UNIT 10 FORMING A FRIENDSHIP

Objectives
After learning this unit, you are expected to be able to: 1. identify clue words to follow an authors thoughts; 2. identify and write sentences with adjective clauses.

Pre-reading Activities
Discuss the following questions with a partner. 1. What do you do to form a friendship? 2. Are really good friends always of the same sex? Why? 3. What are the benefits of having many friends? 4. Are time and distance able to alter real friendship? 5. How do you make a close friendship? 6. How do you maintain a relationship?

Reading Activities
Using clue words to follow an authors thought Writers rely on clue words to give structure to their writing and to help readers predict or anticipate what will happen next in a sentence or paragraph. The clue words are: 1. One, two, and three, which indicate the number of items to be enumerated (or named one by one) and discussed; 2. For example and such as, which indicate an example is coming; 3. Also and furthermore, which indicate more on the same idea is coming; 4. But, however, and yet, which indicate ideas in opposition; 5. Similarly and on the other hand, which indicate a comparison or contrast is on the way; 6. If/then, hence, and consequently, which indicate a conditional relationship (a condition followed by an outcome); 7. Because and for this reason, which indicate a reason is coming.

Reading Selection
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Forming a Friendship Kathryn Kelley and Donn Byrne

Once two people meet and begin to interact several factors come into play, influencing how the relationship develops. First, our initial impressions of others depend in large part on appearance. If our reactions are negative, the process stops. If we respond positively, the second factor comes into play: the extent to which we discover that we share similar beliefs and attitudes with the other person. Third, the final step in forming a closer friendship occurs when we and the other person each feel and express a positive evaluation of the other. We will now examine these three factors in greater detail.

Physical Attractiveness: Life as a Beauty Contest On first coming in contact with someone, we have a strong tendency to respond to physical attractiveness that combination of facial features, body configuration, and general appearance that our culture defines as pleasing. We all have learned that Beauty is only skin deep and You cant judge a book by its cover; nevertheless, most people respond most positively to those they perceive as attractive. Even in childhood, attractive preschool girls are treated better than their less attractive peers by other children; the physically attractive children are helped more and hurt less. Also, attractiveness and unattractiveness remain as fairly stable characteristics throughout childhood and adolescence. Other species also respond to overt physical characteristics a peacocks tail, a deers antlers, a swordtail fishs tail fin suggesting an inherited tendency to attract mates on the basis of such clues. Our culture also emphasizes the value of beauty. For example, advertisements instruct women to cover their embarrassing age spots, lose weight, change their hairstyle and color, wear the right makeup, and so on. The mass media are found to stress slimness for women much more strongly than for men. Men, too, are told to take steps to avoid gray hair, dandruff, insufficiently white teeth, underdeveloped muscles, and a host of other defects. One result is that both men and women focus on the attractiveness of the opposite sex in most of their interactions. Not surprisingly, then, attractive men and women receive more invitations for dates in a videodating service than unattractive ones. Women are, however, able to overlook male unattractiveness if the men possess compensatory attributes such as status, money, power, or prestige. Physical attractiveness creates a halo around those who possess it. Both men and women assume that good-looking people also have a great many positive personal qualities. Our inflated view of attractive people can best be overcome if we learn to pay more attention to their behavior than to their appearance. Altogether, beauty has a number of benefits, however unfair this may be. Attractive men and women have more success with the opposite sex, including more dates, and they succeed in many 2

other social situations as well. One explanation is that those who are attractive males are relatively assertive and unafraid of rejections, and attractive women are relatively unassertive, and these are precisely the qualities each sex most prefers in the other in a dating situation. Beyond the dating age, the greater a persons physical attractiveness, the better off he or she is in educational level, income, status, and mental health. Because of the value we place on attractiveness, it follows that self-perceptions of deficiencies in appearance lower self-esteem and lead to efforts to improve how we look.

Similarity: Seek Those Most Like Ourselves Attraction toward a similar partner goes beyond physical appearance. Once we begin interacting with someone new, we try to discover as much as possible about his or her likes and dislikes. Throughout history it has been observed that people respond most positively to other individuals who are most similar to themselves, especially those who hold similar attitudes, beliefs, and values. Research consistently finds that attitude similarity leads to attraction. You may hear that opposites attract, but such mismatching works better in fiction than in real life. Attraction is a direct consequence of similar attitudes. Thus, friends, lovers, and spouses have similar views on most issues. Why is similarity so crucial in relationships? It appears that similarity has a positive effect because it helps confirm our judgments about the world. When another person agrees with us, he or she affirms or validates our view about politics, religion, and so on and also provides evidence that our judgments, tastes, and style of behavior are reasonable, normal, and wise. We find it rewarding when others provide this positive information.

Reciprocity of Positive Evaluations: If You Like Me, Let Me Know If someone is really your friend and if your interactions are positive, would you expect that person to evaluate you positively, help you whenever possible, and let you know you are liked? Many students indicate that the communication of such positive evaluations between partners is the most crucial characteristic of a successful relationship. Even when two people are dissimilar in their attitudes, a man will be attracted to a woman if she shows interest in him by maintaining eye contact, talking to him, and leaning toward him. When reciprocity of positive reactions occurs, either verbally or nonverbally, the relationship is strengthened for both individuals. Flattery, a desire to be together and to communicate, and any sign of affection indicate clearly that positive affect is operating in the friendship. In contrast hostility, negative evaluations, or refusal to be helpful to one another creates a negative effect, which clearly endangers the relationship. From Reading with Meaning, 1999 pp 127-129 3

Questions
Answer the following questions by referring to the text. Be ready to tell how you used the authors clue words to help you answer. Paragraph 1 1. How many factors about interaction will the author discuss? ____________________ ____________________________________________________________________ What are they? _______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. If we respond positively, what then? _______________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Nevertheless, what happens? ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 4 3. What is an example of our cultures emphasis on beauty? ______________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 4. What does the word however tell you that the author is going to do here? _________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 5 5. If we learn to pay more attention to behavior, what then? _____________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 7 6. Why do our perceptions of deficiencies lower self-esteem? _______________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 9 7. Do opposites really attract? ______________________________________________ What clue word tells you that is not true? ___________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 8. Why do friends, lovers, and spouses have similar views? _______________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 10 4

9. What word in this paragraph tells you that you are handling cause/effect? ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 11 10. If someone is really your friend, what then? _________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Paragraph 12 11. Under what condition will a man be attracted to a woman? _____________________ ____________________________________________________________________ What word clues you in to the conditional relationship? ________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Vocabulary
Learn the following sentences taken from the reading selection. Pay attention to the italicized words. 1. When another person agrees with us, he or she affirms or validates our view about politics, religion, and so on and also provides evidence that our judgments, tastes, and style of behavior are reasonable, normal, and wise. 2. Women are, however, able to overlook male unattractiveness if the men possess compensatory attributes such as status, money, power, or prestige. 3. Women are, however, able to overlook male unattractiveness if the men possess compensatory attributes such as status, money, power, or prestige. 4. On first coming in contact with someone, we have a strong tendency to respond to physical attractiveness that combination of facial features, body configuration, and general appearance that our culture defines as pleasing. 5. Research consistently finds that attitude similarity leads to attraction. 6. Other species also respond to overt physical characteristics a peacocks tail, a deers antlers, a swordtail fishs tail fin suggesting an inherited tendency to attract mates on the basis of such clues. 7. When reciprocity of positive reactions occurs, either verbally or nonverbally, the relationship is strengthened for both individuals. 8. Also, attractiveness and unattractiveness remain as fairly stable characteristics throughout childhood and adolescence.

Now use the italicized words to complete the following sentences. 1. The young man had a very __________________ relationship with his girlfriend; he had been seeing her for more than two years. 2. I was attracted to him because of his social _____________________ and his physical characteristics. 3. The president ___________________ scored at the top of her class; she always got As. 4. The agreement of _____________________ between the two clubs made it possible for a number of one club to eat in the dining room of the other. 5. During halftime, the band lined up in a ________________________ that spelled out the name of the university. 6. There was nothing underhanded in what the team captain did; he was always ____________________ and aboveboard in his actions. 7. The captain of the team _____________________ that he had never taken drugs. 8. In _____________________ education, a person learns things to make up for his or her deficiencies.

Grammar Focus
Adjective Clauses

The words highlighted are the examples of adjectives clauses from the reading selection.
1. Throughout history it has been observed that people respond most positively to other individuals who are most similar to themselves, especially those who hold similar attitudes, beliefs, and values. 2. In contrast hostility, negative evaluations, or refusal to be helpful to one another creates a negative effect, which clearly endangers the relationship. An adjective clause is a clause that modifies a noun or a noun phrase acting as the antecedent. Therefore, the adjective clause comes right after the antecedent. The adjective clause is preceded by a relative pronoun, the kind of which depends on the antecedent. Table 1 Relative pronouns introducing the adjective clause people who, whom, that things that, which time when place where

Other examples of adjective clauses:

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1. 2. 3. 4.

I have a friend who has many beautiful classical records. He is the friend whom I visited last week. He is a conductor whose orchestra is well known. The man whom we spoke with had just arrived in Bandung.

We can leave out the relative pronouns when a subject and a verb follow the relative pronoun. Examples: 1. She is the teacher (whom) I had last semester. 2. This is the book (that) I am interested in. 3. Here is the copy of the first test (which) I told you about. We also can reduce an adjective clause to a phrase: 1. The student (who is) talking to the teacher is from China. 2. Last night he gave a lecture (which was) on economical development in his country. 3. Anyone (who is) interested in this country should plan to attend another lecture tomorrow.

Exercise 1 Supply the correct relative pronoun for each adjective clause in the following sentences. 1. The author __________ wrote this book was a Frenchman. 2. He married a beautiful woman ________ was also an author. 3. He is currently finishing a master degree _______ I havent even started yet. 4. Steven Spielberg has made many movies _______ success has also been tremendous. 5. She was a modest woman _______ generosity was felt by many people. Exercise 2 Reduce the adjective clause to a phrase. 1. Chemistry, which is a difficult subject, can be enjoyable. 2. Nevertheless, the students who are taking Dr. Smiths class this semester are enjoying it. 3. Dr. Smith has written several chemistry books, which are used in universities around the world. 4. He has just completed an important government report, which is on reserve in the library. 5. The students that have been in his classes consider it a privilege to study with him.
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Writing Practice
1. Write five sentences with adjective clauses. 2. Summarize the reading selection in approximately 250 words. Remember to include the context clues to organize your details.

Summary
Clue words are used to give structure to a piece of writing and to help readers predict or anticipate what will happen next in a sentence or paragraph. 2. An adjective clause is a clause that modifies a noun or a noun phrase acting as the antecedent. The adjective clause is preceded by a relative pronoun.
1.

Reflection
In this unit, you have learned how to interpret graphs and charts, write a graph or chart narration, and use present and past participles. Put a check on the column based on your self-assessment. Objectives To identify clue words to follow an authors thoughts To identify an adjective clause To write sentences with adjective clauses
More practice on context clues can be retrieved from the following site: http://www.sinclair.edu/centers/tlc/pub/handouts_worksheets/reading/learning_words_from_cont ext_clues.pdf You can go to this site for more practice on adjective clauses: http://web2.uvcs.uvic.ca/elc/studyzone/410/grammar/adj1.htm http://grammar.about.com/od/sentencestructures/a/Exercise-In-Identifying-Adjective-Clauses.htm 8

Achieved

More practice needed