Latest version of the Tortoise and the Hare:

Wily veteran Bruce Brown easily defeats young, brash Chevy ORourke in impromptu Warkworth Bike Challenge
WARKWORTH Maybe next to the Warkworth Golf Course, time, Evan Chevy ORourke Mr. ORourke was terribly dehywont be so quick to challenge drated (he forgot to bring some Bruce Brown to a bike race. water). So he headed into the Mr. ORourke learned the golf course clubhouse and orhard way that Mr. Brown may dered a cold beer, downed it in be a little older, but he can still about five seconds then ordered hold his own when it comes to another. And another. long-distance After 20 minutes, Mr. ORourke bike-riding. knew hed better get back on his After all, Mr. Brown has cerbike and attempt to finish the tainly had lots of practice at it race. The beer wasnt making over the years. him feel any better. In fact, he The younger, swaggering Mr. was feeling nauseated. And to ORourke sent out an imprompmake matters worse, as he tu bike challenge to Mr. Brown peered down the road, he could last Sunday afternoon while see Mr. Brown in the distance. sitting on the front lawn of the The once insurmountable lead Church St. home of friends was quickly evaporating. Lauren Nelson and Brad Wilson. As they passed each other, Mr. Mr. Brown was out riding his Brown waved at Mr. ORourke bike on a sunny spring afterand said, Are you OK, Evan? You noon and minding his own busidont look very good. You dont ness when Mr. ORourke look good at all, Evan. spotted him and yelled, Hey, By the time he approached Bruce I could kick your ass in a Doug Harpurs, Mr. ORourkes bike race any day. legs felt like wet noodles. He Mr. Brown laughed at Mr. could barely pedal anymore. He ORourkes brash comment and was shaking, his head was poundON YOUR MARK, GET SET : Evan Chevy ORourke (left) then calmly replied, Ill race you ing and he was beginning to see to the Warkworth Golf Course and lines up with Bruce Brown for an impromptu bike race on double. He careened off the road, Sunday in Warkworth. After a fast start, the younger back, Evan. across Mr. Harpurs driveway, ORourke faded terribly down the stretch, which enabled Without considering the disdown a ditch and eventually the much older and experienced Brown to easily win both tance involved (a combined total toppled over on his front lawn. the race and bragging rights. (Photo by Lauren Nelson) of a whopping 8 kilometres) and Then Mr. ORourke threw up. the fact he was still feeling the A few minutes later, Mr. Brown boozy effects from the Jack & Jill Party the middle finger. had finally caught up to Mr. ORourke. for Lauren and Brad the previous night, By this point, it became clear that the As he stopped on the side of the highMr. ORourke readily accepted Mr. race was shaping up to be another verway, Mr. Brown again asked Mr. Browns challenge. sion of the famed childrens story ORourke if he was OK. It would turn out to be an ill-advised Tortoise and the Hare. I dont think youre gonna finish the decision. Mr. Brown hardly seemed fazed by race, Evan, Mr. Brown remarked. I Borrowing an old Canadian Tire Mr. ORourkes ever-increasing lead. Mr. think Im gonna win this race, Evan. Precision 10-speed bike from Mr. Brown calmly kept a pace that didnt Mustering every last bit of energy he Wilson, Mr. ORourke peeled off his require him to exert too much energy could, Mr. ORourke slowly lifted his windbreaker, rolled up the legs of his in fact he wasnt even breaking a sweat. head off the ground, turned to Mr. sweat pants and donned a pair of lightWhen Mr. ORourke reached the steep Brown and, in a voice that was barely weight loafers. and imposing Mustard Hill, he attacked audible, muttered , F_ _ _ off, Bruce! With neighbour Mildred Greenly it with vigour. Half-way up, his speed And with that, Mr. Brown casually watching on in amusement and serving slowed considerably and his bike began headed off, eventually reaching town as the official race starter, the two cywobbling. But Mr. ORourke pushed on. and the finish line in a time of 2 hours clists lined up at Percy Centennial Public (As an example of their contrasting race and 15 minutes. School. And when Mrs. Greenly shouted strategies, Mr. Brown opted to get off As he got off his bike and accepted ON YOUR MARK, GET SET GO! the his bike and walk it up the hill). congratulations, Mr. Brown turned to two racers headed east on County Rd. By the time Mr. ORourke reached the Mr. Wilson and said, You better get in 29 toward the Golf Course. top, he was gasping for air. His face was your truck and check on Evan hes Mr. ORourke got off to blazing start, beet red, he was sweating profusely, asleep on Doug Harpurs lawn. Evan his pale white legs a blur as he left Mr. and he began to get the dry heaves. For doesnt look very good. I dont think hes Brown in his dust. By the time he got to the first time in the race, Mr. ORourke gonna finish the race. the soccer fields, Mr. ORourke already began to question his decision to particiDespite several attempts by the Warkhad a huge lead, and as he looked back pate in this bike challenge, and whether worth Journal to contact Mr. ORourke at Mr. Brown in the distance, Mr. he would even be capable of finishing. about a possible rematch, he has not ORourke appeared to have flipped him But he continued. By the time he got returned our calls or e-mails.