A Suffering Soul

Dark Love Poems - Volume 1 By Darren Heart eBook Edition ISBN: 97 -1-!"#-9!$!#-% &o'yri()t Darren Heart %"1#* +ll ,i()ts ,eservedhttp://www.darrenheart.com

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Ta le of Contents
&o'yri()t* Le(al Noti0e and Dis0laimer-----------------------------------% .a/le o5 &ontents---------------------------------------------------------------------! Pre5a0e-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------# .)ere@s a 1an---------------------------------------------------------------------------$ Early Days--------------------------------------------------------------------------------6 Hearts---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------7 Sim'ly Syner(y------------------------------------------------------------------------A)y Aon9t ;ou Pi0k 4'B---------------------------------------------------------9 Dreamin( C5 ;ou--------------------------------------------------------------------1" Ait) ,e(ret-----------------------------------------------------------------------------11 + Broken Promise o5 Love------------------------------------------------------1% Pus)ed +7ay--------------------------------------------------------------------------1! 8ood/ye 1y Love Part 1--------------------------------------------------------1# A)y ;ou* Not 1eB-----------------------------------------------------------------1$ +l7ays------------------------------------------------------------------------------------16 I Dare Not Look----------------------------------------------------------------------17 I5 Cnly-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 Dark &louds----------------------------------------------------------------------------19 Cde to a Player-----------------------------------------------------------------------%" + &ruel Stunt--------------------------------------------------------------------------%1 +l7ays 1y Boy-----------------------------------------------------------------------%% + &asta7ay----------------------------------------------------------------------------%! Survive or .)rive--------------------------------------------------------------------%# +/out t)e +ut)or---------------------------------------------------------------------%$ Ct)er Books----------------------------------------------------------------------------%6 &onne0t 7it) t)e +ut)or---------------------------------------------------------%7

!reface
+ Su55erin( Soul is t)e 5irst volume in t)e Dark Love Poems series o5 s)ort 'oetry /ooks 7ritten /y Darren Heart&ontainin( a 0olle0tion o5 'oems /y t)e aut)or t)at* not only investi(ates t)e li()ter side o5 love* /ut also dares to delve dee'er* takin( t)e reader on a =ourney into t)e darker as'e0ts o5 love* su0) as inde0ision* re=e0tion* 5ear* /etrayal* loss and 5inally deat)Ins'ired /y )is o7n love story* and su/seDuent /ereavement* t)e aut)or 7rites emotionally* and 5rom t)e )eart* o5ten resultin( in 'oems t)at /rin( a tear to t)e eye>or in5ormation on more 0)a'/ooks in Dark Love Poems series* 'lease visit t)e aut)ors 7e/site lo0ated at t)e link /elo7< )tt':EE777-darren)eart-0om

There"s a #an
.)ere@s a man 7)o 7ants to love you* .)ere@s a man 0om'elled to 0are.)ere@s a man t)at 7ould (ive it all to you* I5 you 7is)ed it* and 7ere to dare.)ere@s a man 7)o lon(s to )old you* .)ere@s a man t)at needs your tou0).)ere@s a man t)at (rins at every te:t* Be0ause )e misses you so mu0).)ere@s a man 7)o 5eels 0onne0ted* .)ere@s a man 7)o 5eels ent7ined.)ere@s a man* 7)o sees every moment 7it) you* +s 7ort)y o5 a re7ind.)ere@s a man 7)o 7ill al7ays 5or(ive you* .)ere@s a man 7)o is on your side.)ere@s a man 7)o kno7s you@re only )uman* +nd 7ould ride out every tide.)ere@s a man t)at sees t)e real you* .)e 'ain* t)e dou/t* t)e 5earBut not)in( 0an taint t)e ma(i0al (lo7* He 5eels 7)en you are near.)ere@s a man 7)o 7ould /e 0arin(* Loyal* su''ortive and 5air.)ere@s a man 7)o is not so )ard to 5ind* Fust 5ind me* and )e@ll /e t)ereG

$arly Days
I@ve )ad su0) a 7onder5ul day* .ime@s ti0kin( and I =ust 7ant to stay* Holdin( )ands on t)e /ea0)* 1a(i0 moments in rea0)* Please let t)is /e Ht)e oneH I 'rayCur ne:t meetin( 7ent mu0) t)e same* Peo'le 7at0)in(* t)at 7as our (ame* >ull o5 lau()ter and 0)eer* +nd may/e some /eer* .)en time@s u'* time to (o* su0) a s)ame,eunited* I /rou()t you some 5lo7ers* I@d /e 0rus)ed i5 t)is relations)i' sours* .)e 7orst o5 my 5ears* ;ou@d /rin( a (ro7n man to tears* I9d /e 5allin( =ust like t)e .7in .o7ersIt@s early days* t)is is true* But 0an@t )el' mysel5 t)inkin( t)is t)rou()* So ri()t 5rom t)e start* Never destined to 'art* Heart says my soul-mate is o/viously you-

%earts
By Claire F. (RIP) A)atever )a''ened to our )eartsB .)ey used to /eat in timeAit) love and so mu0) lau()ter* 4to'ia 7as mineAe didn@t tend t)em lovin(ly* Fust let t)em dri5t alon(+nd no7 t)e /eats seem Duieter* .)e 5adin( o5 t)e son(;our )eart no7 7ants to let mine (o* Beat a r)yt)m on its o7nNo lon(er needin( my duet* Pre5ers to sin( alone1y )eart@s no solo artist* It 0an@t maintain t)e son(Ait)out its lovin( 'artner* It 0annot 0arry on1y )eart 7ill sin( t)e lyri0s* I5 yours 7ill 'lay t)e tune* Ait) a little time our musi0* Aill /e )eard a(ain real soon-

Simply Synergy
Ho7 0an t7o 'eo'le /e so 0onne0tedB Se'arate /ut also ent7ined* Inter7oven like t)e t)reads o5 a /lanket* Su0) syner(y is so )ard to 5ind1oral /oundaries 7e /ot) )ave in 0ommon* Sense o5 )umor is all /ut t)e same* Insultin( ea0) ot)er in an endearin( 7ay* I su''ose you 0ould 0all t)is our (ameNo7 don@t (et me started on /eauty* Ait) t)ose /lue eyes you 7in t)is )ands do7n* + smile so /ri()t it 7ill li()t u' a room* Enou() to u'turn any mans 5ro7nDreamin( a/out our 5uture* Heart /ells rin(in( t)rou()out t)e land* ,eady to s'end my 7)ole li5e you* ;ou need sim'ly rea0) 5or my )and-

&hy &on't (ou !ic) *p+

A)y 7on@t you 'i0k u'B A)y 7on@t you 'i0k u' t)e ')oneB I@ve /een 0allin( you 5or )ours* >or my e55orts* a rin( tone+m I /ein( avoidedB Aant me to leave you aloneB Ae really need to sort t)is out* Aill you 0ome do7n o55 your t)roneB .)is really is 5rustratin(* Ae really s)ould talk t)in(s out* I5 7e really 0an@t 0ommuni0ate* .)en t)e 7)ole t)in(@s (one do7n t)e s'out+s I9m sittin( )ere )ittin( redial* .)ere@s a 0)an(e to t)e rin(ers son(* + 0ra0kled voi0e at t)e end o5 t)e line* .o in5orm me I@d /een dialin( 7ron(G

Dreaming ,f (ou
A)enever I 0lose my eyes* ;ou are al7ays t)ere* ;our se:y smile* your =oy5ul lau()* ;our /eauti5ul /ro7n )airA)en I 7ake u' in t)e mornin(* Aas) t)e slee' out o5 my eyes* .)ere you are* 7it) me a(ain* Not really a /i( sur'rise+s t)e day 'asses /y slo7ly* +nd all t)e 0lo0ks ti0k on* I see your 5a0e in stran(ers* Hear your voi0e in every son(A)en i (et )ome tired and 7eary* &o'ed 7it)out you anot)er day* I 0lose my eyes and dream o5 you* I really )ave no sayIt does seem Duite o/sessive* .o 0lin( to your love t)is 7ay* I 7is) t)ese dreams 7ould last 5orever* I@d move in* un'a0k and stay-

&ith -egret
;ou said you 7ere not out to 0)an(e me* Insisted you 7ouldn@t even try* But no7 t)e )oneymoons over* A)at I 5eel is* 0om'ly* 0om'lyG ;ou@ll /e sad 7)en you realiIe you@ve 0)an(ed me* No lon(er H.)e man I used to /eH* >rom your 0)oi0e o5 tryin( to enslave me* Instead o5 lettin( my soul run 5ree;ou@ll /e sorry you stu0k to your (uns )ere* Built /unkers to lo0k u' my dreamsI@m 0om5orta/le 7it) t)e 'erson I am* 1u0) to your dis(ust it seems;ou@ll re(ret /ein( su0) a di0tator* A)en t)e troo's revolt in t)e ranksSadly t)e only o'tion 5or me no7* Is (ood/ye* 5are7ell* and t)anksG

A .ro)en !romise of Lo/e

I t)ou()t 7e )ad an understandin(* I t)ou()t 7e )ad a deal* I t)ou()t 7e )ad a 'inkie 'romise* But t)at 7as not 5or realI t)ou()t 7e )ad an arran(ement* I t)ou()t our 0ontra0t 7as sound* I t)ou()t 7e )ad an un/eata/le team* No )al5 measures 7ere allo7edI t)ou()t our 'a0t 7as solid* I t)ou()t our )ands)ake 7ould do =ust 5ine* I t)ou()t our 0ommitment 7ould last 5orever* Survive all o/sta0les* in0ludin( timeI5 a la7yer 5or t)e )eart e:ists* I s)ould (et t)em on t)e ')one* .reaty si(ned and 0ovenants 'led(ed* + 'romise /roken* you le5t me alone-

!ushed Away
Hearta0)e* sadness and 'ain* I 7on9t do t)is a(ainNo7 look see 7)at you@ve done* o) 7)at a 0ryin( s)ameDe0e'tion* de0eit and lies* ,i()t /e5ore my eyes* I )ave never done anyt)in( to you* So it@s 0ome as a /i( sur'risePus)ed to one side* o55 you (o to )ide* Aonderin( 7)ere I stand* in t)is ever 0)an(in( tide8ro'in( no7 at stra7s* Sear0)in( t)rou() t)e dra7ers* Lookin( 5or our ')oto al/um* It9s ours* not mine* and not yoursAakin( u' 7it) t)e sun* a ne7 day )ad =ust /e(un* No )ind-si()t* in t)e )eat o5 t)e ni()t* Sto''ed you tellin( me 7e 7ere done+rrivin( at t)e end* no 'oint anymore to 'retend* .ear5ul I mourn* 7it) t)e 'assin( o5 da7n* .)e loss o5 my very /est 5riend-

0ood ye #y Lo/e !art 1

.)ey tell me t)at you are (one no7* Cnly ma0)ines t)at kee' you alive* But I remem/er )o7 you 0ame /a0k 5rom a 0oma* Ho7 you 5ou()t 7it) your all to survive.)ey assure me t)ere@s really no 0)an0e* .)at t)ey )ave done all t)at t)ey 0an do* Hold )er )and 5or t)e ne:t t7enty 5our )ours* +nd 're'are my 5inal (ood/ye 5or you.)e se0onds t)ey turned into minutes* +nd t)e minutes turned into a day1y time 7it) you )ad 0ome to an end* +s you 'ea0e5ully 'assed a7ayI 0an@t /elieve 7)at =ust )a''ened* +m I stu0k in a terri/le dreamB + 'rayer ans7ered is to 7ake u' ri()t no7* .o a 0om5ortin( ni()tmaris) s0ream-

&hy (ou, Not #e+

;ou@re /ri()t* out(oin( and 'lay5ul* I@m Duiet* introverted and s)y+ si:t) sense 5or 7)at makes me )a''y* A)ile t)e /est i 0an do is =ust try;ou@re 0arin(* sel5less and (ivin(* I@m sel5is)* and look out 5or mysel5* +n +n(el on eart)* t)at@s 7)at you are* Plu0ked 5rom t)e very to' s)el5;ou live a )ealt)y li5estyle* Eat 5res) ve(eta/les every-day* 1y idea o5 (ood )ealt)* Is (ra/ a /eer o55 t)e s)el5* +nd 7at0) my 5avorite 5oot/all team 'lay;ou@re love o5 li5e 7as ins'irin(* No7 I stru((le to (et out o5 /ed* .)ere@s /een a mistake* t)is 0an@t /e ri()t* ;ou sure it@s not me 7)o@s su''osed to /e deadB ;ou@re 7anderin( t)e )eavens a/ove no7* A)ile my 'ain lon(s to =ust /e set 5ree* So I 0annot )el' /ut ask mysel5* A)y you t)en* and not meB

Always
I5 t)ere is a li5e a5ter t)is one* I kno7 7)ere you@ll /e* +t )ome u' t)ere in )eaven* Sat ri()t on (od9s kneeBe0ause you 7ere an an(el* Pure o5 s'irit and li()t* Lookin( out 5or ot)ers* +nd 0)oosin( t)e (ood 5i()tSo lovin( /y your nature* ;ou 7ould not 5ind a /etter 5riend* +l7ays 'uttin( ot)ers 5irst* ,i()t to t)e /itter endI 0an 5eel you al7ays around us* I take 0om5ort in kno7in( you@re near* +nd I kno7 5or sure dee' in my /ones* Ae@ll /e reunited a(ain my dear-

2 Dare Not Loo)

I stare at t)e outside o5ten* Darin( to 'eak inside>ully a7are o5 7)at lurks t)ere* +ll o5 t)e 'ain t)at I )ideIt )as never /een 5ar a7ay 5rom me* Never /een too 5ar to rea0).)e e:terior 7asn@t so dauntin(* But t)e interior I =ust 0ouldn@t /rea0).oday somet)in( 5eels di55erent* I don@t )ave t)e usual 5earSo I 'i0k u' our ')oto al/um* +nd 're'are to 5i()t /a0k a tear+ dee' /reat) as I o'en t)e 0over* E:'e0tin( my )eart no7 to ra0e&ontrary to t)is* t)e 5eelin( 7as /liss* +nd a smile s'read all over my 5a0eI t)ou()t t)is 7ould 'rom't 'ain5ul memories* ,emind me you@re no7 an an(el a/oveC5 all t)e 'ain 7)en I lost you* But no7 all I9m 5eelin( is loveNo more tears 7)en I 7ake in t)e mornin(* No more )eart /reaks day a5ter dayI 7ill visit t)ese 5ond memories o5ten* +nd en=oy t)em in a ne7ly 5ound 7ay-

2f ,nly
I5 only 7e@d learned o5 t)is sooner* .ook a0tion as Dui0k as 0ould /e* Juestioned t)e si(ns laid /e5ore us* Se0ond o'inionB No let@s )ave t)reeG I5 only 7e lived anot)er li5estyle* Aent =o((in( t)ree times a day* C55 to t)e (ym and t)en s7immin(* Aould t)is )ave ke't 5ate at /ayB I5 only I )ad treated you /etter* Looked a5ter you 'assionately* .ook on more res'onsi/ility* Bore more o5 our load onto meI5 only I )ad s)o7n my love /etter* Never ar(ued or /rou()t you to tears* Aould you )ave 5ou()t )arder to stay my sideB Not t)is ni()tmare* my 'inna0le o5 5earsI5 only time travel e:isted* I@d (o /a0k* )ave our time a(ain* Loo'in( t)e loo' t)rou() our 5avorite days* No )o7* no 7)ere* =ust 7)en-

Dar) Clouds
Dark 0louds a/ove me* + 7orld o5 )urt lay /elo7Is t)is my lot no7B Em'ty li5e 7it)out you )ere* Void o5 love and your 0aressDark 0louds kee' rollin(* .)ere@s no es0a'e 5rom t)e rainNo7 dren0)ed to t)e skin* See'in( in t)rou() every 'ourI need s)elter 5rom t)is stormCut* seekin( t)e sun* .o /rin( ne7 li()t to my day&old* lost and 7eary* Need some sola0e 5or my )eart* +s it@s 'ullin( me a'art-

,de to a !layer
;ou entered my li5e* s'an a 7e/ o5 de0e'tionLies a/out 5eelin(s* =ust 5or t)e attention;ou said t)at you loved me* and t)en t)at you don@t* &onvin0ed me you 7ill* a0tions told me you 7on9t.)en one day i 7oke u'* and realiIed t)e =oke* It 7as all lies* every 7ord t)at you s'okeNone o5 it 7as )onest* none o5 it true* Ho7 t)e )ell did i 5all 5or* a ri()t /it0) like youB No7 my love 7ill /e saved 5or someone (enuine and kind* Not a 5reak t)at 'lays (ames 7it) t)e )eart and t)e mindSomeone ne7 t)at values love* 5riends)i' and su0)* Aell you rea' 7)at you so7 dear* 5or you t)at9s not mu0)G

A Cruel Stunt
>our days sin0e t)e love o5 my li5e le5t me* .)e memory is still su0) a /lur* Still s0rat0)in( my )ead and askin(* Did t)is ni()tmare really o00urB Ki0k a man 7)ile )e@s do7n is not s'ortin(* A)ile lost in t)e void 7it)out you.)e tra(edy =ust kee's on mountin(* Ho7 0an our son )ave /een taken tooB It@s a mer0y you 7eren@t )ere to see it* It 7ould )ave ended your 5i()t 5or sure.)is )as to /e a 0ruel stunt t)at@s televised* Aill a 'resenter /e kno0kin( my doorB

Always #y .oy
;ou 7ere only a 0ute t7o* t)e year i met you.akin( you on as my o7n* 7ell t)at 7as my vie7+(e t)ree* your (ood )umor 7as 0lear to see+l7ays a 0)eery smile* o5ten (i((lin( 7it) (lee+t t)e a(e o5 5our you )ad started to e:'lore* >irst day at s0)ool you 7ere t)e 5irst one out t)e doorCn0e you )it 5ive you )ad really /e(an to t)rive* +l7ays 5ull o5 ener(y and very mu0) aliveBy t)e a(e o5 si: you )ad learned a 5e7 more tri0ks* Buildin( 'lanes and )ouses 7it) your little Le(o /ri0ksSevent) year 7as 5un* al7ays on t)e run* &o7/oys and Indians 7it) your s)eri55 /ad(e and (unIn a 5las) you 7ere ei()t* una7are o5 your loomin( 5ateBut you lived 7it) su0) a 'assion* a very endearin( trait>inally at a(e nine* ri()t )ere 5ate dre7 t)e line* .akin( you so early* )o7 is t)is not a 0rimeB

A Castaway
Dark 0louds o5 des'air rollin( a/ove* C/s0ures t)e 'eak o5 mount melan0)olySurrounded /y a rou() sea o5 sadness* Aaves o5 7oe 0ras)in( all over meA)ere is t)is 'la0e i )ave landedB + 0asta7ay in a 5ar o55 landBea0)es o5 (loom and misery* 8reat sorro7 in ea0) (rain o5 sandI really need to es0a'e )ere* Build a ra5t 5rom my dreams and )o'esLeave un)a''iness t)ere on t)e s)oreline* +nd /reak 5ree o5 t)ese )eavy )eart ro'esDe'ression is no lau()in( matter* De=e0tion is not a (reat s)o7But no /last o5 darkness 0an /lo0k out t)e li()t* Fust one mat0) 0an make a room (lo7-

Sur/i/e or Thri/e
C) I@d /e in su0) trou/le* I5 you 7ere )ere and 0ould )ave your say* ;ou@d /e(in 7it) t)e 5a0t my li5e@s em'ty* Cne /i( void sin0e you le5t me t)at day;ou@d /e sad i5 you kne7 I 7as lonely* Ais) I@d /e o'en to love on0e more* ;ou 7ould tell me it is no /etrayal* +nd to t)ro7 t)e (uilt out t)e door;ou@d /e )orri5ied to see my )eart /reakin(* Insist t)at i must let your love (o* .ell me to (o live my li5e to t)e 5ull* Be0ause you only rea' 7)at you so7I 7ill try )ard not to disa''oint you* Ait) ne7 dreams 5or 7)i0) I 7ill strive* Be0ause t)e time )as 0ome to ask mysel5* Sim'ly survive* or t)riveB

A out the Author

Darren Heart 7as /orn amid t)e rollin( )ills o5 t)e Sout) o5 t)e 4nited Kin(dom in 196 - Darren )as al7ays 5ound 'oetry a 0om5orta/le medium 5or e:'ressin(* and 'ro0essin( some 5eelin(s and emotions- Love 'oems 7ere a 'arti0ular 'assion* alt)ou() o5ten 'assionate* t)ey 7ere 'rivate /y natureIndeed love 'oetry o5ten served as valua/le 0ommuni0ation tool 7it) )is lon( term 'artner* &laire.ra(edy strikes t)e 5amily 7)en &laire /e0omes un7ell* reDuirin( si(ni5i0ant sur(ery and a len(t)y )os'ital stay- Cn0e a(ain romanti0 'oetry ste's in to lend a )and* 7it) lovin( 'oeti0 messa(es tu0ked a7ay in 8et Aell Soon 0ards.ra(edy* unlike li()tnin(* 0an indeed strike t7i0e* some nine mont)s 'ass* and &laire@s stru((le 5or li5e 0omes to an end.ra(edy t)ri0e* only 5our days later* &laire@s son sadly 'assed a7ay suddenly 5rom a massive )eart atta0k* 0aused /y t)e same (eneti0 disorder t)at )ad taken )is mot)er 5rom )im too soonHeart-/roken* over7)elmed /y (rie5* and su55erin( t)e e:tra strain o5 ne7 5ound sin(le 'arent)ood* Darren soon turned /a0k to t)e 'en* usin( 'oems* o5ten dark in nature* to do0ument and )el' 'ro0ess )is 5eelin(sCver t)e ne:t ten years Darren@s 7ritin(* as yet not s)ared 7it) t)e 7orld* 'layed an im'ortant role in )is =ourney to re0overy 5rom su0) tra(i0 /ereavement* and t)ere5ore no7 makes )is 'oems availa/le to t)e 'u/li0- His (oal is to 'rovide some 0om5ort to t)ose 7)o may /e stru((lin( 7it) a similar =ourney to re0overy-

,ther .oo)s
#y 3 Stages of 0rief y Darren %eart )tt':EEmy$sta(eso5(rie5-darren)eart-0om &omin( Soon 2Fune %"1#3* 1y $ Sta(es o5 8rie5 5eatures 'oetry and 'rose related to t)e 5ive sta(es o5 emotion t)at most 'eo'le 7ill travel t)ou() a5ter su55erin( /ereavement and loss- >ollo7in( t)e tra(i0 deat)s o5 )is 'artner* and t)en 5our days later* )is son* Darren 7rites a/out )is e:'erien0es 7it) t)e various as'e0ts o5 (rie5 in0ludin( +n(er* Denial* Bar(ainin(* De'ression* and 5inally +00e'tan0eHeart-/roken* over7)elmed /y (rie5* and su55erin( t)e e:tra strain o5 ne7 5ound sin(le 'arent)ood* Darren soon turned to t)e 'en* usin( 'oems to do0ument* and )el' 'ro0ess )is 5eelin(s and 0ome to terms 7it) )is lossCver t)e ne:t ten years* Darren@s 7ritin(* as yet not s)ared 7it) t)e 7orld* 'layed an im'ortant role in )is =ourney to re0overy 5rom su0) tra(i0 /ereavement* and t)ere5ore no7 makes )is 'oems availa/le to t)e 'u/li0- His (oal is to 'rovide some 0om5ort to t)ose 7)o may /e stru((lin( 7it) a similar =ourney.)e 5ort)0omin( /ook 1y 3 Stages of 0rief is a 0)roni0le o5 t)is =ourney to re0overy* and 7ill /e availa/le in /ot) traditional 'rint and e-/ook 5ormats* 5rom all (ood online /ookstores 5rom Fune %"1#- ;ou 0an see a 'revie7 o5 some o5 t)e 'oetry 5eatured in t)is /ook* and stay u'dated on its release* /y visitin( t)e /ook9s /lo( at t)e link s)o7n a/ove-

Connect with the Author

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