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PARTNERED SEXUAL BEHAVIOR


Chapter 6: Sexual Behavior (pg. 172-194)
The kiss represents true love sometimes
- some culture don't have the concept of kissing
- degree of kissing also depends peck to deep kissing
sexual touching takes many forms
- necking kissing or caressing of the head and neck
- petting sexually touching the partners body *often taken to exclude the breasts or
genitalia)
- heavy petting sexually touching the partners genitalia or breasts
- mutual masturbation reciprocal, simultaneous manual stimulation of a partners genitals
- fondling any kind of sexual touching of the partners body
- outercourse sexual activities other than coitus, promoted as a means for preventing
unwanted pregnancy and reducing the risk of STD transmission
- tribadism sexual behavior between two women, who lie front to front and stimulate
each others vulvas with thrusting motions
- foreplay sexual behavior engaged in during the early part of a sexual encounter, with the
aim of increasing sexual arousal
- afterplay sexual behavior engaged in after coitus or orgasm, or at the end of a sexual
encounter
- doesn't mean intercourse is sex all these activities are considered sex by people
oral sex is increasingly popular
- only 50% of women in 45-59 yrs old but 83% of 25-34 yrs old have done oral sex
fellatio is oral stimulation of the penis
- most sensitive are corona and frenulum
- diet changes the taste and odor of semen
- more-educated people tend to enjoy fellatio more than less-educated people; and men
enjoy more than women
cunnilingus is oral stimulation of the vulva
- for some women cunnilingus is the only regular way to achieve orgasm
- effective sexual stimulus because tongue is soft, wet, warm, and highly mobile compared
to finger, which could be too much stimulation
- men actually find cunnilingus very appealing than women; more popular among more-
educated men and women than among less educated
- two drawbacks of 69: less concentrated on pleasure you are receiving, and fellatio is
harder to reach frenulum due to the tongue position
- anilingus prevalence not certain; negative associations with defecation or health
concern
among heterosexuals, most sexual encounters include coitus
- coitus penetration of the vagina by the penis
coitus can be performed in many different positions
- different positions produce somewhat different sensation and emotional experience
- differences that come from positions:
o whos in charge
o eye contact
o free hand to explore erogenous zones
o pregnancy, obese, frail
o duration
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o increased stimulation for men or women orgasm; G-spot, clit
the man-above position is a traditional favorite
- missionary position: not too much freedom for women; male dominant position
the womens movement encouraged alternative positions
- womens rights movement: women more in control; less stimulation for men
- rear-entry coitus = strongest contact with G-spot
- rear-entry coitus in spooning position = comfortable for pregnant women
anal sex may be a part of either heterosexual or male homosexual behavior
- 13% of adult women had engaged in receptive heterosexual anal sex
- anus kept closed by sustained contraction of two sphincter muscles external and
internal sphincter
- need to relax and also use lube
- as it passes through the anal orifice, penis enters the rectum, the lowermost portion of the
intestinal tract
o repeated thrusting likely to bring insertor to orgasm
o only minority of insertees can be brought to orgasm by anal sex alone
- 3 general anal positions: approach from rear, missionary style, or insertee on top
- can be penetrated with dildo, finger, or fisting
Men and women may have different preferences for sexual encounters
- ideal duration for both sexes was 18.9 (women) and 18.1 (men); but in reality, usually on
avg. 11-13min
- man typically lose erection after ejaculation but can delay ejaculation by thrusting slower,
shifting to less stimulating position, or using techniques taught to treat premature
ejaculation in order to lead partner to orgasm
- another way can be to enjoy afterplay so their partner can achieve orgasm after erection is
lost
- women enjoy more relaxed schedule than men
o 96% of lesbians spend more than 15min on lovemaking and 39% spend more than
an hour
o also greater variety of behavior and emphasis on general body contact in addition
to genital contacts
- same sex couples know each others anatomy well (cz its same as theirs); also more
effective communication but downside is that this might take away the mystery and
tension that energize heterosexual relationship
sex toys are used to enhance sexual pleasure
- vibrators: more expensive ones offer extra options; 63% (women) and 48% (men)
reported using vibrators in bed
o used to stimulate women as they need prolonged stimulation on clitoris to achieve
orgasm
o men also use it sometimes (vibrating sleeve or ring; or even ones women use) and
stimulate scrotum, perineum, or anus while masturbating or partnered sex
- dildos: wide variety of shape, size, and style
o strap-on dildos used by men who are unable to achieve erection lesbian couples,
or woman who anally penetrate men
o silicone rubber preferred for flexibility, smooth surface, and ease of cleaning
- anal beads: set of silicone or plastic beads on a string that are inserted into the anus and
then pulled out slowly
- erotic dolls: popular with men
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o some are super realistic (costly) that even have internal skeletons and joins to
allow life-like movement and positioning
some men give up real life human beings in favor of these dolls, who they
treat not just as sex objects, but as life partners
what is great sex?
- being present and focused
- connection
- intimacy
- communication verbal and nonverbal
- authenticity, transparency
- transcendence, bliss
- exploration, risk-taking
- vulnerability
sexual behavior and attitude vary among cultures
the kama sutra is the classic work on how to make love
- kama sutra means love guide in Hindu teaching
- genital size matters in Hindu teaching female and male should be matching (hare penis
is not big enough for elephant vagina) in such case, Vatsyayana recommends penis
enlargement (repeated application of the bristles of certain tree living insects, followed by
rubbing the penis with oil for 10 nights and sleeping with penis hanging down through a
hole in bed)
o if this doesn't work, then use metal or ivory sleeves studded with pleasure bumps
(modern days: cock sleeves), or strap-on dildo
- lots of different sex positions
- gender inequality on sexual interest: Indian women no caressing, no emotional acts, just
duty ; dry sex in southern Africa
the Aka emphasize the importance of frequent sex
- on average have sex three nights a week, each day engaging in coitus at least 3 times
- to do so, men use sexual stimulant that they obtain by chewing the bark of a certain tree
- sex = hard work ; motivated by the need to produce numerous children in a culture where
infant and child mortality is high
- they also believe that fetus needs repeated infusions of a mans semen in order to grow
seminal nurture
many disabled people have active sex life too
many intellectually disabled people are competent to make sexual choices
- intellectually disabled people have constitutional right as other people to make informed
choices about sexual activities to the extent they are capable of doing
- its illegal for anyone to have sexual contact with an intellectually disabled person if that
person lacks the mental capacity to give informed consent = becomes sexual assault or
rape
o if incapable of giving consent, caregivers have a responsibility to protect that
person
spinal cord injuries present a major challenge to sexual expression
- quadriplegia paralysis affecting almost the entire body below the neck
- paraplegia paralysis affecting the lower half of the body
- they use parts that are unimpaired (i.e. quadriplegia = mouth, paraplegia = hands, breasts)
o overtime they become more sensitive that they may experience orgasm or highly
pleasant sensation comparable to orgasm
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often may be experienced as if coming from genitalia (phantom orgasm)
- man with spinal cord injury may or may not be able to have erection
o if injury lowest portion, man unlikely to be able to have an erection under any
circumstances neural mechanism that activate erection disabled
o if injury high portion, probably will be able to have erection in response to sensory
stimulation of genitalia
o if spinal cord injury is complete, man will not feel any sensations from his penis,
erect or not, nor will he have erection in response to erotic sights or fantasies
o Viagra can be used only if at least partial erection can be obtained without the drug
- Ejaculation possible if lower-level injury, esp. if not complete transection
o Complete upper-level injury makes ejaculation impossible cuts off signals from
brain center (even if possible, not same sensation, or occur retrogradely due to
failure of sphincter at upper end of urethral)
- Can have coitus if they wish to usually use the stuffing technique into vagina because
its not erect. But thrusting motion will lead the penis to erect (reflex)
- For women with spinal cord injury, they may lose movement, sensation, and vaginal
lubrication
o With lower-level injuries, engorgement of vulvar tissues may be lose too
o Can reach orgasm but lowest with complete injuries affecting lowest regions;
among those that can, time taken to reach orgasm was longer, but quality was
relatively the same
o Some women experience orgasm even after spinal cord is completely severed
why?
Sensory signals carried in the vagus nerve, which has sensory branches that
innervate the abdomen and pelvis, bypass the spinal cord altogether
Also can sustain pregnancy and deliver a child (higher risk)
Arthritis is the number one disability affecting sex
- arthritis include osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, and systemic lupus erythematosus
- affects an estimated 15% of US population women and elderly disproportionately
affected
- if affects the large joints, such as hips, it may impair postures or body movements involved
in partnered sex
- if affects small joints of the hands, may interfere with masturbation, sensual touching, and
tasks requiring dexterity, such as putting on a condom or inserting a diaphragm
- to solve these problems, sex can be planned during times when symptoms are less
bothersome or medication, have sex in warm shower, gentle massage, or use of vibrator to
assist arousal
- if women has arthritis affecting hips, then man-above position isnt suitable adjust so
affected joints get least stress

ATTRACTION, RELATIONSHIP, AND LOVE

Chapter 5: Attraction, Arousal, and Response (pg. 131-144)
Sexual attraction: it takes two
- sexual attraction is different from liking, judgment of the person being attractive or not,
romantic love, or mate choice
beauty is not entirely in the eyes of the beholder
masculinity-femininity
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- even without secondary sex characteristics, people can accurately judge the gender of the
person
o women have fuller lips, larger eyes; men have wider jaws, noses, and larger chins
- women use cosmetics to increase feminine traits to increase attractiveness
- but for men, super masculine features doesn't necessary lead to full attractiveness
because those traits can often make them look cold or unkind
o thus, ratings of masculine feature attractiveness judged by women vary more than
feminine feature attractiveness judged by men
- womens attraction to masculine-looking faces varies around their menstrual cycle
babyfacedness
- traits indicative of passage through puberty (and therefore fertility) are considered
attractive
- but some studies have shown that babyfacedness increase attractiveness
- study:
o computer generated face averaged 64 womens face (attractive)
o then progressively morphed that image towards the standard childlike face
o found that 30% admixture of babyfacedness produced the most attractive face
- why this paradox?
o Main features of childrens faces that enhance attractiveness are low position of
facial features on the head, prominent forehead, large eyes, and small nose
They elicit positive, protective feeling that adults feel about children
o Male babyfacedness doesn't increase attractiveness; but does have a disarming
effect (eg. African-American CEOs tend to have babyface probably helps them
overcome the stereotype of threatening black men)
Symmetry
- evolutionary theory behind attraction to symmetry: single genetic program guides the
development of the left and right sides of the body, asymmetrical features can arise only if
the genetic program has been derailed in some way
o persons genes were poor quality, or ran into some kind of interference (i.e.
infection) during development
- people with asymmetrical features are more likely to suffer from variety of disorders
culture influences the attractiveness of bodies
- attractiveness of bodies signals information about its sexual differentiation under the
influence of sex hormones, and hence about fertility, strength, healthy, and other
important info about reproduction
- but, attractive bodily features are not universal
- slimness-fatness
o healthy BMI = 18.5 to 25 (overweight = 25-30; obese = BMI > 30)
o US/ Western countries prefer women with BMIs around 18-22
o White Britons: prefer BMI around 20, steady decline below and above that value
o Zulus in South Africa: prefer BMI 20 and above with only decline below this value
(attractiveness steady up to BMI40)
o Zulus that migrated to Britain: adopted White Britons preference
Suggests strong cultural influence
o Low attractiveness rating of women underweight are universal (less likely to be
fertile)
- Waist-to-hip ratio (WHR)
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o Some research suggests the importance of WHR 0.9 for women and 0.7-0.8 for
men
o Preference for breast size also unclear most men do find attractive big breasts,
only in combination with narrow waist
o Wide shoulders and well-developed pectoral muscles increase mens attractiveness
= links to strength
Men use clothes and adornment to increase their shoulder width
Women with a need to assert strength in male-dominated environment
have tried to use the same technique (i.e. shoulder pads)
o Men tend to think body builder type body is good for women, women tend to think
big breasts are good for men; but in reality, moderate is best and thus cause
unnecessary anxiety
Magazine tend to reflect this disconnect; body-builder (men) vs swimmer
(women)
- Also cultural influence
o Breasts: western = sexually attractive; traditional cultures of Mali = not sexually
attractive so don't cover with clothes
- Faces
o Generally prefer faces of individuals from their own ethnic group
o US rates Japanese attractiveness same way Japanese do
Judgment of beauty depends on mix of cultural and universal factors
- Males prefer younger females evolutional terms, more fertile and more years to nurture
child; female prefer men who are somewhat older than themselves
- Cosmetic enhancement: breast implants, botox, etc
- Choice-blindness = process of judging visual attractiveness is a largely unconscious
process, and when asked to give details about why certain face is more attractive, the
details given are just plausible explanation provided by consciousness
Attractiveness involves senses besides vision
- blind person feels sexual attraction too
- hearing and smell also plays important role
o deeper voice in men more attractive; men prefer higher-pitched for women
o study: women sniffed T-shirt worn by men. During their fertile period, women
picked shirts worn by men with physically symmetrical bodies seems to be a
correlation between body odor and physical symmetry
behavior and personality influence sexual attractiveness
- behavior and personality takes longer to be apparent but still influences attractiveness
- eg. smiling in pictures are rated more attractive than neutral faces
- physical attractiveness most important factor for casual, short-term sex partner (doesn't
mean personality isnt important)
- humor: for women, mens humor increased attractiveness; for men, no such effect was
observed
o why then do men say they value sense of humor in women?
Male subjects find their partner sexually attractive when they laugh at
subjects jokes
Laughter often signals sexual receptivity
- Your ideal preference might not that important or relevant when you actually choose
someone or find someone attractive
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o i.e. speed dating study: asked to list desirable characteristic. After speed dating,
subjects choose future dates. These dates did not really represent what was
previously listed.
- Men more focused on physical attractiveness of partner; women more focused on financial
aspect and status of partner
o If women have lots of resource herself, still seek men of higher status than her
o Some studies have shown that they focus more on physical attractiveness (explains
why young males of today try to look good)
Familiarity may increase or decrease attraction
- mere exposure effect: we like a stimulus better when we encounter it again, even if we
don't remember experiencing it before
- one face we are always exposed to are our own
o study: generated opposite sex pictures of individuals on compute (male became
female, vice versa) and asked to pick the most attractive face
subjects found opposite sex picture of themselves most attractive
o study: mirror image vs direct image
individuals preferred mirror image of themselves better, while friends
preferred direct image
- in some cases, familiarity can reduce attractiveness
o siblings are not sexual attracted and they also form aversion towards each others
odor adaptive value of reducing incestuous mating
- sexual familiarity also reduce attractiveness
o Coolidge effect males who have just mated with mate again more promptly if
presented with novel female
o Study: college male listened to erotic tape narrated by female. If same tape was
played, sexual arousal declined due to habituation but if new tape was played,
sexual arousal remained high
o This is true in relationship too the longer couples stay together, less sexual
satisfaction they get addition of novel factors such as position and location can
counteract habituation effect
Perceived attractiveness varies around the menstrual cycle
- women prefer men with somewhat more masculine faces and deeper voice near the time
of ovulation
- evolutionary terms: men with such features are more likely to possess genes conferring
health and strength
o during rest of cycle, they may be drawn to other males, such as their partner due
to supply and demand, these guys are not likely to be the most genetically favored
male
o does this mean women are more likely to engage in sex outside the partnership
during fertile days?
Yes; if we cheat, we can say its an adaptive behavior
- Sexual attractiveness to men also varies around menstrual cycle tips of lapdancers
much higher during ovulation
Some people do not experience sexual attraction
- asexual still experience romantic attraction in the sense of desiring psychological
intimacy, but no desire for physical sex
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- asexual people do masturbate as frequently as sexual men, suggesting the difference
between these population lies not in the pleasure that genital stimulation and orgasm can
provide, but interpersonal aspect of sexual desire
- pros: more time, spared the complications of negotiating sexual relationships, no STDs, no
unwanted pregnancies
- cons: worry about what is wrong with them, difficulty maintaining close relationships
while rebuffing sexual advances

Chapter 7: Sexual Relationships (pg 202-230)
Casual sex has more appeal to men than to women
- casual sex sexual encounters that do not take place within a lasting sexual relationship
- 35% men and 15% women believe casual sex is acceptable
- study: attractive male and female college student as confederate; went on campus to ask
three questions: would you go out with me tonight?, would you come over to my
apartment tonight?, and would you go to bed with me tonight?
o first question: agreeing response around the same percentage for men and women
o second question: 69% male agreed, very little percentage of women agreed
o third question: 75% male agreed, 0% women agreed
o replicated study: one in England = virtually same result; Austria = 6% women
agreed to last question (suggests some women do actually agree)
- the increase in womens willingness to casual sex nowadays is probably due to reliable
contraception (and legal abortion in some places), less damage to reputation for women
that engage in premarital sex,
- still, fear of disease, fear of violence, and fear of being labeled a slut are three concerns
that limit womens willingness
hooking up the new norm?
- hooking up uncommitted sex with an acquaintance
- much more common on college campuses than a decade or two ago; but still not a
dominant hookup culture
- study by College Social Life Survey (CSLS):
o median number of hookups by seinor-year students since entering college is 4
o 36% say they never hooked up
o 24% say theyre virgins
o why more nowadays?: postponement of age of marriage, enforcement of sexual
norms by peers and pop culture
o economic theory explanation: there are more women on campus now compared to
before, so guys have more options and can turn to the next one if first one says no
- study: campus sex ration and virginity rate
o in campus where women were minority, women were quite likely to be virgins:
they can tell their boyfriend id rather not have sex now, if you don't like it, I have
other guys to choose from
o as proportion of women increased, virgin rate decreased: its like the boyfriend
saying if you dont give me sex, I have other girls to choose from
- some say hookup s are sign of moral decay or presents a practical danger to young women
emotionally damaging for women; but many argue against this too
casual sex is more accepted in the gay male community
- casual sex more prevalent among gay men homosexual or bisexual reported an avg. of
3.1 sex partners in the previous 12 months
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- explanations for greater prevalence:
o gay men are not restrained by womens reluctance to engage in casual sex
o pregnancy is not an issue
o gay men, who may already be stigmatized by society for their sexual orientation,
are less likely to pay attention to public opinion on the topic of casual sex
- casual sex opportunities at gay bars, bath houses, public toilets, outdoor cruising locations
such as parks and freeway rest areas, personal ads or internet
- though little stigma in gay community, not all gay men approve of the practice or
engagement
o some limit due to risk of HIV or other diseases
o some live in areas where potential partners are scarce
o some believe casual sex gives gay communities a bad name
o are in monogamous relationship
- lesbian communities: less casual sex acceptance (similar reason to heterosexual women)
negotiating sex involves flirting
- woman who is interested in a man would smile, arch her brows, look down and to the
side, and then put her hands near her mouth, and laugh
- if both persons attracted, move closer, make slight touching movements, nod in
agreement, and gaze into each others eyes
- these behavior remarkable consistency across culture = standard set of flirting behavior
- standard set of anti-flirting/ rejection behavior = frowning, sneering, picking at nails or
teeth
- men flirting: higher-pitched but quieter voice, used you and we more than men who
were not flirting
- people tend to believe that partners were being flirtatious only when they themselves
were being flirtatious
- woman of average look who act flirtatiously us far more likely to be approached by a man
than is a highly attractive woman who doesnt flirt
Dating Relationships are often short-lived
- delaying sex until later in the relationship: delayers more satisfied with their relationships
o perhaps selection effect : those who had sex earlier were those who were less
interested in a stable relationship in the first place
- person who dates a succession of partners over a period of time is usually engaging in
serial monogamy
first dates may follow a script
- traditional script:
o leading, active role of male: picks up the woman, plans and pays for activities,
initiates any sexual intimacy, takes her home
o reactive role of female: accepting or rejecting the date, activities, and the sex
- traditional script still very much used; some differences however
o dates can be arranged via Internet dating site
o not too much pressure in deciding whether the relationship is for fun or long-term
- younger population follow traditional gender based differences (male = sex, female =
friendship, or having fun); older population seek lifelong relationship
- as dating relationships continue, social scripts that organized first date gradually get
replaced by interpersonal scripts patterns of behavior that develop between couples
same-sex dates have their own scripts
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- must have initial recognition or mutual disclosure that the two people are open to a same-
sex relationship
- gender role aspect of traditional scripts less relevant in gay/lesbian community
Love cements many sexual relationships
There are different kinds of love
- non sexual
o nurturing care
o friendship
o charitable feeling Jesus instructed his followers to direct toward all fellow humans
- sexual
o early stages: romantic love, passionate love, limerence, falling in love
o later stages: companionate, realistic, or mature love
romantic love may be a human universal
- romantic love intense and erotic attraction that involves the idealization of, obsessive
thinking about, and longing for union with another person
o doesn't require familiarity or reciprocation; these two factors in fact may end
romantic love and transform into companionate love
- anthropologists/historians: romantic love is a product of Western industrial society, or
that in preindustrial societies it was experienced by onl the leisured elite class
o modern day: studies have found clear evidence of romantic love in 147 (86%) of
cultures concluded romantic love is human universal or near-universal
- modern Western culture is unusual in that they place emphasis on romantic love as a
prerequisite for marriage
o many cultures, marriage partner chosen by parents or economic or other practival
criteria
being in love may be the justification for marriage or sex
- by 1990s, less than 4% of Americans said they would marry someone they didn't love,
compared with 50% of Indians and Pakistanis (arrange marriage common)
- falling in love also seems to give permission for sex, esp. for women
o 58% of women mentioned being in love as a reason they first had intercourse
o only 30% of men mentioned this factor (more frequent reason was curiosity)
people fall in love with attractive persons who show some interest in them
- some causes of falling in love
o loneliness
o attractiveness
o shown some interest
- in other words, falling in love is often a reciprocation of the expression of positive feelings
by the beloved
- love at first sight?
o 44% men, 36% women said it's happened to them before
o cannot be tested because its very subjective; but the fact so many have said its
happened, familiarity doesn't seem to be necessary ingredient for falling in love
researchers are probing the biological basis of love
- line of animal research on vole for biological basis of love
o prairie voles form lifelong pair bonds that are established at first mating
o mountain voles and meadow boles are sexually promiscuous
o examination of brain and endocrine system suggest that pair bonding is mediated
by several hormones or neurotransmitters, including oxytocin and vasopressin
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when hormones injected into mountain voles brain, facilitated pair bonding
- brain imaging technology
o DA system activated when shown a picture of someone you have recently fallen in
love with
Activity patterns are quite similar to those generated by euphoria-inducing
drug cocaine
o When picture shown again after a year or so after youve fallen in love, pattern is
more complex: DA system and cerebral cortex region known to be involved in
erotic arousal and pleasure becomes activated
Also areas related to sorrow or fear becomes partially suppressed
One theory proposes that love has three components
- Robert Sternberg: love has three elements:
o Passion the overwhelming feeling of attraction typical of the early stage of a
loving relationship
Motivational component; strongest in the initial heat of romantic love; urge
to merge
o Intimacy the sense of connectedness in an established relationship
Emotional component
o Commitment the decision to maintain a relationship
Cognitive component
- Three elements can combine in different ways to produce different kinds of love
o Liking: high intimacy, low passion and commitment; friendship
o Infactuation: high passion, low intimacy and commitment; love at first sight
o Empty love: high commitment, low passion and intimacy; final, stagnant stage of a
romantic relationship; first stages of arranged marriage
o Romantic love: high intimacy and passion, low commitment; Romeo and Juliet
o Companionate love: high intimacy and commitment, low passion; marriages or
cohabitations
o Fatuous love: high passion and commitment, low intimacy; whirlwind romances
where two lovers rush off to get married and set up a home together without ever
getting to know each other very well (high-risk relationship)
o Consummate love: all elements are full
- He also claimed that people are most likely to be satisfied when shapes of their own and
their lovers triangles match or nearly match
- Questionnaires to assess these elements
o Women scored higher on both intimacy and commitment
o Both women and men scored about equally on passion
o Strength of intimacy = best predictor of satisfaction; commitment best predictor of
satisfaction for marriage
- Graphical nature (triangles) so easy to use in therapeutic setting
Unrequited love is painful for both parties
- ultimate in mismatched love triangles is unrequited love love that is not reciprocated
- suitor a person who is seeking to establish a romantic relationship with another
- brain imaging: same brain regions became active when recently rejected lovers thought
about their rejection as when a painfully hot stimulus was applied to their arms
- rejection = failure to obtain what you want, humiliation of rejection, crushing blow to
ones self-esteem, abandonment anger
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- can also be thought of as a trial-and error experience in order to know what your
personal value is and to find someone that matches you perfectly
o through experience, you know what you like and don't like, what you want and
don't want, etc
- some people, esp. those with controlling o manipulative personalities or poor
communication skills, it may be difficult to take no for final answer, and a single-minded
pursuit of the desired person may ensue
o obsessive relational intrusion suitor cannot stop obsessing over the desired
relationship, perhaps spending hours each day locked in thoughts and feelings
about the unreciprocated love
o may lead to stalking
the rejecter may experience guilt
- guilt has three sources:
o guilt at having led the suitor on
o guilt at not returning the suitors affection
o guilt at inflicting humiliation on the suitor by telling that person that they are not
loved in return
- rejecters role is unscripted, therefore can cause misunderstanding or fail to communicate
the rejection clearly
- biases:
o suitor says rejector reciprocated at first and led them on
o rejector says they gave explicit rejection but suitor persisted unreasonably in spite
of the rejection
Life experiences mold our sexual relationships
Relationship styles are influenced by childhood attachments
- attachment theory the idea that relationship styles are influenced by the quality of the
early parent-child bond
o secure: have a basic self-confidence and trust that allows them to enter into
intimate relationships with relative ease during adolescence and adulthood
o avoidant: may be uncomfortable with adult intimacy and may strike potential
romantic partners as cold
o anxious or ambivalent: may have unrealistic dear of being deserted, and this may
cause them to seek an emotional merger that actually has opposite effect
driving the partner away
- man who assault their partner have a childhood history of insecure attachment
couples in relationships resemble each other
- couples, short=term or married/cohabiting, resemble each other in variables such as race,
ethnicity, religion, age, educational level, socioeconomic status, height, eye color, physical
attractiveness, intelligence, personality variable
- tendency of sexually partnered couples to resemble each other is called homogamy
- studies have shown that couples who resemble each other in a variety of respects are
more likely to stay together, and express greater satisfaction with their relationships at
later time in the relationships
- most robust correlation = age; couples where man is much older or younger experience at
least twice the risk of breakup
- not just internally good, but also externally
o family of same background might get along better and therefore better support
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o eg. closer aged couples gain social approval easier than couple with big age
difference
communication is a key factor in success of relationships
- couples that communicate well before marriage are likely to be satisfied, couples that
communicate poorly before marriage (even if happiness levels are the same) are likely to
be dissatisfied after a couple of years
- couples that communicate out of aggression is likely to separate few years later
o so accurate that researchers can predict with 65%-90% accuracy the state of
marriage 5 years down the road
communication may be inhibited by upbringing or by the gender barrier
- parents don't discuss genitals, sex lives, or sexual problems with their children and so
they learn that sex is a taboo subject quickly
o sense of shame
- gender barrier: male can comfortably use words like pussy and dick; women may
think of it as being vulgar.
o Use of different terminologies and lack of knowledge leads to misunderstanding
- Cultural factors:
o Asian (esp. women) have trouble discussing sex and relationship problems
o Hispanic Americans have a custom of marital silence on sexual issues (traditional
expectation of machismo traditional Latino culture of manliness, which
delineates sharp gender roles and gives men certain obligations and privileges
Marriage and relationship education teaches communication skills
- MRE programs teach basic communication skills
- Couples may first practice core communication skills (i.e. one speaker speaks and listener
listens, then responds) taking turns speaking using tokens
- This active listening exercises teach 2 important points:
o The right of one partner to make a clear statement of a potential problem without
interruption
o The obligation of the other to provide some feedback to acknowledge
understanding the statement and to process it in a way that will bring the
interaction to a satisfactory close
How couples deal with conflict affects the stability of their relationship
- anger does not necessary be a bad thing in the long run, it helps couples by giving them
an opportunity to talk about it; same doesn't happen if couples take withdrawal,
defensiveness, criticism, or contempt as their conflict management styles
o doesn't mean presenting anger all the time is the solution
must balance with positive and negative those who start convo with
positive startup have better relationship survival rate than those who start
convo with negative statements (ex. I love the way you smell, but maybe
right now, you should go take shower vs you smell)
- stonewalling (verbally silent and shows little facial or gestural expression) generally lead
to termination of relationship
o behavioral couples therapy
- trust is important: you trust your partner is you can answer these two question with yes
o is my partner there for me?
o Can I count on my partner?
- Trust based more on behavior than on thoughts or words alone
14
- A couple that truly appreciates and feels thankful for each others positive qualities is
headed toward a life blessed with trust and love
Love, Jealousy, and Infidelity May Be Intertwined
- jealousy fear that a partner may be sexually or emotionally unfaithful
- sexual jealousy fear that ones partner is engaging in sexual contacts with another
person
- emotional jealousy fear that ones partner is becoming emotionally committed to
another person
- men typically experience sexual jealousy more strongly than women; women experience
emotional jealousy more strongly than men
jealousy can have a positive function
- sociologists says jealousy is purely cultural phenomenon; evolutionary psychologists say
its hardwired adaptation to certain inescapable facts about reproduction
- major risk for women: man would take up with another mate and leave her with
insufficient resources to rear her children alone
- major risk for men: he would unwittingly devote a great deal of time and effort to helping
rear children who were actually fathered by another man
o these differences explain why men and women experience different kinds of
jealousy
- men don't care much if woman cheated with woman because it doesn't lead to birth of
child; women care more if partner cheated with men because theres a greater risk of
abandonment
- jealousy is part of the mechanism that detects and gives salience to cheating by a partner,
and then motivates action to prevent or end it
- some negative aspects:
o 13% of homicides are spousal murders, most triggered by jealousy
jealousy can become a high-stakes game
- woman especially may intentionally flirt with other men to trigger their partners jealousy
o successful flirting increases her attractiveness in the eyes of her partner
o woman keep track of their partners response
if he is rather indifferent, then she may perceive it as lack of commitment to
relationship
- when couples are mismatched in their attractiveness, usually the more attractive ones are
likely to be unfaithful
o might think they are not getting their fair market value, and simply gets hit on
more
- less attractive are more likely to be committed and experience more intense jealousy
- height is a good predictor for the persons likelihood of experiencing jealousy
o shorter men more prone to jealousy than taller men; tall and short women more
prone to jealousy than women of average height
- delusional jealousy persistent false belief that ones partner is involved with another
person
extra-pair relationships have many styles and motivations
- extra-pair relationships a sexual relationship in which at least one of the partners is
already married to or partnered with someone else; extramarital relationships
- cybersex increasingly common 8% of partnered respondents said that they had
engaged in cybersex; 58% of respondents thought that online romantic relationships
amounted to infidelity
15
personal and evolutionary factors influence infidelity
- lack of physical satisfaction, communication, love, or prolonged absence of primary
partner can lead to affairs
- also if one things they are not getting what they deserve, or to try to trigger jealousy, or to
do it because their partner is already doing it
- gay people that are heterosexually married might too
- back burner relationship = backups, esp ex. during early stages of relationship
- when romantic love transitions into companionate love people look for the heat
- evolutionary roots:
o social monogamy formation of pair bonds, or marriages between two persons,
which may or may not be sexually exclusive
o sexual monogamy the formation of pair bonds or marriages that are sexually
exclusive
o males engage in extra-pair sex because its an inexpensive way to have more
offsprings
o females engage in extra-pair sex to get access to more resources or to get better
genes
women more likely to engage in this behavior when they are more likely to
conceive unconsciously shopping for better gene
extra-pair relationships are uncommon
- only 20% of ever-married men and 14% of women said they engaged in extramarital sex
o but honesty problem
women more honest when entering response into computer than face-to-
face interview
- Viagra and improved healthcare = infidelity an increasingly available option for older
people
- most believe it to be morally wrong or want to maintain stable relationship


Chapter 12: Sexual Orientation

There is a Spectrum of Sexual Orientations
Sexual orientation direction of a persons sexual feelings; heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual
Heterosexuality attraction to persons of other sex only (straight)
Homosexuality attraction to persons of ones own sex only (gay, lesbian)
Bisexuality sexual attraction to both sexes (bi)

1. Kinsey: 7 point scale of sexual orientation from 0-6 (hetero to homosexual)
1. Kinsey scale
2. Now 5 point scale is more common
3. Distribution of sexual orientation is biased towards heterosexual end
1. At least 80-90% of men and women say they are attracted to opposite sex
4. <2% of men and <1% of women are attracted to same sex only, but mostly rises
up to 2-4%
5. People may be reluctant to admit they are homosexual
6. Findings:
1. More men than women are exclusively homosexual
2. More women than men represent various degrees of bisexuality
16
3. Sex differences emerge when asked about sexual orientation
1. More women bisexuals than men, much more gay men than lesbian
women, and something else around 1-2.5%
Sexual Orientation is Not an Isolated Trait
2. Stereotypes that are false or over generalized about lesbians and gays
3. Some gay people promote as being gender variant atypical in gender characteristics
1. But some reject this view
4. Are there gender related differences between gay and straight people considered as entire
groups?
1. Research in examining gender-related traits in large number of gay and straight
people
1. Gays on average DO differ in a number of these traits from straight people of
same sex
2. Findings:
1. Childhood:
1. Boys who become gay - engage less in rough play, aggressive
behavior and athletics, less focused on boy toys and activities,
interact more with girls and girly reputation, less
stereotypical male career plans
2. Girls who become lesbians opposite is true, active
physically, tomboy, male career plans
2. Home videos suggest these findings are not based on recollections of
gay/straight adults distorted reflections:
1. Raters that watched childhood videos provided by
gay/straight adults rated pre-gay children more as gender-
nonconformist than pre-straight kids (without knowing
which was which)
2. Hard to predict future sexual orientation based on this, but
studies show some correlation
3. Adulthood:
1. Gay men average are gender atypical in some sort of sex
differentiated cognitive trait, less aggressive than straight
men, perform less well on male favored tests like mental
rotation, do better on female favoring tests like verbal fluency,
object location memory and face recognition
2. Lesbian females score doing better than heterosexual
women in mental rotation and worse in female favoring tests
3. Graph shows that: gay men and lesbians are atypical in verbal
fluency
1. List as many words as you can in 1 min that have
same meaning as dark
2. Results for gay men were about same as straight
women and lesbians were about same as straight men
4. Average:
1. Gay and bi men describe self as less masculine than do
straight men
2. Lesbian and bi women describe self as less feminine than
straight women
17
3. Gays and lesbians tend to be nonconformist in choice of
occupation and recreational interests
4. Seen across different cultures
5. Gaydar ability to identify persons sexual orientation on
basis of unconscious behaviors like body motions and voice,
atypical gender cues
5. Partial correlation between sexual orientation and other aspects of
gender and differences between gay and straight people are more
consistent for men than women
5. Boys will be Girls (box)
1. Belief that feminine boys have chance of being gay when older
2. 1960s Study:
1. To test this, recruited families with feminine son (such as cross dressing)
2. Recruited matched control boys, chosen without regard of gender
characteristics
3. Interviewed these boys and parents during childhood, adolescence and
young adulthood
4. Findings:
1. Control boys became heterosexual, with one exception
2. Feminine boys most became gay or bi
3. Most feminine boys wished were girls when younger but became
conventional gay men without feminine qualities
4. Only one wanted sexual reassignment surgery
5. Some feminine boys were heterosexual at last interview which
means childhood characteristics are not always predictive of adult
orientation even for extreme non-conformist, and not all gays have
obvious feminine/gender nonconformity during childhood
Diverse Theories Attempt to Explain Sexual Orientation
1. Freud Proposed Psychodynamic Models
1. Freud saw heterosexuality as normal end stage of the multistage of psychosexual
development
2. Process included a homosexual phase in early childhood that is forgotten later on
3. Normal development could be disrupted by abnormal relationships with family,
blocks normal development then kid will be stuck in early homosexual phase
1. A mother being too close or seductive toward child
2. A father who was too distant or hostile
3. Intense sibling rivalry
4. Penis envy
4. Thought homosexuals could be converted into heterosexuality
5. Thought that gay adults who underwent psychoanalysis could uncover root of the
problem from childhood and relationships and could then attain normal end point:
heterosexuality but this was rare, can result in trauma in client and parents
2. Sexual Orientation has been attributed to socialization
1. Suggested that homosexuality is from childhood molestation, rape and consensual
same sex experiences in early/young adulthood
2. People who go to single sex boarding schools have more homosexual experiences
but not more likely to become gay
3. Lesbians are not more likely to be molested during childhood than straight women
18
4. Socialization effects are subtle
1. Women whose sexual feelings are strongly modulated by love and intimacy
than men may give greater fluidity to their sexual orientation
2. Parents may guide childs development with operant conditioning, no
positive evidence though
3. No evidence on kids who later become gay are exposed to any parental
training in the direction
5. Socialization strongly influences how gay people think about themselves and how
they live their lives t
3. Biological Theories focus on prenatal hormones and genes
1. Everything depends on androgen levels during sensitive period of prenatal
development
2. Fetus brains exposed to high levels of androgen during this period (males mostly)
gynephilic sexually attracted to women
3. Fetus brains exposed to low levels of androgens (females mostly) androphilic
sexually attracted to men
4. Could be brains sensitivity to hormones that make this difference
5. Prenatal hypothesis explain why gay people are on average gender atypical in
many traits besides their sexual orientation
6. Assume that brain circuits that mediate other gendered traits differentiate as well
7. Animal research
1. Findings:
1. Preference for animals like rats for male or female sex partners can
be altered by experimental manipulation of androgen levels during
development
8. Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) human fetuses are exposed to high
levels of androgen regardless of sex shows change in preference
1. CAH women experience same sex attraction and engage in same sex
relationships more than control groups of women
2. Do findings in CAH affected people say anything about healthy people?
1. Researchers looked for biological markers related to sexual
orientation in general population
2. Focused on hypothalamus regulation of sex hormone levels and
menstrual cycle
3. Media preoptic area region at front of hypothalamus is involved
in regulation of sexual behaviors, typically shown by males, including
preference for female partners
4. INAH3 third interstitial nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus
neuronal cell group in hypothalamus that differs in size between men
and women and between gay and straight men
5. Based on research
1. Findings:
1. Sex difference comes from differences in sex hormone
levels during prenatal period when this region is
developing
2. Measure volume of INAH3 in autopsied brains of gay
and straight men volume smaller in gay men and
volume in gay men similar to straight women
19
3. PET scans to study brain activity patterns in subjects
sniffing odorous compounds that act as phermones
like from sweat or urine
1. Androstadienone (AND) is from male armpit
sweat that has good effects on womens mood
2. Frontal part of hypothalamus was active in
heterosexual women and gay men while
sniffing AND, but inactive in lesbians
3. Found same results when using substance
released by women
4. Functional connections between olfactory system and
hypothalamus differ between homosxual and
heterosexual individuals of same sex
9. Biological differences
1. Findings:
1. Differences between gay and straight people in relative size of left
and right cerebral hemispheres, function in inner ear, eyeblink
reflexes, anatomical features like relative lengths of fingers and ratio
of arm length to height
1. Not diagnostic but some differences that emerged
2. Traits are sex atypical or intermiediate between sexes in gay men or
lesbians
10. Prenatal hormone theory does not explain why androgen levels are different
between gay and straight fetuses
11. Internal and environmental processes could affect these levels
12. Other research findings:
1. Fetuss genes affect prenatal hormone levels or sensitivity to hormones
2. Family and twin studies show that genes do influence sexual orientation
3. One gay person in a family increases likelihood of finding others, especially
in monozygotic twins
4. Genes have more influence on men but still measurable influence in
womens sexual orientiation
5. Boys who have older brothers are more likely to grow up gay than boys who
dont due to biological mechanism
The Gay Community has struggled for Equal Rights
1. The gay rights movement began in Germany
1. First gay rights organization Scientific Humanitarian Committee in Berlin 1897
2. Hierschfeld a gay Jew doctor and sexologist that developed biological theory of
sexual orientation and gender
3. Struggle to have sodomy statutes overthrown
4. Close to success but broken up by Nazi
5. Thousands of German gays were sent to concentration camps, mostly men, and
most died
1. Had to wear a pink triangle, now used as a worldwide icon for gay rights
6. After WW2, gay activism moved to US Mattachine Society along with lesbian
organization founded and served as support groups
1. Picketing White house to protest firing of gay federal employees
20
2. Riot in 2969 in response to police raid of gay bars that lead to street
demonstration for days
3. Stonewall Rebellion start of modern gay rights movement
4. Status of gays was not good, APA considered as mental disorder and
attempt to cure gays
5. Gay people had no legal protection from discrimination and were dismissed
from public/private employment due to their sexual orientation
7. 1970s rapid change
1. Gay right marches
2. National Organization for Women (NOW) acknowledged role of lesbians
8. 1973 homosexuality was deleted from DSM
9. 1974 first openly gay was elected office
1. Homosexuality became topic of considerable public interest, more
sympathy and more antidiscrimination ordinance
10. Response to AIDS was that it was a gay disease AIDS activism and gay activism
11. Gays and lesbians joined and founded co-gender organization
12. Came out of the closet increasingly more from 30 to 73%
13. Pro-gray attitude increased over last 2 decades and legislative decisions
1. 2003 Massachusetts paved way for gay marriage
2. More rights for gays such as laws banning forms of discrimination, gender
identity as protected category
3. US armed forces welcome gay and lesbian recruits
14. Changing views on gay people
1. US national polls more say yes to allowing homosexuals to serve in
military and for gay teachers to teach in schools
15. Harvey Milk (box)
1. First openly gay man to be elected in city government in US
2. San Frans first gay rights ordinances, part of gay rights movement
3. Shot dead by anti gay city supervisor
2. Gay rights are a global issue
1. US has been leader in gay peoples political struggle
2. Europe has social tolerance to allow gay citizens to sidestep some of inequities
Americans have experienced
1. Ex. same sex between men in France has been legal for a long time
2. Religious has less of a role in Europe
3. Full legal rights of married in Europe
4. Gay discrimination and gay bashing are less in Europe than US
5. Canada is more accepting of gays than US
3. Most countries ban homosexual behavior
1. Iran and Islamic countries
2. Police harassment of gays is common
3. Killings of gays have happened in Central American and South America
4. Trying to fight for gay rights and prevent violence against gays in Africa
4. Gay Marriage in America (box)
1. Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York
2. Legalization of gay marriage
3. Increasing in numbers of people favoring it
4. Canadian provinces legalized gay marriage
21
Growing up gay presents Challenges
1. Pre-gay childs position on gender continuum affects their growing up process
2. Gender non-conformist kids out themselves before they even enter school
3. Parents may do what they can to prevent child to prevent it such as punishment or
therapy
4. A feminine boy may be treated differently especially by father, tomboy girls are less
predictable and can thrive
5. Preadolescent years age 8-13 can be excluded or verbally abused, physically harassed
6. Gay adolescents who are more conventional in gender characteristics may suffer less and
take on activities to mask problematic sexuality, but will suffer internally
7. Some are rejected by parents, tormented, run away from home, become prostitutes,
suicide and bullying
8. But for some it can be a positive experience
1. Role models
2. Efforts of teachers to confront anti-gay attitudes and bullying
3. Support organizations
4. Parents to accept and love them
5. Reduction of prevalence of mental health problems among gay people
9. Gay youths are no more likely to commit suicide than non gay peers
10. Coming out is a lifelong process
1. We are born into a predominantly straight culture
2. Process of coming out:
1. Coming out to oneself hardest step especially for those growing up in
culture where it is socially unacceptable, denial, may engage in homosexual
behavior for years without considering their sexuality
2. Coming out to others gradual process, parents find out later than friends,
sibling, counselor, fear parental rejection
3. Joining a gay or lesbian community moving to a gay friendly city or
community where you are, gay meccas, online
4. Integrating the gay side of their identity with other aspects of who they are
go back to roots, want to try bridging social capital
11. Gay Meccas: West Hollywood and Northampton
1. LA is main
2. Gay pride, Boystown, gay neighborhood, gay night life, gay sex clubs
3. Alcohol, drug use and STD are big problems in West Hollywood, highest infections
of HIV
4. Lesbians represented in Northampton and blend in with heterosexual and bi
women
12. Lesbians and gay men are well represented in certain occupations
1. Small fraction of lesbians are represented in professional sports, but the
occupation is over represented
2. Gay men are successful in creative arts
3. One half or more of the men in this field are gay
4. Gay men are over represented in personal service or caring like nurses, teachers,
flight attendants, waiters, hairstyling, floristry and interior design
Gay People who belong in Minorities have special concerns
1. Experience of being gay can be different for members of minorities
2. Now a number of minority public figures are openly gay
22
3. Minority gay people have to deal with cultural traditions that make heterosexual marriage
into a near sacred obligation or that place taboo on the discussion of sexual topics in
general, especially for women
4. Can be a cost
5. Immigrant families may think that homosexuality is a sign they are losing their child to an
alien culture
6. Voguing balls contests in dance, drag and realness among the community
Gay Sex has its own Style
1. Most sexual behaviors practiced are same as male-female couples
2. Female couples: kissing, fondling, oral, manual stimulation, body to body rubbing
involving vulva (tribadism), cunnilingus, rimming (analingus), stimulation of clitoris,
penetration of vagina with sex toy or finger, sex play like BDSM
3. Male couples: kissing, fondling, nipple stimulation, body to body rubbing involving penis,
fellatio, anal, intercrural between the thigh intercourse, BDSM
4. Many are unidirectional or reciprocal
5. Gay men and women focus much more on stimulation before genitals
6. Gay men may prolong sexual pleasure and put off orgasm
7. Gay men can have sex in groups and public places
1. May do it in public places because dont want parents to know if they live with
them
2. Thrill seeking
3. Can have sex with many partners in a short time
8. Bathhouses gay bathhouses are facilities in which large number of men engage in sex in
a semi public place, can have pool but action is in corridors, cubicles and steam rooms
1. Closed down in early AIDS epidemic
2. Many still operate with regulations
9. Many men participate in ordinary monogamous relationships same as heterosexuals
10. There is diversity within the gay community
1. Gay people can be divided into subtypes on basis of gender characteristics
2. Gay couples consist of one gender conformist and one gender variant partner
3. Lesbians can be butch or femme
1. Relationships, social roles and sexual behaviors follow this identity
4. Gay men can be tops or bottoms
5. Mimic heterosexual relationships, but people are versatile and can take any role
6. Gay subcultures
1. BDSM cultures and leather community
1. Accepted in gay community more than heterosexual world
2. Bears big bearded man with body hair and beer gut, a rejection of the
necessity to conform to the pretty boy or muscle boy images so popular
elsewhere in the gay world,
1. Bears generally pair up with other bears or older bears may pair up
with bear cubs
7. Lesbians dont have prominent subcultures but engage in BDSM community and
have social subcultures
11. Some gay people are parents
1. 33% of households of female couples had at least 1 child and 22% of male couples
did too
2. Producing and rearing children as gay couples or even single gay people
23
3. Can use artificial insemination, male donors, surrogate mother, IVF, adoption
4. Ultimate wish of gay people would be to be true genetic parents of their kids
5. It may be possible to create human embryos with two genetic parents of the same
sex that has been done with mice in Japan
6. Gay parenting, co-parenting and adoption is legal
7. Adoption from other counties is more difficult because these countries forbid
adoption by gay people
12. The children of gay parents generally thrive
1. Many children are produced in heterosexual union prior to their gay parents
coming out so these kids have to deal with separation
2. Can have long term and short term negative effects
3. Kids who are produced or adopted by gay couples want to be loved and gay
couples do not have kids by accident, and do not have to cope with marital break
up
4. Make sure there is a role model of both sexes
5. Children of gay parents do not differ much from children of heterosexual parents
on mental health, social adjustment or quality of relationships with parents
6. May get bullied but shows no long term harm, but are less homophonic, more
accepting of social diversity and empathetic with other social groups
Changing Ones Sexual Orientation is Difficult or Impossible
1. Small number of therapy in business, prayer based conversion, and organizations of ex
gays attest that changing ones sexual orientation is possible
2. No evidence that these treatments of conversion are possible, and that these attempts may
even be harmful to persons who undergo them (depression and suicide)
Homophobia has multiple roots
3. There are people who believe that homosexual behavior is morally wrong
1. Gay bashers hate crimes against gays
2. Implicit association tests reveals unconscious or unstated preferences
1. Shows that most people have an automatic preference for straight people
over gay people
2. Study:
1. Researcher lead heterosexual men to believe that a coworker was
gay, caused them to psychologically distance themselves from
coworker regardless if they were prejudice against gay or not
3. Homophobia fear of homosexuality or gay people
4. Cultural indoctrination transmits homophobia across generations
1. Some people learn to dislike homosexuality and gays from anti gay messages from
others
2. The learning process is important: kids of gay parents are more tolerant
3. Many religious associations are against but there are many that are supporters
1. Those who worship weekly believe it is wrong much more than those who
do seldom or never worship
4. People who think that being gay is a choice are more likely to have anti-gay
attitudes than those who think it is a trait
5. Failure to empathize
6. Homophobic attitudes are more towards gay males than lesbians
5. Gays are seen as rule breakers
1. Sense that gay people break natural order of thinks
24
2. Femiphobia prejudice against femininity in males, earliest experience of anti gay
prejudice that many pre gay children experience
1. Directed against males who act like females
2. Even some gay men are femiphobic who devalue other gay men who seem
feminine
3. Possible that homophobia is a defense mechanism that helps people control, hide
or mask their own homosexual urges
1. Study:
1. Recruited 2 groups of self described as exclusively heterosexual men
(high vs. low scores on index of homophobic attitudes)
2. Showed them female-female, male-male, and male-female sex tapes
and measure penile erection
3. All men said that lesbian and heterosexual aroused them, but
measurement of penile erection showed that gay male tapes aroused
homophobic men but not nonhomophobic men
4. Strongly homophobic attitudes are associated with homosexual
feelings that the person is unaware of or in denial of
4. Maybe gay bashers are secretly homosexual but many motivations for violence
against homosexuals may have nothing to do with sexuality
6. Overcoming homophobia is a grassroots enterprise
1. Reduction of homophobia can be done through legislation and public policy
measures
2. Mostly influenced by interactions with family, friends, and other workers they have
associations with
Bisexuals are caught between two worlds
1. Prevalence of bisexuality depends on definitions
1. Majority of bi are attracted to other sex than same sex
2. If it is defined as roughly equal attraction to two sexes, then it is less common
especially in men
3. Bisexuality in men? In terms of genital arousal?
1. Studies by Bailey:
1. Sexual orientation by measuring mens penile tumescence while
viewing erotic photographs of men and women
2. Never found a man who was aroused by both men and women
3. Showed videos to bisexual men but found that they were more
aroused to one sex (usually men) than other
4. Found men who were bisexual and had at least 2 sexual relationships
with men and women and romantic relationships lasting at least 3
months with both man and woman
1. Showed greatest arousal one sex than to other but arousal
patterns were less biased toward on sex than were the
arousal patterns shown by group of gay or straight men
2. It is possible to identify a distinctly bisexual pattern of
arousal, but it requires a stringent bisexual identity and sex
history
4. Bisexual can be used sometimes as self identifier for men who are on their way to
a gay identity, could be a transitional phase
25
5. There are authentic bisexual men but are outnumbered by other men who see
them as bisexual for a short time
6. Bisexuality in women
1. Most heterosexual women show arousal to erotic videos of men or women
2. Only bisexual or lesbian women show category specific arousal such by
aroused by female erotic videos more than male videos
3. There is no straight forward connection between patterns of physiological
arousal and verbally stated sexual attraction
4. Many men can figure out sexual orientation by monitoring genitals
5. Study:
1. Followed 80 young women over years
2. Lesbian, bi or unlabelled sexuality
3. Over time many changed self descriptions, but no overall trend
4. Adopted identities that matched their current relationship patterns
5. Suggest that not only that womens sexual orientation is more fluid
than mens but there is little distinction between different kinds of
non-heterosexual women when womens lives are viewed over a
long term
7. Bisexuals may not be attracted to men and women the same way such as emotional
attraction to one and physical to the other, strength can change over time too
2. Bisexuals face prejudice
1. Important part of coming out is letting go of the idea that they must be gay or
straight
2. Biphobia people who are prejudice against bisexuals
3. Negative attitude towards bi people are more widespread than are anti gay
attitudes
4. Gay, straight, or lying
5. Harmful stereotype is that they need to express sexual attraction to both sexes, so
are not able to be in monogamous relationships (promiscuous), but they do have
relationships with either sex and mostly with opposite sex partner
6. Say that they are oversexed or responsible for spreading AIDS
1. 2/3
rd
of college students say that they have no bi friends and they had more
negative attitudes towards bisexuals than other students
7. Negative views are changing though, among well educated
8. People are more open to sexual experimentation nowadays
9. Lagging behind gay and lesbians in developing a community identity but have
communities and organizations forming, it is in a state of evolution

Chapter 13: Atypical Sexuality
Sexual Variety is the Spice of Life
Most fetishisms are related to the body
o Particular body parts carry a special erotic charge
o Fetish sexual arousal by inanimate objects, materials, or parts of body
More men than women have fetishes
Most common fetish is associated with body part
Partialism fetish attraction to specific part of body, arousing stimulus can
be something worn on body or feature of body like obesity
Feet and shoes are common
26
o Freud suggests feet are symbolism of penis
o Give allure when hidden from view inside shoes/stockings
Hands are rarely fetishisms
Other common body fetishism are body fluids, urine, body
modifications
Media or material fetishism desire directed toward materials like
leather or rubber, arousing regardless of specific object into which they are
fashioned, most arousing when worn on body
Acrotomphophilia sexual interest in amputees or amputation stumps
Apotemnophilia sexual interest in having an amputation, usually men
May be men who seek to have amputation for non sexual reasons
Devotees or wanabes
o Object fetishism or objectophilia sexual arousal by inanimate objects
Less common
Represent sexualization of mundane interests
Many women represented, some having preexisting psychiatric conditions
like PTSD or Asperger syndrome
Fetish related videos comprise 25% or more of the output of some large
adult video companies
o How is it expressed?
Incorporate fetish into sexual foreplay with partner, watch videos of fetish
Fetishist is a person whose interest clearly cross the line to a mental
disorder, but can also be someone without mental disorder (the latter is
used now)
Internet has played big role in normalizing fetishism and bolstering self
acceptance and communication
o Objects associated with body (like shoes) and body features or parts (like feet) are
most common fetishism
Rubber fetishism and Internet (box)
o Many more true male ruberrists
o Plenty of gay rubber sites and life is easier for them because they can find partners
without much trouble
o Hard to find a spouse if they are not into it, there is compromise
o Many rubberists are into BDSM
o Sense of encasement, total enclosure by covering every inch of you body with
rubber
o Sense of tightness and being shielded from the world like return to the womb
that is warm, moist and enclosing
People cross-dress for a variety of reasons
o Cross dressing wearing the clothing of the other sex, for any of a variety of
reasons
o Practical reasons:
Non sexual reasons for cross dressing
Women may do it to obtain male employment or male privileges
Some male attire has become unisex like jeans
o Doing drag:
27
Dressing as opposite sex for entertainment reasons or to mock stereotypical
gender expectations or fashion norms
Over the top make up and clothing
Not all drags are gay men
Drag wearing of exaggerated feminine clothing by man often for
entertainment reasons
Drag queens drags who are not gay men
o Transgender cross-dressing:
Expression of gender identity
Transsexuals want to pass as other sex, not make fun of it
Not for erotic arousal reasons
o Transvestic fetishism:
Tranvestic fetishism or transvestism - Heterosexuals, mostly men, who
wear clothes appropriate to the other sex because they find it sexually
arousing
Not rare, 2.8% of men and 0.4% of women in Sweden had engaged in at
least one episode
Many keep cross dressing as a secret because fear ridicule or rejection by
partner, while some find it exciting to do it publicly
Some heterosexual transvestites are married, but keep it a secret or if wife
finds out they a disturbed/deal with it
Continuum of traits in which heterosexual mens sexual desires move from
usual target of women to representations of women that can be
progressively internalized
Stages:
o Regular fetishism womans identity is represented by object
that can eb owned and controlled by man
o Tranvestic fetishism clothing that respresents woman is put
on, rather than viewed or handled, that can move into fantasy
of being a woman
o Autogynephilia a form of male to female transexuality
characterized by a mans sexual arousal at the thought of
being or becoming a woman
Most fetishists do not progress through all these stages, but those
who are autogynephilic do usually have history of all
Some cross dressers may lose erotic significance over time and
become a matter of gender expression rather than sexual expression
Some men are aroused by transgenders
o Gynandromorphophilia attraction to men with the appearance of women
Some men with attraction to transgenders/transsexual who look feminine
but have male genitals
o Transfans or Tranny chasers
o Large number of she male websites that cater to this interest and street walkers
Sadomasochism involves infliction or recipient of pain or degration
o Sadist sexually aroused by inflicting pain or humiliation on others or by
witnessing the recipients suffering
o Masochism aroused by experiencing pain or humiliation themselves
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o Sadomasochism S/M the infliction and acceptance of pain or humiliation as a
means of sexual arousal, often coexist in same person or involve reciprocal
interactions between sadist and masochist
o Ex. Spanding, paddling, whipping, pericing, cutting, branding, nipple clamping, cock
and ball torture
o To inflict psychological torture
Such as through bondage use of physical restraint for purposes of sexual
arousal
Verbal abuse or enslavement
Dominance humiliation or subservience for purposes of sexual arousal
o Forced submission is key erotic element
o Usually includes fetishistic elements like leather, chains, etc
o BDSM inclusive term for forms of sexual expression involving inflicting and
receiving physical pain, restraint, humiliation (Bondage, dominance and
submission and sadism/masochism)
Degrees of intensity
Can range from spanking or biting for sexual arousal to a fashion statement
or cultural identity
May take time pursuing BDSM interests through sex clubs or internet
Sometimes erections, ejaculation or orgasm only play a minor role
Tops and doms or bottoms or subs
Both tops and bottoms are more likely to be males than females
Good tops are in short supply and more sought after
Flourishing gay BDSM subculture
Finding female tops can be more difficult
Dominatrix woman who inflicts pain or humiliation in BDSM
setting
BDSM communities where gay and straight men and women mingle
Consent is very important, partners negotiate scene before and set limits for
behavior, check with bottom that they are OK, safe words or nonverbal
signals to tell top to stop
After scene, they share period of cuddling, intimacy or conventional sex and
can review that has happened
Communications like this are very important in male-male BDSM scenes,
that are usually heavier interactions with greater risk of injury than female-
female or female male scenes
Edge play to challenge bottoms tolerance or that approach the boundaries
of safety or
Power, trust and dependency exists between top and bottom, high intimacy
Adult babies reenact infancy
o Infantilism but most men who have it do not consider it an illness
o Adult babies adult who gets sexually aroused from acting as a baby
o Wear diapers or toddler clothes, sit in baby chairs, sleep in crib
o BDSM elements sometimes, where man plays role in which returning to babyhood
is a punishment to which he is forced to submit
o Adult babies are not interested in sexual contact with actual babies
o Diaper lover may masturbate while wearing it or wetting or soil it, may wear
under normal clothes
29
o Normalized in internet
o Can even hire a babysitter that will play role for a fee
Paraphilia is the Term for Problematic Sexual desire or Behavior
Paraphilias unusual form of sexual arousal or behavior that is considered to be a
psychological problem
o No object boundary between normal and abnormal sexual feelings and behaviors
o DSM-5
8 categories of paraphilias: 1) Sexual masochism disorder, 2) sexual sadism
disorder, 3) transvestic disorder, 4) exhibitionistic disorder, 5) voyeurism
disorder, 6) frotteurism disorder, 7) pedohebephilic disorder, 8) paraphilc
disorder not otherwise specified
Considering adding paraphilic coercive disorder
o Must be long term in nature and must cause significant distress to person who
experiences them and/or they must harm other people
o Ex. Sexual sadism disorder
1. Over a period of at least 6 months, person experiences recurrent and
intense sexual arousal from physical or psychological suffering of another
person, as manifested by fantasies, urges or behaviors
2. Person has clinically significant distress or impairment in important areas
of functioning, or has sought sexual stimulation from behaviors involving
the physical or psychological suffering of two or more nonconsenting
persons on separate occasions
o Generalizations:
Often extensions or exaggerations of common sexual desires and behaviors
More men develop them than women
Begin at early age, usually around puberty or adolescence and become
pronounced over time
People who start out with one kind of paraphilia may eventually exhibit
multiple forms; 54% report experiencing more than one paraphilia, 18%
report 4 or more
Personality traits common among paraphilias: lack of social skills, especially
dealing with women, sense of inadequate equacy, depression, sometimes
rage against women
Commonly have cognitive distortions
Exhibitionists expose themselves to nonconsenting persons
o Exhibitionism paraphilia involving exposure of genitalia to strangers, sometimes
with masturbation, flashing
Station somewhere where women are present but little danger of him being
arrested or identified, reveals his genitals when woman comes by and
imagines having sexual intercourse with women, may masturbate and
ejaculate or run away then masturbate later
o Indecent exposure crime of exposing the genitals or female breasts in public, in
legal terms, exposing genitals other than for sexual arousal, it is a misdemeanor not
a felony
o Exhibitionism is defined behavioral not as sexual preference, they are no more
excited by exposing self than by other forms of sexual expression
30
Misinterprets victims reaction as reciprocation of his sexual interest
cognitive distortion
Women should stay calm and walk away when encountering this
o It is common, 1/3 of sex crimes reported to police even those most victims do not
file reports
Average over 500 cases
Half of all adult women have been victim at least once and more than half
were first victims before age 16
o It is a serious matter:
1. Many victims are traumatized
2. Some victims are children
3. Exhibitionists are more likely to reoffend than are other sex offenders, more
than 1/3 are more serious sexual crimes
Voyeurs are aroused by watching others
o Voyeurism paraphilia involving spying on persons while they are undressing,
naked or engaged in sex or even urinating or defecating
o Peepers do this through discreet manner, they may masturbate while watching but
usually safe from being caught
o Can use mirriors or phone cameras to peer under clothing or look through
peepholes
o May even go into homes to watch victim sleep
o The risk of being discovered may add to the excitement
o Very common, especially among men
o Extension of normal male sexuality which includes a strong visual component
o Now are misdemeanors
Frotteurism involves surreptitious physical contact
o Frotteurism obtaining sexual arousal from physical contact with others, usually
women, in public places without their consent and without their knowledge usually
o Groper seeks out women that are crowded and physical contact is unnoticed
o Rub erect penis or hand, leg, or object against womans thighs, butt, vulva or
breasts
o He may ejaculate during this
o Other frotteurs may expose themselves and ejaculate directly onto victims clothing
o Extension of normal sexuality
o 1/3 of young men say they have committed at least one act like frotteurism
Frotteurism on Public Transit (box)
o At least 1/3 of college women say they have been groped and often unable to
respond effectively
o Victims are usually unaware and distressed but did nothing
o Sometimes women only discover after leaving vehicle that their clothes have been
soiled by mans ejaculation
Some adults are sexually aroused by Children
Pedophilia and child molestation and not synonymous
o Pedophile person whose sexual feelings are directed mainly towards
prepubescent children (under 11)
Usually man
Sexual arousal must be greater than or equal to his arousal from adults
31
A person who does experience some arousal from kids but less than he does
from adults is not to be diagnosed as having pedophila
Some molest children, but some do not, because they know it is wrong or
are scared of consequences or can get sexual gratification from older
partners or from fantasies
Generally become aware of sexual attraction in early adolescence, 12-14
when nonpedophilic men become aware of sexual attraction to women/men
So attraction remains unchanged over life span
Pedophilia is like an orientation, so may be difficult to change
o Child molester an adult who has had sexual contact with a prepubescent child
Legal definition
Some child molesters are pedophiles, others molest kids for other reasons
such as lack of available older partners or to hurt parents, alcohol/drugs,
neurological damage
Majority of the convictions are for nonpenetractive acts like toughing childs
genitals or butt
o Hebephile adult whose sexual attraction is directed mainly to pubescent
children (11-14 years, going through puberty)
Do not fit definition of pedophiles
Should be a new diagnostic category?
o Intrafamilial child molesters or incest offenders having sexual contact with his
own children or stepchildren
Show more arousal to images of children than do men who have no history
of this
o Extrafamilial child molestster interaction with children outside his immediate
family
More likely to engage in penetrative sex with victims, to injure them, to
molest boys, to repeat offenses and to be exclusively pedophiles as
compared to men who molest own kids
o Female pedophiles and child molesters are uncommon, but exist
Generally have psychiatric disturbances, or the pubescent boys do not see it
as being victimized
Should hebephilia be a paraphilia? (box)
o A man who is sexually attracted towards 13-14 year old boys/girls would seem as
a pedophile but may not meet psychiatric definitions
o Blanchard proposed new diagnostic category named hebephilia
o Pedohebephilia sexual attraction to prepubescent and or pubescent children
Pedophilic subtype
Hebephilic subtype
Men who show greater arousal to images of pubescent kids than to
prepubescent or postpubescent
Pedohebephilic subtype (last 3 refer to adults who are equally aroused by
pre and pubescent kids)
o Having these urges is not sufficient for a diagnosis of a mental disorder, but acting
on them is a serious crime
o Civil commitment detention of a person having a mental disorder that creates a
threat to himself or others, happens to many pedophiles who have offended
o Should hebephilia proposal be accepted or rejected?
32
Attraction may be to girls, boys or both
o Heterosexual pedophiles predominante; out number number of homosexual
pedophiles by 2:1 or 3:1
o Homosexual pedophiles are not the same thing as regular gay men, any more than
heterosexual pedophiles are the same as regular straight men
o Pedophiles do not distinguish between males and females as sharply as do most
adult men
Seen in their physiological responses to nude images of boy and girls
Prepubescent girls and boys look more similar than adult men and women
o Differences between homosexual and heterosexual pedophiles
Homosexual pedophiles are more likely than heterosexual pedophiles to
have had sexual contact with multiple kids and are more likely to have had
contact with kids who were strangers to them or only slightly acquainted
with them
Also more likely to reoffend after conviction and more emotionally
disturbed and lower levels of intellectual function
It is uncertain whether pedophiles have distinctive personalities
o Suggest that pedophiles have bad social skills, lack empathy, lack self esteem or self
assertion, lonely and psychologically distressed, experience cognitive distortions,
emotionally disturbed, disordered thought processes similar to schizophrenia
o Suffer from various paraphilias like exhibitionism and voyeurism
o Studies of them are based entirely on men who have been arrested for child
molestation which means characteristics of noncriminal pedophiles are unknown
o Pedophilia is exaggeration of a sexual interest that exists widely in male population
o Findings:
Normal men are sexually aroused by children demonstrated in lab studies
Arousal is generally greatest in response to older children and children of
the same sex as the adults who the subjects find arousing
Girls in heterosexual men and boys in homosexual men
Findings:
Survey 1 in 5 responded that he was sexually attracted to some
small children
Male students sexual interest in children:
o 21% experienced sexual attraction to some children
o 9% had sexual fantasies involving children
o 5% masturbate to fantasies involving children
o 7% might have sex with a kid if they could avoid detection
o Over last 10 years, priests been found to be sexually molesting children
Perhaps because they cant marry could be a factor contributing to this
Maybe they want to avoid marriage because they are not attracted to adult
women or more likely to abuse children
Some organizations support minor attracted people
o Men who are sexually attracted to underage youths risk arrest and prison if they
attempt to satisfy the attraction with physical contact but if they dont they live
lonely and stressful lives
o 45% of these men in a survey said they contemplated suicide
o B4U-ACT is an organization that supports these men
Minor attracted people
33
Mental health professional with no judgment who help
Promotes mental health services, public understanding and mutual support
for minor attracted people
Helps them live life within the law
o North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA)
Advocates the abolition of all age of consent laws
Argues that at least some boys are capable of giving consent to sex and that
man-boy sexual relationships that are in consent are beneficial to younger
partners
Early days present itself with gay liberation movement
Recently started to disappear
o Note age of legal consent varies (Canada 16-18 in 2008)
A Variety of Other Paraphilias Exist (DSM-5)
Obscene telephone calling is related to exhibitionism
o Telephone sabotage sexual arousal from making obscene telephone calls
o May have sexual content but are not made for purposes of sexual arousal, or cover
phone sex
o Perpetrator, usually man, calls known/unknown victim usually woman, and makes
sexual suggestions or utter obscenities or boasts about sexual organs or make
threats in attempt to coerce recipient into sexual act or event pose as sex
researcher to ask intimate sexual questions
o Sexually aroused by reaction of woman he is exposing himself auditory
Zoophiles are sexually attracted to animals
o Bestiality sexual contact between a person and an animal
o Not rare
o 3.6% of women and 8% of men stated they had at least one sexual contact with an
animal after adolescence
Number rises with people who live on farms, and may even lead to orgasm
Man may penetrate animal vaginally or anally or induce animal to fellate
him or penetrate him anally
o Zoophilia persistent preference for sexual contacts with animals, considered as
paraphilia
o Findings:
2/3
rd
of zoophiles state they would rather have sex with animal than human
One case study, man was found to be sexually aroused more strongly by
horses than by any other species
People assert that zoophilia is a matter of romantic intimacy and not merely
physical gratification
In necrophilia, nonresistance of the partner may be arousing
o Necrophilia sexual arousal from viewing or having contact with dead bodies
o Rare, less than 200 cases
o May view or touch dead body while masturbating or actually penetrate it
o Lack of resistance or rejection by dead person that is key motivator
o Some men are turned on when living sex partner play dead
o Some men have committed murder to satisfy their necrophilia interests
Sexual violence can be paraphilic
34
o If person has a persistent and distressing fixation on sexual violence, or commits
acts of nonconsensual sexual violence because the violence itself is sexually
arousing, the person is probably diagnosable as having a paraphilia
May be listed as coercive disorder in DSM-5
o Paraphilic sexual killers have complex mental disorder such as brain damage,
psychosis, childhood abuse
These plans are carefully planned or days of torture before victim is killed
Often recorded on tapes or diaries
o Many cases of sexual serial killers
o Cases of eating the remains of sex murder victims (ex. Jeff Dahmer)
Ultimate in the internalization of the desired love object
o Some masochists inflict pain or suffering on self without partner called autoerotic
asphyxia self strangulation for purposes of sexual arousal
Autoerotic Asphyxis (box)
o Do this to incrase intensity of orgasm by constricting the flow of blood to brain
during masturbation
o Mainly males
o Tighten belt around neck or suspend self with noose
o Same experience with use of nitrite inhalers or poppers
o Loss of consciousness occurs just 10 seconds after complete strangulation if
person passes out before he has time to release the grip then death
o Linked with paraphilic elements like bondage, punishment, and execution by
hanging
o Evidence of cloth between ligature and neck to prevent rope burns show that it is
not for suicide
o Choking game
o Seek psychotherapeutic help
Sex offenders do not necessarily repeat their Offenses
Perception that sex offenders are monsters lead to harsh measures against convicted sex
offenders like long prison sentences, detainment after completion of sentences, drug
treatments
Megans Law police are requires to notify public when a registered sex offender moves
into a neighborhood
Some do repeat their offenses but as a group they are less likely to repeat offenses than
are people convicted of other crimes
68% of prisoners are rearrested, 43% of released sex offenders are rearrested, 5% for a
sex crime
Recidivism tendency of convicted offenders to reoffend
o Fostered by distortions by media and provide inaccurate information about them
Factors that predict increase likelihood of recidivism:
o Antisocial tendencies
o Measures of atypical sexual interests
o Person who has already committed more than one offense or whose prior offense
involves violence has more chance of offending again

There are Numerous Theories of Paraphilia

35
Biological factors may predispose to paraphilia
o To an extent, they run in families
o Findings:
18% of paraphliacs had first degree relatives who were also paraphliacs
A tendency to develop paraphilia could be inherited, but shared social or
environmental factors could be also cuase of family clustering
Parts of the frontal lobes of the cerebral cortex were smaller in pedophiles
than in nonpedphiles
Deficiencies in certain fiber tracts of brain in cluding a major tract
connecting the frontal lobes with other brain regions
Suggest that pedophilia results from a disconnection between brain
regions that mediate self control and sexual expression
Diffuse damage to cerebral cortex like in Alzheimers disease can also lead
to paraphilic behaviors by removing inhibitions that normally restrain the
behavior
Paraphilias may result from learning processes
o Conditioning modification of behavior through association and or behavior
Genital arousal to sexually relevant stimuli increased after the stimulus was
repeatedly paired with stronger sexual stimulus
Such as photograph of partially clad woman + a video of heterosexual sex or
vibratory stimulus applied to genital
o Conditioning can account for fetishisms and paraphilias:
Hard to tell if early experience triggered development of the fetish or if it
was the first manifestation of fetish derived from different cause
o Findings:
Study:
Normal male volunteers repeatedly shown images of penny bank +
erotically arousing image
After 3 weeks of exposure, pairings developed penile arousal
responses to penny bank alone in the men
Study:
Observed genital arousal in women who were shown an inherently
nonsexual and non-emotional stimulus then paired with vibratory
stimulation of womans clitoris
Study:
Women became genitally aroused by nonsexual but emotionally
image such as a gun pointing at viewer after repeated pairing with
erotic video
Limits to these studies is that adult sexuality is more set than adolescence
Initial conditioning may be weak but strength of conditioning increases as
person uses fetish object or fantasizes about it during repeated pairs
o Male teens masturbate more than females, so more opportunity for them to
develop paraphilic disorders to be associated with sexual excitement
Some paraphilias may represent disorders of courtship
o Paraphilias can develop when natural elements of male sexuality are torn out of
their normal psychological environment, exaggerated and allowed free expression
without inhibitions
36
o Courtship disorder paraphilia or cluster of them seen as a disorder of normal
courtship behavior
o Normal process a man acquires sexual partner:
1. Location and evaluation of potential sex partner
2. Intial nontactile interactions
3. Tactile interactions
4. Gential sex
o Paraphilic counter part of those stages:
1. Voyeurism
2. Exhibitionism and obscene telephone sabotage
3. Frotteurism
4. Paraphilic rape
o Higher organizing principle that usually ties the elements of male courtship
together have been lose, state of psychic disorder that expresses it inappropriately
Paraphilias may represent a sexual escape route
o Caused by blockage of normal avenues of sexual expression
o Might turn to atypical ones if cant explore typical sexual relations
o Personality traits such as lack of social skills might lead to explore atypical
activities
o But not all men are paraphiliacs if they dont have social skills with females
o The possibility the social factor and negative psychological traits result from
paraphilia rather than cause it
Paraphilias may be facilitated by other psychological traits
o Hypersexuality excessive sexual desire or behavior
Compulsive masturbation and devotion of great deal of time to sexual
fantasy, porn, and pursuit of sexual partners
o Many paraphiliac men are hypersexual and that is a driving force
o OCD, ADHD, impulsivity, alcohol and drug dependency, mood disorders, and
personality disorders may promote expression of paraphilic behaviors
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) mental disorder marked by
anxiety, repetitive thoughts, urges and behaviors that temporally relieve
those urges
A cycle of abuse may contribute to Paraphilias
o Cycle of abuse idea that some abused kids grow up to repeat similar forms of
abuse on others aka victim-perpetrator cycle or abused-abuser hypothesis
o Most victims of childhood abuse do not become abusers
o But abusers are more likely to have more history with childhood victimization than
other men
o Correlation is strong between childhood sexual abuse and adult pedophilia
The more severe the childhood sexual abuse, more chance the person will
commit sexual offenses later on
o Correlation does not imply causation
Theories of Causation have suggested a Variety of Treatments
Most paraphiliacs do not seek treatment, are either forced by other people, or have to for
sentencing or parole
o May try and trick treatment so that they can be released
37
o Clinician tries to find out information about offenses and range of sexual desires,
history, psychological issues that may be present too, testing with penile
plethysmography
Conditioning is intended to change sexual desires
o Behavior therapy treatment of paraphilias or other disorders based on
conditioning or other theories of behavioral psychology, aka behavior modification
Aversion therapy form of behavior therapy that attempts to eliminate
unwanted desires or behaviors by associating them with some unpleasant
experience
Person is required to generate own unpleasant stimuli by imagining
Masturbatory reconditioning uses pleasure of orgasm to increase sexual
arousal to previously nonarousing targets
Such as man who is sexually aroused by prepubescent girls is
instructed to masturbate to fantasies of girls then switch to focus on
adult women as he is about to orgasm to create positively
conditioned by association
Over time man will lose paraphilic interest and develop sexual
arousal to acceptable targets
Psychotherapy is aimed at preventing repeat offenses
o Cognitive therapy changing persons beliefs and thought processes
Correct disordered thinking the man uses to justify or rationalize his
behaviors
Realize that behavior is harmful and will attempt to provide empathy
towards victims empathy training
Remove blockages to normal sexual expression by strengthening social
skills, self-esteem, assertiveness, desire for intimacy or practice how to
interact with women
Relapse prevention therapy offender is trained in how to identify
situations that may trigger a repeat offense and how to avoid/cope with
them (thought stopping)
o Peer interaction is important therapy too so many of these are conducted in small
groups
Efficacy of psychological treatments is doubtful
o Little evidence showing that these treatments work
o Study with SOTEP:
Sex offenders randomly assigned to be treated with state of the art
intervention program that focused on relapse prevention therapy or no
treatment
Treated for many years
Findings:
Offenders who participated in the program were no less likely to
reoffend than were offenders who dropped out of the program or
who never did it
Also outcomes of recent studies are no better than those published
years ago
o New approach: Good Lives Model focus on helping person implement a
meaningful good life plan while living in the community
38
Skills and knowledge that help him to attain primary human goods
Circles of Support and Accountability (COSA) group of community
pledges to help a sex offender follow the principles of the Good Lives model
after release from prison
This in Canada has reduced sexual reoffending as much as 83%
Drug Treatments interact with neurotransmitters or hormones
o Either alone or in conjunction with other treatments
o Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Prozac and anti-
depressants
Effect serotonin and dopamine
Lower persons interest in sex
Down side to treating depression, but helpful for paraphiliacs
Relieve OCD conditions
Efficacy has not been documented in controlled trials
o Interfere with production or action of testosterone; principle of hormonal driver of
male sexuality
Depo-Provera synthetic, injectable progestin used as LT contraceptive in
women
Depresses secretion of GnRH by hypothalamus that declines
testosterone levels and reduction in sexual desires and behaviors
Lupron does similar actions
Cyproterone acetate blocks testosterone receptors
o These drugs do not cure paraphilias, they decrease sexual desire and arousal but
are effective in eliminating criminal sexual behavior
Castration is treatment of last resort
o Removal of testicles removes the mans main source of androgens and testosterone
o Rapid drop in circulating androgen levels and decline in sexual desires and
behaviors
o May be more effective than other treatments for prevention of sexual recidivism
Castrated sex offenders who were at high risk of reoffending only 1-7% did
o ATSA (Association for Treatment of Sexual Abusers) is against this, because some
castrated men still retain sexual desire and behaviors
o Can also get testosterone illegally
o There is voluntary option for this in some states so they do not have to spend life in
jail
Castration: Barbaric punishment or ticket to freedom? (box)

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