Lawrence Durrell

The Black Book

First published in 1938
BOOK ONE
BOOK TWO
BOOK THREE
Keats, Venice a!n" its #l!atin" #urniture, $e%ern, and that little c!c& teaser $helle', li&e a bl!b !#
pus scribblin", scribblin"( Or Halet )ith the incandescent #ather* +,isten,+ he sa's, +d! it -ust this
!nce( . )!n/t ne%er as& '!u a"ain( 0ust this !nce(+
. a "lad, #!r the sa&e !# this 'th!l!"', that 1arne' ta&es it int! his head t! c!e seesa)in"
d!)n the stairs at this precise !ent, t! c!ntribute his "!thic charade t! the !rnin"( Here, his
hunchbac& #i"ure, #!resh!rtened, )a""in" d!)n the stairs( First the le"s and b!d', all spla'ed, then
the little &n!t !# the head2 li&e !ne !# th!se carni%al #i"ures the' carr' !n p!les in .tal'( His n!se
han"s d!)n li&e N!tre 3ae in "l!!( 4s al)a's )hen he sees the hunchbac&, Eustace #inds a
%ein !# br!ad -!cular hu!r sprin" up in hi( One has t! be li&e this )ith hi because he is s!
%ain, s! terri#'in" in his %anit'( 5uic&, pretend that he is n!t de#!red, that he is a "reat bris&
n!ral an( We e6perience a panic !# ebarrassent2 )e bec!e ser%ile in the #ace !# the
"i"antic e"!tis !# this little East End 0e)( +4h ha7+ 'ells Eustace, +s! it/s '!u is it, 1ister
1arne'*+
1arne'/s head sits bac& !n his hup, perpetuall' c!c&ed up at the ceilin"( .n !rder t! l!!& at
Eustace he a&es s!e c!pensatin" echanis h!ld hi #!r)ard, sti##l', as i# thrust !ut !n an
in%isible stic&( He is silin" his "litterin" sel#8satis#ied sile, !penin" and shuttin" th!se little pale
ushr!!s under his n!se( He is snic&in" aiabl' n!), pullin" d!)n his )aistc!at hard( +3/'!u
n!tice the sell, then*+ r!ars Eustace )ith incredible -!%ialit'2 and 1arne', scentin" a -!&e,
deands %!t sell he eans( +4 sell ./ tal&in" !#, sir( 4 sell )hat/s been b!therin" us t!da'(+
1arne' is actin" #!r all he is )!rth, sni##in" and p!utin", his %anit' thr!)in" up ia"es !# hisel#,
n!) in this p!se, n!) in that( +.t/s n!t e,+ he adits at last, +it/s n!t e %!t/s ade it(+ 4nd #r!
this piece !# )it "r!)s Eustace/s deep #alse bass!!nin" lau"hter, and the 9ueer snic&erin" !#
1arne': li&e s!e!ne s)ishin" a cane( 1' cue( . c!ntribute a !dish snic&er t! the part',
p!litel', as be#its a secretar' )h! can/t help !%erhearin"( We are b!th ner%!us !# 1arne'(
The hunchbac&/s dr' &n!t !# hair rides his scalp as i# in the "rip !# a hurricane( His #ace
bec!es s! taut )ith lau"hter that !ne #ears it )ill suddenl' #l' int! a d!;en r!u"h #ra"ents, li&e
a can%as as&( He is breathin" ri"ht in the !uth !# Eustace, leanin" !n the des&, !##erin" his
auseent t! the bl!nd an, )h! sits in utter dis"ust, lau"hin" bac& at hi( Once e%er' t)el%e
snic&s !r s! 1arne'/s b!d' su##ers a s!rt !# tin' c!pensatin" c!n%ulsi!n( .t is li&e )atchin" a
shirt pass thr!u"h a )rin"er( His ars are t!ssed )ide, his head c!es d!)n( Then the a"a;ine !#
lau"hter is eptied snic& snic& snic&( $hall he tell us )hat it is* he sa's at last, archl'( $hall he* .t/s
the "irls/ la%at!r'( The' #!ll!) each !ther !ut int! the hall2 Eustace is dri%in" hi bac& deliberatel'
n!), lau"hin" hi bac& t! his r!!( 4nd 1arne' retreats )ith sel#8satis#ied uncti!n, snic&erin"
and l!utin"( <r!-ects hisel# unc!uthl' upstairs a"ain li&e a crib, )hile Eustace &eeps hi !n his
)a' )ith little s9uirts !# lau"hter( Then bac& t! his des&, s)earin" under his breath, dis"usted,
!utra"ed, huiliated( 1arne'7 Eustace sittin" there #uri!us )ith 1arne', in his little p!lished blac&
h!!#s, )ith his bl!nd hair #allin" a)a' !n each side !# his head(
The huan c!ed'7 The di%ine draa !# a bl!c&ed shit8h!use all entan"led )ith 1arne',
the little br!)n h!!#s, the buc&et !# "reen ice and the canar' settin" !ut li&e =!lubus e%er' ten
inutes and endin" li&e $ir Walter Ralei"h( The ad%enture !# the ship, li&e a )!!den b!d', and the
spiritual ad%enture in the t!)er( . a n!t tr'in" ,t! uddle '!u( .t is !nl' that . 'sel# a uddled
b' these phen!ena:the sn!), and 1arne'/s ra) $panish tulip, Eustace and the ip!tence !#
bein" earnest( .# . l!!& at hi n!) he )ill be a little ashaed, reeberin" his lau"hter( .n !rder
n!t t! let e see this, he )ill turn aside t! the little irr!r !n the )all and e6aine the ca%ities in
his teeth( Fr! the la%at!r' a b!iled puddin"2 #r! the hall )here the c!ats han" li&e the "irls/
pla'"r!und sel%es, )aitin" #!r the cl!c&, a )hi##, huan, s)eat', p!lluted )ith cheap scent and
rice p!)der2 #r! Eustace a pert #art:-ust t! sh!) that the e9uilibriu !# his sunn' teperaent
is rest!red(
BOOK ONE

The 4"!n, then( .t be"ins( T!da' there is a "ale bl!)in" up #r! the ,e%ant( The !rnin"
cae li&e a 'ell!) #!" al!n" a r!ll !# de%el!pin" #il( Fr! Bi%arie, acr!ss the #!ain" channel .
can see #r! the )ind!), the ri%er "!d has sent us his !##erin"> ud, in a s!lid ta)n' line acr!ss
the ba'( The )ind has sc!!ped !ut the %er' b!)els !# the p!taus acr!ss the )a', li&e a a!th
e%acuati!n, and b!)led it acr!ss at us( The #isheran c!plain that the' cann!t see the #ish an'
!re t! spear the( Well, the ru#us sea sc!rpi!n and the !ct!pus are sa#e #r! their carbide and
tridents( 3eep8)ater li#e utterl' shut !##, !ent!usl' !bscure behind the ebrane !# ud( The
)inter .!nian has lapsed bac& int! its !ri"inal secrec'(
The slither !# rain al!n" the r!!#( .t bubbles in al!n" the chin&s !# the )ind!)s( .t b!ils
a!n" the r!c& p!!ls( T!da', at da)n ?#!r )e c!uld n!t sleep because !# the thunder@, the "irl put
!n the "ra!ph!ne in the "l!!, and the c!petiti!n !# Bach strin"s, resin!us and c!rdial as !nl'
"ut and )!!d can be, clibed !ut al!n" the ur&' panes( While the sea pushed up its sha#ts and
c!ils under the h!use, )e la' there in bed, dar& as an' dun"e!n, and !urned the l!ss !# the
1editerranean( ,!st, all l!st2 the #ruitin" !# "reen #i"s, apric!ts( ,!st the "rapes, blac&, 'ell!), and
dus&'( E%en the !nes li&e pale nipples, delicatel' #rec&led and el!di!us, are #!r"!tten in this
!rnin", )here !ur !ne realit' is the ,e%antine )ind, ust' )ith the sell !# 4rabia, stirrin" the
ba' int! a udd' br!th( This is the )inter !# !ur disc!ntent(
The air is #ull !# the #ine dust !# the desert t!bs:the 4rabic idi! !# death:and the
panic )!rld is 9uite d!ne #!r, 9uite used up and l!st( The c'presses are ade !# c!al> their #!rs
stipple the landscape, li&e hea%' blac& brush str!&es !n a )ater c!l!r )h!se %italit' has been rinsed
#r! it( Aes( Winter, )inter e%er')here in these nude, ener%ate s'b!ls(
This is the da' . ha%e ch!sen t! be"in this )ritin", because t!da' )e are dead a!n" the
dead2 and this is an a"!n #!r the dead, a chr!nicle #!r the li%in"( There is n! !ther )a' t! put it(
There is a c!rresp!ndence bet)een the present, this nubness, inertia, and that past realit' !# a
death, )h!se eanin" is s'b!lic, 'thical, but real als! in its s'pt!( 4s i#, l'in" here, in this
iic death at !rnin", )e )ere recreatin" a bit #r! the past> a crub !# the death )e ha%e
escaped( Aes, e%en th!u"h the )ild duc&s #all in a tan"le !# )in"s a!n" the arshes !# Bi%arie,
and all the eleents are !ut !# "ear, !ut !# c!ntr!l2 e%en th!u"h the sea #l!"s the t!u"h blac& butt!n
!# r!c& !n )hich this, !ur h!use, is built( The c!rresp!ndence !# deadness )ith deadness is
c!plete(
. c!uld n!t ha%e be"un this act in the suer, #!r e6aple, because in the suer )e sit
al!n" under the )all !n !ur haunches, and listen t! the #i"s burstin"( The sun dries up )hat is #luid
!# a"!n' in us, laps us in a carapace !# heat, s! that all )e &n!) is n!thin", sunblac&, E"'ptian
n!thin"( The ebrane "athers !%er !ur e'es as the' cl!se, and !nl' the blac& bubbles !# t!rp!r
cr!ss and recr!ss the c!nsci!usness, as i# b!rn #r! la%a( The il& !# sentient curdles in the
%eins2 an astrin"enc' )ithers huanit'2 hair #ree;es al!n" the scalp, !r )ithers t! s!#t "!ld
sha%in"s al!n" the thi"hs( The %er' nipples turn hard and blac& !n the breasts !# )!en, )hile the
#i"s r!ast( Teats li&e dar& plu"s !# )!!d #!r the #isheren/s s!ns(
Well, !ne cann!t help thin&in" this in such a da)n, )hen the )ind is #illin" the r!! )ith
the e%!cati%e sells !# the dust, and the nascent #ust !# the t!bs> the stale e6pl!si!ns !# ancient
li#e breathed c!ldl' !n up li&e leper/s breath( A!u are s! pale and d!ne #!r in the !rnin"( <ale, the
#ace !n the pill!), as ancestral as e##i"ies, )hile the r!tten sell !# the crusades bl!)s dapl' in
!n us(
This is )here . sa) the "irl "et up #r! bed and bra%e the c!ld #!r a !ent( =ar'atid( 4
dance step a!n" the sine)s !# the usic( 4 iin" "i"ue( F!r a !ent the suer al!st
burst int! bl!! a"ain> asph!del, )ith the bra%e )hite brush, pa%ane !# the err' peac!c&( Or )ild
"eese han"in" acr!ss the !!n, and the in%isible archer s!e)here )atchin", hand !n his ept'
9ui%er( 4h7 but here )e ha%e !nl' the dre"s !# 'ell!) seared acr!ss at the ic' c!ntact !# b!ne(
Then . &ne) all at !nce that )e share that c!rresp!ndence !# death )ith the seas!n, and )ith all
th!se !ther seas!ns )hich !ppress e )hen . be"in t! )rite !# the( N! uies, chun&s !#
tissue latched t! b!ne2 n! pillars !# salt, n! cada%ers, ha%e e%er been hal# s! dead as )e are t!da'(
.t is t!da' at brea&#ast, )hile the 'achts h!und acr!ss the )ater, tear8stained and an6i!us,
t!)ard p!rt, that . a d'in" a"ain the little death )hich br!!ds #!re%er in the Re"ina H!tel> al!n"
the !lderin" c!rrid!rs, the "e!l!"ical strata !# p!tted #erns, the !use8cha)ed )ainsc!tin" )hich
the death8)atch tic&s( 3! n!t as& e h!)( 3! n!t as& e )h', at this tie, !n a re!te Bree&
headland in a st!r, . sh!uld ch!!se, #!r ' #irst real b!!&, a theatre )hich is n!t 1editerranean( .t
is part !# us here, in the #!ur dap )alls !# a dap h!use, under an en!r!us )ind, under the
sabers !# rain( Fr! this ner%!us usic rise th!se !thers, n! less specters, )h! are ' ies( .
ean Tar9uin, )al&in" al!n" the iced suburban streets, his scar# dra)n acr!ss his #ace, the disease
"r!)in" in his )!b2 . ean ,!b!, claberin" his suburban "irls li&e a p!)der !n&e'2 . ean
<ere;, =haberlain, Bre"!r', Brace, <eters, Hilda( 4b!%e all . ean this l!"ic !# pers!nalities
)hich this paper sh!uld e6hibit, in all its beauti#ul utilati!ns(
Tar9uin, #!r e6aple, si68#!!t, #r!st8b!und, -ac&&ni#ed, 'ell!) )ith -aundice2 Tar9uin
pinned t! a slab !# ru#us c!r&, etheri;ed, li&e a diseased butter#l'2 Tar9uin in the bl!!dless drea !#
this .!nian !rnin", a!n" the #!a and upr!ar, e6tendin" his la6 hand in "reetin"( Here )e are,
sittin" in the hall!)ed #u" !# the l!un"e, )rapped in ru"s, a!n" the declinin" plants and statues(
He is as ancient and e6clusi%e as lepr!s'( . a a#raid t! sha&e hands )ith hi, #!r #ear that the s&in
)ill slip the b!n' structure !# the hand and c!e a)a'( .t )!uld ta&e s! little t! pr!duce the
s&elet!n #r! this debile bundle !# eat(
When . a in the Re"ina . a dead a"ain( N!t )ith the c!plete 'ster' and passi%it' !#
the dead !r"anis, but dead in the sense !# the little death( With e . carr' this little t!' ar&, )ith
its little t!' anials, ,!b!, 1iss Venable, etc( We are lit up in the si"ns !# a ne) cha!s( We are
li&e patches !# tissue, &ept )ar in sealed #las&s, #ed, )ashed, and c!anded t! ultipl' under
the )atch#ul super%isi!n !# a scientist( Our )!rld is a )!rld !# strict b!undaries, !utside )hich )e
dare n!t )ander, n!t e%en in !ur ia"inati!n2 )h!se seas!ns c!e and "! )ith!ut an' sense !#
chan"e( .t is edie%al in its blindness, this e6istence( Onl' in )inter, )hen the sn!) #alls, there is a
stran"e dar& li"ht thr!)n !n the )alls !# !ur hired r!!s( The shad!)s in c!rners elt, #l!),
diss!l%e, and d)indle t! blac&( This is the seas!n )e all hate s! uch( This car!l !# sn!), )hen
the red r!bin sits ip!rtantl' !n the r!se bushes )hich line the deserted "ardens, and the letter rac&
is craed )ith tradesan/s Cas cards( 4%er' err' Auletide t! '!u and '!urs7 ?$)eep !n, 'e
#at and "reas' citi;ens(@
The "ardens ha%e an' irr!rs, shinin" up !n the dra)n blinds, in a cha!tic, )itherin"
#lare !# ibecilit'( .n his little cubicle ,!b! lies in bed, curled up li&e a #etus, and rin"s #!r his
brea&#ast( The unearthl' li"ht !# the sn!) spra)ls !n the "reen can%as blind( .t is still sn!)in"( .t
)ill d!ubtless c!ntinue sn!)in" #!re%er( One be"ins t! disre"ard these thin"s, such is the spiritual
disease !# this )!rld( The abience in )hich )e pin dec!rati!ns up, in#late ball!!ns, !r blac&en
the sn!) )ith !ur best #riend/s #uneral(
Winter !rnin"( 4n ele"' in s)an/s8d!)n, #err!c!ncrete, p!sten, ,!b!, #etus, hal#penn'
staps( F!ur #li"hts up, Tar9uin is br!!din" !n the iaculate c!ncepti!n, )hile the &ettle sn!res
!n the h!b( .n the usical archair, . s!&e and )atch ,!b!/s %a"ue !%eents in the "l!!( .t is
pleasant t! lie li&e this, s!n!lent, n!t darin" t! t!uch the c!ld parts !# the bed )ith his t!es( The
irr!r is arran"ed s! that, b' li#tin" hisel# !n !ne elb!), he can ta&e a "!!d l!!& at his !)n s)art
#ace, and decide )hether the ni"ht/s sleep has re#reshed his a-est', !r )hether the debaucher' is
"ainin" !n hi( There is als! the 9uesti!n !# his penis( He is catapultin" it editati%el' a"ainst his
bell' as he studies his #eatures( We d! n!t spea&, #!r this is a s!len !ent( He is chec&in" up !n
his appearance( His #ace is a s!rt !# diar' !n )hich e%er' tri%ialit' !# the dail' li#e is )ritten( He is
c!n%inced !# this( +E%er' line here !r there, dear b!', the n!se !r the !uth,has t! ean
s!ethin"2 )hen '!u d! s!ethin" there is a line2 a )!an tau"ht e the lines but . d!n/t
reeber uch n!), e6cept the %ir"in line> s!(+ .t is ip!ssible t! d! this )ith!ut a ph!netic
s'ste, his ar"!t is s! 9ueer( The "l!! is s)ellin" )ith ci"arette s!&e( Ne6t d!!r 1iss Venable
is p!)derin" her harelip( The "as #ire is pla'in" its ute -a;;( The sn!) is #airin"( The ele"iac
!rnin" is !penin" !n the #r!;en ri%ers, p!nds, e'eballs, )ells, #in"ers, teeth( N!t !ne !# us is
=anute en!u"h t! put his head !ut !# the )ind!) and !rder it t! st!p( 3act'l, dact'l, the duc&s are
"!in" t! ar&et( The %erili!n p!stan #i"hts his )a' thr!u"h dri#ts !# sn!) t! brin" e a letter
#r! the )hite lad', 'clept <at( ,!b! is catapultin", catapultin", )ith a &ind !# hea%' <eru%ian
rh'th, and thin&in" !%er his c!n9uests( The #urnaces are bein" l!aded( =haberlain is lettin" !ut
the d!"s #!r their 'ell!) !rnin" piddle in the sn!)( The "!rilla is "rinnin" at hisel# in the
irr!r, puttin" !n a "aud' tie( There is a se%en8inch icicle in his urethra, put there b' 0ac& Fr!st !r
$anta Blaus( $!e!ne )ill be ade t! su##er a!n" the trapled buntin", the "in, the ci"ar
$!&e, and the petri#ied "reetin" cards !n the antelpiece( Winter !rnin", )ith the bac!n
tha)in" sl!)l', as Tar9uin/s #ace !n the pill!) c!n"eals bac& int! sleepin" #at( .t is a pr!#!und
!ent, set aside #!r thin&in" !%er 'esterda'/s sins and preparin" t!da'/s( ,!b! is c!"itatin"
hea%il' the eternal sub-ect !# )!an( <articularl' the t)eed En"lish)!en )h! )ear padl!c&s
bet)een their le"s( With a "r!an he is !ut !# bed "r!pin" #!r his can !# tepid )ater !utside the d!!r(
Fr! the chair !ne deduces the little ritual t!ilet he a&es> his hairbrushin", t!!th sc!urin", tie
pullin"( He is %er' #astidi!us, %er' dapper in his =!ntinental8cut cl!thes( His dressin" table is a
ass !# ipleents !# %ari!us &inds, st!c&ed up a"ainst the leather8#raed e6iles, his #ail'( Fr!
tie t! tie, )hen he can dra" hisel# a)a' #r! his #ace in the irr!r, he pauses assi%el' !%er
the picture !# his !ther( 4h7 that %a"ue ,atin sentient( His !ther7 But he sa's n!thin"( When
he is dressed he tidies up and "i%es a #inal "lance r!und( The )ireless is dusted( His red dressin"
"!)n han"s at the d!!r( His tin' sh!es lie al!n" the rac& in a sentiental ,atin ballet( His tr!users
are pressed in the little )!!den rac&( E%er'thin" is neat and !rderl'( One "lance !utside the blind
sh!)s hi the state !# a##airs in the !uter )!rld( $! he turns t! the )ireless and s)itches it !n(
+,ast ni"ht she didn/t c!e a"ain(+
+Bad luc&(+
+What t! d!, dear b!'* What t!d!*+
He li#ts the #lap !# his c!at and lets his hand lie #irl' al!n" the ri, #in"ers hidden( He
bends his ri"ht le", and places his t!e !utside his le#t #!!t( This is a s!rt !# s'b!lic p!se )ith
)hich he is )aitin" #!r =hristas, and the re)ards !# a )h!le seas!n/s er!tic aneu%erin"( He
be"ins t! describe the %i"il !n the dap c!!n last ni"ht( He has cau"ht a c!ld, he thin&s( 4nd
all because !# that little strupet( +Thin& !# e, dear b!', )ith ' heart #ull !# l!r%e, )aitin/ and
)aitin/(+ .t is ip!ssible n!t t!( The )inter ni"ht #allin" d!)nstairs a!n" a illi!n busted pill!)s,
and ,!b! sittin" !n a t!bst!ne, #r!;en sti##, dra)n bac& li&e a tri""er )ith l!r%e, startin" at e%er'
s!und !n the #r!st' r!ads( ,!b!, sittin" there )ith his heart #ull !# l!r%e, and his p!c&ets #ull !#
French letters( .t is s!ethin" t! be put !n a "reetin" card #!r a <eru%ian =hristas, under a "!thic
script and bl!!d' r!bin( Tar9uin ust be t!ld( ?But . a n!t pa'in" attenti!n(@ +Thin& !# e, dear
b!',+ and s! !n(
Whene%er p!ssible he li&es t! put a bi" tin"e !# pit' int! his c!n%ersati!n because it "i%es
his beauti#ul blac& e'es a chance t! l!!& their best> s!#t, !lten, )!bblin" in tears, betra'ed(
Ori"inall' this ust ha%e been !ne !# his seducti!n !ti%es, this e6pressi%e sentientalit'2 but his
repert!ire !# e6pressi!ns is s! %ast and chan"es s! c!ntinuall', that !ne #inds a #e) cast!## le#t!%ers
a!n" his !rdinar' anneriss( This s!#t in%!cati%e pit' is !ne !# the, le#t !%er #r! er!tic
e6pl!its l!n" since #!r"!tten, e6cept #!r the lines !# his #ace, !# c!urse( That seri!us chart )hich he
e6aines s! earnestl' e%er' da', t! reassure hisel# that his le#t8hal# pr!#ile isreall' his best side(
With En"lish)!en, !# c!urse, !ne needs a t!uch !# health' anliness, in !rder t! "et their pit'(
This he has disc!%ered( $! he )ears his hat a bit !re ra&ishl' #!r the n!nce, and tries t! )al& )ith
a #lat8#!!ted ru""er stride( ,ater, )hen his pr!tecti%e c!l!rin" is better:then his &n!c&!ut e6pl!its
)ill be"in in earnest(
His brea&#ast arri%es in the ars !# the ne)est chaberaid, )h! l!!&s health', ra), and
ade9uate( He presents his hal#8pr!#ile t! her until she lea%es( One !# these !rnin"s she )ill be
spread8ea"led !n his bed )hile the c!##ee "ets c!ld( This, !ne rec!"ni;es #atall', is !ne !# the
c!nditi!ns !# li#e( The )ireless )ill be !n the )h!le tie( Fiat %!luntas, )ith the #ail' l!!&in"
!)lish and the little sh!es in their static ballet(
He ta&es the tra' !n his &nee and be"ins t! eat #astidi!usl', li&e a cat, pushin" the sp!!n
bet)een his br!ad ripe lips(
+. thin&,+ he sa's at last, +. )ill "! int! a !naster'( Will '!u c!e )ith e* Eh* We
#!r"et all these bitches, dear b!', and be h!l' h!l' h!l'( .n blac&(+
?3ra) bac& the blind and let the s!#t translucent li"ht int! the r!!( $he is l'in" there in
bed a!n" the apple trees and the #r!;en la&es, l!n" and c!!l as a d!rit!r'( The iense "!thic
!naster' bet)een her le"s, etc(@
$n!) li&e a "reat chain #r! p!le t! p!le( The enuerati!n !# !ur sins, the #!r"i%in" !# !ur
sins, the p!sten, the buses, the letter )ith the hal#penn' stap in the rac&( The "utters are cl!tted
)ith #ilth( The buses scatter( 1!n!l!"ue !# the )hite r!ad stretchin" d!)n past the =ath!lic
=hurch, the 1unicipal $ch!!l, the ,!c& H!spital, the e6chan"e, the p!stb!6( Tar9uin l'in" li&e
Bulli%er in ,illiput )hile the buses r!a up and d!)n hi, !%er his hips and thi"hs( Tar9uin li&e
the island !# En"land in its )inter chains, and the hills li&e an' blanched nipples(
+. a a =ath!lic,+ sa's ,!b! cle%erl', )ith the air !# ha%in" d!ne a tric&(
His )atch stri&es the h!ur in his )aistc!at p!c&et, and he sprin"s t! attenti!n( He )ill iss
the lecture !n #err!c!ncrete, and that )!uld be e%il, in the !ral sense( His dear #ather is pa'in" his
#ees( 1!ral> h!n!r th' #ather and th' !ther in their #raes, and learn t! build !re =ath!lic
churches in #err!c!ncrete(
He "athers up his anuscripts, his instruents, his te6tb!!&s, and s)itches !## the )ireless(
+Well,+ he sa's )ith #inalit', l!c&in" the d!!r care#ull' behind hi(
Hal#8past ten !# a Auletide seas!n( ,!b! has %anished in a s)eepin" dra#t thr!u"h the st!ne
pillars int! the ain r!ad( His scar# dan"les !%er his sh!ulders( The streets are sharp )ith #r!st, the
sh!ps )ith dec!rati!ns( The lab is b!rn, !r )ill s!!n be b!rn( . present the teleph!ne at '
teple "in"erl', li&e a suicide( 1arne' pipes and bl!)s d!)n the !ther end( . can #eel the hairs
sti##enin" !n his hup( N! )!r& t!da'( . ha%e a bad c!ld( He is an"r', t! be le#t in char"e !# the
sch!!l li&e this, and deserted b' all but a #e) "!!d8natured !a#s( The iserable children are
cr!)din" int! the #!r r!!s, pipin" and #artin" t! &eep )ar, huddlin" r!und the( tin st!%es( The
hunchbac& usher resents ' illness( The s!unds are all an"led )ith c!ld, indeterinate an"er,
pi9ue, di"nit', despair( +. th!u"ht )e c!uld c!unt !n '!u at least,+ he sa's( . a tepted t! repl',
+$!rr', but . a a =ath!lic(+ .nstead . rin" !## and c!nsult the l!un"e cl!c&( .t is t!! late t! "! t!
=!uni!n> the !nl' "esture in this li#e that c!ntains the #ull 9u!ta !# ir!n'( .t is t!! earl' t! "! t!
bed( .t is al)a's t!! late !r t!! earl' t! d! an'thin" at all( H!)e%er, )hen in d!ubt, c!nsult the
l!un"e cl!c&( . c!nsult it( Ne) para"raph(
.n his little under"r!und Hades !%erl!!&in" the "arden <eters )ill be l'in", p!nderin" !n
his !)n "enius:!r asturbatin"( The "reat pr!ble #!r hi is )h! t! be li&e, i# he is "!in" t!
be a "enius( ,e!nard! li&ed p!rt and crabapples, #!r e6aple, )hereas 3!)s!n pre#erred a ci"ar( .t
is di##icult( $)inburne t!!& it strai"ht #r! the b!ttle, and Wa"ner )!re n!thin" but sil& ne6t t! the
s&in( Beeth!%en/s s'philis, )as she =!ntracted !r hereditar'* .# the latter, then it is t!! uch t! as&(
Fran&l', all this is a little b!rin"(
,et us ta&e a n!%elist8in8the8cupb!ard peep at Tar9uin( He has alread' ana"ed t! cra)l
!ut !# his tepid bed and li#t the )ind!) sash( The si"ht !# the sn!) dis"usts hi( B' instinct he
h!ps bac& and dra)s the c!%ers up t! his chin, tr'in" t! hurl hisel# bac& int! drea )ith s&inn'
#er!cit'( N! "!!d( Then he reebers the drea he )as ha%in" and br!!ds pleasantl' up!n it( 4
"irl !n a ri%erban&( Or b!'* .t )!uld be better as a b!' !n a %erdant ban&, a =retan sa##r!n "atherer
n!), that )as the thee( Th!u still unra%ished bride !# 9uietness( Ver' little in Tar9uin/s dreas
reains unra%ished( . &n!) because he tells e ab!ut the2 )e discuss the t!"ether, e6aine
te6tb!!&s t! see )hat caused the, and "enerall' ps'ch!l!"i;e( F!r his bene#it, n!t ine( F!rt'
'ears !# pi!us intr!specti!n ha%e "i%en hi a n!se E&e a bl!!dh!und #!r his !)n )ea&nesses( .n
this case it is =lare, )h! li%es in the b!6 r!! at the end !# the landin"( . sa' +in this case,+ in
!rder t! pretend that he d!es n!t al)a's drea ab!ut =lare( But this is untrue( He seld! dreas !#
an'!ne s! !#ten !r s! !istl', as he d!es !# this tall blac& dancin" aster )ith the sparr!)/s
&n!)in"ness and the c!c&ne' t)ist !# the t!n"ue( There#!re the !rnin"s are pleasantl' spent in
anal';in" his unhapp' passi!n and enterin" the #indin"s in that l!n"8n!sed diar' !# his( .# the
drea )as )et he "i%es hisel# #ull ar&s ?subliated@2 i# dr', arid, and intellectual then he "ets
)!rried ?repressed@( There is a "ra%e alar in the air #!r the healthiness !# his +li#e se6ual+ ?such a
daint' pre8Raphaelite arran"eent !# th!se clinical ters, d!n/t '!u &n!)@( O%er brea&#ast )e
rearran"e the clinical schee, and b!lster up his c!ura"e #!r hi( .t is an endless "ae !# chess
)ith his ps'che( Tar9uin/s e##ecti%e )!r&in" li#e is spent l'in" !n his bac&, and catechi;in" hisel#(
His spirit di%ides itsel# int! t)! essences, pictured b' the )!rds 5uesti!n and 4ns)er2 and he
s)ears t! be 9uite h!nest )ith hisel#, th!u"h he d!es n!t 9uite &n!) )hat he eans b' this(
H!nest' and clear thin&in" are the "eneral idea, h!)e%er, #!ll!)ed b' lar"eness, sc!pe, and a #ine
b!ld spiritual desi"n(
But =lare, !n a !rnin" li&e this* He is pain#ull' dressed, crac&in" a ne) pac&et !# candles
and #illin" the sc!nces( The &ettle is b!ilin"( =lare is that unhapp' cr'in" #!r a b!'/s b!d' at s!e
h!ur !# the e%enin", !r a #e) scrapp', ill8c!nsidered phrases in that re!te diar', in
)hiche%er'thin" ust be entered be#!re he dies( =lare* The dirt' little brute )ith the bitten
#in"ernails( =lare is this #atal )!rld )hich '!u can see i# '!u stand at the )ind!)( The l!n"
c!ncrete r!ad, its pure )hite nap n!) "!u"ed and uddied b' the rubber lips !# the buses, the
carts, the #eet !# the ants( =lare is this !rnin", ad%ancin" sta"e b' sta"e, "ril', pain#ull', li&e a
paral'tic2 the crisp !rnin" s!unds2 the e""s #r'in"2 the l!aded tra's !%in" ab!ut2 the "e'sers
runnin" in little spurts and "all!ps, and the stea8lea&in" int! the landin"s2 !r the #i"ure !# ,!b! in
diinishin" perspecti%e !n the r!ads( 4ctuall' =lare is n!thin" !# the s!rt( When Tar9uin thin&s
ab!ut hi his #ace is the #ace !# a br!&en8d!)n actuar'(
But . a n!t here t! interpret hi, n!r e%en t! a&e hi "r!)( . sipl' put hi t! bed !n
paper a!n" a #e) rand! s'llables !# En"lish( .n an at!sphere s! h!el' !ne can !nl' help
!nesel# and h!pe #!r the best( But =lare*
Tar9uin raps !n his d!!r pril' )ith the air !# the Ra%en( His dressin" "!)n #l!)s !%er
hi in e6!tic #!lds( Or else he bar&s +=lare+ !nce, li&e a siren, and enters( .t is al)a's the sae(
There is n! ans)er( Once the d!!r is !pen there is n!thin" t! d! but t! stare in !n the cust!ar'
)rec&a"e !# the b!6 r!!( The usual #!ul litter !# shirts and pants dec!rates the bare lin!leu( The
)ind!) is !pen and the sn!) has been bl!)in" !nt! the bed, the #l!!r, the table( The "i"!l! is
hidden(
Tar9uin calls, +=lare(+ N! ans)er !r !%eent( The bed i"ht be nestlin" a c!rpse( The
)all is a s!lid ass !# ph!t!"raphs> dance steps t!rn #r! trade -!urnals )hich !%es sl!)l' in the
)ind:the )h!le )all, . ean, as i# it )ere ab!ut t! c!llapse !n hi( Tar9uin be"ins )al&in"
ar!und, e6ainin" the pictures pretendin" he is interested in the( Fr! the !pen d!!r he l!!&s
li&e a aiden aunt %isitin" the ;!!, !r the 4cade'( He hates hisel#, it is !b%i!us( Wh' d!es he
)!rr' =lare al)a's li&e this* Wh' can/t he lea%e hi al!ne* The dirt' little beast7 4#ter all,dirt'>
because s!eh!) the si"ht !# =lare/s r!! )ith its sn!) and littered underpants is a ra)
a)a&enin" #r! the id'l, the 1arl!)es9ue drea !# the ri%erban&, and the delicate c!pulati!n !#
Narcissi( 4s usual he d!es n!t dan literature, but dans =lare, )h! cann!t li%e up t! the literar'
reputati!n )hich has been in%ented #!r hi( 4ll this is interestin" t! the silent partner, the
c!n#idant( . a n!t called up!n t! rear&, !r t! su""est, !r e%en t! adit ' !)n presence( 1erel'
t! e6ist( . a the upire )h!se -ud"ent is ne%er e%en as&ed #!r( .t is underst!!d that . su##er #!r
Tar9uin in his terrible a##licti!n(
He ta&es a #e) turns ar!und the r!!, in such precise d!n/s paces that he al!st trips in the
sn!)' bits( On the )ashstand a c!b, thic& )ith dirt and "rease #r! H'las/ sable l!c&s2 !n the
pissp!t h!lder a thriller, #ace d!)n2 the b!!& he had lent the b!' !n the #irst da' !# his capai"n
#!r hi"her thin&in" and purer l!%e is deep in dust( The bed lap is !n( H'las is a#raid t! sleep in the
dar&( On the shel# is a br!&en enea s'rin"e and cart!n !# crab !intent( Tar9uin e6pl!res these
thin"s )ith dis"ust(
+=lare,+ he sa's, +"et up(+
He has al)a's pr!ised that he )!uld be"in t! ta&e a str!n" line )ith the "i"!l! !ne !#
these da's( $! +Bet up(+ The truncated b!d' raises itsel# "ril' #r! the bed> b!rn a"ain !n the
third da'( =lare/s s!#t blac& curls han" !n end )ith a blue8blac& electric li#e !# their !)n( His
pill!) is "reas'( The 'ell!) "!at/s e'es stare !ut !# the )ind!), n!t seein" Tar9uin( He is n!t
pr!perl' a)a&e( 4t the si"ht !# ' beaut' sittin" up there in his dirt' sheets Tar9uin is an"r'( He
)!uld li&e t! ta&e a stic& and beat s!e decenc' int! hi( He c!es and stands behind e,
snappin", +Bet up, and d!n/t be such a la;' #ell!)(+ He is h!pin" that =lare )ill ia"ine the )!rds
cae #r! e( =lare si"hs, sittin" there, as 'ell!) as a p!tentate in the sn!)' 9uilt( ,i#ts his s!iled
#eet clear !# the bed, and la's the d!)n beside hi, c!nteplatin" the dirt' s!les(
Tar9uin a"itates the d!!r&n!b and rehearses e6its( He is an"r' but ner%!us )ith l!r%e(
+Ne6t thin" ./ll &n!),+ sa's =lare, +./ll )a&e up and #ind '!u in bed )ith e(+ This pr!duces a s!rt
!# insanit'( Tar9uin be"ins t! )histle( +.n bed,+ c!ntinues H'las, +ri"ht here in the bl!!d' bed )i%
e(+ .n all this . d! n!t e6ist( =ust! erel' has deanded ' presence(
Tar9uin b!unds d!)n the passa"e t! his r!!( 4s al)a's )hen he )al&s, the ener"' sees
dra)n t! his head, li&e a t!p, pullin" hi up !n his t!es( He l!c&s the d!!r l!udl', insultin"l'(
With!ut spea&in" he be"ins t! a&e tea( He is 9ui%erin" )ith ra"e( His "reat bald craniu shines( .
can see that he )ill n!t be able t! &eep a)a' a#ter all( H!)e%er, tea, su"ar, and a dr!p !# stale il&(
=ust! has rather staled this eternal ps'chic crisis, s! that . a n!t surprised )hen he #lin"s d!)n
his cup, and reaches #!r the d!!r a"ain( .n B!d is ' h!pe, th!u"h the 3e%il )ill ha%e sc!pe(
Tar9uin )hi;;es d!)n the passa"e t! the b!6 r!! li&e a pria d!nna, his r!be purlin" a#ter hi(
He bursts !pen the d!!r and stands still, starin" in #ull !n the 'ell!) e'es( His res!luti!n t! insult,
t! in-ure, t! ra%a"e, diss!l%es inside hi( His %er' "uts are li9ue#ied b' ra"e and c!ntriti!n( He is
s! huble n!), s! plainti%e, s! #ull !# e6pressi!n, s! d!cile, s! in l!%e( .t is ast!undin", this
chan"e( Then, li&e a bl!) in the s!lar ple6us, =lare/s 'ell!) %!ice, +B! a)a'(+ B!ister!usl' he
'ells, +Bet t! #uc&in" hell !ut !# here and lee be, )ill 'er*+
The )!rld is laid !ut be#!re the #ire li&e a chessb!ard !n )hich )e plan the !st e6citin"
!%es( .t is !nl' a "ae( Tar9uin is runnin" bare#!!ted !n the sc!rched =retan r!c&s, )hile the
dar&8e'ed shepherd is all!)in" hisel# t! be !%erta&en, t! be "athered up, c!%ered in &isses(
.nstead !# his "aunt strin"' b!d' he sh!uld reall' ha%e a #ine lithe trun&( 4nd a sheeps&in( N!t t!
enti!n a #lute( +A!u )ill n!t !c& e,+ he sa's seri!usl', +because . can see in '!ur #ace that '!u
belie%e in l!%e( .n d'in" #!r l!%e(+ He h!lds a spatulate #in"er bet)een us, )hich )e c!nteplate,
as i# e6pectin" it t! die there, %isibl', in the air( +N!) Bre"!r' c!uld ne%er see ' p!int !# %ie) at
all( .t )as t!! str!n" and p!siti%e #!r hi, . thin&(+ .n silence )e are "ulpin" the c!ld sn!), the h!t
tea, the h!tel, the "e'sers, the stric&en pines, the statues, the 'ell!) "!at/s e'es( 4nd . a
p!nderin" !n Bre"!r' and Brace and the curi!us desi"n he ade !# the b!th in the little "reen
hand)ritin"( Bre"!r' as a s!rt !# chessan, a little "reen bish!p, entan"led in his pa)n, and
)ritin" )ith the 9uiet %en! !# a pla'er )h! has #!r"!tten the rules( The b!!& )hich is ' secret,
in the cupb!ard d!)nstairs(
+The presence !# !nesel#7+ That is h!) he be"ins( +The eternal c!nsci!usness !# !nesel# in
substance and in ps'che( The eternal c!nsci!usness !# that shad!) )hich han"s behind '
sh!ulder, )atchin" e #l!urish ' in& !n this nude paper( What a recipe #!r i!rtalit'7 The !ne
sel# and the !ther, li&e t)in "enerals di%ided in p!lic', bun"lin" a )ar( The eternal, abh!rrent
presence !# !nesel#(+ $all "reen )ritin" li&e lace)!r& !n the t!u"h pa"es !# the blan& du'(
Wh! Bre"!r')as . ha%e n!t pr!perl' disc!%ered 'et( This tin' baseent r!! )as e%identl' his(
4t s!e ep!ch in hist!r' he %anished, lea%in" behind hi a #e) "r!ss !# t!rn papers, ,atin
classics, "ra!ph!ne rec!rds, teacups( On the title pa"e !# this b!!&, undated, is the inscripti!n>
3eath Bre"!r', Es9( T! his !st esteeed and best bel!%ed sel#, dat dedi8cat9ue( Obli%i!n has
s)all!)ed up this chance e%icti!n, and there reains !nl' the 9ueer spec&led pers!nalit' !# this
t!e, s! durable and recent in a"e ?#!r Tar9uin and =lare and ,!b! e6ist here@ that it su""ests
recent %isitati!ns( . cann!t be !lder than a th!usand 'ears( +. a n!t spea&in" !# ' is!lati!n as
'et, )hich is si6 b' three( The is!lati!n !# a c!##in( The is!lati!n !# a "ar"!'le hun" !%er a sleepin"
cit'(+
The is!lati!n !# the sn!), he )!uld ha%e added, i# he )ere turnin" the pa"es t!da'( The
is!lati!n in )hich the h!tel br!!ds, li&e a bar!9ue incubus(
Here be"ins an e6tract #r! Bre"!r'/s diar'>
The 9uesti!n )ith )hich . tr!uble 'sel# is the 9uesti!n !# the e"!, the little e( The .,
sittin" here in this #u""' r!!, li&e a little red8haired, s&ullcapped <!pe, insultin" 'sel# in "reen
in&( The red d)ar#, the lutin, the tr!ll:the dr!ll abh!rrent sel#7
$)eets t! the s)eet( T! ,!b! sensual lust( 4nd #!r the -!urnalist ine%itabl', a -!urnal( 4
-!urnal7 What a delici!us e6cursi!n it s!unds7 The path lies read', the #ruit "r!)s !n the
hed"esides( But the stupend!us arr!"ance !# such a rec!rd7 What sh!uld it c!ntain, then* 4
pedestrian rec&!nin" b' the sun, !r aph!ristic #li"hts, !r a !ent!us stud' !# ' e6creti!ns
c!%erin" 'ears* 4 di"est !# all three, perhaps( One can hardl' tell( N! atter( ,et us be"in )ith
,!b!( T! insects sensual lust( 4nd t! ,!b! a %ict!r' !%er the #eale, because that is )hat he )ants(
. sa' %ict!r' but . ean a r!ut> a real beatin" up !# his natural ene', )h! de"rades hi b' the #act
that she carries the puissant, the all8c!n9uerin" talisan !# the %a"ina ab!ut )ith her( .# it )ere
p!ssible t! in%ent a detached %a"ina, )hich has an e##ecti%e li#e !# its !)n, then ,!b! )!uld be a
pr!#!und is!"'nist, . a sure(
But c!nsider hi, as he sits there, )!r&in" !%er the en!r!us parchent chart !# $!uth
,!nd!n( =!nsider the lil'( E%er' )ee& a#ter a certain lecture, he ta&es it d!)n #r! the )all, and
"ets bus' !n it )ith his t!!ls> c!passes, pr!tract!rs, di%iders, his .ndia in& )hich hardens in
shinin" lines al!n" the th!r!u"h#ares2 his pencil b!6 #ull !# rubbers, tapes, staps( On the blac&
)!!d is a "arish c!c&at!!( This reinds hi !# <eru, th!u"h )h', he cann!t thin&( .n his
childh!!d there )ere b!6es !# !ran"es )ith this bird painted !n the(
<erhaps that is the reas!n( But it reinds hi !# ,ia, sittin" !ut there !n the ap, a
beauti#ul "ra' hus& !# li#e( ,ia, )ith the parr!ts and the !ran"es, and the al!nd8e'ed )h!res,
and the cathedrals, delicate, delicate( . in%ent this, because th!u"h he is incapable !# sa'in" it t!
e, 'et he #eels it( 3ust, the eternal dust al!n" the hi"hr!ad, and the huc&sters, and #ine s)ish
!t!rcars, and ler%( The #acile, h!t ,atin ler%, )ith its ne)t/s e'es #i6ed !n an'!ne read' t! ease
'!u !# a thible#ul !# sper( $unli"ht al!n" the lips !# shutters, !r the "uitars )!bin" !%er the
Biac, h!t and seas!ned( 4nd the s!ur b!!in" !# an' steeples, $ant! 3!in"!, $an 4u"ustin,
,a 1erced( He iitates their h!ll!) n!ises, raisin" his hand and &eepin" hisel# in tie )ith his
e!ries(
Fascinatin" t! )atch hi sittin" there, this little br!)n an, pennin" his ap2 his thin "irl/s
#in"ers )ith their ipressed cuticles care#ull' unst!ppin" b!ttles, cleanin" nibs, clutchin" a
penh!lder as the' !%e #!r)ard t! letter !r dra)( ,!b! is as uch !# an eni"a t! e as this
#antastic l!calit' !# blind h!uses and s!&e )hich he is dra)in" ust be t! hi(
<erhaps the rear& ab!ut the insect )as a little str!n", #!r it is n!t ' business t! raise '
!)n standards t! the hei"ht !# an ipartial can!n( But it sees t! e accurate( The #eale is a
catal'st, unrelated t! li#e, t! an'thin" but this !t!r necessit' )hich "r!)s "reater da' b' da'(
,!b! . <erhaps this all has s!ethin" t! d! )ith his h!esic&ness, his ,atin tears and "l!!s(
What . a c!ncerned )ith is the eni"a, n!t these er!tic aneu%ers, all carried !ut !n the plane !#
ner%', #ebrile s!cial )el#are2 the &ind !# thin" ,a8cl!s did s! %i%idl'( +1' B!d,+ he sa's
s!eties, +. thin&ne%er t! "! )ith )!ans an' !re, ne%er( Wh' is the 'ster'* 4#ter)ards
)hat* A!u are dead, '!u are dis"ust( $ell7 .t is ip!ssible( . "! al!n" the r!ad, pure as a
=ath!lic, then . see a )!an l!!& t! e and ( ( (+ His hea%' head bends l!)er !%er the chart2 the
c!pressi!ns "ather in the chee&s under his b!ss' .nca n!se2 he is silent, and it is a little di##icult t!
#ind an'thin" t! sa' in repl'(
,!b! has the #ascinati!n !# an ancient stap #!r e( . can/t "et past the th!u"ht !# this little
,atin #ell!) sittin" in his r!! ni"ht a#ter ni"ht, )!r&in" li&e ,uci#er #!r his de"ree2 and all the
)hile his ind riddled )ith th!u"hts !# h!e, li&e a pincushi!n( He adits it( +.t is ' h!e
a&es e blue, dear #riend( . thin& in bed !# <eru an' ni"ht and . cann!t sleep( . put the )ireless
till t)el%e( Then . "! ad al!st( That bitch ne6/ d!!r( . can &ill her )hen . a al!ne( ,isten( ,ast
ni"ht . ade a ,ittle deceit #!r her( Trul'( . )eeped in the ni"ht( .t )as 9uiet( . )eeped a little
l!uder( N!thin"( . )eeped li&e hell( Reall' . )as l!nel', it )as true, but n!t real the tears( . c!uld
n!t a&e the real tears( ,isten, . heard her put the li"ht and sit in the bed l!!&in"( Then . )ent !n
)ith the tears( Then she spea&s>Wh! is it* . )as n!t &n!)in" h!) t! spea&( . had n! )!rds( $!!n
she put !## the li"ht and la'( N! "!!d( . ran t! the d!!r and &n!c& it %er' 9uietl'( . sa', .t/s !nl'
e, 1iss Venable( N!thin"( . tap tap tap but n!thin"( . )as an"r'( . sni## li&e hell, but n!thin"( N!
"!!d( The dirt' bitch( 4#ter that . )ent t! bed and reall' )eep, . )et the pill!) all thr!u"h, . a s!
an"r' . c!uld &ill(+ His e'es dilate earnestl' under the s!!t' lashes( 4t such e!ries he bec!es
pure e!ti!nal idealis( ,i&e the Vir"in 1ar'( He )ill cut hisel# !ne !# these da's #!r ler%, he
sa's( . c!n#ess . did n!t &n!) )hat this phrase eant until the ni"ht !# the #esti%al, )hen )e
returned at three t! drin& a #inal ni"htcap in his r!!( He )as prett' drun&(
+Kn!) )hat . d! )hen a an a&e e an"r'*+ he as&ed( He e6pl!red the )ashstand
dra)er and appeared be#!re e )ith a &ni#e in his ri"ht hand( He )as s! "entle and #riendl' that #!r
a sec!nd . )as a#raid( +$ee this,+ he said, and handed it t! e as sipl' as a "irl( .t )as an
en!r!us #!ldin" &ni#e, sharpened t! "reat &eenness(
+. cut hi,+ said ,!b!, unsteadil'(
Ta&in" it #r! e he di%ided the air )hich separated us neatl' int! #!ur p!rti!ns, "rinned
beati#icall', and replaced the )eap!n in its secret hidin" place( When he tal&s li&e this, then, it is an
enra"ed hara8&iri that he plans:!r a urder(
But c!n#idence #!r c!n#idence ,!b! #inds e a %er' unsatis#act!r' pers!n( 1' huilit'
de%astates hi( <articularl' ' c!plete i"n!rance !n the sub-ect !# )!en( He sa's in t!nes !#
"ra%it' and )!nder> +A!u* 4 an !# #!rt', an En"lishan*+ Reall', t! be #ran&, i# !ne ust be
#ran&, . ha%e bad #e) and unsatis#act!r' e6periences in this directi!n( ,iterar' a##airs )ith a"in"
B!heians, in )hich ' abilit' t! c!pare the st'le !# Hu6le' t! that !# Flaubert )as c!nsidered
!re ip!rtant, e%en in bed, than ph'sical "i#ts2 a st!c&br!&er/s )id!)2 an e6periental a##air )ith
an e6periental painter, in )hich a"ain, !ur utual respect #!r the %!luetric pr!p!rti!ns !#
=e;anne/s can%ases )as al!st !ur !nl' b!nd( 4##inities, '!u i"ht sa'( . supp!se in this directi!n
. ust be rather a dead batter' until . eet Brace( ,!b! is b!red( 4n En"lishan !# #!rt'* Well it
ust ha%e been #!rt' 'ears in the )ilderness #!r all the ad%entures . can rec!unt( Ne%er ind( .
c!#!rt 'sel# )ith <ascal/s rear& ab!ut the thin&in" reed(
=haberlain is n!t less scathin"( This canar'8haired ;eal!t li%in" in !ne !# the #lats nearb'
)ith a '!un" )i#e and three d!"s, spends his !ents happil' lecturin" us !n such es!teric
sub-ects( +$e6, se6, se6,+ he e6clais r!undl', his anner cl!sel' !deled !n the st'le !#
,a)rence/s letters( +When )ill )e "et the bastards t! reali;e*+ Fraterni;in" in the barr!! a!n"
the blue spitt!!ns( He is p!)er#ul and c!n%incin", standin" !%er his litter, and appealin" t! his )i#e
#!r supp!rt( +Bl!r' be t! hip, butt!c&, l!in,!re #eraru, bestiaru, uterine t!b!""an, and the
)h!le "aut !# ph'sical #un( 3!n/t '!u thin&* What ab!ut !re b!)els !# c!passi!n, tenderness,
and the real )arth !# the "uts, eh*+
Reall' . a scalded b' this curi!us $al%ati!n 4r' line !# tal&( Bad taste( Bad taste(
Tar9uin )inces and bleats )hene%er =haberlain "ets started(
+,et us in%ent a ne) !rder !# arria"e t! re%i%e the dead( Ha%e an!ther beer( ,et us start a
ne) the!r' !# c!nnubial c!pulati!n )hich )ill "et the )!rld pr!perl' #uc&ed #!r a chan"e( Tar9uin,
'!u/re n!t listenin" t! e, dan '!u(+
Tar9uin bleats> +Oh, d! st!p #!rcin" these sill' ideas !n !ne, =haberlain( A!u sipl'
)!n/t adit !ther pe!ple/s teperaental di##erences( $hut up(+
He is !ppin" the #r!th !## his beer )ith a disc!l!red t!n"ue( =haberlain turns t! his
)i#e, )h! is standin", breathin" 9uietl', li&e a bi" retrie%er> +What d! '!u thin&* Tell e(+ $he
pre#ers t! sile and p!nder rather than thin&( +There,+ sa's =haberlain in triuph, +she a"rees(+
+4ll this daned se6ual the!ri;in",+ !ans Tar9uin( +3!n/t '!u thin&, Bre"!r'* . ean
dan it7+
+3!n/t '!u a"ree )ith hi,+ sa's =haberlain( +N!) Bre"!r', '!u/re 9uite a "!!d little
#ell!) !n '!ur !)n(+
+A!un" an,+ . sa' )ea&l'(
+Oh, . &n!) '!u/re a patriarch in 'ears, but that/s ere chr!n!l!"'( A!u need t! "r!) a bit(+
+Oh, d! st!p,+ sa's Tar9uin, acutel' iserable(
+The tr!uble )ith '!u, ' dear,+ sa's =haberlain, +is that '!u/re still #i"htin" thr!u"h the
dead ast!id( N!) )hat '!u need ( ( (+
4nd s! !n( One re%!lts #r! transcribin" an' !re !# his chat, because it bec!es
in#ecti!us a#ter a tie( His pers!nalit' is attracti%e en!u"h t! a&e an' d!"a plausible and
c!pellin" t! the ia"inati!n( 4s #!r ,!b!, the' spend h!urs 9uarrelin" ab!ut thees d!estic
and er!tic( This al)a's ends in tr!uble( +,isten, Baudelaire,+ sa's =haberlain, +'!u/%e "!t
'!ursel# up a tree( =lib d!)n and ta&e a l!!& r!und '!u(+ When he reall' )ants t! #ri"hten the
$paniard he su""ests callin" his )i#e in and puttin" these pr!bles be#!re her( This is hide!us(
,!b!/s sense !# chi%alr' s9uirs at the idea( Tear#ull', under his sentiental e'elashes he sa's,
a#ter =haberlain has "!ne> +4 beast* Eh* He is beastl'( 3!esn/t he ha%e the #iner #eelin"s* His
p!!r )i#e, li&e a pr!stitute in his h!e( .t is terrible, terrible( He !nl' understands the pr!stitute,
n!t thereal )!an( He is terrible(+ 4nd a strin" !# $panish !aths(
F!" !%er the "ardens( F!", archin" d!)n a!n" the pines, a&in" di st!ne th!se
parcels !# Bree& statuar'( .n the distance trains burr!)in" their tunnels !# s!&e and disc!rd(
,i"hts shine !ut )anl' a"ainst the buildin"s( The redn!sed c!ercials )ill be linin" up in the bar
#!r their drin&s( . can see the )his&' runnin" int! their red !uths, under the tabb' )his&ers, li&e
urine( . sit there, in the shad!) !# the parchent chart, s!&in", and eatin" the s!#t s&in !n the
sides !# ' chee&s( The cust!ar' adness !# the suburban e%enin" c!es d!)n !%er us in an'
en!r!us 'a)ns( Ennui( +We d! n!t e6ist,+ sa's Tar9uin( +We d! n!t e6ist2 )e are #icti!ns(+ 4nd
#ran&l' this idea is n!t as !utra"e!us as it s!unds( T!)ard e%enin", )hen . )al& d!)n the r!) !#
suburban h!uses, )atchin" the blinds l!)ered t! salute the da'/s death, )ith n! c!pani!n but that
unicipal d!n&e' the p!stan, . #ind 'sel# in a )!rld !# illusi!n )h!se #urniturecan !nl' be
"h!sts( .n the l!un"e the %eterans sit li&e $t!nehen"e under the di##use li"ht !# the laps( Old
)!en stuc& li&e clups !# cactus in their chairs( The Ties is spread !ut !%er the dead, li&e
)ashin" hun" !ut !n bushes t! dr'( F!!tsteps and %!ices ali&e tr!dden !ut in the dust' carpets2 and
the #aint ae!lian s!#as appealin" t! the statues( Ni"ht( The cl!c& )hirrs inside its "reenh!use !#
"lass, and the 0apanese #ans breathe a s!#t %e"etable deca' int! the r!!( There is n!thin" t! d!,
n!thin" t! be d!ne(
.n the #lat that ' b!d' inhabits, the silence is s!eties s! hea%' that !ne has the
sensati!n !# )adin" thr!u"h it( ,!!&in" up #r! the b!!& t! hear the s!#t sp!ndees !# the "as #ire
s!undin" acr!ss n!thin"ness, . a suddenl' a)are !# the li%es p!tential in e )hich are )astin"
thesel%es( .t is a #anc' !# ine, that each !# us c!ntains an' li%es, p!tential li%es( The' are laid
up inside us, shall )e sa', li&e s! an' r!)s !# shinin" etals:rail)a' lines( Ridin" al!n" !ne set
t!)ard the terinus, )e can be a)are !# th!se !ther lines, al!n"side us, !n )hich )e i"ht ha%e
tra%eled:!n )hich )e i"ht 'et tra%el i# !nl' )e had the stren"th t! chan"e( A!u 'a)n* This is
sipl' '8)a' !# sa'in" . a l!nel'( .t is in these !%eents, l!!&in" up t! #ind the )h!le ni"ht
"athered at ' elb!), that . 9uesti!n the li#e . a leadin", and #ind it a little lac&in"( The 9uiet
stateent !# a )!an/s lau"h, brea&in" #r! the ser%ants/ r!!s acr!ss the silence, a##licts e( .
c!nsider 'sel# "ra%el' in irr!rs these da's( . )ear ' s&ullcap a tri#le "ril', as i# in
a##irati!n !# the li#e . ha%e ch!sen( Aet at ni"ht s!eties . a a)are, as !# an ipendin"
t!!thache, !# the "re"ari!us #iber !# e( 3ear e( This is bec!in" #ine )ritin" in the anner !#
the $it8)ells( But let e discuss 'sel# a little in "reen in&, since n! !ne ta&es the tr!uble t! d! s!
in )!rds !# !re than !ne s'llable( .n the #irst place, ' nae in n!t3eath, as it !u"ht t! be, but
Herbert( The dis"ustin", chees', <ep'sian s!rt !# nae )hich . )!uld pa' t! chan"e i# . )ere rich
en!u"h( 3eath is part !# the little charade . c!nstruct ar!und 'sel# t! a&e ' da's t!lerable(
3eath Bre"!r'7 H!) li%id the nae shines !n the title pa"e !# this t!e( B!rr!)ed plues, . a
#!rced t! adit in this little #it !# #uri!us sincerit'( B!rr!)ed #r! T!urneur !r 1arst!n( N!
atter( The sh!) ust "! !n(
1' estate, t! descend t! the le%el !# <ep's, is in a neat and satis#'in" c!nditi!n( 4 li#el!n"
s'path' )ith =!unis has ne%er pre%ented e #r! in%estin" sa#el', h!ardin" thri#til', and
li%in" as #inel' ec!n!ic as p!ssible( This eans ' tastes are s'baritic( On bread . ha%e ne%er
)asted a penn', but an !ccasi!nal )ine !# 9ualit' #inds its )a' int! the trap8d!!red baseent . call
' cellar( The b!!&s . !)n are ipeccable:the #ine bindin"s lie al!n" the )all in the #ireli"ht,
sn!!;in" s!#tl' in richness( Dnli&e !st en, . read )hat . bu'( The table . &eep is #ru"al but
ch!ice( The b!ard d!es n!t "r!an, but then neither d!es the "uest, ha ha( Taste and st'le in all
thin"s, . sa' t! 'sel# )ith rapture, taste and st'le7 Neat but n!t "aud', #ine but unad!rned7 4ll !#
)hich a&es these n!stal"ic !!ds s! inc!prehensible, s! daned unreas!nable2 #!r ha%e . n!t
ch!sen the li#e !# reas!n and !derati!n as ' pr!per #ield*
=haberlian is in the habit !# sa'in"> +O# c!urse, ' dear, '!ur s'ste is b!und t! brea&
d!)n s!!ner !r later( Or else the s'ste )ill stand and'!u )ill brea& d!)n inside it( ./ all #!r
ti"htr!pe acts, and #a&irs, and tr!lle's #ull !# pins, pr!%ided the' entertain( A!u d! n!t( A!u are
)al&in" a ti"htr!pe )ith n! sa#et' net under it, and it b!res( Bre"!r' $t'lites, c!e d!)n #r!
'!ur perch and ha%e a slice !# ha(+ 4ll this, h!)e%er iprecise, is %a"uel' dis9uietin", sittin"
here !%er the #ire, )ith a cal#8b!und <ascal and a "lass !# dr' !chr!us sherr' !n the table( $uch a
c!#!rtin" s'ste a#ter all7 $! sa#e, s! cast8ir!n in c!nstructi!n7 $uch a cle%er de%ice, )hen all/s
said and d!ne( But then, i# !ne d!es n!t #it a s'ste* That is the 9uesti!n( . a reinded !# the
little #!rula )hich he tac&s !n the end !# his cust!ar' "!!d ni"ht, )hene%er he calls> +Well,
"!!d ni"ht,+ he sa's ins!lentl'( +Brand sh!) '!u put !n(+ There is a 9ualit' in all this )hich ruins
' #acade2 . a less sure !# 'sel#> . )ince in a 9uaint sch!!lb!' ner%!usness( N!t that . sh!) the
least si"n !# it, . #latter 'sel#( N!( 1' c!ntr!l is per#ect, ' p!ise al!st "e!l!"ical in its #i6it'( .
+carr'+ ' s&ullcap )ith distincti!n n!ne the less, #!r . a as pr!ud as ,uci#er( But it is a little
b!!rish !# hi t! pretend that ' !dish chars d! n!t t!uch hi at all( . li&e his )i#e better(
True, she ta&es her cue #r! hi and tries t! #ind e ausin", but she can scent that little <russian
c!re !# pride in e( $he is a little a)ed, in spite !# hersel#, at th!se 9ualities )hich ' s&ullcap is
intended t! su""est( $hall . b!re '!u )ith a discussi!n !n the intuiti!n !# )!en* .t is a sub-ect .
&n!) n!thin" )hats!e%er ab!ut( But that sh!uld n!t dis9uali#' e #r! )ritin" ab!ut it( Here is
paper, se%en pa"es c!%ered, here is in&, and here is that is!lati!n )hich breeds an' #antastic
n!ti!ns in ' pen( .# '!u are a##licted b' ' tedi!usness, ta&e heart( This i"ht ha%e been a n!%el
instead !# an'thin" s! pleasantl' an!n'!us as a diar'(
Tal&in" !# l!neliness, since )e ust tal& t!ni"ht, !r su##er the silence t! bec!e
unbearable> Tar9uin is als! a su##erer #r! this alad', this "e!etrical insanit' !# da' #!ll!)ed
b' ni"ht #!ll!)ed b' da', etc( But his stud' !# hisel# is s! strenu!us that he is in a uch )!rse
c!nditi!n( Tar9uin is alread' behind the screens, attended b' the !ne #atal nurse !# the e"!( His
researches ha%e been rapidl' a&in" a )rec& !# hi( =!ple6, inhibiti!n, #etish, traua:the
)h!le erde8ridden terin!l!"' !# the ne) ps'ch!l!"' han"s #r! his l!)er lip, li&e a ci"arette in
the !uth !# a chain s!&er( +One ust e6pl!re !nesel#, d!n/t '!u thin&* One ust tr' and reduce
!ne/s li#e t! s!e s!rt !# !rder, d!n/t '!u thin&* What d! '!u thin& !# =ath!licis, Bre"!r'*
$!eties . "et such a #eelin" !# de%!ti!n it/s li&e bein" in l!%e, s!rt !# raped b' c!nteplati!n(
3!es ,!b! &n!) an'thin"* . ust as& hi( . used t! #aint at !ne tie, and ha%e dreas !r %isi!ns,
)hat )!uld '!u call the* Traua, it sees li&e acc!rdin" t! the b!!&s( Real #its, li&e epileps',
)hat d! '!u sa'* Eh*+ 4nd s! !n( The terin!l!"ies !# the!l!"' and ps'ch!l!"' runnin" nec& and
nec&, each !utd!in" the !ther in %a"ueness( 3uns $c!tus and Freud( 4dler and 4u"ustine(
+. supp!se !ne reall' !u"ht t! read the best b!!&s,+ he sa's h!pelessl'( +One ust culti%ate
!ne/s "arden li&e )h! )as it said* One/s taste and all that( But that daned .liad, Bre"!r', h!nestl'
. can/t "et !n )ith it( 4nd pictures, t!!( =hrist, .l!!& at the, but it d!esn/t ean !re than )hat/s
there( . d!n/t #eel the(+
E%er' n!) and then he has a s'philis scare, and !## he tr!ts t! the h!spital t! ha%e a bl!!d
test( The %a"ueness !# the Wasserann t!rents hi( One can ne%er be certain, can !ne* $tandin"
na&ed beside his bed he )hac&s a)a' at his re#le6es )ith a rubber trunche!n2 cl!ses his e'es and
#inds that, standin" )ith his #eet t!"ether, he d!es n!t #all( Or he )ill pace up and d!)n the #l!!r,
pausin" t! e6aine the icr!ph!t!"raphs !# spir!chetes )hich han" !%er his c!tta"e pian!( Wh' is
his chest sp!tt'* Wh' is he al)a's s! run d!)n* .s it lac& !# calciu !r )hat*
E%er'thin" is plausible here, because n!thin" is real( F!r"i%e e( The barriers !# the
e6pl!red )!rld, the di%isi!ns, the c!rrid!rs, the e!ries:the' s)eep d!)n !n us in a catharsis
!# iser', ri%in" us( . a li&e a child le#t al!ne in these c!rrid!rs, these a%enues !# sleepin" d!!rs
a!n" the statuar', )ith n! #riends but an audience !# 'a)nin" b!!ts( . a bein" h!nest )ith '!u
#!r !nce, ., 3eath Bre"!r', the !n&e' !n the stic&( .# . )ere t! pric& !ut ' hist!r' #!r '!u, as
,!b! his plans !n the ature parchent, )!uld '!u be able t! c!prehend #!r an instant the
si"ni#icance !# the act* . d!ubt it(( .n the #ield !# hist!r' )e all share the irrele%ance !# painted
thin"s( . ha%e !nl' this p!rti!n !# tie in )hich t! su##er(
The reals !# hist!r', then7 The #act a"ical, the #anc' )!nder#ul, the #act treas!nable( 4ll
#iltered, liited, thr!u"h the )retched instruents !# the sel#( The se%ent' illi!n ./s )h!se #!cus
ebraces these phen!ena and rec!rds the !n the plate !# the ind( The sin"ularit' !# the )!rld
)!uld be inspiritin" i# !ne did n!t #eel there )as a catch in it( When . )as nine the ha""ard #eale
"uardian in )h!se care . had been le#t e6claied> +H!rses s)eat, Herbert(Bentleen perspire(
3!n/t sa' that nast' )!rd an' !re(+ . shall ne%er #!r"et the phrase2 it )ill reain )ith e until .
die:al!n" )ith that !ther useless and ineradicable luber:the pr!%erbs, practices, and precepts
!# a dead li#e in a dead land( .t is, a#ter all, the !ne peranent thin", the !ne unchan"in" ilest!ne
!n the clib( .t is . )h! chan"e2 c!nstant, li&e a landar& !# the l!calit', the luber reains( ,i&e
a la&e seen #r! di##erent altitudes durin" a -!urne', its p!siti!n ne%er %ar'in"> !nl' its aspect
alterin" in relati!n t! ' !)n place !n the landscape( . thin& that )hat )e are t! be is decided #!r
us in the #irst #e) 'ears !# li#e2 )hat )e "ain a#ter)ard in the )a' !# reas!n, ad-ustent, etc(, is
super#icial> a %eneer, )hich !nl' a""ra%ates !ur dis!rders( <erish the )ise, the see&ers a#ter reas!n(
. a that . a( The treas!nable sel# reains( . a n!t !re ast!nished n!) b' the &n!)led"e that
"entleen can, i# the' )ant, ha%e )in"s, than . )as b' that pith' s!cial #!rula2 !r, #!r e6aple,
that red bl!!d runs in #ishes( . shall ne%er be !re aa;ed(
N!t e%en the phen!en!n !# Brace disturbed ' li#e as uch as that "lipse !# the s!cial
'steries( H!rses s)eat, but Brace perspires2 %er' delicatel' !n the s!!th #lesh, !n the thin
#lan&s, under the tin' undern!urished breasts( The blue8%eined phthisic #in"ers are !ist and
lan"u!r!us( But )h' the present tense* F!r Brace is n! !re2 n! !re the street "irl )h! sat,
hu""in" her &nees, and starin" at the ept' )allpaper( $hall )e )rite !# her in the "n!ic a!rist*
$hall )e in%est her )ith an epitaph* $he )!uld n!t understand it( $he underst!!d n!thin"( $he
seeed n!t t! hear( A!u c!uld spea& t! her, sin" t! her, dance be#!re her, and the distances she
c!nteplated )ere n!t diinished b' !ne inch(
+=!e, Brace, '!u bitch,+ !ne said( +$h!) a si"n !# li#e( =!e n!), "i%e us a sile(+
,i&e an elab!rate circus per#!rer a sile )andered int! the !%al, disc!ns!late #ace( 4
"reat #eat !# c!ncentrati!n re9uired t! !%e the uscles !# the #ace c!rrectl' in silin"7 Her teeth
)ere sall and pure, )ith little "aps bet)een the :an arran"eent that su""ested c!n"enital
s'philis( Her creat!r reser%ed red bl!!d #!r #ishes and -!urnalists( .n Brace/s %eins #l!)ed ercur',
the purest distillati!n !# ic' etals(
Her s&in )as transparent al!st, and pale( One #elt that i# !ne t!!& a piece bet)een #in"er
and thub, and ripped d!)n)ard, sa' #r! &nee t! an&le, the )h!le epideris )!uld c!e a)a'
)etl', e##!rtlessl', li&e s!dden br!)n paper, clea%in" the #lesh and b!ne !pen( On her bac& as she
sat !n !ur inade9uate bed, . ha%e traced an' a curi!us #!re#in"er a!n" the s!#t "r!!%es and
lucent %ertebrae:c!l!rless nuts:pr!trudin" under their transparent c!%erin"( The )hite bl!!d
ne%er )ars ?tense a"ain7@, ne%er #illed her )ith delici!us shudders and tic&lin"s( $he i"ht ha%e
been dead #lesh, dead eat t! the )!rld !# the ale( <assi!n !nl' interested her in its !st ardent
c!nclusi!ns, and then such an incandescence sh!ne in her #ace, such %eins !%ed in c!ncentrati!n
!n her teples, such a leapin" tr!pic #lae dr!%e her #in"ernails t! a billet in her acc!plice/s
#lesh, that !ne )as reassured( $he )as ali%e, a#ter all, deep d!)n> at the teperature )hich elts
etals2 the b!ilin" p!int at the earth/s center )here the beds !# !re clan" t!"ether, and the h!t
a"a li9ue#ies ir!n and r!c&( $he )as ali%e behind this elab!rate ien !# detachent(
Bracie )as b!u"ht, )ith!ut an' bar"ainin", #!r the pr!ise !# a cup !# c!##ee( . reeber
it )as a ni"ht )hen the sn!) )as dri%in" up past the bi" =ath!lic =hurch s! thic&l' that it blinded
!ne( The r!ad )as buried( $he )as shi%erin" inside the thin cl!thes, the inade9uate c!%erin" !#
baubles and lipstic& )hich dec!rated her sall pers!n( The sn!) hun" in a "litterin" c!llar t! the
astra&han linin" !# her c!at( Wisps !# blac& hair #r!;e t! her chee&( Fr! her n!se hun" a dr!p !#
sn!t )hich she sni##ed bac& )hene%er she c!uld reeber t! d! s!( $he had n! hand&erchie#(
.nside the hall d!!r she st!!d passi%e, li&e an anial, )hile . )iped her #ace, her c!at c!llar,
her "rubb' cl!thes( Then . dr!%e her, passi%e and dull, d!)nstairs t! ' r!!, "uidin" her )ith
taps #r! ' cane( .n the harsh electric li"ht she st!!d a"ain, "ra%en, and stared #eebl' at this r!)
!# b!!&s, this littered des&( Then, spea&in" !# her !)n acc!rd #!r the #irst tie, she said, +.n /ere,
ister*+ 4 sall, hard %!ice, runnin" al!n" the !uter ed"es !# sanit'( . s)itched !n the #ire and
c!anded her t! appr!ach it( $l!)l' she did s!(
Re"ardin" her in silence, . )as alared b' the c!l!r her #ace had ta&en( .t )as that !# a
three8da' c!rpse( Dnder the s&in a #aint bluish tin"e )hich reinded e !# the shad!)s in sn!)(
+What/s '!ur nae*+
$he had a habit !# re"ardin" !ne #!r an a"e be#!re ans)erin", as i# deterinin" )hether the
truth )!uld !r )!uld n!t be a suitable )eap!n #!r the !ccasi!n( Her e'es dilated and she "a%e a
si"h, re!te, re!te, c!ncernin" n!thin" but her pri%ate pr!bles(
+Bracie(+
$n!) dripped #r! the bri !# her shabb' c!at( The tentacle !# hair !n her chee& had
tha)ed and hun" d!)n beside her n!se( $he )as )et thr!u"h, and dut'(
+A!u/d better ta&e !## th!se )et thin"s at !nce( There/s a dressin" "!)n in there( ./ll "et '!u
s!e c!##ee(+
When . returned she )as sittin" na&ed be#!re the electric #ire, )ith her &nees dra)n up t!
her chin( Her #lesh )as puc&ered )ith c!ld( +$!e brand' #irst,+ !ne said )ith heartiness,
bec!in" the edical an all at !nce, handin" her a "!blet( <!nderin", she dran& the drau"ht at a
"ulp, and then turned, her e'es dilatin" )arl', a sudden blush c!%erin" her #!rehead( F!r a sec!nd
she seeed ab!ut t! spea&, and then s!e interi!r pre!ccupati!n dre) a sin"le line !# )!rr' acr!ss
her #!rehead( With little une!ti!nal starts she be"an t! c!u"h up patches !# her lun", 9uite
dubl', li&e s!e s!rt !# anial( One "!t her a clean hand&erchie# #r! the dra)er and st!!d
l!!&in" d!)n at the a%erted head, a little ast!nished and dis"usted b' the per#ect rep!se !# the #ace
e%en in sic&ness(
+Well, this is a business( A!u/%e t(b(+
$he pla'ed the tric& !# starin" up )ith the e6pressi!nless blac& circles in her e'es, li&e a
blind cat( Then she l!!&ed a)a', nub and patient(
+4nd Brace, '!u/re #ilth'( A!u ust ha%e a bath(+
Her #eet )ere dirt', her #in"ernails, her ears( <assi%el' she all!)ed hersel# t! be scraped and
scrubbed )ith the l!!#ah> dried, curried, cha#ed, and sprin&led )ith nice astrin"ent eau de =!l!"ne(
$he t!!& n! n!tice, but practiced this peculiar e%asi!n, )hich !ne #!und s! e6citin"( 4#ter)ard in
' parr!t dressin" "!)n she c!c&ed her little #in"er at e !%er the c!##ee cup( .n that tin' %!ice
she "a%e e a #e) particulars ab!ut hersel#( $he )as ei"hteen and li%ed at h!e( Out !# )!r&( $he
)as interested in Bar' =!!per( But all this )as a &ind !# elab!rati!n !# her inner e%asi!n( B'
"i%in" her a dressin" "!)n and a cup !# c!##ee !ne had erel' br!u"ht up!n !nesel# the #e) s!cial
tric&s she &ne) h!) t! per#!r( $he )as n!t interested, erel' p!lite( F!r ser%ices rendered she
returned the pa'ent !# this li#ted little #in"er and a %a"ue a)a&enin" !%er a cup !# surburban
c!##ee( One )as a#raid that at an' !ent she )!uld bec!e urbanel' lad'li&e, and re%i%e the
Nels!n t!uch )hich !ne #inds s! pain#ul in the ladies !# 4nerl' and <en"e( ?<reser%e us #r! the
!strich(@
+Tell e,+ !ne said, b' a #lu&e, +ab!ut '!ur #ail'( Where the' li%e and h!) and
e%er'thin"(+
This interested her( .t al!st ade her #ace )a&e up2 her "estures becae ali%e and
instincti%e( Onl' her e'es c!uld n!t )h!ll' achie%e the chan"e:narr!)in", )idenin", the ri !#
the blac&ness( Reall', t! l!!& at her )as as senseless as l!!&in" int! the shutter !# a caera(
Her #ail', she said, li%ed in a %illa in =r!'d!n( Father had a -!b at the "as)!r&s( He )as a
card( Her #!ur br!thers )ere all )!r&in"( The' )ere cards, t!!( Her t)! sisters )ere !n the
teleph!ne e6chan"e( The' )ere real cards( 1!ther )as a little 9ueer in the head, and she, Bracie,
)as the '!un"est( 1!ther )as a treat, the thin"s she said7 ,au"h* The' #airl' &illed thesel%es at
her in the parl!r( A!u see, she didn/t &n!) )hat she )as sa'in", li&e( 4 bit s!pp' in the t!p st!r'(
1ade the 'ell, the thin"s she cae !ut )ith, speciall' )hen she )as a little s9ui##'( ,au"h* The'
h!)led( .# '!u c!uld !nl' )rite the in a b!!&, it )!uld be )!nder#ul(
One tried t! ia"ine her in the b!s! !# this r!arin" #ail':this anial )ai# )ith the
%!ice runnin" al!n" the thin ed"e !# sanit':but #ailed( There )as n!thin" Eli;abethan ab!ut her,
t! su""est that she )!uld #it in )ith this pac& !# 'ellin" cards:<a )ith his )atch chain and cla'
pipe, 1!ther )ith her b!ttle !# Wincarnis( The parl!r !%er#l!)in" )ith br!thers and sisters, and the
p!rt !%er#l!)in" in !ther/s brain cells(
Her #ather )as a bad an )hen he )as in drin&, she said at last( 4l)a's ha%in" ti##s )ith
4lbert( 4l)a's uc&in" ab!ut )ith her and Edith the eldest !ne( Onl' !n $aturda' ni"hts )hen he
)asn/t hisel#, h!)e%er, and Ted the eldest br!ther )as the sae( The' &ne) it )asn/t ri"ht but
)hat c!uld '!u d! i# it )as '!ur !)n #ather* $he c!u"hed a little(
+3! '!u li%e at h!e*+
+When ./ there ./ there,+ she said patientl'( +When . d!n/t "! bac& the' d!n/t )!rr'( Blad
t! be #ree !# e( N!t earnin" e &eep an' !re, see*+ . sa)(
$he #inished her drin& and put the cup d!)n( Then she str!lled !%er t! the b!!&case and
9ui;;ed the titles( $ni##ed, turned t! e, and said, +Fine l!t !/ b!!&s '!u "!t here(+ But )ith a
"esture s! #!rei"n, s! !ut !# character that . )as #!rced t! lau"h( $he )as actuall' bein" seducti%e2
and ab!%e all, n!t seducti%e b' the !rdinar' #!rulae, but b' the dashin" hectic #!rulae !# the
cinea( .t )as ast!nishin"( <!sed li&e that, her hip stuc& !ut under the pal !# !ne hand, her
slender, rather #rail le"s Venus/d:!ne &nee !%er the !ther8she had bec!e that cinea parr!t, a
dan"er!us )!an( E%en her sall #ace )as stained t! an ia"inar' e6pressi!n be#!re an ia"inar'
caera( Onl' the a)#ul si"htlessness !# her e'es betra'ed her( One becae ebarrassed2 as at a
theater )here the #a!us c!edian #ails t! raise the !st #leetin" !# sni""ers #r! his audience(
+=!e !## it, Brace,+ !ne said unc!#!rtabl'( +=!e !## it( A!u/re n!t an actress(+
$he )as suddenl' chastened and dub, li&e a reprianded pet( The p!se )as shattered(
$lippin" !## the dressin" "!)n she lit a ci"arette and sat hersel# d!)n !n ' &nee2 be"an t! &iss
e in a businessli&e )a', pausin" #r! tie t! tie t! e6hale cl!uds !# s!&e #r! her sall dr'
!uth( Her e'es i"ht ha%e been c!%ered in cataracts #!r all the eanin" the' held in the( Her
&isses )ere tasteless, li&e stra)( +3! '!u li&e e*+ she in9uired at last )ith stunnin" #er%!r:the
"reat screen star ta&in" p!ssessi!n !# her #ace #!r a sec!nd( +3! '!u reel' li&e e, ister*+
Fr! that !ent there is the #lash !# a s)!rd, di%idin" the )!rld( 4 bri"ht clea%a"e )ith
the past, cuttin" d!)n thr!u"h the ner%es and cells and arteries !# #eelin"( The past )as aputated,
and the #uture becae sipl' Bracie( That peculiar in#atuati!n )hich abs!rbed !ne, sapped !ne b'
the #ascinati!n !# its e6pl!rati!ns( Bracie sta'ed !n, and da's l!st c!unt !# thesel%es> s! re!te
)as that )!rld in )hich . )andered )ith her, s! all8abs!rbin" her least anneris, the least )!rd,
the least breath she dre)(
4#ter the #irst ard!rs )ere tasted and reali;ed, she becae e%en !re )!nder#ul as a s!rt !#
pet( Her %!cabular', her "reat th!u"hts lit up the da's hi&e c!ets( 4nd that iserable tran9uillit'
she retired int! )hen she )as ill ade !ne reali;e that she )as ine6haustible( What a curi!us
ad%enture an!ther pers!n is7
. ph!ned Tar9uin> +1' dear #ell!), '!u ust c!e d!)n t! ' r!!s !n Tuesda' and
eet Bracie( ./ "i%in" a little part' #!r her( A!u ust c!e( ./ sure '!u )ill be "reat #riends(
$he spits bl!!d(+
The' all cae( <ere;, the "!rilla )ith his unc!uth ale stride and ra%in" tie2 ,!b!
a"itatedl' sh!)in" his !st #latterin" hal#8pr!#ile2 =lare, Tar9uin, =haberlain )ith his bundle !#
li"ht usic and -a;;( The' sat ab!ut unc!#!rtabl', rather "h!ulishl', )hile ., re%elin" in the
situati!n, ade the drin&, and helped Brace t! per#!r her tric&s( .t )as a cruel tableau, but she
)as #ar t!! !btuse t! reali;e it( $he pla'ed the s!cial h!stess )ith a ;eal and clusiness )hich
)!uld ha%e ade !ne )eep i# !ne )ere less "ranite8li%ered( . c!n"ratulated 'sel# !n ' s&ill in
"atherin" t!"ether such a c!llecti!n !# butter#lies #!r their utual ebarrassent( Aes, . chuc&led
in)ardl' as . cau"ht their e'es !%er their "lasses( The c!ed' !# )heels )ithin )heels( .t )as a
s!ciet' !# pen8club ebers )h!, a#ter bein" in%ited t! eet a celebrit', had been presented )ith a
ere re%ie)er( $candali;ed the' )ere b' the per#!rance Brace put up, c!c&in" her little #in"er
!%er the teacups, and tal&in" )ith the h'"ienic purit' !# an 4nerl' atr!n( ?<reser%e us #r! the
!strich(@ H!) their e'es accused e7
<!!r Brace )as !b%i!usl' an ebarrassin" b!re( The' rela6ed a little )hen the "ra!ph!ne
)as started and =haberlain )as c!pelled b' punctili!usness t! "'rate )ith his h!stess( He )as
the least a##ected b' Bracie, . supp!se because he )as the !st natural pers!n there( But <ere; and
,!b! c!n#erred in a c!rner and decided that the' had an ip!rtant en"a"eent else)here( ,!b!
said "!!d da' )ith the #ri"idit' !# a =astilian "entlean disissin" a b!rin" chaberaid( N!
anners li&e th!se !# the reall' )ell8bred(
,ater, h!)e%er, =lare danced )ith her and she seeed t! li&e it( He al!ne !# all !# the
seeed t! spea& a 9uiet lan"ua"e )hich )as reall' #ailiar t! her, )hich thrilled her #r! the start(
.n #act the' danced s! )ell t!"ether, and s! intiate )ere their t!nes !# c!n%ersati!n that Tar9uin
be"an t! #id"et ab!ut and beha%e clusil' )ith his "lass(
=haberlain, )h! didn/t li%e in the h!tel hisel#, #!ll!)ed e t! the la%at!r', and &ept e
tal&in", his e'es shinin" )ith e6citeent(
+What d! '!u thin& !# Bracie*+
+B!!d en!u"h #un( N!t uch !# '!u, th!u"h(+
+What d! '!u ean*+
He lau"hed in ' #ace, )rin&lin" up his n!se( N!t 9uite certain )hether t! be #ran& !r n!t(
4s al)a's he t!!& the chance, h!)e%er(
+This part' !# '!urs( 4n elab!rate piece !# sel#8"rati#icati!n( A!u ust al)a's ta&e it !ut !#
s!eb!d', ustn/t '!u* ,i#e is !ne l!n" re%en"e #!r '!ur !)n sh!rtc!in"s(+
+A!u/%e been readin" the Russians,+ . said( N!thin" else( .t )as #uri!usl' ann!'in"( .
b!)ed and led hi bac& t! the circus( Tar9uin )as )ater8l!""ed b' this tie, and read' t! lea%e(
=lare danced !n in a &ind !# re!te c!ntr!l, a s!cial c!uni!n )ith Bracie( The' hardl' sp!&e at
all, but there )as an a)areness, an ease bet)een the . en%ied( 4 c!ntact(
+Well, Brace, ./ "!in",+ said =haberlain )ith "!!d hu!r, sha&in" hands )ith her( T!
e, as he passed, he !##ered !ne )!rd, in ' pri%ate ear( +$entientalist(+ . c!n#ess it ran&led(
That e%enin" . t!!& it !ut !n Brace, appeased the ra"e that =haberlain/s little !bser%ati!n
had bred in e( F!r a da' !r t)! e%er'thin" ab!ut her seeed !di!us,!di!us(
But all this, !ne reali;es, is sipl' )ritin" d!)n t! !ne/s sub-ect #r! the hei"hts !# an
intellectual superi!rit', a la Hu6le'( .t is a tric& t! be pla'ed !n an'!ne, but n!t !n '!ursel#( The
intellectual superi!rit' !# the e!ti!nall' sterile( Because . a "rate#ul t! Brace, !re "rate#ul
than in&' )!rds can e6press, )hate%er a"!n' '!u in-ect int! the( Aet the idea !# an audience7
The idea !# an'!ne&n!)in" that . #elt such sentients turned the at !nce cr'stal8c!ld( =han"ed
the int! a ra"e a"ainst ' !)n e!ti!nal )ea&ness( 4nd thence int! a ra"e a"ainst the !b-ect !#
that indul"ence, 'clept she( .n retr!spect the part' e6plains itsel# sipl' en!u"h( Was it p!ssible
that . #elt an'thin" #!r this little c!c&ne' child )ith her tedi!us hu!rs, her spuri!us "entilit'*
5uic&, 9uic& then, let e insult 'sel# and her #!r such a lapse #r! the hei"hts !# intellectual
purit' !# #eelin"( H!) )e cherish the #esterin" intelli"ence7 But then a"ain, #eelin", i# it is t! be
interpreted b' e!ti!n is n!t ' pr!%ince> at an' rate i# . a e%er t! )rite ab!ut it( F!r bad
e!ti!n can !nl' pr!duce the terrible s9uealin" !# the slau"htered pi": 3e <r!#undisis the sterlin"
e6aple( ,et us than& B!d there#!re, that . d! n!t tr' t! s9uee;e !ut such pus !n t! handade
paper( . shir& the epitaph #!r Brace, n!t because she )!uldn/t understand it, but because . dare n!t
)rite it(
The carapace !# the rati!nal intelli"ence7 . thin& the reas!n . l!%ed Brace s! uch )as that
. c!uld escape #r! 'sel# )ith her( The ca"e . inhabited )as br!&en )ide !pen b' !ur
e6perience( $he )as n!t audience en!u"h #!r e t! hate her( Aet, )ritin" nicel', +l!%e+ is n!t the
c!rrect )!rd( F!r a an li&e e d!es n!t need l!%e in the accepted sense( There sh!uld be an!ther
)!rd t! e6press this %er' real state( One hardl' &n!)s h!) t! d! it )ith!ut the &e' )!rd t! the
situati!n( ,et e lea%e a blan& space and pr!ceed(
Wh' and h!) Bracie supplied this8 pr!%ender, it )!uld ta&e e an ae!n t! )rite( Her
idi!c'7 Her unc!prehendin" urbanit'7 4b!%e all, her stupidit'7 Aes, her stupidit' ade e #eel
sa#e, )ithin ' !)n depth( .t )as p!ssible t! "i%e 'sel# t! her utterl'( 1' desire )as as
un9uali#ied b' #ear and istrust as hers )as b' intelli"ence( $!eties, sittin" there !n the bed
)ith her, pla'in" #!!lish &inder"arten "aes )ith her, . used t! ia"ine )hat )!uld happen i#
suddenl' she turned be#!re ' e'es int! !ne !# th!se precise #eale d!rice !# the upper classes
)ith )h! !nl' ' liitati!ns e6press thesel%es( 4 )eird #eelin"( . had, a#ter all, utterl'
c!itted 'sel#> and the idea !# Brace turnin" int! a she8-udas be#!re ' e'es )as #ri"htenin"(
.a"ine a =r!'d!n 0uliet, secure in her &n!)led"e !# e6actl' )hat)as sacred and pr!#ane l!%e,
risin" up #r! ' !)n s!#a and sc!ur"in" e7 The crac&in" )hips !# !utra"ed r!ance7 ?N!( N!(
<reser%e us #r! the !strich(@
1ust . c!n#ess, then, that the secret !# !ur l!%e )as the %ast stupidit' !# Brace and the hu"e
e"!tis and terr!r !# 'sel#* These )ere the hin"es !n )hich !ur relati!nship turned( A!u see, .
c!uld n!ttell her . ad!red her( N!( 1' l!%e e6pressed itsel# in a de%i!us, abi"u!us )a'( 1'
t!n"ue becae a sc!ur"e t! t!rent n!t !nl' 'sel# but als! the !b-ect !# ' ad!rati!n( 4n!ther
)!an -eered at, )hipped b' s'llables, addressed as +'!u bitch,+ +'!u slut,+ !r +'!u )h!re,+
)!uld ha%e been cle%er en!u"h t! accept the ters #!r )hat the' seeed )!rth( Wh! )!uld ha%e
"uessed that in usin" the . intended t! c!n%e' !nl' ' !)n ab-ect surrender* Onl' Bracie, !#
c!urse, sittin" in the c!rner !# the s!#a, %er' "rande dae in ' c!l!red dressin" "!)n, dea# and
si"htless, c!c&in" her #in"er !%er a cup !# tea( Wh! )!uld ha%e accepted an apparent hate and
&n!)n it t! be l!%e* N! !ne but Brace, ' cineatic princess(
=haberlain, )hen he called, )as sh!c&ed b' the &ni#e ed"e !# cruelt' that cut d!)n int!
!ur s!cial relati!ns( He did n!t reali;e the depths !# her insensiti%eness( He sa) !nl' )hat seeed
t! hi the )ill#ul cruelt' !# 'sel#( He did n!t reali;e that ' %iper/s t!n"ue )!uld ha%e )ithered
in ' !uth i# set t! pr!n!unce a sin"le c!n%enti!nal endearent, +' darlin",+ !r +' dear(+ N!(
. a that . a( Thesene6 #!rnicat!r i# '!u )ill( The lutin( Nanus !r puil!( T!urneur/s +-uiceless
lu6ur,+ i# '!u pre#er it, but ne%er the c!n%enti!nali;ed "ra!ph!ne8rec!rd l!%er( But . reali;e that
e%en these )eird c!l!rs are denied e b' ' ac9uaintances )h!se eth!d is sipl' t! re%erse the
r!antic edalli!n and declare that )hat the' see is the #ace !# c'nicis( +3ear 1r( Bre"!r',+ as
s!e!ne said, +'!u/re such a c'nic,+ )hate%er she eant(
.n a )a' this ust be rather a pit', #!r Brace pines #!r r!ance, dil' in that nub s!ul !#
hers( Wist#ull'( $!eties, !n )a&in" her #r! a trance, . ha%e disc!%ered that the !b-ect !# her
usin" )as !nl' Bar' =!!per( $!it( .t has bec!e iperati%e t! present her )ith a substitute(
1uch p!nderin" !n the sub-ect had e%!l%ed #!r e an eli6ir, )hich sees t! d! the tric&(
Thrice8)ee&l' %isits t! the cinea see t! hac& a)a' !st !# the r!antic )hale blubber )hich
)!uld p!is!n !ur relati!nship2 the rest is dissipated b' an !ccasi!nal %isit #r! =lare( He is, as it
)ere, the practical side !# r!ance(
$aturda' e%enin"s she "!es dancin" at the <all' 3e 3ance )ith hi, "litterin" in a %ul"ar
ne) e%enin" #r!c& )hich ' charit' has pr!%ided2 baubled, painted, and )ith a s)ath !# scent
#!ll!)in" her, a 'ard )ide, li&e an in%isible pa"e( Radiant, !ne i"ht al!st sa', )ere n!t her
radiance the radiance !# a r!u"ed death as&(
With e she is still a little unc!#!rtable, but !nce !utside the #lat d!!r she ta&es !n an'
r!antic c!l!r she ch!!ses( Out !# the )ee&da' chr'salis steps the princess Bracie, !)ner !# a tall
dar& partner and a latch&e' !# her !)n( . )!uld be a #!!l t! "rud"e her this( Aet it ran&les( . "rud"e
it( 4nd a"ain, s! un#!rtunate in ' )a' !# sh!)in" ' #eelin"s that . #!rce her t! "!, "!ad her,
sipl' in the h!pe that she )ill re%!lt, ren!unce the r!le, and sta' at h!e( +But '!u ust "!,+ .
sa', )hen she sh!)s the sli"htest disinclinati!n( +=lare )ill be sad( He sa's '!u dance l!%el'(+
H!pin" !# c!urse that she )ill lau"h, put her hands !n ' sh!ulders, perhaps, and sta'( But a !re
literal8inded little 0e;ebel '!u c!uld n!t h!pe t! #ind( .n all !bedience, she "!es( .# . had the
c!ura"e t! sa' t! her, #!r instance> +T!ni"ht '!u ust sta'( . d!n/t )ant t! be le#t al!ne,+ she )!uld
as !bedientl' sta'2 but tr' as . i"ht . cann!t brin" 'sel# t! sa' the #!rula( <!!r Bracie( The
#eale thauatur"e( Where an'!ne else )!uld tr' perhaps t! deduce )hat . )as #eelin" #r! the
abi"uities !# )hat . sa', Bracie accepts the literal renderin" !# the te6t and acts !n it( .n this )a' .
ha%e n! !ne t! blae but 'sel#(
O# c!urse, there are s!luti!ns( But . a t!! uch the retirin" %i!let e%er t! tr' the( .
c!uld, #!r instance, learn t! dance( .n #act . e%en b!u"ht a little anual !# dance steps and tr!d a
"ra%e easure !r t)! in #r!nt !# ' l!!&in" "lass, )!nderin" i# it )ere p!ssible t! ta&e =lare/s
place in the ballr!!( 4las7 . can see at !nce h!) #atal the attept )!uld be( The #allac' !# the
idea( Because )hat she )ants is n!t a partner, but a r!antic all'( F!6 tr!t . ne%er s! nibl', .
c!uld n!t h!pe t! !ust =lare( F!r c!nsider the disparit'( =lare is tall, ins!lentl' cat8e'ed, blac&8
l!c&ed( The "i"!l!, in a )!rd( His e%enin" sh!ulders are padded t! pr!#essi!nal hea%')ei"ht si;e(
Bi""er than Brace, he hunches pr!tecti%el' !%er her, sin"in" snatches !# the tunes in her ears( He
&n!)s all the )!rds t! all the tunes, it sees( His !%eent is a lush, c!n#ident seal/s "lide !n the
p!lished #l!!r( =!n#r!nted b' this picture !# hi #!r c!paris!n )ith ' !)n re#lecti!n in the
irr!r, . a at !nce dis"usted b' the #atuit' !# all this( N!( $aturda' e%enin"s . sit %irtu!usl' al!ne,
a8readin" Bibb!n, )aitin" #!r the cl!c& t! stri&e t)el%e(
$!eties Tar9uin c!es d!)n t! see e, all ner%es and n!nchalance, and sits !n the ed"e
!# a chair, tal&in" )ist#ull', until the' return( He resents her ta&in" up =lare/s tie but dare n!t
sh!) it !penl'( He is scared that the' )ill #all, as he puts it, in l!%e )ith !ne an!ther( +4ren/t '!u,+
he sa's ner%!usl', +in l!%e )ith her en!u"h t! see the dan"er !# all this*+ Naturall', ' %iscera
c!ntract at this !pen stateent !# a #act )hich . ha%en/t e%er )anted t! e6aine cl!sel'( +,!%e*+ .
sa's t! hi . sa's, )ith ' ne)l' ac9uired Bri6t!n apl!b, +,!%e, Tar9uin*+ This )ith all the
chaste c!ntr!l . can uster( +Oh, it depends )hat '!u ean b' the )!rd(+ . call up the Nels!n
t!uch and nail ' pina#!re t! the ast( +What is l!%e*+ .t is n!t 'sel# . a as&in", but Tar9uin( .
diss!ciate 'sel# #irl' #r! the 9uesti!n( Ha%e . n!t alread' si"naled ' i"n!rance b' a blan&
space )here the )!rd sh!uld ha%e been* Ne%ertheless . a alici!us n!), because he sh!uld tr'
t! s!&e !ut the h!rnets/ nest in ' brain( $hall )e a&e hi )ri""le* +3! '!u l!%e =lare*+ . sa'
%en!!usl'( +,!%e,+ he sa's, be"innin" t! treble,+,!%e7+ The )!rd is a s!rt !# !t!r t!uched !##
inside hi( His &nees li9ue#' and diss!l%e inside the creased tubes !# his tr!user le"s( +1' dear
#ell!), )hat d! '!u ean*+
This is the se%enth !ccasi!n !# =lare/s %isit t! the <all' )ith Brace( B' this tie )e are
nearl' drun& !n claret( Tar9uin is al!st h'sterical and . a see&in" ab!ut #!r the ri"ht phrase )ith
)hich t! diseb!)el hi( .t )!uld )ipe !ut ' an"er at Brace/s deserti!n t! seehi brea& d!)n(
But he )ill n!t( We sit li&e a c!uple !# a"ed sch!!lars and discuss +li#e(+ Tar9uin/s c!n#idences
are a little ebarrassin" because the' are s! !ut !# pr!p!rti!n( When he )as #i%e, he assures e,
his little sister pulled d!)n his tr!users be#!re #i%e !# her "irl #riends( This he assures e is the
cause !# his curi!us ps'ch!l!"'( 4ll !# )hich is %a"uel' reiniscent !# a literar' !utin" )ith !ne
!# the <!)'s br!thers( +A!u can understand the shae that p!lluted ' li#e*+ he deands an"ril'(
He insists !n readin" e his diar', at an' rate th!se si"ni#icant e6cerpts )hich scald his b!)els(
Bad pr!se and )!rse sentient( There are little #l!urishes and bra%ura pieces )hich are )aitin"
ea"erl' #!r p!sterit'( Tar9uin ban&s his h!pes !# i!rtalit' !n this t!e> these h'p!ch!ndriac
dribblin"s7
+3! '!u &eep a diar'*+ he )ants t! &n!)2 and c!nteptu!usl' . tell hi, +N!(+
4 little dis"ustin" !n the )h!le, this s!ul8!utp!urin" !# his, because s! tri%ial( +We ust
ha%e sanit', d!n/t '!u thin&*+ he sa's )ist#ull'( +We ust reduce !ur li%es t! s!e s!rt !# !rder(
./ tr'in" %er' hard t! "et t! the b!tt! !# 'sel#( What d! '!u thin&*+
The an"er, the hard bri"ht an"er in 'sel#, )hen . c!nsider Tar9uin/s tra e6cursi!ns d!)n
the !ne8)a' street !# intr!specti!n and ps'ch!anal'sis( +.t isn/t an'thin")r!n",+ he sa's, spea&in"
!# his l!%e #!r =lare2 +it isn/t a ph'sical attachent( . had ' pr!state l!!&ed !%er( .t/s 9uite
n!ral( .t/s purel' a desire #!r s!e e!ti!nal relati!nship bet)een us( Bre"!r', !ld #ell!), '!u
&n!) )hat l!neliness can be, )ith!ut c!ntact, d!n/t '!u* $ittin" al!ne da' a#ter da', d!n/t '!u*+
The claret is #inished( N!ddin" )ith the stern &indness !# a edic!, . retire t! the &itchen
and unearth s!e bitter beer( Tar9uin !lts b' the #ire(
+E%er since . )as at sch!!l . #elt the need #!r l!%e( .deal l!%e, d!n/t '!u see* ./ n!t
i!ral( The la) c!uldn/t t!uch e i# it )anted t!( <h'sicall' ./ chaste as ((( as ((( )hat/s %er'
chaste* Tell e the chastest thin" '!u &n!)( Aes, that/s ri"ht( 4s chaste as a bl!!d' eunuch ( ( (
Ha ( ( ( Ha ( ( (+
4 little spas !# i6ed lau"hter and tears( The beer pr!duces a series !# diinishin"
re%erberati!ns in his b!)els2 a re"ur"itati!n( He spits in the #ire(
+. #i6ed ' e!ti!ns !n #riends, !n asters, an'!ne at all( . used t! )rite p!es t! the(
A!u see* Then a#ter)ards ( ( ( Oh, . d!n/t &n!), )h' a . tellin" '!u all this* . re"ret it( ./ll be
ashaed t! c!e a"ain( Wh' can/t . shut up and be silent* Wh'* .s it s!ethin" )r!n" )ith e*
What d! '!u thin&* But that daned )ar #inished an' c!ntr!l . i"ht ha%e had( . )as happ' in the
line( $!unds #unn', d!esn/t it* But happ', !ld an, ./%e ne%er been happier( O# c!urse ' ner%es
)ere sh!t t! hell, but the lac& !# resp!nsibilit', -ust )aitin" li&e c!)s t! be &illed( A!u see !ne
c!uldn/tthin&( 1' B!d, )hat a blessin" t! sit there in that n!ise, che)in" ud, and treblin",
unable t! thin&( .t/ll ne%er be the sae a"ain( . tr' )ith usic n!) but it/s n! "!!d( Onl' s!eties
Wa"ner "i%es e the #eelin", but it/s n! "!!d reall'(+
4ch7 but a truce t! Tar9uin( He has #raed his !)n p!rtrait in that )retched diar' !# his(
What a !nuent !# unc!nsci!us hu!r and path!s7
The ni"ht . t!ld hi that =lare had been un#aith#ul t! hi, rather that Brace had been
un#aith#ul t! e, he )as #!r beatin" the "i"!l! senseless( +The )!rld/s n!t lar"e en!u"h #!r us
b!th,+ he aditted, startin" t! be sic&( .n the bathr!!, #allin" !n his &nees, he clutched the tails !#
' dressin" "!)n, and said> +Help e, Bre"!r', #!r the l!%e !# B!d, help e, help e(+
. helped hi t! bed ( ( (
Here ends the e6tract #r! Bre"!r'/s diar'(
That is a #ra"ent !# the tender id !# this b!!&> the secreti%e, )incin" plas !# Bre"!r'
tan"led in his !)n e"!8isus2 tan"led in the "reen lace !# the )ritin"( . d! n!t pretend t! interpret(
.t )!uld be t!! uch t! e6pect !# the interr!"ati%e e"!, the !ther e, )h!se #uncti!n is sipl' t!
ta&e a s!rt !# hier!"l'phic dictati!n #r! space, and ann!tate it, punctuate, edit( <erhaps add a pert
little intr!ducti!n !# ' !)n, and an apparatus !# %ariants(
.# . re#lect !n !ur indi%idual and c!llecti%e #unerals, here in the Re"ina H!tel, runnin" side
b' side in the sn!) in a chr!n!l!"' )hich has n!thin" t! d! )ith tie:#!r it has #!r#eited tie #!r
the li%in" lib!:then . a #!rced bac& t! a picture !# ,!b! sittin" !%er his chart, his #in"ers bus',
)hile Bre"!r' )atches #r! a chair( 4l)a's the Bre"!r' )h! d!es n!t e6ist here, the 3eath
Bre"!r' !# the "reen #able( 4s #!r the chart, it is the #inal s'b!l !# this annihilati!n( 4t ni"ht . can
see it !n the )all( .t c!ntains e%er' principle, e%er' !ti%e, e%er' b!undar' t! )hich !ur deaths are
sub-ect, in )hich the' are c!nsuated( <l!t e a "raph !# the d!!, in )hich the s!uthern
pr!%inces lie7 The tunnel !# ,!rdship ,ane )here ' #eet ha%e )!rn thesel%es d!)n t!
arr!)less stups in ' )anderin"s( The s!&e and upr!ar !# the tin tubrils passin" the eternal
)ind!)s( The useu cl!c& #ace is sc!ur"ed b' raindr!ps> it dies, li&e a pale #ace !n the stal& !# a
t!)er and reinds e !# the death !# tie( ( ( (
When Bre"!r' spea&s !ut !# the dar&ness . a )anderin" a"ain in that insane s'ste )hich
is n!t s!lar but in#ernal( The #r!nds !# the sic&enin" trees #r! Breen ,anes a)a' t! =hapi!n
Hill, )here the tra%elers "! at ni"ht )ith their ba"s and ba""a"es( 4t =at#!rd, )here the blind en
dance t! the %i!lins, )hile the )ind bl!)s their e'elids !%er the2 and their hands are terrible
s!ap' tal!ns7 3eli%er e #r! the blind en !# ' childh!!d7 $tand !n the brid"e and let the
en"ines launch thesel%es at '!u( Hea%' steel lances di%in" bet)een '!ur le"s and the s!&e
ch!&es up bet)een the arches( 4ll the si"nals are set "reen as the e%enin" shuts d!)n, l!n" ra's !#
e%enin" paral'sis !%er the teneents( ,!chia( The h!uses secret and pri( N! s!und, n! s!und !#
the ri"!rs, tra"edies, laentati!ns lea&in" #r! behind the shutters( The d!!r &n!c&ers han"in" !n
br!&en hin"es )aitin" #!r the H!st t! li#t the( .nside the &itchen ran"es #larin", surr!unded b'
steain" cl!thesh!rses( Te6ts !n the )all at an an"le( 1antels bl!ss!in" !ut )ith a sudden s!#t
p!p( ,etters )ith .ndian staps !n the, Hala, ,ud!, Baede&er, Old 1!!re, drippin", se9uel, the
"reen h!use lit )ith a "reen rain #r! hea%en, the ha""ard #in"ers stitchin" a )indin" cl!th #!r the
!rnin" ((( .t is di##icult t! )rite it( There is a transiti!n #r! that place t! this, )here . sit and
)atch ,!b! )!r& at the ap he )ill ne%er #inish( But it is iediate( The c!nnectin" lin&s ha%e
snapped, !r been burst int! pieces( . li%e !nl' in ' ia"inati!n )hich is tieless( There#!re the
l!cati!n !# this )!rld )hich . a tr'in" t! haer !ut #!r '!u !n a blunt t'pe)riter, !%er the
.!nian, is the l!cati!n !# space erel'( . can !nl' #i6 it )ith an' certaint'!n the ap(
Fr! <ec&ha )here the children sail their b!ats, )here the l!%ers pla' )ith each !ther and
"! ad !n the dar& c!!n a#ter dar&, a)a' t! the lairs !# ,ee Breen, )here '!u can sell
Blac&heath stal&in" up)ard int! the dar&ness, leperli&e, eaten b' r!ads and %illas( Fr! the #a" end
!# 4nerl' )here the tra lines thin a)a' int! a )ilderness !# #allin" t!bst!nes2 Eler/s End, a
l!calit' !# )hite stups in the sn!)2 t! the =r'stal <alace stuc& a"ainst the s&', dribblin" s!#tl',
pric&ed )ith laps( ,a)rence &ne) this )!rld( ,!!& up suddenl' int! the ni"ht( O p!nder!us
phall!i, '!u ha%e ipre"nated the )!rld, '!u are the h!sta"e !# these delicate "irls )h!se
%ir"inities are hard as the ir!n rails !# the beds !n )hich the' t!ss7
The h!tel is cr!)ded )ith "h!sts( $ince Ed)ardian ties n! !ne has dusted this statuar',
these carpets, these indestructible p!tted plants( . a thin&in" n!) !# the Welshan( 1!r"an
st!!pin" al!n" these c!rrid!rs as i# under in%isible bl!)s, )ith a !p in his hand( Or at ni"ht,
seated b' the huin" ir!n b!ilers in a battered chair, drainin" his )his&' at a "ulp, and c!u"hin"
up a bl!!dsh!t st!r'( 1!r"an #!und drun& !ne ni"ht, t)ined r!und the #i"ure !# a Bree& "!ddess,
#ear#ull' e6cited b' its utter stillness( Or "i%in" hisel# an erecti!n s!lenl', t! sh!) '!u e6actl'
)hat the catheter did t! hi )hen he had the clap( The beauti#ul utilati!ns and barbarities !#
Wales, the %alle'/s strun" )ith s!res, the reli"i!n( 4nd t! the seab!ard !# his )!rld the eternal
beatin" !# the 4tlantic, the )hite races( 1!r"an/s inheritance is a 9ueer barbarit', a reli"i!us an"er,
)hich -ups #r! n!thin" al!n" the dents !# his #ace( . a #ascinated b' hi, because t! ' !)n
crude stru""le a"ainst a pr!tracted ad!lescence, he presents a b!ld and s!lid picture, in lar"e r!und
li%el' c!l!rs( He presents as nearl' as he can the 9ualit' !# an e6perience )ith!ut dressin" it up>
pu;;led, l!urin", h!!&in" the )rithin" )!rds #r! his %!cabular' li&e !ct!p!ds, as he sits there b'
the b!iler, drin&in" and 'arnin"( ,!!&, !ne ni"ht . cae d!)n here t! #ind the #urnace d!!rs !pen,
the dirt' lin!leu bathed in #laes( He )as )!r&in", stripped t! the )aist, the li9uid dust r!llin"
d!)n his b!d', the c!nt!urs !# chest and ar #rilled in #lae, t!ssin" "reat !uth#uls !# clin&ers
int! the #urnace( His du"s )ere a tan"le !# hair and dust( When he sa) e he )as suddenl' leanin"
!n the sh!%el in deli"hted a"itati!n( ?B)en, !# c!urse( He has been shapin" #!r B)en #!r !nths
n!)(@ . c!uld !nl' "uess at the realit' thr!u"h his iprecisi!n( +$he c!e d!)n /ar# an h!ur a"!(
/Ere( B' the b!iler(+His #ace )as li&e a #l!)er, +$he c!e t! e )ith n!thin" under her dress( $he
said> /3! '!u )ant it, 1ister 1!r"an*+ B!r but it )as surprisin" li&e( . dint &n!) )hat t! sa'(
Then she lies d!)n here, in #r!nt !# the bl!!d' #ire, as B!d/s truth, sir, in #r!nt !# the #ire +ere(+ He
ch!&ed !n his !)n spittle and pr!duced a "rin( <hen!en!n( Then, turnin" aside, latched the b!iler
d!!rs #ast( .n ' r!le !# ech! . sat and )aited( He )as an"r' n!), s!rt !# resent#ul )ith e #!r
bein" at all interested( Then he ended )ith terri#ic naturalness> +$he )as )hat '!u i"ht call #ruit'(
3ra)s it !ut !# '!u, sir(+ Then, as i# a little be)ildered b' such a literar' #i"ure, he stared at his #eet
and blurted !ut, +0uic' as #ruit, sir, and that/s n! err!r(+
Fr! this epic t! the in!r 'th !# Bre"!r' is a step that sees unbrid"eable, t! e at an'
rate( 1!r"an at !ne unc!uth -up reachin" be'!nd the b!undaries !# !ur idealis, !ur dilute
passi!n, !ur e##ete aesthetic( . a helpless t! d! an'thin" but !%e the "reen bish!p t! a ne)
para"raph( Helpless(
Here be"ins Bre"!r'>
The unbearable p!i"nance !# bein" inarticulate:!r d! . ean !nl' t!! articulate*:#!r .
ha%e )!rds en!u"h(+=hrist+ she said t! e !nce l'in" there c!%ered b' ' b!d', +$a' 'er l!%e e,
)h' d!n/t '!u* A!u ne%er sa's it, Bre"!r', '!u ne%er sa's it( .t/s n!t "!!d )ith!ut '!u sa'in" it(+
$he had ne%er cried !ut be#!re2 ne%er tried t! cr!ss the #!rbidden territ!r' )hich lies
bet)een us( F!r a hal#8sec!nd it )as as i#, t! descend t! the stale phrase, ' heart )as br!&en( The
pain !# #indin" her al!st )ithin ' reach, deandin" c!#!rtable #ailiarit' and tenderness, )as
al!st ph'sical( Here, '!ur r!antics )ill tell '!u, under the le#t breast( . )!ndered all !# a sudden
)hat it ust #eel li&e t! sleep )ith e, t! iss the !pen recipr!cati!n, the crude %ulnerabilit' !# the
passi!nate aal> the )arth that =haberlain re%els in> the b!)els !# c!passi!n( ( ( (
Fau"h7 But ./ a saurian( ,ea%e e ' t!adli&e c!p!sure( . de#end ' !)n ps'chic
pr!pert' li&e the 3e%il hisel#(?+A!u ne%er sa's it, Bre"!r', '!u ne%er sa's it(+@ <!!r Brade, and
her lae per#!rin" t!ad7 The distance )as ne%er cr!ssed( E%en n!), puttin" this ele"ant ci8"it
!%er her c!##in . d! n!t reall' re"ret it( . a that . a(
Here ends Bre"!r'(
But it is true )hat he sa's be#!re> a phrase as %alid #!r us all n!) as it )as #!r hi )hen he
)r!te it(
E%er'thin" is plausible here, because n!thin" is real( N!thin"( The )ar sch!!lr!!s )ith
their #urniture !# little r!und heads, the hunchbac&, the blac& car ridin" !ut !n the idni"ht t! eet
'!u, the desire, the h!urs . spend at this des& in a %acant r!!, )ith !nl' this diar' t! testi#' t!
Bre"!r'/s li#e( The blan& teleph!ne )hich carries '!ur scent int! the r!!, a!n" this literar' bric8
a8brac, these !lderin" n!%els, p!es, articles, the statues !n the sn!) )h!se pers!nalit' . can
#eel e%en in ' dreas( T! #all up!n '!u in an ele"' !# #ren;', and #eel the circles !# sn!)' birds
brea& #r! '!ur )hite pris!n, burst !pen '!ur breast and be"in, #allin" acr!ss the st!n' b!d' in
prisatic re"ients( F!r"i%e e(
We eet at ni"ht !n the d!)nland, in the last territ!r' !# the "reat arterial r!ad( There is
that #i"ure )hich )ill brea& #r! the dar& trees and dance int! the "lare !# the headli"hts in all
"aiet'( ,eather an&le b!!ts, s)ished )et in the l!n" "rass !# the #ields( The )!!ll' =!ssac& hat
snu""led #irl' t! the head( Hair blue8blac&, s!!th, brushed cleanl' bac& !%er the ic' l!bes !#
the ears( =!ld the c!ld #in"ers )hich )ill burr!) in the li"hted dashb!ard #!r ci"arettes2 and the s!
#aintl' painted !uth c!ld in "reetin" li&e the #riendl' c!ld n!se !# an anial( Breath sp!utin" a
il&' spue !n the #r!;en air( This is the diensi!n . )ander in at ni"ht, this and the diensi!n !#
hist!r'( .t is hardl' reas!nable( The children are a#raid t! l!!& at ' #ace because the' i"ht learn
s!ethin"(
.a"inati!n can depict c!ntinents, iense huid 9ua"s !# atter )here li#e pups its
lun"s in a last spas !# bein" be#!re passin" d!)n sl!)l', sp!n"in" a)a' int! its eternal t'pe !#
ud( Thin"s )ith!ut s!uls )hich )ander a!n" the !ss' stups, huin"birds, !r pter!dact'ls
)ith &la6!n shrie&s, bl!bs !# sper dr'in" in cer%ices, !r the naeless aculae lairin" and
clinchin" in ud t! pr!duce their t'pes !# s!litariness( This in the real !# hist!r' )hen the
children are sittin" dea#ened b' the silence, and the b!!& epties itsel# !ut !n the des& in an'
c!l!red pictures( The carb!n #!rests buried in their )eeds and arshes( <ithecanthr!pus stri&in"
#ire #r! a c!bble( The rhin! callin"( The eni"atic #an !# planets pl!ttin" its "raph !n the ni"ht(
The #irst spar& !# hist!r' struc& #r! a c!bble )hile the ashes !# !ur cap#ires s!#ten and )rin&le(
The children/s #aces li&e s! an' custards7 The )aters tha)in", dra)in" bac&( The ha%!c !# the ice
a"es set suddenl' int! "ear( The earth be"ins its abluti!ns( The planets lic& thesel%es clean( The
ud !# c!ntinents scraped, pl!)ed( F!rests pic&ed !ut and t!ssed int! space li&e patches !# #lu##(
Endless the i"rati!n !# apes in little b!ats, )ith #!!d and s&ins and nurser' ipleents( 1en )ith
br!n;e and cattle paddlin" the Bul# $trea int! cha!s beside their du""ed #eales( Oh, the terrible
l!neliness !# the ape/s ind t! see the da)n s)eep up #r! the p!les in a prisatic sn!), shi%erin"
a #an !# c!l!rs( The #la&es settlin" and tha)in" !n the blue )ater !# !ceans( Behind the, l!st in a
%!id )hich has n! l!cati!n, a )!rld> be#!re the:)hat* The ri !# )ater see&in" a)a' int! the
seas!ns, c!nsuin" tie( N! hand !r !li%e branch t! "uide the( The sn!) ices their hair' shan&s
and the s&ins in )hich the' huddle( ( ( (
.t is li&e that, pri!rdial in its l!neliness, the !!d in )hich . set !ut t! eet '!u( The
hist!r' is a s!rt !# #a&e . in%ent all da' a!n" the children t! ner%e 'sel# #!r !ur eetin"s( A!u
are sittin" !ut there, under the s)eepin" s&'line !# c!untr', )ith tie strapped t! '!ur )rist b' a
leather th!n"( 4t '!ur bac& the airplane li"ht s)i%els its reds and "reens !n t! the "rass in an'
hectic )indills( There is n! !b-ect in li#e but t! reach that l!nel' ci"arette p!int in the dar&ness(
4ll da' ' !)n !%eents stru""le t!)ard the dar&ness( .ense assi%e aneu%ers a"ainst
tie, s! that . a li&e the under)ater ph!t!s !# a s)ier, partin" the thic& eleents !# "l!!
)ith sl!) hands t!)ard the !ent !# eetin"(
. a ali%e !nl' in the s!#t "litter !# the sn!), the turnin" !# s)itches, the lab!red churnin"
!# the sel#8starter( The en"ine c!in" a)a&e under ' slippered t!e, the hea%' etal pers!nalit' !#
' partner( We are !## !n the urder!us r!ads, the en"ine sta""erin", )hinin", h!t )ith slippin"
#r! "ear t! accurate "ear( The r!ad !pens li&e a thr!at at Eler/s End( . huddle ner%!usl' and
press d!)n ' #!!t( Ban"7 d!)n int! the suburban c!untr', a!n" a rain !# #allin" t!bst!nes( 4
hailst!r !# as!nr' #allin" a)a' t! !ne side( . a iune #r! dan"er at last( The li"hts are
passin" and #allin" a)a', li&e labent 'ell!) cushi!ns, al)a's #lun", al)a's #allin" sh!rt(
E%er'thin" is "!ne at last, !ur #ailures, !ur shabb' 9uarrels, tie, illusi!n, the ni"ht, the #ren;', the
h'steria( . a in the dar& here in a etal shell, blindin" a)a' acr!ss the earth, these in#inite lanes
t!)ard her(
Flesh r!b!t )ith c!ld thi"hs and #in"ers !# icicle "rippin" the )heel !# the blac& car,
e%er'thin" is #!r"!tten( .t is n! use tellin" e !# her inade9uac', her liitati!ns2 n! "!!d sa'in"
her !uth is an ash tra' craed )ith the butts !# reser%e, #un&, truis, re%ulsi!n( . adit it( .
adit e%er'thin" )ith a "reat "rin !# sn!)( But it is n! use( .# . can #ind her !ist and !pen
bet)een the sheets an')here a!n" the se%en )inds, '!u can ha%e e%er'thin" that li%es and
a"!ni;es bet)een the t)in p!les( $eri!usl'( . s)itch !## the dashb!ard and let ' s!ul ride !ut !n
t! the dar&, #l!atin" and 9ui%erin" !n the #r!st' air ab!%e the blac& car2 ' pers!nalit' has been
snipped #r! ' b!d' n!), as i# b' sciss!rs, t! ride al!n" the ni"ht )ind a"ainst an' c!ld star(
E%er'thin" #l!)s !ut !# e in a l!n" e##!rtless catharsis, p!urs !n t! the dar&ness, lic&ed b' the
airs( This is the eanin" !# #reed!( 1' !ne' has p!ured !ut !# ' p!c&ets, ' cl!thes #allen
#r! e, e%er' bit !# tissue sl!u"hed( E%er'thin" is clear in this stru""le t! reach her( The car
huin" li&e a t!p, staerin", ban"in" r!und c!rners )ith its insane #i6ed e'es2 the carpet !#
li"ht racin" al!n" the dar& arterial r!ads2 the distance bein" patientl' c!nsued( . a in a &ind !#
#anatical ia"er' n!), unreal, !%in" thr!u"h this a9uariu !# #eelin"s, c!nsci!us !# n!thin" but
the bl!!d thinnin" in ' %eins, and the sl!) #ear#ul heart(
We #all t!"ether li&e #i"ures ade !# #eathers, a!n" the s!#t sn!)' de)laps !# the cattle,
the steain" c!!ti!n !# %!ices and cud( The l!!se blac& !uth )ith its %!ice !# en!r!us
%!lue( We are surr!unded )ith #riendl' cattle li&e a =hristas8card picture, !n the "r!und, !ur
b!dies eptied !ut !# their cl!thes( .t is a ne) nati%it' )hen . enter her, the en!r!us cit'
cr!uched bet)een her le"s2 !r a #r!st8b!und la&e, abs!lutel' a)are !# the ad%enturer, the pil"ri,
the c!l!ni;er( The sn!) is #allin" in ' !uth, ' ears, ' s!a&ed cl!thes( This is a blunt %!'a"e
!# the !st e69uisite rec&!nin"( Enter( $he has bec!e an ia"e in rubber, n!t the sallest b!ne
)hich )ill n!t elt t! sn!) under the stead' #ricti!n !# the penis( The h!t tha) spreads ra)
patches !# "rass under us> e%er' abstracti!n n!) is bleedin" a)a' int! the sn!):death, li#e,
desire( .t is s! #atal, this act a!n" the cattle( We are en"r!ssed b!bbins !n a hu"e l!! !# terr!r,
&n!)in" n!thin", )ishin" t! &n!) n!thin" !# !ur uni%erse, its achiner'( When she c!es it/s all
pearls and icicles eptied #r! her )!b int! the sn!)( The penis li&e a d!lphin )ith an'
uscles and blac& hu!r, l!llin" up t! eet the sun( The #i" suddenl' br!&en int! a stic&' tip that
is all #eale( $he is lau"hin" hide!usl'( The car is standin" a!n" the cattle, n! less intelli"ent
than the'( Dnder e is n! pers!nalit' an' !re but a c!p!site t'pe !# all desire( Enter( . d! n!t
rec!"ni;e ' arctic sister( Dnder ' heart the delicate tappets !# a heart2 ' penis trapped in an
ine6!rable %al%e, dra)in" these shapes and ch!rds !ut !# e ine6haustible, li&e t!!thpaste( The
cattle are &indl' and interested in a "entleanl' )a'2 the car urbane as a etal butler( Dnder '
the)s, trapped in bracts and sphincters, a uni9ue destructi!n( $he is )eepin"( Her spine has been
li9ue#ied, dra)n !ut !# her( $he is #illeted, the -a) telesc!ped )ith lan"ua"e, e'es "lass'( Dnder
' !uth a r!u"ed %a"ina spea&in" a barbaric lau"hter and nibblin" ' t!n"ue( .s it all )ar and
ra)> a spiritual autun )ith -ust that scent !# c!rrupti!n, that uch death in it, t! a&e it palatable(
4 eal !# "ae )ell8hun" pi"8scented tan"'( $uch a %enis!n, !re delicate than the "us !#
babies !r little #ishes( Open t! e !nce li&e that and the <!les are sha&en !ut !# their !rbits, the s&'
#alls d!)n in a #an !# planets( . a the !)ner !# the illi!n )!rds, the ciphers, the dead
%!cabularies( .n this iense ceilin" !# s)an/s8d!)n there is n!thin" le#t but a lau"hter that !pens
hea%en> a hal#8li#e, runnin" !n the batteries( . a eatin" the sn!) and drin&in" '!ur tears( $tand
a"ainst the hed"e t! sni%el and a&e )ater )hile the shi%ers run d!)n '!ur spine( A!u are
beauti#ul all !# a sudden( A!ur #ear a&es e err'(4 %er' err' =hristas t! '!u and '!urs( .
a sa'in" it insanel' !%er and a"ain( 4 %er' err' =hristas t! '!u and '!urs( $he runs at e
suddenl' )ith blunt #ists raised, sh!utin" )ildl'( En!r!us dar& e'es )ith the "reen and red li"hts
"r!)in" #r! the( The cattle dra) bac& s!#tl' !n the carpet( Her tears punch little h!t h!les in the
sn!)( . a happ'( A!u )ill "! ab!ut #r! n!) !n )ith an !%erripe edlar han"in" !ut bet)een
'!ur le"s, '!ur )!b burst li&e the tip !# the R!an #i"( But e%en this brutalit' "!es )hen . #eel
the b!nes a"ainst e, alleable and tender as "u2 the ea"er )hiperin" anial dressed in the
cl!th !penin" up t! e, )ider and )ider, s!#ter than t!##ee, until the bland s&' is hea%' )ith #allin"
#eathers, an"els, sil&, and there is a s)!rd br!&en !## s!#tl' in ' b!)els( . a l'in" here 9uite
ruined, li&e a bas&et#ul !# spilt e""s, but happ'( Vulnerable, but l'in" in '!u here, at peace )ith
'sel#> the tides dra)in" bac& #r! e, "atherin" up the dirt and scur# !# thin"s, the tha)ed pus
and %en!, and puri#'in" e( . a at peace( .t is all #allin" a)a' #r! e, the )h!le !# ' 1e
eptied !ut in '!u li&e a p!c&et#ul !# s!iled pennies( The #aces !# the )!rld, ,!b! and 1arne', the
children, <eters, the car, Bracie, the en!r!us sn!), statues, hist!r', ice, di%init'( .t is #!re%er,
'!u are sa'in" )ildl', )ith "reen lips, red lips, )hite lips, blue lips, "reen lips( .t is #!re%er( Our
li%es st!p here li&e a strip !# cinea #il( This is an eternal still li#e, in the sn!), t)! cr!!&ed
b!dies, eatin" the sec!nd !# idni"ht and sni%elin"( We )ill die here in this ra) a"!n' !#
c!n%alescence, b' the iceb!und la&e, the cit' l'in" 9uiet a!n" its litter !# )hiperin", blind
steeples(
The' ust be sa'in" "!!d ni"hts n!) all !%er the )!rld( . a sa'in" "!!d8b' t! part !# '
li#e, n!, part !# ' b!d'( .t is irrati!nal( . d! n!t &n!) )hat t! sa'( .# . ta&e '!ur hand it is ' !)n
hand . a &issin"( The a9uariu a"ain, )ith e%er'thin" sl!)ed d!)n t! the tep! !# deep )ater(
B!!d8b' t! ' !)n b!d' under the )indill, )eepin" in the deep sn!), n!se, an&le, )rist ade
!# #r!st' ir!n a"ain( Help e( O el!9uent, -ust and i"ht' death( The "reat an%il !# the #r!st is
p!undin" us( The cattle are a#raid( ,et e put ' hand bet)een '!ur le"s #!r )arth( $pea& t! '
rin"ers )ith '!ur delicate !uth, '!ur pill!) !# #lesh( . a a s)ier a"ain, !%in" in a
ph!t!"raph )ith "reat, uncertain, plausible "estures t!)ard '!u(
. ha%e said "!!d ni"ht and dra)n the car !ut sl!)l' h!e)ard( There is n! #eelin" in '
hands !r #eet( 4s th!u"h the l!c!!ti%e centers had been eaten a)a'( Tired(
H!t scent !# !il al!n" the "reat arterial r!ad( There is n!t a #racti!n !# ' li#e )hich is n!t
le#t behind )ith '!u, bac& there, in the sn!)s(
.n the h!tel the li"hts bla;e( The stillness !# the little death han"s al!n" the c!rrid!rs( ,!b!
is l!c&ed in his r!!, his hea%' head bent !%er the chart( 4t his bac& the )ireless "i%es !ut the
barn'ard !rchestrati!ns !# -a;;( Fr! tie t! tie he )ill raise his e'es and let the rest !n his
pencil b!6( N!t thin&in", nub, the iris !# each e'e #!cusin" its dar& %ent !n the 1a'an eternit'(
He )ill let the tepid piddle !# the usic s9uirt c!!ll' !%er hi, )ith!ut attendin" t! it( He )!uld
li&e t! cr'( Ne6t d!!r 1iss Venable )restles )ith ins!nia( 3ial( 3etecti%e n!%els( O%altine(
Teacups( The bad lap/ han"s its 'ell!) ebrane !%er her( The n!%el palls( H!) eas' t! p!ur
hersel# !ut an !%erd!se !# 3ial !ne !# these #ine )inter ni"hts, at the #ull !!n( $he tries t! thin& !#
B!d( Three st!ries up =lare is l'in" in bed( Tar9uin stands !%er hi tal&in"( The )ind!) is !pen
and sn!) is bl!)in" in !n the #l!!r( The 'ell!) e'es are sard!nic( =!nnie has entered int! their
draa suddenl' and instituted a ne) !rder !# thin"s( T! =lare/s salar' an increase !# three p!unds a
)ee&2 t! Tar9uin/s l!r%e a &ind !# internal stran"ulati!n, a hernia( H!)e%er, he is tal&in" lar"el'(
The ne) %ie) !# li#e, etc( +Tell e ab!ut her,+ he sa's bra%el', his n!se 9ui%erin"( This pathetic
p!se !# indi##erence auses =lare( +Tell e7+ He )ants t! be ade t! )ri""le, t! be stun",
)hipped b' details( N!)ada's he can #eel s! little, reall'( +. )ant us t! /be #riends, =lare dear,+ he
sa's sh'l'( +Tell e e%er'thin"( =!n#ide in e(+
+Well,+ sa's =lare in his cr!a&in" %!ice, saturnine, +i# '!u ust &n!), she/s a dirt' bitch(
When ./ n!t there it/s candles, !r h!t s!ap and )ater in a b!ttle( $ee* .t/s a c!rrid!r, that/s )hat it
is, see* $he li&es it #r! behind !n $unda's t! reind her !# her !ld an 0!seph, see*+
Tar9uin has t! lea%e be#!re he %!its( .n his r!! he )al&s ab!ut li&e a sh' little "irl2 he
)ill n!t spea& t! an'!ne( .# . had the tie and the ener"' . c!uld be reall' s!rr' #!r hi( =!nnie in
that "as8lit #lat )ith the bl!!d runnin" !ut !# her as #ast as the p!rt runs d!)n her thr!at> bl!!d !n
the t!)els, the curtains, the bedc!%ers, the pill!)( Bl!!d e%er')here: and his little Bree& =lare
cleanin" his )hite teeth and helpin" hisel# #r! the bul"in" handba"( Or the ni"ht !# the part'
)hen the "as )ent !ut, and '!u c!uld see suddenl' the s!nata bl!tted !ut b' the dar&( The pian!
li&e a dub bu##al! there, and =lare tr'in" t! !unt her !n the pian! st!!l, )ith stran"e unc!uth
!%eents( Tar9uin l!c&s the d!!r !# his r!! e%er' ni"ht n!) t! #eel sa#e #r! the bl!!d( He
pla's 3a%id and 0!nathan )ith his pill!) these da's but it is n! "!!d( .t is n! "!!d at all(
.t is s! %er' silent here at ni"ht> ' r!! aputated #r! the planet( 4 lab!rat!r' han"in"
in space )here the )hite8c!ated intelli"ence ., clinical H!l' Bh!st, br!!d #!re%er a!n" the b!ttles
and the pic&led #etuses( 1e!r' has an' )aitin" r!!s( The train #!r the end !# space has been
si"naled( $hall )e run !ut a!n" the ca%ern!us sheds t! eet the !nster* The truth is that . a
)ritin" ' #irst b!!&( .t is di##icult, because e%er'thin" ust be included> a &ind !# spiritual
itinerar' )hich )ill establish the n!%el !nce and #!r all as a !de )hich is alread' past its seniu(
. tell 'sel# c!ntinuall' that this ust be s!ethin" )ith!ut be"innin", s!ethin" )hich )ill
ne%er end, but c!nclude !nl' )hen it has reached its !)n "enesis a"ain> %er' )ell, a piece !#
literar' perpetual !ti!n, balanced !n a hair, aintainin" its precari!us e9uilibriu bet)een li#e
and heraldr'( With the path!s !# Tar9uin/s diar' . insist that e%er'thin" ust be included( .t is
di##icult( F!r instance, there is n! cate"!r' !# irrele%ances( E%er'thin" ch!sen is rele%ant( There are
n! can!ns:sh!uld be n!ne( .t is a h'p!thetical pr!phec' . drea ab!ut in this area !# the ni"ht,
al!ne, che)in" paper, !r anch!rin" ' hands #ast until !rnin"( The di##iculties are s! en!r!us
that . a tepted t! be"in at !nce> t! tr' and escape #r! the chaste seinar' !# literature in )hich
. ha%e been ipris!ned t!! l!n"( E%er'thin" ust be accepted, includin" Tar9uin, and transuted
int! the stu## !# p!e( There is '!ur b!d', #!r instance, )hich rises up !%er the un)ritten b!!& li&e
a )all !# sn!)> the c!p!nent parts !# the da' endin" in an a"!n' !# rebirth:unless '!u ha%e
'!ur peri!d7 There are acres !# h'steria )hen )e )eep t!"ether )ea&l' #!r n! reas!n at all2 there is
that !ist, #riendl' tar"et under '!ur dress, s! 'steri!us in its siplicit' that . cann!t &eep a)a'
#r! it, returnin" each tie t! the heart !# the eni"a as !ne i"ht return t! a "n!ic %erse and
#ind a ne) eanin" in the sn!) each tie( 4ll this is such ripe atter #!r the b!!& that . d! n!t
&n!) h!) t! be"in it( . a seri!us( .t is such a b!!& as Bre"!r' c!uld n!t e%en ia"ine, c!uld n!t
e%en be"in t!plan( The little "reen sn!)an sittin" in his !)n shad!), &eepin" the cr!)s !## his
)!r& )ith )ild s)eeps !# the pen( Bre"!r' and the !nstr!us beha%i!r !# literature )hich he used
as a cl!a& #!r his terr!rs and realities( $tran"e cha!tic ch!rds )hich #ill the diar'( . ha%e been
readin" it a"ain, pu;;lin" !%er it, and the realities )hich it deals )ith( ( ( (
Here Bre"!r' be"ins>
That . t!! ha%e nursed literar' pretensi!ns, . )ill n!t dis"uise #r! 'sel#2 that . ha%e n!)
#inall' re-ected the is pr!%ed b' the air' n!nchalance !# this -!urnal, ha, ha( B' its %er'
#ra"entar' character, )hich preser%es !nl' the !st casual e6cursi!ns a!n" ' e!ries( Aes(
4t !ne tie . had accuulated e%er' principle, e%er' can!n !# art, )hich is necessar' #!r the
anu#acture !# a literar' "entlean( N!) . n!t !nl' despise the can!n, but !re the creature
hisel#> the "ent( . a a saurian, . than& '!u, but n!t )asp8)aisted as 'et(
The thee !# ' !nl' b!!& is !ne )hich e%en n!) !ccasi!nall' entices e, insists !n its
#!ral e6cellence in a )!rld !# shapeless, inele"ant edi!crities( . had planned this )!r& as a
pr!#!und s'nthesis !# 1e:as an epitaph t! the a"e( .ts thee )as re%elr'2 its title:i# . a' a&e
s! b!ld )ith the sensibilities !# the )!rld:DR.NE( $ipl' the di%inel' !r"anic )!rd in "!ld Bill
$ans !n )hite paper( .t )as t! be a sall b!!&, ab!ut the len"th !# Re' de B!ur!nt/s 4Ni"ht in
the ,u6eb!ur"( .ts siplicit' )!uld ha%e deli"hted that delicate literar' #encer( But let e
e6plain(
.n $iberia, . ha%e read, there is bre)ed a drin&, )h!se nae . d! n!t recall, but )h!se
p!tence is due t! an in#usi!n !# uscarine:a p!is!n !btained #r! the beauti#ul scarlet ushr!!
#l' a"aric( 4 re"ular t!per/s t!csin( But !re( The acti%e principle in the bre), the uscarine, is
eliinated b' the &idne's, and passes int! )aste2 int! the #luid )h!se nae ?. a t!! #astidi!us t!
&eep )ritin" it d!)n@ #!rs the title !# ' !pus( Fr! this disc!%er' dates a curi!us and deli"ht#ul
cult( Whene%er there is #eudal err'a&in" ab!%e8stairs in the $iberian bar!nial halls, the ser%ants
a%ail thesel%es !# the )aste pr!ducts !# the #esti%it' t! d! a bit !# err'a&in" !n their !)n(
A!u be"in t! see the $atanic iplicati!ns !# the thin"* Belie%e e, e%en n!), Ol'pian as . a, .
al!st re"ret ha%in" re-ected it( .ts sc!pe is per#ect, lea%in" n! r!! #!r th!se pers!nal re#lecti!ns
!# the auth!r )hich pr!%ide the tediu !# hal# the n!%els published( N!ne !# '!ur %a"ue
!rali;in"s !r c!nteplati%e trances( N!thin" but the bare anat!' !# narrati%e:nude and pure as
a )inter landscape( $ipl' this>
4 part' ab!%e and bel!)8stairs( 1an pr!p!sin" the t!asts, and the ser%ants #urti%el'
disp!sin" !# the huiliatin" e%idences !# its ultiate )aste( The lin& c!nnectin" the t)! planes is,
sipl', )aste( The "!lden "ains #!r )hich the #urti%e %alet sp!!rs the chaber p!ts is pr!#!undl'
s'b!lic( .ts si"ni#icance . shall n!t d)ell up!n( Here is '!ur ans)er t! e%er' h!el'
c!!nplace( 4 carni%al part' in acti!n( $luts and sluttishness ab!%e8stairs and bel!)( On either
plane the s!8called acti!n is sipl' er!tic #!rula:l!%e t!asted b' the aster, the &itchenaid
t!asted b' his an( The sae t!csin )ars a ultitude !# c!c&les(
Reall', . tell 'sel#, reall' s!e da' s!!n . shall be enticed int! be"innin" it( Dntil then, let
e !##er this title pa"e t! '!ur ia"inati!ns:)hat "!nadal ecstasies shine beneath the siple
s'b!l, )hat pr!ises7
DR.NE
b' 3eath Bre"!r', Es9(Here Bre"!r' ends(
! ! !
.t is s! silent here at ni"ht( 4b!%e all, s! silent( . lie a)a&e> the essential ., that is, #r!
)h! . e6pect resp!nse t! n!ise, t! "esture( The !ther, the n!t8e, the #i"ent, the ebr'!, the
)hite s!ethin" )hich li%es behind ' #ace in the irr!r, is lulled under"r!und, hibernatin"( The
!pulence !# the sn!) steas d!)n ' e'eballs( . dare n!t sleep because . ne%er drea ab!ut her(
.nstead . "! t! the )ind!) and c!unicate )ith the statues !ut there( The plaster !utla)s !n the
"rass( Their pers!nalities are a atch #!r e !n such a 3eceber e%enin"( =ada%er!us the trees( 4
late train dra)s a)a' acr!ss the indistinct ha;e !# the !!n, a bri"ht ner%e !# c!l!r( . a #ull !#
irrati!nal ideas( . shall "! up, perhaps, and spea& t! Tar9uin( 3isturb ,!b! under the pretense !#
s!e ip!rtant ne)s( But ha%in" s! latel' le#t '!u it is as i# . a in a suit !# ar!r( =hain8ail
reticence( . a l!nel' but . d! n!t )ish t! see an'!ne( 4 p!e, then* H!) ab!ut a #ine ch!p8
lic&in" p!e ab!ut '!u, ab!ut the sn!) and the cattle* The pen is cl!""ed )ith blac& in&( O
el!9uent, -ust and i"ht' death etc( . a t!! #ull !# '!u( ,et e di"est( ,et e di"est( .t is in such
a !!d that . slip d!)n a!n" the trees, acr!ss the derelict p!nd, t! the "rass8#rin"ed "ara"e,
pausin" #!r a sec!nd t! c!unt the li"hted )ind!)s( ,!b! still a)a&e and =lare( 4ll ni"ht n!) . )ill
dri%e the blac& car under the !!n in an a"!n' !# escape:. d! n!t &n!) #r! )hat( Escape, under
a #ull !!n, )ith the #ields tra%elin" a)a' beside e, the silent #ars and c!tta"es, the #acile
ancient spires( .# . c!uld reach the sea . )!uld be at rest( .ts en!r!us breathin" and sp!n"in" the
dead b!d' !# the st!nes )!uld 9uiet e( . )!uld ept' '!u int! it )ith!ut cere!n', the part !#
'!u )hich . carr' ab!ut )ith e, li%in" !n e( . )!uld dup '!u li&e a c!rpse and turn bac& t! the
cit' )ith re#reshent( But there are !nl' these etal r!ads al!n" )hich )e screa all ni"ht until
the !!n diss!l%es and the #irst sta"nant e""s are p!ached !n the sn!)( The streas are #r!;en
!%er( . )al& beside the !n the "rass, n!) sti## )ith rie, in a illi!n priapic blades2 . )al&
9uic&l', )ith a li"ht step, as i# t! s!e ip!rtant app!intent( .# . #ind a dead r!bin under the
bushes . slip it in ' p!c&et )ith a pre!ccupied air, as i# . ha%e n! tie t! e6aine it( The cattle
retreat #r! e )ith %a"ue alar, duc&in" their "reat heads and )atchin" e !ut !# the c!rner !#
their e'es( When . can stand it n! l!n"er the car dra)s !ut a"ain, c!u"hin" and r!arin" d!)n the
r!ads in the ribb!ned sn!)( . ha%e a s'path' )ith this tepid steel hull )hich . ha%e learned t!
ana"e s! de#tl'( . s)itch the li"hts !n and !##2 . !pen the thr!ttle )ith a sudden screa2 . sin"
l!udl' !ut !# the )ind!)( 4t nine Eustace 4das )ill be sittin" )ith the p!ached sun balanced !n
his sha""' craniu( The children )ill be )hisperin" and sni""erin"( 1arne' bl!)in" his tulip and
shudderin"( 4n!ther da' !penin" #r! the na%el !# ' iser'> #r! the !ent )hen )e #all, li&e
#i"ures ade !# #eathers, in the sn!)( .t is in this da)n, runnin" d!)n the l!n" r!ads t! the place .
call h!e, that . be"in a"ain the en!r!us under)ater "estures t!)ard an!ther ni"ht and '!u,
spreadin" the "l!! )ith sl!) %a"ue hands t!)ard '!u( E%er'thin" is plausible n!) because
n!thin" is real( . a stretched li&e a %i!lin strin", t! snappin" p!int, until t!ni"ht(
1!rnin" at last, li&e a #e%er( The ash tra's are #ull, the l!un"es are bein" s)ept, the b!!ts
retrie%ed b' their !)ners( The #ires are lit( Tar9uin is )al&in" d!)n a%enues !# cinders )ith bare
#eet( . ha%e n! patience )ith the diar' t!da'(
4t the bare deal des& . shield 'sel# behind ' #ists and p!re !n the "reen )ritin"
sa%a"el'( The children stretch a)a' li&e a sea, int! the )!b and be'!nd it, li&e a hu"e "arden
planted )ith sn!tt'8n!sed turnips and bul"in" s)edes( Bre"!r' $t'lites, help e thr!u"h an!ther
subarine da' !r . shall die(
Here be"ins Bre"!r'>
.n the d!" da's there )ere l!n" e##!rtless phases, spent e6clusi%el' t!"ether, )hich a&e
the c!re !# !st !# ' e!ries( N!t #actual:#!r )hat e%erhappens* But a &ind !# ar!atic
stretch, #!r"!tten bet)een the lea%es !# a b!!& #!r centuries> the #rail delicate %eins !# !ur
ad%enture( The h!tel )as ept'2 e%er'!ne seeed t! ha%e "!ne a)a' !r died( .t )as this death !#
the !uter )!rld that "a%e !ur e6clusi%eness its #la%!r( .a"ine it( Wh!le da's in )hich n! !ne
cae t! see us2 there )as n!t e%en a rin" at the #r!nt d!!r( We r!se late and l!un"ed all da', hal#8
dressed, pla'in" #antastic "aes )ith each !ther( Hide and see&, #!r e6aple( Dp!n ' h!n!r, hide
and see& in the ept' c!rrid!rs !# the h!tel( Or bandits and p!lice( Or ,ud!, a "ae )hich . ha%e
al)a's detested(
Or, )hen . )as e6hausted b' cra)lin" !n the #l!!r l!)in" li&e a bull, )hile Bracie
atad!red e )ith a red dressin" "!)n, . in#licted ' literar' "arba"e !n her( 1' n!%el, '
letters #r! the in#ernal re"i!ns, e%en the !nl' p!e . e%er )r!te, )hich be"ins> +The cl!uds are
' en!r!us libs, )h!se c!n%alescent shape, 3a)dle !n beds !# d!)n, and 'et, .n%ite a #urther
rape(+ 4nd s! !n( This lae practice #!r a literar' career, )hich i# . had !nl' pursued it, )!uld
ha%e ended ' li#e in the 4bbe':!r at least in all the p!pular anth!l!"ies( Then there )as '
diar', the little blac& b!!& in )hich the "reen in& s!&es li&e an' -e)els( Bracie is the !nl' !ne
)h! has e%er had ' diar' read t! her2 she is the !nl' !ne )h! has dared t! si"nal this in!r
eclipse )ith a l!n" s!len #ace and a l!!& !# utter pu;;leent( Aet, sittin" there in the archair,
she ne%er li#ted a #in"er, but listened )ith heartbrea&in" raptness t! e%er' )!rd(E%er' )!rd(
Breater l!%e hath n! an, etc(
+,!!&,+ . sa' t! her( +Wh' listen t! all this stu##* Tell e ab!ut '!ursel#( ,et e
i!rtali;e '!u )ith p!l's'llabic taste(+
+N!, h!nest, Bre"!r', . li&e it( What . understand( .t/s n!t e%er'thin", but Rachel ( ( (+
+4h, '!u li&e Rachel*+
+Was '!u arried t! her*+
+N!(+
+Was she ((( a street )!an, a bad !ne*+
+N!( $he )as an art student(+
+3id she let '!u ((( . ean ((( she )as a "irl !# "!!#abl' )asn/t she*+
+Her #ather )as a s!ap &in"(+
+=!!(+
+Aes(+
+A!u )as arried but n!t churched, eh*+
+Aes(+
+The !ther/s n!t interestin"( Read e s!e !re ab!ut Rachel( What &ind !# cl!thes did she
)ear*+
+Dsuall' n!ne(+
+Ha%en/t '!u n! descripti!n !# her cl!thes*+
+N!ne( ,!!&, Bracie, )h' listen t! all this* Tell e '!ur li#e and ./ll )rite it d!)n in a
st!r'( That/s !re interestin"(+
+O!er, ' li#e* What are '!u tal&in" ab!ut* ./ -ust !rdinar'( N!thin" #r! the c!!n, .
a(+
+That/s )h'(+
+./ a bad "irl(+
+B!!d(+
+But . ne%er t!!& !ne' #!r it unless . )as st!n' br!&e, h!nest t! B!d, cr!ss ' heart, a'
. die i# ./ l'in"(+
+./ll a&e a n!te !# it(+
There )as B!b( On these ild !rnin"s, )hen the cl!uds are li&e en!r!us libs spra)led
in )eariness a#ter an !r"as ?ac&n!)led"ents@, )e tal& ab!ut B!b( B!b is a s!urce !# "reat
iser' t! Brace because he d!ne a #lit !n her( He )as a #ine upstandin" b!', !# a "!!d #ail'( His
#ail' !)ned a radi! sh!p( He t!!& a #anc' t! her, and she t!!& a #anc' t! hi( The' #ell( 1arria"e
)as !n the cards, because in th!se da's, and in spite !# her #ather, Brace )as a %ir"in, entirel'
educated b' the cinea in )hich !ran"e bl!ss! is al)a's depicted as the ri"ht true end !# ler%e(
O(K( he had said, l!!&in" as uch li&e a c!n9uerin" "unan as p!ssible( O(K( But there )ere
c!nditi!ns attached t! this business )hich she )!uld ha%e t! #ul#ill #irst(
He )as p!!r, and she )as h!nest( O(K( Then )h' )ait #!r the ere cash t! arri%e* Where
)as the p!int !# it all* B!b used t! sa', )ith #ine buc&ishness, sn!rtin" ci"arette s!&e and l!llin"
!n his suptu!us elastic cal%es> +,isten, bab', '!u lea%e it t! e, see*+ 4nd Brace )!uld nubl'
lea%e hi 9uite al!ne and puissant in the territ!r' !# ideas( +. &n!) ' stu##, bab'(+ He )!uld
c!ntinue, +/4%e n! #ear( .t/ll all be s)ell(A!u see( Aes $.R( Oil sa'(+ R!llin" his sall blue beads(
+Oil sa'(+ He )as a patr!n !# the 4lban' )hen he had the !ne'2 a str!n" supp!rter !# that
$)edish an8eater, Breta Barb!2 a ban-! pla'er !# n! ean caliber( 4b!%e all, a "!!d
businessan( Aes $.R( Oil sa'( $aturda' ni"hts he )!uld #eel her #urti%el' in !ne !# the %ari!us
cineas( 4nd !ne re%erberatin" $unda' a#tern!!n he de#l!)ered her clusil' !n the "!l# lin&s
)here the' )ere +c!urtin"(+ O(K( Or rather, n!t 9uite s! O(K( Bracie )ept a little bit, partl' #r!
surprise, but !stl' #r! pain( But B!b s!!n s!!thed her )ith a #ine line !# tal&, pleasantl' salted
)ith "unan slan"( Was he a cheap s&ate, he as&ed indi"nantl'* Was he a h!!dlu* N!( Then
)h' all the #uss* +When . sa's s!ethin" is O(K(, &idd!, it/s O(K(,+ he int!ned(
The #!ll!)in" $aturda' a#tern!!n #!und her sittin" nubl' in the nearest #ree clinic #!r the
teachin" !# c!ntracepti!n( B!b )as a cle%er lad( 4 )ise "u', see* On her #in"er she )!re, )ith a
#ri"htened air, a #i%e8b!b )eddin" rin"( 4 he#t' circle !# brass( $he re"istered hersel# as 1rs(
$ith, and )as initiated int! the priapic 'steries( Well, B!b had s!l%ed the !ne pressin" pr!ble,
%i;( H!) t! &eep her )ind and )ater ti"ht( His tenantr' be"an, )ith an !pti!n !n a ninet'8'ear
lease later !n(
The !pti!n, h!)e%er, )as ne%er claied( Their a##air dra""ed !n #!r a 'ear !r s!, thr!u"h
%ari!us %icissitudes( Then B!b )as !##ered a tra%eler/s -!b in 1anchester, )hich he t!!& in his
stride( E%en then there )as the %a"ue understandin" that i# it turned !ut all ri"ht, etc(, etc(, and
pr!spects )ere "!!d, etc(, etc(, the' )!uld arr'( N!t s!( 4 #e) !nths later she "!t a letter #ull !#
interestin" Ed)ardian phrases ?B!b )as a user !# <en#!ld/s 1anual,The Bentle8ans ,etter8
Writer, si6pence at an' b!!&stall@, callin" the )h!le deal !##( A!un" pe!ple, the letter be"an, !#ten
d! thin"s !n ipulse, rec&in" n!t the c!st( 4nd a l!t !re !#ten stu## ab!ut ta&in" the "entlean/s
)a' !ut, and 9u!tes #r! Re%elati!n( The letter she still &eeps in her handba", al!n" )ith less
interestin" eent!s:stic&' t!##ees, #il ph!t!s, lipstic&, and a cheap pac&et !# c!nd!s(
Readin" it al!ud t! e, she !!ns s!#tl' and sadl' !n the #ate B!b le#t her t!( .n an el#/s %!ice she
tells e h!) upri"ht and h!nest he )as in all !ne' atters( What a card he )as, al)a's in
deand at parties( O# c!urse the letter, #!r all its tra"ic ne)s ?perhaps because !# it@, she c!nsiders
a asterpiece !# its &ind(
But it is n! use tr'in" t! s!lder this !ld stu## t! the present, t! a&e it t!pical( .n these d!"
da's n!thin" is ?)as*@ t!pical e6cept the #antas' )hich encircled us( The en!r!us nubians in the
s&' and Bracie airin" her repert!ire !# "aes #!r b!rin" a#tern!!ns( ,et e dr!p the hist!ric
present( .t is a de%ice that l!!&s a little shall!) a#ter a tie> as the c!n-urer . a sel#8c!nsci!us,
'es, there is the a!rist( .t )as up ' slee%e all the tie(
Bracie)as ' #ate> .$ dead( 4 s!rt !# ira"e, this )!rd . cann!t "rasp( 4 tinsel !!n !n a
"arish bac& cl!th( 4 circle !# blac&ness )hich bl!ts !ut all ne) h!ri;!ns( 4 rent in the clean
da'li"ht !# her 'ell!), pea&', little #ace( O(K( But i# !ne )ere t! start a 9uibble ab!ut tep!ral
realities )!uld the present tense -usti#' itsel#* .s she behind e sittin" in the chair, c!u"hin" !%er
the latest Fil <aper* . d! n!t turn r!und, because . &n!) at !nce that she is( .n bed, )!rn !ut,
lan"u!r!us, achin" )ith pleasure bet)een starched sheets* Aes( But !nl' )hen . a !n that
b!rderline !# the realities )hen e%er' abstracti!n has s!lidit', )ei"ht, %!lue( . can li#t desire in
' #in"ers li&e this sall bud !# a breast( . can see it, #eel it( .t enters ' e6perience li&e a
calait'(
Bracie and her err' tric&s7 <ran&s #!r )et a#tern!!ns7 The tie )e spend stic&in" pins in
the #uses and puttin" the h!tel in dar&ness( The s!len, )h!les!e en-!'ent )e deri%e #r! that
hu!rless blac& teleph!ne( Watch her sittin" there na&ed, pla'in" !ne !# B!b/s hair' pran&s !n the
l!cal butchers( This is earl' !rnin", ind '!u(
+.s that T""s the butcher*+ she sa's, %er' lad'li&e in a %!ice li&e a pat !# butter(
+Aus, ada( Hit his(+ The p!r&' assistant )ipin" his hands !n his apr!n( Then Bracie, in a
#ri"ht#ull' subtl' accented %!ice>
+3! '!u &eep drippin"*+
+3rippin", a/* ?sa', Fred, d! )e &eep drippin/*@( Aes, ada, )e d!(+
4nd Bracie sl!)l' eltin" d!)n int! lau"her, "rippin" her #ist hard bet)een her &nees, the
lau"hter "ushin" up in the )!n&' lun"> +Then )hat are '!u "!in" t! d! ab!ut it*+ The clic& !# the
recei%er and the endless s!#t )he)in" and cr!)in" )hich )as her lau"hter #illin" the little r!!(
What a rich -est7
4"ainst this edalli!n . !##er '!u an!ther, later, !re pu;;lin" picture2 a Happ' $nap ta&en
)hen realit' had at last cl!sed d!)n !n us:'sel# in a blac& s&ullcap ph!nin" #!r a #i%e8b'8t)!
cedar)!!d c!##in(=i8"tt( =i8"it,
! EF EG
T! '!ur r!antic, )h!se ind is cl!uded !%er b' his #alse %alues, the #inal tra"ed' !# l!%e
is death( N!t s!( . pr!test iediatel' a"ainst this idea( ,i#e is the !ne #!rce )hich has p!)er t!
suc& tra"ed' #r! us:and h!)e%er untiel' the end, )e a' be sure it is n!t t!! s!!n( ,i#e has
al)a's #inished )ith us )hen )e #!rsa&e it2 death is erel' the aesthetic c!n%enti!n )hich the
sard!nic pla')ri"ht b!)s t!( The #inal t!uch )hich shapes the piece:t!! abs!lute and per#ect t!
ha%e an' relati!n t! the pla' itsel#( What b!!& is di##erent #!r the )!rd Finis !n its last pa"e* 3e
B!ur!nt is ri"ht )hen he sa's that he )h! )eeps #!r Ophelia has n! aesthetic sense( True( What
tears !ne has are sti#led in the spectacle !# her adness( ,i#e had #inished )ith her, p!!r )retch,
be#!re death dra""ed her d!)nstrea, a s!ppin" lil' a!n" lilies( . lea%e Ribaud t! #!ll!) her
d!)nstrea t! the shall!)s, the )hite )retch a!n" the lilies, )ith the )hite lil'8#ace turned up
p!intless under a thatch !# #l!)in" hair( The ia"inati!n is sh!c&ed nub b' this %isi!n !# her
#l!atin" a)a'( 4nal';e it, and '!u )ill see this is still the re#lecti!n !# her adness(
W!rds( W!rds( $! an' )!rds( 4ll this, !# c!urse, t! ipress up!n '!u the essential
appr!priateness !# Brace/s death2 the abs!lute li"htness !# her l'in" there, in strained )hite silence,
c!%ered b' #l!)ers( On her #ace, as . )atched her aiable #ather scre) her d!)n, there seeed t!
be a strain2 as i# she )ere speechlessl' interr!"atin" the silence )hich had bec!e her aster( 4
prett' siile #!r a dead pr!stitute* Hush7 We shall ha%e 0aes 3!u"las !n us )ith his stainless
battle8a6(
3eath cau"ht us !n the ups)in" !# e%ents, be#!re li#e had reall' staled( 4 "!!d sh!%e ((( a
scu##le ((( an !ath in the dar&ness ( ( ( and <rest!7 the lantern brea&s t! pieces !n the #l!!r and "!es
!ut( . !##er '!u a cedar)!!d Bracie, )ith l!%el' l!n" brass handles, s!#tl' "l!)in", and:Ophelia
did n!t d! hal# as )ell:)ith &n!bs !n(This is the real epitaph )hich she c!p!sed in !ne !# th!se
last dr!)s' !ents !# lucidit'( +B!!d ni"ht, bitch,+ !ne had said heartil'( +$leep n!) and "et up
)ell t!!rr!)( ./ sic& !# '!ur 'ell!) #ace( Bi%e us a si"n !# li#e(+
The li"ht )as s)itched !##( $he la' there in dar&ness pic&in" the sheet 9uietl' in l!n" bluish
#in"ers( Kn!)in" her as '!u d!, '!u d! n!t e6pect an' ans)er t! ' endearent as she lies there,
d! '!u* The li"ht )as !##2 !ther)ise the Bracie . ha%e created )!uld lie there and stare at e #!r
an a"e, e6pressi!nless, sa'in" n!thin"( <erhaps, standin" there in the dar& ?literature7 literature7@ .
)rite 'sel# d!)n as bein"a)are !# the ipers!nal stare !# her e'es( Truth is !re e6citin" than
#icti!n( . )ill tell '!u the truth(
F!r a !ent n! s!und( Wear', . stand at the d!!r, ab!ut t! lea%e the r!!( . e6pect
n!thin" !re( .nstead . a&e up a d!;en !r s! h'p!thetical scenes in )hich she reali;es h!) s!#t
and 9ui%erin" the essential e is, inside the carapace !# brutalit'( $he sa's, #!r instance, +=!e
here, Bre"!r',+ and re)ards ' !bedience )ith a l!n" &iss there in the dar&ness( Or she sa's,
+Bre"!r', d!n/t lea%e e, ./ scared(+ 3ear e( This is bec!in" cinea(
Then, as . stand there, she "i%es a sin"le hus&' chuc&le and sa's,+4nd the sae t! '!u )ith
&n!bs !n7+
.t is an iense c!#!rt t! ia"ine that in th!se last #e) da's Bracie did #ind a clue t! '
c!nduct( . )!uld li&e t! pr!test this p!int )ith %eheence( .# this )ere #icti!n . sh!uld describe
h!) . st!!d there, ' an&les turned t! )ater )ith relie#, seein" that at last she underst!!d e, had
#!und the per#ect #!rula !# recipr!cati!n(
<erhaps, a#ter all, truth is less e6citin" than #icti!n( This is the hi"h sp!t !# the tale, the cru6
!# !ur relati!nship( +With &n!bs !n+ is the suin" up !# all !ur di##erences, the epit!e !# !ur
l!%e( The critical p!int, as )hen, in an' Russian n!%el, the =hristian pr!ta"!nist, ha%in" speculated
#!r pa"es !n the pr!perties !# urder, actuall'd!es p!lea6 his "rand!ther( Dn#!rtunatel' . ust
ren!unce all th!se r!tund literar' e##ects )hich )!uld "i%e this nail parin" the place it deser%es in
' hist!r'( Ta&e it #!r )hat it is( . can !nl' pr!test #eebl', it is the truth( The !ne true t!uch !#
passi!nate banter )hich had been issin" #r! the be"innin"( <erhaps, a#ter all, it is . )h! a the
r!antic( Bracie/s epitaph and s)an s!n", in !ne phrase, )as this> W.TH KNOB$ ON(
.n the West N!r)!!d =eeter' )here she lies, '!u )ill see n!thin" but the bare inscripti!n
ab!%e her( The' )!uld n!t let e )rite !n the t!bst!ne> Here lies Bracie, )h! died in
19HI(W.TH KNOB$ ON(
With the #inal accurate banalit' !# his class her #ather !rdered the as!n t! en"ra%e !n the
e6pensi%e arble the i!rtal -est> BONE BDTNOT FORBOTTEN(
We sent her d!)n )ith an ar#ul !# a"ni#icent #l!)ers, as suptu!us as an' cinea
star/s, and this %ain pr!ise !# e!r'( What the #rail dec!p!sin" hus& deands #r! this, '
li#e, is a p!und !# li%in" #lesh( . a pa'in" here, t!!, h!)e%er sh'l', in "reen bl!!d( O# the
hu!r!us eternit' )hich st!le Bracie t! add t! its c!llecti!n let e reind 'sel# )al&in" a!n"
the ba;aar !# )hite as!nr', the an' t!bs, t! the !ne hide!us t!b, "arish )ith cherubs and
scr!lls> . sa' !%er and !%er a"ain t! 'sel#> +The real epitaph is W.TH KNOB$ ON(+
!
EF EF
But . ha%e anticipated cruell'( One !# the un#!rtunate thin"s ab!ut a pers!nal st'le, a
pers!nal -!urnal, is that !ne assues !ne/s reader/s &n!)led"e !# all the #acts( 4 -!urnal, then, i#
)ritten #!r !nesel#, )!uld be all but eanin"less t! the )!rld2 #!r !ne turns, n!t t! the spade)!r&,
the narrati%e, but t! the !st interestin" p!ints in it( ,!!& at e( . a in such a hurr' t! #inish the
-!b that . blurt !ut the end be#!re the be"innin"( .t is "!in" thr!u"h e at such a pace that . cann!t
distin"uish the %ari!us #la%!rs !# incident, in their chr!n!l!"ical !rder( ?. a a liar( .t is arti#ice
)hich dictates this #!r t! e(@ Or the )!rd death, li&e the )!rd #inis( .# '!u be"an F.N.$( +$he
died that . a' li%e, etc(+ .t a&es n! di##erence( .t a&es n! di##erence( .# the title pa"e )ere Finis
she )!uld still e6ist, a!rph!us, e%!cati%e, us&':a )hite &elpie luin!us !n the last pa"e(
?Thin& !# .!n lapsin" !## the )hite r!c& int! the sea, )hich "ur"les !%er her li&e a s!lid blue
'th( 4 sheath !# )ater !%er the hips, the pect!rals, the little planta"enet chin( 3!)n, d!)n,
turnin" and b!)in" a!n" the )hite chal& !# de#unct s9uids and the pedestrian deep )ater( .!n is
death translated in sudden luin!us ters b' a li%e 'th( .!n is dead, l!n" li%e the 'th( Write a
lar"e Finis )ith the &eel !# a liner( .!n li%es, . sa' triuphantl', she li%es( Here . can put ' hands
!n the )ar basalt and #eel her breathin" "rass int! ' !uth( . a l!sin" the thread( ( ( (@
One assues Ji# !ne ust res!rt t! !rdered sanit'@ a c!plete &n!)led"e in the reader, .
repeat> and sipl' supplies a #e) t)irls and #l!urishes:a caden;a in "reen:t! ensure !ne/s
pers!nal #ae( 4ll diaries ha%e been )ritten #!r an audience( F!r the sa&e !# p!sterit' then, let e
add a #l!)er !r t)! t! Bracie/s public p!s'( ,et e suppl' a #e) &n!bs, in all aditted %anit':
)hich is huilit'(
There is the business !# =lare, )h!, li&e Bla&e/s stran"er, cae and t!!& her )ith a si"h(
Kn!)in" =lare, . can ia"ine prett' )ell the #!r that seducti!n t!!&( Bin the #!undati!n,
r!ance the actual rubble, and a #ine ti"ht ceent !# #latter' and tinsel( H!) !#ten ha%e . seen the
sae drear' h!!& baited #!r the sentiental iss( <!!r #ell!), he )as unhapp'( He )as
isunderst!!d( There had been a "reat tra"ed' in his li#e:the e6pressi!n !# )hich )as intensi#ied
b' the "in and ball!!ns( He )!uld n!t !penl' tal& ab!ut it, e%en )hen pressed2 but as Bracie !nce
said, +A!u c!uld see it )rit all !%er hi7+ Oil sa'7 Dnder his care#ree -a;;in", his "litterin" #acade
!# sile and insinuati!n, '!u c!uld see %a"ue hints !# this secret iser'> li&e patches !# dap !n
an !ther)ise )hite ceilin"( <!!r =lare7 .t )as l!%e that had d!ne this thin" t! hi( The han" !# his
blue8blac& head pr!claied it( $in"in" as he leaned !%er his partner, the tears )!uld c!e int! his
e'es at the star& path!s !# the )!rds, the curd' )eepin" !# the sa6!ph!nes( +,!%e,+ he san" s!#tl',
caressin"l', +,!%e+ ?)ith a #!ur8beat rest@ +brin"s !ut the "'ps' in e(+ E%er'thin" pi%!ted ab!ut
l!%e( 4nd Bracie ?this is the suburban princess, reeber@ danced, starin" a)a' !%er his sh!ulder
li&e a blind cat, &n!)in" !nl' that her breathin" )as 9uic&ened b' the pressure !# his hand !n her
bac&b!ne(
$!eties in the sp!t dances he cupped her breast in his hand and pulled it )ith
sentiental elanch!lia( The iplicati!n bein" that his !)n pri%ate tra"ed' ade hi a tri#le
abstracted:a r!!tel' r!antic pla'#ell!) !n the lines !# 0ac9ues( F!r =lare e%en !tle' )as
e%er s! #aintl' tin"ed )ith a #etchin" iser'( 4 !dish elanch!l' )as his e%enin" )ear( Bracie
)as ensla%ed and enchanted( $e%eral ties, a little tips' a#ter the ball, she all!)ed =lare t! sa%a"e
her ?)ith sentient:h!) else*@ in the ta6i )hich ' b!unt' had pr!%ided( But all this )as ild
stu##> a r!utine per#!rance that e%er'!ne e6pected !# hi in ta6is( $he e6perienced it sedatel' in
the character !# al!st8a8)i#e, !r arried8but8n!t8churched( .t )as )hen he deanded sli"htl'
!re that the %a"uer ists dispersed and le#t her #ace t! #ace )ith the spuri!us realit' )hich the'
had anu#actured( Here )as ler%, a#ter all( 4nd t! Bracie ,!%e )as the lar"est and !st %i!lent
#l!)er !# R!ance(
=lare, '!u see, #elt a bit that Bracie !u"ht, b' ri"hts, t! #all in l!%e )ith hi( .t )as his
trade, )as it n!t* 4nd he !u"ht t! #all -ust a little in l!%e )ith her:en!u"h t! reach the bedr!!(
This is )hat pr!duced the an"' pant!ie in )hich the part all!tted t! e )as that !# $ir 0asper
1altra%ers( Bart(, )h! held the !rt"a"e !n Brace/s little pr!pert'( 1' snarls )ere supp!sed t!
ech! a!n" their h!ne'in"s( .t helped =lare n! end t! ha%e a b!na #ide %illain #!r the piece, t! set
!## his !)n "asc!nadin" #l!urishes( Dn#!rtunatel' )hen the tie cae ( ( ( but . anticipate(
On the 9uesti!n !# l!'alties Bracie )as #airl' str!n"( .t )!uld be un#air t! ta&e ' !ne'
and #!rsa&e e #!r =lare( +Na!, na!( <la' the "ae, . sa's t! 'sel#( <la' the "ae( Bre"!r'/s
been a chu t! '!u, . sa's, and d!n/t #!r"et it(+ This )as nice !# her( .t )as -ust this sel#8c!nsci!us
pinch !# h!n!r that c!plicated the achiner' !# l!%e en!u"h t! a&e the )h!le sh!) interestin"(
When =lare beat the )ind!) led"e !# the ta6i )ith his #ist and snarled that he c!uld n!t d! )ith!ut
her an!ther sec!nd, she #elt a little nubl' a#raid( <erhaps ?she hardl' dared t! thin& it@ he i"ht d!
s!ethin" rash( He i"htd! hisel# in( 4nd =lare, th!r!u"hl' pi9ued, )!r&ed hisel# up int! a
ra"e and be"an t! be scathin"( $he )as "utless, that/s )hat she )as( $he didn/t l!%e hi en!u"h( Or
did she* Then )h' )asn/t she prepared t! #!rsa&e all #!r l!%e* Wastin" her li#e !n a little shrip
li&e Bre"!r', )ith n! !re r!ance t! hi than a bulld!" ( ( ( etc(, etc( Brace )as %er' iserable(
The' c!#!rted each !ther a#ter these !utbursts and she be"an t! thin& that she ust reall' be in
l!%e )ith hi( The' tried e%er' recipe in the c!!&er' b!!& !# e!ti!n( One )ee& =lare )!uld
"r!) a little !rsel !# h!n!r !n his !)n pr!pert', and s)ear that she ust reain true t! e, and
n!t "i%e their l!%e an!ther th!u"ht( 4nd Brace, utel' n!ddin" her head, )!uld s9uee;e a #e)
l!'al tears #r! her e'es )ith di##icult' and en-!'ent( The' e!ted #re9uentl' t!"ether, these
little #icti!ns addin" a real spice t! it all(
On the $aturda' ni"ht in 9uesti!n =lare, %er' drun&, )as !re ip!rtunate, !re #etchin",
!re elanch!l', !re h!n!rable, and !re tra"ic than he had e%er been be#!re( He )as #uri!us
)ith Bracie( The #act )as that he had et a bre)er/s dau"hter in the <aul 0!nes )h! had in%ited
hi t! her Bri"ht!n %illa #!r the )ee&end( N!) i# it had n!t been #!r the spuri!us l!%e bet)een hi
and Bracie he c!uld ha%e accepted> -ust p!pped his partner int! the ta6i and said "!!d ni"ht( Bracie
)!uld ha%e -!""ed h!e, )hile he c!uld ha%e ta&en the )heel !# the sp!rts car beside his little
#inancial c!rner in <ale 4le( .t )as this H!eric ,OVE that uc&ed e%er'thin" up( F!rced t!
acc!pan' his 0uliet h!e he )as #uri!us( Bracie ust pa' the daa"es( 4cc!rdin"l' he raised
hell in the ta6i and sent the ercur' clibin"( Brace )as persuaded that the' c!uld neither !# the
li%e an!ther da' )ith!ut cr!)nin" their passi!n( .t becae iperati%e t! hand e ' little piece !#
su##erin"(
. )as sittin" b' the #ire )hen Brace cae in, tears in her e'es, sni##in" ildl'( .nstinct &ept
e silent( . pretended t! n!tice n!thin"( $ittin" d!)n in the chair !pp!site e she said, in a sall,
crea&' %!ice> +. l!%e /i, Bre"!r'( O!! . l!%e /i(+ .# her e'es had been less alarin"l' blind .
i"ht ha%e lau"hed( =l!sin" Bibb!n deurel' . s)itched !## the )ireless and as&ed #!r details,
)ith the #ailiar sensati!n !# #ree;in" al!n" ' abd!en( .t )as n! -!&e pla'in" a part in =lare/s
idi!tic as9ue, . reali;ed( $! #air and #!ul a da' . ha%e n!t seen( $he t!ld the tale sadl' en!u"h( .t
)as )hen she said, +He sa's . ust "! t! /i t!ni"ht !r it/s #inish t! us,+ that . becae alared(
Here )as ' cue( . c!uld see )hat )as e6pected !# e( Either ra"e:. c!uld &ic& her !ut:!r cal
husbandl' understandin"( +.# '!u thin& '!u l!%e this an, Eil', . shall n!t stand in '!ur )a', but
pra' t! B!d that this passin" in#atuati!n )ill pass and '!u be rest!red t! e )h!le( (((+
4ctuall' . said casuall', +3! '!u)ant t! "!*+ $he didn/t reall'( $he !nl' )anted t! ia"ine
hersel# "!in"( 4h7 H!) "!!d t! brea& the tediu !# d!esticit' )ith a #e) r!)s, scares, alars(
Aet ' pride deanded an iediate %!te !# c!n#idence( $ill', but perhaps pard!nable( 4s #!r
Brace, as '!u &n!), she )as -ust <lasticine( . c!uld ha%e c!n%inced her in a hal#8inute !# the
#alse p!siti!n she )as in( $he )as sipl' )aitin" t! see )hich )as the str!n"er #!rce, read' t! be
carried a)a' b' it( Nub as usual, and a little pleased that #!r !nce the eleents had decided t!
brea& !%er her head( .t )as, she #elt, in s!e curi!us, ine6plicable )a', tra"ic( (((
E%er'thin" )!uld ha%e been per#ect i# it had n!t been #!r ' pride( That hal#8sec!nd/s
pause a#ter . as&ed )hether she reall' )anted t! "! )as en!u"h t! !utra"e the pr!#essi!nal husband
in e( . &ne) !# c!urse that she hesitated sipl' because shedid n!t &n!) )hether she )anted t!
"! !r n!t( $he )!uld ne%er &n!)( But t! han" #ire !n a p!int li&e that ( ( ( Obtusel' . said, +Well
'!u ust "!, !# c!urse, i# that is the state !# a##airs(+ This, '!u see, be"ins ' per%erse business !#
t!rturin" 'sel#( +B! !n( =han"e '!ur cl!thes and run al!n"(+ ?Wh' did she n!t pr!test*@ $he sat
there )ith her t!es turned in and said n!thin"( . #iddled in a lad'li&e )a' )ith the #ire t! rest!re '
ner%e( Repeated, +B! !n, Brace(+ .t )as a delici!us sensati!n, li&e standin" !n the ed"e !# a cli##(
W!uld she, a#ter all, "!* B' B!d, she )!uld pa' #!r it i# she did7 +Bet !n )ith it,+ . sh!uted
an"ril'( +Hurr' up and chan"e(+
$he "!t up sl!)l' and sni##ed her )a' int! the bedr!!, a little surprised, . ia"ine, that
thin"s )ere n!t turnin" !ut as she planned( $he ust ha%e had a 9ueer sensati!n !# l!sin" c!ntr!l
!%er e%ents( Here )as Bre"!r', a#ter all, actin" ri"ht !ut !# character( He )as neither the -eal!us
husband n!r the understandin" d!estic pal(What )as he*
$he chan"ed int! ' &i!n! )ith the parr!ts !n it and returned t! #ind e sittin" in #r!nt !#
the #ire, deep in Bibb!n( . had ta&en the !pp!rtunit' !# puttin" !n ' s&ullcap( That, at an' rate,
"a%e e a superi!r !nastic ien )hich al)a's )!rried her a little2 and )hene%er ner%!usness
!%er a d!estic !r #!rei"n crisis sei;ed e, . iediatel' d!nned, as the' sa', ' little s&ullcap( .t
"a%e e a s!rt !# #anc'8dress c!n#idence in 'sel#,
+Well,+ . sa's t! her . sa's )ith heart' !nastic e6uberance, +'!u/re read', then*+
+Bre"!r',+ she said suddenl', +it )!uldn/t be #air !# e( .t )!uldn/t be pla'in" the "ae(+
. p!!h8p!!hed this %i"!r!usl'( +Fair, ' dear Brace, )hat are '!u tal&in" ab!ut*+ Bettin"
up . t!!& her ar in !rder t! call her blu## !nce and #!r all( . #elt sic&( We )al&ed sl!)l' t! the
#r!nt d!!r !# the #lat t!"ether( $he )as pu;;led b' n!):and a little a#raid( Her ars )ere c!ld
under the "arish slee%es !# ' &i!n!( $he hun" bac& sli"htl', h!pin" . )!uld pre%ent her #r!
"!in" at the last !ent( Reall', she be"an t! reali;e that she didn/t )ant t! "! !ne little bit b'
n!)( 4t the d!!r . released her ar and said> +5uietl', n!)( 3!n/t let 1!r"an !r =harles see '!u,
!r )ell ha%e ru!rs( B!!d ni"ht(+ . pushed her "entl' !ut, shut the d!!r !n her, and s)itched !##
the li"ht( Outside the c!l!red panel !# "lass . c!uld see her still standin", starin" in at e, pu;;led,
un)illin" t! "!( Then, hu""in" her c!ld hands in her arpits, she turned and %anished(
B!ne7 F!r a sec!nd . )as s! surprised that . c!uld hardl' belie%e it( $he had actuall' "!ne(
4nd in' &i!n!, t!!:the #inal cruel t!uch7 Then . )as in such a sudden panic and ra"e that .
c!uld ha%e d!ne an'thin"( The naes . called her7 Enueratin" all th!se sterlin" 9ualities in
'sel# that she had spat up!n b' this !utra"e!us act, . returned t! the dra)in" r!! and p!ured
'sel# !ut a sti## brand'( $!e!ne ust be ade t! pa' #!r all this7 $!e!ne ust pa'7 O(K( . sat
d!)n t! the pian! and be"an t! urder Beeth!%en(
That ni"ht Tar9uin called( He had been sittin" in the l!un"e readin" the=riteri!n and
)aitin" #!r =lare t! "et t! bed sa#el'( He )anted t! &n!) )h' the' )ere s! late( Had the' "!t bac&
'et* . t!ld hi bitterl', +N!(+ F!r a sec!nd . )as pr!#!undl' sh'2 and then, rall'in", . t!ld hi,
+Aes,+ )ith details( .t )as his turn t! be pr!#!undl' sh'( His distress acc!unted #!r a decanter !#
brand'( $! ab-ect he )as, s! iserable and h!peless, that . al!st be"an t! bless the e%ent )hich
)as the cause !# it all(
+.t/s n!t that ./ -eal!us,+ he said in !ne !# his rablin" attepts t! e6cuse hisel#( +.t isn/t
that at all, as '!u &n!)( 3ait, ./ n!t a "reen"r!cer( ./%e read <etr!nius and . a"ree )ith e%er'
)!rd( One ust be #ree, d!n/t '!u thin&* Aes, ./ll ta&e a sall !ne( N!8WO47 3!n/t #ill it up li&e
that( Where )as .* Aes, #reed!( . d!n/t "rud"e hi l!%e, Bre"!r'( ./ as !dern as '!u are( .
ean )e/re n!t "reen"r!cers, are )e* We/%e read <etr!nius and )e a"ree )ith e%er' )!rd( He
ust be #ree( .t/s his spiritual l!%e . )ant( Tr' and understand, Bre"!r', tr' and understand( A!u
are s! sel#8c!ntained, '!u d!n/t #eel these thin"s( ./ !re 'stical( Tr' and ia"ine '
l!neliness( $ince 1!ther/s death ./%e needed t! be l!!&ed a#ter( ./%e needed care( . )ant t! be
spirituall' cherished, that/s it( $pirituall' cherished(.# !nl' that bl!!d' little "i"!l! )!uld c!n#ide in
e ( ( (+
?Thin& !# .!n a!n" the deep8)ater statuar', the h!tels !# the Bree& )aters, in the latitude
!# 'th, dabbled b' the delicate n!ses !# #ishes(@ . sa' t! 'sel#, . d! n!t care( . d! n!t care( ,et
the liners "! n!sin" s!uth)ard, cuttin" her in slices( +O B!d, hear ' pra'er,+ sa's Tar9uin in
pri%ate( +O ,!rd, hear ' despair( O ,!rd ( ( (+ He %!its "reen li&e a h!rse( The pian! is pla'in"(
The b!!&s )in& !n the )all( .!n is a %ase )ith an' dancers( The 'th precipitated in il&' chal&
at the b!tt! !# a bea&er( This is the is!lati!n !# hel!c&( .!n7 .!n7 . a l!sin" the thread( ( ( (
The rest '!u &n!)(Here Bre"!r' ends(
$had!)s in in&( The h!tel )ith its blue shad!)s in sn!)( The c!n%alescent blue !# phthisis(
Br!ther, ./ll be that stran"e c!p!sed #ell!)( .n the dar&ness the' han" !ut 0apanese lanterns #!r
the #esti%als( .n the pande!niu !# the ballr!! the buntin" slidin" the #l!!r in a l!n" s)!!n !#
c!l!r( 4nti9ues "'ratin" #!re%er, pictured b' the irr!rs in their "ilt scr!lls( The -a;; band
plu""in" a)a' in the din2 and in the barra"e !# drun&enness !ur hearts tic&in" !%er, s9uashed up!n
each !ther/s in pain( 3ar&ness cut and blanched b' the treblin" sp!tli"hts, see&in" the )inners(
A!u )ith the sil%er !uth and de%il/s e'eteeth . c!uld ri%e2 press ' ar int! the arch !# the
bac&b!ne until the lean breastless b!d' tha)ed and elted, p!urin" !%er e in a )a%e, li&e li"hted
!il !n )ater( . l!cate this ni"ht dil' as the !ne )here ,!b! sat !ut in the rain' "ardens, under a
striped a)nin", a&in" 1iss Venable )eep( On)ard( On)ard(
.t is s! silent here at ni"ht( This t!b !# as!nr' hes us in, dri%es us in !n !ursel%es(
Oursel%es7 . a "ettin" a little li&e Bre"!r', r!llin" the hea%' chainsh!t !# the e"! ab!ut )ith hi,
pris!ner( Here in these etal pr!%inces, )e are li&e dead cats bric&ed in the Wall !# =hina( The
)inds turn aside #r! us in the dead land, the barren latitudes( . tell '!u the tras pl!) their
#urr!)s e%er' da', but n!thin" sprin"s #r! the( The blind en )al& t)! b' t)! at =at#!rd(
O%erhead in the dar&ness the n!iseless rain is shinin" d!)n !%er the c!unties( The
pa%eents are tha)in" bac& t! blac& asphalt( .n this r!! the adness has set in, "!adin" ,!b! t!
#inish the chart( 3elicate, the dar& "i"!l! =lare treads the ush' street, cl!a&ed and hatted, t! a
dancin" en"a"eent( The hea%' si"nature !# the ist "la;es the dub d!es !# the =r'stal <alace>
the #inal assured %ul"ar ar& !# Rus&in/s )!rld !n hist!r'( .n <eru the' hurr' t! earl' ass( The
streets are ba&ed( The peasants stand )ith their lice and s!res and al!nds in the church d!!r)a's(
4nd his "irl:ah7 his h!t little ,atin )!rld !# little blac& en( .# #!r a sec!nd he c!uld reach her
acr!ss the chart, acr!ss the b!ttles !# in&, acr!ss the c!c&at!! !n his pencil8b!6 ci"arettes,
sh!p"irls, #r!st, )ind, tra lines, En"land:i# he c!uld !nl' sei;e her and escape ( ( (
Blac& ,atin Wh!re7 We, sentiental, send !ur desires t! '!u acr!ss the sea li&e an'
#urlin" "ulls( But a#ter 3!%er ia"inati!n #ails( The "ulls )a%er, treble, #all, are sp!n"ed !ut b'
the ists( ( ( (
.n the sal!!n bar, =!nnie, the bre)er/s )id!), a)aits =lare( ?One !# her #rilled "arters
han"s !%er ,!b!/s bed:a bra%el' hu!r!us present #r! !ne libertine t! an!ther(@
=!nnie p!ssesses thi"hs li&e il& churns( Her !uth is an !ld c!b #ull !# an' sa)n8!##
teeth( Her lau"hter sets the #r!th dancin" in her ustache( 3ancin" )ith =lare she s)eats li&e a
sentiental seal under the arpits, pants, !ans, a little sentiental )hen the )!rd l!%e arri%es in
the tunes( O##er her a beer and she )ill sit up and bar& li&e a sea li!n( A!u c!uld balance a "lass !n
her n!se as she sits there ilitaril', her behind !%erlappin" the s)i%el st!!l( $he sits d!)n !n her
%ul%a( Watch her n!)( $!( The circular head !# the bar st!!l is applied t! her b!tt!, penetrates the
s!#t s)athes !# blubber, disappears( .n#inite subterranean shu##lin"( One ia"ines the )ar endless
penetrati!n !# the padded st!!l in her %iscera( +0esus, she/s )ell sprun",+ sa's <ere;( Then the
sprin"s ti"hten( Bi""lin", she is sittin" up there !n her !)n nec&( Her e'ebr!)s per#!r "i"antic
arcs acr!ss the ni"ht( $he is "a' ha ha( The tan& is #ull !# ha ha( $he l!%es the )ar herded sell
!# ales in the sal!!n, )et !%erc!ats and )his&ers, rich sell !# stea and undercl!thes and
arpits( $he has been arried t)ice( Barr!! "allantries( +Oh,d! /a%e an!ther "lass !# beer, iss(+
4nd the shrill dra#ts !# piss #r! the urinal )hich c!es in at the s)in" d!!rs( 1en, en, en:
h!) she l!%es the )ar sell !# herded ales7 $he c!uld ta&e a an in each ar and sl!bber !n
hi )ith that )et !uth !# hers( $he c!uld slip a thic& #in"er in their #lies and tic&le the( But
=lare* He e6cites that super#icial side !# her )hich )ants R!ance( Oh7 the slee& lateral )a%es !#
his hair( Oh7 the delicate ,e%antine anners ?h!) pain#ull' ac9uired b' p!st and stud'@( =lare
suc&s little purple cach!us that his breath, )hen he bl!)s it !n her, a' be n!thin" less than r!'al
h!ne'de)( 4ll the per#ues !# 4rabia cann!t rinse the "in #r! it, h!)e%er( He dances "ra%el'
)ith her, leanin" !n her )hi;;in" e6uberant tits )ith a s!rt !# l!c!!ti%e paral'sis( Thupin", her
"reat thi"hs pr!pel the( Vast e##!rt, as i# the' )ere dancin" under )ater> spurnin" the #l!!r, the
)alls, the band, the r!tatin" "lass d!e )hich shi%ers splinters !# prisatic li"ht acr!ss the
dancers( Bin brin"s !ut the puss' in her( BinK and =lare/s h!arse cr!!nin"( He &n!)s the )!rds t!
all the tunes( His hand is pal !ut)ard !n her spine, a "enteel Ed)ardianis(
=!nnie/s e'es are "la;ed( F!r the last h!ur !r s! she has been diinishin", bec!e steadil'
!re diinuti%e and puss'cat( .n the inter%al, d!)nin" her beer, she has bec!e a child !# t)el%e
a"ain( +Hair d!)n t! here,+ she 'elps, stri&in" her arse, +but e !ther t!!& it all !##( The dirt' !ld
s!)(+ 3ancin" a"ain, her intiacies are !utra"e!us:e%en here( $he has shrun& up !n his breast
li&e a )ee "irl n!), li&e a bird nestlin" !n his nec&tie( $he pee&s up at hi )ith a pantin" sile,
her little lasci%i!us bud !# lips pursed up( $he can #eel it stirrin" d!)n there, li&e a li%e thin"( The
ti"ht r!d he has in his tr!users n!)( $he is diinishin", eltin" d!)n, tha)in"( 4h7 she is such a
thupin", s)!llen, #!ur8teen8st!ne,)een' little thin"7
.n the l!bb' she puts her hand !n hi( +A!u/%e "!t it,+ she sa's ner%!usl', as i# he i"ht be
pla'in" a tric& !n her( There i"ht be n!thin" in there( +A!u/%e "!t it, ha%en/t '!u, duc&'* O! .
can/t )ait(+
4#ter)ard he )ill ha%e t! ta&e her h!e and undress her, la'er b' la'er( $he )ill lie, li&e
the .ndian Ocean )aitin" #!r hi:!ne %ast anticipatin" "rin, ab!%e and bel!)7
$had!)s in in&, and the stran"e c!p!sure !# s'llables( The 9uilt lies hea%ier !n ' b!nes
than an' si68#!!t earth( . a li%in" !ut h!urs )hich n! chr!n!l!"' all!)s #!r( Which n! cl!c&
ar&s( .# . sa' . l!%e '!u . a usin" an idi! t!! s!iled t! e6press this catacl's !# ner%es, this
cataract !# )hite #lesh and "ristle )hich !pen ne) e'es inside e( . a !pened suddenl' li&e the
%al%e !# a #l!)er, stic&', priapic> the sn!)dr!p !r the ane!ne brushin" the )ar #lan&s !#
,esb!s( 4 dae!nic pans' !penin" t! the sun, sti#led in its !)n p!llen( The delicate sh!!ts are
"r!)in" #r! ' thr!at( Fr! the e69uisite p!res !# the ebrane the s!#t %a"ina !# the r!se, )ith
the t!rped! han"in" in it( The #urred lispin" t!rped! !# the bee( O B!d(
.t is ab!%e all the silence )hich is rear&able( The last train t! the )!rld/s end has "!ne(
The last bus s&irts =r!'d!n !r <en"e:)hat atter* .n the tra terinus the deserted tras lie,
their ad%ertiseents 9uenched in the s!&' "l!!( =!rralled li&e h!rses the' a)ait the il&8can
!rnin"( ,!chia( Ra"s !# bl!)n paper )rithe a!n" the sn!)( The dirt' s&elet!ns !# the da'/s
ne)s( There is n!t e%en a pr!stitute t! bri"hten the ca%ern!us r!ads( Hilda has "!ne( 4 real !ld8
tier, the !nl' !ne( 1arried a c!ercial tra%eler t! "i%e the #etus a nae and status( $tatus7
E6tra!rdinar' h!) sensiti%e she can be( 4las, p!!r Hilda( 4 ra%en !# e6cellent -est, H!rati!( The
)a' she breathed beer and !ni!ns !n !ne> the "reat chees' )hi##s !# dap that ble) a!n" her
cl!thes7 4s #!r the )retched #etus, i# it c!uld ha%e sp!&en thr!u"h its "ills it )!uld pr!babl' ha%e
dealt as curtl' )ith its ancestr' as Bre"!r'( +1' parenta"e is $c!tch, i# '!u ust &n!)( Well,
n!rthern( . a n!t sure, reall'( . a sure !# s! little( 4t an' rate' s!ul )ears tartan7+
Hilda, at an' rate, s)a""erin" up and d!)n the bed in her pin& c!tt!n &ilt:Hilda, )ith the
"reat han"in" sp!rran !# red hair !%er her pel%is7 4 ra%en !# e6cellent -est7 <ere; )!uld ta&e
hands#ul !# this ru#us pelt up in !ne hand and bl!) !n it pla'#ull'( +What ha%e )e here, Hilda*
Feathers, ' l!%e*+ Hilda )ith the "reat %!ice li&e a bass %i!l, raspin" !ut c!and and
insinuati!n( Her "as8lit bed is a parade "r!und, a barrac& s9uare2 her %!ice is all hist!r' r!lled and
b!!ed and rapped !ut in !ne/s ears(
,i&e a "aunt rat she li%ed bet)een the pub and the t!bacc!nist( .n the sn!) she scuttled
acr!ss the r!ad spla'#!!ted, duc&in" under the li"hts !# sn!rin" cars, t! bu' hersel# a pac&et !#
#a"s( Hilda, the #a" end !# the sentiental dreas . cherish7 The e!r' !# her is a s!rt !#
scari#icati!n, li&e )!unds the ab!ri"ines &eep !pen !n their b!dies, rubbin" irritants int! the,
re!penin" the until the resultin" !rnaent is s!ethin" t! a&e the )h!le tribe en%i!us(
Hilda a8dec!ratin" Ne)castle( . ia"ine %a"uel' d!c&s( Hilda a!n" the li"hts and tar and
#eather sail!r b!'s> the )h!le #air'land !# breathin" steeples( F!rsa&en, a "aunt rat b' the )ater(
4ll ni"ht the lic& and splash !# in&' sil&( <ill!)ed !n the #l!!d/s br!ad bac&, the elastic steeples
inhale and e6hale their pan!raa( 1!rnin"( The child iscarried, and sh!rtl' a#ter the le"endar'
husband died( <ere;, her !nl' real #riend, has "!t a letter #r! her, inc!herent, blarin", tear8stained(
4 p!e !n %i!let paper )ith an anch!r #!r a )aterar&( We still read it al!ud )hen )e )ant a
"!!d h'sterical lau"h( Hilda, and her rich pithecanthr!p!id c!nt!rti!ns7 Here, under )hite ceilin",
plannin" an e9uipent !# )!rds t! snare these h!urs )hich are s! !b%i!usl' secure #r! the
dra"nets !# lan"ua"e> l'in" here, )hat s!rt !# ele"' can !ne c!p!se #!r Hilda, #!r =!nnie, #!r the
)h!le rabble !# cineatic #aces )h!se hist!r' is the blac& b!!&* $hall )e pe!ple a catac!b )ith
their p!rtraits* The last tra has "!ne( The ep!ch #r! )hich this chr!nicle is ade #lesh, )hen .
thin& !# it, is an e6pl!si!n( 1' l!%el' pe!ple li&e s! an' #ra"ents !# an e6pl!si!n alread' in
#li"ht:Hilda a!n" the, #l'in" li&e a hea%' b!b, n!rth)ard t! Ne)castle( 1adae 4b!ut died
in 19H9 !# uterine cancer( ., said the sparr!), )ith ' b!) and arr!)( Tar9uin died 9uietl' )hile
he )as p!urin" hisel# a cup !# tea2 and sh!)ed up #!r dinner )ith!ut a trace !# his death !n his
#ace( $crase, the "!lden8haired s!n !# a cash re"ister, hisel# hard and ti"ht as a #ist#ul !# bl!nd
cash, )as eptied !ut !# the autun s&' t! &eep c!pan' )ith .carus( .n the sn!) there is a hail
and #are)ell #!r <ere;, #!r ,!b!, #!r =haberlain( ( ( (
4 . the an"el )ith shinin" )rists scrapin" !ut their icr!sc!pic beauties in B!d/s in&*
The shirted cherubin7 $ee, . ta&e a !uth#ul !# in& and bl!) it !ut in an' c!l!rs at the s&'( Fr!
that #ra"ile c!lun #all !ne !r t)! #i"ures:these ' shinin" darlin"s7
On that p!rti!n !# tie that is a $aturda' printed !n paper, !%er a 9u!tati!n #r! Benesis, .
"! and in#lict 'sel# !n the =haberlains( .n his #lat !ne c!uld sit #!r centuries )ith!ut an'!ne
&n!)in" '!u )ere there(
=haberlain hisel# sits in the archair )ith a li"hted pipe in his !uth and tunes up his
little u&ulele( Ver' s!#tl' and n!stal"icall' he sin"s the #!ll!)in" ditt', in !ne !# its nuberless
h!eade %ariati!ns(
3inah7
Has a l!%el' %a"inal
Wh', it/s li&e an !cean liner,
4nd ' 3inah/s &een !n e(
V!de! d! d! etc(
3inah is his )i#e( $he sa's, +$t!p that(+ He st!ps it( $he sa's, +1a&e up the #ire(+ He a&es
it up( $he sa's, +Be"in t!astin" the u##ins !r )e/ll ne%er ha%e tea(+ He rests the t!astin" #!r&
ne"li"entl' !n the #ender, and returns t! his art( Ver' s!#tl' he be"ins, in a 9ueer %!ice, #ull !# pipe
and n!stal"ia>
3inah7
=an '!u sh!) e s!ethin" #iner,
Than the p!rtable %a"ina,
Which ' 3inah &eeps #!r e*
V!de! d! d! etc(
4 predilu%ial )!rld in )hich . can sit at rest and )atch the )h!le pa"eant pass( The
shad!)s in in&, the chart, the "reen diar', the atheatical c!nes !# sn!) t!)erin" up t! hea%en,
the desire, the &in"cups !penin" bet)een ' t!es( . )ish the suer )!uld c!e( The )inter !#
' disc!ntent pr!l!n"s itsel# int! in#inities !# b!red!, and this !ent is the !nl' radiant instant
rec!rded !n the sp!!ls !# tie( Here, in the pipe s!&e and )!rn b!!&s )ith n!thin" but the "reat
)ar pers!nalit' !# the #ire in the r!!( The u##ins #esterin" !n the pr!n"s, and the li!nhearted
c!als( Outside !n the steain" la)ns $t( Francis is pic&in" the lice #r! the sparr!)s( .t is all "!ne,
. a sa'in" t! 'sel#2 it cann!t last( $he has "!ne a)a' int! the c!untr' !# the #r!;en la&es and the
sti##ened hed"es( Hilda )r!te> +. d!n/t see )hat . d!ne #!r B!d t! treat e this )a'( <erhaps
because . been a )ic&ed )!an( When the child )as se%en !nth !n . #elt in ' b!nes that
s!ethin" i"ht happen( N!) B!d/s t!rn it pr!perl' #!r ' sins(+
4nd the !ther letter )hich . carr' ab!ut )ith e sti##l', li&e a )ithered lib> +.t has been
sn!)in" and . a l!nel'( . )ish . c!uld cut '!u !## and carr' '!u )ith e )here%er . "!, inside
e( . c!uld be )ar( . lie in bed and ia"ine it(+
=haberlain reads the sin"le pa"e, pu##in" at his pipe( He "i%es it bac& )ith!ut c!ent(
,ater !n in the e%enin" he sa's> +Other pe!ple/s l!%e is a little dis"ustin", )h' is it*+
Or there is Tar9uin, in the character !# the "reat artist, tracin" his hist!r' in literar'
cadences )hich are n!t bad, c!nsiderin" e%er'thin"( 4rt is a disease, he is al)a's sa'in"(
1assa"in" his shinin" craniu he )ill read str!phe !ut !# his "reat s'ph!nic Bible t! <eters(
Thus>
+Where shall . trace th!se #irst parents !# ine )h! "enerated all hist!r' b' the #irst #ault'
c!ntact !# sper and !%u* Where the #ault' placenta, the #irst de%iati!n !# the #etus let d!)n
delicatel' !n its c!rd t! r!c& in the ani!tic #luid* H!) shall the' be celebrated* Where shall )e
see the #irst icr!sc!pic #la) in #uncti!n )hich "a%e us the )!rld !# #ire, !# st!ne, !# !6en, !#
nubers, !#ten!rs:and !# "!ds* <erhaps . )as s)un" bet)een the l!ins !# a tr!"l!d'te, natural as
#ruit th!u"h #ault', in the )!b !# blac&ness s9uee;ed2 ' head !ut !# shape, ' cretin/s e'es
pressed !ut under s)eet sic&l' )hite lids li&e th!se !# a #ish2 ' libs sh!%ed !ut and shinb!nes
bandied( . a sure ' brain )as -ubled in its sac&, teased b' b!ne pressure, until . lau"hed,
l!llin" ' head bac&, hea%', hea%', t! pr!test that the sun )as ni"ht8blac&( ( ( (+
Ten 'ears/ hard p!lishin" ha%e "!ne t! shapin" this !pus( <!lishin" !# pr!se, !# spectacles,
!# the "reat bald craniu( He sits, li&e a p!l'p, and )aits #!r applause( 4 little scared that there )ill
be n!ne( 4#ter all, ten 'ears ( ( ( Needless t! sa', this is the !nl' piece !# the s'ph!nic Bible
e6tant( He tries t! pretend that there is !re !# it, but there is n!t( +.t/s n!t in its #inal #!r,+ he )ill
sa' prettil' i# '!u as&( But !ne e6ainati!n !# his n!teb!!&s )hen he )as !ut !ne da' c!n%inced
e that this "reat artist ne%er #inishes an'thin"( E%en the diar' has its !## !ents( On 0anuar' the
3rd, Lth, and 19th !ccurs the sublie th!u"ht, +N!thin" !# n!te(+
Well, e%en . "et hard up #!r aterial at ties( That is )hat brin"s e t! the sn!)( .t has
been sn!)in" a"ain( 4"ain7 .t has ne%er st!pped( When . )as sall there )as a #u"iti%e suer at
the seaside )ith Dncle B!b, and Wend'( Wend' n!), the ru""ed little apple tree, )ith her s!#t
bar&, her s!lid &n!tted little stance, the hea%' p!ised apples inside the "reen shirt( Wend' li&e a
sh!rt sharp bite int! a s!ur apple( <ippin8bri"ht #ace and lips )ith the spittle shinin" !n the
#!re%er( H!ldin" her d!)n in the c!rn )hile the 'ell!) c!rn shu##led !%er her head and #ell in her
e'es( When . a l'in" t!uchin" the s!#t c!rn#ield )ith ' hand . a apt t! )a&e up )ith an apple
bet)een ' teeth( Wend'7
But this is a sn!)scape in indi"!, nubian, c!balt, ash Wednesda', "!thic, Fiue( . a
)al&in" in the dar& streets )ith '!ur letter in ' hand( 4ll that is c!in" #r! e is a s!rt !# sa"a
in ans)er t! it( . can #eel it c!in" #r! ' b!d'( . a s! unhapp' that . )!uld li&e t! spend '
reainin" !ne' !n a )h!re:i# there )ere a )h!re t! be #!und( 4las, p!!r Hilda(
.t is in this area !# the ni"ht that . c!e up!n 1!r"an in the dar& street( There is bl!!d !n
his )aistc!at, his hands( 4 stran"e a"itati!n in his e'es( +There/s been an accident,+ he sa's, lic&in"
the sn!) #r! his chin( +4t the stati!n(+ $n!) settled !n his e'ebr!)s, ears, l'in" in little dri#ts
a"ainst his c!llar( +F!r =hristsa&e(+ He bec&!ns e int! a sh!p d!!r)a'( .t happened t!ni"ht as he
reached the stati!n t! eet B)en( 4 sudden r!ar and a pu## !# blac& s!&e( Terri#ied he )as d!)n
there !n the line, sca%en"in" a!n" the br!&en carria"es be#!re he &ne) )hat he )as d!in"( +$he/s
O(K(, sir( 1issed the train( But )hat a ess, '!u ne%er seen such a ess(+ His hands are a"itatin"
thesel%es ab!ut a pac&et !# ci"arettes( One carria"e c!pped it #air and s9uare( Fi%e pe!ple literall'
cut t! bits( The d!ct!r )as sic&( 4rs, entrails, and etceteras l'in" ab!ut in the c!rrid!r( The d!ct!r
)as '!un"( His "reat b!d' is restless, turnin" this )a' and that( He d!es n!t "! bac& t! the h!tel at
!nce( He )ants t! reinisce a bit ab!ut the )ar and the esses he has seen( +./%e been cl!se t! it
an' ties, sir( But ne%er sh!!& e li&e this(+ He is 9uite %!luble( +. th!u"ht !#B)en( B' 0esus
=hrist runnin" d!)n the stairs(+ There is bl!!d !n his hands( He helped the "ather up the l!a%es
and #ishes, the pieces !# eat, and put the int! sac&s( We be"in t! )al& as he tells e this( Then,
)al&in" d!)n the hu"e c!rrid!rs h!e)ard he li#ts his head int! the )hite sh!)ers )hich #ill the
eni"atic space bet)een us and the !!n, and sa's, in an a"!n' !# surprise>
+<ieces !# eat, sir( The' )as n!thin" but pieces !# eat le#t( /Ot and steain", as true as
./ )al&in" here(+
.# it is n!t t!! late . shall "! up t! Tar9uin/s r!! #!r a spell !# utual c!nd!lence and
iser'( Or he )ill be sittin" there at his little pian! curi!usl' upri"ht and ilitar'( .t is as i# the
usic )ere )!r&in" hi, n!t he the usic( ,i&e a an su##erin" an electric sh!c& he sits there and
)atches his !)n bi" hands act( His techni9ue is supp!sed t! be #la)less but satanicall' hard?%ide
Bre"!r'@( He l!%es the r!antics, d)ells !n their l!n" sn!t8curdlin" el!dies )ith a resi"ned
path!s han"in" in his bi" e'es( E!ti!n !nl' sees t! reach hi )ith di##icult', b' !s!sis( That
is )h' his taste is s! e!ti!nal( Fr! the terri#ic shi%ers and !r"ass !# the usic he dra)s s!e
in#initel' sall pri%ate thrill( The rest p!urs !%er hi( Wa"ner, n!), that is his c!#!rt( .n #l!c&s
and sh!als the hea%' %!lues p!ur d!)n !%er hi, #illin" the r!!2 he sits under a )ater#all !#
usic, an ic' d!uche( ,i&e a #l!)er his hea%' head #l!ats !n the sur#ace( +Wa"ner,+ he sa's
breathless, standin" up )ith the usic runnin" !## hi, &nuc&lin" his e'es( +Wa"ner7+ 4nd
silin", +W!nder#ul,+ pantin" hard #r! the c!ldness !# the sh!)er(
On such e%enin"s . a t!! pre!ccupied t! applaud the aestr!, s!, recallin" that literature
is ' ain interest, he )ill utter a #e) lines !# the diar' al!ud, n!t l!!&in" at e, li&e an
incantati!n( . )ill as&> +What is that*+ . &n!) 9uite )ell )hat it is( +3! '!u li&e it*+ he )ill sa'
archl'( +Aes( What is it*+
Then )e )ill ha%e an interestin" little sessi!n !# readin" al!ud( 4 p!st8!rte !n the
ps'che, that delicate butter#l' )hich li%es behind the pale )alls !# his abd!en( Or he )ill read e
the #a!us last chapter !# his iense ?un)ritten@ )!r& !n Bach, )hich ends )ith the terri#ic
epi"ra> +.t reained #!rBach, t! a&e atheatics huane7+ He ust reall' )rite the !ther
chapters !ne da' s!!n, he sa's editati%el', d!n/t . thin&* O# c!urse . d!( . a !bli"ed t!
c!ntribute s!e #!r !# s!ciabilit' t! the sessi!n, because a#ter all, it is his r!!( . cann!t #ace '
!)n( . cann!t #ace the dead b!!&s, the stale sheets !# p!es, badl' t'ped, the littered dra)ers( The
bed, ' si68#!!t teneent, the ceilin" )here the #antasies han" li&e bats, and s9uea& li&e a illi!n
slate pencils( .# ,!b! )ill c!e #!r a )al& . a "rate#ul, )ith a real huilit' #!r his c!pan'( . d!
n!t spea& uch, but it is "!!d t! ha%e a c!pani!n t! )al& beside(
On these c!ld ni"hts ,!b! is 9uite h'sterical ab!ut <eru, )aitin" #!r hi !ut there be'!nd
the !cean( He tells e !# the streets )ith the br!thels, )arl' li"hted, the radi!s "!in", the "uitars>
the innuerable d!!rs )ith their e'e #ents hun"r' )ith blac& e'es( The dar& en cr!ssin" the
streets li&e ants t! their assi"nati!ns( +.t is s! eas',+ he sa's !urn#ull', +s! eas'(+ =!pared )ith
this arctic )!rld he )ars his hands at ,ia( ( ( ( 4h, the Riac t)istin" under the brid"es, the
sha)ls, the parr!ts ?dan th!se parr!ts7@, the #ail' #riends, s! an' bl!!dless hidal"!s> the )h!le
achine !# traditi!nal #ail' li#e turnin" !%er, #aultless( There )as a "irl #riend !# the #ail' )h!
used t! "! d!)n t! the seaside )ith hi( H!t sand2 his #in"ers easin" !ut the crea' ch!rds #r!
the "uitar, hea%' as il& )ith r!ance( $he )as s! ardent, s! #ull !# resp!nse that her &isses
sc!rched a an8ade hi )ri""le li&e a sand)!r( He stands under the l!!p' t!)er !# the
=hristas tree in a )ind!) t! tell e this( Behind us the e%en !re l!!p' t!)er !# the <alace
s)eatin" a ran& tha) #r! its illi!n enstru!us b!ils( His #ace is trans#i"ured b' the e!r' !#
her )arth( Tears in his e'es( +$he )as s! h!t,+ he sa's suddenl', and sh!!ts !ut his hand t! '
)rists, as i# his !)n )arth !# #eelin" c!uld "i%e e an idea !# hers ( ( ( +$! h!t(+ . al)a's
reeber hi li&e that> standin" in his iaculate cl!thes under a leanin" t!)er, )hile behind the
street s)irled a)a' its dri#ts !# sn!) and dri%en laps in #!a and eptiness( We are deserted in
an !cean !# li"hts( His #ace is %arnished under the bri !# his hat, his e'es superb( +=!e )ith
e,+ he sa's ipulsi%el'( +,et us run a)a' int! the sun, dear b!', int! the sun, ' #riend(+ He
#lin"s his head bac& as i# searchin" #!r ne) planets, ne) c!nstellati!ns( Trans#i"ured( His )al&
lilts( Then, the sn!) be"ins t! #all, insidi!us )hite s!!t, and his elati!n is 9uenched( His #ace s!urs(
The el!d' has "!ne !ut !# his #!!tsteps( $lee&, the astr!n!ical anna p!)ders !ur e'ebr!)s(
The )ind has dri%en a nail thr!u"h ' teples( . a sti#lin"( The sl!), cuulati%e c!ncussi!n !# a
)!rld !# #r!st cr!)din" up!n !ur )!rld( We "et int! step h!e)ard( ,i"hts burn dil' behind
shutters, )ith!ut #esti%it'( Wa6 li"hts, #l!atin" in b!)ls !# childish )ater, "uardin" the dead #aces
!# sleepin" in#ants( The sn!) h!)ls and #lutes a!n" the iense c!ncrete c!rrid!rs, s!therin"
%!liti!n, desire( 4 train sc!uts the utter!st !utp!sts !# the stars, tracin" an in%isible abit( Venus
and Dranus up there, )in&in" li&e li"hth!uses acr!ss the )hite acres( The spiral nebulae spreadin"
)ider and )ider, li&e pellets #r! a celestial sh!t"un( The earth under us, crea&in" and ancient, li&e
a r!tten apple in the teeth !# an urchin( Wend'7 4 r!tten "reen apple, deca'in" t! the br!)n !# a
pierced !lar under the sn!)( Wend', )ith the hea%' apples in her "reen shirt, the #ir )ar
bullets !# breasts in a sn!)st!r !# reas!n, &illin" e( A!u )ill understand, l'in" !ut there a!n"
the ir!ned8!ut la&es and #ields, '!u )ill understand this panic !# separati!n that is hardenin" '
arteries )ith tears(
.n%isible behind this aura, )hich stri&es !ur heads li&e a cl!)n/s bat!n !# #eathers, tr'in" t!
#ell us, the red "iants and the )hite d)ar#s are at pla'( Balactic ibecilit'( .t is a seas!n !# the
spirit in )hich the idea e%en l!ses its eanin", l!ses the bri"ht distin"uishin" ed"e, and #alls bac&
int! its !ri"inal t'pe, sensati!n( W!rds are n! "!!d( .# '!u )ere t! die, #!r instance, it )!uld ean
sn!)( <alpable, luin!us, a shad!) in in&( 4nd '!ur d'in" t!! #atal t! reach e )hen the )ind is
up a!n" the trees and there is lau"hter inside the dar& h!uses( When the teleph!ne rin"s . sa' t!
'sel#> death( But it eans n!thin"( ,i&e a h!t ir!n passed !%er a tablecl!th:the )hite #abric !#
'!ur #ace ir!ned suddenl' int! insensibilit'( . ch!!se this )!rd rather than an' !ther, because in the
past it had the !st p!)er !%er e( N!) the idea itsel# is starched and sti##ened bac& int! a n!thin"
!# )hite( The elastic sn!)scape and this at!sphere )hich )e breathe int! !ur lun"s li&e a rust'
sa), is all( .s all( .s all (((
These abstracti!ns cr!ssin" and cr!ssin" the drun&en ind2 and )e !n a planet, bu;;in" in
space acr!ss the alphabetical stars> the crea& !# the earth curlin" a)a' int! the ni"ht li&e a 9u!it,
li&e the crea& !# cable and spar !n a ship2 and !nl' this ush' carpet !n )hich t! tread !ut !ur
#!!tsteps t!)ard the #inal )eddin" )ith l!neliness(
3!es the endless iterati!n !# l!neliness tire '!u* .t is the !ne c!nstant in !ur li%es( E%en
)hen the ni"ht n!) is sp!tted )ith shad!)s )h!se dapple sees t! present a "raph !# this
e!ti!n( Oh, behind it, . &n!):s!eh!) behind it in a diensi!n )hich . cann!t #ath!, li#e still
tubles acr!ss the scenes sellin" !# pa"eantr', her!ic, )et )hite, blue "!iters, cl!)ns, s!pran!s,
#ire8eaters( ( ( ( But )e shall ne%er reach it(
This is )hat ust be &n!)n as a state !# )ar #!r ,!b!( W!an has at last bec!e the #!cus
#!r the hate and despair )hich dribbles a)a', da' in, da' !ut, li&e a clap> in the red p!stan
!rnin", in the a#tern!!ns !%er u##ins and p!st cards, in the dus& )ith the returnin"
sch!!lchildren:at ni"ht in his pri%ate lair )ith !nl' the !n!t!n' !# the "as #ire t! su""est
c!ntinuit' in a li#e )hich sees t! ha%e st!pped li&e a cheap cl!c&(
Hilda is ' !nl' an!d'ne a"ainst the )hite lepr!s' !# the #r!st( ,i&e the #!!l !# the tar!t,
the cra;' -!&er !# the pac&, . )ander thr!u"h the e%ents !# the )a'( The ibecile han"s !n the
erc' !# tie li&e a lil' !n the ri%er( . ha%e n! bein", strictl', e6cept )hen . enter that ust' little
r!!, #r!sted s!#tl' at ni"ht, )here Hilda, the "iant cauli#l!)er !# ' dreas, !%es ab!ut her
tas&s( Bet)een the artist ., and Hilda the pr!stitute, there is an iediate c!rresp!ndence( We
rec!"ni;e and respect each !ther, as pariahs d!2 )e l!%e each !ther, but )e d! n!t understand each
!ther( Ne%ertheless )e ha%e ade a truce( We share the scraps )hich li#e pushes up a!n" the
#l!tsa !n that bare beach )here th!se !ther beachc!bers li&e !ursel%es ra%en( This r!!, this
#!ur8p!ster bed is the $ar"ass! $ea, )ith the tides h!url' pushin" up the ept' cans !# ideas,
desire, hun"er )ith sharp ed"es, h!pes, destinies> cr!)ns, trupets, h'nals, all tan"led in the
)eeds )hich "r!pe ab!ut !ur b!dies in the l!n" ni"hts( N!thin" t! su""est t!!rr!) as a plausible
realit' e6cept a snatch !# idni"ht s!n" lea&in" #r! the bul"in" pini!ns !# a shutter( N!thin" t!
tell us )e )ill rise a"ain !n the third da'( That )e )ill be ade #lesh(
The sheets are dirt'( The )alls are dirt'( The s!#t bl!! !# "asli"ht )hispers the ites !#
the da'/s ne)s( 4 paper lies !n the bed( The l'in" e'e, tr'in" t! read it, sees the t'pe bl!)in" past
the "as #ire, !ut !# the )ind!), li&e a #ine sandst!r( Blac& si"nal !# the )!rld/s disease:the
)astin" disease that calls #!r !re and !re calaities, !re catastr!phes, t! scald the ner%es( The
)!rld/s tra"ed' is Tar9uin/s tra"ed'( He can #eel n!thin"( Hilda/s tra"ed' is that she can #eel t!!
uch( Her "reat c!)/s heart tha)s at the least thin"( 4n i"n!rant, blunderin" ,ucrece, she is raped
b' the #irst e!ti!n )hich ipacts !n her( What* The Tur&s are slau"hterin" the 4renian
children* O thep!re little thin"s( Her tears dribble int! dirt' hand&erchie#s, int! her b!dice, her
shi#t, her handba", int! the !ist t!rche8cul )hich han"s behind the la%at!r' d!!r( +A!u d!n/t #eel
n!thin",+ she sa's( +A!u d!n/t #eel #!r the p!re children, '!u little bastard(+ +But, Hilda,+ . sa',
+it happened 'ears a"!(+ +.t/s in the paper, isn/t it*+ she deands( +.# it/s in the e%enin" paper h!)
can it be !ld*+
$he has been readin" the #irst !# a series !# articles )hich rec!nstructs )ar hist!r'(
H!)e%er( . lie duti#ull' and tr' t! ia"ine the 4renian children( .p!ssible( =!r#u( Re#u"ees(
The .!nian curlin" al!n" the butt!c&s !# the island( 4renian ch!irb!'s a&in" b!!ts( The )!rds
ech! h!rribl'( .n the ni"ht she cann!t sleep( +./ thin&in/ !# all the p!re &iddies(+
Or Hilda li&e a "reat bee !%in" ab!ut in the 'ell!) "asli"ht, #iddlin" )ith her c!setics,
s9uintin" in the p!c&' irr!r( 4 s!#t cada%er!us p!llen bl!!s al!n" her chee&s, al!n" the craters
!# her #ace( E%er' line eans s!ethin"( This hea%' h!rse #ace is the Bible, the K!ran, in )hich .
can see all ' %ict!ries and de#eats epit!i;ed( The )h!le )!rld !# ' dreas is )ritten !%er b'
these lines and )rin&les(
. ha%e bec!e suddenl' s!#t and alleable inside, these da's( Hilda l!!s acr!ss li#e li&e
the ia"e !# !ne !# th!se incestu!us l!%es !n )hich !ne/s #ail' repulsi!ns are supp!sed t! be #ed(
. rel' !n her( . lie and let her )ait !n e, li&e an in%alid( . a c!nsued b' this )astin"
c!nsupti!n !# aternal l!%e( . )ant this sl!) c!n%alescent childh!!d t! be pr!l!n"ed #!re%er(
Hilda has created #!r e a shad!) !ut !# the sun )here . )ant t! rest(
The tie runs d!)nhill !n iced #eet t!)ard =hristas( 4 plun"e int! the crater !# tie
)hich is cha!s, !ri"inal dis!rder( This "reat bed is the ar& !# desire that dri#ts 9uietl' d!)n the l!n"
c!rrid!rs !# )ater, d!)n the p!c&ets !# dreas, thr!u"h the %eils and ists,)aitin" #!r the d!%e(
T!)ard =hristas, and . a sl!)l' bein" r!lled h!e)ard a"ain, t! the )!b( The c!re !# e is
b!und up li&e a #etus, a )ea& parcel t! be slun" a"ain bet)een the( l!ins !# ' parent( . a dri#tin"
d!)n a"ain int! the "reat atri6 !# l!%ers, the sunsp!t )here all e!ti!ns are li9ue#ied, blended,
all!'ed int! the !ne all8c!n9uerin" l!neliness( The pun"ent iser' that al!ne can a&e e #eel(
E%er'thin" else is tidied up, s)ept a)a':li&e th!se pieces !# steain" eat 1!r"an "athered in
sac&s( =upid/s l!a%es and #ishes( . ha%e n!thin" n!), n! e!ti!nal lu""a"e, e6cept this 9uiet
c!n%alescent )astin" disease, this dra)in" a)a' int! aternit'( . "i%e up, a utterl' sun& in death(
Hilda is the "enesis #r! )hich . shall be b!rn a"ain !n the third da'( .# . shut ' e'es the )h!le
)!rld is bl!tted !ut( . li%e in the )!b as a #ish in a deep sea( The c!!l dri;;le !# bl!!d #eeds e(
,i&e =hrist in the s!#t p!uch !# the %ir"in/s bell', . )ait in a sl!) da)dlin", #ish8li&e
c!n%alescence, #!r the !ent !# partin"> bri"ht clea%a"e, the #lash, the c!ld air li&e the sac& !# a
pal !n ' !uth( The lanterns, the heralds, the )ar su##!cati!n !# anial piss and )hite breath
in the b'res( T! lea%e this )!rld7
,'in" asleep . tr' t! ia"ine it( The babe h!!&ed !ut !# the uterus, c!in" up "aspin",
di;;', li&e the #ish )h! per#!r the sil%er nibuses ar!und the heads !# the #isherb!'s( The sudden
sc!rch !# sun al!n" e%er' scale( The da;;le !# li"ht #r! a illi!n cr!!&ed irr!rs( The 'ell !#
deliriu and #ire( Then the sae stale h!!& baited a"ain and dr!pped int! the !cean !# cha!s( The
br!)n8ared 0esus sits there, the intelli"ence runnin" al!n" the lithe r!d t! the pin& !uths !# the
#ishes( The #ishes idi!ticall' &issin" the h!!&s that a)ait the( E%er' tre!r, e%er' nibble runs
d!)n the line li&e a current t! the ner%es !# the br!)n ars( He sees n!thin"( Onl' the #in"ers #eel
the currents !# re!te ,i#e in a diensi!n unia"inable(
,'in" asleep . !#ten )!nder )hether =hrist )as n!t b!rn !# a pr!stitute( Whether the tale !#
the iaculate c!ncepti!n )as n!t s!e sh!)' literar' etaph!r !# the da', )hich )e translate
)r!n"l'( The s'b!l !# the #ish2 the ra' !# li"ht2 the essen"er> 4ei!us <neua7 H!) t!lerable
the )!rld i"ht be i# )e c!uld #ace an idea li&e that( 1ar' and Hilda, - )ith the breath !# plent'
bl!)in" in their s!uls, the "!urds - pluped )ith riches( The =hrist )e ha%e ade is a #ish> a # pale
intellectual parasite )h! has "na)ed !ur li%ers #!r an ae!n( $!n !# tra"ic !ther, tra"ic( The s!#t
intellectual #ish !# the #air'tale br!!din" in silence !n the h!!&s )hich he )!uld ne%er ha%e the
c!ura"e t! s)all!)( 0esus a dap scr!tu )hich has lain #!r t)! th!usand 'ears !n the butcher/s
slab, under the &ni#e ( ( (
The "reat bed dri#ts !n under the stars( Hilda the "reat 9uiet aternal b!d' l'in" here( The
bread !# 1e( Her crudepa)s see&in" al!n" !ne/s ribs as s!#t as the sacraental )a#er( 1e!r' has
an' )aitin" r!!s( We ha%e enc!untered and passed the spirit )hich br!!ds !n these iense
)aters( There is n! #ear le#t n!) !# cha!s( . a li&e an ibecile child %isitin" the M!!( . )ill ne%er
be happier #!r . )ill ne%er rec!%er #r! this s!#t phthisic paral'sis, the abs!rpti!n int! the aternal
)!b( Hilda is the "reat c!#!rter(
Or scre)in" her hat d!)n be#!re the "reat irr!r( The antelpiece is a !r"ue !# )ild
creatures, stu##ed and petri#ied in "lass b!6es( O)ls )ith pained e6pressi!ns and e'ebr!)s( The "as
han"s #i;;in" !n the &n!tted chandelier( 1' !)n re#lecti!n in the irr!r is turned upside d!)n
a!n" Hilda/s #ace creas, c!setics, undercl!thes, ph!t!"raphs( The han"ed an !# the tar!t7
Hilda/s "reat head is r!!ted t! her trun& )ith hea%' th!n"ed sine)s( $he turns this )a' and that s!
that the c!rds stand !ut sharpl'( $he purses her !uth up li&e a "iant suc&er t! ta&e the c!l!r #r!
her pencils(
.n the ni"ht e%er'thin" is bl!tted !ut e6cept the c!#!rt !# this hea%' #lesh, the c!#!rtin"
pressure !# a hand in ' hand( . a the in#ant in the h!spital bed> Hilda the incandescent ni"ht
li"ht )hich cherishes ' death8still #ace in sleep7 <aral';ed( E%en the passi!n itsel# has bec!e an
idea, a #i"ent )ith!ut relati!n t! 'sel#, the idi!t in the truss( Blind, the %ast tide spins us !n its
bac&, and desire #!lds up its tent, and iser' bl!!s 9uietl' in passi!n )hich is be'!nd tears(
Be'!nd tears, and "entl' r!c&ed !n the #ath!less paral'sis !# cha!s( The ni"ht sells as ust' as
a ph!neb!6( The e'ebr!)s !# the !)l pr!-ect a %ast tra%est' !# =!nnie/s #ace acr!ss the dar&( . a
sipl' a cheap c!setic t!uched t! the tips in dar&ness( . pr!%ide a c!l!r )hich s!!n sud"es,
dis, )ashes a)a'( The ne)spaper, li&e a b!b, lies !n the chair a!n" ' undercl!thes( O
)!rld, be n!bler #!r her sa&e7
Blind, in the dar&ness, the #aint ia"es !# the )!rld pr!-ect thesel%es !n the )all( The
chart !# ,!b!( The b!undar' )hich )e are all #!rbidden t! cr!ss( The passi!n )hich )in"ed e
until . )as an e6citin" s&ater, c!%erin" the thin crust ab!%e #ath!less blue )ater( The )!unded
"ulls #!r the ,atin )h!re( What ha%e . bec!e at last, that the ni"ht has bul"ed, s)!llen, burst int!
pieces* The #ace !# the %ir"in shines %ibrantl' !ut !# e%er'thin", the %ir"in pr!stitute !# the #able,
"riacin" pain#ull' under a thr!bbin" star( 4 #lu6 !# little #ishes )aits in her entrails, ea"erl', #!r
the d!!r t! #l' !pen !n the )!rld( Fishes )ith a &n!)in" l!!& :intellectual art'rs7
Here . a cruci#ied at last in the dirt' bed( The upire is the !)l )ith Hie 0acet e'ebr!)s( .
a at peace at last, #in"erin" the nail h!les, li&e the ad act!r( .t )as a )!nder#ul h!use t!ni"ht(
$e%en calls be#!re the curtain, n!t c!untin" the )h!le8cast !nes( 4cr!ss the treblin", de#lated
)!b !# the %isi!n the curtain slips d!)n "iddil', bearin" the !ne ap!cal'ptic )!rd>4sbest!s( ?.#
an' 'stics call be#!re ./ thr!u"h, -ust sh!) the t! the dressin" r!! a!n" the "auds and
#l!)ers, )ill '!u*@
The "reat bed dri#ts !n a!n" the planets( The sn!) has st!pped( The s&' is #ailiar a"ain>
clean and shinin", )ith a har%est !# brilliant pric&les( The airs are the ipalpable cereents that
clean !ur b!dies2 the essences !# the ebaler s!a& int! !ur b!nes( <!!r parcels !# s!#t ran& #lesh,
)ith the )ine and ci"ar s!&e bl!)in" in and !ut !# !ur n!strils, )hat sh!uld )ed! )ith the s!uls
that are supp!sed t! inhabit us* The !!n is peeled li&e a billiard ball( Hilda is cr'in" #!r the
4renian children )h! are reall' her !)n( $hall . tell her that she is 1ar'* $he )!uldn/t belie%e
e( That her tie is dra)in" !n n!) #!r the s!n !# an t! be b!rn* One ust a%!id alarin" her(
T!!rr!) the d!!r !# the )!b )ill be r!lled bac&( T!ni"ht, dri#t !n a!n" the #ailiar
c!nstellati!ns and drea( $u##icient unt! the da' is the )!an there!#( Blind, the ni"ht has shrun&
t! the diensi!ns !# the )asted penis:the h!ll!) reed in )hich li#e is carried and "enerated>
shri%eled under the taut stars li&e an ept' paint tube( (
O )!rld, be n!bler #!r her sa&e7
.tes !# !ur peculiar death( This, in the cate"!r' !# epil!"ues, th!u"h the sh!) has n!t
ended(
0anuar' brin"s the #irst ra) clea%a"e !# )eathers:a blind hint !# the erchandise )hich
be"ins t! #ructi#' under the sn!)( F!6es/ ears under"r!und, !d!r!us, !d!r!us( Fr! the chal&
breasts !# .!n an .!nian asph!del( 4s al)a's, the )eather . a c!ntinuall' re#errin" bac& t! is
spiritual( Winter is !re than an alanac> it is du" in in%isibl' /under the #in"ernails, in the teeth:
int! e%er'thin" that is decidu!us, calcine( Winter, as the #i"ures pr!duced b' the shad!) !# the
retinal bl!!d %essels !n an ept' )all( . tell '!u it is part !# the spiritual ad%enture, li&e !ur
eetin" in the sn!), and the "reat arterials stretchin" a)a' t! B!d li&e a psal2 and '!u, "athered
in the sn!), a s!#t ca%e !# #lesh( That is )h' . a ar&in" d!)n these ites in the l!" !# that
uni%ersal death, the En"lish death, )hich . ha%e escaped( .t is l!nel' )!r&( F!r each da' there is a
blan& space t! be #illed( . a n!t as industri!us as Bre"!r'( One th!u"ht !# '!u elts d!)n the !ld
#!unt !# )!rds, the runic, the antic, the 'sta"!"ic, s! that i# . s! uch as dare t! li#t a pen . #ind
the nib cl!""ed )ith a lup !# lead( . su##er '!ur absence, but . cann!t rec!ncile 'sel# t! it( .t is
as i# part !# ' spinal c!lun )ere absent( . cann!t stand erect, but sl!uch li&e the <e&in an( 4ll
ni"ht n!) . a )ritin"( ( ( (
Winter !rnin"( The sl!) pain#ul birth !# s!ethin" ra)( ,!chia( 4ll hair and ebers( 4
)!und acr!ss l!) rid"es !# cl!ud( 4 celestial snail has trailed its slie acr!ss this %alle'( 4ll
#eelin" !bliterated( The r!!, ' c!##in in iense shad!)s( 4t hal#8past #i%e the )his&' has
"i%en e such a bell'8ache . cann!t sleep( . dra) the curtain and stand be#!re the #ire, c!n#used b'
the e6pl!si!n !# #it#ul dreas in the c!nsci!usness, ars hu""ed under arpits, )atchin" the
!rnin" li#t( T!es c!ld, n!se c!ld, bell' c!ld(
.n the %acant bar the ash !# the #ire ust be "ra', the ept' "lasses upended in the sin& )ith
the #r!th sti## in the( . reeber )ith a pan" the r!)d' c!pan' )h! st!!d ab!ut the bla;e, the
"!ld urine #erentin" in the( The #ine sell !# r'e )his&', "in( =risp "reen p!und n!tes( 4crid
c!"nac that cau"ht !ne/s thr!at and !%ed al!n" the %eins in spi&es and needles !# #eelin"( 4t !ne
"!ld tilt here )as a cr!)n !# th!rns #!r an' =hrist a!n" us( The shu##le !# b!!ts, and punctual tap
!# phle" in the spitt!!ns ( ( (
,!b! is a)a' in Beran' !n h!lida'( 4n !ccasi!nal p!st card )ith an ine%itable !bscenit'
!n it arri%es #r! hi( Tar9uin is %er' interested( +Tell hi t!describe it in detail,+ he sa's an"ril'(
He )ants details( Tar9uin hisel# lies in bed, )ith a sha)l r!und hi, sippin" B!%ril( He is hurt
because =lare has n!t been t! see hi( He )ill sta' in bed until the "i"!l!/s pit' is ar!used( F!r
)ee&s, i# necessar' ( ( (
On the #i#th there is a st!r( ,i"htnin" and %ast thunder runnin" al!n" the ribs !# the
<alace, shi%erin" #ire and 9ua&e( 4 )!an &illed b' a r!!# tile( 3ri%en slates s&idderin" in the
sn!) li&e little sn!)pl!)s(
On the si6th . )a&e t! #ind the )!rld #inall' sn!)ed under( 3ri#ts a #!!t hi"h !n the r!ads,
in the "ardens, ceeteries, pla'"r!unds( That statuar' c!' and na&ed, an&les r!!ted in the )hite
9uilt( 1!r"an )ith a red n!se, snee;in" his head !##( Bi" #ires h!)lin" in the l!un"es( E%er' %isit!r
)h! !pens the #r!nt d!!r sends a "reat rin"in" blast !# air d!)n the c!rrid!rs( 3eath creeps in
a!n" the !ther scents )hich run lau"hin" #r! !ne end !# the h!tel t! the !ther( 4 breath !# c!ld
as piercin" as a!nia eats !ur n!strils(
4lt!"ether a curi!us e6pectanc' han"s !%er this da', as i# . a e6pectin" s!ethin" utterl'
!ent!us t! happen t! e( Or perhaps the )!rld( . scan the paper, but there is n!thin" t! -usti#'
this pre!niti!n( War has n!t been declared( The nature p!et !ccurs !n the iddle pa"e( $n!)(
Bird and h!ll'( E%en this is n!t the e6pected catacl's( 4ll the !ld in%!cati!ns ser%ed up in eter>
. can ne%er understand this #ri"ht#ul brand !# En"l'she =!untrie sentient, )ith its ine%itable #alse
rh'e )hich is s! uch !re ann!'in" than n! rh'e at all(
The r!bin han"s up!n the bush
4 -e)el in the )inter hush(
4lt!"ether n!thin" is happenin" and there is the hu"e #eelin" that s!ethin" has happened
!r ust happen( Tra##ic dis!r"ani;ed( The p!stan dispenses his spuri!us cheer !# dish!n!red
chec&s and late "reetin"s( 4 %er' err' Auletide t! '!u and '!urs( Tar9uin )ill n!t let e dra) his
blinds( He &n!)s, he sa's, that it is a bl!!d' da' and pre#ers t! spend it b' candleli"ht(
The r!bin t)irts up!n the b!u"h,
The p!stan has a nast' c!u"h(
But n!thin" turns up2 the anticipated Thin" lea%es e in suspense( Then(
4t teatie, butterin" t!ast in Tar9uin/s r!!, s)all!)in" ' spittle at its appeti;in" #la%!r,
. a appr!ached b' =harles, the dea# ute( On his little tablet he has the hier!"l'ph> +The #lat
teleph!ne( 4 lad'(+
. h!und d!)n th!se iense c!rrid!rs li&e a c!n%ict( E%er'thin" is silent in the r!!( .
thin& suddenl' !# Bre"!r', . d!n/t n!) )h'( Bre"!r' has -ust "!ne up #!r a breath !# air( . put the
recei%er t! ' ear and it is c!ld( A!u are tal&in" suddenl' in that pure anial/s %!ice( Bracie is
l'in" dead in the bed( .t is unr!llin" thr!u"h e, '!ur %!ice )ith its 9ueer #ri"id t!nes, a #u"ue !#
sn!) and cattle, and !ur b!dies li&e luber !n the )hite 9uilt( . a sittin" here li&e a dra)n #!)l,
#eelin" ' %iscera diss!l%e and #l!) d!)n !%er ' &nees t! the carpet( A!u are ta&in" a h!lida',
'!u sa'( 4 h!lida'7 Fr! )hat* 4nd, ab!%e all h!), )hen e%er' latitude is s)!llen )ith desire
and unrest, e%er' eridian p!is!ned* Here . )ill sh!) '!u ' )!unds li&e 1ercat!r/s pr!-ecti!n(
4 ne) cart!"raph'( F!r"i%e e, . did n!t ean it( A!u cann!t help the sn!)( There are #!ur
candles in the r!!( Aes, and the #irst editi!n !# Baudelaire( B!!&s* 3! n!t send e a b!!&( N!t
e%en the $!n" !# $!n"s( A!u cann!t sleep )ith a b!!&7 N!, there/s n! c!#!rt( Hull!, can '!u hear
e* N!, n!t e%en p!etr'( The ner%e centers are all dead( $end e a scalpel, a bri"ht ne) scalpel
)ith the cuttin" ed"e !# pr!phec' t! it( $end e a p!lea6, a huane &iller( Wh' d! '!u n!t spea&
t! e* Hull!( 4re '!u there* Then "! !n spea&in", because . ha%e n!thin" t! sa' t! '!u( N!thin"( .
a bein" burnt inside )ith the !ld danable bruises( T! hell )ith b!!&s, d! '!u hear e* . said
n!thin"( B!!d8b'( The .talian t!)ns are l'in" there crippled a!n" the priests and the 1!ther
=hurch( Bi%e ' l!%e t! Keats( 4re '!u )eepin"* 4#ter this . shall "! t! bed and !rder a b!)l !#
sn!)( . shall press it t! ' #ace )ith treblin" hands( 4 !nth #r! n!) )e shall eet, '!u sa'*
.# . c!uld belie%e in eternit' as a #e) slips !# printed paper )ith nubers !n the, . i"ht #ind '!u
intelli"ible( $pea& t! e( A!u are spea&in" but it is li&e )ater s9uirted !%er a statue( $a' s!ethin"
sharp, decisi%e( $pea& e a scalpel !r a -ac&&ni#e( N!, . a 9uite al!ne( The lau"hter* . heard
n!thin"(
4s '!u are ab!ut t! blurt !ut s!ethin" c!es the bri"ht clea%a"e, . return t! ' buttered
t!ast !n the t!p #l!!r( <re!niti!n #ul#illed( . a suddenl' a)are !# the dullness !# the e%enin", the
sn!) cl!sin" )ith its blue breath2 !ld )!en in their pris!ns &nittin", il&, hass!c&s, pra'er
b!!&s( Bales !# #ire in the l!un"es and !ld en dressin" #!r dinner( Tar9uin in bed, surr!unded b'
the b!nes !# hist!r', d'in" pieceeal in li#e, d'in"( There is n! !ne . can turn t! #!r c!#!rt(
4 "ale !# )ind has be"un t! ripple acr!ss the )!rld2 the p!les are t!pplin" !%er int! the
blue #lutterin" )in"s !# sn!) li&e d!%es( There is a "lacier runnin" sl!)l' in ' bl!!d( 1' s&in is
chapped and r!u"h as can%as(
. c!uld "! 9uietl' ad here, in this r!!, b' this three8da' cada%er )h! sits )rapped in a
sha)l, dec!p!sin"( One !# these da's '!u )ill #ind e li"htin" atches and h!ldin" the t! '
!uth( The last &iss under the istlet!e, the last druidical idi! !# departure !n the )et !uth(
+A!ur rustic bes!*+ sa's Tar9uin nicel'( He is bein" %er' tact#ul and draatic( He )!uld
sell his s!ul #!r a !uth#ul !# sch!!l"irl c!n#idences( . lie t! hi, but . can see he d!es n!t belie%e
e( His n!se 9ui%ers li&e a carr!t(
=!e, '!u attenuated s&elet!n, )ith ra;!r n!se and the !ne #!!t in eternit', let/s bri a
ne"us t! the death !# the )!rld, t! the sn!), the calait' !# )hiteness, the d!%es, the harl!ts, the
usic( . ean a real t!ast, )ith lau"hter that is n!t a cheap s)indle( This desire )as t!! delicate an
in#ant( B' B!d7 )e/ll a&e a an !# it(
BOOK TWO
.# The sprin" e%er brea&s in this district it is )ith an air !# surprised "reen( 4 !ent!us
#e) )ee&s !# #ruiti!n in )hich the little un)ar' thin"s c!e !ut in their de#enseless, nai%e )a'(
The s!!t and the etal paral'sis s!!n eat the( The can&er !# steel rustin" sl!)l' in the %ir"init'
!# the r!se(
The c!ld )eather dri%es us breast t! breast in these chill' #!r r!!s b' the ir!n st!%es( 4
ra) #u" !# anthracite and un)ashed b!dies( The children #art incessantl'2 and in the #!r r!!
upstairs 1arne', the hunchbac&, sits d!)n be#!re the #ire and spreads !ut the s!dden #!lds !# his
hand&erchie#, sni##in"( 4s the ran& enstr!us stea "!es up he )ill thr!) !%er his sh!ulder s!e
such pr!#undit' as>Es este !brer! 9uien #ua* !r $!!s n!s!tr!s 9uienes he!s hablad! al
ban"uer!* 4ll )inter he has a r!arin" c!ld, and e%er' da' his s!ppin" hand&erchie# is dried at the
b!iler thus( The children s9uea& and #art and h!ld their eternal pala%ers behind his bac&( The air
tastes #aintl' !# steaed sn!t(
This isH!ne')!!ds( The t)! suburban h!uses telesc!ped int! !ne, "athered, as it )ere,
under the ar!rial banner !# Eustace 4das H!ne')!!d, Es9( .nside th!se r!ttin" )alls, in the
bare, un)ashed r!!s, the children parade thesel%es dail', in a %ain attept t! aster the
principles and practice !# bi" business( Outside, the tras pass, r!c&in" and h!!tin", cann!nadin"
the )ind!)s in their l!!se #raes( The bi" "reen b!ard is chipped and #aded, and )hitened )ith
pi"e!n shit( The "utters sa" and the li"htnin" c!nduct!r t)an"s !n the )ind li&e a harp strin"(
4ll this is cust! n!)( Failiarit' has bred, n!t s! uch c!ntept, as a s!rt !#
unreas!nable l!%e !# the place( in the cr!!&ed little %estr', )hich is the h!l' !# h!lies, Eustace
hisel# lies all da' in a sleep' c!a( On the d!!r is the dec!p!sin" p!st card !n )hich he has
)ritten, at s!e tie be#!re the #l!!d, the "l'ph>E( 4( H!ne')!!d, 3irect!r( That eans '!u ust
tap be#!re enterin" in !rder t! )a&e hi up( <redilu%ial, pale!lithic, "e!l!"ic:the/re is n!
chr!n!l!"ical 9uali#icati!n )hich e6presses accuratel' the a"e !# this c!unit'( .t is !utside
chr!n!l!"ies(
This is a re#lecti!n #r! the little des& behind the d!!r at )hich . aunder thr!u"h the da'/s
)!r&( Ne6t d!!r, #r! the t'pin" r!!, the s'ph!nic rac&et !# t'pe)riters lea&s acr!ss the !cean
!# papers, !# #iles, bills, ac&n!)led"ents( The s!8called En"lish istress, )ith n! r!!# t! her
!uth, is dictatin" a #e) anth!l!"' pieces and classics #!r the t'pe)riters t! reduce t! 1!rse(
T!!))!) and t!!))!) and t!!))!)
=)eeps in this pett' pace #)! da' t! da'(
The des&s are huin" and the in&p!ts dancin"( 4 ild s!l! !# n!se bl!)in" #r! the
=!erce r!! )here 1arne' is dr'in" his hand&erchie# and teachin" c!ercial $panish( 3ust
al!n" the #l!!rs, and a p!is!ned sunli"ht al!n" the )ind!)s( This is the tie )hen the blac&bird
!pens up her dru#ire, streas !# s!#t8n!sed du8dus !n the stunned #ields( The capti%e canar'
in the c!rner c!pletes its illi!nth e6pl!rati!n !# the )!rld, and #alls asleep( .t is b!red( $prin"
has br!&en li&e Ka buc&et#ul !# p!unded ice and )e are still )!r&in" !ur #eet in !ur sh!es #!r
)arth( There is s!e irrati!nal pr!ble ab!ut Keats, and the ni"htin"ales spinnin" sil& in '
ind, battlin" )ith the sleep( The crepuscular !rnin" !penin" li&e a %e"etable, and this s!#t deca'
in )hich )e either )!r& !r sleep( 4t a precise p!int in the editati!n, )hen . ha%e reached Breece,
!r =artha"e, !r the $'rian li!ns spittin" "!ld dust, Eustace )ill !pen !ne lidless bl!nd e'e and
sa'>+=ar !n, e lad( Bet !n )ith that letter(+
+.t/s d!ne(+
+Oh(+ 4nd he )ill #all asleep a"ain, )rin"in" his ear pee%ishl' )ith his #in"er2 !r else )al&
up and d!)n ip!rtantl', !ne #in"er and thub searchin" in his )aistc!at #!r s!ethin" he ne%er
#inds, #ussin" and !pin", ta&in" !## his "lasses and replacin" the, )histlin" thr!u"h his teeth, !r
suc&in" the s!re sp!t !n his thub( Eustace is a 9ueer cu##in( .# he #arts b' ista&e he pretends
n!thin" has happened( .# . #art he is indi"nant( +Reeber '!u/re in a c!lle"e )ith '!un" ladies,
e lad,+ he sa's sti##l'( .# . repl', +H!it'8t!it',+ he )ill pretend t! "i%e e the sac&( This is
interestin" because he cann!t d! s!( . a his secretar', true, but !ur a"reeent is n!t !netar'( in
return #!r ' ser%ices he all!)s e t! spend three da's a )ee& learnin" t'pin"( 4 "entlean/s
a"reeent( Hence Keats, hence the li!ns spittin" "!ld dust, hence t! l!n" c!#!rtable d!;es in
)hich the )h!le )!rld is "athered up in a "rain !# birdseed and handed t! the canar'( Fr! a
pri%ate secretar' t! a asc!t is a sh!rt step( Fr! a asc!t t! a h!use&eeper ( ( (
+There/s that sell a"ain7+ he sa's( . ta&e n! n!tice( Keats ust c!e #irst( The sub-ect !#
#ault' draina"e is as !ld as N!ah( +3! '!u n!tice it*+
+Aes(+
+.t/s the "irls/ b!"s a"ain(+
Faint dra#ts !# cheese !r c!setics !r s!ap and s)eat, and then a l!n" curlin" )hi## !# this
%e"etable !d!r( $!e!ne )ill ha%e t! "! int! that #etid little tabernacle and pri;e !pen the cistern(
?+<lun"er )!n/t )!r&, eh* Aes( Aes( ./ll ha%e a pluber up t! l!!& at it(+@ .t is n!t the #irst tie(
Keats/ p!etr', . sa' #irl' t! 'sel#, rattlin" ' &nuc&les !n the des& li&e the b!nes !# 0udas, )as
the pr!duct !# his disease( Fi%e !re 'ears, three !re 'ears e%en ( ( ( +1iss Ethelred c!plained
this !rnin" that the pan )!n/t #lush,+ Eustace sa's suddenl'( +. can/t a&e !ut )hat that "irl eats,
li&e( .t/sal)a's her bl!c&in" up the b!"s( Once !re and ./ll sue her a and pa(+ The #aint )hi##
li&e a b!iled puddin", en"ul#in" Keats, Venice a!n" its #l!atin" #urniture, $e%ern, and that little
c!c& teaser $helle', li&e a bl!b !# pus scribblin", scribblin"( Or Halet )ith the incandescent
#ather* +,isten,+ he sa's, +d! it -ust this !nce( . )!n/t ne%er as& '!u a"ain( 0ust this !nce(+
. a "lad, #!r the sa&e !# this 'th!l!"', that 1arne' ta&es it int! his head t! c!e
seesa)in" d!)n the stairs at this precise !ent, t! c!ntribute his "!thic charade t! the !rnin"(
Here, his hunchbac& #i"ure, #!resh!rtened, )a""in" d!)n the stairs( First the le"s and b!d', all
spla'ed, then the little &n!t !# the head2 li&e !ne !# th!se carni%al #i"ures the' carr' !n p!les in
.tal'( His n!se han"s d!)n li&e N!tre 3ae in "l!!( 4s al)a's )hen he sees the hunchbac&,
Eustace #inds a %ein !# br!ad -!cular hu!r sprin" up in hi( One has t! be li&e this )ith hi
because he is s! %ain, s! terri#'in" in his %anit'( 5uic&, pretend that he is n!t de#!red, that he is a
"reat bris& n!ral an( We e6perience a panic !# ebarrassent2 )e bec!e ser%ile in the #ace !#
the "i"antic e"!tis !# this little East End 0e)( +4h ha7+ 'ells Eustace, +s! it/s '!u is it, 1ister
1arne'*+
1arne'/s head sits bac& !n his hup, perpetuall' c!c&ed up at the ceilin"( in !rder t! l!!&
at Eustace he a&es s!e c!pensatin" echanis h!ld hi #!r)ard, sti##l', as i# thrust !ut !n an
in%isible stic&( He is silin" his "litterin" sel#8satis#ied sile, !penin" and shuttin" th!se little pale
ushr!!s under his n!se( He is snic&in" aiabl' n!), pullin" d!)n his )aistc!at hard( +3/'!u
n!tice the sell, then*+ r!ars Eustace )ith incredible -!%ialit'2 and 1arne', scentin" a -!&e,
deands %!t sell he eans( +4 sell ./ tal&in" !#, sir( 4 sell )hat/s been b!therin" us t!da'(+
1arne' is actin" #!r all he is )!rth, sni##in" and p!utin", his %anit' thr!)in" up ia"es !# hisel#,
n!) in this p!se, n!) in that( +.t/s n!t e,+ he adits at last, +it/s n!t e %!t/s ade it(+ 4nd #r!
this piece !# )it "r!)s Eustace/s deep #alse bass!!nin" lau"hter, and the 9ueer snic&erin" !#
1arne': li&e s!e!ne s)ishin" a cane( 1' cue( . c!ntribute a !dish snic&er t! the part',
p!litel', as be#its a secretar' )h! can/t help !%erhearin"( We are b!th ner%!us !# 1arne'(
The hunchbac&/s dr' &n!t !# hair rides his scalp as i# in the "rip !# a hurricane( His #ace
bec!es s! taut )ith lau"hter that !ne #ears it )ill suddenl' #l' int! a d!;en r!u"h #ra"ents, li&e
a can%as as&( He is breathin" ri"ht in the !uth !# Eustace, leanin" !n the des&, !##erin" his
auseent t! the bl!nd an, )h! sits in utter dis"ust, lau"hin" bac& at hi( Once e%er' t)el%e
snic&s !r s! 1arne'/s b!d' su##ers a s!rt !# tin' c!pensatin" c!n%ulsi!n( .t is li&e )atchin" a
shirt pass thr!u"h a )rin"er( His ars are t!ssed )ide, his head c!es d!)n( Then the a"a;ine !#
lau"hter is eptied snic& snic& snic&( $hall he tell us )hat it is* he sa's at last, archl'( $hall he* .t/s
the "irls/ la%at!r'( The' #!ll!) each !ther !ut int! the hall2 Eustace is dri%in" hi bac& deliberatel'
n!), lau"hin" hi bac& t! his r!!( 4nd 1arne' retreats )ith sel#8satis#ied uncti!n, snic&erin"
and l!utin"( <r!-ects hisel# unc!uthl' upstairs a"ain li&e a crib, )hile Eustace &eeps hi !n his
)a' )ith little s9uirts !# lau"hter( Then bac& t! his des&, s)earin" under his breath, dis"usted,
!utra"ed, huiliated( 1arne'7 Eustace sittin" there #uri!us )ith 1arne', in his little p!lished blac&
h!!#s, )ith his bl!nd hair #allin" a)a' !n each side !# his head(
The huan c!ed'7 The di%ine draa !# a bl!c&ed shit8h!use all entan"led )ith 1arne',
the little br!)n h!!#s, the buc&et !# "reen ice and the canar' settin" !ut li&e =!lubus e%er' ten
inutes and endin" li&e $ir Walter Ralei"h( The ad%enture !# the ship, li&e a )!!den b!d', and the
spiritual ad%enture in the t!)er( . a n!t tr'in" t! uddle '!u( .t is !nl' that . 'sel# a uddled
b' these phen!ena:the sn!), and 1arne'/s ra) $panish tulip, Eustace and the ip!tence !#
bein" earnest( .# . l!!& at hi n!) he )ill be a little ashaed, reeberin" his lau"hter( in !rder
n!t t! let e see this, he )ill turn aside t! the little irr!r !n the )all and e6aine the ca%ities in
his teeth( Fr! the la%at!r' a b!iled puddin"2 #r! the hall )here the c!ats han" li&e the "irls/
pla'"r!und sel%es, )aitin" #!r the cl!c&, a )hi##, huan, s)eat', p!lluted )ith cheap scent and
rice p!)der2 #r! Eustace a pert #art:-ust t! sh!) that the e9uilibriu !# his sunn' teperaent
is rest!red(
.t is n!t )hat !ne thin&s, . ha%e disc!%ered #r! the b!!&s . read, that is ip!rtant2 it is n!t
e%en )hat !ne d!es( .t is )hat !ne is, essentiall'( That is )h' there is such c!n#usi!n )hen . set !ut
in an attept t! be"in this spiritual ad%enture, because the #ine l!"ical b!rders !# ' realit'
c!pletel' disappear )hen a )!rd c!es t! sei;e the2 . attept t! put 'sel# in -ail, as it )ere,
in the padded cell !# lan"ua"e, !nl' t! disc!%er that the )h!le e6ternal #acade is iplicated in this
pr!cess( There is the e"!, plus a nuber !# #antastic appenda"es, )ith pers!nal pr!n!uns attached
t! the( 1' des&, #!r e6aple, behind the d!!r2 ' sprin", #illin" ' b!)els )ith ush' ice2 '
Eustace t!!, ' 1arne' ((( .t is a rapaci!us echanis )hich attepts t! s)all!) the )!rld( in it
there is n! paradi" !# irrele%ances( E%er'thin" is included in this dra"net:as !ne i"ht set a
l!bster p!t !ne ni"ht and #ind a c!ntinent in it )hen the sun rises( The h!tel breathin" 9uietl' in a
sn!)st!r !# electric li"ht2 the e6istence here in )hich there is neither #aith, h!pe, n!r charit'2
,!b! sittin" li&e a disc!ns!late r!bin ?a <eru%ian r!bin@ b' the l!c&ed d!!r, )aitin" #!r 1iss
Venable t! !pen t! hi2 !r Eustace si#tin" his %!iceless #arts thr!u"h his undercl!thes and hastil'
!penin" the )ind!)( ?4nd then, t! annihilate this c!n#usi!n !# realities, t!da' there is a )ind
bl!)in" up #r! the ,e%ant( The !rnin" cae li&e a #!" al!n" a r!ll !# de%el!ped #il( ((( .t is a
little unreas!nable(@
. a sittin" at the des& )hen Oh appears, a"itated, s)eatin"( He teaches ec!n!ics( His
slac& blac& c!attails !urn a"itatedl' behind his thin bac&( His ustache lies d!)n )earil' !n his
lip( His c!rncra&e %!ice is deeper b' t)! t!nes than n!ral( .a"ine a sall s!iled pen"uin )ith a
)ea& bac&b!ne and br!&en #lippers( That is Oh( F!r B!d8sa&e, he is sa'in", Eustace ust d!
s!ethin"( There is !ne !# the "irls h!)lin" her heart !ut and he cann!t #ind !ut )hat is )r!n"
)ith her( His %i!let e'es are #ull !# tears( $he d!es n!t see in pain but she is( ((( Eustace puts !n
his "lasses and as&s, )here is she* Outside the d!!r* Ha%e her sent in at !nce(
$he is there all !# a sudden, a rather #ine8l!!&in" "irl !# ab!ut #!urteen( Thic& br!n;e
pi"tails, and her #ace trapled )ith )eepin"( 4ll !# a sudden she sa's, +./ bleedin/, sir(+ 4 stran"e
i6ture !# #ear, shae, and pu;;leent( Bleedin"* The tears are runnin" d!)n her #ace a"ain2 she
is "i%in" !ut en!r!us ale sni##s( Then, )ith her thr!at #ull !# #!", she p!ints at hersel# 9ueerl'
and sa's, +./ bleedin/ d!)n there, bet)een ' le"s, sir(+ 4nd be#!re )e can sa' !r d! an'thin",
she #alls d!)n as s!#tl' and e6pertl' as an ada"i! in #r!nt !# the des&, in a #aint( The c!n#usi!n is
iediatel' precipitated li&e a 1!rris dance( Oh beats his !)n c!attails in a )ild dash t! the
teleph!ne and starts rin"in" up a d!ct!r( Eustace and . pic& her up and put her !n a c!uch( <erhaps
the p!!r "irl stabbed hersel# )ith a pen nib !r s!ethin"( F!r a )hile )e cha#e her hands and
Eustace calls the En"lish istress in, )h! li"hts trails !# br!)n paper and h!lds the sha&il' under
the "irl/s n!se( There is )hisperin" in the c!erce r!!, and peepin" at d!!rs( The )h!le sch!!l
is sha&en t! the r!!ts( Then s!e!ne su""ests e6ainin" her( +Aes, 'es,+ #lutters Oh li&e a ballet
dancer( +$he i"ht be bleedin", t! death(+ The En"lish istress declines the pri%ile"e !ut !#
!dest'( $he has n! r!!# t! her !uth, and als! she is scared( Besides, she c!uld ne%er be able t!
e6plain c!herentl' t! an'!ne a#ter)ard, supp!sin" she did #ind !ut( Well, !ne !# the !lder "irls is
called in, and )e ales retire( in ten inutes the En"lish istress c!es !ut )ith a scarlet #ace, and
runs t! the la%at!r' t! ha%e a "!!d )eep( in the c!erce r!! the' are )hisperin"> +What* Her
peri!d* What )as all the r!)*+ etc( etc( The d!ct!r, )hen he arri%es, "i%es us the ne)s in in stilted
thr!at' edical ters( He is pr!ud !# &n!)in" the terin!l!"', it sees( The En"lish istress as&s
#!r the da' !## t! "et !%er her blushes( $he )ill be bleedin" ne6t i# she/s n!t care#ul( +.t )asn/tthat .
)as scared !#,+ sa's Eustace, c!nteptu!usl'( +$ill' little Winnie( The "irls "et up t! 9ueer tric&s
s!eties( 4h )ell(+ He is silin" n!)( E6pellin" his n!iseless lau"hter !ut bet)een his teeth
)ith "usts !# ci"arette s!&e( The teperature chart has #allen t! subn!ral #!ll!)in" the
anticlia6( Oh stands there in his s!iled pen"uins and "i%es a "i""le !# relie#, then catches his
b!ss/s e'e and bec!es #lint a"ain:passi%e, s!iled, i!ble and %er' sh'( $uddenl'
reeberin", Eustace sits up and sa's, +1r( Oh, sir(+ The %i!let e'es sin& t! the "r!und as he
stands there, )aitin"( +3! '!u n!tice a 9ueer sell, sir, in here, sir*+ The e'es #lash up t! Eustace,
t! e, #lutter and )ander !ut int! the "arden( He d!es n!t sni## !r !%e a uscle( .t )as as i# he
)ere sni##in" )ith his ind( +N!,+ he sa's harshl' at last( +N!, sir(+
This 9uesti!n !# the b!iled puddin" steain" in its ra"s7 Or $e%ern dri#tin" d!)n a!n"
the #l!atin" #urniture in a birdca"e acr!ss Venice( .# it )ere in ' ch!ice . )!uld re-ect a petrarchal
c!r!nati!n:!n acc!unt !# ' d'in" da', and because )!en ha%e cancers( ?This is a spiritual
ad%enture, n!t the e!irs !# a pluber(@ +3! it please,+ sa's Eustace, +d! it #!r e this !nce and
./ll pr!ise it/s the last tie(+ Oh has tr!tted a)a' thr!u"h the 'ard d!!r, t! his des& in the
ec!n!ics r!!( .ne%itabl' s!e!ne ust "! int! that little h!le and pri;e !pen the cistern lid t!
a&e the plun"er plun"e( Eustace is sittin" there leanin" #!r)ard, )ith an an6i!us, pre!ccupied
l!!&:as i# he can hear the shit sl!)l' pilin" up( +B! !n,+ he )heedles s!#tl', iserabl'(
.n the end . ta&e an ipr!%in" b!!& and retire t! this little tan&8li&e la%at!r' under the dust'
staircase( The )alls breathe a beauti#ul !isture( .t is as c!!l as a butter dish( Fr! the hi"h
)ind!) . a in direct c!unicati!n )ith 1adae 4b!ut, )ith her irre"ular %erbs(+=ela passe
t!ute cr!'ance,+ she ann!unces suddenl' in ' ear, "raci!usl'( 4 9uesti!n is as&ed( The s!unds are
all h!ll!) and res!nant( The "raci!us !ld )!an )ith the rin"ed hands, and the arist!cratic
pre!ccupati!n in her e'es2 the secrec' !# thin"s ar!atic, lea%es, #erns, under the sn!)li&e
silences( . ia"ine the candid pr!#ile up!n the )ind!), drenched in its !)n pri%ac'( E%er'thin" is
peace )hen the children enter her r!!( N! rebelli!ns, n! hates, n! h'sterias( in the suer
a#tern!!ns it is li&e a drea, tie sl!)l' #l!)in" acr!ss the classr!!, the blinds s)in"in" and
#rec&lin" the "irls/ ars and thr!ats( 3ust !n the )ind!)s and the tras s!therin" b', shad!)s
acr!ss the )ind!), passin" in cineatic brie#ness( On the dais she has cupped !ne hand in the
!ther and is tal&in" 9uietl' t! hersel#, tired t! the p!int !# sleep( $he d!es n!t li&e helpin" e t!
read French %erse2 it disturbs her th!u"hts, disturbs this !il8!n8)ater a#tern!!n, and the c!in" and
"!in" !# breath in her !uth( 4t #!ur she )ill si"h and disiss us )ith the benedicti!n !# relie#2
scre) d!)n her !ld blac& hat )ith l!n" pins, slide her b!!&s int! the leather satchel, and "!,
"atherin" up her s&irts li&e a ballet dress( 3!)n the dar& staircase int! the sunshine, al!n" the h!t
pa%eent b' the pla'in" #ield )here the trees crisp t!"ether(
.n the la%at!r' . cl!se ' b!!&, disturbed as . al)a's a b' the re#lecti!n !# 1adae
4b!ut/s inner pri%ac'> the 9ualitati%e superi!rit' !# arist!crac', )hich brin"s !ut the tradesan in
Eustace and 9uenches the children )ith!ut a )!rd( . a a little sentiental ab!ut her, thin&in" !#
the tall blac& 9ueen treadin" the ne) "rass !# the pla'in" #ields, passin" d!)n Breen ,ane li&e a
breath !# tran9uillit' in her bul"in" patched sh!es2 the cherries drippin" #r! her hat, salutin" the
hips and ha)s, and the ne) thin"s )hich bud and sti##en al!n" Rus&in 1an!r( <assin" al!n" the
l!"ical cric&eters li&e a pre!niti!n !# abs!lute death, shad!)in" their an"el )hite )ith her blac&
rustlin" cl!thes and silence( .t is t!! real, the draa )hich she !##ers t! this c!!n, rather ean
and shabb' realit'( $!eties, sittin" at the )!!den des&, )atchin" her #ace set sti##l' in th!u"ht, .
ha%e the sensati!n !# intrudin" !n her, penetratin" the #acade !# pre!ccupati!n )hich separates us(
But this pr!cess is al)a's ta&en up sh!rt( $he is a)are !# the p!tential trespasser in e( When she
catches e her #ace brea&s int! that per#ect la;' sile, and . a ashaed !# the !b%i!usness !# '
interest( . a c!n#used b' the sile, the #l!)er that !pens up)ard #r! her thr!at( ( ( ( 1adae
4b!ut li&e a blac& suer h'pn!sis d!inatin" a #!r7 What . a tr'in" t! "et at is the al!st
diensi!nal 9ualit' !# her di##erence #r! the !thers, as )e i"ht be a #!rula:the sae class
passin" #r! r!! t! r!!, teacher t! teacher( The teacher a catal'st )hich chan"es us( . a
thin&in" !# 1arne', and the subterranean hate )hich c!nnects hi )ith the pupils( 1arne' is a
relic !# the 1iddle 4"es2 there is the #eelin" that !ne da' a ch!rd )ill stri&e, a cable snap, a )heel
turn:that the )h!le class )ill rise t! its #eet and st!ne hi( 1ae'/s #ace is al)a's %isible,
er!ded, )eathered, lined )ith %anit', starin" at us #r! a hundred cathedral "utters, #r! "!thic
buttresses, c!rbels2 !r runnin" !n hands and #eet be#!re the a%en"in" st!nes !# the !b( O#ten,
sittin" a!n" the #!r, !ne can #eel the teperature !# e!ti!n ta&e a sudden deep cur%e up, at
s!e sall "esture !# his, s!e %ain rear&2 . can #eel the hair ti"hten !n the scalps !# these thirt'
"irls as the' stare at hi( 4t such ties, i# he dares t! a&e a -!&e, the lau"hter is s! harsh and
b!red that !ne )inces instincti%el'( But he sees n!t t! n!tice, turnin" !n the "ridir!n !# his !)n
%anit'( When the' "et hi pr!perl' !n the run the ra"e sets his #ace sall and hard2 his n!se thins,
e'es sin& bac& int! his #!rehead( He is li&e a bird( 4nd this r!uses the "irls( The' )ant t! "!ad hi
t! the end !# e!ti!n2 the' are #lushed )ith ra"e and a &ind !# se6ual happiness( The' )ant hi t!
burst int! tears !r #!a( But the sae class )ill pass int! the French r!!, and sit as passi%e as
cattle, #aced )ith the c!plete st!ical passi%it' !# the !ld lad'( 1adae 4b!ut, celebratin" an
eternal inner sprin", th!u"h the hea%ens are #allin"2 ha%e #allen, . supp!se !ne sh!uld )rite( . )as
n!t there !n that 4u"ust a#tern!!n in )hich !ne !# the an' chr!n!l!"ies claied her2 'et . a
there, )atchin" the death as& silin", )ith the #l!)er in its thr!at( ?+.# this is iprecise it is
because . 'sel# a uddled(+@ B' the sae eth!d she is here, i# . br!!d !n it a!n" the islands,
the #lutes, and berries> a!n" the labs leapin" t! the ceilin", little #l!ss' b!bs !# sprin"( 4!n"
these hesitatin" pa"es, scribbled )ith eendati!ns and ia"es( .# '!u ust )rite there is n!
#!r"et#ulness, and n! e!r'( The !nl' peri!dicit' is in the tie !# p!e( Ver' )ell, 1adae
4b!ut t! )alt; tie, in a ne) scansi!n, )ith a caden;a !# death in it( Or 1arne' as a dact'lic
ele"', punctuated b' the brass' sp!ndees !# n!se bl!)in"( .t is n!t di##icult t! e6plain( On the
antelpiece is a cl!c&( The hands stand t! 9uarter8past si6, and it is stri&in" t)el%e(B' these t!&ens
. &n!) that it is e6actl' ten past ten(
4t last, the suer has shut d!)n !n us li&e handcu##s( There is hardl' tie t! drea(
3ust, bric&dust, sa)dust, s!!t( Fr! the <arade the cit' is car%ed int! ist' n!cturnes2 the uslin
"irls are !ut, salt and baubled beauties, each hu""in" her drea:r!ance( The drea )hich has
n!t c!e true( E%en the trees cha#e, as i# ea"er t! up r!!ts and a)a'( 4nd . a ent!bed in the
asphalt cit', )atchin" the suer as i# #r! behind bars( On )ee&da's, as an inhabitant !# this
)!rld, . a "lad t! escape #r! the h!tel( 4t ni"ht, racin" al!n" the lanes h!e)ard, . )!nder
)hether this is n!t a s!luti!n t! thin"s> an ei"ht8h!ur tiepiece di%ided int! ill!"ical p!rti!ns,
tellin" e )hen t! eat, )!r&, sleep( .t is n!t purel' a 9uesti!n !# #!!d2 . eat, 'es( 1!re than that, .
ha%e #!urteen h!rses !# ' !)n c!nsuated in b!ld steel t! carr' e )here%er . )ant( Aet . a
n!t happ'( 4ll the r!ads lead !ut)ard2 the buses hu and dance al!n" the r!ads, pac&ed( $li, the
slanted, sil&8st!c&in"ed le"s batter past e in dust:pilli!n riders headin" s!uth( The' are s!
certain !# their suer, the e'es behind ica "!""les, the an at the )heel, the stern dri%er(
Tar9uin is a)a' !n h!lida'( He is "!in" t! #ind #ul#illent these da's, he tells e( .t is the
&e' )!rd( Ful#illent7 He lies in bed and thin&s ab!ut it( +. thin& i# . c!uld be br!&en !pen
s!eh!),+ he br!!ds, +it )!uld be "!!d #!r e(+ We had a sta" part' n!t l!n" since )ith a #e) !#
the b!red l!cal '!uths, <eters and Fa!l, at )hich he becae screechin" drun&( Ni"ht, i# '!u can
ia"ine it:a h!t suer ni"ht )ith the h!tel ains all #used( We )ere sittin" there, li"htin" !ld
ne)spapers in the "rate and drin&in"( +$!eties . #eel s! dan stale inside( Full !# stale air and
icr!bes( . drea . a su##!catin"( . "! int! a r!! )ith an a6, and there . a l'in" !n the bed
li&e a plaster cast, #ull !# dust( H!nestl'( . li#t an a6, !ne t)! three( ( ( ( 1' head crac&s !pen, r!lls
!n the #l!!r, . brea& in hal#2 and the r!! is #ull !# dust, the h!tel, the street, e%er'thin" thic& )ith
dust( Then . l!!& at the plaster andthere is n!thin" inside7+ The little "in"erbread "!ds !# suburbia
sittin" there )ith a b!red l!!& and Tar9uin can%assin" #!r s'pathies( .# '!u sa' s!ethin" reall'
intelli"ent the' )ill li#t their "lasses and drin& absentl', t! a%!id thin&in" ab!ut )hat '!u sa'( .#
'!u #art the' )ill screa )ith lau"hter at '!ur )it( 4#ter)ard, )hirlin":d!)n the scented c!untr'
lanes in the car, Tar9uin suddenl' bell!)s> +<erhaps . need speed( 1!re speed( . )ant t! "et the air
in ' lun"s(+ 4nd be"ins t! cr' !ut, +Faster, #aster, #aster,+ until =lare #ills hi t! the "ills )ith "in
and puts the ru" !%er hi( Ful#illent7
=lare hisel# has "!ne n!rth t! sta' )ith his !ther( That is )h' 1e is unbearable #!r
Tar9uin( One da' he thin&s he/ll "! t! $al;bur" #!r the #esti%al, the ne6t t! 4ntibes, the ne6t t!
4th!s( 4s a c!pr!ise he "!es t! Bri"ht!n, in !rder t! be n!t !re than t)! hundred iles a)a'
#r! =lare( . see hi !## at the stati!n( He l!!&s ill and be)ildered, standin" at the carria"e
)ind!), as i# he )ere bein" ta&en int! the ne6t )!rld( His lips treble( He "rips ' hand #iercel',
a#raid t! let "!, +<erhaps a "irl,+ he sa's( +Eh* ,isten t! e, dan '!u, )hen . spea& t! '!u(
<erhaps . c!uld #ind #ul#illent i# . arried, eh* 4 "irl( . i"ht #ind a "irl, )hat d! '!u thin&* .
th!u"ht it all !ut the da' . said "!!d8b' t! hi( . hate -!urne's( . #eel s! dan )!rn !ut these da's(
.# . had children and settled d!)n, eh* The pull !# d!esticit' and all that stu##, eh*+
The train be"ins t! dra) a)a'( . can thin& !# n!thin" t! sa' t! hi( +.t/ll be all ri"ht,+ . sa'
idi!ticall'( +3!n/t '!u )!rr'( .t/ll be all ri"ht(+ He leans !%er clutchin" ' hand, dr!ps it, reaches
!ut, siles( The distance stretches bet)een us, sl!)l', #luidl', li&e che)in" "u( He cann!t let "!
!n the &n!)n )!rld( +O B!d,+ he )hispers, +. d!n/t )ant t! "!( . d!n/t )ant t! "!(+ 4nd the en"ine
shrie&s( His #ace !%es acr!ss the s&' li&e the #ace !# death itsel#( Ful#illent7
.n the h!tel the s!ur carpets putre#' a!n" all that !ther #urniture, real !r ia"inar' .
cann!t tell( . a n! l!n"er sure !# the !utlines !# the real, s! that en and )!en thesel%es ta&e
!n a curi!us iperanence, i6in" t!"ether li&e shapes and s'b!ls in a cinea i68in(
4 letter #r! the under)!rld, t!!, )hich has a curi!us dust' #la%!r )hen . read it here(
+3ear <uc&,+ '!u sa', +e%er'thin" is altered n!) )ith the #irst sprin" thin"s, the #irst
delicate #l!)ers( E%er')here there are delicate arteries tha)in", and the earth turns !%er !n her
side t! let the seeds )a&e in her( The c!tta"e lies 9uietl' in the sh!ulder !# the hill, under the
discipline !# da' and ni"ht( When d! )e eet*+
8 . a reinded !# .shtar "!in" d!)n e%er' 'ear int! the territ!ries under"r!und, the
at!sphere !# dust and ashes and silence2 and the sl!) %e"etati%e re%i%al !# li#e, the c!rn sprin"in"
#r! the na%el !# Osiris( The rain da;;lin" !n the en!r!us e'elashes !# 4pril( The En"lish
$eas!ns, s! n!stal"ic in death, cherishin" their deca' in hea%' l!a and delicate rain7 .t is
s!ethin" un&n!)n( $prin" under the led"e !# the .!nian )eather, that is the ia"e )hich has
s)all!)ed the c!tta"e, the 4pril, the dri;;le a!n" the c!rn2 '!ur letter reinds e !# the sea
a!n" the islands, pla'ed !ut, slu""ish, inert li&e a hea%' blue s'rup( 4nd here* 3ust !n the
)ind!) #raes, dust !n !ur hands, !ur e'ebr!)s, and the rac&et !# achines(
4t ni"ht <eters tells e ab!ut his "enius, c!parin" it t! the "enius !# !ther en past and
present( +One ust be a an !# the )!rld,+ he sa's sh'l', +li&e Eli!t, d!n/t '!u thin&*+ . !##er hi
th!se p!rti!ns !# Bre"!r' )hich c!ntain n!strus a"ainst the literar' e%il e'e, and can!ns #!r
n!%ices>+B!!&s sh!uld be built !# !ne/s tissue !r n!t at all( The stru""le is n!t t! rec!rd e6perience
but t! rec!rd !nesel#( The b!!&, then, d!es n!t pr!perl' e6ist( There is !nl' ' tissue, ' "uilt,
transuted b' B!d &n!)s )hat alche', int! a #e) pints !# "reen in& and handade paper(
Dnderstand e )ell( This is the ideal bein" )e call a b!!&( .t d!es n!t e6ist( 4nd )hen . tal& in this
&n!)in" )a' . intend '!u t! ia"ine the )!r& !# "enius . c!uld )rite i# . put ' !)n principles
int! practice( 4las7 . a t!! )ell read t! a&e the attept( Or perhaps )ell bred:because in !rder
t! )rite !ne ust #irst be c!n%inced that e%er' b!!& e%er )ritten )as ade #!r !ne t! b!rr!)/
#r!( The art is in pa'in" bac& these l!ans )ith interest( 4nd this is harder than it s!unds(+
Well, this is n! c!ncern !# ine( Bre"!r'/s little stru""les )ith his l!"ical sel# ha%e a #la%!r
!# putre#acti!n here, at the des& behind the d!!r( Whene%er . bec!e t!! c!nsci!us !# this
suburban h!use, this suburban )!rld, )h!se s'b!l is the ap ,!b! is dra)in" and ne%er #inishes,
. lea%e the stu##' %estr' in )hich Eustace )al&s and )histles, adds, pic&s his teeth, suc&s his pipe,
c!nsults his tin )atch, and clib the stairs t! the r!! )hich is ar&ed +Beneral Kn!)led"e(+
There is !ne s!litar' !ccupant2 an in&' pers!nalit' )hich bel!n"s purel' t! the )!rld !# the ia"e(
4 ne"ress( 1iss $ith(
$he sits, care#ull' se"re"ated #r! the pallid n!rthern pupils !# the sch!!l, )!r&in" a)a' at
The ,i#e and Ties !# =haucer( .t is curi!us( . a c!pelled t! snea& up t! the t!p #l!!r three !r
#!ur ties e%er' da' t! assure 'sel# that she is still sittin" there, l!st in the 1iddle 4"es, )ith the
)ind!) at her bac& l!!&in" !ut li&e a blind e'e !n the 'ard )all( Dnreal7 But )hat d!es !ne
e6pect* A!u cann!t e6pect her t! ha%e the realit' !#, sa', 1!nda', H'nb!!&s, lunch inter%als(
$he d!es n!t c!pete( 4s . sa', she bel!n"s purel' t! the )!rld !# the ia"e( 4"ainst her there is
!nl' Man;ibar, andra&es, 1arc! <!l!, El Brec!, and the 3ead $ea( Tr' t! a&e her plausible and
'!u )ill #ind '!ursel# i6in" her in a ste) !# ia"es, t!rn lib #r! lib #r! the 'th!l!"ies !#
4sia( $he is ' !ne c!nnecti!n )ith the l!st )!rlds( . treasure her( . )!uld n!t &n!) )hat t! sa' i#
she le#t and depri%ed e !# that )!rld !# 'th )hich . can see s! clearl' at )!r& in her(
A!u see, . sit beside her #!r t)! h!urs e%er' !rnin" n!), e6p!undin" =haucer/s lan"ua"e
t! her, ab!ut )hich . &n!) n!thin" )hats!e%er( This is a c!ncessi!n #r! Eustace( $he ust "et
l!nel' up there, all al!ne, he sa's> and n! !ne reall' understands that blin&in" =haucer but e(
+4nd n! uc&in" ab!ut )ith her, ' lad,+ he adds unc!#!rtabl'( +Her #ather is a #a!us 4#rican
-ud"e(+
+1iss $ith,+ . sa' sternl', +are '!u a)are that this lan"ua"e '!u are learnin" )ill be
useless t! '!u*+
$he c!c&s her p!ll d!)n sh'l' and eits a sni""er, lau"hin" behind her hand, as i# she )ere
sh' !# her )hite teeth( .t is #ascinatin"( $he lau"hs at e%er'thin", chuc&lin" sh'l' in her slee%e( .t is
pure Man;ibar, ti"er ti"er burnin" bri"ht, !n&e's, pa"!das ( ( ( e%er'thin" at !nce( This insatiable
"i""le !# hers "ets in a!n" ' th!u"hts, and sha&es the )!rld t! pieces( 4 ne"ress in bri"ht
cl!thes, lau"hin" d!)n her slee%e, at a sch!!l des&( =h!c!late carpets !# auseent, hissin"
bet)een #!ur )alls, under a blind )ind!)(
1iss $ith p!)ders her #ace hea%il', snappin" her #lash' cr!c!dile8s&in ba" !pen and shut(
$he pla's "race#ull' )ith her #eatures ab!%e a p!c&et irr!r, li&e a dissatis#ied "a;elle at a p!!l(
Her breasts are lar"e and lan"uid inside the Eur!pean cl!thes( Her hair has been art#ull' clipped
int! the shape !# a b!b( .t reinds !ne !# th!se sti## t!piar' pri%ets, clipped int! #!rs, a"ainst the
natural "rain !# the #!lia"e( But it is useless( With !ne lau"h . a acr!ss Man;ibar, c!l!red staps,
'ell!) shar&s, %ultures, =haucer, lipstic&, <rester 0!hn, Ethi!pia:!%in" in the rare air !# the
ia"e, )h!se id!l she is( .t is useless #!r e t! sa' t! her> +. ha%e seen )!en li&e '!u car%ed in
eb!n' and hun" !n )atch chains(+
$he )ill lau"h in her slee%es( Her e'eballs )ill incandesce( Her red Eur!84#rican !uth
)ill be"in t! lau"h a"ain( .t bec!es ip!ssible t! )al& hand in hand )ith =haucer !n the #irst
1!nda' !rnin" !# the )!rld( The lau"hter penetrates us, s!a&s us, )inds us in sp!!ls !# dap
hu!r!us acar!ni( Beads !# Nubian s)eat brea& #r! the ch!c!late s&in, p!)dered int! a att
sur#ace( 1iss $ith sits #!re%er at the center !# a lau"hin" uni%erse, her lar"e lan"uid tits r!tatin"
!n their !)n a6es:the )hi;;in" !phal!i !# l!c!!ti!n( 4#rican )!rlds !# t!te and traua(
The shin"le deserts, the anials, the ar&s, the #l!!ds, car%ed in a #rantical rictus !# the dar& #ace,
bent hair, and the l!n" stead' pissin" n!ise under the lid !# teeth(
4ll she can d! is lau"h in her slee%e and p!)der that blac& c!n& !# hers -uttin" #r! the
hea%' helet !# her head2 )hen she pisses, pressed d!)n, s9uashed !%er the s!und b!6, #r! the
lau"hter spurt -ets !# hide!us dar&ness, a st!r !# Man;ibar, li&e blac& treacle( ( ( (
That #!cus )hich attracts us all s! uch is centered, li&e a c'cl!ne, !%er se6( A!u a' thin&
'!u are l!!&in" at her, l!!&in" at the idea !# her, but reall', see&in" under her cheap Eur!pean
dress, '!u are l!!&in" at her #ertilit'( The p!tential stirrin" !# s!ethin" ali%e, palpitatin", under
her dress( The stran"e strea !# se6 )hich beats in the hea%' arteries, #aster and #aster, until the
)!rld is sha&en t! pieces ab!ut !ne/s ears, and '!u are le#t )ith an indeterinate %isi!n !# the
)ar 4#rican #issure, !pened as tenderl' as sur"er', a red8lipped c!!n "rin ((( t! s)all!) all the
)hite races and their ener%ate creeds, ar&s, their !li%e branches(
4l)a's . #ind 'sel# turnin" #r! the pa"es !# Be!"raph', !# #l!ra and #auna, !# "e!l!"ical
sur%e's, t! these studies in eth!s( The creeds and !res !# a c!ntinent, cl!thed in an iridescent
tunic !# !il( . turn al)a's t! th!se ri%ers runnin" bet)een blac& thi"hs #!re%er and #!re%er( 4
cathartic Mabesi )hich ne%er #ree;es !%er, #i"htin" its )a' thr!u"h, but #l!)in" as chastel' as i#
it )ere cl!thed in an iridescent tunic !# !il( . turn al)a's t! th!se e69uisite h!rr!rs, the utilati!ns
and de#!rati!ns, )hich c!bble the hist!r' !# the dar& c!ntinent in little ulcers !# adness( $tran"e
strea&s here and there '!u )ill #ind> hair8tri""er insanities, barel' sh!)in", li&e #la)s in ice, but
runnin" in a stead', hea%' ri%er, the endless tributar' !# se6( The' #eed th!se #ecundatin" ri%ers !#
seed )hich #l!) bet)een the c!!l thi"hs !# the Nubian, sti##en in his arteries, and escape in
steain" lau"hter d!)n his slee%e( ,!!&, i# '!u dare, and see the plate8!uthed )!en !# the
=!n"! Basin, !re delectable than the pelican( Va"inas turnin" blue and e6pl!din" in dar&
#l!)ers( The penis slit li&e a ripe banana( $eed spurtin" li&e a illi!n c!ets( The enstrual
catharsis s)er%in" d!)n #r! the l!ins, d'ein" the blac& carpets !# #lesh in the s)eet sell, the
rich ura! !# bl!!d( The )!rld !# sensati!n that hus, d'naicall', behind the )alls !# the bell'(
The slit lips !# the %a"ina !penin" li&e a )hale #!r the 0!nahs !# ci%ili;ati!n( The %e"etables rites(
The prepuc!pha"!us #ail' an> the #!res&in eater( 4ll this li%es in the )!!l !# 1iss $ith,
plainl' %isible, but d'in"( .t is this aura !# death )hich sees e6citin" t! e6perience, t! speculate
!n, as . )atch her sittin" in this attic r!!, surr!unded b' charts !# the prehist!ric )!rld in )hich
=haucer still #arts and icturates deb!nairl'( The blac& and the )hite latitudes "athered t!"ether in
!ne septic #!cus( Hush7 $he has n! idea !# the disease !# )hich she is the %icti( Her #ace is s!
beauti#ul a!n" the edie%al castles, the hunchbac&s, the s)ans, that e%en Tar9uin is dil'
a##ected b' her( Fr! his diar' he read e the i!rtal phrase in )hich he put d!)n ?in clean li"ht
=hinese brush str!&es@ the essence !# her(+,i&e a blac& saucer her ind is, shattered a!n" a
illi!n )hite saucers(+ 4nd readin" it, )al&ed "ra%el' up and d!)n, #in"erin" his tep!ral l!bes(
+Hu( Hu( Aes( T! -ud"e b' the shape !# the craniu . a a an !# sudden terrible ra"es( Hu(
Hu( . thin&,+ he said at last, +. )!uld arr' her perhaps, )hat* 3! '!u &n!) an'thin" ab!ut her*
W!uld she arr' an En"lishan !# "!!d #ail'* .t )!uld be dec!rati%e e%en i# . ne%er #uc&ed her,
)hat*+
. a reinded h!), sittin" here at the des&, . ha%e persuaded her t! read al!ud t! e
s!eties( F!r pre#erence n!t =haucer !r ,'d"ate, but the acar!nics !# $&elt!n )hich she sees
t! #ind ausin" and interestin"( $hut '!ur e'es( Her %!ice, s!#tl' tied, c!es h!arsel' !ut !# her
thr!at, anipulatin" the )!!den s'b!ls !# the En"lish, in#lectin" the )ith stran"e dist!rti!ns, a
curi!us scansi!n )hich rin"s a ne) ner%e in the craniu( $tran"e c!l!rs "l!) in the l'rics, shades
!# rh'th li&e drubeats, sei9ua%ers, 9uarter8t!nes, )hat n!t( Nascent, e%en under the "narled
belchin" )!rld she e6pl!res )ith its turds and turnips, #l!)s the ri%er( The )h!le Mabesi, p!ured
thr!u"h a cheap print dress and a tube !# denti#rice( The Nile eptied )!rd b' )!rd int! a "lass !#
il&(
Ne6t d!!r 1arne' is sittin" at his des&, head in ars, listenin" t! the bacilli "na)in" at his
spine( His hup s!#tens, slac&ens, spins, brea&s in t)!, and the icr!bes p!ur #r! his %etebrae
chirpin"( He is #i"htin" his dar& an"el( .t is n! "!!d( He reebers the )!an in the dap r!!,
the anthracite, #!", dirt' undercl!thes, #rench letters, c!%ered in -a, h!lsters and achiner'( He is
#!rced t! his #eet, #!rced t! r!c& d!)n t! the la%at!r' and stand ri"idl' !%er the pan, #uri!usl'
&n!c&in" hisel# !##, #eelin" his breath patter #aster and #aster in his !uth, the bullets !# #eelin"
riddle hi #r! head t! #!!t( He h!lds his penis a)a' #r! hi, as i# it )ere a p!tat! bein" cleaned
in a sin&( 4#ter)ard he is #!rced t! lean his head a"ainst the c!ld )all( Tin' cries !# ra"e and
dis"ust c!e #r! hi( He is d!!ed( Tenderl' be butt!ns hisel# up and clibs the stairs( He is
a#raid( The dar& an"el han"s !%er hi( He !pens a b!!& !n d!uble entr'( The cabalistic ritual !# the
atheatics s!!thes hi( He e6p!unds a pr!ble t! hisel#, !%in" his lips, #iercel', a)are
al)a's !# the succubus han"in" !%er hi( +Aes,+ he )hispers ur"entl',+'es, . understand it( Aes(+
The laent #!r a dead sparr!) r!lls acr!ss the planet li&e a )heel, attachin" itsel# t! chun&s
!# En"land and 4#rica alternatel'> a superip!siti!n !# )!rds( .a"ine =haucer larded in spit,
r!lled in car%in"s and #l!ur, turnips, a'p!les, !strich e""s, t!tes2 paddled d!)nstrea a!n"
sn!!;in" alli"at!rs, n!ses ab!%e strea2 stirred b' the bi" t!e !# the hipp!, and ser%ed )ith
drubeats and d!" shit in a #eudal castle, under can!pies b' candleli"ht !r rushes(
. tell '!u, )hen she reads the )!rld !%es int! a diensi!n !# pure sensati!n( Her "iant
!uth !%es up and d!)n the pa"e, #uddled )ith lan"ua"e li&e a "!r"ed bee, pr!ducin" e%er !re
sharpl' c!n#lictin" !dulati!ns, sn!rin" rh'ths, hastrin"s, incisi!ns, tubers2 )!!d)ind( ( ( (
4nd underneath it all, this !bsessi%e ri%er #l!)in"(
. a sittin" here )ith ' e'es shut, )atchin" the lan"ua"e cr!ss ' ia"inati!n, each
s'llable a c!l!r( 4 %isible n!tati!n !# ia"es thr!)n up, thee and c!unterthee, all i6ed in a
cra;' #u"ue( 4ll p!urin" d!)n t!)ard that !ri"inal center !# e6!dus under the c!l!red dress( The
l!bster p!t !# the l!st races, int! )hich . a p!ured )ith the s'llables, druin" d!)n li&e suds in
a sin&( The #lap !# an en%el!pe has shut d!)n !%er ' e'es> . a %!luntar', subissi%e, achin"(
4s . s)in" d!)n int! the dar&ness . a "r!)in" "ills a"ain, and an electric tail( 1' penis s)ells,
turns purple, and ' brains dr!p !ut !# it( . ha%e dr!pped at last thr!u"h the "ratin" int! the ri%er,
ha%e se%ered the c!rds behind e, a #ree t! s)i in the atri6, the blac& saucer, &n!)in"
n!thin"( 3il' can #eel the sluice !# rich "ra%' druin" al!n" ' scales, the sl!) c!rrupt
deliriu !# rebirth( 4 #ed( 3a;;lin", in the #lash !# this last !ent/s reas!n, . 9uesti!n 'sel#
ea"erl'( .s this ausia, aphasia, a"raphia, ale6ia, abulia* .t is li#e(
! ! !
Or else at ni"ht, in the !pen car, under the il&' brilliance !# the s&', c!n#ess ' sins and
p!nder !n the ,!"!s )ith the prec!cit' !# ad!lescent despair( . ha%e the sensati!n !# d'in", #r!
the r!!ts !# the t!es up)ard, bein" c!nsued li&e the asph!dels a#ter a late seas!n( These
d!)nt!)n )!en reind e !# '!u( The c!nt!rti!ns !# a )h!re )ill suddenl' !pen '!ur #ace
bri"htl' #!r e, )ith the e'es sittin" there, hard, cr!!&ed, erciless as dia!nds( The suer is
li&e a drain, ch!&ed )ith #ilth and bl!!d' ra"s( This des& is the pulpit #r! )hich . in#ect the )!rld
)ith ' despair( The audit!rs are in, stic&in" a #riendl' spanner int! the !bs!lete achiner' !# the
sch!!l( Eustace has be"un his duel )ith e( .# he arri%es #irst in the !rnin" he )ill put e%er' bill,
#!r, receipt, led"er, %!ucher, !n ' des&, and abs!l%e hisel# !# "uilt( 4t lunchtie, )hen he
"!es, . )ill direct the )h!le strea bac& !n t!his des&( This "ae )ill "! !n until <etitt the audit!r
#lutters in, )ith his n!se bleedin" and 9uills behind the ear t! settle e%er'thin"( 4#ter that there is
n!thin" t! d! but listen t! Eustace depl!rin" his )i#e/s #ertilit'( +. -ust han" e tr!users !n the
bed,+ he sa's p!i"nantl', +and she/s clic&ed a"ain( .t/s n!t l!"ical( . d!n/t &n!) )hat happens( .
reel' d!n/t(+
Then, !ut !# all this r!utine, this si#tin" !# bills and candidates, c!es a )ire #r! Tar9uin,
as&in" e t! eet hi at the stati!n( . #ind hi in a #irst8class carria"e, s)athed in a ru", )ith a
s!#t hat dra)n d!)n !%er his e'es( His #ace bland, se6less, )ith the 9ueer st!n' si"ni#icance !# an
4rabic cipher( He !%es sti##l' ab!ut, "atherin" his lu""a"e, appearin" n!t t! n!tice e( When .
spea& t! hi he d!es n!t ans)er( We "! !ut li&e "h!sts t!"ether, t! )here the car is par&ed(
$uddenl' . a a)are that there is s!ethin" )r!n"( . see his #ace #raed acr!ss the
c!rru"ated ir!n r!!#, the bubble !# s!!t and stea, the br!!d8are )hinn'in" !# en"ines( .t is set in
a #i6ed #ri"idit' as i# he had l!st the use !# his uscles( He tuc&s the ru" r!und hi and settles
d!)n, br!!din"( The car is "athered up in the lines !# tra##ic( . sa' n!thin"( <resentl' he )ill tell
e )hat it is in that ner%!us, lapidar' %!ice !# his( N!)( His lips !pen, but he turns his head a)a'
silentl'( Faint "raph !# his b!n' chee& a"ainst the li"hted sh!ps( Then he spea&s iserabl', #!ldin"
his %ir"inal lips r!und the )!rds, as i# reluctant t! let the escape hi( +. had a )!an,+ he sa's,
turnin" a)a'( 4 silence( . a abs!rbed in tra##ic( He rearran"es the ru", and c!u"hs( Then )ith a
deadl' ipers!nalit' he be"ins t! spea& a"ain( $uch an ic' al!!#ness, he i"ht be !##erin" a
de#initi!n #!r a dicti!nar'( +. had the )r!n" idea,+ he sa's( +$he lies d!)n and arran"es her le"s
li&e c!passes( But !# c!urse '!u &n!)*3! '!u &n!)* $hape !# an 1( . ha%e ne%er seen an'thin"
s! !bscene in ' li#e(+ He lau"hs sha&il'( +$he catches h!ld !# '!u and s!rt !# c!r&s hersel# up
)ith it(+ He "i%es a little c!u"h and sits there, upri"ht and pale, )ith the ru" "athered r!und hi as
i# he had recei%ed an electric sh!c&( We s)in" d!)n the l!n" li"hted streets h!e)ard, and all the
tie he is sittin" there at ' side, )hisperin" and utterin" 9uietl'( +. a #inished,+ he tells
hisel#( +Finished( 3!ne #!r( Ended( Fr! n!) !n it/s "!in" t! be di##erent(+ His e'es )atch his
!)n re#lecti!n !n the )indshield )ith the 9ueer bl!ated l!!& !# an !ct!pus( in !rder n!t t! thin& .
dri%e as #ast as p!ssible( The d!! is "r!)in" a"ain, the n!stal"ic panic !# these pr!%inces, )hich
&ills these en( 4nd Tar9uin is here, l!!&in" as i# he )ere bleedin" t! death under the ru"(
We arri%e, and )ith the sae cha!tic ibecilit' he )atches the p!rter unstrap his ba"s and
carr' the up( in his r!! he lies d!)n iediatel' !n the bed and cl!ses his e'es( The air is
hea%'( The )ind!)s reain shut( E%er'thin" is the sae2 n!thin" has been t!uched( The 0apanese
prints, the icr!ph!t!"raphs !# the spir!chetes, the red handbill !# the l!c& h!spital, the pipe rac&
pictures9uel' ipendin" )ith its unt!uched briars( 3ust !n the rac& !# b!!&s, .sid!re 3ucasse,
Hu'sans, R!l#e, 3!)s!n, <!pe, $trache', etc( His 4erican c!usin strains !ut !# her #rae li&e a
"!!se, and recalls that %!ice . heard !n the ph!ne !nce( +Tell hi n!t t! be s! di;;'( He/s "!tten t!
be a !ral leper these da's(+ The cash8re"ister %!ice !# a ne) c!ntinent( His diaries lie !n the shel#,
)aitin" #!r the re%elati!n, the =hinese in&, the R!an nuerals, the B!thic script( What )ill he
)rite*
+A!u can/t understand ' death,+ he sa's at last( +4 #uc&/s a #uc& t! '!u( E!ti!nall'
'!u/re a pl!)b!' still( Open ' suitcase, )ill '!u* in the b!tt! le#t hand c!rner '!u/ll #ind s!e
eau de =!l!"ne(+ . !be' hi( He saturates a hand&erchie# in the scent and presses it t! his #!rehead(
. sit here iserabl' !n the st!!l, tr'in" t! read the naes !# the #!li!s !n the usic rac&( The li"ht
is %er' di, shinin" #r! the pian! in the c!er(
+=lare is bac&,+ . sa'(
+H!) !ld are '!u*+
+T)ent'8t)!(+
4ll !# a sudden a curi!us c!n%ulsi!n sha&es the bed( The sprin"s be"in t! t)itter( . stand up
in alar and see that the c!rpse !n the bed is )eepin"( His !uth han"s d!)n, )!bblin" !pen,
t)isted up side)a's int! a dec&le8ed"ed "rin( The hand&erchie# c!%ers e%er'thin" e6cept his
!uth, #r! )hich c!es this taut, pain#ul pissin"(
.ediatel' . see 1iss $ith/s red dish !# lau"hter )idenin", runnin" d!)n her slee%es(
The hu!r p!urin" #r! the )et ni""er "rin li&e a strea !# "!n"s #allin" !%er us in an !cean !#
disc!rd:until )e are #l!underin" d!)n a"ain int! the annihilati!n !# the l!st c!ntinents(
4#raid, . run !ut int! the passa"e( E%er'thin" is 9uiet )ith the hall!)ed 9uietness !# an
En"lish $unda' e%enin"( . a su##erin" #r! a s!rt !# indless h'steria( . per#!r a nuber !#
sill' acts, )ith!ut reas!n, e6cept that . ust n!t thin&( The h!tel )ith its ant li#e, its c!rrid!rs, its
s!n!lent billiard r!! and l!un"e, surr!unds e(
. !pen a b!!& and see '!u standin" !ut there, li&e a )hipped bitch a!n" the apple trees( .t
is n!t "!!d en!u"h, ' beauti#ul id( On the title pa"e there is $apph! editatin" under the terri#ic
e'eballs !# the ni"ht s&', the sea curlin" a)a' under the )hite r!c&, the h!ll' treblin" at the
!!n, the sil%er riders "all!pin" t!)ard =rete( Turn '!ur #ace t! the sea )all, and listen t! the
n!is' lun"s !# the )ater under the cli##s( The !!n cra)lin" acr!ss the )ar tiles, and the )h!le
Bree& )!rld "athered in a sin"le &n!t !# a"!n' in the le#t breast( The ni"ht !%in" !ne )a' and
the sea an!ther, and the b!d' t!rn in t)! b' the( Or is it Bracie in her En"lish r!! "!in" blind
as a c!llie a!n" the starched c!llars* Bracie and $apph! sharin" the last da;;lin" -up int!
hist!r'( The )ater cl!sin"( The tactless sea in an' husbands !# sil%er treadin" the )hite eat
under the cli##s, breathin" a!n" the statues and the ch!rus( B!!d8b'(
.n his r!! ,!b! is sittin" !n the bed in his ele"ant c!ntinental s!&in", )aitin" #!r the
h!ur t! stri&e( T! ipr!%e his techni9ue he is )!r&in" hisel# in the irr!r( +W!r&in",+ he calls it(
+W!r&in"+ a )!an( His e'es enlar"e and diinish, re"isterin" e%er' insinuati!n bet)een !riental
er!ticis and sheer deliriu( . sit in the chair, and he d!es n!t spea& t! e( He is abs!rbed in his
!)n )!nder#ul art> cruci#ied b' this techni9ue )hich he !perates #r! the leerin" 1a'a lecher/s
as&(
+Tar9uin,+ he sa's at last, absentl', +sa's . )as cicisbeis( H!t d!", eh*+ He is all!)in" the
supplicati!n t! run int! his e'eballs li&e elted butter(8,!b! is )al&in" in that %!id )ith cr!!&ed
#in"ers and the hun"er !# the )!an !n hi( He is / ne%er satis#ied, deep d!)n inside hisel#(
There is al)a's this panic hun"er )hich ends in a &ind !# #ebrile h'steria !r brutalit'( +When .
c!%er a )!an,+ said <ere; !nce, +)hen . cr!ss her and "et int! her:. a h!e(+ But ,!b! is
ne%er h!e( The )!b is his tar"et, but he isses it( $!ethin" inter%enes, a letter, a bill, a
calculati!n, a #it !# )eepin", bl!!d, n!strus, #ear( He is #!re%er sittin" inside the barbed )ire,
plannin" ne) ap!cal'pses )hich ab!rt2 ne) det!nati!ns )hich #i;;le d!)n in blac& p!)der( The
irr!r rec!rds his despair #!r hi( . a sittin" here bitin" ' nails, tr'in" n!t t! thin& !# Tar9uin(
$! uch !# his a"!n' in the "arden is ine( When he spea&s . tr' n!t t! understand( . tr' n!t t!
iplicate 'sel# in the pr!cess, the achiner' !# despair( . tr' t! read n!thin" but the actual )!rds
!# the "reen diar', sans undert!ne, !%ert!ne, ru!r( .t is n!t ine, . tell 'sel#, n!t ine( . ha%e
!ther pr!bles( 4nd 'et . can/t "et !ut !# ' ind the details !# that h!lida' in Bri"ht!n( The
ennui( The sl!)l' sta"natin" h!urs !# despair )hich #!ll!)ed Tar9uin/s e6perience( .t is a little
h'sterical8a&in"( He )ent e%er')here t! tr' and bl!t !ut the th!u"ht, t! dances, useus,
theaters( in a cinea he th!u"ht he i"ht be dru""ed #!r a )hile( +Then . had !ne !# ' ideas( .t
)as all th!se pe!ple in there, #u""', l!us', dap, sittin" in r!)s( 4nd . th!u"ht suddenl' !# the
illi!ns !# -a)s !# r!tten !lars ar!und e, the r!ttin" #lesh !# their b!dies>. tell '!u there ust
ha%e been se%eral hundred tubes !# shit laid up al!n"side !# e in there, palpitatin"7+
His %eheence is terri#'in"( He is paral';ed( He cann!t spea&( He cann!t !%e( His tears
are cl!tted in his !uth, his thr!at is #ull !# r!c&s( 4s he spea&s he "!es acr!ss t! the )ashbasin,
turns !n the tap, and be"ins t! spit and spit, as i# he )!uld ne%er be d!ne )ith it(
.n the ni"ht, )hen . )atch hi sittin" at his pian!, pla'in" t! his brain, . &n!) that it is n!t
the adness that c!unts, essentiall' c!unts( .t is the tic&in" !# the death)atch )hich reinds e !#
the true #!cal sepsis( 3eath perhaps, the )!r trailin" its slie acr!ss this r!!, these b!!&s, this
pian!( . a s! sall 'sel#, s! utterl' incapable !# la'in" e%en ' !)n "h!sts, that . dare n!t ta&e
the resp!nsibilit' !# his( That is )h' it is s! di##icult t! )rite ab!ut hi:. a b' iplicati!n
appin" !ut ' !)n scenari! !# despair )hen . see hi standin" at that )hite )ashbasin, spittin"
and spittin"( 4nd in a lesser de"ree the sae is true !# ,!b!, !# <ere;, !# all these antic aniacs
)h! li%e li&e -i""ers in the s!les !# ' #eet( That is )h' . a s!eties a#raid !# "!in" ad( .
ha%e a blindin" sec!nd/s re%isi!n !# all that . &n!), belie%e, d!ubt, re%erence, ad!re> '!ur #ace, his
#ace, the s&ull in the irr!r, the &na%e, the -ester, the #!!l:and . a a#raid(
This idea is perhaps n!t un#ailiar t! '!u( . ha%e reached a dead rec&!nin" s!eh!)(
$unda' #!ll!)s li&e an' cruci#i6i!ns, and . ha%e utterl' n! sense !# pr!"ressi!n( On the t)el#th
ni"ht !# a 'ear alread' ancient )e ha%e rain, rain in a l!n" line !# !penin" ra;!rs( .t is threshin"
d!)n the "rain, rapin" the !rchard )here the apple trees stand li&e =aliban2 )here '!u are l'in" n!
d!ubt )ith '!ur )!b #ull !# l!a and the #!6"l!%es t!uchin" '!ur nipples( N!thin" passin"
acr!ss the arena !# sud"ed hills but the %el%eteen "ae&eeper )ith the beaded steel "un( .t is
al)a's the !ld 'ear here> an !ld 'ear:+a blind !ld bitch, "!ne in the teeth7+ The b!dies !# the )ise
en si#tin" d!)n their essence !# acti!n t! apples and "rain and cider2 the "reen c!unties li#ted up
t! e li&e the !uth !# ' "irl( The churches s!len a!n" the lichen "ra%e'ards( in 1e!ria2
!n the "rass the arble stups, li&e a !uth#ul !# r!tten teeth(
.n these da's )e are )ild> a drun&en, )h!rin", peril!us cre), ailess as lunatics, racin" !ur
!)n a"ic #r! place t! place, sin&in" and silin" a!n" the d'in" b!ttles( ,au"h and the )!rld
lau"hs )ith '!u, su##er and '!u su##er al!ne( . "ather '!ur #ace up li&e a "!blet !# brand' and drin&
it s!lenl', !uth, e'es, hair, n!se, lips, canines, l!bes, diples, tics:e%er'thin" in a "ulp(
T!!rr!):)hat is that* T!da' there is an aputated centru in )hich all acti%it' is de%!ted t!
itsel#( T!!rr!) there )ill be #resh air !n ' -!)ls, there )ill be children s9uealin", papers, in&,
sl!%enl' )!r& eanin" n!thin"( 1adae 4b!ut "atherin" her de#ensi%e "uts r!und that &n!b in
her )!b( But t!ni"ht . a abs!l%ed, in a &ind !# paral';ed )a' . a #ree( . can bri"hten ' lips
)ith spittle and shine #!rth li&e an !"re2 . can ch!&e '!u in ia"es, )h! are !nl' an ia"e
'!ursel#2 . can sile a!n" the candles and the b!ttles that taste !# sand( . can "r!%el in ' !)n
sic& and de%!ur ' !)n dun"( . can die:!r sleep(
<a"e b' pa"e this n!ctuar' "ets c!pleted( .a"es( =l!uds( $had!)s in in&( Fran&l', .
&n!) n!t )hat . d!( There is 1iss $ith, )earin" a !th8eaten u## in idsuer, and ,!b! in
his natt' suitin" )ith the subdued stripe( The' are "!in" t! =anterbur' #!r the da'( Blessin"s !n
'!u, ' children( Behind the altar screen, the "reat res!nant "!th "l!!in" !%er the, the 4bbe'
)ith its blue "ra's, its t!!th8)hite, curd8'ell!)( in this aura !# prehist!r' he tries t! &iss her( $he
stands s!lid all !# a sudden, turned a)a', petri#ied( He is "i%in" a #e) <eru%ian "r!ans and &issin"
her #in"ers( 4ll !# a sudden she starts hissin"( Her !uth is !pen and %erili!n( Fli"hts !# "eese
spit and )hirl a!n" the arches( $he is cl!sed up b' an in%isible sprin"( The' "! !ut in a"itati!n
and enter a tea sh!p( He is a#raid she is ad( $he lau"hs incessantl' all the )a' h!e, t!uchin" her
sh!ulders )ith each ear, this blac& "!!se spittin" in her !)n handba"( 4t ni"ht he sits in his r!!
)ith dub perple6it', as&in" )h' she lau"hed( Wh'* +.s she %ir"in, dear b!'*+ He is
treend!usl' interested, an"r', pi9ued, s!re, pu;;led, &een( ( ( ( . can see that he plans t! add her t!
the albu( F!r #un . tell hi a #e) lies(+Vir"in*+ . sa' )ith #ine indi"nati!n( +What d! '!u ean:
%ir"in*+ .t is "!!d t! )atch the interest, the e6ultati!n, drain !ut !# his #ace li&e )ater !ut !# a bath(
His !uth is !pen( E%er'thin" is p!urin" int! it, drainin" a)a'( in that case, he sa's, she )as
tr'in" t! a&e a #!!l !# hi( =an '!u ia"ine it* The ne"ress standin" in the 4bbe', a lau"hin"
l!"arith, #lappin" her )in"s and lau"hin"( Bah7
4t ni"ht, perhaps, i# there is n!thin" else t! d!, a %isit t! the c!rpse that inhabits Tar9uin/s
tea8"reen dressin" "!)n( We sip B!%ril )ith "enteel a##ecti!n, li&e a c!uple !# spinsters, !r pla'
cards at the "reen #!ldin" table(
+A!u are "rate#ul, '!u sa', #!r bein" ade t! thin&, t! )ei"h, t! anal';e*+ as&s the her! in
care#ull' siulated surprise( +A!u than& e #!r the death . a transittin"* . assure '!u, ' lad,+
and s! !n( . accept these !rsels hubl'( Huilit' and di%init':are the' n!t the sae thin"*
=!ns!lati!n7 =!ura"e7 One da' )hen '!u are a bi" b!''!u shall ha%e a tedd' t! pla' )ith(
+A!ur tr!uble is that '!u are '!un"( A!ur ideas are e!an: '!u see #alse da)ns brea&in" all
!%er the place( A!u actuall' h!pe( Dntil the plat!nic p!is!n is !ut !# '!ur s'ste '!u cann!t be"in(
$t!p ia"inin" an ipanate =hrist, #irst !# all( Bread ust bec!e bread, n!thin" !re !r less(
This tea tastes !# urine, d!es it n!t* N!, it/s '!ur turn( =!nteplate the )!rld )hich has created
'!u, ' dear, and see )here '!u stand(+
There is n! ans)er t! this e6cept that . &n!) n!thin" !# the )!rld )hich created e(
N!thin"( . a a s!rt !# tic&er tape, thr!u"h )hich li#e runs its ribb!n !# shabb' pulp( What is
)ritten !n it . cann!t tell( 4 l!%e letter perhaps, !r a rep!rt !# #aine, !r a p!e, !r a descripti!n !#
a ne) disease(
+3ear <uc&,+ '!u sa', +the "uest has c!e )ith!ut )arnin", s! that . a a#raid the h!use
isn/t read' #!r hi( $prin"( B' the la&e '!u can hear the c!pulati!n !# the #r!"s, li&e s!!th
pebbles bein" rubbed t!"ether( The' are d'in" in 9uantities, their %eins are sh!t )ith bl!!d( .t is
"!!d )hen )e lie d!)n t!"ether t! &eep reeberin" the death all ar!und us, in the cl!uds, in the
la&e, in the )!!ds )here suer is chained up li&e a blind an( .t is death that a&es !ur l!%e
adult, the death !# the "rain( .t is s! bitter )hen )e are t!"ether, but, li&e salt, reall' n!urishin"(
3eath is a )!nder#ul discipline( 3! '!u understand e* B!!d ni"ht(+
A!u are n! l!n"er a#raid( The sprin" is '!ur all'( The !ne seas!n '!u pr!perl' understand,
ans)er in '!ur b!nes( But n!) that the blind an suer has br!&en his rust' chain and "!t #ree
:)hat n!)* $hall )e a&e s!e #ine al&aline p!es t! neutrali;e this dust, this s!a #e%er*
3ear 4lan( . a al!ne a"ain( This b!!& is n!t a stateent !# a path, but a 9uarrel )ith
destin', that is )h' it is necessar' #!r '!u t! understand it( The suer is lar"el' resp!nsible:n!t
t! enti!n the little death( . )as thin&in" t!ni"ht !# th!se suer da's in the shad!) !# the pri!r'(
The' see t! bel!n" t! an!ther )!rld:a )!rld !# shapes )hich included such c!l!rs as )arth,
charit', l!%e, etc( 4 )h!le d!rant <lat!nic principle )hich, in its essence, is En"land:the
arr!) and b!ne !# En"land( This is a %er' necessar' %aledicti!n, n!t !nl' t! En"land, but, i# '!u
li&e, t! the )!rld( .t )ill hurt '!u, but it is the truth( . ha%e l!!&ed int! ' acc!unt:the acc!unt
that seeed s! #ull and hea%' )ith ne) cash:and #!und hardl' a c!in that )ill rin" pr!perl' !n
)!!d( There )as n!thin" #!r it but t! ept' ' )allet int! the dust and ta&e the r!ad a"ain>
)ith!ut draatics this tie, )ith!ut her!ics:n!t t! enti!n l'phatics( .t is 9ueer t! reeber
that this decisi!n )as alread' shapin" itsel# that a#tern!!n, )hen )e st!!d !n the s!uthern t!)er !#
the pri!r', han"in" in the bree;e, breathless and e6ultin" li&e sea birds( 4ll that )as the island then,
)as represented in that hu!r!us ra;!red pr!#ile !# '!urs8the predat!r' n!se !# the 1iddle 4"es,
the B!th sin"in" in '!ur bl!!d, the usic '!u "athered up in th!se ner%!us #in"ers and transitted,
cra;' )ith '!ur !)n enthusias( $!uth)ard, li&e a "reen beatin" heart, the #lats stretched a)a'
int! the ist( The 'th )eatherin" s!#tl' !n the c!rbels, the #ra"ile spines !# the )ind!)s )ith
their ar!rial bearin"s, the buttresses #l'in" int! an eternit' !# childish hist!r'( We )ere han"in"
up there, li&e #lies, !%er the $a6!n ri%er, )atchin" the t!nsures cr!ss the leads in editati!n(
.rrati!nal th!u"hts and #eelin"s )heelin" up !%er e, )he)in" li&e "ulls, s!ber( .t )as in that
tie that . be"an dil' t! see the e9uati!n )hich )as #inall' printed in ' brain here, !%er the
.!nian( .t )as the teptati!n !# the de%il, the %isi!n !# the cities !##ered t! e #r! an iense
!untaint!p( The de%il7 What sh!uld be !re plausible than that '!u sh!uld be the Blac& $aint
hisel#:panur"ic, l!n"8n!sed, calculatin" bastard that '!u are7 A!u )ere !##erin" e, in '!ur
!bli9ue )a', the )h!le !# En"land:the as9ues, the %i!ls, the s)ans, the ists, the d!!, the
#!"s> '!u )ere !##erin" e a edie%al death in )hich . c!uld li%e #!re%er, sti#led in the p!llen !#
bre%iaries, n!ctuaries, bestiaries> split sil& and tubrils, aesthetic h!rses and ruined 4bbe's( The
laent #!r 3id! !penin" up such pits !# e!ti!n in ' brain that . #ell up!n ' &nees, and
shattered in little pieces in the hearth( The #!rest !penin" its e'es !# #r!st, the unb!rn !rnin" !#
the )!rld, the de) in a sheet, the trees sti#led in #eathers( The "reat !rchestra h'nin" "ru##l'
a!n" its ants, "atherin" and brea&in" in tie t! the sea( The h!t lic& !# the )inter rain, blindin"
us all #r! c!ast t! shabb' c!ast( Or <at "!in" 9uietl' ad a!n" the sprained spires !# O6#!rd(
A!ur r!!, )ith the "ra!ph!ne li&e a br!&en )!b ept'in" Beeth!%en !%er us( This is the
)!rld )hich )as iplicit in !ur e6tra%a"ant "ust, !ur lau"hter, !ur tears, !ur p!es( That is )h',
)hen . tell '!u . ha%e re-ected it, . )ant '!u t! understand clearl' the ters !# that re-ecti!n( That
is an En"land . a "!in" t! &ill, because b' "i%in" it a 9uietus !nce and #!r all, .can re%i%e it7 This
is n!t a #lash' parad!6, but s!ethin" . ha%e e6perienced, s!ethin" that . ha%e su##ered(
Dnderstand e( .t is n!t %er' di##icult( The "ulls are )heelin" a"ain, in their s!#t terr!r, the r!!&s
are uneas'( in the "l!! d!)n bel!) the' li"ht the candles and be"in: the s!#t ele"ant litanies !#
reli"i!n( .t is an ap!cal'ptic !ent, bet)een hea%en and earth( We are han"in" !%er the inute,
cra)lin" t!)n, )hile the bells !pen up( Dnder !ur #eet the t!)er r!c&s at each ipact !# the %esper
bell( 4 train sn!res !ut)ard, al!n" the hills, int! the past( The decisi!n is ade( . a n! l!n"er
s!#tened b' tears !r d!ubts( . ha%e bec!e as hard as a br!n;e edal( What it c!st e t! aintain
this terrible e9uilibriu, t! bec!e resp!nsible !nl' t! 'sel# #!r )hat . a:that is n!t the
ip!rtant thin"( The ip!rtant thin" is this> i# . succeed, and . )ill succeed, then . shall bec!e, in
a sense, the #irst En"lishan( . tell '!u this in c!n#idence, because a#ter)ard, )hen the "reat
stru""le is !%er, and the )h!le ps'che !# !ur nati!n:!ur )!rld:is thr!)n bac& int! "ear:then
there )ill be plent' !# tie #!r understandin", anal';in", )!nderin"( .t is n!), )hile the duel is(
!n, that '!ur understandin" is %aluable( This is all . can sa'( Fr! that rare latitude, )hich . carr'
)ith e )here%er . "!, under the E9uat!r !r !%er the <!les, . )rite '!u this %aledicti!n and
"reetin"( 4##ecti!natel' A!urs, Halet/s little "!dchild(
The death dap is creepin" in a"ain( in the autun )e escape !ccasi!nall', li&e !les, int!
the upper air, and br!!d !n the e6tincti!n settlin" d!)n !%er En"land( This is chie#l' t! enable
Tar9uin t! )rite his usical p!e>T! En"land( He is participatin" bra%el', he tells e, in the death
under the shield> the death )hich he s)ears is #attenin" itsel# !n !ur %er' b!nes( B! t! the c!untr',
he tells e, and describe it all #!r e )hen '!u "et bac&( He d!es n!t )ant t! see it #!r hisel#2 is
happier in t!)n( That is )h' '!u are beside e a"ain, ali%e t! the s)eet particularities !# the
island/s d!!, )ar !# )rist and &nee, an&le and elb!)( ( ( (
=!rn#ields #allin" a)a' #r! the thread !# the r!ad in dust' "arris!ns, leanin", "ra%id,
hea%' in the ear( $un& in the al!st subarine, a!n" the "ardens, the beauti#ul #arh!uses )ith
the beetle in the )!!d, churches )ith p!inted )ind!)s, ell!) stables( Tud!r hal#8tiberin",
scribbled )ith creeper2 pl!)land and arable in -aundiced 'ell!)s, !ld8br!)ns and purples,
spinnin" a)a' under '!ur #in"ers in "entle undulati!ns( N!, . a 9uiet and seri!us( .t is all laid !ut
li&e a pa"e in Bre"!r'/s diar'( $ee, #r! !ne end the pen be"ins t! bite, '!u turn up a l!n" #urr!)
!n the paper: a "reen #urr!)( The #in"ers tu" sl!)l' li&e a tea !# !6en( Behind the steel t!!th
"reen #i"ures are c!in" ali%e, stretchin" their ars, and l!!&in" ar!und( in this )a' e%er'thin"
)as created(
. a recallin" a"ain the ters !# !ur separati!n> the calendar l'in" there )ith the br!&en
bac&, !##erin" an in#init' !# s!&' e%enin"s( The !bli9ue )ishes and h!pes !# a li#etie "athered
t!"ether and spent in the space !# a #e) )ee&s( 4nd n!), it sees, . ha%e n! !re h!pes:!nl'
acceptance( . &eep ' !uth shut because ' -a) )!uld #all !## i# . tried t! spea&(
. a !ut )al&in" a"ain )ith =haberlain in the l!n" e%enin"s> c!rrid!r up!n st!ne c!rrid!r
!penin" up be#!re us until, #!r a breath !# air and a pers!nal "lipse !# trees, )e are #!rced t! turn
int! the par& "ates(/ Or else peerin" at the #aded p!rtraits !# the Eli;abethans in the "aller', )hile
' c!pani!n tal&ed %eheentl' ab!ut ,a)rence, and his predilu%ial adh!use( ?+Tut tut,
,a)rence* T!! %eheentl' e!an, ' dear( Tar9uin(+@
R!)in" !n the la&e in the ist2 !r in the h!t ni"hts )atchin" the shad!)s pass and repass
!n the )alls !# Hilda/s bedr!!, li"htin" the )ashstand, the shel%es !# bel#ries, the han"ed an in
the irr!r( The "lare !# headli"hts )itherin" her na&ed b!d'( Reachin" '!u at last !%er a ca#e table,
t!uchin" #in"ers, !ne/s heart bruised and s)!llen )ith despair( The l!n" stabbin" )a%es !# partin"
under the airplane li"ht( The "reen !uth cliin" a)a' up)ard thr!u"h ' )!rld li&e a t!rch,
burnin" a)a' the tissue, the b!ne and cartila"e, n!sin" a!n" the t)itterin" ner%es, annihilatin"
e( Hilda/s bi" t!e, le#t !%er #r! the e%enin"/s entertainent, p!sted ab!%e the bedrail t! r!t a)a'
thr!u"h eternit', li&e a trait!r/s head !n ,!nd!n Brid"e( Or <ere; )hiperin" !n the table a!n"
the students )hile the current ran li&e %ine"ar up his anus( ?Rabelais/ curse> 1a' the #ire !# $t(
4nth!n' #l' up th' #undaent(@ Bea&ers !# urine turnin" il&', thr!)in" up their )hite #ilaents(
The catheter buddin", bl!ss!in"( =haberlain/s drun&en #ace, da;ed )ith the 'th he is creatin"
ar!und hisel#, as&in" ipatientl' #!r the ne) b!!& !# re%elati!n(
4ll this has ade e a little s!ber, a little lunatic, t! be )ith '!u a"ain at last, shut up
t!"ether in this !%in" shell !# steel( There is an ed"e !n lau"hter, !r e%en the c!!n t!pics( .
a a little pr!ud !# ' c!ntr!l( $!!n . shall sa' s!ethin", and '!u )ill be"in t! tell e
e%er'thin"8the )h!le 9ua%erin" sa"a !# '!ur ri#e:the li#e )hich has -ust be"un( A!u )ill be"in
as&in" th!se insane 9uesti!ns, )here ha%e . been, )hat ha%e . d!ne, )hat ha%e . seen, )h' d! .
l!!& at '!u li&e that, )here )ill this all end* .# . a h!nest )ith '!u n!), i# . "i%e the ipressi!n
!# sincerit', it is because . )ant s!ethin"( . a )eepin" #!r ' "enerati!n( . a de%isin" in '
ind a le"end t! c!n%e' the adness )hich created us in cr!!&edness, in disl!cati!n, in t!rt( We
are a "enerati!n en)!bed( 4 stillbirth( ,i&e blind puppies )e are see&in" the )a' bac& t! the
)!b, )e are tr'in" t! )ipe a)a' the &n!)led"e !# !ur stillbirth, b' a ne), a !re "l!ri!us, !re
pristine e%ent( We ha%e been e6pelled #r! the uterus blind and arr!)less, and )e "r!%el bac&
t!)ard it in a h'sterical re"ressi!n !# panic( ,!!&, . a burr!)in" in '!ur lap )ith ' !uth, li&e
an anial( . a haerin" d!)n the d!!rs !# the )!b( $creain" t! "et bac& iracul!usl' i# .
c!uld, stu## 'sel# up t! '!ur "ullet #!r sa#et', an')here, an'h!)( This is at least h!nest( 3! n!t
accuse e( When . "! ad, and rip the cl!thes !## '!ur treblin" b!d', )hen . bite '!ur nipples
and "r!an, it is this e6piat!r' hal#8death . a c!nsuatin"( .t is s! necessar' and s! p!i"nant t!
#uc& '!u ,i&e that, )hen '!u are li&e a tubled #eatherbed2 )hen '!ur !uth is cla' )ith
stars, and '!ur s!#t cunt breathin" its %el%et, us&' p!llen !%er the earth( Then e%en the trees, the
hills, the t!)ns, see thr!)n int! s!#t, per#ectl' de#ined #!cus #!r e( . a abs!l%ed( . ha%e
thr!)n up a supp!rt trench> a )all !# the )!b stands bet)een e and the )!rld( ,et the pr!be,
let the pr!be( ,et the s!und the )alls !# the bell', let the s)itch a searchli"ht !n the %a"ina, .
a secure( 4ll ' sa%a"er', all ' "ust, has been thr!)n d!)n in a little parcel !# seed, eptied
int! this 'a)nin" thr!at !# sil&( N!) . ha%e rec!%ered ' c!ntr!l, . a aster#ul as a banta, . a
cruel( . a the !nster '!u t!ld e ab!ut( Ver' )ell( Turn '!ur head a)a'( . stand a!n" the
trees in ' shirt, and s!&e( . abh!r '!u because '!u d! n!t understand ' )ea&ness, th!u"h '!u
see its s'pt!( Then '!u )ill turn )ith th!se stupid, unc!prehendin" e'es, and sa' )h' did .
d! this, )hat ade e d! that, etc( A!ur !uth han"in" !pen !n its hin"es, '!ur #ace shinin" )ith
s)eat and spittle and tears( . sha&e '!u !## aster#ull', dis"usted b' ' l!%e #!r '!u( . a hun"r' .
tell '!u( Aes, )hen . act in this heartless )a' it is because . )ant t! a&e use !# '!u:!r because it
is teatie( =h!!se #!r '!ursel#( Aes, i# . ha%e n!t "i%en '!u s'philis it is a iracle( in the car .
suddenl' catch si"ht !# that "e!l!"ical haer( A!u br!u"ht it )ith '!u t! d! s!e #ield )!r&* .
a lau"hin" n!) as i# ' ind )!uld snap( The )h!le c!untr' is )aitin" t! be tapped )ith it,
s!unded #!r depths7 Field)!r&7 1' hu!r is rest!red iediatel', . a "uiltless, #ree, the best !#
#riends( 4nd this pu;;les '!u( A!u cann!t a&e it !ut( There is n!t an at!ic trace !# the !nster
in e:n!t a trace( A!u tr' t! h!ld !ut, be se%ere, austere, reser%ed, sul&', but . a in#ectin" '!u, .
a pereatin" '!u( . lean d!)n !%er '!u, and in a breath . #ill e%er' arter' in '!ur b!d' )ith
psals( We are sha&en )ith a #it !# h'sterical )eepin"( The car )!bbles #r! side t! side( The
c!untr' s)in"s up and d!)n a!n" '!ur breasts )ith a"ni#icent laentati!n( We are s! happ'
that tears are runnin" d!)n !ur #aces( A!u are "i%en utterl' n!), captured and tr!dden and
subissi%e, and i# ' hands )!uld st!p treblin" . )!uld li"ht '!u a ci"arette, . )!uld tal&
s!berl'2 . )!uld han" !n '!ur !uth li&e a br!&en -a)b!ne( ( ( ( What a thin b!rder bet)een l!%e
and urder7
We slide !## the arterial b' Banbur', and d!)n the "ra%el lanes, in#initel' serpentine and
bup'( The a%enue !# chestnuts hides the !ld ill( 4 Hunchbac& brid"e in red st!ne( ,!llin" !%er,
as the sprin"s t!ss n!iselessl', )e can hear the clean thupin" !# the ill)heel, sin&in" t! a bass
hubbub, and then "!ne, s)itched !##, snu##ed( We d! n!t spea& an' !re e6cept b' the lan"ua"e !#
acti!n( The hed"es are ali%e )ith insects, and %isible dra#ts !# h!ne'suc&le(
The car bec!es all !# a sudden a "auche relic !# an!ther )!rld( 4 pre"lacial !nstr!sit'
)ith its s)eat' stin& !# petr!l, and h!t in-ecti!ns !# !il !n air s! pure( We ditch it in a "ra%el pit and
run !ut t!"ether, hand in hand, sp!ntane!usl', d!)n the sl!pes past the 3u&e !# =uberland( Aes,
d!)nhill in a &ind !# hectic n'ph!leps', the "rass snappin" at !ur an&les, the cl!uds dea#enin" us
and the distant cathedral spire s)iin" up as i# t! ipale us( The se%en )inds drued )hile )e
)ere c!in"( N!) the' are silent( Our ears are alert, t)isted int! little helices !# attenti!n, but the
%alle' !##ers n! s!und( .t lies there li&e a t!'(
We are trans#i"ured, burst !pen and relie%ed( We ha%e penetrated the !utp!st and entered
int! the n!%elt' !# Tar9uin/s %i%id death( .t is hard t! belie%e, s! . d! n!t enti!n it( .# '!u can
understand the #able that this c!untr' is creatin" ar!und us )ith!ut dra)in" !n #alse sentient, '!u
are t! be c!n"ratulated( F!r )e ha%e bec!e suddenl' heraldic here, )here the sunshine pla's li&e
au"ust li!ns and the ri%er rides li&e a clean c!llar a!n" the par&lands( 4 hectic p!st8e6istence,
sa', in the ballet !# c!untr'side, a!n" the Be!r"ian h!uses )eathered t! bl!!d, '!pic peac!c&s,
diri"ible naper' !# #l!ccus( .t is )hen . thin& !# )hat the result )as that . a dis"usted b' the
ener"' )e spent, the passi!n, the tears:t! pr!duce this usic, )hich he pla's t! us !ne )inter
e%enin"( Tar9uin thr!)in" hisel# int! an interestin" attitude, h!ldin" the si"n anual !# death in
his #in"ers(
T! En"land sh!uld ha%e been an abstract !# all the h!urs )e spent t!"ether in ele"'( in a
dec!rated )!rld, c!n#used b' banalit', b' tears and recriinati!ns, the' sh!uld still put #!rth an
ia"e in the usic> as #aded ph!t!s, !r pressed lea%es in a b!!&, can surprise b' their e%!cati!ns(
That ni"ht, huddled b' the #ire, listenin" t! the t!ne p!e, its el!dic s9uirts, its lapses int!
path!s, . reali;ed that he had n!t ana"ed t! translate his le"end !# death( The death under the
shield had bec!e the death !# a Wa"nerian s)an> a r!antic c!n#ecti!n:the !ne thin" he )as
tr'in" n!t t! d!( The pian! )as #ull !# "al%anic ballerinas, #allin" in splashes !# #lu##' e6tincti!n
ar!und hi( The s)an )ith the "!iter sin"in" Wa"ner, its arse &eepin" tie, its !uth #ull !#
t!!thpaste( But the real:death i# '!u li&e ?these abstracti!ns b!re e@, the d!! )hich he sa)
settlin" d!)n !%er En"land, )hich )e selled !ut and rep!rted true #!r hi:that he has issed( .
supp!se he )ill:ne%er be able t! create it, because he is t!! uch a part !# that declensi!n
hisel#( 4nd dead en tell n! tales( But )hen . see the aternal, the r!u"h sla" l'in" read' t!
hand, the e6pl!ded c!p!nents !# a )!rld "athered read' #!r the artist:then . a ashaed( .#
there )ere n!t !ther thin"s t! be d!ne, . )!uld tr' 'sel#( $heerl' punctili!, as it )ere, dedicated
t! a rape under a cherr' tree and the sell !# sper2 and that inc!prehensi!n in '!ur e'es( 1a"ic,
'!u sa', it )as a"ical* The past is al)a's a"ical( $t!re e the ia"es in a %el%et cas&et a!n"
the letters )ith ribb!n r!und the( .# . be"an )!uld '!u h!ld the buc&et under ' head #!r the
%!it !# En"lishr': the ia"es*
When the children are silent . sit and br!!d !%er the crude a"a )hich )e )asted !n
Tar9uin( The anu#acture !# death, i# '!u please, )ith a #e) chr!atic runs and tre!rs( .# . c!uld
)rite . )!uld "ather a !uth#ul !# b!ne8dr' #iddles harsh as scrannel, and !ut !# their !n!t!n!us
al"ebra c!nstruct a thee( 4 dr' c!ntrapuntal raspin" !# arsh t!ads( N!thin" sh!uld escape,
n!thin"( E%er' )rin&le !# the !t!r c!rte6 translated int! this )ithered, picric, asp8dr' #iddlin"2
e%er' c!n%!luti!n !# the brain #ibr!us )ith usic( ( ( (
?The Friar' )here the 1iddle 4"es ch!ps )!!d( 4n iense an, bearded t! the na%el,
)ith lau"hter li&e the n!rth )ind, and hands !# h!rn( B!nes )hich anipulate the creased #lesh
)ith di##icult', as i# in "l!%es( The #!lded e##i"ies in the cr'pt a!n" "arnished #l!!rs and ancient
b!nes, )eepin" and s)eatin" bet)een c!ld )alls li&e paral'tics a"!ni;ed #!r !%eent( 0esu, 0esu,
in the rich h'n, cra)lin" up the )alls, puttin" in%isible rin"s r!und the pillars, until the d!le#ul
arches resp!nd, in diinishin" p!l'ph!n', +0esu, 0esu,+ and the ch!ir is sha&en )ith s!bs:
blanched al!nds:and the candles "! !ut, and the Thin" )al&s(
.n the charnel h!use lanterns searin" chr!e al!n" the )alls, )here the dance !# death
t)itches en b' the an&les, !r an in%isible hand shuts !## the dra#ts !# air t! their lun"s( The
1iddle 4"es h!ld his lantern #!r us t! see2 an iperturbable N!ah, secure in his 4r& !# sal%ati!n(
His %!ice can lau"h in this place )ith!ut #icti!n, and the n!rth )ind bl!)s in and !ut !# his
n!strils( Here is en!u"h atter t! asseble a hundred p!ets, a hundred th!usand cabinet inisters,
a tithe !# )h!res, a s)ath !# pips, a be%' !# ladies, a c!n"re"ati!n !# pl!%ers, an e6altin" !# lar&s,
a true8l!%e !# turtles, a char !# "!ld#inches, a r!ut !# ni"hts, a pride !# li!ns, a state !# princes, a
char"e !# curates, a prudence !# %icars, a super#luit' !# nuns( When the "ates are l!c&ed at ni"ht,
and the Friar' sleeps, the #i"ure steps d!)n !## the )alls and be"ins t! asseble the, nuberless
b!dies, #alse ars, #alse le"s, )r!n" -a) and bac&b!ne ?sha&in" the serpents #r! the@( ( ( ( But
)hat atter* . ia"ine al)a's $chiller/s beauti#ul teeth, "rinnin" at the lanterns, his head turned
this )a' and that in the #irst !# #riends( 4 %entril!9uist idi!c', but n! #ard !n the taut b!nes !# the
chee&(
.n the Friar' )e drin& %aledict!r' ales, thin but "!!d, and sa' "!!d8b' all r!und( 4 "reat air
!# tran9uillit' ab!ut the p!inted buildin"s, printin" !n hea%en2 N!ah luberin" at ' side )ith the
&e's( Outside in the r!ad the car )aits(@
The three !# us are hunched in the #r!nt seat !# the car t!"ether, and ,!b! is spea&in"
suddenl', )ith a &ind !# panic, ab!ut death, and )!en( H!) he c!uld ne%er arr'( When he )as
at sch!!l hist!r' #ri"htened hi, he c!uldn/t thin& !r spea&( 4nd )hen his sister died he )ent
runnin" d!)n the r!ad t! 0uanita, and #ell !n the bed, treblin", until she put her hand !n hi, and
dre) the panic !ut !# hi( The' )ere b!th treblin" as the' cae in the aura !# death, the p!siti%e
a##licti!n !# stillness( The t)in pins !# the headli"hts s)irlin" a)a' t!)ard ,!nd!n2 and )e three,
hunched !%er the en"ine li&e )itches !%er a caldr!n, )hile the hills retreated in the distance, and
the r!ad )as bitten int! sl!pes and cre%ices( Ne) pairs !# li"hts cae !ut !# n!thin" t! eet us and
all the )hile he tal&ed superstiti!usl' !# <!nce de ,e!n, l'in" d!)n there in s!e c!ral "r!t, )ith
sea slu"s in his e'e s!c&ets, and his ar!r "na)ed b' )ater2 and the ne) )!rld !penin" #r! his
na%el li&e a "ash in the )!b !# huanit'( 4ll the salt in the 3ead $ea c!uld n!t )eep it a)a', !r
recall the enterprise )hich had caused it2 and in s!e )a' all this:his ideas !# the <aci#ic #allin"
a)a' a!n" the sands and ar!r and pi&es and burnt sienna rudd!c&s2 and a s&elet!n !# <!nce de
,e!n, cl!thed in )ater, #lesh dispersed, his s&ull a birdca"e #!r herit crabs:all this, . sa', seeed
t! ha%e s!e relati!n t! the charnel h!use )ith its heaps !# pu;;led b!nes l'in" in -i"sa)s all
ar!und( Wh', . cann!t tell( But all deaths )ere ade real b' that %isit !# !urs( .ts sc!pe included
e%er' e6aple !# the huan achine/s ceasin"( Where he sa) <!nce de ,e!n, . c!uld see th!se
illi!ns !# !thers, the pu;;led apeen pr!ddin" #lesh, !r "runtin" under e!rial "ranite( The
1editerranean deep8)ater burstin" )ith the b!nes !# seaen and #isheren( Bubbles in streaers
easin" #r! the thr!ats !# Bree&s( The c!ntinents risin" at the tap !# ' c!pani!n/s haer,
!bedient as elephants, t! crush d!)n the dri#tin" sl!sh !# b!dies int! a c!n%enient pulp( 4ll this
%ast ener"' han"s behind his le"endar' %!ice2 li&e s!e iense paper ill suc&in" in re#use, !ld
strips !# ra" and street #l!tsa, the planet s!#tens us all int! scur#, ashes and #lattens and "!u"es
the un#eelin" %essels int! c!n%enience, and then #r! the atri6 pr!duces and creates an endless
r!ll !# t!ilet paper, c!up!ns, p!ppies, d!ilies, cart!ns, cell!phane( +Wh' d! )e )ant t! li%e*+ he
as&s ner%!usl'( He is thin&in" !# the a"e . can see> the re#use "!in" int! ill and bein" c!n%erted
int! the t)entieth8centur' s'b!l !# death( .t is useless( 3eath ta&es us !ne b' !ne( What d! )e
lea%e #!r '!ur children, etc* When 0uanita had her #irst child she )as trans#i"ured, s)!llen )ith
deli"ht and an"uish( $he becae li&e an anial( $he )!uldn/t sell hersel# t! an'!ne( +.t bel!n"s t!
hi, see* E%er'thin" ./%e "!t bel!n"s t! hi( 1' 0uan( .# '!u had arried e and the child )as
'!urs . )!uld share hi )ith '!u(+ He tells e this )ith tra"ic s!rr!)( He )!uld han" ar!und her
l!d"in"( .# he c!uld be al!ne )ith her he )!uld tr' t! #eel her breasts, and she )!uld sha&e hi !##
)ith sa%a"er' and dis"ust( The child7El h!bre 9ue ha hech! est! etc( etc( $!eties in the ni"ht
he "ets her scent a"ain, and he c!uld &ill hisel#( . a reinded !# 1arne' in the upper r!!,
repeatin" !%er and !%er a"ain, in that stran"led du&e/s %!ice> esta h!' as en#era, !r s!e such
!racular "l'ph, the eanin" !# )hich . l!n" t! &n!)( Or Eustace s9uee;in" !ut his sp!ts in the
irr!r be#!re "!in" h!e t! lunch( .# he d!esn/t d! it, he sa's, his )i#e )ill d! it #!r hi( The "lass
is c!%ered )ith little spurts !# pus )hich harden, and )hich he )ill scrape !## )ith his #in"ernail
)hen the %isibilit' "ets ipaired b' the( 4ll this is i6ed in the ia"e !# the paper ill, the
planet &illin" us, and reincarnatin" us in pulp and discards( 4la!rt, ala!rt(
But e%en <!nce de ,e!n #ades )hen, that e%enin", )e three )ear' tra%elers creep int! the
cr!)ded 4bbe' pe)s, )ear' )ith the e6pl!rati!n !# !ursel%es:the !ld )!rld !# the sel#:and
stand, !ur #aces turned !ne )a', li&e blind thin"s, under the )ild c!nc!rd !# usic pla'in" al!n"
the slats !# the !r"an pipes( 4nd #r! the pulpit the derisi!n !# a sin"le %!ice, plup and r!und
)ith practice, int!nin", #!re%er int!nin", until !ur s!uls are sic& and be"in t! reel under the sheer
pressure !# p!p( ,i"ht, hi"h up there, )here the slender pillars buttress !ne an!ther, #!ssili;ed
s)ans, #allin" in diaper and arc and #l!ss> n!) crisscr!ss, n!) lateral, n!) sha#ted, c!iled, pendent,
leanin"> O 0esu, 0esu, en!u"h t! a&e the cr'pt s)eat and the autun cin9ue#!ils #lutter a!n" the
"ra%es( Our s)eet )hite ch!ir han"in" t! each n!te li&e s'nchr!ni;ed c!rpses in a "all!)s dance(
Brea&in" r!llers !# s!und, crushed li&e per#ue acr!ss the p!!r shabb' thin"s )hich creep in here
li&e rats, t! snap and ch!&e !n the p!is!ned bait( The c!uni!n b!)l a)ash )ith a red sea !#
bacteria #r! !uth t! !uth sl!ppin" disall'2 the )a#er stic&in" li&e "elatin t! the r!!# !# the
!uth( 4nd ab!%e all this n!ise, ab!%e the n!ise #r! ra#ter t! batli&e ra#ter, #r! bea t! b!lt t!
nut t! bea t! b!lt t! nut t! bea, the r!ar !# the ch!rale2 until the s'pathetic etal )hines al!n"
the pulpit, and the )h!le catac!b tilts, stru""lin", s)arin" )ith !ur cleent s!uls, sic& #!r
sanctuar', )ith a +0esu, 0esu+ d!)n)ard int! the b!tt!less basin )here the )hite Thin" )ashes
its #eet a!n" the lilies:and the p!nti#ical cataites l!ur, and set up a )hi;;in" li&e "nats( ( ( (
The ne"ress is clutchin" ' hand, terri#ied b' these barbarities, li&e a child( The li"ht !# the
cr!ss is shinin" !n ,!b!, in his e'es, !n his #!rehead, li&e a brand( E%er')here )e are surr!unded
b' insects in )hite( 4nsel is standin" be#!re the #ace !# the ,!rd in his dancin" #i"hter/s stance,
his "reat "!lls )!r&in" li&e pist!ns, his -a) li&e a ha, his e'es pure shrapnel in their blac& !rbits,
4nsel clean !# the clap and the drin&, #i"htin" the "!!d #i"ht )ith all his i"ht a!n" the
s!utanes( .t d!esn/t atter, he is tellin" e in a )hisper( .t d!esn/t atter( 0uanita burned up her
su"ar t!! #ast, her teeth #ell !ut, her e'es s)elled up( He is terri#ied the ne"ress )ill understand
)hat )e are sa'in", but she is in a #ri"ht at the H!st2 her ears are laid bac& li&e a )hippet/s( . a
a#raid at an' !ent she )ill strea& #!r the blac& d!!rs( He )!uld ne%er ha%e arried her an')a',
s! it didn/t atter( in the nae !# the #ather, s!n, and H!l' Bh!st( Aes, it )as !nl' accident the'
et( He ne%er reall' cared a dan #!r her, as her( .t )as !nl' that she )as there at e%er' crisis in
li#e, s! that a#ter a )hile it seeed that he )!uld ne%er be #ree !# her( One is ne%er #ree !# !ne/s
past( 4en( $he had bec!e, b' identi#icati!n, e%er'thin", ,ia, the dead sister, the panic, the
"ulls2 and n!) a!n" the n!rthern ruins he turned bac& t! her, re"ressed, )hipered #!r her li&e a
child( 4en(
4#ter)ard, )hen )e "! !ut thr!u"h the "reat d!!rs, it is as i# the ni"ht had burst !pen in a
dar& #ruit, s! iense and pith' it is, s! silent and unsha&en( . &n!) then there are n! 9uesti!ns t!
be as&ed an' !re, there are n! 9ueries t! be put t! the H!st( E%er'thin" is )ashed clean in the
strea !# #aces #r! the "!ld d!!rs, the beards, the sacristan, the %er"er, the )h!re, the #ill!c&, the
slut, the "entr'8!rt, and the lus&( The li"ht is lea&in" !ut a!n" the blue "ra%est!nes( $acred t!
the e!r' !# ,a)rence ,uci#er )h! died this da' !# 4u"ust( O##er a candle !r a spri" !# h!ll'( .
a a "narled bac&b!ne !# st!ne, spea&in" in an' hectic lichens, a re!te p!)der in a sheath !#
tepid lead, !ut !# the reach !# iabs !r #u"ue( The )h!le 9uesti!n, in essence, is acceptance, the
depers!nali;ati!n !# sel#, !# the s!ciet' )hich !ne has abs!rbed( .t is n!t !nl' a 9uesti!n !# art, but
a 9uesti!n !# li#e( A!u are altered, a##ected, transuted b' this !rientati!n( Whate%er )as '!ur
antecedent, '!ur hist!r', that n! l!n"er atters t! e( . can n! l!n"er )hiper )hen '!ur head
"!es d!)n li&e a haer !n the )hite pill!)( The stran"e accidents !# b!ne, the s'nta6 !# uscle
and cartila"e, e6ist in a relati!n t! s!ethin" that is n! l!n"er hist!r' !r ideals(
+,ie d!)n and die, #rail helet !# dust,+ . )r!te !nce2 and d'in" that )a' '!u )ere $apph!,
'!u )ere Beatrice, curlin" up li&e a petal in an E"'ptian e%enin"( 3eath a!n" t!bs( 3eath li&e
the salt )hips and disc!rd !# the )inter sea !n the #irst da' !# desire( Aes, . a seri!us( What '!u
are n!) is a l!)est c!!n den!inat!r, a"!ni;in"l' held #!r an h!ur in ' %ise !# b!ne and
bl!!d( Belie%e e, . ha%e ta&en n!thin" #r! '!u2 !r rather, b' ta&in" e%er'thin" #r! '!u:
e%er'thin" irrele%ant, c!n#usin", hist!rical:. ha%e ade such an unbearable p!i"nance !# '!u,
that -ust t! tr' and utter it )!uld send e ad( That part !# )hat reains, )hen cupid/s l!a%es and
#ishes are "athered up, . &eep al)a's inside e, li&e a reser%e !# stren"th( . need it in li#e( . cann!t
destr!' it b' )ritin" it:and destr!'in" 'sel# in a pattern !# c!nta"i!us s'llables #!r the dull
)!rld( Ne%er, . pr!ise '!u, ne%er( That uch bel!n"s t! li#e( 4en(
When the drus be"in, and the !pa9ue li"htnin" trebles in the ni"ht s&', . bec!e a child
a"ain, in re%isited hist!r'( . per se ., ,a)rence ,uci#er( in ' dreas there is !nl' !ne p!ssible
pr!ta"!nist( . a !%in" acr!ss the scener' !# the )!rld !n n!iseless cast!rs2 ' hand is held, but
b' )h! . cann!t tell( O per se O( 4!n" the s!#t #erentin" pastel "reen !# the Hiala'as Father
<aul )hittles his sailin" b!at #r! stups !# de!dar2 the hills breathe sn!) !%er the deserted
pla'"r!unds, a Tibetan panic !# )inter( The passes "l!) )ith eternal ale%!lence, and the ri%er
!%es in s!#t pac&s !# ice, !r curdles )ith "reen %el%et( On the hi"hr!ad the laas pass, t)istin"
their tin )heels in their pa)s, ururin"2 in the s!#t #erns !# the hills the pu" ar&s !# the bear(
On the treble sl!pes !# the #!!thills the sn!) is "atherin" in cl!uds, the #irst d!ur cara%ans are
)heelin" up the plain t! eet the( The du##le8clad Bhutias huddle in their sheeps&ins and "r!%el
a!n" the c!l!red cards !n the #la" steps !# the churches( . a al!ne )eepin" !%er E%erest(
$!e)here !%er there, eternall' %eiled in blue, the #!rbidden =it' is l'in", "l!)in" li&e a st!ne(
,hasa )here the "reat h!rns are bra'in" and the de%ils -up !ne b' !ne #r! the cli##s( . stretch
!ut ' ars and #all in the sn!)2 the cl!uds "ather, the a%alanche )al&s d!)n the hills in a t!"a,
thr!)in" petulant b!ulders( The )ind !pens up %!lle' up!n %!lle' !# ept' )!rds )hich dri%e
past e li&e re#use( 4ll that is l!c&ed up in a drea !# ,hasa, is dri%en d!)n int! the ri%er a!n"
the ice and the serpents( N!thin" reains #!r e but the dea#8ute s'llables !# a t!n"ue . ha%e 'et
t! learn( The priests are c!nductin" the thunder !# the litanies( in the <alace the' are clic&in" their
beads and silin" the canine sile( The sl!pes are )rithin" )ith #la"s2 and the c!l!red paper
h!rses "all!p !%er the precipice, clipped )ith li#e8"i%in" sciss!rs, s)ept a)a' as s!!n as created(
The late %!'a"er "athers his cl!a& in his arpits and b!res his little pit !# air int! the hurricane(
The antel!pes "!ssip and 9ui%er, their e'es !lten, their #lan&s sti##ened t! the )ind2 and the an
dr!ps slabs !# butter in his teacup and s)all!)s a pill !# sacred dun"(
. a standin" at the )ind!) )atchin" the st!r "ather( The li"htnin" is s! s!!th and
treblin" that it li"hts the r!! )ith a 9ueer sustained "lint !# "reen, as it i"ht be an a9uariu,
and . standin" here, !n the carpet !# )eeds and sli' r!c&, )aitin"( . a thin&in" !# Tar9uin/s
usic, and reali;in" that !# all this #ear and tur!il it has rec!rded n!thin"( Fr! usic )e
deand !ur )h!le li#e i# it is t! !%e us> e%er' !dulati!n !# drea, despair, l!%e, 'earnin"( .t is
the past and the #uture, the #irst rapture !# li%in", and that #uture "!in" d!)n int! the t!b2 the
descent !# .shtar a!n" the s!iled r!ses2 the entr' int! the chaber !# the c!s!s2 the #irst &ic&in"
in the )!b, and the last ele"ant spas !# cessati!n, lull, status(
T!!rr!) the earth )ill be drenched, e6hausted, and b!rn a"ain #r! this !r"as !# )ater>
s!ppin" and -uic' t! the hilt, the r!!ts !# the bush( The penis buried and shri%en, slidin" bac& int!
hibernati!n, curlin" and s!n!lent as a tapr!!t( The 9uic&ened )alls !# the cunt lined )ith 9uilts
and ebrances !# "u, resin, #!6"l!%es, pu##balls, )heat( We )ill "! !ut t!"ether !n the
steain" arable a!n" the cattle, b' the ri%er, and re8create the le"end !# the &in"cup )hich
Tar9uin issed( .t )ill n!t be di##icult it )e practice huilit'> huilit' #r! the r!!ts up)ard, all8
de%astatin", all8de%!urin", !nipassi!nate( .# )e ha%e )!unds )e )ill sh!) the(
This !rnin" it is =haucer( We are #!ll!)in" the pil"ris/ )a' s!uth)ard( .t is in !rder t!
re#resh the ne"ress that . a c!pelled t! c!e !ut here )ith '!u, t! taste a"ain the prehist!ric
)!rld, and re#lect !n its 9uietus2 because in that stale r!!, !%erl!!&ed b' the charts, b' the bund
)all, . ha%e been ipre"nated )ith the data !# an ep!ch )hich is the sub-ect !# all c!nteplati%e
d!pe( . a sti#led in it( . ean the %ellu and "r!und in& a"es, the patient, beauti#ul )!r&, s!
c!plete and #!ral )ithin the liits it set itsel#( The #irst presses "r!anin" !ut their rich blac& !re
!# literature( =a6t!n, 1all!r':the siple cunnin" !# )id!)ed children( Wir' paper sellin" !#
candlestic&s and "lue( =h!irs )rithin" )ith "!blins alle"ed sacerd!tal( Tre#!il, cin9ue#!il, and the
)h!le b!d' !# perpendicular "!thic "ra' in the spires aspirin"( 1inted c!ins and hu!r!us rapes(
.nlaid hilts and beauti#ul )!en )ith the "uata "r!)in" in the( The Breen Kin" tied b' the
derelict bar"e t! his !ther/s breasts( Tertiar' n!ses car%ed !n the lau"hin" #aces !# the c!urt
hunchbac&( The s)ans #l'in" bac&)ard and the bre%iaries pullulatin" in heraldic anials( 4ll this
beauti#ul stu## circulatin" in the %eins !# the ne"ress, p!is!nin" her( .t is in !rder t! destr!' hist!r'
that . a c!pelled t! e6perience it, all !# it( But behind it all there is the ia"e !# the paper ill,
the "reat d!es !# pulp, endless sp!!ls !# arr!) and "arba"e and cl!th, )!%en int! dail' papers,
sanitar' t!)els, t!ilet )a#ers, bl!ttin" paper( . a a"ain !n the hi"h t!)er a!n" the sea "ulls,
shapin" the decisi!n, )hen . )atch this beauti#ul stu## p!ured a)a' d!)n the se)ers( $!e)here
the line has been br!&en, and )e are )anderin" a!n" the sta""erin" nebulae, in a re"i!n !#
c!nsci!usness s! c!ld, s! rare#ied, that )e )ant t! screa al!ud #!r )arth( 4 re"i!n )here the
healin" 'th!l!"ies are s! etheri;ed that the' #l!at a)a' elusi%e, be#!re the ind can "rasp the
and burn the #!r #uel( This is the pr!per N! 1an/s ,and, craed )ith plent' and radiant steel,
)here the heart screas #!r pit', )here the %iscera c!ntract at the sell !# !ne', ultitude,
asturbati!n2 )here the )ar th!u"hts, the #eelin"s, the deli"hts are stunted #r! the )!b,
%ap!ri;ed and snu##ed( Epheera7 Bet)een B!l"!tha and the slau"hterh!use )here da'8l!n" !ne
hears n!thin" but the h!ll!) screain" !# pi"s( There is n! 9uietus2 n! b!d&in, da""er, bullet can
e%er a 9uietus a&e( The dance is !n, eternall' !n(
That e%enin" . )as s! certain !# the a"e )hich lies be'!nd all this, the ne) diensi!n, the
n!%el bein":a di "n!sis( . ha%e seen the t!nsures !%in" al!n" the leads at =hristchurch )here
the $a6!n ri%er dra"s its sherds !# ice all )inter, lae !# #!!t2 ha%e seen in peacetie a r!s' 4bb!t
c!e d!)n in the dus& t! #ish the "lacid )ater #!r tr!ut, )hile the li"hts -up !ne b' !ne t! the tall
)ind!)s(
,ast ni"ht 1!r"an )as sittin" b' the b!iler tellin" e ab!ut the as'lu in )hich he )as an
attendant( 0uanita )as pr!)lin" the c!rrid!rs, her hair in her e'es, a ch!pper "leain" in her hands(
,!b! )as )hiperin" s!#tl' as he s!&ed( The' had arran"ed a rende;%!us b' the #!!thills( .t )as
the last attept !n his part t! brin" her r!und( He )!uld rape her there and #ill her !uth )ith
sand( He )as n!t 9uite sure )hether he )!uld &ill her !r n!t( But )hen she )as there, )ith the
child !n her ar, l!us', hun"r', red8e'ed and s!re )ith pric&l' heat, the )h!le #!cus !# n!ralit'
)as rest!red in a sec!nd( He &ne) then that his )ea&ness )as t!! "reat e%er t! a&e hi a
urderer( He t!!& the child #r! her and buried it up t! its )aist in )ar shal' sand, s! that it
c!uld n!t escape( 4nd she sa) at !nce )hat )as c!in", and be"an runnin" a)a' #r! hi,
"r!anin" as i# she )ere stabbed( He )as "ainin" !n her, urder!usl' e6ultant, al!st in reach:
)hen suddenl' she thre) hersel# d!)n li&e an anial, and "atherin" a hand#ul !# sand, sc!!ped it
#ull under the shabb' dress2 #illed her cunt up )ith it, and la' e6hausted, pantin", utterl' )ith!ut a
)!rd, )aitin" #!r the tussle, li&e a bird( He )as s! unner%ed b' this "esture that he be"an t! )eep,
t! bluster, t! pr!test, t! sh!ut( 4nd all the )hile she la' there sa'in" n!thin"( He e6hausted e%er'
"esture, e%er' threat, e%er' shade !# #eelin" bet)een adness and death, and still she did n!t
ans)er( in the end he had t! "! a)a' and lea%e her l'in" thereas she )as, "athered up li&e a ball,
)aitin"( $peechless( Terri#ied( Vict!ri!us(
What is hist!r' beside this unr!llin" realit' )hich ,!b! !##ers t! e )ith e!ti!n and
ci"arettes* The pr!"ress thr!u"h the "uts !# a be""ar( When . a c!%erin" '!u ' craniu is
pac&ed )ith ia"es, the )h!le b!d' !# the l!st )!rlds is bein" p!ured d!)n that narr!) slip)a' t!
the abs!lute2 hist!r' is launched suddenl' #!r e li&e a dreadnau"ht, the 'th, the pr!phec', the
"l!;e, the "l'ph, the haunted he6aeter, the dact'l, the past!ral( The )!rld is cr'in" #!r it t! be
rest!red, but )e are !##erin" it !nl' a re"ressi!n:an escape !ut !# the "e!etrical rattrap )hich is
reall' !nl' tep!rar'( .t is n!t !nl' a 9uesti!n !# "!in" bac& t! a 'th( The 'th )ill c!e bac&
t! us( That is the ten!r !# this rain' !rnin"2 that is )hat it is tellin" e, a!n" its p!lished
c!p!nents !# t!)n and %alle' and #ar( in such !ents . can tell '!u #!r certain that this is the
brea&up, the catacl's, the dr!p curtain !n the )!rld( 4 ne) lan"ua"e, a ne) deit', a ne)
indul"ence ipend #r! hea%en( N!, the' are alread' slippin" !n us( F!rs are d'in", bec!in"
!bs!lete, #allin" aside( E%er'!ne sa%e the anti9uarian is a#raid( The an !# learnin" has bec!e a
cipher:epicene, neuter:)ith the e9uipent !# a b!!& re%ie)er( E%er'thin" is dri#tin" up in the
$ar"ass! !# pr!"ress, s)athed and sh!t )ith )eed, tan"led in the #ins !# #ish, bibles and la%at!r'
seats, turds and turbines, shuttlec!c&s and battled!res( in the 4bbe' the' are still ar&in" the
places in the h'nb!!&s, !bli%i!us !# the #act that t!!rr!) )e shall ha%e #!r"!tten h!) t! read2
in the h!spitals the #!rceps are snappin" at the sutures !# the child2 in the $unda' papers the "reat
en bec!e retr!in"ent, pissin" bac&)ard int! the !uth !# the public and tal&in" ab!ut the
shapel' subsistin" beaut' !# traditi!n( in ,!nd!n the' are dancin" r!und the Walp!le, the Faber
p!ets are ar&in" tie and usherin" in the illenniu )ith a series !# ele"ant s9uibs, the ,esbians
are !nani;in" )ith s9ueals !# buttered sper, and the n!ise !# the clea%er is l!st in the ner%!us
!r"as !# a illi!n )!en n!%elists( in R!e the papal nunci! ann!unces the use !# the #!untain
pen in such cases )here the penis )ill n!t )!r&( in =alcutta the blac& s)eep is )anderin" )ith
crubs in his e'es, t!uchin" the unt!uchable, and eatin" the uneatable( in the Bhett! the streets are
#ull !# -uice and the pa%eents slipper' )ith hadd!c&s/ e'es( in ,isb!n there are )!en as
ine6haustible as the .ndian Ocean, l'in" )ith their le"s apart, )atchin" the e6press hurtle t!)ard
the !n its etals( in .celand Eric The Red sets !## #!r the last tie )ith his car"! !# s&ins, )heat,
chessen, cider and p!rpentines( .t is all bein" )ashed up t!)ard a adness ne%er be#!re seen(
The heretics thesel%es are appalled, are buildin" thesel%es 4r&s #r! the #l!tsa !# the
ia"inati!n, and han"in" their %iscera !ut #!r sails2 the' are tr'in" t! escape, ch!!sin" )hat is
#ru"al rather than c!untenance the #erent here, )here We bubbles )ith the e##er%escent rhaps!dic
idi!c' !# s!da #r! the siph!n, and the c!ntinents #all a)a' bit b' bit, and the )ea&enin" 0esu 0esu
b!!s in the B!thic )hales:the s&irlin" !# 0!nahs shut !ut( Relentless, the )ater' na%el !# the
)!rld clais e%er'thin"( The $ar"ass! !# )eeds and creepers, )here the )ise, the children !# li"ht,
the p!!r in spirit, the aseptic intellects, the %ari!us, the rati!nal, can c!n"re"ate and put their brains
t!"ether in a strea !# at!s( N!t a nibus is "rud"ed, n!t a #uneral n!te( Onl' the sea suc&s in its
t!ll !# cider b!ttles, ci"ar butts, sand)iches, dail' papers, and iperial turds( 4nd the sn!re !# the
#aith#ul is as urder!us as the etr!n!e( ( ( (
.n the h!tel the !ld en are dressin" #!r the last supper( 1r( Nich!las is l'in" in the bath
lic&in" his )his&ers and pla'in" )ith hisel#, )hile his &eeper is turnin" !n the c!ld tap t! c!!l
hi !##( He )ill appear, sti##, sancti!ni!us, le"endar', in #aultless duds, )ith a carnati!n in his
lapel( His &eeper )ill #eed hi and "uard the !ld ladies #r! shae#ul rear&s( 4#ter)ard he )ill
sit in the l!un"e, upri"ht, starin" at the )all, as i# he )ere bein" r!)ed d!)n the $t'6, #i"htin"
!ti!nless capai"ns in his s&ull( When the p!stan &n!c&s and the s&ulls c!e clatterin"
thr!u"h the letter b!6 he )ill )a&e and be led, )hiperin", t! his r!!( T!ni"ht #!ll!)ed b'
t!!rr!), #!ll!)ed b' t!ni"ht( in !rder t! a%!id the de#initi%e date . ta&e re#u"e in b!!&s, in
ph!t!"raphs, in e!ries !# '!u(
N!thin" is t!pical e6cept this !n&e' h!use !# elderl' pe!ple, and the #antastic l!neliness
)hich tells e that . e6ist( . sit #!r )h!le da's in a %!it !# ia"es, re8creatin" e%er' "esture !#
'!urs, e%er' p!se, e%er' rear&( in the stale librar' . de%!ur !uth#uls !# paper )ith )!rds )ritten
!n it( $irius, the 3!" $tar, risin" !n the d!"da's2 the B!!& !# Kells, and the s!#t .rish !uths
shapin" the script, etc( Tar9uin dia"n!ses this alad' as #ear> +A!u are n!t as str!n" as e, '
dear( ,!!& at e( A!u )!uld thin& e #ra"ile, )!uld '!u n!t* . supp!rt the !sttreend!us
ps'chic crises )ith!ut brea&in"2 and here '!u are, 9uite str!n" and health', unable t! bear '!ur
cr!ss )ith!ut #i"htin" a"ainst it( Be a st!ic, laddie, be a st!ic(+ Well, B!d dan ' e'es, . a( 4t
an' rate . d! ' best( On Tuesda' . call !n Hilda in the late a#tern!!n, and #ind her sittin" at the
)ind!) a!n" the Vict!rian relics, tr'in" t! )rite )ith a cr!ssed nib( Be#!re her !n the des& lies a
printed ,ast Will and Testaent #!r( The dus& is #allin" and the in& is runnin" !ut( +,isten,
duc&',+ she sa's all !# a sudden, +'!u better run al!n" and ha%e a bl!!d test because . c!pped it at
last(+ . stand there l!!&in" int! her e'es in a #r!;en perple6it'( . a a)are all !# a sudden !# the
e##!rt she has ade, !# the iense patience that has dri%en her t! this des&( $he has "!t #i#t' 9uid
put a)a', she sa's, hence the )ill( $he )ants her sister in ,inc!ln t! ha%e it #!r her &idd'2 that is
the sister )h! turned her !ut !# d!!rs( //0ust in case,+ she sa's, eanin" e%er' )!rd, +it/s -ust in
case, see* But ./ health' #!r e a"e( N!t uch chance !# e p!ppin" !## -ust 'et(+ $he is n!t
a#raid, but nub( The in%isible crisis has s!#tened her up suddenl'( $he is %er' ild( $arc!a,
sarc!a ( ( ( the )!rd is #littin" thr!u"h ' head(
The ni"ht is h!t )ith dust( . can thin& !# n!thin" t! d!, n!)here t! "!( 4#ter an eternal )al&
a!n" the b!ne8bare streets . dr!p in t! =haberlain/s #lat( The d!"s -up up and lic& ' hands(
$he is al!ne, sittin" in the archair readin"( =haberlain has "!ne t! s!e usical #esti%al !r
!ther in the n!rth, )ill n!t be bac& until t!!rr!)( +. had a #eelin" '!u/d c!e,+ she sa's( We sit
t!"ether #!r a l!n" tie in the ust' little #lat )ith!ut spea&in"( $!ethin" is happenin"> !ut !# the
h!t suer inacti!n, the lethar"', s!e decisi!n is shapin" itsel# in us( . tr' n!t t! thin&( <resentl'
she s)itches !## the li"ht and turns !n the )ireless( The r!! is rin"in" )ith a s'ph!n'( . sit
there in the dar&, treblin", e6pectin" . d! n!t &n!) )hat( <itch dar&ness and the strin"s slain"
a)a' at s!e !bs!lete #i"ure( Then . put !ut ' ars and t!uch her( $he is standin" in #r!nt !# e
in the dar&, and as . t!uch her she t!pples s!#tl' t! the archair, breathin" sha&il'( The s&ull and
cr!ssb!nes "!es sl!)l' d!)n t! hal#8ast( +A!u )!n/t sa' an'thin", )ill '!u*+ she )hispers( +F!r
B!dsa&e, '!u )!n/t, )ill '!u*+ . pr!ise her #aith#ull', tr'in" the e##ects !# a sard!nic "rin !n the
dar&ness( . a #illed )ith a pr!#!und )eariness and dis"ust( . "! thr!u"h it, 'es, but )ith this
"na)in" iser' !# dis"ust( . d!n/t &n!) )h'( The )h!le r!! sells !# =haberlain( . a sti#led
in his us&( His b!!&s, his bed, his d!"s ( ( ( E%en )hen she is )hiperin" li&e a cra;' )!an in
the dar&ness . a s! a"itated that . #!rce ' hand !%er her !uth( Her breasts are r!c&in" )ith
tears( .t is a beauti#ul, satirical ballet )e are actin" t!"ether, li&e "!r"e!us t!ads2 the !ti%e is hate
in s!e !bscure )a'( 4#ter)ard . shut ' e'es and tr' t! #!r"et that she e6ists( . )ill n!t spea& t!
her, and this puts her in a ra"e( . supp!se it is c!#!rt and tenderness she )ants:)ell, . -ust
ha%en/t an'( N!t a scrap( +A!u/%e ade use !# e,+ she )hispers an"ril'( +B! !n then, )h' d!n/t
'!u "! a)a'* A!u/%e "!t )hat '!u )anted( B! a)a', "! a)a', lea%e e al!ne(+ $he be"ins
batterin" e )ith the pads !# her #ists until . #etch her a sharp slap !n the chee&( .t is s! ludicr!us
n!) that . )ant t! "i""le( $cu##lin" li&e this, tearin" the bed t! pieces( We lie #!r a l!n" tie in
silence, side b' side( The air is h!t and char"ed )ith )eariness( . a a##licted )ith the th!u"ht !#
=haberlain:this place is s! char"ed )ith his pers!nalit'( E%en she, )hate%er she d!es, sees t!
carr' his stap ab!ut !n her, as paper )ill retain the ar& !# print l!n" a#ter it is sti##ened int! ash(
The )ireless is pla'in" in the !ther r!!, the d!"s are )hiperin" s!#tl'( The' d! n!t &n!) )hat
t! a&e !# this situati!n, an' !re than )e d!( .# . put !ut ' ars and c!#!rt her it is
=haberlain . a pettin"> t! #uc& her is li&e an act !# s!d!' )ith hi( Finall' . can stand it n!
l!n"er( . "et up in the dar& and dress 9uietl'( $he d!es n!t !%e( . "! int! the !ther r!!, s)itch
!n the li"ht and turn !## the )ireless( Then hesitate( $hall . "! in and sa' "!!d8b'* . a s!
!%er)heled b' tenderness that . turn and !pen the d!!r( $he is l'in" there 9uite still, starin" )ith
"lass' e'es at the ceilin"( . be"in t! ap!l!"i;e, sittin" d!)n beside her !n the bed, but she d!es n!t
ans)er( .# . t!uch her #ace )ith ' #in"ers she turns aside( +B! !n,+ she sa's at last in a l!) %!ice(
+=lear !ut !# here(+
. sit there silentl', starin" at the #l!!r( . d! n!t )ant t! lea%e her li&e this, )ith!ut
s!ethin", s!e act !# #riendship( We are b!th c!nsued in this sl!) pereatin" hate !n the
suer ni"ht( The cars )hirl b' !n the asphalt !utside, the #irst streetlaps are bein" li"hted(
+,isten t! e,+ . sa'( +=!e !ut and ha%e dinner )ith e( ,et/s ha%e a p!st!rte !n this( ./ n!t
tr'in" t! hurt '!u, "enuinel'(+ $he turns her #ace t! e, and the li"ht stri&es it sharpl' #r! the
!uter r!!2 hard )hite electric "lare eltin" !%er her #eatures( Her e'es are sun& bac& int! her
#!rehead2 her s&in is pu##', her !uth dra)n up in disdain( . see she d!es n!t belie%e e( But there
is such iser' )ritten !n her e6pressi!ns that . repeat it !%er a"ain, !re "entl'( . #eel s!rr' #!r
her( ,!!&in" at her #ace li&e this is li&e l!!&in" at the !!n thr!u"h a telesc!pe #!r the #irst tie>
the craters, the li"ht pla'in" !n the c!ntinents, the dr' !ceans, the deserts( .# it )ere n!t #!r '
#eelin" !# tenderness . )!uld lea%e her and "! h!e( $! l!n" as . need n!t t!uch her ((( $he sa's> +.
l!athe '!u,+ )ith!ut an' real c!n%icti!n, but because she is still n!t sure )hether t! trust e !r n!t(
+There isn/t an' need,+ . tell her( +3ress n!), and let/s ha%e dinner(+
We lea%e the #lat t!"ether, the best !# #riends, and ta&e a bus n!rth)ard( 3inner t!"ether
d!es a "reat deal t!)ard puttin" us bac& int! !ur cust!ar' places( 4#ter)ard, str!llin" in the dar&
par& t!"ether a!n" the )h!res and the lanterns and the p!liceen, she sa's> +A!u &n!) . reall'
didn/t )ant t!( That/s )h' . hated '!u, d! '!u see* .t )as s!ethin" . had t! d!2 ./%e been #eelin"
s!rt !# dead these da's, #r! the hips up)ard( N!) ./ happ' a"ain( Than&s #!r n!t lea%in" e( .
sh!uld ha%e been iserable( N!) ./ "lad it )as '!u and n!t s!e!ne else(+
The balance rest!red, )e ta&e the bus h!e, hardl' spea&in", but c!#!rtable t!"ether, as i#
)e )ere !ld l!%ers( This is an ite> latterl' in a !ent !# )ea&ness it )as c!n#ided t! Tar9uin(
His aa;eent and deli"ht )ere hu"e( +=haberlain7+ he &ept repeatin", as i# he pers!nall' had
sc!red s!e iense triuph !%er hi( +1' B!d, and she bein" #uc&ed all the tie7$tupru in
!estis, ha ha, stupru in !estis(+ $tu##in" ch!c!lates int! his !uth, and sni""erin"(
4ll this is an e%asi!n !# the true disease, the disease )hich . tr' and dr!)n in b!!&s, in
bri"ht pictures( 4ll da' l!n" . pace the useus, inspectin" the relics !# !ur hist!r', all care#ull'
laid !ut and labeled in sch!larl' hands !n p!st cards( 4t ni"ht . editate !n the 9uantities !# pure
"!ld )hich )e h!use s! carelessl' in "lass cases, una)are that this sae putrid stu## is deca'in" in
!ur arteries( .s it p!ssible t! &eep the %italit' !# the centuries in a b!ttle, )ith a p!st card !n it t!
hint at an identit' l!n" since l!st* 1' !)n hist!r', ' present, is c!n#used b' the death )hich .
see "athered ar!und e, here a -a)b!ne, there a #eur, here a )eddin" rin", there a pic&a6( .
cann!t li%e because the dec!p!sin" b!dies !# ' ancest!rs d!" e at e%er' turn( The' are n!t
li%in" in their 'th, but dead, in#luencin" 'd'in", n!t ' li#e( That is )h' acti!n is s! erratic, s!
#ull !# e6trees, because the h'paethral uni%erses )hich sh!uld li%e in us t!da' are dead, and
behind "lass( .nstead !# n!urishin" us the' are the upires !# !ur de#eat, !ur decline and #all(
The circuit is c!plete( We ha%e put !ur 'ths in the cellar and ust start buildin" a"ain
)ith ne) ipleents, a ne) t!n"ue(
1!r"an )as tellin" e last ni"ht h!) he had s9uee;ed !ut the #laccid )!b )ith his
#in"ers and buried the etceteras in the 'ard( ,ittle <eter, the Tsarina/s dau"hter, had a head li&e a
el!n )ith the sic&, #ishli&e e'elids !# the icr!cephal!us idi!t( That )as the re"al idi!t )h! )as
!re !# an e6ile than she &ne)> n!t !nl' #r! Russia but #r! the )!rld( $he spent all da' )ith a
pencil )ritin" !n the )alls, the table, the #l!!r, c!pilin", as she said, a hist!r' !# her race( 4nd
)hat she didn/t &n!) ab!ut hist!r' )asn/t )!rth &n!)in"( $he c!uld e6plain )ith c!plete lucidit'
the diseases !# the N!ran bar!ns in the tapestr'( The arr!) had #allen in his e'e, and he )as
tu""in" at it, as8i# it )ere ebedded in a l!" !# )!!d( Har!ld, she eant( The )h!le sa"a )as
)ritten !n the #l!!r( $he stri&es e as a beauti#ul s'b!l !# !ur tactics> a true t)entieth8centur'
practiti!ner !# #able, scribblin" !n the table )ith the )r!n" end !# a #!untain pen, the )all, the
#l!!r( The N!rans t!!& their )!en "entl', she t!ld hi, in spite !# their ar!r, %er' "entl' and
re"all'( The' sni##ed the 9uietl', li&e a d!" e6ainin" #ruit2 then %er' "entl' the' bit, until the
-uice spurted( That is )hat ade hi trap her a"ainst the )all, and p!lea6 her as he did( The %alue
!# these e6periences is that he re"rets n!thin"( He hisel# is al)a's part !# the phen!ena )hich
pu;;le hi( +=an '!u ia"ine,+ he is al)a's as&in", +e d!in" it* =an '!u ia"ine e belie%in" a
thin" li&e that*+
When . thin& !# Tibet l'in" !ut there a!n" the sn!) craters, the B!l"!tha !# the dead
races, 1in!a, 0apan !penin" li&e the tail !# a peac!c&, !r Ethi!pia )here the lanterns s)in" dar&l'
!%er p!!ls !# bl!!d8then . &n!) that the 'th )hich han"s s! hea%il' !n us is n!t dead( .t is
c!in" bac& sl!)l' int! #!cus, its p!)er is bein" rest!red2 )here%er )e !%e )e &n!c& a"ainst its
shapes8pereati!ns and di##usi!ns s! %ast that there is n!t a s9uare #!!t !# earth )ith!ut its
c!pulsi%e a"ic( 3i" )here '!u please al!n" the craters !# this battle#ield, and '!ur spade stri&es
"!ld( The "r!und is stu##ed )ith it, l!aded, "rape8hea%', )aitin" #!r s!e cancer!us sprin" t!
release all this sh!t and shi%ered rubbish t! burst int! cra;' bl!! ar!und us( .t runs in the )ater
#r! the taps2 it sti##ens and breeds in the c!luns !# )ater standin" in trees2 it pereates the
"ranaries, runs in the seed !# the c!rn#ields( .t is e%er')here( 4 sh!%el#ul !# b!nes )ill unc!%er
teples t! 5uet;alc!huatl and the h!rr!rs breedin" in the2 the bathtub #r! )hich
Net;ahualc!'!tl, the p!et, stared !ut acr!ss the in#ant )!rld( The t!bs in )hich e%en the
uies are dead, and )ait sti##l' #!r the resurrecti!n( =a%es )ith the ru#us bis!n dancin" !n
the2 the 4uri"nacian dippin" his #in"er in electricit' and tracin" the #u"iti%e phen!ena !# the
heraldic uni%erse2 the <e&in )!nder, the a"e !# lith!s, lith!s, lith!s( 4pes )ith e6t!sis, and the
#!rt'8#!!t din!saur )ith t!!thache( <atr!l !# the seri!us a!th bet)een the ice a"es( $aber8
t!!th chan"in" his diet2 cr!)s/ #eet le#t !n pitchers( 1in!s( B';antiu #l!)erin" drabl' in 4th!s,
practicin" a traditi!n s! #!ral that #i#t' 'ears &illed its n!%elt', and a#ter t)el%e hundred '!u can
still sell it, li&e sardines "!ne bad in a tin( Faith, '!u are al)a's sa'in" t! e, ultiatel' !ne
ust ha%e #aith:but )hat de"ree !# it, !# shinin" )ill, is necessar' in !rder t! "i%e these relics a
decent burial* 4nd an')a', )hen '!u sa' +Faith,+ h!) d! . &n!) it is n!t !ne !# the de#unct
idealiss under )h!se banner '!u are crusadin"* .# . a #!rei"n, it is because . a tr'in" t! accept
the )!rld, n!t den' its p!siti%it'2 !r build it up !n the sha&' arature !# an ethic( . ha%e 9uarreled
!n this sub-ect n!t !nl' )ith '!u, but )ith 4lan, )ith <eters, )ith ,!b!( . shall c!ntinue t! 9uarrel
until ' !)n p!siti!n bec!es, n!t h'p!thetical, but de#inite( Then%ale> the da's are t!! ept'
and the ni"hts t!! l!n"( H!) can . spend the rest !# ' tie here !nce . a c!n%inced that li#e is
reall' ia"inati!n*
4t ni"ht . drea( .t is a 9ueer sensati!n( . a &illin" e%er'thin" ar!und e, the a"es . ha%e
%isited, the ep!chs . ha%e endured, the pil"ria"es . ha%e been a&in":l!nelier than an' 0e)
c!uld be, !re l!nel' in race( . "i%e up and let e%er'thin" pass thr!u"h e #r! the a"e !# Br!n;e
t! the a"e !# 3e!ns( . ride the )a%e t! the hei"ht !# a illi!n li"ht8)a%es, s&iin" the
%ertebrae !# the can!n, articulatin" the s&elet!ns !# !ld s'stes t! e6aine the, and destr!'in"
the a"ain( This #iendish acti%it' has le#t e al!ne in a treasure !# ia"es, s! barren in their %alue,
that -ust t! )rite the a&es e )ear'> the #ilter, the pentacle, the necr!ance( E%er'thin"( The
ild #aces !# the astr!l!"ers chartin" the planets( The star& e9uati!n !# B!!d and E%il )!rn li&e a
halter( The t'pana )rithin" )ith little h!rn #ell!)s:'ct'res, !6'rh'ncs, cirripedes,
h!l!thurians( in ' ia"inati!n . #!ll!) the 'th )here%er it burst #!rth, in Tuscan', $parta2
)here '!u can still see it li%in" in the sti## "reen candles !# the c'press, the c!nt!rted sil%er !#
B';ance( The r!bes crusted sti## )ith ap!stles, -e)els, and #!ssils( 1eta!rphic beards sharded in
liest!ne( .t is a #!r !# escape( . identi#' 'sel# )ith an'!ne and an'thin" )h! has escaped death
#!r a %i%id hist!r'( . tell 'sel# that . a an alien, a #!rei"ner, a p'&nic #r! 1ars( . sa' this, n!t
because . a l!nel' but because . &n!) it )ill c!e true s!!ner !r later( . establish ' ancestr' as
"reedil' as an' suburban h!useh!lder, "rabbin" at the l!st en, the sc!ur"ers, the )riters )h! ate
)hips and breathed sc!rpi!ns( in the se%erest e6treit' t!!, e%en the br!thers a!n" the ca%es, the
tr!"l!d'tes, the en )ith the "reen8stic& bac&b!nes, the urder!us s'llables that )ere n!t )!rds
but sp!&en acti!ns( 4t such ties . i"ht be B!d #!r all the )!rld d!es t! e( .# ' head )ere
lar"er . i"ht ad!pt a s&ullcap li&e Bre"!r' and a #eelin" #!r lan"ua"e e9ual t! Tar9uin/s #eelin"
#!r pian! eth!d(?+T!uch*+ . sa' t! hi( +Aes( $! delicate ' dear Tar9uin as al!st t! be
rectal7+ . !##er hi brand' be#!re he has tie t! #linch( Bre"!r'(@
Well, at ni"ht . decide it is n! use( Escape is the endless thee !# !ur c!nteplati!n,
escape, escape( The cit' is beatin" ar!und e li&e a #etus, chr!iu, steel, turbines, rubber,
chine's( The ni"hts are di;;' )ith the #!", and the trains run a!&( 4#ter t)el%e, there is an
appr!6iate stillness durin" )hich . be"in ' -!urne's in tie> the !nl' an!d'ne, the !nl'
speci#ic( . )ander #r! h!use t! ruined h!use !# the M!diac, !r else narr!) tra%el d!)n t! an
abstracti!n )hich can "a" the ner%es and spread s!a al!n" the %ertebrae( The )!rld is spea&in"
!utside e, in the ni"ht, luin!us )ith sn!uts !# %!itin" steel and chine's( The ne) )!rld,
)h!se ch!ice is stran"lin" the #ra"ile #lae !# the ps'che( =haberlain is as&in" #!r a 'th!l!"'>
n! ne) 'th!l!"ies, . than& '!u, )e are insulated a"ainst the 'th( The arteries are sti## )ith
achiner', the spine is #!ldin" up li&e an ubrella( 4cr!ss the #atal panthe!n !# the panic )!rld, s!
irrati!nall' !urned:n!t #!r its !)n sa&e, but because )e ha%e n! panthe!n !# !ur !)n:slides
the #i"ure !# 1ic&e' 1!use, t!p8hatted aniac )ith the rubber pel%is, as blithe as the "!n!c!ccus
in the %eins !# 3i%es( Because . tell 'sel# . ad!re '!u, because )hen )e #uc& such %i%id
abstracti!ns see t! -up #r! !ur b!dies, . )!uld li&e t! !##er '!u the traditi!nal sil%er linin"(
But it is n! "!!d( When . hear the "reat ch!rus !# the c!!n pe!ple sin"in" the n!stal"ic
h!peless s!n"s !# the sil%er linin", . &n!) it( .t is n! use( There is n! )a' !ut( The in&' slit
bet)een the le"s !# 1iss $ith tells the sae tale as '!u tell e, l'in" dra)n d!)n li&e a d!" !r
le!pard, %ulnerable( Re!te as the !!n craters, the plues !# sunsp!t, . can !nl' tell '!u that
'!ur #ertilit' is "!in" bad )hile '!u sit there, s!&in", !r readin" the paper2 it is #allin" a)a' int!
the lib! !# all this beauti#ul useless stu## )hich . a #i"htin", in !rder t! tr' and brea& #ree #r!>
in !rder t! re8create and re8enter as a ne) "n!sis(
This is a re#lecti!n !n that ni"ht )hen Tar9uin )as sittin" at the &e'b!ard li&e a "h!ul2 and
the usic:the usic #l!)in" li&e bile int! '!ur sall alert ears:)as s! rancid )ith the truth that
. )as al!st ashaed t! l!!& at '!u( . &ne) then that the )h!le thin" )as a #a&e:the le"end that
Tar9uin is tr'in" t! create, the 'th )hich =haberlain h!url' e6pects t! spea& #r! his st!ach
li&e a de%il( The Badarene descent is s! %i!lent that !st !# us are still una)are that )e are
!%in", s! rapt is the illusi!n !# stillness( Where is this ne) 'th c!in" #r!* Where is the "reat
her!ic #i"ure !n )hich it is t! be shaped* The cause)a's are sin&in" deeper int! the arsh, the
#uture is "r!)in" a hea%ier and hea%ier burden2 the past is cut !## li&e a "an"ren!us lib( Where
and )hat is the a%atar:"iant !r d)ar#* Where is the sterili;ed para"!n !# the ne) ep!ch:the
clinic )!r&er and H!l' Bh!st c!bined* Bi%e it tie, "i%e it tie, =haberlain is sh!utin"( 4 #e)
!re h!spitals, less h!urs !# )!r&, !re tie #!r the pursuit !# hi"her thin"s( We ust clear the
"r!und #irst( ?He is celebratin" his !)n #ebrile "ust in a )hirl !# )ishb!ne #antasies(@ The d!!r !#
the ,!c& H!spital is "reen( The d!!r !# the antenatal sur"er' is )hite( Breen a"ain #!r the d!!r !#
the aternit' clinic( The #etus is dis"!r"ed li&e a turd #r! the in#initel' distended red rubber nec&
!# the cer%i6( ,et e breathe, . a d'in" #!r air( The as& #its %er' cl!se t! the !uth( Filter '
#!!d thr!u"h the placenta and )atch ' !ther de%!ur it a#ter)ard( =haberlain sa's )e ust
clear the "r!und( =haberlain sa's )e ust be !re huane( We ust l!%e !ur !)n "uts( 4b!%e
all )e ust e6terinate the p!liticians )h! p!is!n huanit', )h!se s!uls are as the t!es !# !ld
b!!ts( Ver' -ust( We ust a&e the )a' strai"ht #!r the appearance !# 1ic&e' 1!use, )h! )ill
arri%e t!"ether )ith his in%isible penis )hich he is ne%er all!)ed t! pull !r t)an"( =haberlain
sa's, castrate the an )h! &n!)s t!! uch and is t!! little2 d! n!t ista&e the cultured an #!r
the an )h! is erel' )ell in#!red( Brab at the treasures !# the passi!nal Hie( =haberlain sa's
)e ust be b!rn a"ain( Tar9uin sa's )e are all b!rn dead( Friends, R!ans, =!untr'en, there
)ere ph'si!l!"ists )h! did n!t belie%e that the h'en e6isted2 and here the #isheren are ashaed
t! run ab!ut na&ed th!u"h the #ish )ear n! cl!thes7 N!thin" but #racture, schis, adness
reains(.priis, ,a)rence ,uci#er, . per se ., standin" !n a hi"h t!)er !%er an' delicate
c!unties, #eelin" the arteries in ' libs sti##en )ith )eepin" and laentati!n( We, )h! are sittin"
!utside in the dar&, the "reat un!r"ani;ed b!d' !# creat!rs, &n!) #!r certain that it is !ur !)n
tenderness that is p!is!nin" us( The in"r!)in" c'st !# the l!%e )hich )e dare n!t !##er t! the
)!rld( That is the "er #r! )hich the ne) art'rd! sprin"s> the strippin" !# the b!d', #iber b'
#iber, the brandin" and cleanin" !# the s!ul( . a reeberin" Hilda/s "reat ru#us %ul%a li&e a
cr!)ded ar&etplace2 the "reat c!nduit ch!&ed )ith bl!!d and paper and ci"ar ends )hich )e
ust accept be#!re )e can "! an' #arther( The "reat luin!us s'b!l !# the cunt, "l!)in" s!#tl' in
hist!r' li&e the Brail, the "enesis !# the li%in", the blithe plush cushi!n !# li#e( Hilda l'in" there
li&e Tibet, "l!)in" in her c!n%alescent secrec' a!n" the sn!)8b!und craters and -e)els( ?There
are s! #e) !# us le#t )ith the urder!us "i#t !# l!%e, s! #e)(@ 4nd in that usic )hich Tar9uin
ade, as he said, #!r us, there )as n! l!%e2 there )as n! hate e%en:that s'pt! !# l!%e( Onl'
the terrible ener%ati!n, the dead l!ss, the rec!ilin" !# the spirit be#!re truth( . said n!thin" t! '!u
then, because . c!uld reeber n!thin" t! sa'2 i# . had be"un t! spea& . i"ht ne%er ha%e ended( .
th!u"ht !# 1!r"an, d!)n b' the b!ilers, )ith the ar&s !# the catheter !n hi2 1adae 4b!ut and
the sell !# her )!b2 ,!b! )eepin" !%er the &ni#e2 Bre"!r' standin" be#!re the death s9uad,
#acin" the "reen bullets !# )!rds> . th!u"ht !# us )anderin" that da' b' the ri%er, a!n" the ele"ic
&in"cups, bus' )ith dreas s! tri%ial and bri"ht that )e had n! idea !# the d!! settlin" #r!
hea%en !n us li&e a #l!!r !# s!!t( Aes, )hen . said )e had bec!e heraldic . eant a painted
annihilati!n )hich '!u are still c!nstantl' ista&in" #!r li#e(8The c!untr' )as ali%e in the sense
that a pla'in" card is ali%e( We )ere enterin" int! a #icti!n, and all this is erel' the paraphernalia
!# ballet, the insi"nia !# cl!)ns !r s)ans struttin" be#!re s!e t!! st'li;ed bac&cl!th( That is )h'
this )ritin" had t! bec!e ballet and ape it> n!t the e!ti!n !# pers!nalities, but a theater !# the
idea( Oursel%es, i# )e still had +sel%es,+ as the pr!-ecti!n !# an idea t!ssed under a sp!tli"ht t! spin
and dither li&e 0apanese )alt;in" ice ( ( (
Hush7 We ha%e #allen li&e statues !n the "rass, #!!ts!re, sun8drun&, blind( A!ur #ace #alls
!n ' slee%e li&e a petal, the )!rds ept' thesel%es !ut !# it int! the silence( N! c!ntinuit' an'
!re in the #able, but the )ar na&ed statue under the dress( Heraldic* Tie shut !##, as sure as the
in%isible hand in the charnel h!use shuts !## the breath !# the dead( 4s the bee han"s, s!#tl'
treblin" ab!%e a #l!)er, then lapses bet)een the lips, a #urr' t!rped!, s! the #in"ers !# their
uni9ue drea !# l!"ic #!ll!) the dub cur%e !# the statue d!)n)ard, !ist, t! the #inal terinus
!# drea( Bentl' '!ur b!d' rides !ut and han"s ab!%e the lac9uered ri%er> an ia"e n!t sp!n"ed
!ut, !r carried d!)nstrea a!n" the Ophelias( The' sa' )e l!%e !nl' !ur !)n re#lecti!n in the
#aces !# !thers, li&e cattle drin&in" #r! their !)n #aces in a ri%er( The heraldic Narcissus in '!ur
#ace has learned s!ethin" at last( The true eanin" !# charit' is &n!)led"e( The l!n" planes !#
)ater run thr!u"h us li&e seed !r spears( Here is a beauti#ul pupa sti##ened in the cr!!& !# an ar,
!%erl!!&ed b' a cl!ud !# aa;ed c!( The usic* What has the usic t! d! )ith this !ent in
an !ld )!rld* N!thin"( We are as i# dead( 3eath, but there is s!ethin" le#t behind, )hich bl!)s in
and !ut !# the n!strils, )ashes #r! the thr!at in a s!#t )a%e !# in%isible ashes2 there is s!ethin"
here )hich dis candles in churches, e%anescent:suds !r sp!res !r s!&e( A!u ha%e three sets !#
lips superip!sed !n !ne an!ther s!#tl'( $uch a thin" as a &iss )!uld elt, #allin" #r! diensi!n
t! delicate diensi!n !# sense2 the bland #ace in its surprise c!uld pla' n! part in it( 5ueer t! thin&
that )e, )h! are here !n a pla'in" card, #i6ed #!re%er in an e6clusi%e e!r' !# desire, n!) share
the +necr!bi!sis+ ?Tar9uin@ !# the a"e( .t is s! eas' t! burst thr!u"h the tep!ral stu## and delude
!ursel%es( A!u are )ar and ripe under the "arish dress( . ha%e entered '!u 9uietl' )ith!ut #e%er(
The rain rattles a!n" the lea%es li&e dust8sh!t2 the un)in&in" ri%er is #l!)in" at '!ur head( 4n
instant/s %isi!n !# the under)ater "irl, thi"hs dra)n bac& in an arch t! adit rape, tan"led in the
#l!)in" )eeds and #ucus( . a )ith '!u t! the hilt n!), E6calibur bedded in the )ar st!ne #lesh,
pushin" !pen ne) c!ntinents, ne) %istas !# e!ti!n( The ine6!rable reapin" penis sti##ened in a
#ield !# parched c!rn( The trees are dra""in" their heads, cau"ht in the )ind( The ri%er is "lacid(
The &in"cups shine and shine, and scent !# the crushed arsh8#l!)er enters us( A!u are )eepin"
n!) )ith deli"ht, and e%er'thin" is )ashed a)a' in this e##!rtless, happ' )eepin"( The ri%er has
sp!n"ed a)a' the dust, the recriinati!ns, the platitudes, the a"!nies( We are cau"ht in a l!! !#
#eelin", )!%en t! )ater, t! r!c&, t! plant b' this acti!n( The a6le !# the )!rld )a%ers, trebles, and
be"ins a #aster, a !re ner%!us r!tati!n> )e are spun r!und )ith r!c&s and hills and chine's( .t is
all s! e##!rtless2 a )ar plural !an:and the l!n" still entr', shut !##, dri#tin" t! harb!r, h!e(
The )!b eptied li&e a buc&et !# us& int! silence( The ri%er #l!)s( The &in"cups shine and
shine(
N!) that !ur accidental separati!n is !%er . )al& #!r )h!le da's at a tie in the aura !# the
li#e '!u carr' under '!ur dress( . rub ' thr!at !n it li&e a cat( . caress it( .t is li&e a sall ba##lin"
center !# blac&ness, !# a"ic, a!n" da's and )a's t!! easil' underst!!d( That is !nl' !ne !# the
reas!ns . )ent acr!ss t! the pian!, snatched up the sc!re !#T! En"land and slun" it int! the #ire(
,et us ha%e d!ne )ith all this !nce and #!r all( ,et us st!p all these c!rpses drin&in" their !)n pus
li&e this( . a tired !# Tar9uin, sittin" there in his rubber "l!%es, pla'in" the )et !dulati!ns !# the
usic( .# this is an epit!e !# the En"lish death, then . can a&e a better !ne> as an upire, an
!nl!!&er, n!t a participant( .# . #ind all this di##icult t! -usti#', it is because . a '!un", iserable,
and l!!&in" #!r the )a' !ut( +1' sc!re(+ !ans Tar9uin( +1' beauti#ul sc!re, '!u little %andal(+
Whereup!n there is n!thin" t! d! but sin& int! the archair, and "! int! a sul&( . c!uld &ill '!u #!r
the l!!& !# surprise !n '!ur #ace( N! c!pris* N! spee& En"lish, eh* Well, let us tal& ,ettish(
+Fuc&* What is #uc&*+ . reeber '!u sa'in"( N!) '!u ha%e the sae pu;;led l!!& !n '!ur #ace(
O(K( then, . den' it all, . re%!&e it, e%er' !unce !# it> the c!rn, the dust8sh!t, the ri%er( A!u can ta&e
the usic and stu## it up that )indpipe anus !# '!urs( ( ( (
But '!u ha%e resued #lesh> int! the blac& car )e stuble li&e c!al iners, h!t and da;ed(
4bs!lute silence !%er the brid"e, li&e a dial!"ue !# the H!l' Bh!st( The ni"ht is thic&enin"(
Out there the #ailiar )!rld runnin" a)a' t!)ard that pla'"r!und !# c!ncrete )here the
li"hts bl!!( Han" !n ' )ear' ars( Faint line dra)in" !# a #ace a"ainst the )ind!)( We are
bein" dra)n h!e)ard !n the l!n" thread !# the usic int! the eanin"less circus pe!pled )ith
#anatics, #airies, and cler"'en( $ee7 Trains runnin" !ut int! the ni"ht( The )!rld is bleedin"
trains( $!#t bars !# aniac -a;; pant #r! the d!!r)a's( The #ace !# the pe!ple is a "reat "rinnin"
disc, re%!l%in" eanin"less as a rec!rd( The d!es stac&ed up !%er !ur heads( ,au"hin"
ustaches in barr!!s suc&in" the stac&ed #r!th !n the "lasses( 3id '!u see 4nsel c!e !ut !#
the d!!rs !# the ,!c& H!spital, c!llar turned up, hat !%er his e'es, #u"iti%e and dis"uised*
The ad%ertiseents )ar t! li#e( 4 bulbed $c!tchan drin&in" a sti## rain !# bulbs and
)in&in"( 4nsle has disappeared d!)n the street, rapt in a pla'er/s hide( in the bar the' are linin"
up at the tr!u"h( =!e, )e )ill sit in a ca#e !%er cups !# c!##ee and eat each !ther ali%e( A!ur
)rists incandesce )hen . t!uch the( Burn a stran"e )hite> !lten #ilaents( E'es ad and
eanin"less, turnin" here and there, burnin" in their little crucibles( .s there a teperature chart t!
rec!rd the rise and declensi!n !# this #e%er* in the h!ll!) stati!n Hilda is )aitin", as in the t!b,
#!r the d!!r t! be r!lled bac&, and her an t! step #r! the train( The en"ines )hinn', and there is
a #ire bet)een her le"s n!), #!r the si"nals "l!)( in a little )hile 1!r"an )ill "ather up the
pieces,steain"( in the eantie let us tr' t! #!r"et that bacilli are creepin" up !n =aden T!)n(
Red8e'ed sca%en"ers in illi!ns( Here, de%!ur ' #in"ers !ne b' !ne( The #in"ers !# buttered t!ast
taste li&e ashes( There is a draa bein" pla'ed !ut in !ur b!dies, but )hat it is . cann!t tell( 4 #ur'
has dist!rted that )hite #ace !# '!urs, )hich )ill end in tears( Ta&e ' hand&erchie#( When '!u
)eep '!ur n!se is dra)n bac& t! '!ur s&ull li&e a b!)strin"( Tears burst #r! n!thin"( A!ur !uth
h!bbles )ith repr!aches( E'es li&e r!c& cr'stal( . d! n!t ha%e t! stri&e '!u t! a&e '!u "ush( This
is the be"innin" !# ' p!)er( 1' &nees are l!!sened and ' an&les are bathed in '!ur bl!!d(
F!r"i%e e( . en-!'ed it s! uch(
The usic has led us at last bac& t! the %er' d!!r !# the h!tel( Tar9uin is sittin" )ith the
predat!r' hands, eltin" his pian! d!)n t! treacle under the si"n !# the s)in"in" spir!chete( ,et us
!pen a nice #at %ein and rela6 in the bathtub t! )atch the #ilaents !# bl!!d han" bet)een !ur ribs(
A!u can still hear the cars screain" al!n" the blac& r!ad !utside* The rin" !# the p!stan in the
ept' h!use* The )ires ali%e )ith ne)s #r! all !%er the )!rld* The h!useaids bul"in" #r!
blind )ind!)s* We #!ll!) the li&e d!"s, ,!b! and .( The salt bitches7 4t ele%en the' han" ab!ut
the letter b!6es in slippers( Aes, as Tar9uin sa's, the !nl' letters the' see t! p!st are #rench
letters( On $aturda's '!u can see <ere; standin" up a"ainst the )all in shad!) li&e a d!"( On
Tuesda's '!u can see hi !n all #!urs, !n a table a!n" the rubber8"l!%ed elite !# the h!spital,
)hinin" li&e a d!"( 4ll this is a little re!te #r! '!ur )hite sleepin" #ace, )hether . lie !n '!ur
breast li&e a sleepin" dra"!n, !r )hether . t!n"ue '!u int! sur"ical shudders, it d!es n!t atter
uch( 4dit it( When '!u l!!& int! ' e'es are '!u n!t appalled b' the little eanin" there is in
the* The d!uble8barreled icr!sc!pe !##ers n!thin" but a inute iris8ia"e !# '!ursel#(
+This is a ne) be"innin",+ sa's Tar9uin( +Dp t! n!) . ha%e been #l!underin", . did n!t
&n!) ' directi!n( N!) it is all 9uite di##erent(+
He has disc!%ered that he is a h!!se6ual( 4#ter e6ainin" his diar', ha%in" his h!r!sc!pe
cast, his pal read, his pr!state #in"ered, and the bups !n his "reat bald craniu interpreted(
+Fr! n!) !n it is "!in" t! be di##erent( . a "!in" t! sleep )ith )h! . )ant and n!t let
' c!nditi!ned sel# inter#ere )ith e( . ha%e #inished )ith !rals, d!n/t '!u thin&* . a that . a,
and all that &ind !# stu##( One ust be b!ld en!u"h t! #ace up t! !nesel#, eh* . a "rate#ul #!r
$cience ha%in" ade it p!ssible( . shall let ' #eale hal# c!e !ut in #ull %ie)( Dntraeled,
)hat d! '!u sa'*+
He has b!u"ht hisel# a #e) cheap p!)ders and #ace creas, had a #alse t!!th put in )here
the canine )as issin", e%en )!nders )hether a )i" ( ( ( Well, )e d! n!t disc!ura"e hi( There is
s!ethin" #ri"htenin" in the idea !# the s&inn', epicene an paradin" ab!ut his r!! )ith a little
r!u"e !n the chee&b!ne, a t!uch !# e'e pencil, and a c!p!siti!n t!!th( .t is the be"innin" !# the
disinte"rati!n )hich he has been ann!uncin" #!r s! l!n"( The n'ph is burstin" #r! the
)rappin"s( The dance is !n7 He has alread' learned a #e) c!n%enti!nal "estures !# the hand, a
tur&e'8li&e !%eent !# the head and sh!ulders( He inces d!)n t! dinner %er' prettil' these
da's(
+. shall re%ise n!t !nl' ' !ral but als! ' intellectual li#e( Fr! n!) !n . shall
c!une !nl' )ith the "reatpure inds li&e $trache', 1urr', and Euclid(+
But as #!r ph'sical c!uni!n, he can #ind n!b!d' t! help hi !ut( $unda' !rnin" is the
!nl' tie !## his Balha cinea attendant can "et( He lies !n his bed h!pelessl' and t)iddles his
thubs disall' in the c!unterpane(
+. sa', )h' d!n/t '!u tr' it,+ he as&s, +)h' d!n/t '!u tr' bein" 9ueer* H!) d! '!u &n!)
'!u d!n/tneed it* 3!n/t listen t! that bl!!d' little )!ani;er, ,!b!( He/s -ust a daned #!!l( ,!!&,
d! '!u thin& it )!uld daa"e !ur relati!nship i# . suc&ed '!u !##*+
The "ra!ph!ne st!ps in aa;eent at this pr!p!sal( He si"hs and #eels his head,
ia"inin" a lu6uri!us cr!p !# hair that he c!uldt!ss, ' dear(
+. had a l!%el' p!licean !n Thursda'( B! !n( Wh' d!n/t '!u let e* $hut '!ur e'es, '!u
)!n/t &n!) an'thin"/s happened( .t/ll be li&e bein" c!n#ired( B! !n( =hrist7 There/s n!b!d'
ar!und here )ith an' "uts(+
4t !ther ties he is l!st in !!ds !# c!nteplati!n )hich last #!r da's( in this he is, as he
sa's, "atherin" ne) phen!ena( He has bec!e a %ast st!reh!use !# scienti#ic #!rulae, hist!rical
data, hier!"l'phs, runes, d!"a( His b!!&case has bec!e a librar' #!r the b!!& )hich he sa's
hea' )ant t! )rite !ne da'(
+One !# these da's . shall !pen a nice #at -uic' %ein, lie d!)n in the bath, and be"in the
b!!&( N!( . d!n/t &n!) )hat it/ll be ab!ut( . thin& a hu"e b!!& !# a ne) phil!s!ph'(1' phil!s!ph',
)hat* N!( . ha%en/t b!thered t! )!r& it !ut( .t/ll all c!e !nce . start( $!eties . "et all ' ideas
clear at ni"ht, and start t! )rite the d!)n, and then . thin& ( ( ( O #uc&, )hat/s the use !# it all
an')a'* 4nd . "! t! sleep( 4nd ne6t da' ./%e "!t t! "et a sha%e, !r ' l!%er calls, !r s!ethin"( .
ne%er see t! ha%e tie(+
He su##ers, he sa's, #r! the e6pandin" !ent( .t is al)a's there, and al)a's the sae,
and )hate%er he d!es he ne%er has tie t! )rite an'thin" but the %a"ue n!tes in his diar'(
+Wednesda'( ,aid 3ic&' as usual( Three ties a ni"ht is t!! uch( . h!ld that $t( Beu%e
)as blasphein" )hen he said>,a pr!state c/est tine a'"dale d!nt -e ne%!is pas la necessite(+
4 part !# his tie, t!!, he spends in ,!nd!n these da's, ta&in" an interest in the literar' li#e
!# his tie, as e6hibited b' the "!itered belles !# =harl!tte $treet, and the #lat8chested )innies !#
the Fit;r!' Ta%ern( Occasi!nall' he brin"s !ne !# these c!n%enti!nall' epicene "eniuses h!e )ith
hi( T!b' is !ne !# his catches( F!r us siple pr!%incials he has a health' disre"ard, bein" the !nl'
!ne a!n" us t! ha%e heard !# H!p&ins( 4s a re%ie)er he is a&in" a nae #!r hisel#, ha%in"
culti%ated an anal'tical st'le tae en!u"h t! pass as brutal, and an in#allible sense #!r literar'
d!"#i"htin"( He stands in #r!nt !# the #ire li&e a '!un" bl!)#l' and rubs his hands t!"ether( There is
s!e tal& !# a ne) paper( Aes, Tar9uin ust c!ntribute2 it is "!in" t! be de%!ted entirel' t! the
stud' !# "enius in relati!n t! the pr!state( =laude )ill )ei"h in )ith a #e) !# his caera studies !#
"reat bi" Nubians( ='ril )ill c!ntribute line dra)in"s i# his hand can be persuaded t! reain
stead'( T!b' hisel# )ill attac& e%er'thin" in si"ht( 4nd Tar9uin )ill )rite an essa' !n the
Fla"ellati!n 1!ti# in 1!dern <!etr'( +./d "et '!u s!e space,+ sa's the her!, +i# !nl' '!ur stu##
)eren/t s! -u%enile( The inute '!u stri&e a )!an '!u start beha%in" li&e a chaberaid( A!u
)ant !re !# the:the )hat is it*:)hat/s that b!!& !# ,e)is* Aes, the hard ale chastit' !#
th!u"ht, !r s!ethin"( E!ti!n is %ul"ar, ' dear(+
,!b! is %er' ipressed b' these preparati!ns( He sits attenti%el', his head !n !ne side, and
listens t! T!b' declaiin" p!etr'( He has "!t the idea that the paper is "!in" t! be an !bscene !ne>
+Will it be #ull !# h!t thin"s*+ he in9uires in"enu!usl'( Tar9uin is %er' ann!'ed )ith hi(
F!r a tie it sees the e6pandin" !ent has bec!e the e6pandin" h!ur( Tar9uin has
b!u"ht a t'pe)riter and has #!und s!ethin" t! d!( =!nse9uentl' he is happier( 4ls!, as he sa's, it
is nice eetin" ne) pe!ple and s! "raduall' ha%in" !re and !re pe!ple t!ha%e, ' dear( His
r!u"e sud"es a bit, he is s! en"r!ssed in his ne) pr!#essi!n( He had b!u"ht a )i" and an e'e"lass
but is t!! sh' t! )ear the, alth!u"h )e d! !ur best t! enc!ura"e hi( The )i" he )ears !nl'
)hile he is )ritin"( .t is a s!rt !# s'b!l !# his artistic pers!nalit', the ne) an )h! has eer"ed,
+hard and clean as a statue,+ #r! the !ld scarecr!) !# d!ubt and #ears and re!rses( He l!!&s
terri#'in"l' hide!us, sittin" at the achine, his pale #ace scre)ed int! a &n!b under the t!!
per#ectl' "r!!ed )a%' hair(
The suer has "athered li&e an a%alanche( . sit in the archair )atchin" Tar9uin/s #in"ers
at )!r&, p!ssessed b' a dread#ul a"itati!n, )h' . d! n!t &n!)( in ' ind . a c!p!sin" ' )ill
and testaent, arran"in" ab!ut the distributi!n !# ' #e) b!!&s and p!es, plannin" the last %ale
in in& !# a red c!l!r( in the nae !# Beel;ebub, 4en(.priis, . ,a)rence ,uci#er be9ueath '
s!ul t! hell and ' b!d' t! the earth a!n" '!u all( 3i%ide e and share e e9uall', but )ith as
uch )ran"lin" as '!u can, . pra'( 4nd it )ill be the better i# '!u "! t! la) #!r e( ( ( ( That is the
dust' n!te !# all testaents( Or perhaps> . ,a)rence ,uci#er, sic& in s!ul but n!t in b!d', bein" in
per#ect health t! )ic&ed e!r', d! c!nstitute and !rdain this, ' last )ill and testaent
irre%!cable as l!n" as the )!rld shall be trapled !n b' %illain'( The shad!)s are "atherin" in the
in&)ell, the d'es are r!tatin" )ith the #aces !# ' darlin"s, ,!b! and 1!r"an, 4nsel, Farn!l,
B!!d)in, <eters, $crase, 1arne'( ((( . a n!t sure 'et )hether there is a p!stscript !r a prelude
l'in" in )ait #!r e( . a uncertain )hat this c!l!r h!lds, a#raid !# the #aces that )!uld appear i# .
started )ritin"( Tar9uin tells e t! tell '!u that he is happ'( $e6uall' ature, ' dear, and
#ul#illed( H!) l!n" it lasts . cann!t predict( But )e h!pe, dear reader, d! )e n!t*
This said, he departed:t! his !lten &in"d!, the )ind r!se, the b!tt! !# the chair #ell
!ut, the scri%ener #ell #lat up!n his n!se( 4nd here is the end !# a harless !ral(
There is a delici!us iperanence ab!ut the da's( We eat and sleep n!) carelessl', as i# )e
)ere !n a -!urne', e6pectin" the ship t! dr!p int! p!rt at an' !ent( The "raph has cur%ed up
a"ain int! an"uish )hich it )!uld be eas' t! ista&e #!r deli"ht( The suer is retreatin" a"ain
and lea%in" us, stuc& li&e !n!liths, in the ud( This is the last #atal spas be#!re the b!d' and
ind are #!rced bac& int! their autun #!rs> the last he!rrha"e( . can sell the chill'
etaph'sic !# the )inter appr!achin"( The tidear&s !# the !ld phil!s!phies are !ur c!nstant
c!pani!ns( But there is n! n!urishent t! be #!und in the( +B' space the uni%erse enc!passes
and s)all!)s e as an at!2 b' th!u"ht . enc!pass it(+ in the as'lus the' are &nittin", &nittin",
as i# the' c!uld sell the decidu!us seas!n( 4t the Blind $ch!!l ' b!d' is laid !ut !n the readin"
des&, )hile the blunt #urti%e #in"ers spell it !ut li&e ants( <ressin" d!)n the ball !# the e'e, learnin"
the rib and #eur, li#tin" and dr!ppin" the dru""ed penis( in the "arret the d!uche ba" hus and
)hirrs illi!ns !# p!tential pers!nalities int! an enael sl!p pail( The e'es !# the tra%elers are
turned in)ard, bec!in" dil' a)are !# the %isible cha!s, the "arba"e heap !# the s!ul( The
pr!ble !# the pers!nalit' "r!)s li&e a stench in the air, in#ectin" the t!)n )ith an/s essential
l!neliness( Rib t! rib, #ace t! #ace )ith the abs!lute heraldic pers!nalit' )hich )a&es in each
!ther/s e'es, e%en the l!%ers treble, and bec!e sic& )ith h!rr!r and eptiness( The air is ist'
)ith the breath !# cattle( The )a'side pulpits erupt in a #resh cr!p !# a6is( =hrist7 can '!u n!t
sell annihilati!n breathin" in at the !ri#ices !# the crac&ed pers!nalit'* 1adness is in the air( +.
#uc& and #uc& and #uc&,+ sa's <ere;, )ith the net !# arteries standin" drun&enl' in his spine, +and
it/s n! "!!d( . #eel . can/t d! en!u"h t! the( W!en7 <iss !n, shit !n,dra) bl!!d(+ His sa%a"er'
in#ects the b!n' #i"ure !# !ur #riend !n the bed( . a a#raid he )ill &ill Hilda !ne !# these ni"hts,
but the adness is c!nta"i!us( We are bein" sl!)l' su##!cated n!) that the seas!n is endin", bein"
dra)n d!)n li&e dec!r!us blinds in dead h!uses( in the h!spitals the' are )!r&in" #e%erishl' t!
&eep the c!rpses #resh( Ba' uies stand in the li%in" r!!s !# 4ericans( The )hite
abulance #lutters #r! h!use t! h!use, #uddled )ith bl!!d( The cl!)n dra)s bac& his tr!user le"
and lets #all a #alse cl!ud !# rauc!us hair( Beds crea& in a illi!n rented r!!s, l!aded )ith
i!rtalit'( $l!)l' the )hite principle !# the b!d' is elted d!)n, s!#tened int! passi%it'(
=haberlain/s #ace is #lushed )ith #e%er( He tal&s l!udl' and e%er !re l!udl' ab!ut bein" b!rn
a"ain> s! as n!t t! hear the hearse dra) up t! the d!!r, and the #!!tsteps ascend the stairs( 1!r"an
sp!n"es the tid' libs )ith c!ld )ater, sha%es the slac& -!)ls, tris d!)n the blac& bush and
#in"ernails( Where is the !ld )!an )h! thre) hersel# !n the b!d' and clutched the penis* .sis
)here are '!u* Had she ne%er heard !# the ri"!r* Thin"s i"ht ha%e been !st inc!n%enient( The
tablet shall be in the best !# taste, 'es, )ith a 9u!tati!n #r! the H!l' Writ( ( ( (
Turn '!ur #ace a)a', . a tired !# l!!&in" at it( Open '!ur le"s and let e be suc&ed up
int! the bl!!dstrea, p!ured #r! the a!rta in a siple beat( . a )ear'( 3! n!t spea& t! e,
because '!u can !nl' utter ibecilities( $hut up and #uncti!n, '!u stale #uc&in" bl!c&( W!uld '!u
be happ' i# . )ent #!r '!ur car!tid )ith a ra;!r, and sh!)ed '!u the nest !# tubes and bladders
)hich li%e dis"ustin"l' in '!ur )hite thr!at* +A!ur p!etr',+ she sa's in the letter, +is )ild and
un#!red( =!ncentrate !n st'le( 4nd . d!n/t understandh!) '!u can l!%e and hate the )!an at
the sae tie(+
,et us adit it #ran&l', then, the suer is d'in"( =!e, )e )ill "! hand in hand, d!)n the
li"hted streets and turn in at the d!!rs !# the cinea( . )ill let '!u stand e a !ne and threepenn'
d!pe( What a #ine plush )!b )e ha%e escaped int! t!"ether, '!u and .( Aes, )e are in tie #!r the
!b #etus t! be b!rn( Fanc' the ani!n ha%in" li"hted )alls and !c&8E"'ptian #resc!es !n it( We
can send !ut t! the clit!ris #!r an ice( What #ine str!n" )hi##s !# pepperint( But it is the plush
)alls !# the )!b . can/t "et !%er( The' are s! c!;', s! h!e'( 4 l!%el' di )!bland )here )e
can cheer =!nchita, the an8eater, and s)eat t!"ether( 0esus, h!) that "irl eats her l!%ers7 ,et us
pretend . a '!ur l!%er, h!ne'2 c!e, asticate e d!)n)ard( =he) each !rsel thirt'8t)!
ties( ,i&e a hea%' cat she eats her hea%ies hea%il'( $uc& ' bl!!d, dearie, it/s !nl' in&( =hrist7 .#
'!u stretch th!se t!n"ue8less &isses !ut an' !re ./ll "! ad( ( ( (
+3esire is the "reat pr!ble,+ sa's =haberlain( +.t is the real abs!lute '!u hear these
casuists ista&in" thesel%es ab!ut, eh* The #!cal p!int !# li%in" is se6(+
. can hear the in& runnin" in the %eins !# 1iss $ith( The batteries runnin" d!)n under the
print dress(
The iitati!n cr!c&8s&in handba" is "ettin" hea%ier and hea%ier t! li#t( The pr!ble !#
desire eats int! us li&e a chancre(
. a !bsessed )ith the #ear !# sn!)( Wa&in" in the !rnin", . run t! the )ind!), th!u"h .
&n!) it is ridicul!us, t! see i# it has #allen durin" the ni"ht( The insane "e!etr' !# the statues
sees t! breathe pre!niti!ns !# the )inter( The "h!st !# the blac& car haunts e, ridin" a"ainst
the !!n( The bl!!d !n the #l!!rs !# the slau"hterh!uses has n!t c!n"ealed as 'et( The )inter !#
!ur disc!ntent is dela'ed2 . a s! beside 'sel# )ith apath' and sel#8pit' that )hen . stand here
beside the bed, ' delectable plat'pus, and )atch '!ur #eet reachin" the ceilin", . ha%e the
sensati!n !# bein" a b!b> the e6pl!si!n !# a craed )!rld reachin" d!)n !%er '!u, t! c!%er
'!u in splinters, #ra"ents, th!rns, ashes, peelin"s( There is such an ur"enc' in the air )e breathe
that . a !n the p!int !# e6pl!din" and litterin" the r!! )ith a heap !# plaster ia"es ( ( (
s!licitati!ns, c!nd!lences, c!#!rts, desires( . a participatin" in a disinte"rati!n !# the
pers!nalit', he tells e( The s!ul is enterin" a deliri!us s';'"'( Hilda, li&e a "reat !!n, and '!u
)h!se cancer!us )rists turn )hite a"ainst the streetlaps )ith a %!lta"e as 'et t! be scienti#icall'
described( F!r"i%e ' iprecisi!n,+ but it is as i# . )ere pac&in" t! "! !n a l!n" -!urne'( Hilda lies
!pen li&e a trun& in the c!rner !# the r!!( There is r!! #!r e%er'thin", the "ra!ph!ne, the
rec!rds, the c!tta"e pian!, the icr!sc!pe, the hair rest!rer, se%en sets !# clean cl!thes,
anuscripts, a t'pe)riter, a dicti!nar', a pair !# -ac&b!!ts, s&ates, an ice pic&, a crash helet, a
sheath &ni#e, a #ishin" r!d, and the latest B!!& $!ciet' =h!ice( There is e%en r!! #!r a p!rtable
B!d, i# '!u r!pe it up a!n" the can%asses( With these labels t! assure e !# ' distinct and
uni9ue pers!nalit', . step d!)n int! the red tunnel, t! be"in the -!urne'( F!r the purp!ses !#
sipli#icati!n, let e be &n!)n as 0!nah( With Hilda as the )hale, there are iplicati!ns in the
Bible st!r' )hich ha%e been alt!"ether i"n!red until n!)( Ver' )ell7 With that &n!)in" l!!& .
al)a's ia"ine the sperat!;!a t! )ear !n their #aces, . slip d!)n t!)ard the )!b, carr'in" '
bel!n"in"s )ith e( .t has all been arran"ed, . a "!in" t! be )alled in( W!b, then, and t!b in
!ne7 <lush )alls, naturall', and a )ell8#urnished h!use( 4ll the "enteel p!ssessi!ns !# the cultured
!)l( $herr' !n tap, <icass! !n the )all !%er the pian!, and the r!c&iest ,atins in the b!!&case,
"l!ss' )ith a"e( <resentl' the ebaler )ill call( .t )ill be 1!r"an, dressed up as $anta Blaus2
)ith the sharpest !# his &itchen &ni%es he )ill !pen the abd!inal )all, and e6tract the "uts, cure
the, )rap the in br!)n paper parcels, label the and put the bac&( 1ean)hile . shall be
s)illed !ut )ith "rape -uice( The brains )ill be h!!&ed !ut thr!u"h the n!se and the craniu
stu##ed )ith che)in" "u( Then . shall be read' t! parta&e !# eternit', sittin" in a chair, )ith the
"!!d E;ra !pen !n ' lap( . )ill be -ust in the !!d t! lend a sti## ear t! the #elicities !#
=a%alcanti( 1ean)hile #r! !utside the )!r& )ill "! !n( . )ill be c!pletel' bric&ed in( ((( But
)hat a . tal&in" ab!ut* .a bric&ed in7 There, b' the d!!r lie the ice pic&, crash helet, and
s&ates( .# . had &n!)n be#!rehand . sh!uld ne%er ha%e br!u"ht the )ith e( .t is al)a's the )a'(
The' are 9uite useless( $uch a thin" as a !t!rbi&e is unheard !# in this liited plush )!rld( in it
there is r!! #!r !ne thin" !nl':pure th!u"ht7 E%en e!r' is "ettin" a little di( $!!n there
)ill be n! past( 4lread' . ha%e #!r"!tten 1adae 4b!ut/s #ace> . &n!) !nl' that she carries
?carried*@ a cancer ab!ut )ith her li&e a hand "renade( Bracie, =haberlain* ((( 4 stran"e
pr!cessi!n !# s'b!ls acr!ss the c!nsci!usness( . d! n!t &n!) an' !re )hat the' ean( .t is
useless t! interr!"ate ' -ail!rs:the uies )hich line the c!rrid!r, the sti##8bearded )in"ed
"entlean )h! "uards the b!!&case( The' li%e in the diensi!n !# th!u"ht )hich is space( T!
spea& the' )!uld ha%e t! inhabit tie( $!!n, . t!! )ill l!se the p!)er !# tie8speech( . can #eel the
hea%' bul& !# barbaric )!rds in ' brain c!ilin" up and d'in" #!r )ant !# use> the a""!ts !# a
lar"e %!cabular' eatin" each !ther #!r )ant !# brain tissue t! li%e !n(
The air . breathe is pure and sterile and reiniscent !# a tube stati!n( . a #ed thr!u"h the
)all, in )hich lies a s!rt !# a #ilter, ebedded( Once e%er' t)! h!urs there is a "ush !# s'nthetic
#!!d )hich passes int! e )ith!ut ' reali;in" it( . a happ' because . a n!thin", an idea )hich
is a little di##icult t! e6press( This little plush )!rld ip!ses a r!utine !n e )hich . respect( . a
#anaticall' re"ular( Bet)een eals . sit and br!!d( $!eh!) the b!!&s are n! l!n"er interestin",
because . a #!r"ettin" h!) t! read( . sit )ith ' hands !%er ' e'es and #eel the )a%es passin"
in ' b!d'( What the' sa' . cann!t as 'et tell( .t is a lan"ua"e t!tall' un#ailiar, )hich runs al!n"
a diensi!n !# sensibilit' . ha%e n!t hithert! culti%ated( $!eties . ta&e a little str!ll up and
d!)n the chaber, repeatin" ' !)n nae t! 'sel#( The abs!lute deadness !# the lith!"raphs !n
the )alls n! l!n"er depresses e( . ha%e "!t be'!nd re%!luti!n, that is t! sa', be'!nd B!d( F!r a
!ent there )as an !bstinate ner%e in ' breast tellin" e t! ta&e the ice a6 and sash ' )a'
thr!u"h the red )all, but . resisted it( . a s! happ' in ' )ea&ness reall'( . d! n!t e%en re"ret
<ater( 1' "l'ptic -ail!rs )ait sti##l' #!r e t! address the in their !)n lan"ua"e( . ust hurr' up
and learn the "raar !# )a%es, the curi!us s'nta6 )hich passes bet)een the li&e a current(
There is a supree l!"ic behind this li#e )hich . can sense but cann!t understand( =!ncentrate,
then, . ust c!ncentrate( .# . did n!t #eel . )as bein" sti#led the )h!le tie, it )!uld be easier(
4s #!r the )hale, the e6teri!r uni%erse )hich )as Hilda ?the nae n!) licheni;ed, sp!n"ed,
scur#ed, died@, B!d &n!)s )here she spins, in )hat l!"arithic )ater, !%er the <!les, her "reat
#lu&es #lashin" blue, reachin" al!st t! the !!n( B!d &n!)s )hat deep8)ater #un"us "r!)s
bet)een her #ins, )hat ice drus !n the !utside )alls !# ' pris!n( 0!nah, . sa' t! 'sel#, 9uietl',
persistentl'( .t is the !nl' )!rd le#t !%er the dead %!cabularies( The !nl' s!und )hich . dare use in
this red ball!!n, )here . a inhabited b' space( .t has bec!e ' 04H( On the stran"e nuen !#
this s!und, le#t !%er #r! dr!)ned lan"ua"es, . shall shape the c!nteplati%e 'th( The nucleus,
'sel#( Bi%e it tie and it )ill bec!e licheni;ed !%er )ith #ables, crusted in -e)els and parables,
#!ssili;ed, #iltered, crushed, bathed in sp!res, ade !re %e"etable than epires, sn!)ed under
)ith di%inities, K!n6 Opa6( Ne%er as& e the precise latitude and l!n"itude !# hea%en( .t is as
re!te as the "reat r!llin" )hale, )hate%er !cean she cr!sses( There is n! lan"ua"e, n!t e%en the
ne) spatial lan"ua"e )hich can d! -ustice t! l!neliness( T! the re!te 0!nah, shut in this #urnished
bladder, blinded a)a' #r! c!ntinent t! 'ell!) c!ntinent, acr!ss aps as 'ell!) as c!in, deltas,
s)aps, "reen belts !# #ertilit'(
. sit here, secure in the interpretati!n !# the phen!enal )!rld ab!ut e, #ed at re"ular
ties, absentl' pic&in" atter t! pieces( . ha%e a b!!& in ' hands, but . d! n!t &n!) )hat it is
an' !re( There is n!thin" but this ist risin" #r! ' an&les and ch!&in" e( Ver' !ccasi!nall'
it sees that . can hear #u"iti%e n!ises !# the !ld )!rld, real !r ia"inar' . d! n!t as&( There is n!
realit'( Onl' phen!ena( . "i%e the up t! '!u as the' !ccur> drubeats, the r!u"ed #aces !# d!lls,
' l!%er bleedin" at the !uth, a t!' pist!l, #ire)!r&s, the abrupt "!at #ace !# <an s9uealin" in a
red ist, a pac&et !# #rench letters, a dustbin, d!"/s bl!!d, ne)ts, r!asted car%in"s, #l' butt!ns,
us&, lilies, the l!"!s( <hen!ena in a ist !# %ap!ri;ed bl!!d( 4t ties it sees that the red )alls
are !%in" !ut)ard, bec!in" lar"er and lar"er( . ha%e n! sensati!n !# chan"e, h!)e%er, !#
bec!in"( Onl' the dead #ull )ei"ht !#bein", !# .$7 N! d!ubt s!e)here in the arctic the blac&
)hale, Hilda, cur%es and pla's, steain" at the !ist n!strils, )ith a passi!n#l!)er at each ear(
This ust be the end, the terinus( . a )aitin" #!re%er in space( .t is tie that &ills !ne(
$pace is !re durable than l!"ic can su""est( .# . th!u"ht . )ere "!in" t! be b!rn a"ain . sh!uld
be"in t! )hiper, t! p!ut2 ia"ine lea%in" this plush8lined niche in the #!re%er( 4n!ther )!rld*
3!n/t be ridicul!us( 4s the #etus is rep!rted t! ha%e said> +. ha%e been here s! l!n" ./%e s!rt !# "!t
attached t! the !ld place(+ K!n6 Opa6( The less said ab!ut it, the better( .# . )ere t! tr' and
translate this e6istence int! ters !re easil' underst!!d, . i"ht sa' that this happiness, in )hich
. a n!thin", is sipl' the turnin" !## !# bein"> the enterin" int! !# .$7 4n e9uati!n )hich cann!t
reall' be rendered, e%en b' 4rabian #i"ures( En!u"h t! tell '!u that it is #r! this sprin"b!ard that .
ust a&e the #inal di%e int! di%init', hell8hi"h, )ith ' b!d' prepared t! ride tie as "a'l' as a
c!r&( ( ( (
The )hale bunds a)a' acr!ss the charts, c!%erin" the )ith a #lic& !# the tail, and the little
0!nah sits l!c&ed in his cabin )ith ne%er e%en a p!rth!le thr!u"h )hich he can distract hisel# )ith
ia"inar' )!rlds( B' n!), !# c!urse, . a bunded )ith bl!!d( 1' !nl' entertainent is in s!#tl'
)al&in" r!und the )alls, repeatin" up ' !)n nae, and chuc&lin" 9uietl'( . a happ'( $uch "reat
th!u"hts pass thr!u"h the che)in" "u in ' craniu that . l!n" t! perpetuate the, but there is
n!t a scrap !# paper( With ' &ni#e . car%e a #e) !# the !n the )alls, but it is tirin" )!r&( 1'
b!!ts are #ull !# bl!!d( The #inal ia"e !# the prespatial )!rld has passed be#!re e and "!ne( That
)as last Wednesda':'es, the s!lid Wednesda' !# the ne) M!diac( .t )as the heraldic %isi!n !#
1iss $ith pla'in" !n the usical sp!n"e, )hile t! the ri"ht !# her a sunlit an )as pissin" a s!lid
strea !# "!ld c!ins a"ainst a )all( $'pt!atic !# disinte"rati!n*** 4nd )h' the hell n!t* The
last ner%e in ' b!d' has been t!uched( . ha%e "i%en in, #!lded up( in th' !ris!ns a' ' sins
reebered be( <erhaps s!e)here the )hale )ill c!e up )ith a !uth#ul !# che)ed liners,
)ater lilies, cr!)ns, !ct!p!ds, "rand pian!s, and pincushi!ns( Wh! &n!)s*
But the less said ab!utthat, the better( K!n6 Opa6( 1u/s the )!rd and . duc& under(
BOOK THREE

The cheat 9uesti!n, then, is acti!n, the per#ecti!n !# !ne/s acti!ns( This is the pr!ble )hich
"na)s at us in these l!n" )inter !!nli"hts> a pr!ble under )hich the pers!nalit' stru""les, and
s!eties sees t! #l!)er2 t! ta&e !n dist!rti!ns, shad!)s, printed ne"ati%es !# the #lu6 !utside( in
'sel# . a n!t t!tal( There are s! an' chin&s in the steel that the !uter shapes !# thin"s intrude,
eat in a!n" the !ri#ices li&e rust( .t is the endless duel )ith !ne/s an!n'it' that )ea&ens !ne( $ee
)hat Bre"!r' sa's(
Here be"ins an e6tract #r! Bre"!r'/s 3iar'>
1' ia"inati!n has bec!e a %ast luber r!! !# ideas( There is n! d!"a )hich d!es n!t
#ind an ech! #r! 'sel#( . adit all !# the( There is n! necessit' t! !%e because . cann!t
escape( . sit here b' the #ire )ith a b!!& !pen !n ' lap and the )ireless turned !n #ull, and tr' t!
establish ' identit':that 'th )hich is supp!sed t! e6ist behind the scu##le !# )!rds in '
brain( This "reen diar', )hich be"an as a s!rt !# pa)&' literar' #an#ar!nade, has ta&en a sudden
upcur%e !n t! the "raph !# e!ti!n( .t has bec!e necessar' t! e( 3e <r!#undis, etc(, etc( But . d!
n!t belie%e in B!d( . ha%e endured an' ia"inar' thin"s, sittin" here )ith ' little b!!&, al!ne,
and a#raid !# a&in" a #!!l !# 'sel#( . ha%e )ritten hundreds !# tra"ic parts )hich . shall ne%er be
able t! act( . shall ne%er e6press an'thin"( <it' e, . )as b!rn dub( 3eath, the !st "raci!us
pla')ri"ht !# e!ti!nal scenes, has #ailed t! de%ise e%en a )al&8!n )hich . a n!t t!! ner%!us t!
pla'( ,au"h i# '!u )ant( $ince she died . cann!t bear the dar&ness( . cann!t bear the eternal sel#8
e6ainati!n !# ' acti!ns( . cann!t bear the !!n/s intrusi!n, )anderin" li&e an ept' s&ull and
a##lictin" e )ith the c!nsci!usness !# sel#( 1'sel#, that l!aths!e "uest )hich . carr' !n '
bac&, li&e the !ld an !# the sea( A!u see, there is n!t, has ne%er been, and ne%er )ill be, !ne
!rsel !# sp!ntaneit' in e( 1' acti!ns are n!t deterined b' the )ind, b' the thunder, b' an'
natural sel#less spirit, but b' that l!c!!ti%e apparatus )hich . carr' in a tin b!6 under '
)aistc!at( . a an insect( T!ni"ht . undressed be#!re the irr!r and e6ained ' b!d' %er'
care#ull', )ith a l!athin" that . a incapable !# c!unicatin" t! the paper( The ribs han"in" there
li&e a ba"pipe7 The sall le"s, sli"htl' b!)ed2 the #laccid du"s, the bell', the breastb!ne7 . a
in#initel' !ut!ded, in#initel' sec!ndhand( 4 sec!ndhand pian! in the =aled!nian ar&et c!uld
"i%e ' teeth p!ints( 4s #!r the ia"e !# the e'es, under their arr!)s, )hat an a9uariu !# #ish'
repr!aches7
3estin' has been altered b' her death( Aet she is n!t the #i"ure . a a##licted )ith !n these
)inter ni"hts( .t is al)a's 'sel# . laent, ' !)n death #!r )hich . !urn( . thin& !# her as the
addict thin&s !# his dru"( <erhaps Bracie )as the !ne sp!ntane!us acti!n in ' li#e( Fla)ed, 'es(
=risscr!ssed, er!ded, but an acti!n in itsel#( 4re )e, then, s! precise* ,et e use a phrase that e%en
the critics )ill understand( Bracie then, t!!& e !ut !# 'sel#( in her, )ithin her !)n i"n!rance, .
created #!r 'sel# al!st a ne) pers!nalit'( . )as c!n%alescent( +One )!uld /ardl' &n!) '!u since
. c!e al!n",+ she rear&ed !nce( +A!u used t! be s! sh' li&e, Bre"!r'( N!t li&e the sae an
'!u aren/t(+ . )as una)are that there sh!uld be this, the #inal attriti!n !# bein"(
. ha%e l!!&ed in)ard at last, h!nestl', as . ha%e ne%er d!ne be#!re, as . shall ne%er d! a"ain(
. l!!&ed in)ard, as Epictetus directs, t! see the )ar li"ht !# ' !)n "enius, t! be satis#ied b' it,
#illed( But all . can disc!%er is these stran"e #i"ures !# "rie#, this as9ue !# the l!st Bre"!ries,
)hich li%e !ut their subarine li#e behind the )ater' blue e'es in the irr!r( There is n! audit at
the end !# tie )hich can ruin e an' !re( . ha%e dra)n a str!&e acr!ss the paper( .t is #inished(
4n aut!n!' )as supp!sed t! e6ist in e( . petted 'sel# )ith the idea, . #attened 'sel# )ith it(
Dnder the interr!"ati!n !# the !!n and the h!t -a;; . ha%e been #!rced t! adit that it )as all
#a&ed( There is n!thin" in there t! spea& up #!r e( Onl' these stran"e #i"ures !# "rie# )hich
parade acr!ss the paper under the s9uea&' nib !# a #!untain pen( +N!urish '!ur "rie#,+ said
=haberlain, +it is "!!d t! be br!&en d!)n, ade de#enseless( ,et the tears !ut i# the' )ant t!
c!e(+ . a c!r&( 4 bundle !# h'sterical )ires sittin" here( 3! n!t a&e e repeat a"ain that it is
n!t priaril' she . !urn( 1' disease is e"!centric, and there#!re !rtal( . a laentin" that
per#ect acti!n )hich . shall ne%er ha%e tie t! d!( . )as b!rn t!n"ue8tied, '!u see(
,ast ni"ht as . )al&ed the c!rrid!rs !# the h!tel . cae acr!ss a d!!r )hich )as a-ar( $tuc&
t! it, )hite and alt!"ether b!n', )as a hand )ith a )eddin" rin" !n it(
This ipers!nal cipher reinded e at !nce !# ' arria"e t! Brace:the #antastic
9ui6!tr' !# the idea( +3! '!u reall' ean it, ate*+ she as&ed e )ith that curi!us 9uic& breathin"
she had )hen she )as surprised( The ans)er t! the 9uesti!n )hich '!u are ab!ut t! put t! e is
sipl', pride( . reali;ed that, starin" at the er!ded 'ell!) circle !# "!ld last ni"ht( 1' #riend
Tar9uin had said t! e )ith a sni""er> +A!u/re l!sin" '!ur reputati!n, ' dear( ,i%in" )ith a tart
9uite !penl' here( .t/s all !%er the h!tel(+ . &ne) then that the "ae )as up( En"land is the !ne
c!untr' )here the )!rd +#reed!+ is used )ith!ut c'nicis( B' statute !ne is #ree( B' !pini!n !ne
is treated li&e a cretin( in a place li&e the Re"ina there is n! la), !nl' !pini!n( . "i%e '!u the picture
!# 1rs( 0uniper c!plainin" t! the ana"eress !n an autun a#tern!!n( $uch a shae '!u c!uld
n!t eet the lad'( 4 %ir"init' !# brass )hich handcu##ed her ilitar' husband and &ept hi d!)n
#!r t)ent' 'ears in the )ilds !# .ndia( $ince he died her !nl' interest in li#e, in the #elicit!us phrase
!# =haberlain/s )i#e, has been t! t)ist the &nac&ers !# e%er'!ne in si"ht( $he nearl' t)isted ine(
Tar9uin cae d!)n )ith the ne)s !ne ni"ht, and listenin" t! his acc!unt !# the #acti!n
)hich )as ran"ed a"ainst us, . )as surprised at ' !)n #antastic ra"e( E%en lice, a#ter all, d! n!t
pre' up!n !ne an!ther( 4 petiti!n had been dra#ted and circulated )ith the naes le#t blan&( 1'
sins )ere s! )ell &n!)n and !# such )ei"ht that it )as ip!ssible #!r !ne n!t t! &n!) at !nce t!
)h! the paper re#erred(
Tar9uin had been appr!ached #!r his si"nature and had supplied it:a #act #!r )hich he #elt
a little "uilt'( =haberlain did )hat he c!uld t! help( This c!nsisted in burstin" int! the l!un"e
a#ter dinner and sa'in" in his !st indi"nant t!nes> +./%e -ust heard ab!ut this scandal!us business
and ./ dis"usted at the cheap beha%i!r !# all '!u !ld bitches( What '!u need, 1rs( 0uniper, is a
papal bull(+ Naturall', this )as !re a hindrance than a help( His )i#e )as insulted in the street b'
1rs( Feli6, )h! )as 9uite clear ab!ut )h!se side 0esus )as !n in this #ra'( 4dded t! this )as the
an6iet' that Bracie )!uld ha%e an!ther attac& and ha%e t! "! t! bed #!r a )hile( Tar9uin heard
1rs( R!bbins ann!uncin" t! the l!un"e that Bracie had a naeless disease( 4ll this, !# c!urse, !ne
b!re )ith phle"( E%en )hen the d!ct!r said8he c!uld n!t attend her a"ain #!r #ear !# l!sin" a
lucrati%e s!urce !# practice, . c!uld #ind n!thin" )itherin" t! sa'( . had bec!e "ranite( Bracie
hersel# burst int! tears, put her tail bet)een her le"s, and said that she ust either lea%e e !r )e
ust b!th !%e( .t )as e6actl' this p!int that scre)ed d!)n the lid pr!perl'( . )ill n!t be
inter#ered )ith( . )ill n!t be t!uched b' the unclean( . )ill n!t( in the &ind !# !!d in )hich
urder is s! easil' c!itted . t!ld her she ust arr' e( .t )as then she rear&ed, +3! '!u
reel' ean it, ate*+
What a b!re l!'alties are( +O# c!urse, '!u little #!!l(+
+Bre"!r', ./%e n!t been a "!!d "irl,+ she said, +./ll a&e '!u a bl!!d' a)#ul issis . )ill(
But i# '!u reel' )ant e ./ll tr'(+
+Want '!u*+ F!r s!e reas!n . )as an"ril' c!nteptu!us( Then . sa) that the little charade
ust be indul"ed in( .t )as t!! uch part !# her s!cial upbrin"in" t! see its ludicr!us8ness( 4 blind
sp!t( But the daa"e t! e, t! ' pride ( ( ( A!u see, e%en this )as n!t sel#less( The )retched
resp!nsibilit' !# !ur li%es7 4cti!n al)a's in resp!nse t! !utside #!rces( Ne%er a pure irresp!nsible
acti!n, the thee !# the Ta!ist editati!n(
Well, the arria"e )as s!leni;ed i# '!u can use the e6pressi!n( The re"istrar )as bald(
The )itnesses )ere ,!b! and =haberlain( The da' )as c!ld( Bracie c!u"hed endlessl'( The
recepti!n c!nsisted !# a tea in the tin' #lat )here =haberlain hatched his schees( The #!rced
s!lenit' !# e%er'!ne, the cere!n', )ere depl!rable( Onl' =haberlain )as "a', and pr!p!sed
the health !# the blushin" bride in a sh!rt speech( Bracie, called up!n t! repl', said> +O n! . can/t,
reel' . can/t( A!u all been %er' %er' "!!d t! us, ha%en/t the' Bre"!r'*+
Fr! re!te re"i!ns !# ice . called 'sel# bac&( 4nd heard ' !)n tinn' %!ice rear&,
+Aes, ' dear(+ 1' pride )as #inall' )!unded( The %ict!r' reained )ith these "!!d8natured !a#s
)h! )ere tr'in" t! be s! bus' and s! -!ll', d!n/t '!u &n!)( 1a&e it eas' #!r the, d!n/t '!u &n!)(
Tr' and pretend that n!thin" has happened( <ut the at their ease, d!n/t '!u &n!)( . )al&ed h!e
bareheaded( F!ll!)ed a dinner at ' #lat ?!ur #lat@ at )hich a "reat deal !# )ine )as c!nsued2 at
)hich =lare all!)ed Tar9uin t! #ill his "lass2 at )hich Bracie becae alarin"l' the piercin"
h!stess, and rear&ed, +Oh, d! ha%e an!ther p!rti!n )!n/t '!u, 1r( =haberlain*+
4#ter the' had "!ne and the )ashin" up )as stac&ed #!r the char, Bracie cae int! the
dra)in" r!! and ann!unced, +Well, that/s )hat . call a l!t !# reel sp!rts, d!n/t '!u thin&*+
$hall . "! !n and rec!llect )hat a #ailure it all )as* . had ended it all s! nicel' )ith Bracie
d'in" in the little bedr!!( .t )as planned !ut superbl', )asn/t it* The teleph!ne rin"in"( The hal#8
sec!nd !# eternit' )hen the li"ht )as s)itched !n, and Bracie la' there "!""lin" at the ceilin"(
Aes, it )as all set( E%en d!)n t! the last little t!uch> "!in" up sl!)l' t! the #r!nt d!!r, up the
stairs, !utside, t! )here the sn!) la' thic&2 the s!#t laps2 "atep!sts bathed in )hiteness2 hed"es
cut clean, #retted c!al8dar& a"ainst the p!)dered trees( B!in" up #!r a breath !# air, . had intended
t! put it( $tandin" shi%erin" at the "ate t! a&e )ater, )hile ' )h!le li#e la' be#!re e, )ritten
in the sn!)( ,ies, all lies( 1' disease is the disease !# the d)ar#( T! a&e 'sel# plausible . a
#!rced int! a s!rt !# sel#8a"ni#icati!n !# acti!n, !# th!u"ht( . a #!rced t! a&e 'sel# transcend
realit'(
That is )h' Bracie )as s! )!nder#ul( $! aptl' cut !ut #!r '!u in "reen in&, shaped #!r a
#ine slic& tra"ed'( T! tell the !b-ecti%e truth )!uld be t! cut ' !)n thr!at( That is n!t h!) she
died( But each line . add t! this a&es e !re and !re reluctant t! #inish the -!b( Hara8&iri( 4
&ni#e turned r!und in the b!)els:but n!t the b!)els !# c!passi!n( The b!)els !# pride( .# .
c!uld "et at the ulcer )hich has p!is!ned ' acti!ns . )!uld stir it )ith ' nib until the blac& bile
and pus and splinters "ushed #!rth( <it' e, . )as b!rn dead(
There is n! r!! #!r the class' ir!n' )ith )hich . ha%e treated the thee hithert!, )hich is
al!st ' !nl' literar' )ear( The !!n is shinin" !n these pa"es( A!ur "enuine ir!nist is ne%er
"rilled s!lel' !n the ir!n !# pride, as . a "rilled( The "reen #!untain )hich starts #r! this pen is
p!is!ned at s!urce( False ir!n'2 a as& ba&ed d!)n ti"ht !%er the real interpla' !# #acial uscles(
B!d, t! #ind )!rds )hich )!uld bite d!)n, ri"ht d!)n t! the pure lustral s!urce #r! )hich
per#ect acti!n #l!)s( This ultiate puri#icati!n is the thee !# ' editati!ns all ni"ht l!n"( . tr',
belie%e e, . tr'( When the )ireless shuts d!)n . anestheti;e 'sel#, ' !)n b!d', ' !)n
9uintessential sel#, and )atch it carried t! the theater( The aphitheater is cr!)ded )ith ad%!cates(
Dnder the )a6en arcs . see the cl!th spread( . a )heeled !n the "reat s!#t tr!lle' t! a p!int !#
%anta"e( $trict )hite aut!at!ns parade )ith necessar' apparatus( The as&ed #ace !# 'sel# leans
d!)n !%er ' b!d', selects an instruent, and be"ins( 4 l!n" bl!!dless slit in the band !# 'ell!)(
4 s!und as !# a ra;!r cuttin" sil&( 4 9uiet hiss and splash and in#inite as9ue !# !%eent a!n"
the )hite #i"ures, bus' as ants( The "utters are sl!)l', n!iselessl' bried )ith bl!!d( 3iscarded
li%ers, &idne's, trac&s !# c!l!red "uts dr!p a)a' #r! under the sheet and pl!p int! an enael pail(
The 'ell!) en%el!pe !# #lesh )hich is ' bell' bec!es e%er !re #laccid, !re ept'( . tell '!u
this "!es !n all ni"ht, e%er' ni"ht( . a th!r!u"hl' !pened and e6pl!red( 1' "uts are eptied( 4nd
t! n! purp!se( .t is n! "!!d )hats!e%er( T!da' . a still )hat . )as 'esterda' !r the da' be#!re( .t
is n! "!!d(
Here . a, . )ant t! sa' al)a's, ta&e e and rip e !pen( There is a pri;e !##ered t! an'!ne
)h! can #ind the essential Herbert Bre"!r', alias 3eath( These staerin"s betra' e, but n!
atter( . a )ritin" #!r the public !# the daned( ,et this bec!e a piece !# superb cart!"raph'(
,et e be laid !ut here in relie#, t! be p!red !%er b' pr!#essi!nal students !# the s!ul/s "e!l!"'(
$ee, strata b' strata> the !st delicate lainati!ns( $u##erin", dear !nes, has ade e ar!real(
A!u )ill #ind )ritten !n e all th!se s'pt!s !# strain that '!u can see !n the #aces !# !ld act!rs(
There is n! %ariati!n #r! the a"netic n!rth !# arti#ice( T!uch e, there is abs!lutel' n! char"e(
Obser%e, . a utterl' eta!rphic, . #all a)a' in l!n" r!tten #la&es(
$!eties . ia"ine that it is n!t ., n!t reall' ., in )hich . read these s'pt!s !# deca'( .t
is ' )!rld d'in" !n e, )ith e, in e( $tran"e tunes see t! bl!) ab!ut the sn!)lit dra)in"
r!! these da's(
Bracie, )hen '!u died, )hen '!u reall' died there !%erl!!&in" the sea, c!uld '!u ia"ine
that ., turnin" #r! '!ur little pinched8up #ace )ith the &n!)in" "ain "rin !n it, sh!uld )rin" '
hands t!"ether in an intense "rie#(N!t #!r '!u7 N!t #!r '!ur diss!luti!n, but #!r ' !)n* A!u p!!r
)hite s'pt! !# ' )!rld, did '!u &n!) that the trite as& !# s!rr!) . )!re hid the "reat
erciless #ear and ra"e )hich '!ur death #!rced !n e* A!u c!uld n!t "uess that, rec!ilin" #r!
'!ur dead !uth as #r! a brandin" ir!n, . )as rec!ilin" #r! 'sel#:the in#init' !# ept' ./s
)h! had 'et tie t! )al&, tal&in" !# !rdinar' thin"s in !rdinar' places(
N!, . sa' t! 'sel#, let her be( 3!n/t thin& !# her( $he is -ust a pa)n in this phil!s!phic
"ae )hich '!u are pla'in" and )hich is "!in" t! &ill '!u( ,et her be( The accent is n!t !n the
c!!nplace l!ss !# a b!d', !# a lau"h ab!ut the h!use, #eet !n the stairs, )ar b!d' in a )ar
bed2 it is the l!ss !# the ebr'! Bre"!r' )hich )as b!rn in her, and )hich she t!!& a)a' int!
death )ith her( . )as )ith child b' her( . )as &ic&in" in the )!b( What ri"ht ha%e '!u !r an'!ne
t! -ud"e ' s!rr!), n!t #!r her, but #!r the irreparable l!ss !# ' "er* The real stru""le )as n!t
bet)een us but in e( ,et her be( 3eath is -ust !ne !# th!se atheatical c!nstants )h!se %alue )e
ust accept as appr!6iate:t! ten places !# decials( $he used t! sa' t! e, a#ter )e )ere
arried> +Bre"!r', )e/re n!t pals %er' uch, are )e* . ean )e d!n/t li&e the sae thin"s, d! )e*
. d!n/t care #!r a l!t !# !ld b!!&s li&e '!u d!, and '!u d!n/t care #!r the pitchers and Bar' =!!per
and all( 3! '!u* Oi, ans)er '!ur issus )hen she tal&s t! '!u, !r ./ll cl!ut '!u !ne(+
+N!, )e d!n/t %er' uch, d! )e*+
+Then . tell '!u )hat(+ That )ith a seri!us t!ne( +.# '!u/ll c!e t! the <all' !nce a )ee&
)ith e, ./ll read !ne "!!d b!!& e%er' )ee& and "et ipr!%eent( ./ n!t %er' brain', but ./
9uic& !n the upta&e, an/t .*+
.# . had n!t been n!urishin" 'sel# !n her, this idea )!uld ha%e s!unded less #ri"htenin"(
$! )e )ere t! establish p!ints !# re#erence bet)een each !ther* . )as t! learn the ruba and she
help hersel# t! slices !# ipr!%in" Bibb!n( <erhaps V!ltaire, !r Butler( ?. )!uld li&e '!u t! &n!)
that . a )ell read(@
The char !# the little scraps !# "!ssip is in their c!pleteness( Their c!pleteness !#
#alseh!!d( The pr!cess, alas, is t!! siple( Ta&e a th!u"ht #r! its c!nte6t and '!u can a&e it
ean an'thin" '!u ,i&e( A!u see, )hen Bracie arried e, it )as as i# she had died !n e( The
eta!rph!sis )as alarin"( While . had been an e9ui%!cal, a rather 9ueer and undependable
l!%er, there )as al)a's a pinch !# "!!d salt t! seas!n the dish( There )as al)a's a head che#, in
#act '!ur huble ser%ant( But an ec!n!ic dependence !n a husband t! a pers!n hi&e Brace eans
a c!plete s!cial independence( $he is irresp!nsible, anch!red #inall' b' a strip !# printed
parchent, and a #e) lae )!rds ubled b' a bald8headed an( There#!re she is #ree( .t be"an
al!st as s!!n as the )eddin" "uests le#t> a critical sur%e' !# the #lat and a care#ul enunciati!n !#
its liitati!ns( +We/ll "et it all #i6ed up,+ she said, +s! it/ll l!!& nice and din&' )hen '!ur #riends
c!e( . )ant t! )!r& hard #!r '!u, Bre"!r'(+ That )as h!) it be"an( . "i%e '!u #ull perissi!n t!
rec!"ni;e this as c!ic relie#( There )ere curi!us additi!ns t! ' taste#ul set !# #urniture( Hide!us
bab!! tr!lle's, bead curtains( 1' beauti#ul s!#a )as called inele"ant2 it )as su""ested that )e
sh!uld ha%e it c!%ered in red daas&,)ith tassels( +We ust "et the parl!r shipshape,+ she
rear&ed !nce !r t)ice, and . rec!"ni;ed a ne) n!te in her %!ice( There )as the rin" !# the <en"e
atr!n c!in" t! li#e in her t!nes( .t is di##icult t! adit that . be"an t! l!athe her( . l!athed her
because . )as in l!%e )ith the !rdinar', uninhibited Brace )h! )as sure !# n!thin"2 and )h! b'
!bedience al!ne aintained her precari!us h!ld !n ' a##ecti!ns( 4s a stran"er she )as a para"!n(
4s a )i#e she pr!duced n!thin" but this cr!p !# )art' #urniture, a #e) c!p'b!!& aph!riss ?!ld
st'le@, and a bad teper in e( .# it be"an )ith the parl!r it c!uld !nl' end )ith ' #riends(
Tar9uin )as t! be sl!)l' dr!pped( +He/s a &ind !# pans',+ she rear&ed( +. d!n/t li&e it( . seen that
&ind be#!re( He/s a )inn'(+ Ne6t =lare( N!t that he )as e%er a #riend !# ine( But n!) that she )as
a respectable arried atr!n she )as an"r' at the th!u"ht !# hi( $he resented hi( ,!b! and
<ere; passed uster( Their anners )ere s! l!%el'( But =lare i"ht 'et tr' and sha&e the
ec!n!ic stabilit' !# arria"e b' a re%i%al !# their "reat l!%e( He )as t! be cut dead #r! the
r!!ts(
There )ere r!)s, 'es( There )ere "reat tearin"s !# chec&ered s!#a cushi!ns, )ill#ul
sashin" !# the chin!iseries )ith )hich ' sp!use had lined the b!!&shel%es( But t! ' h!rr!r .
#!und that Bracie )as n!t t! be c!)ed an' !re( $he )as a )i#e, b' 0esus =hrist, and she )as
"!in" t! "i%e e !# her best )hether . li&ed it !r n!t( 4nd all the "l!ri!us isunderstandin"s !n
)hich !ur l!%e had been built n!) cae #!r)ard and c!ntributed t! the #ri"ht#ul d!estic upr!ars(
Tr'in" t! e6plain, )ith ' usual sch!larl' precisi!n, -ust )hat it )as she )as d!in", she )!uld
enra"e e )ith a burst !# sni%elin" and the accusati!n> +A!u tr' t! a&e e !ut a little tart, that/s
all( A!u thin& ./ n!t class' en!u"h #!r '!ur )i#e because . d!n/t spea& pr!per( . tell '!u Bre"!r',
./ d!in" ' best, aren/t .*+ .# . p!inted !ut that that )as n!t the p!int, she )!uld )hiper> +A!u
-ust )ant a pr!stitute here t! use( A!u d!n/t )ant e t! tr' and "i%e '!u a h!e(+ Ban"7 an!ther
piece !# T!ttenha =!urt R!ad china( 4ll this )as unbearabl' tra"ic, unbearabl' c!ic( What )as
reall' #atal t! !ur relati!ns, h!)e%er, )as the sl!)l' alterin" c!s!"raph' !# !ur s!cial li#e( There
is n!thin" li&e pride #!r "i%in" !ne the interpreti%e #acult'( . #latter 'sel# . can pla' the s!cial
astr!l!"er as )ell as an'!ne:shall )e sa' <r!ust* The "lance, the li#t !# a #!re#in"er, the attitude
be#!re a irr!r, the hair8tri""er eanin" !# a )!rd:these c!nstitute the #urniture !# a )!rld in
)hich . a t!! uch at h!e( 4ll this, !# c!urse, is a prett' )a' !# sa'in" that !ur arria"e )as
n!t a success( The enterprise )as underta&en as a de#ense a"ainst the ri"hts !# an indi%idual( .t )as
t! end in estran"in" e #r! all th!se )h! had bac&ed e up in it( The bri"htl' c!l!red tesserae
)hich #!red the !saic !# !ur li%es:and s! !n(
.n the be"innin", let us sa', Bracie )as an asset t! the ena"erie( $he )as ausin" because
there )ere n! si"ns !# seri!usness !n ' part( $he had a certain chic2 as '!u i"ht sa', a pet
ar!set i"ht ha%e, i# it )ere )!rn !n the le#t sh!ulder !# a =harl!tte $treet "enius( .t )as a case
!#> +=!e al!n" and eet Bre"!r'( He/s s! !ri"inal, ' dear( He &eeps a per#!rin" )!an(+
$!ethin" !# that s!rt( 4s s!!n as the aid becae a atr!n the )h!le an"le !# %isi!n altered( .t
)as n! l!n"er . )h! )as 9uaint( .t )as Bracie( .)as p!!r little Bre"!r'( 4nd she hersel# )as n!t s!
uch 9uaint as b!rin" and sill'( Her a##ectati!ns, her &n!)in"ness, her #atu!us little cliches( .t )as
ip!ssible, in #act, #!r pe!ple t! c!e and en-!' ' c!pan', )ith!ut bein" #!rced t! "! thr!u"h
the ultrasuburban pala%er )hich Bracie insisted !n(
4nd then, h!) th!se bab!! pieces ran&led7 But . )!uld ha%e #urnished the #lat in
chint;es, i# !nl' she c!uld ha%e been pre%ented #r! p!is!nin" the sprin"s !# relati!nship(
=haberlain )as h!rri#ied b' her st!lid and utterl' lad'li&e c!p!sure( +What a little 1a"dalene,+
he rear&ed, as usual ne%er sl!) t! sa' )hat )as !st truth#ul and !st inc!n%enient( +One !#
these da's she )ill sa', /1rs( Bre"!r' t! '!u, '!un" an(/ $eri!usl' Bre"!r', )here d!es this tra
ride end*+
=an '!u ia"ine e rear&in", +. thin& it/s sh!rtsi"hted !# '!u, '!un" an, t! e6pect e
t! help '!u critici;e ' !)n )i#e*+
The =haberlains hardl' e%er called a#ter that( One "ets used t! bein" %er' uch al!ne(
H!)e%er . issed the #ine r!llin" ar"uents, the eternal 9uesti!ns !# desire, arria"e, etc(
O# c!urse, there )ere spaces bet)een the stars !ccasi!nall'( When she )as ill, )ea& as a
&itten, there )ere rarer !ents, )hen !ur li%es seeed t! burn up a"ain, t)ist up int! red shapes
!# real #ire and tenderness( <assi!n #l!urishes !n tears and sel#8repr!aches( But the c!ntact )as
tenu!us2 a precari!us cr!ssin" #r! island t! island !%er iense "ul#s( $uperip!sed al)a's
acr!ss !ur )!rld )as the n!tati!n !# the disease, )ith its !%eents up and d!)n the chart,
unpredictable( Aes, it )as ' )!rld d'in", . can see that n!), in retr!spect2 #allin" a)a' int!
)anness and death( With!ut an' s!rt !# e!ti!n )e )ere )aitin" #!r the last c!n%ulsi!n !# atter,
the last sha&' dred"in" !ut !# the lun"s, bri"ht spurt !# bl!!d, unt'in" !# #in"ers and &nees(
. )!uld "i%e an'thin" #!r it t! ha%e been as . )r!te it( in spite !# ' de#ects the p!tential
e!ti!n is there, '!u ust adit it( .t sh!uld ha%e been a !uth8t!8!uth a##air )ith an ele"ant
epi"raph and a crac&er !tt! #!r an epil!"ue( Bracie died -ust at the tie )hen . had n! e!ti!n
)hats!e%er t! spend !n her> din"il', surr!unded b' nurses and heartless starched bl!uses, in a
B!urne!uth nursin" h!e( What th!u"hts )ent thr!u"h that sill' little head at the last !ne d!es
n!t &n!)( There )as n! !%eent in the r!!, e6cept the pr!di"i!us !%eent !# the sea( 1ist,
and the rain hissin" al!n" the c!ncrete arine parade( in the silence '!u c!uld hear the )a%es
c!bin" up acr!ss '!ur th!u"hts, )ashin" the, suc&in" bac& the ipurities as the' )ent bac&(
N!t e%en the #ashi!nable nubness, . assure '!u( ,i"htheaded as a bell( The ri"!r had set the
bashed #ace !# ' little tart in a =hrist8li&e "rin !# pure ibecilit'( in ' ia"inati!n . #ell up!n
the c!rpse, and enacted a )h!le scene !ut !# a Bree& tra"ed'( There )as n!thin" !%in" in the
r!! e6cept the "i"antic sea lic&in" the )ind!)panes, and ' th!u"hts in their her!ic ie( 4ll
' li#e . ha%e d!ne this:ia"ined ' acti!ns( . ha%e ne%er ta&en part in the( .t is the catharsis
!# pure acti!n )hich is s! )!undin" an abs!lute t! c!nteplate n!)( .n%ultuati!n7 3ail' . pierce
the ia"e !# 'sel#, and n!thin" happens(
?. a !bsessed b' the ia"inar' tri%ialit' !# all this( .s this -ust an!ther tic b!rn !#
di##idence* 4 . c!ncerned, here, pri%atel', standin" !n ' !)n s!ul/s "r!und, )ith the creati!n !#
literature*@
Hist!r' is a stud' )hich has n!ne !# the %en! !# realit' in it( A!ur pr!ta"!nist, '!ur
ch!rus, '!ur cr!)d> e%er'thin" !n the sta"e has n! !re pers!nalit' than an !ld pac& !# cards( But
aut!bi!"raph' is an!ther atter alt!"ether> i# '!u are h!nest, a c!ntinual, a pain#ul &in!sis( .# '!u
are dish!nest, an eternal #ear(
. ha%e been rereadin" these pa"es2 a little )ear' and dis"usted at the )a' . pre' up!n
'sel#2 a little h!rri#ied at the s9ueals )hich "! up #r! the( 1e!ries !# 3e <r!#undis7
$ince . returned #r! B!urne!uth:al!ne, the %er' )!rd is li&e a bell:. ha%e had all '
tie t! 'sel#( . see n! !ne, e6cept !ccasi!nall' Tar9uin, !ccasi!nall' 1!r"an( There is n!thin" t!
d!, n!thin" t! be d!ne( Aet, this is a lie, because this tie has been the !st critical in ' li#e2 the
!st %ital, as #ar as the a&in" !# decisi!ns "!es, . ha%e e%er &n!)n( . ha%e been "lad t! be al!ne,
t! re%ise the %ast catal!"ue !# th!u"hts and acti!ns )hich ha%e been b!rn in e( 1' b!d' is here,
li&e a %ast unused librar' in )hich n! !ne has interested hisel# #!r 'ears( 4)are all at !nce !# the
battered %!lues ar!und e, . ha%e been inde6in" the, estiatin" the ental and spiritual caliber
!# their !ri"inal c!llect!r( .t is #ears!e )!r&( Here an Ella Wheeler Wilc!6, there a Freud ( ( (
#urther !n an !ld 1!!re/s 4lanac&, a Baede&er( But )here is the Blac& B!!&:that rep!sit!r' #!r
all the uncut "es !# creati!n* . "r!pe al!n" the shel%es, bund(
This is ' #!rt' da's in the )ilderness( There has been tie t! re%ise, t! ann!tate, t! "l!;e(
Fiat %!luntas( On the anuscript . shall dra) a <h!eni6, )ith its #eathers in #laes2 a ra%in" piece
!# heraldr' t! insist !n the eternal desire in e :t! c!n#ess and be ass!iled( 1ean)hile, . )ander
al!n" in ' pri%ate )ilderness, br!&en8!uthed )ith thirst, huin" the Te 3eu, en%'in"
e%er'!ne( Aes, the butcher, the ba&er, the nun and the candlestic& a&er( The p!rter )h! brin"s e
' eals, and stands li&e a car%in" )ith the "lass !# beer held in his pa)( E%en Tar9uin )h!se
stru""le is n!t )ith the H!l' Bh!st but )ith his !)n )ea&ness(
Bracie/s #ather, n!)( There is a sub-ect #!r en%'( 1' )ire br!u"ht hi d!)n the #!ll!)in"
da'( $all, uscular, )ith !ne !# th!se #ine ascetic heads '!u see in Renaissance #resc!es> a
helet !# sall #ine b!nes, pressin" d!)n in planes t! the teples( His )!rds )ere "narled and
t)isted, it seeed, b' the shel# !# pearl' #alse teeth )hich the' had t! pass( His #irst h!arse 9uer'
as he stepped #r! the train )as, +.s she still #resh*+ Wal&in" t!)ard the )aitin" ta6i . e6plained
that she )as( $ilent he )al&ed beside e, )ith a 9ueer -auntiness, as i# pr!pelled n!t s! uch b'
the !%eent !# his uscles as b' an e6pl!si!n in each #!!t as it t!uched the "r!und( in the ta6i he
undid his s!iled "ra' u##ler, and pr!duced an !ld tin case )ith ci"arettes in it( We s!&ed in
silence( +. didn/t brin" her a,+ he said at last2 +she/s 9ueer, '!u &n!)( Aers, a little 9ueer(+
.n the silence !# auth!rit' )e )ere sh!)n int! a little r!!, )here she la', aused, li&e
s!e !bscene #l!)er dra""ed !ut !# the under)!rld(
Her #ather ad%anced t!)ard her )ith a series !# n!iseless e6pl!si!ns( +. ust sa',+ he
!bser%ed, +the' ade a #ine -!b !# it( 4 #ine -!b(+ Tap, tap, tap, )ent his #in"ernails a"ainst the
)!!d( Aes there )as n! d!ubt( .t )as a #irst8rate -!b( 4s i# c!nteplatin" s!e de#inite "esture he
turned t! e, then st!pped and resued his n!nchalant assessent !# thin"s( . )as s!eh!) a#raid
he )as "!in" t! sha&e hands )ith e !%er the b!d', and c!plient e !n the #ine -!b ./d ade !#
the )h!le business( He stared d!)n )ith his )atch#ul, sli"htl' bl!!dsh!t e'es(
But it )as )hen he li#ted the sheets, and started t! e6aine her !re cl!sel' that a spear
entered ' le#t side2 there )as a 9ualit' !# curi!sit' in his p!se )h!se eanin" . c!uld n!t "uess,
but )hich ade e s!eh!) curi!us !# 'sel# as an interl!per, al!st as i# . )ere intrudin" !n
the unpleasant p!i"nance !# a pri%ate d!estic scene( . turned t! the )ind!) and lit a ci"arette
)ith pr!#!und ebarrassent( .t )as all in e6treel' bad taste:Bracie "i%in" up her "h!st s!
easil', l'in" there s! )an2 and this little nut !# a an runnin" his blunt )!r&an/s thubs !%er her
b!d', as i# he )ere t!uchin" arble, c!nsiderin" its s!!thness( N! !%eent in the r!!, but the
sea( . )as sti#lin" sl!)l' in ' !)n ci"arette s!&e )hen he turned and said, )ith decisi!n, +Well,
that/s that(+
.# there )ere an' pri%ate th!u"hts l!c&ed a)a' in that b!n' s&ull !# his, . did n!t "et a
"lipse !# the( F!r the ni"ht he had ta&en l!d"in"s, he said, in the c!ercial h!tel:the
=aled!nia stern and )ild:)hich )as at the end !# the r!ad( Turned !n his heel a#ter a ci%il
"reetin", and le#t e starin" a#ter hi, d!)n the l!n" rain8shinin" streets( . )al&ed up and d!)n
the dar& parade until nearl' !rnin", tr'in" t! s!rt !ut th!se #ra"entar' ipulses, e!ti!ns,
)hich )ei"hed e d!)n, and put a #!" acr!ss realit'( N!thin" ech!in" in ' ind but the %ast
rep!rts !# the )a%es a"ainst the c!ncrete, the dri;;le !# rain !n ' !uth( 4nd her #ather* 1!re
than e%er an eni"a> sel#8c!ntained, airti"ht, dap8pr!!#2 l!c&ed in silence under the shabb'
!%erc!at and s!iled u##ler2 behind the #ine plate !# b!nes in his s&ull( One c!uld beat a"ainst his
pers!nalit' a"ain and a"ain, )ith a sea !# 9ueries, ad%ances, intiacies, and the stabilit' !# his
p!siti!n )as unaltered( O%er and ab!%e all this, li&e the %er' lun"e and s)in" !# the dar& sea, there
)as the sad rec!"niti!n !# ' #ailure t! i6 the real and the unreal, ' #ailure t! a&e ia"inati!n
li#e( .t )as !nl' then that . c!uld ha%e )ept> #!r 'sel#(
Turnin" a)a' #r! the "ra%eside, be"innin" t! )al& )ith that e6pl!si%e acti!n !# his, he
said, )ith!ut an' s!rt !# e!ti!n, +Well, )hat/s d!ne/s d!ne(+ But the si"h he #etched #r! his %er'
lun"s e6pressed s!ethin" !re than he )!uld e%er be able t! sa'(
We said "!!d8b' in the s!dden s9uare !# the t!)n, s!eh!) reluctant t! part #r! each
!ther( He had a train t! catch, he said( There )as n! tie e%en #!r a drin& at the <l!u"h( . thin& he
)as a#raid !# an' s!rt !# intiac'( $! !## he )ent in his )et u##ler t!)ard the stati!n, li&e a little
dancin" aster(
Retr!spect7 Retr!spect7 What a hi%e !# e!ries . ha%e bec!e( There has been tie, in
this )ilderness, t! acc!unt #!r e%er'thin"> t! e6cuse ' sh!rtc!in"s, t! re8enact ' #ailures, t!
ad-ust ' di##erences )ith destin'( 4b!%e all t! a&e the "reat decisi!n( T! be !r n!t t! be has
been the 9uesti!n #!r t!! l!n"( . a deterined t! ans)er it in the ne"ati%e(
Wal&in" the streets !# B!urne!uth . cae up!n an' #aces . sh!uld &n!), an' places .
sh!uld reeber, an' !lderin" !ld h!uses )hich ' essence %isited in the third c!s!s(
?1etaph'sic is the last re#u"e !# the act!r(@ Trees, shapes, s!&e #r! a ci"arette in the dar&:
strata b' strata ' e!ries )ere laid !ut acr!ss ' dead b!d'2 )heelin" and s&irlin" )ith
an"uish li&e "ulls acr!ss the ner%es( ,!%e e, . )hispered, l!%e e and ta&e e #r! 'sel#( . d!
n!t )ant the "i#t !# #reed!:it has bec!e a pris!n( 4t ni"ht the sea beat li&e a haer a"ainst
' teples( The li"hts !# cars )heeled acr!ss the bedr!! )alls( . had bec!e an inhabitant !# a
pri%ate pande!niu(
On the hill, its "arden hidden in spra', )as the h!use in )hich . li%ed )hen . )as a child(
1' !ther li%es there #!r eternit' a!n" the chipped statuar', the un)eeded )al&s( +Herbert, )ill
'!u e%er sin*+ The )hite r!und #ace !# the )!an ab!%e e, and ' !)n %!ice, +Ne%er, 1!ther(+
$he used t! sa'> +We are such #riends, aren/t )e, ' darlin"* . &n!) e%er' little th!u"ht that passes
in '!ur head(+ Fr! that rear& ' li#e be"ins, a s!lid unbr!&en line !# dependencies:at h!e, at
sch!!l, at the uni%ersit'( Behind the bars, serenel' una)are !# the #l!!d !utside(
Re"ard e, . used t! sa' t! the )!rld, . a the a%era"e En"lishan( . ha%e ne%er le#t sch!!l
and . a pr!ud !# it( . carr' ' %ir"init' and ' sel#8satis#acti!n !n a strin" r!und ' nec&(
$hall . !utline it all )ith intr!specti%e precisi!n* . a n!t a <!)'s( $hall . e6pl!re '
"arish literar' li#e* Wh', . ha%e )ritten dispara"in"l' !# $ha&espeare in an ad%anced re%ie) :and
then returned h!e t! ' "uardian %ir"in as the sn!) and dressed in h!rn8ried spectacles( .
ha%e criticall' disp!sed !# <ascal, 1!lin!s, and R!nsard standin" at the bar !# a Red ,i!n $9uare
pub( Once . e%en lectured !n the se6ual abberati!ns !# ,a)rence t! an audience !# %ipers as
learned as 'sel#( in the #inal audit h!) hea%il' )ill these )ei"h a"ainst e* +A!u )ere b!rn t!
spit !n the delicate thin"s,+ said =haberlain !nce in a #it !# #ur'( 4nd in ' little cac&le !#
lau"hter he added, +Because '!u ha%e learned h!) t! spit !n '!ursel#(+
4las7 in this pers!nal lib! #r! )hich . letter !ut ' #ra"entar' diar', . see that this
!bser%ati!n is %er' -ust( .t is n!t the )!rld that is p!is!ned s! uch as the pe!ple in it( .t is '
)!rld d'in" because . a d'in":!# an int!lerable brain p!is!nin"( <it' e, etc(
These ni"hts are %er' l!n"( . sit here in the lab!rat!r' )hich . ha%e ade !# ' e"!, and
listen #!r the #ailiar s!unds, !nce #!rei"n, n!) l!cal( 4t t)! the b!ilers are st!&ed( . bre) 'sel#
tea, li"ht a ci"arette, 'a)n, ta&e a step, reeber an anecd!te !# ,!b!/s and lau"h( . a al)a's
a)are !# 'sel# as an act!r !n an ept' sta"e, his !nl' audience the critical sel#( . draati;e '
least acti!n, a&e it studied, cal( . ha%e the eternal illusi!n !# bein" )atched2 !# bein" %isible t!
an audience be#!re )h! . ust be care#ul n!t t! brea& d!)n( The late trains dri;;le !ut)ard
acr!ss the sn!)' landscapes, acr!ss the hills, the %alle's, the dar& blue b!dies !# the c!unties( . a
al!ne, but n! !re al!ne in the spirit than . ha%e e%er been( N!) that the !!n has "!ne . a able
t! stand at the )ind!), starin" at a star !# the third a"nitude( . a actin" ' head !##( . chuc&le
and scratch ' head( . li#t ' cup t! ' !uth )ith the air !# a d!)a"er( ,'cidas is dead, dead ere
his prie( in the c!rner lies the l!n" s%elte h!rn8"ra!ph!ne( . select the !st !%in" rec!rds !#
+the aster/s+ Op( N1 and pla' the !ne a#ter an!ther, as #ast as the turntable can r!tate( The %i!lin
scaps li&e a cat, p!!ps and s9ualls and "utters( .t is a capital -!&e( +4 %i!lin in an ept' h!use,
re!te in its editati!ns as a "h!st(+ That/s )hat . )r!te !nce( N!) it icturates li&e a )!bat,
hurtles and s9ueals, )inces and #!as( . lie here in the chair, chuc&lin" t! 'sel#, and let the
disc!rds pla' up!n e li&e -ets #r! a h!se( . re%el in the an"uish !# that 9ui%erin" #iddle(
1etaph!ricall' . spit !n Beeth!%en( 1entall', ph'sicall', #r! ' %er' s!ul, . spit !n his iser'( .
)!uld li&e t! ta&e up th!se shel%es !# #!li! usic, thr!) the in the "rate and piss !n the( ( ( (
When it bec!es int!lerable . "! and l!!& at 'sel# in the irr!r( $tandin" there in ' peac!c&
dressin" "!)n, )ith !ne !# the sashed rec!rds in ' hand( The re%ulsi!n s!bers e( . li"ht a
ci"arette, shru" ' sh!ulders in in#inite c!ntept, and sit d!)n at ' des&, t! add the para"raph
'!u ha%e -ust read(
This !rnin" . recei%e a %isit #r! <ere;( He is a little an"r' )ith hisel# #!r ne"lectin"
e( He sa's he is !nl' -ust bac& #r! the c!untr', )hich is a lie because he has been bac& a )ee&(
+4 )!an*+ . sa' t! hi archl'( .t is al!st !ur !nl' sub-ect !# c!n%ersati!n( He di%erts the
c!n%ersati!n( ,!b! has the #lu( He lies in bed all da', li&e a little blac& ip, struin" !n his bi"
inlaid "uitar( <ere; is )!nderin" h!) t! c!nd!le )ith e in ' s!rr!)( He is a little dis"usted at
ha%in" t! sh!) an' s'path' !%er the l!ss !# s!e!ne li&e Bracie( 4 little c!nteptu!us, t!!, !#
e #!r "ettin" entan"led )ith such a !ne( . can see it all )ritten in his e'es( 4t last he blurts !ut> +.
sa', Bre"!r', ./ s!rr' t! hear ( ( (+
+Aes*+ . sa', deandin" ' p!und !# #lesh(
+Bracie ( ( ( '!ur )i#e ( ( ( ./%e -ust heard,+ he ubles shae#acedl'( +Ver' s!rr' #!r '!u(+
When he "!es, . return t! the pian!, p!ur !ut a "lass !# sherr', and sit d!)n t! 1!;art( 1'
#in"ers ease the ch!rds #r! the )hite s!#t -ac&s, li&e hea%' bunches !# "rapes( The usic )raps
e in its ect!plas !# e!ti!n( Reall', i# '!u #!r"i%e the preci!us lit!tes, . a an e6ecutant !# n!
ean caliber( in ' ia"inati!n the tears are runnin" d!)n ' #ace, !n t! ' #in"ers, !n t! the
lush i%!ries( 1' b!)els are runnin" !ut !# e li&e tap )ater( . a bec!e a #i"ure !# s!dden
cardb!ard( The n!tes rap h!les in e, s!therin" e in bullets !# s!und( 1!;art cla)s ' li%er
and nibbles ' t!n"ue li&e a )!!dpec&er( ( ( (
.t is the sae )hen . sit d!)n t! )rite( The subarine pr!#undities !# ' ia"inati!n are
su""ested b' the #l!rid s)eep !# ' pen(
1' attenti!n is al)a's t! bec!e the %er' paper !n )hich . )rite( 4las7 the rh'th is sadl'
une%en( 1' brain, li&e an en"ine, "i%es the #irst tu", )hich c!unicates a series !# ban"s t! the
carria"es( Ban", ban", ban":all the )a' d!)n the line( 1' teeth chatter, and ' %ertebrae clan"
t!"ether( Ver' sl!)l' and sti##l' )e are !##, and pu##, pu##, pu##( The nib s9uea&s at e%er' le%el
cr!ssin"( . a in !rtal terr!r !# a c!llisi!n( 4ll the si"nals are dead a"ainst e( ( ( ( <it' e, etc(
H!)e%er, it is n!t #!r l!n" n!)( The decisi!n has been ade( . sit here !n this #inal 1!nda'
!rnin" !# the )!rld, )ith ' pen in ' hand, and c!nteplate th!se in#inities !# #eelin" )hich .
)!uld li&e t! e6press( There is n!thin" in the ,aentati!ns !# 0ere' t! t!uch the terrible thin
s9uealin" )hich . )!uld li&e t! rise #r! this paper and sti#le '!u( This thin, astrin"ent script !#
ine:let it be p!ured int! '!ur ears, !st delectable !# c!rr!si%es, until '!ur brains turn "reen,
cancer!us, nitric( ( ( (
<er #retu #ebris:b' these straits t! die7 There is n!thin" here that is !re than ar"inal(
Here, ta&e e, and rip e t! pieces( Dndress e, c!at, )aistc!at, %est, pants:stratu b' stratu( .
a a"ain standin" na&ed in #r!nt !# the irr!r, pu;;led b' the !bstructin" #lesh( The "reat pr!ble
is h!) t! "et at the !r"anic r!!t !# the tr!uble( H!) t! l!cate and dia"n!se( There, . ust bear
s!e traces !# the ancestral p!lluti!n( The paper is blac& )ith little !n&e'8li&e "re"!ries,
clibin" #r! the s9uare l!ins !# their parents( On t!p !# !ne an!ther li&e acr!bats, the hi"h !nes
crushin" d!)n the l!)er !nes int! hist!r'( On steppin"st!nes !# !ur dead sel%es, etc( 3!es this
b!re '!u* Then -!in e in a b!)l !# sherr' and s!e lasci%i!us dra)in"s( <ut !n s!e -a;;( ,et us
ebrace !ne an!ther( ,et us dice )ith ' #alse teeth( ( ( ( Tar9uin has started a n!%el ab!ut the li#e
!# 0esus( He is e6cited b' his !)n #ertilit'( He c!es d!)n and reads e )hat he has )ritten( +./%e
ade hi turn int! a )!an,+ he "i""les( +A!u &n!) the bit in the "arden* $he is there )eepin"
!n the "r!und( $he is s! delicate and treblin" that 0!hn/s b!)els are !%ed( He "!es up behind
her, n!t 9uite &n!)in" )hat he is d!in"( $he is 9uite br!&en and lip, li&e a sashed bird( Eh* .s
that a "!!d t!uch* ,i&e a sashed bird( With!ut &n!)in" he puts his hand inside her r!be and #eels
the "reat hea%' l!bes !# breasts( ,!bes, Bre"!r'(,!bes7 He turns her !%er and de#l!)ers her as she
lies there )eepin" and ipl!rin" hi n!t t!( Eh* Ver' s!#tl' and hea%il' he enters( Eh* ,i&e ,ad'
=hatterle'( 0!hn !untin" the sp!use !# Mi!n )hile she )eeps !%er the #allen cities* 1' B!d, d!n/t
'!u thin& there/s passi!n in it* 0!hn enterin" the dead bird li&e a sl!) hea%' battleship* Eh* 4nd
all the terrible and a"!ni;in" iser' !# her s!ul, her tears and all that, turn int! the !st
e6cruciatin", t!rtured, terrible, blasphe!us, piercin" deli"ht*+ He is treblin" all !%er and bitin"
his nails( Then )e b!th be"in t! cac&le2 )e are c!nsued2 )e lie there and h!)l until )e are nearl'
sic&( The tears are p!urin" d!)n his #ace( ( ( ( 4bstractedl', !n the dra)in"8r!! carpet, . create
the )ilderness, the deserts, the st!ne cr!p, the th!rn( .n#inities a)a' . see 'sel#, bl!!d'8#!!ted,
stublin" al!n" under the sun( Tar9uin is tal&in", )hinin", pr!testin"( . c!uld li#t ' "lass and
thr!) the sherr' int! his )hite, hairless #ace( +.t is n!t se6,+ he is repeatin" !%er and !%er a"ain,
hal# t! hisel#( +.t/s s!ethin" t! d! )ith e( ( ( (+ .t is a !n!l!"ue t! )hich . a supp!sed t! be
attendin"( His e'es are #ull !# tears( He c!u"hs !%er the drin& and s)all!)s( The usic su##!cates
e( The b!) is #iddlin" acr!ss ' %er' ner%es( What a terrible !intent #!r the tears in ' )!b7
+.t/s n!t se6,+ he sa's, lar"hett!( The ache !# the strin"s sends little sh!!tin" pains thr!u"h
' teeth( The clarinet( The delicate %ariati!n( O the bass!!n as ell!) as p!rt, cherries, ci"ars,
ah!"an', blac& bile( +F!r a l!n" tie . th!u"ht it )as( But it !nl' dis"usts e:e%en )ith hi(
,isten, )e b!rr!)ed 3urrell/s car and )ent !ut !# ,!nd!n( .a"ine us l!c&ed in the bac& seat, O
=hrist, bu""erin" each !ther li&e a c!uple !# bill' "!ats( . th!u"ht ' heart )as br!&en( . )as sic&
and sic&( That/s )hat "a%e e the idea t! )rite all this ab!ut 0esus(+
4 %i!lin in an ept' h!use, re!te in its editati!ns as a "h!st( $uch a 9uiet s!l! %!ice
spea&in" t! creati!n( .t c!uld !nl' c!e !ut !# a adh!use the 9uiet p!urin" !# the sel#less acti!n(
The sciss!rs snippin" a)a' the threads !# the brain, 9uietl', 9uietl', in secret( 4nd then this usic
settlin" li&e )hite h!t steel int! the !ld !# ' ears, sti##enin", "leain"( The %ariati!ns shu##led
c!ldl' !ut, li&e a pac& !# blue and sil%er cards( 4 pac& !# aces( 1usic t! hear, )h' hearest th!u
usic sadl'* The resp!nsi%e edulla 9ua&in" li&e a custard( O B!d, there are n! tears #!r this
adness, but dr' e'es, dr' t!n"ue, dr' thr!at, parched scr!tu(
+. had a drea last ni"ht(+ ,ar"hett!( The l!n" cur%in" panes !# )!r)!!d, "all, spi&es in
the li%er( +. )as in a butcher/s sh!p( 5uite na&ed, ' dear( 1' scr!tu )as a 'ell!) leather ba"(
The &ind !# !ne'ba" the rich erchant )!re in his belt( A!u &n!)( A!u/%e seen the edie%al
pictures( Well, it )as tied r!und the !uth )ith tape( . undid it and l!!&ed inside, and it )as #ull !#
little parched br!)n seeds( Be#!re . had tie t! d! it up . )as pic&ed up and slapped !n the
c!unter, )ith a sic&enin" thud( 4nd all the seeds #ell !ut and rained d!)n !n the #l!!r( . "!t such a
#ri"ht that )hen . )!&e up . th!u"ht #!r a !ent . had )et the bed(+
The #ail' tree han"s !n the )all beside the )restlers( 1' p!!r aunt 0ane !)ned a bl!!d'
ne%us( Henr', the third c!usin )h! had ade a pac&et !ut !# estate, )as a little berr' !# a an,
)ith peachd!)n ch!ps, and patches !# #lu## behind his ears( His )aistc!at )!uld s)in" !pen li&e a
d!!r and sh!) '!u that he )!r&ed b' a cl!c&( Tic&, t!c&, tic&, t!c& ( ( ( His #ace )as a relic !# the
$un" d'nast'( $uch a delicate "reen patina7 1' !ther )!re hi r!und her thr!at( Tic&, t!c&, tic&,
t!c&, the )hite pulse that Henr' had "i%en her(
Old Fann' )al&in" the streets !# B!urne!uth2 and '!un" Fann' )h! &illed e !n the
Blac& R!c&, ab!%e Bri"ht!n( B!d, the s!#t lips and hair and hands( $! delicate )ere !ur #irst
ine6pert attepts at l!%e( Bather her up in the pals !# '!ur hands, s!#tl' s! the p!)der )!n/t
scale, and #eel her #lutter( Th!se 9ueer "reen st!ne e'es, li&e a #!al( 4nd the )ar l!!se !uth(
The leanin" b!d' !n the l!n" #ine le"s, s! ele"ant and insecure li&e a #!al( The l!n" p!inted breasts
that s)un" hard a"ainst '!u as the sea birds #le) !ut !# her hair, s!#tl' )he)in", and the tide cae
lic&in" up !%er l!ins( Whats!e%er thin"s are -ust, )hats!e%er thin"s are pure, )hats!e%er thin"s are
l!%el', )hats!e%er thin"s are !# "!!d rep!rt> i# there be an' %irtue andi# there be an' praise, thin&
!n these thin"s( 1' #ace ta&en up s!#tl' bet)een !untains and the c!ld iceber" c!in" d!)n
up!n it, eltin" in ' !uth and n!strils( +Herbert, are '!u tellin" a lie*+
+N!, 1!ther(+ 1!ther !# B!d, 1!ther !# 1iser', 1!ther !# 0esus, 1!ther !# 1an(
4phr!dite !n the r!llin" br!)n h!rse, triuphant, )ith the enstrual bl!!d #l!)in" in a )a%e t!
her an&les( Old Fann', )ith the peran"anate b!)l, and the st!re !# !ld s!iled ra"s( +Herbert, )ill
'!u ser%e B!d*+ $!#tl' )ith the )hite thr!at beatin" !%er the h'n8b!!&, tic&, t!c&, tic&, t!c&, the
)hite pulse Henr' had "i%en her( =an . ha%e #allen in stea #r! bet)een these l!ins* =attle
breathe !n ' #ace, and her breath is !re delectable than the cattle, . )ill n!t betra' her( $a%e e,
sei;e e, !pen e, ha%e e( . a a "i#t that n!b!d' )ants( ,esbia, let e be '!ur sparr!)(
Ver' )ell then, . "i%e in( .t is n! "!!d tr'in" t! c!nceal it( . a a#raid !# these siple
thin"s, the lustin", the cr'in" !ut in the ni"ht, the bl!!d and )hipcrac&s, the rin" !# !ne', the
seed %!itin", the child, the lab, the ea"le, the leper: . a a#raid !# the all(. a a#raid !# the
"reat, the terrible siple thin"s(
Old Fann' used t! sa' in her h!arse cra;' )a'> +What/s t! be ashaed !#, '!un" aster*
Blushin" because !# ' bl!!d* Bless '!u, )e all ha%e bl!!d(+ 4nd the t!! ele"ant and deadl'
Rachel> +A!u/re underse6ed, ' dear( .t interests !st en(+ A!u c!uld al!st picture her sealed
in a "lass case in T!ttenha =!urt R!ad, )hile the )h!le )!rld )atched her chan"e the( . 9ui%er
li&e a struc& ship )hen . #ace these thin"s( Fann', t!!, had bl!!d( .t )as the rule( Ne)t/s bl!!d( .
)!uldn/t be surprised i# Tar9uin did t!!( But the b!)l !# peran"anate sails up and ta&es e b' the
thr!at( +Herbert, praise the ,!rd(+ +T!! Hi be all h!n!r and "l!r', 1!ther(+ =hip, chip, chip( 1'
#ather at )!r& in his apr!n, he)in" !ut the c!rnices !# the t!bst!nes( T!c&, t!c&, t!c&, and the
#ine st!ne slippin" a)a' under the steel( He has ade three t!bst!nes, the bi""est #!r hisel# ?.n
1e!ria@, the ne6t bi""est #!r her ?tic&, t!c&, tic&, t!c&, the )hite pulse Henr' had "i%en her@,
and the sallest ?Hie 0acet@( .t ne%er !ccurred t! hi that . i"ht "r!) up( in the "reenh!use,
secretl' as a le!pard, he sits and pla's 1!;art, a!n" the #erns, p!tted plants, arabes9ues, and
#!ssils( . shall ne%er eet hi a"ain( The terrible plan"ence !# th!se ch!rds reaches !ut at e, ten
sentiental )hite carr!ts !# ' !ther( O B!d, . a ept' inside li&e the #irst cha!s( 1' "estures
are carried a)a' !%er the "ra' sea b' the "ulls( Fann' and ' !ther and the ten sentiental
carr!ts laid, in ' e!r' t! desiccate and p!)der sl!)l', and "i%e !## this stran"e n!stal"ic
ar!a( 1' li#e is un)indin" itsel# inside e li&e an ept' sp!!l( . ha%e bec!e a disc n!t pla'ed7
The lid is cl!sed, but . r!tate #!re%er in dar&ness( Fann', . need n!thin" but '!ur !th/s #ace, '!ur
#urr' e'ebr!)s, '!ur de%il/s 9ui%erin" li&e a pi"e!n held a"ainst the breast( A!u bel!n" t! the
picture b!!&, t! the "ibb!us !!n, t! the t!bs, t! the pac& !# &na%es( The b!)l !# '!ur #ace
becae the b!)l !# the s&'( There )as a psal due t! '!u, but sittin" at ' !ther/s &nee, pale
d!estic, re"iental in ' starched c!llar, . c!uld n!t a&e it(
+.t is all dead, d! '!u reali;e*+ Tar9uin is standin" up !%er e in the #ireli"ht, sh!utin"( The
li"ht is t)in&lin" !n his palate, !n his charred !lars( +.t has all been used up and dead( .t/s "!ne(
We can/t "et bac&( Bre"!r', d! '!u reali;e* .t/s the past n!)(+
His head is c!c&ed side)a's t! hear the drus a"ain( Then he is sh!utin" a"ain, in that hi"h
%!ice !# his( His n!se stic&s !ut li&e a banda"ed thub( +1' B!d, h!) seld! )e reali;e tie( 3!
'!u hear e* Eh* 4nd it/s "!in" thr!u"h us the )h!le tie( We are runnin" thr!u"h it )ith!ut
reali;in" it(+ Then !nce a"ain, )hinin"( +Bre"!r', )here are '!u "!in" t!* <lease tell e, eh* .
ust &n!)( . can/t sta' here al!ne, )ith!ut s!e!ne t! c!n#ide in( Eh*+
We are sittin" in the dra)in" r!! a!n" the pile !# b!6es( 4ll da' . had been burnin" the
!re e6pensi%e !# the b!!&s in the "rate( There is still a stench !# pi"s&in han"in" in the air( $!
uch #!r ' buried talent( ,et it sta' buried( . shall clap the lid d!)n !n it( Tar9uin is tal&in"
a"ain( E6cuse e( . ust transcribe )hat he sa's #!r p!sterit'( +.s it s!ethin" )r!n"* =!uldn/t
'!u c!n#ide in e #!r !nce* Thin& !# the intiate thin"s . ha%e t!ld '!u be#!re n!)( .ntiate,
intiate thin"s . )!uld n!t di%ul"e t! a s!ul( Bre"!r', )here are '!u "!in"* A!u can/t -ust lea%e(
Tell e(+
What shall . ans)er* +. a "!in", ' dear T!r9uatus, t! arr' Kate( . a "!in" t! bec!e
a baraid/s h!el' plun"er( A!u )!uld li&e Kate i# '!u et her( $he )ears a thic& rubber )asher
!n her %a"ina(+ . a chuc&lin" as . )rite this and read hi it, s'llable b' s'llable(
+Oh, d! st!p #!!lin" n!) and be seri!us( A!u/%e been -apin" en!u"h this e%enin"( Tell e(
Eh*+
+./%e t!ld '!u(+
There is a l!n" pause( =!unt t)ent'(
+Well, i# '!u )!n/t tell e ./ll sul&(+
+. tell '!u )hat( ./ll )rite it all d!)n as a piece !# h!el' #icti!n and "i%e it t! '!u t! read
)hen . lea%e( With ' address !n the b!tt! le#t8hand c!er, b' the ipressi!n !# ' rin"( The
!ne )ith the phallus !n it( What d! '!u sa' t! that*+
He has be"un pla'in" his Wa"ner !n the pian!( 4 Teut!nic )et drea( F!r a inute . #eel .
)!uld li&e t! dri%e this pen int! his bac& as he sits there pla'in"( His li#elessness is such a satire !n
' !)n( Then suddenl' he !%es int! a hard "litterin" tra%est' !# 1!;art( 4n uncut #uri!us
dia!nd, )hich scratches the )ind!)panes( Fann' )al&s al!n" the cli## li&e a "h!st, dressed in
"ull8"ra', #r! the "ullet t! the l!ins( Bl!)n blac& a"ainst her b!d', the aterial lies !n her, clin"s
and bl!)s ab!ut her breasts in relie#( $he lies there li&e a st!ne #i"ure in a #!r"!tten desert, d!ucel'
!utlined b' dunes( $uch a tenderness in the l!ins, such a blindness, is re9uired t! recall this in
usic !r "reen )ritin"( 1' e'es are lead pluets( There is a "lass brid"e built all !# a sudden in
' brain( . tread s!#tl' #!r #ear !# brea&in" it( 1' &nees are ade !# isin"lass( . a a#raid !# her(
1' bl!!d p!urs !ut int! the s!#t sand as . &neel beside her( H!t, h!t, li&e la%a bet)een the arches
!# the pel%is( Tar9uin has be"un pla'in" the edulla !bbli"at!( . reeber the blue crac&s in
Bracie/s rictus( The ri"!r !rtis( 1!st delectable !# la)s( We shall all !# us ha%e the last lau"h(
When there is n!thin" t! #ill the h!le bet)een ' burst heart and the nearest star . shall still ha%e
the di%ine "esture, the Epicurean p!se(
+This baraid, is she real*+ sa's Tar9uin casuall'( +Or is it an!ther -ape* A!u see #ull !#
-apes( 4ll this b!!& burnin"( Eh* Bi%e e '!ur b!!&s( ./ll sell the and stand ,!b! a )!an( ./ll
bu' 'sel# a ne) hat and s!e usic( Eh*+
+A!u isunderstand the "esture(+
.n the e%enin"s )e used t! )al& t!"ether( That eans n!thin" t! '!u* . d!n/t )!nder( .t )as
' )!rld( We used t! )al& t!"ether in h!liness, dan '!ur unc!prehendin" #ace( .# there )as
an' passi!n in the earth then )e e6hausted it all( N!thin" has reained since then( 1rs( Ven"eance
used t! sin" +1' s!ul is li&e a #l!)er(+ 4nd )e used t! sit rapt )ith !ur #in"ers lin&ed, the e'es s!
#ran& and "reen, li&e the e'es !# ' r!c&in" h!rse( =l!se the #inel' cut head, delicate as '
beauti#ul r!c&in" h!rse, )ith the s!#t cut8a)a' lips, li&e t)in d!lphins(
Where are the sn!)s !# 'ester'ear* Than& '!u 1rs( Ven"eance( That )as l!%el'( But
)here is Fann', Bracie, !ld Fann' ( ( (* Brins . supp!se( 4 tri! !# =heshire =ats( Or all elted int!
the essential "rin* The )i;ened rictus !# ,a! Tse "!u"ed !n the terri#ic #ace !# death( . reeber
suddenl' her runnin" t!)ard e in the usic, !##erin" her )rists( . )as a 9ui%erin" #iddle until she
laid that c!!l pad !# her hand !n e and dubed the strin"s(
T!da' . n!ticed the bald patch spreadin"( $i"ns !# the ties( The spreadin" baldness in '
bl!!dless scalp li&e red in& !n bl!ttin" paper( . ha%e c!p!sed ' last )ill and testaent( in the
irr!r ' e'es see t! incandesce, turn a c!ld steel' blue( .t is li&e l!!&in" d!)n the !iled barrel
!# a "un(
T! the "reen e'es . !##er the n!stal"ic #it !# )eepin", a r!c&in" h!rse, a bundle !# #l!)ers, a
h'nb!!&, ' seal )ith d!lphins !n it, and an' !# the ap!cr'phal testaents(
He )h! siles #irsts, lau"hs last( Fiat V!luntas( 4s it )as in the be"innin", is n!) and e%er
shall be, "rin )ith!ut end( 4en(
+A!u are un-ust,+ sa's =haberlain, his hair in his e'es, his teeth "leain"( +<assi!n
d!esn/t #l!urish li&e a p!tted plant(+
He has heard . a lea%in", and in a #it !# )arth he has c!e r!und t! sa' "!!d8b'( . a
#uri!us n!) because . ha%e t!ld hi all ab!ut Kate( The little secret !%er )hich . ha%e been
chuc&lin" and hu""in" 'sel# #!r the last #e) )ee&s( Dnder his in#ecti!us )arth . #!und the #acts
slippin" #r! e( ((( .t )as s! natural t! adit the s!#t ipeachent:#!r Kate is n!thin" i# n!t a
s!#t ipeachent:that n!) . a #uri!us( +.t/s n!t passi!n that interests e,+ . sa'(
+./ s!rr',+ he sa's, )ith a 9ueer 9uiet huilit', utterl' unli&e hi( +. supp!se )e/re n!t all
ali&e(+ 4s he lea%es he sa's, a little sentiental, +3r!p e a line, )ill '!u, i# '!u #eel li&e it*+
. sha&e ' head( The steep #li"ht !# stairs detains hi #!r a !ent( +A!u/ll chan"e '!ur
ind,+ he sa's, +. ha%e a #eelin" '!u )ill( B!!d8b'(+
Ver' )ell, . return t! ' des& #!r the #inal audit( This diar' ust be #inished be#!re . lea%e(
. a tepted t! )rite a little ab!ut ' #ather, ab!ut hi standin" in a trance h!ur a#ter h!ur
in his )!r&sh!p, abs!rbed and sel#less as a b!bbin in a l!!, "!in" thr!u"h the !ti!ns !#
creati!n( But there is n!thin" ali%e ab!ut this retr!spect( The illusi!n, perhaps( But in realit' )hat a
terrible "al%anic t)itchin"( .t is the )!rld/s disease( The balance has been l!st )hich al!ne a&es
acti!n li%e, )hich al!ne creates #!ridable )!r&( N!) there is !nl' the illusi!n !# acti!n( Faster,
)e cr', #aster( 4#ter a tie the illusi!n !# acti!n is l!st, the sense is dulled, the last #ear#ul staleate
!# the s!ul sets in( This is the death . a participatin" in(
Well, e%er'thin" is in !rder, !r rather dis!rder( The hall is bl!c&ed )ith trun&s( There is n!t
a sin"le artistic !r aesthetic !b-ect in the, but the' see %er' #ull( The hearth is a)ash )ith ashes(
1!r"an brin"s ' dinner d!)n )ith the #ace !# a -ail!r, and then lea%es silentl', ban"in"
the d!!r( . e6pect Tar9uin t! call but he d!es n!t( Ver' )ell( $t!ne )alls d! n!t a pris!n a&e, s! .
shall eat the c!ld p!r&, and crac& a <ale 4le !n the b!)s !# the departin" Vi&in"( Aet, . pr!test, this
place has the at!sphere !# a slau"hterh!use( This is ' )eddin" brea&#ast( 4#ter it the' )ill c!e
in )ith their hands behind their bac&s, shae#aced, li&e butchers, in their uni#!rs and tell e t!
stand up and turn r!und( . shall #eel ' ars pini!ned( Weepin" )ith relie#( . shall all!) the t!
lead e !ut, a passi%e sheep, int! the little ad-acent shed, )here .T stands( There . shall be )ashed
in the bl!!d !# the ,ab, ch!&ed, and "i%en the l!n" clean #!!t#irst, int! the abs!lute( ,et the cut
!ut ' blac&ened t!n"ue, and ' charred li%er, and pic&le the #!r the 1useu( ,et e tell '!u a
little ab!ut Kate, as s!berl' as #its a c!ndened an( Firstl', . a %er' happ'( . ha%e p!ured !ut
' decisi!ns li&e sall chan"e, and selected !ne clean ne) si6pence( Kate is the l!usiest, ti"htest,
dub and !st de%aluated si6pence that e%er cae #r! the int( ,et e n!t a##ect this bitterness(
.t is n!t real(
When . thin& ab!ut Kate . a as dub and passi%e as a bull!c&( .t is the !nl' s!luti!n
reall', the !nl' )a' !ut( in B!urne!uth, )al&in" the streets, )hile the rain pr!n"ed the li"hts and
h!uses, the )h!le shape !# ' #uture r!se up and ch!&ed e( in the unicipal librar' . #!und
'sel# all !# a sudden sittin" )ith a b!!& !n !cean!"raph' !pen in #r!nt !# e( . )as l!!&in" #!r
the ,!"!s( The #ace !# the s9uid attracted e( ,ater, in a c!;' little bar8parl!r the #ace !# Kate )as
the #ace !# the sae s9uid . had seen !n the title pa"e !# the t!e(
We "!t int! c!n%ersati!n in 9uite a class' )a'( $he tr!d !n ' #!!t and said she )as s!rr'(
. &n!c&ed her "lass a"ainst her teeth and said . )as s!rr'( +We see t! be in a pr!per pic&le
t!ni"ht,+ she !bser%ed( When . a"reed she )ent !n t! a&e sundr' trite !bser%ati!ns ab!ut the
)eather, etc( +4re '!u sta'in" l!n"*+ she as&ed( +3!)n here #!r a spree*+ . e6plained that . )as
d!)n here )ith a dead )i#e, and )as iediatel' ta&en in hand( . )as !thered( .t )as tedi!us but
pleasant( Bein" a )id!) she #elt hersel# c!petent t! deal )ith a str!n" an/s "rie#( We )ent t!
cineas t!"ether, #lirted ildl' t!!( This, she "a%e e t! understand, )as )hat all )id!)ers did(
The' #elt s! l!nel'( $he )as a &n!)in" little thin"( +3!n/t '!u )!rr', chic&en,+ she said, pattin"
' thi"h, +. )!n/t snatch '!u(+
+3!n/t call e chic&en(+
+O&a', chic&en(+
$he &ne) all ab!ut en( Her husband had been !ne( But her h!n!r )!uld n!t st!!p t! ere
ba)dr' !ut !# )edl!c&, ++er,+ she said !dishl', &n!c&in" ' hand a)a'( +,a' !## that uc&in"
ab!ut( ./ n!t !ne !# th!se(+
+O, but '!u are, Katie( A!u are a pr!per !ne( . ha%e ne%er seen such a !ne in ' li#e(+ $he
c!uld ne%er a&e !ut )hether . )as sneerin" at her !r n!t( H!)e%er, it seeed unli&el' t! her )a'
!# thin&in"( .t )as -ust ' )a', she used t! titter( . li&ed t! ha%e her !n( 3ilatin" th!se hard e'es !#
hers she )!uld put her #ace cl!se t! ine and titter( .ediatel' the hu!r!us s9uid )!uld c!e
t! li#e in her(
3! '!u #ind Kate a bit !# a pu;;le* Here, . put her ph!t!"raph be#!re '!u( 4 tri little cra#t
)ith that predat!r' s9uid/s -!)ls( Brass )!uldn/t elt in her !uth( A!u can see at a "lance that
here is s!e!ne )h! &n!)s ri"ht #r! )r!n"( A!u are still pu;;led* . )ill e6plain( . ch!se Bracie,
because she )as, as )!en "!, e6tra!rdinar'( With Kate, . epl!'ed the eth!d s! uch in %!"ue
)ith the )riters !# best sellers( . ch!se her because she )as the !st !rdinar' pers!n . c!uld #ind(
.# . had n!t et her . sh!uld ha%e had t! "! int! a ban&( Kate is the sanctuar' )hich . ha%e been
)antin" #!r s! l!n"( When . sa) the little h!use, )ith its cheap and hide!us #urniture, the lin!leu
#l!!rs, the "arish cushi!ns, . said t! 'sel#> . a h!e at last( $ittin" in ' slippers under a steel
en"ra%in" !# H!lrnan Hunt, #eelin" the dap spr!uts !# #lae #r! the "as )ar ' tr!user le"s, .
said t! 'sel#> This is ' sanctuar'( Herea#ter . shall bur' 'sel# beside the )ireless, behind a
paper( Kate shall inister t! ' s!ul )ith a eat and t)! %e", and lea%e e t! ' pri%ate battle
)ith B!d( This is deadl' true( Kate is the !naster' in )hich . a ab!ut t! be interned( . ha%e
n!thin" t! sa' t! her, n!thin" in c!!n )ith her( . ha%e "i%en up all th!se childish n!strus and
chars )ith )hich . h!ped t! #ind sal%ati!n #!r s! l!n"( Hush, . sa' t! 'sel#, #r! n!) . a
"!in" t! lie in secrec'( 4 predilu%ial secrec'( N! deands )ill be ade !# e in this pri%ate
adh!use( Katie/s husband "a%e her s! little that she e6pects n!thin" #r! e( 4n !r"as, #!r
instance( $he d!es n!t &n!) )hat that is, has ne%er e6perienced it( . )ill ta&e "!!d care that she
ne%er d!es( $he has a deep8seated ner%!us "rud"e a"ainst en, the dirt' brutes( This )ill ensure
the sacred %!id bet)een !ur stars( $he lies under !ne )ith that )hite, pain#ul, =hristian #ace !#
hers, and puts up )ith the !re l!aths!e side !# the business )ith the air !# a real st!ic( .t d!es
' heart "!!d t! see it( . need #ear n! intrusi!ns, n! )rin"in" !# hands !r b!)els(
T!!rr!) . )ill "! unt! ' #ather, b' the #!ur8#!urteen( . )ill be et at the stati!n( . can
see it all, . can taste the anna in ' !uth( The s!&' little r!ad )ith the h!!ps !# ir!n r!und
their drear' hutches( H!e7 The se"ent !# s!ppin" "rass !utside the "reen h!use( The !ne sic&
d)ar# apple( We shall sit d!)n in the &itchen b' the ran"e and eat dinner t!"ether:she %er' )ise
and s&ittish and hard as a bell( 4nd )ith !ur &ni%es shall )e scrape the rich br!)n drippin" #r!
the puddin" basin, and sear it !n !ur bread(
+E%er'thin" #air and s9uare,+ is her !tt!( $he is a "reat belie%er in the e9ualit' !# the
se6es( $he shall pa' #!r hersel# )here%er she "!es, e%en at the cinea(
There )ill ne%er be an' 9uesti!n !# pers!nalities, because she is t!! uch !# a lad'( . shall
ne%er be l!nel' because there )ill be n! relie# #r! l!neliness( =haberlain used t! sa'> +,et us
ha%e !re !# the etaph'sical beast, Bre"!r'( =!e !n, "ird up the l!ins !# an"er(+ . a )ear' !#
the b!)el )!rship( Wear', utterl' )ear' and sic& #r! ' %er' s!ul( 4ll these pi!us res!luti!ns
ha%e bled thesel%es ept' in e( .# there )ere an !r"ani;ed reli"i!n )hich )ere str!n" en!u"h
t! "rip e . )!uld )elc!e it( There is s!ethin" in e, . &n!), that ust be chipped a)a', li&e
dead ast!id( But . shall n!t b!ther t! #i"ht #!r it( The stru""le is t!! hide!us, the inner e6tracti!n
!# dead sel%es, li&e "iant #esterin" !lars, is t!! t!! pain#ul( ,et be, and su##er the disease t! run its
c!urse( Fr! n!) !n ' hands are #!lded acr!ss ' breast( ,et the "rass "r!) under ' t!n"ue,
bet)een ' teeth, let the scabs #!r !n ' e'eballs, let the bub!es burst bet)een ' t!es, . shall
n!t li#t a #in"er(
This is the "!in" d!)n t!)ard the t!b( The )eather has been, !n the )h!le, %er' #air(
There is a sli"ht belt !# pressure settled r!und the s!uth c!ast !# .reland, but )h! cares ab!ut that*
Fair t! #ine is the "eneral #!recast, )ith sli"ht l!cal sh!)ers, and sensati!nal #luctuati!ns !# bulli!n(
The p!r& trade is d!in" )ell( The ductless "lands are in trainin" earlier this 'ear, under a ne)
c!ach( Their tie #r! Haersith t! <utne' is alread' d!ubled( .t is h!ped that the' )ill carr'
!## the 4shes this 'ear )ith!ut an' di##icult'( 4t a t)el#th readin", the bill #!r the distributi!n !#
!re il& t! pre"nant ebers !# <arliaent )as carried b' a a-!rit' !# t)el%e( 1r( Bald)in
c!ncurred( 4lt!"ether the !utl!!& is a"ni#icent #!r the c!in" 'ear, )ith a de#inite pr!ise !#
)!rse t! #!ll!)( $t!c&s are #allin" !)in" t! a recent erupti!n !# 1!unt R!therere, but h!pes are
risin"( Recent e6ca%ati!ns in Fleet $treet ha%e been suspended !)in" t! a dischar"e !# spec&led
%en!( H!)e%er, business pr!ceeds as usual, )ith sli"ht tre!rs(
,!b! is ha%in" a terrible tie, the' tell e( He is in l!%e, and is #indin" it pain#ul( While he
)as abr!ad he et a Beran "irl, a pneuatic Teut!n #rau, !# the l!%e e !r lea%e e breed, )h!
held hi d!)n )ith her thub and "a%e hi s!ethin" t! thin& ab!ut( He spends all ni"ht
)eepin" #!r his sins( +. ha%e n!t been an an"el,+ he sa's, r!llin" his s!re, s)!llen e'es( He is in t)!
inds ab!ut cuttin" hisel#( He )ants t! arr' her, but h!) can he* $uch a #!ul, lepr!us little
)h!re!n"er as he is:can he an' a #ine pure sea#arin" bl!nde* .# she #!und !ut ab!ut hi she
)!uld "! int! a !naster'( 4nd then he )!uld ha%e t! "! int! a !naster' t!! t! e9uali;e thin"s(
4nd i# he d!es arr' her, h!) can he &eep a)a' #r! pr!stitutes and enthusiastic aateurs* The'
are in his bl!!d( +. a a dut' leetle leecher,+ he sa's )ildl', beatin" his thi"h( +. )as a pure
=ath!lic !nce until that )!an "!t e( $ince then . ha%e been thirst' ( ( ( li&e thirst, '!u
understand*+ . understand( $he tau"ht hi an' peculiar re#ineents, did his #riendl' )id!)( $he
used t! sa', +Better t! &eep the sh!es !n )hen '!u d! it( .t is better sh!es and l!n" blac&
st!c&in"s(+
Fr! ' present suptu!us b!red! . sit and lau"h at ,!b! thr!u"h the bars( What a dr!ll
little ape( . can n! l!n"er e%en be aused b' his antics( Tar9uin can be #unn' )hen he s9ualls and
)hines, but ,!b!:n!, . ha%e put a)a' ' icr!sc!pe #!r "!!d(
. can hear the train )heels beatin" their rh'thic re%!luti!n in ' head as . )rite( The #!ur8
#!urteen carr'in" e h!e)ard t! the slippers, the "as #ire, the paper, the drippin", the te6t !n the
)all( 4nd Kate )aitin" #!r e, tri and cheapl' scented in her 1ar&s O $pencer &nic&ers( 3!ne
up in c!l!red crin&les #!r e li&e a cheap ca&e !# ar!atic s!ap( We shall stand t!"ether be#!re the
deput' !# B!d, and parta&e !# a anl' little ser%ice #!r the c!nnubial #elicities t! be le"ali;ed( 3ear
Kate, li&e a can%as d!ll in bed )ith a )hite st!ic #ace, )hettin" the appetites !# cruelt' in her
brand8ne) hubb'( 4nd all these acres !# tra"ic stru""les, !# b!red!s, despairs, delusi!ns, )ill #all
#r! e as . enter ' pris!n( The ubiet' !# B!d( The #antastic ;er! t! )hich . shall reduce the
ters !# li%in" and s! #ind happiness( The sl!) "radual ascent int! silence, int! dubness( Wh' d!
)e #ear the !dern )!rld* Wh' are )e a#raid !# bec!in" insects* . can ia"ine n! l!%elier "!al(
The streets !# <aradise are n!t !re l!%el' than the hi"h)a's !# the ant heap( . shall bec!e a
)hite ant, B!d )illin"( . shall ha%e ' s)in& t! e reser%ed and n!thin" else( ,et the hi%e ta&e '
resp!nsibilities( . a )ear' !# the(
This is the eanin" !# the sashed etchin"s in the "rate( The disl!cated b!!&s( The lar"e
red discs( Fr! the )rec&a"e, h!)e%er, . ha%e sa%ed certain thin"s that ha%e the death in the(
These . )ill "i%e t! Tar9uin t! assist his disease t! &ill hi( T! se) the tares !# a "reater adness
inside that "reat thr!bbin" e""li&e craniu !# his( 4n'thin" )ith the real taint in it, the real "reen
"an"rene( <eace !n earth and "!!d )ill t! en( But . spea& a#ter the anner !# en( . a in the
"rip !# this sl!) suppurati%e hate, )hich lin"ers in the pr!%inces, planted in !ur ner%e centers(
Fiber b' #iber it has eaten int! us( Whether . shall 'et escape its ultiates :rape, ha%!c, urder,
lust:this reains t! be seen( .t sees t! e at ties that these narr!) )rists !%in" here are the
)rists !# a urderer(
., 3eath Bre"!r', b' the Brace !# B!d, bein" s!und in ind and b!d', d! a&e and !rdain
this ' last )ill and testaent, in the anner and #!r #!ll!)in", re%!&in" all !ther )ills
heret!#!re ade(
The be9uests ha%e been care#ull' )ei"hed( T! the literar' an . lea%e ' breath, t! #ertili;e
his discussi!ns, and c!!l his p!rrid"e( T! lad' n!%elists and chaberaids ' t!n"ue( .t still
retains a little nati%e salt( T! p!etr' a ne) suit !# cl!thes( T! the priest the &iss !# 0udas, ' c!sic
sel#( T! the pa)nbr!&er ' cruci#i6( T! Tar9uin ' !ld tin cu## lin&s, and t! ,!b! the )!rn8!ut
c!ntracepti%e !ut#it, )ith all "!!d )ishes( T! the En"lish nati!n . lea%e a pair !# !ld sh!es, "!ne at
the uppers, and a sell !n the landin"( .# the' )ant ' heart t! bur' beside Ben 0!ns!n in the
4bbe', the' can di%e #!r it( T! B!d . dedicate ' cla' pipe and c!p' !# the3ail' E6press, and '
e6pired seas!n tic&et( T! ' !ther . !##er ' iperishable s!ul( .t has ne%er reall' le#t her
&eepin"( T! Fann' ' ne) set !# teeth, and a b!ttle !# the hair rest!rer )hich didn/t )!r&( T! '
#ather a c!p' !# the Waste ,and and a &iss !n his unc!prehendin", pu;;led #ace( T! ' charlad'
. lea%e all th!se b!!&s in )hich the s!ul !# an is e%!l%ed thr!u"h iser' and laentati!n( $he
)ill #ind the inc!prehensible( T! the '!un" p!ets . !##er ' se6, since the' can a&e n! better
use !# their !)n( T! the -!urnalists ' %!ice t! assist the in their de%!ti!ns( T! lap d!"s '
huanit'( T! best sellers and !ther li%ers !## "arba"e, ' lau"hter in the &e' !# E #lat, and the
clippin"s !# ' t!enails( T! the "!%ernent ' e6creent that it a' tr' its sense !# hu!r( T!
the critics )hat the' deser%e2 and t! the public their critics(
T! Brace the #!ll!)in" ites> a cr!ss secti!n !# ' li%er, an ebr'! t!rn 9ui%erin" #r!
the )!b, a b!!& !# ser!ns, a tea dance, a dar& partner, l!%e8in8the8ist, snu##, and a )hite sister
t! sp!n"e her "aunt thi"hs )hen the ni"ht #alls(
4nd n!) it is tie t! ta&e the l!n" lea%eta&in" !# in& and paper, and all the curi!us )ar
charities )hich ha%e been c!rrupted b' bile and ruined b' en )ith the #aces !# cattle( 1antic, the
drea8sel# pr!-ects this %ast saturnine "rin acr!ss the taut c!s!s( . see en and )!en a"ain,
!%in" s!#tl' )ith e6pressi%e hands acr!ss the #l!!r !# the ind/s sun&en !ceans( $!#tl' and
dread#ull' in their %!icelessness( The stran"e dub !%eents !# plants under )ater, a!n" the
blithe cuttle#ish and )rin"in" !ct!p!ds, and the #!rests !# "esturin" trees( What . had t! !##er .
"a%e "ladl'( .t )as n!t en!u"h( What reains is ' !)n pr!pert'( T! the darlin" !# the "!ds . "i%e
the l!n" )ar "i#t !# acti!n( .t )as n! use t! e(
. shall be sittin" here )hen the' #ind e at idni"ht, )atchin" the lau"hter sti##en and
cruble )ith the ashes in the "rate( .t )ill n!t be di##icult( 4 brush and pan )ill be all that/s
needed( . shall si#t "entl' int! #ra"ents as . a !##ered t! the plan"ent dustbins( The rec!rd and
testaent !# a death )ithin li#e> a li#e in death(
T! these tedi!us pa"es, )hich . shall burn be#!re . lea%e, . !##er the "i#t !# li#e and the
realit' !# the ia"inati!n> the c!l!rs !# charit' and l!%e )ith!ut bitterness( 4 s!p t! &ill the )!r
)hich #attens in the( 4 #e) "rains !# h!nest'( 4nd a last ph!eni6 act !# re%elati!n a!n" "reater
beauties, in this ir!n "rate(
4nd t! 'sel#* . !##er !nl' the cr!!&ed "rin !# the t!ad, and a c!l!red cap t! cl!the '
na&edness( . ha%e need !# the b!th( 4en(
Here ends Bre"!r'(
! ! !
There is n! ne)s:n!ne )hats!e%er( The suer )ent d!)n at last in a hush !# b!)s, and
n!) )e are )aitin" #!r the #irst ir!n stateents !# )inter, the #irst "ru## breath #r! Tartar'( The
c!nstellati!ns are pinned !ut #!r us li&e speciens, sharp and ale%!lent( The $ic&le and the
T)ins, the <leiades and the 3!" $tar:$irius( N!) the ni"ht breathes authentic lun"s#ul !# arctic
air !n !ur b!dies( in the h!tel "ardens the cra;' declaati!n !# statues is alread' #r!;en( The #irst
chains are bein" dra)n acr!ss the #lesh !# the tra%eler as the earth leans !n her -!urne'( The liners
are "!in" !ut int! the ni"ht, )ar and el!di!us )ith li"hts( 4nd in the l!n" blue spaces !# ni"ht
curi!us pre!niti!ns !# death halt in the still air !# the pla'in" #ields, lin"er and disperse( The
a%en"er/s h!ur )hen e%en the l!%ers/ %!ices turn t! %ap!r, c!ld b!dies in c!ld beds arch up li&e
b!)s and sti##en2 )hen deserted !n a deserted pier the husband scribbles a p!st card t! his
dau"hter, and the "l!%ed tal!ns !# the blind an spell it !ut, pain#ull', in Braille( This is the
d!ldru, the ic' lib! bet)een seas!ns, bet)een the ne) sel# and the !ld, bet)een the death and
the bein" b!rn( The s&' is l'rical )ith stars but there is n! ne)s(
=r!ss !%er t! Bethlehe( The' )ill be able t! tell '!u #!r certain )hether s!ethin" )ill be
b!rn #r! this disc!rd !# the eleents, !r )hether the #iat has "!ne #!rth2 )hether this is pre8
nati%it' !r a p!st8!rte(
.t is the particular !ent )hen the pen han"s suspended !%er the paper, )ith the abs!lute
phrase han"in" in the nib( The phrase that )ill n!t be )ritten(
But )e ha%e called an aristice #!r these #e) da's !# lib!( We ha%e ade a truce in the
pri%ate and endless )ar )hich has been )ith us #!r s! l!n"( We are hardenin" !ur arteries #!r the
last tap, the %ict!r' !r de#eat( Tar9uin, !# c!urse, has scapered int! his cell and l!c&ed the d!!r
behind hi( +. ha%e entrenched 'sel# securel',+ he lisps, +a"ainst the incleenc' !# the seas!n( .
shall hibernate(+ But it sees t! e that this )inter is n!t s!ethin" !n )hich !ne can l!c& d!!rs(
.t d!es n!t e6ist !nl' !n the painted tradesen/s cards, but in the indi%idual hisel#, in the %er'
b!nes !# the pr!ta"!nist( .t is !re than the b!nes !# the #in"ers )hich ha%e "!ne dead( What is
this #anci#ul eanati!n )hich sees t! ha%e turned the bl!!d t! custard in !ur %eins* . d! n!t
&n!)( The %er' arr!) !# speculati!n has been turned t! ic' phle"( The s!n!r!us de)lap !# the
Bri"adier has turned purple( 4 thirst has sti##ened the h!c&s !# the curate( 4nd the s!re )attles !#
the i!rtal 1rs( 0uniper crac&le as she )al&s bac&)ard and #!r)ard in the bla;in" l!un"e(
+.# !ne )ere #alse,+ br!!ds Tar9uin, +h!) nice t! put !nesel# a)a' #!r the )inter( Ta&e !ut
the "lass e'e, unscre) the le"s, the ars( Re!%e the )i", the teeth, the sil%er plate in the s&ull, the
tubes in the anus and abd!en, and -ust clib int! bed and )ait #!r suer( in the late sprin" '!u
c!uld ha%e a "!!d repaint and clean up, and sall' #!rth in 4u"ust li&e a late cr!cus( H!) l!%el' it
)!uld be(+ 4ll da' the sullen tra##ic passes !utside the )ind!)( Tar9uin "l!ats in dar&ness, behind
dra)n blinds( ,ies in his )indin" sheets, #in"erin" the nailh!les in his #eet and hands( On the table
lies his latest e##!rt in pr!se, #resh #r! the t'pe)riter, and c!llectin" the dust( .t be"ins, startin"l'
en!u"h, in the disl!cated anner !# the earl' $urrealists>
The pudendu !# the aid )inces as )inces !nl' the b!)l !# bubbled suds and the el#in
h!psc!tch !# the street b!'( Ne%er, . sa', t! 'sel#, . sa', ne%er( Risin",. turn the tap !n, and the
s!#t "asli"ht i"nites the spuri!us aidenhair( Here, #ill '!ur pipe( $hall )e s!&e bl!ttin" paper
)hile !ur n!ses bleed*
He is a&in" e6perients in diss!ciati!n, he adits c!ldl', th!u"h n!thin" interests hi
these da's( This is because he cann!t "et his #eet )ar( +=ha#e ' t!es #!r e, )ill '!u*+ he sa's,
e6tendin" a lu6uri!us #!!t !ut !# the cl!thes( +But d!n/t e6cite e, )hate%er '!u d!(+
.n the apath' !# the l!n" e%enin"s )e lea%e ,!b!/s little r!!, )here the "h!st !# "uitar
ch!rds sees #!re%er t! han", and let !ursel%es !ut !# the bi" li"hted d!!rs, int! the sn!)lit
landscape !utside( .t is li&e a c!ld di%e int! )ater, s! nubin" that !ne can hardl' breathe !r spea&(
Tar9uin )al&in" li&e a "aunt aut!at!n beside us, e6halin" l!n" )ind' streaers !# s!&e, li&e a
h!rse, and )hinin" thr!u"h his teeth( The $paniard dra)s his scar# taut !%er his !uth, u##lin"
his %!ice( He is 9uite h'sterical ab!ut this Beran "irl, and has l!st all c!ntr!l !%er his h'steria( He
can/t eat, he can/t sleep, he can/t d! a daned thin" )ith!ut burstin" int! tears( .t a&es e %er'
iserable( Tar9uin is deli"hted b' these e6hibiti!ns( The' stri&e hi as iensel' "!!d
entertainent( N!)ada's, i# . )ant t! "et hi !utside the #r!nt d!!r, . ha%e !nl' t! su""est a )al&
)ith ,!b!(
We ha%e c!%ered the ut!st c!n#ines !# the ap in dar&ness these ni"hts, cr!ssin" the bare
)hite r!ads, the l!n" a%enues !# s!lderin" sh!ps, the tra r!utes, the deserted par&s( in ' s!ul
there has been such a iser' as . ha%e ne%er &n!)n be#!re( .t is the real strat!sphere !# e!ti!n,
)here there sees t! be n!thin" le#t but the an!d'ne !# cruelt' !r ph'sical pain( in the dar&ness
,!b! )ill suddenl' be"in tal&in" ab!ut his Beran "irl, the #ear#ul !aths the' s)!re, and the
i6in" !# their bl!!ds, and all that inc!prehensible barbaric pala%er )hich is settlin" !n his
e!r' li&e a leech( The inutest !# "estures the tilt !# her b!d', the in#lecti!n !# a )!rd, )ill
!ccup' hi #!r an h!ur, )hile he describes it, br!!ds !n it, e%en acts !n it in his 9ueer din&' little
)a'( Then, suddenl' haltin" in his trac&s, as i# ab!ut t! be sic&, he )ill burst int! a l!n" thr!at'
s!b, and a recitati%e !# br!&en $panish( His e'es are hun" )ith hu"e tears( Tar9uin be"ins t! lau"h,
and . a #!rced t! repeat iserabl'> +,!b!, #!r B!dsa&e n!), c!e !n, )ill '!u*+ He leans
a"ainst the #ence and )raps his scar# !%er his #ace( He is sha&en )ith hu"e -uic' s!bs( Tar9uin
)atches curi!usl' as . tr' t! "et hi )al&in" a"ain( +,ea%e e al!ne,+ he cr!a&s, li&e a child( 4s .
ta&e h!ld !# his sh!ulders he turns and runs at e as i# t! stri&e e !n the !uth( +A!u d!n/t #eel
it,+ he sa's an"ril', +)hat . #eel it is the iser' '!u d!n/t &n!) it(+ His chee&s are 9ui%erin"( There
is a treblin" tear !n the end !# his n!se( 4 little dis"usted . be"in t! plead )ith hi( His e'es li"ht
up )ith #ur'> +A!u sa' that '!u su##er )ith the "irl '!u &n!), but . sa' $H.T( The )!rd is n!
eanin" '!u( ( ( (+ Tar9uin lies a"ainst the #ence silentl' sha&in"( . #eel . c!uld urder hi( $n!)
is be"innin" t! #all a"ain( ,!b! is standin" there li&e a aniac e6pectin" e t! de#end ' capacit'
#!r su##erin"( He hates e #!r n!t bein" able t! -!in in a )ild e!ti!nal !utburst( Then he turns and
be"ins t! lurch d!)n the r!ad a"ain( We #!ll!) hi at a distance, "i%in" hi tie t! c!!l d!)n(
Tar9uin is deli"hted( +Tall' h!, )hat*+ he pipes cheer#ull', +tall' h!( 1' #eet are )ar at last( 4re
'!urs*+
.n the dil' li"hted r!!, )e sit !n the #l!!r and )atch <ere; li#t the "reat li%in" "uitar int!
his hands, and a&e it sin"( His "reat head is li#ted as he sin"s in a beauti#ul canine h'steria at the
ceilin"( He is stran"el' beauti#ul( 4nd catchin" si"ht !# ,!b! b' the "as #ire, his hands !%er his
ears, he suddenl' sh!uts in his per#ect En"lish> +$u##er, #!r hea%en/s sa&e, 49uarius, and be happ'(
.# '!u can still su##er(+ 4nd ch!&in" )ith deli"ht he pulls !pen his -a)s and sin"s, )ith a terri#ic
%en"eance, his #eatures curi!usl' pure8l!!&in", curi!usl' #resh, s!eh!) li&e a c!in(
Tar9uin is l'in" !n the !peratin" table( The #r!st has c!bbled up his !uth( He #eels n!thin"
'et, is n!t tha)ed under the chec& 9uilt( +Bi%e e s!e brand',+ he sa's, and dr!ps bac& li&e an
!piu addict, t! drea !# the 1editerranean and the dar& b!'s )ith )h! he sh!uld be "atherin"
sa##r!n ab!%e Kn!ss!s(
.n the c!rner b' the #ireplace =haberlain lau"hs hisel# al!st h'sterical !%er the ne)
a"a;ine( =r!uchin" d!)n )ith !ne hand spread side)a's in the bla;e !# the #ire he #lic&s the
pa"es, ar%elin"( Tar9uin a##ects a hu"e detachent, l'in" there )ith his e'es shut( The little h!!ts
!# lau"hter electr!cute hi> +1' dear !ld an,+ sa's =haberlain at last, leanin" !ut t!)ard hi
in the dar&ness, +' dear !ld an( This c!uldn/t ha%e been )ritten b' en, but b' plants( <lants,
Tar9uin7+ Tar9uin "!bbles indistinctl'( His chin diss!l%es and #l!)s sl!)l' d!)n his dressin"
"!)n t! the bed( The r!! is #ull !# arti#icial 'a)ns( +=!e,+ sa's =haberlain, rall'in" his sh!c&
tr!!ps( +=!e, 1' dear #ell!)(=!e7+
We are all sittin" there #r!;en b' apath'( =haberlain #ires "lances ar!und the r!!,
l!!&in" #!r s'pathies( N! !ne "i%es a dan( Tar9uin snu##les s!ethin" ab!ut +palpable literar'
abilit'(+ +.t/s n!t their abilit' !ne 9uesti!ns #!r a !ent,+ 'ells =haberlain, +it/s their e6istence(+
He pauses in idleap as i# struc& b' an e6pandin" bullet( We a%ert !ur e'es and lie bac& in !ur
c!rners sleepin" and utterin"( T)! da's since the #east !# $aint s!e!ne !r !ther, and )e are still
"r!""' #r! the celebrati!ns( The "ra!ph!ne p!urs itsel# endlessl' int! the r!!, rec!rd a#ter
rec!rd slun" !n b' the ne) chan"in" de%ice )hich Tar9uin has -ust b!u"ht( Bach thr!)s !ut a l!n"
r!pe !# c!unterp!int, but . a t!! )ear' t! rise t! the lure( The r!! is #ull !# r!pe( .t "!es in at
'!ur !uth and c!es !ut !# '!ur anus in a sin"le l!n" th!n"( 1utterin" and shi%erin" )e d!;e in
the dap r!!, li&e dru" addicts(
. recall an in#init' !# s!&' e%enin"s shared )ith hi and since #!r"!tten, the #ues !# the
pipes han"in" in the sti## air !# the !bs!lete billiard r!!( 4nd the )hite #ace pr!p!sin" a6i!s,
d!"a, aputatin" its !)n )!rds t! lean l!) !%er a sh!t2 and the in#lated s'b!ls !# !ur
abstracti!n, l!%e death, desire, etc(, clic&in" and cr!ssin" in their eanin"less ipacts(
=haberlain/s disease is the disease !# the d!" c!llar( Outside the accepted #ence !# ethics he #inds
hisel# #ace t! #ace )ith his an!n'it', and is unable t! !utstare it( His rhet!ric, his stapedin",
his #ulinati!ns represent an attept t! herd bac& int! the encl!sure a"ain( 4nd his disc!%er' !#
this state !# thin"s !nl' pr!duces "reater and "reater e##!rts, !re stea, !re ener"'( Bre"!r' .
adire, th!u"h . d! n!t understand hi s! )ell( His ch!ice )as the trap, because he c!uld n!t
stand the strat!sphere( =haberlain )!uld li&e t! ta&e his !)n ca"e )ith hi, and pitch it in the
deserted strat!sphere !# We( He is n!thin" but a spiritual c!l!ni;er, t! )h! the )ilderness is
int!lerable until it is culti%ated, pruned, trans#!red int! a replica !# h!e( He d!es n!t respect its
!)n p!siti%e la)s( He )!uld transplant his !)n( T! such a an there is n! eanin" in the )!rd
+e6ile(+ He )ill ne%er be an inhabitant !# that pri%ate pande!niu )hich Bre"!r' peeped int!
!nce be#!re cl!sin" the lid( The dar&ness )hich . 'sel# a be"innin" t! inhabit, t! c!nstruct
inc!n"ru!usl' #!r 'sel# !n the r!c&' n!rthern cli##s !# this .!nian island ?perhaps, )h! can tell,
e%en interpret b' the tappin" !# these etal p!th!!&s !n the paper '!u h!ld be#!re '!ur e'es@(
.n this theater it is all !r n!thin"( Onesel# is the her!, the cl!)n, the ch!rus2 there are n!
e6tras, and n! d!ubles t! accept the dan"ers( But !re terrible still, in the incessant )hine !# the
ch!rale, the )!rds, )!rds, )!rds spra'in" #r! the sti## !uth !# the as&s, !ne bec!es at last
a)are !# the identit' !# the audience( .t is ' !)n #ace in its incessant reduplicati!ns )hich bla;es
bac& at e #r! the st!ne aphitheater( ((( in the irr!r there is n! s'pt! )hate%er> ta&e e, .
a t! be accepted !r denied2 n!t t! be underst!!d, but e6perienced2 n!t t! be t!uched, but a #unnel
!# %irtue2 n!t a =hristian, but an adirer !# B!d in en( 3! n!t in9uire !# the in"enu!us as&, .
sa', it can tell '!u n!thin"(
.n these dap )inter da's the #irst "er is s!)n in e, as )e lie a"ainst the )all, shi%erin"
li&e addicts2 the "er . shall ta&e a)a' s!uth)ard )ith e2 )hich in this act !# tuis . a learnin"
t! c!ntr!l( The stru""le has been edie%al al!st( ,!n" )inter ni"hts, l'in" there )hile the sea
dr!%e up ni"ht8l!n" !%er !ne/s dreas, )ashin", #!re%er )ashin" and brea&in" up int! !ne/s
th!u"hts, puri#'in", healin", destr!'in"( The )ritin", then, is the pr!-ecti!n !# ' battle )ith the
dra"!n )h! disputed ' entr' int! the heraldic bar!nies( F!r e, at an' rate, it has been cardinal,
#!r . ha%e suddenl' "r!)n up in it( . a #allin" )est)ard steadil', enterin" the re"i!n !# the
pneuatic "i#t7 4 latitude )here e%en a li#eline is n! "!!d and the di%in" bell !# the phil!s!pher
cruples )ith lau"hter(
4nd 'et, at the !ther end !# the telesc!pe thr!u"h )hich . can see ' !)n p'"' hist!r'
pr!-ected, is al)a's #!r e =haberlain/s )hite #ace, its utter inc!prehensi!n a ere as& #!r
ideal certainties and delusi!ns, han"in" ab!%e an !bs!lete billiard table, hun"r' #!r ne)s in a )!rld
)hich has n! ne)s t! !##er( The suer )ent d!)n at last in a hush !# b!)s( That uch is hist!r'(
The rest, the )inter #!r instance, is s! uch a part !# us that )e are unable t! diss!ciate:t!
distin"uish it #r! !ur !ther diseases( The ept' sta"e !n )hich )e cl!)n brilliantl' under the
audience !# stars( 4 ballet !# huan bein"s ri"id !n !ur h!!&s, "entl' s)in"in" li&e #r!;en eat(
Hilda is l'in" in Bethlehe, dead drun&( This )inter is e%ent#ul #!r her, %eteran sp!rtsan
that she is( $he has l!st b!th !%aries( The seas!n there#!re is n! l!n"er cl!sed, but !pen( There is
n! !re the "reat enael b!)l b' the bed s)iin" in used c!nd!s and carb!lic acid( The b!)l
t! )hich <ere; !nce )r!te an !de !# #ruit#ulness( The b!)l a"ainst )hich ,!b! held his rac&ed
#!rehead as he %!ited( The )ilderness is paradise en!)( 4nd in the "reat stalli!n/s #ace there are
ne) ar&in"s, ne) +#ields+ !# e6perience, )hich sh!) that the stru""le is be"innin" a"ain( The
%erb +t! #uc&+ has bec!e s'n!n'!us )ith the %erb +t! be(+ .t is as i# this act )ere the !ne
assurance !# e6istence reainin" t! us still( $tarin" at the enlar"ed pupil !# the !ld stalli!n/s le#t
e'e, arri%in" in state in the plush c!rrid!r lined )ith st!!ls, and "!in" !%er the urder!us details !#
a brilliant h'sterect!'( 4ll these thin"s . "! thr!u"h blind#!ld( .t is )hen the "uitar be"ins t! sin"
in <ere;/ #in"ers that it is all recalled t! e( ,!b! in the attitude !# the bill' "!at( 4 edie%al
scribble in his underpants( Or <ere; risin" suddenl' !ut !# the bushes, blind drun&, and hu"e in the
!!nli"ht, )ith the "reat bell r!llin" under his shirt(
The penis !# the )hale #!r instance7 Or the b!!&8lined )alls !# Tar9uin/s r!!( E%er')here
b!!&s !n the path!l!"' !# adness( H!) is it that )e can be ad, and 'et s! saintl' 9uiet, )ith
hands #!lded in !ur laps li&e ept' "l!%es* .t is the persistent iracle( Out !# this dru" addict
shi%erin" the #ace !# Hilda #!rs, ap!cal'pticall' r!und as the b!)l !# the hea%ens, and scarlet as
the dra"!n( Or =!nnie turnin" !%er !n her side t! let the tide sluice her !ut( The .ndian Ocean
pr!pped !pen be#!re =lare, and his delicate ,e%antine #eatures han"in" !%er her, pale and a#raid(
Turnin" !%er, #!r e6aple, in a hu"e lather !# #!a, )inn!)in" the p!les )ith their "reat #eale
#lu&es( =!nnie and Hilda( 3ead blubber in a cha!s !# arctic li"hts, churnin" and !anin", until the
pale ,e%antine #ace is br!&en up int! its c!p!nents and sent re%!l%in" d!)n the "ullet !# the
)hirlp!!l( 4nd t! the 9uesti!n> +Wh! intr!duced '!u*+ Tar9uin n!) "i%es the ans)er, +1'
!ther(+ This is e6treel' si"ni#icant( The )all is lined )ith b!!&s )hich are hardl' e%er !pened(
+4 b!!&,+ sa's =haberlain, +is a testi!n' !# ine##icient acti!n( . shall li%e instead(+
Or the )!rld !# El Brec!, s!&', ill8li"hted, "l!)in" li&e radiu( ?Ta&e '!ur ch!ice, ta&e
'!ur ch!ice, but lea%e e in peace( Be!l!"' has n! terin!l!"' #!r these #issures, schists, b!sses,
sna"s( Ta&e '!ur ch!ice(@
Or the bit #r! Bre"!r'/s diar' )hich . did n!t dare t! 9u!te( ?+What can . d!* What can .
d!* There is n! acti!n in e( The %er' sper that runs #r! ' penis is null( .t is n!t %irtue "!in"
!ut #r! e, but a dead l!ss t! the b!d', the ps'che, the )ill( 1' %italit' runs !ut !# e li&e pus,
and there is n! #i"ure !# "rie# str!n" en!u"h t! e6press it( $hall . p!ur ' hair thr!u"h ' #in"ers*
$hall . tie the "rin !# the adan r!und ' #ace li&e a scar#*+@
.n the deserted billiard r!! )here the p!c&ets han" li&e plundered scr!tus ,!b! dances
the dance !# the .ncas, 9uite na&ed( He st!ps !n tipt!e, )histles li&e a )ren, and snea&s behind the
curtains "i""lin"( =haberlain is tal&in" ab!ut En"land, the <uritan Father !# the )!rld( His #ace is
the #ace !# a burnt8!ut duchess( The !ld Bab'l!nian )h!re that is En"land, burnt !ut, "utted, )ith
the disease eltin" her e'es in their s!c&ets( Then ,!b! appears a"ain #r! behind the curtain )ith
an erecti!n al!st t)ice as bi" as hisel# and )e all st!p in c!nsternati!n( We are celebratin" the
sec!nd c!in" !# =hrist )ith a a!th part'( R'e )his&', rubber, and a c!l!red ar"!s' !# #ine
slan" )h!res #r! the West End( <!pp' and Ethel ha%e alread' #!u"ht )ith =!nnie( 4nd =lare in
tr'in" t! inter%ene recei%ed a bl!) !n the side !# the head )ith a l!aded handba" that nearl' t!!&
his ear !##( <!pp' is pure litus( 3ip her in urine and she turns p!pp'8c!l!red, s!n!lent, dru"8
e'ed, '!pic, ha'seed( N!) the en/s trade uni!n has inter%ened( .t is, a#ter all, the sec!nd da' !#
the debauch, and )e )ant a bit !# ale pri%ac'( $! in the billiard r!! )e rearran"e the c!s!s
acc!rdin" t! a ne) pattern, )hile the )!en s9uabble in the la%at!ries and tear each !ther/s hair
!##( $! uch #!r the c!s!s(
.nc!n"ru!usl' =haberlain and . c!nstruct the ne) idealis !%er the billiard table> an
idealis !re danin", !re h'sterical, !re ruin!us than an' that has 'et been &n!)n( Had . n!t
)ritten it !ut !# ' s'ste alread', . sh!uld be dead print t!da', instead !# this acar!nic p!e
)hich is desi"ned t! b!re clean thr!u"h the iddle ear, and lea%en the cranius !# the )ise(
En!u"h( One sh!uld ne%er )rite !# acc!plishent, because n!thin" is e%er #inall' acc!plished(
That is the traua !# the ideal( .t is the tieless acti!n in its iediac' that . ust c!ncentrate !n,
here, n!)> this paper, this pen, this c!unterp!int al!n" )hich the ies carr', in a #uneral
easure, the c!rpse !# the Thee( . ha%e &ept the r!tatin" in e s! l!n", li&e a pra'er )heel(
,i&e a "reat r!arin" err'8"!8r!und !# #aces( The h!rse %erili!n8n!striled, the peelin" unic!rn,
the dra"!n breathin" acet'lene( . a c!ntinuall' #!rced t! st!p and ar%el at the inc!n"ruit' !#
pe!plin" the .!nian )ith such a ballet2 as i#, in a clear )ater' !!nli"ht !ne ni"ht, )hile the
shepherds !n the la"!!n piped their sl!) bubblin", curdlin" 9uarter t!nes, a #leet !# heraldic #ish
)ere t! s)i up under the h!use, and depl!' #lashin" acr!ss the paper, acr!ss the b!!&shel#, the
painted peasant )!an at the )ell, the ships !n the carpet and ' )i#e asleep in the archair( ( ( (
,!b!, )ith the bea& !# the s)!rd#ish per#!rin" )ater' acr!batics under the 4lbanian sn!)s7 .t is
%er' curi!us(
<erhaps it is !ur l!neliness here, !n the bare r!c&s !# a r!c&' c!ast line that a&es '
c!nnecti!n )ith these sub-ects tenu!us en!u"h acr!ss the #!a, the r!c& p!!ls, the little li"hth!use8
shrine )here $t( Barbara !n )!!d br!!ds #!re%er !n a sashed lap and a p!!l !# !il:that a&es
this c!nnecti!n be l!%e> e%en #!r Tar9uin a l!%e:a hu!r:)hich is all #riendl'( 3i%in" #r! the
l!)est scrap int! the "reen teatie )ater . recall suddenl' that Tar9uin, in his dressin" "!)n, is
)ritin" a letter t! his l!%er be"innin", +3ear dear 3ic&+2 !r under )ater, pain#ull' s)iin" )ith
)ebbed #eet and hands, see =haberlain/s b!d', bullet )!unds and all, dra""ed up under the ri%er
li"hts, celebratin" a suicide that he )as t!! tiid t! c!it( He is !#ten )ith us> in the !rnin"
)hen the sails slip d!)n t!)ard =rete, red, 'ell!), "reen2 in the a#tern!!ns dancin" the !ld dances
!n the ept' r!c&s )ith The!d!re2 at ni"ht )hen the ap!cal'pse !# !!n8rise shi%ers up int! !ne/s
thr!at and the l!ne #isheren li"ht their buds !# #lae and put !ut2 )hen the an and his )i#e
s)i n!iselessl' under the h!use li&e d!"s, 9uietl' tal&in", t!)ard the !pen sea(
$ittin" here, !n the pr!phetic blac& r!c&, )here the .!nian c!es in and t!uches, stealth'
elastic, li&e a blue cat/s8pa), . ha%e seen =haberlain li#t that "un t! his !uth a d!;en ties,
al)a's t! dr!p it a"ain( . ha%e seen !re than e%er the !dern disease l!!in" in the )!rld
!utside this sea, r!c&, )ater2 the terrible disinte"rati!n !# acti!n under the hide!us pressure !# the
ideal2 the disease !# a )!rld e%er' da' !re accuratel' p!rtra'ed b' Halet2 the disease )hich
ade Bre"!r' label the reainin" da's !# 1e le#t t! hi, his death( The disease )hich ((( .
e6aine ' !)n #ace care#ull' in the irr!r, #in"er the( battered s&ull, c!nsult the sun&en !rbits( .t
is n!t the #irst tie in hist!r' that the "ul# has !pened up bet)een the pe!ple and their a&ers:the
artists( But the chas has ne%er been s! %ast, s! uncr!ssable( The creat!r, terribl' auled and
dis#i"ured, has bec!e the audience instead !# the prie act!r( He can d! n!thin"( in the
subterranean Hades !# the sel#, !n the )et arsh #l!)erin" in "reat #esterin" lilies and p!ppies, the
delusi!ns "ather and han", iasic( The curati%e %irtue is bein" turned t! blac& bile, t! p!is!n, t!
c!rr!si%e( .t is the 3ar& 4"es !penin" a"ain( We are "!in" d!)n, in a supree 3ance !# 3eath t!
the terinus, a!n" the e6tree uncti!ns !# the %i!lins( This is the "!in" d!)n int! the t!b
)hich Bre"!r' e6perienced as a unit( +Ended( .t is all ended( . reali;e that n!), li%in" here !n the
"reen carpet and li%in" there in the irr!r( $! pr!#!und is the c!n%icti!n that there is n!thin" . can
d! t! reassure 'sel#( . a a little a"in" an, "!ne bald !n t!p, )ith n!t e%en a thubed seas!n
tic&et t! sal%ati!n( What shall . d!* . a #allin" apart, the delicate ;'"!n !# ' "rain is !pened( .
a rustin", ' &nees are rustin", the #illin"s in ' teeth, the plate in ' -a) is rustin"( .# . )ere
!nl' R!an en!u"h t! !)n a s)!rd )e sh!uld see s!e #ine c!nclusi!ns t! this alad'( 4las7 4re
there !nl' the deadle#t t! bur' the dead* .t is the 9uesti!n n!t !# the !ent, but !# all tie( This is
' eternal t!pic, ., Bre"!r' $t'lites, destr!'ed b' the pr!ble !# pers!nal acti!n(+
.n the #allin" ni"ht !# ' Tibetan e!ries . sit b' the bed lap and read these lines !%er
and !%er a"ain( Once . )as !%ed b' the( But in this #atal third act, this last as9ue #!r )hich
paper and )!rds are inade9uate, . ha%e hardl' an' r!! #!r #eelin"2 n!t that s! uch, but it is as i#
. ha%e "!ne dead in the %ital centers( . ha%e bec!e a puppet, )ith!ut an' %!liti!n !# ' !)n(
When . a )ith Tar9uin, . share his death, )ith ,!b! his pre-udices, )ith =haberlain his ideals(
F!r ' !)n part . a #allin" int! an utter an!n'it'( . accept e%er'thin" and e6aine n!thin"(
3ead, in a 9ueer )a'( 4putated at the tapr!!ts( 4nd inside e the su##!catin" iser' )hich .
ass!ciate )ith her b!d', th!u"h it is un-ust t! d! s!( . sit !%er ' b!!&s li&e an insect these l!n"
ni"hts, !r )al& the l!n" c!ld streets, sha&en )ith the t!rent !# indecisi!n and ania, )h!se cause
. cann!t #ath!( . )a&e at ni"ht and #ind tears !n ' #ace, #r! lau"hter !r s!rr!), . d! n!t &n!)
)hich( Tibet han"s li&e a sphin6 !%er the re%isited childh!!d )hich ' dreas !##er e> the
craters craed )ith -e)elr'2 the hills cur%in" up int! their %erti"in!us #l!)ers !# sn!)2 the da)n
!penin" li&e a c!ral ubrella !n ,hasa2 the 'a& and the blac& bear the !nl' %isit!rs !# that iense
%ista in tie2 the !nasteries as re!te as stars !n the hills2 e%er'thin" has #allen up!n e in this
stu##' En"lish r!! )ith a path!s that is be'!nd in&( Well, . a !ne !# the "enerati!n )hich .
)!uld li&e t! urder( . cann!t escape( That is )hat c!es !# bein" b!rn )ith an erecti!n, and
thr!)n #!r dead in the bas&et2 perhaps )e ust end !n the "ibbet, under the le%ers !# the hired
butchers, )ith the sae erecti!n in death that )e &ne) in birth( There is uch t! be d!ne:)!r&
)!rth' !# a an2 and i# there )ere the least chance !# ' bein" underst!!d . )!uld be"in( Here, .
ha%e the dith'rab, here, in this %er' r!!, !n the sec!nd shel# #r! the le#t( .t is !nl' the#aith !#
audience )hich sees t! be lac&in"( . ha%e traced the "er !# acti!n t! the p!e, and it is the
p!e )hich . )!uld li&e t! ebed in the pers!nalit'> an e%erlastin" spatial heraldr' t! burn acr!ss
pers!nal acti!n li&e the brand !# =ain( F!r"i%e the arr!"ance( . a n!t e%en a 1aster !# 4rts(
$ipl' a bastard child !# the huanities( There is n! distin"uishin" label( . reali;e this )hen . tal&
t! s!e!ne li&e Ba;ain ?3!ct!r Ba;ain@, that c!c&e'ed idi!t )h! has n!t the least idea !# the
eanin" !# the )!rd +therap'(+ His uni%erse c!nsists !# the #r!ntal l!be, the tep!ral l!be, and the
!ccipital l!be2 n!t t! enti!n the parietal l!be, !r the edulla( 4n' phen!ena )hich e6ist !utside
this d!ain pu;;le hi( E%en siple phen!ena li&e 1!r"an, #!r instance( This !rnin" )e et
hi in the l!un"e, dressed in a blue ser"e suit and hu"e crea&in" br!)n sh!es( .t )as his da' !##,
he e6plained t! us, and he )as ta&in" B)en up t! the West End( +B!in" t! arr' her*+ . su""est
pla'#ull', )hereup!n he bec!es %er' e6pansi%e and c!n#idential, s!ethin" 9uite unusual #!r
hi( +1arria"e,+ he sa's, bendin" d!)n t! us )here )e sit !n the s!#a ?he pr!n!unces it
+erritch+@, +)ell, . al)a's said it/s n!t #!r e, sir, but i# she )ants it:)ell, . d!n/t )ant t!
disapp!int her(+ Then, leanin" d!)n, e%er !re c!n#identiall', !%er us, he beas li&e a li"hth!use
and )hispers, +$he/s that "!!d, sir, . c!uld eat /er shit, sir(+ Whereup!n Ba;ain nearl' #alls t! the
#l!!r( When 1!r"an "!es he be"ins t! sa' an"ril' h!) !utra"e!usl' dis"ustin" the an is, and the
idea !# tal&in" t! residents in that )a'7 <aradin" his se6ual per%ersi!ns li&e that ( ( ( +But a'be it
isn/t a per%ersi!n,+ . sa' ildl'( +1a'be it/s -ust a #i"ure !# speech(+ Ba;ain c!u"hs sti##l' and sa's
in his !st Harle' $treet anner, +Well, it s!unds li&e the #r!ntal l!be t! e7+ in the be"innin"
)as the )!rd2 and the )!rd )as Ba;ain2 and Ba;ain )as an idi!t( 4s #!r 1!r"an an' !re h!nest'
!n his part and he )ill l!se his -!b7 The idea7
Well, all these incidents ha%e the rin" !# iense tri%ialit' )hen . thin& !# the, sittin"
here a!n" the b!!&s at ni"ht, a)are !# the statues and the sn!) !utside( ,!b! c!plainin" !# his
latest )!an because she #arts incessantl' )hile the' are in bed, and a&es hi +dis"ust+2 <ere;,
tal&in" in his per#ect deented En"lish ab!ut 4nne )h! )as s! beauti#ul and )h! has n! teeth in
her !uth:-ust t)! s!#t r!)s !# "us( The #irst sh!c& !# &issin" her, and #indin" e%er'thin" pulp(
What an e6perience, he repeats, #!r an En"lish $unda' a#tern!!n7
$unda' a#tern!!n7 Blinds dra)n, sn!) #allin", sh!ps shut( The terrible caden;as !# the late
buses under an ice8b!und !!n( 4 illi!n iles !# b!red! stretched ti"ht acr!ss the earth b' the
se%enth da' !# the )ee&( F!rnicati!n and l!c&-a) l!c&ed #ast in the chill' bedr!!s !# the p!!r b'
the )allpaper, the china )ashstands, the #raes !# the pictures( 3eli%er us #r! the blind en !#
=at#!rd( We ha%e eetin"s in these chill' r!!s, but it is a eetin" !# specters, s! )ithdra)n int!
his pri%ate pande!niu is each !# us( The helets han" sti##, as i# #r!;en( The #ires are li"hted, "!
!ut, are reli"hted( The sn!) !pens lethar"' in us li&e s! an' ra;!rs( N!)ada's e%en the #inal
sta"es !# Tar9uin/s disease see si"ni#icant !# n!thin"( When he "ab!ls !r appears t! "ab!l,
)hen he t!sses his head and a&es a &ittenish epi"ra there is n!thin" t! d! but t! ans)er,
+T)eet( T)eet(+ This in#uriates hi( . tell hi ab!ut 1!r"an/s c!n%ersati!n )ith Ba;ain and he is
nearl' sic&( +,ea%e e,+ he sa's sti##l', +since '!u d! n!t share an' decent #eelin"s !n such a
sub-ect( <u"h7 B)en, that dirt' little s&i%%', sellin" !# stale piss and "rease #r! the sin&7 What
an id'l, ' dear, h!) can '!u sile*+
. sile because . can #eel n!thin"( . suspend -ud"ent !n e%er'thin" because s! little e6ists(
. a stran"led b' the da's that pass thr!u"h e, b' the huan bein"s . a #!rced t! eet( N!thin",
n!thin", acr!ss these acres !# sn!) and ice, this arctic seas!n, e6cept !ccasi!nal ra"es, !ccasi!nal
#its !# )eepin"(
.n the drab picture "aller' . c!e up!n =haberlain suddenl'( He is sittin" under the #aded
Nat Field, dishe%eled, untid', iserable( . recall that he has been issin" #!r three )h!le da's2 n!
!ne &n!)s )here he %anished t!, !r )h'( There )as s!e tal& a #e) da's a"! in ,!b!/s r!!, but .
did n!t pa' uch attenti!n t! it( The suburban 'th!l!"' )as be"innin" t! b!re e( N!) it is a
pure #lu&e . ha%e run acr!ss hi in this deserted "aller', dr!ppin" )ith #ati"ue and )ild8#!!ted( .
"! up silentl' t! hi, #ear#ul that he i"ht tr' t! escape e( His #ace is %er' ancient and sleep'8
l!!&in"2 hair atted2 his e'es are surr!unded in hu"e de%el!pin" ar&s( He d!es n!t attept e%en
t! spea&, )hen he #irst sees e, let al!ne run a)a'( We sit side b' side and stare at the sn!)'
"ardens, the l!aded hed"es, the icicles !n the "utters( He sa's at last he has been )al&in" all da'
and sleepin" in the par&s at ni"ht( in such )eather7 He ust ha%e l!st his -!b t!!( The )h!le "aut
!# theater has been runnin" thr!u"h his ind li&e a strip !# #il> hisel# d'in", hisel# bein"
n!ble, hisel# )eepin", hisel# li#tin" the re%!l%er( 4H #alse, #alse, #alse( He adits it h!arsel'(
4s #!r his )i#e, B!d &n!)s )hat she/s d!in"( +. l!athe her,+ he sa's, +but the brea&up is terribl'
pain#ul( A!u can/t understand that unless '!u/%e li%ed )ith a )!an, !ld an( . ad!re her(+ 4nd s!
!n( $l!)l' it all c!es !ut:their 9uarrels, her "radual settlin" apath'( He is al!st c!p!sed as
he tal&s, his #in"ers latch t!"ether #irl'( +.t/s n!t theater entirel'( . #eel hal# ad( .# . had the
stren"th t! "! ad it )!uld be )!nder#ul, the resp!nsibilit', . ean( .t )!uld all be !ut !# '
hands( The' c!uld put e a)a'( But here . a, ans)erable #!r ' li#e, d!n/t '!u see, dan it* ./
culpable, ./ resp!nsible:. d!n/t &n!) )hat t! d!(+
His curi!us #ati"ue8lined #ace ch!ppin" up the s'llables( +There are n! !re the!ries #!r e
#r! n!)( Fuc& the illusi!ns and the #l!urishes( Fr! n!) !n there are !nl' pe!ple(+ He "ets up
and starts t! )al& a)a'( Then he c!es bac&( +,isten, '!u d!n/t &n!) )here Bre"!r' is b' an'
chance*+
+. ne%er et hi,+ . sa'(
He turns and runs li"htl' d!)n the steps, #aunli&e, "race#ul, int! the sn!), turnin" up his
c!at c!llar( 4t the "ate he "i%es !ne #urti%e l!!& bac& and be"ins t! run( 4nd all !# a sudden it is as
i# . a bleedin" int! the sn!) 'sel# )hen . #ace the brea&up !# that )!rld( 4cr!ss this sun8blind
4driatic landscape =haberlain is runnin" blind, cat8#!!t acr!ss the sn!) t! his c!nclusi!ns( 4
)eird cr!!&ed li"ht shines !n the )alls !# ,!b!/s r!!, !n the #arland, the #r!st' turrets, the land
!# la&es )here '!u are l'in"( What is all this iser' beside the iser' !# the hills, the iense
a"!n' !# the rain, the tha), the ne) #ruit buried in the earth* There is a spirit !utside us all )hich is
a##ectin" e, incitin" e t! -!in its p!i"nance, its su##erin"( . d! n!t &n!) )hat t! call it( . !pen a
b!!& at an' place in an' )eather and be"in readin", because . d! n!t )ant t! c!ncern 'sel# )ith
this thin", this ( ( (
3eath( 3eath !# the b!ne, the tissue, the thi"h, the #eur( in the sae deep sn!) a 'ear later
at 1arble 4rch . run up!n a #ace li&e =haberlain/s !uthin" #r! a )!!den pulpit( 4 terrible
strained sh!utin" in the %!id !# sel#, and !utside:actuall' !utside:a dancin" "esticulatin" leader
!# the ne) asses( Ne) st'les in the s!ul/s architecture, ne) chan"e !# heart( Aes, but ideal #!r
ideal( =!pensat!r' acti!n #!r acti!n( in that shabb' arena, surr!unded b' the l!us', dap, b!red,
#r!;en pe!ple !# 1errie En"land the spea&er !##ered the an En"land that )as ideall' 1errie( We
hurried aside in the sn!), t!! in%!l%ed in each !ther t! b!ther the bl!nd bea&' #ace> the sat'r led
capti%e in his red halter( +$hall the haer and the sic&le ta&e n!te !# a #e) tears and cherished
b!ttles*+
Fr! this t! that !ther circus )here Tar9uin plies the #luted drin&in" "lass and car%es
hisel# <an pipes( ,et us escape t!"ether, '!u and ., he is al)a's sa'in"( We need n!t !%e( ,!!&,
here is Kn!ss!s, under the blue craters !# !untains( Here is de 1ande%ille/s )!rld( Here is a st!ne
a"e !# the spirit, taciturn as the a!th( Here is the E"'ptian )ith his pals turned !ut)ard,
s!#tl' dancin" and h'nin"( The Etruscan treadin" his delicate in%isible rh'ths int! the
earth(Escape7 ?.n a sall cardb!ard b!6 !n the antelpiece, )rapped in c!tt!n )!!l, he &eeps a
renal calculus and a bit !# dr' br!)n ubilical c!rd7@
+The ph'sical )!rld n!),+ sa's Tar9uin, )ei"hin" his scr!tu "ra%el' in his ri"ht hand(
+Ta&e the ph'sical )!rld #!r instance(+ He is "ra%el' )ei"hin" the ph'sical )!rld in his ri"ht hand(
Ver' )ell, then( ,et usta&e the ph'sical )!rld( There is n! char"e( We c!n#r!nt that ab-ect
specien, the !dern ph'sicist, and disc!%er the shabb' circus anial he !)ns, hidden a)a' in the
dar&er recesses !# the etaph'sical ca"e( 4 l!us', de-ected, c!nstipated 4erican li!n )ith!ut s!
uch as a health' #art le#t in it( +The aternal instinct in ice can be ar!used b' subcutane!us
in-ecti!ns !# pr!lactin,+ sa's Tar9uin, )ei"hin" anch!r at last( +This pushes '!ur set !# %alues
side)a's( N!) ta&e the thalaus( The' are -ust d!in" s!e )!nder#ul tric&s )ith that( Or Bac!t
#illin" the intestines !# lice )ith Ric&ettsia8in#ected bl!!d( 1' dear #ell!), can '!u seri!usl' tell
e )hether the breath !# the H!l' Bh!st enters #r! the na%el, the thenar, the c!l!n, the hip, !r the
l!be !# the ear*+
Here is Tar9uin, %er' e6cited b' the ne) heres', as he calls it, )ei"hin" his scr!tu "ra%el'
in his ri"ht hand( =!e, . sa', in ' pert )a', separate the '!l& #r! the )hite( in the hall . ha%e a
#ine ne) cedar)!!d cr!ss #!r '!u( . !##er it t! '!u #ree !# char"e( E6chan"e it #!r this dead
pre!ccupati!n )ith the c!p!nents !# the ph'sical )!rld( We are duelin" n!) all da' !%er this
thee, and #ran&l' it "ets tires!e a#ter a tie( Tar9uin has deluded hisel# #!r s! l!n" ab!ut his
+ps'chic superi!rit'+ !%er e, that he is sad t! see e escapin" his clutches( +A!u/re a #unn' little
bu""er,+ he sa's, l'in" !n the bed )hile . cha#e his t!es and p!ur !ut the h!t c!##ee( +. supp!se '!u
d!n/t understand e( A!u lac& #aith, that/s )hat it is( 3ic&' )as here last ni"ht and he )as sa'in"
that t!!(+ 3ic&', !# c!urse, has the brain !# a ne)t and the dash !# a sprat, s! such an idea needs
apli#icati!n( +He )as sa'in" that '!u )ere arr!"ant(+
. a pained b' this2 a#ter all, it is !nl' ' ab-ect huilit' )hich has created this !nip!tent
attitude in Tar9uin, )hich he "l!ri#ies as a superi!rit'(
+N!, but '!u d!n/t understand e, reall',+ insists the her!( +A!u !nl' see the #acade>
underneath there are en!r!us reser%es !# stren"th, )ithstandin" crisis a#ter crisis( .# there )eren/t
. sh!uld be dead b' n!)(+
. cl!se d!)n and sit at the des&, readin" s!e !# the latest l!%e l'rics that the ne) !de !#
li#e has been hatchin" !ut #!r hi( +The sprin"tide !# desire, ' dear,+ Tar9uin said t! e(
+<!siti%el' a l'ric %ein runnin" thr!u"h e:a ner%e !# l'ricis(+
There is n! ne)s( 3a' b' da' )e are brea&in" d!)n, b!rin" d!)n, int! the pulp chaber !#
atter, and da' b' da' the )!rld bec!es less inte"ral, less )h!le, and the unis!n )ith it less pure(
This is the ice a"e !# c!p!nents(
4t ni"ht . #uel the car and set !## !n iense -!urne's !# disc!%er', pl!ttin" ' path acr!ss
the ice#ields, the land !# p!lari;ed li"ht )here e%er'thin" is lunac' and lanterns, and the Ban"es !#
the spirit #l!)s bet)een the ban&s !# blac& sand( On the eastern sh!res the b!ats snub 9uietl' at
anch!r( The sn!) pelts the, and ries their ri""in"( 4ll s!rts !# ne) lan"ua"es see t! be
c!in" )ithin ' "rasp> the #!rulae !# the sciences, the runes, the surds2 . a such a %at#ul !#
br!&en, cha!tic aterial that it )ill be a iracle i# an'thin" can e%er reasseble this crude a"a,
detritus, "abbr!, int! a sin"le !r"anic )h!le:e%en a b!!&( But the hun"er, the ra%enin" at the
b!tt! !# all this, . rec!"ni;e at last( .t is n!t a thirst #!r l!%e !r !ne' !r se6, but a thirst #!r
li%in"( The pulp chaber is desire, the principle a s!rt !# ania, a l!%e:in )hich '!u pla' al!st
n! part )hats!e%er( . re#er t! '!u n!) as . re#er t! the !!n, an!ia, !r s!rdes( in ' -!urne's .
pu;;le !%er !ur relati!nship, !ur utual acts, !ur !ccasi!nal iseries> and #ind the al)a's !utside
the ainsprin" !# this principle, this pr!"ressi%e deentia, in )hich . a reachin" !ut, #!re%er
reachin" !ut )ith cr!!&ed ars and an ept' ind t!)ard the inaccessible abs!lute( This is the
thee !# tra%el )hether the t!)ns )hirl b' e under the !!n, !r )hether . a at ' deal des& in
the =!ercial $ch!!l( Thule, ultia Thule( There is a steppin"8!## place:a little Tibetan %illa"e,
stuc& li&e a sprin"b!ard in the side !# the !untains( There are n! #riends t! see us !##> !ur
banners, !ur catch)!rds, !ur her!is:these thin"s are n!t underst!!d here( The nati%es ha%e
!ther criteria( Be'!nd us the passes !pen li&e #l!)ers in the settin" sun, the delicate "ates !# the
un&n!)n c!untr'/s b!d', the A!ni !# the )!rld, lute!us, lute!us, unbearabl' l!nel'( .s the -!urne'
plural !r a . al!ne* .t is a 9uesti!n !nl' t! be ans)ered at the !utp!sts( . )ill turn perhaps and
#ind a shad!) beside e( N! tears can scald the sn!), !r the ale%!lence !# the )hite pea&s( . can
in%!&e n! help e6cept the idi!tic s9uea&in" !# the pra'er )heel( We !%e s!#tl' d!)n the )hite
sl!pes, irresistible as a "atherin" landslide, t!)ard the last "aunt liit !# #lesh( N!) )e ha%e
n!thin" in c!!n but !ur cl!thes and !ur lan"ua"e( The priests ha%e st!len the rest as "i#ts #!r
B!d( The ice under !ur h!!#s aches and screeches, urder!us as the s9uee"ee( This is the "reat
be"innin" . planned #!r s! l!n"( H!) )ill it end*
. a recalled #r! this e6cursi!n b' a rap at the d!!r( =haberlain( +What d! '!u thin&*+
he sa's, thr!)in" his hat !n the rac& )ith the air !# a atad!r( +$he/s pre"nant(+ We sit d!)n !n
the s!#a and he c!llapses )ith lau"hter, sh!)in" e%er' t!!th in his head( Then he sits a )hile
sni##in" h'stericall', str!&in" ' &nee and tal&in" ab!ut !rnin" sic&ness, e%enin" sic&ness and
idni"ht bell' bupin"( He is all unner%ed, but #illed )ith a &ind !# #anatical happiness( +$!
e%er'thin" sees settled( B!d7 )hat #!!ls )e a&e !# !ursel%es( 4ll the a"!n' ./%e been thr!u"h,
!%er a dan ten8centieter #etus( B' the )a', ./%e "!t a ar%el!us -!b, t)! hundred a 'ear !re(
./ thr!u"h )ith the b!d' 'stical and all that stu## #r! n!), . can tell '!u( ( ( (+ He is plannin" a
beauti#ul suburban e6istence, c!plete )ith la)n!)er and "reenh!use, . can see that( . ha%e n!t
the )ill t! utter an'thin" but c!plients t! hi( The child )ill be stillb!rn, . &n!), but . a n!t
all!)ed t! tell hi that( . tr' t! see hi n!t as a pers!n but as part !# the acti%e )!rld:the )!rld .
a tr'in" t! create here> the sn!), . ean, the blind cr!!&ed sn!) li&e s!#t iense dri#ts !#
needles, and the unresp!nsi%e h!tel beds t! )hich ' !ther ies "! at ni"ht, e6pectin" t! dra)
c!#!rt #r! the, but "et n!ne( ,!b! and Tar9uin #acin" each !ther !%er the #ire, the u##ins, the
c!unterp!int !# the third Brandenbur"( T)! separate c!ntinents( $panish 4erica li&e the cruci#i6
!%er the bed, the thin "!ld chain r!und his hair' little )rist( The r!)s !# c!l!red sh!es in their
ballet( <ere;, the !st ele"ant l!a#er !# #i%e c!ntinents, in )h! all lan"ua"es blend and bec!e
accessible, all )!en bec!e a sin"le archet'pe( 1!r"an the c!ic #iend !# the .n#ern! st!&in"
the b!ilers !# B!d( Ba;ain, Farn!l, <eters peterin" !ut in saltpeter( Or Tar9uin, his "reat
"raarian/s craniu spinnin" li&e a t!p in the candle shine2 his "reat )hite #eet #r!;en in their
#urred slippers> participant in a Eur!pean death as 'et inc!prehensible t! !st Eur!peans( Or
<ere;, !n his hu"e t)in&lin" #eet, sparrin" )ith 1!r"an in #r!nt !# the b!ilers at idni"ht( +<ull
'!ur punches, n!)( 3!n/t #!r"et,+ he sa's2 and this idea 1!r"an h!lds in his ind )ith "reat
di##icult', p!nder!usl', li&e a d!"( But )hen there is bl!!d s!a&in" int! the s!#t leather !# the
"l!%es2 bl!!d in a l!n" )a%e #l!)in" !%er <ere;/ !uth and chin2 bl!!d that ar&s his an
)here%er he hits hi2 then the c!ntr!l "!es, and the butcher li"hts up in 1!r"an( 4n al!st %isible
li"ht, li&e candles shinin" under the s&in( 4nd the air is thic& )ith their shu##lin" b!dies, #airin",
ch!pped, pantin"(
Or e%en 1iss $ith, i# '!u li&e> carried !n a p!le be#!re the tribe, 'et sittin" in the c!er !#
the car, titterin" at ,!b!/s "allantries( 3i%in" int! her handba" t! pr!duce !re p!)der, )hich runs
!## her dr' #ace int! her lap( Tal&in" t! Eustace 4das in t!nes c!pletel' inaudible( Bein" a#raid
!# 1arne'( 4nd ab!%e all u""in" up =haucer/s !bscenities s!lenl' in the n!tes(
.nc!prehensible, inc!prehensible(
There is a l!t ab!ut death in this2 t!! uch perhaps, #!r . ha%e subscribed %er' hea%il' t!
Tar9uin/s buc&et8sh!p ideals( F!r hi it is reall' the death:the Bastard 3eath, i# '!u li&e, !r the
3eath Dnder the $hield:reall' a death t! the ultiate cinder2 but #!r us, )h', )e are %i%idl' ali%e
as 'et( That is )h' this cathedral abs!lute appals us( A!ur hands as the' turn !ut)ard t! ta&e #li"ht,
#!r e6aple2 the acti!n !# the bee, the tree, the #ist#ul !# #eathers ' br!ther urdered last )inter
)ith his "un( 4ll li%in" in an e69uisite tactualit' b' their acti!n, ultiatel' li%in"( Dnder the b!ne
the li%in" t)i"s !# the c'press, the bea& !# the snipe, the #!""' &la6!ns !# the allard c!in" up
acr!ss the "uns( Or asleep, and the #in"ers laid ab!ut '!ur #ace, and hair )ashin" up under the
h!use in a l!n" s)ish, a sea !# hair breathin" under the )ind!)s, !%er !ur dreas, int! the ni"ht( .#
there is an' passi!n in this )ritin", an')here, it is because . a creatin" a death . al!st shared( .
ist!!& it #!r ' !)n pr!pert'( . &n!) n!), #!r the #irst tie, )here . stand( We are n!thin" i# )e
cann!t c!n%ert the dr!ss !# tep!ral death2 i# )e cann!t present !ur chec& at the ban&, and recei%e
!ur dail' death, a #ee in "!!d clean s!%erei"ns:ia"es, heat, )ater, the statues in the par&, sn!)
!n the hills( The terri#ic acti!n !# the senses( The dead bulli!n !# d'in" cashed in clean c!in da' b'
da', e%er' !rsel !# br!&en tissue redeeed #!r us2 b' this l!%e, perhaps, this )inter c!et, a
p!e, the landlad', sch!larship, Marian !r the shape !# 1e6ic!( 1' battle )ith the dra"!n has
int!6icated e( 3a' b' da' n!), increasin"l' da' b' da', . #eel the c!ntinents runnin" in ' %eins,
the ri%ers, the !ceans balanced in a c!ne !n ' na%el( . a n! l!n"er a#raid !# this heraldr'( . ha%e
"i%en 'sel# t! it utterl'(
+=!e,+ sa's !ld Tar9uin, a#raid t! be le#t al!ne in the diensi!n he has be"un t! inhabit(
+=!e, share )ith e( We shall c!ntr!l the tep!ral )!rld( We shall be !narchs !# all )e
sur%e'( ,!!&( in this r!! . ha%e the su t!tal !# all huan and es!teric &n!)led"e, printed !n
paper( Need )e e%er stir !utside t! e6aine the apparent realit'* The essential truth lies )ithin us(
=!e(+
But alread' . a t!! c!ncerned )ith the details !# the -!urne' e%en t! ans)er hi( . tr'
s!eties t! e6plain t! hi )hat . a #eelin", but it is n! "!!d( +Wh' !%e*+ he deands
indi"nantl'( +What is )r!n" )ith ' intellectual attitude, sittin" still in the ,!tus p!se* .t is
airti"ht, ' dear(+
Well, inc!prehensibl' en!u"h, . decide t! "! ' !)n bl!!d' )a', )hether he
understands it !r n!t( . ha%e entered int! the pers!nalit' !# the e6ternal thin"s, and a sharin" their
in#luences( . s&ate al!n" the b!rders !# the dail' tri%ialities li&e a "h!st, !bser%in" but )ithh!ldin"
'sel# #r! the( There are such thin"s as the Ban9uet !# the $'denha ='clin" =lub, #!r
e6aple, )hich . )!uld )rite ab!ut i# . )ere less tired( There is H!ne')!!ds and the %e6ed
pr!ble !# the draina"e( There is 1arne' tal&in" ab!ut "ettin" arried2 and a h!st !# !ther data #!r
)hich there is n! r!!( There is Eustace, "!in" d!)n, as he sa's, +int! the %alle' !# shad!)+ as his
)i#e has her #!urth( There are als! the incest cere!nies in the $pice .slands, the #i%e8#!!t ne"rit!
)ith the e%erted lips, and races d'in" !ut in .celand because !# pel%ic ric&ets( ( ( ( 4b!%e all there is
the -!urne'(8.t has bec!e s! real t! e that . ha%e de%el!ped a s!rt !# e%asi%eness )hen re#usin"
in%itati!ns( +.# . ahere,+ . sa', +!n Tuesda' ./d l!%e t! c!e(+ Or, +Tuesda'* Well . a' n!t ( ( (+
Etc(, etc( Ver' s!!n . shall ha%e t! ta&e at least a )ee&end return t! =herb!ur" in !rder t! satis#'
' #riends( E%er'!ne in9uires s!licit!usl'> +,et e see, '!u/re "!in" a)a', aren/t '!u*+ Or, +B',
the )a', )hen did '!u sa' '!u )ere lea%in"*+ . shall be"in !n the #irst #ine da' in sprin"( 1a' )ill
#ind e scuddin" s!uth)ard under the trades, in the directi!n !# the 9uest8perhaps in the )r!n"
directi!n( There is !nl' trial and err!r !n a -!urne' li&e this, and n! si"np!sts( The end is
s!e)here be'!nd e%en Ethi!pia !r Tibet> the land )here B!d is a 'ell!) an, an !ld phil!s!pher
br!!din" !%er his s)anpan( in the li"ht !# $unda' a#tern!!n this ust be read 9uaintl'( On $unda's
)e ha%e a nice ate' card part' in Hilda/s r!!, at the bab!! table )ith three le"s( The )ireless
is turned !n #ull, and !ccasi!nall' )e "et the !st beauti#ull' inc!n"ru!us thin"s thr!u"h it( The
Ninth $'ph!n', #!r e6aple, !r an aria #!r the t!!thbrush( N! !ne is )!rried, n!t e%en <eters,
)h! #eels c!pelled t! ac&n!)led"e art e%en i# he has n! taste #!r it( +4h7+ he )ill sa' cle%erl',
+Bach(+ He is pu;;led )hen )e lau"h at hi( .a"ine it( That stale r!! )ith the Ninth $'ph!n'
scratchin" a)a' and =lare s!&in" his scented #a"s and p!lishin" his #in"ernails2 and the stu##ed
!)ls !n the antelpiece l!!&in" s! daned critical and deprecatin" that !ne c!uld )eep )ith
h'steria( Hilda in her scarlet #lannel ni"ht"!)n p!urin" )ea& tea #!r us and l!sin" #arthin"s at
%in"t et un( Or ,!b! cr!ssin" hisel# !%er e%er' natural he "ets( . tell '!u it is a s!rt !# picture #!r
a $panish alanac(
Dpstairs, in the l!n" r!! !%erl!!&in" the 4driatic, )here the tide bl!)s up clean #r!
4#rica, '!u are l'in"( A!ur #ace is as clear as )ater( $!#tl' p!sed in the !!nli"ht li&e a #!r"!tten
desert '!u are l'in", li%in" and d'in", lulled, s'st!lic, diast!lic !ti!n, as the )a%es shi%er their
en!r!us spass !n the beach( What is p!i"nant is this h!ur, this late )anin" !!nli"ht, the
<leiades )heelin" !%er '!ur draatic $apphic, the en!r!us cl!uds, the sur#, the !n& shi%erin"
in his cell a!n" the candles, the d!lphins turnin", and the #ace, the )hite #ace turned up blind t!
4#rica li&e a pil"ri blind )ith drea( N!thin" else( in this dead ni"ht under a dead Bree& 'th .
tell '!u #inall' that it is n!t death( .t is li#e in her )h!leness #r! )hich !ne dra)s this terrible
s'ste !# l!%e !# creati!n, !# l!ss( in ='prus under the trees, 4thens, $icil', the sae l!n"
puri#'in" tides thr!) up their pure l!ti!n acr!ss the statues, the r!bes, the e'es !# the huddled
phil!s!phers )h! !ut#aced the truth( The churches are sti## )ith beards and candles, celebratin" the
dar& ass !# the spirit as it enters its abs!lute al!neness( in the cathedrals under the sea )e tread
the aisles !# )eeds, and listen #!r the l!n" chie !# bells, bubbled under )ater #!r centuries, a!n"
the car"!es !# "rain and illet, raisins and #ruit> ar"!sies )hich are rec&!ned !n n! erchant/s
sheets( =r!ss !%er t! Bethlehe( The' )ill be able t! tell '!u #!r certain )hether s!ethin" has
been b!rn #r! this disc!rd !# the eleents, !r )hether the #iat has "!ne #!rth2 )hether this is a
pre8nati%it' !r a p!st8!rte7
Out !# that %!id in )hich the drea lies, c!iled and #atal as the dra"!n, . c!n-ure these #e)
pieces !# reli"i!n ab!%e a b!d' l'in" silent as death, and as spaci!us( Hushed, in a ne)
teperature, as i# under "lass the sin"le dar& candle !# the t!rs! ended in little blunt pebbles, t!es(
Or hair li&e a s!#t bed !# breathin" charc!al laid ab!ut the islands, t)istin" up its c!ils in s!#t
e6pl!si!ns !n the beaches( Outside !n the beach the !ld )!en are s)eepin" up the sea)eed in a
hea%' )ind( =an '!u hear )hat is said in the screain" !# the !li%es, in the draatic archer' !# the
c'presses* Verin!us, the t!p8hatted !n&s huddle t! ass in 4th!s, "!in" thr!u"h the #ailiar
litanies, )ith!ut c!#!rt( What d!es it ean, this lan"ua"e, this %!ice raised t! the r!!# li&e a thic&
stup !# s!und, these %ul"ar ared candles* in En"land there is an !ld an )h! #eeds the s)ans,
sl!)l' burnin" d!)n, dap, rheu', s!ur, int! the h!ll!) s!c&et !# his breast( The p!ets h'n his
siplicit'( What d!es this ean* .# he )ere an !ld bun8n!sed Tibetan #eedin" the )ild s)ans
under the Bree& .slands, the' )!uld depl!re the inc!n"ruit' !# the )!rld(
Then there is that !ther !ent )hen . c!e int! the r!! -ust as the da)n is brea&in"(
A!u are ali%e( There is a l!t t! sa', but the !rnin" is s! re%erent, the s!&e !n the b!n#ire lies
ab!ut in parcels, the ice !n the p!nd li&e an altar cl!th, !rnin"( ( ( ( The #irst l!n" hush, li&e a
breath dra)n taut be#!re the s)ier di%es int! the ic' ri%er( There are hu"e )ar places in the
#ield"rass )here the cattle la'( 3e) hea%'( The blac& -erse' still l'in" !ut !%er '!ur le#t sh!ulder
li&e a s!#a !n a "reen #ield( 3e) hea%'( The deep scent !# the castle standin" charred !n the hill(
There is uch t! be said, but n! p!ssible )a' !# sa'in" it( . can hear the i%' cra)lin" !n the )alls(
The sun is shinin" !n the sp!!n, the t!ast, !n '!ur t!n"ue( The chic&ens are "!in" t! ar&et, %er'
chill' and dis"runtled( $!e!ne is cuttin" )!!d #!r the #ires( . a as the !rnin" sausa"es !n the
b!ard( The &ni#e slits the sun strides up !%er the hill and )e are able t! tal& a"ain, sl!)l' and
)ith!ut ephasis( .tal' is enti!ned( There are #!ur "utted candles in the r!!( Aes, and the #irst
editi!n !# Baudelaire( A!ur %!ice starts 9ueer resp!nses in !ne> a b!ne in the "r!in, ast!id, the
ner%es !# the thr!at, the #ibers !# the tibia( . cann!t tell #!r certain, but . a b!und t! "et a letter
)ithin a da' !r t)!( ,et us )al& 9uietl' in the declensi!n !# the seas!n, s!&e a pipe !%er the "ate,
ta&e n!te !# h!) the asph!dels are d!in"( in the little h!use run !%er the acc!unts, select a b!!&,
d!;e !%er the #ire, !r at bedtie li"ht the candles and start the pian! h'nin"( .t is all the sae, #!r
this is a piece !ut !# an!ther b!!&( .t is si"ni#icant erel' because Tar9uin is enti!ned( O%er the
#ire and the crusader/s hearth, in the s!&e !# pipes, Tar9uin is enti!ned( .t is a stran"e
i!rtalit' t! be c!nsuated here, in this c!tta"e, dr!)ned in #l!)ers, under the "lierin"
b!tt!s !# the b!!&s( . rec!rd it n!) erel' t! reassure 'sel# that )e are ne%er #!r"!tten( There
is al)a's the stran"e c!nsuati!n !# e!r' ta&in" place, !%er the )h!le )!rld, the )h!le !#
tie e%en, until the %!cabularies in )hich '!u are created #all a)a' and are rene)ed(
Bet)een that subarine c!tta"e and this #anatic 4driatic landscape, )here the tides beat up
carr'in" us a)a' in the ipetus !# their stru""le t!)ard hist!r', there is a "ul# #i6ed( 1!re %ast,
!re une6pl!red than the =hallen"er 3eep( in that "ul#, dancin", as in a c!l!red shad!) sh!), are
the #i"ures . &eep tal&in" ab!ut( Their shad!)s lie acr!ss the paper( Aachts cr!ss, and r!llin"
cai9ues> !ccasi!nall' a "ra' )arship slides acr!ss the )ind!)s, but the shad!)s are c!nstant( The
d!lphins idle all da' in clus' re"ients, i6in" int! the picture, cr!)din" it( Ebassies #r!
1in!s and the litus =retan )!en, but )e d! n!t #!r"et, )e d! n!t #!r"et, )e d! n!t #!r"et( in
spite !# the iense sea, steerin" up and d!)n, attac&in", #eintin", )heelin" its ran"e !# c!l!rs
under the h!use )hich stands li&e a )hite ar& !n the blac& r!c&( Within the thirtieth parallels N!rth
and $!uth !# the E9uat!r li&e a hu"e huin"bird ultraarine t! the $!uth !# lat( 3P( $( a deep
s)!llen indi"!( Dnder the terrible #ires !# the 4ntarctic =ircle, a "lib and #ear#ul !li%e8"reen2
al)a's the !ld nurse, the <!seid!n, cherishin" her dead li&e a bear, )ashin" thr!u"h the ipl!ded
str!n"r!!s !# liners, brea&in" !pen the trun&s !# sail!rs, )ith a aniac l!%e, cherishin"( This is
the eleent t! )hich )e shall be deli%ered up at the #inal !ent, lulled, &neaded, s!#tened and
"ushed( $!!th r!und sh!t, #!!t#irst, parceled in linen, shri%ed( Then )ith a l!n" c!!l dr!p t! dri#t
d!)n, adaant, t! the dr!)s' le%els )here the ead!)s "r!) in%isible #ish, and the plan&t!nic
!r"aniss dither and s&ate, spr!utin" e6!tic e'es !n #l!atin" stal&s2 )here the sper )hales unch
dred"e#uls !# cuttle #ish and pr!)l li&e bardic Tenn's!ns, utterin" in their beards(
=!e, . a al)a's sa'in" t! Tar9uin( There are still ne) uni%erses t! be inhabited, i# '!u
ha%e the authentic disease and the c!ura"e( =!e, dr!p d!)n )ith e t! the liits !# the ph!tic
;!ne( ,et us c!nstruct !ut !# the sensiti%e b!dies !# this t)ili"ht race !ur ne) s'stes that )e tal&
ab!ut all da' l!n"( Bath'pela"ic, '!pic, !ptical, shall )e da)dle a)a' the ae!ns !%er this!ne
pr!ble, a&in" a little pers!nal pr!pa"anda as )e "!* 4t a hundred #ath!s #ish li&e sil%er
bullets( Dnder the %isc!us scalp itsel# phen!ena li&e <!rita and lanthina, blue s!&e in )ater( 4t
three hundred ru#us, bric&, claret( The %i!let #lesh !# pter!p!ds, )ic&ed, )ic&ed, )ic&ed( Here is a
phil!s!phic realit' )h!se terin!l!"' is l'in" there, c!plete but unused( =!e, '!u )hite8
li%ered tape)!r, let us "et bus'( The pr!ble is h!) t! destr!' the #atal passi%it' !# the plan&t!n,
and "i%e it the ne&t!nic %irtues2 the abilit' t! !%e )ith the tie, and a"ainst tide( . a n!t
c!ncerned )ith the Benth!s, the ud eaters, shit "!bblers, and their br!!d( We ust c!ncentrate
!nl' !n th!se )h! ha%e a chance !# bein" sa%ed( ?Hilda, the "reat s!ns' )hale, #!r instance( . ha%e
seen her dra""ed !ut !n the beach and hac&ed !pen #r! chin t! na%el( Her bell' s! craed )ith
crustaceans that the' put spades t! )!r& !n her(@ Hilda, !ne reali;es, has #ul#illed the priar' la)
in her )a'( $he has a bar!9ue n!bilit' because her "i#t is t!tal( $he li%es )ith her "reat s)!llen
du"s pressed !ut a"ainst tie, in a perpetual deliriu !# ser%ice( 4nd n!), in the )inter !# !ur
disc!ntent, she has "i%en up all she had t! the p!!r( Watch her( $he is sittin" there call' drin&in"
tea, )ith !ne sh!e !##( Her n!strils are cut li&e ancient anch!r p!rts !# a ship( One e6pects at an'
!ent that a len"th !# ha)ser )ill clatter !ut !# the and: splash7:anch!r her in her !)n
teacup( .ndi##erentl' =lare clips his #ra'ed cu##s )ith her sciss!rs( 4nd <eters sits lu"ubri!usl' !n
the bed and )ishes he )ere dead( <eters* 4 nicel' cl!thed du' #resh #r! sch!!l( The &ind !#
)a6)!r& that has "i%en the En"lish their reputati!n abr!ad( He has read all that the )ell8dressed
an sh!uld read( His p!ise is superb )ith ebers !# his !)n class( One has the idea that he c!uld
pic& his n!se )ith a ci"ar in his !uth and still l!!& "enteel, !ld c!tta"e En"lish, pure, bred !n the
b!ttle, etc( in the drab %erti"! !# $unda' a#tern!!n )e per#!r !ur !ti!nless alanac t!"ether(
We share )ith painted thin"s the l!ss !# pers!nalit', sittin" in this e6!tic "aslit h!th!use, a!n"
the !)ls and c!setics( Hilda . &n!) is n!t )ith us, but alread' enterin" that third !cean )hich has
been prepared #!r her( =r!ssin" the ;!diac !# the ne) uni%erse al!ne, pi!neer, ad%enturer,
#!rerunner> #r! h!use t! h!use, her "reat turbines sha&in" her #ree !# the udd' litt!rals( N!sin"
d!)n )ith that predat!r' bea& !# hers deeper and deeper, acr!ss the #uc!id belt, the lainarian, the
;!steran belt t!)ard the abs'ssal deep )hich is ar&ed !n n! card( Aes, be'!nd the territ!r' !#
th!se re!te tribes )e !nl' li%e in illuinated naes> the p'cn!"!nids, the nudibranchs, the
brittlestars, the chit!ns, the crin!ids, and the penatulids: a)a' be'!nd these int! that re"i!n #r!
)hich )e are "!in" t! recei%e the ne) 'th(
4ttept it, . a sa'in" t! that sall!) bastard,attept it( There is n!thin" t! l!se( 4ll the
h!pe in the )!rld is here, bet)een ' le"s, bet)een the -!ints !# ' #in"ers, in the e'e, the li%er,
the %eins( 4ttept it and bec!e the s'b!l !# #ailure, but !nl' a&e the attept( .t is useless( He
has n!t e%en the c!ura"e !# Bre"!r'/s death> that 9uaint suicide( Bre"!r' )h! sh!t hisel# dead
)ith the "reen pen( in this 'th!l!"', s! #ra"entar', )ith s! an' dr!ps !# #eelin" and
e6pressi!n, Bre"!r' is al!st a c!plete s'b!l( .t )as a "allant suicide( But Tar9uin* He
!lders a)a' %isibl', ner%eless, blanched, )a6en, int! a &ind !# pus8drun& senilit' !# his !)n( The
stench that "!es up #r! that dec!p!sin" craniu these da's7 . a #!rced t! stand near an !pen
)ind!) t! spea& t! hi( He is the li%in" s'b!l !# 1r( Valdear, "al%anicall' t)itchin" in a s!rt
!# crea&' li#e !# his !)n( What is he, )hat are )e all* . cann!t tell )ith an' clarit'( $!eties .
pu;;le !%er these pa"es, tr'in" t! )!r& !ut #!r the this riddle !# pers!nalit', but . a al)a's t!!
uch inside the t! see clearl'( . a a#raid, als!, t! in9uire t!! cl!sel' int! ' !)n s'b!l here,
al!n"side all these, because it sees #!rei"n t! e( 4 little #ri"htenin"( What a . d!in" )ith this
n!is' achine and these sheets !# linen paper* .t is a &ind !# trap #r! )hich . cann!t escape, n!t
e%en b' sh!!tin" 'sel# dead )ith )!rds as Bre"!r' did, !r said he did( When . thin& this . a t!!
a#raid t! c!ntinue )ritin"( There is an ir!n bar pressin" d!)n behind ' e'es( 4 sensati!n !# s!e
#ilaent in the brain, s!e #iber, s!e internal #use )ire, strained t! brea&in" p!int( . a a#raid it
)ill snap and blind e( .t is then that . "et up in a panic and "! t! )here '!u are sittin", )!r&in",
and &nittin", and put ' hands !n '!ur hands( Then in a !ent !r t)! ' c!ura"e is rest!red and
. return t! the pa"es, turnin" the !%er, readin" the sl!)l', )!nderin"> . a bac& in that
ena"erie a"ain, sh!utin" at Tar9uin !r #!ll!)in" Hilda in her iense %!'a"es #r! crater t!
crater !# the 4tlantic, "!r"in" crustaceans( With ,!b! r!llin" in the ditch !n t!p !# the bl!nd
sh!p"irl, he s9uea&in" in c!pulati!n li&e a #r!"( Or listenin" t! =haberlain readin" e the
s!nnets, and sni##in" li&e a sch!!l"irl( Or <ere; cherishin" his clubbed penis, and handin" it
casuall' t! Hilda, as !ne i"ht "i%e up !ne/s tic&et at the terinus( With!ut a si"h !r a )!rd
handin" up his tic&et and enterin" the cathedral !n his &nees( Or =!nnie ipaled in her !)n dirt'
sheets, )ri""lin" and pissin" until the bl!!d runs int! her b!!ts, and her e'es are as e6pressi!nless
as handba"s( .t is all there, "!in" r!und and r!und #!re%er li&e a "reat Rabelaisian err'8"!8r!und,
#aces #larin" !ut at e(
4nd then there is '!u( A!u )ait behind the #aces and the si"ns )hich pu;;le( 4 pale
hier!"l'ph scribbled acr!ss these pa"es, acr!ss these #aces, these )hales, s'b!ls, ide!"raphs( A!u
spea& t! e #r! the trees )ith the spirit !# trees> the delicate huan bar& !# the Eucal'ptus, '!u
are li%in" a!n" '!ur "reen sic&les( in bed it is a tree that "r!)s up)ard #r! the scr!tu, ch!&in"
e, stu##in" s!#t tentacles and #l!)ers int! ' ars, int! ' thr!at, int! ' &nees( . a a
scarecr!) #illed b' the trees )hich "r!) up)ard thr!u"h e( When . spea& !# '!u ' thr!at is
lined li&e bar&, and ' t!n"ue is s!#t r!tten -uniper8l!a, cl!'in"(
. c!%er '!u )ith ' b!d' and )h!le uni%erses !pen silentl' #!r e, li&e a d!!r int! a
sudden "arden( $uddenl' . a a)a&e and standin" in '!u li&e a turret, spea&in" t! the eleents, the
d)ar#s, the delicate nebulae, the circus )hich "r!)s !n '!u and sti#les e in #leece( . a carried
!n)ard thr!u"h '!u li&e an"r' )ater, ,i&e a pla"ue, a #erent !# a"!n' #!r )hich there is n! cr!ss,
n! nail h!les, n! last act, n! br!&en %eil !# the teple, n! a"!n' in the "arden(
.n the bell', the hips, the hu"e cathedral !# the %a"ina, '!u shad!) e, !%in" #r! statue
t! statue, see&in" '!ur death as&( in the ani!tic #luid, the arr!), in the dar& cunt '!u li%e, in
the #etus -aed at the nec& !# the )!b( in the cla%icles, the tarsus, the s!ur anus( .t is n!t )!rds
)hich "r!) in e )hen . see the tendrils !# uscle clibin" '!ur trun&2 it is n!t )!rds at the
#in"ers laid ab!ut '!ur #ace and still> these delicate cartrid"es !# #lesh and b!ne( N!t )!rds but a
%!cabular' )hich "!es thr!u"h us b!th li&e the sea, de%!urin"( 4 naeless, paral';ed sin"in" in
the bac&b!ne( 4n interi!r ass, blac&er than sacrile"e( 4 dancin" !# #ibers al!n" the s&in, a ne)
acti!n, a thee as #resh as seed, an a"!n', a re%en"e,a uni%erse( B!d sa%e the ar&, it is . )h! a
ch!sen t! interpret these #rantic s'llables )hich rise up bet)een us, ap!cal'ptic, da;;lin", clari!n(
Here are the pearls that )ere his e'es( . reach thr!u"h '!u li&e a drun&en an t!)ard the illi!n
#ath! uni%erse, but it is di##icult( . a entan"led in '!ur #lesh( 1' #!!tsteps are hapered b' the
rich u' )rappin" !# #lesh, b' the delicate rupture !# ebranes, the 9ui%erin" s!c&ets #r!
)hich the e'es ha%e been t!rn( .t is di##icult t! &n!) ' directi!n( . ha%e n! needle( Onl' this
parcel !# a"!nies )hich !%e in terri#ied rec!il as the "uts slide a)a' #r! the sur"e!n/s intrudin"
#in"ers( <it' e, . )as b!rn !ld( N!t dead, but !ld( N!t dead, but !ld( .ncredibl' ancient and a
art'r t! the hereditar' taint(
4ll that c!es !ut !# e is a landscape in )hich '!u are e%er'thin", tree, bee, #l!)er, t!ast,
salt2 '!u are the hard bri"ht staen !# the &in"cup, the Bree& asph!del, the ner%!us spea&in" cal'6(
This !ld Venetian #!rt d'in" the #la"s, the s!ldiers li&e bluebells are '!ur landscape, the h!t "leet
!# suer, the #ine ucus, !r the brual bear lic&in" her culprits the bab' d!"#ish( $)eet, it is n!t
'!ur dec!rati!ns . a puttin" d!)n here, '!ur s!#t )a""in" c'presses, st!les, cathedrals,
c!%enants, b!nes !# dead saints( .t is this ne) bar!n' )h!se lan"ua"e . a ta&in" at dictati!n,
)ith!ut e%en )aitin" t! &n!) )hether )e can decipher it )ith the help !# a &n!)n hier!"l'ph7
.n that last )inter ban9uet, a!n" the candles in the silences, the tal& !# R!e, !# p!etr',
p!!r 0!hnn' Keats spittin" ni"htin"ales:that ni"ht )ith the )h!le sa#e aura !# the En"lish death
ar!und us, the abiance !# candles, as9ues, c!tta"es, pe)ter, . sa) that '!ur #ace )as utterl'
0udas( The pian! )as &ic&in" in the Beeth!%en, and all !# a sudden it )as as i# the ten ridicul!us
#in"ers )ere !penin" li&e ubrellas, pre"nant )ith s'ph!n'( The r!! )as a cathedral, assi%e,
ch!&ed( 4nd the re%ie) !# #aces )as as e6pressi%e as the line !# shad!)s !n the r!!#( =!nnie s!
bra;en, returnin" the stares !# the ne)c!ers li&e a irr!r( ,!b!, <ere;, 4nsel, Bracie:a
c!pan' as %ari!us as a pac&et !# staps( Tar9uin )ith the &iss !# 0udas branded !n his sa""in"
chee&b!nes, silin" )ith the E"'ptian sile( Tar9uin sittin" there li&e an ept' t!b, h!ll!),
e%en the icr!bes dead in hi( .t )as then that . &ne) the c'cle )as c!plete #!r hi( The )heel
had spun #ull circle( Fr! n!) he/s -ust p!)derin" d!)n li&e a thrashed #l!)er( He sits all da'
al!ne, )rapped in ru"s, a#raid t! )al&, his b!nes are s! brittle2 a#raid t! tal&, his t!n"ue is s! dr'2
a#raid t! piss, he is s! scalded b' the stale urine( The "ra!ph!ne pla's #r! !rnin" t! ni"ht, but
he d!es n!t hear it( .# . "! t! see h!) he is . #ind hi there, abstractedl' sittin" in ru"s )ith a s)eet
sile !n his #ace( +<ut !n the lau"hin" rec!rd,+ he sa's2 +it/s in the albu )ith the third pian!(+
This is terri#'in"( This insane disc is !ne that e%er'!ne ust &n!)( The cra;' attepts t! pla' a
sa6!ph!ne punctuated b' a #!rest !# terrible #!rced lau"hter( Feale s9ueals, en!r!us tic&lin" !#
the !%aries( 4nd the terri#'in" ale bell!)s( Onl' a )!rld "!ne ad c!uld issue a d!cuent li&e
this( He pla's it !%er perhaps #!rt' ties a da', sittin" there in ru"s, his %acant e'es !n the blac&
#ent !# the instruent, his s&in held !ut !n sparr!) b!nes> a 9ueer taut sile, ans)erin" the terrible
s9uealin" and r!arin"( This is his%ale in ' e!r', be#!re the' ta&e hi a)a'( in the iense
stale c!rrid!rs !# the h!tel, a!n" the br!&en statuar' and the %ie)s !# the <arthen!n, Tar9uin( .t is
s! elab!rate this s'b!l, the Tar9uin !# the ne) %!cabular', that . a al!st tepted t! tr' and
a&e a sh!rt precis !# hi> a la n!%el( T! a&e hi c!prehensible en!u"h #!r the re%ie)ers( But
. can/t( . -ust d!n/t &n!) )hat the hell he is all ab!ut( 4n' !re than . can +e6plain+ the ne) 'th
)hich . a und!ubtedl' !n the p!int !# creatin", !r the d!uble ea"le, !r the s'b!l !# the #ish( .
ha%e sipl' "athered up the little pieces and !##ered the t! '!u !n a plate> it is #!r !thers t!
decide at )hat date the e6pl!si!n t!!& place( 4t that last insane ban9uet . )as !n the p!int !#
disc!%erin", . thin&, but a n!t sure( A!u )ere in the )a' )ith the l!tus as& and the ban"les
"nashin" !n '!ur ars( . had !nl' hal# an e'e #!r the pian! sierin"2 #!r =!nnie s)all!)in" the
penis in a series !# thirst' "ulps( There )as precisel' '!u and this #ertile %!cabular' runnin" !ut !#
'!u, rich, sapp', e%!cati%e as us&(
,ittle pieces !# the draa ha%e c!e t! e in di##erent places, !n the "reat liners n!sin"
s!uth)ard, in the trains, bet)een the tri spars !# the sailin" b!at> all er"in" and #l!)in" up)ard
in e thr!u"h the bu"les and sheep and dancin"( . th!u"ht . underst!!d( But be"innin" this act
)ith paper . can !nl' sa' #!r certain that . a n!t resp!nsible( .t is transcripti!n purel'(
Here, it is real en!u"h the sta"e !n )hich . re8create this chr!nicle !# the En"lish death(
There is Bach pla'in" in the r!ars !# the )ind, the piercin" slatterns !# the rain( There is '!u
dancin", and the illi!n '!us )h! persist in atter, ech!, )eep, cr', e6ult in #l!)er p!)der,
sara"d, .tal', !!n, %eins !# r!c&( There is the caden;a !# #lesh here na&ed, and the '!u )h! run
t! the c!nclusi!n !# autun, sel#less and elanch!l', !r s!lder !n the beach sa%a"el'( in all
particulars !# the b!d' '!u are )!r&in", in the dar& sup !# the %a"ina, bre)in" %e"etable hist!r',
s!)in" c!ntinents in )h! . a the reaper2 in the dust' sandals !r the na&ed t!es( .t is #!rced up!n
e t! )rite !# '!u al)a's in the "n!ic a!rist( F!r this is the ne) %!cabular' )hich . a learnin"
)ith ease( . a be"innin" ' a"!n' in the "arden and there are t!! an' )!rds, and t!! an'
thin"s t! put int! )!rds( in the #antastic pr!sceniu !# the e"!, )hen . be"in ' s!lil!9u', . shall
n!t ch!!se as Bre"!r' ch!se( T! be !r n!t t! be( .t is in '!ur capacit' as 0udas that '!u ha%e
ch!sen #!r e( The 9uesti!n has been decided( 4rt ust n! l!n"er e6ist t! depict an, but t!
in%!&e B!d( .t is !n the #ace !# this cha!s that . br!!d( 4nd !n the sae cha!s printed, acr!ss the
#aces !# these hide!us ies !# ine, '!ur pale "l'ph( The )hite illusi!n !# b!ne and tissue, the
#ir chee&b!nes set in s!#t plates !# #lesh, the p!utin" !uth, the s!#t -a)less head !# the sna&e,
the lips as delicate as the biscuit( ,ubra in the dar&, and )hen the s)!rds "r!) up #r!
=!nstantin!ple, ar!real, car'atid, pupa !# #lesh "r!)in" up)ard a!n" the b!nes, carr'in"
the up)ard #r! the hip, irresistible lea%en( The hills sn!!;e !n )ith the liths !# '!ur #in"ers laid
!%er the> the sensiti%e cal'6 !# the pel%is li&e the dish !# land )hich h!lds !ur sea, silent !utside
the h!use( 4ll that is d'in" in e in this #atal landscape, '!ur ine a!n" acti%e thin"s, st!ne,
shards, lan"ua"e, ete!rs, butter( N!thin" but the punic b!d', !ur essential trait!r, )hich sti#les e
)ith its p!llens( $n!re !n, '!u )inter sea, there is n! !re in here than the se%en hectic eleents
can !##er e> !re than the #antas' !# the third !cean, dippin" its brush a!n" the !lten c!l!rs,
lea&in" d!)n t! the h!t a"a !# thin"s( 1!re( 1!re(
.t is !rnin"( B!rn in an ept' h!use, n! ;!diac2 spa)ned b' the #ish, %!latile, cunnin",
durable in passi!n( B!' in an ar& !n a blac& r!c&( Breece lies dead a!n" the !a& lea%es, the bare
ulch, the erdes, !utside the )ind!), Dttered in sails( There is n!thin" in this en!r!us si68#!!t
bed but the e'elashes !# B!d !%in", delicate as talc2 !r the )ar stic&' "u, !!;in" #r! the lips
!# the trees( Fr! bet)een '!ur le"s lea&in", the breathin" '!l&, the durable, the #!re%er, the
en!r!us N!)(
This is h!) it ends(
The h!use !#
4nastasius 4thenaius K!t!ura
=!r#u, 193I