Karnas thoughts flew back to a night in the middle of a forest

where he went to meet a friendly hermit. The hermit was the one who taught him what is sleep and what is wakefulness and how the latter is an extension of the former and vice versa. Look, the hermit once told Karna, the universe is silent but all the time active, but men think the life is the Only action.. ut look at this life from the angle of the universe. !or the universe, which is silent and super active, this life of ours is an aberration, a sleep that is temporary. "t was late night. the hermit re#uested him to stay back, but Karna had to decline, for there was a meeting next day at the palace which was of some importance. The forest was not only thick but dark too. "t had in its fold a variety of scents of various species of flowers only a forest could hold in its fold . $e could hear the whistle of a sudden bree%e that left the bamboo trees singing. There were sounds of animals and birds, yet the forest was silent. Karna was en&oying his ride and he always en&oyed being in the forest, especially in the night, as it gave him the peace and warmth only a womb could give. Karna always wished for a life in this womb of tran#uility. 'uddenly, a cloud that hovered under the moon moved away, paving way for a golden glow to pour on the infinite mystery of the deep forest, triggering off a uni#ue excitement in Karna. (gain a bree%e flew in, bringing with it an intense scent of nightsmells. 'uddenly a leopard came from the bushes, followed by a bandicoot, a hare and a dog, a lion and a wolf. To his ama%ement, Karna noticed, though they were standing close to him, his presence did not have any bearing on them. Karna felt they were waiting for something. )hat could a panther, lion and deer and a wolf and a bandicoot could wait in unison * "t was pu%%ling. Then Karna saw a movement in the woods and the sudden emergence of a man. The man came towards Karna and stopped a few feet away. $e was naked, stark.

There is something about this man besides a halo of friendliness and karma noticed his hands did not automatically move to draw the sword. This naked man certainly is not an aggressor. (s he watched, the man moved forward with folded hands and said + "m ,k Lavya-. ,k Lavya, Karna repeated the name. The name &olted him. This name is etched in the annals of archery and warfare. The name bears a great story of archery skills taken to its next and next levels. The name is also repeatedly heard whenever teacher.disciple ties are discussed.. The stories about ,k Lavya describe him a boy living in the forest. $e learnt the skills of archery by watching from a tree top /rona (charya teaching Kauravas and 0andavas, the art of war. /rona discovered it one day when he and students heard a wail of a dog in deep pain. (nguished, the teacher and the disciples set out to reach the dog and when they saw it, "t turned out to be a sight that was never seen before. The /og writhing in pain had its mouth pierced with a bunch of arrows. )hat aroused the curiosity of /rona further was that there was no archer in sight which meant it could only be by a highly skilled archer who could shoot at the direction of the sound, not at a target in sight. 1ntil then /rona was teaching his students to focus on the target they saw, only the target, nothing else, when they take aim to shoot. /ronas skills did not go beyond that. $e had declared (r&una the best archer in the world when the latter told him he would see only the neck of the bird , not even the full bird. The knowledge that the boy improved upon /ronas skills was destabili%ing and threatening. "n a moment, /rona asked him to give the teachers fee for learning , even if the learning was without the teachers consent. /rona had no right to ask for a fee, yet he asked. +)hat do you want * " will give you whatever you ask for + "n an instant /rona mumbled +2ive me your thumb-. /rona, unable to face his students, looked away in the skies.

,k Lavya didnt hesitate. $e cut his thumb and placed it before /rona, the (charya, who left the forest in a whiff , disregarding completely the bleeding hand of ,k Lavya. )hoever tells the story of ,k Lavya stops the story here. !or nobody knew what happened to him after that.

)hat are you thinking- ,k Lavya asked. The #uestion brought Karna back from his thoughts that had already wandered. " am Karna. " know, ,k Lavya said +)ho does not know you. 3ou are a king and the friend of /uryodhana. 3ou are known more as a friend of /uryodhaha. Karna said +" do not know about that, ut " am a friend of /uryodhana, indeed-. Then Karna asked the #uestion, the #uestion of curiosity. /o you still practice archery* +)e are grown up men. )e do not play with bows and arrows, like kids,k Lavya answered. Karna remained stunned. Karna asked him +/o you know you are hailed as the greatest archer in the history of warfare-* )ho is hailing * The entire world. ,k Lavya asked +)hats wrong with the world* " was too small when " saw one day /rona and his kids moving in the forest doing something. "t was

only my childish curiosity that made me watch them. The day " met /rona, " forgot archery from my mind. "t is useless-. Karna, who pride in being known as the best archer in the history of civili%ed world could not help asking this #uestion. +$ow does one concentrate to shoot at sound * $ow can you concentrate on the target without seeing it + ,k Lavya gave a pu%%led look at Karna before answering +4y shooting the dog was not an example of concentration-. Then what was it * Karna asked him. +"t was a lapse in concentration. This answer of ,k Lavya pushed Karna to a long silence. Karna did not gauge the soul of what ,k Lavya said but he knew it came from a fathomless mind. ,k Lavya continued + !irst of all, " should not have killed the dog, which was living in the forest the same way " live. "t was a lapse in my concentration that resulted in shooting at it. " carried the pangs of it for a long time.3ou being a man of knowledge , " would tell you this. " gave away my thumb not because /rona asked for it. " cut my thumb as a penance for killing an innocent dog. 'till it was not a matching sacrifice. The animal lost its life.)hat kind of concentration you are now speaking of. To this ,k lavya said +" concentrate on every moment. )hen you continue concentrating on a moment you would discover that a moment is made of several smaller moments and once you discover this you would strive to focus on the smallest fraction of it. 'tart doing it, you will go on discovering lives within life. )hen you meet the tiniest fraction of the moment, you discover the expanse of universe.

Then ,k Lavya asked Karna this #uestion- " did not understand why /rona, the old man, was teaching the kids how to shoot arrows. Old men are supposed to be wise men who know archery will not make life happier* Then ,k Lavya added +Knowledge in archery is useless knowledge. Life is too precious to waste on such frivolities. )hy was /rona doing this* Karna did not have an answer. ut when ,k Lavya insisted for an answer, Karna, after some hesitation, said + The entire world should live in forests. Life outside the forest is lifeless and dangerous-. ............................................................................................ . i4 0admakshan anyan tree, crown, his flute. Krishna .$alf closed eyes. eaming from the thinly parted lips is a smile. mysterious and alien. Karna wondered what Kind of a man could be Krishna,. 4an or 2od. $e is relaxing, under his favourite banyan tree on the bank of 3amuna , knowing well that the next dawn would be the bloodiest. This man with the halo could have prevented this war. (nd he knows it more than anyone else. Karna looked at $im and muttered 5$ow can you5*. Krishna understood this #uestion. This is a #uestion that cannot escape an answer, Krishna thought. )ithout batting an eyelid Krishna replied 5)ar is not the end, nor a beginning. 6othing here has a beginning nor an end. oth are illusions of mind. 'o " do not worry about a war. Krishna said .The crave for war too is an illusion . This, the sages say, is the war between good and bad. They are lying. !or the sages know the line between good and evil, is unreal, mere creation of mind

"t is an illusion that a war will end the evil. Karna, my dear, if evil is evil, war is an evil. $ow can an evil end an evil. . Karna asked 53ou could have prevented this war* Krishna said 5" could have prevented this war. ut why should "* 0erhaps nobody else could have prevented this war except ". " chose not to do that. 6ature has its laws and it forbids me from doing this. Time, you know, is a continuing flow .)hy should " intervene. 4y intervention will be an excess. /eath and life, my dear Karna, is not important to me. " am here to ensure the flow of time, without interruption. 4y concerns are in the realm of infinity, your sorrows and happiness have no space there. "f at all they become my concern, they are incidental. Karna said 5 " will not go to this war. The angst of women who wait for their men back from the battlefields, children who await their fathers, mothers who pray to 2ods unabatedly for protection of their sons, my /ear Lord, are my concerns. " will not go to this battlefield, " will not have any role in furthering their miseries.5 Krishna laughed. )hen $e laughed, Karna saw, a lightning exploding from his mouth. 2od he is, Karna told himself. Krishna told Karna 5 3ou will go to this war, " know. ecause. in the heart of heart you know what " told you is right. 3ou however feign ignorance. "t is a problem you will have to surmount. ,verybody is born with missions. 3ou know this as well as " know. /on7t tell me that you do not know this. 'ee this river. "t has been flowing for so many years. "t never stopped flowing. "t knows its flow is meaningless. 3et it flows for it knows it cannot stop. "ts existence is determined by the slant of the

land and the rains that rain, 'un that brings light and the wind that shapes the waves. (ll give it an existence. $ow can the river determine whether it should flow or not. 'imilarly, my dear Karna, you will go to this war. ecause you have to flow. ut not going to war is as meaningless as going to the war. 2od said 5Karna , you will go to this war. "t7s the same with me. 2oing or not going is meaningless, " agree. ut you will wage this war, though all the way you will wonder what this war is for * (nd do you know that this is the case with all the wars fought in the history of mankind. (nd this #uestion will be raised in future too, again and again without meeting an answer. )ars have been fought before, its trauma has been remembered for ages, yet new wars have found its authors, always. Those who have scripted wars had their causes written in golden letters, but none had the reason. Karna told him. 2od, " do not want to kill 0andavas, for " do not want to bring upon me not the sin, but the sorrow of killing my own brothers. Krishna said 5That is up to you. ut it is not the sin nor the sorrow that may engulf you, that is worrying you. " know the reason. 3ou do not want to fail /raupati. /raupati has taken upon her shoulders the task of leading the 0andavs through the war. 3ou do not want to fail her* /o 3ou* Karna did not reply. 5One day " will &oin your kingdom + Karna said before moving away. .............................................................................. /uryodhana was sitting in his private room in the palace. This is one of the rare occasions the prince retreats, away from the world outside. 6one, not even his wife has admission to this room, except one person, Karna. (s /uryodhana opened the door for him Karna noticed his friends determined face. The face betrayed the angst of the king who has

brought upon him the task of taking the thousands of soldiers to the battlefield in a few hours. Karna, without introduction told him 5The war will be on, tomorrow morning. )e will fight this war with all our might. There is no doubt about that. ut there are some doubts which still linger at a different level5. /uryodhana stood in anticipation. Karna continued 5The war is between two families. The good or bad of the war will go to two families. Then why so many men are fighting a war the fruits of which they have no right over * /uryodhana gave a serious glance at Karna and said 5 These men cheat themselves into believing that they are fighting for truth. 3ou know there cannot be a worse lie than this. They pretend to believe what 0andavas and Kauravas wanted them to believe . that this is the war between good and bad and the ultimate triumph is of the good.7 /uryodhana paused for a while and continued 5 (ll those who participate in this war pretend to be champions of good against evil. ut in the heart of heart most of them know they have nothing to lose. !or some, war is an expression for an inner urge to destroy themselves.. 3et some others want to become martyrs. 'ome come for the thrill a war would offer, the other dimension of adventure. 'ome come because they do not have anything to look forward in life. They do not love their life and ready at any time to expend it. (nd a few are forced to participate in this war. They have their wages.. (nd some come to give expression to an inner urge for violence. Karna asked him5 "n short the cause is not fought in a war. * /uryodhana said 58ause is not fought in any war. 8ause gives an unreal hallo to all wars. Karna asked him 5 Then why are you going to the war* /uryodhana said 5 " do not know. "n fact story of this world is shaped by such wars, of which neither the reason nor the benefits are

tangible. 6nobody knew why these wars had been waged. Karna asked him 9 Ok war is on, my friend, from tomorrow. 'o why don7t you fight a &ust war. /o not cheat in this war which is the greatest /harmayudh , a war to be fought with all the rules in place. )in the war with dignity, follow all the rules and codes and fight the war within the frame of /harma. (nd leave your name untainted. "n this war sword meets sword, chariot meets chariot, arrow face arrow, lance meet lance, man face man, women and children not to be hurt, no attack from behind: /uryodhana raised his hand and stopped Karna.

$e gave a fleeting smile, then laughed at Karna7s outburst. ut said . &ust and war , dignity and war9they do not match. )ar is the antithesis of everything that is &ust and dignified. 3ou can only have either of the two. )ar is a negation of all finest things in life. 3ou may ask me why not, if the man is fighting a war for a cause. 6o cause is worthy enough to go in for a war. )ar is a one way route to hell."t is like you swimming into the sea. !arther you go, farther your chance of returning. )ar is a disaster and you cannot ask for a &ust disaster. /uryodhana said , so Karna there is no philosophy in a war. 6o ethics. " cannot boast of fighting with a code around my neck. /harmayudh, is not a myth, it is a big lie. 3ou can only have one of the two, /harma or 3udh. "f both have the mind to wage a &ust war, they would have been fair to each other and the cause of the war would not have arisen at all.. They could have settled for a no war situation. 4y dear friend, all wars have been un&ust. Once it begins, even winning does not matter. "t becomes a very desperate act of survival. "n a war, the need to protect your life precedes everything and that need &ustifies all your actions. Karna asked ;4y friend, why do you want this war *

" do not know it yet. (nd " do not think the 0andavas too know it. 0andavas have 3udhishtira as their eldest brother who is 2od on earth. "f nobody knows, 3udhishtira knows the worthlessness of the war. 3et it was he who made that final decision to settle for a war, thinking war would settle the rest of the matters. The 0andavas are not attached to wealth and power. They lived in forest for <= years and was ready to settle for a village. (nd they want this war* !or what* " am asking this #uestion myself. Karna asked /uryodhana. you could have given half the kingdom to 0andavas and avoided war. They were even ready to settle for even a village . )hy didn7t you do that * " could have given half the kingdom, which they thought rightfully belonged to them.(nd Karna, you think that would have settled the matter*. )hat is the difference between half and full. ( man who does not want anything, knows no difference between full and half. )hat is difference between the half he wants and the half he abandons. ( man who can abandon half can abandon full. (nd a man who cannot abandon one half cannot abandon the other too. !or him neither half nor full is a settlement.)hen a man ask for half from me then " am the king. )hen a man does not ask any, " am a saint. The saint will give full. The king in me will refuse the man who demand. " m a king. Karna 9)here is the saint in you* /uryodhana. " know " am going to die in this war. )hich means " am giving up everything " have, even my life. $ere lies the saint. ............................................................................................ ... Outside /uryodhanas private abode is a hill from where one can see the preparations of war for tomorrow. >eaching on top of the hill Karna saw Kaurava army making its final preparations. Lke in all wars, the army has arrayed standard tools of war such as clubs of varied colours, inflammable oils that can spread instant panic and confusion, poisonous snakes and spears wet with snake poison. 4achines of various si%es for throwing boiling li#uid oil are already positioned strategically at the critical loc

ations in the war field.. esides all these, other paraphernalia of war such as $ot water spiked clubs, ,poison darts and metal missiles that shot flaming gases are put at various locations of the field. Karna then looked at the horses and the horsemen . One horseman is in charge of the two main horses and one each in charge of the horses on side wheels. ,lephants trained exclusively for the war, thousands of them, are standing in s single line, long enough to cover boundary of the field. ,ach elephant carried seven warriors who are skilled in martial arts.. 'ome of them are experts in hooks , some are bowmen, somes skilled "n using swords. There is one armed with a spear and a trident. (nd there are chariots. ,very chariot has a carefully woven security ring. The ring can be breached only by an exceptionally strong soldier. ,ach chariot is defended by by ten elephants ,each elephant by ten horses ,each horse by ten foot soldiers. "n reserve were chariots each protected by fifty elephants. These chariots were meant for the extraordinary fighters who are supposed to make exceptional contr ibution in winning the war. ,ach elephant covering their chariots have the prtection of a hndred horses. ,ach elephant has the security cover of seven foot soldiers. seeing the foot soldiers , a stray thought dropped in, fleetingly. )hy there is no protection for foot soldiers* "f /uryodhaha did not pick him at the right time, Karna would have ended as a a foot soldier covering a warrior on an elephant.. Karna-s heart sank when he looked at the animals being made ready for the war that will begin in the morning. They all looked resigned to accept the fate awaiting them. (nimals know. Karna saw in the air, the end of /uryodhana, $e knows hishma, the patriarch who has never been defeaed in any war will die in the war beginning tomorrow. . /raupati7s beautiful son, the prodigious prince t

(bhimnanyu who is reputed for creating magical victory in the battlefield, will fall in this war. /rona the rahmin who lost his way and taught warfare to princes, will see his end in this battlefield. $alf of the kings who ruled the earth will meet their death in this war. (ll the Kaurava brothers will be killed one way or the other. $undreds of thousands of men and animals will perish in this war, the war the saints hail as the war that will end all wars. Karna felt the stench of the decaying dead bodies that will dot the warfield tomorrow. $e saw blood marking the ground, creating gory forms in the soil. Karna moved away from the hill. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::: The wet bree%e stroke his senses as Karna stood by the river. The river he thought was, his mother when he was an infant, a friend when he was a boy and a lover when he grew up and a guru when he became an adult. (ll his prayers were said standing by this river . K(>6(,after a long breath started saying the most important prayer, perhaps the last in his life,to his !father, the 'un 2od. . Oh , father, have mercy on me and let me know the meaning of all that is happening to me . 4y undying destiny to kill my own brothers, my ordain to kill the 2urus who trained me to become the greatest warrior on earth and all those men and women who showered their love to the kid who lost his way .!ather, tell me why did you abandon me when my mother threw me in the waters moments after my birth, why did you chose to prolong my trauma of staying on this earth by keeping me alive all these years of orphanage , and why do you leave me alone now when the raging fire is trying me incessantly * " am a master of bows and arrows, " know , " am the master of everything " survey, 3et " do not know the answer to the simplest of the #uestions .who am "*

!ather, " do not know whom this war is fought for* 6obody wanted this war. 6obody , even my friend, /uryodhana, my patriarch hishma who cannot die without his will , my brother 3udhishtira who would not harm a fly, do not want this war.3et, war is breathing on everybody-s necks. (ll kings and princes, who revel in fighting , curse this war because they are great men and women with big hearts. (nd " am destined to fight and kill them, for what* !ather, there is peace in the skies. There is peace in the stars. )hy there is no peace on this earth * The earth gives everything men want, air, water, food , shelter. )hy it holds back peace* ::::::::::::::. 'un 2od smiled at his beloved son. Karna, 'un saw, was glowing like a 2od who left his abode in heaven and strayed on earth. 'un saw Karna7s eyes, glowing like stars that forgot to wink, but pure and deep. $is mighty forehead is high and shapely, hair dark and bushy. 6ose is 8urved , like a steady flow of a musical note. The 'un told himself 9 $e is proud like me. 54y son, 2od gave peace to all on this earth. ?ust like he gave water, earth and air, he provided peace for everybody. ut how many of you have the will to pick it up +* Karna asked 5)here is this peace. " havent seen any5. The 'un pointed at him and said 5"t is there5 " didn7t see any'un 2od smiled and said 5"t is in you, Karna, you have to look within 5 Look, now " will tell you this answer your were seeking for a long time.3ou were asking the answer of a #uestion you thought was simple . )ho am "* This is not a simple #uestion and that is the reason you didn7t find the answer so far. ut you will find the answer by yourself once you realise what " is . " is nothing. 6othing is ". (nd everything is nothing. To know this you have to see it t and to see

it, you have to travel more. (nd for now, " will tell you how you were born. 3ou were born to a princess. Out of a mantra she enchanted me.'he was &ust trying the efficacy of a 4antra given to her.(nd you were born to me. 'he could not tell others what happened because she was a princess.Then the last course. 'he abandoned you in 3amuna. The river 'aved you. 3ou landed in the hand of a horseman who brought you up to become the greatest warrior of all times, past, present and future. 6ow you know how you were born. ut " do not want to answer the #uestion who you are. Only you can find this answer and only those who go on asking the #uestion till he finds the answer, will find this answer. (nd about peace. 0eace is in you. 3ou have to look at it. )orld is made out of peace. Only men pierce holes in it. 0eace is like a still water, serene. "f you stir it, it gets stirred. "t will take time before it goes back to its old stillness. "ts state is stillness. Karna asked 54y father, is that all you can tell me* 4y dear son, " will tell you this. Only the one who lives beyond this world, will have peace. Try to know this from now. " will tell you this. )hat is beyond is not beyond you. "t7s within. Karna asked 9 !ather, do you have peace* ,ver since " know you, you were burning fiercely* )here is your peace* 'un. /o you notice this, all the time you see me smiling. " have been burning all the time . 3ou know it. "f " do not burn, Karna, it will be a cold death for all that bubble around you. " have to burn, " have no choice. ut " see beyond ". ecause " see beyond ", " have peace in me. ", the burning ", is the cause of all life. ::::::::::: Karna thought of /raupati, the day she first saw her. On the same

bank, on a winter evening, when the last ray of twilight was about to leave. $e saw her stretching herself to pick a fruit from a slanting branch of a mango tree on the bank of a chatting river. 'uddenly she saw me. 'he did not smile, " remember, but the glance she gave was fleeting like a lightning, blinding me completely. " stood there straight, looking at her. 'he finished collecting the fruits and turned to move away. ( moment. 'he turned and asked 5)ho are you5* Karna stood there like a kid first time on a sea shore. Then she repeated 5" am asking who are you5* Karna 5" am a passerby5. )hat are you doing here 5Looking at you5. This is palace garden and no intruder is allowed 5. 5" am no intruder. ut " am not going to tell you who " am 5 Karna said.

6o need, " know who you are. Then she smiled and said 5)hat do you want 5 5" want you5. Karna said. 5Take me if you can 5. 'he walked into the stream and disappeared. There is something, Karna thought, she has about the river behind. (n endlessness, something he could not gauge at that time, Karna thought. )hat lingered was a few rain drops around her armpit that gleamed like the speeding fireflies in the night. ( mighty rain came from nowhere, a parched mountain moaned and a storm whistled in ecstacy. (nd the rainbow that followed refused to go away, insisting to stay back for the night. "n sleep it lost its colours. )hich part of this skies it lost it , it does not know. "t asked the night where did

it lose its colours* "n a trunk of a banyan tree surrounded by meadows, or in a pair of twinkling eyes in which it found a solitary cloud, or in a harem the window of which opens at its very sight, it does not know it yet. ............................................................... (nd Karna thought why did he not take her with his might though shastras allow a king to do so. "n the heart of heart Karna knew what does not belong to you does not belong to you. (nd love does not belong to Karna. 8ertain lives are designed this way. That he was thrown away minutes after his birth is a design. "t is the same reason /raupati never told her love to him, though he knew very well her best love was reserved for him. (nd there was this premonition, she would never be able to tell that to me. Karna knew life is a picture of many colours. Love is only one of its splendour. (nd on this wall the painter decided not to use the colour of love , while splashing generously all other hues Karna had thought for a long time, he was the painter. "t took a longer time to know he was only a wall. $e could not decide lines. he could not decide the colours. 'omebody else did. Karna suddenly thought of the scene at /uryodhana7s palace. The 0andavas lost the war in 8hess and alongwith it , their kingdom, and whatever belongings they had. The last was /raupati. /raupati was dragged from the inner palace to the court. !or a long time, he thought the seed of the war was in /raupati7s humiliation. "t took sometime before he reali%ed it was the war itself , a proxy war. The seed was sowed long before, when and where , he did not know. ::::::::::: $is message to 3udhishttira for peace was the best appeal for peace ever written by a king to an ordinary man who aspires to be the king. 'till he addressed him as a king. + 4y dear yudhishtira, the kindest man known to civilised world. " am offering you praise.. 3ou also have a reputation of being kind to beings that are not human too. 3ou are affectionate and gentle to all that are living on this earth. (nd you have a colourful

lineage and a reputation of living upto this great lineage so far. .( mean deed, such as this war , would go against all that higher things you have been exhorting to the world relentlessly ever since you completed your education from great sages. The entire world know 3ou are a high minded man. (fter all these years of living at the highest plane, if you opt for a war , a shameful and mean act, you will live a life of remorse !or the rest of your life. "s it worth* 4y dear son,, is it worth* )hy do you want to spoil your reputation as the near 2od living this earth* That, " know is the least of your concern because " know you listen only to your conscience than the opinion of people. eing popular has never been your priority. ut if you will for a war, the war will taint you like dirt falling on pure white clothe. ". therefore believe you will not willingly do a thing that will ruin the entire world. 3our conscience will not permit you to do that. "f you but decide to that that will be the greatest sin because the act is done by the man whose duty is to protect the people who aspire to lead a normal life. Ordinary folks want to lead a simple beautiful life and the kings duty is to facilitate that. 4en of knowledge are not expected to push the common folk into a war, )ar is a certain way to hell. (re you bent upon on destroying the world* whether you will win or lose is of minor importance, )ise men know nobody wins a war, war wins over everybody. 3ou will be unhappy all your life if you kill your cousins and rule the kingdom .3ours will be a living death if you live after the death of your relatives... 4y son, give up your kingdom. " ask you to sacrifice it for the sake of the world. Those who give up are the ones who are really rich and blessed. /o not think of killing /uryodhana and his brothers who are your cousins, instead save their lives by abandoning your claim for kingdom. 3ou have the capability to destroy them, the entire world knows it. "f that is so, what are you trying to prove by actually killing them. 3ou are proving something the world already knows.

.........................here cannot be a better appeal for peace than the communi#u@ sent by /hritarashtra to /uryodhan The appeal was not to the 3udhishtira the King. The appeal was to the 3udhishtira of a higher plane. !rom the higher plane it was easy to see the vanity of the war and the meaninglessness of the destruction a war would lead to . The message did reach 3udhishtira, but by then he had vacated the higher plane for a new earthy abode. ...........................................................................................

s thoughts flew back to a night in the middle of a forest where he went

to meet a friendly hermit. The hermit was the one who taught him what is sleep and what is wakefulness and how the latter is an extension of the former and vice versa. Look, the hermit once told Karna, the universe is silent but all the time active, but men think the life is the Only action.. ut look at this life from the angle of the universe. !or the universe, which is silent and super active, this life of ours is an aberration, a sleep that is temporary. "t was late night. the hermit re#uested him to stay back, but Karna had to decline, for there was a meeting next day at the palace which was of some importance. The forest was not only thick but dark too. "t had in its fold a variety of scents of various species of flowers only a forest could hold in its fold . $e could hear the whistle of a sudden bree%e that left the bamboo trees singing. There were sounds of animals and birds, yet the forest was silent. Karna was en&oying his ride and he always en&oyed being in the forest, especially in the night, as it gave him the peace and warmth only a womb could give. Karna always wished for a life in this womb of tran#uility. 'uddenly, a cloud that hovered under the moon moved away, paving way for a golden glow to pour on the infinite mystery of the deep forest, triggering off a uni#ue excitement in Karna. (gain a bree%e flew in, bringing with it an intense scent of nightsmells. 'uddenly a leopard came from the bushes, followed by a bandicoot, a hare and a dog, a lion and a wolf. To his ama%ement, Karna noticed, though they were standing close to him, his presence did not have any bearing on them.

Karna felt they were waiting for something. )hat could a panther, lion and deer and a wolf and a bandicoot could wait in unison * "t was pu%%ling. Then Karna saw a movement in the woods and the sudden emergence of a man. The man came towards Karna and stopped a few feet away. $e was naked, stark. There is something about this man besides a halo of friendliness and karma noticed his hands did not automatically move to draw the sword. This naked man certainly is not an aggressor. (s he watched, the man moved forward with folded hands and said + "m ,k Lavya-. ,k Lavya, Karna repeated the name. The name &olted him. This name is etched in the annals of archery and warfare. The name bears a great story of archery skills taken to its next and next levels. The name is also repeatedly heard whenever teacher.disciple ties are discussed.. The stories about ,k Lavya describe him a boy living in the forest. $e learnt the skills of archery by watching from a tree top /rona (charya teaching Kauravas and 0andavas, the art of war. /rona discovered it one day when he and students heard a wail of a dog in deep pain. (nguished, the teacher and the disciples set out to reach the dog and when they saw it, "t turned out to be a sight that was never seen before. The /og writhing in pain had its mouth pierced with a bunch of arrows. )hat aroused the curiosity of /rona further was that there was no archer in sight which meant it could only be by a highly skilled archer who could shoot at the direction of the sound, not at a target in sight. 1ntil then /rona was teaching his students to focus on the target they saw, only the target, nothing else, when they take aim to shoot. /ronas skills did not go beyond that.

$e had declared (r&una the best archer in the world when the latter told him he would see only the neck of the bird , not even the full bird. The knowledge that the boy improved upon /ronas skills was destabili%ing and threatening. "n a moment, /rona asked him to give the teachers fee for learning , even if the learning was without the teachers consent. /rona had no right to ask for a fee, yet he asked. +)hat do you want * " will give you whatever you ask for + "n an instant /rona mumbled +2ive me your thumb-. /rona, unable to face his students, looked away in the skies. ,k Lavya didnt hesitate. $e cut his thumb and placed it before /rona, the (charya, who left the forest in a whiff , disregarding completely the bleeding hand of ,k Lavya. )hoever tells the story of ,k Lavya stops the story here. !or nobody knew what happened to him after that.

)hat are you thinking- ,k Lavya asked. The #uestion brought Karna back from his thoughts that had already wandered. " am Karna. " know, ,k Lavya said +)ho does not know you. 3ou are a king and the friend of /uryodhana. 3ou are known more as a friend of /uryodhaha. Karna said +" do not know about that, ut " am a friend of /uryodhana, indeed-. Then Karna asked the #uestion, the #uestion of curiosity. /o you still practice archery* +)e are grown up men. )e do not play with bows and arrows, like kids,k Lavya answered.

Karna remained stunned. Karna asked him +/o you know you are hailed as the greatest archer in the history of warfare-* )ho is hailing * The entire world. ,k Lavya asked +)hats wrong with the world* " was too small when " saw one day /rona and his kids moving in the forest doing something. "t was only my childish curiosity that made me watch them. The day " met /rona, " forgot archery from my mind. "t is useless-. Karna, who pride in being known as the best archer in the history of civili%ed world could not help asking this #uestion. +$ow does one concentrate to shoot at sound * $ow can you concentrate on the target without seeing it + ,k Lavya gave a pu%%led look at Karna before answering +4y shooting the dog was not an example of concentration-. Then what was it * Karna asked him. +"t was a lapse in concentration. This answer of ,k Lavya pushed Karna to a long silence. Karna did not gauge the soul of what ,k Lavya said but he knew it came from a fathomless mind. ,k Lavya continued + !irst of all, " should not have killed the dog, which was living in the forest the same way " live. "t was a lapse in my concentration that resulted in shooting at it. " carried the pangs of it for a long time.3ou being a man of knowledge , " would tell you this. " gave away my thumb not because /rona asked for it. " cut my thumb as a penance for killing an innocent dog. 'till it was not a matching sacrifice. The animal lost its life.-

)hat kind of concentration you are now speaking of. To this ,k lavya said +" concentrate on every moment. )hen you continue concentrating on a moment you would discover that a moment is made of several smaller moments and once you discover this you would strive to focus on the smallest fraction of it. 'tart doing it, you will go on discovering lives within life. )hen you meet the tiniest fraction of the moment, you discover the expanse of universe. Then ,k Lavya asked Karna this #uestion- " did not understand why /rona, the old man, was teaching the kids how to shoot arrows. Old men are supposed to be wise men who know archery will not make life happier* Then ,k Lavya added +Knowledge in archery is useless knowledge. Life is too precious to waste on such frivolities. )hy was /rona doing this* Karna did not have an answer. ut when ,k Lavya insisted for an answer, Karna, after some hesitation, said + The entire world should live in forests. Life outside the forest is lifeless and dangerous-. ............................................................................................ . " met /raupati again. (gain by the riverside., in the #uiet of an evening, she came where Karna used to sit in solitude. There was an unusual urgency as she spoke.5" have a mission. ( purpose for which " was born.5. 'he did not say anything further and smiled. " returned the smile., " remember. ut she smiled, brightening her curly hair that danced in the wind and the eyes that always recited a mysterious mantra. The river by her side reflected her in complete perfection.. 'he was part of the trees, skies and the stars above and the moonlit nigt and everything that you can see and everthing that you cannot see also. .. . 'he has descended directly from them, Karna thought . " want to say this , she woke up Karna from his myriad thoughts.

'ay, " encouraged her . 'he continued 5 3ou believed, once upon a time, you could win my love, by con#uering the other kings in 'wayamvara . Karna , 3ou know,you are luckier than those who won me in swayamvar.. They got me, but they did not win me. 4y physical manifestation is only a small part of me. They do not know it.. 5"f you had willed, we could have lived together5 /raupati smiled. The woman in me yearned for it, long ago. ut you know " am not an ordinary woman,." still have miles to go. " carry a weight behind my back and " would not be able to unload it5. Karna did not ask what this weight was. That would have been improper, for /raupati has a reputation of one who knows the beyond. ut it is certain she has decided to look after the 0andavas, her five husbands. 'he mothers them and has taken the responsibility of ensuring they survived the war. "f " kill them " would be failing /raupati. ut Karna suddenly asked her 5)hen you will be able to unload it* ( cloud made a sudden visit on her face and her bloody cheeks turned pale. 'he raised her head to look straight into my eyes and said 5 y the time " unload it, 3ou would not be there. 'he paused for a second 5This is my destiny and yours5 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The war in fact began <A years ago with a single dice game. ( simple game of dice that would bring about the same end a war would bring forth. The game of kings, a game of chance, had kicked off that disastrous wave of events which ultimately resolved into this colossal war.

(nd this war is threatening to wipe off the human race from the earth. ecause arraying on both sides are the most skilled warriors with weapons that can destroy the entire world many times over. The survival of the world is a #uestion mark now.. The game was played at the behest of /uryodhan by his uncle 'akuni, the king of a small province. The world know him as the genius in plotting disasters. 'akuni wanted to bring down the pandavas into an epic tragedy through a simple dice game. )hen ordinary folks trained their warriors and army to destroy the enemy, 'akuni trained his mind to simplify the process of destruction by a dice game that would bring about the same end a war could bring. $e was fre#uently heard boasting +" simplified war into a dice game. The entire world ought to be grateful to me +. 2reat men had urged /uryofhan not to play a game of chance as the player will have no control over the outcome. 3et $e played against the wishes of his brothers, nobles, royal advisers, rishis and the countrymen. 3udhishtira entered a contest he was certain to lose. The entire world watched 3udhishtira walking into the trap of a war by other means . + Only " know what " know and " cant let the world know what " know-. $e mumbled. (nd he lost everything, one by one. $is cows, ,gold reserve, &ewellery, villages ,towns and the entire kingdom. 6othing was left except /raupati and his brothers. /hishtira resumed the game pawning his brothers one by one .$e lost heema the strongest man who won wars on his own muscle power. Then he lost (r&una the greatest archer with divine weapons that can destroy the world several times over. The next were 6akula and 'ahadeva. One the handsomest and the other the best strategist (ll were taken over as slaves..

3udhishtira, the man who is closest to 2od did not stop there too. $e pawned /raupati. 'he, the daughter of one of the most powerful kings and the only wife of the five most gifted men in the world was dragged from one of the interior rooms to the assembly room 'he was half naked. The crowd of kings and nobility fell into a deaf silence (t the events that took a sudden twist. The pounding silence was not enough for the patriarch to intervene and stop the bi%arre happenings. $is face was bland and unreadable. 3et /raupati fell on the patriarchs feet. $e gave mercy. !reed her and the husbands from the impending slavery but did it with the pomposity of a victor who gives out alms to the subdued. $e announced, +,verybody is set free. "ncluding /raupati. ut you have to leave the country for <A years-. "t was a command. B.!ive 0andavas and /raupati left for forest. ....................................................................... Karna could not reconcile the indifference of heema ./rona and Cidur who were passively witnessing the goings on on that day.The dice game was blatantly immoral, though marginally legal. The game had the consent of the 0andavas, they were told what was at the stake, yet they played the game and lost it. The stoic calm of 3udhishtira, amidst the heap of losses was pu%%ling.. $is face was even brightening each time he lost. $e stayed that way even when he gave up /raupati

Karna , after several days asked heeshma + 3ou could have made am honourable encounter, a war, instead of a dice game , to beat the 0andavas. The /ice game victory will be a blemish on the history of kauravas . "t has already made heroes out of 0andavasheeshma smiled and said + "t was my decision-. )hy* ( stunned Karna asked. The dice game saved the pandavasheeshma then elaborated +The whole world that blamed me did not know war was looming with two kings who hate each other. ruling ad&acent kingdom. oth sides were waiting for an opportunity to finish the other. " had decided to send one of them away to avoid the tragedy. " still do not think it is possible, but " have the satisfaction that at least " had postponed the inevitable-. (nd he continued, + 4y choice is between a dice game and a war. (nd the Kaurvas did not have the strength to win the war, at least for now. heeshma said + 3udhishtira knew this, therefore agreed to the planned defeat an honourable exit "t was the only honourable exit for the 0andavas, Karna thought. The patriarch thought the years of living in forest would educate the 0andavas about the deeper meaning of life. The desire for a Kingdom would wane, eventually. ...................................................................... That was where heeshma did make the mistake. 0andavas crush for living life royally grew as years passed by, Karna thought. (fter <A years of exile 0andavas wanted the war to get their kingdom back. . ( war is in the air. "t was in the air <A years ago. )ar once it shows its face. )ould not go away until it is fought to the hilt. "t is foolish to wish it away, except that one can postpone its

emminenceB. Then karna thought of /raupati ,how he remained a silent witness when /raupati was dragged before the (ssembly. eing stripped, almost naked. Karna reali%ed for the first time that life offers more farcical moments than the most exciting farces The only colour Karna saw to a life that has been intimidating him has been his passion for /raupati whose mind is as seductive as her body. 3et he did not make a move to stop the stiff humiliation meted out to her by the Kauravas. $e knew /uryodhan was using /raupati to land the multipronged insult to 0andavas, who are renowned as the five greatest men in the history of civilised world. That reputation met an end with the dice game. 2reatness , /uryodhana believed, is in being great, not in being known as great. Karnas surprise came when he discovered that /raupati did not hold this against Karna. he remaining indifferent to her trying moments. 'he told him later, much later-you loved /uryodhana. " respect that love.3our love for /uryodhana is the halo around you. There is a lesson of /harma and Karma in it. " would have hated you if you had done anything against your friendut Karna rued his indifference to those moments of /raupati. "t was one of the several similar moments he has faced in life.$e accounted them for the price he paid for hiding his identity. ( word from him to /uryodhana would have altered the entire course of events. ............................................................................................ heedhmas voice echoed from nowhere. " cannot ask /uryodhana to give up "ndraprastha to 0andavas because " had not allowed him to con#uer the 0andavas when it was possible for him to do it with ease. + " saw drops of sweat drpping from heeshmas chin.

0andavas crush for living life royally had grown with the years passed by, Karna thought. (fter <A years of exile 0andavas wanted the war to get their kingdom back. They are prepared now. . ............................................................................................ 5 " came to see you.5 Karna turned to look behind. /raupati was standing silhouetted against the setting 'un with her face flaming lke a meteor on the rise. . Karna ,for a moment,thought he would perish in her heat. D" 8ame to see you, she repeated. 5" guessed that much5.Karna said. 5 ut you do not know why " came 5 'he . Karna said7 " know why. ut " am not going to tell you 5. /raupati7s face lowered. ( moment7s pause, she raised her head and said 5" want you to forgive me 5. 0lease5 /raupati 5 ut you are speaking not knowing what for " am seeking this forgiveness7. /raupati for a moment gasped for breath. Then she whispered 5 " loved you5. 'he again paused before she whispered 5(ll the time " have been thinking of you. (nd 3ou forgive me for not saying this before. Though " have my reasons,my reasons do not amount to an excuse. 6ot saying one7s love to the loved is a sin to oneself and the other . ut that is my life and my destiny5 5 ut expression of love is free from one7s will. !or love has no

confinement. "t manifests in the thought. Or even in thoughlesness. "t is not the yearning of body, nor mind7s. "t exists, the way light exists, the way water exists, the way air exists. (nd it is the longing of rahma. /o not feel sorry , if " had not expressed it in words. ut you felt it, " know, because your love reaches me all the time, in all the breath " inhale. Love is an element by itself."t manifests in sunlight, it manifests in the dark of the night , it comes in rains and moonlight, and it gives me my breath .. "t has been there, " know, because there were days " stood still from dawn to night , on the other side of this river with only one thought in my mind. 3ou cannot miss that, Karna7. Karna did not say a word. $e looked over /raupati7s shoulders.There is the setting 'un and the intruding darkness. ( darkness threatening to stay for ever. "n the midst are /raupati5s dancing curls . $e looked into her eyes. "t is dark and deep, #uiet and restless, empty and full. The enigma that surrounds /raupati, like a mist in sunshine, begins vanishing. /raupati continued 5 3ou may be wondering, why " did not say this before. "f " had told you this before, you would have con#uered this world5. (t this Karna asked 5 )hat if " had con#uered the world5* /raupati smiled for the first time 53ou would have con#uered the world.That was certain. ut it was not ordained, " know, because " am only part human. " am part goddess also. The 0andavas would have perished under your might which had no parallel in the heaven, nor earth. " had to take you to the path of 2od. " have taken upon the task of initiating that &ourney of yours. 2od is miles ahead of an emperor. " wanted you to see the 2od, not the emperor.5 56ow war is a few hours away. " chose this time to tell you " have loved you with all my might.5 Karna said 5 )hy do you chose this hour of night to tell me this*5 5

/raupati smiled for the second time 5 ecause you are going to the war and certainly get killed. 5 3ou were only a man till " said 5no5 to you. (t that moment all that you thought big came to a nought. 3our love of /urydhana,your love for /harma, your love for Karma everything came to a nought. ,ven your hatred towards 0andavas, which you loved most, disappeared in a fraction of a second5. /raupati said 5 The beginning of your &ourney was with my 56o5. Karna asked 5 )hy did you do this. /raupati said 5 " loved you too much. " want you to go past my love. Love is a prison with no doors for escape." loved you, the woman in me loved you. " failed to go past it though " did try hard . 6ow you are personification of this world7s beauty. (nd the woman in me is crying, because she cannot look at it5. Karna asked her 5why are you saying this now, knowing well that my death is imminent5E 56othing gives more &oy for a woman than saying her love to her man. 6ow " said it, and " said it and " said itB5 $er sweat brings the smell of wet sandal leaves. The bree%e would be carrying her fragrance into distant places, through the thick foliage of forests, rivers,plateaus and mountains, Karna thought and wondered whether he would.have felt &ealous of the forests and rivers which smell /raupati7s sweat. 8ertainly, if the rendevou% had taken place a few years before. Karna said 53ou are giving me something " would have loved years ago. 6ow it came this way. Let us be content with it now 5 :::::::.. Karna recalled a conversation he had had long ago. /raupati is capable of conversing with you for hours, still keping a depressing distance.

/id you read 6atyashastra* 3es. 'he said. "t says all the life is a stage. The earth, skies and seas are all players in the drama. ( stage is only a miniature of life. /raupati gave a disagreeing look and said 5 all are not players. 'ome are masters directing the players. Karna said 5That was what " too thought for a long time. ut when " foresee a war, when " see the people who are certain to perish in this war, then " know no man would evoke as much sympathy as the one who thinks he is a master. 6either the spectator, director, nor the player decide the drama. "t &ust happens. /raupati said 5Karna, " know you now, " understand that mysterious smile of yours5 Then she said BThis knowledge is 2od7s gift to you. (ll that pain 2od brought upon you is 2od7s way of readying you to know the truth5. /raupati told him. " had to say this. " am responsible for the five pandavas. They are my kids. They will be rudderless if " am not with them. Karna. you can live without me, but they cannot. 6ow tell me, the king who never wanted to rule the kingdom, with whom " should go, with the five 0andavas or with you * " give the choice to you and " will obey your verdict. .Karna didn7t blink for a moment 52o with the 0andavas. They are nice kids, and this is the hour they need you most. /o not abandon them. (nd do not worry about me, because " know my route and " can walk alone7 ............................................................................................ ............... The darkness intensified. as Karna began preparing to recite the

final mantra. Kunti stopped two feet away from him, chosing to wait till he finished chanting. 'ilence is stark except the sound of a passerby bree%e. Karna :. 5 Kunti called out. $e turned and looked at her. The rende%vous he yearned in his childhood is happening when he least wanted. "s this the logic of destiny that brings the ob&ects of your desire, when you went past it, or is it an individual destiny*. Karna looked at her. 'potless white sari. The rulers7 confident forehead..Long arms reaching the knees, shapely long fingers, a curved royal nose and a salt and pepper hair. 'he has an air of a )oman in command. ut Karna thought with a suppressed smile , she failed in everything she set out to do. .This is the woman who threw me in the river, in the dark of the night, hours perhaps minutes after " was born. 2od, Karna thought, the master of all creativity in this world, had created a mind that could do this.Then Karna thought, it was 2od who created seven colours and the millions of its combinations. $a my mother. (nd Karna is Karna because of the Kunti and that river. )hat, if she had not done it, " would have ruled the world, but " would not have been able to travel beyond hori%on. "t has been #uite a sight, out there is where " heard the heartbeat of 2od, the notes that penetrated the innards of my soul.Thanks to my mother. Karna then smiled at the humour of his own thought.. Kunti read this smile. 'he smiled at him and said 5" know this smile. This is the brightest smile " have ever seen, she said and added , the funniest. $e thought Kunti would move to give him a hug. ut she stood where she stood and told him 5 3ou think you are a greater human being, a martyr, because " threw you in the river. That is reason of your confident silence. (nd you think " am a dirt who came to seek your help when pushed to the wall. Karna told her 5 3ou are assuming things. " am not going to kill your sons. They may not know " am their eldest brother. ut " know. (nd

even if they are not my brothers, " am not going to kill them.. " am not going to kill anybody in this war5 !or this, Kunti smiled73ou are going to this war, " know it for certain. (nd you will kill many people, whether you like it or not. Karna, if you do not fight this war for your side, everything, including the thousands of soldiers who depend on you for their lives, will perish, and the warrior in you could not allow that to happen. 3ou will rather fight for them and die. This is your destinty. 5 Karna thought for a while. 4any people, whether you like it or not. Karna, that is your destinty. Karna thought perhaps she is correct but could not gauge why she is saying this. efore karna could complete his thought, Kunit told him54y son, " came to say this to you. There was not a single moment in my life " did not think of you5. This, Karna thought, does not explain why she had chosen to throw her first child in the river. Kunti said 5" did abandon you, and for a long time " thought you were dead. " knew it after <F years that you were alive.5 Karna asked her 5were you happy when you learnt " were alive5. Kunti gave a bewildered look. 'he stared into KarnaG7s eyes. Karna in turn was probing into her eyes. "n the end both of them laughed. Kunit said 5"n fact we can do without it5 5)hat5 Karna asked . 5)e can do without staring into each other7s eyes. "n fact we would not be able to find anything we did not know of each other.5 'he could be right. $e was trying ever since he gained the faculty to think, to figure the mind of a woman who could throw her child in the water. 'he also may have tried to fathom the mind of the son who knew

his mother threw him in the water. Karna suddenly reminded her .3ou did not answer my #uestion. Kunti said 5 " tell you the truth now. " was not happy when " learnt this from the chief of our spies. "t brought alive all those " had buried in the deepest recess of my mind.5 Karna was getting irritated. $er frankness, her ability to read his mind, and the command with which she treated him irritated him. 'he, he thought, has no need to act this way. (nd what pu%%led him most was that she did not show any sign of guilt. !irst time in many years, Karna really became angry and shouted 5 )hat brought you to me at this hour of the night5 Kunti did not answer this #uestion. "nstead said 5 " am proud of you. (nd do not think that " am proud of you for becoming the greatest warrior in history. )arriors die in the battlefield , cowards win the wars.5 3ou do not know it, " do know. ut what makes me proud of you is the way you have grown.3ou have outgrown the times you are living. 3ou gave up everything you had. (nd ready to give your life too to those who ask for it. " have abandoned you . "n turn you settled the score with the world by abandoning it. ecause you did not find it heroic to con#uer something you cannot respect. Karna stood in silence. Karna never wanted to possess anything seriously. "f at all , it was /raupati7s love, that also for a brief period. /raupati is a bree%e that declined to go away. "t is not possible to possess a bree%e. "t took sometime before he reali%ed life is a bree%e one cannot hold on to. Kunti again pu%%led him 5" know what you think. ut " cannot think the way you think. " am not born to think like you.5.

Then Karna asked him 5 /o you want me not to fight your five kids5 'he said 56o. " do not ask you that. " have no right . ut it is up to you to fight them or not to fight. ut they will fight with you any way5 Karna asked 5(re you not scared of this war. (ll your beloved sons may get killed in the war5 5They may. They may not also. $ow do you expect me, who threw her first son in the water, to be bothered by such thoughts5 Karna thought for a while. 'uddenly a thought flashed, like a ray of light.0erhaps Kunti can avoid this war.The only person who can avoid this war. $e said 5if you tell your sons that " am their eldest brother, there may not be any war. )hy can7t you tell this, there are still a few more hours to go before the war takes place. 'he smiled and told Karna H " am not going to tell this to them* Karna asked 5)hy5* H ecause, the moment " tell them, they will put their arms down. There will not be any war. (nd this war will have to take place.5 Karna asked 5why5* " am a #ueen, and " have to do &ustice to this position. 'he paused for a while and repeated 5 " am a #ueen. "t was the #ueen who threw you in the river. "t is the #ueen who sends her sons to the war field. Only a #ueen can do both. Iueens do not run away from a war5 Karna bent down to touch her feet. efore his fingers reached her toes, he felt the warmth of the tears, that flowed profusely from her. Karna put his arm around her shoulder and said 5 " do not understand you." travelled far ahead of you, probably to escape the pain " had been going through. " can see the love you kept for me, like a woman who kept herself awake till dawn to give the specially

cooked dinner to the son who said he would come late . Kunti said 7 efore " leave, " want to answer your one and only #uestion.why " came here, now . The answer is this 5" wanted to show you what " have hidden in my heart5 (nd she moved away, her white clothes fading into the dark of the night. Then Karna thought of Krishna. The mystery of the smile buried between his lips is finally unraveled 9"t is this. there are seven colours in the world. ut all colours come from white. 1ltimately they go back to white alone. One who knows this secret. could smile, all the time. Karna smiled. "n a moment7s inspiration, Karna ran after Kunti, blocked her way and told her 5 Thanks for the freedom you brought for me. The moment you threw me in the water, " became a free man. 3ou lived your life in chains, losing your right even to love. " understand you nowH. ::::. Karna turned to leave the bank. 0erhaps " will never be able to meet this river again. 4ay be my ashes will flow in this river, tomorrow or day after or day after. Karna visualised a whistling arrow piercing his chest.The arrow will be shot by (r&una, or /hrushtadyumna, or an accidental one from an unknown soldier. (n arrow is earmarked for me in this war, certain. Karna is relieved of the thought of death. )hat would /uryodhana feel on hearing his death *. 0erhaps /uryodhana will be the only one who gets hurt at the news of my death. " am his emotional security. /raupati has already accepted my death.Karna wondered whether Kunti will be relieved at the thought that her other five sons are safe. 5)ait a moment, Karna , my son5, Karna looked around. 6obody. "t is night , full.fledged night.. (gain the voice came.56o, not yet, Karna, somebody still remains5 The voice continued 5" am the banyan tree you have been meditating

under throughout your life. " have never spoken to you before, but now " want to speak5 "t7s pitch dark. Karna is not surprised for he has reached a stage not to be taken aback by anything. The voice continued 5" have seen all the stages of your life. " was the one who saw you being thrown in the river.5 5 " stopped you now because " want to bless you.5 Karna was upset at this suggestion.5)hat blessings* "f you bless me to win this war, " consider this a curse. "f you bless me to live long, " would consider it a curse. )hat will you bless me with 5The banyan tree said 5 " am not blessing you with anything. lessing is a thing by itself. lessing, the tree smiled, contain lot of affection. 3ou know, #uite a lot of affections5 Karna ,, there is no sound in my voice. This is how " speak. This is how all the trees speak. )e speak without sound.. Karna thought the tree has been living a cursed life for centuries. though it has thought, visions, knowledge., yet cannot move an inch. Like a lonely prisoner .. Tree laughed at the suggestion 76o my dear boy, a tree7s life is much more precious than the human being7s lives. ( tree is born after several thousands of birth as human beings. " can live without you. ut you cannot live without me. This is a blessing we get after meditating for so many births.)e are the trusted lieutenants of 2od . " give shadows, " give food, " provide shelter, " give everything " have. (nd you feel pity, for " am standing alone in one place. /o you know that " do not want to move. (ll movements spring from insecurity. (ll desire for movement comes from the thought of being imperfect. (nd all movement has one single aim. (ny movement is a migration from a set of surroundings to a new one, . it is a result of

a perennial feeling of insecurity. )hich is the state you love to be in , the tree asked karna Karna said 5mediation5 /o you like to move when you are in meditation 6o ( tree is in a state of perennial meditation.5 This is by its choice. )hen you desire it intently for many births, you get the wish granted5. This is the reason 'anyasis meditate under tree .Tree is the master meditator. (nd it is under the trees, sanyasis get enligthment. $e who meditates under a tree gets its blessings5. " do not want to move, because " have no need, no end. (nd " do a greater service to this world than the things that move. 6ow Karna, " love you. " find myself in you. 3ou lived for others, though nobody lived for you. 'imilarly " do not eat my fruits.3ou do gift away every thing you loved. 3et you were the one found expendable by all. The son of 'un 2od, you will be remembered in this world as the 2od who strayed on this earth briefly. ..................................................................... Karna bowed his head . hishma was lying, waiting for death. hishma , the one who got the boon from 2od to die at will, only at his will, is lying on a bed of arrows. )ith each arrow percing the flesh, hishma decides not to die, for, he thinks, it is not the time to die,for his beloved men and women are engaged in a war. Then how can he* Karna asked hishma. /on7t you think world will be a better place to live,if men and women think of their own death, which nobody can duck* hishma said 5" think people think of death all the time5*

Karna said 5" do not think so. ecause the one who thinks of death knows death.. $e who knows of death, knows of life. (nd the one who knows of life would not venture to fight. hishma said 5" know of death.3et " decided to fight5. hishma smiled after saying this. (nd continued to smile till his expression changed. 'hanti, he said. Then he raised his hand to stroke Karna7s forehead. 4y son, hishma paused for a while, and asked . 5$ave you ever traveled for a longer distance 5 3es, " traveled in a chariot for three days and three nights. !rom 4adura to 1&&ain "t was an important mission, to reach a nessage. The mission was to warn the king of an invasion his neighbouring king was planning. hishma asked 5)as it an important mission5* Karna said 5yes5 5" believe all the time, the three days and three nights, you were thinking of the mission * Karna said 56o5 Then what were you doing5 hishma asked 5" played chess5 Then* hishma 5" sang songs5 Then * hishma " ate food Then * hishma

" told stories Then* hishma 5" had sex with a Kanya5 Then * hishma Then " reached 1&&ain Ok who won in the chess * hishma 5"5 " believe when you played 8hess you did not think of the mission you were carrying our * Katna answered +6out when you played chess you forgot that you were traveling* Karna said +6o . " did not forget-. Then $ow did you play chess * asked ; hishma 5" put everything, my concentration, myself, everything in the game. said Karna. 5Then it means you did not think of your travel and mission when you were playing chess5 asked hishma. Karna said 53es, no.. " did not think of travelling until " closed in at 1&&ain." did not think of travelling, when " told stories, when " made love to the Kanya, when " sang songs. )hy should " think of travelling. (fter a pause he said " knew " was travelling, but why should " think of it5 hishma said ."t is in the same way men think of death. 4en know of death.They know they are dying. ut they do not think of it. )hether you think of the &ourney to 1&&ain or not, you will reach 1&&ain. 3ou know that your chariot is heading to 1&&ain, and you will reach there whatever you do in the chariot.. 3ou want to do something before you

reach 1&&ain. )hen you do something, you do not think of your mission and &ourney. ut you do not forget either. hishma stopped again, looked at a pu%%led Karna and continued 5 "t is the knowledge of &ourney that make you do things 5. Karna did not say anything. 'o Karna, you did everything in the chariot , before you reached 1&&ain. 3et you knew all the time you were travelling.Life is a &ourney in the chariot that leads to death. )hat you do before you reach there is all aimed at circumventing the boredom of the long wait to reach there. This is the secret of life. Karna stared at him before he asked 5Then why you do not prefer to die, 3ou can do that 0itamaha, no* " can do that. " can feel my death in my hand. (nd before " greet death, " want to complete the play in which " am acting. " en&oy my role because " know a curtain is waiting there, and whatever you do, however well you play your role, the curtain will fall, inevitably.The more you know of the curtain, the better you play. (nd whatever you do is a play. ............................................................................................ JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ