The Word March 2014

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Dine Out For Life Indy Gains 2nd 100% Restaurant For 24th Aprils Event
INDIANAPOLISMark your calendars for Dining Out for Life, Indys largest dining fundraiser, set this year for 24th April. Nearly 40 restaurants in the Indianapolis area will donate 25%, 50% or 100% of their entire days sales to ght AIDS in Indianapolis, and its as easy as can be for diners. There are no special menus or codes to mention simply dine out and you can help ght AIDS. Dining Out for Life, an international event taking place in 60 cities on the very same day, raises money for HIV/AIDS organisations, and locally it benets The Damien Centre, Indianas largest and oldest AIDS service organisation, which is proud to celebrate 20 years of Dining Out for Life in Indiana. Proceeds directly benet the centres clients by providing free HIV and STD tests, HIV care coordination and supportive services such as a food pantry, housing and career development programmes. Elisa Rogowski, Damien development director, noted, In 2013 Dining Out for Life raised more than $80,000 for Damien Centre clients, 94% of whom are living in poverty. The Damien Centres services are always free to the community, so fundraisers like Dining Out for Life are critically important to making the mission of The Damien Centre a reality. That mission is to allow persons in Central Indiana affected by HIV/AIDS to move forward each day with dignity, and to lead the ght to prevent the spread of HIV. Please Continune On Page Three
Over 20 Attend Initial Cincinnati Pride Meets

CINCINNATIIf the early turn-out is anything to go by, there will be more community involvement than ever when Cincinnati Pride takes to the streets this Summer as over 20 attended the groups initial planning meetings in January & February.
Word Photos: Michael Chanak
The Word March 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com Page 1
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The Word March 2014 On The Web At: www.thegayword.com
Dining Out For Life Marks 20th Year As Damien Centres Benet
Continued From The Front Page So which restaurants will be participating in this years event? A lot of old favourites, a number of new spots and ones which organisers are sure the community will want to get reserved. Check out the still-growing list online at www.diningoutforlife.com or www.damien.org where youll also nd a map of restaurants. This years event will feature a range of local restaurants, including many returning favorites as well as new participants. Rogowski noted that Red Lion Grog House now has some competition for the top donor spot as the event has gained a second 100% contributor for the rst time. As our returning Champion Restaurant, Red Lion Grog House will again donate 100% of their days sales to The Damien Centre. New to the event this year, Champion Restaurant Labor District Cafe, featuring what owner Travis Sealls calls throwback casual comfort food, will also be donating 100% of sales, she noted. Red Lion is on Virginia Avenue in Fountain Square, while the Labour District Cafe is located on the 2nd oor of the BMO (First Indiana Bank) Tower at Ohio & Pennsylvania streets downtown. Other returning eateries include Santorini Greek Kitchen, Cerulean, The Greek Islands Restaurant, Punch Burger, Arnis Indy and South, Hoosier Parks Winners Circle and Pita Pit downtown. Of those, both Pita Pit and Punch Burger are also owned by Sealls, showing true committment to the cause, Rogowski noted. New participating restaurants include Beefcake Burgers Greenwood, Siam Square, a new Pizza King location downtown, Bru Burger and Mama Irma Peruvian amongst others. Dining Out for Life International, hosted by Subaru, collectively raises more than $4 million each year to support local HIV/AIDS programming. Support for this event nationally has grown to over 250,000 diners, thanks in large part to the efforts of Dining Out for Life Spokesman Ted Allen, host of Food Networks primetime competition series Chopped. Allen will be joined by Pam Grier, actress, advocate and author of the memoir Foxy My Life In Three Acts, as well as Daisy Martinez from the Food Networks Viva Daisy! Dining Out for Life also welcomes new spokesman Mondo Guerra, a fashion designer and HIV/AIDS activist known for his innovative style and bold designs on Project Runway Season 8, Project Runway All Stars and the all new Under the Gunn. Rogowski also said that, The Damien Centre is proud to have numerous local sponsors for this years event, including Hoosier Park Racing and Casino, along with The Word, Printing Partners, WTHR Channel 13, Old National Bank, Talbott Street, Just Pop In!, Indys i94 and Indy Pride. Ketel One is the Ofcial Spirits Sponsor of Dining Out for Life. For the latest information, check out the events tweets (@ DamienCenter) and Facebook (/thedamiencenter). Follow/ like them during and after the event for the latest scoop on The Damien Centres many events and opportunities to volunteer. By the way, if youre not a restaurant owner, but youd still like to help make Dining Out for Life a success the centre says, No problem! Individuals can also serve as restaurant ambassadors. Visit diningoutforlife.com/indianapolis for on-going updates, ambassador info, participating restaurants and more or like The Damien Center on Facebook for updates and info. And most importantly, call all your friends, gure out which restaurants (One for lunch and a different one for dinner, perhaps?) you wish to visit for Dining Out For Life then make plans to dine out 24th April.
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Word Comment
JDI!!!
A friend of mine owned a restaurant not too long ago and while it was not the restaurants name, the moniker of the rm she owned (and which, in turn, owned the eatery) was JDI, which (with credit to Nike who used it as a theme years ago) stood for just do it! and thats what this editorial is about not restaurants but doin it! Last month, we wrote about the changing scene in the gay and lesbian community and how clubs and gay businesses which do not change with the times and shifting business trends will no longer be around in two, three or ve years. But we also urged readers not to just moan and groan about the problems with their fave club or the issues its facing, but to go out at the weekend and patronise the businesses they so adore to help them stay aoat. We have had a lot of comments (99% positive) about that editorial and callers and folks stopping us told us how they, the readers, agreed with it, but we have not seen or heard of hardly a single person who said they were taking it to heart and heading for the watering hole or shop they were afraid might close. Our advice this month: Just do it. Quit talking about how sad it is this or that club or business is on the ropes or empty. Get out of that chair, put Grindr or Facebook down, get dressed up and go out. If you want a meal, a lot of the gay places will gladly serve you some damned good eats. If its drinks, you have an even-wider choice. Want anything from real estate to pets or cars? We have gay and gay-friendly folks ready to help. Just do it! The same goes for the near miss we had this year on HJR-3, the anti-gay marriage amendment in Indiana. The proposal might have been put off, but trust me, its still out there even in weakened form. We had tons of folks posting on Facebook, Tweeting and otherwise communicating about how bad and wrong discrimination is (We quite heartily agree.) but few if any of them said they wanted to organise or were going to a rally against HJR-3, or were going to send even $5 to Freedom Indiana which is ghting it in the legislature. And youdda thought I hit a few folks in their shocked faces who, when it appeared HJR-3 was headed for the 2014 ballots, I asked if they were registered and going to vote against it. Its not too hard to post a gay ag or banner on ones Facebook and its really not hard to register to vote just sign up at the BMV or the courthouse. The hard part is voting and making a stand. Once again our advice is: Just do it! A recent survey said something like 70% of the populace 18-25 was opposed to any restriction on our marriage equality as opposed to a slim majority of voters over 60 who oppose marriage rights.
But guess which group votes? Those numbers are almost exactly reversed, with almost seven out of ten of the 60+ folks voting compared to just a quarter or so of the under 25s. If we want this amendment to go away and stay away we must register and we must vote. Vote out the right wingers like the Republicans who control the Indiana legislature. Vote out the Indiana tea party-sympathising governor in 2016. Vote out Mitch McConnell (who is well past his sell-by date) in Kentucky. But to make any of it happen we must register and then put aside all excuses and vote. Again: Just do it! We as a community have a lot to be grateful for right now from the Kentucky anti-marriage amendment being found at least partially unconstitutional to cooler heads prevailing in the Indiana legislature. But for any of that and more to happen, a lot of hard work has and must continue. And we (all of us) need to be involved. We at The Word thank Freedom Indiana and the companies large and small who lined up to let the Indiana legislators know how bad this bill would have been. And we thank those in Ohio who are working to overturn their ban, though we wish the Ohio groups would work together, not try and kill one another over who really should prevail and who is in charge. ONLY if they cooperate will they succeed. Cummon Ohio readers: Just do it! And Kentucky, where those who brought and fought the suit to what, thus far, has been victory, congrats, but for us to move further the rest of our friends will have to: Just do it. My point is simple: None of this just happened. It took place because we as a community wanted it to happen and it took place because someone went out there and did it. For this to continue we need you ... and you... and you and everyone reading to quit with the complaints and excuses and just do it. Find out whats going on in your state or locality and get involved. Register and encourage others to do so. Go out this weekend and have a drink at the local gay club (or see a show or eat a meal). Use a supportive stock broker to plan your investments. List your home with a gay or lesbian Realtor. Use a gay or lesbian lawyer, doctor or rm which supports the community to do your power of attorney and shop for a car or other product with a family-friendly (our family, not the right wings version) business. Regardless of what you need or want to do: Just do it. Put down this paper and do it. Unless we make it happen (not just talk about it happening) it wont. Its up to you, to me and to the community so get out and just do it. Now!
Ted Fleischaker, Publisher, The Word
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COMING TO THE CENTER...

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Six time Grammy winners, The Chieftains, return to the Palladium for a dynamic evening that brings traditional Irish music to the worlds attention. They have uncovered the wealth of traditional Irish music that has accumulated over the centuries, making the music their own with a style that is as exhilarating as it is definitive.
TAFT LAW JAZZ & BLUES SERIES
THE PAT METHENY UNITY GROUP
20-time Grammy Award-winner Pat Metheny continues to be one of the brightest stars in the jazz world today. Through his career, he has reinvented the traditional jazz guitar sound for a new generation of players.
THE BUCK GROUP AT MERRILL LYNCH DANCE SERIES
FRIDAY, MARCH 14 AT 8 PM | THE PALLADIUM
KORESH DANCE COMPANY
PADDY MOLONEY, THE CHIEFTAINS & SPECIAL GUESTS
FRIDAY, MAR. 14 & SATURDAY, MAR. 15 AT 8 PM | THE TARKINGTON
Philadelphias Koresh Dance Company is renowned for their powerful stage presence and high-energy style, and has been hailed as an extraordinary newcomer to the national stage. This troupe presents an exciting and emotional blend of ballet, modern and jazz molded into a style of choreography that is both eloquent and explosive. There really is something for everyone in Koreshs exhilarating performances.
THE STRATFORD SONGBOOK SERIES
LINDA EDER
SATURDAY, MARCH 15 AT 8 PM | THE PALLADIUM
Showcasing one of the greatest contemporary voices of our time, Linda Eders diverse repertoire spans Broadway, standards, pop, country and jazz. Her Broadway debut sent her already rapidly rising star blazing across the sky, securing her spot as one of Americas most beloved singers and dynamic live performers.
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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19 AT 7:30 PM | THE PALLADIUM
KORESH DANCE COMPANY
In a young and vibrantly modern take on a traditional art form, athletic bodies and contemporary costumes meet explosive Taiko drumming and innovative choreography in a show that has critics raving about TAOs extraordinary precision, energy, and stamina. TAO has proven that modern entertainment based on the traditional art of Japanese drumming, has massive international appeal.
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Outside The Box

By Dr. Fred Schloemer, LCSW / Louisville
Dear Dr. Fred: Im a middle-aged gay male, newly single after a recent, painful break-up. The most helpful person to me in going through this rough time was my co-worker Pam. Pam is a middle-aged lesbian, also single, with a huge heart and loyal as can be. I never could have gotten through the last few months without her. Problem is, Pam is also one of the most opinionated people Ive ever known, and doesnt hesitate to air her very strong opinions anywhere and everywhere, always very loudly. Shes a tea party conservative and proud of it and likes to vent her outrage over the current administrations total incompetence, dishonesty and stupidity. While I agree Washington is a mess, I happen to like Obama, so it actually hurts my feelings sometimes when she goes off on one of her rants and then gets even more revved up if I try to say anything in his defence. Things really came to a head recently on Facebook. After the Presidents state of the union address the other night, Pam went on a true rampage there, trashing him, everything hed said, his policies, his plans, even his wife and kids. She really got out there over the course of the evening. I posted a response, trying to defend him, but that was a big mistake, because it just got her more agitated, calling him a Muslim, saying hes not even an American citizen, etc., etc. It got so bizarre that I unfriended her not because I dont want to be her friend in real life, but just to end her crazy postings on my FB page. So now Pam isnt speaking to me. When we cross paths at work she looks the other way or stares me down with hate in her eyes. I want to somehow get across to her that I still want to be friends, just not on Facebook, as that site isnt good for our friendship. Any suggestions? In spite of her quirks, I really miss my friend. Sign Me, Sad Man on Facebook. Dear Sad Man: Im often amazed at how some people can take a venue designed just to socialise and have fun, like a cocktail party or social networking site, and turn it into a forum for angrily venting their political views. Im on Facebook myself at the urging of numerous family and friends who said they wanted to keep up with me there. Though dubious of it at rst, Ive found that I do enjoy seeing friends updates and photos there, but more importantly the site also offers a means for people to exchange support and encouragement with others going through difcult times. The downside is that I too have witnessed some very negative and even hateful posts by others there especially about Obama and the Affordable Care Act. I usually try to just ignore these but I also have gotten bitten a time or two when I weighed in with my own opinions. Im reminded of an article I once read in this paper by a very wise old friend, namely editor Ted Fleischaker. In it he addressed the problem of people who write hostile e-mails, especially at night, which become increasingly vitriolic, as well as more poorly written as the night wears on. As I recall, he opined that these individuals are probably either drinking or drugging to fuel their bile, thus the growing venom of their rhetoric and deterioration in their writing. Having received such e-mails myself I couldnt agree more. You mention that Pam posted her diatribes late into the night after the State Of The Union address, and that they became more malicious and irrational as the hours unfolded. My guess is that Pam is one of those people Ted wrote about and that she was under the inuence of something or other that night. As a result, I can see why you unfriended her, and it looks like the move served its purpose. That said, its hard to unfriend someone in one context and not have it bleed over into others, so I can also understand Pams reaction. Sadly, shes making it impossible for you two to work through the matter by stubbornly refusing to interact with you at all. Given that fact, I see little other recourse for you but to address the issues in writing. You might start by perusing the friendship cards at a Hallmark store. Find one that captures what you feel for Pam and enclose a personal note inside explaining why you did what you did.
Explain that you didnt mean for the action to indicate you didnt want to be her friend at all just not on Facebook, in the interest of preserving your friendship. If youre sorry for what you did, apologise sincerely and ask her forgiveness. If youre not sorry for your actions, dont apologise but say youre sorry for the current state of affairs. Close by making clear how much you value her and your friendship, and asking her to let bygones be bygones. Ive found that anyone who truly cares for us will usually accept a heartfelt apology from us. Since Pam obviously cared greatly for you before, my hope is that she still does and may be willing to overcome this breach in time. Fred Schloemer, Ed.D., LCSW, is a gay psychotherapist in Louisville. Write him at FredSchloemer@aol.com
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Your Vote Counts

By Rick Sutton / Political Columnist
Politicians sometimes need to re-learn the time-honoured maxim: say little when youre losing. Take Indiana Sen. Mike Delph (R-Carmel) for instance. In mid-February he had a monumental Twitter meltdown the kind which (unfortunately) makes national news. And as you might expect theres a back story. Delph is a far-right legislator who was not considered an ally on controversial HJR-3, the Marriage Discrimination Amendment. That did not deter Annette Gross, a spunky Carmel homemaker who is a statewide ofcial of P-FLAG (Parents, Friends and Lesbians and Gays). Shes justiably proud of her gay son, and like most moms, shes protective when the state government starts nosing around. She is a Delph constituent. She asked the folks at Freedom Indiana if she should meet with Delph and although he was not a targeted legislator, she did it anyway. Twice. And she sent him letters. And phone-banked with Freedom forces whenever she could. She calmly explained why the proposed constitutional amendment would harm her family. Delph welcomed her into his ofce and they exchanged stories. Delph has a gay brother, but he nonetheless pushed forward with his crusade. On the 13th of February the Senate Republican caucus determined theyd pass on oor amendments for Second Reading. That was an important distinction: the Republicans hold 37 of the 50 seats. Their caucus vote, usually kept secret along with the background details, meant the amendment would likely not make the 2014 Fall ballot. Delph walked up to Gross (who was at the statehouse as she has been many days) and handed her a copy of the (failed) amendment hed authored and said in a condescending voice: Hereyou got your way. Delph, among others, wanted to propose oor amendments which wouldve restored language removed from the house version of the amendment, clearing the way for a vote this year. The caucus vote was revealed by Delph during a tweet just prior to the oor debate. The tweet rippled through the crowded Senate hallways and gallery before, moments later, Lt. Gov. Sue Ellsperman (R), as presiding ofcer, ended the suspense and HJR-3 was dead as a doornail if you wanted a 2014 Fall referendum. Delph was taken to task for his tweet by Senate President Pro Tempore David Long (RFt. Wayne). But Delph persisted. Later that evening he began a Twitter discussion with multiple folks. And it wasnt pretty. He indicated his party lacked the political spine to buck trends. To put it mildly. The senator promoted a Hoosier theocracy that can only be described as provincial. And he used Twitter to berate those with whom he disagreed. It was a classic net-world meltdown of the type oft associated with spoiled millionaire athletes or over-exposed reality show stars. And the erstwhile senator poked fun at the entire process. All this was quite inelegant and unusual for Indiana Republicans particularly the Senate kind. They pride themselves on closed-door caucus discipline so rarely does an Indiana Senate Republican publicly challenge or mock the leadership. In fact, its not happened in decades. All because he didnt get his way. And due in no small part to the persistent badgering from a Carmel mom who wouldnt give up. So you see your vote and your voice really DO matter. At presstime HJR-3 was not expected to be amended on third reading in the Senate which means a 2014 constitutional referendum is pushed to at least 2016 and perhaps further. Thanks to the redistricting completed, Delph resides in a hugely-Republican district and is eligible to stand for re-election this year. He has a Democratic opponent named JD Ford whose Twitter account exploded on the 13th of February. TWEET THIS
BUCKEYE MARRIAGE EFFORTS The Buckeye State is facing a stern campaign to undo its Defence of Marriage Act (DOMA) but its not without controversy. A local group wanted to challenge the DOMA in 2014. That kind of challenge requires a voter-signature effort which takes Please Continue On Page 30
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The Word is published the last week of every month at 110 E. Washington St., Suite 1402, Indianapolis, 46204. While every effort is made to ensure accuracy and fairness, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines will be billed at agreed-upon price. Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items appearing in The Word, as well as the name, logos and design are copyright 2014 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleischaker and may not be reproduced in any form without prior written approval. National Advertising Representative: Rivendell Media, 212/242.6863 Local Phones: Indy: 317/632.8840 * Louisville: 502/454.4877 e-mail: ted@midwestword.com
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The Goose Is Loose!

By Michael Chanak Cincinnati Pundit & Commentator
I call this months column Being Goose and Im frightened. They have come to study the Goose. You should be scared, too! Live long enough and they will nd you! No, not the IRS, AARP or your friendly assisted living home. The Goose squawks of these students, researchers, historians and all who simply want to know what it was like to be gay way back when? Imagine Ive lived long enough to be studied. Sometimes they drop a line via Facebook or e-mail and the more enterprising somehow get ahold of my cell phone number. Often they wait till the night or a day before its due, particularly when it is a school assignment. All these questions: What was it like? What is it to be old and gay? What do you think about.how do you feel about ghey marriage? Heavens! It was only in 1894 that the phrase the love that dare not speak its name was put to paper in the poem Two Loves by Lord Alfred Douglas. The same phrase was referenced in Oscar Wildes gross indecency trial. How did we get from that to the seeming hordes of students studying sexual orientation, social work or cultural diversity needing to interview a gay goose for class? Progress I guess, though I never thought my dance card would be so full! Each quarter/semester between all of us old timers we offer ourselves up for the advance of education to students from PhD candidates to two-year associate degree folks we get studied, quoted in papers and videotaped concerning gay aging and local Cincinnati gay and lesbian history. Sure, I get worn out from it sometimes, but it is always fun. I share, of course, not to say I dump students on lesser geese but I gure it is good to pass the honour of being interviewed around. It can only help, right? I am aware that some covet these student requests and pretend to speak for all histories, beliefs and perspectives. Those community members are what I term self-appointed gas giants. I learned a long time ago that anytime you get a group of old timers together and ask them the same question about history or an important event in community organising youll get as many opinions as there are queens in the room. I insist that students or researchers talk to various people. Ill supply them names of people who think I am a gas giant, too. Why? Not only is a group interaction or discussion more fun, but how we got where we got isnt going to be told at one gayla high-priced dinner. So, here it is within the short life of this soon-to-be-65-year-old Goose and we have gone from not being thought of or included (Dare I say ridiculed and dismissed?) to being the subject of endless questions and research. Really how wonderful this is because it was something I never thought anyone would be interested in. Doesnt this demonstrate to us all how the work of those who went before and those who soldier on has paid off? Persistence is how the game of equality is won. There are always a few perks to doing the interviews, too. I have fallen in love with a number of the straight men sent to talk to me, including a marine. Oh to hear sir, yes sir again, but I digress. I am happy to report the local Greater Cincinnati Pride Committee has also had requests by students to participate in their event so this is a cue to end on a reminder that Greater Cincinnati Pride is 31st May. Please visit www.cincinnatipride.org for the latest info.
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Standard Reviewer
By Bill Elliott / Word Critic
Writing around the 50th anniversary of the British invasion of America by The Beatles it strikes me that another invasion is taking place, this time not by a moptopped pop group but a slew of British-produced or British-themed television series. Britain and America have always enjoyed a special relationship and nowhere is that more true than on television. Hugely popular shows such as Sanford and Son, All in the Family and Threes Company were all based on British TV series from the Sixties and early Seventies. A formula quickly developed: if it was successful in England, chances are it would be big in America too. Its a nice idea but unfortunately it hasnt always worked in practice. More often than not a show that wowed audiences in England just opped in the USA. Look at the sheer numbers of British television shows that have been remade for American audiences (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_television_ series_based_on_British_television_series) and note how many have actually been successful. You can almost count them on one hand. A few shows (the ones mentioned above, for example) and others such as The Ofce have managed to work as American makeovers. Others, like Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous and, more recently, The Inbetweeners and , have been spectacular failures. British reality TV shows introduced Americans to British accents for more than a decade with personalities like Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsey crossing the pond to annoy American audiences in the same way they annoyed British audiences. But it seems that trend is on the wane and there is now a huge market for British drama. BBC America has been a xture on cable for the past decade or so and has provided a direct portal into the latest British TV series. It has been responsible for the heightened interest in shows such as Dr. Who (which has been around in England since the early Sixties) and spinoffs like Torchwood. Advances in computer technologies and new ways of delivering TV content have also meant an increase in the market for British dramas. Netix, Amazon and Hulu not only carry British television shows; they are now nancing them, too. With traditional networks more and more afraid to risk huge investments on programming that might not even make it to a pilot episode, smaller, independent channels are less afraid to take a chance on them. They have smaller audiences and are not reliant on huge advertisers, often charging reasonable monthly fees for access to content. Even PBS, long considered the poor relation of American television networks, has struck gold years ago with Are You Being Served, The Vicar of Dibley and Last of The Summer Wine as well as Dame Judi Denchs As Time Goes By, but recently with Downton Abbey. Created in 2010 by Julian Fellowes, the latter series quickly became a phenomenon. The material couldnt have seemed less promising. Set in the post-Edwardian era on a ctional Yorkshire country estate it depicts the lives of the aristocratic Crawley family and their servants against the backcloth of major historical events in the early twentieth century. It has captured the same nerve with American audiences that Brideshead Revisited did almost thirty years earlier. As a Brit, I cannot account for the popularity of Downton Abbey in the USA. Personally, I nd the show a little dreary. But with a cast of interestingly developed characters, eshed out by the cream of British stage and television actors (with a handful of well-known American actors Elizabeth McGovern, Shirley MacLaine, Paul Giamatti thrown in for good measure), Downton Abbey has clearly created a niche that appeals to transatlantic audiences. The popularity in the USA of the BBC-produced Sherlock is less of a mystery. American audiences are long familiar with Arthur Conan Doyles creation. Sherlock
Sherlocks success is largely due to two fabulous lead actors in Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. Cumberbatchs Holmes, while updated to contemporary London, has little of Robert Downey Jr.s affability or smug sense of humour (from the most recent Hollywood lm versions). He is ice-cold and calculating; not particularly attractive qualities. But somehow Cumberbatch manages to create a sympathetic gure. Jonny Lee Miller who plays another updated Sherlock Holmes in Elementary on CBS is also wonderful in the role, managing to maintain an awkward distance while exhibiting emotional depths absent in Cumberbatchs version of the character. Cumberbatchs Holmes is counterpointed by Freemans wholly human Dr. Watson. He is attached to Holmes not only as a professional working partner but as a friend and companion. At the end of Season Two (I dont think I am giving too much away here), Holmes fakes his own death. Watson goes into mourning and when Holmes reappears at the beginning of Season Three (in what is meant to be a prank but comes across as a cruel and callous joke), Watson is not just shocked but hurt to the core. The three short series of Sherlock hitherto have mined Conan Doyles Holmes stories for plot elements and have managed to translate the characters and the stories to t into the context of 21st century London seamlessly. The show is cleverly edited to make its 90 minutes seem to breeze by quickly and plots are complex but never convoluted. While it is American produced, I am counting the CW Networks Reign as part of the British invasion, largely because it deals with a particular time in history before the U.S. existed and because most of the characters speak with British accents (even though a number of the actors are from Canada and Australia as well as the UK) Focusing on the life of Mary, Queen of Scots who lived from 1542-1587, Reign (like Downton Abbey) doesnt sound very promising on paper. But, you dont have to be a history buff to appreciate this rich, textured drama about a young queen who had aspirations of usurping Elizabeth I to become Queen of England. The series is surprisingly watchable, in equal parts historical drama, political intrigue, and romance. The Catholic Mary, betrothed to the future King of France from the age of ve, becomes a pawn in Europes post-Reformation religious and political drama. Like her father Henry VIII, Elizabeth was a Protestant, while Europes major powers, France and Spain, sought to restore Catholicism to England with Mary as queen. Reign deals with the political machinations behind the scenes at the royal court as France seeks to conquer England, simply by putting a friendly monarch on the throne. Throw in an evil queen (Megan Follows as Catherine de Medici) and the clairvoyant Nostradamus (Rossif Sutherland) and all bets are off. The series sparkles with a contemporary feel that should seem totally out of synch with the time period. But it works! Dracula is an Anglo-American series that premiered on NBC in October. Boasting an international cast of British, Australian, Irish, and German actors, the show is a gripping and occasionally graphic retelling of the Bram Stoker novel, with the famous count (played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers), posing as an American capitalist in London. He tries to bring down the market in fossil fuels with a new, clean version of electricity. Dracula is interesting largely because it paints the lead character in a very sympathetic light. He is not only a romantic gure, but appears to be on the side of decency and goodness in the ght against aristocratic and bourgeois exploitation. So what if he needs human blood to survive and often exacts gory revenge on those who cross him? As portrayed by Rhys Meyers, he is charming and elegant, if often ruthless in his methods. Its been over thirty years since the British actor and screenwriter, Colin Welland, claimed (on accepting an Oscar for his script for Chariots of Fire in 1981) that the British are coming! Britannia may not rule the waves anymore but she certainly has a lot of inuence over what we see on our television screens in the USA.
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Your Vote Counts

Continued From Page 19
somewhere north of 600,000 signatures. A grassroots Ohio effort gathered 300400,000 valid signatures by presstime but calmer heads have prevailed. National advocates have joined with Equality Ohio to form Marriage Matters, (MM) a new public-education organisation. That group will fan out across Ohio for the next two years to raise awareness about Ohio and why this matters, but another group is being impatient and wants a vote now, not later, and doesnt wish to wait for the Marriage Matters two-year public education effort. MM just hired as its eld director one of Freedom Indianas deputy eld directors Sheena Kadi, a Toledo native whos sharply focused on the mission. She will direct a strong and large eld staff and she will report to a recently-hired campaign manager. All the typical national players Human Rights Campaign and the rest have lined up behind the MM 2016 focus. They believe a 2014 gamble if unsuccessful would deal a serious blow to the national equality movement. Who wouldve thought that a couple of years ago wed be arguing over whether to proceed on a marriage equality campaign this year or two years down the road? And why is it important? For the same reasons Indianas efforts worked: resources. Corporate and national support for the gay & lesbian community is not innite. Those resources have to be carefully marshalled into the most effective states for the best run campaigns. It will take that kind of laser focus to sustain the victory path and 2014 just doesnt allow enough time to make it happen. A GENTLE SOUL Last month I said good-bye suddenly to a friend of many years, Don Lee. He had moved to Tucson in recent months to help care for an older relative, and to (wisely) escape our winters. Don was a xture in the community a creative, talented person who made friends everywhere he went. He left us too soon and his local friends were stunned at the sudden loss. Godspeed Don Lee and sympathies to his daughters and many, many friends. Just last St. Patricks Day we spent the day together and everywhere we went he was known and welcomed. Not a bad epitaph.
Finances In Focus
By Michael Wright / Edward D Jones
This is March the month when a lot of folks are chasing a mythical leprechaun to nd his hidden pot of gold, so that makes it a great time to say that while saving is good, its really not investing. Lets look at some of the simlarities and important differences, too. Its a good thing to have some savings. When you put the money in a low-risk account you can be pretty sure it will be readily available when you need it. Nonetheless, saving is not investing and knowing the difference could pay off for you far into the future. Think about it this way: unless that Leprechaun is for real and you manage to nd that pot of gold, saving is for today, while investing is for tomorrow. You need your savings to pay for your daily expenses, such as groceries, and your monthly bills mortgage, utilities, and so on. In fact, you might even want your savings to include an emergency fund containing six to 12 months worth of living expenses to pay for unexpected costs, such as a new furnace, replacing frozen pipes so many had this past Winter or a major car repair. These are all here and now expenses and you could use your savings to pay for them. But in thinking of your long-term goals, such as college for any children you and/or your partner have, a comfortable retirement for yourself and him or her, most individuals typically cant simply rely on their savings theyll need to invest. Why? Because, quite simply, investments can grow and you will need this growth potential to help achieve your objectives be they a beach house in Key West, a round-the-world cruise or just a relaxing, worry-free retirement when the time comes. To illustrate the difference between saving and investing, lets do a quick comparison. Suppose you put $200 per month into a savings account that paid hypothetical 3% interest (which is actually higher than the rates typically being paid today). After 30 years, you would have accumulated about $106,000, assuming you were in the 25% federal tax bracket. Now, suppose you put that same $200 per month in a taxdeferred investment that hypothetically earned 7% a year. At the end of 30 years, you would end up with about $243,000. (Keep in mind that you would have to pay taxes on withdrawals. Also note that hypotheticals do not include any transaction costs or other fees.) This enormous disparity between the amounts accumulated in the two accounts clearly shows the difference between saving and investing. Still, you might be thinking that investing is risky, while savings accounts carry much less risk. And it is certainly true that investing does involve risks as I always tell my customers (and I am required by law to remind them of this regularly): investments can lose value and theres no guarantee that losses will be recovered. Nonetheless, if you put all your money in savings, youre actually incurring an even bigger risk the risk of not achieving your nancial goals. In fact, a low-rate savings account might not even keep up with ination, which means that, over time, you just might lose purchasing power. That means, for example, if you get a paltry three tenths of a percent which many savings accounts are paying nowadays, youd be better off to spend that money because by leaving it in the bank you actually will be losing ground. Your buying power with it might well be less in two, three or 10 years than it is now. So ultimately, the question isnt whether you should save or invest you need to do both. But you do need to decide how much of your nancial resources to devote toward savings and how much toward investments. By paying close attention to your cash ow, you should be able to get a good idea of the best savings and investment mix for your particular situation. For example, if you nd yourself constantly dipping into your long-term investments to pay for short-term needs, you probably dont have enough money in savings. On the other hand, if you consistently nd yourself with large sums in your savings account even after youve paid all your bills, you might be sitting on too much cash which means you should consider moving some of this money into investments with growth potential. Saving and investing thats a winning combination.
LEGISLATIVE HEROES There are always heroes in a tough legislative battle. The HJR-3 ght ended an 11-year losing streak for local lesbian, gay, bi & trans activists. There are plenty of pundits who will afx blame and claim for the effort. Permit me to name a few from the General Assembly where the ght was waged and where I had a front-row seat. **Rep. Ed Delaney (D-Indianapolis) relished his 2011 House Judiciary role, where he gutted the testimony of conservative GOP wunderkind Jim Bopp. Delaney did so again this year, but it was less difcult. Bopp was not effective in 2014. **Rep. Scott Pelath (D-Michigan City), the House Dem leader, held his entire caucus in check and delivered a unanimous oor vote to remove the troublesome second sentence of HJR-3. Included in the number was former Speaker Pat Bauer (D-South Bend) who left the cause in 2011 but returned with his fellow caucus members this year. **Sen. Tim Lanane (D-Anderson) as Senate minority leader provided strong testimony against HJR-3 in the Senate Rules Committee. **Republican Sens. Luke Kenley (Noblesville) and Pete Miller (Avon) staked out no votes early-on. Both provided needed cover for colleagues looking for support. But however you measure it, one legislator stands above the others in 2014 Rep. Ed Clere (R-Jeffersonville) voted against HJR-6 in 2011. He was the only legislative Republican to do so. And then there were 22.
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Out & About

Bill Malcolm / Word Columnist
Its March. Happy Spring break. Its time for a Spring break trip and I have not one, but two great cities for you to consider. First: Washington, D.C. You just cant beat a trip to Washington in March. The daffodils are up and Spring has sprung... well, its supposed to if this snow melts, anyway. Take Amtrak through the mountains for just $78 (www.amtrak.com) from Indianapolis, Lafayette or Cincinnati.The Cardinal train runs three daysa week. It arrives Washington at 6 p.m. and leaves at 11 a.m., so the times are good. What to do once you arrive? Easier to say what NOT to do, but here are a few of my favourite Washington activities... Enjoy the many free museums. My favourites are the U.S. Botanical Garden and the Smithsonian American Art Museum and National Portrait Gallery. Dont miss the new American Cool exhibit, the latest show at the latter. Stay at the Washington Plaza Hotel with weekend rates around $99 per night. Check their website daily to see if the rate you booked has gone down. I also like the Beacon House, which features free use of the Y (which has an indoor pool) across the street. Ride a bike using the new shared bike system. Theyre perfect for getting to the many sites youll want to see, but bring your helmet. Walk around Dupont Circle/15th Street. Lunch at Whole Foods, which has the great hot food bar. Ive never seen a busier grocery and they have a room upstairs to eat lunch and watch the shoppers. Stop by and see your congressman or senator and get a gallery pass to watch congress in action (or inaction as the case may be). Work out by taking a walk or run with the Frontrunners (Saturday mornings) up Rock Creek Park to the National Zoo or (on Tuesdays) from Union Station. Or swim with DCAC, the local swim club which meets almost daily around town. Or hike with the adventuring club. With all that walking (if only through all the many great museums), youll have worked up an appetite. Fortunately the city has a lot of great restaurants. Check out The Washington Blade or Metro Weekly for more ideas on what to do in the gay District. The City Pages is their weekly alternative paper. And whatever you choose to do, dont forget to tell the locals what you pay for rent in your hometown. D.C. is very expensive. Too far to travel? Well then, next we are off to nearby Chicago. Everyone loves a visit to The Windy City. It is the Paris of the Midwest and March is a great time. The Flower Show is at Navy Pier this month (always a great show) and you can visit the indoor gardens at the Peggy Notebart Nature Museum in Lincoln Park. Can you tell I adore plants? For budget travellers, you cant beat the Days Inn in Lincoln Park North (just east of the Diversey Station on the Brown CTA Line, on the #8 Halstead bus route, near the #151 bus route). Rooms include free use of the LA Fitness in the Century Mall next door. Weekday rates are as low as $78 (weekends are actually higher). You can walk to lots of local shops and restaurants (or eat in your room there is a Trader Joes across the street. I like the Rosatis Pizza on
Broadway. The hotel is just a short walk up to the Halsted gay neighbourhood. Other neighbourhood hotel options include the Best Western on Broadway, The Willows on Surf Street, 8 and City Suites. Of course publisher Ted is an old traditionalist and loves State Streets Palmer House or one of the grand hotels on Boul Mich which can be had for reasonable prices if you try to name your own price on Priceline. Who doesnt love the great architecture? There are walking and boat tours available thats one of Anthony Ehlers photos from one of the boats last Fall at right not to mention the shopping along Michigan Avenue is awesome but pricy. Getting to Chicago (to me) is half the fun. Skip the always accident prone drive up I-65 and relax on The Cardinal or Hoosier State, both Amtrak trains. AAA rates are just $24 each way and you can enjoy historic Union Station in Chicago when you arrive. Service is available from Indianapolis, Lafayette and Cincinnati depending on which train you take and day you travel. For those with a bit more adventure looking for a real deal, MegaBus with its free WiFi is another option (www. megabus.com) and has service from Cincinnati, Louisville, Nashville and Indianapolis for as little as $5 (though thats only on selected trips. From Indianapolis, Greyhound Express is another option (also free WiFi and you wait in a station for your bus, not on the street corner). You can also drive to South Bendthen take the South Shore Line train from South Bend Airport. Fare is just $11.50 and itll leave you right in the Loop with no trafc hassles. Getting around once you are in Chicago is easy as long as you dont have a car. A car is VERY expensive to park and parking spots are few and far between. The CTA goes everywhere (Brown and Red Lines go to Belmont, near the Halsted District). As I mentioned already, the #7 Broadway Bus is an option. The Clark #22 bus will take you up to the Clark Street area which also has a lot of great bars, restaurants and shops. Its a former Swedish neighbourhood so plan a meal at Ann Sather. Bus fare is $2 or $2.25 (exact change, no transfers). CTA fares are $2.25 and soon may require the new Ventra Card (you tap your way onto the subway, light rail, etc). Museums are a must: Museum of Science and Industry, The Art Institute and for Middle East fans the Spertus Museum of Jewish culture is a must-see, but leave time for the Field Museum of Natural History or the Shedd Acquarium, too. The new Millennium Park is fun and has an outdoor ice skating rink. For local gay media, check the award-winning Windy City Times. Its in print and online. Thats all for March. Next month we are off to Palm Springs.
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Pink In The Sheets

By Mz. Pink / Word Columnist
Dear Mz. Pink, My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now, and I love being with her. But we argue all the time. I mean we argue about everything from the colour of an object to the temperature outside. I hate it that we argue all the time, but to make matters worse, she thinks she is always right even when she is wrong. Of course, with this being her thought process I cant make her understand some things and another argument ensues. Please help. I need to be the bigger person and not fall victim to arguments and its hard sometimes. How can this become easier? Argued Out in Indy Dear Argued, I know its frustrating to argue; especially when it seems like thats all you do. Arguing, like brushing your teeth, becomes a habit thats very easy to fall victim to even if you hate to argue. Almost all arguments are pointless even if they seem necessary. Im not saying that one person is right or wrong in any situation, it just takes one or both of you to stop the argument before it starts. Here are some helpful tips to prevent a full-blown argument: Dont speak. Gwen Stefani said it best. If you know what is about to happen, you feel the tone you know, just dont say anything. Walk away. Dont just walk away and argue, walk away and do something that will get you out of your frame of mind. Be self aware. Know what youre saying and what youre going to say. Its easy to say the meanest stuff you can dig up, but in the end both of you will just be even angrier and hurt. Teach yourself. Teach yourself to be better in an argument. Say what youre going to say in a less hurtful manner and then move on. Dont fall victim to your partner. She may like arguing, so watch out for the triggers. Up to this point she has been able to push your buttons and get an argument out of you so just dont let that happen. This will take practice and patience. Realise nobody is right in the arguments. Whether you pick blue or pink, it doesnt matter. Spats are spats. Agree to disagree. Pick your battles. If its something small, dont let it get to that awful place of a supersized argument. Think to yourself, Is this something I want to spend the rest of our evening arguing about? If it is, well then, go at it. If not, move on. Take a different approach. You know when you get an annoying song stuck in your head its hard to move on to another tune. Well, as in that situation if you do it differently, its more likely going to change. For example, use a different voice or do something silly when its your turn to get in the ring.
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Just say no. Its not only a good catch phrase for drug use, but in lesbian arguing as well. Finally, if you are going to argue and ght do it fairly. Talk about issues. Dont wait until something that is small has built up to a major issue. Address things in the beginning. Focus on a single situation. Dont veer off from what the main issue really is and solve one problem at a time. Also, try not to personalise your arguments. How you say something can be the make-or-break of a peaceful day. Dont attack your girlfriend, but instead attack the situation. And nally, be prepared to forgive each other and move on. Hopefully these pointers will help you avoid an argument or at least end one more happily. If youre coming to your wits end and just cant take it anymore then you need to decide is the relationship worth the ght. Is she the one you want to spend every day with even if you argue every day? Are the arguments so small that its just a game or does it affect your whole life? Can you live with the spats or would your life be better and more peaceful without them? It has to start with you, but it can become a team effort. Good luck! Mz. Pink
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Sheila's Column
By Sheila Suess Kennedy
This year there was a Valentine for gay, lesbian, bi & trans Hoosiers. In a year that saw same-sex marriage advance across the country, the Indiana legislature was poised to move in the opposite direction. It put the state at the centre of the national debate by considering a ballot measure to ensconce Indianas existing ban on same-sex marriage in the state constitution. The measures much-debated second sentence would also have banned civil unions and any other legal status structurally similar to marriage. Whatever the hell that means. This constitutional amendment has been kicking around Indianas General Assembly for at least ten years. Until this year, opponents had managed to keep it from passing two separately elected legislatures as required before a constitutional amendment can appear on the general election ballot. This year, with a Republican Governor who strongly supported the amendment and Republican super-majorities in both the Indiana House and Senate, prospects for derailing the resolution, dubbed HJR-3 (for House Joint Resolution 3) were not auspicious. And yet despite some last-minute game-playing by the speaker, the House of Representatives stripped out the legally-ambiguous second sentence and the day before Valentines Day the State Senate voted for the version of HJR-3 that had passed the House the versionwithoutthat second sentence. Because Indiana law requires that a constitutional amendment pass two consecutive legislative sessions with identical language, the Valentine vote will keep the measure off the 2014 ballot. If the single-sentence version passes this year which it will and then passes the next legislature, that is the version which will go on the 2016 ballot. Or not. If I were a betting woman, Id wager weve seen the last of this retrograde effort to let the gays know that they just arent worthy of that pesky equal protection of the law thing. By 2016, even the God told me my marriage will be worthless if you get to have one too folks will recognise that this battle isover. So how did Indiana pull this off? The political skills of the young Republican woman who ran the Freedom Indiana campaign (funded largely by business interests opposed to a discriminatory measure that would have made it difcult to lure good employees to the state) were pivotal. The campaign was professional, bipartisan, well-funded and awlessly executed. Both tone and timing were exactly right, and the steady ow of announcements from Indiana mayors, business leaders and clergy opposing HJR-3 had its intended effect. The gay, lesbian, bi & trans community demonstrated maturity and civility. When I rst became involved in gay rights issues 20-plus years ago, it could be very frustrating. There were factions and hissy ts and unhelpful public behaviours. Those behaviours were nowhere to be seen this time around. The community was unied, dignied and focused on what needed to be done. Gay, lesbian, bi & trans folks shared their stories, made their cases and stood up for their rights as citizens, as taxpayers and as Americans. The so-called allies P-FLAG moms and dads, pastors of welcoming churches, business leaders, bloggers and editorial writers, plus hundreds of Hoosiers who care about fundamental fairness and decency shook off their usual apathy and made their opinions known. They swarmed the Statehouse, they wrote letters to the editor, they volunteered at phone banks and they wrote cheques. And for once the democratic process worked the way it is supposed to. Legislators listened to their constituents, their donors, their pastors, and in several cases their children. In a bright-red state not noted for progressive policies, in a Statehouse dominated by Republicans accustomed to doing the will of a rabidly conservative base, the good guys actually won. As my husband likes to say, campaigns matter. Happy belated Valentines Day.
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Hackin The Net

Quick! What time is it? And if you do know (or dont) whats that got to do with a computer and tech column? Well, the answer is everything and giving credit where credit is due, we have been struggling with the time on our computers, our phones, iPads, our atomic clock and our regular, old watches for awhile now because they all show different times at the same time. So what IS the time? Oh, and about that credit...just when I thought I was the only one having this issue along comes, in The Telegraph, the British national newspaper I read daily on www. pressreader.com (Its a great paid service with thousands of the worlds newspapers available for computer, iPad and Droid and worth checking out.) where in a column entitled Time has lost all meaning in the digital age by Alexander Armstrong I see the same issue raised. In it, Armstrong worries about what will become of the pips. No, not the Gladys Knight ones, but those the BBC has been broadcasting for nine decades to signify the precise top of each hour. There are ve beeps (to use a different word than pips) followed by a longer tone signifying exactly when the top of the hour has been reached. The problem, as we sorted out at our house a few months back and Armstrong discussed in his column, is that with all the different media we have these days, no time signal (pips, beeps, that tone CBS Radio uses to start their hourly news or even the NPR top of the hour indicator) really tells when the clock is straight up at any hour for that matter. The reason is the delivery method, and that can cause quite a discrepancy. Armstrong found out about the problem when he tried listening in Christmas Eve to the annual Lessons & Carols from Kings College Cambridge in every room of his home. He reports he put on the broadcast on a regular FM, his internet radio, his iPhone, a digital (in this country called HD) radio and on his computer only to nd that he could not listen in every room of his home simultaneously because his devices were not in synch off by over a minute from the rst to the last to hit the shows 3 oclock start. Go on, I know you readers will be looking with some form of incredulity and want to nd out if Im telling the truth, so put down the paper and put on your favourite station on a radio. Then go to www.tunein.com or any of the other iPhone or internet radio station players (WunderRadio is a fave of ours, too) or the stations website and listen to the same broadcast. You will be amazed at the delay one (likely the internet or phone) receiver has when compared to the on-the-air old fashioned radio. Add in satellite TV audio or SiriusXM options and you add a delay for the signal to go 22,000 to 24,000 miles up and a similar distance back (remember radio waves like light travel at 186,000 miles a second) and theres another time shift. Try the internet and things are strained through miles of mostly undersea cables if you are listening to an overseas station. Theres a great map showing all the internet cables and their routes which you can nd online at www.submarine-cable-map-2014. telegeography.com Give that a look and youll nd out one of 10 undersea cables could be carrying that BBC or other British show to your computer, travelling under the Atlantic via UK beaches and U.S. terminals, mostly in New York or New Jersey. Is it any wonder those pips or that broadcast gets a bit out of synch along the way?
By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher
The issue gets further complicated when you add in the fact internet TV or radio even works. As my old friend Andy Granger told me when internet radio was in its infancy (and Seattles classical KING-FM teamed up with Real Audio to try it). There was no XM or Sirius, much less Netix or other services delivered via the net, when Andy told me, Theres no way this should work. Just keep that in mind. What he was meaning was (and is) that for a symphony or a rock concert or even a talk show to get streamed it has to be split into a gazillion tiny packets then sent down the line while the receiving computer picks them out of the literally millions of other items on the internet and puts them back together all in microseconds so Beethovens 5th still sounds the same here as it did in Sydney and Katy Perry sounds like she did when broadcast in London. Imagine the fun it would be if you got packets of both intermingled! But back to the time. In the day we had clocks and a few of we brave shortwave radio lovers set ours via WWV, the U.S. governments time & frequency standards station just outside Fort Collins, Colorado. It still exists and still broadcasts on 2.5, 5, 10, 15 and 20 MHz. If you own a shortwave radio (we still do) you can hear the WWV signals to set your watch. Check out http://www.nist.gov/pml/div688/grp40/wwv.cfm for a complete history of the station and more info. Also you can listen via the net, but be aware of this disclaimer on the WWV website: Where can I see NIST time on the Internet? The current time is shown on the Internet at www.time.gov - it synchronizes with NIST every ten minutes. There is an accuracy statement based on a measurement of the round-trip network delay. This delay is measured using your computer clock as a timer each time synchronization is made. The site provides a time-of-day service, and it should not be used to measure frequency or time interval, nor should it be used to establish traceability to NIST... NIST, by the way, stands for the National Institute of Standards & Technology, which is a part of the U.S. Department of Commerce. But what does that say or mean? All that tech talk about network delays and synchronization means that what you hear on the shortwave and what you hear online are probably not going to be exactly in synch. The good news is that these will be off by so little most folks will not notice (Or dare we say care?) but they will be off. Add satellite delivery, different radio formats (regular and HD in this country) as well as listening via other devices and what time it is starts to get hazy. Compare the time of that beep on your fave station to the time on your phone (set by the nearest cell towers clock which connects to the NIST and the companys computers which provide the towers service) and there is another option to answer the age-old question: What time is it? Is it any wonder that after 90 years those BBC pips are in grave danger? They do have a neat history (which you can read about at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenwich_ Time_Signal) and just like the sound of Big Ben is associated with the BBC will always be as well, so do not look for them to go away. But just as Armstrong said in his Telegraph article a few weeks ago and we discovered at our house, the pips may be historic, but dont trust them to give you the exact time in this modern era because they dont. They are still a fun bit of history and if you travel to the UK and tune in on a regular FM or Longwave radio they will still be accurate. Anywhere or via anything else, you probably dont have time to know about. Besides, for most of us being within a minute or two is good enough to make that beauty shop or dinner appointment and we dont really care about microseconds. Unless, of course we are trying to listen to the same broadcast via the internet, a radio or live, but we already explained all that.
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Panthers Perspective
By Panther Daddy / Word Columnist
Power and control. Two of the more lobbed about words I hear on my journey in the jungle of kink and leather. Subs want Doms to control and have power over them and Doms want complete and absolute control over their subs. This power exchange dynamic is a key element in any kink relationship. However, exchange implies uidity and movement. Energy is given and received. That is generally referred to as chemistry. Ive had subs and boys guarantee they will give me ultimate power and control over them. They promise a momentary and sometimes, lifetime commitment of fullling my every wish and sexual desire, if I would only take control of them. Ill be able to decide what they wear, how they look, when to go to the bathroom, even, when they can orgasm. Youd think that as a Daddy, I would jump at the chance to have that type
of ultimate control over someone. Truth be told, my anxiety level tends to increase when approached by a sub/boy with this type of mindset. Besides the glaringly obvious issue of giving this type of latitude to an unknown entity, I question if the boy truly understands what it means. Especially, when it comes from someone brand, not yet spanked, new. It sets off a deafening alarm in my spirit. Just because a boy has a laundry list of what he wants done doesnt mean that as a Daddy, I will be accommodating. Conversely, no boy/sub has to accommodate the desires on my laundry list just because Im a Daddy. For either party to expect that is the ultimate denition of control. If my memory of history lessons is accurate, at some point in time, the slaves rebelled against the control of their Masters. We have new people coming into the community at mind boggling rates. Many of them younger and with the use of mobile devices and technology have downloaded, absorbed and can regurgitate verbatim, the article(s) that in their mind, have made them an expert in kink. Facts are important. They give you general information that allows the reader to get a basic understanding of a subject. However, when that information is taken as law and applied across the board to human beings, it becomes a set-up for disappointment and disillusion. Contrary to popular belief, the kink community is not attached to a collective brain where we draw all of our ideas, thoughts and behaviours. We each bring to the table a unique blend of experiences and energies that will shape our world and our perspectives. Sometimes they will mix well with others, but other times they wont mix at all. When they do mix the results have the potential to be very magical. This is why getting to know the person before handing your body, mind and soul over to them is key for both the Dom and sub. This will not only help both parties feel safe but also creates the opportunity to have a more complete and transformative experience. We all have to the power within us to do this. All we have to do is give up control. Some upcoming events for the month of March: Bluegrass Leather Pride, Louisville, 28th February through 2nd March. Info: www.bluegrassleatherpride.com Behind the Mask, Mardi Gras 2014, Chill Bar, Louisville, 1st March @ 9 p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/chillbarlouisville Midwest Mardi Gras Madness Party, Phantasy Concert Club, Lakewood, Ohio, 1st March @ 9p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/midwestmardigrasmadnessparty Freedom from HJR-3, 501 Eagle, Indianapolis, 8th March @ 9 p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/freedomfromhjr-3 or www.501eagle.com Liberty and Justice for All, 501 Eagle, Indianapolis, 8th March @ 10 p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/libertyandjusticeforall or www.501eagle.com The Decade Potluck, Rosies Tavern, Covington, Ky., 16th March @ 4 p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/thedecadepotluck Bret and Kyle Short Film Premiere, Chill Bar, Louisville, 16th March @ 7 p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/brettandkyleshortlmpremiere Leather and Leprechauns, Below Zero Lounge, Cincinnati, 17th March @ 6 p.m. Info: www.facebook.com/leatherandleprechauns If you have an event youd like posted in Panthers Perspective, send the information to Ebony Papa@aol.com
Guest Comment
By Billy Glover / Gay Historian
(EDITORS NOTE Billy Glover is a well-known gay & lesbian historian. We have run his items in this space before and this is his latest submission. He can be reached via email at billygloverhic@hotmail.com) The headline read: Gay Student Condemned By Church Dies By Suicide Ben Wood, 21, bullied by Church Youth Leader, takes his own life.And the story? Asheville, North Carolina William Ben Wood was 21 when he died on the oor of his dorm at UNC-Asheville. Friends who found him said that he was drawn up in a fetal position 8th May 2013, having slashed open his veins. The loss of this sensitive, justice-seeking young gay man is a tragedy by most accounts his friends and schoolmates say he was a ne student, but in his nal months his grades and school performance had plunged. The university junior couldnt deal with the prospect of going back to his neighbourhood in Asheville without being a student any longer, according to his mothers account in the Reconciling Ministries Network Blog . As a teen, he had been irreparably wounded by a youth leader at his home church as he prepared to go on a mission trip with his friends from the United Methodist Youth Fellowship. His mom, Julie Wood, recounts how the misguided youth leader singled out her son for being gay in front of his peers. The leader said, You all know, we all know, that Ben is gay. Who here is comfortable being around him? Demanding a response from each youth in the group, the leader then said, Do you understand that Ben is going to hell? Once again, the Youth Leader pressed each youth for an answer about Ben. Crushed, exposed, and broken by the experience, Ben came home while his UMYF friends left on the bus for the mission trip. His mother, who stalwartly
contends that their home church is a loving and supportive place, says that this was the trigger experience she believes led to the suicide of her son a few agonizing years later. Mrs. Wood writes: Ben was told that he was not worthy of going on the mission trip. He had been shamed, humiliated, and betrayed. He was told that he did not deserve to be a part of the group. He was no representative of God. Out of our front window, I saw the goldish colored Caviler abruptly whip into our driveway. Ben ran up the porch steps and stood in the doorway. One look, and I knew something horrible had happened. The ushed sides of his cheeks quivered as did his lip. His breathing was rapid and his eyes just about to spill over. The church bus was loaded with Bens friends to go on that mission trip while my betrayed and broken son, walked alone around Salem Lake. He must have felt so very abandoned and isolated. While he never lost his compassion for others, I think that this was the day that he gave up on people and God. Skeptics may argue that there is no clear correspondence between the suicide of a young gay man years after the shaming incident that took place in a church youth group in his teens. Others will say that the church is basically a loving and supportive place, but is put in a hard situation by teachings like those of the United Methodist Church that send an ambiguous, essentially rejecting message about lesbians and gay people. On the one hand, the social teachings of the church say that every person, including homosexuals, is of sacred worth. On the other, the United Methodist Church stubbornly rejects homosexuality as incompatible with Christian teaching denying ordination and marriage to gay and lesbian people and defrocking clergy who carry out same-sex marriage ceremonies or who live openly as lesbian or gay people. So who stands guilty of Ben Woods death? The youth minister who was applying what he believed the teachings of his church on homosexuality to be? Bens so-called friends who one-by-one (under pressure from an adult leader, of course) abandoned Ben to shame and broken heartedness? The theologians and clergy of the church who cannot seem to reconcile the love of God on the one hand and social heterosexism and homophobia on the other? And what of Bens own responsibility to transcend the suffering of his youth though this latter argument is little more than blaming a victim for his own demise? Ben had a kind and loving soul, with a great sense of humour... and his obituary went on to say that three clergy spoke at his funeral, and that his own maternal grandfather was a clergyman. But Ben found so little hospitality and comfort from the churches around him and the clergy who served them that he could not and did not reach out to them in his darkest hours. So, a sensitive, socially conscious young man, who happened to be gay and Christian, took his own life. Dr. Stephen V. Sprinkle, Professor of Practical Theology at Brite Divinity School, and a native North Carolinian himself, issues this opinion and prayer for other young gay, lesbian, bi & trans persons: The churches and their leadership have much to answer for in the deaths of young people like Ben Wood. While we may not be able to point to a smoking gun linking the suicide of young persons condemned by church teachings to the culpability of the churches, there is no doubt that Christian heterosexism and homophobia contribute to the climate that denigrates lesbian, gay, bi & trans people and creates undue suffering in their lives. Indeed, there are progressive and welcoming churches and clergy, and for them we give thanks. But they are too few, and the silence of church people about the prejudice condemning gay and lesbian folk is a major contributing factor in the horror of spiritual violence against them. Dr. Sprinkle concludes: Let us be crystal clear about this: the heterosexism and homophobia Ben Wood experienced in his life is a Christian heresy one the churches and clergy of every stripe must nd the courage to repent of and repudiate. And we must do everything we can to make amends to youth like Ben, and to their families.
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Medical Matters
A couple topics for this month...the rst very near and dear to our hearts as the resident cold/u in the Midwest has certainly visited our house... Michael W. Rosen, M.D. speaks about it when he asks: Cough, snife, achoo! Cold and u germs have some crafty ways of getting around, dont they? Often, these viral villains take to the air. They spread by airborne droplets when someone coughs, sneezes or even talks. They can also land on surfaces and hitch a ride when you touch them with your hands. Germ ghting 101 Of course, a yearly u vaccine is one of the best ways to avoid getting inuenza. But, theres more you can do, too. These stay-well strategies can help keep you and your family from getting or passing along a cold or u bug: 1.) Hit the sink. Be sure to wash your hands regularly to remove any germs. A good, thorough scrubbing is key. That means for at least 20 seconds with soap and warm water. 2.) Pack extra protection. Soap and water arent always available. So, keep hand sanitiser in your car, your bag or tote and your workspace, too. Look for products that contain at least 60 percent alcohol. 3.) Be hands-off! Try to limit how much you touch your face. Germs can enter your body through your eyes, nose or mouth. 4.) Cover that cough! Make it a habit to cough or sneeze into a tissue, handcerchief or the crook of your elbow. And, teach friends, lovers and your kids this trick, too. 5.) Keep your distance. As much as possible, try to avoid close contact with anyone whos ill. And, if you get sick, stay home until youre better. 6.) Wipe em out. Regularly clean surfaces you touch often such as mobile phones, keyboards, remote controls, door handles and countertops. Use a disinfecting wipe on things that shouldnt get in water (like that iPhone) or soapy water and a household disinfectant for things you can get wet. 7.) Share not. Remind your boyfriend, girlfriend or visitors not to share items such as cups, silverware or toothbrushes. 8.) Build a strong defence. When you take care of yourself, you help your body ght off illness. So, be sure to get plenty of sleep. Choose healthy foods and get regular exercise (But be sure to talk with your doctor before signicantly increasing your activity level.) And, try to keep stress in check, too. Its also vital to stay in the know. Get the latest information on u season at Flu. gov. Youll nd timely updates plus prevention pointers, u-care tips and more. Discover more infection-protection information at myuhc.com. Click Health & Wellness. Type colds or u into the search box. Meanwhile, with Spring coming, that means its soon going to be time to put away that down jacket and break out the shorts, cycle gear or speedos and you need to start planning now to be ready, according to Melanie Polk, M.M.Sc., R.D.N., F.A.D.A., and Arleen Fitzgerald, L.I.C.S.W. You tried the grapefruit diet. But, you soured on that pretty quickly. And, any pounds you lost came back, plus a few more. So, next time, you followed a more balanced eating plan. The weight came off and you felt great! But, once Winter rolled around, you let your healthy new habits slip and watched the numbers on the scale creep back up. Does this frustrating tale of weight lost and regained sound familiar? This up-and-down, or yo-yo, dieting is what experts call weight cycling. And theres some evidence it may have negative effects on health and well-being. In the long run, people who get into this cycle can end up heavier and more discouraged than when they started. So, how do you get off this unpleasant roller coaster? Here are a few secrets of people who have successfully lost weight and, more important, kept it off!
Avoid a quick x. Research shows that people who trim down slowly and steadily about one to two pounds a week are more likely to maintain their weight loss over time. Banish the word diet. Its not about what you can do without. Its about what you can live with. Think of your weight-control efforts as a way of life. You need to develop habits you can stick with for months and years to come. For example, here are two wise eating habits you can depend on for a lifetime: Choose healthy foods most often. And, watch your portion sizes. Be active, active, active. People who avoid weight cycling often have something in common: They rely on regular physical activity to help control their weight. Ask yourself: How much exercise do I need? Get a trainer, see a gym, join a running or bike club and, after consulting with your doctor, add some activity to your life every day. Eat a healthy breakfast. Make it a routine its a practice shared by those most likely to maintain weight loss. One explanation: It may help reduce the urge to overeat later in the day. As a dieting guru once told a reader: Think of breakfast as putting the fat you wish to melt off on a re. Stoke the furnace and melt it faster! Stay in check. You dont need to be obsessed with the number on the scale, but many people nd its a great early warning system. so if you notice it inching up, dont think, Im a failure. That may start an emotional spiral that could lead you further off course. Instead, give yourself a mental pep talk Ive got this! And refocus on the healthy habits you know will get you back on track. Your attitude does make a difference. So, tell yourself that youll do your best and dont dwell on mistakes. This mind-set will boost your chances of lasting success. And youll enjoy the journey a lot more, too! We want to help so get support to reach your goals at myuhc.com. Click Health & Wellness. Then, select Weight Management from the I Do section. There are a lot of tips and ideas there and its free as well. Start now and you will be ready for Palm Springs or P-town when Summer vacation gets here. 2013, United HealthCare Services, Inc. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission from Healthy Mind Healthy Body where you can register for your own monthly newsletter: www.uhc.com/myhealthnews
To keep our lawyers happy, be advised that the recommendations which are contained in this column are suggestions, but are not to be taken as medical advice. Always consult your physician or a healthcare professional before undertaking any physical fitness or other exercise programme.
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Music Corner
By DJ "Miss" Hill / MJ's Cafe / Dayton
Catch DJ Hill every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at MJs Caf in Dayton. Hills Top 10. Based on dance oor results & requests (Not what he thinks is hot) 1 - Katy Perry feat Juicy J - Dark Horse (Mike D Mix) 2 - Pitbull feat Ke$ha - Timber 3 - Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull - Live It Up 4 - Justin Timberlake - TKO 5 - Britney Spears - Work Bitch 6 - Enrique Iglesias ft Pitbull - Im A Freak 7 - Lorde - Royals (Darku J Mix) 8 - Demi Lovato (Cole Plante Myon n Shane 54 Mix)
9 - Lady Gaga feat. R. Kelly - Do What U Want 10 - Pink ft Lily Allen - True Love Hey, kids!!! DJ Hill here. Im still sayin the YAY! Its March and youd think there would be new stuff out there but apparently everyone is still on Christmas break or frozen somewhere. They better get on cause Spring Break is coming up fast. But anyway heres what I have this month. Keep in mind these are just suggestions for those who want to get away from the usual Top 40 radio mixes. Mary Lambert - She Keeps Me Warm: Wow...we have one for the ladies this month. A cute love song for the community turned dance hit with the Liam Keegan Club Mix. Shakira - Cant Remember To Forget You: I have no problem forgetting Shakira but she keeps popping up. All her stuff sounds alike and I just cant get into her music. The mixes arent bad but they dont help. The Fedde Le Grand Mix is overly DubSteppy. And then theres the Reid Stefan Mix (whom Ive never heard of) which is too choppy. Find a beat and stick with it. Fortunately theres the Razor -n- Guido Mix. It helps a lot but they forgot to mute vocals. Oh, wait. They did do a Dub Mix! Katy Perry - Dark Horse: What the Hell is this? It reminds me of a Gwen Stefani song but I cant place it. Even the Mike D Mix is boring. Snoozer! Lady GaGa - Do What You Want: It took a while but we nally got some remixes of GaGas latest. And a bunch are bootlegs. But I guess thats better than nothing. For that Clubby sound we have the Jose Spinnin Cortes Mix. This is probably the best one Ive heard so far. I expected more from the Chew Fu Mix because he normally does hot mixes but was kind of bland on this one. And my favourite complaint...the farting robot is all over the Kronic Mix but it kind of grows on you. Plus this mix features Christina Aguilera. Thats a bonus. Pink featuring Nate Ruess - Just Give Me A Reason: I love me a good Pink love song but you cant dance to it. The Liam Keegan Mix takes care of that dilemma. The harmony between the two are lovely and we get a good pounding beat to back them up. If you prefer a more high tech sound then the Fat Loud Electro Mix is for you but be warned. Most of Nates vocals were sucked out of the mix. Booooo!!! Thats it for now. Hopefully the artists and producers get it together for new stuff next month. With my luck it will be an April Fools trick. Keep your ngers crossed. Check me out at MissHillDJ.com or nd me on Facebook under DJ-Douglas Hill. Id love to hear from you. Happy clubbing!
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pecs and the

by Matt Ponder
When you step into a boxing ring, you know whats coming. The wet slap of a glove in your eye socket, the jaw-rattling right cross that shakes your teeth inside your mouth guard, even the burn of the ropes on your back when you are corralled by your opponent. For those of you who will never set foot in a ring, heres another way to look at it: when its time for a shot from the doctor, you see the needle, you look away and the sharp sting follows like the farewell of a bee on a burning Summers day. Pain is real and bright and it usually announces itself before it comes so you always know what happens next. But in our day-to-day lives, we spend most of our time avoiding any unnecessary discomfort. Therefore when you meet someone who ignites your heart, you do whatever it takes to avoid any pain. Everyone has something to hide. Whether its a secret crush or a hidden rage or a crippling emotional problem, it can lie buried beneath layers of designer clothes, well-honed muscle or a frozen smile that masks the real feeling inside. Sometimes it bubbles to the surface usually when we least expect it. The crush is revealed after a couple of drinks, the rage is ignited over a tiny slight or the emotional barrier crumbles even though you are in the warm, safe connes of a relationship. So why do we hide the things that make us human? Why do we hide the beat of our heart and the truth in our soul? Because we are all afraid of getting hurt. So how do we avoid the pain? Some people become someone else, leaving their true nature behind to make someone happy. They deny who they really are to become someone else; someone they believe is the one their partner wants. Thats not to say that some people cant keep an open mind and try new things with a new partner, but some people completely transform themselves into a false representation of who they are and what they want in order to keep the relationship alive. Some people say things they dont mean because they believe its what the other person wants to hear. They say: I love you when they are not sure if thats what they are feeling. They say: That sounds fun, even though its something they hate. They say: Everythings ne even though it isnt. Saying everything is ne is something we do every day. People say: How are you? and we say: Fine, thanks, even when we are the furthest thing from it. Can you imagine if everyone answered honestly when they were asked how they were doing? No one would get anything done, and we would end up sharing our personal lives with complete strangers. Maybe that is why we dont do it. When someone you dont know asks you how you are doing, what do you think they would say if you said: My dog just died or My boyfriend just broke up with me or even if you went the other direction and said: Im awesome. I just got a blowjob in the parking lot of the tanning salon. The reason we say it is that ne is what people want to hear. So thats our programmed response to hide how we truly feel. We hide things in other ways, too. Suppose you have a crush on someone you see every day in the gym or behind the counter at a coffee shop or even walking past your window. Do you say anything? Not likely. And why is that? To avoid the pain of being rejected or nding out they are already connected or even the fact that they dont share your sexuality. So we say nothing and daydream of what it would be like to talk to them, to hold their hand, to kiss them as rain pours down around you. The problem with this situation is simple: what if none of that is true? What if they are just like you, timing their workouts to coincide with yours, making sure they
are behind the coffee counter just to see you or taking the route past your window in hopes that one day you will say something? Hiding from pain means losing the opportunity to nd something spectacular in another human being. Pain doesnt always count on someone else. There are the hidden fears that we disguise so even the general public thinks we are something we are not. The pain of hiding what we truly are, whether its a sensitive poet, a terried virgin or even a player with a checkered past can be immense. The poet becomes a callous smartass, the virgin trumpets endless ctional conquests and the person with the skeletons in his closet reinvents himself with a bright and shining halo. But we all know who we are when we look in the mirror, dont we? All of us lie in the dark with whatever secrets weigh heavy on our hearts while trying to avoid the pain that may come from revealing our true faces. When we tell people we are something were not, we lose our identities in what they want us to be. When someone rejects you or laughs at you or merely ignores your existence altogether, its not because there is something wrong with you, its because what they want and what they truly need is not reected in you. And if it is, and they cant acknowledge that, then they are the ones hiding from pain. They are the ones denying themselves the joy of nally being able to be themselves with you because they are afraid. The saying goes that misery loves company. Well guess what? Fear loves it, too. When someone tells you that you cant achieve what you want, sometimes its because they are living with the fear of failure themselves. When someone tells you that you are not good enough for them, sometimes it means that they are afraid you might decide that they arent good enough for you. When someone tells you that your relationship is over, sometimes they are afraid that because they truly love you, they might lose you somewhere down the line. Why suffer and face the pain, when fear is easier to live with? Or is that even living? Lets face it most people are living their lives without an ounce of courage. What you have to realise is that courage is not the absence of fear, but realising that something is more important than fear. Its not just that we fear we arent good enough or smart enough or pretty enough, its that we fear how amazing we can truly be. Its scary to be awesome. Believe me, I should know. But giving up fear means you have to embrace the pain that will denitely head your way. See, without pain, without sacrice, we have nothing. Pain is what makes us human. Pain illuminates us and guides us and forces us up off the mat to ght again. While we are drowning in pain, it blinds us, trying to trick us to see if we are strong enough to live to ght another day. When it passes, we are triumphant. We can see for miles and our heads clear of the clouds of doubt. How much pain you feel is usually directly proportionate to how much you feel the emotion it is linked with whether its the dedication you have to achieving a goal or the capacity to love with all your heart. Pain can be the best teacher you have ever had, because anything worth having whether its love or freedom or a knockout in the third round is worth every drop of pain that leaks from your body. Fear no pain. And nd out who you truly are.
Gossip Cats
By Gossipcats Britain & Sydney
Time Marches on and in this year of never-ending Winter weather we cats are sure most of you not our nutty owner Ted, but most normal folk are excited to see Spring on the horizon somewhere. As for we cats, well we shall keep our Winter coats on just a wee bit longer, but we do have plenty of news you can hopefully use, so lets thaw out those paws and get to typing... First off a lot of big, big birthday wishes both to come in March and just passed. Most importantly, owner and brusher of these cats Anthony turns 22 this month so we want to wish him a very happy b-day. We pussies knew him when he was a mere slip of a boy and hes now all cute and hot and grown up, but he can still wield a really gentle cat brush when we need our fur groomed. Happy Birthday 15th March!... In the past (translate that missed) birthday list, we were told we managed to miss Metro manager Duffys big 6-0 a few weeks back and for that we cats are indeed sorry. Nice to know things are going well and belated happy day!... And also on the belated birthday wishes list, it was a big one for Indys outstanding DJ and grande dame Tim Dale. Thats Tim (at right for those who might not know him) in the photo below celebrating his big day with the long-time Unicorn Club manager Clepha, with whom he worked for many a wild night. The photo was of this years celebration at English Ivys. Happy day to one and all!... Moving right along, its not so happy but one of the subjects of a piece here last month has apparently had a customer blow his cool and said guy throw out this newspaper and Teds rack both from the business. Wed say who and where but this guy has plenty of work for his attorney already (we hear) so we will just say Ted hopes the crazed customer returns his Word rack since its no longer in use. And to readers who cannot nd the paper at one of its old locations please look elsewhere or read we cats every month online at www.thegayword.com As we say: you can slow us down a bit, but you cant stop us! ...Speaking of readers, several called to tell us that these cats good pals (and one of the cutest couples in Indiana) Trae and Mathew have landed on their feet at The Varsity, where they are serving up the drinks to a lot of their old friends. Of course with Traes prowess as an acrobat (he even teaches the skill on the side) it wouldnt matter which end was up as he can always nd his way. Congrats guys and much good luck!... Speaking of luck, continued good luck and speedy recovery to Cincinnatis Worley Rodehaver. Hes a fellow newspaperman like our owner and spent a few days as a guest of one of the Queen Citys hospitals in February. All the best to you for a fast and total get well!... Next, we cats get accused of doing a lot of judging and speaking of judging, we do not know about judges, but do know two of the areas best known family attorneys did what a lot of folks wanted to in February they skipped town for warmer climes then posted the pics on Facebook. One barrister was seen on the beach in Miami while the other appeared to prefer posting pics of the scenery and not himself, but he was in Hawaii! Guess, judging from what we read, they are all back and waiting for Spring weather to catch up to the Midwest... Finally, speaking of catching up, we cats have always loved catching up on the latest from our friend Jimmy who has spent the last few years in the kitchen at English Ivys so we will certainly miss him as hes given notice and is moving to be with a friend and start anew in Milwaukee. We will not only miss sharing tales of days long ago, but sure will miss his smile, bubbly personality and his cooking, too. All the best as you head off to conquer new worlds, Jimmy! Meow!
Food For Thought

By Ted Fleischaker / Word Publisher
Usually you will nd a restaurant or three reviewed in this space, but this month the reviewer has some comments hed like to share instead. Consider the comments here personal or things you might think, too, but dare not say while dining out. Oh, and read to the end and you might win a free meal, too! The biggest thing I want to talk about is drinks. Not the alcoholic kind, but the other kind. The teas, sodas, juices and other odds and ends which restaurants tempt you with when you are handed a menu and assigned a seat. And what I have to say probably wont thrill too many of my restaurant customers, but should help those who read us regularly. In two words: Dont order. Make that two other words if youd prefer: Drink water. If you do skip the cola, coffee, tea or juice, you will be amazed how much you chop off the typical bill. Depending where you go, those iced teas you can make at home for 12 will add anywhere from $1.50 to $4 to your bill. A Pepsi at one spot added $2.99. Juice at another $2.94 (How they got that I will never know.) Still another spot hit me $1.89 for a small coffee and when I went to get it (all they give you is a cup and the rest is self-serve) they were out of hazelnut I wanted. I could go on but the moral here is check that price before you say yes to the seemingly innocent waiters request of Can I get you a drink while you look over the menu? Next, what about staff and tipping. There have been a number of hacked off waiters and waitresses sending notes around on social media where folks, instead of cash, left tracts, Bible quotes or said they were too poor to tip. The posts were aming against such folks, and this reviewer can agree with a majority (but not all) of the comments service staffs have posted. We do not feel any tracts or faked money which is really some religious literature made to look like cash just for cheating waiters should ever be left for a tip. We also strongly question someone who goes out with only so many dollars in their pocket or left on their credit limit, over-spends on the meal and doesnt have a tip. Staff who take care of you are sadly and woefully underpaid with management of restaurants expecting tips to bring their pay up to a living wage. When you run out of money or leave religious claptrap you are hurting that staffer directly. On the other side of the coin, however (and I have said this before and really cranked off some service staff I know, despite its truth) if theres no or poor service nd out why and ask what the issue is. Its not the servers fault if the kitchen is on the slows or is backed up, though the server should tell the customers he or she is doing his best to get their food out. Said staffer should also talk to a manager about it so he or she can offer a discount or extra salad, dessert or apology. That doesnt excuse the restaurant, but should make management wake up and take notice that there are issues. Meanwhile, if it IS the servers fault then do nd out the issue. If she or hes just been on a smoke break or not on the job then do as I do tell a manager why and leave a smaller or no tip. I can count on one hand the number of times I have had to resort to this in the past year, but it has happened. In any case, a tip must be earned. Those who do little or nothing deserve little or nothing. Ask anywhere I frequent and my tip is always 20-30% because as a regular I expect and I get good service. Thats because the staff know I am prepared to pay for it. If you go out with just enough cash in your pocket to pay the restaurant but not enough to tip properly or at all, do the world a favour and stay home, select a cheaper restaurant (one with a drive-thru) or ask a friend or dining partner if he or she can spot you the cash to tip whats proper. Finally, and your chance to express an opinion and win a meal: Ive been the butt of friends jokes because I have been known to walk out of a restaurant if the wait time is too long, either because I failed to plan and reserve or they dont take reservations. Several buds have told me its rude not to wait but I contend that a restaurant is the same as a department store or any other business with something to sell. If they do not have what you came for, you are not obligated to buy. If a restaurant tells me (as Bru on Mass Ave did one weekday at lunch) Ill be waiting 45 minutes and I say no thanks...Ill come another day then I have no problem with that. So my contest and question for readers is this: Am I morally obligated to stay and wait it out at a restaurant where I have no reservation or other commitment or can or should I say see ya another day politely and move on if I choose not to wait? Id love to hear what you think so send a note to ted@midwestword.com and give me your two cents worth. Ill print the best replies signed or not but while an address or name are strictly voluntary, if you wish to divulge your contact info (not for publication), Ill have my crew pick out one persons response at random and we will send them a $50 gift card to dine out on us. Well do the drawing on 15th March so think about it and tell me what you think. Next month Ill put away my soap box and well be back to our normal reviews so join me then.
Page 58
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