You are on page 1of 8

Behaviour/etiquette

1. You are invited to an evening meal at the home of your French employer/headteacher and partner. Should
you take along as a present ... ?

a) Nothing at all
b) Flowers for her
c) A bottle of wine
d) Some other small gift such as chocolates
Most appropriate response is b. Possible response is d. It is usual to take some present for your hosts. If you
take nothing at all you may find yourself embarrassed when other guests arriving - at the same time as you? -
offer a gift. If you take a gift and they dont, youre still on the safe side. We tread on sexist territory here, but
generally the meal will be prepared by a woman and traditionally the gift goes to her. Dont overdo it and go for
a sumptuous bouquet or for red roses, flowers can be expensive in France, especially from a fleuriste as
opposed to asupermarch. Better not to take wine; the host is likely to have organised the right wine(s) to go
with the meal, probably knows a deal more about wine than you and if they feel they have to open your wine
and its not very good the occasion is spoilt by you. Chocs are a possibility, but again beware, if you buy them
from a confiserie or chocolatier they can be pricey. If you can take some with you from the UK, some small
packets of nicely wrapped loose English tea - Darjeeling, Assam, Orange Pekoe, Earl Grey make
appreciated presents. Make the gift modest; your hosts will know youre not earning huge amounts. Cest le
geste qui compte.Obviously if you are invited by friends of your own age you can pre-arrange to take a bottle,
but choose with care - plonk is not a French concept. Nicolas wine shops are reliable.

2. Which flowers would it be untactful to offer someone in France ... ?

a) Roses
b) Chrysanthemums
c) Carnations
d) Lily of the valley
Most inappropriate, as a gift, would be chrysanthemums. Custom is evolving somewhat but many French
people still associate chrysanthemums with death and cemeteries. Autumn flowering, chrysanthmes are the
flowers traditionally put on family graves in cimetires on le 1er novembre, la Toussaint - All Saints Day. A
few roses would be fine, avoid red (symbol of passion?) in some circumstances. Carnations - oeillets - fine
too. Lily of the valley - le muguet- is associated with 1st May, by when the French hope it will flower and like to
have a spray in the house. A bunch of anemones or iris is a good simple flower offering.

3. Using 1, 2, 3, 4 etc. place in order of sequence in a French set meal ... -

a) Fromage
b) Entre
c) Amuse-gueule
d) Dessert
e) Plat principal
f) Lgume
g) Salade
The normal order will be c, b, e, f, g, a, d, that is amuse-gueule = nibbles served with anapritif (literally
entertain-gob), entre, plat principal, lgume, salade, fromage, dessert (with 2 ss) - followed by coffee at
lunch. But not many French people drink coffee after dinner, unless its a dca. After an evening meal you
may be offered a tisane - herbal tea, several of which are mild and pleasant: menthe, tilleul, tilleul-menthe.
Beware if youre invited to a real weekend lunch, especially if its a celebration one and in the country, it can
last from 12.30 to 4.00 p.m., so dont eat too much of it too early on or drink too much too early in the meal -
what you think is the main course might just be to whet your appetite!

4. At dinner you are offered a piece of bread along with your meal, but have no side-plate. Do you ... ?

a) Ask for a side-plate
b) Break your bread over your main plate and place the left-over piece on the plate edge next to the rest of
your food
c) Break the bread over the cloth / bare table to the left of your plate and replace the bread there crumbs and
all
Most appropriate is c. To ask for a plate would be to criticize your host(ess). b would involve too complex a
balancing act. The French go uninhibitedly for crumbs on the table. French bread (delicious often) is crusty.
This is particularly true of baguettes (which go hard after a day, so buy fresh each morning - you can ask for
a demi-baguette, they will cut one in two) - of which there are different sizes with different names, ficelle,
btard etc. On the table dont push your crumbs into a neat pile. Simply leave them. French tables after a meal
can look like bread battle-grounds. This is particularly true of breakfast, at which, incidentally, many French
eaters will dunk bread or toast - pain grill - or even a croissant in their coffee.

5. You are invited to a meal at a French persons home. Snails, which revolt you, are served as the entre. Do
you ...? -

a) Force yourself to eat them, saying nothing
b) Refuse them point blank
c) Tactfully acknowledge your gastropodic virginity and say you will try to try one but ...
To chew or to eschew! If you can manage it c would be the most appropriate reaction. b might be
embarrassing to the host(ess). a would be brave, but might have unforeseen digestive consequences. In fact
you are unlikely to meet with snails or frogs legs at table, but you never know. On the other hand you are
likely to be served dishes that you might find a little strange. Experiment and try to extend your range. The
visual appearance sometimes belies the taste. Snails are quite good, if slightly chewy. Frogs legs taste like
chicken. Ecological reasons for avoiding them are sounder than gastronomic ones. If you dont know how to
eat something - with fingers, with fork, on bread or not, wait and watch what others do.

6. In the French countryside on a rainy day you pass a middle-aged person bent double in the grass verge
looking for something. Do you ... ? -

a) Ask what theyve lost and offer to help to look with them
b)Assume theyve escaped from a local institution
c) Presume its a tramp looking for fag-ends
d) Carry on regardless
Neither a, b nor c would be appropriate. It is most likely that he (or she) is out picking dandelions for their
rabbits (rabbits kept to eat) or out collecting snails.
Admire the hunter-gatherer in the year 2000 and travel on regardless.

7. When travelling by train in France you ...

a) will have your ticket checked by an inspector on the train
b) need to have your ticket checked by an inspector on entry to the platform
c) must machine-check your ticket yourself before entry to the platform
c is the appropriate response and probably also a. Unlike on the Paris mtro, where you cannot gain entry to
the system (as also on the London Tube) without inserting your ticket to open the barrier, on the railway
system you do in fact enter the platform and board the train without a physical check, but it is illegal to do so;
you must yourself put your ticket through the composteur (a sort of square red post) on the station concourse
before entering the platform. You are likely too to have your ticket checked on the train, but if it has not already
been compost by you (and this cannot be done on the train), you are in trouble. Il faut avoir compost son
billet. Fares are based on a price per kilometer. Ask about cheap deals prix rduit. Admire the S.N.C.F., their
T.G.V.s (for some you need to pre-book) and double-decker trains, all usually leaving and running dead on
time.

8. To travel on a bus in Paris you need to ...

a) Buy a ticket in town before getting on the bus
b) Buy a ticket from the conductor on the bus
c) Buy a ticket from the driver on the bus
d) Buy nothing as city centre bus travel is free
Most appropriate is a. Buy a carnet of 10 tickets from a mtro station - mtro and bus tickets are identical.
There are other cheap formulae if you are a tourist staying for a week or a regular user, the carte
orange etc. c is possible; you can buy a ticket from the driver, but it costs more and holds up the bus so the
driver may not be keen. b is not possible; conductors are an extinct species. d, alas, is wrong, unless Paris
elects Monsieur Ken Livingstone as mayor. You cancel your own ticket in the bus, in a little machine by the
door. Paris buses have two doors and, if they are articulated buses, three. Use the front door to board,
generally, but not to alight.

9. In France, crossing the road at a white-striped pedestrian-type crossing which has no traffic lights should you
...

a) Wait until traffic stops for you, then cross b) Step out regardless and expect traffic to stop
c) Wait until there is something of a gap and then watchfully make a start
c is most appropriate, b is downright dangerous, a is optimistic. Pedestrians have priority on uncontrolled
white-striped crossings and if you are injured on one by car the driver has committed a criminal act. However
French motorists often pay scant regard to them and to pedestrians (and other motorists) generally and you
should only cross with extreme care. France has an appalling road safety record - one of the very worst in
Europe. Do not walk or jog on roadsides by day or especially night.

10. Which of the following days are national holidays in France ... ? -

a) La Toussaint - 1 novembre
b) Le 14 juillet
c) La St Valentin
d) LAscension - 1 juin
e) La Fte des mres
All except c and e. And there are several more. If a jour fri falls on a Thursday or a Tuesday, the long
weekend is called a pont if your employer decides theres no point coming in to work on the Friday or the
Monday. Not a great deal is made of St. Valentines day in France as yet. Most French holidays are of
religious origin, but some are secular; 1st May commemorates la fte du travail and 14 July the fall of the
Bastille in 1789. French towns are good to be in on 14 July with dancing in the streets and fireworks.

11. In France going to the GP doctors surgery, do you ...? -

a) Pay nothing
b) Pay as you go in
c) Pay the doctor cash after the consultation
d) Pay when the doctor subsequently sends the bill
Most appropriate is c. a is wrong as also b. If planned repeated consultations were involved dis possible. If
you have been nurtured on the British National Health system it seems odd, almost embarrassing, to take out
your wallet and give a doctor money, but ... Combien je vous dois, docteur? is the formula at the end of the
consultation. A surgery (cabinet) visit might cost you about 17, a home call-out maybe 30. Consulting a
specialist would be at least twice as expensive, but it is relatively quick in France and you can by-pass the GP.
On the whole French medics are good diagnosticians and the health service world-class. The common non-
pejorative slang term for doctor is le toubib - from the Arabic.
12. In France, at the chemist's, medicines acquired with a doctor's prescription are ... ?

a) Sold to you at their normal cost
b) Sold to you at a uniform state-discounted price as in the UK
c) Obtainable free
d) Some other small gift such as chocolates
a is the correct answer. You retain your prescription form, after the chemist has stamped/signed it, take the
little detachable price-label - vignette - from each medicine pack, stick it on the form opposite its name, and
take/send it with a completed accompanyingScurit Sociale claim form - and any other document required -
to the local Scurit Sociale(la Scu) office. You are reimbursed approx. 75% of the cost, recouping the rest
(as a British visitor) via your E111 or private insurance. French doctors tend to overprescribe medicines in
type and quantity; your chemists bill might be hefty. And remember, la pilule (pill) is now only used for the
contraceptive pill; other pills are un cachet.
13. You can buy postage stamps at French post-offices and also at ... ?

a) Supermarkets
b) Newspaper kiosks
c) Cafs with a special red sign outside
d) All cafs
c is the correct answer, and only c, although caf-tabacs or tabacs for short do not carry the whole range of
stamps of which French post-offices carry a glorious philatelic variety. Caf-tabacs as they are called are also
licensed to sell cigarettes and tobacco as well as stamps. As well as a limited range of loose stamps they will
stock the carnets of the ordinary 2,80F stamp. The stamp tobacco counter is usually at the caf entrance end
of the bar.
14. In France police officers as opposed to gendarmes are distinguished by ... ?

a) The former being armed, the latter not
b) The former being in big towns/cities, the latter in country areas
c) The former wearing tricolor belts, the latter not
d) The former wearing blue uniform, the latter khaki
b is correct. All French police and gendarmes are armed with pistols. Gendarmes used to wear khaki
uniforms, but now wear blue, though it is different in detail from police uniform. The whole force comes under
the general title of police and vehicles are marked police, but outside largeish cities police are referred to as
gendarmes and are based in gendarmeries.French riot police are known as C.R.S. (Compagnie Rpublicaine
de Scurit) and are not to be tampered with, nor generally are the police - for whom the slang name is flics. It
is French mayors who wear a tricolor sash round their waist for special ceremonies.
15. In France, if stopped by a police officer and asked for your identity, do you ... ?

a) Have to give your name and address, but show no papers
b) Have to give your name and address, and take papers to the police within three days
c) Have to have identity papers on you and show them
d) Need to give no details and show nothing unless you are acting suspiciously
c is the case. d certainly does not apply, nor a. You might get away with b. It is wise to carry identification
papers with you at all times. French nationals carry their carte didentit nationale and need to produce it if
required by a police officer. As a foreigner, carrying a passport with you always is a nuisance and a security
risk, but wise, unless you have a carte de sjour with which to replace it. French nationals no longer need to
prove their identity when booking in at French hotels, but foreign nationals officially do, though sometimes,
especially in the provinces, they are not asked to.
16. In France meeting someone for the first time should you ...?-

a) Shake hands
b) Simply speak an appropriate greeting
c) Kiss them on the cheek
d) Kiss them on each cheek
Most appropriate are a and b together. Shake hands and say Bonjour or Bonsoir (time of day variation - after
mid-afternoonish its Bonsoir) or slightly more formally Enchant(e) or if you are in a formal relationship to an
older person or someone in authority (employer etc.) it is better to say Bonjour Monsieur/Madame or
even Bonjour Monsieur/Madame le Proviseur etc. Note that once youve said Bonjour you wouldnt say it
again on meeting the same person later in the day, though sometimes a humorous Re-bonjour is used. Smile
and say nothing. The French often shake hands each day the first time they meet and when saying goodbye
later. Once you know someone of your own age well(ish) (or even before) they may greet you with a kiss on
the cheek or on both cheeks or even on both cheeks twice (in the country), it varies on relationships, age,
region, gender, personal inclination (sexual attraction even) and all sorts of subtle variations. Be prepared
and suivez la mode but note that kissing on the lips is a sexual thing.
17. In France you are asked out for the evening by a group of French students. Are you likely to ... ?

a) Go on a crawl from bar to bar till you get pretty drunk
b) Go to a caf/bar, have one drink or two and talk a lot
c) Co to a caf/bar, have several drinks and talk a lot
Obviously it will depend, but b is probably the case. Many French students tend to have even less money than
British ones, fewer grants etc. Many will drink coffee or soft drinks only. Excess alcohol intake, or even any
alcohol intake is not seen as a prerequisite for having a good social time or loosening tongues. It is generally
not socially acceptable in France to get drunk, in private and especially in public, particularly for women. The
young peoples evening pub/disco-crawl alcohol culture that has come to prevail in many British towns is not
part of the scene in France ... yet, quite. French students like to talk ... often about serious things, politics,
current affairs, films, books etc.
18. In France a woman on her own in the mid-to-late evening, dying for a drink, should ... ?

a) Enter a caf and drink standing at the bar
b) Enter a caf, find a table and order a drink
c) Resist and go thirsty till getting home
It will depend on the place and the region and perhaps the class of caf, but generally speaking c is most
appropriate. a would be inappropriate and might lead to her being pestered. b is possible, but not
recommended. If a woman is by or in a major railway station, no problem perhaps (but beware), but if in a
small town and obviously not awaiting transport, her situation could be misunderstood and she might either be
thought to be solliciting or seen as easily approachable. Males in France can be unabashedly predatory.
19. It's summer and ht and a young Frenchwoman is invited out for a drink in the evening. As she sets out to
meet her friend/s will she ... ?

a) Set out in a skimpy frock/skirt and top
b) Put on a skimpy dress but wear something less revealing over it
c) Wear something attractive but not so revealing
d) Dress as she normally does for the office/school
This is difficult gender- and dress-code territory. Much will depend on where she lives, her mode of transport
to where shes going, who shes going to meet, and various social and personal parameters. However, young
female (and to some extent male) fashion that currently appertains in the UK for evening bars/discos in town
would be problematical often in France depending on the time and place. a would definitely be risky if she had
to walk some way or take public transport as the wrong signals would be given to passing predatory males
and the walk or bus-ride could be unpleasant, if not dangerous. c would actually often be the case for many
young Frenchwomen. d is a possibility depending on her personal strategies and much safer than a . d would
not be so usual, although for work (depending on the sort of work), in large towns especially, young
Frenchwomen tend to dress smartly, sometimes very smartly, despite the cost of clothes.
20. If, in a French town, you suddenly need to use a loo, should you ... ?

a) Look for the nearest public toilets
b) Go to a caf/bar and use the loo
c) Go to a caf/bar, order a drink and then ask for the loo
Depending on urgency c is the usual strategy. If you tried b you might be stopped by the waiter/barman.
Public toilets, especially for women, are often not easy to find - if they exist. In Paris the public toilet situation
is much better than it was. There are still semi-open metalurinoirs (pissotires) for men, la Clochemerle, but
there are also enclosed public loos on pavements, with automatic doors which open after youve paid; a little
frightening but reliable and no-one has been locked in for ever. In big stations there may be a loo attendant,
often fierceish - whom you have to tip. One still comes across the old wc la turque (the Turkish squat) - no
seat, just a big china floor slab with a hole. Good for thigh muscles and very hygienic, but get your feet well
out of the way before you flush! In towns, men urinating in public against a wall is a practice more and more
frowned upon ... but ...
21. After a drink/meal in a French caf/restaurant you should ... ?-

a) Leave a tip
b) Leave a tip only if the service has been very good
c) Leave no tip at all
In theory it is illegal now in France to include or require a tip or charge for service in cafs/restaurants. The bill
should be the bill, prix complet or tout compris. You are within your rights to leave nothing and there can be no
complaint. Often, generally even, you should do that. However some people still leave c. 10% of the bill as a
tip on the table, if, say, they are very pleased with the service for some reason, or they think, for instance, the
person serving is an impoverished student being hard-worked by some exploitative employer. On the other
hand tips sometimes dont go to the waiter in person, but are pooled, so ... In taxis you would tip, and at the
hairdressers, also if something biggish is delivered to your door by a delivery-person, - say 30F for the
deliverer, but as a student you could be excused. The practice of tipping usher(ette)s at the cinema has
largely disappeared as they are now waged. Porters are an extinct species. Always useful to have a few loose
francs on you, especially on the mtro, where buskers, gypsies, chmeurs and SDF (sans domicile fixe)
abound.

Linguistic conventions: greetings and other formulae
22. In France meeting a person for the first time do you ... ?

a) Call them vous
b) Call them tu
c) Wait and see what they call you
d) Assess their age/authority/gender relationship to you and then decide
This is an area fraught with problems. Most appropriate is d, but it demands quick judgement. However a is
safe, unless you are meeting a child under, say, 14, when tu is normal and calling them vous would sound
odd. Another strategy is c, but it may just be that they call youtu and you would call them vous, if, say, they
are a lot older than you or you feel they are impressive/demand your respect in some way, or if you think they
are trying to get intimate by calling you tu (man to woman, less usual the other way round) and you prefer to
fend them off by keeping on a vous footing.
Once you have gone for vouvoiement or tutoiement stick to it. The French are sensitive to it and it defines your
relationship to some degree. Chopping and changing will worry them. Less safe by far is b, - unless to a child -
but most students/young people and other trendies in business and the media use tu to each other from the
outset. Ten years ago, this would have been very unusual - linguistic conventions are constantly evolving. A
good rule is, whatever your employer/headteacher/tutor calls you, use vous to them. Changing
from vous to tu (the other way round is rare) is articulated usually by a On va se tutoyer, non? or Tu permets
que je te tutoie, jespre or some such statement/ agreement.
23. You are meeting your French headteacher/employer/a parent of a pupil for the first time... As you shake
hands do you say .. ?

a) Salut
b) Comment a va
c) Bonjour/Bonsoir Madame/Monsieur
d) Bonjour/Bonsoir
Most appropriate would be c, and it would be not excessively polite, if the person holds an important post,
particularly one that affects you, to use that personal vocative and say, for instance Bonjour, Madame le Maire
(note gender) or Bonsoir, Monsieur le Directeur; also Enchant(e) Madame la Directrice would be fine. a
would be too casual - it is used amongst good friends, between students and can mean goodbye as well as
hello. b would be used with someone of your own status whom you already knew wellish. d would be possible
but a touch curt, though tone of voice could be applied to make it polite; it would be quite alright once you
knew the person you were addressing.
24. In France a person hold a door open, stands back, for you to move past. As you move past him/her would
you say ... ?

a) Pardon
b) Excusez-moi
c) Nothing at all
c would be unusual. You could just say Merci, but in this circumstance the French usually embellish. Generally
a "pardon" would be the appropriate formula, which is also the formula for asking someone to repeat
something you didnt quite catch. Excusez-moi would be used if you had done something positively wrong, i.e
accidentally trodden on someones foot, jostled someone. Remember - again - the French love of the polite
vocative and addMonsieur/Madame, Mademoiselle - Excusez-moi, Monsieur etc., if your helper/victim is
unknown to you.
25. You have invited a French friend round for coffee and ask if they take milk. Merci is the reply. Does this
mean ...?

a) They will have milk in their coffee
b) They won't have milk
c) They will only have a little
b is by far the most likely. Merci is generally, after an offer, an abbreviated negative reply fornon merci.
Positive acceptance is likely to be indicated by a Oui, sil vous plat or by Oui, je veux bien. Should they ask for
only a little milk, or a drop, there are various expressions for this (or for any other liquid offered) - une
goutte, un soupon or even une larme, i.e a single teardrop.
26. You are offered a second helping of a dish at a meal. Which is the appropriate refusal formula ... ?

a) Je veux bien
b) Je suis de trop
c) Je suis plein(e)
d) Merci, j'ai trs bien mang
d is the correct formula here, on which there are variations such as Ctait dlicieux, mais non merci. a would
mean you accepted the offer. b would mean you were supernumerary e.g. out of place as a third person in a
couple. c - which is a common mistake made by British people as a direct translation of the - not very polite? -
English Im full - would mean you were pregnant, cause a lot of merriment and leave you embarrassed.
27. Range in order of shortest/longest time-gap before intending to see a person again these French words for
Good-bye (1 = shortest, 6 = longest) ...

a) A la prochaine
b) A bientt
c) Adieu
d) A plus tard
e) Au revoir
f) A tout de suite
f = 1, b = 2, d = 3, e = 4, a = 5, c = 6. However a and e , A la prochaine and Au revoir, are fairly synonymous.
The implication of Adieu is that you will not or may not be seeing the person ever again, so it is less used.
There are other common Good-bye expressions: A tout lheure, A ce soir, A demain matin, A lanne
prochaine; in fact umpteen time words can follow the preposition A. There is the occasional regional variation,
for instance in Breton-speaking parts you may hear Kenavo which is Breton for Good-bye. And do you
remember the last words - in Provenal - of the film Manon des Sources?
28. You wish to explain, to a doctor or a friend, that you have a pain in your lower abdomen. Do you say ...?.

a) J'ai mal au ventre
b) J'ai mal l'stomac
c) J'ai mal au coeur
d) J'ai mal l'intestin
Most appropriate is a . It would be misleading to say b. If you say c it means you feel sick (and not that your
boy/girlfriend has just left you). It would be possible to say d. The Englishtummy-ache covers an area from the
groin to the neck. The French are precise and direct about naming parts of the body. Their livers are regularly
in crisis - une crise de foie - when we would talk about indigestion. In France, your belly is distinct from
your stomach and ventre is not a rude word. Though British mores are changing fast, the French are also less
inhibited about nudity on beaches and on the large and small screen.
29. Range in order of increasing severity/coarseness these directives for asking someone to be quiet (1 = least
coarse, 5 = most severe) ...

a) Vos gueles!
b) Chut!
c) Taisez-vous!
d) Silence!
e) Un peu de calme!
b = 1, e = 2, c = 3, d = 4, a = 5. For English Language Assistants in front of a rowdy class, for
instance, e would be a starter, then c or d. To a group b would be ineffective and a (literallyShut your gobs!)
too coarse for a non-native speaker to use and get away with.
30. Arrange in order of increasing intensity/indecency these expletives for expresing dismay/shock (1 = low
intensity, 4 = high) ...-

a) Putain!
b) Oh!
c) Zut!
d) Merde!
b = 1, c = 2, d = 3, a = 4. Oh! and Zut! (variation Flut!) are polite. Merde! is less so, but very
common. Putain! is indecent. There are numerous other variations and terms. Familiar and slang French is a
vast territory. Care should be taken, using expletives, as a foreigner, no matter how linguistically genuine you
wish to sound. Group size, situation, atmosphere, social grouping, age, gender and status of the speaker and
interlocutor/audience all come into play before appropriateness can be guaranteed. It is good to know French
slang and occasionally be able to use it, but it is important to be in control of shades of register; do not slide
undiscriminatingly into overuse of familiar or slang French at the expense of handling orthodox French in an
educated polite way. Sexist nuances appertain; in many sorts of company a woman, and a man, should avoid
any slang, particularly where indecent terms - strong or mild - are concerned. The language you use defines
the sort of person you are or are taken by others to be. Of the above, French women will stick to b and c and
perhaps - in the right company (good friends/people of the same age-group) - d.

You might also like