Schwurack 1 Fallon Schwurack Devin Patten English 1010 23 April 2014 Does Marital Rape Exist?

Rape has been defined as a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more people against another person without that persons consent. Rape is illegal in most parts of the world and is punishable by law. However, the debate of the existence of marital rape has come up within the last few decades. Is it possible for a man to rape his wife? Or does mutual matrimony count as consent? How can you prove if it is really rape? Who decides? These questions have filled many police stations, health care facilities, and even courtrooms. Marital rape is when a spouse forces their partner to take part in sexual acts without their consent. Before the late 1970s the marital rape exemption existed in the U.S., where only stranger rape was considered as real rape. It is now illegal in the U.S. and in other countries around the world, but it is still hard to classify and prove. Contrary to a persons personal belief or culture, the effects of marital rape are what make it so destructive, and a serious form of violence. It is not only a sexual assault, but it is also a betrayal of the person and their trust. Rape is rape; the relationship of the victim and the perpetrator should not matter. Even if they are married, living together, in a relationship, or just friends it is still real assault and real rape. It also does not have to be physical or violent; any unwanted sexual contact is still rape. Rape can also happen to a man or a woman, however it is usually a woman who is the victim. Marital rape is one of the least reported crimes, but is one of the most destructive. There is not a

Schwurack 2 clear reason why marital rape occurs. It can even happen to the happiest couple, which have little to no problems in their relationship. The biggest difference between stranger rape and marital rape is stranger rape is a one time thing and with marital rape it is usually reoccurring. Research shows that women who are marital rape victims are more likely to experience repeated assaults; among battered women, sexual assault may be a routine part of the pattern of the abuse. (Sebold) Also with stranger rape there is not a question what is happening, it is definitely rape. In marital rape it may be a little bit more confusing and the victim may not fully understand or want to admit that it was rape. The FLDS church gives an example of how girls and young adolescent women are forced into marriage and sex with older men, who are chosen by the head of the church. Through their beliefs they practice polygamy, the marriage of multiple wives, where the man is in control and decides when and where the sexual act will take course. The women are brought up believing that they need to please the leaders of the church by getting married and having children immediately, their husband then owns their body and soul. They are also taught that the only way they can get to heaven is if they follow the leader, the divinely-inspired prophet. (Musser, Daily Mail) Some of these girls are only in their mid-teenage years when they are forced to get married to a much older man. They are unable to say no with they fear they will shame their families and will have repercussions from the church leaders. Their husband chooses exactly when they have sex and how many times. They experience so much sexual abuse as well as emotional abuse. Rebecca Musser describes her life as a constant state of fear, unknown, silence. (Musser, Daily Mail) They are taught to only think a certain way and to never go

Schwurack 3 against it. This type of belief and way of living is classified as sexual slavery, where they do not have control over their own bodies. The easiest proven classification of marital rape is of power and violence. This is where there is no question that a wife was beaten and involved in a sexual act against her will. There are many reasons for a man to violently rape his wife. Some happen due to an argument between the couple, while others happen because he is struggling with another area in their life. Through this type of rape the man is trying to prove his dominance and power over his wife. This is usually accompanied by physical violence and abuse. The degree of physical violence in marital rape will vary with each case and even each occurrence. Most cases will use force-only where they use just enough force to control or subdue their victim and happens when there is a large difference in size and strength of the perpetrator and victim. Coercion may also be used in marital rape where there is a verbal threat and not a physical violent act. Most of the time it happens in relationships with small children, where the victim does not want them to find out or get hurt. Violent rape is when the abuser uses physical violence to injure the victim. The injuries usually happen in places that are easily covered by clothes like the breasts and the pelvic region. Those who experience violent rape are usually further humiliated by being made to show their forgiveness by performing other sexual acts after the physical abuse. Marital rape is a serious form of violence that can have life-shattering effects for its victims. (Sebold) Some women have been forced to have sex while in bad health, which causes more complications and even death. Women that experience violent rape can have serious injuries such as bruising, broken bones, open wounds, and/or damage of reproductive organs. A study has shown an association with intimate partner violence and termination of pregnancy.

Schwurack 4 Rape is not only physically damaging, but is almost more mentally and emotionally damaging. Contrary to what many people may think the trauma of marital rape usually lasts longer than that of a stranger rape. There is a lack of recognition and the ability to share the pain. The victim may not tell anyone what happened, due to the refusal to believe it happened or humiliation and embarrassment. What makes marital rape so destructive is the complete betrayal of trust. This is the person who you trust the most and who you count on and they just hurt you in the worst possible way. They take what is so vulnerable and special in a relationship and destroy it. When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you, it is not just a physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage, of your person, of your trust.(Hidden Hurt) Unwanted sex between strangers is rape; sex between a husband and wife is sex. Rape occurs when there is no consent given by the victim. In a marriage the consent is already given. The man and the woman have an agreement between themselves and the government who issued their marriage. In many countries and religions sex is an intimate and private matter that only happens between a husband and a wife after marriage. The main reason for sex is for reproduction, and it is the duty of the wife to carry and bare those children for the husband. World wide marital rape does not exist by law and is considered a right. In many cultures when a man marries a woman she becomes his property and she is there to do his will. A wife is obliged to look after her husbands needs. In the bedroom and out. (Wanjala) The man holds control in the family and therefor they make all the decisions, it is up to him to initiate the sexual act. If a woman does not like what is going on then she should leave, a woman in his house and in his bed is his property.

Schwurack 5 The continuing existence of the husband exemption protects marital privacy and promotes marital harmony and reconciliation, leaving both husband and wife better off. (Hasday) The wifes interests, like her husbands, are fully served in protecting the marital relationship from the scrutiny and possibility of prosecution for rape. The woman especially is to protect the intimacy of her relationship with her husband by not disclosing any information of what happens in the home. If both partners are so aligned in their efforts to protect their relationship there is no potential harm for either partner. Marriage presumes consent, when a man and a woman exchange wedding vows it constitutes as a public announcement of that sexual union, of that agreement to engage in sex with that one person over a period of time until death, or the ending of that marriage. Any sexual act done by a husband to his legally recognized wife is already consensual due to her being his wife. A man forcing himself on his wife is seen as claiming his conjugal right. (Wanjala) The reason many men get married is for the sex and in fact, a woman denying her husband of sex is considered abuse by the wife. Having sex with your wife is no crime. Besides, it is only the two of you, so who decides it is rape? (Wanjala) How can you prove that a rape actually occurred? If there is little to no clear evidence of violence then the situation turns into a he said-she said. There would be difficulties in determining which cases were genuine and which cases were just an upset wife. What happens in the bedroom between a man and a woman, stays in the bedroom and is not up for disclosure, it is a private matter and does not belong in a government setting. If a wife has had multiple sexual encounters with her husband, then when is it considered rape? Is he supposed to ask permission before every sexual act? The sexual history between a victim and an accused rapist becomes relevant to judging credibility. (McElroy)

Schwurack 6 In some states marital rape has been made hard to prove, they have to show that force or threat was used. In South Carolina, prosecution for spousal rape may not proceed unless the offending spouses conduct was reported and proven to law enforcement within thirty days of the event. (Steiner) A woman reporting marital rape will often feel ashamed and at fault, and may find it difficult to file the report. Rape within a marriage is considered to be more harmful, because there is a betrayal of trust and lack of recognition and understanding. The trauma of marital rape is often known to last longer than that of stranger rape. Women who are forced to have sex by their husband are also more likely to experience physical violence as well as emotional and mental abuse. In some countries, such as India, rape has been given the death sentence, but marital rape is rejected as a crime. (Wanjala) Due to different cultures and ways of life, victims of marital rape find it hard to define it as rape. Most women in male dominating cultures do not even know what rape is let a lone being able to say if it is happening to them. Even in cases where a woman has evidence that can prove the rape by the spouse there is the factor of fear to report. In these cases the women are not being raped only once, as in a stranger rape, there are multiple occurrences and often emotional, empowering abuse. The effects of marital rape are life shattering. Most marital rape victims do not have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to for help. The long-term psychological distress often goes unnoticed and untreated, due to the problems of disclosure. If these psychological traumas, as well as the physical traumas, go untreated the results can be more harmful for the victims than the initial assault. Many women who are raped, let alone raped by their partner, have a hard time trusting someone enough to have that intimate relationship with. It can even affect their relationship with other family members, friends, and co-workers. The physical damage can be

Schwurack 7 even harder to overcome. Many women who have been raped experience damage to their reproductive organs and even can have hemorrhaging and internal bleeding. So does marital rape exist? It depends on the laws of a country and their personal beliefs. It depends on the situation at hand, and if it can be proven. However to some people it exists no matter what. I do not think that just because something happens behind closed doors between a husband and wife it is right. They should not be able to hide behind religion or a culture way of living; everyone should have the right to their own body. What should be most concerning are the effects of a trauma and how that individual is handling it. Whether you believe in the existence in marital rape or not, there can still be emotional trauma with any sexual encounter, wanted or not. The emotional effects of these sexual encounters can cause great depression and self-hatred. I do not believe that a woman or man should have to be ashamed of what happened to them or what they are going through, and should be able to seek help.

Schwurack 8 Works Cited Sebold, Alice. Marital Rape. Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 2009. Print Online. Web 15 April 2014. Anonymous. Marital Rape. Hidden Hurt: Domestic Abuse Information, 2002. Print Online. Web 15 April 2014 McElroy, Wendy. Spousal Rape Case Sparks Old Debate. FoxNews.com, 2005. Print Online. Web 15 April 2014 Wanjala, Christine. Marital rape: Is it a crime or a conjugal right? Saturday Monitor, 2014. Print Online. Web 16 April 2014 Stritof, Sheri & Bob. Is marital rape a crime? About.com, 2014. Print Online. Web 16 April 2014 Steiner, Monica. Marital Rape Laws. CriminalDefenseLawyer.com, Unknown. Print Online. Web 20 April 2014 McOrmond-Plummer, Louise. Marital/Partner Rape. WomensLaw.org, 2012. Print Online. Web 20 April 2014 Hall, Megan; Chappell, Lucy; Parnell, Bethany; Seed, Paul; Bewley, Susan. Termination of Pregnancy: A systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Womens Health Academy Centre, Kings College London, 2014. Print. Web 4 February 2014 Daily Mail Reporter. I Was in a Constant State of Fear. Daily Mail Online, 12 April 2012. Print Online. Web 20 April 2014 Daily Mail Reporter. You Will be Destroyed in the Flesh. Daily Mail Online, 14 September 2013. Print Online. Web 20 April 2014