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Don't Shave That Hair!!! I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting. o, I was not consti!ated" this was not a regularity !roblem but a matter of techni#ue. It seems my ass$hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied u! in the matted %ungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me & '(I ) that I still had something to dro!, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. *ventually I would have to do two things+ either reach down with some !a!er and try to !inch off the lingering loaf ,which re#uired careful !recision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, es!ecially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing- or %ust go for broke, start wi!ing, and ho!e that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet !a!er reached its .an't$/e$ 0lushed threshold. I was contem!lating this !roblem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. 1Hey! This is my butt and my butt$hair, right2 So why don't I %ust eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!1 I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. 1How many Indians could there be21 said by )eneral .uster. 13ooks like a good day for a drive!1 by 40&. 1There! 5merica 'n$3ine now has com!lete 6senet access!1 by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea. I !erformed the o!eration that night, with a chea! dis!osable ra7or and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous !rocess of ridding my ass of hair. 'ccassionally, I would have to clean the ra7or of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wi!ing it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between$ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. 0inally, I wi!ed the ra7or one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a !ile of hair. 8y ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. 3ittle did I know. I now have a great res!ect for anal$hair. 3ike everything in this world )od created, it has its mighty !ur!ose in e9istence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. 0or one, it !rovides friction. I learned this the ne9t day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. 5fter climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something un!leasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the un!leasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding !ast each other with every ste!. I thought about going to the bathroom and wi!ing it off, but had to get to class. *ventually, I thought, it would dry. 6nfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microsco!ic shit$ molecules lingering around my brown starfish. (hen I stood u! after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit:sweat combination. 5s I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. )od$D58 , did it itch! 0elt like a swarm of ants was making its way u! and down my crack. 0ighting to kee! from %amming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. 6nfortunately again, this e9ertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a !air of horny cane$toads. I #uickly dro!!ed my !ants, and attem!ted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and s!reading my cheeks. 5s I !ulled the two mounds of flesh a!art, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. *very dog within a ; block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ri!e aroma of festering shit:sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to kee! from heaving. 5nd as I sat

there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks s!read and dri!!ing, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mi9ed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought+ 1It will be like this until the hair grows back. (eeks.1 3ater on, trying to deal as best I could, wi!ing my ass at every o!!ortunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass$hair $ ventilation. I attem!ted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. 5!!arently, with no hair, the two !ink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid u! and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. 5s if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. 5s anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the te9ture of a brillo !ad. (ell, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I %ust look out the window and contem!late why I shouldn't %ust %um! out and get it all over with in one fleshy s!lat, rather than endure this constant agony. 0riends, D' 'T SH5<* ='6> 5SS$H5I>!

Spork
hi every? im new!!!!!!! holds u! s!ork my name is katy but u can call me t@h Ae g6? o0 dBBm!!!!!!!! lolCas u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, D meet random !!l like me EC im ?@ years old ,im mature ; my age tho!!- i like D watch invader 7im w: my girlfreind ,im bi if u dont like it deal w:it- its our favorite tv show!!! bcu7 its S'''' random!!!! shes random D of course but i want D meet more random !!l F- like they say the more the merrier!!!! lolCneways i ho!e D make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! D'''''8888!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! G$$$ me bein random again EH heheCtoodles!!!!! love and waffles, t@h Ae g6? o0 dBBm )reetings, everyone. I am new. ,'ne second I let me get this s!ork out of the way.- 8y name is &aty, but you can call me the Aenguin of Doom. ,IJm laughing aloud.- 5s you can !lainly see, my actions have no !attern whatsoever. That is why I have come here. To meet similarly !atternless individuals, such as myself. I am ?@ I mature for my age, however! I and I en%oy watching Invader Kim with my girlfriend. ,I am bise9ual. Alease a!!roach this sub%ect maturely.- It is our favorite television show, as it ade#uately dis!lays stochastic manners of behavior such as we !ossess. She behaves without order I of course I but I wish to meet more individuals of her and my kind. 5s the saying goes, Lthe more, the merrier.M 5h, it is to laugh. 5nyway, I ho!e to make many friends here, so !lease comment freely. Doom! That is sim!ly one of many e9am!les of my random actions. Ha, ha. 0are thee well. I wish you much love and waffles. =ours, The Aenguin of Doom.