it rains an! then there are the croakings of (any frogs% #here>s a
strange enchant(ent in the tropics6 hen it rains% A8erything is ashe! cleanG the
!ust on the leaf is ashe! aayG the ri8ers co(e to life an! there is the noise of
running aters% #he trees put out green shoots6 there is the ne il! grass here
there as barren earthG insects by the thousan!s co(e out fro( nohere an! the
parche! earth is fe! an! the earth see(s satisfie! an! at peace% #he sun see(s to
ha8e lost its penetrating Cuality an! the earth has beco(e greenG a place of beauty
an! richness% 3an goes on (aking his on (isery6 but the earth is rich once
again an! there is enchant(ent in the air%
,t is strange ho (ost people ant recognition an! praiseHto be recogniDe!
as a great poet6 as a philosopher6 so(ething that boosts one>s ego% ,t gi8es great
satisfaction but it has 8ery little (eaning% ?ecognition fee!s one>s 8anity an!
perhaps one>s pocket6 an! then hat5 ,t sets one apart an! separation bree!s its
on proble(s6 e8er increasing% #hough it (ay gi8e satisfaction6 recognition is
not an en! in itself% But (ost people are caught in the cra8ing to be recogniDe!6
to fulfill6 to achie8e% An! failure is then ine8itable6 ith its acco(panying
(isery% #o be free of both success an! failure is the real thing% 7ro( the
beginning not to look for a result6 to !o the thing that one lo8es6 an! lo8e has no
rear! or punish(ent% #his is really a si(ple thing if there is lo8e%
/o little attention e pay to things about us6 to obser8e an! to consi!er% =e
are so self*centere!6 so occupie! ith our orries6 ith our on benefits6 e
ha8e no ti(e to obser8e an! un!erstan!% #his occupation (akes our (in! !ull
an! eary6 frustrate! an! sorroful6 an! fro( sorro e ant to escape% As long
as the self is acti8e there (ust be eary !ullness an! frustration% People are
caught in a (a! race6 in the grief of self*centere! sorro% #his sorro is !eep
thoughtlessness% #he thoughtful6 the atchful are free fro( sorro%
/o lo8ely a ri8er is% A country ithout a rich6 i!e6 floing ri8er is no
country at all% #o sit on the bank of a ri8er an! let the aters flo by6 to atch
the gentle ripples an! hear the lapping of the ripples on the bankG to see the in!
on the ater (aking patternsG to see the sallos touching the ater6 the ater
catching insectsG an! in the !istance6 across the ater6 on the other bank6 hu(an
8oices or a boy playing the flute6 of a still e8ening6 Cuietens all the noise about
one% So(eho6 the aters see( to purify one6 cleanse the !ust of yester!ay>s
(e(ories an! gi8e that Cuality to the (in! of its on pureness6 as the ater in
itself is pure% A ri8er recei8es e8erythingHthe seer6 the corpses6 the filth of the
cities it passes6 an! yet it cleanses itself ithin a fe (iles% ,t recei8es e8erything
an! re(ains itself6 neither caring nor knoing the pure fro( i(pure% ,t>s only the
pon!s6 the little pu!!les that are soon conta(inate!6 for they are not li8ing6
floing6 as the i!e6 seet*s(elling floing ri8ers% -ur (in!s are s(all
pu!!les6 soon (a!e i(pure% ,t>s the little pon!6 calle! (in!6 that :u!ges6 eighs6
analyDes6 an! yet re(ains the little pool of responsibility%
#hought has a root or roots6 thought itself is the root% #here (ust be reaction
or otherise there>s !eathG but to see that this reaction !oes not eBten! its root
into the present or into the future is the proble(% #hought is boun! to arise6 but to
be aare of it an! to en! it i((e!iately is essential% #o think about thought6 to
eBa(ine it6 to play aroun! it6 is to eBten! it6 to gi8e it root% #his is really
i(portant to un!erstan!% #o see ho the (in! thinks about thought is to react to
the fact% #he reaction is sa!ness an! so on% #o begin feeling sa!6 to think of the
future return6 to count the !ay6 etc%6 is to gi8e root to the thought concerning the
fact% So the (in! establishes roots6 an! then ho to root the( out beco(es
another proble(6 another i!ea% #o think of the future is to ha8e roots in the soil of
uncertainty%
#o be really alone6 not ith yester!ay>s (e(ories an! proble(s but to be
alone an! happy6 to be alone ithout any outar! or inar! co(pulsion6 is to let
the (in! be uninterfere!% #o be alone% #o ha8e a Cuality of lo8e about a tree6
protecti8e an! yet alone% =e are losing the feeling for trees6 an! so e are losing
lo8e for (an% =hen e can>t lo8e nature6 e can>t lo8e (an% -ur ;o!s ha8e
beco(e so s(all an! petty an! so is our lo8e% ,n (e!iocrity e ha8e our being6
but there are the trees6 the open hea8ens6 an! the ineBhaustible riches of the earth%
&ou (ust ha8e a clear (in!6 a free untethere! (in!G this is essential6 you cannot
ha8e a clear6 penetrating (in! if there is fear of any sort% 7ear clogs the (in!% ,f
the (in! !oes not face its on self*create! proble(s6 it is not a clear6 !eep (in!%
#o face its on peculiarities6 to be aare of its urges6 !eeply an! inar!ly6 to
acknole!ge all this ithout any resistance6 is to ha8e a profoun! an! clear
(in!% #hen only can there be a subtle (in!6 not (erely a sharp (in!% A subtle
(in! is a slo6 hesitant (in!G not a (in! that conclu!es6 :u!ges6 or for(ulates%
#his subtlety is essential% ,t (ust kno to listen an! to ait% #o play ith the
!eep% #his is not to be got at the en!6 but this Cuality of the (in! (ust be there
fro( the 8ery beginning% &ou (ay ha8e it6 gi8e it a full an! !eep chance to
floer%
#o go into the unknonG to take nothing for grante!6 not to assu(e anything6
to be free to fin! out6 an! then only can there be !epth an! un!erstan!ing%
-therise one re(ains on the surface% =hat is i(portant is not to pro8e or
!ispro8e a point6 but to fin! out the truth%
All i!ea of change or the truth of change is seen hen there>s only hat is%$
#he hat is$ is not !ifferent fro( the thinker% #he thinker is that hat is6$ the
thinker is not separate fro( that hich is%$
,t>s not possible to be at peace if there>s any kin! of ant6 any hope for so(e
future state% Suffering follos if there>s any ant6 life is generally full of antG
e8en to ha8e one ant lea!s to en!less (isery% 7or the (in! to free itself fro(
that one ant6 e8en to kno that one !esire nee!s attention6 an! that is Cuite an
affair% =hen foun!6 !on>t let it beco(e a proble(% #o prolong the proble( is to
allo it to take root% 1on>t let it take root% #he one ant is the one an! only pain%
,t !arkens lifeG there>s frustration an! pain% Just be aare of it an! be si(ple ith
it%
#hrough this estate runs a strea(% ,t is not Cuiet ater running peacefully to
the big ri8er6 but a noisy cheerful strea(% All this country aroun! here is hilly6
the strea( has (any a fall an! at one place there are three falls of !ifferent
!epths% #he higher one (akes the noise6 the lou!est6 the other to are not 8oluble
but are on a (inor key% All these three falls are space! !ifferently6 an! so there is
a continuous (o8e(ent of soun!% &ou ha8e to listen to hear the (usic% ,t>s an
orchestra playing a(ong the orchar!s6 in the open skies6 but the (usic is there%
&ou ha8e to search it out6 you ha8e to listen6 you ha8e to be ith the floing
aters to hear its (usic% &ou (ust be the hole to hear itHthe skies6 the earth6
the soaring trees6 the green fiel!s an! the running aters6 then only you hear it%
But all this is too (uch trouble6 you buy a ticket an! sit in a hall6 surroun!e! by
people6 an! the orchestra plays or so(eone sings% #hey !o all the ork for youG
so(eone co(poses the song6 the (usic6 another plays or sings6 an! you pay to
listen% A8erything in life6 eBcept for a fe things6 is secon!*6 thir!*6 or fourth*
han!Hthe ;o!s6 poe(s6 politics6 (usic% So our life is e(pty% Being e(pty e
try to fill itHith (usic6 ith ;o!s6 ith lo8e6 ith for(s of escape6 an! the
8ery filling is the e(ptying% But beauty is not to be bought% So fe ant beauty
an! goo!ness6 an! (an is satisfie! ith secon!*han! things% #o thro it all off is
the real an! only re8olution6 an! then only is there the creati8eness of reality%
,t>s strange ho (an insists on continuity in all thingsG in relationships6 in
tra!ition6 in religion6 in art% #here>s no breaking off an! a beginning ne again% ,f
(an ha! no book6 no lea!er6 no one to copy6 no one to follo6 to eBa(ple6 if he
as co(pletely alone6 strippe! of all his knole!ge6 he oul! ha8e to start fro(
the 8ery beginning% -f course this co(plete stripping of hi(self (ust be holly
an! fully spontaneous an! 8oluntary6 otherise he oul! go (a!6 force hi(self
into so(e kin! of neurosis% As only a fe see( to be capable of this co(plete
aloneness6 the orl! carries on ith tra!itionHin its art6 its (usic6 its politics6 its
;o!sHhich e8erlastingly bree! (isery% #his is hat is happening in the orl!
at the present ti(e% #here is nothing ne6 there is only opposition an! counter*
oppositionHin religion the ol! for(ula of fear an! !og(a continuesG in the arts
there is the en!ea8or to fin! so(ething ne% But the (in! is not ne6 it is the
sa(e ol! (in!6 ri!!en ith tra!ition6 fear6 knole!ge6 an! eBperience6
en!ea8oring to search the ne% ,t is the (in! itself that (ust !enu!e itself6
holly6 for the ne to be% #his is the real re8olution%
#he in! is bloing fro( the south6 !ark clou!s an! rain6 e8erything is
putting forth6 reaching out an! reneing itself%
#he far(er about here ha! a beautiful rabbit6 ali8e an! kicking% /is o(an
carrie! it to hi( an! one of the o(en sai!6 , cannot look6$ an! the (an kille!
it6 an! a fe (inutes later that hich as ali8e6 ith a light in its eyes6 as being
skinne! by the o(en% /ere they are use! to killing ani(als6 as elsehere in the
orl!6 religion !oes not forbi! the( to kill% ,n ,n!ia here for centuries6 chil!ren
are tol!6 at least in the South a(ong the Brah(ins6 not to kill6 ho cruel it is to
kill6 there are (any chil!ren ho hen they gro up are force! by circu(stances
to change their culture o8ernight% #hey eat (eat6 they beco(e ar(y officers to
kill an! be kille!% -8ernight their 8alues change% #he centuries of a particular
pattern of culture is o8erthron an! a ne one taken on% #he !esire to be secure6
in one for( or another6 is so !o(inant that the (in! ill a!:ust itself to any
pattern that can gi8e it security an! safety% But there is no securityG an! hen one
really un!erstan!s this6 there>s so(ething totally !ifferent6 hich creates its on
ay of life% #hat life cannot be un!erstoo! or copie!G all that one can !o is to
un!erstan! an! be aare of the ays of security6 hich brings its on free!o(%
#he earth is beautiful an! the (ore you are aare of it6 the (ore beautiful it
is% #he color6 the 8arieties of greens6 the yellos% ,t is a(aDing hat one
!isco8ers hen one is alone ith the earth% @ot only the insects6 the bir!s6 the
grass6 the 8arieties of floers6 the rocks6 the colors an! the trees6 but thoughts6 if
one lo8es the(% =e are ne8er alone ith anything% =ith oursel8es6 or ith the
earth% ,t is easy to be alone ith a !esire6 not to resist it by an action of ill6 not
to let it run aay into so(e action6 not to allo its fulfill(ent6 not create its
opposite by :ustification or con!e(nationG but to be alone ith it% #his brings
about a 8ery strange state ithout any action of ill% ,t is that hich creates
resistance an! conflict% Being alone ith a !esire brings about a transfor(ation in
the !esire itself% Play ith this an! !isco8er hat happensG !on>t force anything6
but consi!er it easily%
A!ucation5 =hat !o e (ean by it5 =e learn to rea! an! rite6 acCuire a
techniCue necessary for a li8elihoo!6 an! then e are let loose on the orl!%
7ro( chil!hoo! e are tol! hat to !o6 hat to think6 an! inar!ly e are
!eeply con!itione! by social an! en8iron(ental influence%
, as thinking6 can e e!ucate (an on the outsi!e but lea8e the center free5
Can e help (an to be free inar!ly an! be alays free5 7or it is only in
free!o( that he can be creati8e an! so be happy% -therise6 life is such a
tortuous affair6 a battle ithin an! so ithout% But to be free insi!e nee!s
astonishing care an! is!o(G but fe see the i(portance of this% =e are
concerne! ith the outer an! not ith creati8ity% But to change all this6 there
(ust be at least a fe ho un!erstan! the necessity of this6 ho the(sel8es are
inar!ly bringing about this free!o(% ,t is a strange orl!%
=hat is i(portant is a ra!ical change in the unconscious% Any conscious
action of the ill cannot touch the unconscious% As the conscious ill cannot
touch the unconscious pursuits6 ants6 urges6 the conscious (in! (ust subsi!e6
be still6 an! not try to force the unconscious6 accor!ing to any particular pattern
of action% #he unconscious has its on pattern of action6 its on fra(e ithin
hich it functions% #his fra(e cannot be broken by any outar! action6 an! ill
is an outar! act% ,f this is really seen an! un!erstoo!6 the outar! (in! is stillG
an! because there is no resistance6 set up by ill6 one ill fin! that the so*calle!
unconscious begins to free itself fro( its on li(itations% #hen only is there a
ra!ical transfor(ation in the total being of (an%
1ignity is a 8ery rare thing% An office or a position of respect gi8es !ignity% ,t
is like putting on a coat% #he coat6 the post gi8es !ignity% A title or a position
gi8es !ignity% But strip (an of these things6 an! 8ery fe ha8e that Cuality of
!ignity that co(es ith inar! free!o( of being as nothing% Being so(ething is
hat (an cra8es for6 an! that so(ething gi8es hi( a position in society hich it
respects% Put a (an into a category of so(e kin!Hcle8er6 rich6 a saint6 a
physicistG but if he cannot be put into a category that society recogniDes6 he is an
o!! person% 1ignity cannot be assu(e!6 be culti8ate!6 an! to be conscious of
being !ignifie! is to be conscious of oneself6 hich is to be petty6 s(all% #o be
nothing is to be free of that 8ery i!ea% Being6 not of or in a particular state6 is true
!ignity% ,t cannot be taken aay6 it alays is%
#o allo the free flo of life6 ithout any resi!ue being left6 is real
aareness% #he hu(an (in! is like a sie8e hich hol!s so(e things an! lets
others go% =hat it hol!s is the siDe of its on !esiresG an! !esires6 hoe8er
profoun!6 8ast6 noble6 are s(all6 are petty6 for !esire is a thing of the (in!% @ot
to retain6 but to ha8e the free!o( of life to flo ithout restraint6 ithout choice6
is co(plete aareness% =e are alays choosing or hol!ing6 choosing the things
that ha8e significance an! e8erlastingly hol!ing on to the(% #his e call
eBperience6 an! the (ultiplication of eBperiences e call the richness of life% #he
richness of life is the free!o( fro( the accu(ulation of eBperience% #he
eBperience that re(ains6 that is hel!6 pre8ents that state in hich the knon is
not% #he knon is not the treasure6 but the (in! clings to it an! thereby !estroys
or !efiles the unknon%
4ife is a strange business% /appy is the (an ho is nothing%
=e are6 (ost of us at least6 creatures of (oo!s an! a 8ariety of (oo!s% 7e
of us escape fro( it% =ith so(e6 it is cause! by the bo!ily con!ition6 ith others
it is a (ental state% =e like this up an! !on state6 e think this (o8e(ent of
(oo!s is part of eBistence% -r one :ust !rifts fro( one (oo! to another% But there
are fe ho are not caught in this (o8e(ent6 ho are free fro( the battle of
beco(ing6 so that inar!ly there is a stea!iness6 not of the ill6 a stea!iness that
is not culti8ate!6 nor the stea!iness of concentrate! interest6 nor the pro!uct of
any one of these acti8ities% ,t co(es upon one only hen the action of ill
ceases%
3oney !oes spoil people% #here is a peculiar arrogance of the rich% =ith 8ery
fe eBceptions6 in e8ery country6 the rich ha8e that peculiar at(osphere of being
able to tist anything6 e8en the ;o!s6 an! they can buy their ;o!s% ?iches is not
only of ealth6 but the capacity of being able to !o things% Capacity gi8es (an an
o!! sense of free!o(% /e also feels he is abo8e others6 he is !ifferent% All this
gi8es hi( a sense of superiorityG he sits back an! atches other people
sCuir(ingG he is obli8ious to his on ignorance6 the !arkness of his on (in!%
3oney an! capacity offer a 8ery goo! escape fro( this !arkness% After all6
escape is a for( of resistance6 hich bree!s its on proble(s% 4ife is a strange
business% /appy is the (an ho is nothing%
#ake things easily6 but inar!ly ith fullness an! alertness% 1on>t let a
(o(ent slip by ithout being fully aare of hat is happening inar!ly an!
about you% -ften this is hat it is to be sensiti8e6 not to one or to things6 but to
be sensiti8e to e8erything% #o be sensiti8e to beauty an! to resist ugliness is to
bring about conflict% &ou kno6 as you atch you ill percei8e that the (in! is
alays :u!gingHthis is goo! an! that is ba!6 this is black an! that is hiteH
:u!ging people6 co(paring6 eighing6 calculating% #he (in! is e8erlastingly
restless% Can the (in! atch6 obser8e6 ithout :u!ging6 calculating5 Percei8e
ithout na(ing an! :ust see if the (in! can !o that%
Play ith this% 1on>t force it6 let it atch itself% 3ost people ho atte(pt to
be si(ple begin ith the outer6 !iscar!ing6 renouncing6 an! so onG but inar!ly
the co(pleBity of their being re(ains% =ith inar! si(plicity6 the outer
correspon!s to the inner% #o be si(ple inar!ly is to be free fro( the urge for the
(ore6 hich !oes not (ean to be satisfie! ith hat is%$ #o be free fro( the
urge for the (ore is not to think in ter(s of ti(e6 progress6 getting there% #o be
si(ple is for the (in! to free itself fro( all results6 is for the (in! to e(pty itself
of all conflict% #his is real si(plicity%
/o can the (in! battle beteen the ugly an! the beautiful6 clinging to the
one an! pushing aay the other% #his conflict (akes the (in! insensiti8e an!
eBclusi8e% Any atte(pt on the part of the (in! to fin! an un!efine! line beteen
the to is still part of the one or the other% #hought cannot6 !o hat it ill6 free
itself fro( the oppositesG thought itself has create! the ugly an! the beautiful6 an!
goo! an! the ba!% So it cannot free itself fro( its on acti8ities% All that it can !o
is to be still6 not choose% Choice is conflict an! the (in! is back again to its on
entangle(ents% #he stillness of the (in! is the free!o( fro( !uality%
#here is so (uch !iscontent an! one thinks an i!eology6 co((unis( or other6
is going to sol8e e8erything6 e8en banish aay !iscontent6 hich of course it can
ne8er !o% Co((unis( or any other organiDe! religious con!itioning can ne8er
!o aay ith !iscontentG but one tries e8ery ay to s(other it6 to shape it6 to
gi8e it content6 but it is alays there% #o be !iscontente!6 one thinks6 is rongH
nor(ally not right6 an! yet one cannot !o aay ith itG it has to be un!erstoo!%
#o un!erstan! is not to con!e(n% So really go into it6 atch it ithout any !esire
to change it6 to channeliDe it% Be aare of it as it operates !uring the !ay6
percei8e its ays an! be alone ith it%
7ree!o( co(es hen the (in! is alone% Just for the fun of the thing6 keep the
(in! still6 free of all thought% Play ith it6 !on>t (ake it a 8ery serious affair6
ithout any struggle6 be aare an! let the (in! be still%
#here is frustration as long as one is seeking fulfill(ent% #he pleasure of
fulfill(ent is a constant !esire an! e ant the continuity of that pleasure% #he
en!ing of that pleasure is frustration in hich there is pain% Again the (in! seeks
in !ifferent !irections fulfill(ent an! again it (eets frustration% #his frustration is
the (o8e(ent of self*consciousness hich is isolation6 separation6 loneliness%
7ro( this the (in! ants to escape again into so(e for( of fulfill(ent% #he
struggle to fulfill brings the conflict of !uality% =hen the (in! sees the futility or
truth of fulfill(ent6 in hich there is alays frustration6 then only can the (in!
be in that state of loneliness fro( hich there is no escape% =hen the (in! is in
this state of loneliness6 ithout any escape6 then only is there free!o( fro( it%
Separation eBists because of the !esire to fulfillG frustration is separation%
@o shocks (ust e8er take place no6 e8en the fleeting ones% #hese
psychological reactions affect the bo!y6 ith its a!8erse effects% Be 8ery strong
inar!ly% Be fir( an! clear% Be co(pleteG !on>t try to be co(plete6 be co(plete%
1on>t !epen! on anyone or on anything or on any eBperience6 or (e(oryG the
!epen!ence on the past6 hoe8er pleasant6 only pre8ents the co(pleteness of the
present% Be aare an! let that aareness be intact an! unbroken e8en if it be for a
(inute%
Sleep is essentialG !uring sleep one see(s to touch unknon !epths6 !epths
that the conscious (in! can ne8er touch or eBperience% #hough one (ay not
re(e(ber the eBtraor!inary eBperience of a orl! that is beyon! the conscious or
the unconscious6 it has its effect on the total consciousness of the (in!% Probably
this is not 8ery clear6 but :ust rea! it an! play aroun! it% , feel there are certain
things that can ne8er be (a!e clear% #here are no a!eCuate or!s for the(6 but
ne8ertheless they are there%
Aspecially ith you this is i(portant6 to ha8e a bo!y that ill not be sub:ect
to any illness% &ou (ust easily6 8oluntarily put asi!e all the pleasurable (e(ories
an! i(ages6 so that your (in! is free6 unconta(inate! for the real thing% 1o6
please6 pay attention to hat is ritten% A8ery eBperience6 e8ery thought (ust
en! each !ay6 each (inute6 as it arisesG so that the (in! !oes not put out roots
into the future% #his is really i(portant6 for this is true free!o(% #hus there is no
!epen!ence6 for !epen!ence brings pain6 affecting the physical an! bree!ing
psychological resistance% An! as you sai!6 resistance creates proble(sHto
achie8e6 to beco(e perfect6 an! so on% ,n seeking is in8ol8e! struggle6 effort6
en!ea8orG this en!ea8or6 this struggle6 in8ariably en!s in frustrationH, ant
so(ething or , ant to be so(ethingHin the 8ery process of getting there is the
cra8ing for the (ore6 an! the (ore is ne8er in sight an! so there is alays a sense
of being tharte!% So there is pain% So once again one turns to another for( of
fulfill(ent6 ith its ine8itable conseCuence% #he i(plication of struggle6 of
effort6 is 8ast6 an! hy !oes one seek5 =hy !oes the (in! e8erlastingly seek an!
hat (akes it seek5 1o you kno or are you aare that you are seeking5 ,f you
are6 the ob:ect of your search 8aries fro( perio! to perio!% 1o you see the
significance of search6 ith its frustrations an! pain5 #hat in the fin!ing of
so(ething that is 8ery gratifying there is stagnation6 ith its :oys an! fears6 ith
its progress an! beco(ing5 ,f you are aare that you are seeking6 is it possible
for the (in! not to seek5 An! if the (in! !oes not seek6 hat>s the i((e!iate6
actual reaction of a (in! that !oes not seek5
Play ith this6 fin! outG !on>t force anything6 !on>t let the (in! coerce itself
into any particular eBperience6 for then it ill bree! for itself illusion%
, sa so(eone ho is !ying% /o frightene! e are of !eathG hat e are
frightene! of is li8ingG e !o not kno ho to li8eG e kno sorro an! !eath is
only the final sorro% =e !i8i!e life6 as li8ing an! !ying% #hen there (ust be the
ache of !eath6 ith its separation6 loneliness6 isolation% 4ife an! !eath are one
(o8e(ent6 not isolate! states% 4i8ing is !ying6 !ying to e8erything6 to be reborn
e8ery !ay% #his is not a theoretical state(ent but to be li8e! an! to be
eBperience!% ,t is ill6 this constant !esire to be6 that co(pletely !estroys the
si(ple being%$ #his being$ is totally !ifferent fro( the sleep of satisfaction6
fulfill(ent6 or the conclusions of reason% #his being is unaare of the self% A
!rug6 an interest6 an absorption6 a co(plete i!entification$ can bring about a
!esire! state6 hich is still self*consciousness% #rue being is the cessation of the
ill% Play aroun! ith these thoughts an! eBperi(ent happily%
,t is a clou!less (orning6 8ery early6 the sky is so pure6 gentle an! blue% All
the clou!s see( to ha8e gone6 but they (ay co(e up again !uring the !ay% After
this col!6 this in! an! this rain6 spring ill burst forth againG spring has been
gently going on6 in spite of the col! in!s6 but no e8ery leaf an! bu! ill
re:oice% =hat a lo8ely thing the earth isQ /o beautiful are the things that co(e
out of itHthe rocks6 the strea(s6 the trees6 the grass6 the floers6 the en!less
things that she pro!ucesHonly (an grie8es6 he alone !estroys his on species6
his on kin!G he alone eBploits his neighbor6 he tyranniDes an! !estroys% /e is
the (ost unhappy an! (ost suffering6 the (ost in8enti8e an! the conCueror of
ti(e an! space% But ith all their capacities6 in spite of his lo8ely te(ples an!
churches6 (osCues an! cathe!rals6 he li8es in his on !arkness% /is go!s are his
on fears an! his lo8es are his on hates% =hat a (ar8elous orl! e coul!
(ake of it6 ithout these ars6 ithout these fears% But hat is the use of
speculationG it>s no use at all%
#he real thing is (an>s !iscontent6 the ine8itable !iscontent% ,t is a precious
thing6 a :eel of great orth% But one>s afrai! of it6 one !issipates it6 uses it or
allos it to be use! to bring about certain results% 3an is frightene! of it6 but it is
a precious :eel6 ithout 8alue% 4i8e ith it6 atch it !ay after !ay6 ithout
interfering ith its (o8e(ents6 then it is as a fla(e burning aay all the !ross6
lea8ing that hich is ho(eless an! (easureless% ?ea! all this isely%
#he rich (an has (ore than enough an! the poor (an goes hungry6 looking
for foo! an! struggling an! orking all his life% -ne ho has nothing (akes of
his life or allos life to (ake itself rich6 creati8e6 an! another ho has all the
things of this orl!6 !issipates an! ithers aay% ;i8e one (an a piece of earth6
he (akes it beautiful6 pro!ucti8e6 an! another neglects it an! allos it to !ie6 as
he hi(self !ies% =e ha8e such infinite capacities6 in e8ery !irection6 to fin! the
na(eless or to bring about hell on earth% But so(eho6 (an prefers to bree!
hatre! an! en(ity% ,t is so (uch easier to hate6 to be en8ious6 an! as society is
base! on the !e(an! for the (ore6 hu(an beings slip into e8ery for( of
acCuisiti8eness% An! so there is e8erlasting struggle6 hich is :ustifie! an! (a!e
noble%
#here is the unli(ite! richness of a life ithout struggle6 ithout ill6
ithout choice% But that life is i(possibly !ifficult hen our hole culture is the
outco(e of struggle an! the action of ill% =ithout the action of ill6 for al(ost
e8eryone li8ing6 there is !eath% =ithout so(e kin! of a(bition6 for al(ost
e8eryone6 life has no (eaning%
#here is a life ithout ill6 ithout choice% #his life co(es into being hen
the life of ill co(es to an en!% , hope you !on>t (in! rea!ing all thisG if you
!on>t (in! then rea! it an! listen to it ith pleasure%
#he sun is atte(pting to break through the clou!s6 probably it ill (anage to
break !uring the !ay% -ne !ay it is spring an! the neBt !ay it is al(ost inter%
#he eather represents (an>s (oo!s6 up an! !on6 !arkness an! te(porary
light% &ou kno6 it is strange ho e ant free!o( an! e !o e8erything to
ensla8e oursel8es% =e lose all our initiati8e% =e look to others to gui!e us6 to
help us6 to be generous6 to be peacefulG e look to the gurus6 (asters6 sa8iors6
(e!itators% So(eone rites great (usic6 so(eone plays it6 interpreting it in his
on ay an! e listen to it6 en:oying it or criticiDing it% =e are the au!ience
atching the actors6 football players6 or atching the cinescreen% -thers rite
poe(s an! e rea!G others paint an! e gape at the(% =e ha8e nothing6 so e
turn to others to entertain us6 to inspire us6 to gui!e or sa8e us% 3ore an! (ore6
(o!ern ci8iliDation is !estroying us6 e(ptying us of all creati8eness% =e
oursel8es are e(pty inar!ly an! e look to others to be enriche! an! so our
neighbor takes a!8antage of this to eBploit6 or e take a!8antage of hi(%
=hen one is aare of the (any i(plications in8ol8e! in looking to others6
that 8ery free!o( is the beginning of creati8eness% #hat free!o( is true
re8olution an! not the false re8olution of social or econo(ic a!:ust(ents% Such
re8olution is another for( of ensla8e(ent%
-ur (in!s (ake little castles of security% =e ant to be sure of e8erything6
sure of our relationships6 or our fulfill(ents6 hopes6 an! of our futures% =e buil!
these inar! prisons an! oe to anyone that !isturbs us% ,t is strange ho the
(in! is e8er seeking a Done here there ill be no conflict6 no !isturbance% -ur
li8ing is the constant breaking up an! the rebuil!ing6 in !ifferent for(s6 of these
Dones of safety% -ur (in! then beco(es a !ull an! eary thing% 7ree!o(
consists in ha8ing no security of any kin!%
,t is really astonishing to ha8e a still an! a 8ery cal( (in!6 ithout a single
a8e of thought% -f course6 the stillness of a !ea! (in! is not the cal( (in!%
#he (in! is (a!e to be still by the action of ill% But can it e8er be profoun!ly6
right through its hole being6 silent5 ,t is really (ost a(aDing hat happens
hen the (in! is6 thus6 silent% ,n that state all consciousness6 as knoing6
recogniDing ceases% #he instinctual pursuit of the (in!6 (e(ory6 has co(e to an
en!% An! it>s 8ery interesting ho the (in! begins to !o its best to capture that
orl!less state6 through thinking6 8erbalising6 perfecting sy(bols% But for this
process to co(e to an en!6 naturally an! spontaneously6 is like !ying to
e8erything% -ne !oes not ant to !ie6 an! so there is alays an unconscious
struggle going on6 an! this struggle is calle! life% ,t is o!! ho (ost people ant
to i(press others6 by their achie8e(ents6 by their cle8erness6 by their booksHby
any (eans to assert the(sel8es%
/o is e8erything5 Are your !ays sifter than a ea8er>s shuttle5 1o you
li8e in one !ay6 a thousan! years5 ,t is strange6 for (ost people bore!o( is a 8ery
real thingG they (ust be !oing so(ething6 be occupie! ith so(ething6 an
acti8ity6 a book6 the kitchen6 chil!ren6 or ;o!% -therise they are ith
the(sel8es6 hich is 8ery boring% =hen they are ith the(sel8es they get self*
centere!6 crochety6 or beco(e ill an! ill*hu(ore!% An unoccupie! (in!Hnot a
negati8e blank (in!6 but an alert passi8e (in!6 a totally e(pty (in!His a seet
thing6 capable of infinite possibilities% #houghts are eariso(e6 uncreati8e6 an!
rather !ull% A thought (ay be cle8er6 but cle8erness is as a sharp instru(entHit
soon ears itself out6 an! that is hy cle8er people are !ull%
4et there be an unoccupie! (in! ithout !eliberately orking for it% 4et it
happen rather than culti8ate it% ?ea! this ith aareness an! let it take place%
/earing it or rea!ing about the unoccupie! (in! is i(portant6 an! ho you rea!
an! ho you listen%
=hat is i(portant is to ha8e the right kin! of eBercise6 goo! sleep6 an! a !ay
that has significance% But one slips so easily into a routine6 an! then one
functions in the easy pattern of self*satisfaction6 or in the pattern of self*i(pose!
righteousness% All their patterns in8ariably lea! to !eathHa slo ithering aay%
But to ha8e a rich !ay6 in hich there is no co(pulsion6 no fear6 no co(parison6
no conflict6 but to be si(ply aare6 is to be creati8e%
&ou see6 there are rare (o(ents hen e feel this6 but (ost of our life is
(a!e up of ero!ing (e(ories6 frustration6 an! 8ain efforts6 an! the real thing
goes by% #he clou! of !ullness co8ers e8erything an! the real thing fa!es aay% ,t
is really Cuite ar!uous to penetrate through this clou! an! to be in the si(ple
clarity of light% Just see all this an! that is all% 1on>t try to be si(ple% #his trying
only bree!s co(pleBity an! (isery% #he trying is beco(ing an! the beco(ing is
alays !esire6 ith its frustrations%
/o i(portant it is to free oneself fro( all e(otional6 psychological shock6
hich !oes not (ean that one (ust har!en oneself against the (o8e(ent of life%
,t is these shocks that gra!ually buil! up 8arious psychological resistances that
also affect the bo!y6 bringing 8arious for(s of illness% 4ife is a series of e8ents
Mante! an! unante!NG an! as long as e pick6 choose hich e shall keep an!
hich e shall !iscar!6 there (ust ine8itably be a conflict Mof !ualityN hich is
the shock% #hese series of checks har!en the (in!6 heartG it is a self*enclosing
process an! so there is suffering% #o allo the (o8e(ent of life6 ithout choice6
ithout any particular (o8e(ent6 !esirable or un!esirable6 to take root nee!s
enor(ous aareness% ,t is not a (atter of trying to be aare all the ti(e6 hich is
eariso(e6 but seeing the necessity of the truth of aareness6 then you ill see
that the 8ery necessity operates ithout your forcing yourself to be aare%
-ne (ay tra8el6 be e!ucate! in the best of schools6 in !ifferent parts of the
orl!G ha8e the best of foo!s6 instruction6 cli(ateG but !oes all this (ake for
intelligence5 -ne knos of such people6 an! are they intelligent5 #he
Co((unists are trying6 as others6 like the Catholics6 to control an! shape the
(in!% #he 8ery shaping of the (in! !oes ha8e certain ob8ious effectsH(ore
efficiency6 a certain Cuickness an! alertness of (in!Hbut all these !ifferent
capacities !o not (ake intelligence% #he 8ery learne! people6 those ho ha8e
plenty of infor(ation6 knole!ge6 an! those ho are e!ucate! scientifically6 are
they intelligent5 1on>t you think intelligence is so(ething entirely !ifferent5 ,t is
really the total free!o( fro( fear% #hose hose (orality is base! on security6
security in e8ery for(6 are not (oral6 for the !esire for security is the outco(e of
fear% 7ear an! the constraint of fear6 hich e call (orality6 is really not (oral at
all% ,ntelligence is the total free!o( fro( fear6 an! intelligence is not
respectability6 nor is it the 8arious 8irtues culti8ate! through fear% ,n
un!erstan!ing fear there is so(ething hich is holly !ifferent fro( the
for(ulations of the (in!%
,t is goo! to eBperi(ent ith i!entification% /o !o e eBperi(ent ith
anything5 7ro( the (ost si(ple to the (ost co(pleB% =e say this is (ineH(y
san!als6 (y house6 (y fa(ily6 (y ork6 an! (y go!G ith i!entification co(es
the struggle to hol!% Containing it beco(es a habit% Any !isturbance hich (ight
break that habit is pain6 an! then e struggle to o8erco(e that pain% But
i!entification6 the feeling of the (in!6 belongs to so(ething that continues% ,f one
really eBperi(ents ith this6 :ust being aare6 ithout any !esire to alter or
choose6 one !isco8ers so (any astonishing things in oneself% #he (in! is the
past6 the tra!ition6 the (e(ories hich are the foun!ation of i!entification% Can
the (in!6 as e kno it no6 function ithout this process of i!entification5
7in! out6 play ith itG be aare of the (o8e(ents of i!entification ith the
co((on !aily things6 ith the (ost abstract% -ne fin!s out o!! things6 ho
thought fa!es6 ho it plays tricks upon itself%
4et aareness pursue thought through the corri!ors of the (in!6 unco8ering6
ne8er choosing6 e8er pursuing%
,t is especially !ifficult6 as one is place!6 not to !esire6 cra8e for certain
things6 happeningsG not to co(pare% But hate8er the con!ition6 !esires6
cra8ings6 co(parisons continue% =e alays cra8e for (ore or for less6 for
continuity of so(e pleasure an! the a8oi!ance of pain% =hat is really Cuite
interesting is this2 =hy !oes the (in! create a center6 ithin itself6 roun! hich
it (o8es an! has its being5 4ife is a thousan! an! one influences6 innu(erable
pressures6 conscious an! unconscious% A(ong these pressures an! influences6 e
choose so(e an! !iscar! others6 an! so e gra!ually buil! up a center% =e !on>t
let all these pressures an! influences pass by6 unaffecte! by the(% A8ery
influence6 e8ery pressure affects us6 the effect is calle! goo! or ba!6 e !on>t
see( to be able to atch6 to be aare of pressure6 an! not take part in it one ay
or the other6 resisting it or elco(ing it% #his resistance or elco(e (akes for
the center fro( hich e act% Can the (in! not create this center5 #he anser
can only be foun! through eBperi(entation6 not through any for( of assertion or
!enial% So eBperi(ent an! fin! out% =ith the en!ing of this center there is true
free!o(%
-ne !oes get agitate!6 anBious an! so(eti(es frightene!% #hese things !o
happen% #hey are the acci!ents of life% 4ife is a clou!y !ay% ,t as clear an!
sunny the other !ay6 but no it is raining6 clou!y an! col!G this change is the
ine8itable process of li8ing% AnBiety6 fear su!!enly co(es upon oneG there are
causes for it6 hi!!en or fairly ob8ious6 an! one can ith a little aareness fin!
those causes% But hat is i(portant6 is to be aare of these inci!ents or acci!ents
an! not gi8e the( ti(e to take root6 per(anent or te(porary% -ne !oes gi8e root
to these reactions hen the (in! co(paresG it :ustifies6 con!e(ns or accepts%
&ou kno6 one has to be on one>s toes all the ti(e6 inar!ly6 ithout any
tension% #ension arises hen you ant a result6 an! hat arises again creates
tension hich has to be broken% 4et life flo%
,t is so fatally easy to get use! to anything6 to any !isco(fort6 to any
frustration6 to any continue! satisfaction% -ne can a!:ust oneself to any
circu(stances6 to lunacy or to asceticis(% #he (in! likes to function in groo8es6
in habits6 an! this acti8ity is calle! li8ing% =hen one sees this one breaks aay
fro( all this an! tries to lea! a life hich has no (eaning6 no (oorings6 no
interests% ,nterests6 if one>s not 8ery alert6 bring us back to a pattern of life% ,n all
this you ill see the ill6 the !irecti8e6 is functioning6 the ill to be6 to achie8e6
to beco(e an! so on% =ill is the 8ery center of the chooser an! so long as ill
eBists6 the (in! can only fuction in habits6 either self*create! or i(pose!%
7ree!o( fro( ill is the real proble(% -ne can play 8arious tricks upon oneself6
to be free fro( ill6 the center of the (e6 the chooser6 but it ill go on un!er a
!ifferent na(e6 un!er a !ifferent cloak% =hen one sees the real significance of
habit6 of getting use! to thingsG choosing6 na(ing6 pursuing an interest an! so onG
hen there is an aareness of all this6 then the real (iracle takes place6 the
cessation of ill% ABperi(ent ith this6 be aare of all this6 fro( (o(ent to
(o(ent6 ithout any ish to arri8e anyhere%
Southern skies an! northern skies are so eBtraor!inarily !ifferent% /ere6 in
4on!on6 for a change6 there is not a clou! in the ten!er blue sky an! the toering
trees are :ust beginning to sho their green% ,t is spring here6 :ust about
beginning% /ere it is gri(y6 the cheer in the people is not there6 as in the South%
A Cuiet (in!6 but 8ery alert6 atchful6 is a blessingG it is like the earth6 rich
ith i((ense possibilities% =hen there is such a (in!6 not co(paring6 not
con!e(ning6 then only is it possible for the i((easurable richness to be%
1on>t let the s(oke of pettiness s(other you an! let the fire go out% &ou ha8e
to keep going6 tearing aay6 !estroying6 ne8er taking root% 1on>t let any proble(
take root6 finish ith it i((e!iately an! ake up e8ery (orning fresh6 young6
an! innocent%%%
Be ise an! !efinite about your healthG !on>t let e(otion an! senti(ent
interfere ith your health nor belittle your action% #here are too (any influences
an! pressures that constantly shape the (in! an! heart6 be aare of the(6 cut
through the( an! !on>t be a sla8e to the(% #o be a sla8e is to be (e!iocre% Be
aake6 afla(e%
7ace the fear6 in8ite it6 !on>t let it co(e upon you su!!enly6 uneBpecte!ly6 but
face it constantlyG pursue it !iligently an! purposefully% /ope you are ell an!
!on>t be scare! by all thatG probably it can be cure! an! e ill go after it% 1on>t
let it frighten you%
1eeply6 inar!ly6 there (ay be a slo ithering aayG of this you (ay be
unconscious or6 being conscious6 negligent% #he a8e of !eterioration is alays
on the top of us6 it !oes not (atter ho it is% #o be ahea! of it an! (eet it ithout
reaction an! be out of it reCuires great energy% #he energy only co(es hen
there is no conflict hatsoe8er6 conscious or unconscious% Be 8ery aake%
1on>t let proble(s take root% ;o through the( rapi!ly6 cut through the( as
through butter% 1on>t let the( lea8e a (ark6 finish ith the( as they arise% &ou
can>t help ha8ing proble(s6 but finish ith the( i((e!iately%
#here has been a !istinct change in youH!eeper inar! 8itality6 strength an!
clarityHkeep itHlet it functionHgi8e it an opportunity to flo eBtensi8ely an!
!eeply% 1on>t6 hate8er happens6 be s(othere! by circu(stances6 by the fa(ily
Hby your on physical con!ition% Aat properly6 eBercise6 an! !on>t beco(e
slack% /a8ing co(e to a certain state6 keep going6 !on>t stay thereHeither go
forar! or you retrogress% &ou can>t be static% &ou ha8e ri!!en on the inar!
a8e for so (any years6 ith!ran6 inar!6 but no fro( that inar!
(o8e(ent you (ust go outH(eet (ore peopleHeBpan!%
/a8e !one a great !eal of (e!itation an! has been goo!% , hope you are !oing
it tooHbegin by being aare of e8ery thoughtHfeelingHall !ay6 the ner8es an!
the brainHthen beco(e Cuiet6 stillHthis is hat cannot be !one through control
Hthen really begins (e!itation% 1o it ith thoroughness%
=hate8er happens !on>t let the bo!y shape the nature of the (in!Hbe aare
of the bo!y6 eat right6 be by yourself !uring the !ay for so(e hoursH!on>t slip
back an! !on>t be a sla8e to circu(stances% Be tre(en!ousHbe aake%
Part )
Changing /oriDons
196.*1999
CHAPTER 24
People =ho Are ithout
Creati8ity Buil! 1ea!
,nstitutions%$
'rishna:i left ,n!ia in 3arch 196.% -ne perio! of his !ialogue ith the lan! of
his birth an! his frien!s as o8er% /e oul! ne8er be the sa(e again% #he
'rishna:i ho ha! laughe! ith us6 alke! ith us6 been o8erhel(e! by the
beauty of the lan!G ho ha! looke! at the poor an! the rich ith co(passionG
listene! to the 8oice of thousan!sG heale! inar!lyG taken the han! of a frien!
an! le! hi( through the labyrinth of the (in!6 pointing out6 !iscussing6 taking
o8er the bur!ens of pain an! sorroHthis 'rishna:i oul! 8anish% A ne
'rishna:i oul! e(ergeHstern6 i(patient6 Cuestioning% All personal
relationships oul! un!ergo transfor(ation% /e oul! be co(passionate6 but he
oul! also be the teacher6 !e(an!ing ansers to fun!a(ental Cuestions% All
great laughter an! play ha! en!e!%
7ro( Bo(bay he fle to ?o(e% /e as (et by Signora Fan!a Scara8elli%
-n his arri8al 'rishna:i fell seriously first ith fe8er an! then ith an attack of
(u(ps an! ki!ney trouble%
#he !iscontent an! the !istance beteen 'rishna:i an! ?a:agopal an! his
frien!s in -:ai as increasing% A ne group of people 8itally intereste! in
'rishna:i an! the teaching ha! co(e together in Aurope% #he first Saanen
gathering in SitDerlan!6 hich ?a:agopal reluctantly per(itte! to be organiDe!
in 19616 ha! !ran people fro( all parts of the orl!% 'rishna:i sense! a ne
(o8e(ent in the =est6 an! his response to the situation as total%
/e as not to return to ,n!ia in the autu(n of 196.% ,n his talks ith Fi(la
#hakkar at ;staa! an! later in ?o(e6 he ha! spoken of his !eep apprehensions
about ,n!ia% #hat the Chinese attack ha! !istresse! 'rishna:i !eeply as apparent
fro( his letters% /e as orrie! about ,n!ia% After the talks in Saanen6 'rishna:i
as ill again% /e rote to (e of being orn out6 tra8eling6 speaking6 (eeting
people% /is syste(6 the (uscles an! the (e(branes6 nee!e! toning up% So he
!eci!e! not to return to ,n!ia in the inter of 196.6 but to stay on through the
year in ,taly6 resting6 regaining his 8itality6 an! conser8ing his energy% ,n the
tra!itional language of ,n!ia6 he ent into retreat6 generating tapas%
1
'rishna:i returne! to 1elhi on -ctober .16 19606 after eighteen (onths in
Aurope% ,n the car on the ay fro( the airport6 he spoke of not being in contact
ith people% =hile abroa!6 ,n!ia ha! rarely been in his consciousness% -n his
1
Tapas2 se8ere austeritiesG also6 the generation of an energy that !oes not !issipate%
arri8al in ,n!ia6 one sense! that the spontaneous flo of feeling that ,n!ia e8oke!
through the years as (issing% /e see(e! !istant%
3a!ha8achari as in 1elhi6 an! e8ery e8ening e alke! ith 'rishna:i in
the Bu!!ha Jayanti Park% , aske! 'rishna:i hy 8arious people coul! follo his
teaching up to a point an! not further% /e sai!6 #hat is so6$ an! appeare! 8ery
gra8e as he alke! ahea! of usG on his return e carrie! on fro( here e ha!
left the con8ersation% /e felt that (an lacke! an energy that kne no conflictG
energy that kne the !iscipline of attention an! of total !enial% /e sai! it as
necessary to !eny at the 8ery !epths of the self%
1uring later alks he began Cuestioning the fact of 'rishna(urti% /o !i! it
happen5 =hy as the 8acant6 stupi! boy not con!itione! by the #heosophical
Society an! its ritualsG or by life in the =est5 , aske! hi( hether he kne hen
illu(ination took place% /e sai!6 @o% But ho !i! it happen5 ,s it hat the
#heosophists say6 that the bo!y of 'rishna(urti is the 8ehicle of 4or! 3aitreya5
,s it reincarnation5 =hy !i! 'rishna(urti>s (in! ork innocently6 !irectly5
=hy !i! he Cuestion e8erything5$
,n the early 196<s Buck(inster 7uller (et 'rishna:i in ,n!ia% Bucky6$ as his
frien!s calle! hi(6 as a !esigner ho ha! re8olutioniDe! structures an!
!esigne! for a future culture an! ay of lifeG he as at once a philosopher6 a
scientist ith 8ision6 creati8e 8itality6 an! a holistic 8ie of people an! their
nee!s% , kne Bucky ell6 an! he telephone! (e hen he hear! 'rishna:i as in
1elhi to suggest a (eeting ith that (ar8elous6 beautiful6 ise person%$ ,
arrange! a !inner at hich both (en ere present% Bucky entere! the roo(
bouncing a yo*yo% 'rishna:i as shy an! a little ith!ran6 his response in those
!ays hen he (et a for(i!able intellect% Bucky starte! to talk% /e talke! before
!inner6 he talke! at !inner6 he talke! after !inner% 'rishna:i listene!6 har!ly
saying a or!% Still Bucky talke!% After 'rishna:i left to return to 'itty Shi8a
?ao>s house6 here he as staying6 Bucky turne! to (e an! thanke! (e for the
(eeting an! co((ente!6 =hat a (ar8elous6 on!erful6 ise person 'rishna:i
is%$
7ro( 1elhi 'rishna:i ent to ?a:ghat6 Faranasi% Achyut6 ho ha! orke! at
?a:ghat for se8eral years6 spoke to 'rishna:i hile he as there of Finoba Bha8e
an! his ork of Bhoo!an6 the !istribution to the lan!less of gifts of lan!6 in the
8illages of ,n!ia% Achyut felt i((ense sy(pathy for the !irection an! ethos of
Finoba>s orkG to hi( ork for the poor an! oppresse! as integral to a
religious life an! coul! not be separate!% 'rishna:i>s response6 hoe8er6 shook
Achyut !eeply%
'rishna:i sai!6 After all these years6 ho can you be such an ass5 =hy are
you fooling aroun!5 4ook6 (y boy6 if you ere not to ha8e (et (e6 you oul!
be in Osarvodaya6>
1
cleaning the botto(s of 8illage chil!ren% ,t (ay be right to !o
that% But you are not in ?a:ghat to !o that% &ou are self*righteously trying to
change society% But !eep change (ust start ith (an%$
1
$arvodaya2 Sar8a (eans all$G udaya arising% #herefore sarvodaya is the aakening or arising of
hu(ankin!% ,t as a (o8e(ent initiate! by ;an!hi:i to era!icate po8erty in 8illage ,n!ia an! so lea! to a
regeneration of the people of ,n!ia%
Achyut sai! he coul! not un!erstan! hat 'rishna:i as saying% Annie
Besant ha! tol! Achyut6 ,f you !on>t un!erstan! 'rishna:i put hat he says on a
shelf6 but ne8er re:ect hi(%$ Achyut ha! learne! fro( the seer ne8er to say yes to
anything unless he actually percei8e! the truth of it% So he took siB (onths off
fro( his ork in ?a:ghat an! ent to the /i(alayas6 to 4ohaghat6 Pithoragarh6
an! aske! hi(self6 A( , too attache! to 'rishna(urti an! ?a:ghat5$ /e also
eBplore! his (oti8es for ork a(ongst the poor% /e began riting !on his
thoughts e8ery (orning6 an! soon foun! a !irect perception of (in! an! the
(o8e(ent of thought% Perception brought free!o(%
Achyut returne! to ?a:ghat in 196+% #hat inter he (et 'rishna:i again an!
!iscusse! his insoluble conflicts% 'rishna:i sai!6 @othing is happening to you in
?a:ghat6 so you shoul! go% ?a:ghat is not helping you to floer%$ Achyut left
?a:ghat in 196) ithout bitterness% /e ent into retreat6 obser8ing total
anony(ity% /e li8e! in an isolate! house on the outskirts of Bangalore6 an!ere!
fro( place to place6 trying to cut aay at roots%
/is brother6 ?ao Sahib6 as 8ery upset% /e felt Achyut ha! been let !on%
#hirteen years of Achyut>s life ha! been !e!icate! to ?a:ghat an! to 'rishna:i>s
ork6 an! ?ao Sahib felt Achyut ha! co(e aay e(pty*han!e!% ?ao Sahib as
sloly (o8ing aay fro( 'rishna:i% 1eeply !e8ote! to hi( personally6 ith a
passionate6 e(otional response an! a nee! to be near 'rishna:i6 he stubbornly
!enie! hi(self% /e as aare that so(ething ha! aakene! ithin hi(6 but
refuse! to acknole!ge any insight into the teaching% Caught in conflict6 he
ith!re6 ten!e! his roses6 an! refuse! to acknole!ge his confusion% But one
coul! sense the !eep hurt an! pain% #he tensions ere to affect his health6 an! he
!e8elope! high bloo! pressure6 an! heart !isease%
By 1960 'rishna:i as eBpressing a general !issatisfaction ith ,n!ia% /e ha!
starte! asking Cuestions hich ere to persist for (any years% 'rishna:i felt the
nee! for action an! as ruthlessly Cuestioning hi(self an! those aroun! hi(% /e
sai! that he ha! been speaking in ,n!ia for thirty years an! nothing ha!
happene!% #here is not one person ho is li8ing the teaching%$ /e appeare!
i(patient ith the ol! an! felt the nee! for young people aroun! hi(% 'rishna:i
as critical of 3a!ha8achari6 ho as stubborn an! refuse! to change his ays
of functioning% #he circle of people aroun! 'rishna:i as li(ite!% 3a!ha8achari
ran the foun!ation like a sergeant (a:or% 3a!ha8achari6 Achyut6 an! ?ao Sahib
ere increasingly in conflict%
,n 1ece(ber 196+ , as in 3a!ras6 staying at Fasant Fihar% 'rishna:i 8ery
often ha! supper ith us% Achyut Patar!han6 3a!ha8achari6 @an!ini6 an!
Balasun!ara( ere present% ?ao ha! not co(e fro( Poona% A !iscussion began
after supper% , aske!6 =hat is the one action necessary for there to be a
breakthrough in the (in!5 #he eBploration that ha! to be !one6 has been !one%
#here is self*knoing aareness6 the eyes are open6 the ears listen6 the (in! is
aake% &et there is no totality of perception an! co(passion% -ne total action
appears nee!e! to break through%$ 'rishna:i sai! it (ust be so% /e felt it as a
goo! Cuestion an! e shoul! go into it6 !iscuss it%
Again6 the neBt night6 e trie! to !isco8er hat is that one action% 'rishna:i
sai!6 PerceptionHcan perception an! the (o8e(ent of the heart be one5$
Perception that is rich ith essenceHho !oes it arise5$ , aske!%
'rishna:i sai!6 ,t (ust be an act of tre(en!ous si(plicity%$ /e as Cuiet%
#he 8ery !iscussion create! an at(osphere of energy in the roo(% 4ike a fla(e6 it
seare! through the corri!ors of consciousness% #here as !eep6 li(itless silence%
,t as too (uch for the bo!y% =e ha! been sitting straight*backe!6 cross*legge!
aroun! 'rishna:i% 3y bo!y coul! not bear the intensity in the roo( an! sought
the support of the all% 'rishna:i sat erect6 his back straight6 his hea! un(o8ing%
=e sat6 an! ti(e cease!%
,n 19606 a(ongst the (any people ho ha! gathere! at the ?a:ghat ca(p6
as a tall6 rather soli!ly built but goo!*looking young (an na(e! Alain @au!e6
a South African (usician% /e ha! atten!e! 'rishna:i>s talks in Saanen in the
su((er of 1960 an! ha! (et 'rishna:i se8eral ti(es% Soon afterar! he se8ere!
his connection ith South Africa%
@au!e ha! folloe! 'rishna:i to ,n!ia in the inter of 196+ an! 196)6 an!
soon 'rishna:i spoke to so(e of us of the possibility of @au!e taking o8er as his
secretary6 tra8eling ith hi( roun! the orl!6 !ealing ith his correspon!ence6
encouraging young people to listen to 'rishna:i6 an! so forth%
By the autu(n of 196) @au!e :oine! 'rishna:i as his secretary hile
'rishna:i as in AuropeG an! hen 'rishna:i ca(e to ,n!ia in -ctober 196) he
as acco(panie! by 3ary Si(balist6 @au!e6 an! ;eorge Fithoulkas6 a
ho(oeopath fro( ;reece6 ho in later years as to beco(e 8ery ell knon%
'rishna:i as to gi8e talks in 1elhi an! fro( there tra8el to Faranasi%
#he ?a:ghat 8isit pro8e! !isastrous% 'rishna:i ha! ritten to 3a!ha8achari6
an! in his innocence ha! suggeste! that 3a!ha8achari arrange for the stay of
3ary Si(balist6 @au!e6 an! ;eorge Fithoulkas on the ca(pus of ?a:ghat6 as
they ere his personal guests% 3a!ha8achari>s concept of co(fort as
ante!ilu8ian6 an! so ere his aesthetics%
,n ,n!ia the toilet has alays been regar!e! as a focus of pollution% -rtho!oB
/in!us ere eBpecte! to bathe each ti(e they use! the bathroo(% Achyut
Patar!han tol! us that he coul! re(e(ber a ti(e in Faranasi hen Brah(ins
use! to carry an eBtra dhoti ith the( hen they left the house6 an! a bath oul!
follo in case they nee!e! to 8isit a frien!>s facilities% #hrough the years , ha!
re(onstrate! ith 3a!ha8achari about the nee! for (ini(u( a(enities in the
toilet6 but to no a8ail% #o hi( a flush or a ashbasin ere unnecessary luBuriesG a
bucket an! a (etal ater pot ha! sustaine! ,n!ian nee!s for centuries6 an! he
sa no reason to change%
,n the 196<s at ?a:ghat (ini(u( facilities ere a8ailable only in the house
here 'rishna:i li8e!% 3ary Si(balist6 a pro!uct of @e &ork society6 reare! in
the (ost rarifie! of at(ospheres an! use! to luBurious li8ing in the ho(es of her
father an! her husban!6 as put into a roo( here the toilet ha! no flush6 the
bathroo( ha! no basin6 an! the freshly hiteashe! roo( ha! paint splashe! on
the in!o panes% 'rishna:i ha! co(e personally to see the roo(s arrange! for
his guests6 an! there as an eBplosion% /e as horrifie!% 3ary Si(balist (o8e!
to a roo( in 'rishna:i>s house6 but 3a!ha8achari as unruffle!%
#he relationship beteen 'rishna:i an! 3a!ha8achari gre increasingly
!ifficult% ,n years past 'rishna:i>s attitu!e of passi8ity an! his reliance on
3a!ha8achari ha! encourage! aggressi8e ten!encies% /is fiat ran in the
7oun!ation for @e A!ucation% /e refuse! to allo interference or help% #he
gar!en an! house in Fasant Fihar ere neglecte!6 young people ere not
encourage! to (eet 'rishna:i6 an! fe ne people ca(e forar! to teach at the
schools%
Since the 196<s 'rishna:i>s attitu!e to the schools6 people6 an! ork ha!
un!ergone a (a:or change% /e as !e(an!ing a continuous re8olution% /e sa a
rapi! !ecline in ,n!iaG the schools ha! to aaken fro( their lethargy% #he
stagnation he sense! ha! to en!% @o strong current of creati8e change as
8isible% 3o8e6$ he kept saying to the (e(bers of the 7oun!ation an! to the
teachers of the schools% ,f you stay here you are6 you ill !ecline6 gro
crystaliDe!%$ #here ha! to be continuous (o8e(ent ithin oneself an! so in
one>s ork% ,n one of his letters to us he rote6 /a8ing co(e to a certain state6
keep going6 !on>t stay there% Aither go forar! or retrogress% &ou can>t be
static%$ An eBplosion as necessary in 'rishna:i>s institutions6 changes ha! to
take place% ,n ,n!ia the (ountains (o8e hen the energy of a single person is
aake%
, 8isite! 'rishna:i in ;staa! in the su((er of 196)% 'rishna:i ha! been gi8en
a 3erce!es for his use% /e took (e for a !ri8eG in spite of lack of practice6 he
!ro8e roun! the hairpin turns ith a (asterly control an! stability% ,t as
(ar8elous to obser8e hi( han!ling the (achine%
, as again in ;staa! in the su((er of 1966 on (y ay back to ,n!ia fro(
the "nite! States% 'rishna:i spoke to (e of the young people ho ere being
!ran to the talks in the "nite! States% @au!e ha! arrange! for 'rishna:i to
speak at so(e of the great uni8ersities% #he young ere in re8olt against the
eBisting A(erican culture an! ante! instant @ir8ana%$ Alectrifie! by
'rishna:i>s presence6 they flocke! to hear hi(% #hen6 unilling to accept the
austerity an! rigor of self*knoing6 an! !enie! psyche!elic eBperiences of
consciousness6 !rifte! aay to (ore a(enable gurus ho pro(ise! the( bliss% ,n
Saanen6 a large nu(ber of young people initially ca(e to the talksG but it as a
casual cro!6 fe of the( seriously !el8e! into the(sel8es or :oine! 'rishna:i>s
ork% But the Saanen gatherings ere soon to beco(e a (eeting place for
serious people fro( Aastern an! =estern AuropeG people concerne! ith the
enor(ous challenges to hu(ankin! an! ho sought a ne ay of life%
@au!e continue! to acco(pany 'rishna:i on his 8isits to ,n!ia6 an! as ith
hi( in the inter of 1966% Aach 8isit sa a !eterioration in the relationship
beteen 'rishna:i an! 3a!ha8achari6 an! a i!ening of the gulf beteen
'rishna:i an! the ,n!ian foun!ation% 'rishna:i ha! been tol! in Aurope that the
,n!ian foun!ation as supporting ?a:agopal in his stan! against 'rishna:i% #hat
the ,n!ian 7oun!ation as parochial6 narro6 arrogant6 self*satisfie! in its
outlook%
,n ,n!ia6 he continue! to Cuestion sternly% /e ha! been speaking for thirty
years an! hat ha! happene!5 /e refuse! to co(pare it to other countries or
situations% A ne Cuestion ha! e(erge!% =hat ill happen hen , !ie5 =ho is
there to hol! these places5$ #here ere no ansers% An enor(ous pressure as
buil!ing up a(ongst all of us%
#he situation as 8ery strange% #his great teacher6 ho on the platfor( spoke
ith passion about a (in! that kne no conflict6 ho hi(self as free of
pressure6 as posing Cuestions that generate! enor(ous pressures a(ongst his
close associates% ,t as to be so(e years before e ere to un!erstan! the nature
of 'rishna:i>s Cuestion6 an! the energy generate! by !eep listening an! hol!ing
the Cuestion in consciousness%
,n January 1969 a (a:or clash took place at ?ishi Falley beteen Alain
@au!e an! 3a!ha8achari% 'rishna:i as 8ery !isturbe!% /e spoke to (e at
length of his !eep concern ith the ay 3a!ha8achari as running the
7oun!ation% Fasant Fihar in 3a!ras as a !ea! place% #here as little acti8ity6
an! fe people ca(e to rea! or !iscuss% People ho are ithout creati8ity buil!
!ea! institutions6$ he sai!%
#hat inter6 @au!e !i! not acco(pany 'rishna:i to ,n!ia% Since 1960
'rishna:i ha! been ha8ing !iscussions ith 3a!ha8achari6 pointing out to hi(
the (a:or changes that ere necessary in the functioning of the 7oun!ation% -n
reaching 3a!ras in the inter of 19696 he aske! 3a!ha8achari to share the ork
of the 7oun!ation ith ;alloay6 a Scots(an6 ho ha! recently retire! fro( the
chair(anship of Binnys6 one of the (ore i(portant British co(panies operating
in ,n!ia% /e also suggeste! that 3a!ha8achari take the assistance of S(t%
JayalaB(i in (aintaining the gar!en an! the house at Fasant Fihar%
3a!ha8achari>s response as nonco((ittal%
S(t%
1
JayalaB(i6 a South ,n!ian ,yengar Brah(in ith a re(arkable business
acu(en6 especially in real estate6 an! an eCually re(arkable knole!ge of South
,n!ian classical (usic6 ha! begun 8isiting Fasant Fihar in the early 196<s% She
as steepe! in the ,yengar Brah(in tra!ition6 a re! tiak on her forehea!6 she
ore her !eep e(eral! or arakh re! sar"" in the ,yengar style6 !rape! across the
bo!y% She as softspoken6 but tough in her responses an! actions% She oul!
!ri8e 'rishna:i to the beach e8ery e8ening hen he as in Fasant Fihar6 an!
ait in the car hile 'rishna:i ent for his alk on the A!yar beach%
7or us in ,n!ia6 1969 as a year of gloo(% 'rishna:i appeare! agitate! an!
critical% #here as a sense of fluB in his or!sG a feeling as e8i!ent that (a:or
changes ere in the offing% A!!ressing the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation in
Bo(bay on 7ebruary 96 19696 'rishna:i ha! spoken ith passion of his
apprehensions regar!ing the 7oun!ation in ,n!ia% =e ho listene! felt choke!
an! coul! har!ly speak%
1
S(t% is the shortene! for( of srimati or auspicious one%$ ,t is use! as a prefiB to a (arrie! o(an>s
na(e%
'rishna:i sai!6 , ant to say certain things6 an! hat , a( going to say is in
no spirit of criticis( or con!e(nation% , really !o not ha8e6 in (y heart or (in!6
any sense of :u!g(ent% So6 that (ust be clearly un!erstoo! fro( the beginning%
, ha8e been talking no for o8er forty*fi8e years% ?ishi Falley an! ?a:ghat
ca(e into being ith one intention% #hese to places ere to ha8e been the
center of the teachings an!6 if , (ay use the or! ithout being (isun!erstoo!6
holy places% , think it about ti(e e took stock of hat is actually happeningG
hether these to places are the centers of these teachings% An! hether there is
that sense of Ootherness> in these to places%
, ha8e use! an eBpression hich (ay ha8e gi8en rise to (isun!erstan!ing% ,
ha8e sai! that the schools O(ust be sa8e!> as an oasis in this countryG sa8e! fro(
the chaos that is going on all aroun!% Because , really feel (ost profoun!ly an! ,
get rather stirre! up about it6 so forgi8e (e if , speak hesitatingly6 , feel that the
floering6 after all these years6 is still not taking place%
An!6 , (ay ne8er co(e back6 , (ay !ie% ,f , !o co(e back6 as , as telling
3a(a K3a!ha8achariL6 it ill be for a short ti(e6 not for these fi8e (onths at a
ti(e% Physically , cannot !o it any (ore6 because , a( not sleeping 8ery ell an!
, a( getting too tire!%
So6 you ill ha8e to consi!er that , a( gone% Anything can happen% , can
!ie% #he !ecision (ay be taken6 not by anybo!y else but by (e6 alone6 ne8er to
return6 or to return for 8ery short perio!s% , !o not kno hat is going to happen
in the future6 an! , really (ean this%
So6 can these to places be sa8e!5 &ou un!erstan!5 @ot sa8e! fro(
Balasun!ara(6 or so(eone else6 or fro( corruption or things like that6 but sa8e!
as an oasis5
As , as telling 'itty:i this (orning6 an! also Pupul at lunchti(e6 e ha8e
to !o so(ething 8ery 8ery !rastic% , !o not kno hat you are going to !o% 3y
!ays are li(ite!6 probably ten years (ore or less6 an! , ant to concentrate
e8erything , ha8e an! not aste (y energy% , a( speaking sanely6 une(otionally6
not senti(entally%
So6 hat are e going to !o to Osa8e> these places5 Please un!erstan! hat
e (ean by that or! Osa8e%> #o sa8e in the sense of (aking the( KanL oasis in
this (a! orl!% An!6 if , !o not co(e back6 if , !ie6 hat is going to happen5
After forty years6 hat ha8e e pro!uce!5 &ou all ha8e gi8en a great part of
your life to thisHan! hat has happene!5 ,f you say6 Oe are !oing our best> or
Oe are !oing e8erything e can6> then so(eho that is not goo! enough any
(ore% , a( not saying hat you are !oing is right or rong% , !o not feel that
ay6 but hat are e going to !o5$ #here as a long pause%
#he sa(e thing has happene! at -:ai% &ou (ay kno that there is a
!isturbance beteen the '% =% ,% as it is no6 an! (yselfHan! there is trouble%
=e all starte! out together to buil! so(ething !eep6 so(ething lasting6
so(ething orthhile th"r" as ell as h"r"% But there it is not floering either%
So6 hat can e !o here5 =hat can e !o to sa8e these places so that they
beco(e an oasis for these teachings5 /o can e (ake it into so(ething really
orthhile5 , ha8e talke! to 3a(a (any ti(es about this6 for se8eral years6 an!
, say to (yself no6 O=hat are e going to !o5> $
3a!ha8achari as interrupting 'rishna:i ith eBplanations an! eBcuses6 but
'rishna:i as not prepare! to listen to hi(%
, un!erstan! all that you are saying6$ he continue!% =e ha8e !iscusse! this
together se8eral ti(es at ?a:ghat6 at ?ishi Falley% 7or se8en years no6 e ha8e
!iscusse! this% , a( asking hat are e going to !o no5 7orget the past6 forget
that , sai! this an! you sai! that6 forget that Oe are !oing our best%> #he ony
Cuestion is6 O=hat are e going to !o5>
#ake it6 3a(a6 , (ay !ie to(orro6 , !on>t inten! to6 but if , !ie6 hat ill
happen5 =ill you carry on :ust as before5 Put it to yourself6 3a(a%$
3a!ha8achari sai!6 , think hen a great crisis like that co(es%%%$
,t is h"r"6 3a(a%$ 'rishna:i sai!%
-n 'rishna:i>s return to Aurope in early 19686 e hear! that a ne group ha!
for(e! aroun! hi(% 'rishna:i sent a telegra( to 3a!ha8achari6 asking hi( to
han! o8er Fasant Fihar to ;alloay% 3a!ha8achari replie! that although he hel!
a poer of attorney fro( ?a:agopal6 he ha! no legal rights to han! o8er Fasant
Fihar to ;alloay% /e sai! 'rishna:i (ight ha8e the (oral authority6 but the
legal rights reste! ith ?a:agopal% 'rishna:i as 8ery !istresse! ith
3a!ha8achari>s response%
Balasun!ara( as in Paris6 an! soon as to go to Saanen to (eet 'rishna:i%
'itty Shi8a ?ao ha! ritten to 'rishna:i that if 'rishna:i so ishe!6 she oul!
get all the (e(bers of the ,n!ian 7oun!ation to resign% 'rishna:i ha! not
respon!e!%
By the ti(e 'rishna:i (et Balasun!ara(6 a for(al announce(ent ha! been
(a!e at the Saanen gathering6 in hich 'rishna:i state! that he as se8ering all
connections ith '% =% ,% in -:ai6 an! that a ne 7oun!ation as to be for(e! in
Aurope6 to carry on his ork%
By no Brockoo! Park in Anglan! ha! been purchase! an! the
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation as soon to be registere! in Anglan!% Balasun!ara(
foun! 'rishna:i critical of the ,n!ian 7oun!ationG @au!e as present at
'rishna:i>s (eeting ith Balasun!ara(6 taking notes% After so(e !iscussion6 it
as finally !eci!e! that Balasun!ara( oul! be secretary6 an! that , shoul! be
aske! to take o8er as presi!ent of the ,n!ian 7oun!ation%
Balasun!ara( returne! to ,n!ia soon afterar!s% By late August 1968 he an!
, ent to Fasant Fihar an! aske! 3a!ha8achari to han! o8er Fasant Fihar either
to the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation or to S(t% JayalaB(i% 3a!ha8achari
refuse!% /e left Fasant Fihar6 sent back his poer of attorney to ?a:agopal6 an!
han!e! o8er Fasant Fihar to ?a:agopal>s attorneys%
,n -ctober 1968 e recei8e! a letter fro( 'rishna:i hich shook the
7oun!ation to its roots% ,n a language an! style totally alien to 'rishna:i6 he
rote2
3e(bers of the 7oun!ation6
=hen 1r% Balasun!ara( ca(e to ;staa! this su((er6 e spoke at great length about the
necessary changes that ha8e to take place in the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation6 before it can be
associate! ith the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation in Anglan!6 an! thereby linke! to the ork hich
e are !oing throughout the orl!%
3r% an! 3rs% 3oorhea! also ca(e to ;staa! an! e ent o8er the sa(e points ith the(6
an! e ere all 8ery clear as to hat as nee!e!% ,t oul! see( that there is no so(e
(isun!erstan!ing in the 7oun!ation about these points6 an! so e thought it oul! be useful to
put the( !on again%
#he 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation as for(e! in 4on!on on the .8th of August6 this year6 to
!irect an! coor!inate the !iffusion of the teachings throughout the orl!% =e orke! for (any
(onths on the statutes of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation to (ake Cuite sure that it oul! respon!
eBactly to our nee!s6 that no one person or group coul! seiDe control of it no or later6 an! that
it as entirely responsible to (e an! sub:ect to (y ishes%
, oul! like to (ake it clear that the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation is si(ply an office6 si(ply an
efficient instru(ent to !o (aterial things% ,t is not in any ay an organisation$ in the sense in
hich , use that or! so often hen , speak against organisations% ,t is not a psychological
organisation% Belief an! folloing are not in8ol8e!6 nor hierarchy% ,t is si(ply a co((ittee
responsible to (e hich ill see that the teachings6 publishing6 etc% are !iffuse! accor!ing to
(y ishes% ,t is an international co((ittee6 an! the (e(bers on it all feel that they represent
e8ery country an! not si(ply their on country%
,f the ork in ,n!ia an! in particular6 the ork of the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation is to be
associate! ith the ork throughout the orl!6 certain con!itions (ust absolutely be fulfille!%
#his is perhaps not the right occasion to go into a lengthy list of (istakes (a!e in the past6 but
as , ha8e sai! often6 the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation has not functione! as , ishe!6 nor has
it really !one hat , ante! it to !o% #herefore6 e !re up a list of reCuire(ents ith 1r%
Balasun!ara( an! , ha8e seen this list an! prepare! it ith hi( an! others6 an! it is accurate
an! authentic% /e ill sho it to you if he has not alrea!y !one so%
#he (ain thing on it is the absolute necessity that the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation be
co(prise! eBclusi8ely of these people ho !o6 acti8ely an! intensi8ely6 gi8e their ork6 their
energy6 an! their ti(e to the schools6 people ho actually ork at the schools an! !o the :ob%
@o personalities are in8ol8e! in this6 nor is any criticis( inten!e! against anybo!y in particular%
=e feel sure that all those to ho( the teachings (ean so(ething ill i(ple(ent this% ,f
this (eans that they resign6 this too ill be an act of intelligent cooperation%
=ith (uch affection6
J% 'rishna(urti%
An urgent (eeting of the 7oun!ation as calle! by us in ?ishi Falley% ?ao
Sahib Patar!han6 Achyut Patar!han6 an! Sunan!a Patar!han ha! alrea!y
resigne!G their letters ere place! before the (eeting% 3a!ha8achari ten!ere! his
resignation6 an! Balasun!ara( as appointe! secretary along ith his role as
principal of the ?ishi Falley School% 'itty Shi8a ?ao6 unable to bear the pressure
being generate!6 also resigne!6 an! , as electe! presi!ent% Although 'itty Shi8a
?ao an! all the re(aining (e(bers signe! the reply to 'rishna:i6 it as left to
(e to !raft it% ,t as a !ifficult letter to rite% /e as the teacher6 lo8e! an!
e8oking great !e8otion a(ongst all of us% But the challenge his letter pose! left
us ith no alternati8e% ,t as necessary in the light of our intelligence to
co((unicate our lo8e an! yet refuse to be place! in the i(possible situation the
letter !e(an!e!% =e rote2
3y !ear 'rishna:i6
#he 7% @% A% in its (eeting consi!ere! ith !eep gra8ity the points sent by you through 1r%
Balasun!ara( an! 3r% 3oorhea! an! also your letter to the 7oun!ation% ,n keeping ith the
spirit of these points an! as an eBpression of our on !eep concern that the 7% @% A% shoul!
reflect your teachings an! pro8i!e a fitting situation here your teachings can take root an!
floer in the (in!s of the youngG a reorganisation of the structure an! operation of the 7% @% A%
has been e8ol8e! an! accepte!% ,t ill be i(ple(ente!%
7or (any years6 the 7% @% A% has been associate! ith you an! your ork% ,ts (e(bers ha8e
sat ith you6 an! ith :oy an! !e8otion an! attention ha8e listene! to hat you ha8e ha! to say%
#hat they ha8e faile! to put through the teaching in the fiel! of e!ucation is a (easure of their
ina!eCuacy but not of their lack of interest an! !e8otion to you an! the teaching% #he to
places6 ?ishi Falley an! ?a:ghat6 ere set up for the purpose of i(ple(enting your teaching in
the fiel! of e!ucationHthe 7% @% A% has not at any ti(e !e8iate! an! ill not !e8iate6 fro( this
intention%
#here are hoe8er so(e points arising out of your recent co((unications hich ha8e
cause! !eep hurt to the (e(bers of the 7oun!ation% #he i(plication see(s to be that the present
7% @% A% is ina!eCuate to be associate! ith the 7oun!ation set up for your ork6 an! that the
reorganise! 7% @% A% ill ha8e to achie8e so(e gra!e before it can be associate! ith the
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation an! your ork% =ho ill apply this test5
=e eBten! to the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation our cooperation in the ork of the !isse(ination
of your teachings6 a cooperation base! on co(plete eCuality6 ith the 7% @% A% functioning as a
free an! in!epen!ent bo!y% ,n saying this6 e oul! like to eBpress to you once again our !eep
an! una8ering intention to !o hate8er possible to see that these to institutions fulfill the
purpose for hich they ere inten!e!%
=ith affectionate regar!s6
&ours
=e ha! assure! 'rishna:i of our !eep ties ith hi(6 but refuse! to accept the
:u!g(ent of any organiDation on our right to be associate! ith 'rishna(urti>s
ork%
#he links ith the guru ere un!er strain an! a ne relationship ha! to
e(erge% #here as no reply to our letter6 but e ere to soon learn that a
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation ha! been registere! in Anglan! ith 'rishna(urti as
the presi!ent6 an! a 'rishna(urti Center set up in 3a!ras ith S(t% JayalaB(i as
the ,n!ian representati8e of 'rishna:i in ,n!ia6 responsible for 'rishna:i>s ork
throughout the country%
7or (e6 it as a perio! of !eep inar! search% ,n June of that year , ent to
the "nite! States an! ha! ritten an! later telegraphe! to 'rishna:i at
Brockoo! that , oul! like to see hi(% , recei8e! no reply% , passe! through
4on!on en route to the "nite! States6 an! hile in @e &ork hear! fro( frien!s
that 'rishna:i ha! been in 4on!on for a !ay hile , as there% 1eeply hurt6 ,
face! the fact that the guru ha! !isappeare!% 3y !epen!ence on hi( as
re8eale! in the intensity of the pain the inci!ent e8oke!% , face! the fact that the
guru ha! in!ee! !isappeare!% Aban!one!6 in !arkness the see! of the teaching
sustaine! (e% , recei8e! no ansers6 but as , obser8e! relentlessly6 , felt the
(uscle an! tone of (y brain gain resilience an! strengthG still capable of hol!ing
i(possible Cuestions%
As presi!ent of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation ,n!ia , rote to 'rishna:i in late
1ece(ber 19686 in8iting hi( to speak in ,n!ia% /e rote back on January 166
19696 fro( California thanking (e for officially in8iting hi( to ,n!ia% /e aske!
'itty Shi8a ?ao an! (e to be responsible for the talks an! for the bulletin hich
he ante! to be brought out in ,n!ia% /e sai! he oul! be in ,n!ia fro(
1ece(ber 1969 through 7ebruary 199<%
@ot a trace of the letter of 1968 an! its content as to appear in 'rishna:i>s
subseCuent letters% #he letter fro( -:ai as the first , as to recei8e after
Septe(ber 96 1966% -n June . 'rishna:i rote again of the nee! for ,n!ia to raise
fun!s for to return ticketsH@au!e>s an! his fro( Aurope to ,n!iaG -:ai coul!
not sen! any (oney because fun!s ere lo%
#he nes that 'rishna:i ha! se8ere! all connections ith @au!e reache! us in
,n!ia in late August 1969% ,t as a (a:or surprise% ,t as unbelie8able that a fe
(onths earlier6 @au!e coul! ha8e been in co(plete control6 an! yet ha!
!isappeare! fro( the scene ith such i((e!iacy%
, ha! last seen ?ao Sahib in late spring 1969 in Poona6 here he as li8ing%
/e as (ortally ill6 but aite! for (e at the !oor of his houseHearing6 in his
ini(itable ay6 his hite starche! cap at a slant% Seeing (e he s(ile!6 picke! a
pari:ataka floer6 an! ga8e it to (e%
Su!!enly6 toar!s the en! of August6 ?ao Sahib Patar!han suffere! a
se8ere cerebral he(orrhage% Achyut ha! arne! (e of the seriousness of his
illness6 an! , as prepare! for the nes of his i((inent !eath% But , foun!
(yself unable to see hi( in a co(a6 ith tubes stuck into hi(% , kne his
i((ense pri!eG he oul! ha8e been !e8astate! to ha8e been so eBpose!% /e
lingere! for to !ays6 !ying on August .9% , ent to Poona6 reaching the !ay
after his !eath an! cre(ation% /is !eath left (e !esolate% /e ha! been a belo8e!
frien!6 ar(6 affectionateG it as the en! of a precious relationship6 an! ,
(ourne! for hi(% -ne chapter of (y life as o8er%
CHAPTER 25
,t ,s @ecessary to Ask
Euestions to =hich #here
Are @o Ansers%$
=hile , as in Poona , ha! aske! Achyut an! Sunan!a again to re:oin the
7oun!ation% Sunan!a agree!% Achyut6 though he !i! not for(ally :oin6 agree! to
help in e8ery ay%
Achyut6 Sunan!a6 @an!ini6 an! , (et 'rishna:i at the airport in the inter of
1969 hen he arri8e! in 1elhi% ?ao>s absence (a!e the occasion particularly
poignant% 'rishna:i looke! at us an! sai! gra8ely6 So you ha8e not all !eserte!
(e%$
=e hel! !iscussions ith ' on the future of the 7oun!ation for @e
A!ucation an! its relationship ith the 'rishna(urti Center in 3a!ras%
JayalaB(i as ith us in @e 1elhi6 an! here too 'rishna:i hesitate!% ,t as
finally !eci!e! that the 7oun!ation for @e A!ucation oul! be rena(e! the
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation of ,n!ia% #his as neccessary to reflect the nature of
change in the ork% #he 7oun!ation as no longer to be a bo!y concerne! only
ith schools an! other e!ucational institutions6 an! ith hol!ing an! protecting
the lan!6 but oul! take o8er the ork of the sprea! of the teaching% #he change
of !irection oul! !eter(ine change of (e(bership an! function% ,n Anglan!
'rishna:i ha! agree! to be presi!ent of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ationG e strongly
oppose! this in ,n!ia% #o be hea! of a foun!ation as to accept total
responsibility for its functioning6 legally an! (orally% =e felt 'rishna:i as the
great teacher an! shoul! not be so bur!ene!% -ur !iscussions ere inco(plete
an! ere to continue later%
'rishna:i ent to Bo(bay en route to 3a!ras% =hile in Bo(bay he staye! at
/i((at @i8as% -ne night at supper6 at hich @an!ini6 Asit Chan!(al6 an! ,
ere present6 'rishna:i starte! talking about the #heosophical Society an! Annie
Besant% #his as the first ti(e in tenty*one years that he ha! spoken to us at
length of the #heosophical Society%
'rishna:i as eBploring the (ystery that surroun!e! the !isco8ery of the boy6
'rishna(urti% /e as probing !elicately6 tuning the ear to inti(ations an!
insights that (ight arise in !iscussion% /is state(ents on the #heosophical
Society ere clear an! precise% /e (a!e no co((ent as to hether they ere
true or illusion% Sensing the otherness$ in 'rishna:i6 e listene!6 asking fe
Cuestions an! letting hi( speak%
'rishna:i sai! that the 3asters ha! tol! C% =% 4ea!beater to fin! a boy ho
as a Brah(in6 ho ca(e fro( a goo! fa(ily6 an! ho ha! a face as
!escribe!%$ ,t as the !uty of the #heosophical Society to protect the bo!y of the
chil!6 an! to pro8i!e an at(osphere of co(plete security for to years% ,f the
bo!y as prepare! an! rea!y6 4or! 3aitreya oul! gi8e the boy the (in!% =hen
4ea!beater sa 'rishna(urti on A!yar beach6 he percei8e! that there as no
selfishness in the boy>s aura%
'rishna:i aske! hi(self ho it as that the boy re(aine! unaffecte! in spite
of being gi8en e8erything he ante!Hfro( orange :uice to a ?olls ?oyceHan!
in spite of being treate! by the people aroun! hi( in a special ay% @obo!y as
alloe! to sit on his seat6 or touch his tennis racketG tre(en!ous care as taken
to see that the bo!y re(aine! sensiti8e% /e as not alloe! to !rink alcohol or
eat (eat or (eet people ho ere coarse or unrefine!% 'rishna:i then a!8ance!
se8eral theories to eBplain ho the boy re(aine! untouche!% =as it that6 through
birth an! rebirth6 the chil! ha! e8ol8e! to perfection5 -r ha! the 4or! 3aitreya
protecte! the bo!y till it as (ature5 /a! the boy been born ithout a for(al
character or personality6 alloing hi( to re(ain 8ague6 untouche! by his earlier
years ith his father6 the school6 the !octrines of the #heosophical Society6 the
luBury of the life he li8e! in Anglan!5
/e then spoke of the #heosophical Society hierachyHthe highest as the
4or! of the =orl!6$ then the 3ahachohan6 then the Bu!!ha% #he Bo!hisatt8a
3aitreya as consi!ere! eCual to the Bu!!ha% Belo the( ere the 3astersG
each ith a !ifferent na(eHone a #ibetan 4a(a6 another an ,n!ian aristocrat6
another a Polish count%
#he boy6 ho as totally innocent an! unaffecte!6 still ha! to be protecte! so
that e8il coul! not touch hi(6 coul! not enter hi(%
Su!!enly6 in the (i!!le of the con8ersation6 'rishna:i stoppe! speaking% /e
sai!6 =e are speaking of !angerous things% ,t can bring it into the house%$ #he
8oice of 'rishna:i as strange6 his bo!y gathere! itself together% Can you feel it
in the roo(5$ #he roo( as pulsating% Strong forces ere ali8e an! in
(o8e(ent% 'rishna:i as silent for a long ti(e% =hen he starte! speaking again6
the at(osphere in the roo( as transfor(e!G there as silence6 an acti8e Cuality
of goo!ness%
'rishna:i continue!% 3rs% Besant ha! insiste! that to initiates acco(pany
'rishna:i all the ti(e% She sai!6 Since you are alays alone ithin6 you (ust
ne8er be physically alone%$ #here as a reser8oir of the goo! in the boy that
shoul! not be conta(inate!% /e sai! he nee!e! protection e8en in 19696 for his
character as still unfor(e!% #he other night6 hile (e!itating6 , coul! see that
the boy still eBiste! eBactly as he as6 nothing ha! happene! to hi( in life% #he
boy is still as he as% #he bo!y still nee!s to be protecte! fro( e8il%$ /e pause!
again6 an! sai!6 , still feel protecte!%$
/e then spoke of the early years6 hen the boy 'rishna(urti>s bo!y ha! to be
co(pletely protecte! an! gi8en security for to yearsG but the (in! as not to be
touche!6 for the 4or! oul! gi8e hi( the rest%$ #here ere long silences
beteen his sentences% ' sai! the bo!y ha! to go through a lot of pain Mas in -:ai
an! -otaca(un!N because there ere still i(perfections in the brain%
=e then aske! 'rishna:i about the (any un!esirable people ho through the
years ha! co(e aroun! hi(% Asit Chan!(al aske!6 /o !oes the goo! allo
e8il in the for( of a hu(an being to co(e near5$
, can>t push aay anybo!y or anything6$ ' sai!% , can>t say Ogo aay>G it
has to lea8e (e% ,sn>t it strange that it !oes5$ /e then aske!6 =hat is the force
hich co(pletely protects so(ething so that it is innocent an! unaffecte!5 &ou
(ust be eBtre(ely careful if you open the !oorG e8il or goo! can enter% A8il fin!s
it easy to enter6 the goo! (uch (ore !ifficult% A8il is not the opposite of the
goo!6$ he repeate!% #here is no relationship beteen the to%$
'rishna:i then ent on to speak of the initiations he ha! gone through in the
#heosophical Society% Accor!ing to the secret !octrines of the Society there ere
three initiations% After to6 things coul! still go rong% But6 after the thir!6 the
being coul! not be affecte! by anger6 seB6 (oney% #hey ere all too tri8ial%
,t as nearly (i!night before 'rishna:i ent to be!%
7ro( Bo(bay 'rishna:i ent to 3a!ras% ,n his public talks an! !iscussions
there he raise! a fun!a(ental Cuestion2 ,s there such a thing as an in!i8i!ual6 or
is (an (erely a (o8e(ent of the collecti8e5 ,nsights into the nature of the
collecti8e re8eale! that it as (a!e up of tra!ition6 beliefs6 knole!ge6 an! the
eBperience of the book% 'rishna:i sai! that to be an in!i8i!ual6 there ha! to be a
re8olution in the collecti8e as re8eale! in knole!ge an! tra!ition% An! so (an
ha! to !isco8er his on incorruptibility%
,t is necessary to ask Cuestions6$ 'rishna:i sai!% Euestions to hich there
are no ansers% So that the Cuestion thros (an back on hi(self an! the ay the
structure of thought operates% #he han! that seeks to thro aay or re:ect is the
sa(e han! that itself hol!s%$
4ater6 !uring a alk in Bo(bay6 he sai! that the act of seeing an! listening
acti8ates the sense% Seeing6 ithout the or! as thought inter8ening6 creates
energy%$
/e also spoke about the urgency to kno the self as it is6 not as one ishes it
to be6 hich is illusion6 an i!eal an! fictitious% ,t is only that Ohich is> that can
be transfor(e!6 not that hich you ish to be% #he un!erstan!ing of hat you
areHugly6 beautiful6 icke!6 e8ilHun!erstan!ing ithout !istortion is the
beginning of 8irtue% Firtue alone gi8es free!o(%$
'rishna:i>s interest in eBploring the tra!itional ,n!ian approach to liberation
as e8i!ent fro( the autu(n of 199<% /e as in 1elhi6 an! on our alks an! in
!iscussions he spoke of the tenacity of the /in!u (in!6 hich !espite conCuest
an! repression ha! kept ali8e the ancient teachings%
=e talke! o8er the ancient role of the Brah(inG there as arrogance6 e8i!ent
in his refusal to accept (oney for gi8ing knole!ge% /is gift of teaching ha! to
be a free gift% As a Brah(in6 he oul! not accept dakshina6 charity% /e felt he
ha! a right to be supporte! by the state% Po8erty as his birthrightG so as
learning% ,n ti(e this pri!e ha! le! to great Brah(inic arrogance an! corruption
an! ith it !egeneration%
,n!ian (yth !elighte! 'rishna:i% /e often (a!e (e repeat the legen! of
@ara!a6 the se(icelestial (usical (en!icant an! busybo!y ho tra8ele!
ceaselessly6 carrying the gossip of the orl! of the go!s fro( one go! to another%
@ara!a6 anBious to learn the secret of Fishnu>s maya6 ca(e on Fishnu as he
reste! in a gro8e of trees% After the salutations ere o8er6 @ara!a aske! the go!
of the blue aters the secret of his mayaHthe eb of illusion that co8ere! the
orl! of (an an! his actions% Fishnu agree! to teach it6 but tol! @ara!a that as
he as thirsty6 oul! he first fetch hi( so(e ater% @ara!a an!ere! into the
forest seeking a ho(estea!% After so(e ti(e he ca(e to a house an! knocke! at
the !oor% ,t as opene! by a ra8ishingly beautiful young o(an ho s(ile! at
hi( ith her large lotus eyes as she turne! to fetch the ater% @ara!a as
infatuate!6 an! lingere! for !ays in her co(pany%
#i(e passe!% @ara!a (arrie! his lo8e an!6 as year folloe! year6 chil!ren
ere born% @ara!a li8e! in bliss ith his ife an! chil!ren% A year ca(e hen it
raine! incessantly6 the aters of the ri8ers o8erfloe! their banks an! a gigantic
floo! sept aay @ara!a>s house an! the surroun!ing trees% /ol!ing his ife by
one han!6 clutching a chil! ith the other an! ith yet another chil! perche! on
his shoul!er6 @ara!a a!e! through the aters to reach higher groun!% But soon
the aters reache! his chest6 an! then his chin% -ne by one the chil!ren ho
clung to hi( ere sept aay6 until only his ife re(aine!% ,t as night an! the
!arkness a!!e! to the terror that engulfe! hi(G the aters continue! to rise an!
his ife6 unable to hol! on to his ar(6 as separate! fro( hi( an! the aters
clai(e! her% #hen @ara!a6 alone6 lifte! his ar(s an! crie! out to the go!s%
Su!!enly6 a 8oice as hear!% #en (inutes ha8e passe!% =here is (y glass of
ater5$
=e ere (eeting in the ho(e of B% Shi8a ?ao in 4o!i Astate% A8ery (orning
e !iscusse! ,n!ian tra!itional thoughtG #antra6 the aakening of kundaini6
yoga an! energy6 beauty6 perception6 an! the backar!*floing (o8e(ent%$
-ne of the !iscussions as on !eath% Shi8a ?ao as critically ill on the !ay of
the !iscussion6 an! the !octors ere ith hi(% 'rishna:i ha! sat ith hi( for
so(e ti(e6 hol!ing his han!% Shi8a ?ao>s heart as failing6 an! he as not
eBpecte! to sur8i8e%
#hat (orning in the !iscussion 'rishna:i as 8ery serious% =hen e starte!
speaking of !eath6 he sai! that Shi8a ?ao oul! not !ie6 but oul! reco8er%
=ithout attaching (uch significance to his re(ark6 he ent on to say that no one
ha! e8er !ie! un!er the sa(e roof hile he as li8ing in the house% As he as
then se8enty*fi8e years ol!6 the state(ent as staggering%
#he !iscussion on !eath starte! ith a Cuery% #here (ust be a ay of
learning ho to !ie5$
'rishna:i sai!6 =e put !eath beyon! the alls6 beyon! the (o8e(ent of life%
,t is so(ething to a8oi!6 to e8a!e% #he Cuestion is6 =hat is li8ing an! hat is
!ying5 #he to (ust be together6 not separate% =hy ha8e e separate! the to5
Can one learn about li8ing an! so learn about !eath5 4earning is alays in the
acti8e present% "nless the brain percei8es !irectly6 it can ne8er un!erstan!% But
there is nothing to learn% #here is no !eath hen the (in! is free of the knon%
1eath says6 you cannot touch (e6 you cannot play tricks ith (eHthe (in!
is use! to tricksHcar8ing so(ething out of eBperience% 1eath says6 you cannot
eBperience (eH!eath is an original eBperienceHa state , !o not knoH, a(
starkly frightene!%$
#he !iscussions continue!6 an! hen ' ent to 3a!ras another group
gathere! to (eet ith hi(% -ne of the participants as ;eorge Su!arshan6 a
young physicist teaching at Austin "ni8ersity in #eBas% #hey !iscusse!6 in
Su!arshan>s or!s6 the Secon! 4a of #her(o!yna(ics%$ 'rishna:i spoke of
ti(e6 an! of ho the obser8er an! the obser8e! ere one%
#he obser8er separates hi(self through i(ages6 conclusion6 an! so creates
space an! ti(e% #hat is one of the (a:or frag(entations% Can the obser8er look at
Ohat is6> ithout the obser8er6 ho is the (aker of ti(e6 space6 !istance5 #he
obser8er is ti(e%$ ;eorge Su!arshan foun! that he coul! not i((e!iately
connect ith 'rishna:i an! the special (eaning he ga8e to or!s% ;eorge
Su!arshan still ha! to gro fa(iliar ith 'rishna:i>s language6 but he ha! been
!eeply (o8e! by 'rishna:i an! ha! felt an o8erfloing sacre!ness in his
presence%
, ha! a car acci!ent near 3a!ras an! suffere! a cracke! 8ertebra6 so , coul!
not go to ?ishi Falley6 here 'rishna:i as to continue his !iscussions% , as
carrie! by air on a stretcher to Bo(bay6 here , as in be! for three eeks% But ,
insiste! on participating in the Bo(bay !ialogues% =hen 'rishna:i (et (e in
Bo(bay his response to (y acci!ent as totally uneBpecte!% /e caught (e by
the shoul!ers an! shook (e6 saying , ha! no business to be irresponsible ith (y
bo!y% , took a !eep gulp an! gir!e! (yself for our !iscussion6 hich oul!
co8er topics of i((ense !i8ersity an! !epth% #he ay of !ialogue an! the energy
generate! by serious enCuiry as being re8eale!% After to hours of !iscussion6 ,
oul! go to (y be!roo( an! collapse ith pain% 'rishna:i (ust ha8e notice! it6
but (a!e no co((ent%
'rishna:i as happy ith the Cuality of our !ialoguesG he ha! sense! in the(
a ne approach to the teaching% /e took a copy of the( back ith hi( hen he
left ,n!ia6 as he felt that they shoul! for( the basis of his ne book% #he
!ialogues ere correcte! in ,n!ia an! publishe! un!er the title Tradition and
R"voution% ,t as the first (a:or book of 'rishna:i>s !ialogues% #here as a
recognition in the book of the i(portance of !ialogue in aakening the
Cuestioning (in!6 an! an aareness that there ere no ansers to life>s
fun!a(ental proble(s% #here as only aakening of intelligence an! the
constant asking of fun!a(ental Cuestions%
By the spring of 1991 tensions beteen ,n!ia an! Pakistan ha! built up% 4ike
a ti!al a8e6 lean6 !ark*skinne!6 liCui!*eye!6 (en6 o(en6 an! chil!ren refugees
poure! o8er the bor!er fro( Aast Pakistan into =est Bengal% #he sheer eight of
their nu(bers ha! le! to a collapse of all ci8ic a(enities6 an! by -ctober6 ten
(illion refugees ere floo!ing the Aastern countrysi!e% ,t as a !isaster for
,n!ia%
,n June 1991 , ha! gone abroa!% Before lea8ing6 , ha! (et (y ol! frien!
,n!ira ;an!hi% She sai!6 ,f people in the "%S%A% ask you of the situation6 tell
the( that ,n!ira ;an!hi says6 ith all sole(nity6 that in one year there ill not
be a single refugee re(aining on ,n!ian soil%$ #he threat of ar as a reality6 the
situation gri(%
'rishna:i as to ha8e co(e to ,n!ia fro( ?o(e toar!s the en! of -ctober%
But on -ctober 19 he rote fro( Paris that the local nespapers ere full of the
possibility of ar beteen ,n!ia an! Pakistan6 an! he ha! been tol! that ith the
hysteria of ar floo!ing the country he oul! not ha8e the free!o( to speak in
,n!ia% /e aske! us to consi!er seriously hether he shoul! co(e% 4etters fro(
?o(e soon folloe!% ,n a letter !ate! -ctober .8 'rishna:i rote that the
nespapers reporte! that in ,n!ia the s(ell of ar as in the air% /e re(in!e!
(e that6 &ou ha8e6 as you sai!6 taken the responsibility of protecting this bo!y
an! , also ha8e a responsibility toar!s its protection% All this (ay :eopar!iDe the
ork in ,n!ia% So Pupul6 consi!er all this an! a ise !ecision (ust be reache! by
us all%$
, rote hi( a letter6 assuring hi( that e8en if there ere a ar he oul! ha8e
no proble( lea8ing ,n!ia% -n @o8e(ber 06 he rote fro( ?o(e2
%%%ar or no ar6 the situation is this an! , ha8en>t ritten to you before about it as , as
hoping there oul! be a change for the better% A8eKrL since this su((er after ;staa!6 (y bo!y
is getting (ore an! (ore tire!% ,t has reache! a point of eBhaustion% Since , ha8e been here ,
ha8e been 8o(iting e8ery !ay6 little sleep an! spen! (ost of the !ay in be! an! ha! to cancel
to talks here that they ere planning% A!! to this6 the bo!y has beco(e hypersensiti8e% ,t
nee!s total an! co(plete rest% ,f , co(e to ,n!ia in this state6 , a( sure it ill fall ill hich
oul! be no goo! to anyone% 3y teeth ha8e been troubling too% , as hoping 8ery (uch that
things oul! i(pro8e !uring these three eeks in ?o(e but unfortunately it has not6 if anything
(ore orn out% So it is iser that , !on>t co(e to ,n!ia this inter% , a( 8ery sorry not to6 but
there it is6 this bo!y (ust be kept going as long as possible% ,t is6 , feel6 our responsibility%
7ro( here , shall go back to Brockoo! an! then on to California% 3rs% Si(balist is ith
her fa(ily in A(erica% , ha8e to rite to fin! out if she can ha8e (e at 3alibu% , ant to go
so(ehere here the bo!y can be at rest an! Cuietly !isappear%$ , hope you un!erstan!% , ill
keep in touch ith you6 !ear Pupul%
@an!ini an! , ere !eeply concerne! about his health6 an! on @o8e(ber 8
e spoke to hi( on the telephone% Soon ru(ors starte! in ,n!ia that ' as 8ery
ill an! in hospital% =e telephone! to 3alibu6 here ' as resting in 3ary
Si(balist>s house6 an! got a reassuring reply%
,n the autu(n of 1991 , ha! an attack of car!iac insufficiency hile , as in
Bo(bay% ,t as acco(panie! by high bloo! pressure6 an! , as in be! for
se8eral eeks% 3eanhile (y husban!6 ho as in 1elhi6 again fell seriously ill%
/is lungs ere 8ery eak an! he suffere! fro( se8ere e(physe(a% =e took hi(
to Bo(bay for treat(ent6 but his con!ition continue! to !eteriorate% , as
tra8eling constantly beteen @e 1elhi an! Bo(bay%
-n July .06 199.6 his con!ition su!!enly gre critical% #hat night , reste! in
the corri!or outsi!e his roo(% At a little after (i!night , as calle! in% Jayakar
as se(iconsciousG he as speaking6 but one ha! to ben! near to catch his
or!s2 /elp (e6 hol! (y han!6 help (e%$ , !o not kno hether he recogniDe!
(e% , ha! taken his han!% @an!ini ha! co(e into the roo( an! she took the other
han!%
#he bo!y ha! gron still an! the 8oice silent6 but the pressure of his han!
as still there% #he roo( as totally still6 so as the (in!% ,n the enor(ous
silence one felt a presence take o8er6 carrying hi( gently across the threshol!%
Su!!enly6 the han! gre slack% #he orn face lost its look of intense sufferingG
he looke! young6 beautiful6 untouche! by his !isease% =ho as , to (ourn5 3y
!aughter ?a!hika ha! co(e into the roo(% She sa hi( sleeping6$ an! it as a
(o(ent before she realiDe! that !eath as our co(panion% #he silence that ha!
aakene! that night staye! ith (e in the !ays that folloe!% 4ater , ca(e aay
to 1elhi6 an! the Cuietness reste! in (e%
-ne night in -ctober , aoke6 fear eBplo!ing ithin (e% 3y in!o as
open an! in the !arkness , felt a presence aiting outsi!e% , as choke! ith
fear% , put on the light an! staye! up all night6 afrai! to close (y eyesHfor ith
!arkness6 the presence as there% 7or ten !ays this continue!% , oul! fall off to
sleep an! aake to a torrent of fear6 the presence aiting outsi!e in the !arkness%
@o obser8ing ithin as possible% #he intensity of fear as annihilating (eG ,
as a reck an! , coul! not sleep for o8er a fortnight%
'rishna:i ca(e to 1elhi in the autu(n of 199.6 an! , ent to see hi(% /e
aske! (e in great !etail of the (anner of Jayakar>s !eath6 the (o(ent of !eath6
the state of (y (in!% =e talke! of it6 e sat Cuiet ith it6 but after that !ay he
ne8er (entione! the fact of Jayakar>s !eath again% -ne aspect of (y life as
o8er6 , ha! to be free of the past an! (o8e on% 4ater , spoke to hi( of the fear
that ha! aakene! in (e an! as !estroying (e% /e listene! ith gra8ity6 hel!
(y han!6 an! (a!e (e sit silently ith hi(% =e sat for a long hile%
#he !iscussions ha! starte!6 an! one of the !iscussions as on fear% 'rishna:i
sai! fear eBiste! hen there as a feeling of co(plete isolation6 of utter
helplessness% , respon!e! that one coul! !eal ith conscious fears6 e8en allo
the( to floer an! en!% But one appeare! helpless ith unconscious fears6 ith
the pri(e8al !arkness that lay at the root of eBistence%
1oes the unconscious hol! these fears5$ aske! 'rishna:i% 1oes the
unconscious in8ite these fears or !oes it gather the( fro( the en8iron(ent5 Are
they in the inherite! genes5$ he aske!% =hy !o e consi!er the unconscious as
the storehouse of fear5$
7ear is alays there6 it is in a crisis that you beco(e aare of it6$ , sai!%
As !iscussion floe!6 it reflecte! the !ark6 na(eless fears that lurke! as
sha!os in the brain% Sensing this6 'rishna:i aske!6 ,s it that the hole structure
of the cell is frightene! of not being5 ,s fear part of hu(an eBistence5 ,s it part of
the tiniest li8ing thing6 the (inutest cell5 ,f so6 hy shoul! , ha8e to create a
crisis to !eal ith fear5$ #here as silence%
A gesture6 a thought6 a or!6 a look6 a hisper brings about fear% 7ear is
here6 in the ithout an! the ithin%$ As he spoke6 it as there aroun! us an!
ithin us% =hy !on>t e contact fear before the challenge5$ he aske!% ,s the
conscious (in! frightene! to face fear5$ #hen6 sensing the at(osphere an!
seeing the enor(ity of the proble(6 he sai!6 4et us go sloly6 e are tracing a
rocket%$
=hat is reCuire!6$ he sai!6 is real si(plicity6 not analysis% 7ear of not being
is a part of our bloo! cells% ,t is our inheritance% , say it is there un!er the carpet6
lift it an! look% ,t is there% =hen the conscious (in! is aake in itself6 it is not
frightene!% =hy shoul! , be frightene! if fear is part of (y being5$
#here as little e coul! say to contribute to the !iscussion% Su!!enly6 he
spoke% Can the (in! be co(pletely (otionless5 #hen let fear co(e6 let it arise%
=hen the (in! is aake6 hat then is the central root of fear5$ As he spoke6
there ha! been !eep en!ing of the rising spiral of fear% #he brain as still6 so as
the bo!y%
/as this state e8er arisen to you6 Sir5$ , aske!% Again he as silent% Se8eral
ti(es6 (any ti(es6 hen the (in! is co(pletely stable6 ithout any recoil6
neither accepting nor !enying6 nor rationaliDing nor escaping6 hen there is no
(o8e(ent of any kin!% =e ha8e got to the root of it6 ha8e e not5$
, ha! listene!% , ca(e aay seeing that free!o( fro( fear as not in any
action fro( ithin or ithout6 but coul! only be hen the brain as totally still%
#he Cuietness generate! by !ialogue re(aine! ith (e6 an! , slept that night
ithout fear% Cataclys(ic6 pri(e8al fears ha8e not arisen ithin (e since that
!ialogue% #he fe fears that ha8e arisen ha8e been at the surface le8el of
consciousness an! so possible to !eal ith%
,n the !ays that folloe! ' as to speak to (e of the nature of loneliness% ,t
as an eBtraor!inary state of being co(pletely isolate!% ,t as the essence of the
selfHthe (e$ ith its eb of or!s in hich the (in! is caught% /e aske! (e
to face co(plete inar! lonelinessG only in that as there free!o( fro( fear%
#o be free of fear is to be free of ti(e$ he sai!% , recei8e! those or!s an!
hel! the( close%
CHAPTER 26
4o8e 1oes @ot Suffer%$
#he ar ith Pakistan in 1991 an! the for(ation of Bangla!esh ha! been a
trau(atic eBperience for the subcontinent% 'rishna:i6 on seeing us in 199.6 ha!
spoken ith passionate concern about the ar% /e aske! us hy e !i! not
protest strongly against ar6 hich as the ulti(ate act of 8iolenceG hate8er the
circu(stances6 ar coul! not be countenance!% =e trie! to eBplain the presence
of 1< (illion refugees on ,n!ian soil6 the pressure generate!6 an! the proble(s
inherent in the situation% But 'rishna:i oul! not a8er fro( his position%
At his talks an! s(all !iscussions e notice! that his language an! use of
or!s ha! change!% /e as going into the root (eaning of or!s6 !raing clear
!istinctions beteen brain6 (in!6 an! consciousness% ,n one of his talks in 1elhi
he sai! that the brain cells ha! been con!itione! for thousan!s of years6 an! that
unless there as a breakthrough in that con!itioning !isaster as ine8itable% #he
orl! is afire% Can the brain6 the hole hu(an structure6 un!ergo a tre(en!ous
re8olution6 a great (utation5 Can there be a holistic li8ing rather than the
frag(entary5$
#here as a great sa!ness in 'rishna:i% -n @o8e(ber 19 in @e 1elhi6 he
sai! ,t is one of the greatest sorros in the orl! that one ants to con8ey
so(ething tre(en!ous ith one>s heart an! (in! an! you !on>t recei8e it% #hat
is sorro not only to the speaker6 but to you ho listen%$ Sensing the increasing
8iolence that lay in the future6 'rishna:i spoke of (an as being caught in the
corri!or of oppositesHhate an! lo8e6 8iolence an! non8iolence% But the truth
as in hat is6$ hich is 8iolence% /e in8estigate! thought an! its structureG
thought as the past as (e(ory6 thought as ti(e%
@o can the (in!6 the brain cells the(sel8es hich are the pro!uct of ti(e
as e8olutionHcan the brain cells the(sel8es an! the total (in!6 that is the bo!y
the (o8e(ent of !esire6 the (o8e(ent you kno as thought6 the hole thingH
be co(pletely still5 An! it can only be still hen you ha8e un!erstoo! the 8alue
of thought here it is i(portant an! here it is uni(portant% =ithout
un!erstan!ing the structure an! nature of thought you ill not co(e upon this
silence naturally%
An! silence is necessary% =hen you look at a clou! an! the beauty of the
light in that clou!6 if your (in! is chattering6 an!ering6 speculating6
8erbaliDing6 it cannot see the beauty of the clou!% #he (in! (ust be Cuiet an! it
ill be Cuiet hen you ha8e !enie! or put asi!e control6 authorityG all the things
hich (an has put together in or!er to fin! truth or enlighten(ent6 things hich
are the fabrications of (an6 therefore caught in ti(e% An! to fin! that hich is
not of ti(e6 hich has no (easure6 hich is not na(eable6 the (in! (ust be
co(pletely still% #hat (eans can that brainHplease follo thisHthe brain hich
has !e(an!e! absolute security6 otherise it cannot function freely6 effecti8ely
Hcan that brain be co(pletely secure6 so that it can operate ithout friction5
=hen you see that6 then there is clarity in obser8ation an! learning6 hich is
the act of intelligence% ,n obser8ing that hich is false the brain cells beco(e
Cuiet6 an! ith that the (in! naturally6 easily6 seetlyHithout any effortHis
eBtraor!inarily Cuiet% An! in that stillness of (in! there is no ti(e% ,t is not a
Cuestion of6 OCan the (in! sustain or (aintain or continue in that silence5> #hat
Cuestion is a !esire of thought6 hich ants to pursue that silence as pleasure%
,n that silence there is no obser8er6 no eBperience6 but only that Cuality of
co(plete an! total silence% ,n that silence the !oor is open% =hat lies beyon! the
!oor is in!escribable6 it cannot be put into or!s%$
,n the su((er of 1991 , as in the "nite! States% After (y official ork as
o8er6 , spent a holi!ay ith (y !aughter in California% She as to tell (e of a
8ery unusual lecture she ha! hear! in #oronto% #he speaker as ,8an ,llich% /e
ha! been or!aine! into the Jesuit or!er an! ha! spent se8eral years in South
A(erica% 1ifferences ha! arisen beteen hi( an! the church in ?o(e an! he
ha!6 after great tra8ail6 left the Jesuit priesthoo! an! starte! li8ing in 3eBico at
Cuerna8aca% #here6 as he as to eBplain later in ,n!ia6 he establishe! a center6 an
e(pty space here people coul! (eet%
/is #oronto lecture ha! been on 1eschooling Society6$ an! ?a!hika ga8e
(e a copy of the book% ,ts originality an! intensity intrigue! (e6 an! on (y
return to ,n!ia , ga8e the book to ,n!ira ;an!hi% She rea! the book6 thought it
rele8ant to the ,n!ian situation6 an! arrange! for ,llich to be in8ite! to ,n!ia% /e
as to tell (e later that he hesitate! before respon!ing to a go8ern(ent
in8itation6 but ulti(ately agree!% =e ha! a co((on frien!6 1orothy @or(an6
an! he brought (e a letter of intro!uction fro( her%
,llich ca(e to !inner at (y house in 1elhi in the late autu(n of 199.% /e ha!
a re(arkable presence an! , respon!e! eagerly to the challenge of his or!s%
Soon e establishe! a rapport an! beca(e frien!s% ,n!ira ;an!hi ha! aske! (e
to help plan his progra(s an! , ha! suggeste! that he 8isit ?a:ghat an! (eet
'rishna:i%
-n @o8e(ber .96 ,8an ,llich as in ?a:ghat% /e as staying in the roo( o8er
the guest houseG the ri8er ;anga in all its (a:esty lay before it% /e as ha8ing his
(eals ith 'rishna:i an! the first (eeting beteen the to took place in the
afternoon% ,t as a se(inal (eeting of to (in!sG 'rishna:i ith an obser8ing
(in!6 ali8e6 percepti8e6 an! ,8an ,llich6 eru!ite6 rational6 roote! in the finest
tra!itions of =estern thought6 yet prepare! to listen% #he ri8er ;anga listene! to
the !ialogue as it ha! listene! through the centuries to the soun! of 8oices
Cuestioning6 listening an! counterCuestioning%
Although the (in!s of 'rishna:i an! ,llich floe! as to !istinct strea(s6
they ca(e together in their share! passion for transfor(ations an! the nee! to
free (an fro( illusion%
, intro!uce! ,llich to 'rishna:i6 an! spoke of his criticis( of (o!ern society
an! his concern ith restructuring society an! its tools% 'rishna:i an! ,llich
!iscusse! the chaos an! corruption of conte(porary e!ucation in the orl!% ,llich
spoke of his concern ith liberating the in!i8i!ual fro( the illusions about hat
he oe! society% 'rishna:i ha! been listening6 trying to contact the (an behin!
the or!s% Sensing that the (in!s ere not (eeting6 'rishna:i pointe! to the
ri8er% #here lies the ;anga% ,t is floing an! all hu(an beings are being !ri8en
by the flo of the strea(Hsurely the in!i8i!ual is one ho steps out of the
strea(% #he or! Oin!i8i!ual> (eans one ho is not !i8isible6 ho is holeH
not frag(ente!%$
#he ri8er as to beco(e the shifting (etaphor6 aroun! hich the !ialogue
(o8e!G 8oices co(ing together an! (o8ing apart%
,llich too as trying to establish contact an! to feel his ay into the ne
relationship% /e sai! he ha! spent so(e hours on the ri8erbank6 atching people
bathing6 praying6 li8ing in the sa(e ri8er6 belo the burning ghats% /e ha!
itnesse! people co(e out of the ri8er to sit Cuietly on its banks an! ha! felt the
resignation that arose ithin the(6 an acceptance that the ri8er oul! carry the(
aay again6 one !ay% /e (use! on (o!ern technological society to hich ,n!ia
as beco(ing sloly a sla8e an! so losing its touch ith life6 an! the per8a!ing
feeling in the orl! that technology coul! rechannel the ri8er%
But the ri8er coul! not be rechannele!6$ sai! 'rishna:i% =ill it not be the
sa(e ater5 #here is only one action for the hu(an being to step out of the
strea(6 to ne8er go back or for( another strea(%$ ,llich>s response as to Cuote
a poe( fro( 3eBico ritten in the @a8a:o style6 the first line being repeate! an!
(e!itate! upon2
-nly for a short ti(e ha8e you loane! us to each other%
Because it is in your !raing us that e take shape%
,t is in your painting us that e get for(%
,t is in your singing to us that e get 8oice%
But only for a short hile6 ha8e you loane! us to each other%
Because e8en as lines !ran in crystaline obsi!ian !isappear
an! as the green color of the EuetDalcoatal feathers fa!e
an! as the aterfall subsi!es !uring the su((erHso e too !isappear%
-nly for a short hile ha8e you loane! us to each other%
-n the banks of the ;anga6 ,llich ha! itnesse! an affir(ation of life hich
he felt coul! be recreate! in (o!ern ter(s% /e ha! sense! the eight an! !epth
an! roote!ness of a ci8iliDation of hich the ri8er as a sy(bol%
#here as a great anguish in ,llich for the loss of ancient tra!itions% 3o!ern
(an6 in!ustrial (an6 hose 8alues ha! been institutionaliDe!6 felt that he coul!
take people fro( the ol! strea( an! insert the( into a ne strea(% But the
strea( into hich he hope! to place people as a lifeless one% ,t as illusory an!
abstract% #hat as the great corruption% /e spoke about (o!ern e!ucation hich
trie! to create a ne consciousness6 the illusion that you can step out of the ri8er
of tra!ition6 to create a ne kin! of currentG a current that oul! create a ne
hu(anity%
7or 'rishna:i6 the ri8er sy(boliDe! all tra!itions6 (o!ern as ell as ancient%
#o hi( tra!itions6 hoe8er noble6 hoe8er ancient6 con!itione! (an% ,f , ha! a
son6 for , feel they are (y sons hether in Anglan!6 7rance6 or here6 , oul! feel
responsible to help the( to get out of these to strea(s or those see(ingly
running parallel to each other%$ =as it not necessary6 he aske!6 for young people
to be free of all strea(s5
'rishna:i an! ,llich share! a sense that co(passion as essential an! that it
!i! not !e(an! of people that they change into this or that%$ ,llich ha! sense!
the roote!ness of ,n!ian o(en an! re(arke! on it6 an! the !anger of their
losing this contact ith tra!ition an! life% /e felt grateful for his on roots in
certain tra!itions% /e !i! not ant to let go of the great help an! !iscipline that
tra!itions so(eti(es gi8e%
#o 'rishna:i6 hoe8er6 all !iscipline6 control as 8iolence% ,t is only hen
(an felt responsible that he as free6 co(passionate% 7ree!o( an! co(passion
ere one thing% =e ha8e trie! for the last fifty years to see if a fe coul! get out
of the strea(6 get out ithout (oti8e%$ /e spoke of learning as the essential
factor for freeing of (in!6 a learning that creates its on (o(entu(%
Along the ri8erbank6 a !og ha! starte! to bark an! the soun!s of the outer
orl! of Faranasi entere! the roo(%
'rishna:i !e8elope! the the(e of co(passion% /e aske! ,llich hether he sa
that free!o( an! co(passion an! the sense of not belonging ent together% ,llich
sai! yes6 for to belong ga8e people the feeling of poerG not to belong (eant
poerlessness% 'rishna:i felt that to belong ga8e people the sense of changing6
pro!ucing6 acting% Can one say6 4et (e not belong6 an! see hat happens5 3ost
people are Catholics6 Bu!!hists6 /in!us6 an! the tra!ition of that is !estroying
the(%$ ,llich !iscusse! the possibility of setting up encla8es6 co((unities
outsi!e the strea(G but they agree! that historically such co((unities ha8e not
orke!% 'rishna:i spoke of the terrible things happening in the orl!% /e aske!6
=hat can e !o5$ ,llich felt that possibly it as because the orl!>s elite li8e!
on belief in the better$Hbetter e!ucation6 better health% #o hi( the concept of
the better$ as a falsification of consciousness%
&ou see6 Sir6 e are secon!*han! hu(an beingsHall knole!ge is secon!*
han!% #o be free of the secon!*han! is not to belong to a thingHnot to
accu(ulate knole!ge6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,llich aske! hether not accu(ulating knole!ge (eant i((e!iate
eBperience% 'rishna:i set eBperience asi!e% #o hi( eBperience as !angerous%
=hen the (in! is totally aake6 hy !o you nee! eBperience5 #he hole orl!
is concerne! to eBperience6 to acCuire knole!ge6 to be attache! ithin the
strea( an! so to belong%$
But ,llich felt co((itte! to the little strea(s6 those rich tra!itions that ha8e
gi8en for( to hu(an life6 for(s that if per(itte! to beco(e go!s or hierarchies$
coul! be as !estructi8e as other !estructi8e strea(s% ,n that sense of belonging he
as prepare! to be secon!*han!% /e felt a responsibility to help people beco(e
critical an! felt asha(e! of affir(ing a roote!ness in those little tra!itions6 e8en
if it (eant being partially secon!*han!%
=ait6 ait6$ sai! 'rishna:i% 4et us go sloly% -ne belongs to so(ething
because6 in oneself6 one is lonely6 afrai!% #he hole psychological pheno(enon
is going on insi!e the skin6 it (akes one belong to so(ething6 the big strea( or
the little strea( or the latest ashramHthe latest guru% 1o you follo5 -ne goes
back to the church or to Bu!!his( or hate8er% ,t is only hen you see this
inar!ly6 ith clarity6 that you !on>t belong to anything an! therefore you ha8e
re:ecte! all the things that (an has put togetherHi!eationHfor(ulasHconcepts
HbeliefsHbecause they are all part of the strea(%$
'rishna:i turne! to hat for hi( as the central issue% #here has to be right
perception% , oul! like to say to people6 O4ook6 :ust look6 !on>t argue6 !on>t
translate6 !on>t say this is right6 that is rong% 1on>t ask ho shall , li8e6 if ,
!on>t belong% Just lookHha8e an eye that has no corruption in it%> $
,llich>s concern as to sho people hat they coul! not !o% #o 'rishna:i to
kno hat not to !o6 as to !o the right thing%
,llich percei8e! this instantly% A ne (o8e(ent ha! starte!% /e felt
responsible for translating in eBtre(ely luci! ter(s hat they ere talking about
into concrete knole!ge% #o 'rishna:i6 that ca(e later% ,t as first necessary not
to belong to any society6 any nation% #he (in! ha! to eBtricate itself% ,t ha! to be
free to look an! that free!o( as action% #he 8ery seeing as action%
'rishna:i sai! that nationalis( !i8i!es (an% But ,llich>s response to this as
eCually intense% /e again e(phasiDe! the nee! for roots6 hich (eant (uch
(ore than being hel! in nationalis(% 'rishna:i sai! he too ha! roots because he
as born in ,n!ia into the Brah(inical fol!% #hat rootHit (ight be thousan!s of
years ol!Has his con!itioning6 but so long as the (in! as so con!itione! it
as not free% ,t as the past as thought that essentially !i8i!e! (an% #hought as
knole!ge% ,f , ant to li8e ith you in peace6 thought (ust co(e to an en!%
#hat in hich , ha8e (y roots pre8ents (y relationship ith you%$
#o 'rishna:i6 obser8ation ithout the intro!uction of thought as necessaryG
that alone as total action% ,llich sai! he ha! begun to un!erstan!% #he proble(
as one of language% But to hi( the !anger as that the younger generation ha!
lost the capacity to !istinguish an! to !eny the false%
1raing the stran!s of the !iscussion together an! respon!ing to ,llich>s
concern ith roots6 'rishna:i sai!6 =hen , step out of that strea(6 , a( not
frag(ente!Hnot contra!ictoryH, a( holeHthe hole has no root%$
,llich6 hoe8er6 felt the intense nee! for roots6 he as not prepare! to let go%
'rishna:i felt that ithout a solution of this central proble(6 there coul! be no
floering of (an% #he floering ha! to take place% ,llich felt there as little hope
of sol8ing the central proble(% /e as prepare! to accept an! li8e an! !ie ith
so(ething short of perfection% 'rishna:i an! ,llich ha! co(e to a parting of ays%
7or 'rishna:i6 ,llich>s response as not goo! enough% Su!!enly he starte! to
speak of the central issue as an en!ing to suffering% /e coul! not 8isualiDe life as
(eant for perpetual suffering%
#o ,llich6 suffering ha! to be accepte!% =hy5$ aske! 'rishna:i6 Shoul!
hu(an beings suffer psychologically5$
Because ;o! accepte! it6$ sai! ,llich%
'rishna:i as (erciless in his enCuiry% =hy shoul! (an suffer5$ 7or (an to
accept suffering psychologically as the essence of his ignorance% =hy shoul!
hu(an beings suffer5 Because they ere ignorant5 Because they ere in
conflict5 Because they ere contra!ictory in the(sel8es5
,llich as eCually passionate% /e sai! that he belie8e! suffering as the
hu(an con!ition%
Ah6 that>s it6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,llich felt the nee! to recogniDe his con!itioning fully6 luci!ly6 an! sensiti8ely6
an! be shape! by this con!itioning% But 'rishna:i refuse! to accept that sorro
as essential to the hu(an con!ition%
#he to (in!s ere face to face% ,llich aske!6 =hat !oes co(passion then
(ean5$
4ike a rush of ater ca(e the reply% Co(passion (eans passion for allG lo8e6
Sir6 !oes not suffer%$
#hey parte!% As e alke! silently to his roo(6 ,llich plucke! a :as(ine
floer an! ga8e it to (e% ,t as an eloCuent gesture% #he neBt !ay he as to (eet
'rishna:i again6 but , as not present%
CHAPTER 27
#he -bser8er
,s the -bser8e!%$
,n June 1990 the first international (eeting of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation as
hel! at Brockoo! Park% Achyut6 Sunan!a6 Balasun!ara(6 an! , represente!
,n!ia% =hile intro!ucing us to the (e(bers fro( the A(erican an! the Anglish
7oun!ations6 'rishna:i sai! of Achyut6 /o shall , intro!uce Achyut5 /e as
one of the people responsible for !ri8ing the British out of ,n!ia%$
=e !iscusse! the Cuestion of copyright an! publications% #here as a (a:or
!ifference of opinion here the copyright shoul! 8est% "lti(ately6 it as !eci!e!
that hile the copyright continue! ith the Anglish 7oun!ation6 the ,n!ian
7oun!ation oul! ha8e the right to publish fro( 'rishna:i>s talks an!
!iscussions in ,n!ia6 as ell as bring out an international publication once in
three years%
'rishna:i ha! no possessions sa8e his clothes an! his atch% /oe8er6 he ha!
in!icate! in his ill that his bo!y after his !eath shoul! be cre(ate! here8er he
!ie!6 an! no (onu(ent built o8er his ashes% At this point6 seeing the sa!ness on
our faces6 'rishna:i :oke!6 ,f , !ie in Anglan!6 you can cre(ate (e in O;ol!ers
;reen an! scatter (y ashes there%> $
, felt , as choking% , tol! hi( not to be flippant6 that his bo!y as sacre! an!
no feet shoul! trea! here the ashes of his bo!y ha! fallen% =e shall take the
ashes an! scatter the( in the ri8ers of ,n!ia%$ /e i((e!iately beca(e 8ery
gra8e6 turne! to the others an! affir(e!6 #his bo!y is sacre!%$ ,t as so !eci!e!6
that his ashes be sent to ,n!ia an! oul! ulti(ately flo in the ri8ers to the
ocean%
-n @o8e(ber 196 199+6 'rishna:i arri8e! in @e 1elhi on his ay to
Faranasi% , ha! arrange! for a pass to (eet hi( in the lounge ithin the custo(s
enclosure% , sa the 3aharshi 3ahesh &ogi stan!ing nearbyG he as garlan!e!
an! surroun!e! by his !isciples% Sitting in the lounge aaiting 'rishna:i>s
luggage , aske!6 =as the 3aharshi ith you on the plane5$ 'rishna:i s(ile!%
/e ha! boar!e! the plane at ?o(e6 an! as he alke! to his seat he ha! passe! a
bear!e! figure sitting cross*legge! on a tiger skin% ' 8aguely recogniDe! the
(an6 but he coul! not Cuite place hi(% So(e ti(e later the hostess ha! co(e to
hi( hol!ing a rose an! aske! hether he as J% 'rishna(urti% =hen 'rishna:i
sai! he as6 she ha! han!e! hi( the rose saying that the 3aharshi6 ho as in
the plane6 ha! sent his greetings an! the rose% 'rishna:i con8eye! his thanks% A
fe hours later he ha! gone to the toilet an!6 returning6 ha! passe! the
3aharshi>s seat% #he 3aharshi sprang to his feet% After they ha! fol!e! their
pal(s in namaskaras to each other Mthe tra!itional for( of greeting in ,n!ia
beteen frien!s6 strangers6 young6 or ol! peopleN6 the 3aharshi pointe! to a seat
neBt to hi( an! suggeste! that they talk for a hile% So 'rishna:i sat !on% After
a fe pleasantries6 the 3aharshi sai! that he as going to @epal to announce a
orl! re8olution in consciousness an! suggeste! 'rishna:i acco(pany hi( an!
:oin hi( in his ork6 as together he felt they coul! change hu(anity% 'rishna:i
ha! politely !ecline!6 saying that he ha! a nu(ber of engage(ents an! so begge!
to be forgi8en% 3aharshi ha! continue! to urge hi(6 as he felt that hat he as
!oing as (ore i(portant% #he con8ersation ha! continue! for an hour6 after
hich they parte! an! 'rishna:i returne! to his seat%
,n @o8e(ber 199+ 'rishna:i as again in Faranasi% At a s(all !iscussion
hel! on @o8e(ber 19 in his sitting roo( o8erlooking the ;anga6 , aske!6 Coul!
e i!entify the (ain ele(ents in the teachings5$ =e ha! hear! hi( for tenty*
fi8e years% 3any of us coul! gi8e substance to the hole fiel! of self*knole!ge6
but the Cuestion re(aine!2 =hat is the teaching5$
'rishna:i as taken by surpriseG he as Cuiet6 letting the Cuestion unfol!%
7inally6 he sai!6 , !on>t kno% , can>t put it in a fe or!s6 can ,5 , think the
i!ea of the teaching an! the taught is basically rong6 at least for (e% , think it is
a (atter of sharing rather than being taught6 partaking rather than gi8ing or
recei8ing% An! so6 can e share so(ething hich is not in the fiel! of ti(e6
thought6 an! !irection5 Can e share6 or are e all so con!itione! that e !on>t
kno hat it (eans to share5$
=e then !iscusse! at length the Cuestion of participating6 sharing6 an!
recei8ing% 'rishna:i sai!6 #here is no teacher an! the taught% ,s it a (atter of
co(passion5$
#hen6 as the energy generate! by !ialogue intensifie!6 'rishna:i su!!enly
co((ente!6 &ou ere asking6 Ohat is the teaching5> ?ight5 , say6 the teaching
says6 O=here you are the oth"r is not%> $
=e listene!6 the (in! silent ith the purity of '>s insight% #hen the ripples of
thought starte! again% =e !iscusse! the Cuality of listening an! the (aturing of
the (in!%
=oul! you say6$ ' aske!6 that the (in! (ust be free fro( any (o8e(ent
as accu(ulation6 as knole!ge6 as !irection6 as ill5 3o8e(ent i(plies ti(e%
#i(e is (o8e(ent% , a( askingHis ti(e necessary to see5 -r6 is it not
necessary5 #hen ho !oes a (in!6 the hole structure of the (in!6 hich is
e8ol8e! through ti(e6 see that hich is not of ti(e5 &ou see the para!oB5$ he
Cuerie!% So can you !ie to all the things you ha8e acCuire!Hpleasure6 pain6
hurt5$
1o you go through that eBercise5$ , aske!%
-f course not% #hose eBercises6 practices are tri8ial% #he (in!6 the brain6 is
e8ol8e! through ti(e% ,t is recor!e! in ti(e% Can that (in! see that hich is not
ti(e5 -b8iously not% #hen6 hat is it that percei8es so(ething hich is not of
ti(e5 7in! out%$
So(e !ays later e hel! the first of the !iscussions ith the Bu!!hists%
A(ongst the group that ha! gathere! as ?i(poche Sa(!hong% A %hikshuk
M(onkN fro( #ibet6 cla! in re! ochre6 ith a gra8e !e(eanor an! an ageless face6
he as the !irector of the ,nstitute of #ibetology at Sarnath% Pan!it Jagannath
"pa!hyaya of the Sanskrit "ni8ersity6 a Socialist an! a scholar of @agar:una6
other pan!its fro( the Sanskrit "ni8ersity6 an! 'rishna:i>s co(panions
participate!%
1escribing it later6 ?i(poche Sa(!hong sai! that hen he ha! aske!
'rishna:i a Cuestion6 'rishna:i ha! negate! the Cuestion an! in turn challenge!
the ?i(poche% /e as beil!ere!6 he coul! not co(prehen! 'rishna:i>s
approach% At the en! of the !iscussion6 an! later6 as he hear! 'rishna:i o8er the
years6 the la(a ca(e to realiDe that fun!a(ental Cuestions ha! no ansers6 but
still ha! to be aske!% 'rishna:i6$ he sai!6 ne8er pro8i!es an anser6 ne8er puts
anything into a person% But his challenge touches a ger(inating point ithin6
hich enables the listener to aaken an! for Ohat is> to unfol!%$
?i(poche Sa(!hong sai!6 ,f you feel the co(passion that flos fro(
'rishna:i6 you ill see there is no li(it to hi(% 3ost teachers ha8e a li(ite!
approach6 but 'rishna:i>s approach is ithout li(it%$ /e as !eeply touche! by
'rishna:i6 his presence an! his or!s% #he (ore one has insight an! tries to
touch 'rishna:i6 the further he rece!esG the greater 'rishna:i>s insights% &ou can
ne8er hol! hi(6 ne8er get near hi(% 7or there is no en!6 no li(it to hi(%$
?a:esh 1alal6 a young technocrat ho ha! :ust gra!uate! fro( the ,n!ian
,nstitute of #echnology6 'anpur6 ca(e to ?a:ghat to hear 'rishna:i speak%
Attracte! by the !epth an! rele8ance of 'rishna:i>s teaching6 he as the first of
the young aca!e(ics an! professionals to turn aay fro( a career an! :oin as a
teacher in 'rishna:i>s schools%
'rishna:i>s 8isit to ?a:ghat in @o8e(ber 1996 le! to ?a:esh>s first (eeting
ith hi(% /e ent to 'rishna:i>s roo(6 rather eBcite!6 a little ner8ous at the i!ea
of (eeting the great one%$ 'rishna:i (et hi( at the !oor6 took hi( by the han!6
an! le! hi( to the 8eran!a o8erlooking the ;anga an! the gar!en% #hey sat on a
!i8an6 an! 'rishna:i sai!6 Sir6 please !on>t feel shy%$ /e starte! to ask about
?a:esh>s life6 here he as born6 the house he li8e! in6 his parents6 his school%
/is presence as so reassuring that ?a:esh ra(ble! on6 talking about hi(selfG in
his or!s6 forgetting ho , as talking to% ,t as like talking to so(eone ho
as an inti(ate close frien!% =hen , tol! hi( that in school an! college , ha!
alays playe! ith ob:ects6 people6 i!eas6 nu(bers6 or!s6 an! so on6 he see(e!
to be happy an! sai!6 O#hat is goo!%> $
'rishna:i su!!enly beca(e 8ery Cuiet an! serious% ?a:esh gre acutely
conscious of the silence an! as !eeply affecte! by it% /e beca(e aare of the
sun setting an! the ra!iance of the pink gol! of the ripples in the ater%$ /e
percei8e! the (o8e(ent of the peepul lea8es as the breeDes playe! through the(
an! listene! to the soun! of the peacock>s call% #hey sat about four (inutes
ithout a or!% ?a:esh looke! at 'rishna:i once or tice6 eBpecting hi( to break
the silence6 hich he as fin!ing too (uch to bear% /e as beginning to realiDe
the i((ensity of the person sitting besi!e hi(6 an! the inti(acy hich they ha!
share! ga8e ay to a feeling ithin hi( of i((ense ae% /e sa 'rishna:i as
part of the ri8er6 of the peepul tree an! the bir!s flying o8er it% ,t as the ae
hich you feel hen you are face to face ith so(ething unknonHso(ething
8ery profoun!%$
Su!!enly6 he hear! 'rishna:i>s 8oice% 4ook ?a:esh6 the orl! is in !arkness%
,t is (a!% #he 8iolence you see all aroun! you is craDy% An! these placesH
?a:ghat6 ?ishi Falley6 Brockoo! Park6 an! -:aiHha8e to beco(e centers of
light% #he ol!er people ha8e (esse! e8erything up% #hey ha8e not !one it% An!
the ne people6 young people ha8e to !o it% &ou un!erstan!5 , hope you ha8e not
co(e here to eBperi(ent for a year or to but are co((itte! to this%$ =hen
?a:esh assure! 'rishna:i that this as the only thing that truly an! !eeply
(attere! in his life6 there as a gentle yet enig(atic s(ile on 'rishna:i>s face%
By then it as ti(e for 'rishna:i to go for his alk% 'rishna:i stoo! up
siftly an! ent into his roo( to get his shoes% ?a:esh atche! the ay he stoo!6
sat6 ore his shoes6 cli(be! !on the stairs6 an! alke!% /e sa a 8ery alert
(an6 eighty*one years of ageG by contrast6 ?a:esh coul! not help obser8ing ho
sloppy an! careless he asHan! he as only tenty*three% ?a:esh su!!enly
gre aare of all that he ha! to learn fro( this (an% An! as if he ha! sense!
?a:esh>s thoughts6 'rishna:i sai!6 =e ill (eet (ore often% , ill see that you
are ith us in 3a!ras an! ?ishi Falley%$
#o ?a:esh it as a !onpour of affection an! blessing% /e eBperience! a
Cuiet alertness an! ent back to his roo( 8ery aare of e8erything aroun! hi(H
the roses6 boats on the ri8er6 an! sCuirrels playing ith each other% #he (in! as
(ore ali8e than it ha! e8er been%
,n 1999 'rishna:i as to hol! !iscussions ith the teachers of ?ishi Falley%
?a:esh 1alal participate!% 'rishna:i spoke of the nee! to create trust in the
stu!ent% ?a:esh6 sitting to '>s right6 as particularly attenti8e that !ay% #he
hole Cuestion of the stu!ent ha8ing !eep trust an! confi!ence in the e!ucator
as6 'rishna:i sai!6 central to the process of e!ucation%$ /e kept challenging his
au!ience6 throing proble(s back to the(6 forcing the( to enCuire an! respon!
fro( !epth%
?a:esh tol! (e6 , as alert6 atching an! listening% =hen su!!enly
'rishna:i turne! to (e an! aske!6 O?a:esh6 hat !o you say5> , kept Cuiet6 not
feeling the nee! to respon!% Again6 after fi8e or ten (inutes6 he sai! to the
teahers6 OSirs6 ill you co(e !on fro( your platfor(s an! tell your stu!ents
that you are :ust like the(Hthat you ha8e fears6 :ealousies6 hurts6 an! so on an!
that you !on>t kno hat to !o% #hey ill then see that you are honest an! trust
you% =ill you !o this5> Perhaps , ha! been aiting to hear so(ething (ore
profoun! than this% Also , felt , alrea!y ha! such a relationship ith (y stu!ents%
So6 , spoke out an! (y 8oice as charge! ith e(otion% OSir6 , ha8e !one that%
But6 that is not goo! enough% &ou can>t keep saying , a( confuse! an! ha8e fear%
&ou ha8e to be free of fear6 if the stu!ent is to trust you%> $
?a:esh continue!% /e turne! to (e6 hel! (y han!6 an! sai!6 O?a:esh6 !o it
no%> /is gaDe an! his or!s ere like a noose choking (e% ,t as a strange
eBperience% #he intensity of it stunne! (e an! , coul! not speak% /e i((e!iately
realiDe! it an!6 turning his gaDe aay fro( (e6 began to !iscuss ith other
teachers% But he kept on gently an! affectionately stroking (y han!6 as if to say6
O3y boy6 , un!erstan! hat you ha8e been through%> $
Seeing that ?a:esh as li8ing a life of total abstinence an! chastity6 an!
sensing the tensions that ere arising6 ' spoke to hi( of seB% 'rishna:i sai!6
SeB is like a ten!er floer6 an intense fla(e6 !elicate an! rare% ,t has to be
nurture! an! cherishe!% &ou ha8e to be specially atchful hen it is not
operating as nature inten!e!% #o let seB function freely is to !issipate energyG to
suppress it brutally is to !estroy so(ething !elicate an! intensely beautiful% So
atch it ith ar(th6 nurture it6 let it !isco8er itself an! unfol!Hneither !enying
it nor succu(bing to it%$
'rishna:i kept telling us6 Challenge (e% #ake% &our challenge is not great
enough%$
=e ere in 3a!ras an! he ha! starte! !iscussing the rapi!ity of change that
as taking place in the orl!% ,n the =est6 fro( the (i!!le of the 196<s6 a
reaction against groing (aterialis( an! consu(eris( ha! le! to an i((ense
fer(ent a(ongst the young% An appalling e(ptiness as per(eating all aspects
of life% #he pressure being generate! by the ra8aging of the en8iron(ent an! the
unlocking of the (ysteries of nature an! their reckless use as toys of technology
coul! not be sustaine! by the eBisting resources of young (in!s an! bo!ies% #he
abnor(al as beco(ing the nor(%
4ike a a8e6 confusion an! chaos ere o8ertaking a!olescent boys an! girls6
ho ere in re8olt% Fast nu(bers of these floer chil!ren$ ha! taken to the
roa!G like the fakir or the (en!icant6 they ere the ne barefoot an!erers of the
earth% #hey ho(e! in on ,n!ia6 (eeting fro( all o8er the orl! in @epal6
Faranasi6 ;oa% #hey ere soing the see!s of a ne culture6 hoe8er abnor(al6
seeking to reestablish their co((union ith nature an! (an% #hey sought it in
!rugs6 in (usic6 in yoga6 in seB% Antiar6 antico(petition6 antihypocrisy6 anti the
(ore$ of acCuisiti8e society6 they ere concerne! ith lo8ing an! being%
Stri!ing continents6 e8en in their failures they ha! brought to the hu(an situation
a gentle6 anguishe! inter8al% But they ere a lost generation%
=e !iscusse! the cultural re8olution in China% #he eBperi(ent of (illions of
young people in8a!ing the en8iron(ent ha! been aeso(e% ,t as an action
bereft of all co(passion6 an! the ele(ent of ruthlessness inherent in it as
terrifying% ,t too ha! faile! an! left behin! !isaster an! !estruction%
'rishna:i aske! us hat as happening to the young in ,n!ia% =e tol! hi( of
the @aBalite (o8e(ent% ,t ha! starte! in rural =est Bengal6 but ha! rapi!ly
penetrate! uni8ersities6 !raing into its a(bience the young stu!ent6 the
une(ploye! intellectual6 as ell as boys an! girls fro( affluent fa(ilies in re8olt
against the status Cuo% &oung6 ruthless6 8iolent6 their concerns ere ith the
!estruction of eBisting 8alues an! econo(ic structures% ,ronically6 young
aca!e(ics an! professionals fro( the sa(e (ilieu6 !aDDle! by the eBplosions in
science an! technology an! the unli(ite! opportunities that appeare! on the
=estern horiDon6 ere turning =est6 seeking to share in a see(ingly li(itless pot
of gol!%
,n rural ,n!ia one felt the i((ense in!s of change% Poer as passing into
the han!s of ne caste groups6 the so*calle! backar! ere co(ing to realiDe the
poer of the 8ote% ,n cities a groing corruption as taking o8er%
A general !estructi8e 8iolence6 a frag(entation at all le8els6 an! a groing
lack of sensiti8ity as per(eating the lan!scape of ,n!ia% 'rishna:i sai! he ha!
seen this co(ing% As he tra8ele! roun! the country he notice! the general !ecline
in 8alues an! the ten!ency to shirk responsibility% -ne obser8es this not only in
the nespapers6 but fro( hat is happening aroun! us sociallyG hat is
happening at the periphery of life6 but also fro( hat is happening inar!ly% -ne
sees !isintegration6 o8erpopulation6 callousness6 a groing in!ifference to (an
an! en8iron(ent%$ /is passionate !e(an! for a re8olution in the groun! of the
(in! as unallaye!%
=hile in 3a!ras 'rishna:i6 in his public talks an! !iscussions6 raise! a
fun!a(ental Cuestion2 is there such a thing as an in!i8i!ual6 or is (an (erely a
(o8e(ent of the collecti8e5 ,nsights into the nature of the collecti8e re8eal that
it is (a!e up of tra!ition6 belief6 knole!ge6 an! the eBperience of the book%
'rishna:i sai! that to be an in!i8i!ual6 there has to be a re8olution in the
collecti8e as re8eale! in knole!ge an! tra!itionG an! so (an has to !isco8er his
on incorruptibility%
,t is necessary to ask Cuestions2 Euestions to hich there are no ansers% So
that the Cuestion thros (an on hi(self an! the ay the structure of thought
operates%$
7ro( 3a!ras 'rishna:i ent to Bo(bay% Percei8ing that for (illennia (an
has searche! for free!o( in the outer an! inner6 'rishna:i probe! into the hole
proble( of li8ing6 learning6 an! obser8ing% /e sai!% #o learn is to obser8e an!
to act%$ 4ike the scientist obser8ing through the (icroscope6 he aske! the
au!ience to obser8e6 to atch things as they are6 not tist the( to suit
inclinations or pre:u!ices%$ /e spoke of (an>s Cuest to be free of sorro an!
8iolence%
3an ha! pon!ere! o8er this Cuestion of 8iolence for (illions of yearsH
8iolence as oppose! to peace6 aggression as oppose! to co(passion6 goo!ness as
oppose! to e8il% /u(an beings ha! li8e! ith this Cuestion% =hy5$ he aske!%
=e (ust anser this Cuestion6 not 8erbally6 but in our on hearts6 not eBplain it
aay or :ustify it6 but see that e are not 8iolent6 in our speech6 in our gestures6
in our acti8ity%
,f you obser8e6$ 'rishna:i sai!6 (an lacks a sense of beautyHbeauty as
sensiti8ity not only physically6 but also of the heart an! (in!% #o be sensiti8e is
to be intelligent% Can one be aare of the eBtraor!inary beauty of the earth6 the
richness of a rice fiel!6 the beauty of a face6 of a s(ile6 an! the sa!ness of tears5
=ithout such un!erstan!ing not only the beauty that the eye sees6 but the beauty
of clear unspotte! perception6 (an can ne8er be free of 8iolence% #o un!erstan!
8iolence6 one has to be free of the or!% An! one cannot be free if there is no
sensiti8ity to the beauty of e8erything about you% #here (ust be free!o( to fin!
out hat lo8e is% &ou kno6 the or! free!o( is a !angerous or!% 7ree!o( for
(ost people (eans to !o hat they oul! like to !o6 a free!o( fro( social
restrictions6 social (orality%
7ree!o( fro( so(ething is one thing6 an! free!o( for itself another% -nly
in negation is there free!o(% By learning about !isor!er6 there is or!er% #o learn
about fear an! 8iolence nee!s a 8ery subtle (in!% =ith the !ying is the li8ing%
&ou (ust !ie to yester!ay6 to li8e to!ay6 an! then there is lo8e% &ou ha8e been
gi8en a piece of earth an! hat are you to !o ith that earth5 #o gro plants on
it6 you (ust ha8e energy6 passion6 !ri8e6 intensity% ,f you li8e this ay6 then the
treasure you ha8e !isco8ere! beco(es clear6 8ibrant6 ali8e%
#o li8e in the present is to see in the (icroscope6 not accor!ing to your ish
or (y ish6 to see in the (icroscope ho the past flos through the present an!
eBplo!es into the future% But as long as the (in! is caught in the i(age of the
past6 ho can the heart li8e in the present5 An! lo8e is the present6 not the
to(orro%$
As he spoke6 the (in!6 listening ith great intensity6 as one ith his or!s%
=hat ha8e you !one ith your life5$ he aske!% 1on>t say6 O, a( going to
fulfill neBt life%> #here is only the present6 the beauty of the present6 the richness
of the present% &ou ha8e ha! this life6 this eBtraor!inary thing calle! life in hich
there is sorro6 pleasure6 fear6 guilt an! all the tortures an! the loneliness an!
!espair of life an! the beauty of life% An! hat ha8e you !one ith it5 A life as
gi8en to you6 the (ost precious thing in the orl!6 an! hat ha8e you !one5 &ou
ha8e !istorte! it6 torture! it6 torn it to pieces6 !i8i!e! it6 brought about 8iolence6
!estruction6 hatre!6 li8e! a life ithout lo8e6 ithout co(passion6 ithout
passion%
#he Cuestion is aske! an! the anser lies only in the present6 not in
to(orro or in the past6 hich raises the Cuestion6 hat are you !oing Ono>
ith your life5 An! if you can anser this6 you ill fin! out hat lo8e is%$ #he
passion6 the intensity of his concern as as a breeDe that en8elope! us as e
listene!6 Cuickening the brain cells6 (aking innocent the (in!%
'rishna:i as also hol!ing his s(all group !iscussions% /e aske! us6 /as
religion faile! in ,n!ia5 ,n ,n!ia sannyas6 ashrams6 ha8e beco(e a for( of
religious re8olt% ;o to the (oon6 li8e un!er the sea6 transplant the hu(an heartG
ithout co(passion the proble(s of hu(an eBistence continue% Coul! e
obser8e ith eyes that ha8e ne8er been spotte!6 (a!e narro ith callous
in!ifference5 7or this6 to see the hole6 a !ifferent Cuality of (in! is nee!e!%$
,n the !iscussions e ere eBploring the nature of the obser8er an! his
relationship to the obser8e!6 a central point of '>s teaching% 'rishna:i sai!6 ,n
the 8ery act of obser8ing ob:ects there is the process of na(ing hich clogs
perception% ,n this 8ery act6 the nature of hat is obser8e!6 is un!ergoing
change%$
/e spoke of insight as born of the obser8ing (in!% ,t is hen the (in!6 heart6
bo!y are (a!e one in attention that the !i8ision beteen religious perception an!
scientific truth !isappears% 7ree!o( fro( the knon eBists ithin the brain
cells% =hen groo8es cease to eBist6 the brain is ali8e% ,n this state there is a
physical transfor(ation%$
,n his !iscussions 'rishna:i !enie! his role as teacher an! his listeners as
!isciples% /e spoke of learning6$ a state here the relationship of the teacher
an! the !isciple un!ergoes a total change% 4earning nee!s energy an! intense
curiosity an! a free!o( to eBplore% #his co(es ith obser8ation6 a state in hich
all authority an! all hierarchy in ter(s of the psyche en!s% /e spoke of hi(self as
a (irror in hich the listener sees hi(self6 ith a 8ision that is not !istorte! or
con!itione!%
#he act of learning is the act of li8ing% 4earning is a Cuality of (in!6 an
attitu!e that is (ore i(portant than hat is learnt%$
,n his talks he elaborate! on the !iscussions% Speaking of the brain an! its
nee! for security6 he sai!6 #he brain !e(an!s security an! or!er6 it also
!e(an!s har(ony% =ithout har(ony6 there is no security% /ar(ony (eans
or!er6 an! the brain li8es an! it has li8e! for thousan!s of years in !isor!er6
hich (eans contra!iction% #herefore Kit isL in conflict not only ithin6 but
outar!lyG an! in this conflict6 both inar! an! outar!6 it has foun! so(e kin!
of security% ,t accepts conflict as a ay of life6 an! in that it has foun! security%
#hough it brings great !isor!er6 though it brings !estructi8eness to itself6 it has
accepte! this chaos6 this confusion6 because it !oesn>t kno hat to !o% #hat
brain hich has been con!itione! for (illions of years to accept 8alues that
really bring !isaster to itself is con!itione! that ay6 an! it accepts that
con!itioning an! li8es in that con!itioning as security%
4ook6$ 'rishna:i continue!6 &ou ha8e accepte! nationality6 ha8en>t you5
But if you obser8e6 the security brings ar% =hen you accept nationalis(6 an!
you accept it because you ha8e foun! security in it6 that security is co(pletely
!estroye! because nationalis( in8ariably !i8i!esG an! here there is a !i8ision
there (ust be conflict% So your nationalis(6 in hich the brain has foun!
security6 is bringing about its on !estruction%
-ur brain6 the brain cells6 ha8e the(sel8es been con!itione! for thousan!s
an! (illions of years% An! if there is no breakthrough in this con!itioning6 there
ill alays be !isaster6 there ill alays be sorro6 there ill alays be
confusion6 there ill be no har(ony%
An! the orl! is afire% #he house is burning an! you ha8e to respon! to it
ith a fresh (in!% @ot accor!ing to your on con!itioning% #herefore the
Cuestion is6 can the brain6 can this hole hu(an structure6 un!ergo a tre(en!ous
re8olution6 great (utation6 so that it is a fresh (in!5$ /e pause!%
=atch this 8ery carefully% &ou ha8e taken the i!eal of non8iolence% ,t is one
of those eBtraor!inary tricks you ha8e playe! on yourself an! all the teachers an!
the (ahat(as ha8e taught en!lessly about it% @o atch it6 go into it6 learn about
it6 put your heart an! (in! into it% &ou ant securityG that is the 8ery basis of the
brain% So you seek security in an i!ea or in an i!eal of non8iolence% So there is a
!i8ision beteen 8iolence an! the i!eal6 an! therefore contra!iction6 therefore
hypocrisy6 therefore !isor!er an! pretension% =hen the real thing is 8iolence6 you
are preten!ing there is non8iolence% So the brain cells seek out of this incapacity
to !eal ith 8iolence6 an i!eal6 an! therefore !i8ision follos an! there is
contra!iction an! conflict%
So6 you see there is security only in the truth that life has no security6 but is a
constant (o8e(ent% #hat is the truth6 an! in that truth there is security%
/a8e you learnt5$ he aske!% ,n that learning about truth6 the hole
structure6 the hole response of the brain cells un!ergoes a tre(en!ous change%
,t li8es in a total !i(ension of (o8e(ent6 a hole (o8e(ent6 not a frag(entary
(o8e(ent% -r!er6 hich is har(ony6 has no blueprint% -r!er6 hich is har(ony6
co(es only hen there is free!o( fro( !isor!er% -r!er co(es only hen there
is un!erstan!ing6 learning6 about the !isor!er% An! out of the learning about
!isor!erHnot the learning ho to bring or!er into !isor!er6 hich you can ne8er
!oHout of that learning co(es or!er6 naturally%$
'rishna:i eBplore! the or!s atch6$ obser8e6$ learn%$ ,s the obser8er6
the one that learns6 is he !ifferent fro( the thing he is obser8ing or learning
fro(5 #he fact that there is alays the obser8er an! the obser8e!6 in essence is
!i8ision6 !isor!er% As long as there is the obser8er6 the eBperiencer6 the thinker6
the one ho says O, a( learning> an! !i8i!es hi(self fro( the obser8e!6 the
eBperiencer an! the thing fro( hich he is learning6 as long as there is this
!i8ision6 it ill in8ariably bring about conflict6 as all !i8isions !o6 an! therefore
confusion an! therefore !isor!er%$
#hen he aske! his listeners hether they obser8e !isor!er as an outsi!er
looking in6 or !o they see that there is no obser8er at all5 1o you see that you
are !isor!er5$ /e as speaking ith pauses in beteen% ,f you are the obser8er6
atching the !isor!er in yourself an! roun! about you6 you are separate fro( the
!isor!erG an! therefore you ho are atching6 to bring about or!er6 an! therefore
you are bringing about !isor!er because there is separation%
So ho you look at !isor!er (atters enor(ously% ,f you look at it fro( the
outsi!e as though you are in!epen!ent of it6 as though you ha8e nothing to !o
ith it or as though you are going to bring about or!er6 the Oyou> is a frag(ent of
other frag(ents% ,s the Oyou> ho are looking at !isor!er !ifferent fro( !isor!er5
&ou are part of that !isor!erG otherise you oul!n>t kno itG otherise you
oul!n>t recogniDe !isor!er% &ou are part of that !isor!er6 you the obser8er are
the creator of that !isor!er%
,f you see the truth of it6 you are free% Because it is only the truth6 hich has
nothing to !o ith pleasure or pain6 the learning an! seeing the truth6 MhichN
frees the brain cells fro( their con!itioning6 therefore the brain is then a ne
brain%
1o you see the beauty of this5 &ou kno6 :ust as to see the beauty of a pal(
leaf in the clear sky6 to see it6 not as an obser8er ith all his peculiar knole!ge
an! i(potence6 but to look at it ithout the obser8er6 to see the eBtraor!inary
(o8e(ent of that pal( leafHso in the sa(e ay6 to look is to learn% An! in the
learning is the total (o8e(ent of life in hich there is no frag(entation6 an!
therefore it is a life of great har(ony6 an! har(ony (eans lo8e%$
CHAPTER 28
#he Pebble in the Pon!$
,n 19996 ith the !efeat of ,n!ira ;an!hi6 , ha! resigne! fro( the chair(anships
of se8eral go8ern(ent boar!s an! societies an! returne! fro( 1elhi to Bo(bay6
here , as to li8e in an ol!6 rente! flat on 3alabar /ill% , ha! been acti8ely
orking in (any organiDations since long before in!epen!ence6 an! this as the
first ti(e in thirty*fi8e years that , foun! (yself ith nothing to !o% , as still
presi!ent of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 but , sense! a breath of !iscontent
a(ongst se8eral of (y colleagues%
7ro( early 1998 , gre aare of an ebb of energy ithin (e% #he acuteness
an! altogetherness of (y senses ere blurre! an! losing 8itality% , ha! starte!
riting6 but or!s ca(e ith !ifficulty%
, rote to 'rishna:i in California at 3alibu6 here he as staying% /is reply
as i((e!iate%
3y !earest Pupul6
Since you ha8e ritten about yourself6 (ay , point out certain things an! , hope you on>t
(in!%
, !on>t think it>s ol! age that !eteriorates the (in! but you ha8e ha! (any psychological
shocks% &ou ha8e been !eeply hurt an! if , (ay point out6 you ha8en>t heale! the(6 seen
beyon! that% Consi!er hat , a( riting seriously%
@o6 you ha8e to beco(e !eeply aare6 not intellectually% Aare of your bo!yG you ha8e
let it goG aare of hat you eat an! ho (uch you eatG eBercise6 etc% #rain that bo!y6 you ha8e
neglecte! itG then its on intelligence ill take o8er%
&ou ha8e6 if , (ay point out6 culti8ate! the intellect6 ith its arrogance an! neglecte! the
other si!e of it hich is lo8e6 co(passion% @aturally6 one cannot an! (ay not culti8ate lo8e but
one (ust be holly aare of this% ,f one (ay point out6 gi8e your co(plete an! therefore
choiceless attention to all this%
-f course6 there>s ol! age6 ith all its troubles but they are nor(al an! natural% But these
shoul! in no ay interfere ith the (in! an! its beautyG though they are interrelate!6 the (in! is
infinite%
Sorry to rite like thisQ , ante! to put it in as fe or!s as possible% &ou ill un!erstan!
all this an! ith hat lo8e one>s riting this% Be ell6 Pupul an! see you fairly soon%
=ith lo8e6
J% '%
'rishna:i arri8e! fro( Anglan! in the late autu(n of 1998% /e tra8ele!
!irectly fro( 1elhi to Faranasi6 acco(panie! by 3ary Si(balist% , folloe! hi(
to ?a:ghat6 Faranasi6 here , as to stay in a s(all cottage on the e!ge of a cliff6
o8erlooking the ;anga% #he ri8er as lo6 re8ealing banks plante! ith brilliant
yello (ustar!% Sunsets an! sunrises intoBicate! the atersG bir!s neste! in the
o8erhanging trees an! soun!s of #ulsi!as>s ?a(ayan$ floate! !on the ri8er%
But the passion that the ri8er ha! aakene! in (e in earlier years as absent%
=hen , talke! ith (y colleagues , again felt a !iscor!ant chor!%
'rishna:i ha! been ar( an! affectionate hen he (et (e6 but ith hi( too ,
felt a !istance% After a fe !ays , ent to see hi(% , as hesitant at first6 but after
so(e ti(e , tol! hi( that , felt , as ageing6 the brain as losing its e!ge an! its
capacity to penetrate an! !el8e% #here ere fe fresh insights% /e as sitting at
so(e !istance fro( (e% 7or so(e ti(e after , spoke6 e sat silently% #hen he
sai!6 , ha8e notice! o8er the last to years that you ha8e not been to see (e%$
, as close to tears% , looke! up an! foun! his eyes (irroring (e% =hen the
brain cells !eteriorate6 they can ne8er be renee!6$ he sai!% =hen a relationship
is broken6 it can ne8er be restore!%$ /e stoppe! speaking6 perhaps listening to (y
unspoken response% #hen he continue!% But a ne cell in the brain has to be
born6 a ne relationship co(e into being% ,n that is the reneal%$ , listene!% #here
as no reaction6 no protest% @ot a thought arose nor the nee! to Cuestion hi(
further% , sat Cuietly6 then ent to (y roo(%
, spoke little !uring those !ays at Faranasi% Soon6 in early 1ece(ber6 , left
Faranasi to go to ?ishi Falley%
3y brain ha! reste!% #here ha! been no i((e!iate clarity or energy6 but the
chaos ithin the brain6 the feeling of an ebbing ti!e6 ha! en!e!% , coul! look
again at treesG obser8e the shape of boul!er against boul!er changing color in the
sun6 listen to the !istant soun!s of chil!ren6 look at the butterflies that sar(e!
o8er il! floers in the 8alleyG but the !istance beteen (y colleagues an! (e
continue!%
-ne (orning , aoke fro( a !eep sleep% 'rishna:i ha! been ill an! as
resting in his roo(% , ent to hi( an! foun! hi( lying in be!% , sai!6 'rishna:i6 ,
ha8e been pon!ering o8er hat you sai! to (e in Faranasi% , ha8e also been
going into (y being presi!ent of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 an! , feel !eeply
fro( the botto( of (y heart that you shoul! be the presi!ent% , oppose! your
being presi!ent since the early 199<s6 as , felt that you oul! ha8e to bear the
responsibilities6 legal an! otherise6 if you ere presi!ent% #his bur!en , felt
shoul! not be place! on you% But , feel no that it oul! be right for you to be
the hea! of '% 7% ,%$
/e close! his eyes6 place! the pal(s of his han!s on his breast6 an! lay silent
for so(e ti(e% &ou feel it fro( the !epths of yourself5$
&es%$
#hen lea8e it alone6 the anser ill co(e6$ he sai!6 his eyes still close!%
4ater6 he gathere! the (e(bers of the 7oun!ation present in ?ishi Falley an!
sai!6 &ester!ay Pupul ca(e to (e an! sai! fro( the botto( of her heart that she
felt ' shoul! be the presi!ent of the '% 7% ,% , ha8e not ansere! but left it6 for in
(y on peculiar ay6 an anser ill co(e%$ But6 he sai!6 he oul! like to (ake
his position clear%
,n 19.8 ' !issol8e! the -r!er of the Star an! sai! all organiDations
con!ition (anG spiritual6 political6 or connecte! ith social refor(G organiDations
!o not bring free!o(% 3an has beco(e (ore an! (ore an organiDe! (an%
=hat shall , !o5$ he aske!% , a( not an organiDation (an% , !o not confor(
to a pattern% So hat is our relationship5 3ust the ' 7oun!ation eBist at all5 #he
schools ha8e taken o8er the 7oun!ations% #he 7oun!ation has not taken o8er the
schools% =hat is the function of the 7oun!ationHare e clearHhy shoul! the
7oun!ation eBist5 ,ts purpose as to hol! the lan!s an! to see the schools keep in
the right !irection%
Pupul:i pointe! out that for years she ha! oppose! (y being the presi!entH,
un!erstoo!% She says that , shoul! no accept an! , ask hat is (y function an!
(y relationship to the hole setup in ,n!iaHan! hat !o you all think is (y
responsibility5 Bear in (in!6 ' !issol8e! all organiDations ith hich he as
connecte!% /e says no organiDations ill help the orl!%$ ?a:esh sai! the
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation in ,n!ia as not an organiDation6 but it as also not a
!irecting force in the right sense%
So if ' beco(es presi!ent6 hat ill happen5 Bearing in (in! that , ill be
in this country only for three (onths% , can>t say carry on an! co(e back an! say6
O,t>s not (o8ing in the right !irection%>
=hat is your relationship ith (e5 1o e trust each other6 that e ill !o
the right thing in all circu(stances5$
, sai! that each one of us ha! a relationship ith 'rishna:i6 an! because of
that e ha! a certain relationship to each other% =e ere responsible to
'rishna:i% But hen 'rishna:i as aay6 e !i! not feel responsible to each
other%
Achyut:i sai!6 =e are responsible to the teaching6 hich is the source%$
, feel his being presi!ent (ight resol8e the i(passe that eBists in the
7oun!ation6$ , sai!% #here are barriers% #he i(passe has to be broken%$
'rishna:i sai!6 Break it% =here !oes ' co(e in5$
=e then !iscusse! the nature of cooperationHto ork together in
cooperation6 not for an i!eal6 not about so(ething6 but si(ply to ork together6
to cooperate% #he !iscussions ere to continue for the neBt to !ays%
After the (eetings , ent to his roo(G (y eyes ere alight6 free of bur!ens% ,
sai! to hi(% 1o you realiDe6 ith (y ceasing to be presi!ent of the 'rishna(urti
7oun!ation ,n!ia6 , a( co(pletely strippe! of e8erything5$
/e sai!6 &es6 , kno6$ an! as silent%
=ithout a or! sai!6 a ne relationship of trust an! a li(itless frien!ship
ith 'rishna:i as born% Speaking to (e of the nature of trust6 he sai!6 ,t is only
possible hen the brain she!s its bur!ens6 is free%$ Soon , as to start riting a
book on 'rishna:i% , spoke to hi( of (y intention6 an! he ha! respon!e! ith
ar(th%
,n connection ith the book , as riting6 one (orning at ?ishi Falley in
1ece(ber 1998 , aske! 'rishna:i hether , coul! eBplore his (in! an! unra8el
the ay it operate!% /e rea!ily agree!% , aske! hi( Cuestions6 he listene! ith
intensity to the Cuestion6 an! out of that intensity the response arose% -ne coul!
feel the strength an! !ensity of the (in! an! the !epth fro( hich he spoke%
, sai!6 , ha8e hear! you for o8er thirty years% &ou say there is no ay to
truth6 no (etho! in8ol8e!% But as , obser8e you6 a certain process has re8eale!
itself% , oul! like to eBplore your (in! because , feel that the probing of your
(in!6 an! the ay it operates6 (ay re8eal the nature of right obser8ation an!
enCuiry% An! that is here e are getting bogge! !on% @o6 ho !o you
recei8e a Cuestion hich is put to you5 Coul! e go into the state of the (in!
that recei8es a Cuestion5$
?ight% /o !oes ' recei8e a Cuestion5 /o !oes '6 hen a Cuestion is put
to hi(6 procee! ith the anser5 , think he oul! say6 first there has to be
innocence% #hat is to say a listening ithout any conclusion6 ithout any barrier
an! because there is no hin!rance6 the (in! is%%% coul! , use the or! e(pty5 #he
(in! is e(pty6 in the sense that in it there are no preconcei8e! ansers6 no
re(e(brance of pre8ious ansers6 an! therefore no further recor!ing of those
ansers%$
, presse! on% @o in that state6 hat is the function of attention5 #here is a
function of attention6 hich is that of searching% ,f attention !oes not search6 hat
happens to the Cuestion5 #he (in! (ay recei8e the Cuestion in e(ptiness6 but
hat actually happens to the Cuestion5 Because you !o respon!%$ , as
challenging hi(%
' ansere!6 =hen a Cuestion is put6 there is a hearing of it6 not only ith
the ear6 but also the hearing of it ithout the usual process of hearing% ,t is like a
see! put into the earth an! the earth then acts upon the see! an! the see! acts
upon the earth an! gra!ually out of that co(es forth a plant6 a floer6 an! so on%
So6 hen a Cuestion is put6 it is hear! ith the ear an! there is also a state in
hich the hearing is not ith the ear an! out of that there is the anser%$
=hen one obser8es you6 one feels that your eyes are participating in the
listening process6$ , sai!% &ou ha8e a listening eye6 if , can so put it% @o6 you
ha8e sai! there is a listening ith the ear an! there is a listening ithout the ear%
,s it that a ne instru(ent has co(e into being5 An instru(ent6 not in the sense
of a physical groth in the brain cells6 but a ne capacity5$ , ha! starte!
probing%
, think so6 Pupul:i% , oul! like to anser this by bringing in another or!6
Oinsight>% ,nsight is a state of (in! in hich there is no re(e(brance6 there is no
conclusion6 there is no sense of anticipation6 there is no Cuality of reaction6 an! a
great !eal (ore is in8ol8e! in that or!% @o hen you ask a Cuestion6 there is a
hearing ith the ear an! there is also a hearing ith the non*ear6 hich (eans the
(in! is in a state hen there is no re(e(brance6 no conclusion6 no pre8ious
recor! of that Cuestion an! therefore there is no reply to that Cuestion accor!ing
to pre8ious (e(ory% #hat not being there6 there is insight into the Cuestion%$
'rishna:i as eBploring his (in!%
1oes the hearing ith the non*ear co(e into being ith the 8ery en!ing of
the process of the (in!5 -r is it so(ething else5$
=hen there is insight of that kin!6 the brain cells the(sel8es un!ergo a
change% =hen there is insight6 that insight transfor(s the brain cells%$ /e as
percei8ing his (in! as he spoke%
&ou ha8e sai! there is hearing ith the ear an! there is a hearing ith the
non*ear6 an! that insight brings about a change in the brain cells% 1oes insight
arise because of the hearing ith the non*ear5 Can you open up this non*ear
hearing5$
4et us see% 7irst there is the hearing ith the ear6 hich e all knoG an! the
hearing ith the non*ear6 hich is a state like that of a tranCuil pon!6 a lake that
is co(pletely Cuiet an! hen you !rop a stone into it6 it (akes little a8es that
!isappear% , think that is the hearing ith the non*ear6 a state here there is
absolute Cuietness of the (in!G an! hen the Cuestion is put into the (in!6 the
response is the a8e6 the little a8e% , !on>t kno if , a( (aking it clear%$
,s the pon! the (atriB of the (in!5$ , aske!%
=hat !o you (ean by (atriB5$
,s it O(in!> only5$
, !on>t Cuite see that6$ sai! 'rishna:i% , ill ha8e to go into it% =hen you
say is it O(in!> only6 hat !o you (ean5$
,s it the totality of hat has been5 &ou ha8e sai! earlier that consciousness is
its content%$
&es%$ 'rishna:i as listening intensely%
#he recei8ing into%%%$
@o ait a (inute% 4ook at it% Consciousness is frag(ente!G an! hen you
put a Cuestion to that frag(entary consciousness6 the anser ill be
frag(entary%$
=hen the Cuestion is put6 an! is recei8e! as in a pool6 is it the totality hich
recei8es5$ By no (y (in! ha! caught the stillness6 an! the Cuestions , aske!
ere arising out of 'rishna:i>s responses%
, think that is really Cuite interesting6 an! e shoul! go into it% Can the (in!
be so eBtraor!inarily recepti8e that it has no barriers an! the past !oes not enter
into it5$
#he past being the frag(ent5$ , sought clarification%
&es6 the past is the frag(ent% An! can the past not co(e into it at all5$
&ou say there is a listening ith an ear an! there is a listening ith the non*
ear% /as that listening the sa(e Cuality as the listening e kno5 -r is it of a
!ifferent nature5$
-f a !ifferent nature6 ob8iously%$
=hat is the !ifference5$ , as pushing%
4istening ith the ear or hearing ith the ear6 an! the response fro( that
listening to a Cuestion ill necessarily be frag(ente!% ?ight5 #hat is ob8ious%
But hen there is a listening ith the non*ear6 that state of listening is not
frag(ente!% 4istening ith the ear i(plies a recor!ing an! a re(e(brance fro(
past knole!ge% ,t is eBperience ansering the Cuestion% ,n the other6 there is no
past in8ol8e! at all% #herefore it is not a frag(entary anser% , think that is
right%$
,s that non*ear listening !ifferent fro( that hich recei8es5$
, !on>t Cuite follo6$ sai! '%
A Cuestion is put6 it is recei8e! ith the ear6 but there is also a non*ear
listening% @o is that non*ear listening6 the sa(e as the state hich recei8es5$
All anchors ithin (e ha! cease!%
&es6 (ust be6 of course% A pon! is absolutely Cuiet6 a Cuestion is !roppe!
into the pon!6 the pon! is pure ater ithout all the pollution that (an has put
into it6 hich is the past% #he pon! is clear6 clean ater6 an! into that ater a
Cuestion is put as a pebble an! the reply is the a8e% , think that is ho it
functions%$
As there is a non*ear listening6 is there also a non*eye seeing5$
&es6$ sai! 'rishna:i% &ou are using the or! Oeye> in the sense of the
8isual6 the optical5 &es%$
Can e go into the nature of that5$
4et us see% #he hearing ith the non*ear an! the seeingHthe 8isual seeing
ithout the past interfering ith the seeingHare the sa(e% #he hearing ithout
the ear an! the seeing6 the 8isual seeing6 the optical seeing6 are both the sa(e%$
'rishna:i as clarifying as he respon!e!% =hat is i(portant is the non*
re(e(brance ithout the past interfering%$
Sir6 tra!ition (aintains that the outar! (o8e(ent of the eye is the
(o8e(ent of na(ing% #he optical (o8e(ent hich turns back6 breaks through
the na(ing process6 breaks the na(ing process6 !issol8es the na(ing process% ,s
that so5$ , as back to (e(ory6 to a process fa(iliar in yoga%
4et us see if , ha8e un!erstoo! the Cuestion rightly% Are you saying there is
the optical 8ision going out an! then the co(ing back fro( the outar!
(o8e(ent to the inner (o8e(ent5$
@o6$ , sai!% #here is the (o8e(ent6 outer6 hich e all kno6 hich is the
(o8e(ent of seeing6 registering6 focusing6 etc% #hen there is for the sadhaka6 that
is for the (an ho is seeing6 a (o8e(ent in hich the 8ery optical seeing is
thron ithin6 breaking the na(ing process6 the !i8isi8e process% ,t is a
backar!*floing (o8e(ent%$
#he forar! (o8e(ent an! the backar! (o8e(ent5$
,t is not the forar! (o8e(ent turning backar!s6 but the optical sense
hich (o8es out6 an! another (o8e(ent in hich it !oes not (o8e out%$
, un!erstan!% ,t is not like a ti!e hich is going out an! co(ing in% #here is
only a going out%$
An! another (o8e(ent altogether6 hich is optically !raing in%$
So that is hat tra!ition says% =hat !o you say5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#he looking*out focuses%$
By looking out6 you (ean the looking at the tree5$
#he looking ithin en!s focusing6 en!s the 8ery instru(ent hich focuses%$
, as trying to re8eal a state of perception%
, (ust un!erstan! this 8ery clearly6$ sai! '% &ou say this looking ithin is
not ith the (o8e(ent of the eye hich looks6 obser8es the eBternal orl!6 but a
looking ithin6 hich is not the ebb of the ti!e% #here is the seeing6 going out
an! the co(ing in% But is this an entirely !ifferent ay of looking inar!s5$
#he looking inar! is not the ti!e6$ , respon!e!%
,s not the ti!e5$
But the looking inar! can be a ti!e%$
-f course% #hat is the !anger of it% #he ti!e goes out an! the ti!e co(es in%$
&ou can look ith the sa(e%%%$
' broke in6 , kno it can be the sa(e ater% =hereas this going out
optically an! the looking ithin are to !ifferent6 entirely !ifferent processes% ,s
that so5 &ou see6 , Cuestion this hole thing% , on!er if there is a looking
ithin% Can e eBplore that5$ /e pause!% 1oes looking ithin i(ply a
(o8e(ent of thought5$
@o6 Sir%$
#hen if there is no (o8e(ent of thought6 then hat !o you (ean by looking
ithin5$ #he instru(ents of enCuiry ere 8ery subtle%
4ooking ithin is the seeing of Othat hich eBists> at a particular instant%
#here is no ithin an! ithout in that state%$
#hat is the hole point% @o let us be 8ery clear% =hat you are saying is that
the outar!*looking an! the inar!*looking are not the ti!e going out an! the
ti!e co(ing in% #he inner*looking is not the reaction to outer*looking% #he
inar!*looking is entirely !ifferent fro( the outer*looking% &ou are saying that
inar!*looking !ispels the hole structure of thought% #hat is hat you are
saying%$ /e pause!% , Cuestion that%$ /e pause! again% , Cuestion hether there
is an inar!*looking at all% 4et us go easy% =ait6 , a( :ust eBploring6 Pupul% , a(
not saying it is so or not so% =hat is it to look inar!5 -ne can look inar!ly
fro( hat you ha8e sai!6 into the hole (o8e(ent of thought% ?ight5 ,s that
inar!*looking5$
, oul! say it is inar!*looking6 because in it there is physical looking%$
&es6 in the outar! seeing%$
An! a nonphysical looking% #hat is6 the looking is physical6 but hat is seen
is nonphysical% #hought is not a thing hich can be seen%$
All thought is a (aterial process6$ 'rishna:i sai! ith precision%
But it cannot be seen%$
&es% But it is a (aterial processHthe re(e(brance6 the recor!ing of
knole!geG all that is a (aterial process%$
&es6 that (ay be so6 but there is a !ifference beteen the state of seeing the
(icrophone an! seeing the flashing (o8e(ent of the (in!%$
But the flashing (o8e(ent of thought is still a (aterial process%$ 'rishna:i
as a!a(ant%
&es6 all right% ,t is a (aterial process% ,s its eBistence in a !i(ension hich
e call the ithin5$
=ithin5 , Cuestion the hole thing%$ A ne ele(ent ha! entere!6 re8ealing
the illusion of outer an! inner%
,t is so(ehere6 Sir%$
&es6 but hy shoul! it be ithin or ithout5$
Because it is not ithout6 it is not so(ething 8isible Oithout%> $
,t is not 8isible as one>s face is 8isible in the (irror% #hought cannot be
percei8e! ith the eye as you percei8e your face in the (irror% So6 is that hich
is not percei8able in the (irror hat you call the inner5$
&et it eBists6$ , sai!%
&es6 but , oul! Cuestion hether it is the inner at all%$
&ou can take aay the or! inner an! substitute another or!%$ , as
forcing the challenge%
@o6 no%$
=here is it5$
, a( going to tell you so(ething% , belie8e the Aski(os6 hen they use the
or! thought6 they (ean so(ething outsi!e%$
&es%$
%%%4ook at it carefully6 look at it% #hink about it%$
, un!erstan!6 Sir% , see hat is so(ething outsi!e% ,t is a physical seeing% #he
nature of thought itself , can ne8er see ith the sa(e optical%%%$
#hat is 8ery si(ple% , can see (y face in the (irror% , cannot see thought in a
(irror% #hat is si(ple%$
=here !o , see thought5 =hat is this Oseeing6> then5$ , aske!%
#hat is it% , !on>t think there is Oseeing> at all%$
But you ha8e kept on saying there has to be Oseeing%> $
Seeing5 Seeing the floer6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Seeing also anger%$
@o6 , only sai! Oseeing%> $
&ou sai! so(ething :ust no% &ou sai!6 O, !on>t think there is a seeing at
all%> Can that be in8estigate!5$
, (ust be 8ery clear on this point6$ sai! 'rishna:i% 7irst there is a hearing by
the ear an! there is a hearing ithout the ear6 hich is a state like a (ill pon! that
is absolutely still ithout a single (o8e(ent% #here is no air that ruffles it% An!
hen the Cuestion is put in it6 it is like a piece of stone thron in a still pon!% #he
a8es are the ansers%$
=hich the Cuestion itself thros up5$
&es6 that is hat e sai! fro( the beginning% =hen you approach the
Cuestion afresh6 the 8ery throing of the Cuestion into the (ill pon! pro!uces the
anser% #here is no entity that ansers% #hat is 8ery i(portant% @o bearing in
(in! that the seeing of the face in the (irror is clear6 but the seeing of thought is
not possible6 hat is Othe seeing of thought5> $
=hat is it that actually takes place5$ , aske!%
#hat is hat e are going to fin! out6$ ansere! '% 7irst let us be clear%
#here is no Oseeing> of thought% 7or that i(plies that there is a seer an! thought
as separate% #he seeing of the face in the (irror is clear% #he (irror cannot reflect
thought% O#he seeing> of thought i(plies that there is a seer an! thought% But the
seer is thought% So there is only thought6 hich cannot be seen in the (irror% So
for (e there is no inar! looking%$
#hen hat !o you (ean hen you talk of Oseeing of> hat is5$
OSeeing of hat is> is not only to obser8e ith the 8isual6 optical eye6
optical ner8e6 but also to hear Ohat is> ithout the earG Ohat is> i(plies all that6
Oseeing>6 Ohearing%> $
But you say thought cannot be seen%$ , presse! hi(% @o% #hought cannot be
seen ith the inar! look%$
By hat then is thought seen5$
#hought cannot see%%%$
,t is not seen by the inar! look6 it is not seen as you see in the (irror an!
yet you say there is a Oseeing%> $
@o6 , oul!n>t use the or! Oseeing6> $ sai! '%
#hen hat or! oul! you use5$
, oul! say6 Othought being aare of itself%> $
#hought being aare of itself5$ , aske!%
-f its on acti8ities%$
But you ha8e been talking6 all these years6 of Oseeing hat is%> $
, spoke of seeing hat is happening6 actually6 inar!ly6 not the obser8ation
of Ohat is> happening ith an optical eye or ith another thought% =hen you
say Oseeing6> it i(plies that%$
=hat is that state5$ , Cuerie!%
#hat is hat e are enCuiring into% ,f you say Oseeing> inar!ly6 , say that
you are bringing a !ual state into that hich is seen% ?ight5$ 'rishna:i>s (in!
as piercingly subtle%
Can there be Oseeing> ithout a !ual state5$ , aske!%
&es6 this Oseeing> i(plies a state here there is no opposite%$
Because such seeing has the sa(e Cuality as the lake%$
&es6 that is hy hen you speak of inar! looking6 there is so(ething
artificial in that approach% #hought itself has to be Cuiet% , think it orks like the
lake% An! hen you put a Cuestion fro( that6 the Cuestion is anere! fro( the
lake%$
But6 Sir6 anger arises6 or :ealousy arises% ,t is a (aterial thing5$
Absolutely%$
, gro aare an! it is alrea!y o8er% Because , cannot Osee> that hich is
o8er%$
4ook6 you say :ealousy arises an! there is the atching of it%$
Can there be a atching of the actual state of :ealousy arising5 ,f so6 it oul!
not arise%$
@o6$ ansere! '% #he fact is6 :ealousy arises% Jealousy is a reaction hich
e na(e% Before you na(e it as :ealousy6 can that reaction be atche!5 @ot as a
atcher atching% &ou un!erstan! hat , a( saying5 But the atching in hich
there is no opposite5 Can , :ust see the reaction5 By the Oseeing> of the reaction ,
(ean the Oseeing>6 Oobser8ing> ithout the eye or the ear% #he obser8ation of the
arising of that reaction is the non*hearing6 is the hearing ithout the ear6 the
seeing ithout the eye% 1oes it soun! craDy5
@o6 let us be clear6$ he continue!% =e are saying6 a Cuestion is aske! an!
that Cuestion is like a stone !roppe! into a (ill pon! an! the (ill pon! is
absolutely Cuiet% #he 8ery anser is the !ropping of the stone into it6 otherise
the pon! is Cuiet%
@o hat e are talking about is not the ti!e going out6 the ti!e co(ing in%
But of an obser8ation of Ohat is> ithout a pre8ious re(e(brance associate!
ith Ohat is%> #hat>s all%$
#hen it is neither optical nor au!itory%$
Absolutely%$
But yet you ha8e use! the or! obser8ing%%%$
-bser8ing in the sense that in such obser8ation there is no re(e(brance of
the thing hich is being obser8e!% , a( right in this6 let (e go sloly% ,n the
process of obser8ation6 there is no center fro( hich it is being obser8e!6 the
center being (e(ory6 8arious conclusions6 hurts% #here is no point fro( hich
Oit> is being obser8e!% ?ight5 An! in this obser8ation there is no conclusion6
there is no association ith past e8ents6 hich (eans the Oseeing> is as Cuiet as
the (ill pon!% #he Ohat is> is the challenge6 an! can the (ill pon! hich is Cuiet
respon! as the challenge !rops into it5$ #he ripple of the (ill pon! as
respon!ing%
#he ripple is the response5$ , aske!%
#he ripple is the response% #hat is a (ar8elous thing%$
, aske!6 @o , ha8e obser8e! you listening to your on response6 ith the
sa(e aareness as you listen to a Cuestion% 1o you listen to your responses5$
, listen to it to see if hat is sai! is accurate%$
&ou listen to your on responsesG an! to you6 your responses an! the
responses of another person are at the sa(e le8el%$
' sai!6 But if you are talking seriously an! you are listening to the
Cuestioner an! respon!ing6 there is an act of listeningHin both !irectionsHnot
the listening to your or (y response6 there is only listening%$
&ou listen6$ , respon!e!6 an! if hat is sai! is not so6 you (o8e aay%
#here is a total fleBibility6 if , (ay so put it% #here is no taking of anser an!
hol!ing to it%$
&ou see if the pebble is 8ery light6 the ripple is a tiny a8e6$ eBplaine! '%
But if it is a s(all rock hich is thron6 there are a great (any a8es% So6 the
act of listening is not only to the person challenging but also a listening to the
ansering% ,t is a total state of listening to the Cuestioner an! the person ho
replies% =hen the person>s reply is not Cuite as it shoul! be6 because there is
listening6 there is a ith!raal fro( that% An! then you change an! you (o8e%
So , ha8e !isco8ere! so(ething% #here is no inar! looking or listening% #here is
only looking an! listening%$
, ha8e to go into this at !epth% , a( :ust taking it in%$ , pause!% =hat is the
(ill pon!5$
7irst of all6$ ' aske!6 hose (ill pon!5 #he (ill pon! of your (in!6 '>s
(in!6 or the (ill pon! of a person ho is agitate!5$
=e are talking of 'rishna:i>s (ill pon!6$ , sai!6 because hat is being
atte(pte! is to see ho far one can go into in8estigating your (in!%$
, un!erstan!% &ou are asking hat is the state of the (ill pon! that
apparently ' has% , !on>t think ' is aare of this (ill pon!%$
=hat are you aare of5$
,t is i(portant to un!erstan! that if ' is aare of it6 it is not a (ill pon!%
=ait6 ait% &es6 that is right%$
@o6 if , (ay ask6 hat is the inner nature of yourself5$ , as challenging
'>s (in! to see ho far he oul! re8eal its nature% #here as a pause% #hen6
fro( a great !epth6 'rishna:i spoke% , ha8e ne8er aske! (yself hat is the (in!6
the inner nature of '% ,f , reply Onothing6> hich (eans Onot a thing6> oul! that
be acceptable5 #here is nothing% =oul! you co(prehen! the state of '>s inner
being6 hich is nothing6 hich is absolutely nothing5 ,t is like (easuring the
i((easurable% , a( not saying (y (in! is i((easurableHbut it is like
(easuring the i((easurable%$
3y el!est sister ha! !ie! of a heart attack in 1996% 3y (other coul! not
contain the shock% /er bo!y an! (in! broke !on6 an! she suffere! a (inor
stroke% She as !e8ote! to 'rishna:i an! ha! acte! as his hostess on (any
occasions% /e rote her a note enclose! in a letter to @an!ini in hich he aske!
after her ell being6 sent his lo8e6 an! eBpresse! his gratitu!e for the hospitality
an! affection she ha! gi8en hi( o8er the (any years% =e rea! the letter to her6
an! she (anage! to s(ile% She reco8ere! but re(aine! 8ery eak%
,n January of the folloing year6 hen 'rishna:i as in Bo(bay6 he ca(e to
see her% She as in be!6 life as gra!ually ebbing aayG but she ha! bathe!
before 'rishna:i ca(e an! her hite (uslin sari co8ere! her hea!% Seeing hi(6
her face an! eyes fille! ith life% /e hel! her han! for o8er an hour an! spoke to
her ith unboun!e! attention% She sai! to hi(6 3y !aughter is !ea!%$
, kno6 A((a6$ he replie!% =e all ha8e to !ie%$ /er (in! ha! beco(e
Cuiet6 an! although she ne8er reco8ere!6 her inar! suffering en!e!% She !ie!
gently6 ithout !isturbing any of her chil!ren ho ere sitting in the neBt roo(%
She as alone hen she slippe! aay%
#he 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation in the "nite! States ha! arrange! a se(inar for
scientists an! philosophers in the spring of 1996 at Arya Fihara in -:ai% Sunan!a6
her husban!6 Pa(a6 an! 'rishna:i>s nephe @arayan ere there% Balasun!ara(6
ho as also to go6 !e8elope! :aun!ice an! ha! to cancel his tra8el
arrange(ents%
'rishna:i spent ti(e in -:ai ith Sunan!aG they ent for alks together6 he
talke! to her at length6 !iscussing the ork at Fasant FiharG gi8ing of hi(self in
full (easure% She ca(e back to ,n!ia aglo ith his bene!iction%
-n June 06 19966 , ha! ritten to 'rishna:i about (y (other>s health an! (y
(eeting ith Sunan!a2
, ha8e been in Bo(bay for the last to eeks because of (y (other>s illness% ,t has been a
8ery !ifficult perio!% She ha! a urinary infection ith co(plications in the lungs an! for the last
eek has been unable to speak or take any nourish(ent or ater by (outh% #he !octor feels it
(ay be a partial paralysis of the throat% She is recei8ing nasal fee!ing an! for the last .+ hours
appears to be better% She has starte! for(ing or!s hich though in!istinct yet are
recogniDable% She has forgotten the i((e!iate past an! keeps asking for 3oon% #here is a
certain !esperation in her Cuestions%
, (et Sunan!a an! Pa(a hen they ere passing through Bo(bay an! e ha! a long talk% ,
a( !eeply happy that they are going to Fasant Fihar an! , hope that e8erything ill be ell
there ith the( an! that the ork in Fasant Fihar ill floer% , a( going to 3a!ras on the 6th
for a (eeting of the 'rishna(urti #rust% -n an earlier 8isit ?a!ha an! , ha! gone o8er the
repairs to be !one as suggeste! by you6 an! , think ork on that (ust alrea!y ha8e starte!%
, feel one ith you that the Secretary of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation ,n!ia shoul! not be
the sa(e as the Principal of ?ishi Falley School% #his ha! been !eci!e! hen you ere here
o8er a year ago% After Balasun!ara( (et you abroa! last year you ha! ritten to (e that
Balasun!ara( ha! eBplaine! to you that the Secretaryship as :ust a technical thing an! that in
your 8ie all acti8ities of the 7oun!ation shoul! be shifte! to ?ishi Falley6 hich shoul!
beco(e the centre of the ork% , !o not ha8e the letter ith (e here6 but hen , return to 1elhi ,
ill sen! you a copy of your letter% , ha! sought clarification fro( you hether in the light of
hat you felt the Secretary an! Principal shoul! be one an! you ha! clarifie! the position an!
sai! that they shoul! not be one% At the (eeting of the 7oun!ation last year hen the (atter of
appointing the Secretary ca(e up6 it as foun! that Balasun!ara( oul! ha8e to continue for a
year as Secretary till the case as o8er as he as the principal plaintiff in the case an! the
Poers of Attorney ere in his na(e% #o (ake a change in (i!strea( oul! cause (any
co(plications% All the 7oun!ation (e(bers ha! agree! to this% 4egally the Secretary of the
7oun!ation is appointe! e8ery year at the annual (eeting hich is hel! in -ctP@o8% , ha!
!iscusse! the (atter ith Balasun!ara( an! he ha! hi(self suggeste! that he shoul! not
continue as Secretary% , ha8e alays felt that Pa(a is the right person to take o8er the
Secretaryship6 an! it is ith this in (in! that , ha! persua!e! hi( to :oin the 7oun!ation%
By 1ece(ber Pa(a Patar!han ha! taken o8er as Secretary fro(
Balasun!ara(6 an! Sunan!a an! Pa(a ent to li8e at Fasant Fihar% #he house
as in sha(bles6 there as no (oney6 an! they face! a herculean task to buil!
the place ane% Sunan!a as to take the responsibility for the ork of
publications an! soon a bulletin as to appear% ,n the years that folloe!6 Fasant
Fihar6 the hea!Cuarters of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation in ,n!ia6 beca(e a center
for '% 7% ,% publications6 the archi8es6 an! the teaching% Tradition and R"voution6
Krishnamurti on -du&ation6 8arious talks6 an! ,n!ian e!itions of 'rishna:i>s
orks ere publishe!%
CHAPTER 29
?i!ing the Back of a #iger%$
, first (et ,n!ira ;an!hi in 1901 at Anan! Bhaan6 her fa(ily ho(e at
Allahaba!% , as siBteen6 she fourteen% , as in lo8e6 igniting fires in that ancient
tonG but , re(e(ber ,n!ira as fragile6 ith!ran6 an austere young girl li8ing in
enclose! spaces of fantasy% , continue! to (eet her o8er the years at the ho(e of
her aunt 'rishna /utheesing% ,t as there in Bo(bay that her son ?a:i8 as born
on August .<6 19++% ,n 19))6 after , ca(e to li8e in 1elhi6 ,n!ira an! , beca(e
frien!s% She as the official hostess of her father6 Pri(e 3inister Jaaharlal
@ehru6 an! they li8e! at #een 3urti /ouse6 the resi!ence of the Co((an!er*in*
Chief prior to in!epen!ence%
,n!ira continue! to hi!e behin! an aloof eBteriorG a sensiti8e6 eager hu(an
being6 she tune! to the unusual6 to people an! to e8ents in the outer orl!%
'rishna:i an! his teachings ere part of (y aking eBistence6 an! , often spoke
to her of self*knoing an! perception% ,t as only hen barriers ere lifte! that
she began to ask (e of the nature of self*knoing an! of an obser8ation that as
free of the obser8er% She shyly spoke of her on finely hone! perception% =hile
young6 she foun! herself atching herself speakG sa things behin! herG as
aare of e8ents she coul! not possibly ha8e seenG ha! often eBperience! eBalte!
sensory perception% &ou kno /uBley>s !oorays of perception5$ she sai!% ,
sa the orl! ith the sa(e fierce intensity6 but hi! (y perceptions6 as people
laughe! at (e an! !i! not un!erstan!%$
7ro( chil!hoo! she felt she coul! !ron in color%$ 7or years a certain color
oul! o8erhel( her% Strong re!s6 oranges of all tones6 an! !usty pinks e8oke!
!eep responses% &ello an! green aakene! energy6 blue as alien%
=hen she beca(e pri(e (inister in 1966 her 8ulnerability lessene!%
,n!ira>s first (eeting ith 'rishna:i as at !inner at (y house in the late
19)<s% ,n!ira appeare! shy an! hesitant to speak% 'rishna:i as also shy6 but
soon starte! relating anec!otes% -ne Sen tale in particular !elighte! her% #o
Bu!!hist (onks ca(e to the bank of a ri8er an! foun! it floo!e! an! !ifficult to
cross% A o(an as aiting on the banks an! she begge! the( to help her
across6 as her chil!ren ere alone an! hungry% -ne (onk refuse!6 the other
picke! her up an! crosse! the strea(6 hol!ing her on his back% =hen they ha!
crosse! an! ere on their ay again6 the first (onk proteste! 8ehe(ently% /e
as horrifie! that a (onk shoul! touch a o(an6 let alone carry her on his back%
#he secon! (onk turne! to hi( an! sai!6 &ou (ean you still carry the o(an
in your (in!5 , left her behin! on the ri8erbank long ago%$
,n the inter of 199< 'rishna:i ca(e to !inner at (y flat% ,n!ira ;an!hi6
'aran Singh of 'ash(ir6 (y sister @an!ini6 ;% Parthasarthi
1
6 an! Ji( ;eorge6
the high co((issioner for Cana!a6 ere present% #he talk at the table turne! to
the youth of the orl!% #he young in the =est ere in re8olt6 ha! refuse! to
accept the (ores of their fathers6 ha! !enie! all security6 an! beco(e an!erers
Htra8eling to !istant countries6 sharing6 s(oking hashish6 breaking all taboos6
seeing an! tasting the orl!% So(eone at the table aske!6 =hy are the youth in
,n!ia so concerne! ith security5$ ' spoke of a groing (aterialis( in ,n!iaG
e !iscusse! the fact that the young in ,n!ia see(e! to be losing their roots6
turning to the affluent =est for their outer an! inner nee!s% 'rishna:i aske!6
=hy is there !eterioration in ,n!ia at all le8els of society5$
,n!ira listene!6 but sel!o( spoke% 'aran Singh as in a (ischie8ous (oo!6
an! aske! 'rishna:i6 ,s it true that no politician can percei8e truth5$ ,n!ira as
listening6 an! later rote to (e2
#hank you for the interesting e8ening%
As usual the foo! as !elicious% , broke (y rule of ha8ing only sala! at night an! ate far
too (uchQ
, as 8ery gla! of the opportunity of (eeting 'rishna:i again% /is 8ies are alays
sti(ulating% After a hile it see(e! as if e ere all Cuestioning hi(% But can the situation of
the young rebels in the "nite! States or 7rance be eCuate! ith the situation here5 ,n these
countries6 (any of these young people belong to the richer fa(ilies an! can ell affor! the ti(e
to sit on the beach an! (e!itate% ,n ,n!ia6 the co(pulsions are (anyHearning one>s li8ing6
supporting one>s fa(ily% Because of (y fa(ily an! the special circu(stances in hich , gre
up6 (y personal eBperience is also entirely !ifferent to that of others% But if , say so6 it (ight
see( as if , a( setting (yself apart% #his is :ust lou! thinking%
,n!ira ha! apparently (a!e no special i(pact on 'rishna:i% /e !i! not
co((ent on their (eeting%
, left for Aurope an! the "nite! States in early June 199)% =hile , as in
Paris , learne! of the !ecision of the Allahaba! /igh Court that ,n!ira ;an!hi>s
election ha! been !eclare! null an! 8oi! on hat appeare! to be a technical
point6 an! that she ha! been !ebarre! fro( seeking election for siB years% #he
Tim"s in 4on!on6 co((enting on it6 ha! co(pare! it to a parking offence%$ #he
unbelie8able ha! happene! an! no one coul! foretell hat lay ahea!%
=hile in Anglan! , ent to stay at Brockoo! Park ith 'rishna:i% /e as
8ery concerne! for the future of ,n!ia% =e ha! long talks% ,n!ira ;an!hi ha!
appeale! the :u!g(ent an! ha! been grante! stay of the or!erG she coul! continue
to hol! the office of pri(e (inister but coul! not 8ote in the 4ok Sabha6
.
as she
as no longer a (e(ber% #he British press as seething ith speculation as to
hether she oul! resign before the appeal as hear!%
#he !ay after , reache! @e &ork6 a state of e(ergency as !eclare! in ,n!ia
an! the nes of the arrests reache! us% 7ar aay6 ith little access to accurate
infor(ation6 e hear! ru(ors that ci8il ar ha! begun% , ent to the ,n!ian
Per(anent 3ission an! trie! to phone through an! speak to ,n!ira ;an!hi% #o
1
;% Parthasarthi as then a frien! of ,n!ira ;an!hi% A senior !iplo(at6 he has hel! 8ery i(portant
assign(ents in ?ussia an! the "nite! States% ,n 1986 he as a!8isor to Pri(e 3inister ?a:i8 ;an!hi%
.
+ok sa%ha is the /in!i or! for parlia(ent%
(y a(aDe(ent it as possible to reach her6 an! she ca(e on the line% , tol! her
of the ru(ors an! the total absence of accurate infor(ation% She trie! to reassure
(eG a state of e(ergency ha! been !eclare!6 she sai!6 an! (any people6
inclu!ing Jai Prakash @arain an! 3orar:i 1esai ha! been !etaine!% She tol! (e
that there as a threat of i!esprea! 8iolence6 an! stresse! that the e(ergency
as for a short perio! of ti(e%
, !i! not go to ;staa! to see 'rishna:i on (y return :ourney6 nor !i! , phone
hi( fro( 4on!on% , as 8ery confuse! an! kne that 'rishna:i oul! be greatly
!istresse! by e8ents in ,n!ia%
,n @e 1elhi (any people spoke to (e about the e(ergencyHa fe in
support6 a large nu(ber in anger an! ith passion% 7ear an! tension ere
groing% , (et ,n!ira at Parlia(ent /ouse6 here , spoke of the pre8ailing
at(osphere an! (y sorro that this shoul! happen in a go8ern(ent of hich she
as the hea!% She listene! intently an! replie! that , coul! not kne the eBtent of
the 8iolence inherent in the situation nor of the !angers6 internal an! eBternal6
that face! the country% She spoke of the railay strike the pre8ious year6 hich
ha! triggere! 8iolence an! instability%
She also referre! to Jai Prakash @arain>s #otal ?e8olution (o8e(ent6 aroun!
hich a large nu(ber of young people rallie!% At first non8iolent in its approach6
by 199) it ha! been infiltrate! by (any un!esirable ele(ents% Jai Prakash6 she
sai!6 as an i!ealist an! appeare! totally unaare of the !anger% But if these
forces ere alloe! to strengthen their position6 the country oul! face !isaster%
, eBpecte! e(ergency to be lifte! on August 1)H,n!epen!ence 1ayHan!
ent to the ?e! 7ort
1
to hear her speak% But :ust before she appeare! on the
ra(parts she recei8e! nes of the assassination in 1acca of the then presi!ent of
Bangla 1esh 3u:ib*ur*?eh(an an! his fa(ily6 inclu!ing his 8ery young son% All
her !or(ant fears an! anBieties ere aakene!% She as certain that the (ur!ers
ere part of a (a:or plot to !estabiliDe the subcontinent an! that she6 her sons
an! her gran!chil!ren ere the neBt target% #he e(ergency continue! ith
trau(atic results for both ruler an! rule!%
Soon after6 , recei8e! a letter fro( 'rishna:i2
, a( riting to you about a 8ery serious (atter6 not only to you personally but also as the
presi!ent of '% 7% ,n!ia% 7ro( the 8arious reports in the A(erican6 Anglish an! 7rench papers it
appears that ,n!ia has beco(e a totalitarian state6$ thousan!s are being put in prison6 free!o(
of speech an! free!o( of the press is al(ost gagge!% , !o not kno hat your position is5 #he
7oun!ation is not political an! is in no ay connecte! ith any kin! of political group6 left or
right% , ant to ask you hat is '>s position if an! hen he co(es to ,n!ia6 knoing that he ill
talk about free!o( at all le8els6 hich ' has been !oing in all the talks here6 free!o( of speech6
free!o( of thought6 free!o( of eBpression% An! if he a!!resses public (eetings they are boun!
to ask hi( certain Cuestions an! he ill ha8e to anser the(% /e feels he cannot (o!ify hat
he says for any reasons hatsoe8er6 to suit any go8ern(ent or any group of people% /e has not
!one so in the past6 he cannot li(it hi(self to the !ictates of any group6 political or otherise%
/e cannot allo hi(self to be put in prison or be pre8ente! fro( lea8ing the country once he
co(es% , oul! also like to point out that ' ill not accept special fa8ours or ha8e an eBe(ption
(a!e in his case%%% K/e en!e! his letter ith the or!s2L Please Pupul:i6 this is a sacre! (atter
an! your responsibility (ust be eCually sacre!%
1
#he ?e! 7ort is a (onu(ent built in the se8enteenth century by Shah Jahan% 7ro( its ra(parts the pri(e
(inisters of ,n!ia a!!ress the nation on ,n!epen!ence 1ay6 August 1)%
,n (y reply6 , ga8e hi( an accurate account of the situation in ,n!ia6 but
assure! hi( that he coul! ne8er be :aile! in ,n!ia% #he culture of this country
(a!e the 8oice of the truly religious teacher a light that coul! not be
eBtinguishe!% By August .<6 , recei8e! a secon! letter% /is eBtre(e concern as
e8i!ent6 an! intro!uce! a ne Cuestion2 =hat is the purpose6 the 8alue6 an! the
benefit of (y co(ing to ,n!ia5$
Apart fro( personal feelings an! affection hich has KsicL its on significance6 as the
physical organis( is no o8er 8< , ha8e been consi!ering ho best the neBt 1< or 1) years
shoul! be spent% As , ha8e repeate! an! can repeat it again ithout bore!o(6 , ha8e spent (ore
ti(e an! gi8en (ore talks in ,n!ia than anyhere else% , a( not concerne! ith the results6 hat
effect the #eachings ha8e in ,n!ia6 ho !eep the roots ha8e penetrate!6 but , think one has the
right to ask an! shoul! ask6 as , a( asking6 hy there is not in ,n!ia after all these years one
person totally an! co(pletely in8ol8e! in these #eachings6 li8ing the( an! !e!icate! entirely to
the(% , a( not in any ay bla(ing any of you6 but if , (ay6 , oul! urge you to gi8e your (ost
serious attention to this%
/e ent on to ask (e if , oul! in!ee! retire fro( (y other ork by 3arch
19966 as , ha! tol! hi(% /e en!e! the letter ith these or!s2
As it (ay beco(e (ore an! (ore !ifficult to speak freely in ,n!ia6 you ha8e to consi!er
ho best ' can spen! the rest of his life (ost usefully for the #eachings% , a( also pointing this
out to the group in A(erica an! in Anglan!% All this shoul! in no ay be construe! as a
personal (atter but as hat is right an! goo! for the #eachings as a hole% #he hole thing6 ,
a( afrai!6 in ,n!ia is being orke! out at personal con8enience an! it is too ba! this is
happening after +< years%
, as o8erhel(e! by the letter% #o (e6 at the ti(e6 it see(e! e8i!ent that
'rishna:i ha! re:ecte! ,n!ia an! the people ho ha! been his co(panions for
(any years% ,n Bo(bay , spoke to @an!ini6 an! she felt as , !i! that 'rishna:i>s
!ialogue ith ,n!ia as o8er%
, rote back to 'rishna:i eBpressing (y !eep !istress% , sai! , as stunne! by
his letter% Balasun!ara(6 ho as ith 'rishna:i in Brockoo! hen (y letter
reache! hi(6 rote to (e that 'rishna:i as puDDle! an! kept on asking6 =hat
has stunne! Pupul5$ 'rishna:i ha! been hol!ing !etaile! !iscussions ith
Balasun!ara( on hat as nee!e! to be !one in the ,n!ian 7oun!ation% Soon it
beca(e clear that 'rishna:i ha! finally !eci!e! not to return to ,n!ia in the inter
of 199)% /e ha! also cancele! his annual 8isit to ?o(e6 but as to return to
3alibu in California%
, recei8e! a long letter fro( 'rishna:i !ate! @o8e(ber 1< fro( 3alibu6
here he as staying at the ho(e of 3ary Si(balist% 4ike a chil! he aske!6
&ou rote fro( 1elhi that you ere stunne! by a long letter hich , ha!
ritten you in hich6 a(ong other things6 , sai! that it as all run in ,n!ia on
personal con8enience% ,n all your letters you !o not say hat stunne! you% ,
oul! like to fin! out hy you felt that ay%$ , replie! that the first i(pact of his
letter as that he ha! aban!one! ,n!ia an! !i! not inten! co(ing back% #here
ere (any Cuestions hich nee!e! to be ansere!6 but there appeare! to be no
point in going into !etails an! seeking clarification% ,t as the first i(pact of the
letter that as crucial%
#he e(ergency ha! been on for o8er a year an! though , as aare of the
strain an! anguish it ha! cause! ,n!ira6 , also kne she ha! been tough6 turning a
blin! eye to (any happenings reporte! to her% As the e(ergency gathere!
(o(entu(6 for the first ti(e in her life she lost her intuiti8e contact ith the
people of ,n!ia% She as isolate! an! suspicious an! oul! not countenance any
criticis(6 e8en hen her close frien!s brought her concrete e8i!ence that
officials ha! o8ersteppe! their authority% ,t as only by the autu(n of 1996 that
the anger an! fear felt by people starte! to reach her%
,t as about this ti(e that , spoke to ,n!ira about the possibility of 'rishna:i
speaking in ,n!ia in the inter of 1996% She sai!6 he is (ost elco(e to co(e
to ,n!ia an! he can speak freely%$ She kne of 'rishna:i>s passionate concern for
free!o(G he as a religious re8olutionary6 an! for hi( life ithout free!o( as
!eath% 'rishna:i arri8e! in ,n!ia in -ctober 1996 an! staye! ith (e at 1 'ing
;eorge>s A8enue%
-n -ctober .9 ,n!ira arri8e! at (y ho(e for !inner at 920<6 earing a sari
printe! in soft pinks% #he other guests inclu!e! AchyutG @an!ini6 her !aughter
1e8i6 an! her gran!!aughter A!iti6 a young an! eBCuisite !ancerG Sunan!a an!
Pa(a Patar!hanG an! 4% '% Jha% ,n!ira tol! us it as her birth!ay accor!ing to
the ,n!ian calen!ar% She eBpresse! a !esire to speak ith 'rishna:i6 an! as ith
hi( in his sitting roo( until nine%
At !inner she as 8ery silent6 har!ly aare of hat as happening aroun!
her% Achyut6 ho ha! been passionately critical of the e(ergency6 as silent6
e8en gri(% 4% '% Jha an! 'rishna:i !i! (ost of the talking% 'rishna:i !i! not look
at ,n!ira or talk to her throughout !inner% /e sense! that she as 8ulnerable6 an!
!i! not ish to intru!e%
1uring !inner 'rishna:i6 to lessen the tension6 starte! relating his (any
anec!otes of Saint Peter an! hea8en% , re(e(ber one in particular% A 8ery rich
(an ho ha! gi8en to (any charities !ie!% =hen he approache! the gates of
hea8en6 he (et Peter guar!ing the !oorays% #he (an ga8e his cre!entials6 an!
Peter sai! he coul! enter the gatesG but before he !i! so6 oul! not he like to see
hat it as like !on belo5 #he rich (an sai!6 Sure6 is it easy to get there5$
Peter replie!6 Just press the button an! the ele8ator ill take you !on%$ -n
going !on6 the gates to the un!erorl! opene! an! the rich (an sa a floer*
fille! gar!en ith running ater an! beautiful o(en aiting to recei8e hi(
ith choice ines an! rare foo!s% After spen!ing so(e ti(e in the (ost
on!erful surroun!ings6 he returne! to Peter to tell hi( that the un!erorl! as
a better place6 (ore fun6 an! he ha! !eci!e! to go there% Peter sai!6 Sure6 ,
thought you oul! feel that ay%$ So the rich (an presse! the button an! ent
back to the un!erorl!% =hen the !oor opene!6 the gar!en ha! 8anishe! an! to
hefty bullies ere aiting for hi( an! starte! beating hi( up% #he (an trie! to
stop the(G in beteen the blos6 he gaspe!6 =hat has happene!5 , ca(e here
only a fe (inutes ago an! , as (et ith open ar(sQ$ Ah6$ sai! the ruffian6
a!(inistering another blo% #hen you ere a tourist%$
A8eryone laughe!6 an! e8en ,n!ira coul! not help s(ilingHthough she
see(e! preoccupie! an! far aay% #hen ,n!ira :oine! the con8ersation an! tol! a
story of the astronauts ho6 on their return fro( outer space6 ent to 8isit
'rusche86 an! ere aske! by hi( in secret6 =hen you ere up in the hea8ens6
!i! you see (ysterious lights6 strange beings5 1i! you see a great6 (ysterious
hite*bear!e! figure surroun!e! by light5$ #he astronauts sai!6 &es6 co(ra!e6
e !i!6$ an! 'rusche8 sai!6 , as afrai! so%$ #hen he arne! the(6 #his is
beteen oursel8es6 !on>t tell a soul%$ 4ater6 the astronauts ent roun! the orl!
an! 8isite! the pope% After their !e8out for(alities ere o8er6 the pope took the(
asi!e an! sai!6 3y sons6 hen you ere up there6 !i! you see lights or co(e
upon a 8ast figure ith a hite bear!5$ #hey replie!6 @o father6 e sa no
lights nor !i! e see a bear!e! figure%$ An! the pope sai!6 Ah6 (y sons6 ,
thought so% But on your soul !on>t tell this to anyone%$ A8eryone at the table
laughe!6 but 4% '% Jha looke! e(barrasse!Hfor 'rishna:i ha! tol! hi( the story6
he in turn ha! repeate! it to the pri(e (inister6 an! no it ha! co(e back to
'rishna:i%
After !inner6 hen e8eryone ha! left6 'rishna:i took (e to his roo( an! tol!
(e that ,n!ira as going through a 8ery !ifficult perio!% 7or a long ti(e after
they (et6 they ha! sat silently% /e coul! feel that she as 8ery !isturbe!% She
tol! hi( that the situation in ,n!ia as eBplosi8e% 'rishna:i ha! sense!
so(ething 8ery fine ithin her6 hich politics as !estroying% /e also hinte! at a
current of 8iolence that surroun!e! her%
#he neBt (orning the pri(e (inister rote to (e to say that 'rishna:i ha!
pro(ise! to (eet her again6 an! she ante! (e to arrange a suitable ti(e% , ha!
telephone! Seshan6 her special assistant6 hen su!!enly at ele8en o>clock a car
arri8e! at the !oor ith ,n!ira in it% #here as no security6 an! it as only so(e
ti(e later that her escort car ith its anBious security personnel arri8e!%
,n!ira spent o8er an hour ith 'rishna:i% She ca(e out of the roo( 8isibly
(o8e!6 an! tears ere strea(ing !on her face% =hen ,n!ira sa that (y
gran!niece A!iti as in the sitting roo(6 she Cuickly took control of herself6
aske! A!iti hat she as rea!ing6 an! spoke to her for a fe (o(ents% , sa
,n!ira Cuietly to her car%
1uring the (onths 'rishna:i as in ,n!ia6 he hel! ,n!ira in his consciousness%
/e aske! (e (any Cuestions about her an! her early life% /e ha! been !eeply
touche! by her ability to listen an! her refusal to react or !efen! herself% /e tol!
(e that she as possibly the only person in her position ho as prepare! to
listen% 3ost people ere either arrogant in their positions an! so coul! not listen6
or broke un!er a!8ersity an! cracke! up% She appeare! !ifferent% /e as to rite
to her before he left 1elhi%
&ears later6 after her son San:ay>s !eath6 , aske! ,n!ira hether she crie!
easily% She thought for a hile then sai!6 @o6 sorro !oes not bring tears% But
hen , a( !eeply (o8e!6 especially by great beauty6 , eep%$ She sai! she ha!
crie! hen she (et 'a(akoti Sankaracharya of 'ancheepura(
1
an! that she ha!
1
#he 'a(akoti Sankaracharya of 'ancheepura( is in the !irect line of successi8e teachers or preceptors
going back to A!i Sankara6 the first Sankaracharya6 ho taught in about the eighth century A%1% 'a(akoti
is the na(e of the 8illage in 'ancheepura( !istrict of #a(il @a!u6 South ,n!ia6 here his religious center
is locate!%
ept copiously hen she ca(e to see 'rishna:i at 1 'ing ;eorge>s A8enue in
@o8e(ber 1996% , sobbe! an! coul! not stop (y tears% , ha8e not crie! like that
for years%$ She also tol! (e so(ething of hat happene! !uring the
con8ersation% 'rishna:i an! she ha! spoken of the e8ents in ,n!ia o8er the last
fe (onths6 an! ,n!ira ha! sai!6 , a( ri!ing the back of a tiger6 but , !o not
kno ho to get off its back%$ 'rishna:i replie!6 ,f you are (ore intelligent than
the tiger6 you ill kno ho to !eal ith the tiger%$ She ha! aske! hi( hat she
shoul! !o% /e refuse! to tell her6 but sai! that she shoul! look at the conflicts6 the
actions6 the rongs as one proble(6 an! then act ithout (oti8e% /e sai! he !i!
not kno the facts6 but that she shoul! act rightly6 ithout fear of conseCuence%
,n later years she tol! (e that it as on -ctober .86 19966 the !ay she (et
'rishna:i for the secon! ti(e6 a frail (o8e(ent ha! aakene! in her6 suggesting
an en! to e(ergency6 hate8er the conseCuences% She ha! (ulle! o8er this
feeling6 talke! to a fe people close to her6 an! finally took the !ecision to call
for elections%
'rishna:i as in Bo(bay6 about to lea8e for Aurope6 hen the announce(ent
as (a!e that ,n!ira ha! or!ere! the release of people hel! un!er the
3aintenance of ,nternal Security Act6 an! ha! also announce! elections%
'rishna:i as 8ery happy an! spoke to (e at length% /e tol! (e that he oul!
ha8e like! to ha8e seen her before he left ,n!ia% /e as e8en prepare! to go to
1elhi6 but , !issua!e! hi(6 knoing that she oul! be greatly preoccupie! ith
the co(ing struggle% #he !ay before he as to lea8e6 he aske! (e to keep hi(
infor(e! about ,n!ira% #hen su!!enly he aske!6 =hat happens if she loses5$
CHAPTER 30
She ,s Fery Fulnerable%$
'rishna:i hear! of ,n!ira>s !efeat hile in -:ai6 California% ,n his letter to (e
!ate! 3arch ..6 he rote6 She is out of the political orl! no an! , on!er
hat she is going to !o% =hen you see her6 please gi8e (y lo8e to her6 ill you5$
-n 3arch 01 he rote again% , ha8e recei8e! your letter after the election% , a(
gla! you ere ith her hen the nes ca(e% , feel so(ehat responsible in this
e8ent% As , tol! you in Bo(bay6 she (ay be !efeate!% Anyho6 please gi8e her
(y lo8e%$ ,n the letters that folloe!6 he continue! to enCuire about her%
, staye! on in 1elhi until late 3ay6 though , resigne! fro( all the positions ,
hel! ith go8ern(ent% ,n!ira ha! shifte! fro( the pri(e (inister>s resi!ence to
1. =illing!on Crescent% #he pressures an! tensions ere (ounting% , oul! fin!
her sitting alone in the !arkness on the 8eran!a on a hot su((er e8ening6
looking out into the su((er night of an ,n!ian gar!en% , oul! sit ith her6 but
fe or!s ere sai!% So(eti(es , oul! share her frugal (eal an! go ho(e%
-ne e8ening , foun! her looking un!uly eBhauste!% , kne she ha! been to
call on one of the lea!ers of the ne go8ern(ent% , aske! her hether she ha!
felt great hostility hen they (et% &es6$ she sai!% , got a terrible allergy6 hile
he as talkingHthe insi!es of (e got sollen% , ha!n>t enough han!kerchiefs6
(y nose as running%$
-n so(e !ays she oul! su!!enly arri8e at (y house to sit Cuietly%$ She
appeare! totally unafrai! for herself6 but as eBtre(ely anBious for her son6
San:ay% She ha! been tol! by the fe people ho re(aine! ith her that he
oul! be arreste! an! torture! in :ail% , !i! not kno ho to co(fort her%
, left for Bo(bay in early June6 as , ha! nohere to li8e in @e 1elhi% Soon
after , left6 ,n!ira as arreste!% She spent a night in the police lock*up6 but as
release! by the (agistrate the neBt (orning%
'rishna:i hear! the nes of ,n!ira>s arrest in 4on!on on the BBC6 an! he
i((e!iately rote to (e to enCuire of her ell*being% =ith the pressures
(ounting against her an! San:ay6 ,n!ira rote to 'rishna:iG but ith no staff to
assist her6 the letter as un!ersta(pe! an! ent by surface (ail% =hen , (et her
in August6 she sai! she ha! not recei8e! a reply to her letter% 'noing that
'rishna:i oul! ha8e replie!6 , rote to hi( enCuiring hether the letter ha!
reache! hi(% /is response as i((e!iateG her letter ha! not reache! hi(% ,t only
reache! hi( (uch later6 hen he returne! to ,n!iaG the letter ha! been re!irecte!
to hi( fro( Brockoo!% /er letter to hi( of June .16 19996 rea! as follos2
?especte! 'rishna:i6
Pupul has sent (e your a!!ress%
, ant to rite but , !on>t kno hat%
, thought , ha! acCuire! a (easure of Cuiet ithin (yself but it is ob8iously not sufficient
for the sort of pressures that , a( no eBperiencing% , ha8e s(ile! through the longstan!ing
ca(paign of calu(ny against (e an! (y fa(ily% #his continues% ,n a!!ition e are constantly
atche!6 folloe! an! harasse!%
She ent on to speak of San:ay an! the threats of cri(inal charges being
(a!e against hi(% #he letter en!s6 San:ay hi(self6 though sub:ect to such
har!ships an! hu(iliationsHrai!s on his pre(ises6 CB, Cuestioning an! the
actual case6 is beha8ing ith !ignity an! eCuani(ity%$
People ho ha! been close to her hen she as pri(e (inister began to
aban!on her6 an! she as !eeply hurt% She !i! not kno hat the future hel! for
her% She as aare the Janata go8ern(ent sought re8enge an! oul! go all out
to hu(iliate an! persecute her% She as apprehensi8e for San:ay%
'rishna:i arri8e! in ,n!ia in early @o8e(ber% 7ro( Bo(bay he as to go to
Faranasi6 but an acute ater shortage there (a!e hi( cancel his 8isit%
3y groun!*floor flat in 1ongersey ?oa!6 3alabar /ill6 here 'rishna:i as
to stay in Bo(bay6 as in a horren!ous state of !isrepair% #he !ay before his
arri8al part of the plaster fro( the roof ha! fallen near (y be!6 barely (issing
(y sleeping bo!y% ,t as i(possible to get it repaire! before he ca(e% #o a!! to
(y !espair6 on the (orning of his arri8al ork(en starte! !igging up the roa! in
front of (y gate6 an! no telephone calls to the 3unicipal Corporation coul! stop
the(% @o one coul! e8en a!8ise (e as to ho as responsible6 an! , as
helpless% So 'rishna:i ca(e to a house in hich the plaster as falling6 an! a
!itch as being !ug in front of the gate% A plank ha! been place! o8er the !itch6
an! oo!en poles supporte! the portico an! the back 8eran!a to sa8e the( fro(
collapsing%
Soon after he arri8e!6 ' starte! asking Cuestions about ,n!ira% /e tol! (e that
before he left ,n!ia in 7ebruary 19996 he ha! a su!!en perception in hich he
foresa ,n!ira>s !efeat% /e ent on to say that she oul! face tra8ail6 tribulation6
an! 8iolence in the years ahea!%
A fe !ays after his arri8al , ha! a telephone call fro( 1elhi that ,n!ira as
to co(e fro( Bangalore to Bo(bay ith the sole purpose of (eeting 'rishna:i%
,t as to be a pri8ate 8isit% She ca(e to the house an! alke! out of the car6
a(use! at ha8ing to alk the plank$ to enter the house here , li8e!% She spent
o8er to hours ith 'rishna:i6 hile the !irector general of police6 ho as
there for reasons of security6 aite! in the corri!or% =hen she ca(e out she took
(e asi!e an! tol! (e that 'rishna:i ha! aske! her to stay another !ay6 an! she
ha! agree!% Coul! she stay5 She hope! it as not too (uch trouble%
, i((e!iately agree!6 though ith inar! trepi!ation6 an! began to plan the
!etails% =hen the !irector general of police hear! this6 he as horrifie!% /e tol!
(e it as i(possible to pro8i!e a!eCuate security to protect this flat% ,t as on
the groun! floor6 ith a nu(ber of in!os opening on to the roa!% /e begge!
(e to persua!e her to go back to 1elhi% /e as 8ery ner8ous an! genuinely
afrai!% By then se8eral Congress lea!ers starte! co(ing to see her% #hey ere all
cro!e! into the thir! be!roo(6 hile ,n!ira (et the( in!i8i!ually in the sitting
roo(%
,t as finally arrange! that she go back to 1elhi% By then people ha! co(e to
kno that ,n!ira as in the flat6 an! cro!s ha! gathere! outsi!e% Before she left
in the e8ening6 ,n!ira enthusiastically ate cucu(ber san!iches an! patodi6 a
succulent ;u:arat sa8ory% , !ro8e ith her to the airportHthe plane as se8eral
hours late%
,n the spring of 1998 , tra8ele! aroun! 'arnataka ith ,n!ira6 seeing te(ples
an! 8isiting maths or (onasteries% =e ha! stoppe! for lunch at 3ulabi!ri6 an
ancient Jain religious center% A 8ast collection of Jain tirthankara i(ages car8e!
out of e(eral!6 ruby6 sapphire6 crystal6 obsi!ian6 :a!e6 agate6 an! other
se(iprecious stones ha! been brought out fro( the strong roo(s to be shon to
the eB*pri(e (inister% 7ro( the tenth century6 (erchants tra!ing in the 7ar Aast
brought back ith the( treasures car8e! in the for( of the stan!ing Jain i(ages
to offer at this ancient shrine%
=e en!e! our :ourney at 3ercara in a rest*house nestle! a(ongst gar!ens an!
huge trees% /ere ,n!ira as to rite her book -t"rna ,ndia% She oul! !iscuss
the book ith us an! spen! the (orning ritingG at ti(es she oul! relaB an!
talk% =riting the book ha! aakene! (any (e(ories6 an! ha! also helpe! her to
in8estigate herself% She tol! (e6 =hen , go for a trip6 , obser8e e8erything that
takes place6 e8erything that passes (y car% #he car often has no springs an! is
unco(fortable on ku&&ha or (u! track roa!s% , atch the 8illages6 the ay
people !ress6 their faces6 their eBpressions% , ha8e alays atche!% As a chil!6 ,
as full of curiosity6 , as intereste! in e8erything2 bir!s6 insects6 ani(als%$ She
lo8e! to alk barefoot6 especially hen she as in the (ountains% She sai!6
;an!hi:i use! to say6 O=alk barefoot because the poor ha8e no shoes6> but to (e
alking barefoot is to feel the earth6 the touch of it%$
'rishna:i returne! to ,n!ia in early @o8e(ber 1998% /e !i! not stop in 1elhi
on his ay to Faranasi% 7ro( there he ent south to ?ishi Falley 8ia Calcutta%
=hile in ?ishi Falley , got a phone call fro( 1. =illing!on Crescent in @e
1elhi that ,n!ira as proposing to 8isit ?ishi Falley an! hope! to (eet
'rishna:i% She ha! ne8er been to the 8alley6 an! thought a fe !ays there oul!
be restful% She ha! :ust on the fiercely fought election at Chik(agelur6 an!
tensions ere (ounting as the !ate for the opening of Parlia(ent !re near%
#he !ay before she as to arri8e6 , recei8e! another phone call to say that the
pri8ilege (otion to eBpel her fro( Parlia(ent an! :ail her as gathering
(o(entu(6 an! the neBt fe !ays oul! be criticalG naturally6 she ha! to
aban!on the trip% , ca(e !on fro( ?ishi Falley an! fle to @e 1elhi an! as
present in the 4ok Sabha hen the battle as fought% She as arraigne! by
Parlia(ent6 eBpelle!6 an! sent to prison until Parlia(ent a!:ourne!% She as in
#ihar Jail for a eek% 7ro( there she rote (e this note6 scribble! on a cru(ple!
an! staine! piece of paper2
Pupul !ear
&ou looke! positi8ely ill the other !ay an! , ha8e been orrie! about you% &ou are anBious
about (eHbut hy5 Physically an! (entally , a( ell% 3y cough an! col! are (uch better% ,
a( eKnLsconce! Mit soun!s a goo! or! but the spelling escapes (e for the (o(entN in a large
barracks all by (yself ith to (atrons taking turns to look after (e% ,t is fairly clean but
in!escribably ugly6 the fittings unfunctional an! ba!ly (a!e% #hey ha8e (a!e a bathroo( for
(e an! , ha! hot ater in the (orning% ,t is Cuiet an! peaceful% , a( rea!ing an! if the (oo!
co(es6 (ay be able to rite% , ha8e brought an o!! selection of booksHall birth!ay gifts%
4o8e
,n!u%
/a8e finishe! hastily as (y foo! has co(e%
Soon after she as release!6 she !eci!e! to 8isit 'rishna:i in Fasant Fihar6
3a!ras% Alaborate arrange(ents ha! been (a!e for her security% She as to ha8e
lunch ith 'rishna:i6 stay the night at the State ?est /ouse6 an! return to 1elhi
neBt (orning%
#he airport as a seething (ass of people ho ha! co(e to recei8e her% She
ca(e out of the plane looking a little tire!% She as co(ing fro( 'arnataka
here the opposition parties ha! organiDe! so(e 8iolent stone*throing%
'rishna:i as at the porch an! took her to his roo( on the first floor of
Fasant Fihar% , aite! in a nearby sitting roo(% So(e ti(e before she left6 he
calle! (e in% ,n!ira ha! !istresse! eyes6 but s(ile! hen she sa (e% After a
hile she sai!6 'rishna:i has been asking (e to lea8e politics% , ha8e tol! hi( ,
!o not kno ho% #here are tenty*eight cri(inal cases against (e%$ She turne!
to 'rishna:i an! sai! they ha! brought a cri(inal charge against her for ha8ing
stolen to chickens6 an! a su((ons as being issue! against her6 !e(an!ing
that she appear to anser the charge% She pause!6 searching for the right or!s%
, ha8e tol! 'rishna:i that , ha8e only to alternati8es6 to fight or to let the(
!estroy (e like a sitting !uck%$
, took her to (y cottage6 here she ha! a ash an! relaBe! before lunch an!
tol! (e of her life in :ail% She oul! ake up at fi8e in the (orning6 eBercise6
!rink col! (ilk that ha! been brought to her by her !aughter*in*la Sonia the
e8ening before6 an! go back to be! until se8en% She then bathe!6 an! after that
rea!% ,ronically6 she ha! been gi8en the sa(e ar! that ha! been use! by ;eorge
7ernan!es%
1
#here ere to (atrons ith her all the ti(e% #he ar! as ugly%
Sonia brought her (eals cooke! at ho(e% #he :ail authorities only alloe! her a
li(ite! nu(ber of books6 a situation she foun! irritating% She ha! no self*pity of
any sort%
#oar!s the en! of the con8ersation she sai!6 =hen , sa 'rishna:i in 1elhi
in 19966 he aske! (e if , realiDe! that6 if , acte! rightly6 , oul! ha8e to face the
conseCuences5 #hey oul! try to !estroy (e%$
By one o>clock e ha! gone back to the house for lunch% Besi!es ,n!ira an!
'rishna:i6 there as 3ary Si(balist% 'rishna:i playe! the host% ,t as heart*
ar(ing to see the eBCuisite courtesies ith hich he fille! this roleG he as
attenti8e to hat she sai!6 atche! the ay the foo! as ser8e!6 !iscusse!
international affairs6 spoke of the proble(s facing hu(anity%
1uring lunch 3ary Si(balist aske! ,n!ira6 =hat as it like in prison5$
1
;eorge 7ernan!es6 a socialist6 as one of the (ost aggressi8e opponents of ,n!ira ;an!hi% /e as a
(e(ber of Parlia(ent for se8eral years an! as a (inister in the go8ern(ent of 3orar:i 1esai6 after
,n!ira ;an!hi an! the Congress ere !efeate! in 1999%
@ot co(fortable6$ ca(e the pro(pt reply% ,n!ira ent on to say that they
ha! pro8i!e! a oo!en be!6 but no (attress% She ha! use! the blankets to keep
out the light fro( the barre! in!os% She ha! recei8e! to telegra(s hile in
:ail6 fro( unknon people% #he first sai!6 4i8e frugally$G the other a!8ise! her
to count the bars in the in!o% She ha! actually counte! the(%
3% S% Subbulaksh(i6 one of the best*knon singers of the carnatic (usic of
South ,n!ia6 a o(an hose (elo!ious 8oice is in har(ony ith her !ignity6
as to gi8e a concert for 'rishna:i at Fasant Fihar that e8ening6 an! he in8ite!
,n!ira% She replie! that she ha! se8eral (eetings in the e8ening6 but oul! try
an! co(e if she coul! get aay%
A large nu(ber of people ha! co(e to hear the (usic% 'rishna:i as sitting
on the floor slightly behin! the first fe ros6 an! there ere chairs against the
all% Subbulaksh(i as singing hen ,n!ira ca(e6 an! sat !on on an e(pty
chair near the !oor% Seeing her6 , got up an! sat in the chair besi!e her% , coul!
see that e8eryone in the roo( as aare that she as there an! ere atching
her closely% 'rishna:i ha! notice! her presence6 but sat ithout (o8e(ent% After
about an hour6 she got up an! Cuietly slippe! out by the si!e !oor% , folloe! her
an! foun! hi( aiting% /e ha! seen her lea8e an! ha! siftly (o8e! to the
porch6 to bi! her goo!bye% /e as 8ery affectionate6 took her han!6 an! sai!6
Au re8oir6 3a!a(e% Be ell% =e shall (eet again%$
#he repression an! harass(ent against ,n!ira an! her fa(ily in 1999 ere to
beco(e counterpro!ucti8e% After e(ergency6 the people of ,n!ia ha! rebelle!
against her6 but they ere not prepare! to see ,n!ira hu(iliate!% #o the( she as
Jaaharlal>s !aughter6 courageous beyon! (easure% -ne e8ening after her !efeat6
she ha! tol! (e that she as a sur8i8or% 4ife ha! been so tough in her chil!hoo!
that traits necessary for sur8i8al ha! !e8elope! ithin her% She coul! bear
har!ships6 !epri8ation6 an! li8e a life of austerity% #his instinct for sur8i8al (a!e
her she! hat as unnecessary an! !e8elop the faculties nee!e! to (eet !angerG
it enable! her to sense the change of (oo! a(ongst people in ,n!ia% =ith the
Janata ;o8ern(ent
1
breaking up6 shre! an! insightful politician that she as6
she as Cuick to act% She toure! the country 8igorously6 speaking at s(all an!
large gatherings% #he three years of se8ere persecution6 of isolation6 of seeing
people betray her out of fear or for gain6 of being hunte! an! ha8ing to use all her
senses to protect herself an! her son6 ha! left her ary an! atchful% By the ti(e
'rishna:i returne! to ,n!ia at the en! of 1999 elections ha! been announce!% She
rote a letter to hi(6 eBpressing her inability to (eet hi(6 as she as tra8eling
continually%
, as on the plane to 1elhi hen the election nes ca(e in2 She ha! on
ith an o8erhel(ing (a:ority% , ent to her neBt (orning% Barrica!es ha! been
put up aroun! 1. =illing!on Crescent an! huge cro!s ere (illing aroun!%
1
After the e(ergency en!e!6 the opposition lea!ers ca(e together to for( a single party un!er the na(e
of the Janata Party% Janata (eans people%$ #he Janata Party as inspire! by the (ost respecte!
;an!hian lea!er6 Jai Prakash @arainG the ne party fought the elections in 1999 against ,n!ira ;an!hi
an! the Congress Party% #he Janata Party as 8ictorious an! a ne go8ern(ent as for(e! un!er
3orar:i 1esai6 the 8eteran lea!er of ;u:arat% 3ost of the (e(bers of the Janata Party ha! earlier been
(e(bers of the CongressG (any of the( ha! fought in the free!o( struggle against the British6 but broke
aay fro( the party%
She e(brace! (e an! tears bri((e! o8er% Although she ha! knon the ti!e as
in her fa8or6 the shock of 8ictory took so(e ti(e to register%
, ent to Bo(bay6 an! 'rishna:i arri8e! there the neBt !ay% =e spoke of
,n!ira an! her future% -ne (orning he calle! (e to his roo(G he as gra8e an!
silent% =e sat Cuietly% /e then tol! (e that ,n!ira oul! face great sorro in the
year to co(e an! , shoul! be in 1elhi as (uch as possible% /e sai!6 ,t is a
strange coinci!ence that you shoul! be so close to an outsi!er like (e an! also be
a frien! of the pri(e (inister% Be 8ery atchful of yourself% Such situations :ust
!on>t happen% Be !eeply aare of e8ery thought an! action%$ /is or!s
penetrate! !eeply6 though , coul! gi8e hi( no reply% , as aare that he sense!
so(e !arkness o8ersha!oing ,n!ira6 but he !i! not speak of it%
, starte! going to 1elhi regularly beginning in 7ebruary6 though , !i! not take
up any ork in the go8ern(ent until late Septe(ber% , as in 'ash(ir in June6
staying ith ;o8ernor 4% '% Jha6 hen the nes ca(e by phone that San:ay ha!
been critically in:ure! in an airplane acci!ent% , took a plane to 1elhi
i((e!iately% -n the plane , (et 1r% 'aran Singh6 ho tol! (e that he ha!
confir(ation fro( 1elhi that San:ay as !ea!% 'rishna:i sent a telegra(6 hich ,
later ga8e to ,n!ira%
, ha! ritten to 'rishna:i gi8ing hi( nes of ,n!ira an! the catastrophe% /e
rote back i((e!iately fro( ;staa!2 ,t (ust ha8e been a terrible shock for her
an! , hope she is reco8ering%$ , ha! suggeste! that he rite to her on ho to face
!eath% /e replie!6 , ha8e :ust ansere! that Cuestion in the public (eeting% , feel
it oul! not be right to sen! her a (essage on (eeting !eath% , coul! talk to her6
hich oul! be totally !ifferent fro( a ritten (essage% , hope you un!erstan!
this%$
As !ays passe! ,n!ira>s bo!y6 hich ha! stoo! the shock of San:ay>s !eath
ith a straight back an! !ry eyes6 starte! to eBpress its anguish% /er lips6 hich
in the early years ha! contra!icte! the ar(th of her eyes6 lost all toughness% /er
hair beca(e unruly6 brushe! back fro( her forehea!G her step as hea8y%
She began to recei8e all (anner of telegra(s an! letters containing
astrological forecasts of !isaster an! !anger to ?a:i8% So(e astrologers clai(e!
to ha8e actually forecast the !ay of San:ay>s !eath6 se8eral (onths earlier% ,t as
ob8ious that the fresh astrological forecasts ere sent to break her spirit% ,
suggeste! that she thro the letters out of the in!o% She hesitate!% #hen ith
anguish she sai!6 ,f , ha! !ie!6 it oul! ha8e been right% , a( o8er siBty an!
ha8e li8e! a full life% But San:ay as so young%$ =e ere at !innerG ?a:i8 as
gri(6 Sonia in tears6 San:ay>s young i!o 3aneka absent% ,n!ira got up6 saying
she ha! four (ore hours of ork that night% As she alke! to the !oor6 her
shoul!ers ere bent6 her bo!y !roope!6 she looke! age! an! bone eary%
'rishna:i arri8e! fro( Brockoo! in early @o8e(ber 198<% 7ro( 3a!ras he
ent to Colo(bo6 Sri 4anka6 here he as to gi8e four talks% By the fourth eek
of @o8e(ber6 'rishna:i as in ?ishi Falley% #he (e(bers of the A(erican an!
British 7oun!ations ha! co(e to the 8alley for the :oint (eeting that as to take
place later in 3a!ras% ,n 1ece(ber , got a (essage that ,n!ira ;an!hi as
co(ing to 8isit 'rishna:i at ?ishi Falley ith ?a:i8 an! Sonia an! their chil!ren
?ahul an! Priyanka% 'rishna:i as puDDle! that a pri(e (inister oul! co(e
such a long !istance to 8isit hi( an! see the 8alley% /e spoke to (e of the special
Cuality of the feelings he ha! for her% ,t ha! been nearly to years since he ha!
first (et her% 1uring that ti(e she ha! knon great triu(ph an! the !e8astating
sorro of the su!!en loss of her son%
#he pri(e (inister ha! issue! instructions that it as a pri8ate 8isit an! that
she !i! not ant the (inisters an! other representati8es of the state legislature to
cro! the ca(pus% She ha! also tol! the security staff to keep off the ca(pus6 as
she realiDe! that 'rishna:i oul! be sensiti8e to guns an! unifor(s% #he collector
of the !istrict an! the police officials ere in a state of !espair% Police ha! to be
there6 but they ha! to be locate! so that they beca(e in8isible% ,t beca(e a ga(e
of fin!ing a suitable bush behin! hich to hi!eHone stout inspector of police
e8en trie! to hi!e behin! a slen!er eucalyptus tree% @early fi8e hun!re! security
personnel ere hi!!en on the ca(pus%
,n!ira>s plane lan!e! at an airstrip so(e (iles fro( the ca(pus% , cli(be!
into her car an! e !ro8e to the gates of ?ishi Falley6 here the 8illagers6
chil!ren of the school6 an! teachers ha! gathere!6 ith garlan!s% She stoppe! the
car6 got out6 an! (ingle! ith the(%
, took her to see 'rishna:i6 ho as aiting on the !oorstep of the ol! ;uest
/ouse% #hey spent a fe (inutes togetherG then6 hile 'rishna:i returne! to his
roo(6 e !ro8e her roun! the ca(pus% =e shoe! her the school buil!ings6 the
far(6 the rice fiel!s6 the 8illage school% She as 8ery atchful6 obser8ing the
trees6 the lush crops6 an! orkers> ho(es% =e stoppe! at a s(all chil!ren>s
hostel an! she ent in an! spoke to the chil!ren% She !i! not co((ent6 but ,
coul! see that she as i(presse!% At the en! of the !ri8e e reache! the
asse(bly buil!ing6 here she an! ?a:i8 plante! ficus benga(ina trees%
After the tree planting6 e entere! the asse(bly hall% 'rishna:i ca(e in
silently an! sat neBt to ,n!ira% #here as absolute silence% #hen6 ith perfect
intonation6 the chil!ren chante! Sanskrit sokas% As they en!e!6 'rishna:i turne!
to ,n!ira an! aske! her to speak% She sai! she coul! not !o so before 'rishna:i%
So he ent an! sat cross*legge! on the lo platfor( an! spoke a fe or!s to
the chil!ren% =hen he finishe!6 she took off her shoes an! ent on to the
platfor(6 sat !on6 an! ga8e a short6 si(ple talk%
She then alke! ith 'rishna:i to the ol! ;uest /ouse% , folloe! ith her
fa(ily% #ea6 dosas6 an! ja"%is ere ser8e! in the large open space near
'rishna:i>s roo(% ?ishi 'on!a as hi!!en by the tall trees6 the branches of
hich fra(e! an! e8en entere! into the open roo(% Para(esaran6 the (aster
chef of ?ishi Falley6 as fa(ous for his dosas6 an! ,n!ira an! the fa(ily ate
the( ith enthusias(% 'rishna:i notice! that she nee!e! to ash her fingers an!
aske! Para(esaran for a finger bol% @o such 8essel as a8ailable6 so a soup
plate ith ater as brought in hich ,n!ira ashe! her han!s% 'rishna:i looke!
at (eG ,n!ira notice! the look an! s(ile!%
She then aske! hether she coul! speak to 'rishna:i6 an! he took her to his
roo(% ?a:i8 an! Sonia ent to see the school6 hile ?a:esh 1alal took the
chil!ren hiking% ,n!ira as ith 'rishna:i for so(e ti(e% 4ater6 they ent for a
cross*country alk% #he security police ere hi!!en behin! bushes on the route
they ere to follo% #hey alke! through (ango gro8es6 toar!s ?ishi 'on!aG
the sun as setting behin! the hill6 an! the sky as (olten% ,n!ira kept pace ith
ease an! 'rishna:i as alking fast%
,n the e8ening there as a concert un!er the banyan tree an! later a (oonlight
!inner% ,n!ira as relaBe!6 tol! anec!otes6 an! :oine! freely in the con8ersation% ,
ha! arrange! her roo( ith so(e careHa in!o opene! onto ?ishi 'on!a6
hich as 8isible through plants an! il! floering grass% She notice! the plants
an! the hill an! the at(osphere create! in the roo(6 an! co((ente! on the peace
an! infinite Cuiet in the 8alley% @eBt (orning6 she ha! breakfast ith 'rishna:i%
,n the eighteen hours she ha! been in ?ishi Falley6 an una8ering
co(passion ha! floe! fro( 'rishna:i6 en8eloping her% , !o not kno if she as
aare of the ti(eless energies that e(anate! fro( hi(6 healing bo!y an! (in!%
A Rig !"da teBt speaks of the place =here -sha!ies or herbs an! plants are
foun!6 there the ise (an is the healer6 of e8il an! !isease%$
, acco(panie! her back to 1elhi% She slept !eeply on the plane ithout
aking% ,t see(e! to be the sleep of healing%
,n!ira ha! brought aay ithin her the silences an! the co(passion of the
8alley% ,t soon beca(e e8i!ent that her senses ere Cuickening% A young6
8ulnerable look as replacing the ra8age! face% /er step ha! gron light an! her
shoul!ers straight%
CHAPTER 31
1on>t /ol! 3e(ories of
/er in &our 3in!6 that
/ol!s /er to the Aarth%
4et /er ;o%$
'rishna:i returne! to 1elhi by 4ufthansa on -ctober .66 1981G he ha! been ill
an! as 8ery eak% Asit acco(panie! hi(% #he presi!ent of ,n!ia6 Shri San:ee8a
?e!!y6 a for(er stu!ent of the ?ishi Falley School6 ha! sent a (essage through
one of his ai!es that he oul! like 'rishna:i to stay ith hi( hen he as in
1elhi% #he proble( of his !oing so ha! been eBplaine! to the presi!ent an! it ha!
been !eci!e! that he oul! host a lunch for 'rishna:i hen he as in 1elhi%
#he !ay after his arri8al6 'rishna:i began to talk to (e about ,n!ira% /e
ante! to kno hat kin! of (in! she ha!% =as there in her the sense of the
global5 =as she aare of the crisis facing hu(anity5 , ha! ansere! that , felt
she ha! a sense of the global an! coul! see proble(s in a totality% 'rishna:i then
aske! if she coul! cease to be national% , sai!6 no6 she coul! not !o that an!
re(ain pri(e (inister% /e then starte! talking of the ar(s race% /e as greatly
!isturbe! at the !angers facing hu(anity% /e also ha! forebo!ings about ,n!ira%
#here as increasing corruption an! 8iolence in ,n!ia6 an! the 8iolence oul!
accelerate% Coul! she act an! control it5$ he aske!% She is 8ery 8ulnerable%$
, then aske! hi(6 hy6 for the past se8eral years6 he ha! been so concerne!
about ,n!ira% =hat !i! he fin! in her5 /e pon!ere!6 Cuestione! hi(self6 an! sai!
it as a ne CuestionG he appeare! intrigue! by it% /e ha! hel! her in his
consciousness for so(e ti(e% /e felt he coul! silently co((une ith her% =e
ere interrupte!6 an! the !iscussion re(aine! unfinishe!%
,n!ira ha! in8ite! 'rishna:i to tea6 an! as aiting for hi( on the porch%
#hey ere together for to hours6 at the en! of hich she ca(e into the !ining
roo(6 here , as aiting ith Sonia an! 3aneka6 an! aske! for the ti(e% =hen
she hear! it as se8en thirty6 she laughe! an! sai! she ha! lost all track of ti(e
an! ha! (isse! a (eeting% She took the chil!ren into the roo( an! they ere
intro!uce! to 'rishna:i% A little later6 ,n!ira ca(e to the !oor to see us off%
'rishna:i as 8ery silent on his return% 4ater6 he as to tell (e that he ha! felt
great tension in the houseG strong6 suppresse! e(otions an! so(e latent hatre!%
/e ha! aske! ,n!ira hether there ere proble(s in the fa(ily6 an! she ha!
replie!6 #he usual Cuarrels6 as in all fa(ilies%$ But 'rishna:i as not satisfie!%
/e felt that there as 8iolence an! so(ething 8ery rong in the at(osphere%
-n @o8e(ber . e ent to lunch at ?ashtrapati Bha8an6 the presi!ent>s
resi!ence% Achyut6 @arayan6 @an!ini6 an! , acco(panie! 'rishna:i6 ho ore a
re!*bor!ere! dhoti an! a kurta (a!e of a rough6 bark*tone! han!spun tussar%
1
An
angavastram reste! on his shoul!er% #all6 straight*backe!6 silent6 ith gra8e
!e(eanor an! liCui!6 co(passionate eyes6 it as a lu(inous sage ho entere!
this sy(bol of i(perial splen!or% #he presi!ent6 San:ee8a ?e!!y6 recei8e!
'rishna:i ith great respect6 as is the tra!ition of this country% S% Fenkatara(an6
ho ha! knon 'rishna:i for se8eral years6 starte! a con8ersation% ,n!ira ca(e in
a fe (o(ents later% 4ike a ni(ble girl6 her eyes sparkling6 she ran to greet
'rishna:i%
At lunch6 she insiste! on speaking to 'rishna:i in 7rench% 'rishna:i>s 7rench
as perfect6 an! there as a sophistication in hi( that !elighte! ,n!ira% She as
aare that the presi!ent as intrigue! an! 8ery curious% /e kept ben!ing o8er to
listen an! appeare! frustrate!6 as he coul! not un!erstan! hat as being sai!%
After lunch 'rishna:i as seen off at the !oor of ?ashtrapati Bha8an by the
presi!ent% ,t ha! been a (e(orable6 though a(using6 interlu!e%
'rishna:i returne! to 1elhi fro( Faranasi in early 1ece(ber 1981% ,n!ira
ca(e to !ine at the house% ,t as the !ay of the Eutub 3inar trage!yG a sta(pe!e
in the !ark spiral staircase of the Eutub Ma toer of 8ictory built by the telfth*
century ruler Eutbu!in AibakN ha! trappe! a school party6 an! forty*fi8e chil!ren
ha! been kille!% She ha! co(e straight fro( the scene of the acci!ent6 fro( the
horror of (utilate! bo!ies an! hysterical6 grie8ing parents% /er face as taut an!
gri(6 her eyes sha!oe!% 'rishna:i ha! hear! of the !isaster an! (et her at the
!oor% She as ith hi( for o8er an hour% =hen they ca(e out for !inner6 her
face ha! softene!6 though the eyes still hel! the agony of hat she ha! seen%
#he con8ersation at !inner turne! to the eBtrasensory6 (agical happenings in
,n!ia% 'rishna:i tol! a story of the early 19.<s6 hen he an! his brother @itya
ere in Faranasi% A 8ery poor (an ha! alke! into the co(poun! here they
ere staying% After talking to the( for a hile6 he ha! aske! for a nespaper an!
place! it at so(e !istance% /e ha! then aske! 'rishna:i to keep atching the
paper% ' atche! as it gre s(aller an! finally !isappeare!% #he (agician
refuse! any (oney for this feat6 an! alke! aay%
4% '% Jha sai! that in 1arbhanga6 here he as brought up6 there as a
tantrik ho as the fa(ily guru% After a theft the guru ha! calle! 4% '%6 ho as
a young boy6 an! put the eyeash kaja Mcollyriu(N on his thu(b% /e aske! hi(
to look intently at the kaja% As 4% '% looke!6 the black 8anishe! an! he sa a
(an alking toar! a haystack to hi!e so(ething% #he (an turne!6 an! the boy
sa the face clearly% 4ater6 he ha! !escribe! the face to the guru6 the thief as
apprehen!e!6 an! the ob:ect !isco8ere! in the haystack%
,n!ira tol! a story that happene! at 1. =illing!on Crescent% @arain 1utt
#iari Mho beca(e chief (inister of "ttar Pra!eshN ha! brought a (an !resse!
in a si(ple dhoti an! kurta to see ,n!ira% /e as knon as Balti Baba$ or the
Bucket Sage%$ /e aske! for a bucket of ater an! suggeste! that ,n!ira rite a
Cuestion on paper% As she as hesitant6 @arain 1utt #iari rote out the
Cuestion in /in!i6 fol!e! it6 an! place! it belo the bucket% Balti Baba then
1
A non*(ulberry silkG the cocoons of tussar are reare! on trees an! gathere! by tribal (en an! o(en to
be sol! in tribal (arkets%
aske! for another clean sheet of paper an! so(e (ilk% #he paper as place! in
the ater ithin the bucket an! (ilk as poure! o8er the ater an! paper% #hey
aite! for about to (inutes% #he paper as then taken out of the ater% =riting
in /in!i ha! appeare! on both si!es of the paper% #hough s(u!ge!6 it as easy
to rea! an! ha! gi8en a rele8ant anser to the Cuestion% Balti Baba sai! this
capacity or siddhi ha! co(e to hi( ithout his ha8ing perfor(e! any (e!itati8e
practices% ,t as the ill of the go!!ess an! coul! !isappear as easily as it as
gi8en to hi(% /e as hu(ble about his poers an! reiterate! that he as in no
ay responsible for hat ha! happene!%
Soon it as (y turn% , recounte! the strange happenings in /i((at @i8as6
1ongersey ?oa!6 hen 'rishna:i as staying there as (y guest% -ne (orning
to (en !resse! in saffron robes knocke! at the !oor% -ne as ol! an! alke!
ith the ai! of a stickG the other as young% #he young (an sai! that they ha!
co(e fro( ?ishikesh an! ere going on a pilgri(age to ?a(esara(% As they
ere alking along ?i!ge ?oa! in Bo(bay6 the ol!er sannyasi6 ho as
renone! for his insights6 ha! felt the presence of a profoun!ly great Being in
the neighborhoo!% /e ha! co(e to this house6 the presence of the Being
illu(inating his ay% /e tol! (e he ante! to (eet the 3ahat(a ho !elt
ithin% 'noing 'rishna:i>s attraction for the saffron robe6 , aske! the( to co(e
in an! spoke to 'rishna:i6 ho i((e!iately ca(e out of his roo( an! sat ith
the( on a (at%
'rishna:i hel! the han! of the ol! sannyasi% 7or a hile they sat silently6 then
the ol! (an turne! to (e an! sai!6 1aughter6 get (e so(e ater%$ , brought a
bottle of ater an! so(e glasses% /e then aske! (e to get a thai6 a (etal
container6 an! to pour the ater o8er his han!s so that it collecte! in the 8essel%
/e then aske! us to sip the ater% #o (y a(aDe(ent6 'rishna:i sippe! itG the
thai as passe! roun! an! e8eryone ha! a sip% ,t as plain ater% #hen the
sadhu aske! (e to thro aay the ater an! repeate! again the pouring of the
ater o8er his han!s into the 8essel% /e again aske! us to sipG an! hen , taste!
the ater6 , foun! it ha! the fragrance an! taste of roseater% @o one co((ente!%
#he ol! sannyasi then turne! to (e an! sai!6 'akshina do6 ;i8e (e al(s%$ ,
felt annoye!G but as 'rishna:i6 ho as obser8ing closely6 as present6 , felt ,
coul! not refuse% So , ga8e hi( )< rupees% /e sai!6 @o6 gi8e (e a hun!re!%$ By
no6 , as Cuite angry an! felt , as being !upe!G , sa that 'rishna:i as
atching (e% So , ga8e the ol! (an 1<< rupees% As , han!e! it o8er6 the
sannyasi han!e! back the (oney6 saying6 #ake it back6 !aughter% , as testing
you%$ ,((e!iately6 (y ,n!ian backgroun! respon!e!% , tol! hi( that once
dakshina ha! been gi8en6 it coul! ne8er be taken back%
#he ol! sadhu sai!6 , a( please! ith you6 ask for hate8er you ish%$ #he
offer as terrifying% , sai!6 #here is nothing , ant%$ #he ol! (an blesse! (e6
then turne! to Sunan!a% &ou ha8e no chil!renHask for a chil!%$ ,t as true she
ha! longe! for a chil!6 but she too replie!6 Sa(i:i6 , !o not ish for anything%$
/e then turne! to Balasun!ara( an! sai!6 &ou too !on>t ha8e a chil!% Ask%$
Balasun!ara( as !aDe! an! shook his hea!% 'rishna:i ha! been atching ith
great intensity%
An! no the ol! sannyasi turne! to 'rishna:i6 bent lo6 aske! for his
blessing6 (a!e his pranams6 an! sai! he oul! resu(e his :ourney% After the to
saffron*robe! sa(is left6 'rishna:i turne! to (e an! sai!6 1i! you taste the
roseater5$ All of us sai! e ha! felt its fragrance an! its taste% 'rishna:i sai!6
/o !i! the ol! boy !o it5 , as atching hi( closely% /e coul! not ha8e
intro!uce! anything into the ater%$
,n!ira lingere! after !inner6 loath to lea8e% But it as late6 an! soon she sai!
goo!bye to 'rishna:i an! ent ho(e% /e as s(iling an! happy for her%
,n!ira rote to 'rishna:i in June 198.% #he letter ent astray6 an! she rote
again in July%
1ear ?especte! 'rishna:i6
Pupul has sent (e your letter of the .1st June% , a( sorry that (y pre8ious one !i! not reach
you% Apparently6 the British !o not li8e up to the i(age of their efficiency hich they ha8e
propagate! in ,n!ia%
#here as nothing (uch in the letter% Just (y !eep appreciation of your concern an! , a(
!eeply in nee! of it :ust no% #his is a !epressing ti(e% /as the orl! co(e to a !ea! en!5
3ore an! (ore people are realising hat is rong an! hat can be !one% &et6 e !rift in the
opposite !irection% A han!ful of people ha8e the poer to affect the li8es of all other (illions
ho inhabit this earth% #he fe are too rappe! up in the(sel8es an! hat they consi!er their
i((e!iate interests in ter(s of place an! ti(e6 an! the (any are illing to be pushe! along in
the illusion that they are free an! gui!ing their on li8es% #he orl! nee!s your spirit of
co(passion an! !irection to look ithin the(sel8es an! the courage to act accor!ingly%
=ith ar( regar!s6
&ours sincerely6
,n!ira
,n!ira as to 8isit the "nite! States% Before she left she ha! gone on a short
holi!ay ith the fa(ily to 'ash(ir% #he a8e of !espair ha! been !issipate!%
She rote to (e6 , took the fa(ily up to 'ash(ir for a couple of !ays% Actually6
there as only one full !ay of hat can be calle! rest an! relaBation but it as a
on!erful change% =e staye! out at 1achiga(Ha sanctuary6 !i! a lot of alking
an! stalke! il! bear in the forest% Besi!es6 the beauty of the 8alley is in itself a
tonic% , ha! to brief (eetings ith Pan!it 4aB(an Joo% #he first ti(e6 he
offere! (e his usual Paratha an! se8eral Bulbuls ca(e to sit on (y shoul!er an!
knee to share it%$
By early @o8e(ber 198. 'rishna:i as back in @e 1elhi% /e as to (eet
,n!ira again at !inner at 11 Saf!ar:ung ?oa!% ?a:i8 ha! acco(panie! his (other%
Aarlier she ha! tol! (e that6 for the last fe eeks6 she ha! not been able to
sleep an! as aking beteen to an! three e8ery (orning6 ith a feeling of
great uneasiness% #here ere ru(ors in 1elhi that her opponents ha! been
in!ulging in all (anner of plots an! black (agical rites to !estroy her% 7or three
nights she ha! !rea(e! of an ol!6 hi!eous hag ho ishe! to har( her but coul!
not succee!6 for a lu(inous being ith a bear! as protecting her%
,n!ira ante! to see 'rishna:i once again before he left 1elhi three !ays later%
#he (eeting as !ifficult to arrange6 as 'rishna:i as gi8ing his public talks on
the neBt to !ays% ,t as finally !eci!e! that he oul! go to her resi!ence to
(eet her after his last talk on Sun!ay% =e ere 8ery surprise!6 as he ne8er ent
anyhere after a talk%
,n!ira as aiting for hi( that Sun!ay e8ening% 1uring their con8ersation6
she sai! that the uneasiness that oke her at night ha! !isappeare! an! so ha! the
!rea(s% She as sleeping soun!ly% #he at(osphere in the house ha! gron Cuiet%
'rishna:i as to co((ent on it to (e later% 1uring the (eeting6 'rishna:i aske!
her hether she as securely guar!e!% She replie! there ere 8ast nu(bers of
guar!s6 but she as certain that 8ery fe of the( oul! risk their li8es to protect
her%
'rishna:i soon left 1elhi for 3a!ras% ,n!ira rote to hi(6 Cuestioning hi( on
the nature of truth an! reality% /e ha! respon!e! i((e!iately% , !o not kno
hether the correspon!ence ent any further6 but it as clear the inner enCuiry
that ha! been !or(ant in ,n!ira for years as reaakening%
7or ,n!ira6 1980 as a year of !estiny% She as to play a 8ital role on the
orl! stageG but ithin ,n!ia6 stor(s ere gathering% #he countries bor!ering on
,n!ia ere in fer(ent% As ,n!ira>s horiDons eBten!e!6 the bur!ens an!
responsibilities increase!G an! ith it ca(e eBtraor!inary !e(an!s on her ti(e
an! energy% #o (eet this challenge6 fro( June 1980 she ha! i(pose! a rigorous
!iscipline on her bo!y6 eating frugally to strip herself of e8ery eBtra ounce% /er
energy as legen!aryHher ork !ay stretche! to o8er eighteen hours%
ABCuisitely groo(e!6 to sil8er streaks of hair sept back fro( her forehea!6
gi8ing the sli(6 taut bo!y !ignity an! elegance%
/er speech reflecte! her e8er*eBten!ing concerns% Aare of the
unprece!ente! crisis that threatene! to annihilate the orl!6 there as a
passionate urgency in her call for total !isar(a(ent% 7ro( insights gleane! in
solitu!e6 she 8oice! her concern for those essential links nee!e! to bin! the orl!
an! its resources into one unfrag(ente! hole%
/u(anity6 heritage6 ecology ere or!s that ha! acCuire! for her a ne an!
poignant (eaning% #he protecti8e alls that she ha! built aroun! her in her
chil!hoo! ha! been brokenG she as 8ulnerable an! aake%
By the inter of 1980 it as apparent that the country as to face gra8e
!angers% #he proble( of Pun:ab as beco(ing increasingly serious% 'rishna:i
ha! (et ,n!ira in early @o8e(ber6 an! they ha! talke! at length% At ?ishi Falley
he ga8e (e a letter to gi8e to her6 along ith a parcel of custar! apples% She
replie! on 1ece(ber .66 19802
?especte! 'rishna:i6
Pupul brought your greetings an! the custar! apples% Sustenance for the soul an! the bo!yQ
#hank you for the thought%
, !on>t kno hat to rite because , a( so full of anguish% , ha8e the feeling that , ha8e
straye! onto an unknon planet% A!8ice an! the !esire to !o(inate ha8e been ith us since the
orl! began6 or rather since the hu(an race began6 but ne8er on this scale an! at such peril%
&et6 ho (any care for anything but the i((e!iate an! they !o not e8en try to un!erstan! that%
So (any people co(e to your lectures but hat !o they !o afterar!s5 At ho(e or at ork5 ,t
is in!ee! !ifficult to keep hope or faith%
, ha! (eant only to let you kno that , ha! recei8e! your (essage an! ho (uch your
thoughts (ean to (e% ,>( sorry6 ,>8e ra(ble! on6 at the sa(e ti(e there are fe people to
ho( one can talk an! ith you one !oes not nee! to talk%
, treasure our brief (eetings%
=ith ar( regar!s an! goo! ishes6
,n!ira
=ith the ine8itability of epic trage!y6 her life as (o8ing toar!s its !estiny%
1eeply aare of the !irection an! flo of e8ents6 'rishna:i reache! out to her to
con8ey the !epth of his feeling an! concern% /e offere! to co(e to see her at any
ti(e6 if it oul! help%
3y !ear ,n!ira:i6
, as so gla! to get your letter hich Pupul:i brought a fe !ays ago%
, a( 8ery sorry in!ee! that you are !isturbe! an! !istresse!% #he orl! is upsi!e !on6
terrible things are happeningG threat of nuclear ar6 (ur!er6 torture6 an! all the unspeakable
things that are taking place% ,t is all beco(ing (ore an! (ore insane6 an! , a( (ost concerne!
that you are in8ol8e! in all this%
As you ill not be able to rea! (y han!riting6 , hope you ill not (in! (y resorting to a
typeriter%
,f it is any ay6 in any ay6$ helpful to you6 ,>ll co(e to 1elhi% Pupul:i an! , ha8e talke!
the (atter o8er% , a( lea8ing ,n!ia on the 1)th of 7ebruary% Pupul:i can alays gi8e you (y
progra((e%
, hope you are ell%
Please accept (y lo8e%
J% '%
, took the letter to her% She put it asi!e to rea! later an! e talke! for a hile%
/er energy as at an ebb an! she spoke of the !angers that lay ahea!% She ha!
pre(onitions of !isaster an! spoke of forces seeking to !estabiliDe the country%
-utar!ly6 she as cal(6 an! , co((ente! on it% She replie!6 At ti(es the
sea has no ripple6 but !eep ithin it are stor(y (o8e(ents%$
She ha! not seen her gran!son Farun for nearly a year6 an! , as aare of the
sorro the separation ha! e8oke! in her% After San:ay>s !eath6 for the tenty
(onths Farun ha! spent in the house6 he ha! slept in his gran!(other>s roo(G ,
ha! sat ith her hen she playe! catch ith the chil!6 acte! the gran!(other6
cu!!le! hi(6 an! spoke baby talk ith hi(% She refuse! to a!(it it6 but the
!ecision of 3aneka to !eny the chil! all 8isits to her after 3arch 1980 ha!
oun!e! her !eeply%
She rote to 'rishna:i on January .96 an! , took the letter ith (e to
Bo(bay%
?especte! 'rishna:i6
#hank you so (uch for your letter%
,t is (ost consi!erate of you to offer to co(e to 1elhi% , a( truly o8erhel(e!% 3eeting
you is a special eBperience6 but , oul! feel guilty asking you to interrupt your progra((e in
3a!ras to co(e here hen e are in the (i!st of a col! a8e% , shoul! certainly ha8e foun!
ti(e for you but these to (onths are particularly rushe! ones for (e ith (any for(al
functions an! 8isitors%
@o !ay goes by ithout so(e nes hich a!!s to one>s concern for the future% #he
A(erican scientist6 Prof% 3orrison6 has been eBplaining to (e in greater !etail the i(plications
of the nuclear inter%$
, shall be in Bo(bay for a @a8al function on Sun!ay6 the 1.th an! 3on!ay6 the 10th
7ebruary% ,f it is con8enient to you6 , coul! !rop in on the 1.th after 8%<< p%(% or on the 10th
after 6%<< p%(%
, hope you are keeping ell%
=ith ar( regar!s6
,n!ira
'rishna:i as staying at Sterling Apart(ents6 Pe!!ar ?oa!6 Bo(bay6 here
,n!ira ca(e to see hi( on the e8ening of 7ebruary 10% She spent a little o8er an
hour ith hi(% /e ca(e !on in the lift to see her to her car6 an! hel! her to
han!s as they parte!% #his as the last ti(e they ere to (eet%
#he situation in Pun:ab6 alrea!y (urky6 soon eBplo!e!% #hreats to the life of
,n!ira ;an!hi an! her son ?a:i8 ha! starte! pouring in% By 7ebruary6 ith the
(ur!er of Atal6 a senior police officer6 as he as lea8ing the ;ol!en #e(ple
after offering prayers6 the situation beca(e critical% By early April , as in
=ashington6 1%C%G 'rishna:i ha! arri8e! in @e &ork6 here he as to gi8e
talks% , tol! hi( o8er the phone of !e8elop(ents in ,n!ia%
/e aske! (e hether he shoul! speak to ,n!ira ;an!hi on the telephone% 3y
nephe Asit Chan!(al as in @e &ork ith hi(6 an! finally6 after (uch
!ifficulty6 he got through to her% 'rishna:i ha! ne8er learne! to speak on the
telephone6 an! the con8ersation !i! not procee! 8ery farG but he sent ,n!ira his
lo8e an! she respon!e! ith !eep e(otion% , spoke to her shortly afterar!G she
thanke! (e o8er an! o8er an! o8er again%
, as to hea! a !elegation to 1elphi6 ;reece6 to atten! a se(inar on culture to
be hel! there in early June% #he night before (y !eparture6 , hear! ,n!ira speak
on tele8ision% 7ro( the supre(e gra8ity of her speech an! the tone of her 8oice6 ,
sense! that the country as to go through fire in the near future% , aske! (y
secretary to cancel (y !eparture to Athens6 as , felt , shoul! not lea8e 1elhi% #he
neBt !ay , ha! a phone call fro( 1haan6 ,n!ira>s personal assistant% /e sai! the
pri(e (inister ante! to kno hy , ha! not gone to Athens% , sai! , oul!
eBplain hen , sa her that e8ening%
=hen , (et her6 she as insistent that , go% A8erything is all right6 Pupul6$
she sai!% ;o%$ She ha! a letter hich she ha! ritten to the presi!ent of ;reece6
an! aske! (e to !eli8er it to hi( ith her personal greetings% , (et her again the
e8ening before (y !eparture% She as !etache! an! Cuiet% , ha! a feeling that the
critical !ecision ha! been takenG ha8ing taken it6 she ha! steppe! back6 for the
future as no longer ithin her control% , sat in her roo( an! e spoke of ;reece
Hits art6 its transfor(ing light6 an! the beauty of its lan!scapes% 4ater6 , ha!
!inner ith the fa(ily% =hen , reache! ?o(e the neBt !ay6 it as to hear that
troops ha! entere! the ;ol!en #e(ple%
-ctober is a ten!er (onth in 1elhi% #he !a(p heat anes an! (orning !e
ushers in the inter% =ar( shals e(erge fro( clo8e*scente! rappers6 an!
festi8als celebrate the har8ests of the fiel!s of the 8ast countrysi!e%
, sa ,n!ira se8eral ti(es !uring -ctober 198+6 the last (onth of her life% =e
sat together in her stu!y6 she as at peace ith herself6 ha! lai! asi!e her bur!ens
an! barriers% 1uring the last fe eeks she ha! once again been (eeting
physicists6 philosophers6 an! poets an!6 on @o8e(ber 06 she as to lunch at (y
house ith 'rishna:i an! the 1alai 4a(a% 7or her6 this (onth as an inter8al6 an
in*beteen (onth6 a perio! for renealG for6 by @o8e(ber6 preparations for the
election oul! co((ence% #hat e8ening e !iscusse! sy(bols6 an! , tol! her of
the Bha!rakali Shrine in @orth Canara Mthe local na(e for the est coast of
'arnataka an! @orth 'eralaN6 here there as no i(age or icon% #he great
3other as energy as sy(boliDe! ithin the shrine as a highly polishe! bronDe
(irror in hich the orshiper sa his or her on face reflecte!6 igniting a
:ourney into the pathays of self*knoing% A :ourney of austerity an! alonenessG
for there as no other6 neither go! nor guru%
#he sy(bolis( arouse! her% She as Cuick to respon!6 refreshe! fro(
eBposure to a ne (o8e(entG a fresh spring% Aake to inti(ations6 a (e(ory
arose an! she starte! speaking of a !ay in her life hen she felt an o8erhel(ing
surge of :oy% ,t ha! no cause6 but the eBplosion as of such intensity that she felt
the earth oul! open an! sallo her up% #he ecstasy ha! transfor(e! her face6
an! people co((ente! that she looke! ra!iant% =hen she felt that she oul!
!isappear into the earth6 it as not a !eath ish% She sai! she ha! ne8er been
afrai! of !ying at any age% , ha8e felt it as a natural process6 a part of life% -ne
li8es a certain nu(ber of years6 an! then you !ie$Hshe as not afrai!% She spoke
of a nee! to return to rootsG of ,n!ian thought that (aintaine! light is ithin
you6$ an! the nee! to fin! a ay to !isco8er it%
, sa her for the last ti(e on the e8ening of -ctober .6% She as to 8isit
Srinagar the neBt (orning% She ha! ne8er been there in autu(n6 an! she as
eagerly looking forar! to seeing the chinar lea8es change color% She ante! to
lie in the sun an! see the green of the leaf turn rust6 8er(ilion6 an! gol!G the
bron of a falling leaf% Perhaps it as the en! of life in the leaf that (a!e her
pursue the Cuestion of !eath% 7or as she (use! she sai!6 3y father lo8e! ri8ers6
but , a( a !aughter of the /i(alayas an! , ha8e tol! (y sons$Hfor a (o(ent
she appeare! to ha8e forgotten that San:ay as !ea!Hthat (y re(ains shoul!
be scattere! on the sno*tippe! /i(alayas%$ As , as lea8ing6 she calle! out to
(e6 ?e(e(ber hat , sai!6 Pupul6 re(e(ber%$
'rishna:i6 ith 3ary Si(balist6 arri8e! late that night% /e as sche!ule! to
gi8e one public talk on @o8e(ber +6 on the sa(e platfor( as the 1alai 4a(a%
@es of this talk ha! tra8ele! to (any Bu!!hist centers in ,n!ia an! abroa!6 an!
a large nu(ber of Bu!!hist (onks ere eBpecte! to atten!% -n the e8ening of
-ctober 0<6 'rishna:i6 after an early supper6 insiste! that the book , as riting
about hi( be rea! alou!% 3ary Si(balist rea! part of the book6 hich !ealt ith
the early years of his birth an! chil!hoo!% 4ater6 , took o8er%
'rishna:i ha! been totally still !uring the rea!ing% /e only interrupte! once
hen he hear! (e rea! the passage on Alcyone6 in hich , ha! sai! that the or!
Alcyone (eant kingfisher6$ the cal(er of stor(s% /e interrupte! to correct (e%
@o6$ he sai!6 it (eans Othe brightest star in the Pleia!es%> $ As the rea!ing
continue!6 the roo( aoke as if there as a presence there6 listening% As ,
continue!6 the feeling of presence as o8erpoering6 an! soon (y 8oice
stoppe!% 'rishna:i turne! to (e6 1o you feel ,t5 , coul! prostrate to ,t5$ /is
bo!y as tre(bling as he spoke of the presence that listene!% &es6 , can
prostrate to this6 that is here%$ Su!!enly he turne! an! left us alking alone to his
roo(%
,n!ira ;an!hi as shot by to of her security guar!s on -ctober 01 at 9%.<
A%3%6 as she as alking fro( her resi!ence to her office% ?i!!le! by bullets6 she
fell (ortally oun!e! to the earth6 surroun!e! by groing things% She fell close
to the gro8e of ka!a(ba saplings she ha! plante! that rainy season6 after the June
trage!y in Pun:ab%
-n hearing the nes , rushe! to her house only to fin! barriers going up%
,n!ira>s gran!chil!ren ?ahul an! Priyanka ere alone ith a frien!% #hey !i! not
Cuite kno hat ha! happene!6 but , as tol! that Sonia ha! rushe! ,n!ira to the
hospital% #he at(osphere in the house as turgi! ith an un!ercurrent of
8iolence an! fear% Shara!a Prasa!6 her Principal ,nfor(ation A!8iser6 as in the
office6 an! he tol! (e hat ha! happene!% Before going to the hospital6 , sent a
(essage back to 'rishna:i that ,n!ira ha! been shot% , returne! ho(e late at night
an! foun! 'rishna:i aiting up for (e% Seeing (e6 he took (e to his roo( an!
aske! for the !etails of hat ha! happene!% 3y fa(ily sai! that on hearing the
nes6 'rishna:i sat through the !ay in (y sitting roo( o8erlooking the gar!enG
he ha! atche! the trees an! bir!s6 har!ly speaking an! eating little% At four in
the afternoon he ha! felt ,n!ira>s presence an! ha! co((ente! on the nee! for
silence ithin the (in! to enable her to be at peace% , coul! see that he as
!eeply (o8e!% 4ate the neBt night he as to say6 1on>t hol! (e(ories of ,n!ira
in your (in!6 that hol!s her to the earth% 4et her go%$ /is han! (a!e a gesture
toar!s space an! eternity%
Part 6
#he Su((ation of
the #eaching
1998*198)
CHAPTER 32
Can &ou fro( #o!ay 4ook
at the #hirty &ears as the
Past5 @ot fro( the #hirty
&ears 4ook at #o!ay5$
,n the early su((er of 19986 , as in Anglan! at Brockoo! Park% =hile there6 ,
hel! to !ialogues ith 'rishna:i% 7ro( aroun! 199< , ha! felt a change in
'rishna:i>s teaching% /is contact ith the scientific co((unity6 in !iscussions
an! se(inars6 ha! intro!uce! into his 8ocabulary a greater precision% /e as
eBa(ining the root (eaning of or!sG carefully !efining his use of the or!s
brain6 (in!6 consciousness% /e as no longer eBploring step by step into thought
or into proble(s like fear6 :ealousy6 anger% #he eBpressions he ha! use! in the
late 19+<s an! 19)<sHthe thinker an! thought are one$G or the nee! to obser8e
thought6 see it arise6 see it !isappear6 to pursue it till it en!s$G or to listen an!
percei8e the crucial instant of the arising of thought$Here not e8i!ent in the
talks after the (i! 199<s% By 1998 he as speaking of a totality of seeing6 a
holistic seeing%
, tol! hi( that , ha! listene! to hi( for thirty years6 an! , felt that there ha!
been a change in the teachings% Coul! the holistic arise ithout step*by*step
obser8ation of consciousness5$ , aske!% /a8e you (o8e! aay5 /as there been
an unfol!ing or a change5$
'rishna:i pon!ere! (y Cuestion6 then sai!6 "nfol!ing oul! be correctG the
teaching is in the sa(e !irection6 it is holistic rather than an eBa(ination of
!etail% ,t is !irect6 si(ple6 an! co(prehensi8e%$
, aske! hether the total i((obility of the (in! he no spoke about as
possible ithout the earlier obser8ation6 Cuestioning6 eBa(ining5 'rishna:i as
listening carefully6 as he alays !i! in !ialogue% /e sai!6 #otal en!ing of
thought is i((obility6 is silenceG thought as ti(e has to stop%$
, aske! hi(6 ,f ti(e is the (o8e(ent of beco(ing6 ithout the obser8ation
of that (o8e(ent of beco(ing in consciousness6 coul! beco(ing en!5 =ithout
the thirty years of listening6 obser8ing the outer an! the inner6 coul! there be an
en! to beco(ing5 ,s there not a fun!a(ental change in the teaching5$
'rishna:i>s response as startling% /e sai!6 Can you fro( to!ay look at the
thirty years as the past5 @ot fro( the thirty years look at to!ay5$
7or a (o(ent6 , as puDDle! by the !istinctionH=ithout the yester!ay6 can
one look back at yester!ay5$
=hen you look fro( to!ay to yester!ay6 you look ith a !ifferent (in!6
ith eyes in hich you !on>t hol! yester!ay6$ he sai!%
, ha! a yester!ay6$ , sai!% #herefore6 fro( to!ay6 , can look back at the
yester!ay%$
/o !o you look at the past fro( to!ay5$ 'rishna:i aske!% ,nbuilt is
holistic seeing% #hat seeing an! listening fro( to!ay to yester!ay is i((obility%
#he present hol!s the totality of the past% ,s that so5$ 'rishna:i Cuestione!% An!
hat !o e (ean by the present5 ,s it possible to apprehen!6 ha8e an insight into
the hole i((e!iately5$ 'rishna:i as Cuestioning hi(self as his responses
arose%
=ithout the step*by*step self*knoing6 eBploration6 eBa(ination into
consciousness6 ho is it possible5$ , refuse! to (o8e aay fro( (y position%
#hen6 su!!enly6 , sa it% #o see fro( to!ay to the thirty years as to en! the
linear6 the seCuential% ,t as to see ith !epth into !epth% #o see back6 or to see
fro( the thirty years to to!ay6 as to see step*by*step6 to see ith ti(e as the
(easure%
@o6 ho shall e eBplore5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#hirty years ago you took us by the han! an! eBplore! into consciousnessG
to!ay6 you ha8e taken aay your han!6$ , sai!%
=e are (ore (ature6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
=hat has brought about that (aturity5 #he thirty years5$ , aske!%
@oHnoHno%$
, sai! , sa three !istinct perio!s in the teaching% #he early !ays6 hen
'rishna:i spoke of self*knoing6 of the thinker an! thought as one6 of free!o(
fro( :u!g(ent an! con!e(nation% ,n the 196<s he ha! (o8e! to a !enial of the
in!i8i!ual as separate fro( the strea( of hu(anityG fro( the step*by*step
approach 'rishna:i ha! (o8e! to the urgency for a re8olution in the hu(an
strea(% /e ha! stoppe! speaking of any specific proble( like gree! or hatre!% ,n
the past he ha! use! or!s such as brain6 (in!6 thought6 consciousness
interchangeably6 as the past6 as (e(ory% ,n the 199<s his ter(inology ha!
beco(e (ore precise% /e as probing into the nature of obser8ation an! the
illusion that un!erlay the !i8ision beteen the obser8er an! the obser8e!% By
1998 he appeare! to be concerne! ith uni8ersals6 an! ith a holistic perception%
=hen 'rishna:i says that holistic perception is possible no6 hat triggers
it5 =hat gi8es (aturity to the eye an! the ear to listen6 ithout the past of thirty
years5$ , aske!%
/o can a blin! (an see light5$ aske! 'rishna:i% =ithout preparation6 can
there be a holistic 8ie5 =ithout !etaile! eBploration6 can one see the totality of
all eBistence5 Can one see the holeness of consciousness5 , say6 yes6 it is
possible%$
=as the position of thirty years ago6 then6 not true5$ , aske!%
@o6 , on>t say that6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #he position then as true%$
=as the perception of the thinker an! thought as one a total perception6 as
true as this to!ay5$ , Cuestione!%
But , Cuestion hether ' ent through all that% =hat he sai! then as out of
totality as hat he says no% #hat !etaile! eBa(ination as born fro( a totality
of perception6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
, as not satisfie!6 an! pursue! the enCuiry% Can the person ho co(es to
the teaching for the first ti(e un!erstan! beco(ing6 ithout seeing beco(ing as
a (o8e(ent in consciousness5$
&ou are asking hether you ha8e to go through school6 college6 before your
final eBa(ination5$ 'rishna:i respon!e!%
, kno you ill say process is ti(e% But , say it as total then as it is no% ,f
you say that one can :ourney straight into holistic seeing as you shoe! us then6
can you sho us no5$ , challenge! 'rishna:i%
'rishna:i aske!6 Can one obser8e ithout the past5 Can one ha8e insight
ithout the eight of yester!ay5 ,nsight is instantaneous% Perception of totality is
an instant perception% ,f that is so6 hat is the nee! for preparation5$ -ne coul!
feel the tautness of the still (in!% ,nsight is possible only in the instant% #he
instant is not containe! in ti(e% U cannot see that% /e says6 O#ell (e hat to !o5>
' says6 O-bser8e the thinker an! the thought as one%> ,s U listening6 or is a
process of abstraction taking place6 hich puts U aay fro( instant perception5$
&ou (ay !eny the thirty years6 but it is there% #he (in! that has listene! for
thirty years is capable of recei8ing hat you say to!ay%$
'rishna:i aske!6 =hat is listening5 =hy ha8en>t people seen hen this
person says6 O,nstant perception is totality5> $
,t is like asking you to Ogi8e (e insight6> $ , respon!e!%
@obo!y can gi8e another insight% &ou ask6 can you gi8e it to (e5 =hat is
your reaction to the state(ent6 O@o ti(e6 no e8olution can gi8e it to you5> $
&es6 that is so6$ , sai!%
#o that ' says6 O4isten6 nobo!y can gi8e it to you%> ,f you listen6 it (ust ha8e
a tre(en!ous effect% &our hole attention is gathere! in listening% ,n listening6
there is no ti(e%$
1o you think it is possible ithout !el8ing6 ithout enCuiry6 to so listen5$ ,
aske!%
'rishna:i as speaking ith great urgency an! passion% 1el8ing on>t bring
listening% =hat has happene! to your (in! hen you listen5 ,t (eans , ha8e to
aban!on e8erything% #he hole !epen!ency , ha8e culti8ate! for (illennia%$
1o you say there has been no change in the teaching5$ , aske!%
@one at all6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#here as silence in the roo(% /as there been an inner change in you !uring
these years5$ , spoke ith great hesitation% #here as a long pause% 'rishna:i
appeare! to be looking ithin6 going !eep into hi(self%
4et (e obser8e% , ha8e ne8er been aske! this Cuestion% 7ro( the beginning
or fro( thirty years has there been an inner change5 @o6$ 'rishna:i sai!6 , think
there has been no fun!a(ental change% #hat is i((obility%$
7or so(e ti(e again there as silence% #hen 'rishna:i turne! to his personal
physician6 1r% Parchure6 an! ;% @arayan an! aske! the(6 =hat !o you say to
this state(ent that perception of the total is i((e!iate5 #hat ti(e is not
necessary% Preparation is not necessary% 1o you ask6 O=hat a( , to !o5 =hat is
the neBt instruction5> #o hich the reply oul! be Olisten%> /a8e you listene!
accurately to that state(ent5 #i(e6 preparation6 the hole process of e8olution is
unnecessary% ,f you so listen6 you ha8e the hole perception%$
/e turne! to (e% So6 Pupul:i6 the fact is6 our hole attitu!e is base! on
e8olutionHbeco(ing6 groing6 achie8ing6 ulti(ately reaching% , think that basic
assu(ption is ra!ically false%$
, see the truth of that% , can listen to that ithout a ripple in consciousness6$ ,
sai!%
,f you so listen6 hat takes place5$ Euietness floe!% -ut of great !epth
'rishna:i spoke% =hat takes place if the Bu!!ha says to (e6 Oen!ing of sorro
is the bliss of co(passion>5 , a( one of his au!ience% , !on>t eBa(ine this
state(ent% , !on>t translate the state(ent into (y ay of thinking% , a( only in a
state of acute total attention of listening% #here is nothing else% Because that
state(ent has enor(ous truth6 tre(en!ous truth% #hat is enough% #hen6 , oul!
ask the Bu!!ha6 O, a( not capable of that intense capacity of listening6 so please
help (e6> an! the response is6 O7irst listen to hat , a( saying% #here is no
outsi!e agency that the (in! or thought ha8e in8ente!%> But , a( frightene!6 for ,
see it (eans gi8ing up e8erything that , cling to% So6 , ask6 O/o a( , to be
!etache!5> #he (o(ent , say Oho6> , a( lost% /e says6 OBe !etache!6> but , a(
not listening% , ha8e great re8erence for hi(6 but , a( not listening% Because
attach(ent has a tre(en!ous place in (y life% So6 he says6 O#hro it out6 thro it
out6 in one instant%> $ /e pause! for a long ti(e% #he (o(ent you ha8e
perception into the fact you are free of the fact%$
,s it a Cuestion of seeing the totality of that state(ent of the Bu!!ha6 OBe
!etache!6> ithout the or!s5$ , aske!%
-f course6 the or! is not the thing% #he state(ent6 the floering is not the
thing% #here (ust be free!o( fro( the or!% ,ntensity of listening is the cruB of
it6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
=hat is it that gi8es one that intensity5$ , probe!%
@othing%$ #he state(ent as absolute% -ur hole ay of thinking is base!
on beco(ing6 e8ol8ing% ,t has nothing hatsoe8er to !o ith enlighten(ent%
#he (in! is hea8ily con!itione!% ,t !oes not listen% ' says so(ething totally
true% So(ething i((o8able6 irre8ocable6 an! it has tre(en!ous eight6 like a
ri8er ith 8olu(es of ater behin! it% But U !oes not listen to that eBtraor!inary
state(ent% &ou aske! a Cuestion2 O/as there been a fun!a(ental change in '
fro( the 190<s6 19+<s5>
, say6 no% #here has been consi!erable change in eBpression% @o6 if you are
listening ith intensity6 then hat takes place hen a state(ent is (a!eHthat
ti(e6 process6 e8olution6 inclu!ing knole!geHhas to be aban!one!% =ill you
listen to that5 ,f you !o6 you are actually aban!oning the(% After all6 listening6
seeing totally6 is like thun!er or lightning that !estroys e8erything% #o go through
the hole process is not to !eny this instant thing%$
#hat>s itHyou ha8e no sai! it%$
=hat5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
,t (eans going through the hole thing6 ithout !enying the instancy6$ ,
sai!% #hat !oesn>t (ean ti(e is in8ol8e!%$
But (an translates it as ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#he neBt !ay at Brockoo! e !iscusse! the possibility of !efining his ter(s
so that confusion !i! not arise a(ongst his listeners% #hrough the years (any of
his or!s ha! change! (eaning% =e began ith the or!s consciousness6
thought6 brain6 an! (in!% =e !iscusse! consciousness6 an! he aske!6 /o !o
you !efine it5$ , sai! that consciousness as the sense of eBisting6 of being% #he
sense that one is%$ =e then eBplore! the relationship of thought to
consciousness% #hought is not concerne! ith the totality of consciousness6 but
ith parts of it%$ 'rishna:i sai!%
But is it through thought that consciousness re8eals itself5 #he part is
re8eale! in the Ono> as the frag(ent6$ , respon!e!%
1oes thought re8eal the part5 #hought is a frag(ent% Can thought6 hich is a
frag(ent6 see the hole of consciousness5 O, a( hurt>Hthat feeling is a part of
consciousness% #hought is a broken piece in (o8e(ent% #hat frag(ent6 that
thought6 cannot see the hole% #hought !oes not see it is hurtG it says6 O, a( hurt%>
$ 'rishna:i as elaborating%
But that is a thought for(ation6$ , sai!%
#he na(eHthe for(Hthe en8iron(ent are the structure of the O,%> #hought
!oes not say it is hurt%$
=ho says it5$ , Cuerie!%
4ook at it factually6$ sai! 'rishna:i% , a( hurtHin eBplaining that hurt6
thought thinks it is !ifferent fro( the structure it has built6 hich is hurt% #hought
can ne8er be aare of the total content of consciousness% ,t can only be aare of
the frag(ent% =hat is the total content of consciousness5 &ou say consciousness
i(plies eBistenceHhat ill gi8e holistic (eaning to consciousness5$ 'rishna:i
aske!%
/as it a holistic (eaning5$
Consciousness is the totality of life% @ot only (y life6 your life6 but the life
of the ani(al6 the treeG the totality of all life6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
&ou are using the or! consciousness 8ery !ifferently to hat you sai! in
the early 19)<s%$
&es6 , a( (o8ing aay fro( hat , ha! sai! earlier6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
,s consciousness the totality of life5$ , enCuire! again%
, a( feeling aroun!% , a( asking6 is consciousness the totality of life5 , think
consciousness can be global6 but it is still li(ite!%$ 'rishna:i as probing%
=hat you say is 8ery ne% Can e pursue it5 Consciousness is the totality of
life% ,s it !ifferent fro( (y eBperience of life5$
&our eBperience of life is the eBperience of e8ery hu(an being% ,t (ay ha8e
!ifferent colors6 but it has the sa(e !irection% &our life is the life of (an6 of
hu(anity6 basically you are not !ifferent fro( (ankin!% &our consciousness is
the consciousness of (ankin!% 3ankin! goes through tra8ailH1oesn>t
e8erything go through tra8ailHthe ani(al6 all nature5$
1o you (ean consciousness is the hole pheno(enon of lifeHof
eBistence5$
=hat !o you (ean by pheno(enon5$ 'rishna:i as still looking into the
Cuestion%
#hat hich can be percei8e! by the senses%$
#hat is only part of it6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is the other part5$ , aske!%
All accu(ulate! knole!ge6 eBperience6 the psychological agonies of (an
hich you cannot touch or taste% Psychological tur(oil6 anBiety can affect the
organis( of (an an! plant% #hat is the process of (ankin!% ,t is global% ,t is the
co((on fate of (an%$
/o can thought be aare of the totality of consciousness5$
'rishna:i pause! to let the Cuestion sink in% ,f thought cannot be aare6 then
hat percei8es the totality5 #here (ust co(e into operation a factor that sees the
totality% ,f it is not thoughtH,s it the (in!5 ,s it the brain cells5$
As they eBist to!ay6 the brain cells carry (e(ory% #he brain as it is6 cannot
percei8e the totality of consciousness6$ , ansere!%
As thought cannot see it% #he (o8e(ent of the brain cannot co(prehen!
totality% Can the (in! percei8e totality5 #hen hat is the (in!5 Pupul:i6 let us be
(ore tactile% 7in! out hether there is a (o8e(ent beyon! consciousness% 1o e
un!erstan! the (o8e(ent of thought as an acti8ity of the brain5 ,s it that a part of
the thinking ithin the brain fabricates a perception that is beyon! this
consciousness5 , !on>t think it can see that as it is Ono%> $ /e pause!% =hat is
the (in!5 ,s the (in! intellect5 Part of it is6 of course6 the intellect% Can the
intellect percei8e5$
,s intellect separate fro( thought5$ , aske!%
,t is not% ,ntellect is the (ost eBtraor!inary thing e ha8e% =e orship the
intellect6 but can it percei8e the totality of consciousness5 #he intellect is the
pro!uct of thought% Can the (in! percei8e the totality5$ 'rishna:i as still
probing%
&ou are using (in! as if it ere an instru(ent% &ou say it can percei8e% ,s
the (in! an instru(ent or a fiel!5$
,s the (in! the fiel!5 ,s it the hole fiel!Hor part of the fiel!5$
1oes the (in! inclu!e intellect6 an! hat part !o the senses play5$ , aske!%
, !on>t think e(otionsHsensationHcan possibly bring about a perception of
the hole%$
=oul! you rule out the place of the senses as such5$
@o6 , !on>t rule the( out%$
Are they being rongly use!5$ , aske!%
=hen thought i!entifies itself ith sensation6 then it beco(es the O(e6> $
sai! 'rishna:i% &ou say the (in! is the fiel!6 the (atriB% A fiel! circu(scribe!%
#he (in! inclu!es the brain6 thought6 e(otion6 intellect% ,s ti(e part of the fiel!
Hpart of the (in!5$ 'rishna:i as eBten!ing the area of in8estigation% ,f ti(e is
not part of (y (in!6 is sensation part of (in!5$
Are e !iscussing senses i!entifie! ith !esire buil!ing up the structure of
the self6 or ha8e the senses any other role5$ , aske!%
&es% , see the ger( of hat it is% #o obser8e ith all your sensesHin that
there is no i!entification% #he Cuestion is6 can you look ith all your senses
aakene!5$
Can you look an! listen in one instant of ti(e5$ , aske!% ,s it possible to
obser8e ith all your senses6 an! in that state is there any (o8e(ent of thought
at all5$
'rishna:i continue! to probe as he Cuestione!% =hen there is (o8e(ent of
thought6 then it is one particular sense operating% Can , fin! out if there is a
totally !ifferent !i(ension5 A state here consciousness as e kno it ceases5$
&ou ha8e eBa(ine! an! negate! all the knon instru(ents e ha8e% #he
only instru(ent you !o not negate is the (o8e(ent of the sensory%$
/o can , negate the senses5$ 'rishna:i spoke%
,t is the senses that (ay ha8e the capacity to be free fro( illusion%$
#his is only possible hen the sensory as i!entification ith thought is
un!erstoo!% #hen the senses !o not pro!uce the psychological structure6 as the
O(e%> #he (o8e(ent of thought6 e(otions6 as fear6 hate6 attach(ent6 are going on
in the brain en!lessly% =e ant to bring about or!er in it% =hat instru(ent or
Cuality is necessary to (o8e out of this enchaining circle of consciousness5$
'rishna:i aske!%
#he last Cuestion is 8ery 8ali!%$
, a( trying to con8ey that there (ust be total or!er for the cos(ic to be% ,
see that there is total !isor!er in e8ery!ay life% -r!er is necessary% =hat ill
bring or!er5$
#here is only one instru(ent hich has a possibility of being free of taint%$
#he senses5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
-therise you ha8e blocke! e8ery instru(ent the brain has%$
/a8e e not also blocke! the senses5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
3y !aughter ?a!hika ha! been abroa! since 19)9Hfirst as a stu!ent an!6
after her (arriage6 as a resi!ent in the "nite! States an! later in #oronto6 Cana!a%
/er roots ere !eep in ,n!ia an! in 'rishna:i>s teaching6 ho( she ha! listene!
to fro( the age of ten% #he essence of hat he ha! sai! ha! been hel! ithin her
through the years ith a si(plicity an! a chil!like Cuality% She ha! occasional
(eetings ith 'rishna:i in ,n!ia an! the "nite! States6 but in a gesture of self*
protection she ha! kept aay fro( hi(6 to conser8e the ay of life to hich she
as co((itte!% 3arrie! to a professor6 she ha! li8e! in a orl! of scholarship
an! books% But6 !eep ithin her6 she as aare of the (e!iocrity of her life an!
8aluesG an i((ense nostalgia for the lu(inosity hich she as letting go by as
!eep ithin her%
,n 1ece(ber 1998 she ca(e ith her to !aughters to ?ishi Falley to be
ith 'rishna:i6 an! returne! in the inter of 1999% She (et 'rishna:i se8eral
ti(esG he o8erhel(e! her by his attention an! she as profoun!ly (o8e! by his
presence%
,n 198< an! 1981 her husban!6 /ans /erDberger6 acco(panie! her to ,n!ia6
an! she li8e! an! taught in ?ishi Falley% ,t as !uring this perio! that she
!iscusse! ith 'rishna:i the possibility of her return to ,n!ia an! to ?ishi Falley%
, kept out of the talks6 as , !i! not ish (y attach(ent to her to clou! her
!ecision% /er husban!6 co(prehen!ing the goo!ness in ?a!hika an! sensiti8e to
the at(osphere that e(anate! fro( ?ishi Falley6 agree! to ork on the
(o!alities of her co(ing to ,n!ia% 'rishna:i !i! not influence her6 but spoke to
her at length of her life an! the teaching% ?a!hika an! her fa(ily ent fro( ?ishi
Falley to -Bfor!% She 8isite! Brockoo! Park se8eral ti(es6 (eeting 'rishna:i%
/er !ecision to return to ,n!ia as fir(% By the spring of 198. she ha!
co(plete! her Ph%1% in Sanskrit an! Bu!!hist Stu!ies6 an! by the autu(n of
198. she as in ?ishi Falley% /er husban! ha! co(e to an arrange(ent ith his
uni8ersity to teach for one ter( an! to spen! the secon! ter( !oing research in
his on fiel!6 hich as philosophy%
,n the last four years a nu(ber of young6 highly Cualifie! people ha8e :oine!
the schoolsH?ishi FalleyG the Falley School in BangaloreG ?a:ghat6 FaranasiG
#he School in 3a!rasG an! Bal Anan!6 the school for un!erpri8ilege! chil!ren in
Bo(bay6 hich @an!ini has run for the last thirty years% A ne aakening is
e8i!ent%
CHAPTER 33
Anergy ,s Cos(os6 ,t ,s
Also Chaos% #hat ,s the
Source of Creation%$
'rishna:i returne! alone to ,n!ia in early @o8e(ber 1999% =e ere at the
threshol! of a pi8otal !eca!e% ,n the 198<s the orl! as to change
trau(atically% A re8olution as taking place in the en8iron(ent an! in the (in!s
of hu(ankin!% #he search for artificial intelligence as soon to beco(e a central
concern of technological researchG (icrochips oul! beco(e cheap to pro!uce6
lea!ing to a re8olution in co((unicationsG genetic engineering an! cloning ere
to (ake rapi! a!8ances6 clou!ing the future of (an6 yet pro(ising great benefits
to (ankin!% #he tools for untol! goo! or e8il ere a8ailable%
, :oine! 'rishna:i in 3a!ras% Asit Chan!(al as there6 so ere the
Patar!hans6 ?a!ha Burnier6 an! Ahalya Chari6 a ell*knon e!ucator ho left
her go8ern(ent post in the 199<s to :oin the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation% #he
instant e sa 'rishna:i e felt the poer of his presence an! the en!less energy
floing fro( hi(% /is (in! appeare! to ha8e eight an! !ensity an! an
i((ense i((obility% , ha! seen the e(phasis of his teaching change o8er the
years% #he urgency ha! shifte! fro( in!i8i!ual transfor(ation6 to the Cuestioning
of the fact of in!i8i!uality6 an! a positing of a strea( of hu(an consciousness in
hich !eep re8olution ha! to take place% #o hi( the in!i8i!ual as one ho
steppe! out of the strea(%
@o perception ha! sept asi!e all li(itations6 to inclu!e the uni8erse an! its
boun!less energy%
A8en though he ha! flon nonstop fro( 4on!on 8ia 1elhi to 3a!ras6 he !i!
not appear fatigue!6 but as eager to begin !iscussions ith us% #hat afternoon at
lunch6 e starte! to talk%
#he Cuestion pose! as6 =hat is the one thing , oul! !e(an!6 seeing the
!egeneration in ,n!ia5 ,s it possible to help5 =hat is the central thing5$ #he
con8ersation then (o8e! aroun! the table to an i!entification of the proble(%
'rishna:i sai!6 ,n!ia has li8e! all these centuries on i!eas% She has to (o8e fro(
a life base! on i!eas6 hich are non*facts6 to seeing of fact only%$ /e then aske!6
/o !i! this boy get it5$ =e sa that there as no point in gi8ing
eBplanations% #he eight an! !ensity of the Cuestion as (eant to be hel! in the
(in! ithout the (in! searching for solution%
'rishna:i as Cuestioning the proble( of ,n!iaG but the at(osphere beca(e
so charge! that one sa that ,n!ia as oneself6 an! that he as a!!ressing the
Cuestion to each one ho listene!% 7or you$ ere ,n!ia%
By @o8e(ber .86 19996 e ere in ?ishi Falley% ?a!ha Burnier ha! co(e
fro( 3a!ras to spen! a fe !ays ith us% 'rishna:i at breakfast one (orning
aske! ?a!ha Burnier hether she as stan!ing for presi!ent of the #heosophical
Society% She sai! she !i! not kno% /e sai!6 =hat !o you (ean by you !o not
kno5$
Su!!enly6 the at(osphere gre charge! ith a ne energy% 'rishna:i sai!6
3rs% Besant inten!e! the lan! at A!yar to be (eant for the teaching% #he
#heosophical Society has faile!6 the original purpose is !estroye!%$ /e spoke of
the true religious spirit that probe!6 Cuestione!6 an! negate!% /e sai! A(erica
ha! not got it% Aurope ha! not got it% ,n ,n!ia it ha! been ipe! out an!
!estroye!% &et it as there in ,n!ia6 aiting in the soil% Can e !o so(ething
about it5$ he aske!%
7or the first ti(e the e(phasis as not on the in!i8i!ual6 but on lan!6 the
earthHthe physical lan! of ,n!ia an! the sacre!ness of it an! the capacity for it
to hol! the source of creation% ,t as as if 'rishna:i ha! foun! so(ething
preciousG there as great :oyousness in hi(6 as if the long*aaite! ti(e ha!
co(e% =e har!ly spoke% /e turne! to us6 searching for confir(ation% Pupul:i6$
he Cuestione! hat !o you feel5$ =hen , sai! that this as a ne (ystiCue6 he
!i! not !eny it% 4ater he again spoke of the #heosophical Society an! of ?a!ha
Burnier beco(ing presi!ent% , aske! hi(6 At one point you say that ?a!ha is
!eeply in the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 at another point you say that she shoul!
stan! for presi!entship of the #heosophical Society% /o !o you reconcile these
to state(ents5$
/e sai!6 , can say it6 others can>t%$ /e repeate!6 , can say anything%$ ,t
re(in!e! (e of the 8erse fro( Brihadaranyaka 5panishad hich6 speaking of
the illu(ine! one6 says6 #herefore let a Brah(ana after he has !one ith
learning6 !esire to li8e as a chil!% =hen he has !one ith the state of chil!hoo!
an! ith learning then he beco(es the silent (e!itator% /a8ing !one ith the
(e!itati8e an! non(e!itati8e states then he beco(es a Brah(ana% /oe8er he
beha8es he is such in!ee!%$
'rishna:i ent on to speak of ,n!ia as the groun! on hich the sacre! coul!
floer6 though it ha! been !estroye! by the ugliness of politics6 corruption6 an!
!estruction of 8alues% ,n!ia as the groun! here the see! ha! been son% ,n
spite of all that ha! happene!6 the groun! as still there% /e sai! he felt
so(ething as aiting% , aske! if the groun! he spoke of as physical groun!6 or
!i! he (ean so(ething else5 /e sai! he (eant the earth an! the sacre!ness of it%
/e felt that this groun! ha! been prepare!%
#he at(osphere as pulsating6 strong6 ali8e% At one point he sai!6 #hey
foun! (e to angelsH, ha8e gathere! (any (ore through the years%$ /e as
laughingG there as great laughter6 an! in beteen he kept on saying6 , a( 8ery
serious%$ /e ha! not laughe! like this in years% @o , fin! that , can !o ithout
so(e of the(%$ /e turne! to ?a!ha an! sai!6 Can , gi8e you to5$ /e as
laughing6 :oyous6 but !eeply serious6 suggesting so(ething%
/e sai! (any people ha! tol! hi( not to co(e to ,n!ia% /e ha! alays felt
the sacre!ness of the lan! an! ha! lo8e! to co(e% So(ething ha! been !estroye!
in ,n!ia6 but a presence aite! in the lan!% #he bene!iction of the ti(eless is
aiting6 the groun! is rea!y% Can e create so(ething that is of this
bene!iction5$
=hat ca(e through as a !epth an! i((ensity% ,t as a prophecy that a
sacre! energy as ali8e again in the ,n!ian soil%
A8ery (orning at the breakfast table6 Cuestions ere aske! an! insight
floe!% =e probe!6 pause!6 Cuestione!% 'rishna:i>s (in! as i((ense an!
charge! ith (ystery% -ne (orning6 speaking ith great intensity6 'rishna:i
con8eye! a ay of perception6 of challenge an! response fro( a state that lay
beyon! the (in!6 beyon! brain6 (e(ory6 all responses of consciousness% A state
that co(es into being in listening at great !epthG here consciousness an! its
(o8e(ent !o not obstruct% A state here seeing is hole6 inclusi8e6
nonfrag(ente!6 a state of no (o8e(ent fro( or toar!sG beyon! (atriB an! all
racial (e(ories of (an%$ 'rishna:i also spoke of (in! hich co(es into being
hen there is co(plete trust% #his as only possible hen the (in! ha! she! all
bur!ens6 as free% #his state is not a state of the en!ing of thought6$ sai!
'rishna:i% ,t is not the gap beteen thoughts6 but a listening that has the hole
eight an! !epth of the (illion years of (an6 an! goes beyon!% A state that can
be touche! at any instant% ,t is like tapping the energy of the uni8erse%$
=e spoke of the place of the guru an! hether the role of the guru ha!
8ali!ity% , sai! to 'rishna:i that6 looking back fro( to!ay to the (any yester!ays6
, sa clearly that for (e 'rishna:i as the guru% 'rishna:i inter8ene! an! aske!6
=hat !o you (ean by guru5$ ?a!ha Burnier sai!6 /e ho points the ay%$
#here ere other co((ents% , sai!6 /e ho aakens% 'rishna:i aakene! (e%
#here as an eye into eye looking% Such looking is rare%$ , aske!6 =hat as
your role in 19+8H!i! you not aaken5$ 'rishna:i sai!6 #he approach of the
aakener an! the aakene! is rong% =hen there is light an! , a( in !arkness
an! (o8e into the light there is no separation% #here is :ust light% =here is the
aakener5 So(e stay in the light6 so(e an!er aay6 that is all%$ A little later he
sai!6 , a( not saying , a( the light%$
Another (orning at breakfast e !iscusse! the brain an! the possibility of
transfor(ation of the hu(an brain% 'rishna:i sai! he ha! been !iscussing the
brain ith scientists% /e ha! un!erstoo! the( to say that e8ery cell in the
hu(an brain hol!s (e(ory of the (illion years of (an%$ #hen 'rishna:i aske!6
Can there be a total transfor(ation in that5$
As !iscussions continue!6 'rishna:i>s concern ith the brain an! its operation
as e8i!ent% /is perception ha! shifte! to an enCuiry into hether the (o8e(ent
of (e(ory ithin the brain cells coul! en!% ,t as only then that a hole ne
ay of perception coul! e(erge%
So(eone aske! hether 'rishna:i>s touch an! contact coul! release energy
hel! in an ob:ect6 an! in turn coul! that ob:ect co((unicate holeness6
sacre!ness5 Coul! it heal6 protect5 'rishna:i sai! fro( boyhoo! he coul! rea!
other people>s thoughts6 heal people% /e ha! been gi8en ob:ects to (agnetiDe6 to
(ake potent ith energy% But the boy 'rishna(urti as not intereste! in these
poers%
/e spoke of an i((ense reser8oir of energy hich (ust eBist% Can (an
reach it an! let it operate5$ he aske!% Asit sai!6 Surely a boy ho ha! no e8il in
hi(6 no self6 as a 8ery rare beingG he coul! touch it6 but coul! that energy be
contacte! by or!inary beings5$
, think it is possible6 Sir6$ 'rishna:i sai! ith hesitancy%
'rishna:i as in a 8ery strange state% /e spoke of an approach to the sacre!
ith a (in! that coul! recei8e6 but !i! not ant poer6 position% =hat as
necessary as an absolute purity of (in!%
, aske! hether anything else as necessary6 an! aske! hi( the nature of this
purity of (in!% 'rishna:i sai!6 #he purity of (y (in! is not the purity of Othe
(in!%> #he purity of th" mind is the (in! of the uni8erse% #hat is sacre!%$ , then
aske! hether the hu(an being ho ha! purity of (in!6 as a 8essel that coul!
recei8e% As it is possible to gi8e energy to an ob:ect6 can a hu(an being
co((unicate holeness6 can you gi8e the other5$
'rishna:i sai!6 @o% /oe8er pure6 the brain is still (atter6 it is still (in!%
#he other is the uni8erse% ,t is i((ense%$
'rishna:i refuse! to be caught in !iscussion% /e aske! hi(self6 ,s there an
ulti(ate beyon! hich there is nothing5 A groun! fro( hich e8erything is6
behin! an! beyon! hich there is nothing6 no cause5$
=e then !iscusse! the sacre!ness of ?ishi Falley% , sai! in ,n!ia there as
such a thing as a Punya $thaHa sacre! site% ;o!s coul! co(e an! go6 but the
sacre!ness of a site continue!%
'rishna:i sai!6 , feel the soil of ?ishi Falley has this special Cuality% ,t is6$
he sai! gra8ely6 Othe $tha of all $thas%> $
, sai! the hole 8alley as a sacre! site% ,t ha! been i(pregnate! ith
'rishna:i>s presence an! his or!s% ?a:ghat also ha! that sense of the sacre!ness%
-ne has to see6$ sai! 'rishna:i6 that this feeling is not !estroye!%$
'rishna:i sai! he as greatly te(pte! to stay on in ?ishi Falley% /e felt
strongly about it% Asit aske! 'rishna:i hy he coul! not li8e in ?ishi Falley an!
let people co(e to see hi( there fro( all o8er the orl!%
'rishna:i as Cuiet6 then sai!6 3y life has been one of physical (o8e(ent%
,t is i(portant for (e to stay here6 but , cannot% 7or ;o!>s sake6 trea! lightly on
this soil%$
4ater6 'rishna:i as to say6 Anergy is cos(os6 it is also chaos% #hat is the
source of creation% Anger is energy6 sorro is energyHbut there is supre(e
or!er% Can it be establishe! in ?ishi Falley5$
CHAPTER 34
@egation an!
the Ancient 3in!
,n January 198< 'rishna:i hel! a !iscussion at Fasant Fihar ith frien!s ho
ha! been closely associate! ith hi( for se8eral years% =e spoke of the ?ishi
Falley School an! its stu!ents an! hat nee!e! to be !one there% Su!!enly6 the
Cuality of the !iscussion as transfor(e!6 an urgency an! passion arose in
'rishna:i>s Cuestions% Speaking ith the purity of fire6 'rishna:i>s or!s burne!
aay the accretions that clou!e! the (in!% /e spoke of a total negation of all that
(an ha! thought6 sai!6 or !one%
,t starte! ith a si(ple Cuery2 /o is @arayan actually going to help the
stu!entsHnot :ust talk to the(6 but to aaken intelligence6 to co((unicate hat
it is to penetrate at great !epth5$
@arayan replie!6 , a( going to (eet the( e8ery !ay in s(aller groups6 both
teachers an! stu!ents%$ /e kne this oul! not satisfy 'rishna:i6 but there as
nothing else he coul! say%
/o ill you !o it5 3erely talking to the( or ha8ing !iscussions is not
going to bring this about% /o ill you (ake the( sensiti8e6 alert5$
#here has to be a basic or!er an! sensiti8ity%$ @arayan continue! to he!ge%
'rishna:i kept on probing% #here has to be a !ifferent ele(ent in it all% #here
has to be a brain that is eBtraor!inarily goo!% But that is not enough% =hat is
necessary is to bring about a genius% #he !e(an! is that there has to be goo!
brain6 capable of sustaine! argu(entG a hu(an being ho has great affection6
lo8e% Apart fro( all this6 there (ust be in hi( so(ething totally unorl!ly% /o
!i! ' happen to get it5 1o you un!erstan! (y Cuestion5$
&ou ha8e aske! this Cuestion se8eral ti(es% But , ha8e ne8er un!erstoo! the
rele8ance of it% ,t is not knon ho 'rishna:i ca(e upon it6 but ho can it
happen to so(e of us5$ , inter8ene!%
,s ' a biological freak5$ 'rishna:i continue! his Cuestioning%
, can>t anser that6$ , sai!% ,t (ay be so% , fin! that you are Cuestioning an!
pushing (uch !eeper% ,s it that you ha8e reache! a ne (ilestone in your
teachings5 &ou use! to say6 O,f you are tra8eling south6 can you change !irection
an! tra8el north5> @o you ask6 OCan the (in! of @arayan6 the (in! of Sunan!a6
be basically in the sa(e state as 'rishna:i>s (in!5> $ , countere!%
'rishna:i continue! his enCuiry% Can e gi8e a boy or a girl a sense of
free!o(6 the feeling that they are Oprotecte!>5 #hat they ha8e a special role in
life6 that they are special hu(an beings5 , a( trying to fin! out6 Pupul6 hat is
the catalyst6 hat is the thing that changes the hole (in!6 the hole brain5
, a( asking6 can there be a Cuality of otherness5 Can there be the other
!i(ension so that the (in! is Cuick6 the brain is Cuick6 the senses are alert5 So
that there is ne8er a point at hich the brain rests6 but is (o8ing6 (o8ing6
(o8ing5 , oul! like the stu!ent to ha8e such a (o8e(ent% , oul! !iscuss ith
hi(% , oul! alk ith hi(6 sit silently ith hi(% , oul! !o physically anything
to kin!le this thing in hi(% But ill he (o8e5 -r is the (aterial6 the brain
(aterial itself6 so slo that it cannot follo Cuickly6 run Cuickly5 ,s it possible
for @arayan6 ho is a stu!ent at ?ishi Falley6 to be an eBtraor!inary being so that
he is aare of the trees6 the feeling of the earth6 an! also ha8e a brain that is
eBtraor!inarily Cuick5 Can he listen to so(ething that is true5 Can there be a
breakthrough so that there is a sense of 8itality6 energy6 !ri8e5 , oul! like hi(
to ha8e it6 an! , say to (yself6 hat shall , !o an! can , !o so(ething for hi( to
ha8e this5$
Again he as Cuiet6 an! then aske!6 ,s it in (y han!s at all5 -r is it that a
!oor nee!s to be opene! by both of us5 A !oor hich is not his !oor or (y !oorG
but the !oor has to be opene!% , ha8e a feeling that there is so(ething aiting to
enter6 a /oly ;host is aitingG the thing is aiting for you to open the !oor6 an!
it ill co(e% , !on>t kno if , a( con8eying anything5
So , say6 @arayan6 !o all those things% Sit Cuietly6 see ho you beha8e6 ho
you look at a tree6 at a o(an6 go through all that% But that is not enough% #here
is a sense of bene!iction aiting6 an! e are not (o8ing toar!s it% =e are all
fussing aroun!6 sitting aroun!% =hat you are !oing is necessary6 but it is not
enough%$
?a:esh interrupte!% =hat is the state of the (in! hich realiDes that hat it
!oes is not enough5$
,t is ob8ious6 Sir% 3illions ha8e (e!itate!% #he Catholic (onks6 the
sannyasis ha8e (e!itate!6 but they ha8e not brought bene!iction%
@o6 hat can , !o in (y relationship to @arayan5 /e is (y stu!ent% /e is
illing to !o all the things , speak aboutHto obser8e6 be silent6 talk6 rea!6 look
aroun!6 feel the beauty of the earth% But there is another Cuality hich is
!e(an!ing so(ething6 an! that !e(an! is not to be foun! in his talking6
!iscussing6 seeing% An! the bene!iction !oes not enter%$
#he intensity in each one of us ha! !eepene!% @arayan aske!6 =hen you say
the !oor has to be opene!6 can you say hat it is5$
, a( !eeply concerne! that this shoul! happen to @arayan6$ sai! 'rishna:i6
an! , ask hat a( , to !o to precipitate this thing5$
Perhaps there is so(ething fro( our si!e hich is blocking us% #here is an
ineBpressible Cuality6 a boun!less Cuality in you6 an! , feel that e are not
putting out our han!s6$ Achyut sai!%
&ou !o put out your han!s6 but it is not taking place% ,t (ay be e are
con!e(ne!6 an! so it is only for the 8ery6 8ery fe% =ith the Bu!!ha there ere
only to after fifty yearsHSariputta an! 3ogallannaHthat (ay be the lot of
(an6$ 'rishna:i (use!%
,s there any Cuality of renunciation necessary5$ aske! Achyut%
, !on>t think it has anything to !o ith renunciation% 3an has star8e!G sat
alone in the (ountainsG he has !one e8erything to ha8e that so(ethingG but
apparently it !oes not happen that ay% So , say perhaps he shoul! go Cuickly
through ith this atching6 obser8ing silence6 an! en! it% An! , ask6 hat is the
(ost i(portant thing5 ,s it energy5 #he (issionary has i((ense energy hen he
goes aroun! preaching6 an! yet this thing is not there%$ 'rishna:i as Cuestioning
hi(self !eeply%
,s it (y passion that can transfor( @arayan5 ,f @arayan staye! ith (e6
listene! to all the !iscussions6 pushing6 challenging all the ti(e ithin hi(self6
oul! that !o so(ething5 &ou un!erstan!5$ Again he pause! an! as silent%
#hen6 fro( a 8ast !epth6 he sai!6 -r has there to be the negating of e8erything6
the role of the sannyasi6 the (onk ho keeps silence right through his life6 ho
sits by hi(selfG has all that to be !roppe!5 Can you !eny all that5
7or centuries (an has struggle!6 an! yet the other thing has not happene!%
An! can @arayan say6 O, see all that an! an! , on>t touch it% ,t is finishe!>5$
Su!!enly6 there as an i((ense Cuickening% , a( the saintG , a( the (onkG ,
a( the (an ho says6 , ill fast6 , ill torture (yself physically6 , ill !eny all
seBG , a( that (an% , say , ha8e finishe! ith all that6 but , a( all that because
(y (in! is the hu(an (in! hich has eBperi(ente! ith all that an! yet has not
co(e upon this bene!iction% #herefore , on>t touch all that% ,t is out%$
Are you folloing5 Can you !o this5 1o you un!erstan! hat , a( saying6
?a:esh5$
, a( :ust listening%$
#hat is not goo! enough% , !on>t ha8e to sit Cuietly the rest of (y life% #he
#rappist (onks ha8e !one that6 hy shoul! , !o it5 , see the saints6 the people
ho star8e6 ho torture the(sel8es6 ho stu!y great books6 ho (e!itateG , see
that , a( all that% Because they ha8e !one it6 (y brain is part of that !oing%
#herefore , ha8e !one it6 , !on>t ha8e to go through it all%$ #he aakene! insight
as probing%
,s it possible to negate it ith the sa(e urgency as the (an ho stu!ies6
takes 8os5 ,s it ith the sa(e urgency you see this an! negate it5 But after
negating it6 !oes urgency rest5$
,t (ay be6 Sir6 hen e negate6 e are also negating the urgency%$
=hat re(ains at the en! of negation5$ , aske!%
, see your point% , see e8erything% 3an has seen an! !one e8erything fro(
the beginning of ti(e% /e has !one e8erything to get this blesse!ness6 the
unna(eable% , see it in front of (e an! , cannot go near it% , can>t !o anything
about it%$ 'rishna:i as i((o8able%
&ou ha8e also through these years spoken of self*knole!ge6 of the
floering of Ohat is%> &ou ha8e sai! atch6 eBa(ine6 in8estigate% &ou no
see( to be getting to a point of negating all that%$
=ith intense passion an! urgency 'rishna:i sai!6 , ha8e negate!% , see that
all that !oes not lea! anyhere% &ou un!erstan! hat , ha8e !one5 , ha8e
negate! e8erything (an has !one6 toar! reaching that% 1o you follo hat , a(
saying5 An! , say to (yself6 can @arayan !o this5 /e is (y stu!ent in ?ishi
Falley an! , ask6 can he !o it5
1oes that negation in!icate a (aturity6 a tre(en!ous (aturity5 ,s it real
(aturity to say that all the things (an has !one ha8e not brought about
bene!iction an! so , a( not going to go through it all5
,s that hat is (issing5 ,s it the sense of great (aturity ithout going
through all that5
, see the gurus an! the i((aturity hich goes ith the(% , see that , shoul!
not follo% But seeing that6 !o , settle !on an! begin to go !onhill5 1o ,
beco(e sluggish or laDy5
#he (an ho says6 O, ha8e trie! all this an! negate!6> he is (o8ing% ,f you
!o not (o8e or (o8e in a narro circle an! spen! your ti(e co(paring hat '
says ith hat the Bu!!ha says6 at the en! of that6 hat is left5
=e ha8e to !eny knole!ge6 !eny e8erything%
@arayan6 (y stu!ent at ?ishi Falley6 can , sho you this act of total
!enial5$
1oes that (ean , !eny you5 4ook at hat you are saying%$ , coul! not help
interrupting%
&es6 you ha8e to !eny (e6$ as 'rishna:i>s response% =hat , say is6 you
cannot !eny truth6 but you ha8e to !eny e8erything else% , !eny e8erything that
(an has sought6 to get this% , !eny the saint ho has torture! hi(self6 the
#rappist (onks ho ha8e kept absolute silence% #hey ha8e !one e8erything in
the eBercise of that an! , !eny hat they ha8e !one% Can you so !eny5 ,s it the
lack of a total !enial the reason hy the !oor is not open5$
,n (y younger !ays6 hen you broke aay fro( the or!er an! you sai! truth
is pathless6 , really felt 8ery confuse!% , a( getting the sa(e feeling no because
, feel that no path ill lea! to it6$ la(ente! Achyut%
=e starte! by asking hether the teachers of ?ishi Falley6 ?a:ghat6 coul!
co((unicate ith stu!ents an! help the( to be aake% @arayan sai! he oul!
!iscuss ith the(6 talk ith the( in s(all nu(bers% ,f necessary6 he oul! sit
silent ith the(6 atch bir!s6 be sensiti8e% But , see it !oes not bring that
perfu(e% See hat the (onks an! other hu(an beings ha8e !one to get this
eBtraor!inary intelligence6 an! they ha8e not got it% So hy shoul! e go through
it5 So , !eny all the things that (an has trie! to !o6 to get it% So (y (in!6 (y
brain6 is free fro( eBperi(ent%$ 'rishna:i as opening the in!os of his (in!%
, think that is the clue% #hese people ha8e eBperi(ente! for years in forests6 but
they ha8e not got it% =hy shoul! , go through all that5$
=hat you are saying is6 the (in! has to be in a state of no !irection in hich
to turn6 no enCuiry hich thought has pursue!6$ , sai!%
,n that state6 see hat the brain is% ,t is no longer in a state of
eBperi(entation or in8estigation%$ /e as speaking6 but there as no (o8e(ent
aay fro( the !epth an! passion of the perception% People ha8e in8estigate!
an! they ha8e all faile!% #hey ha8e trie! getting !runk6 trie! seB6 trie! !rugs% ,
see all that% =hy shoul! , go through all that5 So , see an! , !eny% ,t is not blin!
!enial% #he !enial has tre(en!ous reason6 logic behin! it% ?ight5 An! so (y
(in!6 the brain6 is totally (ature% 1o you follo hat , a( saying5 Are you in
that state5 Please anser (e% #his is a challenge% &ou ha8e to anser% Are you
still eBperi(enting5$ /e pause!%
,n this !enial , inclu!e the #heosophists ith their hierarchy6 ith their
3asters% , a( through ith all that%
,s it that total !enial that is necessary to help the boy6 the stu!ent to see an!
:u(p out of it5 #hen the brain is absolutely stea!fast6 because it is not looking in
any !irection% ,t has turne! its back co(pletely on all !irection% =hat !o you say6
@arayan5 &ou are (y stu!ent in ?ishi Falley%$
#he lack of strength of the bo!y an! the (in! creeps in6$ sai! @arayan%
'rishna:i sai!6 , a( eighty*fi8e an! , say6 you ha8e to !eny% 7or centuries
(an has sai! he (ust control his bo!y6 see that it !oes not interfere% Can you
!eny all that5 ,f you cannot so !eny6 , say to you6 hy can>t you !eny5$
1o you co(e back to knole!ge6 !iscussion6 etc%5$ @arayan as !o!ging6
unable to face the absolute negation% 'rishna:i sai!6 #hat is a tri8iality% 3y
concern is to see that the stu!ent !oes not go through ith all this struggle% #hat
the (in! is (ature6 ali8e% Can , !o this ith ten boys or girls5 &ou are then
bringing about a group of boys an! girls ho are totally !ifferent%$
/o !oes one (eet all the proble(s of a!olescence5$ Again @arayan as
trying to (o8e aay%
'rishna:i sai!6 A boy ho is ith us fro( the age of fi8e su!!enly changes
hen he is thirteen or so% , ant to pre8ent that% , a( going to fin! out hat
happens% , ant to pre8ent the coarsening%$
@o e!ucator has !one this6$ as @arayan>s co((ent%
'rishna:i sai!6 , a( going to !eny all e!ucators% , ant to fin! out% ,s it
puberty6 seB5 ,s it a sense of (anhoo! that (akes hi( coarse5 &ou can see the
transfor(ation at that perio! of his life% , ant to pre8ent it% , think you can
pre8ent it% &ou can see to it that physically he (atures 8ery 8ery sloly%$
=hat !oes that (ean5$ aske! ?a:esh%
1on>t you kno hat it (eans5 =hy is it that a boy or a girl6 up to a certain
age6 has a sense of lightness an! then beco(es coarse5 ,s it the physical organis(
hich is concerne! ith procreation5 ,s it that hich causes the change5 ,f it is
so6 can that take place (uch later in life5 @arayan6 , a( sorry to bully you% But
can you !eny all that you kno5$
, oul! still stu!y%$
'rishna:i sai!6 Stu!y% But you kno at the en! of forty years6 you are here
you are6 right5 Stu!y6 practice abstinence6 celibacy6 take 8osG !o all that6 but it
!oes not lea! you anyhere% =hy shoul! , go through all that5 , a( part of the
hu(an being ho has !one all that%$
, feel6 Sir6 that all these things ha8e li(ite! effects% #hey ill not lea! (e to
that% , take eBercise6 etcetera6 but they !on>t lea! to that%$ Achyut co((ente!% /e
continue!6 &ou look after your bo!y ith 8igilance% #here is a balance% By
!enial , un!erstan! that there is negation6 but all that has a place% #here is great
!iligence%$
Achyut as atte(pting to !iffuse the gathere! energy% But 'rishna:i as
i((o8able% #hat !iligence !oes not co(e through any of this% 3y brain is the
brain of hu(anity% , a( absolutely certain of that% So6 being the brain of
hu(anity6 (y brain has !one all this% , !on>t ha8e to go through it all% 1o you
kno hat that (eans5$
#he !"das speak of the great teacher taking his !isciple ithin hi(self6 as an
e(bryo% 7or three nights hol!ing hi( in the !arkness of the ithin6 the go!s
gather to itness the birth% 'rishna:i as in a sense !oing that ith us6 !raing
close the people sitting aroun! hi(6 enabling their (in!s to !irectly touch his
(in!6 all !i8ision as en!ing% 'rishna:i sai!6 , think e are opening the !oor
slightly% 1o you see hat e are !oing5 3o8e% #his chapter has not been stu!ie!
so far% ' has not gone through all these !isciplines% =hy shoul! he5$
=here !o you get your perceptions5$ aske! @arayan%
'rishna:i sai!6 By not !oing any of this%$
By not !oing ill , get it5$ aske! @arayan%
'rishna:i>s 8oice ca(e fro( !epth6 it as hel! in eons% @o% #he brain itself
says that it is so ol!6 an! that brain says it on>t re(ain ith knole!ge% 1o you
see hat has happene! to this brain5 ,t is like an i((o8able rock% ,t is stea!fast6
hich !oes not (ean that it is stagnant% ,t is not going to sleep% 1o you see hat
happens to a brain that says6 O, a( hu(anity6 an! hat hu(anity has !one6 , ha8e
!one>5 An! , see that it !oes not pro!uce bene!iction an! therefore all that has
been !one6 has no (eaning%$ #here as a long pause% 'rishna:i sai!6 ,s there a
clue in all this5 See hat has happene! to the brain% ,t has (o8e! out of its circle%
1o it no% 3o8e out of that circle hich (an has o8en aroun! hi(self%
@o6 can you !o this to the stu!ent5 =ill you create so(ething6 a school
that has ne8er eBiste! before5$
A fe !ays later 'rishna:i took (e to his roo( an! sai! to (e6 , ha8e been
anting to tell you so(ething% At ?ishi Falley a strange thing happene!% -ne
night , aoke feeling the hole uni8erse con8erge into (e% An entering of
e8erything an! the tra8eling !eeper an! !eeper into a !epth ithout en!%$ /is
face as i((ensely serious as he spoke6 lu(inous ith light%
CHAPTER 35
-ne #ouche! the Source of
the Anergy of All #hings%$
7ro( the (o(ent 'rishna:i ca(e to Bo(bay6 he as afire an! co((unicate!
his intensity% ?elentless in his Cuestioning6 at breakfast one (orning he aske!6 ,s
it possible for the brain6 hich is (e(ory6 co(pletely to be free of (e(ory5 ,s
there in the brain a faculty capable of totally transfor(ing itself5 =hat happens
hen you hear a Cuestion of this nature5$ /e kept silent for so(e ti(e6 an! our
(in!s too gre silent%
,s the (in! of (an !eteriorating because it is a (illennia of tra!ition an!
(e(ory5$ #here as an intense silence an! a rece!ing of 'rishna:i>s
consciousness to 8ast !epths6 an! it as fro( this !epth that he spoke% ,s there a
faculty in the brain hich can change the nature an! structure of the brain so that
it frees itself of the past6 so that it is ali8e an! ne5
Since ?ishi FalleyHan! , a( not saying this in any personal sense an! not
eBaggeratingHe8ery night the brain has been Obreaking> an! entering into
so(ething i((ense% , ha8e been atching this6 as if , ere atching an
operation on so(eone else%$
Aare of the i((ensity that reste! in 'rishna:i6 , aske! hi( if he oul!
(e!itate alou!% /e agree!% #his took place at Sterling Apart(ents6 Bo(bay6
toar! the en! of January 198<%
#he last four (onths or so6 there has been a peculiar acti8ity going on6 as
though the brain as being ashe! outHa purgation taking placeHan! ,
on!ere! hat it as about% ?ecently6 hen , as in ?ishi Falley6 a peculiar
thing happene!% 7or se8eral nights6 one actually touche! the source of the energy
of all things% ,t as an eBtraor!inary feelingG not fro( the (in! or brain6 but fro(
the source itself% An! that has been going on6 in 3a!ras an! here% ,t is as though
one as totally isolate!Hif one can so use that or! ithout a sense of
ith!raal% #here as a sense of nothing eBisting eBcept Othat%> #hat source or
feeling as a state in hich the (in!6 the brain6 as no longer in operationH
only that source as in operation% #his (ay soun! o!! an! craDy6 but it is not% ,
sai! to (yself that , (ust atch carefully hether , a( !ecei8ing (yself or a(
caught in illusion6 a !esire for that hich began an! the !esire anting to
(ultiply it6 change it% , ha8e been atching 8ery carefully to see that !esire !oes
not enter into it at all% Because the (o(ent !esire enters6 it beco(es a
re(e(brance an! the energy is gone6 the original thing is gone% So , a(
eBtre(ely careful to see that that thing re(ains pure% #he or! pure (eans clear6
unspotte!6 not corrupte!% ,t is like pure ater6 !istille! ater6 a (ountain strea(
hich has ne8er been touche! by hu(an (in! or han!%
, ha8e been 8ery careful about this% , ha8e foun! recently that the brain is
losingH, (ust be 8ery careful ho , put thisHlosing its on 8olition6 its on
acti8ity% Just listen for a (inute% , !o not kno hether it is co((on to the lot of
(an6 that for as (any years as , recollect6 , go for a alk for three or four hours
an! there is not a single thought in that ti(e% #his is not an in8ention6 this is not a
ish pro!uct% An! Othat> has been going on6 hen , go for a alk it is alays
there%
#he (in!6 the brain6 is so accusto(e! to re(e(brance6 to eBperience6
knole!ge6 (e(ory% ,t has to fin! its on tranCuility%%% so that the origin6 the
beginning is not interfere! ith% #he or!s in the Bible an! other religious books
of the Aast are that the beginning as chaos an! out of that chaos ca(e or!er% ,
think it is the other ay% , (ay be rong6 but the beginning as or!er% 3an (a!e
chaos% Because creation cannot be chaos% Chaos (eans !isor!er6 an! ;enesis
says there as chaos6 !arknessG out of that chaos ;o! create! or!er% , a( sure
that is not so% #here (ust ha8e been total or!erG the earthCuakes6 the uphea8als6
the 8olcanoes6 ere all or!er% , think e ha8e lost that sense of total6 co(plete6
original6 blesse! or!er% =e ha8e lost it6 an! the !arkness of chaos has been
create! by (an%
,t is not that the beginning as chaos% #hat is i(possible% A8en if there is
;o!H, a( using ;o! in the or!inary sense of the or!Han! he create! original
chaos an! out of that create! or!er6 the origin (ust ha8e been or!er% ,t coul! not
be !isor!er an! out of that to create or!er% #he beginning (ust be or!er% An!
(an calle! it chaos an! out of that (an brought about tre(en!ous !isor!er%
@o he seeks to go back to that origin6 that or!er% #hat state (ust be
so(ething of i((ense bene!iction6 an i((ense6 ti(eless6 incorruptible state6
otherise it is not or!er%
So can (an get back to that5
,t can ne8er be eBperience!% Because eBperience i(plies recognition6
re(e(brance% ,t is not a thing that you go through as O, re(e(ber%> O#his> is
outsi!e the real( of all eBperience6 outsi!e all knole!ge6 totally beyon! all
(an>s en!ea8or%
But (an is left ith his senses6 an! his !esires an! the 8ast accu(ulation of
knole!ge gathere! in the brain%
So6 the Cuestion is6 can one ipe out the tre(en!ous accu(ulation of a
(illion years5
, think it is possible hen all the senses are totally aake an! eBcellent%
#hen there is no center fro( hich an eBperience can take place% As long as there
is a center there (ust be eBperience an! knole!ge% =hen there is no center6
there is a state of noneBperience6 a state of obser8ation6 hen all the senses are
highly aakene! an! functioning6 superbly sensiti8e6 then in that state6 there is
no center as the O(e> in8ol8e!% ,t is this center as the O(e> that creates !esire%
#his state6 this center6 cannot reach that stateHthe beginning%
3an cannot aspire or sacrifice or !iscipline to reach anyhere near it% So
hat is he to !o5 ,t is 8ery i(portant to un!erstan! !esire% ,f that is not
co(pletely un!erstoo!6 the subtlety of !esire is i((ense an! therefore it has
eBtraor!inary6 i((ense possibilities of illusion%
1esire6 ill6 ti(e6 (ust co(e to a co(plete en!% #hat is6 the (in!6 the brain6
(ust be absolutely pureHnot pure as no seB6 no ugly thoughtsHbut the brain
(ust be co(pletely e(pty of knole!ge% A state here thought can ne8er arise
Hunless necessary% So that thought has its on responsibility6 so that it can only
act in certain !irections%
A brain that is free fro( all eBperience6 an! therefore knole!ge6 is not in
the fiel! of ti(e6 therefore has co(e to the beginning of all things% &ou cannot
eBplain all this to people% But they shoul! listen to itHyou follo5$
&ou ha8e sai! the senses are not e8ilHbut the senses create knole!ge5$
aske! Achyut%
Sunan!a on!ere!6 =hat is the relationship beteen the state of the (in!
an! that5$
#his cannot go to that6 that hich is non*ti(e% #he (in! hich is free fro(
all eBperience6 a (in! that has ne8er eBperience!His like a 8essel6 it can recei8e
that% But this cannot go to that%$
=hat is the relationship beteen the 8essel an! Othat>5$ aske! Sunan!a%
@one% =hat are you talking about5$ 'rishna:i as in a state of eBaltation%
1esire of the sensesH!esire that co(es fro( the center has to be co(pletely
e(ptie!% #here is no (o8e(ent toar!s Othat> hich (eans an en! to ti(e% Any
(o8e(ent in any !irection is ti(e% 3an has (a!e great struggle to reach that% ,t
is not possible% 1esire hich is so subtle an! therefore the creator of illusion6
(ust en!% #he brain has to be free of !esire% #here can be no pattern6 no
!irection6 no 8olition6 no !esire%$
=e ha! touche! so(ething6 an! , spoke% #hat is creation% #here is no Ohas
been> in that% #here is only beginning% #here is only the state of beginning%$
Ah6 aitHatch it carefully% #here is alays a state of beginning6 atch it6
atch it Pupul:i6 re(ain there% =hen you say this6 hat !oes it (ean to the
people ho listen to you5$ 'rishna:i>s (in! as feeling aroun!%
=hat are the i(plications of this5 #he en!ing is alays the beginning5
?ight5 =hat !oes it (ean5$ aske! Asit%
,t (eans the en!ing of attach(ent% #hat is the beginning% 4ook6 Sir6 ith the
en!ing of a proble(6 the (in! is e(pty% #o ha8e no proble(6 at all6 is to ha8e no
eBperience% But , a( an or!inary (an% , ha8e all kin!s of fears6 !esires6 , carry
the( all (y life an! , ne8er sayHcan , en! one thing5 Attach(ent6 :ealousy%$
#he (in! is still full of thought6$ sai! Asit%
#he (in! is full of thought because the senses are not fully floering% #he
senses create thought% Senses create eBperience6 hich is knole!ge6 (e(oryH
thought% =hen the senses are fully floering6 hat happens5 #here is no center
as !esire6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat are the i(plications of that in (y !aily life5$ Asit Cuerie!%
'rishna:i replie!6 ,n your !aily life6 your (ain concern is hether your
senses can floer% All your senses6 not :ust seB6 not :ust eyesight6 not :ust hearing
ith the ear% Can you look at a o(an6 ith all your senses5 #hen you lose the
centerG eBperience !oes not eBist% ?ight5$
=hat interferes in the floering of the senses5$ again Asit aske!%
#here is nothing that interferes% =e ha8e ne8er alloe! the senses to floer%
=e ha8e operate! ith thought as the (e!iu( of action% But e ha8e not
enCuire! into the origin of thought !eeply% ,f , ha! no senses , oul! be a piece
of rock6 ith 8ibrations6 or a (ass of flesh% But the (o(ent the senses begin
co(es appetite6 seBH, start (o8ing in a narro groo8e% &ou ha8e to go into that
!eeply so that all the senses are operating% #ra!ition !enies the sensesHtherefore
there is alays%%%$
Asit interrupte!% ,f , (ay ask hat is the relationship beteen a piece of
rock that has no senses6 to all (y senses operating5 ?ocks ha8e no senses%$
, a( not so sure that rocks ha8e no sensesH(atter is (erely the heel of
energy6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,s it a Cuestion of the entering of this li(itless energy5 A Cuestion of the
a(ount that can enter into rock6 or the senses that are half aakene! or fully
aakene!5 ,s the li(itless energy alays there to enter5 ,s it the a(ount that can
be recei8e! that (akes the !ifference5$ aske! Asit%
3y concern is to fin! if (y senses can floer because fro( that e8erything
arises6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Asit pushe! further% 1o the senses beco(e !ull because of lack of
attention5$
&ou are not aare of the senses% &ou are the senses% All the associations that
ha8e beco(e strengthene! beco(e tre(en!ous% ,s lo8e a (o8e(ent of the
senses5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
1oes attention aaken the senses5$ aske! Asit%
Attention (eans care6 responsibility6 affection6 no (oti8e6$ 'rishna:i
pointe!%
So !aily life6$ sai! Asit%
=hen proble(s ariseHtotality of senses not operating% =hen the senses are
aakene! an! there is no center6 there is a beginning an! an en!ing%
Psychological proble(s !o not eBist in the state of no center% 1on>t say O,
(ust be aare>G then you are lost% &ester!ay6 hen e ere alking6 you ere
telling (e of the co(puter% #he brain as listening6 it !i!n>t recor!% #here as a
sense of a pouring out6 so(ething pouring !on to the brain% =hen so(ething is
actually taking place there is no feelingG hen there is actually fear6 there is no
feeling% 7ear arises a secon! after% #he (o(ent you are not apprehen!ing there is
fear6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#here (ust be so(ething in that state6$ Asit persiste!%
#his cannot be ansere!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,s there a co(plete reneal5$ aske! Asit%
A reneal of the brain5 &es6 the brain cells are cleanse!% #hey !on>t carry
ancient (e(ory6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
&our brain !oes not carry any ancient (e(ory5 #he (illion years are ipe!
aay5$ , aske!%
-therise there is only !arkness6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
1ays later6 hen e ere at the breakfast table6 , aske! hether 'rishna:i
as pointing to a ne use of the senses% =hen the senses are fully floering6 in a
state of si(ultaneity6 the center ceases% , aske! hi( hether in this state the
thrust of the ,$ consciousness6 hich gi8es !irection to the (in!6 !issol8es5
#his holeness of sensory intelligence negate! the !i8i!ing line of outer an!
inner6 the yester!ay an! to(orro%
See it6 Pupul:i6 see it6$ 'rishna:i sai!% #here is only being an! beginning%$
,n the !ays that folloe! 'rishna:i spoke again an! again of that hich lies
beyon! creation itself% /e sai!6 -r!er is the beginning6 the source of an energy
that can ne8er !i(inish% #o in8estigate it there (ust be an in8estigation of the
senses an! !esire% #hat blesse!ness of or!er is hen the (in! !oes not ha8e a
single !esire an! the senses are operating fully6 totally%$ , aske! 'rishna:i
hether he as saying essentially the sa(e as he ha! sai! in pre8ious years6 but
using ne or!sG or ere these insights entirely !ifferent5 /e sai!6 #his is
entirely !ifferent%$
, obser8e! fro( ?ishi Falley an! 3a!ras that6 hen he spoke of the see!6 the
(illennia*ol! brain of (an6 the beginning6 creation6 his face change!%
CHAPTER 36
1oubt as the Assence of
?eligious AnCuiry$
-n the ay fro( 4on!on to Colo(bo on @o8e(ber 16 198<6 'rishna:i ca(e to
3a!ras acco(panie! by 3ary Si(balist% #heir luggage ha! been (isroute!6 an!
3ary Si(balist as left ith only the o8ernight bag she carrie! ith her%
'rishna:i as !istresse! for 3ary6 concerne! about her6 an! his frail bo!y
appeare! agitate!% #hat e8ening he !i! not go to the beach6 but alke! on the
circular path that goes aroun! Fasant Fihar%
#he neBt (orning a significant !iscussion took place o8er the breakfast table6
hich re8eale! insights into his relentless Cuestioning% 'rishna:i>s Cuestion that
!ay as hether the ,n!ian (in! as !egenerating% Achyut spoke of a (eeting
'rishna:i ha! ith Jaaharlal @ehru an! Acharya 'ripalani in 1901 at hich he
ha! been present% Achyut sai!6 @ehru an! 'ripalani
1
felt that it as essential for
,n!ia to be politically free before a regeneration in the ,n!ian (in! coul! take
place%$ 'rishna:i ha! sai! that if they ignore! inner regeneration in the struggle
for ,n!epen!ence6 ,n!ia oul! lose its ay% @ehru as youngG his alert an!
attenti8e (in! un!erstoo! the i(portance of regeneration6 but felt that political
free!o( ha! to be6 for the ,n!ian (in! to floerG to ha8e the space in hich it
coul! enCuire% At the ti(e Achyut ha! agree! ith @ehru%
But 'rishna:i>s response to @ehru as that ,n!ia ha! stoo! for the religious
spirit throughout history% Bu!!his( sprea! fro( ,n!ia to China6 Japan6 the
hole of the Aast an! 7ar Aast% =hat is the relationship of that religious core of
,n!ia to the orl! to!ay5$ he ha! aske! Jaaharlal @ehru%
Achyut ha! been speaking ith !eep e(otion% 'rishna:i ha! listene! Cuietly
to hat Achyut sai!6 then turne! to us an! aske!6 ,s the core ali8e5 #he =estern
orl!6 the Christian orl!6 ha! a religious core that reste! on faith% ,n ,n!ia at
the heart of religion as the !enial of e8erything but Othat>% @o is that religious
core6 the see!6 !isappearing5 ,f it still eBists6 hat is its response to the =est an!
its 8alues5$
'rishna:i sai! to Achyut6 &ou spoke of this country ha8ing a !ifferent soil%
#he ancients use! the or! Tat or Brah(an to eBpress it% ,n ancient ti(es
religion as not base! on caste or ritual% #his concern ith the core ha! lea! to a
!ifferent ay of life% @o6 is it possible for the see! that has lai! !or(ant in the
soil for centuries to aaken5$
,t is the see! aakening that is life6 an! that respon!sHthe floering of the
see! is the response6$ , sai!6 then ent on to speak of (y recent 8isit to Faranasi
so(e eeks earlier% , ha! !iscusse! 'rishna:i an! the teaching ith Pan!it
Jagannath "pa!hyaya% A 3ahayana scholar in the @agar:una tra!ition6 he ha!
1
A pro(inent (e(ber of the Congress Party an! Presi!ent of the ,n!ian @ational Congress for se8eral
years6 'ripalani as a senior lea!er in the free!o( struggle against British rule%
participate! in !iscussions ith 'rishna:i% /e ha! sai!6 =e ha8e to un!erstan!
the !ialectics of 'rishna(urti6 but the core of 'rishna:i is beauty6 a total
o8erfloing of Being%$ #hen he sai! (any of his co(ra!es6 anguishe! ith the
present tren!s in /in!uis(6 ha! turne! to Bu!!his( for sustenanceG they ha!
hel! !ialogues to ask the(sel8es hat the Bu!!ha oul! say if he ere a(ongst
the( to!ay% #hey ca(e to see that hat 'rishna:i as saying as hat the
Bu!!ha oul! ha8e sai!%
'rishna:i hear! (e patiently6 but as not prepare! to accept hat , as
saying% &ou are not ansering (y Cuestion6$ he sai!% &ou are all ,n!ians6
conscious of ,n!ian culture% &ou ha8e to anser this Cuestion% &ou are aare of
hat is going on in ,n!ia6 the 8arious gurus6 the cults6 an! also you (ust ha8e a
feeling of the core fro( hich great things took place% =hat relationship has that
core6 if it still eBists6 to the =est an! to =estern religion an! culture hich is
base! on faith6 belief5$ #hen 'rishna:i aske!6 ,f there is no relationship6 then is
that the point fro( hich a ne regeneration can e(erge5$
,f that core6 that center6 has !isappeare! in ,n!ia6 is it in that6 that the Aast
an! the =est are co(ing together5$
Apparently6$ he sai!% 7ro( the beginning of ti(e6 the people of ,n!ia ha!
so(ething hich as genuine6 true% #hey ere !eeply religious in the true sense
of the or!% #here ere the Bu!!has an! the pre*Bu!!has ho ha! left their
i(print on the soil of ,n!ia% #he present orl! of astrologers6 gurusH!oes that
in!icate that the !epth of the real thing is going5
,n the Christian orl! !oubt ha! ne8er been part of religion% /ere !oubt6 as
part of religious enCuiry6 has alays eBiste!% ,s that capacity to !oubt being
!issipate!5 ,s that !isappearing an! gra!ually beco(ing faith5
1o you see that !oubt in religious enCuiry is one of the (ost eBtraor!inary
things that eBiste! in ,n!ia5 Christianity as base! on faithG !oubt6 skepticis(6
Cuestioning ere !enie!% #hey ere regar!e! as heresy% ,n ,n!ia an! in the
Asiatic orl! !oubt as one of the principles of religious in8estigation% ,s that
!oubt !isappearing6 an! therefore is ,n!ia :oining the =estern strea(5 -r if
!oubt still eBists6 is it being s(othere! an! are e losing the 8itality of it5 1oubt
as an eBtraor!inary purgation%$
1oubt is beco(ing a for(al Cuestioning6$ sai! ?a!ha Burnier%
, a( speaking of real !oubt6 ith the i((ense energy that lies behin! it%
=hat !o you say6 Pupul:i5 &ou are a (iBture of both the Aast an! =est%$
1
=hen you use that or! O!oubt6> it is an i((ense thing% But , cannot anser
your Cuery hether it still eBists or not6$ , sai!%
#he #heosophical Society an! A((a ha! that Cuality at the beginning% 1r%
Besant left Christianity6 she left her husban!G there as !oubt6 an! then she got
trappe! in organiDations an! lost 8itality% But the ,n!ian (in!6 the original (in!6
e(phasiDe! !oubt% 1oubt ith its clarity6 !oubt ith its i((ense 8itality purges
the (in! of illusions% ,s ,n!ia losing that5 &ou follo5 Because it is only through
!oubt that you co(e to the Brah(an6 not through acceptance of authority6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
1
Born in a Brah(in fa(ily6 free of all ritual an! belief yet roote! in ,n!ian heritage6 e!ucate! in Anglan!6
, sy(boliDe to ' a (in! that coul! span the bri!ge beteen Aast an! =est%
#hat is hat the Bu!!ha also sai!6$ sai! ?a!ha%
Are e losing that5 @ot the fe of us% But the ,n!ian (in!% ,s it losing that
Cuality6 that Cuest for clarity5$ 'rishna:i as pushing the Cuestion%
?a!ha respon!e!6 , still think that in ,n!ia !oubt eBists6 but this !oubt has
beco(e a tra!ition% =e Cuestion in a for(al sense% ,n the =est this takes the
for( of scientific search% 1oubt is that hich has not been corroborate! by
eBperi(ent% #he ,n!ian (in! has turne! in the !irection of scientific search%$
#he =estern tra!ition of confor(ity has also entere! the ,n!ian strea(6$
a!!e! Achyut%
'rishna:i has brought into his teaching a ne factor2 !oubt that !oes not
(o8e toar! an anser% =hen you use the or! O!oubt> ithin the ,n!ian
conteBt6 i((e!iately out of !oubt springs search6$ , sai!%
O=hat a( ,6 ho a( ,5> #his is the ,n!ian Cuestion% #his is not a Cuestion
ith a !irection6$ co((ente! Achyut%
-f course% ,f you ha8e !oubt ith !irection6 then it has an entirely !ifferent
(eaning6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
1oubt ithout being folloe! by search has not eBiste! in the ,n!ian strea(%
,n 'rishna:i>s !oubt is an i((e!iate i((obility of the (in!6$ , sai!%
, a( asking a really 8ery serious Cuestion% , ant to fin! out if in ,n!ia the
(in! is being caught an! carrie! aay by the (aterialistic a8e% #hat a8e is
threatening the =estern orl!6 eBpressing itself through technology6 (aterialis(6
nationalis(% #he =estern (in! is (o8ing in the !irection of the outer6 an! it
!o(inates the orl!% So is ,n!ia losing so(ething hich as there5 7ro( hat
one can see it appears to be losing it%$
3ary Si(balist Cuerie!6 Are you asking hether the other spirit hich
un!erlays ,n!ia is failing5 /o !oes one tell that5$
Can you anser that Cuestion5 Can you feel6 probe into it5 Can Pupul or
Achyut ha8e a feeling of hat is happening in this country5 Can you take the
outer as a (easure an! (o8e to the inner5$ 'rishna:i aske!% #he other as
alays there% , a( saying so(ething 8ery si(ple% ,n!ia (o8e! fro( a center an!
that center sprea! all o8er the Asiatic orl! through inner search6 !ance6 (usic6
an! cultural eBpression% #he =estern orl! as centere! in belief6 hich is so
superficial% #hat superficiality6 that (aterialis(6 is that conCuering this5 ,t is 8ery
significant to see this% Can one see the outer (anifestation of this in ,n!ia6
through its bureaucracy6 technology6 science6 nuclear energyG folloing the ays
of the =estG an! so is the pristine6 original core of this country gra!ually
ithering aay5 ,n!ia as centere! on one thing% An! therefore she ha! a fire
hich sprea! thoughout the orl!% @o hat is happening to the ,n!ian core5$
'rishna:i>s passionate Cuestion an! the fire of his attention as igniting our
(in!s%
=oul! you not say that in ,n!ia the spirit has turne! to the other5 ,t has
beco(e a!ulterate!% ,t is no longer a force% So hat is the !ifference beteen
,n!ia an! the =est5$ 3ary spoke%
, oul! not say that this fiel! has been corro!e! in the last fifteen years% ,
oul! not say that6$ , sai!%
, hope not% But , on>t accept your state(ent% , a( Cuestioning it% , ant
,n!ia to be that% So , say , hope she is not going to lose it% ,f it is lost6 it is lost% ,
!on>t ant her to lose it6 because then it is the en! of e8erything%$
Aither you bring hat you are saying into the co(parati8e fiel! of ti(e an!
Cuestion hether earlier there ere (ore people concerne! ith the core6 or you
can only put the Cuestion% Are there people to!ay ho take their stan! in this5$ ,
aske!%
-utsi!e of those people ho ha8e been eBpose! to 'rishna:i in ,n!ia6 are
there people ho take their source6 their energy fro( !oubt5$ aske! Achyut%
#here ha8e been ti(es in the history of this country hen energy has
eBplo!e! in great (anifestations% =hen you say ,n!ia is !eteriorating6 a hun!re!
years or (ore ago as there religious !oubt then an! hat as its nature5 So
!on>t put the Cuestion in ter(s of linear ti(e% Can one ask the Cuestion are there
people to!ay ho ha8e the capacity to ask this Cuestion5$ , sai!%
#here ha8e been 8arious factors also that ha8e contribute! to the earing
aay of this spirit% #he Bhakti (o8e(ent ith its e(phasis on belief an! faith6
hich eBiste! for a nu(ber of centuries6 coul! be co(pare! to Christianity% #hen
the (o!ern6 scientific approach has re!uce! all nature to eBperi(ent% All this has
cut the source at the roots6$ sai! ?a!ha%
,n the past there ere only a fe ho ere the aristocrats of the spirit ho
took their stan! on the for(less6$ , sai!%
But the elitist !o(inate! the culture that eBplo!e!6$ sai! Achyut%
Bu!!ha arose an! talke!% ,t as three hun!re! years before the teaching as
establishe!6$ , sai!%
1on>t say you cannot anser (y Cuestion%$ 'rishna:i oul!n>t let go% ,
ha8e been Cuestioning this for years% #his ti(e as , fle into Bo(bay , as again
asking that Cuestion6 is the =est conCuering the Aast5 #he =est has the capacity
to organiDe6 bring people together6 it has technology6 co((unication6 etcetera% ,t
has been capable of buil!ing syste(s to a (ar8elous eBtent% /ere it as not
base! on organiDation or syste(% #here ere people ho stoo! alone%$
#here is a fiel! of goo! an! the fiel! of e8il% #he challenge really is hat is
possible to (ake that fiel! of goo! potent6$ , sai!%
@o6 the goo! cannot be potent% ;oo! is goo!6$ respon!e! 'rishna:i%
#ake it that the center is corro!e!% =hat is the response5$
#hen e can say it is finishe!6 let us !o so(ething about it% But if you say it
eBists then e :ust carry on6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,f , a!(it it is finishe!5$ , aske!%
#hen that hich has an en!ing has a ne beginning% ,f it has en!e!6 then
so(ething tre(en!ous is taking place6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
#hat is the (a:or !ifference beteen you an! others% , as brought up in a
tra!ition hich belie8e! in this source an! e8eryone thought about re8i8alis(6
saying that it eBiste!% &ou are the only person ho is asking hether the see! is
ali8e or not6$ sai! Achyut%
, a!!e!6 As long as 'rishna:i is there6 ho !o , say the see! is corro!e!5$
, also fail to see ho !oubt has co(pletely en!e! an! a ne thing has
starte!6$ sai! ?a!ha%
=hen so(ething has en!e! a ne thing is taking place6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
&ou can ask6 is there !oubt in (e5 , can anser that !irectlyG but hen you
ask (e has that see! been corrupte!6 , can ne8er anser that%$
, a( afrai! if !oubt has en!e! in ,n!ia6 then it is a terrible thing6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
,f , !eny the see! , ha8e !enie! e8erything6$ , sai!%
, a( not talking of !enying% , a( asking you a Cuestion% #he =est is
enor(ously poerful ith science6 technology6 organiDation6 co((unication6
ar6 all that% #hat enor(ity has s(othere! that hich is not enor(ous% ?ight5 ,s
the core of ,n!ia so enor(ous ithin6 that it can counter that an! see that it is not
touche! by all that5 1o you see hat , a( saying5 ,t is not a geographical
Cuestion% , a( talking about the ,n!ian (in! that has pro!uce! the 5panishads6
the Bu!!ha% ,n!ia has been the storehouse of so(ething 8ery 8ery great% #he
=est6 ith its e(phasis on faith an! its (aterialis(6 is !estroying that
greatness%$
, cannot anser your Cuestion6$ , sai!%
&ou ha8e got to anser% ,t is a challenge you ha8e got to (eet% ,t is a
challenge that e8ery ,n!ian (ust (eet6$ sai! 'rishna:i% Pupul6 it is 8ery
interesting6 the hu(an (in! is asking itself this Cuestion2 O,s there a (in! that is
incorruptible5> ,s that (in! being !estroye! by the =est5
?eligion in the =est is base! on faith an! belief ith all its i(plications% #o
be caught in faith or belief is the en!ing of !oubt% ?eligious enCuiry in ,n!ia as
not base! on faith6 so it coul! (o8e in any !irection% 7ree of !irection6 there as
a !ifferent (o8e(ent taking placeG this is the essence of the Bu!!has6 the pre*
Bu!!has% ,s that essence gra!ually being corro!e! by the =est5 -r is that
essence eBpressing itself no5 @ot as the Bu!!ha or 3aitreyaHthese are but
na(es2 but is that essence eBpressing itself5$
, respon!e!6 #hat essence is incorruptible% #herefore it cannot be corro!e!%
#he ,n!ian (in! to!ay is con!itione!% #he only thing hich one can say is that
that (in!6 because it has been tune! to the Oother> for centuries6 (ay ha8e a
procli8ity to the Oother%> $
An! so the possibility of (utation% , think this (in! has a greater possibility
of (utation% #his is not !enying the =est% =e are not talking of the Aast an! the
=est as oppositesG e are talking of a Cuality of (in! that has no !irection%$
=oul! you say the con!itione! (in! can ha8e nothing to !o ith Othat>5$
aske! ?a!ha%
#he con!itione! (in! can ha8e nothing to !o ith Othat6> but Othat> can ha8e
so(ething to !o ith Othis%> So , a( asking6 is the (in! of ,n!iaHnot (y (in!
or your (in!6 but the (in! that has e8ol8e! through fi8e thousan! years6 the
(in! of the Bu!!haHcan that (in! e8er be con!itione!5 #he ,n!ian (in!
groping for that6 !oubts6 Cuestions% &ou say6 Pupul6 that is the (ainstrea( of the
,n!ian (in!% Are e in those aters of enCuiry5 -r are e floating in or!s6
sy(bols6 (yths6 i!eas6 theories5$
-n the e8ening of @o8e(ber + at supper in Fasant Fihar6 'rishna:i began
!iscussing perception an! holeness% , sai! , ha! been atte(pting to un!erstan!
the holographic (o!el6 in hich a frag(ent contains the hole%
'rishna:i sai! in total perception there as the holeness of (ankin!% /e
spoke of a perception of sorro6 in hich there as total free!o( fro( sorroG
in such a perception hu(an consciousness as renee!% #hen he aske! hi(self6
,s that so5 ,n one perception of sorro6 is there the hole content of hu(an
sorro5$
=e starte! Cuestioning hi( an! he sai!6 ,f you see the hole (o8e(ent of
pleasureHseBual6 sensualHyou ha8e un!erstoo! the hole content of
consciousness%$
Coul! e be so aare of the bo!y6 the (in!5$ Achyut aske!%
Coul! there be an eBploration of attention5$ 'rishna:i Cuestione!% =e ha8e
sai!6 Oatten!%> But e ha8e ne8er probe! into attentionQ =hat is it to atten!5$
So(e of us respon!e!6 but 'rishna:i continue! to Cuestion%
=hat takes place as attention probes into itself5 ,f you are so atten!ing6 all
your senses are co(pletely aake% ,t is not one sense atten!ing6 but the totality of
all the senses% -therise you cannot atten!% =hen there is one sense that is
highly culti8ate! an! the others are not6 one cannot atten!% Co(plete sensory
acti8ity is a state of attention% Partial sensory acti8ity lea!s to concentration%
Attention has no center% Attention is a floing fro( itself6 it is (o8ing6 ne8er
stillG it flos6 (o8es6 goes on% Attention gets (ore an! (oreHnot (ore in a
co(parati8e sense6 but as a ri8er that has behin! it a 8ast 8olu(e of aterG a
tre(en!ous 8olu(e of energy6 of attention6 a8e upon a8e upon a8e6 each
a8e a !ifferent (o8e(ent% =e ha8e ne8er enCuire! hat takes place beyon!
attention% ,s there a total su((ation of energy5$ Scientists ha! tol! hi( that
energy an! (atter ere one% #he a8e still as energy6 it coul! ne8er be still%
,n penetrating into a a8e of perception as energy6 eBtraor!inary things go
on% #here is a sense of soaring ecstasyG a feeling of li(itless spaceG a 8ast
(o8e(ent of color%$ /e pause!% Color is ;o!6$ he sai!6 not the go!s e
orship6 but the color of the earth6 the sky6 the eBtraor!inary color of a floer%$
Asit aske! hesitatingly6 =oul! you inclu!e aro(a5$
-f course6 color is aro(a6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
/e as probing as he spoke% Can one see co(pletely ith all the senses5
See not ith the eyes alone6 but ith the earsG to listen6 to taste6 to touch5 #here
has to be har(ony% #his is only possible hen there is no center6 no (o8e(ent%$
=atch yourself one !ay6$ he sai! to us% 4ook at the sunlight an! see
hether you can see ith all your senses6 co(pletely aake an! co(pletely free%
=hich lea!s to an interesting fact2 =here there is !ishar(ony6 there is the self%$
Attention is co(plete har(ony% #here (ust be a great 8olu(e of energy
gathere! through har(ony% ,t is like the ri8er ;anga% Attention is a (o8e(ent to
eternity%$
#hat e8ening as historic2 'rishna:i alke! again on the groun! of the
#heosophical Society at A!yar% =e acco(panie! hi(% ?a!ha Burnier as ith
hi( in the car% #hey ere (et at the gate by the 8ice presi!ent of the
#heosophical Society% 'rishna:i as garlan!e! ith pink roses% ?a!ha an!
'rishna:i alke! by the roa! to the seashore6 past the hea!Cuarters buil!ing%
'rishna:i alke! past his ol! roo(G on his return he took the path along the ri8er%
,t as lo8ely lan!% #he trees ere beautifulG the people ho li8e! there ere
seeking refuge fro( the tra8ails of the orl!% 'rishna:i>s return hel! a great
poignancy%
A8ery !ay hile he as in 3a!ras6 'rishna:i !ro8e through the #heosophical
Society co(poun! to ?a!ha>s house6 an! fro( there he alke! on the beach%
-ne e8ening on returning fro( his alk 'rishna:i spoke of to young fisher(en
Hslen!er6 tall6 an! !ark*skinne! boys% =ith ease an! i((ense skill they
prepare! their cata(arans for launchingG turning the ru!!er toar!s the sea6
:u(ping in an! pushing the boat siftly into the !ark6 unknon sea% 'rishna:i
as !eeply (o8e!%
4ater in the year 'rishna:i as to go to the #heosophical Society to ha8e
lunch ith ?a!ha Burnier% Before lunch she took 'rishna:i to the (ain
#heosophical Society buil!ing here 1r% Besant ha! ha! her roo( an! here she
ha! li8e!% /e first 8isite! his on roo(6 hich o8erlooke! the ri8er an! the sea%
/e stoo! before the in!o6 gaDing across to here the ri8er (eets the sea%
4ater he as to say that he !i! not re(e(ber it% #hen e ent to the roo( of 1r%
Besant% Carefully he stoo! before her &howki ith its little !esk6 an! alke!
aroun! the roo(6 Cuiet6 listening% Su!!enly6 he stoppe! before a large photograph
of 4ea!beater hich hung on a all% #his as not there in (y ti(e6$ he sai!%
?a!ha Burnier sai! it ha! been place! there (any years later% 7or (inutes
'rishna:i stoo! before the portrait6 gaDing at itG then su!!enly he raise! his han!
an! sai!6 PaB6 paB%$ #hen he turne! to ?a!ha Burnier an! alke! out of the
roo(%
CHAPTER 37
, Su!!enly Sa the 7ace%$
#he go8ern(ent of Sri 4anka ha! in8ite! 'rishna:i to be a state guest hen he
ga8e his talks in Colo(bo% A nu(ber of his frien!s acco(panie! hi( to this
e(eral! islan!% 3ary Si(balist6 @an!ini6 an! , staye! ith 'rishna:i there at
Aucklan! /ouse6 the official guest house of the Sinhalese go8ern(ent% A8ery
effort ha! been (a!e by the Sinhalese go8ern(ent to elco(e 'rishna:i% /e as
in8ite! by the presi!ent to tea6 (et the pri(e (inister6 an! as inter8iee!
se8eral ti(es by the press% #he talks ere atten!e! by a 8ast nu(ber of peopleH
(onks an! lay(en6 Sinhalese an! #a(ilians6 (inisters an! clerks gathere! to
hear the (an of is!o(%
Asit Chan!(al as also in Colo(bo% /e ha! been in California an! ha! (et
scientists an! technologists orking on the frontiers of the ne sciences% /e
spoke to 'rishna:i of the electronic age into hich (an as being catapulte!G of
the a(aDing capacities an! skills of the ne co(puters an! the search for the
ulti(ate intelligence (achine%
Co(puter scientists ere pursuing the possibility of creating artificial
intelligence% #hey ere stu!ying the hu(an brain6 to see ho it orke! an!
hether it coul! be repro!uce!% Japanese scientists ere !eeply in8ol8e!% ,B3
ha! alrea!y starte! the search% 'rishna:i listene! eagerlyG his (in! instantly
percei8e! the !i(ensions an! !irections of this ne intelligence6 the
(agnificence of (an>s in8enti8e !ri8e6 an! ith it the enor(ous !angers to the
sur8i8al of hu(ankin!% ?ealiDing that (an as soon to be challenge! at
unprece!ente! le8els6 he Cuestione! Asit relentlessly%
4ater6 e hel! !iscussions on the co(puter an! the hu(an brain% ' sai!6 #he
brain has an infinite capacity% #hat i((ense capacity is being use! for (aterial
purposes%$ /e sa ith great clarity that ith the in8enti8e capacity6 certain
faculties of the brain oul! in a short ti(e be taken o8er by the (achine%
Ceasing to function6 oul! these faculties ither or shrink5$ /e aske!%
=oul! the brain sloly atrophy5 3an has to either eBplore ithin6 so that he
can use these ne tools rightly6 or perception6 co(passion an! the essence of
hu(anity as e kno it6 ill cease to be% #here are only to options open2 Aither
e co((it oursel8es to the hole range of entertain(ent outar!ly6 or e turn
ithin%$
'rishna:i as afire ith the Cuestion% /e !iscusse! it in Colo(bo ith us an!
later in ?ishi Falley an! 3a!ras% 7or o8er to years6 this proble( of the hu(an
brain an! the challenge of the (achine taking o8er the processes an! faculties of
the brain as 'rishna:i>s (ain concern%
-ne (orning , aske! 'rishna:i for a (eeting6 as , nee!e! so(e ansers to
Cuestions that puDDle! (e% /e as in a strange stateG he see(e! outsi!e hi(self% ,
Cuestione! hi( about his position that there ere no foothol!s to truth% , sai!6
3ost other syste(s of (e!itation state reCuire the nee! for support at the early
stages% &ou ha8e repeate!ly sai! that there are no steps6 no le8els% #he first step
is the last step% But going into your historical past6 as ell as in casual
con8ersations6 , ha8e obser8e! that you ha8e gone through all the kriyas6 the
actions knon to religious tra!ition% &ou ha8e teste! yourself6 you ha8e !enie!
your sensesG tie! a ban!age for !ays on your eyes to see hat it is to be blin!%
&ou ha8e faste! for !ays6 you obser8e! silence6 Omaun>6 for o8er a year in 19)1%
=hat as your reason for this silence5$
Probably it as to fin! out if , coul! keep Cuiet6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
1i! it help at all5$
@ot a bit6$ as the reply%
=hy !i! you !o it5$
, ha8e !one craDy thingsHeaten so that , !i! not (iB protein ith starchG
eaten only 8egetablesG then only protein%$
1o you put silence in the sa(e category5$ @an!ini aske!%
&ou (ean , !i! not talk to anybo!yHare you sure5 ,t as ne8er anything
serious% #here as no spiritual intention behin! the silence%$
,n the eBperience that took place in -oty6 you still sa 8isions% 1o you e8er
see 8isions no5$ , aske!%
@o%$ /e appeare! unsure% =ait a (inute% So(eti(es , !o% =hat !o you
(ean by 8isionsHpictures6 i(ages5 &ou see6 it (ust ha8e been a 8ery strange
thing hen they picke! (e up% As far as , re(e(ber6 3aster '% /% an! the
Bu!!ha ere alays there so(ehere in (y (in!% #heir i(ages use! to follo
(e for a consi!erable ti(e%$
&ou ha8e talke! about a face being ith you6 hich (erge! into your face%$
#hat is right%$
, a( asking you to!ay6 is that face still ith you5$
&es6 occasionally% , (ust go into this% =hy are you asking all these
Cuestions5$
, ant to rite an accurate account6 not only of e8entsG e8ents are 8ery
inconseCuential fro( (y point of 8ie%$
?ight fro( the beginning6 C% =% 4% an! A((a ha! sai! the face has been
create! for (any6 (any li8es% , as too young to kno hat they ere saying6
but apparently the face i(presse! the( tre(en!ously% #hey sai! it as the face
of the 3aitreya Bo!hisatt8a% #hey use! to keep repeating this6 but it (eant
nothing to (e6 absolutely nothing% 3any6 (any years later6 after the !eath of (y
brother6 an! (any6 (any years after thatH, can>t tell you hen6 but one (orning
, su!!enly sa the face6 a (ost eBtraor!inarily beautiful face6 that use! to be
ith (e for (any years% #hen gra!ually that face !isappeare!% ,t all began after
the !eath of the brother%$
4et us pursue the Cuestion of the 8isions6$ , sai!%
7or (any6 (any years , as not really all there% So(eti(es6 e8en no6 , a(
not all there% -:ai as totally in!epen!ent fro( C% =% 4% At -otaca(un! it as
totally in!epen!ent of ?a:agopal an! ?osalin!% After , (o8e! aay fro( -:aiH
after 19+9 to 19+86 things starte! happening6 like seeing this eBtraor!inary face% ,
use! to see it e8ery !ayHin sleep6 hile alking% ,t as not a 8ision% ,t as like
that picture6 an actual fact%$
&ou sa it e8en hen you ere aake5$ aske! @an!ini%
-f course6 on (y alks it as there%$
=e sa it in -oty% A tre(en!ous change taking place in your face6$ , sai!%
#hat is true%$
An! you sai! the Bu!!ha as there% &ou say that occasionally you still see
8isions%$
#he other night in 3a!ras , oke up ith this face%$
So it is still there%$
-f course%$
, oul! like to get a feel of it6$ , sai!%
&es% =hich is6 it is not a 8ision% ,t is not so(ething i(agine!% , ha8e teste! it
out% ,t is not so(ething that , ante!% , !o not say6 O=hat a beautiful face>Hthere
is no ish to ha8e it%$
=hat happens to you hen you get these 8isions5$
, look at the face%$
1oes anything happen to you5$
, !on>t kno% ,t is like cleaning the bo!y an! the face an! the air% , ha8e seen
the face in the !ark6 in the light6 hile alking% &ou (ay say that this is all
cuckoo% But it is so% , ha8e ne8er !one anything for any spiritual reason%$
Before the (ystical process that happene! in -:ai6 in your letters to 4a!y
A(ily6 you sai! you ere (e!itating e8ery !ay5$ aske! 3ary Si(balist%
All the (e!itation as on #heosophical Society lines% , !i! it because , as
tol! to !o it% ,t as part of the #heosophical Society belief6 but it (eant nothing
to (e% , !i! all that auto(atically%$
=hen you Ogre up6 ca(e to6> as it in a flash or as it so(ething hich
(ature! ithout your knoing5$ , aske!%
,n a flash6 naturally% , use! to ha8e a horror of 8os6 fasts6 8os of celibacy6
8os not to get angry% , ne8er took any 8os% ,f , !i! not like a thing6 that as
the en! of it% ,f , like! it6 , ent on ith it%$
=hen one rea!s the 3ot"%ook an! then rea!s the talks of 19+86 one fin!s
there has been a (a:or leap in the teachings% ,s there a leap taking place all the
ti(e5$
&es6 it is happening all the ti(e6 in (y brain6 insi!e (e% After tra8eling this
ti(e fro( 4on!on to Bo(bay an! then to 3a!ras6 that first night in 3a!ras6 ,
felt the brain eBplo!ingG there as an eBtraor!inary Cuality6 light6 beauty% #his is
happening all the ti(e6 but not e8ery !ay% #hat oul! be a lie% =hat is necessary
is Cuietness%%%$
, realiDe that things happen hen you are alone% ,t happene! hen you ere
suppose! to be 8ery Oill> in 19)96 in Srinagar an! later in Bo(bay% , ha8e ne8er
been certain hether you ha8e an illness or so(ething else% At the en! of any
serious illness6 you gi8e eBtraor!inary talks%$
,llness (ay be a purgation6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
, kno you ha8e been ill on to occasions in Bo(bay% , ha8e been present%
#here is a strange at(osphere hen you are ill%$
, re(e(ber your being ill in Bo(bay6$ @an!ini spoke% &ou ha! bronchitis%
=e ha! to cancel the talks% &ou ha! 1<0*!egree to 1<+*!egree te(perature%
Su!!enly you ante! to thro up% So , ran to get a basin% , hel! your han!% , sa
you ere about to faint% , calle! out an! you sai!6 O@o6 no%> &our 8oice ha!
change!% &our face ha! change!% #he person ho sat up as !ifferent fro( the
person ho ha! fainte!% &ou ere cure!%
&ou tol! (e not to lea8e the bo!y aloneG :ust to be there% &ou sai!6 O@e8er
be anBious near (eG ne8er get orrie!6 !on>t allo too (any people to co(e
near (e% ,n ,n!ia they ne8er lea8e an ill person alone%> &ou aske! (e to sit !on
Cuietly an! then you sai!6 O, (ust tell you so(ething% 1o you kno ho to help
a person !ie5 ,f you kno that so(eone is about to !ie6 help hi( to be Cuiet6 help
hi( to forget his accu(ulations6 to be free of his orries6 of his proble(s6 to gi8e
up his attach(ents6 all his possessions%> &ou ere silent an! then you sai!6 O,t is
:ust stepping o8er>% An! your face lit up% O,f you can>t !o that6 you are here you
are6 you re(ain here you are%> $
CHAPTER 38
,s ,t Possible to 'eep the
Brain Fery &oung5$
-n January 1+6 19816 'rishna:i ga8e a public talk in Fasant Fihar6 3a!ras%
Speaking of the brain6 he aske!6 ,s it possible to keep the brain 8ery young5 ,s it
possible for the brain to re:u8enate itself5 #his brain hich is so ol!6 ith its
infinite capacitiesG a brain that has e8ol8e! in ti(e through social6 econo(ic
pressuresG the brain hich is an eBtraor!inary instru(ent6 hich controls all
thinking6 all acti8ities6 all our sensory operationG can that brain beco(e totally
innocent5 , use the or! Oinnocent> in the sense that it cannot be hurt%$ /e aske!
each person in the au!ience not to agree6 but to obser8e their on (in!6 the
brain6 hich is 8ery 8ery subtle% Can e6$ he aske!6 challenge the brain itself
to fin! out hether it has the capacity6 the energy6 the !ri8e6 the intensity to break
!on this continuity of the past so that in the 8ery en!ing6 the brain cells
the(sel8es un!ergo a change6 a transfor(ation5$ /e as probing !eeply%
#hought is a (aterial processG thought is the outco(e of (e(ory6
eBperience6 knole!ge6 store! up in the brain cells6 in the thinking process itself%
An! it has functione! in a particular !irection6 continuously e8ol8ing% #hought6
(e(ory is a part of the brain% #he brain is (aterialG this brain contains (e(ory6
eBperiences knole!ge6 fro( hich co(es thought% So thought has its
continuity6 base! on knole!ge6 hich is the pastG an! that past is operating all
the ti(e6 (o!ifying itself in the present an! continuing% ,n this continuity it has
foun! i((ense security through beliefs6 illusion6 knole!ge% ,n this faith there is
a sense of being protecte!6 of being Oin the o(b of ;o!%> #his is an illusion%
Any !isturbance in that continuity is the challengeG an! hen it cannot respon!
properly6 it fin!s its security is !isturbe!%$ /e pause! an! as silent6 listening to
hi(self%
=atch this in yourself6 atch carefully% =e are asking hether the brainH
hich is the brain of all hu(an beings6 e8ol8e! i((e(orial ti(es6 con!itione!
by cultures6 religions6 by econo(ic6 social pressuresHhether that brain6 hich
has ha! a ti(eless continuity till no6 can !isco8er an en!ing of continuity as
ti(e5$ /e aske! the listeners not to be sti(ulate! by the speaker6 for then the
listener as !epen!ent on hi(% #hen the speaker beco(es your authority6 your
guru% #he !e(an! is that you be a light to yourself6 not accept the light of
another%$
/e !iscusse! !eath as a total en!ing an! !estruction of the brain6 an en!ing to
a continuity of life% #o un!erstan! this6$ he sai!6 can e eBa(ine Ohat is>5
#he Ohat is> of your life6 your e8ery!ay life5 #hroughout the ages e ha8e
clung to a continuity of life% =e ha8e ne8er aske! hat is the (eaning of !eath%
=e ha8e put !eath in opposition to life% But continuity i(plies ti(e% #he
(o8e(ent of thought% #i(e (eans (o8e(ent% 7ro( here to thereHto
psychologically reach fro( that hich is not beautiful to that hich is beautiful%
#o fin! out hat !eath is6 can that continuity en!5 Can the sense of !uration
en!5$ /e pause!%
1eath says to you6 Oen! it6> en! your attach(ents co(pletely6 because that is
hat is going to happen hen you stop breathing% &ou are going to lea8e
e8erything behin!%
So !eath i(plies the en!ing of attach(ent% ,t is only in the en!ing that there
is a beginning%
,t is only then that the brain can !isco8er for itself a Cuality of (o8e(ent
that is totally free of the past%$
'rishna:i aske! his listeners a Cuestion% ,f there is no en!ing6 hat happens
to the (in!6 to the hole (o8e(ent of consciousness6 yours or (ine6 to the
consciousness of (an5 =hat happens to our !aily life5 4ife is like a 8ast ri8er in
hich there is pain6 sorro6 anBiety% =hen the part !ies6 the strea( goes on%
3anifestation of the strea( is you6 ith your na(e6 an! so on% But you are still
part of this strea(% An! e are saying6 can you en! that strea(5 1o you follo5
Because the O(e> is the continuity% #he O,> is the beginning not only genetically6
but of that hich is han!e! !on generation after generation fro( (illennia% ,t is
a continuity6 an! that hich is continuous is (echanical% &ou obser8e a person
ho has insulte! you or praise! you% #he brain registers% So you ne8er actually
see% #his registration is hat gi8es continuity%
=e are laying the foun!ations to !isco8er hat is (e!itation% #he
un!erstan!ing of oursel8es is part of this (e!itation% ,n the un!erstan!ing of
sorro6 pain6 fear6 anBiety6 you see that consciousness is its content6 as tra!ition6
anBiety6 na(e6 position% Can this consciousness in hich is the brain6 hich is
part of the (in!6 part of consciousnessHcan this consciousness realiDe its
content6 realiDe its sense of !uration6 an! taking one part of that consciousness as
attach(ent6 en! it 8oluntarily5 #hat (eans6 can you break continuity5 =hich
(eans6 is it possible to register only hat is necessary an! nothing else5
'nole!ge is alays li(ite!% So the brain6 ha8ing foun! security in the
(o8e(ent of knole!ge6 clings to it an! translates e8ery inci!ent6 accor!ing to
the past% ,n the (o8e(ent of en!ing of continuity is co(plete or!er% #his insight
is the re8olution in the structure of the brain%$
'rishna:i>s or!s floe!% ,t is the brain that puts e8erything in its right
place% #hen6 in total insight into the hole (o8e(ent of consciousness6 the
acti8ity an! structures of the brain un!ergo a change% =hen you see so(ething
for the first ti(e6 a ne function begins to operate% &our ar(6 this ar( as
!e8elope! because of function% So hen the brain !isco8ers so(ething ne6 a
ne function is born6 a ne organis( co(es into being%
,t is necessary for a (in!6 for a brain to beco(e 8ery young6 fresh6 innocent6
ali8e6 youthful% #his is only possible hen there is no psychological
registration6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#hen he spoke of lo8e an! (e!itation% /as lo8e a continuity5 ,s lo8e !esire5
Can lo8e co(e into being like fresh (orning !e5 ,t cannot% ,f lo8e has a
continuity6 please go into it% 4o8e !oes not eBist in your heart6 that is hy the
orl! is in such a (ess%
#o co(e upon lo8e6 the hole strea( of consciousness (ust co(e to an en!%
Consciousness being your :ealousy6 your antagonis(6 your a(bition6 your !esire
for beco(ing bigger6 your !esire for seeking poer% =here there is any sense of
egotis(6 the other is not% An! the essence of egotis( is the process of
registration% #he en!ing of sorro is the beginning of co(passion%
@o6 can e talk of (e!itation5 #here are se8eral things i(plie! in
(e!itation% #here (ust be spaceG not physical space only6 but space ithin the
(in!% All our (in!s are occupie!% #his occupation is like a houseife ith her
cooking6 ith her chil!ren6 like a !e8otee ith his go!6 a (an ith his
occupation6 ith his seB6 ith his :ob% ,n that the (in! is holly occupie!6
therefore there is no space in it% ,f there is no or!er in your relationship ith your
ife6 ith your chil!ren6 forget about (e!itation% But absolute or!er can look to
cos(ic or!er% #hat or!er has relationship ith cos(ic or!er% Cos(ic or!er (eans
the setting of the sun an! the (oon6 the (ar8elous sky of the e8ening ith all its
beauty% But (erely eBa(ining the cos(os6 the uni8erse6 through a telescope is
not or!er% -r!er is here6 in our life% #hen that or!er has an eBtraor!inary
relationship ith the uni8erse%$
-ne e8ening a barefoot6 bear!e! sadhu earing an earth*colore! robe an! a
cloth tie! roun! his hea!6 spoke to Achyut6 an! later in the eek he (et
'rishna:i% /e belonge! to the ancient Si!!ha sect an! li8e! ith a guru in
Anantpur 1istrict% /is guru as ol! an! ha! tol! his !isciple that he ha! felt the
(ystic presence of a great being ho as teaching in the orl!% , a( !ying6$
the guru sai!6 so he ill be your guru6 fin! hi(%$ #he !isciple ha! an!ere!6
searching for the true teacher% /e ha! 8isite! all the ashrams6 but as not
satisfie!% #hen in 3a!ras he ha! hear! of 'rishna:i an! ha! co(e to the talks%
7eeling that he ha! foun! hat he sought6 he returne! to his guru an! !escribe!
hat he ha! seen% #he guru ha! confir(e! his insight an! ha! aske! hi( to
return to 3a!ras an! 'rishna:i% 4ater6 in 3a!ras6 the sadhu hear! that his guru
ha! !ie!%
#his sannyasi ha! secret knole!ge of plant alche(y an! the use of herbs in
(e!icinal recipes% /e kne the ti(e of the !ay or night hen the plants ere to
be collecte!6 ho store!6 an! the mantras that ere to acco(pany the (aking of
the potion% A great ele(ent of (agic as present in hat he sai!2 that plants ha!
intelligence an! aareness% #hey re8eale! the(sel8es only to those ho
approache! the( rightly% /e tol! Achyut6 A plant rongly approache!6 ith
gree! or !esire6 8anishes an! cannot be foun!% Plants an! herbs ha8e to be talke!
to% #heir per(ission (ust be taken before touching the(6 they ha8e to be
a!!resse! ith hu(ilityHO1o you per(it (e to touch you6 oul! you like (e to
ait5> #hey gi8e light an! fragrance to those ho co((une ith the(%$ /is
or!s ere re(iniscent of the (ysterious sacre!ness an! on!er for plants as
life*gi8ers6 protectors6 hol!ers of energy that is foun! in the hy(ns of the
Atharva !"da% 'rishna:i as 8ery intereste! in the (an an! his sensiti8ity an!
relationship to plants%
Achyut sent hi( out to carry 'rishna:i>s teachings a(ongst Si!!has an!
an!ering sects of sadhus%
CHAPTER 39
#he @ature of ;o!$
,n early 1981 , as aske! by ,n!ira ;an!hi to be chair(an of the a!8isory
co((ittee set up to organiDe the 7esti8al of ,n!ia celebrations in Anglan!%
1
,n
this connection6 , 8isite! Anglan! in 3ay% After (y official ork as o8er6 ,
ent to Brockoo! Park to (eet 'rishna:i% , aske! hi( hether e coul!
continue our !ialogues6 an! he agree!% #he first afternoon e !iscusse! the
nature of ;o!%$ A fe (e(bers of the Brockoo! Park School ere present%
, aske! 'rishna:i hether it as possible to inCuire into the nature of6 call it
;o!Hcall it creationHthe groun! of Being5$
, think it is possible$ 'rishna:i respon!e!6 if one can free the (in! of all
beliefHof all tra!itional acceptance of the or! O;o!> an! the i(plications an!
the conseCuences of that or!% Can the brain an! (in! be totally free to
in8estigate that hich the ,sraelis call the Ona(eless6> the /in!us Othe Brah(an6>
the O/ighest Principle5> #he hole orl! belie8es in the or! O;o!%> Coul! e
put aay all beliefs5 -nly then is it possible to in8estigate%$
But O;o!> is a or!G in it there is a storehouse of content% #herefore hen
the (in! says it is free of belief6 hat !oes it eBactly (ean5$
/u(an beings say they belie8e in ;o!6$ ansere! 'rishna:i% ;o! is
o(nipotent an! o(nipresent6 he eBists in all things% #here is a tra!itional
acceptance of that or! ith all its content% Can one be free of the (illion years
of this tra!itionHconsciously as ell as unconsciously to be free of that or!5$
At one le8el6$ , sai!6 it is possible to say that one is free% ,f you ere to ask
(e !o , belie8e in ;o!6 !o , belie8e in 'rishna6 ?a(a6 or Shi8a6 , oul! say no%
But that is not the final thing%$
@o6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
, continue!% #here is a feeling that ;o! goes far beyon! all or!s6 that it is
integral to the fact of life itself% Before , go into the origins of that or! , ha8e to
enCuire into the state of (y (in! hich says the outer beliefs are out for there is
a sense that ithout Oit> nothing coul! eBist% #hat it is the groun!%$
Shall e !iscuss the groun! fro( hich e8erything originates5$ aske! '%
/o !oes one fin! out5 -ne can only fin! out hen one is absolutely free6
otherise one cannot% -ur consciousness is so loa!e!6 cro!e!%$
, aske!6 ,s there a possibility of being in hich any (o8e(ent of the (in! as
belief is outG belief in any particular ;o! is negate!5$
1oes one negate it 8erbally or !eeply at the 8ery root of one>s being5 Can
one say , kno nothing an! stop there5$ 'rishna:i respon!e!%
, can>t say , kno nothing6$ , ansere!% But , can say that the (o8e(ent of
belief in a particular ;o!6 !oes not arise in the (in!% #herefore there is nothing
1
#he 7esti8al of ,n!ia celebrations6 organiDe! by the go8ern(ent of ,n!ia6 ere a (a:or cultural
(anifestation hich inclu!e! !ance6 (usic6 theater6 eBhibitions of the classical an! rural arts an! life6
science an! technology6 street perfor(ers6 se(inars6 fil(s6 an! so forth%
outer to negate as belief% But , still !o not kno the state of O, kno nothing6>
hich is a 8ery !ifferent state fro( the outer (o8e(ent as belief%$
/o !oes one procee!5$ ' aske!% Coul! e negate co(pletely the hole
(o8e(ent of knole!ge5 @egate e8erything eBcept the knole!ge of !ri8ing a
car an! all technological knole!ge5 Coul! one negate the feeling that one
knos5 #he hole accu(ulate! eBperience of (an6 hich says there is ;o! or
there ha8e been prophets an! seers ho ha8e sai! there is no such thing as ;o!%
Can one negate the knole!ge of all that one knos5$
-ne has co(prehen!e! the ay of negating the rising (o8e(ent%$
1o you (ean the rising (o8e(ent of thought as belief5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
&es6 but the !epths6 the !or(ant6 the (illion years that for( the (atriB of
one>s being6 ho !oes one touch that5$
Coul! e begin not by enCuiring into hether there is ;o!6 but ask hy the
hu(an (in! has orke!6 struggle! ith beco(ing5 Beco(ing not only
outar!ly6 but inar!ly% A beco(ing that is base! on knole!ge6 on constant
(o8e(ent6 an uprising (o8e(entHthe being so(ebo!y%$ 'rishna:i as
entering into the Cuestion%
@o6 are the to relate!5 =e starte! ith an in8estigation into the nature of
;o! an! e spoke of the (atriB an! beco(ing% Are they relate!5$
Aren>t they relate!5$ 'rishna:i aske!% , think they are% 4et us look at it% ,
(ay be rong% 3y being is essentially base! on hat ha8e un!erstoo!6 not
8erbally6 but the feeling in (e that there is so(ething enor(ous6 so(ething
incre!ibly i((ense% , a( looking about that part of (y being6 that knole!ge6
tra!ition that is the (atriB6 the groun! on hich one stan!s% So long as that is
there6 one is not actually free% Can one in8estigate into that5$
Sir6$ sai! 3ary Si(balist6 there is a heritage of that in e8ery hu(an life% ,s
that !ifferent fro( hu(an instinct to hich heritage attaches5 ,s it only heritage
han!e! !on6 or is it a !eep (o8e(ent that is innately in the hu(an (in! apart
fro( all influence5$
Are you saying6 is this inherent in (an5$ 'rishna:i aske! her%
,s there an inherent (o8e(ent in e8ery hu(an being toar!s so(e unknon
being hich is sought5 So(ething that is beyon! hat one is taught6 beyon!
hat one picks up through one>s heritage5$ she enCuire!%
,s it genetic5$ aske! so(eone else%
;enetic in8ol8es ti(e an! the (o8e(ent of groth6 e8olution% @o6 can one
totally e(pty all that6 the accu(ulation of a (illion years5 , a( speaking of the
(ost !eep*roote!6 so(ething that is unconsciousG !eep things are alays so% ,
think if e ant to in8estigate6 that (ust go too6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Can one go to the en! of the unconscious (in!5$ , aske!% ,s it possible6
ithout the unconscious being eBpose!6 for it to en!5 /o !oes one eBperience
that hich one cannot for(ulate5 #hat hich lies beyon! the total particulars of
any one person>s knole!ge5$
1on>t you ha8e the feeling6 the insight into this Cuestion6 that there (ust be
the total negating of all things6 or the beginning of all things5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
, co(prehen! the negation of all that rises in the brain% But the layers of the
unconscious6 the groun! on hich one stan!s6 can one negate that5 Perhaps one
is asking the rong Cuestion% Perhaps there can ne8er be a negation of that% /o
can one negate that5$ , as trying to un!erstan!%
Just a (inute% 3an has trie! in se8eral ays to fin! this% /e has faste!6 he
has torture! hi(self6 but he is alays anchore! to so(ething%$
&es%$
-ne can be free of anchors fro( (ost things% Can one be free fro( the
Cuestion5$ 3ary aske!%
-h6 yes6 oh6 yes6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#hen ho can Pupul ask that Cuestion5$ 3ary on!ere!%
@o6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #hat is the hole point% Can one !o such a thing first
of all5 ,s it possible to be so totally Onon*(o8e(ent>5 -therise (o8e(ent is
ti(e6 thought6 an! all that% Co(plicate! things are in8ol8e! in this% 7irst of all6
hy !o e ant to fin! the (eaning of ;o!5 #he (eaning behin! it all6 hy !o
e ant to fin! the (eaning of ;o!5 #he (eaning behin! all this5$
, ansere!6 #here is a part of us hich is still seeking%$
&es6 that is it% =e ne8er say O, !on>t kno%> #hat>s a state of (in! that is
absolutely (otionless% #o say O, !on>t kno%> $ /e pause!% , think that is one of
our !ifficulties% =e all ant to knoHhich (eans6 to put ;o! into the bay of
knole!ge%$
4ook Sir6 isn>t there in the ear listening6 in the eye seeingHin the or! sai!
Hthe hole content of hat ;o! is5 ,s it not necessary to ipe out this (atriB5$
, enCuire!%
Can you ipe out the (atriB5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
, !on>t kno%$
=hen you use the or! O(atriB6> hat !o you (ean by that5$ aske!
'rishna:i%
, only kno that beyon! the horiDons of (y (in!6 of the ob8ious beliefs6
there are !epths an! !epths in (e% &ou use a 8ery significant phrase so(ehere6
Oto play aroun! ith the !eep%> So you also point to !epths hich lie beyon! the
surface arising% ,s this !epth ithin the (atriB5$ , enCuire!%
@o6 noHcan>t be6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #hat is hy , a( asking6 hy !o , ant
to fin! out hether there is so(ething beyon! all this5$
Because6 'rishna:i6 , can !o nothing about this (atriB6$ , sai!%
, on!er hat you call (atriB5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#his !epth hich , cannot bring to the surface6 into the !aylight of
consciousness6 of perception6 of attention% #his !epth hich !oes not co(e
ithin the pur8ie of (y eyes an! ears6 but still is there% , kno it is there% ,t is
O(e%> @ot being able to see it6 touch it6 , ha8e a feeling that perhaps if there is a
right listening to the truth%%%$ , as trying to co((unicate%
4et us go into it% ,s that !epthHif , (ay use that or! for the (o(entHis
that !epth (easurable5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
@o6$ , replie!%
#hen hy !o you use the or! O!epth>5 1epth (eans (easurable%$
, a( using the or! !epth to connote so(ething that is beyon! (y
knole!geHyou see6 if it is ithin the contours of (y horiDon6 a8ailable to (y
senses6 then it is (easurable% But if it is not a8ailable , can !o nothing about it% ,
!o not ha8e the instru(ents to reach it%$
/o !o you kno that there is this !epth5 ,s it not i(agination5 1o you
kno it as eBperience5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
&es%$
AhQ be careful6 be careful%$
#he proble( isHif , say yes6 it is a trap% ,f , say no6 it is a trap%$
, ant to be Cuite clear6 Pupul:i6 forgi8e (e6 that e both un!erstan! the
(eaning of our or!s%$
Surely6 Sir% A or! can be sai! fro( the surface (in! an! it can be sai! ith
a great eight behin! it% , a( saying that this groun! contains the hole history
of (an% ,t has great eight an! !epth% Can , not go into it ithout your asking (e
hether it is i(agination5 Can>t you feel that !epth5$
, un!erstan!6 Pupul:i6 but you see%%%$ /e pause!% An! that !epthHis it the
!epth of silence5 =hich (eans the (in!6 the brain is utterly stillHnot so(ething
that co(es an! goes%$
/o can , anser that5$ , aske!%
, think one canHif there is no sense of attach(ent to it% @o sense of (e(ory
in8ol8e! in it% Pupul:i6 let us begin again% #he hole orl! belie8es in ;o!% ,n
Ceylon they ere 8ery upset hen , sai! the or! ;o! is put together by
thought% 1o you re(e(ber5 #he hole orl! belie8es in ;o!% "nfortunately6 ,
!on>t kno hat ;o! is% Probably , can ne8er fin! out%$ /e pause!% An! , a(
not intereste! in fin!ing out% But hat , a( concerne! ith is hether the (in!6
the brain6 can be totally6 co(pletely free fro( all accu(ulate! knole!ge6
eBperience5 Because if it is not6 it ill function alays ithin its fiel!6 eBpan!ing
HcontractingH8ertically6 horiDontallyHbut alays ithin that area% ,t !oes not
(atter ho (uch one accu(ulates6 it ill still be ithin that area% An! if the
(in! (o8es fro( that area an! says6 O, (ust fin! out6> then it is still carrying the
(o8e(ent6 the (in!6 ith it% , !on>t kno hether , a( (aking (yself clear5$
#here ere great pauses beteen 'rishna:i>s or!s%
/e continue!% So (y concern is hether the brain6 the (in!6 can be
co(pletely free fro( all taint of knole!ge% #o (e that is tre(en!ously
significant6 because if it is not6 it ill ne8er be out of that area6 ne8er%$
&ou speak of any (o8e(ent of the (in!Hany (o8e(ent%$
&es% Any (o8e(ent out of that area is to fin! that the brain is still anchore!
in knole!ge an! seeks further knole!ge about ;o!% So , say (y concern is
hether the (in!6 the brain is capable of being co(pletely i((o8able5 =hen
you put a Cuestion of that kin! either you say6 O,t is not possible> or O,t is
possible%> But if you !eny the possibility an! the i(possibility of it6 then hat is
left5 1o you follo5 Can , ha8e insight6 the !epth of insight into the (o8e(ent
of knole!ge so that the insight stops the (o8e(ent5 @ot , ho stop the
(o8e(ent nor the brain that stops the (o8e(ent% ,n that is the en!ing of
knole!ge an! the beginning of so(ething else% So , a( concerne! only ith the
en!ing of knole!ge6 consciously6 !eeply% #here is this enor(ous feeling that
co(es of oneness6 a har(onious unity6 an! if it is si(ulate! there is no point6
then you perpetuate yourselfH?ight5$ Again he pause! an! listene!%
#he O(e> is the essence of knole!ge6$ he continue!% , !oubt e8erything
(an has put together6 inclu!ing (yself% #hat is a 8ery cleansing attitu!e% So e
start ith the eBtraor!inary feeling of not knoing anything% ,f e coul! say6 O,
kno nothing6> in the !eepest sense of the or!Hit is thereHyou !on>t ha8e to
!o anything%$
'rishna:i challenge! (e% 4ook Pupul:i6 suppose this person ere not here%
/o oul! you !eal ith this proble(5 /o oul! you !eal ith this proble(
of ;o!6 belief5 /o oul! you actually !eal ith it ithout any reference to
anybo!y5$
&es6 e8en to !o that is possible6$ , respon!e!%
4et us (o8e fro( there% Aach one of us is totally responsible% =e are not
referring to past authorities or saints% Aach one is totally responsible to anser
this Cuestion% &ou ha8e to anser it%$
=hy shoul! , ha8e to anser it5$ , aske!%
, ill tell you hy% &ou are part of hu(anity an! hu(anity is asking this
Cuestion% A8ery saint6 e8ery philosopher6 e8ery hu(an being6 so(ehere in his
!epths6 is asking this Cuestion%$
Sir6 is this Cuestion not so(ehere6 in a sense6 rong5$ aske! 3ary%
, sai! so% But you ha8e to anser it ithout any reference to hat has been
sai! or not sai!% , co(e to you ith these Cuestions% , ask you as a hu(an being%
#o (e6 these Cuestions are tre(en!ously i(portant%$
3ay , ask you so(ething5 /o !oes one take a Cuestion like this an! lea8e
it in consciousness5$ , aske!%
Pupul:i6 either you ha8e ne8er thought about it6 or you ha8e thought about it
an! gathere! tre(en!ous infor(ation fro( booksH(aybe this is the first ti(e
you are facing this Cuestion% ;o slo6 go slo%$
&ou ha8e a ay of taking a Cuestion6 asking it6 an! then6 ithout any
(o8e(ent of the (in!6 re(aining ith it%$ , refuse! to be turne! aay%
&es6 that oul! be right%$
#hat is hat , ant to kno% -ne asks the Cuestion an! there is (o8e(ent of
the (in! toar!s it% =ith you6 hen such a Cuestion is put6 there is no (o8e(ent
of the (in! toar!s the Cuestion%$
&ou are right% @o are you asking ho to get it5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
, kno , can>t get it6$ , sai!%
@o% &ou are right to ask that Cuestion%$ /e a!!resse! e8eryone% 1o you
un!erstan! hat Pupul:i sai!5 1o it6 !o it% , a( asking you as a hu(an being6 an!
hu(an beings ha8e aske! these Cuestions for a (illion years% , co(e to you an!
put this CuestionHare you rea!y to anser or !o you hol! the Cuestion Cuietly5
/ol! it6 !o you un!erstan!5 An! out of that 8ery hol!ing ithout any reaction6
any response6 co(es the anser% ?ight5$
Coul! you say so(ething about the nature of that hol!ing5$ aske! Scott
7orbes6 a (e(ber of the faculty at Brockoo! Park School%
A cup hol!s ater% A pon! is a receptacle that hol!s ater6 a hol!ing ithout
any a8e6 ithout any (oti8e or (o8e(ent6 ithout any sense of trying to fin!
an anser%$
Sir6$ sai! 3ary6 ith (ost of us e (ay not try to fin! an anser6 e (ay
first re(ain Cuietly ith an unansere! Cuestion6 but sooner or later co(es an
anser that (ay not be so(ething fro( the !eep ells of the unconscious an!
ells up to fill that space%$
, kno% @o :ust a (inute% , ask you a Cuestion% O1o you belie8e in ;o!5> ,
a( asking that Cuestion% Can you say you !on>t kno or you !on>t belie8e or !o
you say6 (ay be5 =ithout saying anything about it6 can you look at the Cuestion5
Can you5 ,f you ask a !e8out Christian6 i((e!iately he oul! say6 O-f course ,
belie8e in ;o!%> ,f you ent to ,n!ia an! aske!6 i((e!iately there oul! be a
reaction% ,t is like pressing a button% 7or (e6 , really !on>t kno hether there is
;o! or not%$
,n hol!ing6 isn>t there an enCuiry5$ Scott spoke again%
&ou seeHunless you un!erstan! this6 it can lea! to a great !eal of
(isun!erstan!ing% Sir6 co(puters can be progra((e! by ten !ifferent professors6
ith a great !eal of knole!ge% #hey can hol! tre(en!ous infor(ation% -ur
brains are traine! that ay6 they ha8e been progra((e! for thousan!s of years6
an! that brain replies i((e!iately to a Cuestion% ,f the brain is not progra((e!6
it is atching6 looking% @o can our brains be not progra((e!5$
But this acti8ity of looking aroun! is not the hol!ing5 Can you say
so(ething about the hol!ing5$ Scott continue!%
&ou say it%$ 'rishna:i as pushing%
, ha8e nothing to say%$
Push6 push%$ 'rishna:i sai!%
As the cup hol!s ater or the earth hol!s the pon!6 is there so(ething that
hol!s like the cup an! the earth5$
@o% Pupul:i aske! (e a Cuestion hich as !epth% &ou recei8e! that
Cuestion% =hat as your response5$
=hich Cuestion6 Sir5$ aske! Scott%
7ro( the !epthHlayer after layer6 fro( the !epth6 the groun!% @o6 hat
as your reaction to that5$
&ou see6 Sir6$ , inter8ene!6 hen a Cuestion is nor(ally put6 it is like grains
of sugar being !roppe! on the groun!Hthe ants fro( all o8er co(e toar!s it% ,t
is the sa(e ith the (in!G hen a Cuestion is put6 (o8e(ents6 responses are
aakene! that gra8itate toar! the Cuestion% @o the Cuestion is can the
Cuestion be put ithout these (o8e(ents5$
=ithout the ants6 yes% , a( tol! that hen the brain is not operatingHis Cuiet
Hit has a (o8e(ent of its on% =e are talking of the brain that is in constant
(o8e(ent6 the energy of hich is thought% ,s thought the proble(5 /o ill you
!eal ith this Cuestion5 Can you Cuestion thought co(pletely5 1on>t co(plicate
it% , ask you a Cuestion% 1on>t anser i((e!iately% 4ook at it6 hol! it% #his is not
an eBa(ination% Can one ha8e a (in! that is capable of not reacting i((e!iately
to a Cuestion5 Can there be a !elaying reaction6 perhaps hol!ing the Cuestion
in!efinitely5
4et us go back6 Pupul:i% ,s there a state of (in! that is out of ti(e5 ,s that a
state of profoun! (e!itation5 A (e!itation in hich there is no state of
achie8e(ent6 there is nothing% #hat (ay be the groun!6 the origin of all things6 a
state in hich the (e!itator is not%$
3ay , ask6 is the (e!itator not the groun!5$
-b8iously not%$
=ithout the (e!itator6 can the groun! be5$
,f the (e!itator is there the groun! is not%$
But ithout the (e!itator6 can there be (e!itation5$ , aske!%
, speak of a (e!itation ithout the (e!itator%$
3e!itation is a hu(an process6$ , sai!%
@o6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
4et us in8estigate this if e (ay% 3e!itation cannot be free of in!i8i!ual
being% #here can be no (e!itation ithout the (e!itator% &ou (ay say the
(e!itator is not the groun!%$
@o6 :ust a (inute% So long as , a( trying to (e!itate6 (e!itation is not6$
'rishna:i sai!%
&es6$ , agree!%
#herefore there is only a brain6 (in!6 that is in a state of (e!itation%$
&es%$
@o that is the groun!% #he uni8erse is in a state of (e!itation an! that is
the groun!6 that is the origin of e8erything% #hat is only possible hen the
(e!itator is not%$
An! that is only possible hen there are no anchors%$
Absolutely% ,n that there is absolutely free!o( fro( sorro% #hat state of
(e!itation has co(e ith the co(plete en!ing of the self% Beginning (ay be the
eternal process6 the beginning6 an eternal beginning% /o is this possible5 ,s it at
all possible for a brain6 for a hu(an being to be so co(pletely6 utterly free of the
(e!itator5 #hen there is no Cuestion hether there is ;o! or no ;o!% #hen that
(e!itation is the (e!itation of the uni8erse%$ /e pause!%
,s it possible to be so utterly free5 , a( asking that Cuestion% 1on>t reply6
hol! it% 1o you see hat , (ean5 4et it operate% ,n the hol!ing of it6 energy is
being accu(ulate! an! that energy ill act6 not you acting% 1o you un!erstan!5$
After a long pause6 'rishna:i aske!6 So6 ha8e e un!erstoo! the nature of
;o!5$
CHAPTER 40
#he 3eaning of 1eath$
#he neBt (orning e !iscusse! !eath% , began the !ialogue by asking the
Cuestion that lies at the 8ery !epth of the hu(an (in!6 the co(ing to be an! the
ceasing to be6$ life an! !eath%
,t is aroun! these to6 the on!er of birth an! the fear of !eath6 that (an>s
life rests% At one le8el e un!erstan! birth an! !eath% But it is only the
superficial (in! that un!erstan!s% ,t is i(perati8e to un!erstan! at !epth the
(eaning of eBistence6 that hich is hel! beteen birth an! !eath an! the fears6
the !arkness that lie in the en!ing of anything%$
'rishna:i listene! as he alays !oes6 ith his hole bo!y an! (in!% /e
aske!6 =hy !o you use the or! Oproble(>5$
,n the(sel8es6 birth an! !eath are not a proble(G but the (in! can ne8er
lea8e the( alone% #he (in! clings to one an! re:ects the other% #he proble( is
because of the sha!os that surroun! the or! O!eath%> #here is :oy an! splen!or
in the or! Obirth>6 the co(ing to be an! there is the urge to hol! to it at any cost
an! the urge to e8a!e O!eath%> $ , as trying to open up the proble(%
, un!erstan! that%$
-ut of this arises sorro6 out of it arises fear6 out of it all !e(an!s6$ ,
continue!%
So hat is the Cuestion5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
/o !o e eBplore the or! O!eath>5 /o can e be free of the !arknesses
that surroun! the or!5 /o can the (in! look at !eath ith si(plicity an!
obser8e it for hat it is5$
Are you inclu!ing in your Cuestion the hole process of li8ing6 ith its
confusion6 co(pleBities6 an! the en!ing of that5 Are you concerne! to fin! out
hat it (eansH!eath an! this long perio! of struggle6 (isery6 etc%6 to hich e
cling5 Are you asking a Cuestion regar!ing the hole (o8e(ent of life an!
!eath5$ 'rishna:i as i!ening the Cuestion to inclu!e a nonfrag(ente!
holeness%
#here is a hole (o8e(ent of eBistence hich inclu!es life an! !eath6$ ,
sai!% But if you (ake the fiel! too i!e6 e cannot get to the !epth of sorro6
of en!ing% #here is such anguish in so(ething that Ois> an! so(ething that
Oceases to be%> So(ething that is (ar8elous6 fills one>s life6 an! the sorro that
lurks behin!Hfor that hich is6 (ust en!%$
@o6 hat is en!ing5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
So(ething that eBists an! ceases to beHceases to be eternally6$ , ansere!%
=hy !o you use the or! Oeternally>5$ Cuestione! 'rishna:i%
Sir6 so(ething Ois>6 an! in the 8ery nature of its Oisness> lurks the en!ing of
that6 the ceasing of that for eternity% #here is no to(orro in en!ing%$ , as
listening 8ery intently%
@o6 :ust a (inute% An!ing hat5$ #he probing ha! starte!%
An!ing that hich sustains% #he sorro is the en!ing of that hich sustains%$
#he en!ing of sorro6 but the en!ing is not eternity5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
@o6 the sorro hich arises hen so(ething that as so (ar8elous en!s%$
=ait a (inute% ,s it so (ar8elous5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
4et (e be (ore !irect% &ou are6 an! that you shoul! not beHthat is great
anguish6$ , sai!%
&ou are an!H$ 'rishna:i as still hesitant6 trying to get (e to see the
proble( ith an absolute clarity%
@ot you areH4ou6 'rishna(urti6 are6 an! in that state(ent there is the
tre(en!ous anguish of 'rishna:i ceasing to be6$ , sai!%
Are you speaking of the anguish of 'rishna:i en!ing6 or 'rishna:i hi(self
en!ing5 &ou follo5$
, !i! not follo6 an! aske!6 =hy !o you (ake the !istinction5$
1eath is ine8itable to this person6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #o hi( it !oes not
(atter% #here is no fear6 no anguish% But you look at that person an! say6 O3y
;o!6 one !ay he is going to !ie%> So the fear6 the anguish6 is your anguish6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
&es6 it is (y anguish%$
@o6 hy5$ Cuestione! 'rishna:i%
,t is% =hy !o you ask why5$
, ant to kno hy6 hen a hu(an being !ies6 beautiful6 uglyHthe hole
of hu(an eBistence is containe! in thatHhe !ies an! it is ine8itable% , look at that
person6 , lo8e that person6 he !ies6 an! , a( in anguish% =hy5 =hy a( ,
!esperate6 lonely6 in sorro5 =e are not talking intellectually6 but actually% ,
ha8e lost that person6 he has been !ear to (e6 (y co(panion6 an! he co(es to an
en!% , think it is really i(portant to un!erstan! en!ing6 because there is
so(ething totally ne hen there is an en!ing to e8erything6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,sn>t it ine8itableHhe as the perfu(e of (y eBistence6$ , sai!%
&es6 , lo8e! hi(% =ith hi( , felt full6 rich% #hat person co(es to an en!%$
,sn>t that sorro5$ , aske!%
,t is% 3y son6 (y brother !ies6 it is tre(en!ous sorro% ,t is as though the
hole of eBistence has been uproote!6 a (ar8elous tree torn !on in an instant% ,
she! tears6 there are anBieties6 an! (y (in! then seeks co(fort an! says , ill
(eet hi( in (y neBt life% @o , a( asking (yself6 hy !oes (an carry this
sorro ith hi(5 &ou see6 , a( in sorro because , ha8e ne8er un!erstoo!
!eeply hat is en!ing% , ha8e li8e! forty6 fifty6 eighty yearsG !uring that perio! ,
ha8e ne8er realiDe! the (eaning of en!ing% #he putting an en! to so(ething ,
hol! !ear% #he total en!ing of itHnot the en!ing of it6 to continue it in another
!irectionH$
=hat (akes the (in! capable of en!ing5 =hat co(es in the ay5$ , aske!%
,t is fear6 of course% Can one en! so(ething ithout any (oti8e or !irection6
ithout attach(ent6 ith all its co(pleBities6 ith all its links to (e(ory6 to
eBperience6 knole!ge5 1eath co(es%%% after all6 it is an en!ing of knole!ge6
that is hat one is clinging toHthe knole!ge that a person !ies6 an! , ha8e
looke! after hi(6 cherishe! hi(Hin that all conflict is in8ol8e!% Can one en!
totally6 absolutely to the (e(ory of that5$ /e pause!% #hat is !eath%$ 'rishna:i
as speaking 8ery sloly6 feeling his ay into the i((ense Cuestion%
,s there6 as you ha8e sai!6 Oli8ing to enter the house of !eath>5$
&es6$ he ansere!%
=hat !oes it eBactly (ean5$
#o in8ite !eath hile li8ing% #his !oes not (ean to co((it suici!e or take a
pill an! eBit% , a( talking of en!ingHnot only the !epth of it6 but the actual
en!ing of so(ething , ha8e cherishe!% , cling to that (e(ory an! , li8e in that
(e(ory% , cherish it6 an! therefore , ne8er fin! out hat it (eans to en!% #here is
a great !eal in that% #o en! e8ery !ay6 e8erything that you ha8e psychologically
gathere!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Attach(ent has to en!5$ , aske!%
#hat is !eath6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#hat is not !eath6$ , countere!%
=hat oul! you call !eath5 #he organis( co(ing to an en!5 -r the en!ing
of the i(age , ha8e built about the person ho !ies5$
,f you re!uce it to an i(age6 then , ill say the i(age , ha8e built about you%
But it is (uch (ore than that%$ , sai!%
#here is (uch (ore than that% But , a( enCuiring% , ha8e cherishe! you6 an!
the i(age of you is !eeply roote! in (e% &ou !ie an! that i(age gathers strength6
naturally% , put floers before it6 rite poetic or!s to it6 an! , a( in sorro% ,
a( talking about the en!ing of that i(age% #his (in! cannot enter into a totally
ne !i(ension if there is a sha!o of (e(ory lurking% ,f the (in! has to enter
the ti(eless6 the eternal6 it (ust not ha8e an ele(ent of ti(e in it% , think this is
logical% =hat is it you ob:ect to5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
4ife is not logical6 rational6$ , eBplaine!%
-f course it is not% But it is in the en!ing of e8erything that you ha8e
gathere!6 hich is ti(e6 that you un!erstan! that hich is e8erlasting6 ithout
ti(e% #he (in! (ust be free of ti(e6 an! therefore there (ust be en!ing%$ #he
or!s ere perfectly tune!%
#herefore there is no eBploration into en!ing5$ , aske!%
-h6 yes6 there is6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is eBploration into en!ing5$ , aske! again%
=hat is en!ing5 An!ing to continuity5 #he continuity of a particular
thought6 a particular !esire5 -r is it that hich gi8es life a continuity5 ,n birth
an! in !ying6 in that great inter8al there is !eep continuity% ,t is like a ri8er6 the
8olu(e of ater (akes the ri8er like the ;anga6 the ?hine6 the A(aDon% But e
li8e on the surface of this 8ast ri8er of life an! e cannot see the beauty of the
!epths6 if e are alays on the surface% #he en!ing of the continuity is the
en!ing of the surface%$
#here as a long pause% 7or (e6 there ha! been a sinking to 8ast !epths%
7ro( there , aske!6 =hat !ies5$
All that , ha8e accu(ulate!6 both outar!ly an! inar!ly% , ha8e built a
goo! business6 , ha8e a nice house6 nice ife an! chil!ren an! (y life gi8es
continuity to that% Can one en! that5$ sai! 'rishna:i%
But you (ean to tell (e that ith the !eath of the bo!y of 'rishna(urti6 the
consciousness of 'rishna(urti ill en!5 Please6 Sir6 there is great eight in this
Cuestion6$ , sai!%
&ou ha8e sai! to things6 the consciousness of 'rishna(urti an! the bo!y%
#he bo!y ill en!6 that is ine8itableH!isease6 acci!ent6 an! so on% So hat is the
consciousness of that person5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
"nen!ing6 aboun!ing co(passion% Suppose , say that6$ , sai!%
, oul!n>t call that consciousness%$
, a( using the or! Oconsciousness> because that fiel! is associate! ith the
bo!y of 'rishna(urti% , can>t think of another or!Hcan , say6 the (in! of
'rishna(urti5$
'eep to the or! Oconsciousness> an! let us look at it% Consciousness of a
hu(an being is its content% #he content is the hole (o8e(ent of thought6 the
learning of language6 beliefs6 rituals6 !og(as6 loneliness6 a !esperate (o8e(ent
of fear6 all that is consciousness% ,f the (o8e(ent of thought en!s6 consciousness
as one knos it is not%$
But thought as a (o8e(ent in consciousness as e kno it !oes not eBist in
the (in! of 'rishna:i6$ , sai!% &et there is a state of being that (anifests itself
hen , a( in contact ith hi(% #hereforeH$
Consciousness as e kno is a (o8e(ent of thought% ,t is a (o8e(ent of
ti(e6$ 'rishna:i inter8ene!% See that 8ery clearly% =hen thought co(es to an
en!6 not in the (aterial orl!6 but in the psychological6 consciousness as e
kno it is not%$
&ou can use any other or!6 but there is a state of being that (anifests itself
as 'rishna(urti% =hat or! shall , use5$
, a( not asking you to change the or!% But say6 for eBa(ple6 in real
(e!itation you co(e to a point that is absolute% , see it6 , feel it6 to (e that is a
(ost eBtraor!inary state% , contact it% #hrough you , feel this i((ensity% An! (y
hole urge6 stri8ing is to capture that% &ou ha8e it6 not Oyou> ha8e itH,t is there
H,t is not Pupul:i ha8ing it% ,t is not yours or (ine% ,t is there6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,t is there because of you5$ , aske!%
@o6 it is not there because of (e% ,t is there%$ Again there as a long pause%
#he (in! as touching so(ething%
=here5$ , aske!% 'rishna:i listene!6 an! let all ti(e hel! in the Cuestion en!%
,t has no place6$ he sai!% 7irst of all6 it is not yours or (ine%$
, only kno that it is (anifeste! in the person of 'rishna(urti% #herefore
hen you say it has no place , cannot accept it6$ , sai!%
Because you ha8e i!entifie! 'rishna(urti ith that5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
But 'rishna(urti is that5$ , respon!e!%
3aybe% But ' says that it has nothing to !o ith 'rishna(urti or anybo!y%
,t is there% Beauty is not yours or (ine% ,t is there6 in the tree6 in the floer%$
But6 Sir6 the healing an! the co(passion hich is in 'rishna(urti is not out
there% , a( talking of that6$ , sai!%
But this is not 'rishna(urti%$ /e pointe! to his bo!y%
,t is (anifeste! in 'rishna(urti an! it ill cease to be (anifeste!% #hat is
hat , a( talking about6$ , sai!%
'rishna:i>s response as sift% , Cuestion that% ,t (ay (anifest through U%
#hat hich is (anifeste! or is (anifesting !oes not belong to U%$
,t (ay not belong to U6$ , began%
,t has nothing to !o ith U%$
,t (ay not belong to 'rishna(urti% But 'rishna(urti an! that are
inseparable6$ , sai!%
&es% But you see6 hen you i!entify that ith the person6 e are entering
into so(ething 8ery !elicate%$ #he tentacle as probing%
, ant to go into it sloly% &ou seeHtake the Bu!!haHhate8er the
Bu!!ha consciousness as6 it as (anifeste! through hi( an! it has cease! to
be6$ , sai!%
, Cuestion that the consciousness of Bu!!ha cease! hen he passe! aay% ,t
as (anifeste! through hi(6 an! you say hen he !ie! that !isappeare!%$
, ha8e no knole!ge to say it !isappeare!6 but it coul! no longer be
contacte!%$
@aturally not6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
=hat !o you (ean by Onaturally not>5$ , aske!%
Because he as illu(ine!% #herefore it co(es to hi(% ,t as% #here as no
!i8ision% An! hen he !ie! his !isciples sai!6 O/e is !ea! an! ith his !eath that
hole thing is o8er%> , say it is not% #hat hich is goo! can ne8er be o8er% As e8il
Hif , can use that or! ithout too (uch !arkness in the or!He8il continues
in the orl!% ?ight5 #hat e8il is totally !ifferent fro( the goo!% #he goo!
(anifests6 the goo! ill alays eBist6 as the e8ilHhich is not the opposite of
the goo!Hcontinues%$
&ou say that great illu(ine! co(passion !oes not !isappear6 but no , can
contact it5$ , persiste!%
&es% But you can contact it hen that person is not% #hat is the hole point%
'rishna(urti has nothing to !o ith it6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hen you say6 Obe a light to yourself6> is it in8ol8e! ith contacting Othat>
ithout a person5$
@ot contacting6 but recei8ing6 li8ing it% ,t is there for you to reach out an!
recei8e% But thought6 as consciousness as e kno it6 has to co(e to an en!%
#hought is really the ene(y of that% #hought is the ene(y of co(passion% An! to
ha8e this fla(e6 it !e(an!s not sacrifice6 not this6 not that6 but an aakene!
intelligence hich sees the (o8e(ent of thought an! the 8ery aareness en!s it%
#hat is hat real (e!itation is%$
=hat significance then has !eath5$ , aske!%
@one% ,t has no significance6 because you are li8ing ith !eath all the ti(e%
Because you are en!ing e8erything all the ti(e% , !on>t think e see the beauty
an! i(portance of en!ing% =e see continuity ith its a8es of beauty6 its
superficiality%$
, !ri8e aay to(orro6 !o , cut (yself co(pletely fro( you5$ , aske!%
@o6 you cut yourself aay fro( that eternity6 ith all its co(passion6 if you
(ake (e a (e(ory%$ /e pause!% , (eet the Bu!!ha% , ha8e listene! to hi( 8ery
!eeply% ,n (e the hole truth of hat he says is abi!ing6 an! he goes aay% /e
has tol! (e 8ery carefully6 OBe a light to yourself%> #he see! is floering% , (ay
(iss hi(% /e as a frien!6 so(ebo!y ho( , really lo8e!% But hat is really
i(portant is that see! of truth hich he has plante!Hby (y alertness6 aareness6
intense listening6 that see! ill floer% -therise6 hat is the point of so(ebo!y
ha8ing it5 ,f U has this eBtraor!inary illu(ination6 a sense of i((ensity6
co(passion6 an! all that6 if only he has it an! he !ies6 hat is the point of it all5
=hat5$
3ay , ask one Cuestion5 =hat is the reason6 then6 for his being5$ , aske!%
=hat is the reason for his being6 for his eBistence5 #o (anifest that5$ #here
as a pause6 then 'rishna:i sai!6 #o be the e(bo!i(ent of that6 hy shoul!
there be any reason5 A floer has no reason6 lo8e has no reason6 it eBists% , try to
fin! a reason an! the floer is not% , a( not trying to (ystify all this% ,t is there
for anyone to reach out an! to hol!% So6 Pupul:i6 !eath an! birthHhich (ust be
an eBtraor!inary e8ent to a (other6 an! perhaps to a fatherHbirth an! !eath are
far apart an! all the tra8ail of continuity is the (isery of (an% ,t is hen
continuity en!s each !ay that e are li8ing ith !eath% #hat is a total reneal%
#hat is so(ething hich has no continuity% #hat is hy it is i(portant to
un!erstan! the (eaning of en!ing totally% Can there be an en!ing to eBperience6
or that hich has been eBperience! an! re(ains in the (in! as (e(ory5$ /e
pause!% Coul! e go into the Cuestion hether a hu(an being can li8e ithout
ti(e an! knole!ge apart fro( physical knole!ge5$
, challenge! hi(% ,sn>t the li8ing ith en!ing the core of this Cuestion5 #hat
is6 hen the (in! is capable of li8ing ith en!ing6 it is capable of li8ing ith the
en!ing of ti(e an! knole!ge% ,s it that you can !o nothing about it5 ,s it that
you ha8e to listen an! obser8e an! !o nothing else5 @o , a( getting to
so(ething rather !ifficult% #here is the strea( of knole!ge% =hen , ask6 OCan ,
be free of the strea(5> is it not one ele(ent of the strea( of knole!ge asking
that Cuestion5$
-f course6 of course6$ 'rishna:i respon!e!%
#hen in that there is no (eaning% #he strea( of knole!ge6 because it is
challenge!6 respon!s% #he only possible anser is the listening to the response%$
A throing up6 a listening6 a floering6 an! a subsi!ing6$ sai! 'rishna:i
fro( great !epth%
,s there anything else for (an to !o but to be aake to this arising5$
An! falling5 Are you asking to really un!erstan!He ill call it goo!ness
for the (o(ent% Can you !o anything5 ,s that hat you are saying5 , a( not
entirely sure of that%$
#hat is hat , ante! to knoHtell (e%$
,sn>t that rather an ulti(ate state(ent5 , can !o nothing about it6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
@o6 Sir6 either , can !o or%%%$
4et us fin! out6$ sai! 'rishna:i% &ou coul! feel the tentati8e probing (in!%
Aither , can !o6 then the neBt Cuestion is6 O=hat can , !o5> $
=hat (akes you say you cannot !o5$ aske! 'rishna:i% 4et us in8estigate
together% =hat (akes you say you can !o nothing about it5 About hat5$
About this arising fro( the strea(% #hat is hat e are talking about% #here
is a strea( of knole!ge% Aither , a( separate fro( that strea(H$
=hich you are not6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,n in8estigating6 , see6 , a( not%$
, un!erstan! that% ,f you (ake the state(ent O, a( the strea( of knole!ge
an! , can !o nothing about it6> then you are playing ith or!s%$
#hen hat is possible5 =hat is the state of (in!5$
#hat is better6$ 'rishna:i interrupte!%
#hat is sensiti8e to the arising an! the falling6$ , sai!%
,f it is sensiti8e6 there is neither arising nor en!ing6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=e !on>t kno that stateHthe fact is6 there is arising6$ , sai!%
Can>t you !o so(ething about the arising5 Can>t you !o so(ething ithout
trying to change it6 (o!ify it6 or escape fro( it5 Can one see the arising of anger
an! be aare of that5 Can one let it floer an! en!5 Can one see anger arise an!
not get 8iolent about it5 Can one atch the (o8e(ent of it6 let it floer6 an! as it
floers it !ies5$
#he (in! that is capable of obser8ing6 ho !oes anger arise at all5$
,t (ay be that the (in! has not un!erstoo! the hole (o8e(ent of
8iolence6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
@o6 ho !oes one obser8e so(ething ithout the obser8er5 -r !oes one
obser8e ith the obser8er5$
#he hu(an (in! has separate! itself as the obser8er an! the obser8e!6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
, can obser8e anger arising6 atch its (anifestationsHnot interfere ith its
(anifestationsHan! atch it subsi!e6$ , sai!%
#hen you can !o so(ething about it%$
#he (in! e call aake6 that is hat it !oes%$
-nly the (in! that sees that it can !o nothing is (otionless%
So6 ha8e e6 in this !ialogue6 seen the (eaning of !eath5$
CHAPTER 41
4earn to 1ie to &ourself
Co(pletely%$
-n -ctober ..6 19816 'rishna:i arri8e! in 1elhi ith Asit Chan!(al% 'rishna:i
ha! been ill in Brockoo! a fe !ays earlier an! ha! also pulle! a (uscle in his
back% /e as looking 8ery frail an! ha! lost a great !eal of eight% /e ha! age!
an! his shoul!ers ere boe!% /e ante! to talk seriously to us in the afternoon%
At about +20< P%3% he starte! talking to @an!ini an! (e% /e sai! that a fortnight
back he as in Brockoo!G he ha! been Cuite ill an! in be! for a (onth% -ne
night he aoke ith a feeling of being co(pletely ell% A8ery organ in his bo!y
as healthy an! aake% ,n that state he ha! a sense that the !oor of !eath as
open% /e as stepping through6 co(pletely aake an! co(pletely still% At one
instant of !eath6 hoe8er6 the !oor close!% /e !i! not close the !oor6 the !oor
close!%
/e then turne! to (e 8ery seriously an! sai!6 1eath can co(e at any
(o(ent%$ /e aske! (e ho , as physically% , sai! , ha! not been too ell% /e
sai!6 &ou ha8e to be ell% &ou ha8e to outli8e (e%$ An! then he sai! strange
or!s6 hich he repeate!6 4earn to !ie to yourself co(pletely%$ #he frail bo!y
as shaking6 yet there as a roar of thun!er in his or!s%
7ro( 1elhi 'rishna:i ca(e to Faranasi% /is first talk as eBalte!% /e spoke
about the teaching as the (irror in hich you see Ohat is> reflecte!% #he
teaching is perception ithin you6 of the actual%$
'rishna:i sai!6 See6 ask6 hat is religion6 hat is thought5 See thought
arising6 atch itHithout that all else is illusion an! beco(ing% #he truly
religious (in! is concerne! ith !isco8ery an! the un!erstan!ing of hat #ruth
is%
4ook6$ he sai!6 fin! out the origin6 the beginning of thought6 operating in
ti(e% 7or (illennia6 (an is caught in pattern6 in knole!ge% #here is no free!o(
in pattern6 in knole!ge%$ /e spoke of the future of (anHof co(puters taking
o8er the in8enti8e capacity of the brain% Scientists ere pon!ering the ulti(ate
intelligence (achineH(other co(puters that coul! possibly create future
co(puters% Co(puters in the future oul! in8ent go!s6 create philosophy% #hen6
hat is (an5$ 'rishna:i aske!% #he only thing (an can !o hich the co(puter
cannot is look at the e8ening star%
#here are only to alternati8es for (an2 Aither he co((its hi(self to
entertain(ent outar!ly6 as sport6 religion6 ritual6 or he turns inar!% #he brain
has an infinite capacity6 no use! technologically% #he brain is occupie! by the
(aterialHhen this function is taken o8er by the (achine6 the brain ill ither%
-nly religion can bring about a ne culture% A religion that is totally in!epen!ent
of superstition an! ritual% 7or that one has to unco8er that hich is beyon! ti(e6
beyon! thought%$
At lunch Jagannath "pa!hyaya as present% /e ha! :ust been gi8en a @ehru
7elloship an! as going on his first trip abroa!6 8isiting Bu!!hist centers in
se8eral countries% 'rishna:i aske! ho he oul! co((unicate ith aca!e(ics6
for Pan!it:i kne no Anglish6 though he coul! un!erstan! the spoken or!%
Pan!it:i replie! that he oul! con8erse ith his counterparts in Sanskrit% Soon
'rishna:i began a!8ising the Pan!it on hat clothes he shoul! ear in Aurope%
Jagannath "pa!hyaya as beil!ere! an! o8erhel(e! hen 'rishna:i aske!
Achyut to (ake a list of clothes for hi( to take6 inclu!ing oolen long:ohns%
'rishna:i as 8ery concerne! that "pa!hyaya oul! suffer because he oul! not
be able to stan! the inter abroa!%
=e then !iscusse! the (orning talk% "pa!hyaya:i sai! he ha! !iscusse! the
talk ith his frien!s an! they felt that6 for the first ti(e6 they ha! actually
contacte! hat 'rishna:i sai!% ,n the beginning of the 19)<s6 hen pan!its of
Faranasi ha! first hear! 'rishna:i6 the Bu!!hists hel! that 'rishna:i as
speaking Bu!!his(6 the Fe!antins that he as in the strea( of Fe!anta% 4ater6
"pa!hyaya:i felt that 'rishna:i as (ore in the strea( of @agar:una% Again6 at a
later perio!6 he felt that 'rishna:i>s or! as hat @agar:una oul! ha8e sai!
ha! he been ali8e to!ay% ,t as rele8ant to the conte(porary (o(ent% Since
3a!ras last year6 Pan!it:i ha! been thinking ane% /e coul! no longer (ake any
state(ent on 'rishna:i6 he as still probing% 'rishna:i sai! he ha! talke! a great
!ealG there ere a nu(ber of books% People referre! to the( as 'rishna(urti>s
teachings%$ #he teachings ere not the book6$ he sai!% #he only teachings
ere6 O4ook at yourself% AnCuire into yourselfHgo beyon!%> #here is no
un!erstan!ing of the teaching6 only un!erstan!ing of yourself% #he or!s of '
ere a pointing of the ay% #he un!erstan!ing of yourself is the only teaching%$
Euestione!6 Jagannath "pa!hyaya eBplaine! to 'rishna:i the nature of
@agar:una>s negation% ,t as the negating of all !octrine6 belief6 inclu!ing the
!octrine of the Bu!!ha% 'rishna:i as 8ery intereste!% 4ater6 he aske!
"pa!hyaya:i6 /o !o you approach a proble(5$ "pa!hyaya:i coul! not
un!erstan!% 'rishna:i kept on probing% /e sai!6 ,n the approach is the anser6
not aay fro( it%$ Jagannath "pa!hyaya sai! he un!erstoo! 8erbally%
-n @o8e(ber .+6 19816 Achyut6 ?i(poche Sa(!hong6 an! , ha! lunch ith
'rishna:i% #he ?i(poche>s face as 8ery gra8e% =e spoke of #ibet an! the
possible return of the 1alai 4a(a% 'rishna:i aske! Cuestions on the 8arious
schools of Bu!!his( in #ibet% Su!!enly6 the ?i(poche sai!6 7or the last fe
!ays , ha8e knon great sorro% , ha8e (e!itate!Hlooke!6 listene!6 but it is
there%$ /e ha! tears in his eyes an! !eep sorro on his face% =e talke! of the
en!ing of sorro an! the hol!ing of sorro in the (in! an! hat it in8ol8e!%
'rishna:i su!!enly put his to han!s o8er his heart an! sai!6 ,t is here%$ , aske!
hi( to eluci!ate that gesture% /e sai!6 7irst of all6 one (ust obser8e6 see ith
great care the (in! an! its functioning6 listen to hat is ithin an! ithoutG out
of this arises sensiti8ity an! in sensiti8ity there arises insight% #hat insight alone
ill ipe aay sorro%$
A !ay earlier e ha!6 at a s(all !iscussion6 spoken of ti(e an! knole!ge%
Can the brain be free of ti(e as beco(ingHcan it change its !epen!ence on
psychological ti(e5$ , sai! that hen one looke! at the teaching6 it ha! first
concerne! itself ith in!i8i!ual transfor(ation% /e spoke of the (in! of (an6 the
(illion years of (an>s history6 containe! in the brain cells an! the transfor(ation
in the brain cells% #he birth of the global (in! !e(an!e! an urgency6 a
re8olution in the hu(an con!ition% ,n the last fe years 'rishna:i ha! !enie! any
place to the in!i8i!ual% /e ha! gone beyon! (an$ an! the hu(an con!ition% /e
ha! been speaking of the uni8erse6 an! a sense of the cos(ic ha! entere! his
teachings% 'rishna:i as asking6 =hat is (an>s relationship to the uni8erse5$ ,
again aske! 'rishna:i6 /as there been a change in your teachings5$ /e
pon!ere! for a fe (o(ents6 then sai! pointing to the ri8er ;anga6 at the
source6 that ri8er is one !ropHit is the ;anga%$
/e spoke of the (e!itation of the uni8erse as the groun! of creation%
3e!itation being a state ithout horiDons6 space ithout li(it6 an! an en!ing of
ti(e% #he or!s ti(eless eternity$ ere part of his 8ocabulary% /e brought into
his teachings the logic of Bu!!his(6 an! ith the en!ing of logic an! thought he
probe! into space6 using intelligence as the instru(ent% #he probing is ith
nothing6 into or!less en!less being%$
Can one hol! that in consciousness5$ he aske!% #hen6 hat is
consciousness5$
-n a alk6 he sai!6 #he enCuiry ithin is infinite% &ou (ust be alone6
strippe!6 then you can take a :ourney into the unknon%$ /e as still probing6
feeling out6 he continue! to Cuestion%
Another afternoon at lunch he as pon!ering the i((ensity of ti(e an! its
i(plications% /e aske!6 ,s inner ti(e a fact5 ,s there the arro of ti(e ithin5$
/e spoke of creation as total !estruction% ,n life there is both creation an!
!estructionHthe 8ery act of listening is the (iracle6 it is light in !arkness% ,n it is
(utation an! !eep uprooting% Coul! one in the act of listening6 eBplore into
oneself5$ he aske!%
=hile in ?a:ghat6 'rishna:i probe! into the nature of attention% /e aske! us6
=hat is it to atten!5$ /e sai! that the total attention of one thought unfol!s the
hole nature of thought%$
, sai! that for such a total attention6 the (in! ha! to ha8e eight% A8ery
attention ga8e !epth to the groun! of the (in!% 'rishna:i refuse! to accept that
the (any acts of attention ga8e !epth to the (in!% @o preparation is necessary6$
he sai!%
, aske! hi(6 =hat ga8e the (in! the siftness6 the insight to percei8e that in
one thought6 all thought is re8eale!5$ 'rishna:i spoke of the necessity for the
brain cells to be totally still% , sai! there as an inherent ten!ency in the brain to
(o8e% ,n asking the brain to be totally still6 'rishna:i as going against the
nature of the brain%
3utation is i((e!iate6$ 'rishna:i sai!% #he Cuestion is6 hat (akes it take
place5$
Biologically6 (utation is possible hen there is a tre(en!ous necessity for
such (utationG or6 ith the en!ing of a particular function of the brain6 the cells
ither aay an! a ne cell is born6$ , co((ente!%
#he absolute necessity to change creates the biological nee! to fin! the ne%
As knole!ge cannot transfor( (an6 , ask6 is there an action that is not base! on
knole!ge5$
'rishna:i>s attention as clea8ing into (in!6 establishing a !irect contact6
touching the (in!s aroun! hi(%
, sai!6 , ha8e to obser8e the (in!6 to see its traps% #hat is insight%$
'rishna:i interrupte! (e% @o6 you are a tra!itionalist% &ou are speaking of
years of preparation to see this% , say6 insight is the perception of this pattern%
,nsight breaks the pattern%$
, sai!6 #he or! Oinsight> is an interesting or!% ,t i(plies sight into the
ithin% ,nsight is to turn your face aay fro( the knon%$
'rishna:i sai!6 &es% #he brain is con!itione! to a pattern% #he 8ery
biological necessity (akes it to break the pattern% #he insight nee!e! to see this
!oes not nee! training6 nor ti(e%$
, sai!6 , a( not speaking of continuity as ti(e6 but insight as a !eepening of
the (in!%$
'rishna:i sai!6 1eepening is ti(e% See hat is i(plie! in hat you are
saying%$
, sai!6 &ou are speaking of the (in! being totally still% #enty years ago
hen you aske! such a Cuestion6 (y thoughts (o8e! toar!s the Cuestion% #his
no longer happens% #he brain is still an! listens% #here is a !ifference in Cuality
beteen the to states% /o can you !eny the tenty years5$
'rishna:i sai!6 #i(e (akes the brain !uller an! !uller% , Cuestion the hole
concept of ti(e to get anyhere% , !on>t accept inner ti(e%$
, a( not talking of it as practice6$ , sai!%
But you are gi8ing strength to ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i% /o !oes the ri8er in
floo! flo5$ he aske!% &et the first fe !rops are the ri8er%$
Achyut spoke6 &ou are so relentless in your logic% #here is such i((ensity
in hat you say% &et6 , see that there is a blockage in (e that co(es in the ay of
(y un!erstan!ing you%$
'rishna:i replie!6 Coul! you consi!er !enying ti(e5 @ot ti(e as the linear
strea(6 but psychological ti(e as beco(ing% Can you so !eny ti(e that it ceases
in your brain5 =e are speaking of the psychological process of ti(e as a
(o8e(ent fro( here to there%$ /e pause!% Can you listen Cuietly5$ he aske!%
Can you accept ti(e as sunrise an! sunset an! say6 there is no other ti(e5$ he
pause!% 1on>t say Oyes%> 1o you see that this i(plies that there is no
psychological future5 ,t (eans the past has its on action6 but not as the
(o8e(ent of ti(e6 as beco(ing so(ething% , a( asking you Ono%> , say6 there is
no preparation for insight% 1o you see that5 Can you see i((e!iately6 ithout
ti(e5$
, sai!6 -ne can see that the brain cells an! thought are one% #he brain cells
for (illennia ha8e been con!itione! to (o8e in a pattern% 'rishna:i sai! to (e
so(e years ago that the brain cells coul! not rene the(sel8es6 but a ne cell
ha! to be born%$
'rishna:i sai!6 #ransfor(ation cannot take place in the ol! cell6 nor in
thought% #he ne can ha8e no relationship to the ol!% All change6 the (o8e(ent
fro( one corner of the brain to another6 is not reneal% 7in! out6 hether it is
possible to break con!itioning an! !isco8er so(ething totally ne%$
, sai! that in total attention as the en!ing of the ol!% , coul! not kno or
contact the brain cells6 , coul! only kno thought% Any operation of attention has
to be on thought% #hen , aske!6 =e ha8e sai! that (o8e(ent is inbuilt into the
brain% Can that brain6 hich for (illennia has knon (o8e(ent6 not (o8e5$
&es6 no e are getting it6$ sai! 'rishna:i% Can one see the brain cell as
thought5 Can one see that attention can only act on thought5 An! that
transfor(ation cannot act an! has no relationship ith thought5 #he ol! has to
en!%$
, returne! to @e 1elhi an! as at the airport to recei8e 'rishna:i hen he
arri8e! ith Achyut fro( Faranasi on the last !ay of 1ece(ber 1981% #hey both
staye! at (y house at 11 Saf!ar:ung ?oa!% ,t as the first ti(e that 'rishna:i6
Achyut6 an! , ha! been alone together6 staying in the sa(e house6 an! 'rishna:i
co((ente! on it%
#he neBt (orning after breakfast e ent into the sitting roo( an! 'rishna:i
began talking of 3rs% Besant an! 4ea!beater% /is great lo8e for 3rs% Besant as
e8i!ent% /e tol! us that6 as a chil!6 he ha! (any eBtrasensory poersHthe
capacity to rea! thought6 or hat as ritten in an unopene! letter% /e coul!
(ake ob:ects (aterialiDe6 see 8isions6 an! foretell the future% /e ha! the poer of
healing% But he ha! put all these poers asi!e naturally% /e ha! ne8er felt any
interest in the(% =e trie! to pursue the topic6 hen all of a su!!en he aske!6 1o
you belie8e in (ystery5$
&es6$ , sai!% =hen e see you an! talk to you seriously6 a (ysterious
at(osphere co(es into being%$
'rishna:i sai!6 &es6 that is so%$
, sai!6 #here is a feeling of touch ithout anyone being thereHa feeling of
presence%$
,t is in the roo(6$ sai! 'rishna:i% , !on>t kno hether you feel itHhat is
that5$ an! then a strange look entere! his eyes% , (ust be afully careful about
this%$ /e stoppe! speaking su!!enly6 then sai!6 &ou askH, on>t ask%$
, sai!6 =hat is it5$
Be careful% =hen e talk of this6 either e are i(agining it or%%%$
=hat takes placeHis it linke! ith you5$
&es6 ob8iously%$ 'rishna:i>s (oo! as changing6 he as speaking fro(
great !epth6 as if tra8eling siftly through 8ast spaces ithin% , think there is a
force hich the #heosophists ha! touche! but trie! to (ake into so(ething
concrete% But6 there as so(ething they ha! touche! an! then trie! to translate
into their sy(bols an! 8ocabulary6 an! so lost it% #his feeling has been going on
all through (y lifeHit is not%%%$
4inke! ith consciousness5$ aske! Achyut%
@o6 no% =hen , talk about it6 so(ething tre(en!ous is going on% , can>t ask
it anything6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#hrough in!os6 !oors6 silence poure!%
All your illnesses ha8e been 8ery strange% A8ery serious illness has been
folloe! by a fount of ne energy6$ , sai!% #here as a long pause%
'rishna:i su!!enly aske!6 =hat are e talking about5$
,s it so(ething outsi!e of you5 1oes it protect you5$ , spoke hesitatingly%
&es6 yesHof that there is no CuestionHabsolutely%$
A8ery ti(e it takes placeH!oes the nature of it change5$
'rishna:i sai!6 @o6 no%%%$
1oes it intensify5$ , aske!%
&es6 it intensifies%$ Again there as a long pause%
#hen6 as if hesitating to use or!s6 'rishna:i sai!6 ,s it an eBternal thing
happening inar!ly5 #he uni8erse pouring inHan! the bo!y cannot stan! too
(uch to it% As , a( talking6 it is 8ery strong% 7i8e (inutes ago6 it asn>t there%
=hen young they tol! (e6 OBe co(pletely like an open channelH!on>t resist%>
-nly later !i! , on!er ho Othey> ere%$
/as it any relationship to the or! 3aitreya Bo!hisatt8a5$ Achyut aske!%
,s 3aitreya Bo!hisatt8a fictitious5 1i! C% =% 4% in8ent it5 1i! the boy li8e
ith that na(e unconsciously5 -r is it so(ething totally !ifferent fro( their
in!octrination5$ 'rishna:i appeare! totally absorbe! in the Cuery%
1oes the or! 3aitreya (ean anything to you5$ , aske!%
@o6$ 'rishna:i ansere!%
, persiste!% =hy !o you say6 O@o%>5 &ou6 ho say there is no psychological
(e(ory6 hy !o the or!s O3aitreya Bu!!ha> ha8e an effect on you5$
&ou re(e(ber Abanen!ranath #agore>s OBu!!ha>H#hat picture ha! an
eBtraor!inary effect on the boy% /e !i! not kno hat Bu!!his( as%$ 'rishna:i
pause!% But6 the feeling of the Bu!!ha has alays been there% A feeling of
enor(ity%$
A feeling of enor(ity5 Can e go ith that5 ,s that feeling outsi!e you5 -r
is it ithin5 ,s the bo!y not able to take it5$
1on>t think , a( craDy% , ha8e ne8er felt as , feel no% #hat the uni8erse is
so close6 as though (y hea! as stuck in the uni8erse% 1oes it soun! craDy5$
'rishna:i aske! shyly%
Are you saying that all barriers ha8e cease!5$
&ou see6 the or!s OBu!!ha6> O3aitreya6> ha8e lost (eaning% , ha8e a
feeling that all 8erbal sensation has en!e!%$
&ou sai! so(ething about being 8ery close to the uni8erse5$
'rishna:i laughe!% &es6 (y hea! is in it%$
#hat co(es through in the talks% #he center of your teaching has (o8e! to a
cos(ic position6$ , sai!%
#hen he use! strange or!s% -r it (ay be nothing at all% ,t (ay be a tentacle
that is feeling aroun!% , a( not getting to the clarity of it% @o6 this roo( is fille!
ith it% =hate8er it is6 it is throbbing ith it% #he (ore , atch6 it is thereHthe
intensity of it% , coul! sit here ith you to an! go off% Be ith that enor(ous
thing an! let it operate% ,t is a (ysteryG the (o(ent (ystery is un!erstoo!6 it is
no longer (ystery% -ne cannot un!erstan! the (ysteriousHit is too infinite% ,t is
like looking aroun! the corner% 1o you see5
, ha8e a curious feeling that , ant to penetrate that (ystery% 1o you follo5
An! yet there is a certain hesitancy to go near it% &ou cannot touch it% ,t is there%
,t is (ysterious% -n the platfor( it is so(ething !ifferent% -r probably6 it is the
sa(e thing%$
CHAPTER 42
#he 4i(its of #hought
,n the thir! eek of January 198. 'rishna:i as in Bo(bay6 staying at Sterling
Apart(ents% After the Sun!ay talk on January .+6 'rishna:i6 @an!ini6 an! , ere
at !inner% =e ere !iscussing cancer6 an! , re(arke! that if it as not in its early
stage6 , oul! not per(it (y bo!y to be !estroye! by the ne therapies6 hich
ere (ore !estructi8e than the !isease% , oul! prepare (yself for !eath% ' sai!
a society ha! been starte! in the =est here people clai(e! the right to !ie% A
(anual ha! been brought out hich ga8e !etails of the easiest ay to !ie% ,t
prescribe! the taking of sleeping pills6 a large !ose6 then the slipping of a plastic
bag o8er the hea!6 ith a rubber ban! roun! the neckG the person coul! lift the
ban! an! let in air6 if he felt suffocate!% As he fell asleep the han! oul! fall an!
neBt (orning the person oul! be !ea!% @an!ini hear! this an! a look of great
fear ca(e o8er her face% @o6 no6$ she sai! unconsciously% =e looke! at her an!
, aske! her a little sharply hy she as reacting5 /a! she e8er thought of
co((itting suici!e5 She hesitate!6 pulle! herself together6 pause!6 an! sai!6
-nce% As ' spoke , felt the suffocation%$
=e !iscusse! fear an! its nature% , aske! 'rishna:i hether he ha! e8er
knon fear% /e pause!6 pon!ere!% 3any things can happen at nightG !arkness
in8ites (any things%$ ,n his life he ha! not knon fear6 but e8il eBiste!% A8il ha!
a presence an! as alays aiting to fin! a chink through hich to enter%
' sai!6 7ear attracts e8il% #o talk about e8il is to in8ite it%$ Su!!enly6
'rishna:i beca(e strange an! far re(o8e!% /e !re his ar(s close to hi(self6
!raing his bo!y into the s(allest possible space% #hen he sai!6 1o you feel it
in the roo(5$ /is face ha! change!% #he roo( as charge! ith poer% #hen '
sai!6 Before e sleep6 , ill ha8e to !ispel it% Protect this place%$ /e oul! not
say hat he oul! !o6 but so(ething ha! to be !one% A little later he got up an!
alke! roun!6 circu(a(bulating each of the roo(s% 1e8i an! ;hanshya(6
@an!ini>s chil!ren6 ha! co(e into the house% #hey sense! so(ething6 an! !i! not
enter the roo( here e sat% A little later6 'rishna:i ca(e back to the !ining
roo(% /e as serene6 his face beautiful6 his eyes li(pi!% #he at(osphere ha!
totally change!% =hate8er as there ha! been totally ipe! aay%
-8er the years @an!ini an! , ha! often talke! of 'rishna:i>s attitu!e to goo!
an! e8il% /e ha! tol! us6 A8il is a fact% 4ea8e it alone% &our (in! shoul! not
play ith e8il% #hinking about it is to in8ite it% /atre!6 :ealousy6 attract e8il% #hat
is hy it is i(portant for the (in! an! bo!y to be still an! silent an! not let any
strong e(otions arise6 ithout atching relentlessly% 1eterioration alks one
step behin! you% @o (atter ho you are%$ #hrough the years , ha! notice! that
hen strong e(otions ere at play a(ongst people aroun! hi(6 or hen any
Cuestion arose concerning e8il6 his 8oice change!6 his eyes ith!re6 he oul!
!ra his bo!y close together6 the at(osphere gre turgi!6 to totally !issipate a
fe (o(ents later%
7or hi(6 as there as a reser8oir of the goo!6 there as also lurking !arkness%
#he to ere not relate!% A8il looke! for a foothol! to enterG therefore the nee!
for atchfulness% /a8e you e8er obser8e! a cat atching a hole into hich a
(ouse has hi!!en5 =atch any strong feeling like that6 ithout the eyes (o8ing
aay6$ he as to say%
,n the su((er of 198. , as in 4on!on in connection ith the 7esti8al of
,n!ia6 ith hich , ha! been closely associate!% 7ro( 4on!on , ha! gone to
Brockoo! Park an! ha! spent a eek ith 'rishna:i% 1uring one of his
con8ersations ith (e6 e !iscusse! insight an! the (in!% =e talke! of the
,n!ian (in!6 the place of (yth% , sai!6 #he (o!ern (in! has no !ensity or
eight%$ /e replie!6 =hat is necessary is to ha8e an ancient (in!6 not a (in!
that is superficially Aast or =est% ,nsights gi8e strength to the (in!% 3ost people
feel they ha8e strong (in!s% But ith a strong (in!6 you cannot probe% Strange
things are happening% , ake up at night ith i((ense action ithin the hea!% ,
feel e8ery cell in (y bo!y6 li8ing6 !ancing6 throbbing%$
, aske! 'rishna:i hether he oul! accept the fact that there as an ,n!ian
(in!% #he ,n!ian (in! (ight ha8e ithin it the sa(e ten!encies as the =estern
(in!Hthe sa(e gree!6 :ealousy6 angerHbut the groun! fro( hich these to
sprang as !ifferent% , ent on to say that6 being !ifferently con!itione!6 these
to (in!s co(ple(ente! each other%
4ater6 'rishna:i sai! that hen he as in ,n!ia he ha! itnesse! a groing
(aterialis(% /e then aske! (e6 =hat is the concern of the ,n!ian (in! to!ay5$
, replie! that it as !ifficult to say% #here ha! been 8ast changes in recent years%
#here as groing 8iolence6 an increase of (aterialis(6 an! a (o8e(ent
toar!s consu(eris(% #he technological culture ha! penetrate! to so(e !epth
into the ,n!ian (in! an! en8iron(ent%
'rishna:i then aske! hat as the basic !ifference beteen the to (in!s%
7or centuries6 the ,n!ian (in! ha! a certain e!ge that enable! it to !el8eG but it
lacke! precision6 the capacity to take an abstraction an! transfor( it into concrete
solution% #he =estern (in! ha! precisionG roote! in logic an! reason6 it ha!
turne! to the outer6 to the transfor(ation of the en8iron(ent% 'rishna:i sai!
technology ha! possibly brought the ,n!ian (in! to the earth% /e Cuestione!6
hoe8er6 hether thought as e8er of the Aast or =est% #here is only thought6
eBpressions (ay !iffer% /as the ,n!ian (in! a ten!ency for inar! search5$
&es6$ , sai!6 :ust as the =estern (in! has a procli8ity to (o8e an! function
in the outer en8iron(ent% #he inner en8iron(ent has been the concern of ,n!ia%$
Concern of a 8ery fe people6$ co((ente! 'rishna:i%
But it is only the fe that create culture% /o !oes culture co(e into
being5$ , aske!%
=e then !iscusse! hat ha! !i8i!e! the to (in!s6 hat le! the ,n!ian an!
the =estern (in! to (o8e in !ifferent !irections% 'rishna:i spoke of cli(ate6
political !irections6 concern ith orl!ly affairs6 hich le! in the =est to the
in8enti8e (in!% ,n ,n!ia6 ith its ancient ci8iliDation6 the highest concern ha!
been ith a religious life an! inner enCuiry%
So(ehere along the line6 people of one racial stock see(ingly !i8i!e!6$ ,
sai!% #he =est turne! to outer !isco8ery6 in their !ialogue ith nature% -ut of
this e(erge! 8ery significant truths concerning science an! technology% ,n!ia
also ha! a !ialogue ith nature6 but it as of a !ifferent or!er%$
Are you saying6$ aske! '6 that the ,n!ian (in! is (ore concerne! ith
religious (atters than the =est5 ,n ,n!ia the concern ith religion has been !eep%
,n!ian tra!ition has (aintaine! that the un!erstan!ing of the Self6 of the
"ni8erse6 of the /ighest Principle6 is the (ost significant pursuit%$
#here is a siftness ith hich the ,n!ian (in! starts an inner enCuiry% #he
great insights are !ifferent in the =est an! ,n!ia6$ , sai!%
,n the Aast6 in religious (atters6 !oubt6 skepticis(6 Cuestioning for( the
base of religious enCuiry% ,n the =est6 faith is all i(portant6$ ' co((ente!%
Both cultures to!ay are in crisis6$ , sai!%
&es% /u(an consciousness6 hu(an culture is in crisis%$
=oul! you !istinguish consciousness fro( culture5$ , aske!%
@o6 they are the sa(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#he crisis is at the 8ery root of the hu(an (in!% /u(an beings feeling an
ina!eCuacy6 turn to other cultures%$
, a( Cuestioning hether in their search aay fro( the (aterialistic outlook6
they are not being caught in superstition6 by ro(antic i!eas6 gurus5 ,f hu(an
consciousness is in crisis6 as it is6 the Cuestion is can the crisis be resol8e!6 or is it
ine8itable that hu(an beings can ne8er go beyon! their li(itations5$
#he outer an! the inner6 the (aterial an! the search ithin6 are to (irror
i(ages6$ , sai!% ,f (an has to sur8i8e6 can these to be brought together5 -r
can a hu(an culture co(e into eBistence hich coul! sustain an! contain the
to5$
=hat !o you (ean by the or! culture5$ ' aske!%
A8erything the brain contains6$ , respon!e!%
#he training of the brain an! the refine(ent of the brainG the training of the
brain in action6 in beha8ior6 in relationships6 an! also a process of enCuiry that
lea!s to so(ething untouche! by thought% , oul! say that is culture6$
co((ente! '%
=oul! you inclu!e enCuiry in the fiel! of culture5 ,sn>t culture a close!
circuit5$
&ou can (ake it that6 or you can go beyon!6$ sai! '%
As it eBists6 culture is a close! circuit6$ , sai!%
=hat is culture5$ ' aske! again%
Perceptions6 the ay e look at things6 thoughts6 feelings6 attitu!esG the
operation of the senses% &ou can keep on a!!ing to this6$ , sai!%
,nclu!e in it religion6 faith6 belief%$
#he content can keep on groing6 but ithin a contour% =hen you talk of
search6 oul! you inclu!e it in culture5$ , aske!%
-f course6$ sai! 'rishna:i% , a( enCuiring ith hesitation an! skepticis(
hether the brain e8ol8e! through thousan!s of years6 ha8ing eBperience! untol!
sorro6 !espairG atte(pting to escape fro( its on fears through e8ery for( of
religious en!ea8orG hether that brain in itself can e8er change5 Can it bring
about a (utation in itself5 -therise anything ne6 a !ifferent culture6 can ne8er
be%$
,f it !oes not bring about a (utation in itself6 is there anything else5$ ,
aske!%
#he /in!us ha8e aske! this Cuestion centuries ago6 hether there is an
outsi!e agency6 the /ighest Principle hich can operate on the con!itione!
brain5$ 'rishna:i sai!%
-r is it that it can aaken so(ething ithin the brain5$ , Cuerie!%
#here are to possibilities2 Aither there is an outsi!e agency6 as energy6
operatingG or6 fro( ithin the brain cells6 there is an aakening that transfor(s%$
'rishna:i continue! his enCuiry into hether there is an outsi!e agency that
oul! bring about a (utation in the brain cells that ere con!itione!%
, as listening !eeply6 atching ithin an! respon!ing fro( the listening%
#he fact is that the energy in nature6 the flo rarely touches the brain cells%
#here are so (any obstacles one has builtG that the flo of energy fro( nature6
ne8er see(s to touch an! create%$
'rishna:i su!!enly aske!6 =hat are e !iscussing5$
#he possibility of a hu(an culture that is neither of ,n!ia nor of the =estG
hich contains all (ankin! an! its insights% #he !i8ision beteen the ithin an!
ithout en!s% ,nsight is insight6 not insight into outer or inner% ,f the instru(ent is
the brain6 so(ething has to happen in the brain6$ , sai!%
'rishna:i>s response as to ask hether it coul! happen ithout the i!ea that
there as an outsi!e agency that oul! bring about (utation in a con!itione!
brain% -r coul! the con!itione! brain aaken to its on con!itioning6 percei8e
its on li(itations an! stay there5 All the ti(e e are trying to !o so(ething%
An! , ask6 is the !oer !ifferent fro( that hich is !one5 , see that (y brain is
con!itione! an! that all (y acti8ities6 (y relationships6 are li(ite!% , see that
li(itation (ust be broken !on% But the O,> is operating on the li(itation% An!
the O,> is li(ite!% ,t is not separate fro( the li(itation hich it is trying to break
!on% #he li(itation of the self an! the li(itation of the con!itioning are not
separate% #he O,> is not separate fro( its Cualities%$
7ro( hat it obser8es5$
-ne part obser8es the other part6$ as 'rishna:i>s response%
&ou say that6 but e are all the ti(e trying to operate on the other6$ , sai!%
All life is that% Apart fro( the orl! of technology6 the brain is con!itione!
in this tra!ition that the actor is !ifferent fro( the action% So con!itioning goes
on% But hen one realiDes that the actor is the action6 then the hole outlook
changes% =e are asking Pupul:i hat brings about a change in the hu(an brain%$
#hat is crucial2 =hat is it that (akes the !i8ision en!5$
3an has been the sa(e for a (illion yearsHan!6 psychologically6 e are
pri(iti8e as e ere% =e ha8e not basically change! 8ery (uch% =e still kill
each otherG e seek poer6 position% =e are corrupt% /u(an beings are the sa(e
to!ay psychologically as they ere% =hat ill (ake hu(anity change all that5$
,nsight5$ , aske!%
,s so*calle! culture pre8enting insight5$ aske! 'rishna:i% /e sai! that a fe
people ha! gone into this Cuestion of insight in ,n!ia6 hile the rest :ust repeate!%
#ra!ition is a !ea! thing6 an! ,n!ia li8es ith this !ea! thing% /ere too6 tra!ition
has tre(en!ous poer%$
,n the =est there are the fe ho ha8e great insights into science6$ , sai!%
&es% But hat ill (ake hu(an beings bring about a (utation in
the(sel8es5 Culture is trying to bring about certain changes in hu(an beha8ior%
?eligions ha8e sai! !on>t kill6 an! (an kills% #here are the e!icts6 the sanctions6
an! e are !oing Cuite the opposite6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Cultures ha8e collapse!%$
#hat is hat , ant to fin! out% =hether cultures ha8e collapse! an! so (an
can>t turn to the( any (ore% So (an is no at a loss% =hat ill bring about a
(utation in the brain cells5$ 'rishna:i>s passionate concern as e8i!ent%
=e ere saying that the ,n!ian (atriB (ay be !ifferent to the =estern
(atriB% But the proble( is i!entical% /o !o e bring about a (utation in the
hu(an (atriB6 the hu(an brain5$ , aske!%
After all6 ,n!ians suffer there as the Auropean suffersG the !espair6 (isery is
the sa(e% So let us forget the Aast or =est an! see hat pre8ents this (utation
taking place%$
,s there any other ay but percei8ing the actual5$
#hat is hat e ha8e been saying for years% #he actual is (ore i(portant
than the i!ea% #he i!eal concepts ha8e no 8alue at all because they (o8e aay
fro( Ohat is%> Apparently6 it is tre(en!ously !ifficult not to ha8e i!eals6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
,n percei8ing the actual6 is there no (o8e(ent of the brain5$ , aske!%
#hat>s all ,>( saying% ,f one obser8es 8ery carefully6 facts in the(sel8es
bring about a change% /u(an sorro is not =estern or Aastern% =e are alays
trying to (o8e aay fro( sorro% Can e un!erstan! the !epth an! (eaning of
sorro5 @ot intellectually un!erstan!6 but actually !el8e into the nature of
sorro5 Sorro is not yours or (ine6 so hat is blocking the hu(an brain fro(
enCuiring !eeply ithin5$
&ou use the or! !el8ing6 enCuiring into oneself% Both are or!s connecte!
ith (o8e(entHyet you speak of the en!ing of (o8e(ent% -f course%%% of
course%%% (o8e(ent is ti(e%%% (o8e(ent is thought% #here has to be the en!ing of
(o8e(ent% Can that really en! or e think it can en!5 =e !i8i!e the entity that
enCuires an! the entity that is to be enCuire! into% #hat is (y ob:ectionHthat is
the (a:or block%$
=hen you see the or! OenCuiry6> !o you use it as perception5$ , aske!%
PerceptionHatching6$ as 'rishna:i>s response% =hat ill (ake hu(an
beings change in the ay they beha8e5 Fery si(ply put6 hat ill change all this
appalling brutality5 =ho ill change it5 @ot the politician6 not the priestHnot
the people ho talk of en8iron(ent6 ecologists an! so on% #hey cannot change
the hu(an being% =ho ill change hi( if (an hi(self ill not !o so5 #he
church has not succee!e! in changing (an% ?eligions ha8e trie! to transfor( the
orl!6 hu(aniDe (an6 (ake hi( (ore intelligent6 (ore affectionate% #hey ha8e
not succee!e!%$
=e see all this6 'rishna:i6 but that itself !oes not bring (an to perception of
fact6$ , sai!%
=hat ill (ake hi( ha8e this perception5 &ou (ay ha8e itHbut if , !on>t
ha8e it6 hat effect has your perception on (e5 , a( asking a !eeper Cuestion%
=hy are hu(an beings6 after (illennia6 like this5 =hy is there one group against
another group6 one tribe against another tribe6 one nation against another nation5
A ne culture6 ill that bring about a change5 1oes (an ant to change5 -r
!oes he think it>s all right6 (an ill e8ol8e at a certain stage% 3eanhile6 e are
!estroying each other%$
=hat is the actual (o(ent of facing a fact5 =hat is the actuality of it5$ ,
aske!%
=hat is a fact5 7act is that hich has been !one an! hich is being !one
no% #he acting no an! that hich has happene!6 is the fact%
4et us be clear% =hen e see the fact6 the fact of yester!ay or last eek6 the
inci!ent is o8er6 but , re(e(ber itG the (e(ory is store! in the brain% =hat is
being !one no is also a fact6 colore! by the past6 controlle! by the past% Can ,
see this hole (o8e(ent as a fact5$
=oul! you say that seeing it as a fact is seeing ithout accretion5$ , aske!%
Seeing ithout pre:u!ice%$
=ithout anything surroun!ing the fact%$
#hat>s right6 hich (eans hat5$
@egating all responses that arise%$
@egating the re(e(brances%$
=hich arise out of it6$ , interrupte!%
@o is that possible5$
#hat is possible% Attention itself !issipates the (o8e(ent%$
#hat (eans6 can the brain be so attenti8e that the inci!ent that happene! last
eek is re8eale!5 &ou !o not carry on the re(e(brance% But hat happens is6
(y son is !ea! an! , suffer% An! the (e(ory of that son is so strongly i(printe!
in (y brain that there is a constant arising of suffering hich is re(e(brance%$
-ut of that is the (o8e(ent of pain% Attention en!s not only the pain6 but the
arising%$ , as probing%
;o into it a little bit (ore6$ 'rishna:i sai!% =hat !oes that (ean5 3y son is
!ea!% , re(e(ber hi( an! there is the thought of hi( stan!ing near the piano or
the (antlepiece% #here is this constant re(e(brance floing in an! floing out%$
#he negating of the pain an! the !issol8ing of this6 !oesn>t it ha8e !irect
action on the brain5$ , aske!%
=hich (eans hat5 3y son is !ea!% #hat>s a fact% , can>t change the fact%
/e>s gone% ,t soun!s cruel to say it6 but he>s gone% But ,>( carrying hi( all the
ti(e% ?ight5 #he brain is hol!ing it as (e(ory an! carrying it all the ti(e% , li8e
on (e(ories6 hich are !ea! things% 3e(ory is not the actual% #here has to be
an en!ing% 3y son is gone% ,t !oesn>t (ean , ha8e lost (y lo8e for hi(%$
But hat re(ains5$
3ay , say so(ething ithout being shocking5$ aske! 'rishna:i% @othing%
3y son is goneHhich is not an assertion of cruelty or !enying (y lo8e% =hat
has en!e! is not the lo8e of (y son6 but the i!entification of lo8e ith (y son%$
&ou are !raing a !istinction beteen lo8e of (y son an! lo8e%$
,f , lo8e! (y son in the !eepest sense of the or!6 , lo8e hu(anity% ,f ,
lo8e! (y son6 , lo8e the hole orl!% , lo8e the earth6 the trees6 the hole
uni8erse% =hat takes place hen there is a pure perception of fact6 ithout any
bias6 ithout any escape5 Can one see the fact co(pletely5 ,s that possible5
=hen , a( in sorro6 , a( lost% ,t>s a great shock6 an! at the (o(ent of !eath
you can>t say anything to the person ho is in sorro% But as he co(es out of his
confusion6 loneliness6 !espair6 sorro6 then perhaps he ill be sensiti8e enough
to see this fact%$
, aske! hether the perception of the fact nee!e! a great atching% &ou
can>t tell a person ho has ne8er atche! to en! sorro%$
#hat oul! be cruel% But a (an ho has obser8e!6 has enCuire! into !eath6
an! sees that it is co((on to all hu(anity6 to the (an ho is sensiti8eHhe
ants to fin! an anser%$
, began6 Sir6 at that le8el ho si(ple it isH$
=e (ust keep it si(ple6 not bring into it intellectual theories an! i!eas%$
,s the (in! afrai! of the si(ple5$ , aske!%
=e are so highly intellectual% #o (ake things co(pleB is part of our
e!ucation6 part of our culture% ,!eas are tre(en!ously i(portant% #o us they are
essentialH$
#o you the highest point of culture is the !issolution of the self% =hen you
speak of the !issolution of the fact6 it is essentially the !issolution of the self%$
&es% But the !issolution of the self has beco(e a concept6 an! e orship
the concept% #hey !o this all o8er the orl!% Concepts are put together by
thought% =hat ill (ake hu(an beings throughout the orl! beha8e6 not (y
ay6 not your ay6 but so that they !o not kill6 they ha8e affection% @othing has
succee!e!% 'nole!ge has not helpe! (an%$
4i8ing the ay (an !oes6 fear is his sha!o%$
An! (an ants to kno hat the future is6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
As part of fear5$ , aske!%
Because he seeks security in so (any things an! they all fail6 an! he feels
there (ust be security so(ehere5$ /e pause!% , Cuestion hether there is
securityHanyhere5$
=hat is the action of the !issolution of the fact6 on the brain cells5$ , aske!%
, oul! use the or! insight% ,nsight is not a (atter of (e(ory6 knole!ge6
or ti(e6 hich are all parts of thought% , oul! say insight is the total absence of
the hole (o8e(ent of thought6 ti(e6 an! re(e(brance% So that there is !irect
perception% Can , see that , ha8e been going north for the last ten thousan! years5
#hat (y brain is accusto(e! to going north5 #hen so(eone co(es along an!
says6 O#hat ill lea! you nohere% #urn east%> =hen , turn east6 the brain cells
change% ,f , see the hole (o8e(ent of thought as li(ite! an! , see thought ill
not sol8e any of (y proble(s6 then , stop going north% ,n the en!ing of the self is
the en!ing of a (o8e(ent that has been going on for thousan!s of years% #hat is
insight% #hat brings about a change or a (utation in the brain% , think one sees
this 8ery clearly% But ill that perception (ake hu(anity change5 =hat ill
(ake (y son6 (y !aughter change5 #hey rea! this6 an! they continue their ol!
ay% ,s the past tra!ition so strong5 , ha8e thought of (yself for the last thousan!
years6 an! , a( still thinking of (yself% , feel , (ust fulfill (yself% #his is (y
con!ition% #his is (y tra!ition% ,s the past so tre(en!ously strong5 An! the past
is incarnating all the ti(e% ,s that part of cultureHto continue in our con!ition5$
, oul! say that is part of culture6$ , sai!%
4ook at it% , ha8e been atching this 8ery seriously% /o strong tra!ition is%
, a( speaking of tra!ition as a continuity of the past6 carrying on in its on
(o(entu(% An! e are that% -ur culture6 our religious concepts are our
tra!ition% So hat is the brain to !o5$
, ha8e a feeling6 Sir6 that e talk of obser8ing thought6 but that is an entirely
!ifferent thing to the actual state of attention%$
#hat is thought being aare of itself% #he central issue is that the orl! has
beco(e (ore an! (ore superficial6 (ore an! (ore (oney*(in!e!6 i!entifie!
ith the (e*(e*(e%$
,t is so easy to turn hat you say into a concept% But can there be a culture
hich is li8ing6 because it is li8ing ith insight5$
, oul!n>t use the or! Oculture%> $
&ou starte! ith the or! Oculture> as so(ething that contains (ore than
:ust a hu(an cultureHhich perhaps is the culture of the (in!% ,n such a state
hat happens to all the ci8iliDations the orl! has seen an! knon an!
contains5$
=hich (eans6 Pupul:i6 O=hat is free!o(5> Are e aare that e are
prisoners of our on fantasies5$
, think e are%$
,f e are aareHthey are burnt out%$
&ou !on>t a!(it an in*beteen state% #hat is the hole proble(%$
#he (an ho is 8iolent an! tries to be less 8iolent in an in*beteen state6 is
8iolent%$
@ot necessarily% ,s there not also in hat you say the hole (o8e(ent of
ti(e an! thought5$
=hich is hat5 #hought is li(ite!% , kno thought enCuiring into itself is
li(ite!%$
#he !ifference is6 Sir6 , (ight see thisHbut the attention necessary for it to
re(ain ali8e in (y aking !ay (ay not be there% #he capacity6 the strength of
that attention (ay not be there%$
#hat passion6 that sustaine! (o8e(ent of energy is not !issipate! by
thought6 by any kin! of acti8ity6 an! that co(es into being hen you un!erstan!
sorro% ,n the en!ing of sorro there is co(passion% #hat intelligence6 that
energy6 has no !epression%$
&ou (ean it neither rises nor falls%$
@o6 to rise or fall you (ust be aare that it is rising6 falling6 an! ho is it
ho is aareH$
But is it possible throughout the !ay to hol! that5$ , aske!%
Just be aare6 not hol! it% ,t is like a perfu(eHit is there% &ou !on>t hol! it%
#hat is hy , think one has to un!erstan! the hole con!itioning of our
consciousness% , think that is the real enCuiry% #he real eBploration is into
consciousness6 hich is the co((on groun! of all hu(anity% An! e ne8er
enCuire into it% =e ne8er say6 O, a( going to stu!y this consciousness that is
(e%$ >
An! to be free of the self is one of the (ost !ifficult things6 because the O(e>
hi!es un!er !ifferent rocks6 in !ifferent cre8ices%$
CHAPTER 43
/o 7ar Can -ne #ra8el5$
#he neBt (orning 'rishna:i alke! in hile , as !rinking (y early (orning
cup of tea% =e starte! talking% =e ere to ha8e a !ialogue later in the !ay an!
'rishna:i sai!6 Pupul6 coul! e !iscuss to the li(its of thought an! tra8el
beyon!5$
/e as in an eBalte! (oo!% , ha! a ba! cough an! !i! not feel particularly
bright that (orning% , !i! not think of the topic e ere to !iscuss6 nor !i! , try
to aaken the brain in any ay%
4ater6 as 'rishna:i an! , sat !on facing each other6 , still !i! not kno hat
, as going to say% #hen , starte! speaking6 an! the or!s floe! as if they ha!
been progra((e!% , as fluent6 luci!G there as !epth of probing an! an
eBtensi8e seeing% , sai! that recently , ha! rea! of a rocket that oul! tra8el to
the outer reaches of the uni8erse an! there oul! be no en! to its :ourney% #here
oul! be no friction6 no ti(e6 an! so no en!ing% , aske!6 ,s there in the ays of
the self6 in the hu(an (in!6 in the hu(an brain6 a ithin of things5 Are there
8ast6 i((easurable spaces that lie in the ithin of nature5$
Are you asking hether ithin the hu(an brainH, oul! like to use O(in!>
as separate fro( Obrain>Hhether there is or there can be a space ithout en!6 an
eternity out of ti(e5 =e coul! speculate about it6 but speculation is not
actuality%$
But it as an insight into the possibility of eBploring outer space that
enable! (an to eBplore outer space% ,f e !o not posit a thing6 e cannot eBplore
an! pro8e that it is so6$ , sai!%
Are e speculating6 or are e really enCuiring hether there is such
i((ensity6 hether there is a (o8e(ent that is not of ti(e6 a (o8e(ent that is
eternal5$
7or this enCuiry e (ust pose the Cuestion% =hat co(es out of it ill
!eter(ine hether the Cuestion is speculation or enCuiry%$
=e ha8e pose! the Cuestion hether the brain can realiDe the truth6 that there
is eternity or no eternity% /o !o e begin to enCuire5 /o !o you feel into this
Cuestion !iligently6 a Cuestion that has been aske! by (an for thousan!s of
years5 ,s (an boun! to ti(e fore8er5 -r is thereHor can there beHactually
ithin the brain a realiDation6 for itself6 that there is a state of eternity5$
/o !o you procee! into this5 &ou starte! by !raing a !istinction beteen
the brain an! (in!% =oul! you elaborate5$
#he brain is con!itione!% #hat con!itioning is brought about by knole!ge6
(e(ory6 eBperience% #he brain is li(ite!% So to !isco8er so(ething ne there
has to be a perio!6 e8en te(porarily6 hen thought is not in (o8e(ent6 hen it is
in abeyance%$
#he brain is a (aterial thing6 it has its on acti8ity%$
&es6 an acti8ity that is not i(pose! by thought6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
7or us6 the operation of the brain has been the operation of thought6$ , sai!%
&es6 the (o8e(ent of the brain6 the part of the brain being use!6 is
con!itione! by thought% #hought is alays li(ite!6 con!itione! to conflict% #hat
hich is li(ite! (ust create conflict% 3in! is a totally !ifferent !i(ension that
has no contact ith thought% 4et (e eBplain% #he brain hich has been
functioning as an instru(ent of thought6 that brain has been con!itione!G an! so
long as that part of the brain re(ains in that state6 there is no entire
co((unication ith the (in!% So hen there is no functioning of thought6 there
is co((unication6 hich is a totally !ifferent !i(ensionG that can co((unicate
ith the brain using thought%$
&ou are postulating a state outsi!e the real( of thought5$ , aske!%
#hat>s it% #hat is outsi!e the real( of ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
As ti(e an! thought see( to be the essential core of this proble(6 perhaps if
e coul! go into the flo of ti(e6 e coul! !isco8er at hat instant interception
is possible%$
=hat !o you (ean by Ointerception>5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
, a( not talking of the interceptor6 but of a !irect contact hich is the en!ing
of ti(e% ,sn>t ti(e fro( a past i((e(orial6 pro:ecting into a future hich is
ithout en!5$
@o6 the future is con!itione! by the past%$
So6 unless the hu(an being en!s6 ceases to beH$
Ceases to be con!itione!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
But you ill still use thought% ,ts content ill un!ergo change6 but the
(echanis( of thought ill continue6$ , sai!%
@o6 thought is the chief instru(ent e ha8e% After thousan!s of years of
friction6 ars6 that instru(ent has been (a!e !ull% ,t cannot go beyon! its on
tether% #hought is li(ite!6 it is con!itione! an! in a perpetual state of conflict%$
, ha! use! the or! Ointerception> to signify contact ith the (o8e(ent
fro( the past6 as the yester!ay%$
As the to!ay6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is the to!ay5 /o !o e contact the to!ay5$
#o!ay is the (o8e(ent of the past (o!ifie!% =e are a bun!le of (e(ories6
hich is hat5 #he past6 present6 future is a (o8e(ent of ti(eHthought% /o
!o you realiDe it5$
,s there not such a thing as a tactile touch ith it5$
/o !o you touch this thing5 /o !oes one ha8e contact ith the fact that ,
a( a hole series of (e(ories6 hich is ti(eHthought5$
4et us be concrete% #he thought that , go aay this afternoon an! , ill be
lea8ing you is a fact%$
,t is an actuality%$
-ut of that is born a certain nostalgia of lea8ing you6 hich is e(otional6
psychological6 hich co8ers up the fact% =hat has to be contacte!6 surely6 is not
the fact that , a( going aay6 but the pain of (y going%$
#he pain of going6 of a thousan! centuries of pain6 anBiety6 aches% ,s that
separate fro( you ho feel it5$ 'rishna:i spoke%
,t (ay not be separate% /o !o , touch it5$ , aske!%
=hat !o you (ean5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
,t is only in the present that , can contact the hole of this e!ifice6$ , sai!%
#he no contains the past6 future6 an! present%$
#he present is the past an! the future% #he present is (o8ing% #he present is
a thousan! years of the past being (o!ifie!6 an! the future is Ono6> the present%$
#he present is also not static% #he (o(ent you try to see it6 it is gone% So
hat is it that you actually obser8e5$ , aske!%
#he fact that the present is the hole (o8e(ent of ti(e an! thought% Can
one see the truth of that5 Can one ha8e insight6 perception into the fact6 that the
no is all ti(e an! thought5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
1oes that perception e(anate fro( the brain5$
Aither it e(anates fro( percei8ing6 or the perception is an insight that has
nothing to !o ith ti(e an! thought6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
1oes it arise ithin the brain5$ , aske!%
&es6 or !oes it arise outsi!e the brain5$ sai! 'rishna:i% ,s it ithin the
sphere of the brain6 or is there insight that co(es hen there is free!o( fro(
con!itioning5 #his insight6 this (in!6 is supre(e intelligence6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
, !on>t follo%$
#he brain is con!itione! by ti(e an! thought% So long as con!itioning eBists6
insight is not possible% &ou (ay ha8e an occasional insight6 but this insight e
speak about is the co(prehension of totality6 a perception of co(pleteness%
?ight5 #his insight is not boun! by ti(eHthought% #hat insight is part of that
brain hich is a !ifferent !i(ension%$
#here as a pause% #he listening ha! been at great !epth%
=ithout sight there cannot be insight6$ , sai!% So seeing6 percei8ing6
listening see( to be essential to insight% #he or! Oinsight> is the seeing into% ,s it
seeing into seeing5$
@o% Seeing6 co(prehen!ing the totality6 the 8astness of so(ething% ,nsight is
possible only ith the cessation of thought an! ti(e% #hought an! ti(e are
li(ite!% #herefore in such li(itation there cannot be insight6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#o un!erstan! hat you say6 , ha8e to ha8e an open ear an! eyes that see%
-ut of soun!6 for(6 arises a seeing that goes beyon!% &ou talk of insight6 but
insight cannot arise ithout sight%$
,nsight cannot arise so long as there is ti(e6 thought%$
=hich co(es first5 , cannot start ith insight% , can only start ith
obser8ation6$ , sai!%
&ou can only start by seeing that psychological ti(e is alays li(ite!6 an!
so hate8er it !oes ill be li(ite!% #i(e an! thought ha8e brought ha8oc in the
orl!% &ou can see that% #he Cuestion is6 Can that li(itation e8er en!5 -r is (an
to li8e fore8er in that con!ition5$
=hat is the relationship of the brain cells to the senses5 =hat takes place
hen you hear a state(ent like this2 that ti(e6 thought are li(ite!5 ,t is like
telling (e6 O&ou are an illusion%> Pupul is a psychological bun!le consisting of
the past6 of ti(e an! thought%$
#he self is part of the psyche6 an! hate8er it !oes is li(ite!6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
#hen hat is rong ith that5$ , aske!%
@othing% ,f you ant to li8e in perpetual conflict6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is the nature of this en!ing you speak about5$ , aske!%
=hat is en!ing5$ 'rishna:i turne! back the Cuestion to (e%
#o see that the flo ceases to flo6$ , sai!%
&es6 to see that ti(e an! thought cease psychologically6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#here is a point of perception6 hich is a point of insight% ,n hat ti(e*space
!o , see it5$ , aske!%
4ook6 Pupul6 let us be si(ple% #i(e an! thought ha8e !i8i!e! the orl!%
Can>t you see the fact of that5$
@o6 Sir% , !on>t see the fact% #he (o(ent , see the fact6 , oul! stop ti(e
an! thought% ,f it is such a si(ple thingHbut it is not% ,t has such !e8ious ays6$
, sai!%
Can you ha8e an insight that the (o8e(ent of thought an! ti(e6 at hate8er
le8el6 at hate8er real(6 in hate8er area6 is a real( of en!less conflict5$
'rishna:i aske!%
&ou can see it outsi!e in the orl!6$ , sai!%
,f you see it outar!ly6 then inar!ly can you see that the psyche is ti(e an!
thought% #he !i8isi8e psychological (o8e(ent has create! the outer !i8isi8e fact%
#he feeling that , a( a /in!uG , feel secure in the or!6 in belonging to
so(ething6 this is the factor of !i8ision an! conflict%$
All this can en!% -ne can see it as a (o8e(ent of ti(e6 thought6 but ithin it
all6 there is a sense of O, eBist%> #hat is essentially the proble(% =hy !on>t , see
it5$ , aske!%
Because , ha8e thought of the psyche as other than the con!itione! state6$
sai! 'rishna:i% , ha8e thought that there is so(ething in (e6 in the brain6 hich
is ti(eless6 an! if , coul! reach that e8erything oul! be sol8e!% #hat is part of
(y con!itioning% , feel ;o!6 the /ighest Principle6 ill protect (e%$
=hat is the nature of the groun! fro( hich insight springs5$ , aske!%
,nsight can only take place hen there is free!o( fro( ti(e an! thought6$
sai! 'rishna:i%
#his is an unen!ing process%$
@o6 it is not% #o li8e in peace is to floer6 to un!erstan! the eBtraor!inary
orl! of peace% Peace cannot be brought about by thought6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,s it the brain that listens to hat you say5$
&es% #hen atch hat happens%$
,t is Cuiet% ,t is not rattling6 it is Cuiet%$
=hen it is Cuiet an! listens6 then there is insight% , !on>t ha8e to eBplain in
ten !ifferent ays the li(itations of thought%$
,s there anything further5$ , aske! hesitatingly%
-h6 yes6 there is% A great !eal (ore% ,s listening a soun!6 a soun! ithin an
area6 or a( , listening to hat you are saying ithout this 8erbal soun!5 ,f you
ant to con8ey so(ething (ore than or!s6 then if there is soun! in (y hearing6
, can>t un!erstan! the !epth of hat you are saying% #he present is the Ono%> ,n
that is the hole (o8e(ent of ti(e*thought6 the hole structure of ti(e*thought
en!s% #he Ono> then has a totally !ifferent (eaning% O@o6> then6 is Onothing%>
@othing in the sense that Dero contains all the nu(bers% So Onothing> contains all%
But e are afrai! to be nothing%$
=hen you say nothing contains all6 !oes it (ean the hole racial
en8iron(entalHnatureHcos(os5$ , aske!%
&es6 yes% 1o you see the fact that there is nothing5 #he self is a bun!le of
(e(oriesG (e(ories that are !ea!% #hey function6 but they arise fro( a past that
is o8er% ,f , ha8e insight into that6 it en!s% , see that in the Ono> there is
Onothing%>
&ou sai! so(ething about soun! an! listening% &es6 it is possible to so
listen6 hen the (in! itself is totally still%$
=e on>t speak of the (in!6 but hen the brain is absolutely Cuiet6
therefore there is no soun! (a!e by the or!% #his is real listening% #he or!
only tells you hat , ant to con8ey% , listen to hat you say%$
Brain has no other action than listening5$ , aske!%
=hen the brain is acti8e6 it is noise% ,t is 8ery interesting to enCuire into
soun!% Pure soun! can only eBist hen there is space an! silence% -therise it is
:ust noise% Can e co(e back to our Cuestion5 All e!ucation6 knole!ge6 is a
(o8e(ent in beco(ing6 psychologically as ell as outar!ly% Beco(ing is the
accu(ulation of (e(ory% #his e call knole!ge% So long as that (o8e(ent
eBists6 there is fear of being nothing% But hen one sees the illusion of beco(ing6
an! that beco(ing is en!less ti(e6 thought6 an! conflict6 there is an en!ing of
that% An en!ing of the (o8e(ent of the psyche hich is ti(e*thought% #he
en!ing of that is to be Onothing%>
O@othing> then contains the hole uni8erse% @ot (y petty little fears6
anBieties6 sorros% After all6 Pupul:i6 Onothing> (eans the entire orl! of
co(passion% Co(passion is Onothing6> an! therefore that Onothingness> is
supre(e intelligence%
But e are frightene! of being nothing% 1o , see that , a( nothing but a
alking illusion6 that , a( nothing but !ea! (e(ories5 So can , be free of
(e(ory as ti(e*thought an! see the fact that as long as there is this (o8e(ent of
beco(ing6 there (ust be en!less conflict6 pain5$ /e pause!6 he as speaking
fro( !epth%
Astrophysicists are trying to un!erstan! the uni8erse% #hey can only
un!erstan! in ter(s of the (aterial orl!6 in ter(s of their li(itations% But they
cannot un!erstan! the i((ensity of itG i((ensity as a part of the hu(an beingG
not only there6 but here$Hhe place! his han!s on his chestHhich (eans there
(ust be no sha!o of ti(e an! thought% #hat is real (e!itation% #hat is hat
$unya (eans in Sanskrit%
=e offer a hun!re! co((entaries6 but the actual fact is6 e are Onothing>
eBcept a lot of or!s% Can one grasp that the Dero contains all the nu(bers5 So in
Onothing6> all the orl! eBists%$ 4ike a thun!ering ri8er6 the insights ere
floing%
But in life6 hen , suffer or there is fear6 it is the only thing , kno% But ,
!on>t see that they are all petty little things% /o !o you listen to all this5 =hat is
it you realiDe5 ,f you coul! put it into or!s6 it oul! be goo!% =hat is it you
feel5 #he people ho are going to rea! this6 hat are they going to feel5 ,t (ay
be rubbish6 it (ay be trueG hat !o you capture or realiDe5 1o you see the
i((ensity of all this5$ 'rishna:i pause! for a long ti(e%
=ith great hesitation6 , sai!6 #his i(plies an en!ing of the psychological
nature of the self%$
&es% , ha8e aske! a Cuestion% ,t oul! be 8ery helpful to all of us if6 as you
listen to this6 you coul! say hat is your response% =hat is the perfu(e of all
this5$
, coul! not fin! or!s to speak% 1on>t ask (e that Cuestion% Because
anything , say oul! soun! totay ina!eCuate% Because as you ere speaking6
there as i((ensity6$ , sai!%
&es% , coul! feel the tension of that% ,s it te(porary5 ,s it for a (o(ent6 then
gone5 #hen again the hole tension of re(e(bering itHcapturing it6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
@o% -ne has (o8e! aay fro( that6$ , sai!% Another thing one realiDes%
#he (ost !ifficult thing in the orl! is to be totally si(ple%$
&es% ,f one ere really si(ple6 fro( that one coul! un!erstan! the hole
co(pleBity of life% But e start ith co(pleBity an! ne8er see the si(plicity% =e
ha8e traine! our brain to see the co(pleBity6 an! try to fin! an anser to the
co(pleBity% But e !on>t see the eBtraor!inary si(plicity of facts%$ Again there
as a pause%
,n the ,n!ian tra!ition6 out of soun! ere born all the ele(ents6 the Pan&h
Maha Bhutas6$ , sai!% Soun! that re8erberates an! is yet not hear!%$
#hat is it% But after all6 in the ,n!ian tra!ition the Bu!!ha6 @agar:una6 sai!
(an (ust !eny the hole thing% @agar:una !enie! e8erything6 e8ery (o8e(ent
of the psyche% =hy ha8e they not pursue! that5$ 'rishna:i aske!% @ot by
!enying the orl!6 you can>t !eny the orl!% But they ha8e !enie! the orl!%
But by the total negation of the O(e%> $
?enunciation is the negation of the O(e6> $ , sai!% Basically6 renunciation is
ne8er in the outer%$
?enunciation is in the ithin% 1on>t be attache! e8en to your loincloth% ,
think e are caught in a net of or!s6 e !o not li8e in actualities% , suffer6 an!
the ay to en! that is not to escape into illusion% =hy ha8e hu(an beings not
face! the fact an! change! the fact5 ,s it because e are li8ing ith i!eas6 i!eals
Hunrealities5 =e are li8ing ith the history of (ankin!% 3ankin! is (e6 an! the
O(e> is en!less sorro% An! so if you ant to en! sorro there has to be an
en!ing of the O(e%> $ 'rishna:i as eBploring as he spoke%
,t is really the en!ing of ti(e6 isn>t it5$
&es% An!ing of ti(e*thought6 that is6 to listen ithout soun!% #o listen to the
uni8erse ithout soun!%$ /e pause!% 'rishna:i as far aay% A !octor in @e
&ork sai! the fun!a(ental issue is hether the brain cells6 hich ha8e been
con!itione! for centuries6 coul! bring about a (utation5 , sai! it is possible only
through listening% But no one is illing to listen in its entirety% ,f (an really sai!6
O, (ust li8e peacefully6> then there is peace in the orl!% But he !oesn>t ant to
li8e in peace% /e is a(bitious6 arrogant6 petty% So e ha8e re!uce! the 8astness
of all this to so(e petty reactions% 1o you realiDe that6 Pupul5 =e ha8e such
petty li8esHfro( the highest to loest%$ /e pause!%
=hat is soun! to you6 Sir5$ , aske!% Again there as a long silence6 out of
hich 'rishna:i spoke% Soun! is the tree% #ake ,n!ian chanting6 ;regorian
chanting6 they are eBtraor!inarily close together% &ou listen to the soun! of
a8es6 of strong in!6 the soun! of a person you ha8e li8e! ith for (any years6
you get use! to it all%
But if you !on>t6 then soun! has an eBtraor!inary (eaning% #hen you hear
e8erything afresh% &ou tell (e ti(e an! thought are the hole (o8e(ent of
(an>s life% &ou ha8e co((unicate! a si(ple fact% Can , listen to it ithout the
soun! of the or!s5
#hen , ha8e capture! the !epths of that state(ent6 an! , can>t lose it% , ha8e
listene! to it in its entirety% ,t has con8eye! the fact that it is so an! hat is so6 is
absolute alays% ,n the /ebraic tra!ition it is only Jeho8ah the @a(eless -ne
ho can say O, A(6> that is the Tat Tvam Asi in Sanskrit%$
CHAPTER 44
#he ;oo! 3in!$
=hile in Bo(bay in January 19806 'rishna:i starte! speaking of the goo!
(in!%$ @an!ini an! , ere ha8ing supper ith hi(% #he e8ening before in his
talk6 ' ha! aske!6 /o !o you look at the 8ast (o8e(ent of life5 1o you see
that you are a hu(an being relate! to all hu(an beings5 #he bo!y !oes not
!i8i!e% ,t ne8er says6 O, a(%> ,t is thought that separates%$ /e ha! been speaking
of the chaos in the orl!6 an! aske! hether (an e8er Cuestions the root of all
the chaos% /o !o you approach the proble(5 /o !o you co(e in contact
ith such a proble(5$ /e as !raing us into contact ith his (in!% Can you
co(e close an! be open to the Cuestion5 But if you keep aay fro( the Cuestion6
you are not open6 you are not ali8e to the Cuestion% Can you approach the
Cuestion ith no !irection6 no (oti8e5 3oti8e !istorts perception% #o fin! out
hat is the root of chaos6 the (in! (ust be free%$
' sai! to us6 3ost people oul! consi!er a goo! (in! to be a (in! that has
rea! a great !eal6 that is full of knole!ge about (any things% A (in! like
Al!ous /uBley>s6 ;eral! /ear!>s6 an! othersHthey ha! encyclope!ic (in!s% ,n
,n!ia6 oul! the goo! (in! be the Brah(inic (in!5 , a( using the or!
OBrah(inic> to inclu!e the strea( that has culti8ate! the brain through centuriesG
to !escribe a brain that has beco(e 8ery sharp6 but has not lost the Cuality of
!epth ithin it% &ou can (ake an instru(ent 8ery sharpG it can cut6 but it has also
to be use! for !elicate things% 1o you un!erstan!5 ,s such a (in! a goo! (in!5$
/e pause!% A goo! (in! (ust be relate! to action6 to relationship% ,t (ust be
relate! to !epth% ;reat scientists so(eti(es lea! the (ost sho!!y li8es% #hey are
a(bitious6 gree!y6 they fight each other for position an! acclai(% =oul! you say
they ha8e goo! (in!s5$
, replie!6 A goo! (in! !oes not (ean a goo! life% #he scientist (ay be a
great scientist6 but as a hu(an being he (ay be a !isaster% &ou see6 Sir6 a really
goo! (in! (ust be able to broo! ithin itself% Perhaps out of this broo!ing6 there
is insight%$
&es%$ ' continue!6 =oul! you say a goo! (in! has no center fro( hich it
is acting5$ /e as speaking ith (any pauses6 as alays hen !iscussing
so(ething serious% #he center being the self%$ /e pose! the Cuestion an!
ansere! it hi(self% A goo! (in! has no self% =hen a (in! is in a state of
co(plete attention6 atten!ing6 listening6 then there is no place in it for the self%
#he self (anifests itself afterar!s% #he clue is listening% ,t is one of the great
sustainers of the brain%$ 'rishna:i ha! been listening an! pon!ering6 then spoke%
&ou see6 a goo! (in! (ust ha8e co(passion% ,t (ust ha8e a great sense of
beauty an! be capable of actionG there (ust be a relationship hich is right% ,s it
i(possible to fin! such (in!s5 Aristotle6 SocratesHthey ha! goo! (in!s%$
#hey ha! (in!s that coul! Cuestion6 clea8e into (atter6 energy% #he (in!
has to ha8e a holeness to it%$ , as challenging 'rishna:i%
=oul! you say a goo! (in! is a holistic (in!5$ ' aske!%
=hen you sai! in your talk yester!ay that the bo!y !oes not !i8i!e6 it as a
state(ent that ha! ne8er been (a!e before% &ou ent on to say that ith the
(in!6 the instru(ent that has been traine! in the technological6 in the
un!erstan!ing of great knole!ge6 ith the un!erstan!ing of the techniCue of
!oing thingsHith that technical (in!6 (an turns to sorro% An! so sorro !oes
not en!% 7or there is no relationship beteen the to% /o !i! these insights
arise5 &our (in! thros up insights all the ti(e% /o !o they arise5 1o the
insights arise hen you are sitting on the platfor(6 or !o you think it out
earlier5$
,nsights arise all the ti(e6$ ' pause!% #hey arise all the ti(e hen there is
serious talk%$ #hen again he gre Cuiet% &ou see6 if you !efine it too (uchHthe
goo! (in!Hthen you ipe aay e8erything% So e shoul! not !efine it too
clearly% #hen it li(its it%$
An! yet logic is essentialHthe (in! (ust (o8e step by step% , on!er hat
they ill (ake of your (in! in centuries to co(e6$ , Cuerie!%
Can e say6 a healthy6 goo! (in! has an originality that goes contrary to the
current5$ 'rishna:i ignore! (y Cuery an! continue! to Cuestion% Socrates5 /e
stoo! for so(ething6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
-ne is talking of a (in! fro( hich co(passion flosHotherise hat
!oes it (atter5$ , aske!%
/o !oes such a (in! co(e into being5$ Again ' Cuestione!% ,s it the
result of tre(en!ous e8olution of a group of (in!sHthe enCuiring (in!6 hich
has culti8ate! the brain6 (orality6 austerity6 for centuries5 #hey (ay not all ha8e
been austere6 but insi!e the( there as that inner (o8e(ent going on% =e ha8e
to enCuire hether such a long backgroun! of enCuiry pro!uces the Bu!!ha%$
,s there a !ensity an! insight to the backgroun! (in!Hthe racial (in!5$ ,
aske!%
-f course6$ sai! '% -r there is a reser8oir of the goo! hich has no
relationship to e8il% #hat reser8oir eBists an!6 gi8en the opportunity6 brings the
A8atar6 hate8er that (ay (ean% ?ight5 -r is it the other5 ,s it a group
consciousness6 that for centuries has thought an! thought an! thought about
Othat6> an! that (ight ha8e pro!uce! the Bu!!ha5$ /e pause!% , as thinking
the other !ayHthe Agyptians in +)<< B%C% ha! the calen!ar% ,t !i!n>t happen at
once% #hey (ust ha8e ha! tre(en!ous backgroun!s to ha8e pro!uce! it% 3aybe
the ,n!ians contribute! to it% ,t (ay be the sa(e thingHthese 8ast insights%$
#he con8erging of the(5$ , aske!%
, think the goo! (in! (ust be a%sout"y free% ,t (ay (eet fear6 but there
has to be an energy that ipes it out% Coul! the scientists store such energy5$
, Cuestione! hi(% Science has nothing to !o ith otherness5 Can the scientist
en! his self*centere! concern5 Can he ipe it out5 ,t is self*centere! acti8ity that
is the proble(% ,s it !epen!ent on hat you !o5$ 3y role as to ask the right
Cuestion%
@o% &ou see6 they say the Bu!!ha left his house6 beca(e a sannyasi6 faste!6
ulti(ately got to Bu!!hahoo!% , !on>t accept that% #he fasting6 the austerities6
ha8e nothing to !o ith the other%$ 'rishna:i pon!ere!%
#he Bu!!hists oul! (aintain that the Bu!!ha (ight ha8e gone through all
thatHbut Bu!!hahoo! has nothing to !o ith that% But coul! he ha8e !ance! his
life through an! co(e to that5$ , aske!%
&ou see6 e ha8e (a!e austerity a beco(ing to Othat%> $
But is there no gathering of energy necessary for Othat>5 O#hat> only beco(es
possible hen you start seeing that energy is not !issipate!% #hat is essential6$ ,
sai!%
Be careful% O#hat> (eans a sense of self*aareness% 1on>t say for that you
n""d energy%$ #he subtlety of '>s (in! as being re8eale!%
But there has to be preparation of the groun!%$
-f course%$
&our eyes an! ears ha8e to be open% ,t (ay ha8e nothing to !o ith
(orality% But the energies that are constantly being !issipate! by gossip6
tri8ialities6 self*concerne! acti8ity6 ha8e to cease6$ , sai!%
#hatHyes6$ ' respon!e!% But if you say all self*centere! acti8ities (ust
en!6 then there is a relationship beteen Othat> an! the other% #here is no
relationship%$
,t cannot (ean that you can !issipate energy%$
O#hat (ust en!>H&ou can>t say that%$ ' oul! not (o8e%
#hen hat can you say6 Sir5$ , aske!%
, a( self*centere!6 an! you tell (e6 O#hat (ust en!>H#hat is also a
beco(ing6$ ' as pushing%
?ight% So is your teaching to be 8iee! in a !ifferent ay5 ,s it a teaching of
aakening to life6 in hich self*centere! acti8ity arisesHthe outsi!e orl!
enters6 sorro arises5$
An! you ipe all that out5$ aske! '%
=hate8er co(es is ipe! out6$ , sai!%
@ot ipe! out6$ ' persiste!%
=hate8er Ois6> is obser8e!G there is listening6 seeing%$
O=hat is> has no intention or beco(ing%$ ' as un(o8ing%
But it is a flo in hich e8erything is5$
&es%$
, see that your teaching is not the en!ing of beco(ing6 but the obser8ation of
beco(ing% #here is a !ifference beteen en!ing of beco(ing an! seeing
Ohate8er is%> $
&es6 seeing an! (o8ing out of it%$ 'rishna:i>s (in! as like an open floer%
4ater6 , as to co(prehen! the nature of this see(ing contra!iction% #he
obser8ing of the ri8er fille! ith i(puritiesHithout in any ay !e(an!ing6
hoping to change its natureH!issol8es the i(purities6 lea8ing the ri8er clear an!
unpollute!% #he subtlety of the teaching as absolute%
A !iscussion in Bo(bay later in the eek ent into the challenge of
biogenetics an! its ability to transfor( (an% 'rishna(urti sai!6 ,f it is possible
to (anipulate the genes6 then hat is (an5 /u(an beings ha8e been
progra((e! in (any !irections6 no the genetic engineers ant to progra( (an
in other !irections% But still (an is progra((e!%$ ' as pon!ering6 broo!ing%
,s there such a thing as psychological e8olution5$ he aske!% ;enetic
engineers can concern the(sel8es ith changes in 8alues6 but it is a :ourney fro(
the knon to the knon% Can genetic engineering lea! to an eBtension of the
brain5 Can it enable si(ultaneity to operate6 or is it concerne! ith intro!ucing a
set of 8alues hich (an has !eter(ine!5 ;enetic engineering can only operate
ith hat is ithin the knon%$
Achyut Patar!han inter8ene!% All scientists accept hat they see as the
li(its of their telescope%$
But 'rishna(urti>s Cuestions ere to hi(self% /e aske!6 ,s the self part of
the genetic process or part of the psychological process5$ /e pause! an! let the
Cuestion sink !eep% #he sa(e technological (in! hich e8ol8e! an! !isco8ere!
the nuclear bo(b is no asking the genetic Cuestion an! un!ertaking research
into the genes% But it is the sa(e instru(ent% #he technological re8olution le! to
the ato( bo(b6 e8olution has not change! (an% -nly one part of (an>s brain is
operating% #his i(balance is causing great ha8oc% #he Cuestion no arises6 OCan
(an be helpe! through genetic engineering to change5> $
/e as speaking sloly6 probing into the Cuestion at !epth% So(e Cuestions
ere raise! in the (i!!le of the !iscussion% ' let the( be an! su!!enly
interrupte!6 saying6 Can e !iscar! e8olution5$ #he participants ere silent6
then starte! Cuestioning%
#hat oul! a(ount to a Cuantu( leap% ,n hat !irection5 =is!o( is
nee!e!%$ An!6 ,f it continues to be a leap in e8olution6 (an ho !eter(ines the
genetic !irection6 (ust ha8e alrea!y taken the leap to kno%$ Again 'rishna:i
broke in% ,s it possible to change (an i((e!iately6 an! not through the genetic
process5 ,s it possible to stop e8olution in any !irection5$
,t (ay be possible ith the in!i8i!ual6 but not ith the (ass6$ as the reply%
=hat is the (ass5$ ' aske!%
#he (any%$
=hy are you concerne! ith the (any5 Are you separate fro( the (ass5$ '
countere!% Again there as silence%
,s it possible to stop ti(e6 hich is e8olution5$ ' ha! gathere! the threa!s
an! as (o8ing into the Cuestion% =hich (eans hat5 ;enetic engineering
nee!s ti(e% ,t is part of e8olution% #he crisis is here no% ,s it physical or
psychological5 ,s it in the consciousness of (an5 =here is the crisis5 ,s it in the
technological orl!5 A crisis is a fire6 an! the (in! has to ha8e an i((ensity
hich the crisis !e(an!s%$
/e sai!6 #he intense !ri8e of thought in the !irection of technology has le!
to tre(en!ous !isco8eries% #here see(s to be no en! to this proble(*sol8ing
!ri8e% =e use the sa(e !ri8e to tackle psychological proble(s of gree!6 hate6
fear% #here is no e8olution in the psyche% ;ree! an! fear cannot !issol8e into
their opposites% #his is the fallacy an! the great illusion% Beco(ing is illusion%
;ree! can only gro an! strengthen in its on natureG it can ne8er beco(e non*
gree!%
So is it possible to !iscar! the i!ea of e8olution in the psyche5 Can one en!
thinking in ter(s of ti(e as beco(ing5 3utation is that% ,n that is fun!a(ental
change%$
1uring his stay in Bo(bay he as to speak of li8ing lightly as a guest in
one>s house6 or in one>s bo!y% #o be a guest is to ha8e no sense of attach(entG to
step lightly on the earth%$
/e also spoke of a ne use of the senses6 so that in functioning the sense
organs !o not !estroy energy6 but let it flo% Aternity6$ he sai! gra8ely6 is that
ti(eless flo%$
CHAPTER 45
=hat ,s #i(e5$
7ro( the early 196<s 'rishna:i ha! been greatly concerne! ith the proble( of
ti(e% /e ha! spoken of the (any !i(ensions of ti(e at the breakfast table6 on
alks6 an! in his talks an! !iscussions% ,n early @o8e(ber 19806 hen e ere
together in (y house at 11 Saf!ar:ung ?oa!6 @e 1elhi6 he continue! to
Cuestion%
=hat is ti(e5$ 'rishna:i aske!% Can e be si(ple an! go as !eeply into the
nature of ti(e as possible5 =e kno a hole series of continuous ti(e
(o8e(ents% =e kno physical ti(e an! psychological ti(e as beco(ing6 an!
the (o8e(ent of not beco(ing% Beteen the Ohat is> an! Ohat shoul! be> is
ti(e% Physical ti(e is !istance6 fro( here to there% @o6 is physical ti(e relate!
internally to psychological ti(e5$
, replie!6 'noing physical ti(e by the clock6 one applies ti(e as a reaching
out6 in the inner% #he illusion is the intro!uction of the concept of physical ti(e
to the ithin an! the shaping of the structure of the ithin6 on the basis of the
linear (o8e(ent of physical ti(e% #he (easure of beco(ing is the (easure of
inar! ti(e%$
=hen the outer (o8e(ent is eBten!e! to psychological states6 the illusion of
ti(e enters% #he i!ea of groth in the outer eBten!s to the inner%$ As 'rishna:i
spoke6 he as listening !eeply6 listening to us an! to hi(self% #he listening as
itself a probing%
#he (o8e(ent of beco(ing is the O, shoul! be%> ,t is a process of fantasyG it
buil!s fro( illusion to illusion% #he (in! ru(inates% O=hat ill beHthen hat
ill happen5> AnBietiesHfears are part of its structure%
#he brain eBten!s the physical ti(e into the inner psychological sphere6
because the brain is con!itione! to linear ti(e in the outer% As it is con!itione! to
that6 it accepts psychological ti(e in the ithin% , a( Cuestioning that illusion
that con!itions the brain% #he brain is accusto(e! to the (o8e(ent of beco(ing%
,t looks at itself as a (o8e(ent in ti(e% ,t operates in this illusion% #he brain is
e8ol8e! in ti(e6 an! so looks at e8erything in ter(s of ti(e% O, a(6 , as6>
(o!ifie! into6 O, ill be%> @o , ask6 is that so5 ,s there a to(orro in the
psyche5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
#here is a physical to(orro6 therefore psychological to(orro is
ine8itable6$ , sai!%
#hat is continuity6$ 'rishna:i inter8ene!%
, eBistG therefore there ill be to(orro% =hy !o strong feelings of fear get
entangle! in the pro:ection of the to(orro5$ , aske!% #here as silence for
so(e ti(e%
#here is no ti(e6$ 'rishna:i sai! su!!enly% Physical ti(e e kno as
(o8e(ent% #here is no ay of (easuring physical ti(e ithout (o8e(ent% ,f
there ere no (o8e(ent in the psyche6 as thought6 the heel of ti(e en!s%
4ook at it6$ he sai!% 3o8e(ent is ti(e% 3o8e(ent is thought% #hought is a
(aterial process% #hat is si(ple% =hy !o e co(plicate it5 Can you accept this
e8en logically5$
=hat !oes it (ean to accept a state(ent logically5$ , aske!%
#o see that any psychological (o8e(ent is the process of beco(ing% @o6 is
there a (o8e(ent here no ti(e eBists5$ he aske!% ,f you sit in a !ark roo(6
ithout (o8e(ent6 ithout thought6 is there ti(e5 #his is also so in the ithin%
=hen there is no thought6 no (o8e(ent in ti(e6 the outer an! inner is the sa(e
(o8e(ent%$
#here (ay be an en!ing of physical (o8e(ent in the brain6 for a (o(ent6
but the action of ti(e as !uration6 as continuity6 is an acti8ity that operates in
e8ery cell of (y bo!y% ,t also acts in the brain% #he action of ti(e is ine8itable%$ ,
sai!%
#he brain is a physical thing% #he brain gros ol!% ,t !eteriorates% #he
Cuestion is hether the brain nee!s to !eteriorate5$ 'rishna:i enCuire!%
,f it is a (aterial process6 as (aterial as the fact that (y hair gros grayHit
(ust !eteriorate% /o is it possible that one part of the organis( can re(ain
unaffecte!5$ , aske!%
&ou say the brain gros senile% Senility is the physical aging by ti(e% #o (e
the brain nee! ne8er gro ol!6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
/o !o you !istinguish beteen the brain an! other organs5 /o can the
brain alone ha8e the capacity for reneal5$ , aske!%
Are e clear hat is (eant by ti(e5 ,t is the sa(e (o8e(ent in the outer as
in the inner% #hey are not separate% 3illennia through (illennia6 that (o8e(ent
has continue!% #he Cuestion is6 Can that (o8e(ent stop5 #hat constant
(o8e(ent is !ecay6 is the factor of !eterioration6 both organically an! in the
psyche%$
#he brain recei8es physical sti(uli so it ill alays respon! as (o8e(ent to
the challenge6$ , sai!%
;o slo6 go slo6$ sai! 'rishna:i% #here is reaction an! actionHotherise
the brain is !ea!% But that action in itself has little significance%$
#he brain cannot be holly still6$ , sai!% 1oes aging arise because of
(o8e(ent or friction5$ , aske!%
3o8e(ent6 as e kno it6 is friction% 3o8e(ent is the !eteriorating factor%
,t is like a piston in an engine% Any (o8e(ent in the brain physically ears out
the brain% ,t is the psychological process that affects the bo!y an! the brain% ,t is
not the other ay aroun!6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Can there be (o8e(ent ithout friction5$ Asit spoke%
,f there is no psychological (o8e(ent6 then (o8e(ent is as in absolute
space6 there is no friction6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
An! yet there is tre(en!ous (o8e(ent in outer space%$
=hen psychological (o8e(ent is not6 ti(e as beco(ing is not% But one can
sit 8ery Cuietly in a !ark roo( for tenty years an! the brain ill go on agingH
for thought6 as beco(ing6 continues to operate% But hen thought is Cuiet6
ithout (o8e(ent6 then the psyche has no ti(e% ,f there is no (o8e(ent as
thought6 there is no beco(ing% Beco(ing creates !uality% #herefore there is
conflict6 !eterioration6 ti(e% #i(e is the barrier6 is li(itation% -nly a spaceship
that is (o8ing ithout friction can go to the li(itless% ,f friction as (o8e(ent6 as
psychological ti(e6 stops6 is there a factor of !eterioration5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
=hen the brain is Cuiet6 !oes the bo!y function naturally5$ Asit aske!%
&es6 the bo!y has its on intelligence6$ sai! 'rishna:i% ,s this an actuality5
Can the brain e8er be ithout (o8e(ent eBcept for its on natural (o8e(ent5
Psychological (o8e(ent is interfering ith the bo!y% Can that (o8e(ent stop5
#hat in turn i(plies6 can there be no accu(ulation of any kin!5$
=hat !istinguishes the negation or !enial of all ti(e as (o8e(ent5$ ,
Cuestione!% /o is one aare of ti(e5$
, a( aare of it hen there is a challenge6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#he brain reaches out6 looks backar!s or forar!s6 an! asks Cuestions%$ ,
continue! the enCuiry%
#hat is (o8e(ent6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
But actually the brain is cheing the cu! all the ti(e6$ , sai!% =hen the
brain is not seriously challenge!6 it plays ga(es ith itself% ,t thros up
(e(ories%$
#he brain is (e(ory6$ sai! 'rishna:i% ?e(orse6 guilt6 are a constant
(o8e(ent in the brain6 as (e(ory% #he brain is (e(ory6 a (o8e(ent fro( the
past through the present to the future%$
Continuity is that% #he brain creates (e(ory% 1oes it play ith it5$ aske!
Asit%
#he brain sur8i8es through (e(ory6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=e kno the function of the heart% ,t is to pu(p bloo! through the arteries
an! 8eins% =hat is the function of the brain5 ,s it to create knole!ge as store!
(e(ory5$ aske! Asit%
=hat is the (o8e(ent that (ust stop5 -r !o you say that all (o8e(ent (ust
stop5$ , aske!%
#he brain feels that in (e(ory is security6$ sai! Asit%
,n the en!ing of this (o8e(ent6 !oes a ne (o8e(ent co(e into being6
hich (akes it totally secure5 ,s there a (o8e(ent outsi!e ti(e5$ , aske!%
1on>t put that Cuestion6$ sai! 'rishna:i% As the heart functions naturally6 so
the brain has its on (o8e(entHhen (e(ory !oes not interfere% #he brain has
its on (o8e(ent on hich it has superi(pose! (e(ory% 4isten6$ he sai!6 the
heart !oesn>t re(e(ber% #he heart beats ithout re(e(brance% #he brain can
function ithout (o8e(ent6 if alloe! to !o so by thought% #he heart !oesn>t
pu(p because of knole!ge%$
#o !ra si(ilarities beteen the heart an! brain is not correct6$ , sai!% #he
physical brain has e8ol8e! out of (e(ory6 out of (an>s capacity an!
eBperiences% ,t can only sur8i8e through hoping6 seeking sur8i8al%$
1oes the brain teach the bo!y to sur8i8e5$ aske! Asit%
,s the brain e kno built out of (e(ory5 #here is a part of the brain one is
not aare of% =hen the holeness of the brain operates6 it has no li(its6$ , sai!%
#he brain teaches the han! skills% #hought itself creates (e(ory to sur8i8e6$
sai! Asit%
#he hole brain is not linke! to (e(ory6$ , sai!%
#he brain has sought security through knole!ge6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
/as the hu(an brain beco(e bigger because of this capacity5 ,s (utation
ithin the brain5 Surely (utation cannot be outsi!e the brain5$ , aske!% =hat
(utates5$
'nole!ge has (a!e the groun! of the brain 8ery li(ite!% 'nole!ge is
!isco8ering that the groun! of the brain hich it has create! is not stable an!
feels that friction as (o8e(ent is necessary for the brain to sur8i8e% So hat !oes
it !o5$ 'rishna:i sai!% ,t sees there is no security in knole!ge% #he brain
realiDes its foun!ation in knole!ge is 8ery eak%$
Can it see that there (ay be a !ifferent groun! altogether5$ Asit spoke%
#he brain6 as it functions6 can ne8er let go of the past% All (o8e(ent is ti(e%
So , ask6 !oes one re(ain in the ol! house5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
=hen , !on>t (o8e there is no groun! on hich the ol! house can arise% #o
(o8e aay fro( the unstable groun! creates the ne groun!6$ sai! Asit%
Any (o8e(ent (eans !uality6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Asit continue!6 =hen there is no ti(e6 there is no space% ,f there is no
(o8e(ent6 there is no ti(e% =hen there is nothing in spaceHno ob:ect6 no
thoughtHhere is ti(e5 But hat , say is at the intellectual le8el%$
,f there is no (easure6 is it the sa(e brain that functions ithout (o8e(ent5
=hen the brain is silent6 the (in! operates% #hat is the intelligence of the
uni8erse%$ 'rishna:i ha! taken a 8ast leap6 an! e ere left far behin!% =e ha!
no or!s% 4ater6 , broke the silence% ,s intelligence a faculty of the brain5$
,ntelligence is that hich sees the (o8e(ent of continuity6 sees it as the
process of aging% #he intelligence that sees this6 is outsi!e the brain6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
,f the brain cannot reach it6 ho or hat is it that sees the li(itation of the
brain5 #o see that6 the brain (ust ha8e contact ith that6$ sai! Asit%
#he brain in its functioning has its on intelligence% #hat li(ite! brain has
no relationship to the other6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#hen hat is it that can stop the (o8e(ent of the brain5$ aske! Asit%
,ts percei8ing6 its on ina!eCuacy6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
,f the brain is only a (o8e(ent of ti(e6 then hat sees its on li(itation5$
'rishna:i spoke out of a long silence% =oul! you accept insight as the
operation of the hole brain5$
,s the operation of insight then not connecte! ith the narro operation of
the brain5$ , aske!%
An insight into the operation of li(itation frees the brain fro( li(itation%
,nsight can only arise hen there is no (e(ory6 an! so no ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hen the hole brain is operating6 it has no !irection% ,t is free of the past%
,nsight is (in! operating on brain%$ Again there as silence%
#he brain is li(ite!% /o can the (in! operate on the brain5$ , aske!%
' has atche! carefully6 ithout (oti8e% ,n that atching there is
tre(en!ous attention% ,t is like light focusing% #hat attention6 the !epth of it6 is
(in!% #hat attention focuses light on the li(itations of the brain% 4o8e is outsi!e
the brain% 4o8e is not a sensation% ,nsight is not a sensation% ,t is not a reaction%
=e ha8e co(e to an en!ing6$ sai! the sage%
, as tra8eling by air to 3a!ras fro( @e 1elhi on 1ece(ber .86 1980% ,
ha! been correcting (y (anuscript6 hen su!!enly the 8ital !ifference beteen
ser(on an! !ialogue beca(e clear% ,n the =est6 !ialogue ha! sel!o( playe! a
(a:or part in aakening religious enCuiry% ,t ha! been use! in philosophic
!issertation6 the Socratic !ialogues ha! concerne! the(sel8es ith !isco8ery of
truth through logic an! rigorous enCuiry% But the intensity of enCuiry that ha!
been generate! by Socrates re(aine! a soun!ing boar! for the fra(eork of
logic an! reason% At the en! of the !ialogue6 reason as establishe!% =hat of the
other participantsH!i! the to strea(s beco(e one in their flo5 1i! all
!i8ision en!5
,n (ost religions the truth as a re8eale! truth6 establishe! through !octrine6
of Bible or 'oran6 its acceptance base! on faith% Any hint of !oubt or Cuestioning
as regar!e! as heresyG this as so a(ongst the Cathars of 7rance6 the early
Coptic sects6 the ;nostics% #he truth of the church as not the truth that arose out
of pristine perception an! self*enCuiry an! the energy generate! by !ialogue%
,n!ian religious enCuiry ha! fro( the earliest ti(es perfecte! !ialogue as an
instru(ent of probing the ithin of thingsG using logic to its ulti(ate li(its as a
tool6 it coul! free itself of logic an! !el8e beyon!%
'rishna:i ha! gi8en to !ialogue a !epth an! !i(ension% #hrough listening at
great !epth6 !uality en!e! an! the !oors to the ithin of the (in! an! nature
opene!% #he Cuality6 the perception6 an! the spaces of the (in! change!% ,f one
obser8e!6 in listening to a ser(on or a lecture there as an acceptance or a
re:ection6 e8en a CuestioningG thought as in abeyance6 intersperse! by thought
an!ering6 caught in beco(ing6 as the past or the future%
,n serious religious !ialogue the ear is open6 energy is gathere!6 the senses
aake6 operating si(ultaneouslyG attention fills the (in!% /el! in attention6 the
(in! rests un!ifferentiate!% 7ro( this groun! all responses are possible% #o
participate at !epth6 there has to be listening at !epth% ,n this state the Cuestioner
an! listener lose their separate i!entities%
, as hesitant6 uncertain of the i(plications of hat ha! arisen% -n reaching
Fasant Fihar6 , spoke of it to 'rishna:i% 4ike Cuicksil8er his (in! aoke to the
full i(plications of hat , ha! been feeling out% /e as totally aake6 eager to
pursue the sub:ect6 to open it up an! probe into the Cuestion%
#hat afternoon e began a !iscussion on the nature of intense !ialogue an! its
role in freeing the brain fro( ti(e%
'rishna:i sai!6 =e ill talk about ti(e an! !ialogue as beteen to
religious people% ?eligious in the sense of people ho are free fro( all tra!ition6
free fro( authority6 fro( all syste(s% ,n such !ialogue there is a Cuestioning an!
an anseringG the ansering pro8okes a further CuestionG an! so the Cuestion is
kept rolling% ,n such !ialogue there is a state of listening here the to people
!isappear an! only the Cuestion re(ains%$
1ialogues nee! not (ean to people6$ , sai!% Assentially6 its (eaning
see(s to be a probing into so(ething through a listening an! challenging
situation% , see that all proble(s that arise in the brain are born of ti(e% #hey
arise because of the nee! to change Ohat is%> #he (o8e(ent of the brain hich
ishe! to change Ohat is> into so(ething else creates ti(e%$
Physical ti(e is sunrise an! sunset6$ sai! '% #he co8ering of one point to
another point% Psychologically6 ti(e is to beco(e so(ething% #i(e is the hole
process of e8olution6 both the psychological an! physical%
3y Cuestion is6 is there a totally !ifferent ti(e5 #i(e as non*(o8e(ent5
#i(e as e kno it is (o8e(ent6 the !i8ision beteen one action an! another
actionG ti(e is hopeG ti(e is the (o8e(ent of the past6 through the present6 to the
future% #i(e is the (o8e(ent of fulfilling6 achie8ing6 beco(ing% #i(e is thinking
about so(ething an! acting% #he inter8al is ti(e% , a( asking6 ,s there a ti(e that
!oes not belong to any of these categories at all5$ 'rishna:i ha! plunge! into the
Cuestion%
&ou say the ti(e you speak of !oes not belong to the category of (o8e(ent%
1oes it belong to the category of (atter5$ , aske!%
@ot as , un!erstan! it% , ha8e been tol! (atter is soli!ifie!6 (anifeste!
energy% #i(e as the tree groing6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
#he brain is (atter% ,n that (atter6 e8olution (ust eBist6$ , sai!%
-f course% =e ere (onkeysG after (illions of years e are )omo sapi"ns%$
sai! 'rishna:i%
=e link that e8olution ith the content ithin the brain% #he brain is (atter%
A8olution is inherent in the brain% #he content of the brain is (e(ory% =e link
e8olution in the brain ith e8olution in (e(ory%$ 4istening6 the response arose%
, see hat you are talking about% /as (e(ory e8ol8e! through a process of
e8olution5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
#he proble( arises because e apply to (e(ory the sa(e rules as e apply
to (atter6$ , sai!% A8olution is inherent in (atter% #he proble( is e take the
content of the brain hich is (e(ory an! feel that there is an entity that can
change that content% #he hole process of beco(ing is that% #hat is the ti(e of
the ithin6 ti(e of the interior%$
But all e8olution i(plies ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=e apply e8olution6 hich is inherent in the brain substance6 to its content%
,s there e8olution in the ti(e ithin5$ , aske!%
A8olution is ti(e%$ 'rishna:i oul! not (o8e%
,f e8olution is ti(e6 hy shoul! it not be applicable to beco(ing5$ , aske!%
Beco(ing i(plies ti(e% , a( this6 , ill be that% Pupul:i asks hether the
content of the brain is part of the process of e8olution5$ /e ha! turne! to the
others%
@o% #he brain itself is a pro!uct of ti(e as e8olution% But is the content of
the brain6 hich has been a gathering of eBperience through (illennia6 i!entical
ith the nature of the brain stuff itself5$
,t is si(ple to un!erstan! that beco(ing is illusion% But there is so(ething
(uch (ore than that% &ou i(ply that there is an outer ti(e of the atch an! an
inner ti(e of beco(ing% #hen you ask6 ,s there another ti(e that !oes not belong
to these to categories5 #i(e an! space are one% #i(e an! (atter are one%$ ,
pushe!%
#i(e is (atter% #i(e is (anifeste! energy% #he 8ery (anifestation is a
process of ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
So ti(e cannot eBist ithout (anifestation5$ , Cuerie!%
=e kno ti(e as past6 present6 an! future6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=e pro:ect ti(e into the future% =hat is the natureHthe perception of that
instant in hich is reality5$ , aske!%
, see that the future is the past (o!ifying itself in the present% #hat is ti(e% ,
ill !oH, ill beco(e% @o6 is there a ti(eless action that is perceptionHaction
ithout inter8al5$ 'rishna:i ha! begun the Cuestion hich as the opening of
the !oorays%
=hat is it that is (o!ifie! in the present5$ , aske!%
#hought6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Can e eBa(ine that instant hen (o!ification takes place5$ , aske!%
, a( afrai! of hat (ight happen to(orro% #o(orro is both the present
an! yester!ay% #he present6 the Ono6> is both the past an! the future6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
1oes perception in the present negate both the past an! the future5$
#hat perception reCuires an en!ing of the past% Perception is ti(eless% ?ight5
&ou percei8e that you are full of pre:u!ices6 knole!ge6 conclusion6 beliefs an!
ith that you look at the present an! that present is (o!ifie! by the challenge%
&ou (ight alter it6 but you re(ain in the sa(e fiel!6$ ' respon!e!%
&es6 this is a state here there is no point of perception% But to un!erstan!
the ti(e hich !oes not belong to this strea( is ob8iously to un!erstan! the
perception of the Ono6> $ , sai!%
Perception is not of ti(e% ,t !oes not contain the past6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
=hat is the Ono>5$
, ill tell you% #he Ono> is the past an! the present% #he Ono> is all ti(e as
past ti(e6 future ti(e6 an! present ti(e6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Can one eBperience past ti(e5 Can one eBperience future ti(e5 =hat is the
eBperiencing of all ti(e5$ , as challenging 'rishna:i%
&ou cannot eBperience that% #o eBperience that i(plies the eBperiencer6 ho
is eBperiencing in ti(e%$ #he response ca(e siftly%
#herefore6 hen you say the Ono> is all ti(eHhat !o you actually
(ean5$ #here as a long pause% ,s there an actual contact ith the Ono>5$ ,
aske!%
#he past has create! the present6$ Achyut spoke%
#hat is easy to see% , a( trying to !el8e !eeper% 'rishna:i says the past an!
the present are both containe! in the Ono%> , say hat is this Ono>5$ , as
pushing as far as , coul!%
Sunan!a inter8ene!% Pupul6 look at it% #he Ono> is Ohat is>Hthe hole of
the past is in Ohat is%> $
But hat is Ohat is>5$ , aske!%
/o !o you assert that the past is containe! in the present5 1o you actually
eBperience it6 or is it a theory5 #his is (y Cuestion% Pupul:i is asking6 =hat
(akes you say the past is containe! in the present5 ,s it an i!ea6 theory6 or !o you
ha8e insight into that5$ 'rishna:i as Cuestioning hi(self%
4et us see hat 'rishna:i is saying6$ , sai!% /e asks6 O,s there a ti(e hich
is not linear ti(e6 nor the ti(e of beco(ing5 ,s there a ti(e hich is in!epen!ent
of both these ti(es5> $
#hat is all6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
-nly perception or re8elation can bring it about in the present% /o !o ,
co(e to the Ono> of eBperience5$
&ou cannot co(e to it% &ou cannot eBperience it% &ou cannot concei8e it%
See hat has happene!% &ou cannot eBperience it6 but your brain is
con!itione! to eBperience6 to knole!ge% ,t is con!itione! to (easure(ent
through or!s% #his cannot be approache! that ay% ?ight5 #hat is the religious
(in!% ,t has ipe! out theories6 i!eas% =e are !ealing ith actualities% ?ight5
#hat>s here religious enCuiry begins%$ 'rishna:i as at the center of the
enCuiry%
,s it possible to probe into this ti(e you speak about5$ , as hesitant%
,t is possible in the sense that you (ay use or!s6 but or!s are not the
thing%$
&ou cannot !i8i!e past6 present an! future ith or!s5$ Sunan!a spoke%
&es% But the Cuestion re(ains6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
&es6 the Cuestion re(ains% #hat is hat is eBtraor!inary% #he Cuestion
re(ains6 but the Cuestioners !o not re(ain6$ , sai!%
&es6 the Cuestioners cease to eBist6$ 'rishna:i spoke%
But is it a 8erbal Cuestion at all5$ aske! ?a!hika%
=hat !oes the Cuestion operate upon5$ aske! Asit%
4et us enCuire% =e are saying ti(e is e8olution% #i(e is beco(ing% #i(e is
fro( here to thereHphysically an! psychologically% =e kno that process of
beco(ing an! nonbeco(ingHthe positi8e an! the negati8eHan! e procee!
along these lines all our life% #hen so(eone co(es along an! asks6 Ohat for5>
/e has left (e ith that Cuestion% =e pon!er o8er it an! say6 O4et us look at itG
let us fin! out%> =e see there is ti(e beteen seeing6 thinking6 an! being% #hat
inter8al is ti(e% ,t is in the fiel! of ti(e% &ou also see that all ti(e is containe! in
the present% Pupul then asks6 OCan e eBplore into the present5> , say6 O@o%> ,f
you eBperience it6 the eBperiencer is the past an! the eBperience itself is of ti(e%
=hat is the state of the brain that has put aay all theories an! con:ectures5
=hat is the state of the brain that sees perception an! action as one5 ,t sees that
there is no inter8al6 an! so no ti(e% Perception is free of ti(e% =hat is that state
hich is the Ono>5 Perception is the Ono%> Perception is not of ti(e% #here is
no O, ill learn to percei8e%>
=hat is perception5 ,t is not of ti(e% Can one eBperience that5 ,t is not
possible% Perception has no percei8er% Perception is Ono>Htherefore it is
ti(eless% #herefore action born of perception is ti(eless%$ #he Cuestion ha!
floere!%
#herefore6 in that perception6 the past an! future are totally annihilate!5$ ,
aske! hesitatingly%
Perception of hat5$ aske! Asit%
=hat is the necessity for perception to percei8e6 Sir5$ aske! Sunan!a%
,n the state of !ialogue6$ e aske! the Cuestion%
O=hat is the no6> ' says6 O,t contains the past6 present an! future%> #hen
the brain asks6 O/o !o , contact it5> An! he says6 O,t cannot be contacte!% #here
can only be perception%> @o the listening6 taking in of that perception ipes out
past an! present%$ , as tentati8ely feeling (y ay into the Cuestion%
&ou see6 it is happening no% 4istening is not of ti(e% ,f , listen6 it is Ono%>
4istening has no ti(e% #herefore there is no horiDontal ti(e%$ 'rishna:i spoke%
=hat is the enCuiry6 then5$ aske! Asit%
-ut of Cuestioning6 listening arisesG out of listening6 Cuestioning arises6$ ,
sai!%
1on>t theoriDe%$ 'rishna:i as Cuick to see that (y response lacke! !epth%
, a( not theoriDing%$
Perception is ti(eless%$
#hen , ask you a Cuestion% ,s it possible to probe5$ , sai!%
, say6 yes% ,n probing the (in! ri!s itself of all concepts6 all theories6 all
hopes6 !esires% ,t is no in a state of purity% ,n that state you can enCuire% , tell
you6 O4o8e is not of ti(e%> /o !o you listen5 =hat is your response5 &ou hear
or!s6 or!s ha8e (eaning% &ou interpret the( accor!ing to your capacity% Can
you listen to the truth of that ithout the or!5$ 'rishna:i aske!%
&ou can>t listen like that% &ou listen to the or!s6$ sai! Asit%
#he or! is not the thing6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
, listen to the or!6 but !o not un!erstan!6$ Asit reiterate!%
Co(e6 ha8e a !ialogue ith (e%$ 'rishna:i as !raing his listeners
toar!s hi(%
,f , (ay say so(ething6 ho !o you listen5 ,sn>t that the crucial Cuestion5$ ,
aske!%
&ou cannot listen to or!s ithout translating the(6$ Asit spoke%
,n a !ialogue ith 'rishna:i you listen ithout thought operating6 an! yet
co(prehen! fully hat he is saying% #here is a listening at such !epth6 that it
opens up the Cuestion6$ , sai!%
=hat !o you (ean by co(prehen!ing5$ aske! Sunan!a%
Can you ha8e a !ialogue ith the Cuestion6 O4o8e is not of ti(e>5$
1on>t 8erbaliDe% =e ha8e all been traine! to be highly intellectual% A poor
(an ho !oes not see( bright6 he ill un!erstan! a si(ple state(ent6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
/o can there be enCuiry in a state of attention5$ aske! Asit%
Just listen% &ou tell (e6 O4o8e is not of ti(e%> #o (e6 that is a tre(en!ous
fact% , say , really !on>t un!erstan! it6 an! you tell (e you on>t un!erstan! it6
the ay you ant to un!erstan! it% 1o you get hat , a( saying5 &ou ant to
un!erstan! it through the intellectual process6 through argu(ent6 through a 8erbal
process of reaction% But you on>t un!erstan! it that ay% &ou say6 O#hat is the
only instru(ent , ha8e%> , say there is a totally !ifferent instru(ent% &ou say6
O#ell (e about that instru(ent%> , say6 OPut asi!e your capacity6 your knole!ge
that is ti(e%> $ sai! 'rishna:i%
Are you saying6 OPut asi!e your intellectual instru(ent6>5$ aske! Asit%
-f course not6$ sai! 'rishna:i% , sai!6 OPut asi!e knole!ge%> 'nole!ge is
e8olution% ,s there a co(prehension6 an insight6 an i((e!iate perception6 ithout
the or!6 ithout bringing all knole!ge into it5 , say6 yes% Can there be a state
here there is pure perception of so(ething an! can you probe into that
perception5$
#he !iscussions on ti(e ere to continue in 3a!ras% At a se(inar on January
+6 198+6 at Fasant Fihar6 the sub:ect as !iscusse! again% Professor ;eorge
Su!arshan an! Pan!it Jagannath "pa!hyaya ere present%
#he Cuestion has been raise! by our frien! on the functioning of !ifferent
kin!s of ti(e% #hat is6 is there a ti(e hich co(es into operation6 hich
functions e8en hen beco(ing ceases to be5 #hat hen cause an! effect ha8e
cease!6 hen nor(al process of causation6 of (e(ory an! eBpectation6
anticipationHall the backgroun! accu(ulate! o8er one>s lifeti(e or e8en before
thatHha8e been gi8en up6 !rop off2 ,s there still a kin! of ti(e in hich e8ents
unfol!5$ ;eorge Su!arshan co((ence!6 unfol!ing the Cuestion%
, a!!e!6 'rishna:i also spoke of the arising of a perception hich
si(ultaneously negates that arising6 a si(ultaneity of arising an! negatingG an!
hat is the nature of ti(e6 in relationship to the Ono>5$
=e ha8e sai!6 O#he present6 hich is the past6 is also the future%> =e also
sai! that ti(e is not only beco(ing6 anticipation6 hope6 but also ti(e is the
hol!ingHthe sense of possessing6 the sense of accu(ulating knole!ge an!
li8ing ith that knole!geG that also is ti(e% An! e aske!6 ,s there any other
ti(e (o8e(ent5 ,s the (o8e(ent of thought a (aterial processG thought hich is
also (o8e(ent5 So6 ti(e an! thought are si(ilar% #here is physical ti(e6 fro(
here to there%
&ou are no asking a Cuestion2 O,s there a non(o8e(ent hen one has
steppe! out of psychological ti(e5 ,s there a (o8e(ent hich is totally !ifferent
fro( the (o8e(ent of ti(e an! thought5> $ #he 3aster ha! co((ence! the
enCuiry%
1o you speak of the brain ceasing to function6 or the (in! ceasing to
function5$ enCuire! Su!arshan%
, oul! like to separate the brain an! the (in!% #he brain is con!itione!%
#he (in! is outsi!e the brain% 3in!6 for (e6 is so(ething totally unrelate! to the
con!itione! brain an! therefore so(ething hich is not (easurable by or!s or
by thought% =hereas the brain acti8ity an! the astage of the brain acti8ity is
(easurable an! (easure is ti(e% @o any function arising fro( accu(ulate!
knole!ge is the knonHas (yself6 (y ego6 (y self*centere! acti8ity% @o6 is
it possible not to be self*centere!5 Can one ask this Cuestion2 Can one be free of
the self6 entirely5
#he self6 the O(e6> is the pro!uct of ti(eHe8olution% ,t is the acti8ity of the
self*centere! brain as (y position6 (y poer% ,t is the O(e%> An! as long as there
is that O(e> hich is accu(ulate! knole!ge6 (e(ory6 eBperience6 there is the
li(itation of ti(e6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
Jagannath "pa!hyaya aske!6 -ne (ay speak of ti(e in hate8er ay one
likesHti(e as thought6 ti(e as (o8e(ent6 etcetera% #here is ti(e as the co(ing
into eBistence an! ti(e as ceasing to be6 hich is the process of beco(ing in
hich e li8e% But behin! it6 is there (in!6 in hich there is no arising an!
en!ing5 ,f it is so6 then it is outsi!e us6 one cannot !o anything about it% =e can>t
act upon it or in8estigate it5$
@o6 e can>t% As long as the self6 the O(e6> is arising6 !ying6 arising6 en!ing6
an! again arising6 this constant process of beco(ing is ti(e%$
@ot only beco(ing but being6$ eBplaine! the Bu!!hist%
=hen "pa!hyaya speaks of being6 he (eans O, a(%> #here is a beco(ing6
but there is also the sense of O, a(%> $ ?a!ha Burnier ha! :oine! the !ialogue%
=e see this process of arising6 beco(ingHthought arising6 thought en!ing
Hhen this stops6 hat happens5$
/o !o you kno it stops5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
#o put it si(ply6 hen beco(ing co(es to an en!6 is there Being5$ ?a!ha:i
continue!%
=hat !o you (ean by Being5$
#he sense of O, a(6> $ offere! Achyut%
ABisting6$ , inter8ene!%
=hat is eBisting5 #he (o(ent you acknole!ge you are li8ing6 you set the
hole process of the self in operation%$
@o6 , on>t accept that6$ , sai!% =ith en!ing6 beco(ing en!s% #o (ost of us
it is possible for a thought pro:ection to en!6 hich is for beco(ing to en!% But
that state is not a !ea! thing% ,t is a state of eBisting%$
Su!arshan enCuire!6 =hen you talk about Being6 is it a state(ent about a
con!ition or function or are you talking about an ob:ect5 ,f it is Being6 by
!efinition it is an ob:ect%$
, a( not talking about Being as ob:ect%$
So6 hen you talk about li8ing or Being6 to the eBtent that there is no
separation of a knoing person fro( the rest6 to the eBtent that there is vyaapti6
co(plete i!entification6 ithout clai(ing anything for yourself6 there is no
separation beteen you an! anything else6$ sai! Su!arshan%
=hy !o you !eny Being5 Being in the sense that so(ething Ois%> 1o you say
there is nothing5$ , aske!%
#here is no !ifference beteen Being an! beco(ing% =hen beco(ing en!s6
being en!s6$ respon!e! the Pan!it%
&es6$ sai! 'rishna:i%
Beco(ing an! being are the sa(e% =here there is beco(ing an! being6 there
is the self ith all its acti8ities6 etcetera6 an! hen it en!s6 that also en!s% But
hen there is the en! of all this6 of thought6 etcetera6 then is there so(ething
hich sustains6 in hich e8erything is sustaine!5$ aske! Jagannath "pa!hyaya%
,f , (ay ask6 hat is the !istinction you !ra beteen beco(ing an!
being5$ , aske! the Pan!it%
,n Sanskrit they are not to or!s% Bhava (eans both being an! beco(ing6$
?a!ha:i eBplaine!%
Pan!it:i says that hat you call intelligence is unrelate! to intellect% -nly
hen this intellect recogniDes that it is frag(ente! an! is li(ite! that it ceases
an! intelligence is born6$ sai! Achyut%
, oul! like to go into beco(ing an! being a little (ore% Being is a state of
non!ifferentiation%$
=hy !o you !ifferentiate beteen being an! beco(ing5$ 'rishna:i enCuire!%
#here is a state fro( hich things arise an! into hich things !isappear6$ ,
sai!%
=hich is the self5$ 'rishna:i spoke%
,n a state of attention6 a state of aareness6 hat is there5$ , enCuire!%
,n attention there is no self6$ sai! the 3aster%
#hen hat is the nature of attention5$ , aske!%
Are you asking hat is the nature of attention or hether there is a groun! or
stratu( fro( hich attention springs5$ ?a!ha:i turne! to (e%
Attention has no backgroun!%$ 'rishna:i brought us back to the central
Cuestion%
#he scientist Su!arshan began to eBplore% #here are to kin!s of functioning
in the physical uni8erse% -ne is a functioning hich is labele! by !iscrete e8ents
in hich you ha8e a chronology6 you ha8e a seCuence of things6 an! then you
construct las connecting the e8ents% An! so you say the in! is cause! by
!ifferences in te(perature6 an! you fin! one e8ent causing another e8ent hich
is causing another e8ent6 an! you are able to un!erstan! a nu(ber of things% #hen
there is another kin! of functioning in hich you !on>t !ifferentiate6 for eBa(ple6
an ob:ect hich is (o8ing freelyG an! it as a great !isco8ery of physics hen
people !eci!e! that free (otion !oes not reCuire an eBplanation% &ou !on>t ask
hy it is continually (o8ingG you attribute it to the nature of things6 you say that
it is the nature of ob:ects to (o8e% An! one can enlarge6 generaliDe the scope of
the thing so that no syste( functions in a sense ithout this thing% An isolate!
syste(Hisolate! in the sense that there is no otherG a co(plete syste( has no
history6 has no e8ents in it% A8ents co(e hen you are putting the syste( hich
is functioning by itself6 ithin the (atriB of so(ething else6 an! then you say
so(ething hich is (o8ing in a close! fashion6 is really not natural because e
like to think straight% So e ask the Cuestion2 =hy is it not (o8ing straight5 So
chronological ti(e of unfol!ing takes place hen you ha8e an inco(plete
syste(6 inco(plete in the sense that there are i!eals for the beha8ior of the
syste(6 hich are not eBternal to the syste(6 an! hen you (easure the actual
perfor(ance of the syste( against these i!eals6 then you talk about e8ents taking
place an! chronology% But hen the syste( is co(plete ithin itself6 it is not
featureless6 but its functioning has no chronology6 there are no e8ents ithin the
syste(% "nfortunately6 e are so use! to the i!ea of chronology that natural
e8olution is alays 8ery puDDling2 an e8olution in hich there are no happenings%
So6 hene8er there is a (otion hich contains things taking place but to hich
e cannot put !efinite cause an! effect6 e feel 8ery anBious6 e feel that e !o
not fully un!erstan!% =e ant to break it up6 !iscretiDe it%
Perhaps these to possible kin!s of unfol!ing (ay be useful as (o!els for
this !iscussion% #here is one kin! of ti(eHphysical ti(e in hich e8ents take
place6 in hich the secon! la of cause an! effect takes place% Another ti(e in
hich you cannot say hat is the cause an! hat is the effect6 because there is no
breaking up of e8ents ith regar! to that%$ Su!arshan stoppe!%
=hen !oes that take place5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
=hen the syste( has no i!eal to co(pare itself ith6$ sai! Su!arshan%
=hich (eans hat5$ 'rishna:i as pushing%
=e refer to it as a close! syste(6 but e (ean it (ay be a co(plete syste(6$
sai! Su!arshan%
,n all syste(sHbureaucratic6 scientific6 religiousHis there inherent !ecay6
entropy5$ enCuire! 'rishna:i%
&es%$
So6 as long as the brain is collecti8e6 it for(s a syste(%$
Euite right%$
So6 inherently in the collecti8e is a process of !ecay6 !egeneration takes
place5$ enCuire! 'rishna:i%
'rishna:i6 , a( concerne! about your attention to the brain% #he brain is also
part of the physical syste( an! , !o not ha8e to pay that (uch (ore attention to
(y brain than , !o to trees or to bir!s6$ sai! 1r% Su!arshan%
@o6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
So(eti(es , use the(6 but then so(eti(es , use the tree also% So6 hy
shoul! , feel so attache! to hat happens in (y brainHthought a8es an! the
functioning of the 8arious interconnections an! so on5 Shoul! , be too concerne!
about hat the brain is !oing5$ aske! Su!arshan%
As long as (y brain is con!itione!6 the brain beco(es 8ery li(ite!% #he
brain has an infinite capacity6 an! that capacity is being !enie! by its on
li(itation% &ou are a scientist an! , a( not% &ou ha8e acCuire! tre(en!ous
knole!ge an! ha8e occasional insights into so(ething% &ou keep (o8ing6
a!!ing% #his a!!ition is the factor of con!itioning% -b8iously% An! therefore the
brain beco(es li(ite! an! that a!!ition is the self% =e on>t go into !ifferent
ter(inologies% As long as the self is there6 the self is a syste(6 an! the self is a
factor of !eterioration6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
#hat is hat e call the self ith a little Os> rather than the big OS6> $ sai!
Su!arshan%
#he self is self6 not the big OS> or s(all Os%> , a( using it only in one conteBt6
the s(all Os%> 7or (e6 there is no big OS6> $ 'rishna:i sai!%
;oing back to hat Pupul:i sai!6 Sir6 you sai! that attention has no
backgroun!6$ pro(pte! ?a!ha:i%
/ere is a scientist% =hat is attention to you6 Sir5 Be si(ple%$ 'rishna:i
turne! to Su!arshan%
=ell6 , oul! say attention is hen there is no separation6 hen there is no
i!entification of anything elseG inclu!ing perception of any entity% Attention is
one6 in hich there are no anticipations an! there are no (e(ories%$
=hich (eans hat5 #here is no backgroun!5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
@o backgroun!% , feel that that is the si(plest state(ent% ,n attention there is
no backgroun! because backgroun! assu(es a (atriB6 an i!eal% ,n attention there
is no co(parison% Attention is one ithout the secon!6$ sai! Su!arshan%
=hen there is attention6 there is no backgroun!% =e ere !iscussing ti(e% ,
say lo8e has no ti(e% 4o8e has no re(iniscences% 4o8e is not the acti8ity of
!esire or pleasure% #he acti8ity of !esire an! pleasure in8ol8es ti(e% 4o8e has no
ti(e6$ 'rishna:i spoke%
#his is a (ighty leap6$ , co((ente!%
,t is a Brahmastra% ,t is a eapon hich annihilates e8erything6$ "pa!hyaya
co((ente!%
But 'rishna:i oul! not accept this state(ent% ,t is approachable6$ he sai!%
, !on>t put so(ething on a pinnacle an! then say it is unapproachable%$
/as lo8e an arising an! an en!ing5$ aske! the Pan!it%
@o% ,f there is an arising an! en!ing6 it is not lo8e%$
#hen it is beyon! !iscussion6$ sai! "pa!hyaya:i%
=hat is a !ialogue5 A !ialogue isHyou Cuestion an! , anserG so6 you an! ,
are forgotten% =e !on>t eBist% -nly the Cuestion re(ains% An! if you lea8e the
Cuestion6 it floers6 it has 8itality6 it pro8i!es an anser6$ 'rishna:i spoke% /as
Pan!it:i un!erstoo! (y anser5$
/e accepts hat you sayHthat there is a Cuestion an! an anser flos6 but
he says6 O=hat has this to !o ith lo8e5> $ ?a!ha Burnier spoke%
, (ake a state(entHO=here lo8e is6 ti(e is not%> &ou listen6 you Cuestion it6
an! , reply% #here is a connection6 both 8erbal an! non*8erbal6 an! the Cuestion
re(ains6 the fact re(ains% ,f you let it re(ain6 it begins to (o8e%$
&ou say lo8e has no ti(e6$ , aske!%
See the beauty of it%$
,t is a fine Cuestion an! no response arises to it6 but there is still the
Cuestion6$ , sai!%
#hen re(ain ith that% Pupul6 take a lotus6 look at it%$
, look%$
#here as a long pause% #hen ?a!ha Burnier turne! to Jagannath "pa!hyaya
an! sai!6 ,n looking there is no Cuestion%$
, !on>t kno ho to respon! to 'rishna:i>s Cuestion%$ Sensing a certain
barrenness in the !ialectics6 'rishna:i su!!enly !roppe! the !iscussion an! took
one of his great leaps% 1eath has no ti(e%$
-ut of kin!ness for us6 coul! you (ake these leaps a little shorter5 Because
alrea!y Pan!it:i is saying that he is fin!ing it !ifficult to respon! to your
state(ent6 hich he (ay co(pletely agree ith6 i!entify ith% /o !o e relate
this particular state(ent to the Cuestion of Obeing6 beco(ing>5$ Su!arshan
inter8ene!%
,t see(s to (e that before e (o8e to !eath6 let us talk about lo8e6 an! its
relation to the Cuestion6$ Su!arshan continue!% &ou ha8e pre8iously sai! that
hen there is a !ialogue beteen to or (any people6 an! the purpose is actually
in the !ialogue6 the persons cease an! the Cuestion re(ains an! it (o8es aroun!6
it speaks through 8arious people an! its on 8itality functions% , think Pan!it:i is
saying that he !oes not kno ho to respon!6 not because he !isagrees ith you
Hnot that hat you say is a Brahmastra6 the ulti(ate eapon hich !estroys
e8erything inclu!ing the launching pa!Hbut ho is he to respon! to your earlier
Cuestion that the !ialogue has a 8itality of its on5$
/a8e you un!erstoo! it5$ 'rishna:i aske! Su!arshan%
&es%$
#hen eBplain it to Pan!it:i6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
, think 'rishna:i is saying that the purpose of the !ialogue is not for a person
to ask Cuestions an! for the other person to anser6 but for the Cuestion an!
anser to co(e aroun!6 an! in a sense (o8e by itself beteen people% So it is not
one person gi8ing infor(ation to another person6 but it is a case of the Cuestion
itself ansering itself6 using people>s 8oices as the instru(ent% But e ha8e
alays the feeling that it (ust be in ter(s of a catechis(Ha Cuestion an!
anser% 'rishna:i is saying that if there is a ti(e hen the Cuestion ceases6 that
too is a 8ery 8aluable ti(e6 that too is in fact 8ery natural% ,n a sense6 hat it
shos is an i(age6 an echo of hat he as talking about earlierHna(ely6 is
there a being at this point or is there a beco(ing or is there so(ething hich is
other than the to5 4ooke! at fro( one point6 there is beingG looke! at fro(
another point6 hen all Cuestions cease6 then ho is there to ask any Cuestion6
ho is there to un!erstan!5 #hat hol!ing the Cuestion6 or hol!ing the anser if
there is no Cuestion6 is itself in a sense a !ialogue% ,t is a (e!itation in hich no
or!s are spoken because it is yato vaa&ho nivartant"6 a state here or!s !o
not reach%$
&es% So6 let us talk about !eath% =hat6 accor!ing to the Bu!!hists6 to
@agar:una6 is !eath5$ 'rishna:i spoke%
By hate8er cause life ca(e into being6 by the sa(e cause life co(es to an
en!G that is !eath6$ sai! the Bu!!hist%
, eBist because (y father an! (y (other (et6 an! , as born% , li8e eighty*
nine years or one hun!re! years% At the en! of one hun!re! years6 , !ie% #here is
a causation an! the en! of causation% ?ight5 ,s that hat you call !eath5$
'rishna:i aske!%
#his causation is not at the le8el of things6 that is6 at the biological le8elG but
it is at the (e(ory le8el6 at the thought le8el% @agar:una says in that (o8e(ent is
past6 present an! future%$
,f you say that past an! present contain the Ono6> that no is !eath%
Beco(ing an! !ying% ,s that !eath5$ aske! 'rishna:i%
&es6$ sai! Jagannath "pa!hyaya%
#hat is logical6$ 'rishna:i sai!%
&es6 logical%$
'rishna:i continue!6 ,t is an intellectual concept%$
&es%$
#hat !oesn>t interest (e6$ sai! '6 , a( !ying%$
At e8ery (o(ent there is an en!ingG each (o(ent is separate% #here is a
!eath all the ti(e6$ sai! "pa!hyaya:i%
But , ha8e a son ho is !ying an! , a( in sorro6 , she! tears% , a( lonely6
!epresse!% &ou co(e along an! speak of causation% But , a( in pain% =hat are
you going to !o about it5$
=hate8er co(es into being en!s fro( (o(ent to (o(ent6$ "pa!hyaya:i
sai!%
, ha8e hear! all that before6$ sai! 'rishna:i% But , a( in sorro%$
But hat connects the (o(ents together is (e(ory6$ sai! "pa!hyaya:i%
All right% , co(e to you an! you eBplain that% , say6 O;o to hell%> $
, inter8ene!% Jagannath "pa!hyaya says that none of the Bu!!hist teachings
ha8e !ealt ith !eath6 eBcept as a rising an! en!ing%$
'rishna:i sai!6 , as ith a (an6 Sir6 so(e years ago% /e as !ying% /is
ife ca(e an! sai!6 O/e is asking for you%> , ent to hi(6 sat neBt to hi(6 an!
hel! his han!% An! he sai!6 O, a( !ying6 !on>t preach philosophy to (e% , a(
!ying6 an! , !on>t ant to !ie% , ha8e li8e! a fairly goo! life6 a fairly (oral life6 ,
ha8e got (y fa(ily6 (y (e(ories6 all the things that , ha8e accu(ulate!6 an! ,
!on>t ant to !ie% But , a( !ying%> =hat is your anser to that5 1on>t co(e to
(e ith your Obeginning an! en!ing%> $
#he anser is6 he has to !ie6$ sai! "pa!hyaya:i%
-h6 ;o!Q$ crie! 'rishna:i% ,s that hat you say to your son6 to your ife6 to
your husban!5 O/e has to !ie>5 -f course he has to !ie% /e has got cancer6 he has
got tuberculosis6 a !isease% /e is Cuite young6 an! he says6 O3y go!6 help (e to
un!erstan!%> $
But !eath is part of life6$ sai! Pan!it:i%
Pan!it:i6 are you saying there is no en!ing to sorro5$ , trie! to clarify the
position%
"nless the cause of sorro is eli(inate!6 it cannot en!6$ sai! the Bu!!hist
Pan!it%
But the (an ho is !ying hasn>t eli(inate! it% &ou ha8e to !eal ith this
(an ho is !ying% @obo!y has hel! his han!% So , hol! his han! an! he has the
feeling that there is lo8e% , !o not talk to hi( about a beginning or en!ing6$ sai!
'rishna:i%
=hat is the !ifficulty here5 /e (ay !ie or not !ie% /e ill !ie so(eti(e%
But e are !ying at this (o(ent6 e are !ying to this feeling% =e are in sorro6
there is no Cuestion of that% #he Cuestion is not hether our brother is !ying% ,t is
e ho are in sorro6 an! e are asking for help6 for support% /e ants
consolation% But , a( not gi8ing hi( a thing% =e cannot gi8e hi( life% /e ho is
!ying is not !ying outsi!e of hi(self6 he is !ying ithin hi(self an! it is his
proble(%
,s the Cuestion ho you !eal ith that person5$ Su!arshan enCuire!%
@o6$ sai! 'rishna:i6 it is ho you !eal ith !eath%$
,n the process there are to things% -ne is (y feeling that (y frien! is !ying
an! that he is afrai!6 he is unhappy an! unilling to !ie% #he other is hat can ,
!o to gi8e hi( help at this point% =hich of the to aspects are e !iscussing5$
'rishna:i replie!6 Both% , ant to kno about !eath% , a( going to !ie% ,>ll be
eighty*nine in 3ayHprobably , ill li8e another ten years% , a( not frightene!% ,
!on>t ant anybo!y>s help% , ha8e li8e! ith !eath an! life together6 all the ti(e6
all (y life% Because , !on>t on anything6 , !on>t possess anything inar!ly% ,
a( !ying an! li8ing at the sa(e ti(e% #here is no separation for (e% , (ay be
li8ing in illusion6 but take it as it is%
But (y frien! is !ying% @obo!y has lo8e! hi( an! he has lo8e! nobo!y%
=hat the Bu!!ha sai!6 !oes that help5 /e ants so(ebo!y to lo8e hi(6 be ith
hi(% So(ebo!y ho says O4ook6 e are together in this% &ou are lonely an! hat
!oes it (ean hen !eath co(es5> , see hi( utterly lonely6 separate! fro(
anybo!y else% An! there is !rea!ful fear% An! you co(e an! speak of beginning6
en!ing% , say6 for ;o!>s sakeQ$
,f , lo8e6 can , gi8e it to hi(5 ,s it so(ething hich can be gi8en5$ aske!
Jagannath "pa!hyaya%
@o6$ sai! 'rishna:i6 he is ith (e6 not that , gi8e hi( lo8e% ,t is not
so(ething , gi8e%$
Because he is ill an! is going to !ie6 an! he !oes not ant to !ie6 ho !o e
gi8e hi( lo8e5 4o8e cannot transcen! causationG it cannot be outsi!e cause an!
effect% /oe8er great or !eep co(passion (ay be6 it cannot be in!epen!ent of
causation6$ sai! "pa!hyaya%
Sir6$ sai! '6 he is not intereste! in your philosophy% /e is not intereste! in
hat the Bu!!ha sai!% /e is !ying% 1on>t tell hi( of beginning6 arising6 an!
en!ing% /e is not intereste! in that% =e go to the !ying ith a lot of or!s an!
these or!s are like ashes to hi(6 inclu!ing Bu!!ha>s or!s% /e is !ying an!
says6 O3y ;o!Q =hat of (y life5 1on>t talk to (e about all this%> Can one co(e
ith nothing an! hol! his han!5 Can one say6 O3y frien!6 hen you !ie6 a part of
(e is also !ying% , ha8e ne8er (et you before% But your ife ca(e to see (e an!
she aske! (e to 8isit you% So6 e both are going to !ie to!ay% , kno hat it
(eans to !ie% , ha8e li8e! (y life !ying an! li8ing6 ne8er separating the to%
Aach !ay , !ie%> So , say to (y frien!6 O4et us !ie% , un!erstan! your fear%> #hen
!eath is not fear%$
CHAPTER 46
#he 4ineage of
Co(passion$
,n April 198+ , as in Arya Fihara in -:ai% #he book of (e(oirs as nearing
co(pletion6 but hat of the en!ing5 #he ri8er as in full floo!% =as it possible
to !istill the essence of the teaching5 At ti(es it appeare! so luci!6 clear6 si(ple6
an! then so !istant6 i((ense6 uni8ersal that it !efie! a unifie! perception of it% ,
sought clarity6 the key to the en!ing% At Pine Cottage on April .8 , (et 'rishna:i%
/is hair as hite6 ti(e ha! left its (ark on the face6 but the eyes that (irrore!
(ine ere of the boy 'rishna(urti in the photograph taken after his first
initiationG eyes that ere li(pi!6 untouche!6 eyes that ha! ne8er looke! back in
ti(e%
, aske! hi( hat as the su((ation of his teaching5 #o (e it as 8ast% ,t
integrate! an! inclu!e! the teachings of the Bu!!ha an! Fe!anta% /e coul!
negate the super*At(an6 the Brah(an6 but in the 8ery negation6 he e(anate! an
energy hich those or!s con8eye!% #hat le! (e to the often*aske! Cuestion6
=ho is 'rishna(urti5 =hat is his lineage5$ =as he a breakthrough in
e8olution5 ,t oul! take centuries to co(prehen! the challenge 'rishna(urti ha!
pose! to the hu(an brainHto the root of the hu(an (in!%
Su!!enly 'rishna:i caught (y han!% 'eep itHkeep the challengeHork
ith itHforget the person%$ /is touch as charge! ith the strength of nature6 as
foun! in stor(s in oceans% 4ook hat religions ha8e !one2 concentrate! on the
teacher an! forgotten the teaching% =hy !o e gi8e such i(portance to the
person of the teacher5 #he teacher (ay be necessary to (anifest the teaching6 but
beyon! that6 hat5 #he 8ase contains aterG you ha8e to !rink the ater6 not
orship the 8ase% /u(anity orships the 8ase6 forgets the ater%$
3y bo!y6 (in! respon!e!% A8en to start real enCuiry into the teaching is a
breakthrough in consciousness%$
&es6 that is so6$ 'rishna:i sai!% #he hu(an ten!ency is to center e8erything
aroun! the person of the teacherHnot on the essence of hat he says6 but the
person% #hat is the great corruption% 4ook at the great teachers of the orl!H
3oha((e!6 Christ6 an! the Bu!!ha too% 4ook hat their folloers ha8e (a!e of
it5 Bu!!hist (onks are 8iolent6 they kill% Contrary to all that the Bu!!ha ha!
sai!%
#he (anifestation has to take place6 through a hu(an bo!y6 naturallyHthe
(anifestation is not the teaching% =e (ust be eBtraor!inarily i(personal about
all this% #o see that e !o not pro:ect the teacher because of one>s lo8e an!
affection for the person6 an! forget the teaching% See the truth in the teaching6 the
!epth in it6 go into it6 li8e it6 that is hat is i(portant% 1oes it (atter5$ 'rishna:i
aske!6 ,f the orl! says of '6 hat a on!erful person he isHho cares5 ,f '
is a breakthrough6 the or! is not his (easure% #he or! is not i(portant% ,f ,
ere li8ing in the ti(e of the Bu!!ha6 , (ay be attracte! to hi( as a hu(an
being6 , (ay ha8e great affection for hi(6 but , oul! be far (ore concerne!
ith hat he says% 4ook Pupul:i6 our brains ha8e beco(e so s(all by the or!s
e ha8e use!% =hen one speaks to a group of scientists6 specialists in 8arious
!isciplinesHone sees that their li8es ha8e beco(e so s(all% #hey are (easuring
e8erything in ter(s of or!s6 eBperiences% An! it is not a (atter of or! or
eBperience% =or!s are li(ite!G all eBperiences are li(ite!% #hey co8er a 8ery
s(all area%$
/e as hesitant% 4et us start ane% #he self is a bun!le of (e(ories% #he
self is the essence of knole!ge% 'nole!ge is alays in the fiel! of ti(e% ' is
saying that the self is inherite! an! accu(ulate! (e(ory% =hen the self is not6
ti(e is not% Anergy has no past% But (an has e(phasiDe! the past% =hen there is
that energy6 not boun! by the self6 energy has no ti(e% ,t is energy%$
But in all (anifestation6 is a ti(e not born6 li(ite! to that (anifestation5$ ,
aske!%
&es% 3anifestation nee!s ti(e% #herefore6 ha8ing (anifeste! as a floer or a
tree6 as a hu(an being6 that energy is li(ite!% =hen the self is not6 it is a state
totally out of ti(e% , a( Cuestioning hether the e8olution of the brain is to
continue as it is no6 (o!ifying6 groing6 gathering6 (ore an! (ore knole!ge5
, see so(ething 8ery interesting% 3e!itation as it is knon is practice6 !iscipline6
recitation of (antras% ,t is base! on knole!ge% So it is a 8ery s(all affair% ,s
there a (e!itation that is not base! on knole!ge6 not !eliberate5 So long as
consciousness eBists6 consciousness (ust (ean (anifestation% #here (ust be
ti(e% #herefore this (e!itation can only be hen consciousness6 as e kno it6
en!s%
7or the last year6 there is a state6 not (easurable by or!s6 not in the fiel! of
knole!ge6 i((ense6 totally out of ti(e% ,t is there6 hen , close (y eyes to !o
(y eBercises6 hen , go for a alk% , atch6 , a( skeptical to see hether it is
fanciful or reality%$
'rishna:i ha! (o8e! out an! as free of the !iscussionG a ne state as
e8i!ent%
#hat (ust be totally altering the nature of the brain6$ , co((ente!%
Probably it !oes%$
Can it touch the brain of hu(anity5$
&es6 yes%$ 'rishna:i>s 8oice as floing6 !eep an! co(passionate% #hen
su!!enly he aske! (e6 Pupul:i6 you ha8e rea! the ancient teBts6 you ha8e
!iscusse! ith pan!its6 hat !o you contact5$
, let the Cuestion floatG then6 hesitantly6 , spoke% &ou see6 'rishna:i6 , ha8e
rea! the ancient teBts6 but , bring to the teBts the listening hich has co(e
through listening to you% , so listen to the teBts6 an! because there is that state6 ,
can touch so(ething6 get close to it%$
=hy%$ 'rishna:i spokeHit as not a Cuestion6 but a ay of (o8ing (e into
the :ourney%
Because touching Othat> !oes not lie in the or!% &ou speak an! the (in!6
because it is Cuiet6 feels close to Othat%> @o hen , rea! the ancient teBts an! the
(in! is Cuiet6 or hen , sit alone in the gar!en an! hear bir!s sing6 or the touch
of the in!6 , (ay feel a closeness to Othat%> $
1oes the person of ' beco(e i(portant5$
@o% #he energy e(anating6 certainly is i(portant% &ou !ra us in6 the
(o(ent the (in! is Cuiet% , a( beginning to see so(ething6 the energy in this
(in!6 as it is6 is not capable of touching Othat%> ,t can go so far an! no further%
#his also , un!erstan!6 to allo the self as little space as possible%$
&es6$ 'rishna:i laughe!% Allo it as little play as possible%$
, see that there is 8ery little of the personal 'rishna(urti left%$
&es%$
&ou feel it6 the (o(ent you touch the gateays of your (in!G the groun! is
saturate! ith Othat%> $
&es%$
,n the last year or so6 you ha8e trie!Hno6 Otrie!> is not the right or!Hto
bring people closer an! closer to Othat%> $ , pause!% But then there is the
blockage of e8olution that is kar(a%$
As you so6 so shall you reap6$ 'rishna:i laughe! again%
'ar(a6 hich is the essence of hat you ere6 so you are an! so you ill
be% , see also that one has to let thought flo6 let it be 8ery flui!6 not let it
crystaliDe% -ne has to uproot thought6 unearth it%$
"proot it6 that is right%$
So that it sits lightly in the (in!%$
Just a (inute%$ ' interrupte! (y flo% /o oul! you co((unicate hat
you are saying to fifty people6 or fi8e thousan!5$
#he key to co((unication is obser8ation% @othing else is nee!e!%$
/o !o you anser6 ho is the obser8er5$
#he only anser is to obser8e% #o be open6 to !isco8er% /o eBtraor!inary is
this :ourney of !isco8ery6 the insights into the en!less%$
As , left the roo(6 the Cuestion again arose in (y (in!2 =ho is
'rishna(urti5 =hat is his gotra6 his lineage5 -ut of the Cuestion6 the anser
arose2 All hu(ankin!% Because in e8ery hu(an being is the capacity to break
through bon!ageG to be in the lineage of i(personal co(passion%
4ater , aske! hi( of the nature of the or! samadhi% /e sai!6 #he brain is
silent throughout the !ayG a or! is sai! an! the brain sees instantly the hole
content of it% #he brain !oes not accu(ulate% =hat arises is full% #here is no
(o8e(ent ithin the brain as ti(e6 but there is an infinite (o8e(ent6 the rhyth(
of the brain% #here is a sense of ti(eless6 eternal protection%$
-n 3ay 116 198)6 'rishna:i turne! ninety years ol!% #hat !ay , as ith hi(
at Arya Fihara in -:ai6 an! in the (orning , knocke! at the !oor of his roo(
o8erlooking the pepper tree6 here siBty*three years earlier he ha! un!ergone his
(ysterious transfor(ations% At (y knock 'rishna:i opene! the !oor% , bent to
touch his feetG but he laughe! an! e(brace! (e instea!% @othing special
happene! that !ay% /e as ninety an! another !ay passe!%
CHAPTER 47
@o Beginning6 @o An!$2
'rishna(urti at @inety
,n the Bhagavad :ita Ar:una asks 'rishna of the nature of the Stea!fast6
illu(ine! Being% /o !oes he alk6 ho !oes he talk6 ho !oes he con!uct
hi(self5$
#he sa(e Cuestion is aske! by (any people ho ha8e seen an! hear!
'rishna:i speak% #his chapter perhaps pro8i!es so(e ansers to the Cuestion6 an!
yet it re(ains an inco(plete anser6 for the (ystery of 'rishna(urti re(ains
unfatho(e!%
At ninety6 'rishna(urti>s !ay is little !ifferent than it has been for forty
years% ,n ,n!ia he aakes at sunrise6 lies in be!6 e8ery sense of the bo!y aake6
but ithout a single thought arising until there is a co(ing to6 fro( 8ast
!istances% /e starts the (orning ith yogic asanas an! pranayam% 7or thirty*fi8e
(inutes he !oes his pranayams6 his breathing eBercises6 an! forty*fi8e (inutes
are spent on yoga asanas6 the physical stancesHtoning the bo!y6 the ner8es6 the
(uscles an! the cells that for( the skin tissue6 the opening of e8ery cell of the
bo!y so that it breathes naturally an! in har(ony%
At eight o>clock 'rishna(urti has a breakfast of fruit6 toast6 butter6 an! hole
heat% /is breakfast so(eti(es inclu!es South ,n!ian idis or dosas6 stea(e!
rice cakes ith coconut chutney% At the breakfast table in ,n!ia his close
associates gather to !iscuss e!ucation an! the schools6 consciousness6 the see! of
!isintegration in (an6 co(puters6 an! the role of artificial intelligence% /e asks
for nes of the international orl! an! of ,n!ia% #he state of the country is freely
!iscusse!G the 8iolence6 the corruption6 the !ecay of 8aluesG the future of (an or
the (utation of the hu(an (in!% A8ery proble( is raise! an! probe!G e8eryone
participatesG a sense of or!er an! Cuiet per8a!es e8en the !iscussions%
/e is Cuite chil!like in his attitu!e to situations6 especially politicalG but a
supre(e gra8ity is e8i!ent in his concern ith the psyche or the spaces ithin the
(in!% /e freCuently pauses6 letting the (in! rest ith Cuestions6 respon!ing ith
passion an! !ignity%
=hen he is to hol! his (orning !ialogues6 the breakfast session is short% =e
!isperse to (eet again at 920<6 hen the s(all group gathers to participate in the
!ialogues% #he !iscussions continue until ele8en6 after hich in!i8i!uals ith
special proble(s or sorros can speak to hi(% At ti(es he takes the( into his
roo( for a fe (inutes% =hen there are no group !iscussions6 his talks ith his
associates continue for to or three hours% =e !iscuss !eath6 the nature of ;o!6
the proble( of the obser8er an! the obser8e!% So(e of the (ost intense insights
ha8e been re8eale! at these sessions%
Aroun! ele8en*thirty he goes to his roo( an! lies !on for half an hour ith
the -&onomist6 Tim"6 or 3"wsw""k6 picture books of trees6 (ountains6 bir!s6 or
ani(als6 or a (ystery no8el% /e rarely rea!s serious books6 but is 8ery ell
infor(e! on the state of the orl!6 on a!8ances in science an! technology6 an!
the !egenerating processes corro!ing (an% At noon he has an oil (assage an! a
8ery hot bath% 4unch is at one o>clock% /e eats ,n!ian foo!6 but nothing frie!6 an!
8ery fe seets% /e likes hot pickles an! per(its hi(self tiny portions% Again at
lunchti(e there are !iscussions6 an! guests are often in8ite!%
#he con8ersation 8aries fro( international affairs to scientific !isco8eries6
ar6 nuclear !isar(a(ent an! its insoluble proble(s% 'rishna:i has an intense
curiosity an! Cuestions !eeply% @e !isco8eries in science fascinate hi(% At
ti(es he is prophetic an! feels into the future% /is state(ents are far ahea! of his
ti(e% /e has insights into the significance of orl! e8ents an! can relate the( to
a global totality% /e often asks 8isitors6 =hat is happening in the country5 =hy
has it lost all creati8ity5$ @o anser satisfies hi(% #he serious in!i8i!ual is (a!e
to hol! this i(possible Cuestion ithin an! so be aake to its inti(ations% #he
Cuestion of !egeneration in the inner processes has to be aske! an! the (in!
(ust re(ain ith the proble(6 pon!er on it%
/is span of attention is for(i!able% /e once sai! to (e that so(e Cuestions
ha8e to be hel! in the (in! for eternity%
At lunch 'rishna(urti continues the Cuestion he has !iscusse! o8er the
breakfast table6 an! so(eti(es he tells storiesHanec!otes of his encounters ith
il! ani(als6 or stories of St% Peter an! hea8en an! hell6 ?ussia an! the
co((issars6 hich he repeats ith eloCuence6 Dest6 an! goo! hu(or% /e is
co(pletely ithout (alice% =ith strangers he is shy6 an! so(eone else has to fill
in akar! silences%
7or years he sa 8ast nu(bers of people% $annyasis6 Bu!!hist (onks6
siddhas6 an!ering yogis con8erge on hi(6 seeking ansers or solace% /e ne8er
refuses to see the(% #he saffron or ochre robe of the ascetic e8okes !eep
co(passion ithin hi(% ,n the early 199<s to Jain (onks ha! starte! 8isiting
hi( e8ery year% #heir appoint(ent ha! to be fiBe! a year ahea!6 ith the eBact
!ate6 ti(e6 an! place% 7or !uring the Chaturmas6 the four (onths of the
(onsoons6 the (onks reste! an! all an!ering cease!% After the four (onths
ere o8er6 the to (onks oul! start their pilgri(age to (eet 'rishna:i6
so(eti(es alking se8en hun!re! (iles to be in Bo(bay on the appointe! !ay%
-ne of the (onks ha! leuke(ia6 the other as 8ery young an! ha! beautiful
eyes% #hey tie! hite cotton (asks aroun! their (ouths6 to ensure that e8en
hile breathing they !i! not har( an insect% #hey coul! not speak Anglish6 an! ,
ha! to translate hat as sai!% , sat on the !oor sill6 hile they share! a (at ith
'rishna:iG for by (onastic or!inance they ere not per(itte! to sit on the sa(e
(at as a o(an% #hey ere passionate in their Cueries% &oung6 they ha! harshly
!enie! their bo!ies6 an! the pro(ise! liberation as not forthco(ing% 'rishna:i
as 8ery gentle ith the( an! long !iscussions took place% -ne year6 these
hite*cla! (onks !i! not appear for their appoint(ent% ,t is !ifficult to say hat
happene!% Perhaps the hea! of their or!er6 sensing a rebellion against authority6
ha! refuse! the( per(ission to hol! their (eetings ith 'rishna:i%
After lunch 'rishna:i rests% At about four he starts seeing people again% A
o(an going blin! co(es6 an! he places his han!s on her eyes% A 8isitor ho
has lost a chil! sits ith hi(6 an! he hol!s her han! an! sy(bolically ipes her
tears6 healing her inar!lyG a young (an6 beil!ere!6 lost in this 8iolent orl!6
seeks ansers%
Beginning in the late 199<s he sa feer people6 but at ninety he is again
a8ailable to those ho seek hi( outG he ne8er closes his !oors on anyoneHthe
young (an ith hallucinations6 in co((unication ith satellitesG the o(an in
sorroG the a!olescentG the ol!G the blin!% /e is ne8er too busy or too tire!%
/is na(e an! teachings are knon throughout the country6 a(ongst ashrams
in the /i(alayas as (uch as a(ongst aca!e(ics% #he Bu!!hists in ,n!ia still
speak of hi( as a great teacher in the @agar:una tra!itionG the /in!u gurus an!
sadhus speak of hi( as a great liberate! being in the A!8aita or non!ual
tra!ition% #hey accept hi( as a (ost profoun! teacher of the age%
=hen the sun is about to set6 he goes for a alk% At ninety his stri!es are
long6 his bo!y still erect an! straight% /is close frien!s6 their chil!ren an!
gran!chil!ren alk ith hi(% So(eti(es he hol!s the han! of a little chil! an!
alks an! laughs ith her% /e alks three (iles6 breathing in the earth6 the trees6
listening to !istant soun!s% #here is 8ery little con8ersation% At ti(es he prefers
to be alone6 his (in! far aay% /e has sai! that not a single thought touches his
(in! !uring these alks%
At ho(e again he ashes6 an! !oes so(e (ore pranayam% /e eats a light
supperHsala!6 fruit6 nuts6 soup6 8egetables% -n rare occasions he sits o8er the
!inner table ith a fe frien!s an! hints of an eternity that lies beyon! the (in!%
#he han!s assu(e the role of the teacher% /is 8oice changes6 fills ith poer an!
ith 8olu(es of energyG silences seep into the roo(%
A ri8er of Cuietu!e flos ithin hi(% /is (in! ne8er crystaliDes% /e is
prepare! to listen to any criticis(% , re(e(ber one !ay in 1998 in Colo(bo hen
he an! , ere staying in the sa(e house% /e ha! been restless% , sai! to hi(6 Sir6
you are agitate!%$ /e !i! not anser (e% =e starte! !iscussing so(ething else%
,n the e8ening at supper6 he turne! to (e an! sai!6 &ou sai! , as agitate!% #his
afternoon , took the Cuestion to be! ith (e% , aske! (yself6 OA( , agitate!5 ,s it
because of !epen!ence5> An! su!!enly , sa it% #o seek an anser is to gi8e
agitation root in the soil of the (in!G an! it as o8er% , ill not be agitate! again%
, ha8e been atching an! listening to e8erything6 to (y bo!y6 (y (in!6 to root
out any trace of agitation%$
/e is open to all challenges% /e ne8er stops obser8ing6 listening6 Cuestioning%
'rishna:i>s (in! hol!s fe sy(bols6 yet he has a close personal i!entity ith
ri8ers% ,n 19616 speaking in Bo(bay6 he !escribe! the ;anga2 ,t (ay ha8e a
beginning an! an en!% But the beginning is not the ri8er6 the en! is not the ri8er%
#he ri8er is the flo beteen% ,t passes through 8illages an! tons6 e8erything is
!ran into it% ,t is pollute!6 filth an! seage are thron into it6 a fe (iles later
it has purifie! itself% ,t is the ri8er in hich e8erything li8es6 the fish belo an!
the (an ho !rinks the ater on top% #hat is ri8er% Behin! it is that tre(en!ous
pressure of ater6 an! it is this self*purificatory process that is the ri8er% #he
innocent (in! is like that ri8er% ,t has no beginning6 no en!Hno ti(e%$
/e astes no energy hen he alks6 talks6 or orks at so(e inconseCuential
occupationHpolishing shoes6 picking up a stone an! re(o8ing it fro( the
pathay% As he gros ol!6 the tre(ors in his han!s ha8e increase!6 the highly
sensiti8e bo!y>s response to the orl! of noise an! pollution% /e has often
suffere! fro( (ysterious illnesses% /e beco(es !elirious6 his 8oice changes6 he
so(eti(es beco(es as a young chil!6 he asks strange Cuestions6 faints easily6
particularly hen he is near to people he can trustG he often cures hi(self%
/is relationship ith nature6 trees6 rocks6 an! the earth has special
significanceG he has the ability to enter into spaces ithin nature6 to feel life
(o8e% 4ately he has starte! to speak of the soun! that re8erberates ithin a tree6
hen all outer soun! en!s%
Ani(als an! bir!s trust hi(% , ha8e seen hi( sit alone in a gar!en throing
parche! rice on the grassG bir!s pick the rice ithin a fe inches of his bo!y6 an!
so(e alight on his shoul!er% 1escribing hi(self6 he (isCuotes Broning2 shy
like a sCuirrel6 ayar! like a sallo%$
By ten*thirty he is asleep% Just before he falls asleep the hole !ay an! his
actions pass siftly through his (in!G in a flash the !ay an! its e8ents an! all the
yester!ays are Cuenche!% ,n sleep 'rishna:i>s bo!y6 like a bir!6 fol!s in on itself%
/e !oes not like to be oken up su!!enly% /e says he 8ery rarely !rea(s% =hen
he arises there is barely a rinkle on the sheet%
/e is prepare! to try all kin!s of herbal an! Ayur8e!ic re(e!iesG he shies
aay fro( any (o!ern !rugs% /e has fa!s about foo!G at ti(es he (iBes (ilk
an! orange :uice6 at other ti(es he gi8es up (ilkG at other ti(es he li8es on ra
foo!s% #hese foo! fa!s are s(ile! at by his frien!s% /e ne8er lets anyone touch
his feet% ,f anyone !oes so6 he hi(self ben!s an! touches the feet of the other%
At his public talks6 so(e of hich are atten!e! by about se8en thousan!
people6 he still ears a broa!6 re!*bor!ere! dhoti an! long6 honey*tone! robe%
'rishna:i alks to the !ais surroun!e! by people but untouche! by the(% As he
sits on the platfor(6 'rishna:i>s presence reaches out an! !ras his listeners
close to hi(%
/e begins to speak% #he back is erect6 the 8oice is clear6 per(itting e8ery
nuance to floer% #he face is untouche! by ti(e% /is han!s rest in his lapG
occasionally they (o8e6 assu(ing sy(bolic postures6 like floer bu!s opening
to light% 7or al(ost to hours the 8ast au!ience is silent6 ith har!ly any
(o8e(ent% =hen the talk is o8er 'rishna:i sits still for a (inute6 then fol!s his
han!s in pranams an! the cro!s surge toar!s hi(% /is bo!y tre(bles ith the
energy that has floe! through it% /e reaches out ith both his han!s an! allos
the( to be hel! by those that can reach hi(% Sloly he eBtricates hi(self%
'rishna:i gets !on fro( the platfor(% People press on the tiny passage
through hich he passesG they ben! to touch his feet6 he touches their faces to his
han!s% /e !oes not !ra aay his han!s6 but keeps the( eBten!e! on either si!e%
4ike a lion he alks6 sloly6 ith i((ense !ignity% #he eyes turn to (eet
hun!re!s of eyes surroun!ing hi(% A sta(pe!e see(s ine8itable6 but the silence
of his presence creates or!er% People (o8e back% /e alks alone% ,n the car6
hen his co(panions try to pull up the in!o6 he stops the(% /is ar(s reach
out through the in!os% All the ay to the gate6 (en an! o(en press on the
car6 touching his han!s6 putting the( to their eyes% A police(an6 seeing the
pressing cro!6 or!ers the( to (o8e% 'rishna:i stops hi(6 takes his han! an!
hol!s it% #he police(an flings asi!e his baton an! prostrates hi(self at
'rishna:i>s feet% 'rishna:i lifts hi( up an!6 still hol!ing his han!6 enters the car%
As the car (o8es6 the police(an runs ith it6 refusing to let go the han!%
Chil!ren ait at the flat on Pe!!ar ?oa! ith a garlan! of seet s(elling
intero8en :as(ine an! roses6 floral pearls6 rubies an! e(eral!s% /e takes it ith
grace6 ears it roun! his neck for so(e (o(ents before gi8ing it to the chil!ren
near hi(%
Staying ith hi( in close proBi(ity has alays been ar!uous% /e is ablaDe6
an! the bo!ies of his associates take a little ti(e to get use! to his presence% /e
so(eti(es Cuestions his frien!s6 !e(an!ing that they be attenti8e an! obser8e%
/e atches carefully hether they react strongly to people an! state(ents% ,t is
not possible for !eteriorating (in!s to linger roun! hi(Hone either (o8es or is
left behin!% Fast 8olu(es of energy floG one (ust be of it or ha8e no place%
/is bo!y is frail6 but his (in! ne8er slackens% /e has sai! that as he gros
8ery ol! a li(itless energy operates through hi(% #he urgency has increase!6 so
has the !ri8e% @othing see(s to tire hi(% /e pushes the bo!y6 alking faster6
testing hi(self6 so that (ost people half his age cannot keep up ith hi(% ,t is
only hen he is !oing nothing6 lying in be!6 that he looks frail an! age!% /is
han!s tre(ble6 his bo!y shrinks% But in !iscussion6 at breakfast or lunch6 on his
talks6 e8ery rinkle is ipe! aay% #he skin is translucent6 it appears ethereal6 lit
fro( ithin%
At ninety 'rishna:i continues to tra8el6 to speak6 to search for (in!s that are
aake an! capable of percei8ing ith clarity% Such perceptions6 floering
ithout sha!o6 transfor( the brain%
,n 198< 'rishna:i tol! (e that hen he stoppe! speaking6 the bo!y oul! !ie%
#he bo!y has only one purpose2 to re8eal the teaching%
Apilogue
But ho shall e bury you5$
Any ay you like6$ sai! Socrates6 that is if you can catch (e an! ,
!on>t slip through your fingers%$
HP/AA1-6 Th" +ast 'ays of $o&rat"s
#he story of 'rishna(urti has en!e!% -n 7ebruary 196 19866 at 1.21< A%3% Pacific
Stan!ar! #i(e6 he !ie! at Pine Cottage6 -:ai6 here he ha! been (ortally ill for
fi8e eeks ith cancer of the pancreas% /e !ie! in the roo( facing the pepper
tree6 un!er hich6 siBty*four years ago6 he un!erent 8ast transfor(ations of
consciousness%
/e as cre(ate! in Fentura6 California% /is ashes ere !i8i!e! into three
parts2 for -:ai6 ,n!ia6 an! Anglan!% ,n ,n!ia they ere consigne! to the ri8er
;anga2 (i!strea( at ?a:ghat6 FaranasiG at ;angotri6 the source of the ri8er in the
!eep /i(alayasG an! at A!yar beach in 3a!ras6 here they ere taken in a sli(
cata(aran o8er the turbulent a8es to be i((erse! in the ocean%
'rishna:i ha! sai! before his !eath that the bo!y after !eath as of no
i(portance% 4ike a log of oo!6 it ha! to be consu(e! by fire% , a( a si(ple
(an6$ he sai!6 an! like a si(ple (an shoul! be his ulti(ate :ourney% #here ere
to be no rituals after his !eath6 no prayer6 no fuss6 no great cere(onial
processions% @o (e(orials ere to be built o8er his ashes% "n!er no
circu(stances as the teacher to be !eifie!% #he teacher as uni(portantG only
the teaching as i(portant% ,t as the teaching that ha! to be protecte! fro(
!istortion an! corruption% #here is no place for hierarchy or authority in the
teachingG there is no successor an! no representati8e ho ill carry on these
teachings in (y na(e no or at any ti(e in the future%$ /oe8er6 he en:oine! on
his associates that the foun!ations that bore his na(e in ,n!ia6 the "nite! States6
an! Anglan! shoul! continue6 as shoul! the schools foun!e! un!er his gui!ance%
/is ashes ere brought by plane to 1elhi% , recei8e! the( at the foot of the
plane an! !ro8e straight back to (y ho(e% As e entere! the gate6 a su!!en
hea8y shoer of rain ith hail fell% ,t continue! to fall for a fe (inutes6 until
the urn ha! been place! un!er a banyan tree in the gar!en% #hen6 as su!!enly as it
ha! begun6 the rain stoppe!%
,t as in ?ouge(ont6 SitDerlan!6 in July 198) that the first inti(ations of
his approaching !eath arose ithin 'rishna:i% , ha! (et hi( at Brockoo! Park
late in Septe(ber% /e ha! aite! for (e in the little kitchen off the =est =ing of
the ol! house% /e sai! he ha! to tell (e so(ething 8ery serious% Since
SitDerlan!6 , kno hen , a( going to !ie% , kno the !ay an! the place6 but ,
ill not !isclose it to anyone%$ /e ent on to say6 #he (anifestation has starte!
to fa!e%$
, as stunne! an! sat silent%
/e arri8e! in @e 1elhi on -ctober .)6 here he as to rest for a fe !ays
before lea8ing for Faranasi% -n -ctober .9 he (et ?% Fenkatara(an6 the 8ice
presi!ent of ,n!ia an! a close frien!6 an! ?a:i8 ;an!hi6 first at lunch at the ho(e
of the 8ice presi!ent an! later at !inner at (y ho(e% #his as the first ti(e
'rishna:i ha! (et ith ?a:i8 since ,n!ira ;an!hi>s !eath the pre8ious year6 an!
there as a poignancy in the (eeting%
7ro( 1elhi 'rishna:i tra8ele! to Faranasi6 here a ca(p atten!e! by three
hun!re! people ha! been organiDe!% #he (onsoons ha! been bountiful an! there
ere signs of ne life sprouting on tree an! bushG brilliant yello*an!*green
(ustar! plants ha! starte! to appear on the ri8er bank% #he festi8al of 1iali as
celebrate! hile 'rishna:i as in resi!enceG thousan!s of oil la(ps ere lit at the
house here 'rishna:i !elt an! the ri8er as bright ith floating oil la(ps
flickering in the e8ening breeDe%
1
'rishna:i spoke to the gathering6 hel! !iscussions ith the pan!its of
Faranasi an! the scholars in the Fe!antic an! Bu!!hist tra!ition6 an! !iscusse!
the future of ?a:ghat ith the (e(bers of the 7oun!ation% Professor 'rishna6 a
teacher of physics at the Benares /in!u "ni8ersity6 ho( 'rishna:i ha! knon
for se8eral years6 agree! to gi8e up his :ob an! take charge as the ?ector of the
?a:ghat A!ucation Center% #o pilgri(s6 ?% "pasani an! 3ahesh SaBena6
alke! ith 'rishna:i as he circu(a(bulate! the lan!6 looke! an! s(ile! at
pilgri( an! peasant6 listene! to the pulse of this ancient city%
"pasani ha! li8e! for three !eca!es in ?a:ghat6 ten!ing the soilG his care an!
concern ha! brought hi( close to 'rishna:i an! 3ahesh SaBena6 the neco(er6
for(er hea! of the central police in 1elhi% Fulnerable an! passionate6 SaBena ha!
resigne! his :ob6 !onne! a robe6 an! beco(e a seeker% 7or se8eral years he li8e!
in the /i(alayas6 then starte! to an!er until he ca(e to ?a:ghat% /is presence
an! intensity sept hi( into 'rishna:i>s proBi(ity6 an! soon he too as to :oin
the 7oun!ation6 to beco(e its secretary%
7ro( ?a:ghat 'rishna:i tra8ele! to ?ishi Falley6 here he hel! !iscussions
ith e!ucators an! stu!ents% #he rains ha! been plentifulG the ari! soil ha!
aakene!6 the fiel!s ere green6 an! a 8ast nu(ber of saplings plante! by
chil!ren co8ere! the rocky hillsi!e%
/is alks ere beco(ing shorter an! he as losing eight at an alar(ing
rate% ;oing to his roo( one !ay6 ?a!hika hear! 'rishna:i chatting to a /oopoe
bir!2 &ou an! your chil!ren are certainly elco(e to co(e in here% But , can
assure you that you on>t like it% ,n a fe !ays ,>ll be gone6 the roo( ill be
locke!6 the in!os shut6 an! you ill not be able to get out%$ =hen she entere!
the roo( she sa the bir!6 fra(e! by the picture in!o6 sitting on the branch of
the spatho!ia tree6 its crest fanne! out6 listening to 'rishna:i6 ho lay on his be!
talking in (easure! tones% 'rishna:i sai! that the bir! like! the soun! of his
8oice6 an! ha! been sitting listening to hi( for so(e ti(e% Fery often hen s(all
groups of us sat on the carpet ith 'rishna:i in his roo(6 the bir! oul! soop
1
1iali6 the festi8al of lights6 is celebrate! on the !arkest night of the (onth6 four (onths after the
(onsoons are o8er an! the earth aakens to ne life% ,t heral!s the soing of see! an! is a celebration to
in8oke the presence of 4aks(i6 the go!!ess of prosperity% A8en the poorest 8illager lights a clay oil la(p
so that the go!!ess !oes not pass by his ho(e ithout entering it%
!on against the in!o6 peck at the glass pane6 an! generally (ake a racket%
'rishna:i oul! say6 /ere co(es (y frien!%$
/e cut short his stay in ?ishi Falley an! ca(e to Fasant Fihar in 3a!ras6
here he hel! three public talks% /ere too6 the rains ha! prece!e! hi(% #he
gar!en as lush an! hea8y yello blosso(s ha! appeare! on the tabubea
argentina6 blosso(ing out of season% 'rishna:i ha! a high te(perature6 but he
refuse! any (e!ical inter8ention an! continue! his talks% Fast cro!s atten!e!
the talks6 for it as clear that 'rishna:i as ill an! this (ight be his last 8isit% /e
spoke on !eath an! creation6 on that hich lies beyon! beginning an! en!ing%
#he i((ense energy that use! to floo! the bo!y an! the 8oice that oul!
re8erberate in the at(osphere as no in lo keyG the frail bo!y6 though ra!iant
an! erect6 tre(ble! as if unable to hol! the poer an! thrust of the energy
pouring through it% After the talk 'rishna:i aske! his au!ience to sit Cuietly an!
(e!itate ith hi(%
A chil! alke! up ith a hite cha(pak floer% /e turne! an! s(ile! as he
took it% #he chil! s(ile!% #he ser(on en!e! ith the silence an! the s(ile% /e
ha! sai! it as the last talk%
1uring the !ays that folloe! he (et his frien!s an! associates fro( the
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation in ,n!ia6 so(eti(es alone6 so(eti(es in a group% /e
spoke to the( of (any things6 of schools an! stu!y centers an! silence% #oar!
the en! of the last gathering he sai!2 Be absolutely alert6 an! (ake no effort%$
1
Asit aske! if those ere his last or!s to us6 an! he s(ile!%
/e !eci!e! to return to -:ai on January 1<% #hat e8ening he ent for his
usual alk on the A!yar beach% A large nu(ber of his frien!s alke! ith hi(%
A strong breeDe sept his hair like a co(et>s trail6 back fro( his face6 eBposing
his high !o(e! forehea!% /e ha! the look of an ancient sage of the forests% /e
alke! on the beach here he ha! been !isco8ere!6$ a!opte!6 an! initiate!%
/ere by the sea6 at A!yar6 se8enty*fi8e years ago6 hen /alley>s co(et last
entere! the orbit that oul! carry it toar!s the sun% -n his return he aske! his
frien!s to ait for hi( at ?a!ha Burnier>s house ithin the #heosophical Society
co(poun!% 'rishna:i lingere! on the beach6 facing the roaring sea% #hen he
turne! to each of the car!inal !irections an! pause! for a (inuteG Cuietly he
entere! the gate an! returne!%
#hat night6 an hour before his !eparture6 he ca(e !on fro( his roo(% /e
as !resse! i((aculately in =estern clothes6 his tee! coat thron o8er his
ar( an! a re! printe! silk scarfHa present fro( (eHaroun! his neck% /e
greete! his frien!s6 ho stoo! in a se(icircleG then he ca(e to (e an! shook (y
han!% /o !o , look5$ he aske!% 7orty6$ , respon!e!% , re(arke! on his scarf%
3y fa8orite one6$ he replie!% /e kne that it as the last ti(e he as to (eet
(any of his frien!s ho stoo! before hi(% But he ha! cut aay all e(otion6 all
sorro an! sense of separation% #his as his final bene!iction% #hat night he left
8ia the Pacific6 flying !irect to 4os Angeles%
,n -:ai his con!ition gre critical an! his illness as !iagnose! as cancer of
the pancreas% , arri8e! there on January 01 to fin! hi( !esperately ill% /is highly
8ulnerable bo!y6 so carefully protecte! through the years6 as ra8age! by the
8iolence of the !isease% -n the first !ay he sa us as if through a haDe% /e ha!
lost all sense of ti(e an! place% But the neBt !ay he rallie!6 an! , foun! his (in!
luci!6 the eyes clear an! fully aake% , rea! to hi( the letters , ha! brought ith
(e fro( @an!ini6 Sunan!a6 an! Pri(e 3inister ?a:i8 ;an!hi6 ho ha! sent a
personal (essage% 'rishna:i hel! (y han!G the grip as fir( an! a great flo of
lo8e reache! out to (e% /e sai! he as too eak to rite6 but sent his lo8e to all
his frien!s in ,n!ia%
1uring the neBt three or four !ays his strength returne!% /e aske! to be taken
in a heelchair to the pepper tree% #here he sat alone an! ba!e fareell to the
(ountains of -:ai6 the orange gro8es an! the (any trees%
/e also alke! ith so(e support to the li8ing roo( an! lay on the sofa
gaDing into the fire% /e sa a fil( on tele8ision that e8ening an! the !octors felt
that there (ight e8en be a re(ission in the !isease% #o (e he sai!6 Co(e an!
see (e to(orro an! all the !ays that you are here%$ So , sa 'rishna:i e8ery
(orning% , oul! sit by his be!si!e6 hol! his han! ith both of (ine6 an! be
silent ith hi(%
, notice! the books by his be!si!e6 books in Anglish6 ,talian6 an! 7renchH
Palgra8e>s :od"n Tr"asury6 Th" *>ford Book of -ngish !"rs"6 ,talo Cal8ino>s
stories6 the B"rit? 'i&tionary of ,taian6 Alphonse 1au!et>s stories6 ;usta8e
1orJ6 an! 4arence 1urrell>s A">andria @uart"t%
-n Sun!ay6 7ebruary 96 the tu(or restarte! its relentless attack an! 'rishna:i
as back in be!6 !esperately ill% , coul! not see hi( that !ay% #he neBt (orning
he sent for (e% /e sai!6 , ha! gone for a long alk in the (ountains% , got lost
an! they coul! not fin! (e% So , coul! not see you yester!ay%$ 7or an instant the
face as young6 supre(ely beautiful%
, sa 'rishna:i aroun! one o>clock on the !ay of (y !eparture on 7ebruary
16% , sat ith hi( for so(e ti(e% /e as in great pain6 but his (in! as clear
an! luci!% , sai! , oul! not say goo!bye6 for there oul! be no separation% =ith
great effort6 he lifte! (y han! to his lips% #he grip as still fir(% /e lay cra!le!
in a silence hich en8elope! (e% As , as lea8ing6 he sai!6 Pupul6 tonight ,
shall go for a long alk in the (ountains% #he (ists are rising%$ , left his roo(
ithout turning back%
#hat night6 at nine o>clock Pacific Stan!ar! #i(e6 'rishna:i slept6 to start his
long alk into the high (ountains% #he (ists ere rising6 but he alke! through
the (ists an! he alke! aay%
@otes
1. In S!"# On# I$ B%&n !n' Un(% S!"# On# I$ B%&n.)
1% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning M4on!on2 John 3urray6 199)N6 .G also6 B% Shi8a ?ao6
Birth and -ary 4"ars6 no !ate6 (anuscript on 'rishna>s early life% Archi8es of the
#heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
.% Sar8apalli ?a!hakrishnan6 #he Principal "panisha!s6$ Th" Chandogya 5panishad
9%1.%16 +8<%
0% @arianiah>s account of 'rishna>s chil!hoo! as taken !on in 1911 by 3rs% 'atherine
#aylor6 an Anglish #heosophist li8ing in A!yar% #he state(ent is signe! by @arianiah an!
itnesse! by Fon 3annen an! 3rs% ;eorge ;agorin% Archi8es of the #heosophical
Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
+% ,bi!%
)% She spoke of her feelings to her neighbor6 ho oul! later beco(e the gran!(other of
?a!ha Burnier% Burnier6 ho belongs to a pro(inent fa(ily of #heosophists6 as one of
the group ho ca(e close to 'rishna:i in ,n!ia% As of 1986 she as presi!ent of the
#heosophical Society%
6% J% 'rishna(urti6 Auto%iography% 'rishna starte! to rite his autobiography in 191) at
Farenge8ille in @or(an!y% /e rote his re(iniscences up to 1911% MA!yar6 3a!ras2
Archi8es of the #heosophical Society%N
2. T*# T*#%$%*+"!, S%"+#(- !n' (*# O"".,( H+#&!&"*-
1% Annie Besant6 Auto%iography MA!yar6 3a!ras2 #heosophical Publishing /ouse6 1909N6
0.6%
.% Annie Besant6 conclusion of to lectures gi8en in the /all of Science6 4on!on6 on August
+ an! 116 18896 un!er the title6 =hy , Beca(e a #heosophist%$ Archi8es of the
#heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
0% Jaaharlal @ehru6 An Auto%iography M,n!ia2 Allie! Publishers Pri8ate 4t!%6 196.N6 1)*16%
+% ;regory #illet6 Th" -d"r Broth"r M4on!on2 ?outle!ge an! 'egan Paul6 198.N6 1<.%
)% J% 'rishna(urti6 Auto%iography MA!yar6 3a!ras2 Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6
n%!%N%
6% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning M4on!on2 John 3urray6 199)N6 +1*+.%
9% #illet6 -d"r Broth"r6 10)%
8% ,bi!%6 1.)%
9% Annie Besant6 -n 'rishna(urti6$ Th" Th"osophist M3arch 1986N6 .<9% -riginally
publishe! in 19.0%
3. T*# /&#!01 I$ T*!( Y%. M- 2%&'3)
1% #his con8ersation beteen 'rishna:i6 Pan!it Jagannath "pa!hyaya6 an! a s(all group of
(e(bers of the 'rishna(urti 7oun!ation ,n!ia took place in Fasant Fihar6 3a!ras6 in
January 198)% ,t as transcribe! by Sunan!a Patar!han% Archi8es of the 'rishna(urti
7oun!ation ,n!ia6 6+P6) ;reenays ?oa!6 3a!ras%
.% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras% -riginal letter 'I? Archi8es6
-:ai6 California%
0% ,bi!%
+% ,bi!%
)% ,bi!%
6% Atharva !"da $amhita6 8ol% 16 translate! by =illia( 1ight =hitney MFaranasi2 3otilal
Banarasi!as6 196.N6 1)<%
9% 7ro( (y !iaries% 'rishna:i to ;eorge Su!arshan at Brockoo! Park at the ti(e of the
gathering of scientists in -ctober 199+%
8% Arthur /% @ethercot6 Th" +ast (our +iv"s of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 ?upert /art 1a8is6
1960N6 1)9%
9% Asther Bright6 *d M"mori"s and +"tt"rs of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 #heosophical
Publishing /ouse6 1906N6 10+%
1<% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras% -riginals 'I? 7oun!ation6 -:ai6
California%
11% ,bi!%
1.% ,bi!%
10% ,bi!%
1+% ,bi!%
1)% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras% -riginal ith 'I? 7oun!ation6
-:ai6 California%
16% ,bi!%
19% ,bi!%
18% ,bi!%
19% ,bi!%
.<% Arthur /% @ethercot6 Th" +ast (our +iv"s of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 ?upert /art 1a8is6
1960N6 ..9%
.1% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of (ufim"nt M4on!on2 John 3urray6 1980N6 6%
..% #heosophy in ,n!ia6$ +it"rary 'ig"st M199+N% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6
A!yar6 3a!ras%
.0% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning M4on!on2 John 3urray6 199)N6 106%
.+% 7ro( (y !iaries%
4. M%(*#&4 P,#!$# T%."* M- 5!"#. I$ I( S(+,, T*#&#3)
1% ?eport of the Star Congress6 -((en6 9% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6
3a!ras%
.% 7or a !etaile! account see 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning M4on!on2 John 3urray6
199)N6 1)0*1)9%
0% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
+% ,bi!%
6. I !n' M- B&%(*#& A&# On#)
1% ;regory #illet6 Th" -d"r Broth"r M4on!on2 ?outle!ge an! 'egan Paul6 198.N6 .18%
.% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning M4on!on2 John 3urray6 199)N6 .1)%
0% Arthur /% @ethercot6 Th" +ast (our +iv"s of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 ?upert /art 1a8is6
1960N6 069%
+% @itya !ie! less than four (onths after these or!s ere sai!%$ A!itor>s co((ents%
;eorge Arun!ale6 riting in the )"rad of th" $tar MJanuary*1ece(ber 19.)N2 0)9%
)% @ethercot6 +ast (our +iv"s6 069%
6% #illet6 -d"r Broth"r6 ..<%
9% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
8% B% Shi8a ?ao (anuscript6 #he 'rishna(urti Story6$ no !ate% Archi8es of the
#heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
9% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
1<% ,bi!%
7. T*# P#&$%n!,+(- %6 7. K&+$*n!0.&(+ H!$ B##n S8!,,%8#' U +n (*# 5,!0#$.)
1% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
.% J% 'rishna(urti6 Th" Kingdom of )appin"ss MA!yar6 3a!ras2 #heosophical Publishing
/ouse6 n%!%N6 86%
0% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning M4on!on2 John 3urray6 199)N%
+% ,bi!%
)% Asther Bright6 *d M"mori"s and +"tt"rs of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 #heosophical
Publishing /ouse6 1906N6 168%
6% Annie Besant in a letter to ;eorge Arun!ale !ate! 1.*1<*19.66 Th"osophy in ,ndia
MJanuary*1ece(ber 1900N%
9% 7ro( (y !iaries%
8% 4utyens6 4"ars of Awak"ning6 .+1%
9% ,bi!%
1<% =ho Brings the #ruth5$ no !ate% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
11% Arthur /% @ethercot6 Th" +ast (our +iv"s of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 ?upert /art 1a8is6
1960N6 096%
1.% ,bi!%6 09+*09)%
10% Arthur /% @ethercot6 Th" +ast (our +iv"s of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 ?upert /art 1a8is6
1960N6 +<9%
1+% Archi8es of the #heosophical Society6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
8. K&+$*n!0.&(+ +n O9!+1 T*# 5%&:%((#n Y#!&$4 1938;1947
1% Arthur /% @ethercot6 Th" +ast (our +iv"s of Anni" B"sant M4on!on2 ?upert /art 1a8is6
1960N6 ++9%
.% Th" Th"osophist MApril*Septe(ber 190+N2 +)+*+))%
0% 4etters to Pa!(abai San:i8a ?ao ith S(t% Su!ha ?a(an6 3ysore% Archi8es of the
'rishna(urti 7oun!ation6 A!yar6 3a!ras%
+% 7ro( (y !iaries% 'rishna:i in con8ersation ith @an!ini an! (e%
)% A% '% ?a(anu:a(6 $p"aking of $iva M4on!on2 Penguin Books6 1990N6 ++%
6% Sybille Be!for!6 Adous )u>"y;A Biography M@e &ork2 Alfre! A% 'nopfP/arper I
?o6 199+N6 1)+%
9% Anita 4oos6 Kiss )oywood :ood%y" M4on!on2 Penguin Books6 199+N6 1)+%
8% Christopher ,sheroo!6 My :uru and )is 'is&ip" M4on!on2 3agnu( Books 3ethuen
Paperbacks 4t!%6 1981N6 )<%
9% 7ro( (y !iaries%
1<% Be!for!6 )u>"y6 1.6%
11% ,sheroo!6 My :uru6 0<+%
1.% /enry 3iller6 Th" Books in My +if" M4on!on2 Fillage Press6 199+N6 1)0%
9. T*# G!(*#&+n: %6 (*# 5&+#n'$
1% J% 'rishna(urti6 Comm"ntari"s on +iving M4on!on2 Fictor ;ollancD 4t!%6 1999N%
10. Y%. A&# (*# <%&,'.)
1% 7ro( (y !iaries6 Bo(bay6 19+8%
.% ,bi!%
0% J% 'rishna(urti6 JA Krishnamurti.s Taks in Bom%ay# 1012 M3a!ras6 ,n!ia2 'rishna(urti
=ritings6 ,nc%6 19)<N6 1<)%
+% J% 'rishna(urti6 Comm"ntari"s on +iving M4on!on2 Fictor ;ollancD 4t!%6 1999N6 9.%
)% 7ro( (y !iaries6 19+8%
6% 'rishna(urti6 Taks in Bom%ay# 10126 +6 )%
9% 7ro( (y !iaries6 19+8%
8% 'rishna(urti6 Taks in Bom%ay# 10126 8%
9% 7ro( (y !iaries6 19+8%
1<% ,bi!%
11% 7ro( (y !iaries%
1.% ,bi!%
10% J% 'rishna(urti6 Tradition and R"voution M@e 1elhi2 -rient 4ong(an 4t!%6 199.N6 .+%
11. G% !n' M!=# 5&+#n'$ 8+(* (*# T&##$.)
1% J% 'rishna(urti6 Comm"ntari"s on +iving M4on!on2 Fictor ;ollancD 4t!%6 1999N6 .9%
12. T*#&# <!$ (*# 5!"# B#$+'# M#.)
1% Asit Chan!(al6 A Thousand Moons M@e &ork2 /arry @% Abra(s6 198)N6 16%
14. Un'#& (*# 2!$( R!-$ %6 (*# S.n4 (*# <!(#&$ <#&# (*# C%,%& %6 N#8>%&n 5,%8#&$.)
1% J% 'rishna(urti6 Comm"ntari"s on +iving M4on!on2 Fictor ;ollancD 4t!%6 1999N6 88%
16. R#,+:+%n C%0#$ <*#n (*# M+n' H!$ Un'#&$(%%' (*# <%&=+n:$ %6 I($#,6.)
1% 7ro( (y !iaries% A con8ersation ith S% 3% Joshi at ?a:ghat6 Faranasi6 in 1980%
17. T*# M+n' S##0#' (% E?!n' 8+(*%.( !n En'.)
1% J% 'rishna(urti6 Comm"ntari"s on +iving6 .! series M4on!on2 Fictor ;ollancD6 1998N6
.+1*.+.%
18. C!n T*#&# B# A"(+%n 8+(*%.( C%n$#@.#n"#3)
1% 7ro( (y !iaries% , as present at the !iscussion%
.% Apa Sahib Pant of the ,n!ian 7oreign Ser8ice6 retire! an! li8ing in Poona6 sent a letter to
(e !escribing the (eeting beteen 'rishna:i an! the 1alai 4a(a% Apa Sahib as present%
0% #he account regar!ing Fi(la #hakkar an! 'rishna:i as tol! to (e by 1a!a
1har(a!hikari6 a close associate of Fi(la #hakkar6 at his son>s resi!ence in Bo(bay%
1a!a 1har(a!hikari6 one of the lea!ers of the Sar8a Se8a Sangh (o8e(ent6 !ie! in
1986% Fi(la #hakkar left Finoba:i an! began lecturing on her on search an! liberation%
=hile in ,n!ia she li8es in 3ount Abu an! 1alhousie% She rote a book on her (eeting
ith 'rishna:i6 entitle! *n an -t"rna !oyag"%
19. T% S#!= 8+(* (*# <*%,# H#!')
1% @ir(ala 1eshpan!e is the !aughter of P% &% 1eshpan!e% She li8e! in Finoba:i>s ashra( in
Paunar in 3aharashtra an! functione! as his secretary% She acco(panie! the sage of
Paunar here8er he tra8ele!6 taking !on notes of his i(portant con8ersations6 an!
(eeting 8isitors on his behalf% She as present at the (eeting beteen 'rishna:i an!
Finoba:i an! took !on the !iscussion%
20. T*&%.:* N#:!(+%n T*#&# I$ C&#!(+%n.)
1% J% 'rishna(urti6 Krishnamurti.s Taks# Madras# 10B0 M3a!ras2 'rishna(urti =ritings
,nc%6 1961N6 98%
.% J% 'rishna(urti6 Krishnamurti.s Taks# Bom%ay# 10C8 M3a!ras2 'rishna(urti =ritings
,nc%6 1961N6 .9%
0% ,bi!%6 09%
+% ,bi!%6 +6%
21. T*# M+n' T*!( G%#$ +n(% I($#,6 /##,- En(#&$ %n ! P+,:&+0!:# 6&%0 <*+"* T*#&# I$
N% R#(.&n.)
1% J% 'rishna(urti6 Krishnamurti.s Taks# Bom%ay# 10C1 M3a!ras2 'rishna(urti =ritings
,nc%6 1961N6 ).%
.% ,bi!%
22. B# A8!=#.)
1% 3ary 4utyens6 4"ars of (ufim"nt M4on!on2 John 3urray6 1980N6 1<8%
.% J% 'rishna(urti6 3ot"%ook M4on!on2 Fictor ;ollancD 4t!%6 1996N6 .6%
0% ,bi!%6 1)8%
+% ,bi!%6 188*189%
)% J% 'rishna(urti6 Krishnamurti on -du&ation M@e 1elhi2 -rient 4ong(ans 4t!%6 199+N6
.0*.+%
6% ,bi!%6 1<+%
23. H!- I$ (*# M!n <*% I$ N%(*+n:)1 2#((#&$ (% ! Y%.n: 5&+#n'
1% @an!ini 3ehta6 Bo(bay%
E+,%:.#
1% Asit Chan!(al6 #he 4ast =alk6$ Bom%ay Maga?in" M3arch 96 1986N%
,llustrations