Latest version of the Tortoise and the Hare:

Wily veteran Bruce Brown easily defeats young, brash Chevy ORourke in impromptu Warkworth Bike Challenge
WARKWORTH Maybe next ORourke was terribly dehydrattime, Evan Chevy ORourke ed (he forgot to bring some wawont be so quick to challenge ter). So he headed into the golf Bruce Brown to a bike race. course clubhouse and ordered a Mr. ORourke learned the cold beer, downed it in about five hard way that Mr. Brown may seconds then ordered another. be a little older, but he can still And another. hold his own when it comes to After 20 minutes, Mr. ORourke long-distance bike-riding. knew hed better get back on his After all, Mr. Brown has cerbike and attempt to finish the tainly had lots of practice at it race. The beer wasnt making over the years. him feel any better. In fact, he The younger, cockier Mr. was feeling nauseated. And to ORourke sent out an imprompmake matters worse, as he tu bike challenge to Mr. Brown peered down the road, he could last Sunday afternoon while see Mr. Brown in the distance. sitting on the front lawn of the The once insurmountable lead Church St. home of friends was quickly evaporating. Lauren Nelson and Brad Wilson. As they passed each other, Mr. Mr. Brown was out riding his Brown waved at Mr. ORourke bike on a sunny spring afterand said, Are you OK, Evan? You noon and minding his own busidont look very good. You dont ness when Mr. ORourke look good at all, Evan. spotted him and yelled, Hey, By the time he approached Bruce I could kick your ass in a Doug Harpurs, Mr. ORourkes bike race any day. legs felt like wet noodles. He Mr. Brown laughed at Mr. could barely pedal anymore. He ORourkes brash comment and was shaking, his head was then calmly replied, Ill race pounding and he was beginning you to the Warkworth Golf Course ON YOUR MARK, GET SET : Evan Chevy ORourke (left) to see double. He careened off lines up with Bruce Brown for an impromptu bike race on and back, Evan. the road, across Mr. Harpurs Sunday in Warkworth. After a fast start, the younger Without considering the disdriveway, down a ditch and evenORourke faded terribly down the stretch, which enabled tance involved (a combined total tually toppled over on his front the much older and experienced Brown to easily win both of a whopping 8 kilometres) and lawn. Then Mr. ORourke threw the race and bragging rights. (Photo by Lauren Nelson) the fact he was still feeling the up. boozy effects from the Jack & Jill A few minutes later, Mr. Brown Party for Lauren and Brad the previous By this point, it became clear that the had finally caught up to Mr. ORourke. night, Mr. ORourke readily accepted race was shaping up to be another verAs he stopped on the side of the highMr. Browns challenge. sion of the famed childrens story way, Mr. Brown again asked Mr. It would turn out to be an ill-advised Tortoise and the Hare. ORourke if he was OK. decision. Mr. Brown hardly seemed fazed by I dont think youre gonna finish the Borrowing an old Canadian Tire Mr. ORourkes ever-increasing lead. Mr. race, Evan, Mr. Brown remarked. I Precision 10-speed bike from Mr. Brown calmly kept a pace that didnt think Im gonna win this race, Evan. Wilson, Mr. ORourke peeled off his require him to exert too much energy Mustering every last bit of energy he windbreaker, rolled up the legs of his in fact he wasnt even breaking a sweat. could, Mr. ORourke slowly lifted his sweat pants and donned a pair of lightWhen Mr. ORourke reached the steep head off the ground, turned to Mr. weight loafers. and imposing Mustard Hill, he attacked Brown and, in a voice that was barely With neighbour Mildred Greenly it with vigour. Half-way up, his speed audible, muttered , F_ _ _ off, Bruce! watching on in amusement and serving slowed considerably and his bike began And with that, Mr. Brown casually as the official race starter, the two cywobbling. But Mr. ORourke pushed on. headed off, eventually reaching town clists lined up at Percy Centennial Public (As an example of their contrasting race and the finish line in a time of 2 hours School. And when Mrs. Greenly shouted strategies, Mr. Brown opted to get off and 15 minutes. ON YOUR MARK, GET SET GO! the his bike and walk it up the hill). As he got off his bike and accepted two racers headed east on County Rd. By the time Mr. ORourke reached the congratulations, Mr. Brown turned to 29 toward the Golf Course. top, he was gasping for air. His face was Mr. Wilson and said, You better get in Mr. ORourke got off to blazing start, beet red, he was sweating profusely, your truck and check on Evan hes his pale white legs a blur as he left Mr. and he began to get the dry heaves. For asleep on Doug Harpurs lawn. Evan Brown in his dust. By the time he got to the first time in the race, Mr. ORourke doesnt look very good. I dont think hes the soccer fields, Mr. ORourke already began to question his decision to particigonna finish the race. had a huge lead, and as he looked back pate in this bike challenge, and whether Despite several attempts by the Warkat Mr. Brown in the distance, Mr. he would even be capable of finishing. worth Journal to contact Mr. ORourke ORourke appeared to have flipped him But he continued. By the time he got about a possible rematch, he has not the middle finger. to the Warkworth Golf Course, Mr. returned our calls or e-mails.