Coexisting in Coed Dorms

Living in a coed residence can be a fantastic experience but for those whove never done it before, it can take some getting use to. To ensure that your residence experience goes as smoothly as possible, please keep the following in mind: Visiting Hours. Although our residence accommodates both men and women, all individual houses remain single sex. This system provides our students with comfort and privacy when visiting washrooms or common areas late at night or early in the morning. Since many students choose to live at St. Mikes specifically because our houses are single sex, all residents are expected to abide by the visiting hours which are: 10 a.m. midnight, Sunday through Thursday 10 a.m. 1:30 a.m., Fridays & Saturdays. Dating in Dorms. Dating another resident has the same risks as dating someone in High School its great when things are going well when they turn sour, it can get difficult. Seeing your ex on a daily basis in the dining hall, socializing with mutual friends, or dating someone else in residence can be a highly emotional experience. If you do decide to date someone and the relationship ends, do you best to stay on good terms with them and their friends. Gossip. Repeating unflattering gossip not only damages peoples reputations, it can have a backlash against those who spread it. Although you may feel like a small fish in a big pond in September, youll soon realize that SMC is a relatively close-knit community and that rumours can often be traced back to their source. Always operate under the assumption that whatever you say about someone in their absence - even to friends on your floor could eventually get back to them.

On line Social Networking. If youre in the habit of updating your Facebook page with details from the latest party, youll want to use more discretion now that youre living in res. Posting unflattering photos or comments about other residents can cause hard feelings and may even be considered harassment in certain cases. Even if youve programmed your security settings for just your closest friends, salacious photos and gossip always find a way of being shared.

Respectful Language. At St. Mikes we strive to promote a respectful, inclusive and courteous environment for our residents. Speech that is sexist, racist or homophobic is not only offensive to others, but may also be perceived as harassing. In like manner, certain gender based slang terms have the potential of evoking strong emotional reactions and can make those who use them appear rude and intimidating. Alcohol. Only students who are aged 19 or older may possess or consume alcohol in residence. If you choose to drink, remember your ABCs: Always Be in Control. Consuming to point of staggering, slurring your words, passing out, etc. not only makes you look immature, it makes you more vulnerable to unwanted sexual advances. Be wary of people who offer you free drinks or are eager to help you get home after youve had too much to drink. Instead, make a plan with a friend you trust to see each other home before going out. Ask First. All forms of sexual activity and intimate contact including kissing and touching - require consent. To ensure you have it, always ask first before initiating any type of physical contact. If you dont ask, you risk doing something that another person does not want. This can lead to hurt feelings, strained friendships, damaging rumours, and in some cases, charges under the universitys various codes of conduct and/or criminal sanctions. Sexual Harassment. Sexual harassment is defined as unwanted sexual attention or an undue focus on a persons sex or sexual orientation. It may include: suggestive comments or gestures, sexual innuendo or banter, leering, inappropriate remarks about looks, dress or lifestyle, pressure for dates, homophobic insults, verbal abuse and intrusive physical behaviour or contact. Sexual harassment is NOT: consensual sexual interaction, physical affection between friends, mutual flirting, joking or teasing or general statements of opinions or belief. Be sure you know the difference. Stalking. Theres a fine line between trying to win over the heart of someone whos not (or no longer) interested in you, and stalking them. Repeatedly following others from place to place, sending them unwanted gifts, notes, letters, emails, text messages, etc or simply making repeated unwanted inquiries about them to their friends, housemates or acquaintances, can meet the definition of stalking. If someone tells you theyre not interested, take them at their word and dont assume theyre playing hard to get. Remember, stalking is not just a residence issue, its a criminal one. . For guidance, advice or referrals on any of the above issues, please contact your Don or the Deans Office for assistance.