Until These Calamities Be Overpast

By Patricia Backora One comment I read on the Net had to do with a rebuke aimed at a Christian counselor who dealt with a case of domestic violence. This man was upbraided for giving "carnal" counsel to a woman who was too scared to stay with her husband anymore because he regularly beat her and terrorized the kids. The counselor had suggested she look in her phone book ellow !ages for a battered women"s shelter so she and her children could escape immediately from her brutal husband# to enable her to piece her life back together. $ell# the counselor"s critic said that advice was no better than what the world could give# and it would only be playing into the devil"s hands if the wife left her husband# even temporarily. Instead# she should bear with the blows of her husband patiently until %od won him to Christ by her own Christlike behavior. !assages on patient suffering should instead have been cited to the wife# the critic said& I !eter '&'(& )or what glory is it# when ye be buffeted *beaten+ for your faults# ye shall take it patiently, -ut if# when ye do well# and suffer for it# ye take it patiently# this is acceptable with %od. .nd& I !eter /&012 was cited# that passage which describes the chaste conduct of a godly wife# which is precious in the sight of %od# an attitude which can win a husband to Christ. This is e3cellent advice# though it usually takes some time to see fruits from it. 4owever# if a woman is dodging flying fists and karate kicks# she doesn"t have the lu3ury of waiting for her husband to be gently persuaded by her chaste conduct. .nd this doubly applies if she has small children to consider. 5ven if she were the most patient Christian woman on the planet and her faith were strong enough to cheerfully bear with a few broken bones# how could she ask her little children to endure the same abuse, .nd even if the man never laid a hand upon the kids and only hurt her# the children suffer psychological damage from seeing their mother beaten up# screaming and crying. It"s oh# so easy to dispense advice to people whose thorny path you never have to tread yourself6 That critical preacher ought to think twice before he 7umps down a counselor"s throat for trying to ensure the safety of a poor frightened woman and her small children. $hat if it were 4I8

daughter or other loved one in that woman"s shoes# being battered and abused, $ould a few smugly dispensed -ible verses still be sufficient to solve the problem, 9aybe the women"s shelter isn"t the most spiritual answer# but if you"re in a raging storm and about to go down in the drink# you"ll be glad for any port of safety. The reason that Christian woman would have to look in the ellow !ages to find such a hiding place is because such help would be unavailable from her own church. :eeping homes "together" takes top priority# even over the safety of women and children6 There are times when one -iblical principle seems to conflict with another. 8aving life must take top priority when two laws clash. ;ahab the harlot was economical with the truth when she hid <oshua"s spies in her house *<oshua '&01=+. 8he feigned ignorance about the men when the king asked her about them. Once the coast was clear# ;ahab was able to send the spies away to safety. It is a sin to lie# but ;ahab told a fib when she told the :ing she knew nothing about the 4ebrew spies. In saving those men"s lives she saved her own life and the lives of her loved ones when the city of <ericho was later attacked by <oshua. Instead of losing her soul for deceiving the king# ;ahab is listed in 4ebrews 00& /0 as a woman of faith. It was against <ewish >aw to harvest grain on the 8abbath ?ay# and the !harisees let <esus know it one day when 4is hungry disciples picked grain in a field to satisfy their hunger. <esus reminded those loveless religious e3perts that when ?avid was fleeing from 8aul he ate the shewbread which only the priests were allowed to eat. Not only had ?avid been forced to break up the integrity of his own household to save his life# he was starving# and he broke the law to eat only food available to him. That incident is in I 8amuel '0&012. ?avid had to choose life over death. On at least two occasions :ing 8aul tried to kill ?avid with a spear *I 8am.0@&00+. )or a while ?avid found the courage to remain in 8aul"s court and continue serving the mad monarch. -ut ?avid came to realize that hanging out with 8aul might cost him his life. .fter more threats from 8aul# ?avid fled the royal household in Chapter '0# leaving behind his wife 9ichal. The crisis had gotten so bad ?avid"s own home had to be temporarily disbanded. In his e3ile the !salmist prayed& ?eliver me# O

>ord# from mine enemies& I flee unto thee to hide me *!salms 0A/&B+. .nd# in !salms C=&0& -e merciful unto me# O %od# be merciful unto meD for my soul trusteth in thee& yea# in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge# until these calamities be overpast. -rutalized women need a refuge where they can be secure until the storm in their life has blown over. ;omans 0'&0@ says& If it be possible# as much as lieth in you# live peaceably with all men. 8ometimes it is NOT possible. ou can obey every e3hortation of 8cripture to be the perfect wife *or husband+ and still get clobbered with a frying pan. ?avid did his best to stay in his own abusive situation# but 8aul would not choose the way of peace# so there could be no harmony between the two men# no matter how much ?avid wanted peace. !salms 0'(&= says& I am for peace& but when I speak# they are for war. It takes two to make peace# not one. -ut surely# some would say# it 7ust isn"t a Christian thing to do to run away from danger. -ut <esus says in 9atthew 0(&'/& $hen they persecute you in this city# flee ye into another. <esus 4imself was forced to flee to safety as a young child in -ethlehem. :ing 4erod was out to kill him. In 9atthew '&0/ the angel of the >ord instructed 4is foster father <oseph to "arise# and take the young child and his mother# and flee into 5gypt# and be thou there until I bring thee word& for 4erod will seek the young child to destroy 4im". 8o <oseph took 9ary and baby <esus to a hiding place to protect the life of the 8on of %od. .s head of the little family# it was <oseph"s responsibility to protect 9ary and <esus from danger. $henever a man becomes violent and threatens the safety of his wife and children# he has ceased to be a responsible husband and father. 8omeone else must look out for the safety of his vulnerable victims. The angel did not tell 9ary to try to first try to win the hearts of :ing 4erod"s wicked soldiers by patiently enduring their sword thrusts. ;ather# she was to take <esus to a safe place until the danger was past. Is it cowardly to hide from danger, In I :ings 0@& A one hundred prophets of the >ord were concealed in caves by one godly man who feared the >ord. They were given bread and water to sustain them. <ezebel was out to kill them and they needed a hiding place. In ;evelation 0'&2 a woman <ohn saw in vision flees from a dragon intent

on killing her. 8he goes into a wilderness prepared by %od# to be sustained there for 0'2( days. 9any interpret this mysterious passage to signify Israel# fleeing from the .ntichrist during the Tribulation !eriod. This believing remnant of Israel is hidden and preserved by %od so that once the crisis is past# she can once again flourish. $omen who flee and look for a hiding place are trying to survive rather than thrive# so that once again their bruised souls might flourish. ?oes an abusive husband *or wife+ merit the same respect as a godly one who obeys the >ord, $hen a husband becomes a drunken brute or otherwise neglects to provide for the welfare of his own family# he is worse than an infidel and has denied the faith *I Tim.C&@+. 4is office as husband ought to be respected# but even if such a wicked man was once born again# he is no longer acting as godly priest over his own home and is in bondage to another master# satan. The preservation of life must take priority over respecting his so1called "rights" as husband. I knew one church elder who said that no matter what# wives should submit to their own husbands in unconditional obedience. 5ven to the e3tent of 7umping off a cliff if he ordered her to do it. -ut !eter says in .cts C&'B& $e ought to obey %od rather than men. $hen the will of your earthly overlords conflicts with the will of %od# you must choose %od every time. If a brutal husband orders his wife to stay with him so he can abuse the kids# she must act as their protector. %od called the husband to be the protector of the family. .n army general reigns supreme in his battalion. -ut if he gets captured by the enemy in battle# he is unable to continue his command. 4is second in command must take over his duties or the men will have no one to keep up their morale and lead them safely through the battle. $hen the husband has been taken utterly captive by satan and is doing satan"s work of steal# kill and destroy# it is then the wife must assume the role of protector of the home and take steps to protect her own family from harm. 8ome say we must be willing to take unlimited abuse from anybody who feels like dishing it out# because Christ suffered terrible things when 4e lived on earth# leaving us an e3ample. es# <esus did suffer unspeakably horrible abuse by sinners# but only when the time came for 4im to offer 4imself up for our redemption. In >uke A&0C1/( <esus reads from the 8croll of Isaiah the !rophet# and lets the people in the synagogue know that 4e has come to fulfill the 8criptures as the !romised One. <esus upbraids the people of Nazareth for refusing to believe in 4im. They got

so mad at <esus that they grabbed hold of 4im and marched 4im out of the city# with the intention of throwing 4im off a cliff. -ut it was not <esus" time to be broken and killed. 4e passed through the midst of that crowd safely# and went on 4is way. The counselor"s critic was# in effect# demanding that the battered wife stay in a dangerous situation and place her own safety in the hands of her abusive husband# in hopes he would soften his attitude and be won over by her godly conduct. <ohn '&'A says that <esus did not commit 4imself unto certain ones who sought 4im out because of the miracles 4e did. That means 4e did not entrust 4imself to them. Christ did not trust these people because 4e knew what was in their hearts. 4e knew that their motives were not the purest. If our own 8avior had to beware of the wicked while 4e was on earth# how can anyone find fault with an innocent wife or children for wanting to escape a madman who is always hurting them, $hen cold counsellors tell a battered wife to stay in a dangerous situation because the integrity of the family home comes first# they are demanding that she risk her life and the lives of any small children she might have. ;egardless of the level of her faith# she must face the flying fists of a man who says "no thanks" to %od"s call to be saved. 9ost likely wise counsellors of patience know they themselves could not survive such a horrible trial. 8o instead of finding the courage and the means to shelter helpless# frightened abused wives and children# a timid church is content to dispense e3hortations to endure# whatever the cost. .nd so the world"s social services must take up the slack and provide a hiding place where a battered Christian wife can go to ride out the storm. .t least they will not accuse her of being responsible for the big black bruises on her face. The integrity of the household has been shattered# not by her fleeing feet# but by the flying fists of the beast who turned on her. <ust as a hateful bully who drives his victim to suicide is guilty of murder# an abuser whose cruelty drives away his spouse is guilty of destroying the home. -reak a plate through violence and it"s broken. !eriod. 5ven if you keep the shattered pieces "together" instead of removing them from the house# that"s only a denial that the home is broken. The plate has still been broken by violence. In the case of an abused Christian spouse# she *or he+ can do only her own part by behaving in a Christlike manner. . Christian wife can no more accept the love of <esus on behalf of her unsaved husband than she can do his own breathing for him to keep him

alive. Instead of smug blame on the part of self1righteous counselors who don"t want to admit that real life gets messy# a woman caught up in a hell of abuse needs protection. 5ven wild animals will protect their own young. $ho designed them that way, %od. %od"s wrath toward sinners is compared to that of a bear robbed of her whelps *4osea 0/&@+. !assivity in the face of great evil is a cowardice which loves to wear religious robes.

$herever satan is at work to destroy Christian homes and families Christians must bind the forces of darkness through believing prayer. -ut faith must also be e3pressed in positive action *<ames '&0=+. <oshua"s spies were hidden by ;ahab# a woman of the world whose occupation was less than praiseworthy. %od used even an unconverted person to meet 4is need because that was what was available to 4im at the time. ?esperate women are forced to rely upon worldly programs to save them from violence whenever help is unavailable from their church. It is high time the church took more seriously its calling to bind up the brokenhearted *Isaiah 20&0+.