Zbarskaya 1 Title: Challenges and Trials en Route Topic: Divisions, conflicts, multiple forces within the self

Regina Zbarskaya Ms. Nichole Wilson AP Literature and Composition 7 April 2014

I have read and understand the sections in the Student Handbook regarding Mason High School's Honesty/Cheating Policy. By affixing this statement to the title page of my paper, I am certifying that I have not cheated or plagiarized in the process of completing this assignment. If it is found that cheating and/or plagiarism did take place in the writing of this paper, I understand the possible consequences of the act, which could include a "0" on the paper, as well as an "F" as a final grade in the course.

Zbarskaya 2 Regina Zbarskaya Ms. Nichole Wilson AP Literature and Composition 7 April 2014 Challenges and Trials en Route The mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that only takes a single, slightly contradicting opinion to disrupt into a storm of chaos. Adolescents in particular are most vulnerable to suggestion, as according to Erikson, as they are seeking to establish a sense of self, and may experiment with roles, activities and behaviors, in forming a strong identity (Cherry). While experimentation with new activities is one way to discover oneself, restrictions and obstacles provide a stronger validation of ones beliefs. Internal conflict results from the pressure generated by restrictions combined with the desire to follow ones own path, initially causing the individual to be set back, but eventually forcing them to choose the option that they can best live with, thereby revealing who they really are. The main component generating inner turmoil is the constraints brought about by anothers overbearing advice. Words in particular have a strong binding effect on the thoughts of others, especially expressions involving the fulfillment of standards. In regards to severity, the cruelest form of punishment a parent can inflict on a child is emotional rather than physical, such as through the words, I am disappointed in you. Janies grandmother exemplifies the use of this tactic as she tells Janie to have sympathy fuh [her] and to put [her] down easy as she is a cracked plate as Janie tries to explain why she does not want to marry Logan Killicks (Hurston, 19-20). Janies grandmother uses guilt to force Janie to drop the topic. In the event of a discrepancy in a childs behavior, the child did not conform to the standards the parent

Zbarskaya 3 previously established and as a result feels inner turmoil for disobeying their parents in favor of doing something they desired. This is seen in Lisa Parkers Snapping Beans where the narrator deviates from her grandmothers expectations and finds herself tearing, splitting [herself] apart with the slower-simmering guilt of being happy in her new situation. The desire for both of these women to follow their own path directly conflicts with the expectations their elders have set upon them, causing both Janie and Lisa Parker to feel guilt for their actions. This guilt, however, will be key in allowing them greater satisfaction and freedom when they break away from the constraints of their familys expectations. The words of parents determined to steer their children in a certain direction place a heavy burden upon the thoughts of the children, effectively seeping through the psyche of the individuals and causing turmoil within the childrens thoughts. Upon Janies outburst that she did not love Logan Killicks, her grandmother advised her to wait awhile because Janies mind [would] change with time (Hurston, 24). Janie proceeded to reconsider her thoughts, [asking] inside of herself and out, moving back and forth to the pear tree continuously wondering and thinking (Hurston, 21). Similar to Janies situation, Balram felt the pressure of his fathers words that at least one son of [his father]-at least one-should live like a man (Adiga, 26). Conflicted over the idea of killing his employer, he debated between the idea that his father wanted [him] to be an honest man, and the fact that Mr. Ashok made [him] take the blame when his wife killed [the] child on the road (Adiga, 210). Balram saw his father as a poor man, but a man of honor and courage, and the values that his father instilled in him during his childhood kept Balram on the border between killing his employer and staying as his faithful employee (Adiga, 19). Janie and Lisa Parker felt guilt for initially defying their elders beliefs, yet as the situation progresses, Janie and Balram demonstrate a sense of turmoil afflicting their

Zbarskaya 4 thoughts as they attempt to balance following their desires and conforming to standards. Each is balancing on an emotional teeter totter with every situation swinging the balance slightly one way and then the other. Eventually, they will be forced to come to a solution to their confliction, but the turmoil allows them to carefully evaluate what exactly sits right with them. While the restraints mentioned above were brought about by individuals, others can also be formed by societal or cultural expectations. In On the Sonnet, John Keats questions the validity of conforming to the traditional form of sonnets, asking if in the sonnet the English must be chaind does it then mean that creativity must be constraind? (Keats). As Keats explores this question through the progression of the poem, a conflict within the narrator arises as to whether he should adhere to the old form or break free, evident in the authors decision to conform to sonnet form in the beginning but break it in the middle before finally returning to it in the end. A similar conflict is present within Gogol in The Namesake, particularly over how Gogol identifies himself based on the cultures influencing him. He knew little about Russian writers, yet still felt [dismal] that his parents chose the weirdest namesake, yet went on to blame himself for ruining that first day of kindergarten that could have changed everything, potentially giving him an alternative identity like his parents when they went back to India (Lahiri, 76). He is conflicted over who to blame for his discomfort and over which cultural identity he should conform to. He does not want to accept the Russian heritance the name carries, and he blames his parents culture for establishing the two name rule, and yet at the same time he pines for their culture of two names because it could have been a solution to his conflict over his identity as well as a connection to his parents. All of the aforementioned outside influences hold a large amount of power over individuals, particularly in their ability to cause emotional unrest. As an individual experiences this turbulence, a negative side effect is that they can lose

Zbarskaya 5 themselves and their perspective of the world around them, including the relationships they have previously established. While this is a part of the stumbling process to self-discovery, it can irreversibly break the communication between two opposing individuals. The tug-of-war occurring in an individuals mind causes a dissonance in their relationships with others, especially because they may feel a barrier between the person causing the turmoil and themselves due to the difference in opinions. Referring back to Lisa Parkers Snapping Beans, the narrator debates with herself over whether or not to tell her grandmother of all the things she learned in school, knowing that her grandmother disapproves of them. The repetition of I wanted four times shows the inner conflict of the girl desperately wanting to tell her grandmother everything, but the word wanted indicates she never did (Parker). The lack of communication between the grandmother and the narrator is evident as they didnt speak to each other at the beginning and the silence experienced between when the grandma stopped humming and asked the question Hows school a-goin? shows further dissipation between the grandmother and her granddaughter (Parker). The desire of the narrator to explain her thoughts to her grandmother is reverberated in The White Tiger, as communication between Balram and his employer, Ashoke, breaks down as a result of Balrams growing cynicism. As Ashoke asks Balram a question, Balram thinks of an answer and wishes he could have told him [it] openly, instead cynically responding to himself with, but who was I? Just the driver, indicating that the conflict within himself stops him from speaking his thoughts out loud to the man he once greatly admired (Adiga, 185). This lack of communication is further accentuated when Ashoke and Balram go out to eat, and Ashoke comments that he [liked] eating [Balrams] kind of food, but Balram could not even bring himself to respond, instead just thinking, I like eating your kind of food too (Adiga, 203). Even a simple thought such as that one ended up stuck in Balrams

Zbarskaya 6 throat, indicating that communication between the two was severely damaged when even the slightest phrase was hard to enunciate. Gogol from The Namesake, goes as far as to completely severe communication by pretending not to hear when his mother tells him to call after he gets home safely (Lahiri, 150). And his father senses the dissonance between the two, as he chooses to keep the explanation of his sons name to himself when he notices the cassette of classical Indian music hed bought for Gogol still sealed in its wrapper (Lahiri, 78). Gogols rejection of his fathers gift, which can be seen as a tool for communication, indicates that Gogol fully rejects Ashoks attempt at conversation and Ashok realizes this and ceases to try to communicate. The conflict within all of the individuals, including Gogol, blinds them to the outside world around them because of the mess within them. They establish a barrier to try to shut out the world and in doing so further complicate the already conflicting nature of their relationship to the other individual. Although the conflict from the outside force does put the individuals relationships into a predicament, ultimately it forces the individual to pick a choice and live with it. After being trapped under conflicting feelings for his employer, Balram realizes that there really was no difference between his employer and his brother, a cruel and heartless man (Adiga, 206). It is then that Balram realizes that he cant live the rest of [his] life in a cage and apologizes to his grandmother before thinking to himself that hes already done it; that in [his] heart [hes] already taken [the money] and killed his employer (Adiga, 239, 209). After coming to that conclusion, Balram feels liberated and while understanding the repercussions of his decision, that it was a wrong thing to do and that it has darkened [his] soul, he is able to move on and start his own car company; he was a driver to a master, but now [is] a master of drivers (Adiga, 259, 273). Likewise, after being in a relationship with Tea Cake, Janie comes to the conclusion that

Zbarskaya 7 her relationship was no business proposition, and no race after property and titles, it was a love game and she was done [living] grandmas way; she was ready to start living her own life (Hurston, 114). This realization allowed her to fully experience her relationship with Tea Cake and decide that she pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net after spending time with him and realizing what a true relationship meant (Hurston, 193). Even Gogol himself decides his name is something special after all of the trials and tribulations he has endured. When considering the fact that nearly all members that knew him as Gogol have vanished, he realizes that the thought of [the] eventual demise of his own name [provided] no sense of victory, no solace to him (Lahiri, 289). The very thing that he wanted to throw away, he now wanted to cherish and keep. Even the very book he was given on his birthday that was quickly tossed onto the bookshelf made him anxious to return to his room, to be alone, to read the book he had once forsaken, has abandoned until now (Lahiri, 290). In the end, Gogol saw his family as a string of accidents and yet these events have formed Gogol, shaped him, determined who he is (Lahiri, 286-287). Gogol has learned to accept his cultural influences and mesh them with his Americanized identity. He finally accepts all parts of himself. The idea that restrictions can set one free by forcing one to come to a decision brings us back to Keats poem, On the Sonnet. Keats came to the conclusion that restrictions create beauty and that they do not hinder creativity but rather provide challenge for it to overcome and bloom dramatically. And even if restrictions do not exist on an individual, if we do not let the Muse be free, the individual will still be bound with garlands of their own in other places and learn to overcome them and come to understand who they really are. After all, it is just as Foster states, the real reason for a quest is always self-knowledge and a quest is not a quest without challenges and trials en route (Foster, 3).

Zbarskaya 8 Works Cited Adiga, Aravind. The White Tiger. New York: Free, 2008. Print. Cherry, Kendra. "Identity Versus Confusion." About.com Psychology. About.com, n.d. Web. 06 Apr. 2014. <http://psychology.about.com/od/psychosocialtheories/a/identity-versusconfusion.htm>. Foster, Thomas C. "Every Trip Is a Quest (Except When It's Not)." How to Read Literature Like a Professor. N.p.: n.p., 2003. N. pag. Print. Hurston, Zora Neale. Their Eyes Were Watching God. New York: Harper Perennial Modern Classics, 2006. Print. Keats, John. "On the Sonnet." John Keats (1795-1821). N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Apr. 2014. <http://www.sonnets.org/keats.htm#010>. Lahiri, Jhumpa. The Namesake. New York: Mariner, 2004. Print. Parker, Lisa. "Snapping Beans." Lincoln Memorial University. N.p., n.d. Web. 7 Apr. 2014. <http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lmunet.edu%2Facademics%2Fenglish%2F2011Poems%2Fsnap ping%2520beans-april9.shtml>.