Communicating with Co-workers: Stop Gossiping and Start Finding Solutions

Presented by Mandy Lloyd, National Conscious Discipline Certified Instructor, mandylloyd723@yahoo.com

Communicating with co-workers starts with building relationships: Connection builds cooperation and wires the brain for impulse control and willingness. Attempting to solve problems without willingness is a chronic power struggle. COMPOSURE: Respond from your thinking brain instead of react from an emotional state. Breathe deeply. Smile Take a deep breath And Relax. Think calming thoughts. Power of Perception: How I think, dictates how I feel, which dictates how I act (my behavior) Im safe. Keep breathing. I can handle this. POSITIVE INTENT: Its your choice. Power of Love: seeing the best in others, we then respond with compassion instead of judgment. ASSERTIVENESS: Saying what you mean and meaning what you say 1. Focuses on what to do ! When you are upset, you are only focused on what you dont want. 2. Clear and direct ! Make eye contact; say their name, use a verb 3. Tone of voice implies no doubt ! Passive: asks permission, Okay? ! Aggressive: threatens, uses fear Or else! ! Assertive: communicates respect SPEAK ASSERTIVELY I feel [negative emotion] when ___. I dont feel [positive emotion] when ___. Ive noticed ___. Its a problem for me because ___. What Im suggesting is ___. I expect you/us to ___. We are going to [state plan of action].

Concepts adapted from the Conscious Discipline program with permission. 1-800-842-2846, www.ConsciousDiscipline.com

Structure first; Discipline second are your employee policies clear and consistently enforced? EMAIL MANDY IF YOU WOULD LIKE SPECIFIC LANGUAGE FROM THE POLICY EXAMPLES

Silence is acceptance.
SCRIPTS FOR SOLVING PROBLEMS WITH ADULTS When the problem is between two individuals: 1. Choose positive intent 2. Describe the problem and how it impacts you 3. Offer solutions that are mutually beneficial Children notice unresolved tension between adults no matter how subtle or professional we think we act. Email to get the conversation started if necessary, but follow-up in person the next day. When the problem involves more than one person: Step 1: Ive noticed _____. State what you have seen occurring without bias or judgment. State the problem specifically. Step 2: This is a problem for me because _____. Does it bother anyone else? This step allows the other adults the opportunity to own part of the problem. Step 3: So the problem is _____. Summarize the problem. Step 4: What could we do to solve the problem? Generally you will have a constructive conversation focused on solutions. At this point focus on what to do be specific. Step 5: What happens if the team fails to _____. This step allows you to create a team consequence. Remember the consequence must be fair and safe for everyone.

The following products were used in this workshop. CD: It Starts in the Heart, I Wish You Well CD: Listen to Your Feelings, Breathe CD: I Love You Rituals, Vol. 2, Im a Helpful Person
Concepts adapted from the Conscious Discipline program with permission. 1-800-842-2846, www.ConsciousDiscipline.com