Basic Principles of Effective Writing

Preview
An Introduction to Writing The Writing Process The First and Second Steps in Writing The Third Step in Writing The Fourth Step in Writing Four Bases for Revising Writing

College offers many different challenges for students. In order to be a successful student, it can be helpful to know your individual strengths and weaknesses. Take a few minutes to think about your strengths and weaknesses as a student. How can you use this information to be a better student?

An Introduction

to Writing

Though some of us may stumble upon the job of our dreams, many of us have also had a job that seemed more like a nightmare. In this chapter you will read a student s paragraph about his worst job. Think about the best or worst job you have ever had. !ater in the chapter you will be asked to write a paragraph of your own on this topic. Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ This ,oo- grows out of e.periences I had when learning how to write+ % earl )e)ories of writing in school are not pleasant+ In )iddle school* I re)e),er getting ,ac- paper after paper on which the onl co))ent was /(andwriting ver poor+0 In high school* the night ,efore a ,oo- report was due* I would wor- an.iousl at a card ta,le in ) ,edroo)+ I was nervous and sweat ,ecause I felt out of ) ele)ent* li-e a person who -nows onl how to open a can of soup ,eing as-ed to coo- a five'course )eal+ The act of writing was hard enough* and ) feeling that I wasn1t an good at it )ade )e hate the process all the )ore+ 2uc-il * in college I had an instructor who changed ) negative attitude a,out writing+ 3uring ) first se)ester in co)position* I reali4ed that ) instructor repeatedl as-ed two 5uestions a,out an paper I wrote6 /What is our point70 and /What is our support for that point70 I learned that sound writing consists ,asicall of )a-ing a point and then providing evidence to support or develop that point+ As I understood* practiced* and )astered these and other principles* I ,egan to write effective papers+ B the end of the se)ester* )uch of ) uneasiness and ,ad feelings a,out writing had disappeared+ I -new that co)petent writing is a s-ill that I or an one can learn with practice+ It is a nuts'and',olts process consisting of a nu),er of principles and techni5ues that can ,e studied and )astered+ Further* I learned that while there is no alternative to the wor- re5uired for co)petent writing* there is satisfaction to ,e gained through such wor-+ I no longer feared or hated writing* for I -new I could wor- at it and ,e good at it+ "nglish #kills e.plains in a clear and direct wa the four ,asic principles ou )ust learn to write effectivel 6 1 " 8 : Start with a clearl stated point+ Provide logical* detailed support for our point+ 9rgani4e and connect our supporting )aterial+ Revise and edit so that our sentences are effective and error'free+

Part 9ne of this ,oo- e.plains each of these steps in detail and provides

)an practice )aterials to help ou )aster the)+ ;nderstanding Point and Support An I)portant 3ifference ,etween Writing and Tal-ing In ever da conversation* ou )a-e all -inds of points* or assertions+ <ou sa * for e.a)ple* /I hate ) =o,0> /Sue1s a reall generous person0> or /That e.a) was unfair+0 The points that ou )a-e concern such personal )atters as well as* at ti)es* larger issues6 /A lot of doctors are arrogant0> /The death penalt should e.ist for certain cri)es0> /To,acco and )ari=uana are e5uall dangerous+0 The people ou are tal-ing with do not alwa s challenge ou to give reasons for our state)ents+ The )a -now wh ou feel as ou do* or the )a alread agree with ou* or the si)pl )a not want to put ou on the spot> and so the do not alwa s as- /Wh 70 But the people who read what ou write )a not -now ou* agree with ou* or feel in an wa o,liged to ou+ If ou want to co))unicate effectivel with readers* ou )ust provide solid evidence for an point ou )a-e+ An i)portant difference* then* ,etween writing and tal-ing is this6 In writing, any idea that you advance must be supported with specifi c reasons or details. Thin- of our readers as reasona,le people+ The will not ta-e our views on faith* ,ut the are willing to consider what ou sa as long as ou support it+ There fore* re)e),er to support with specific evidence an state)ent that ou )a-e+ Point and Support in Two Cartoons The following two $eanuts cartoons will show ou 5uic-l and clearl what ou need to write effectivel + <ou need to -now how to ?1@ )a-e a point and ?"@ support the point+ 2oo- for a )o)ent at the following cartoon6 Peanuts ! ;nited Feature S ndicate* Inc+ See if ou can answer the following 5uestions6 A A What is Snoop 1s point in his paper7 <our answer6 (is point is that What is his support for his point7 <our answer6

Snoop 1s point* of course* is that dogs are superior to cats+ But he offers no support whatsoever to ,ac- up his point+ There are two =o-es here+ First* he is a dog* so he is naturall going to ,elieve that dogs are

superior+ The other =o-e is that his evidence ?/The =ust are* and that1s all there is to itB0@ is no )ore than e)pt words+ (is so)ewhat guilt loo- in the last panel suggests that he -nows he has not proved his point+ To write effectivel * ou )ust provide real support for our points and opinions+ Cow loo- at this other cartoon a,out Snoop as a writer+ See if ou can answer the following 5uestions6 A A What is Snoop 1s point a,out the hero in his writing7 <our answer6 (is point is that What is his support for his point7 <our answer6

Snoop 1s point is that the hero1s life has ,een a disaster+ This ti)e* Snoop has an a,undance of support for his point6 the hapless hero never had an luc-* )one * friends* love* laughter* applause* fa)e* or answers+ But the fl aw in Snoop 1s www+)hhe+co)Dlangan co)position is that he does not use enough supporting details to reall prove his point+ Instead* he pla s the opposites ga)e with his support ?/(e wanted to ,e loved+ (e died unloved+0@ As readers* we wonder who the hero wanted to ,e loved , 6 his )other7 a heroine7 a ,eagle7 To s )pathi4e with the hero and understand the nature of his disastrous life* we need )ore specifics+ In the final panel of the cartoon* Snoop has that guilt e.pression again+ Wh )ight he have a hard ti)e ending this paragraph7 Point and Support in a Paragraph Suppose ou and a friend are tal-ing a,out =o,s ou have had+ <ou )ight sa a,out a particular =o,* /That was the worst one I ever had+ A lot of hard wor- and not )uch )one +0 For our friend* that )ight ,e enough to )a-e our point* and ou would not reall have to e.plain our state)ent+ But in writing* our point would have to ,e ,ac-ed up with specific reasons and details+ Below is a paragraph* written , a student na)ed &ene (ert* a,out his worst =o,+ A paragraph is a short paper of 1E# to "## words+ It usuall consists of an opening point called a topic sentence followed , a series of sentences supporting that point+ My Job in an Apple Plant Wor-ing in an apple plant was the worst =o, I ever had+ First of all* the wor- was ph sicall hard+ For ten hours a night* I too- cartons that rolled down a )etal trac- and stac-ed the) onto wooden s-ids in a tractor trailer+ Each carton contained twent 'Fve pounds of ,ottled apple =uice* and the ca)e down the trac- al)ost nonstop+ The second ,ad feature of the =o, was the pa + I was getting the )ini)u) wage at that ti)e* G8+HE an hour* plus a 5uarter e.tra for wor-ing the night shift+ I had to wor- over si.t hours a wee- to get decent ta-e'ho)e pa + Finall * I hated the wor-ing conditions+ We were li)ited to two ten')inute ,rea-s and an unpaid half hour for lunch+ %ost of ) ti)e was

spent outside on the loading doc- in near'4ero'degree te)peratures+ I was ver lonel on the =o, ,ecause I had no interests in co))on with the other truc- loaders+ I felt this isolation especiall when the production line shut down for the night* and I spent two hours , ) self cleaning the apple vats+ The vats were an ugl place to ,e on a cold )orning* and the =o, was a ,itter one to have+ Cotice what the details in this paragraph do+ The provide ou* the reader* with a ,asis for understanding why the writer )a-es the point that is )ade+ Through this specific evidence* the writer has e.plained and successfull co))unicated the idea that this =o, was his worst one+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ The evidence that supports the point in a paragraph often consists of a series of reasons followed , e.a)ples and details that support the reasons+ That is true of the paragraph a,ove6 three reasons are provided* with e.a)ples and details that ,ac- up those reasons+ Supporting evidence in a paper can also consist of anecdotes* personal e.periences* facts* studies* statistics* and the opinions of e.perts+ The paragraph on the apple plant* li-e al)ost an piece of effective writing* has two essential parts6 ?1@ a point is advanced* and ?"@ that point is then supported+ Ta-ing a )inute to outline the paragraph will help ou understand these ,asic parts clearl + Add the words needed to co)plete the outline+ Point6 Wor-ing in an apple plant is the worst =o, I ever had+ Reason 16 1 " a+ ,+ 2oaded cartons onto s-ids for ten hours a night Reason "6 1 " a+ ,+ (ad to wor- si.t hours for decent ta-e'ho)e pa

Reason 86 1 " a+ Two ten')inute ,rea-s and an unpaid lunch ,+ 1 c+ 2oneliness on =o, " ?1@ Co interests in co))on with other wor-ers 8 ?"@ B ) self for two hours cleaning the apple vats

See if ou can co)plete the state)ents ,elow+

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An i)portant difference ,etween writing and tal-ing is that in writing we a,solutel )ust an state)ent we )a-e+ A is )ade up of a point and a collection of specifics that support the point+

An e.cellent wa to get a feel for the paragraph is to write one+ <our instructor )a asou to do that now+ The onl guidelines ou need to follow are the ones descri,ed here+ There is an advantage to writing a paragraph right awa * at a point where ou have had al)ost no instruction+ This first paragraph will give a 5uic- sense of our needs as a writer and will provide a ,aselineIa standard of co)parison that ou and our instructor can use to )easure our writing progress during the se)ester+ (ere* then* is our topic6 Write a paragraph on the ,est or worst =o, ou have ever had+ Provide three reasons wh our =o, was the ,est or the worst* and give plent of details to develop each of our three reasons+ Cotice that the sa)ple paragraph* /% Jo, in an Apple Plant*0 has the sa)e for)at our paragraph should have+ <ou should do what this author has done6 A A A A State a point in the fi rst sentence+ &ive three reasons to support the point+ Introduce each reason clearl with signal words ?such as %irst of all, #econd, and %inally@+ Provide details that develop each of the three reasons+ Write our paragraph on a separate sheet of paper+ After co)pleting the paragraph* hand it in to our instructor+ BeneFts of Paragraph Writing Paragraph writing offers at least three ,enefits+ First of all* )astering the structure of the paragraph will help )a-e ou a ,etter writer+ For other courses* ou1ll often do writing that will ,e variations on the paragraph for)Ifor e.a)ple* e.a) answers* su))aries* response papers* and ,rief reports+ In addition* paragraphs serve as the ,asic ,uilding ,loc-s of essa s* the )ost co))on for) of writing in college+ The ,asic structure of the traditional paragraph* with its e)phasis on a clear point and well' organi4ed* logical support* will help ou write effective essa s and al)ost ever -ind of paper that ou will have to do+ Second* the discipline of writing a paragraph will strengthen our s-ills as a reader and listener+ <ou1ll ,eco)e )ore criticall aware of other writers1 and spea-ers1 ideas and the evidence the provideIor fail to provideIto support those ideas+ %ost i)portant* paragraph writing will )a-e ou a stronger thin-er+ Writing a solidl reasoned paragraph re5uires )ental discipline and close attention to a set of logical rules+ Creating a paragraph in which there is an overall topic sentence supported , well'reasoned* convincing evidence is

)ore challenging than writing a free'for) or e.pressive paper+ Such a paragraph o,liges ou to carefull sort out* thin- through* and organi4e our ideas+ <ou1ll learn to discover and e.press =ust what our ideas are and to develop those ideas in a sound and logical wa + Traditional paragraph writing* in short* will train our )ind to thin- clearl * and that a,ilit will prove to ,e of value in ever phase of our life+ Writing as a S-ill Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ A sure wa to wrec- our chances of learning how to write co)petentl is to ,elieve that writing is a /natural gift0 rather than a learned s-ill+ People with such an attitude thinthat the are the onl ones for who) writing is un,eara,l difficult+ The feel that ever one else finds writing eas or at least tolera,le+ Such people t picall sa * /I1) not an good at writing0 or /English was not one of ) good su,=ects+0 The i)pl that the si)pl do not have a talent for writing* while others do+ The result of this attitude is that people tr to avoid writing* and when the do write* the don1t tr their ,est+ Their attitude ,eco)es a self'fulfi lling prophec 6 Their writing fails chiefl ,ecause the have ,rainwashed the)selves into thin-ing that the don1t have the /natural talent0 needed to write+ ;nless their attitude changes* the pro,a,l will not learn how to write effectivel + A realistic attitude a,out writing )ust ,uild on the idea that writing is a skill. It is a s-ill li-e driving* t ping* or coo-ing* and li-e an s-ill* it can ,e learned+ If ou have the deter)ination to learn* this ,oo- will give ou the e.tensive practice needed to develop our writing s-ills+ %an people find it difficult to do the intense* active thin-ing that clear writing de)ands+ ?Perhaps television has )ade us all so passive that the active thin-ing necessar in ,oth writing and reading now see)s harder than ever+@ It is frightening to sit down ,efore a ,lan- sheet of paper or a co)puter screen and -now that an hour later* nothing on it )a ,e worth -eeping+ It is frustrating to discover how )uch of a challenge it is to transfer thoughts and feelings fro) one1s head into words+ It is upsetting to find that an apparentl si)ple writing su,=ect often turns out to ,e co)plicated+ But writing is not an auto)atic process6 we will not get so)ething for nothingIand we should not e.pect to+ For al)ost ever one* co)petent writing co)es fro) plain hard wor-Ifro) deter)ination* sweat* and head'on ,attle+ The good news is that the s-ill of writing can ,e )astered* and if ou are read to wor-* ou will learn what ou need to -now+ To get a sense of =ust how ou regard writing* read the following state)ents+ Put a chec?@ ,eside those state)ents with which ou agree+ This activit is not a test* so tr to ,e as honest as possi,le+ 1 " 8 : E A good writer should ,e a,le to sit down and write a paper straight through without stopping+ Writing is a s-ill that an one can learn with practice+ I1ll never ,e good at writing ,ecause I )a-e too )an )ista-es in spelling* gra))ar* and punctuation+ Because I disli-e writing* I alwa s start a paper at the last possi,le )inute+ I1ve alwa s done poorl in English* and I don1t e.pect that to change+

Cow read the following co))ents a,out the fi ve state)ents+ The co))ents will help ou see if our attitude is hurting or helping our efforts to ,eco)e a ,etter writer+ Comments A State)ent 16 &' good writer should be able to sit down and write a paper straight through without stopping.( State)ent 1 is not true+ Writing is* in fact* a process+ It is done not in one eas step ,ut in a series of steps* and seldo) at one sitting+ If ou cannot do a paper all at once* that si)pl )eans ou are li-e )ost of the other people on the planet+ It is har)ful to carr around the false idea that writing should ,e eas + A State)ent "6 &)riting is a skill that anyone can learn with practice.( State)ent " is a,solutel true+ Writing is a s-ill* li-e driving or word processing* that ou can )aster with hard wor-+ If ou want to learn to write* ou can+ It is as si)ple as that+ If ou ,elieve this* ou are read to learn how to ,eco)e a co)petent writer+ So)e people hold the false ,elief that writing is a natural gift* which so)e have and others do not+ Because of this ,elief* the never )a-e a trul honest effort to learn to writeIand so the never learn+ A State)ent 86 &I ll never be good at writing because I make too many mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.( The first concern in good writing should ,e contentIwhat ou have to sa + <our ideas and feelings are what )atter )ost+ <ou should not worr a,out spelling* gra))ar* or punctuation while wor-ing on content+ ;nfortunatel * so)e people are so self'conscious a,out )a-ing )ista-es that the do not focus on what the want to sa + The need to reali4e that a paper is ,est done in stages* and that appl ing the rules can and should wait until a later stage in the writing process+ Through review and practice* ou will eventuall learn how to follow the rules with confi dence+ A State)ent :6 &*ecause I dislike writing, I always start a paper at the last possible minute.( This ha,it is all too co))on+ <ou feel ou are going to do poorl * and then ,ehave in a wa that ensures ou will do poorl B <our attitude is so negative that ou defeat ourselfInot even allowing enough ti)e to reall tr +

Again* what ou need to reali4e is that writing is a process+ Because it is done in steps* ou don1t have to get it right all at once+ If ou allow ourself enough ti)e* ou1ll find a wa to )a-e a paper co)e together+ State)ent E6 &I ve always done poorly in "nglish, and I don t e+pect that to change.( Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ (ow ou )a have perfor)ed in the past does not control how ou can perfor) in the present. Even if ou did poorl in English in high school* it is in our power to )a-e English one of our ,est su,=ects in college+ If ou ,elieve writing can ,e learned and then wor- hard at it* ou will ,eco)e a ,etter writer+ A In conclusion* our attitude is crucial+ If ou ,elieve ou are a poor writer and alwa s will ,e* chances are ou will not i)prove+ If ou reali4e ou can ,eco)e a ,etter writer* chances are ou will i)prove+ 3epending on how ou allow ourself to thin-* ou can ,e our own ,est friend or our own worst ene) + Writing as a Process of 3iscover In addition to ,elieving that writing is a natural gift* )an people ,elieve* )ista-enl * that writing should flow in a si)ple* straight line fro) the writer1s head onto the page+ But writing is seldo) an eas * one'step =ourne in which a fi nished paper co)es out in a first draft+ The truth is that writing is a process of discovery which involves a series of steps* and those steps are ver often a 4ig4ag =ourne + 2oo- at the following illustrations of the writing process6 Seldom the Case Starting point Usually the Case Starting point Ker often* writers do not discover =ust what the want to write a,out until the e.plore their thoughts in writing+ For e.a)ple* &ene (ert had ,een as-ed to write a,out a ,est or worst =o,+ 9nl after he did so)e freewriting on good and ,ad =o,s did he reali4e that the )ost interesting details centered on his =o, at an apple plant+ (e discovered his su,=ect in the course of writing+ Another student* Rhonda* tal-ing afterward a,out a paper she wrote* e.plained that at first her topic was how she rela.ed with her children+ But as she accu)ulated details* she reali4ed after a page of writing that the words rela+ and children si)pl did not go together+ (er details were reall e.a)ples of how she enjoyed her children* not how she

rela+ed with the)+ She sensed that the real focus of her writing should ,e what she did , herself to rela.* and then she thought suddenl that the ,est ti)e of her wee- was Thursda after school+ /A light clic-ed on in ) head*0 she e.plained+ /I -new I had ) paper+0 Then it was a )atter of detailing e.actl what she did to rela. on Thursda evenings+ (er paper* /(ow I Rela.*0 is on page $:+ The point is that writing is often a process of continuing discover + As ou write* ou )a suddenl switch direction or dou,le ,ac-+ <ou )a ,e wor-ing on a topic sentence and reali4e suddenl that it could ,e our concluding thought+ 9r ou )a ,e developing a supporting idea and then decide that it should ,e the )ain point of our paper+ Chapter " will treat the writing process directl + What is i)portant to re)e),er here is that writers fre5uentl do not -now their e.act destination as the ,egin to write+ Ker often the discover the direction and shape of a paper during the process of writing+ Leeping a Journal Because writing is a s-ill* it )a-es sense that the )ore ou practice writing* the ,etter ou will write+ 9ne e.cellent wa to get practice in writing* even ,efore ou ,egin co)posing for)al paragraphs* is to -eep a dail or al)ost dail =ournal+ Writing a =ournal will help ou develop the ha,it of thin-ing on paper and will show ou how ideas can ,e discovered in the process of writing+ A =ournal can )a-e writing a fa)iliar part of our life and can serve as a continuing source of ideas for papers+ At so)e point during the da Iperhaps during a stud period after our last class of the da * or right ,efore dinner* or right ,efore going to ,edI spend fi fteen )inutes or so writing in our =ournal+ Leep in )ind that ou do not have to plan what to write a,out* or ,e in the )ood to write* or worr a,out )a-ing )ista-es as ou write> =ust write down whatever words co)e out+ <ou should write at least one page in each session+ <ou )a want to use a note,oo- that ou can easil carr with ou for on'thespot writing+ 9r ou )a decide to write on loose'leaf paper that can ,e transferred later to a =ournal folder on our des-+ %an students choose to -eep electronic =ournals on their co)puters or online through live=ournal+co) or a si)ilar We, site+ Co )atter how ou proceed* ,e sure to date all entries+ <our instructor )a as- ou to )a-e =ournal entries a specifi c nu),er of ti)es a wee-* for a specifi c nu),er of wee-s+ (e or she )a have ou turn in our =ournal ever so often for review and feed,ac-+ If ou are -eeping the =ournal on our own* tr to )a-e entries three to five ti)es a wee- ever wee- of the se)ester+ <our =ournal can serve as a source,oo- of ideas for possi,le

papers+ %ore i)portant* -eeping a =ournal will help ou develop the ha,it of thin-ing on paper* and it can help ou )a-e writing a fa)iliar part of our life+ Following is an e.cerpt fro) one student1s =ournal+ ?Sentence's-ills )ista-es have ,een corrected to i)prove reada,ilit +@ As ou read* loo- for a general point and supporting )aterial that could ,e the ,asis for an interesting paper+ A If the writer of this =ournal is loo-ing for an idea for a paper* he can pro,a,l find several in this single entr + For e.a)ple* he )ight write a narrative support ing the point that /In ) sales =o, I have to deal with so)e irritating custo)ers+0 See if ou can find another idea in this entr that )ight ,e the ,asis for an interesting paragraph+ Write our point in the space ,elow+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ A Ta-e fifteen )inutes to prepare a =ournal entr right now on this da in our life+ 9n a separate sheet of paper* =ust start writing a,out an thing that ou have said* heard* thought* or felt* and let our thoughts ta-e ou where the )a + ;sing This Te.t (ere is a suggested se5uence for using this ,oo- if ou are wor-ing on our own+ 1 After co)pleting this introduction* read the re)aining five chapters in Part 9ne and wor- through as )an of the activities as ou need to )aster the ideas in these chapters+ B the end of Part 9ne* ou will have covered all the ,asic theor needed to write effective papers+ Turn to Part Five and ta-e the diagnostic test+ The test will help ou deter)ine what sentence s-ills ou need to review+ Stud those s-ills one or two at a ti)e while ou continue to wor- on other parts of the ,oo-+ These s-ills will help ou write effective* error'free sentences+ What ou do ne.t depends on course re5uire)ents* individual needs* or ,oth+ <ou will want to practice at least several different -inds of paragraph develop)ent in Part Two+ If our ti)e is li)ited* ,e sure to include /E.e)plification*0 /Process*0 /Co)parison or Contrast*0 and /Argu)ent+0 After ou develop s-ill in writing effective paragraphs* go on to practice writing one or )ore of the several'paragraph essa s descri,ed in Part Three+ Turn to Part Four as needed for help with pro=ects that involve research+ If ou are using the alternate version of this ,oo-I"nglish #kills with ,eadingsIread at least one of the seventeen selections in Part Si. ever wee-* alwa s ,eing sure to wor- through the two sets of 5uestions that follow each reading+ Re)e),er that* for our convenience* the ,oo- includes the following6 A A 9n the inside ,ac- cover* there is a chec-list of the four ,asic steps in effective writing+ 9n page H"1* there is a list of co))onl used correction s ),ols+

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&et into the ha,it of referring to these guides on a regular ,asis> the 1ll help ou produce clearl thought'out* well'written papers+ "nglish #kills will help ou learn* practice* and appl the thin-ing and writing s-ills ou need to co))unicate effectivel + But the starting point )ust ,e our deter)ination to do the wor- needed to ,eco)e a strong writer+ The a,ilit to e.press ourself clearl and logicall can open doors of opportunit for ou* ,oth in school and in our career+ If ou decideIand only you can decideIthat ou want such language power* this ,oo- will help ou reach that goal+ The Writing Process " -etting started is often the hardest part of writing. .ou may have looked and felt like the student pictured above many times when working on a writing assignment. )hat could this student do to help get ideas /owing? 's you will learn in this chapter, using various prewriting techni0ues can help make the writing process a lot easier. www+)hhe+co)Dlangan Chapter 1 introduced ou to the paragraph for) and so)e ,asics of writing+ This chapter will e.plain and illustrate the se5uence of steps in writing an effective paragraph+ In particular* the chapter will focus on prewriting and revisingI strategies that can help with ever paragraph that ou write+ For )an people* writing is a process that involves the following steps6 1 " 8 : Discovering a pointoften through prewriting. Developing solid support for the pointoften through more prewriting. Organizing the supporting material and writing it out in a rst draft. Revising and then editing carefully to ensure an effective, error-free paper.

2earning this se5uence will help give ou confidence when the ti)e co)es to write+ <ou1ll -now that ou can use prewriting as a wa to thin- on paper ?or at the -e ,oard@ and to discover graduall =ust what ideas ou want to develop+ <ou1ll understand that there are four clear'cut goals to ai) for in our writingIunit * support* organi4ation* and error'free sentences+ <ou1ll reali4e that ou can use revising to rewor- a paragraph until it is strong and effective+ And ou1ll ,e a,le to edit a paragraph so that our sentences are clear and error'free+ Prewriting If ou are li-e )an people* ou )a have trou,le getting started writing+ A )ental ,loc)a develop when ou sit down ,efore a ,lan- sheet of paper or a ,lan- screen+ <ou )a not ,e a,le to thin- of an interesting topic or a point to )a-e a,out our topic+ 9r ou

)a have trou,le co)ing up with specific details to support our point+ And even after starting a paragraph* ou )a hit snagsI)o)ents when ou wonder /What else can I sa 70 or /Where do I go ne.t70 The following pages descri,e five techni5ues that will help ou thin- a,out and develop a topic and get words on paper6 ?1@ freewriting* ?"@ 5uestioning* ?8@ )a-ing a list* ?:@ clustering* and ?E@ preparing a scratch outline+ These prewriting techni5ues help ou thin- a,out and create )aterial* and the are a central part of the writing process+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Techni5ue 16 Freewriting When ou do not -now what to write a,out a su,=ect or when ou are ,loc-ed in writing* freewriting so)eti)es helps+ In freewriting, ou write on our topic for ten )inutes+ <ou do not worr a,out spelling or punctuating correctl * a,out erasing )ista-es* a,out organi4ing )aterial* or a,out finding e.act words+ <ou =ust write without stopping+ If ou get stuc- for words* ou write /I a) loo-ing for so)ething to sa 0 or repeat words until so)ething co)es+ There is no need to feel inhi,ited* since )ista-es do not count and ou do not have to hand in our paper+ Freewriting will li),er up our writing )uscles and )a-e ou fa)iliar with the act of writing+ It is a wa to ,rea- through )ental ,loc-s a,out writing+ Since ou do not have to worr a,out )ista-es* ou can focus on discovering what ou want to sa a,out a su,=ect+ <our initial ideas and i)pressions will often ,eco)e clearer after ou have gotten the) down on paper* and the )a lead to other i)pressions and ideas+ Through continued practice in freewriting* ou will develop the ha,it of thin-ing as ou write+ And ou will learn a techni5ue that is a helpful wa to get started on al)ost an paragraph+ %reewriting1 ' #tudent 2odel &ene (ert1s paragraph /% Jo, in an Apple Plant0 on page $ was written in response to an assign)ent to write a paragraph on the ,est or worst =o, he ever had+ &ene ,egan , doing so)e general freewriting and thin-ing a,out his =o,s+ (ere is his freewriting6 www+)hhe+co)Dlangan At this point* &ene read over his notes* and as he later co))ented* /I reali4ed that I had several potential topics+ I said to ) self* MWhat point can I )a-e that I can cover in a paragraph7 What do I have the )ost infor)ation a,out71 I decided to narrow ) topic down to ) awful =o, at the apple plant+ I figured I would have lots of interesting details for that topic+0 &ene then did a )ore focused freewriting to accu)ulate details for a paragraph on his ,ad =o,6 The =o, I re)e),er )ost is the worst =o, I ever had+ I wor-ed in an apple plant* I put in ver long hours and would ,e total ,eat after ten hours of wor-+ All the ti)e lifting cartons of apple =uice which would co)e racing down a )etal trac-+ The gu with )e was a ,it la4 at ti)es* and I would ,e one )an doing a two')an =o,+ The cartons would go into a tracter trailer* we would have

to throw down wooden s-ids to put the cartons on* then wed have to )ove the )etal trac- as we Flled up the truc-+ There is no other =o, I have had that even co)pares to this =o,* it was a lot worse than it see)s+ The ,osses treated us li-e slaves and the co)pan paid us li-e slaves+ I would wor- all night fro) N P+%+ and drive ho)e in the )orning at E A+%+ and ,e ,one tired+ I re)e),er ) ar)s and sholders were so tired after the Frst night+ I had trou,le turning the steering wheel of ) father1s car+ Cotice that there are pro,le)s with spelling* gra))ar* and punctuation in &ene1s freewriting+ &ene was not worried a,out such )atters* nor should he have ,een+ At this stage* he =ust wanted to do so)e thin-ing on paper and get so)e )aterial down on the page+ (e -new that this was a good first step* a good wa of getting started* and that he would then ,e a,le to go on and shape that )aterial+ <ou should ta-e the sa)e approach when freewriting6 e.plore our topic without worr ing at all a,out ,eing /correct+0 Figuring out what ou want to sa and getting raw )aterial down on the page should have all of our attention at this earl stage of the writing process+ To get a sense of the freewriting process* ta-e a sheet of paper and freewrite a,out different =o,s ou have had and what ou li-ed or did not li-e a,out the)+ See how )uch )aterial ou can accu)ulate in ten )inutes+ And re)e),er not to worr a,out /)ista-es0> ou1re =ust thin-ing on paper+

Techni5ue "6 Ouestioning In 0uestioning, ou generate ideas and details , as-ing as )an 5uestions as ou can thin- of a,out our su,=ect+ Such 5uestions include )hy? )hen? )here? )ho? How? In what ways? (ere are 5uestions that &ene (ert as-ed while further developing his paragraph6 3uestioning1 ' #tudent 2odel

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ In what wa s were ;nheated truc- in 4ero'degree weather+ wor-ing conditions ,ad7 Floor of tractor trailer was cold steel+ Brea-s were li)itedI onl two of the)+ 2onel =o,+

As-ing 5uestions can ,e an effective wa of getting ourself to thin- a,out a topic fro) different angles+ The 5uestions can help ou generate details a,out a topic and get ideas on how to organi4e those details+ Cotice how as-ing 5uestions gives &ene a ,etter sense of the different reasons wh he hated the =o,+ To get a feel for the 5uestioning process* use a sheet of paper to as- ourself a series of 5uestions a,out our ,est and worst =o,s+ See how )an details ou can accu)ulate in ten )inutes+ And re)e),er again not to ,e concerned a,out /)ista-es*0 ,ecause ou are =ust thin-ing on paper+ Techni5ue 86 %a-ing a 2ist In making a list, also -nown as brainstorming, ou create a list of ideas and details that relate to our su,=ect+ Pile these ite)s up* one after another* without tr ing to sort out )a=or details fro) )inor ones* or tr ing to put the details in an special order* or even tr ing to spell words correctl + <our goal is to accu)ulate raw )aterial , )a-ing up a list of ever thing a,out our su,=ect that occurs to ou+ After freewriting and 5uestioning* &ene )ade up the following list of details+ 2aking a !ist1 ' #tudent 2odel Apple factor =o,Iworst one I ever had Bosses were )ean Wor-ing conditions were poor Went to wor- at E P+%+* got ,ac- at N A+%+ 2ifted cartons of apple =uice for ten hours Cartons were heav 9nl two ten')inute ,rea-s a night Pa was onl G8+HE an hour www+)hhe+co)Dlangan Just 5uarter e.tra for night shift Cost of gas )one to and fro) wor- Co pa for lunch ,rea- (ad to wor- H# hours for good ta-e'ho)e pa 2oaded onto wooden s-ids in a truc- Bosses elled at so)e wor-ers Te)perature 4ero outside Floors of truc-s ice'cold )etal Constop pace (ad to clean apple vats after wor- Slept* ate* and wor-edIno social life Co real friends at wor-

9ne detail led to another as &ene e.panded his list+ Slowl ,ut surel * )ore details e)erged* so)e of which he could use in developing his paragraph+ B the ti)e he had fi nished his list* he was read to plan an outline of his paragraph and then to write his fi rst

draft+ To get a sense of )a-ing a list* use a sheet of paper to list a series of details a,out one of the ,est or worst =o,s ou ever had+ 3on1t worr a,out deciding whether the details are )a=or or )inor> instead* =ust get down as )an details as ou can thin- of in five or ten )inutes+ Techni5ue :6 Clustering Clustering, also -nown as diagramming or mapping, is another strateg that can ,e used to generate )aterial for a paragraph+ This )ethod is helpful for people who li-e to thin- in a visual wa + In clustering* ou use lines* ,o.es*
www+)hhe+co)Dlangan

arrows* and circles to show relationships a)ong the ideas and details that occur to ou+ Begin , stating our su,=ect in a few words in the center of a ,lansheet of paper+ Then* as ideas and details occur to ou* put the) in ,o.es or circles around the su,=ect and draw lines to connect the) to each other and to the su,=ect+ Put )inor ideas or details in s)aller ,o.es or circles* and use connecting lines to show how the relate as well+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Leep in )ind that there is no right or wrong wa of clustering+ It is a wa to thin- on paper a,out how various ideas and details relate to one another+ Below is an e.a)ple of what &ene )ight have done to develop his ideas6 Clustering1 ' #tudent 2odel

Poor pay

Mean bosses TIP In addition to helping generate )aterial* clustering often suggests wa s to organi4e ideas and details+

;se clustering or diagra))ing to organi4e the details a,out a ,est or worst =o, that ou created for the previous activit ?page "8@+ Techni5ue E6 Preparing a Scratch 9utline A scratch outline can ,e the single most helpful techni0ue for writing a good paragraph+ A scratch outline often follows freewriting* 5uestioning* )a-ing a list* or clustering* ,ut it )a also graduall e)erge in the )idst of these strategies+ In fact* tr ing to )a-e a scratch outline is a good wa to see if ou need to do )ore prewriting+ If ou cannot co)e up with a solid outline* then ou -now ou need to do )ore prewriting to clarif our )ain point and its several -inds of support+ In a scratch outline* ou thin- carefull a,out the point ou are )a-ing* the supporting ite)s for that point* and the order in which ou will arrange those ite)s+ The scratch outline is a plan or ,lueprint to help ou achieve a unifi ed* supported* and well' organi4ed paragraph+ www+)hhe+co)Dlangan Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ #cratch 4utline1 ' #tudent 2odel In &ene1s case* as he was wor-ing on his list of details* he suddenl reali4ed what the plan of his paragraph could ,e+ (e could organi4e )an of his details into one of three supporting groups6 ?1@ the =o, itself* ?"@ the pa * and ?8@ the wor-ing conditions+ (e then went ,ac- to the list* crossed out ite)s that he now saw did not fit* and nu),ered the ite)s according to the group where the fit+ (ere is what &ene did with his list6 ;nder the list* &ene was now a,le to prepare his scratch outline6 After all his prewriting* &ene was pleased+ (e -new that he had a pro)ising paragraphIone with a clear point and solid support+ (e saw that he could organi4e the )aterial into a paragraph with a topic sentence* supporting points* and vivid details+ (e was now read to write the first draft of his paragraph* using his outline as a guide+ TIP Chances are that if ou do enough prewriting and thin-ing on paper* ou will eventuall discover the point and support of our paragraph+

Create a scratch outline that could serve as a guide if ou were to write a paragraph on our ,est or worst =o, e.perience+ Writing a First 3raft When ou write a first draft* ,e prepared to put in additional thoughts and details that did not e)erge during prewriting+ And don1t worr if ou hit a snag+ Just leave a ,lan- space

or add a co))ent such as /3o later0 and press on to fi nish the paper+ Also* don1t worr et a,out gra))ar* punctuation* or spelling+ <ou don1t want to ta-e ti)e correcting words or sentences that ou )a decide to re)ove later+ Instead* )a-e it our goal to state our )ain idea clearl and develop the content of our paragraph with plent of specifi c details+ Writing a First 3raft6 A Student %odel (ere is &ene1s first draft* done in longhand6 The apple plant =o, was ) worst+ Wor-ing in an apple plant was the worst =o, I ever had+ The wor- was ph sical hard+ For a long ti)e ten hours a night* I stac-ed cartons that rolled down a )etal trac- in Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ a tracter trailer+ Each carton had cans or ,ottles of apple =uice* and the were heav + At the sa)e ti)e* I had to -eep a )ental count of all the cartons I had loaded+ The pa for the =o, was a ,ad feature+ I was getting the )ina)u) wage at that ti)e plus a 5uarter e.tra for night shift+ I had to wor- a lot to get a decent ta-e'ho)e pa + Wor-ing conditions were poor at the apple plant* we were li)ited to short ,rea-s two ten')inute ,rea-s+ The truc-'loading doc- where I was )ost of the ti)e was a cold and lonel place+ Then , ) self cleaning up+ 3ETAI2SB TIP After &ene finished the first draft* he was a,le to put it aside until the ne.t da + <ou will ,enefit as well if ou can allow so)e ti)e ,etween fi nishing a draft and starting to revise+ See if ou can fill in the )issing words in the following e.planation of &ene1s fi rst draft+ 1 &ene presents his in the first sentence and then crosses it out and revises it right awa to )a-e it read s)oothl and clearl + 1+ "+ Cotice that he continues to accu)ulate specific supporting details as he writes the draft+ For e.a)ple* he crosses out and replaces /a long ti)e0 "+ with the )ore specific > he crosses out and replaces /short ,rea-s0 with the )ore specific + There are various )isspellingsIfor e.a)ple* + &ene doesn1t worr a,out spelling at this point+ (e =ust wants to get down as )uch of the su,stance of his paragraph as possi,le+ There are various punctuation errors* especiall the run'on and the frag)ent near the ?beginning, middle, end@ of the paragraph+

" 8

Cear the close of his paragraph* &ene can1t thin- of added details to insert* so

he si)pl prints / 0 as a re)inder to hi)self for the ne.t draft+ www+)hhe+co)Dlangan Revising Revising is as )uch a stage in the writing process as prewriting* outlining* and doing the fi rst draft+ ,evising )eans that ou rewrite a paragraph* ,uilding upon what has alread ,een done* in order to )a-e it stronger+ 9ne writer has said a,out revision* /It1s li-e cleaning houseIgetting rid of all the =un- and putting things in the right order+0 It is not =ust /straightening up0> instead* ou )ust ,e read to roll up our sleeves and do whatever is needed to create an effective paragraph+ Too )an students thin- that a fi rst draft is the paragraph+ The start to ,eco)e writers when the reali4e that revising a rough draft three or four ti)es is often at the heart of the writing process+ (ere are so)e 5uic- tips that can help )a-e revision easier+ First* set our fi rst draft aside for a while+ <ou can then co)e ,ac- to it with a fresher* )ore o,=ective point of view+ Second* wor- fro) t ped or printed te.t* prefera,l dou,le'spaced so ou1ll have roo) to handwrite changes later+ <ou1ll ,e a,le to see the paragraph )ore i)partiall if it is t ped than if ou were =ust loo-ing at our own fa)iliar handwriting+ Ce.t* read our draft aloud+ (earing how our writing sounds will help ou pic- up pro,le)s with )eaning as well as with st le+ Finall * as ou do all these things* write additional thoughts and changes a,ove the lines or in the )argins of our paragraph+ <our written co))ents can serve as a guide when ou wor- on the ne.t draft+ There are two stages to the revision process6 A A Revising content Revising sentences

,evising Content To revise the content of our paragraph* as- the following 5uestions6 1. Is my paragraph uni ed? A A Do I have a main idea that is clearly stated at the beginning of my paragraph? Do all my supporting points truly support and back up my main idea?

2. Is my paragraph supported? A A A Are there separate supporting points for the main idea? Do I have speci c evidence for each supporting point? Is there plenty of specic evidence for the supporting points?

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+

The ne.t two chapters ?Chapters 8 and :@ will give ou practice in achieving unity, support, and organization in our writing+ ,evising #entences To revise individual sentences in our paragraph* as- the following 5uestions6 Chapter E will give ou practice in revising sentences+ Revising6 A Student %odel For his second draft* &ene used a word'processing progra) on a co)puter+ (e then printed out a dou,le'spaced version of his paragraph* leaving hi)self plent of roo) for handwritten revisions+ (ere is &ene1s second draft plus the handwritten changes and additions that ,eca)e his third draft6 Gene made his changes in longhand as he worked on the second draft. As you will see when you complete the activity below, his revision serves to make the paragraph more unied, supported, and organized. Fill in the )issing words+ 1 To clarif the organi4ation* &ene adds at the ,eginning of the first supporting point the transitional phrase / *0 and he sets off the third supporting point with the word / +0 " In the interest of ?unity, support, organi5ation@ * he crosses out the sentence / +0 (e reali4es that this sentence is not a relevant detail to support the idea that the wor- was ph sicall hard+ 8 To add )ore ?unity, support, organi5ation@ * he changes /a lot of hours0 to / 0> he changes /on the doc-0 to / 0> he changes /cold te)peratures0 to / +0 : In the interest of eli)inating wordiness* he re)oves the words / 0 fro) the si.th sentence+ E To achieve parallelis)* &ene changes /the half hour for lunch was not paid0 to/ +0 Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 1 For greater sentence variet * &ene co),ines two short sentences* ,eginning the second part of the sentence with the su,ordinating word / +0 " To create a consistent point of view* &ene changes /<ou felt this isolation0 to / +0 8 Finall * &ene replaces the so)ewhat vague /,ad0 in /The vats were a ,ad place to ,e on a cold )orning* and the =o, was a ,ad one to have0 with two )ore precise words6 / 0 and / +0 Editing The last )a=or stage in the writing process is editingIchec-ing a paragraph for )ista-es in gra))ar* punctuation* usage* and spelling+ Editing as well as proofreading ?chec-ing a

paragraph for t pos and other careless errors@ is e.plained in www+)hhe+co)Dlangan detail on pages 1""P1"8+ Editing6 A Student %odel After t ping into his word'processing fi le all the revisions in his paragraph* &ene printed out another clean draft of the paragraph+ (e now turned his attention to editing changes* as shown ,elow6 My Job in an Apple Plant Wor-ing in an apple plant was the worst =o, I ever had+ First of all the physically , ^ tractor down a )etal trac- and stac-ed the) onto wooden s-ids in a tracter trailer+ twenty- ve Each carton contained "E pounds of ,ottled apple =uice* and the ca)e down the tracal)ost nonstop+ The second ,ad feature of the =o, was the minimum ,p

wor- was ph sical hard+ For ten hours a night* I too- cartons that rolled

pa + I was getting the )ina)u) wage at that ti)e* G8+HE an hour+ Plus =ust / a 5uarter e.tra for wor-ing the night shift+ I had to wor- over si.t hours a wee- to get a decent ta-e'ho)e pa + Finall I hated the wor-ing conditions+ ,^ We were li)ited to two ten')inute ,rea-s and an unpaid half hour for lunch+ %ost of ) ti)e was spent outside on the loading doc- in near'4ero'degree www+)hhe+co)Dlangan 9nce again* &ene )ade his changes in longhand right on the printout of his paragraph+ To note these changes* co)plete the activit ,elow+

Fill in the )issing words+ 1 " 8 : E As part of his editing* &ene chec-ed and corrected the of three words* physically, tractor, and minimum. (e added to set off an introductor phrase ?/First of all0@ and an introductor word ?/Finall 0@ and also to connect the two co)plete thoughts in the final sentence+ (e corrected a frag)ent ?/ 0@ , using a co))a to attach it to the preceding sentence+ (e reali4ed that a nu),er li-e /"E0 should ,e as /twent 'five+0 And since revision can occur at an stage of the writing process* including editing* &ene )a-es one of his details )ore vivid , adding the descriptive words / +0

All that re)ained for &ene to do was to enter his corrections* print out the fi nal draft of the paragraph* and proofread it for an t pos or other careless errors+ (e was then read to hand it in to his instructor+ Review Activities <ou now have a good overview of the writing process* fro) prewriting to fi rst draft to revising to editing+ The re)aining chapters in Part 9ne will deepen our sense of the four goals of effective writing6 unit * support* organi4ation or coherence* and sentence s-ills+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ To reinforce )uch of the infor)ation a,out the writing process that ou have learned in this chapter* ou can now wor- through the following activities6 1 " 8 : Ta-ing a writing inventor Prewriting 9utlining Revising

1 Ta-ing a Writing Inventor To evaluate our approach to the writing process* answer the 5uestions ,elow+ This activit is not a test* so tr to ,e as honest as possi,le+ Beco)ing aware of our writing ha,its can help ou )a-e helpful changes in our writing+ 1 When ou start wor- on a paper* do ou t picall do an prewriting7 <es So)eti)es Co " If so* which of the prewriting techni5ues do ou use7 Freewriting Clustering Ouestioning Scratch outline 2ist )a-ing 9ther ?please descri,e@ Which prewriting techni5ue or techni5ues wor- ,est for ou or do ou thin-

will wor- ,est for ou7 : %an students have said the find it helpful to handwrite a first draft and then t pe that draft on a co)puter+ The then print the draft out and revise it , hand+ 3escri,e our own wa of drafting and revising a paper+ After ou write the first draft of a paper* do ou have ti)e to set it aside for a while so that ou can co)e ,ac- to it with a fresh e e7 (ow )an drafts do ou t picall write when doing a paper7 When ou revise* are ou aware that ou should ,e wor-ing toward a paper that is unified* solidl supported* and clearl organi4ed7 (as this chapter given ou a ,etter sense that unit * support* and organi4ation are goals to ai) for7 3o ou revise a paper for the effectiveness of its sentences as well as for its content7 What ?if an @ infor)ation has this chapter given ou a,out prewriting that ou will tr to appl in our writing7 What ?if an @ infor)ation has this chapter given ou a,out revising that ou will tr to appl in our writing7

E H 1 " 8 :

" Prewriting Below are e.a)ples of how the five prewriting techni5ues could ,e used to develop the topic /Inconsiderate 3rivers+0 Identif each techni5ue , writing F ?for free'writing@* O ?for 5uestioning@* 2 ?for listing@* C ?for clustering@* or S9 ?for the scratch outline@ in the answer space+ (igh ,ea)s on Weave in and out at high speeds Treat street li-e a trash can 9pen car door onto street without loo-ing Stop on street loo-ing for an address 3on1t use turn signals (igh speeds in low'speed 4ones 3on1t ta-e turns )erging ;se horn when the don1t need to 3on1t give wal-ers the right of wa %ore attention to cell phone than the road
What is one e.a)ple of an inconsiderate driver7 Where does this happen7 A person who turns suddenl without signaling+ At cit intersections or on s)aller countr roads+ <ou have to ,e alert and slow down ourself to avoid rear'ending the car in front+ 3rivers who co)e toward ou at night with their high ,ea)s on+

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+

Wh is this dangerous7 What is another e.a)ple of inconsideration on the road7

So)e people are inconsiderate drivers+ 1+ In cit 6 1 a+ Stop in )iddle of street " ,+ Turn without signaling

"+ 9n highwa 6 1 a+ 2eave high ,ea)s on " ,+ Sta in passing lane 8 c+ Cheat during a )erge 8+ Both in cit and on highwa 6 1 a+ Throw trash out of window " ,+ Pa )ore attention to cell phone than to road to cell phonethan to road
www+)hhe+co)Dlangan

I was driving ho)e last night after class and had three people tr to ,lind )e , co)ing at )e with their high ,ea)s on+ I had to 4ap the) all with ) high ,ea)s+ Rude drivers )a-e )e cra4 + The worst are the ones that use the road as a trash can+ People who throw ,utts and cups and ha),urger wrappings and other stuff out the car windows should ,e tossed into a trash du)pster+ If word got around that this was the punish)ent )a ,e the would wise up+ 9ther drivers do du), things as well+ I hate the person who will =ust stop in the )iddle of the street and tr to figure out directions or loo- for a house address+ Wh don1t the pull over to the side of the street7 That hardl see)s li-e too )uch to as-+ Instead* the stop all traffic while doing their own thing+ Then there are the people who -eep what the want to do a secret+ The 1re not going to tell ou the plan to )a-e a right' or left'hand turn+ <ou1ve got to fi gure it out ourself when the suddenl slow down in front of ou+ Then there are all the people on their cell phones a--ing awa and not pa ing attention to their driving+

8 9utlining
As alread )entioned ?see page ":@* outlining is central to writing a good paragraph+ An outline lets ou see* and wor- on* the ,are ,ones of a paragraph* without the distraction of cluttered words and sentences+ It develops our a,ilit to thin- clearl and logicall + 9utlining provides a 5uic- chec- on whether our paragraph will ,e unifi ed+ It also suggests right at the start whether our paragraph will ,e ade5uatel supported. And it shows ou how to plan a paragraph that is well organi5ed. The following series of e.ercises will help ou develop the outlining s-ills so i)portant to planning and writing a solid paragraph+ 9ne -e to effective outlining is the a,ilit to distinguish ,etween general ideas and specific details that fit under those ideas+ Read each group of specifi c ideas ,elow+ Then circle the letter of the general idea that tells what the specifi c ideas have in co))on+ Cote that the general idea should not ,e too ,road or too narrow+ Begin , tr ing the e.a)ple ite)* and then read the e.planation that follows+
!AMP"

#pecifi c ideas1 runn nose* coughing* snee4ing* sore throat The general idea is6

a+ cold s )pto)s+

,+ s )pto)s+ c+ throat pro,le)s+

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ !P"A#ATI$# It is true that the specific ideas are all s )pto)s* ,ut the have in co))on so)ething even )ore specificIthe are all s )pto)s of the co))on cold+ Therefore* answer b is too ,road> the correct answer is a+ Answer c is too narrow ,ecause it doesn1t cover all the specific ideas> it covers onl the final ite) in the list ?/sore throat0@+ 1+ #pecific ideas1 lea-ing toilet* no hot water* ,ro-en window* roaches The general idea is6 1 a+ pro,le)s+ " ,+ -itchen pro,le)s+ 8 c+ apart)ent pro,le)s+ "+ #pecifi c ideas1 count to ten* ta-e a deep ,reath* go for a wal- The general idea is6 1 a+ actions+ " ,+ wa s to cal) down+ 8 c+ wa s to cal) down =ust ,efore a test+ 8+ #pecific ideas1 putting stic- tape on so)eone1s chair* putting a /-ic- )e0 sign on so)eone1s ,ac-* putting hot pepper in so)eone1s cereal The general idea is6 1 a+ =o-es+ " ,+ practical =o-es+ 8 c+ practical =o-es pla ed on teachers+ :+ #pecific ideas1 going to ,ed earlier* eating healthier foods* reading for half an hour each da * tr ing to ,e -inder The general idea is6 1 a+ resolutions+ " ,+ pro,le)s+ 8 c+ solutions+ E+ #pecifi c ideas1 )one pro,le)s* fa)il pro,le)s* relationship pro,le)s* health pro,le)s The general idea is6 1 a+ poor grades+ " ,+ causes of poor grades+ 8 c+ effects of poor grades+ In the following ite)s* the specific ideas are given ,ut the general ideas are unstated+ Fill in each ,lan- with a general heading that accuratel descri,es the list provided+

!AMP"
-eneral idea1

Household Chores

#pecific ideas1 washing dishes preparing )eals ta-ing out trash dusting 1+ -eneral idea1 #pecific ideas1 convenient wor- hours short travel ti)e to =o, good pa considerate ,oss "+ -eneral idea1 #pecific ideas1 greed cowardice selfishness dishonest 8+ -eneral idea1 #pecifi c ideas1 order the invitations get the ,ride1s gown rent the tu.edos hire a photographer :+ -eneral idea1 #pecific ideas1 /<our )other stin-s+( /<our father1s a ,u)+0 /<ou loo- li-e an ape+0 /<our car is a real piece of =un-+0 E+ -eneral idea1 #pecific ideas1 /I li-e our dress+0 /<ou loo- great in red+0 /<our new haircut loo-s terrific+0 /<ou did ver well on the e.a)+0 %a=or and )inor ideas are )i.ed together in the two paragraphs outlined ,elow+ Put the ideas in logical order , filling in the outlines+ 1+ Topic sentence1 People can ,e classified , how the treat their cars+ Seldo) wa. or vacuu) car Leep ever )echanical ite) in top shape Protective owners 3eli,eratel ignore needed )aintenance Indifferent owners Wash and polish car ever wee- Cever wash* wa.* or vacuu) car A,usive owners Inspect and service car onl when re5uired , state law 1 1 " 1 1 " a+ ?1@ ?"@ ,+ ?1@ ?"@

1 1 "

c+ ?1@ ?"@

"+ Topic sentence1 2iving with an elderl parent has )an ,enefits+ Advantages for elderl person 2ive'in ,a, 'sitter 2earn a,out the past Advantages for adult children Serve useful role in fa)il (elp with household tas-s Advantages for grandchildren Sta active and interested in oung people %ore attention fro) adults a+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 1 ?1@ " ?"@ 8 ,+ 1 " 8 : E ?1@ ?"@ c+ ?1@ ?"@

Again* )a=or and )inor ideas are )i.ed together+ In addition* in each outline one of the three )a=or ideas is )issing and )ust ,e added+ Put the ideas in logical order , filling in the outlines that follow ?su))ari4ing as needed@ and adding a third )a=or idea+ 1+ Topic sentence1 E.tending the school da would have several advantages+ (elp children acade)icall Parents -now children are safe at the school %ore ti)e to spend on ,asics 2ess pressure to cover su,=ects 5uic-l %ore ti)e for e.tras li-e art* )usic* and sports (elp wor-ing parents %ore convenient to pic- up children at : or E P+%+ Teachers1 salaries would ,e raised a+ 1 " 8 : E H N $ ?1@ ?"@ ,+ ?1@ ?"@ c+ ?1@ ?"@

"+ Topic sentence1 B following certain hints a,out food* e.ercise* and s)o-ing*

ou can increase our chances of d ing oung+ 3on1t ever wal- if ou can ride instead+ Choose foods such as ,acon and lunch )eats that are laced with nitrites and other preservatives+ Be ver selective a,out what ou eat+ If ou ,egin to cough or feel short of ,reath* -eep s)o-ing+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 1 ?1@ " ?"@ c+ 1 " ?1@ ?"@

Read the following two paragraphs+ Then outline each one in the space provided+ Write out the topic sentence in each case and su))ari4e in a few words the pri)ar and secondar supporting )aterial that fits under the topic sentence+ 1+ %hy I&m a Stay'at'(ome )aseball *an I1d )uch rather sta at ho)e and watch ,all ga)es on television than go to the ,allpar-+ First* it1s cheaper to watch a ga)e at ho)e+ I don1t have to spend Ffteen dollars for a tic-et and another ten dollars for a par-ing space+ If I want so)e refresh)ents* I can have what1s alread in the refrigerator instead of shelling out another si. dollars for a li)p* lu-ewar) hot dog and a water Co-e+ Also* it1s )ore co)forta,le at ho)e+ I avoid a ,u)per'to,u)per drive to the ,allpar- and push crowds who want to go through the sa)e gate I do+ I can lie 5uietl on ) living'roo) sofa instead of sitting on a hard stadiu) seat with nois people all around )e+ %ost of all* watching a ga)e on television is )ore infor)ative+ Cot onl do I see all the pla s that I )ight )iss fro) ) Ffteen' dollar seat* ,ut I see so)e of the) two and three ti)es in instant repla + In addition* I get each pla e.plained to )e in glorious detail+ If I were at the ,allpar-* I wouldn1t -now that the pitch our third ,ase)an hit was a high and inside slider or that his grand'sla) ho)e run was a record'setting seventh in his career+ The other fans can spend their )one > put up with trafFc* crowds* and hard seats> and guess at the pla s+ I1ll ta-e ) ,ase,all l ing downIat ho)e+ Chapter " The Writing Process If a friend invites ou to pla an outdoor sport* open a ,eer instead and head for our 2a'Q'Bo recliner+ Resist the urge to e.ercise+ Choose foods fro) one of four essential groups6 fat* starch* sugar* and grease+ S)o-e on a regular ,asis+ 1 a+

1 " 1

?1@ ?"@ ,+ Topic sentence1

a+ 1 " 8 : E H N $ ?1@ ?"@ ,+ ?1@ ?"@ c+ ?1@ ?"@

"+ %hy Teenagers Ta+e ,rugs There are several reasons wh teenagers ta-e drugs+ First of all* it is eas for oung people to get drugs+ 3rugs are availa,le al)ost an where* fro) a school cafeteria to a )ovie line to a foot,all ga)e+ Teens don1t have to ristraveling to the slu)s or dealing with shad t pes on street corners+ It is also eas to get drugs ,ecause toda 1s teens have spending )one * which co)es fro) allowances or earnings fro) part'ti)e =o,s+ Teens can use their )one to ,u the lu.uries the wantI)usic* )a-eup* clothes* or drugs+ Second* teens ta-e drugs ,ecause the adolescent ears are Flled with ps chological pro,le)s+ For a teenager* one of these pro,le)s is the pressure of )a-ing i)portant life decisions* such as choosing a career path+ Another pro,le) is esta,lishing a sense of self+ The teen ears are the ti)e when oung people )ust ,eco)e )ore independent fro) their parents and for) their own values+ The enor)ous )ental pressures of these ears can )a-e so)e people turn to drugs+ A Fnal* and perhaps )ost i)portant* reason wh teenagers ta-e drugs is peer pressure to confor)+ Teens often ,eco)e ver close to special friends* for one thing* and the will share a friend1s interests* even if one interest is drugs+ Teenagers also attend parties and other social events where it1s all'i)portant to ,e one of the crowd* to ,e /cool+0 Even the )ost )ature teenager )ight ,e te)pted to use drugs rather than ris- ,eing an outcast+ For all these reasons* drugs are a )a=or pro,le) facing teenagers+ Topic sentence1 1 a+

1 " 1 1 " 1 1 "

?1@ ?"@ ,+ ?1@ ?"@ c+ ?1@ ?"@

: Revising 2isted in the ,o. ,elow are five stages in the process of co)posing a paragraph titled /3angerous Places+0 The five stages appear in scra),led order ,elow and on the ne.t page+ Write the nu),er 1 in the ,lan- space in front of the first stage of develop)ent and nu),er the re)aining stages in se5uence+ There are so)e places where I never feel safe+ For e.a)ple* pu,lic rest roo)s+ The dirt and grafF ti dirt on the Foors and the grafF ti scrawled on the walls )a-e the roo) see) dangerous create a sense of danger+ I1) also afraid in par-ing lots+ 2ate at night* I don1t li-e wal-ing in the lot After class* I don1t li-e the par-ing lot+ When I leave ) night class or the shopping )all late the wal- to the car is scar + %ost par-ing lots have large lights which )a-e )e feel at least a little ,etter+ I feel least safe in our laundr roo)+ + + + It is a depressing place + + + Bars on the windows* + + + pipes )a-ing noises* + + + ce)ent steps the onl wa out+ + + + Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 3angerous Places (ighwa s CarsIespeciall par-ing lots Feel frightened in our laundr roo) Big crowdsIconcerts* )ovies Closed'in places Bus and train stations Airplane Elevators and escalators ,angerous Pla-es There are so)e places where I never feel co)pletel safe+ For e.a)ple* I seldo) feel safe in pu,lic rest roo)s+ I worr that I1ll suddenl ,e alone there and that so)eone will co)e in to )ug )e+ The ugl grafFti often scrawled on the walls* along with the gri)e and dirt in the roo) and cru)pled tissues and paper towels on the Foor* add to ) sense of unease and danger+ I also feel unsafe in large* dar-* par-ing

lots+ When I leave ) night class a little late* or I a) one of the few leaving the )all at 1# P+%+* I dread the wal- to ) car+ I a) afraid that so)eone )a ,e lur-ing ,ehind another car* read to )ug )e+ And I fear that ) car will not start* leaving )e stuc- in the dar- par-ing lot+ The place where I feel least safe is the ,ase)ent laundr roo) in our apart)ent ,uilding+ Co )atter what ti)e I do ) laundr * I see) to ,e the onl person there+ The windows are ,arred* and the onl e.it is a steep F ight of ce)ent steps+ While I1) folding the clothes* I feel trapped+ If an one unfriendl ca)e down those steps* I would have nowhere to go+ The pipes in the roo) )a-e sudden gurgles* clan-s* and hisses* adding to ) unsettledness+ Places li-e pu,lic rest roo)s* dar- par-ing lots* and the ,ase)ent laundr roo) give )e the shivers+ There are so)e places where I never feel co)pletel safe+ For e.a)ple* I never feel safe in pu,lic rest roo)s+ If I1) alone there* I worr that so)eone will co)e in to ro, and )ug )e+ The dirt on the F oors and the grafFti scrawled on the walls create a sense of danger+ I feel unsafe in large* dar- par-ing lots+ When I leave ) night class a little late or I leave the )all at 1# P+%+* the wal- to the car is scar + I1) afraid that so)eone )a ,e ,ehind a car+ Also that ) car won1t start+ Another place I don1t feel safe is the ,ase)ent laundr roo) in our apart)ent ,uilding+ Co )atter when I do the laundr * I1) the onl person there+ The windows are ,arred and there are steep steps+ I feel trapped when I fold the clothes+ The pipes in the roo) )a-e frightening noises such as hisses and clan-s+ 9ur laundr roo) and other places give )e the shivers+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ So)e places see) dangerous and unsafe to )e+ For e.a)ple* last

night I sta ed till 1#61E after night class and wal-ed out to par-ing lot alone+ Ker scar + Also* other places I go to ever da * such as places in ) apart)ent ,uilding+ Also frightened , ,ig crowds and pu,lic rest roo)s+ Wh was the par-ing lot scar 7 What places in ) ,uilding scare )e7 3ar- 2aundr roo) ?especiall @ 9nl a few cars Elevators Co one else in lot 2o,, at night so)eti)es Could ,e so)eone ,ehind a car 9utside wal-wa at night Cold " Par-ing lots 8 2aundr roo) 1 Pu,lic rest roo)s The author of /3angerous Places0 in Activit 1H )ade a nu),er of editing changes ,etween the second draft and the final draft+ Co)pare the two drafts and* in the spaces provided ,elow* identif five of the changes+ 1 " 8 : E

The First and Second

Steps in Writing

There are many different reasons for going to college. $erhaps you are studying fashion like the student pictured here. The following chapter contains two student paragraphs detailing each of the writer s reasons for being in college. Think about your own reasons for attending college. .ou may want to make a list of these reasons. 't the end of this chapter you will be asked to write your own paragraph on why you are in college. Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Chapter " e)phasi4ed how prewriting and revising can help ou ,eco)e an effective writer+ This chapter will focus on the first two steps in writing an effective paragraph6

1+ Begin with a point+ "+ Support the point with specifi c evidence+ www+)hhe+co)Dlangan Chapters : and E will then loo- at the third and fourth steps in writing6 1 " 9rgani4e and connect the specific evidence ?pages $:P1#:@+ Write clear* error'free sentences ?pages 1#HP18H@+

Step 16 Begin with a Point <our first step in writing is to decide what point ou want to )a-e and to write that point in a single sentence+ The point is co))onl -nown as a topic sentence. As a guide to ourself and to the reader* put that point in the first sentence of our paragraph+ Ever thing else in the paragraph should then develop and support in specific wa s the single point given in the fi rst sentence+ Read the two student paragraphs ,elow a,out fa)ilies toda + Which paragraph clearl supports a single point7 Which paragraph ra),les on in )an directions* introducing a nu),er of ideas ,ut developing none of the)7 Paragraph A Paragraph ) The *amily Fa)il togetherness is ver i)portant+ (owever* toda 1s )others spend )uch less ti)e at ho)e than their )others did* for several reasons+ %ost fathers are also ho)e )uch less than the used to ,e+ In previous ti)es* fa)ilies had to wor- together running a far)+ Cow children are left at other places or are ho)e alone )uch of the ti)e+ So)e fa)ilies do Fnd wa s to spend )ore ti)e together despite the de)ands of wor-+ Another pro,le) is that with parents gone so )uch of the da * no,od is at ho)e to prepare wholeso)e )eals for the fa)il to eat together+ The )eals &rand)a used to )a-e would include pot roast and fried chic-en* )ashed potatoes* salad* vegeta,les* and delicious ho)e)ade desserts+ Toda 1s ta-eout foods and fro4en )eals can provide good nutrition+ So)e )enu choices offer nothing ,ut high'fat and high'sodiu) choices+ People can supple)ent prepared foods , eating sufFcient vegeta,les and fruit+ Finall * television is also a ,ig o,stacle to togetherness+ It so)eti)es see)s that people are constantl watching TK and never tal-ing to each other+ Even when parents have friends over* it is often to watch so)ething on TK+ TK )ust ,e used wisel to achieve fa)il togetherness+

Complete the following statement1 Paragraph is effective ,ecause it )a-es a clear* single point in the fi rst sentence and goes on in the re)aining sentences to support that single point+

Paragraph A starts with a pointIthat changes in our societ in recent ears have wea-ened fa)il lifeIand then supports that idea with e.a)ples a,out )others1 wor-ing* fa)ilies1 eating ha,its* and television+ Paragraph B* on the other hand* does not )a-e and support a single point+ At first we thin- the point of the paragraph )a ,e that /fa)il togetherness is ver i)portant+0 But there is no supporting evidence showing how i)portant fa)il togetherness is+ Instead* the line of thought in paragraph B swerves a,out li-e a car without a steering wheel+ In the second sentence* we read that /toda 1s )others spend )uch less ti)e at ho)e than their )others did* for several reasons+0 Cow we thin- for a )o)ent that this )a ,e the )ain point and that the author will go on to list and e.plain so)e of those reasons+ But the paragraph then goes on to co))ent on fathers* fa)ilies in previous ti)es* and fa)ilies who find wa s to spend ti)e together+ An one of those ideas could ,e the focus of the paragraph* ,ut none is+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ B now we are not reall surprised at what happens in the rest of the paragraph+ We are told a,out the a,sence of an one /to prepare wholeso)e )eals for the fa)il *0 a,out what /the )eals &rand)a used to )a-e0 would ,e li-e* and a,out nutrition+ The author then goes on to )a-e a couple of points a,out how )uch people watch TK+ The paragraph ends with et another idea that does not support an previous point and that itself could ,e the point of a paragraph6 /TK )ust ,e used wisel to achieve fa)il togetherness+0 Co single idea in this paragraph is developed* and the result for the reader is confusion+ In su))ar * while paragraph A is unified* paragraph B shows a co)plete lac- of unit + Step "6 Support the Point with SpeciF c Evidence The fi rst essential step in writing effectivel is to start with a clearl stated point+ The second ,asic step is to support that point with specific evidence+ Consider the supported point that ou =ust read6 Point Changes in our societ in recent ears have wea-ened fa)il life+ Support 1 " 8 : E H N ?1@ %others ?a@ %ost sta ed ho)e a generation ago ?,@ %ost wor- now* leaving children at an after'school progra)* or with a neigh,or* or in an e)pt house ?"@ Eating ha,its ?a@ For)erl full ho)e)ade )eals* eaten together ?,@ Cow prepared foods at ho)e or fast food out* eaten separatel ?8@ Television

$ R

?a@ Watching TK instead of conversing ?,@ Watching in separate roo)s instead of ,eing together

The supporting evidence is needed so that we can see and understand for ourselves that the writer1s point is sound+ The author of /Changes in the Fa)il 0 has supplied specific supporting e.a)ples of how changes in our societ have wea-ened fa)il life+ The paragraph has provided the evidence that is needed for us to understand and agree with the writer1s point+ Cow consider the following paragraph6 .ood')ye, Tony I have decided not to go out with Ton an )ore+ First of all* he was late for our Frst date+ (e said that he would ,e at ) house , $68#* ,ut he did not arrive until R68#+ Second* he was ,oss + (e told )e that it would ,e too late to go to the new Chris Rocco)ed that I wanted to see* and that we would go instead to a new action Fl) with the Roc-+ I told hi) that I didn1t li-e violent )ovies* ,ut he said that I could shut ) e es during the ,lood parts+ 9nl ,ecause it was a Frst date did I let hi) have his wa + Finall * he was a,rupt+ After the )ovie* rather than suggesting a ha),urger or a drin-* he drove right out to a ,ac- road near 9a-crest (igh School and started )a-ing out with )e+ What he did a half hour later angered )e )ost of all+ (e cut his Fnger on ) earring and i))ediatel said we had to go right ho)e+ (e was afraid the scratch would get infected if he didn1t put Bactine and a Band'Aid on it+ When he dropped )e off* I said* /&ood', e* Ton *0 in a friendl enough wa * ,ut in ) head I thought* /&ood', e forever* Ton +0 The author1s point is that she has decided not to go out with Ton an )ore+ See if ou can su))ari4e in the spaces ,elow the three reasons she gives to support her decision6 Reason 16 Reason "6 Reason 86 Cotice what the supporting details in this paragraph do+ The provide ou* the reader* with a ,asis for understanding wh the writer )ade the decision she did+ Through specific evidence* the writer has e.plained and co))unicated her point successfull + The evidence that supports the point in a paragraph often consists of a series of reasons introduced , signal words ?the author here uses %irst of all, #econd, and %inally@ and followed , e.a)ples and details that support the reasons+ That is true of the sa)ple paragraph a,ove6 three reasons are provided* followed , e.a)ples and details that ,ac-

up those reasons+ The Point as an /;),rella0 Idea <ou )a find it helpful to thin- of the point as an /u),rella0 idea+ ;nder the writer1s point fi ts all of the other )aterial of the paragraph+ That other )aterial is )ade up of specifi c supporting detailsI evidence such as e.a)ples* reasons* or facts+ The diagra) to the right shows the relationship for the paragraph /&ood'B e* Ton 06 Both of the paragraphs that follow resulted fro) an assign)ent to /Write a paragraph that details our reasons for ,eing in college+0 Both writers )a-e the point that the have various reasons for attending college+ Which paragraph then goes on to provide plent of specific evidence to ,ac- up its point7 Which paragraph is vague and repetitive and lac-s the concrete details needed to show us e.actl wh the author decided to attend college7 (I#T I)agine that ou1ve ,een as-ed to )a-e a short fil) ,ased on each paragraph+ Which one suggests specific pictures* locations* words* and scenes ou could shoot7 This is the one that uses concrete details+ Paragraph A Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ =o, I had+ When I lost the =o,* I reali4ed I would have to do so)ething in life* so I thought a,out school+ I was in a rut and needed to get out of it ,ut did not -now how+ But when so)ething happens that is out of our control* then ou have to )a-e so)e -ind of decision+ The )ost i)portant reason for college* though* is to fulFll ) drea)+ I -now I need an education* and I want to ta-e the courses I need to reach the position that I thin- I can handle+ 9nl , 5ualif ing ourself can ou get what ou want+ &oing to college will help )e fulFll this goal+ These are the )ain reasons wh I a) attending college+

Paragraph )

%hy I&m in S-hool There are several reasons I1) in school+ First of all* ) father1s attitude )ade )e want to succeed in school+ 9ne night last ear* after I had co)e in at 8 A+%+* ) father said* /%ic-e * ou1re a ,u)+ When I loo- at ) son* all I see is a good'for'nothing ,u)+0 I was angr * ,ut I -new ) father was right in a wa + I had spent the last two ears wor-ing at odd =o,s at a pi44a parlor and luncheonette* tr ing all -inds of drugs with )

friends+ That night* though* I decided I would prove ) father wrong+ I would go to college and ,e a success+ Another reason I1) in college is ) girlfriend1s encourage)ent+ %arie has alread ,een in school for a ear* and she is doing well in her co)puter courses+ %arie helped )e Fll out ) application and register for courses+ She even lent )e si.t 'Fve dollars for te.t,oo-s+ 9n her da off* she lets )e use her car so I don1t have to ta-e the college ,us+ The )ain reason I a) in college is to fulFll a personal goal6 for the Frst ti)e in ) life* I want to Fnish so)ething+ For e.a)ple* I 5uit high school in the eleventh grade+ Then I enrolled in a govern)ent =o,'training progra)* ,ut I dropped out after Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Reinforcing Point and Support <ou have now learned the two )ost i)portant steps in writing effectivel 6 )a-ing a point and supporting that point+ Ta-e a few )inutes now to do the following activit + It will strengthen our a,ilit to recogni4e a point and the support for that point+
www+)hhe+co)Dlangan

In the following groups* one state)ent is the general point and the other state)ents are specific support for the point+ Identif each point with a P and each state)ent of support with an S+ !AMP" S S S % )other has cancer+ % fourteen' ear'old sister is pregnant+ I lost ) =o,+

P % fa)il has real pro,le)s+

1 " 8 :

The -itchen is so s)all that onl one person can ,e there+ A near, ,us station fills the apart)ent with e.haust fu)es ever )orning+ The apart)ent has so)e real draw,ac-s+ There are no closets+ So)e people s-ip ,rea-fast+ So)e people have poor eating ha,its+ So)e people alwa s order supersi4e portions+ So)e people eat al)ost no fruits or vegeta,les+ Children are at ris- at the school+ There are two active gangs in the school+ Lnives and guns have ,een found in loc-ers+ 3rug ,usts have ,een )ade at the school+ Cats are clean and do not re5uire )uch attention+ Cats li-e living indoors and are safe to have around children+ Cats are ine.pensive to feed and eas to -eep health + There are definite advantages to having a cat as a pet+

E H N

Ron feels short of ,reath+ Ron is getting di44 and sweat + Ron )ight ,e having a heart attac-+ Ron has pain in his chest+ The couple had different goals+ The couple disli-ed each other1s friends+ The couple shared few interests in co))on+ The couple had good reasons to ,rea- up+ The ,read the waiter ,rought us is stale+ We1ve ,een waiting for our )ain course for over an hour+ It is ti)e to spea- to the restaurant )anager+ The people ne.t to us are awfull loud+

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 1 Carla as-s ou 5uestions a,out ourself+ Carla is a pleasure to ,e around+ Carla has a great s)ile+ Carla reall listens when ou tal-+ " % ,oss is hard to wor- for+ She lac-s a sense of hu)or+ She never gives praise+ She ti)es all our ,rea-s to the second+ The )an doesn1t use his turn signals+ The )an drives too fast down narrow residential streets+ The )an doesn1t co)e to a co)plete stop at stop signs+ The )an is an unsafe driver+ Though a )os5uito is s)all* it has power+ A )os5uito can find ou in the dar-+ A )os5uito can -eep ou awa-e all night+ A )os5uito can )a-e ou scratch ourself until ou ,leed+ Because sending e')ail is so si)ple* fa)il and friends )a use it to sta in close touch+ When people are upset* the )a send off an angr e')ail ,efore the consider the conse5uences+ The =o-es* petitions* and other e')ails that friends so easil forward can ,eco)e a real nuisance+ 1 The ease of using e')ail can ,e ,oth a ,lessing and a curse+ When so)e people answer the phone* their first words are /Who1s this70 So)e people never ,other to identif the)selves when calling so)eone+ So)e people have terri,le telephone )anners+ So)e people hang up without even sa ing good' , e+ 9ne )other created what she called the ho)ewor- 4oneIthe -itchen ta,le after dinnerIwhere she and her oung children did their assign)ents+ So)e adult students have ta-en classes at a near, co))unit college during their lunch hour+ Adult students often find creative wa s to ,alance school* e)plo )ent* and fa)il responsi,ilities+ B listening to recorded lectures in the car* wor-ing students turn

8 : E

"

travel ti)e into learning ti)e+ 1E+ %oviegoers can ta-e several si)ple steps to save )one at the )ovie theater+ Bringing ho)e)ade popcorn to the )ovies is cheaper than ,u ing e.pensive theater popcorn+ Bu ing cand at a grocer store* not a theater* cuts cand costs in half+ &oing to )ovies earl in the da reduces tic-et prices , as )uch as G8 each+ The I)portance of #peci/ c 3etails

The point that opens a paragraph is a general state)ent+ The evidence that supports a point is )ade up of specific details* reasons* e.a)ples* and facts+ Specific details have two -e functions+ First of all* details e+cite the reader s interest. The )a-e writing a pleasure to read* for we all en=o learning particulars a,out other peopleIwhat the do and thin- and feel+ Second* details support and e+plain a writer s point6 the give the evidence needed for us to see and understand a general idea+ For e.a)ple* the writer of /&ood'B e* Ton 0 provides details that )a-e vividl clear her decision not to see Ton an )ore+ She specifies the e.act ti)e Ton was supposed to arrive ?$68#@ and when he actuall arrived ?R68#@+ She )entions the -ind of fil) she wanted to see ?a new Chris Roc- )ovie@ and the one that Ton too- her to instead ?a violent )ovie@+ She tells us what she )a have wanted to do after the )ovie ?have a ha),urger or a drin-@ and what the did instead ?)a-ing out@> she even specifies the e.act location of the place Ton too- her ?a ,ac- road near 9a-crest (igh School@+ She e.plains precisel what happened ne.t ?Ton /cut his fi nger on ) earring0@ and even )entions , na)e ?Bactine and a Band'Aid@ the treat)ents he planned to use+ The writer of /Wh I1) in School0 provides e5uall vivid details+ (e gives clear reasons for ,eing in school ?his father1s attitude* his girlfriend1s encourage)ent* and his wish to fulfill a personal goal@ and ,ac-s up each reason with specifi c details+ (is details give us )an sharp pictures+ For instance* we hear the e.act words his father spo-e6 /%ic-e * ou1re a ,u)+0 (e tells us e.actl how he was spending his ti)e ?/wor-ing at odd =o,s at a pi44a parlor and luncheonette* tr ing all -inds of drugs with ) friends0@+ (e descri,es how his girlfriend helped hi) ?filling out the college application* lending )one and her car@+ Finall * instead of stating generall that / ou have to )a-e so)e -ind of decision*0 as the writer of /Reasons for &oing to College0 does* he specifies that he has a strong desire to finish college ,ecause he dropped out of )an schools and

progra)s in the past6 high school* a =o,'training progra)* and a high school e5uivalenc course+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ In ,oth /&ood'B e* Ton 0 and /Wh I1) in School*0 then* the vivid* e.act details capture our interest and ena,le us to share in the writer1s e.perience+ We see people1s actions and hear their words> the details provide pictures that )a-e each of us feel /I a) there+0 The particulars also allow us to understand each writer1s point clearl + We are shown e.actl wh the first writer has decided not to see Ton an )ore and e.actl wh the second writer is attending college+ Each of the five points ,elow is followed , two atte)pts at support ?a and b@+ Write S ?for specifi c@ in the space ne.t to the one that succeeds in providing specifi c support for the point+ Write S in the space ne.t to the one that lac-s supporting details+ 1+ % two' ear'old son was in a stu,,orn )ood toda + 1 " a+ When I as-ed hi) to do so)ething* he gave )e nothing ,ut trou,le+ (e see)ed deter)ined to )a-e things difficult for )e* for he had his )ind )ade up+ ,+ When I as-ed hi) to stop pla ing in the ard and co)e indoors* he loo-ed )e s5uare in the e e and shouted /CoB0 and then spelled it out* /C + + + 9B0

"+ The prices in the a)use)ent par- were outrageousl high+ 1 " a+ The food see)ed to cost twice as )uch as it would in a super)ar-et and was so)eti)es of poor 5ualit + The rides also cost a lot* and so I had to tell the children that the were li)ited to a certain nu),er of the)+ ,+ The cost of the log flu)e* a ride that lasts roughl three )inutes* was ten dollars a person+ Then I had to pa four dollars for an eight'ounce cup of Co-e and si. dollars for a hot dog+

8+ % ,rother'in'law is accident'prone+ 1 " a+ 9nce he tried to open a tu,e of Lra4 &lue with his teeth+ When the cap ca)e loose* glue s5uirted out and sealed his lips shut+ The had to ,e pried open in a hospital e)ergenc roo)+ ,+ Even when he does see)ingl si)ple =o,s* he see)s to get into trou,le+ This can lead to hilarious* ,ut so)eti)es dangerous* results+ Things never see) to go right for hi)* and he often needs the help of others to get out of one predica)ent or another+

:+ The so'called /,argains0 at the ard sale were =un-+ 1 " a+ The ta,les were filled with useless stuff no one could possi,l want+ The were the -inds of things that should ,e thrown awa * not sold+ ,+ The /,argains0 included two headless dolls* ,lan-ets fi lled with holes* scorched potholders* and a plastic Christ)as tree with several ,ranches )issing+

Follow the directions for Activit :+ 1+ The house has ,een neglected , its owners+ 1 " a+ As soon as ou loo- at the house fro) the outside* ou can tell that repairs need to ,e )ade+ The roof is ,adl in need of attention+ But it is ver o,vious that other outside parts of the house also are ,adl in need of care+ ,+ The roof is )issing a nu),er of shingles+ The house1s paint is peeling and spotted with )old+ Two windows have ,een covered with pl wood+

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ "+ Students have practical uses for co)puters+ 1 " a+ Students sta in touch with friends , e')ail+ The often shop over the Internet+ The do all their research online+ ,+ Students have an easier wa now to co))unicate with their friends+ The can also save ti)e now6 the have no need to go out and ,u things ,ut can do it at ho)e+ Also* getting infor)ation the need for papers no longer re5uires spending ti)e in the li,rar +

8+ Rico -new ver little a,out coo-ing when he got his first apart)ent+ 1 " a+ (e had to live on whatever he had in the free4er for a while+ (e was not an good in the -itchen and had to learn ver slowl + %ore often than not* he would learn how to coo- so)ething onl , )a-ing )ista-es fi rst+ ,+ (e lived on )acaroni and cheese TK dinners for three wee-s+ (is idea of coo-ing an egg was to put a whole egg in the )icrowave* where it e.ploded+ Then he tried to )a-e a grilled cheese sandwich , putting slices of cheese and ,read in a toaster+

:+ Spea-ing ,efore a group is a pro,le) for )an people+ 1 " a+ The ,eco)e unco)forta,le even at the thought of spea-ing in pu,lic+ The will go to al)ost an length to avoid spea-ing to a group+ If the are forced to do it* the can feel so an.ious that the actuall develop ph sical s )pto)s+ ,+ Stage fright* sta))ering* and ,lushing are fre5uent reactions+ So)e people will pretend to ,e ill to avoid spea-ing pu,licl + When as-ed to ran- their worst fears* people often list pu,lic spea-ing as even worse than death+

E+ S)all children can have as )uch fun with ordinar household ite)s as with costl to s+ 1 " a+ A large sheet thrown over a card ta,le )a-es a great hideout or pla house+ Banging pot covers together )a-es a tre)endous crash that -ids love+ Also* -ids li-e to )a-e long* winding fences out of wooden clothespins+ ,+ Lids can )a-e )usical instru)ents out of practicall an thing+ The result is a lot of noise and fun+ The can easil create their own pla areas as well , using a little i)agination+ There is si)pl no need to have to spend a lot of )one on pla things+

www+)hhe+co)Dlangan

The I)portance of 'de0uate 3etails 9ne of the )ost co))on and )ost serious pro,le)s in students1 writing is inade5uate develop)ent+ <ou )ust provide enough specific details to support full the point ou are )a-ing+ <ou could not* for e.a)ple* su,)it a paragraph a,out our ,rother'in'law ,eing rude and provide onl a single short e.a)ple+ <ou would have to add several other e.a)ples or provide an e.tended e.a)ple of our ,rother'in'law1s rudeness+ Without such additional support* our paragraph would ,e underdeveloped+ At ti)es* students tr to disguise an undersupported point , using repetition and word generalities+ <ou saw this* for e.a)ple* in paragraph A ?/Reasons for &oing to College0@ on page E1+ Be prepared to do the plain hard wor- needed to ensure that each of our paragraphs has full* solid support+ The following paragraphs were written on the sa)e topic* and each has a clear opening point+ Which one is ade5uatel developed7 Which one has few particulars and uses )ostl vague* general* word sentences to conceal the fact that it is starved for specifi c details7 Paragraph A Paragraph ) Mistreatment o/ Publi- Par+s So)e people )istreat pu,lic par-s+ Their ,ehavior is evident in )an wa s* and the catalog of a,uses could go on al)ost without stopping+ 3ifferent -inds of de,ris are left , people who have used the par- as a place for attending to their auto)o,iles+ The are not the onl individuals who )istreat pu,lic par-s* which should ,e used with respect for the co))on good of all+ %an oung people co)e to the par- and a,use it* and their offenses can occur in an season of the ear+ The reason for their inconsiderate ,ehavior is -nown onl to the)selves+ 9ther visitors lac- personal cleanliness in their personal ha,its when the co)e to the par-* and the par- suffers ,ecause of it+ Such people see) to have the attitude that so)eone else should clean up after the)+ It is an undenia,le fact that people are the )ost dangerous thing that par-s )ust contend with+

Complete the following statement1 Paragraph provides an ade5uate nu),er of specific details to support its point+ Paragraph A offers a series of detailed e.a)ples of how people a,use par-s+ Paragraph B* on the other hand* is underdeveloped+ Paragraph B spea-s onl of /different -inds of de,ris*0 while paragraph A refers specificall to /du)ped ashtra s and car litter ,ags0> paragraph B tal-s in a general wa of oung people a,using the par-* while paragraph A supplies such particulars as /cans of spra paint0 and defacing /,uildings* fences* fountains* and statues+0 And there is no e5uivalent in paragraph B for the specifics

in paragraph A a,out people who steal par- propert and litter par- grounds+ In su))ar * paragraph B lac-s the full* detailed support needed to develop its opening point convincingl + Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ To check your understanding of the chapter so far, see if you can answer the following questions. 1 " 8 1 " It has been observed: To write well, the rst thing that you must do is decide what nail you want to drive home. What is meant by nail? How do you drive home the nail in the paragraph? What are the two reasons for using specic details in your writing? a. b. in %a-ing and Supporting a Point

Practice

<ou now -now the two )ost i)portant steps in co)petent writing6 ?1@ )a-ing a point and ?"@ supporting that point with specific evidence+ The purpose of this section is to e.pand and strengthen our understanding of these two ,asic steps+ <ou will first wor- through a series of activities on making a point6 1 " 8 : E Identif ing Co))on Errors in Topic Sentences ;nderstanding the Two Parts of a Topic Sentence Selecting a Topic Sentence Writing a Topic Sentence6 I Writing a Topic Sentence6 II

<ou will then sharpen our understanding of specific details , wor-ing through a series of activities on supporting a point6 1 " 8 : E H Recogni4ing Specific 3etails6 I Recogni4ing Specific 3etails6 II Providing Supporting Evidence Identif ing Ade5uate Supporting Evidence Adding 3etails to Co)plete a Paragraph Writing a Si)ple Paragraph

1 Identif ing Co))on Errors in Topic Sentences When writing a point* or topic sentence* people so)eti)es )a-e )ista-es that under)ine their chances of producing an effective paper+ 9ne )ista-e is to su,stitute an announce)ent of the topic for a true topic sentence+ 9ther )ista-es Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ include writing state)ents that are too ,road or too narrow+ Following are e.a)ples of all three errors* along with contrasting e.a)ples of effective topic sentences+ Announ-ement

% car is the concern of this paragraph+ The state)ent a,ove is a si)ple announce)ent of a su,=ect* rather than a topic sentence e.pressing an idea a,out the su,=ect+ Statement That Is Too )road %an people have pro,le)s with their cars+ The state)ent is too ,road to ,e supported ade5uatel with specific details in a single paragraph+ Statement That Is Too #arro0 % car is a Ford Focus+ The state)ent a,ove is too narrow to ,e e.panded into a paragraph+ Such a narrow state)ent is so)eti)es called a dead7end statement ,ecause there is no place to go with it+ It is a si)ple fact that does not need or call for an support+ //e-ti1e Topi- Senten-e I hate ) car+ The state)ent a,ove e.presses an opinion that could ,e supported in a paragraph+ The writer could offer a series of specific supporting reasons* e.a)ples* and details to )a-e it clear wh he or she hates the car+ (ere are additional e.a)ples6 Announ-ements The su,=ect of this paper will ,e ) apart)ent+ I want to tal- a,out increases in the divorce rate+ Statements That Are Too )road The places where people live have definite effects on their lives+ %an people have trou,le getting along with others+ Statements That Are Too #arro0 I have no hot water in ) apart)ent at night+ Al)ost one of ever two )arriages ends in divorce+ //e-ti1e Topi- Senten-es % apart)ent is a terri,le place to live+ The divorce rate is increasing for several reasons+ For each pair of sentences ,elow* write A ,eside the sentence that onl announces a topic+ Write 9L ,eside the sentence that advances an idea a,out the topic+ 1+ a+ This paper will deal with fl un-ing )ath+ ,. I flun-ed )ath last se)ester for several reasons+

"+ a+ I a) going to write a,out ) =o, as a gas station attendant+ ,. Wor-ing as a gas station attendant was the worst =o, I ever had+ 8+ a+ 9,scene phone calls are the su,=ect of this paragraph+ ,. People should -now what to do when the receive an o,scene phone call+ :+ a+ In several wa s* ) college li,rar is inconvenient to use+ ,. This paragraph will deal with the college li,rar + E+ a+ % paper will discuss the topic of procrastinating+ ,. The following steps will help ou stop procrastinating+ For each pair of sentences ,elow* write TC ,eside the state)ent that is too narrow to ,e developed into a paragraph+ Write 9L ,eside the state)ent in each pair that could ,e developed into a paragraph+ 1+ a+ I do push'ups and sit'ups each )orning+ ,. E.ercising ever )orning has had positive effects on ) health+ "+ a+ JosT wor-s nine hours a da and then goes to school three hours a night+ ,. JosT is an a),itious )an+ 8+ a+ I started college after ,eing awa fro) school for seven ears+ ,. Several of ) fears a,out returning to school have proved to ,e groundless+ :+ a+ Parts of Walt 3isne 1s *ambi )a-e the )ovie frightening for children+ ,. 2ast su))er I visited 3isne land in Anahei)* California+ E+ a+ % ,rother was depressed esterda for several reasons+ ,. <esterda ) ,rother had to pa fift 'two dollars for a )otor tune'up+ For each pair of sentences ,elow* write TB ,eside the state)ent that is too broad to ,e supported ade5uatel in a short paper+ Write 9L ,eside the state)ent that )a-es a li)ited point+ 1+ a+ Professional foot,all is a dangerous sport+ ,. Professional sports are violent+

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ "+ a+ %arried life is the ,est wa of living+ ,. Teenage )arriages often end in divorce for several reasons+ 8+ a+ Aspirin can have several har)ful side effects+ ,. 3rugs are dangerous+ :+ a+ I1ve alwa s done poorl in school+ ,. I flun-ed )ath last se)ester for several reasons+ E+ a+ Co)puters are changing our societ + ,. ;sing co)puters to teach schoolchildren is a )ista-e+ " ;nderstanding the Two Parts of a Topic Sentence As stated earlier* the point that opens a paragraph is often called a topic sentence. When ou loo- closel at a point* or topic sentence* ou can see that it is )ade up of two parts6 1 " The limited topic The writer1s attitude toward or idea a,out the li)ited topic

The writer1s attitude* point of view* or idea is usuall e.pressed in one or )ore key words. All the details in a paragraph should support the idea e.pressed in the -e words+ In each of the topic sentences ,elow* a single line appears under the topic and a dou,le line under the idea a,out the topic ?e.pressed in a -e word or -e words@6 % girlfriend is ver aggressive+ (ighwa accidents are often caused , a,sent)indedness+ The -itchen is the )ost widel used roo) in ) house+ Koting should ,e re5uired , law in the ;nited States+ % pic-up truc- is the )ost relia,le vehicle I have ever owned+ In the first sentence* the topic is girlfriend, and the -e word that e.presses the writer1s idea a,out his topic is that his girlfriend is aggressive. In the second sentence* the topic is highway accidents, and the -e word that deter)ines the focus of the paragraph is that such accidents are often caused , absentmindedness. Cotice each topic and -e word or -e words in the other three sentences as well+ For each point ,elow* draw a single line under the topic and a dou,le line under the idea a,out the topic+ 1 " 1 Bill,oards should ,e a,olished+ % ,oss is an a),itious )an+ Politicians are often self'serving+

" 8 : E H N $ R 1# 11 1" 18 1: 1E 1H 1N 1$

The apart)ent needed repairs+ Television co))ercials are often insulting+ % parents have rigid racial attitudes+ The )iddle child is often a neglected )e),er of the fa)il + The language in )an )ovies toda is offensive+ 3octors are often insensitive+ (o)eowners toda are )ore energ 'conscious than ever ,efore+ % car is a te)pera)ental )achine+ % friend 3e,,ie* who is onl nineteen* is e.tre)el old'fashioned+ 2oo-ing for a =o, can ,e a degrading e.perience+ The dail life of students is filled with conflicts+ Regulations in the school cafeteria should ,e strictl enforced+ The national speed li)it should ,e raised+ 9ur vacation turned out to ,e a disaster+ The cit 1s traffic'light s ste) has ,oth values and draw,ac-s+ Insects serve )an useful purposes+ Serious depression often has several warning signs+ 8 Selecting a Topic Sentence Re)e),er that a paragraph is )ade up of a topic sentence and a group of related sentences developing the topic sentence+ It is also helpful to re)e),er that the topic sentence is a general state)ent+ The other sentences provide specifi c support for the general state)ent+

Each group of sentences ,elow could ,e written as a short paragraph+ Circle the letter of the topic sentence in each case+ To find the topic sentence* as- ourself* /Which is a general state)ent supported , the specifi c details in the other three state)ents70 Begin , tr ing the e.a)ple ite) ,elow+ First circle the letter of the sentence ou thin- e.presses the )ain idea+ Then read the e.planation+ !AMP" 1 " 8 a+ If ou stop carr ing )atches or a lighter* ou can cut down on i)pulse s)o-ing+ ,+ If ou sit in no's)o-ing areas* ou will s)o-e less+ c+ <ou can ,ehave in wa s that will help ou s)o-e less+

9 d+ B -eeping a record of when and where ou s)o-e* ou can identif the )ost te)pting situations and then avoid the)+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 1+ a+ /I couldn1t stud ,ecause I forgot to ,ring ) te.t,oo- ho)e+0 1 ,+ /I couldn1t ta-e the final ,ecause ) grand)other died+0 " c+ Students give instructors so)e co))on e.cuses+ 8 d+ /I couldn1t co)e to class ,ecause I had a )igraine headache+0

"+ a+ Its ,ra-es are ,adl worn+ 1 ,+ % old car is read for the =un- pile+ " c+ Its floor has rusted through* and water splashes on ) feet when the highwa is wet+ 8 d+ % )echanic sa s its engine is too old to ,e repaired* and the car isn1t worth the cost of a new engine+ 8+ a+ The last ti)e I ate at the diner* I got food poisoning and was sic- for two da s+ 1 ,+ The cit inspector found roaches and )ice in the diner1s -itchen+ " c+ 9ur town diner is a health ha4ard and ought to ,e closed down+ 8 d+ The toilets in the diner often ,ac- up* and the sin-s have onl a tric-le of water+ :+ a+ Part'ti)e wor-ers can ,e easil laid off+ 1 ,+ %ost part'ti)e wor-ers get no fringe ,enefi ts+ " c+ The average part'ti)er earns three dollars less an hour than a full'ti)er+ 8 d+ Part'ti)e wor-ers have second'class status+ E+ a+ In earl colleges* students were )ostl white )ales+ 1 ,+ Colleges of two centuries ago were 5uite different fro) toda 1s schools+ " c+ All students in earl colleges had to ta-e the sa)e courses+ 8 d+ The entire student ,od at earl schools would ,e onl a few do4en people+ : Writing a Topic Sentence6 I The following activit will give ou practice in writing an accurate point* or topic sentenceIone that is neither too ,road nor too narrow for the supporting )aterial in a paragraph+ So)eti)es ou will construct our topic sentence after ou have decided which details ou want to discuss+ An added value of this activit is that it shows ou how to write a topic sentence that will e.actl )atch the details ou have developed+ 1+ Topic sentence1 1 " 8 : a+ When we ,rought a /welco)e to the neigh,orhood0 present* the fa)il ne.t door didn1t even sa than- ou+ ,+ The fa)il never attends the annual ,loc- part + c+ The fa)il 1s children aren1t allowed to pla with other neigh,orhood -ids+ d+ 9ur neigh,ors -eep their curtains closed and never sit out in their ard+

"+ Topic sentence1 1 " 8 : a+ 9nl a,out thirt people ca)e to the dance* instead of the e.pected two hundred+ ,+ The ,and arrived late and spent an hour setting up+ c+ There were at least three )ales at the dance to ever fe)ale+ d+ An hour after the dance started* it ended ,ecause of a power failure+

8+ Topic sentence1 1 " 8 : a+ ,+ c+ d+ We had to wait half an hour even though we had reserved a ta,le+ 9ur appeti4er and )ain course arrived at the sa)e ti)e+ The ,us,o ignored our re5uests for )ore water+ The wrong desserts were served to us+

:+ Topic sentence1 1 " 8 : a+ In earl grades we had spelling ,ees* and I would ,e a)ong the first to sit down+ ,+ In si.th'grade English* ) teacher -ept )e ,us diagra))ing sentences on the ,oard+ c+ In tenth grade we had to recite poe)s* and I alwa s forgot ) lines+ d+ In ) senior ear* ) co)positions had )ore red correction )ar-s than an one else1s+

E+ Topic sentence1 1 " 8 : a+ The crowd scenes were crudel spliced fro) another fi l)+ ,+ %ountains and other ,ac-ground scener were =ust painted card,oard cutouts+ c+ The /s nc0 was off* so that ou heard voices even when the actors1 lips were not )oving+ d+ The so'called /)onster0 was =ust a spider that had ,een fil)ed through a )agnif ing lens+

E Writing a Topic Sentence6 II 9ften ou will start with a general topic or a general idea of what ou want to write a,out+ <ou )a * for e.a)ple* want to write a paragraph a,out so)e aspect of school life+ To co)e up with a point a,out school life* ,egin , li)iting our topic+ 9ne wa to do this is to )a-e a list of all the li)ited topics ou can thin- of that fit under the general topic+ Following are five general topics and a series of li)ited topics that fit under the)+ %a-e a point out of one of the li)ited topics in each group+ (I#T To create a topic sentence* as- ourself* /What point do I want to )a-e a,out ? my limited topic@70

!AMP" Recreation A A A A %ovies 3ancing TK shows Reading Sports parks today have some truly excitin ames!

Sports par-s
<our point6

1+ <our school A A A A A A Instructor Cafeteria Specifi c course Particular roo) or ,uilding Particular polic ?attendance* grading* etc+@ Class)ate <our point6

"+ Jo, A A A A Pa Boss Wor-ing conditions 3uties

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ A Cowor-ers A Custo)ers or clients <our point6

8+ %one A Budgets A Credit cards A 3ealing with a ,anA School e.penses A Wa s to get it A Wa s to save it <our point6

:+ Cars A First car A 3river1s test A Road conditions A Accident A %andator speed li)it A Safet pro,le)s <our point6

E+ Sports A A tea)1s chances A At our school A Wo)en1s tea) A Recreational versus spectator A Favorite tea) A 9utstanding athlete <our point6 Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ H Recogni4ing SpeciFc 3etails6 I #pecifi c details are e.a)ples* reasons* particulars* and facts+ Such details are needed to support and e.plain a topic sentence effectivel + The provide the evidence needed for readers to understand* as well as to feel and e.perience* a writer1s point+ (ere is a topic sentence followed , two sets of supporting sentences+ Which set provides sharp* specifi c details7 Topi- Senten-e So)e poor people )ust struggle to )a-e )eals for the)selves+ Set A The gather up whatever free food the can find in fast'food restaurants and ta-e it ho)e to use however the can+ Instead of planning well',alanced )eals* the ,ase their diet on an thing the can ,u that is cheap and fi lling+ Set ) So)e )a-e to)ato soup , adding hot water to the free pac-ets of -etchup the get at %c3onald1s+ 9thers ,u cans of cheap dog food and fr it li-e ha),urger+ Set B provides specific details6 instead of a general state)ent a,out /free food the find in fast'food restaurants and ta-e + + + ho)e to use however the can*0 we get a vivid detail we can see and picture clearl 6

/)a-e to)ato soup Ufro)V free pac-ets of -etchup+0 Instead of a general state)ent a,out how the poor will /,ase their diet on an thing the can ,u that is cheap and filling*0 we get e.act and vivid details6 /9thers ,u cans of cheap dog food and fr it li-e ha),urger+0 Specific details are often li-e the infor)ation we )ight find in a )ovie script+ The provide us with such clear pictures that we could )a-e a fil) of the) if we wanted to+ <ou would -now =ust how to fil) the infor)ation given in set B+ <ou would show a poor person ,rea-ing open a pac-et of -etchup fro) %c3onald1s and )i.ing it with water to )a-e a -ind of to)ato soup+ <ou would show so)eone opening a can of dog food and fr ing its contents li-e ha),urger+ In contrast* the writer of set A fails to provide the specifi c infor)ation needed+ If ou were as-ed to )a-e a fil) ,ased on set A* ou would have to figure out for ourself =ust what particulars ou were going to show+ When ou are wor-ing to provide specific supporting infor)ation in a paper* it )ight help to as- ourself* /Could so)eone easil fil) this infor)ation70 If the answer is / es*0 ou pro,a,l have good details+ Each topic sentence ,elow is followed , two sets of supporting details ?a and b@+ Write S ?for specifi c@ in the space ne.t to the set that provides specific support for the point+ Write & ?for general@ ne.t to the set that offers onl vague* general support+ 1+ Topic sentence1 % roo))ate is )ess + 1 " a+ (e doesn1t see) to )ind that he can1t find an clean clothes or dishes+ (e never puts an thing ,ac- in its proper place> he =ust drops it wherever he happens to ,e+ (is side of the roo) loo-s as if a hurricane has gone through+ ,+ (is coffee cup is covered inside with a thic- la er of green )old+ I can1t tell ou what color his eas chair is> it has disappeared under a pile of dirt laundr + When he turns over in ,ed* I can hear the crunch of crac-er cru),s ,eneath his ,od +

"+ Topic sentence1 Ro,erta is ver aggressive+ 1 a+ (er aggressiveness is apparent in ,oth her personal and her professional life+ She is never sh a,out e.tending social invitations+ And while so)e people are turned off , her aggressive attitude* others are i)pressed , it and en=o doing ,usiness with her+ ,+ When she )eets a )an she li-es* she is 5uic- to sa * /2et1s go out so)eti)e+ What1s our phone nu),er70 In her =o, as a furniture salesperson* she will follow potential custo)ers out onto the sidewal- as she tries to persuade the) to ,u +

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8+ Topic sentence1 9ur new -itten causes us lots of trou,le+ 1 " a+ (e has shredded the curtains in ) ,edroo) with his claws+ (e nearl drowned when he crawled into the washing )achine+ And ) hands loo- li-e raw ha),urger fro) his pla ful ,ites and scratches+ ,+ (e see)s to destro ever thing he touches+ (e1s alwa s getting into

places where he doesn1t ,elong+ So)eti)es he pla s too roughl * and that can ,e painful+ :+ Topic sentence1 % landlord is softhearted+ 1 " a+ Even though he wrote the) hi)self* he so)eti)es ignores the official apart)ent rules in order to )a-e his tenants happ + ,+ Although the lease states /Co pets*0 he ,rought ) daughter a pupp after she told hi) how )uch she )issed having one+

E+ Topic sentence1 The li,rar is a distracting place to tr to stud + a+ It1s hard to concentrate when a nois eight'person po-er ga)e is going on on the floor ,eside ou+ It1s also distracting to overhear re)ar-s li-e* /(e * Ba, * what1s our )other1s address7 I want to send her a than-' ou card for having such a ,eautiful daughter+0 Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ ,+ %an students )eet in the li,rar to do group activities and sociali4e with one another+ 9thers go there to flirt+ It1s eas to get )ore interested in all that activit than in pa ing attention to our studies+ N Recogni4ing SpeciFc 3etails6 II At several points in the following paragraphs* ou are given a choice of two sets of supporting details+ Write S ?for specifi c@ in the space ne.t to the set that provides specific support for the point+ Write & ?for general@ ne.t to the set that offers onl vague* general support+ Paragraph 2 % daughter1s ,o friend is a good'for'nothing oung )an+ After -nowing hi) for =ust three )onths* ever one in our fa)il is opposed to the relationship+ For one thing* Russell is la4 + 1 a+ (e is alwa s finding an e.cuse to avoid putting in an honest da 1s wor-+ (e never pitches in and helps with chores around our house* even when he1s as-ed directl to do so+ And his attitude a,out his =o, isn1t an ,etter+ To hear hi) tell it* he deserves special treat)ent in the wor-place+ (e thin-s he1s gone out of his wa if he =ust shows up on ti)e+ ,+ After starting a new =o, last wee-* he announced this %onda that he wasn1t going to wor- ,ecause it was his birthdayIas if he were so)e,od special+ And when ) hus,and as-ed Russell to help put stor) windows on the house ne.t Saturda * Russell answered that he uses his wee-ends to catch up on sleep+

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Another 5ualit of Russell1s which no one li-es is that he is cheap+ 1 c+ When ) daughter1s ,irthda ca)e around* Russell said he would ta-e her out to Baldoni1s* a fanc Italian restaurant+ Then he changed his )ind+ Instead of spending a lot of )one on a )eal* he said* he wanted to ,u her a reall nice

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pair of earrings+ So ) daughter coo-ed dinner for hi) at her apart)ent+ But there was no present* not even a little one+ (e clai)s he1s waiting for a =ewelr sale at %ac 1s+ I don1t thin- ) daughter will ever see that /reall nice0 gift+ d+ (e )a-es ,ig pro)ises a,out all the nice things he1s going to do for ) daughter* ,ut he never co)es through+ (is words are cheap* and so is he+ (e1s all tal- and no action+ % daughter isn1t greed * ,ut it hurts her when Russell sa s he1s going to ta-e her so)eplace nice or give her so)ething special and then nothing happens+

Worst of all* Russell is )ean+ 1 e+ Russell see)s to get special pleasure fro) hurting people when he feels the have a wea- point+ I have heard hi) )a-e re)ar-s that to hi) were funn ,ut were reall ver insensitive+ <ou1ve got to wonder a,out so)eone who needs to ,e ugl to other people =ust for the sa-e of ,eing powerful+ So)eti)es I want to let hi) -now how I feel+ f+ When ) hus,and was out of wor-* Russell said to hi)* /Well* ou1ve got it )ade now* living off our wife+0 After ) hus,and glared at hi)* he said* /Wh 1re ou getting sore7 I1) =ust -idding+0 So)eti)es he snaps at ) daughter* sa ing things li-e /3on1t )a-e )e waitIthere are plent of other ,a,es who would li-e to ta-e our place+0 At such ti)es I want to toss hi) out to the cur,+ Ever one in the fa)il is waiting an.iousl for the da when ) daughter will see Russell the wa the rest of us see hi)+ Paragraph 2 %an adult children )ove ,ac- in with their parents for so)e period of ti)e+ Although living with %o) and 3ad again has so)e advantages* there are certain pro,le)s that are li-el to arise+ 9ne co))on pro,le) is that children )a e.pect their parents to do all the household chores+ 1 a+ The never thin- that the should ta-e on their share of wor- around the house+ Cot onl do the not help with their parents1 chores> the don1t even ta-e responsi,ilit for the e.tra wor- that their presence creates+ 2i-e ,a,ies* the go through the house )a-ing a )ess that the parents are supposed to clean up+ It1s as if the thin- their parents are their servants+ ,+ The e.pect )eals to appear on the ta,le as if , )agic+ After the 1ve eaten* the go off to wor- or pla * never thin-ing a,out who1s going to do the dishes+ The drop their dirt laundr ,eside the washing )achine* assu)ing that %o) or 3ad will attend to it and return clean* folded clothes to their ,edroo) door+ And spea-ing of their ,edroo)s6 ever da the await the arrival of %o)1s %aid Service to )a-e the ,ed* pic- up the floor* and dust the furniture+ Another fre5uent pro,le) is that parents forget their adult children are no longer adolescents+ c+ Parents li-e this want to -now ever thing a,out their adult children1s lives+ The don1t thin- their -ids* even though the are adults* should have an privac + Whenever the see their children

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doing an thing* the want to -now all the details+ It1s as though their children are still teenagers who are e.pected to report all their activities+ Caturall * adult children get irritated when the are treated as if the were little -ids+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ d+ The )a insist upon -nowing far )ore a,out their children1s co)ings and goings than the children want to share+ For e.a)ple* if such parents see their adult son heading out the door* the de)and to -now6 /Where are ou going7 Who will ou ,e with7 What will ou ,e doing7 What ti)e will ou ,e ,ac-70 In addition* the )a not let their adult child have an privac + If their daughter and a date are sitting in the living roo)* for instance* the )a =oin the) there and start peppering the oung )an with 5uestions a,out his fa)il and his =o,* as if the were interviewing hi) for the position of son'in'law+ Finall * there )a ,e financial pro,le)s when an adult child returns to live at ho)e+ 1 e+ (aving an e.tra adult in the household creates e.tra e.penses+ But )an adult children don1t offer to help deal with those e.tra costs+ Adult chil dren often eat at ho)e* causing the grocer ,ill to cli),+ The )a sta in a for)erl unused roo)* which now needs to ,e heated and lit+ The produce e.tra laundr to ,e washed+ The use the telephone* adding to the long'distance ,ill+ For all these reasons* adult children should e.pect to pa a reasona,le fee to their parents for roo) and ,oard+ f+ It1s e.pensive to have another adult living in the household+ Adult children would ,e pa ing a lot of ,ills on their own if the weren1t sta ing with their parents+ It1s onl fair that the share the e.penses at their parents1 house+ The should consider all the wa s that their living at ho)e is increasing their parents1 e.penses+ Then the should insist on covering their share of the costs+

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$ Providing Supporting Evidence Provide three details that logicall support each of the following points* or topic sentences+ <our details can ,e drawn fro) our own e.perience* or the can ,e invented+ In each case* the details should show in a specific wa what the point e.presses in onl a general wa + <ou )a state our details ,riefl in phrases* or as co)plete sentences+ !AMP" The student had several wa s of passing ti)e during the dull lecture+ Shielded his eyes with his hand and do"ed awhile+ #ead the sports ma a"ine he had brou ht to class+

Made an elaborate drawin on a pa e o$ his notebook + 1+ I could tell I was co)ing down with the fl u+ 1 " 8 : The food at the cafeteria was terri,le esterda + I had car pro,le)s recentl + When our )one gets tight* there are several wa s to econo)i4e+ So)e people have dangerous driving ha,its+

R Identif ing Ade5uate Supporting Evidence Two of the following paragraphs provide sufficient details to support their topic sentences convincingl + Write A3* for ade0uate development, ,eside those paragraphs+ There are also three paragraphs that* for the )ost part* use vague* general* or word sentences as a su,stitute for concrete details+ Write ;* for under developed, ,eside those paragraphs+ 1+ My (usband&s Stubbornness % hus,and1s worst pro,le) is his stu,,ornness+ (e si)pl will not let an -ind of wea-ness show+ If he isn1t feeling well* he refuses to ad)it it+ (e will -eep on doing whatever he is doing and will wait until the s )pto)s get al)ost un,eara,le ,efore he will even hint that an thing is the )atter with hi)+ Then things are so far along that he has to spend )ore ti)e recovering Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ than he would if he had a different attitude+ (e also hates to ,e wrong+ If he is wrong* he will ,e the last to ad)it it+ This happened once when we went shopping* and he spent an endless a)ount of ti)e going fro) one place to the ne.t+ (e insisted that one of the) had a fantastic sale on things he wanted+ We never found a sale* ,ut the fact that this situation happened will not change his attitude+ Finall * he never listens to an one else1s suggestions on a car trip+ (e alwa s -nows he1s on the right road* and the results have led to a lot of ti)e wasted getting ,ac- in the right direction+ Ever ti)e one of these incidents happens* it onl )eans that it is going to happen again in the future+ "+ ,angerous .ames Because the feel co)pelled to show off in front of their friends* so)e teenagers pla dangerous ga)es+ In one incident* police found a group of ,o s perfor)ing a dangerous stunt with their cars+ The ,o s would perch on the hoods of cars going thirt 'Fve or fort )iles an hour+ Then the driver would ,ra-e sharpl * and the ,o who Few the farthest off the car would win+ Teenagers also drive their cars with the

lights off and pass each other on hills or curves as wa s of challenging each other+ In addition to cars* water see)s to te)pt oung people to invent dangerous contests+ So)e students dared each other to swi) through a narrow pipe under a four'lane highwa + The pipe carried water fro) a strea) to a pond* and the swi))er would have to hold his or her ,reath for several )inutes ,efore co)ing out on the other side+ Another contest involved diving off the roc- sides of a 5uarr + Because large stones sat under the water in certain places* an dive could result in a ,ro-en nec-+ But the students would egg each other on to go /roc- diving+0 Pla ing deadl ga)es li-e these is a horrif ing phase of growing up for so)e teenagers+ 8+ Attitudes to0ard *ood As children* we for) attitudes toward food that are not easil changed+ In so)e fa)ilies* food is love+ Cot all fa)ilies are li-e this* ,ut so)e children grow up with this attitude+ So)e fa)ilies thin- of food as so)ething precious and not to ,e wasted+ The attitudes children pic- up a,out food are hard to change in adulthood+ So)e fa)ilies cele,rate with food+ If a child learns an attitude* it is hard to ,rea- this later+ So)eone once said6 /As the twig is ,ent* so grows the tree+0 Children are ver i)pressiona,le* and the can1t reall thin- for the)selves when the are s)all+ Children learn fro) the parent Fgures in their lives* and later fro) their peers+ So)e fa)ilies have health attitudes a,out food+ It is i)portant for adults to teach their children these health attitudes+ 9therwise* the children )a have weight pro,le)s when the are adults+ :+ 3ualities in a *riend There are several 5ualities I loo- for in a friend+ A friend should give support and securit + A friend should also ,e fun to ,e around+ Friends can have faults* li-e an one else* and so)eti)es it is hard to overloothe)+ But a friend can1t ,e dropped ,ecause he or she has faults+ A friend should stic- to ou* even in ,ad ti)es+ There is a sa ing that /a friend in need is a friend indeed+0 I ,elieve this )eans that there are good friends and fair'weather friends+ The second t pe is not a true friend+ (e or she is the -ind of person who runs when there1s trou,le+ Friends don1t alwa s last a lifeti)e+ So)e'one ou ,elieved to ,e our ,est friend )a lose contact with ou if ou )ove to a different area or go around with a different group of people+ A friend should ,e generous and understanding+ A friend does not have to ,e e.actl li-e ou+ So)eti)es friends are opposites* ,ut the still li-e each other and get along+ Since I a) a ver 5uiet person* I can1t sa that I have )an friends+ But these are the 5ualities I ,elieve a friend should have+ E+ An Unsa/e Pla-e We pla touch foot,all on an unsafe Feld+ First of all* the grass on the Feld is seldo) )owed+ The result is that we have to run through tangled weeds that wrap around our an-les li-e trip wires+ The tall grass

also hides so)e gaping holes lur-ing ,eneath+ The ,est pla ers -now the e.act positions of all the holes and )anage to detour around the) li-e soldiers 4ig4agging across a )ineFeld+ %ost of us* though* endure at least one sprained an-le per ga)e+ Another danger is the old ,ase,all inFeld that we use as the last twent ards of our gridiron+ This area is covered with stones and ,ro-en glass+ Co )atter how often we clean it up* we can never -eep pace with the ,ro-en ,ottles hurled on the Feld , the teenagers we call the /night shift+0 These people apparentl hold drin-ing parties ever night in the a,andoned dugout and en=o throwing the e)pties out on the F eld+ 3uring ever ga)e* we tr to avoid falling on especiall ,ig chun-s of Budweiser ,ottles+ Finall * encircling the entire Feld is an old* rust chain'lin- fence full of tears and holes+ Being sla))ed into the fence during the pla can )ean a painful sta,,ing , the =agged wires+ All these dangers have )ade us less afraid of opposing tea)s than of the Feld where we pla + 1# Adding 3etails to Co)plete a Paragraph Each of the following paragraphs needs specific details to ,ac- up its supporting points+ In the spaces provided* add a sentence or two of realistic details for each supporting point+ The )ore specific ou are* the )ore convincing our details are li-el to ,e+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ 1+ A Pusho1er Instru-tor We -new after the Frst few classes that the instructor was a pushover+ First of all* he didn1t see) a,le to control the class+ In addition* he )ade so)e course re5uire)ents easier when a few students co)plained+

"+ (elping a Parent in College There are several wa s a fa)il can help a parent who is attending college+ First* fa)il )e),ers can ta-e over so)e of the household chores that the parent usuall does+ Finall * he gave the easiest 5ui4 we had ever ta-en+

Also* fa)il )e),ers can )a-e sure that the student has so)e 5uiet stud ti)e+

2ast* fa)ilies can ta-e an interest in the student1s pro,le)s and acco)plish)ents+ 11 Writing a Si)ple Paragraph <ou -now now that an effective paragraph does two essential things6 ?1@ it )a-es a point* and ?"@ it provides specific details to support that point+ <ou have considered a nu),er of paragraphs that are effective ,ecause the follow these two ,asic steps or ineffective ,ecause the fail to follow the)+ <ou are read * then* to write a si)ple paragraph of our own+ Choose one of the three assign)ents ,elow* and follow carefull the guidelines provided+ Turn ,ac- to the activit on page NH and select the point for which ou have the ,est supporting details+ 3evelop that point into a paragraph , following these steps6 1 a+ If necessar * rewrite the point so that the first sentence is )ore specifi c or suits our purpose )ore e.actl + For e.a)ple* ou )ight want to rewrite the second point so that it includes a specific ti)e and place6 /3inner at the ;nion Building Cafeteria was terri,le esterda +0 ,+ Provide several sentences of infor)ation to develop each of our three sup porting details full + %a-e sure that all the infor)ation in our paragraph trul supports our point+ c+ ;se the words %irst of all, #econd, and %inally to introduce our three sup porting details+ d+ Conclude our paragraph with a sentence that refers to our opening point+ This last sentence /rounds off0 the paragraph and lets the reader -now that our discussion is co)plete+ For e.a)ple* the paragraph /Changes in the Fa)il 0 on page :N ,egins with /Changes in our societ in recent ears have wea-ened fa)il life+0 It closes with a state)ent that refers to* and echoes* the opening point6 /Clearl * )odern life is a challenge to fa)il life+0 e+ Suppl a title ,ased on our point+ For instance* point : on page NH )ight have the title /Wa s to Econo)i4e+0

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8 :

;se the following list to chec- our paragraph for each of the a,ove ite)s6 4 S #$ 3o ou ,egin with a point7 3o ou provide relevant* specific details that support the point7 3o ou use the words %irst of all, #econd, and %inally to

introduce our three supporting details7 3o ou have a closing sentence7 4 S #$ 3o ou have a title ,ased on our point7 Are our sentences clear and free of o,vious errors7

In this chapter ou have read two paragraphs ?pages E1PE8@ on reasons for ,eing in college+ For this assign)ent* write a paragraph descri,ing our own reasons for ,eing in college+ <ou )ight want to loo- fi rst at the following list of co))on reasons students give for going to school+ Write a chec- )ar- ne.t to each reason that applies to ou+ If ou have different reasons for ,eing in college that are not listed here* add the) to the list+ Then select our three )ost i)portant reasons for ,eing in school and generate specific supporting details for each reason+ Before starting* reread paragraph A on page H#+ .ou must provide comparable specific details of your own. %a-e our paragraph trul personal> do not fall ,acon vague generalities li-e those in paragraph B on page H1+ As ou wor- on our paragraph* use the chec-list for Writing Assign)ent 1 as a guide+ APP"4 I# M4 CAS 5easons Students .o to College To have so)e fun ,efore getting a =o, To prepare for a specific career To please their fa)ilies To educate and enrich the)selves To ,e with friends who are going to college To ta-e advantage of an opportunit the didn1t have ,efore To find a hus,and or wife To see if college has an thing to offer the) To do )ore with their lives than the 1ve done so far To ta-e advantage of Keterans Ad)inistration ,enefits or other special funding To earn the status that the feel co)es with a college degree To get a new start in life 9ther6 Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Write a paragraph a,out stress in our life+ Choose three of the following stressful areas and provide specific e.a)ples and details to develop each area+ Stress at school Stress at worStress at ho)e Stress with a friend or friends

;se the chec-list for Writing Assign)ent 1 as a guide while ou are wor-ing on the paragraph+ The Third Step in Writing : !ook at this photograph and write a paragraph in which you tell a new college student how to study for an important e+am. 4nce you have read through Chapter 8, read your paragraph again. 9id you use ti)e order* e)phatic order* or a combination of both to organi5e your paragraph? www+)hhe+co)Dlangan <ou -now fro) Chapter 8 that the first two steps in writing an effective paragraph are )a-ing a point and supporting the point with specifi c evidence+ This chapter will deal with the third step+ <ou1ll learn the chief wa s to organi4e and connect the supporting infor)ation in a paper+

Step 86 9rgani4e and Connect the SpeciF c Evidence At the sa)e ti)e that ou are generating the specific details needed to support a point* ou should ,e thin-ing a,out wa s to organi4e and connect those details+ All the details in our paper )ust cohere, or stic- together> when the do* our reader will ,e a,le to )ove s)oothl fro) one ,it of supporting infor)ation to the ne.t+ This chapter will discuss the following wa s to organi4e and connect supporting details6 ?1@ co))on )ethods of organi4ation* ?"@ transition words* and ?8@ other connecting words+ Co))on %ethods of 9rgani4ation6 Ti)e 9rder and E)phatic 9rder Ti)e order and e)phatic order are co))on )ethods used to organi4e the supporting )aterial in a paper+ ?<ou will learn )ore speciali4ed )ethods of develop)ent in Part Two of the ,oo-+@ Time order si)pl )eans that details are listed as the occur in ti)e+ %irst this is done> ne+t this> then this> after that* this> and so on+ (ere is a paragraph that organi4es its details through ti)e order+ (o0 I 5ela6 The wa I rela. when I get ho)e fro) school on Thursda night is* F rst of all* to put ) three children to ,ed+ Ce.t* I run hot water in the tu, and put in lots of scented ,u,,le ,ath+ As the ,u,,les rise* I undress and get into the tu,+ The water is rela.ing to ) tired )uscles* and the ,u,,les are tingl on ) s-in+ I lie ,ac- and put ) feet on the water spigots* with ever thing ,ut ) head under the water+ I li-e to stic- ) ,ig toe up the spigot and spra water over the tu,+ After a,out ten )inutes of soa-ing* I wash ) self with scented soap* get out and dr ) self off* and put on ) nightgown+ Then I go

downstairs and )a-e ) self a ha)* lettuce* and to)ato sandwich on r e ,read and pour ) self a tall glass of iced tea with plent of sugar and ice cu,es+ I carr these into the living roo) and turn on the television+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ To get co)forta,le* I sit on the couch with a pillow ,ehind )e and ) legs under )e+ I en=o watching The 3ail Show or a late )ovie+ The ti)e is ver peaceful after a long* hard da of housecleaning* coo-ing* washing* and attending night class+ %ill in the missing words1 /(ow I rela.0 uses the following words to help show ti)e order6 * * * * and + "mphatic order is so)eti)es descri,ed as /save'the',est'1til'last0 order+ It )eans that the )ost interesting or i)portant detail is placed in the last part of a paper+ ?In cases where all details see) e5ual in i)portance* the writer should i)pose a personal order that see)s logical or appropriate to the details+@ The last position in a paper is the )ost e)phatic position ,ecause the reader is )ost li-el to re)e),er the last thing read+ %inally, last of all, and most important are t pical words and phrases showing e)phasis+ The following paragraph organi4es its details through e)phatic order+ The #ational n7uirer There are several reasons wh the Cational En5uirer is so popular+ First of all* the paper is advertised on television+ In the ads* attractive'loo-ing people sa * with a s)ile* /I want to -nowB0 as the scan the pages of the En5uirer+ The ads reassure people that it1s all right to want to read stories such as /(eart,rea- for Jennifer 2ope40 or /Prince1s FiancTe in Cew Ro al Topless Scandal+0 In addition* the paper is easil availa,le+ In super)ar-ets* convenience stores* and drugstores* the En5uirer is alwa s displa ed in rac-s close to the cash register+ As custo)ers wait in line* the can1t help ,eing attracted to the paper1s glaring headlines+ Then* on i)pulse* custo)ers will add the paper to their other purchases+ %ost of all* people read the En5uirer ,ecause the love gossip+ We Fnd other people1s lives fascinating* especiall if those people are rich and fa)ous+ We want to see and read a,out their ho)es* their clothes* and their friends* lovers* and fa)ilies+ We also ta-e a -ind of )ean delight in their unFattering photos and pro,le)s and )ista-es* perhaps ,ecause we env the)+ Even though we )a ,e asha)ed of our interest* it1s hard to resist ,u ing a paper that pro)ises /The For,idden 2ove of Paris (ilton0 or /Fil) Star Who Cow 2oo-s 2i-e a Cadaver0 or even /(oll wood Star Wars6 Who (ates Who) and Wh +0 The En5uirer -nows how to get us interested and )a-e us ,u + %ill in the missing words1 The paragraph lists a total of different reasons people read the :ational "n0uirer. The writer of the paragraph feels that the )ost i)portant reason is + (e or she signals this reason , using the e)phasis words + So)e paragraphs use a combination of time order and emphatic order. For e.a)ple* /&ood'B e* Ton 0 on page E# includes ti)e order6 it )oves fro) the ti)e Ton arrived to the end of the evening+ In addition* the writer uses e)phatic order* ending with

her )ost i)portant reason ?signaled , the words most of all; for not wanting to date Ton an )ore+ Transitions 2oo- at the following ite)s+ Then chec- ?@ the one that is easier to read and understand+ 9ur landlord repainted our apart)ent+ (e replaced the dishwasher+ 9ur landlord repainted our apart)ent+ Also* he replaced the dishwasher+ <ou pro,a,l found the second ite) easier to understand+ The word also )a-es it clear that the writer is adding a second wa the landlord has ,een of help+ Transitions, or transition words, are signal words that help readers follow the direction of the writer1s thoughts+ The show the relationship ,etween ideas* connecting thoughts+ The are /,ridge0 words* carr ing the reader across fro) one idea to the ne.t+

Two )a=or t pes of transitions are of particular help when ou write6 words that show addition and words that show time. )ords That #how 'ddition Chec- ?@ the ite) that is easier to read and understand+ 1+ a+ A drin-ing pro,le) can destro a person1s life+ It can tear a fa)il apart+ ,+ A drin-ing pro,le) can destro a person1s life+ In addition* it can tear a fa)il apart+ www+)hhe+co)Dlangan Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ "+ a+ 9ne wa to lose friends is alwa s to tal- and never to listen+ A wa to end friendships is to ,orrow )one and never pa it ,ac-+ ,+ 9ne wa to lose friends is alwa s to tal- and never to listen+ Another wa to end friendships is to ,orrow )one and never pa it ,ac-+ In the pair of sentences a,out a drin-ing pro,le)* the words In addition help )a-e the relationship ,etween the two sentences clear+ The author is descri,ing two effects of a drin-ing pro,le)6 it can destro a life and a fa)il + In addition, another, and words li-e these are -nown as addition 0ords8 In the pair of sentences a,out losing friends* ou pro,a,l found the second ite) easier to understand+ The word 'nother )a-es it clear that the writer is descri,ing a second wa to lose friends+ Addition words signal added ideas+ The help writers organi4e infor)ation and present it clearl to readers+ So)e co))on words that show addition are listed in the following ,o.6

Addition %ords
one rst rst of all for one thing to begin with another second also in addition next last (of all) nally

)ords That #how Time

Chec- ?@ the ite) that is easier to read and understand+ 1+ a+ I had ,lood wor- done+ I went to the doctor+ ,+ I had ,lood wor- done+ Then I went to the doctor+ The word Then in the second ite) )a-es clear the relationship ,etween the sentences+ After having ,lood wor- done* the writer goes to the doctor+ Then and words li-e it are time 0ords, which carr the reader fro) one idea to the ne.t+ (ere are so)e )ore pairs of sentences+ Chec- ? @ the ite) in each pair that contains a ti)e word and so is easier to read and understand+ "+ a+ Ever wee- ) uncle studies the food ads to see which stores have the ,est specials+ (e clips all the coupons+ ,+ Ever wee- ) uncle studies the food ads to see which stores have the ,est specials+ Ce.t* he clips all the coupons+ a+ Car)en too- a ver long shower+ There was no hot water left for an one else in the house+ ,+ Car)en too- a ver long shower+ After that* there was no hot water left for an one else in the house+ In the pair of sentences a,out the uncle* the word :e+t helps )a-e the relationship ,etween the two sentences clear+ The uncle studies ads* and then he clips coupons+ In the second pair of sentences* the word after )a-es the relationship clear6 after Car)en1s long shower* there was no hot water left for an one else+ Ti)e words tell us when so)ething happened in relation to when so)ething else happened+ The help writers organi4e and )a-e clear the order of events* stages* and steps in a process+ Below are so)e co))on words that show ti)e+ 1+ Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate addition transition fro) the list that follows+ ;se each transition once+ another fi nall one

8+

www+)hhe+co)Dlangan

"+ Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate ti)e transition fro) the list that follows+ ;se each transition once+

then fi
Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+

ne.t rst after

,efore

I do not li-e to write+ In fact* I disli-e writing so )uch that I have developed a series of steps for postponing the agon of doing writing assign)ents+ I tell ) self that to proceed without the proper e5uip)ent would ,e unwise+ So I go out to ,u a new pen* and this -ills at least an hour+ * I ,egin to stare at the ,lan- page+ long* however* I reali4e that writing )a also re5uire thought* so I ,egin to thindeepl a,out ) su,=ect+ Soon I feel drows + This naturall leads to the conclusion that I need a nap ,ecause I can1t throw ) self into ) writing until I a) at ) ver ,est+ a refreshing nap* I again face the ,lan- page+ It is usuall at this stage that I actuall write a sentence or twoIdisappointing ones+ I wisel decide that I need inspiration* perhaps fro) an interesting )aga4ine or ) new SBo. ga)e+ If I feel a ,it guilt * I co)fort ) self with the -nowledge that* as an artist -nows* ou can1t rush these things+

8+ ;nderline the three addition signals in the following paragraph6

I a) opposed to state'supported lotteries for a nu),er of reasons+ First of all* , supporting lotteries* states are supporting ga),ling+ I don1t see an thing )orall wrong with ga),ling* ,ut it is a -nown cause of suffering for )an people who do it to e.cess+ The state should ,e concerned with relieving suffering* not causing it+ Another o,=ection I have to state lotteries is the -ind of advertising the do on television+ The co))ercials pro)ote the lotteries as an eas wa to get rich+ In fact* the odds against getting rich are astrono)ical+ 2ast* the lotteries ta-e advantage of the people who can least afford the)+ Studies have shown that people with lower inco)es are )ore li-el to pla the lotter than people with higher inco)es+ This is the harshest realit of the lotteries6 the state is encouraging people of li)ited )eans not to save their )one ,ut to throw it awa on a state'supported pipe drea)+

:+ ;nderline the four time signals in the following paragraph6

4ther <inds of Transitions

In the following ,o. are other co))on transitional words* grouped according to the -ind of signal the give readers+ In the paragraphs ou write* ou will )ost often use addition words ?li-e first, also, another, and fi nally@* ,ut all of the following signals are helpful to -now as well+ 1+ ;nderline the three space signals in the following paragraph6

"+ ;nderline the four change7of7direction signals in the following paragraph6

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In so)e wa s* train travel is superior to air travel+ People alwa s )arvel at the speed with which airplanes can 4ip fro) one end of the countr to another+ Trains* on the other hand* deFnitel ta-e longer+ But so)eti)es longer can ,e ,etter+ Traveling across the countr , train allows ou to e.perience the trip )ore co)pletel + <ou get to see the cities and towns* )ountains and prairies that too often pass , unnoticed when ou F + Another advantage of train travel is co)fort+ Traveling , plane )eans wedging ourself into a narrow seat with our -nees ,u)ping the ,ac- of the seat in front of ou and* if ou1re luc- * ,eing handed a /snac-0 consisting of a ,ag of pret4els+ In contrast* the seats on )ost trains are spacious and co)forta,le* per)itting even the longest'legged traveler to stretch out and watch the scener =ust outside the window+ And when train travelers grow hungr * the can get up and stroll to the dining car* where the can order an thing fro) a si)ple snac- to a full )eal+ There1s no 5uestion that train travel is deFnitel slow and old'fashioned co)pared with air travel+ (owever* in )an wa s it is )uch )ore civili4ed+

8+ ;nderline the three illustration signals in the following selection6

Status s ),ols are all around us+ The cars we drive* for instance* sa so)ething a,out who we are and how successful we have ,een+ The auto )a-ers depend on this perception of auto)o,iles* designing their co))ercials to show older* well'esta,lished people driving lu.ur sedans and oung* fun'loving people driving to the ,each in sports cars+ Clothing* too* has alwa s ,een a status s ),ol+ SpeciFcall * schoolchildren are often rated , their class)ates according to the ,rand na)es of their clothing+ Another e.a)ple of a status s ),ol is the cell phone+ This device* not so long ago considered a novelt * is now used , al)ost ever one+ Being without a cell phone in the twent 'Frst centur is li-e ,eing without a regular phone in the 1RR#s+

:+ ;nderline the conclusion signal in the following paragraph6

www+)hhe+co)Dlangan

A hundred ears ago* )iners used to ,ring caged canaries down into the )ines with the) to act as warning signals+ If the ,ird died* the )iners -new that the o. gen was running out+ The s)aller ani)al would ,e affected )uch )ore 5uic-l than the )iners+ In the sa)e wa * ani)als are acting as warning signals to us toda + Ba, ,irds die ,efore the can hatch ,ecause pesticides in the environ)ent cause the adults to la eggs with paper'thin shells+ Fish die when la-es are conta)inated with acid rain or poisonous )ercur + The dangers in our environ)ent will eventuall affect all life on earth* including hu)ans+ Therefore* we )ust pa attention to these earl warning signals+ If we don1t* we will ,e as foolish as a )iner who ignored a dead canar Iand we will die+

9ther Connecting Words

In addition to transitions* there are three other -inds of connecting words that help tie together the

specific evidence in a paper6 repeated words, pronouns, and synonyms.

,epeated )ords
%an of us have ,een taught , English instructorsIcorrectl soInot to repeat ourselves in our writing+ 9n the other hand* repeating -e words can help tie ideas together+ In the paragraph that follows* the word retirement is repeated to re)ind readers of the -e idea on which the discussion is centered+ ;nderline the word the five ti)es it appears+
9ddl enough* retire)ent can pose )ore pro,le)s for a ho)e)a-er than for his or her retiring spouse+ For a person who has ,een accusto)ed to a de)anding =o,* retire)ent can )ean frustration and a feeling of uselessness+ This feeling will put pressure on the sta 'at' ho)e spouse to provide challenges e5ual to those of the wor-place+ 9ften* these tas-s will disrupt the ho)e)a-er1s well'esta,lished routine+ Another pro,le) arising fro) retire)ent is Flling up all those e)pt hours+ The spouse of a retired person )a Fnd hi)self or herself in the role of social director or tour guide* e.pected to co)e up with a new for) of a)use)ent ever da + Without sufFcient challenges or leisure activities* a person can ,eco)e irrita,le and ta-e out the resulting ,oredo) and frustration of retire)ent on the ho)e)a-er+ It is no wonder that )an of these partners wish their spouses would co)e out of retire)ent and do so)ethingIan thingI=ust to get out of the house+
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$ronouns
Pronouns ?he, she, it, you, they, this, that, and others@ are another wa to connect ideas as ou develop a paper+ ;sing pronouns to ta-e the place of other words or ideas can help ou avoid needless repetition+ ?Be sure* though* to use pronouns with care in order to avoid the unclear or inconsistent pronoun references descri,ed in Chapters "$ and "R of this ,oo-+@ ;nderline the eight pronouns in the passage that follows* noting at the sa)e ti)e the words that the pronouns refer to+
A professor of nutrition at a )a=or universit recentl advised his students that the could do ,etter on their e.a)inations , eating lots of sweets+ (e told the) that the sugar in ca-es and cand would sti)ulate their ,rains to wor- )ore efFcientl * and that if the sugar was eaten for onl a )onth or two* it would not do the) an har)+

#ynonyms
;sing synonyms=words that are ali-e in )eaningIcan also help )ove the reader fro) one thought to the ne.t+ In addition* the use of s non )s increases variet and interest , avoiding needless repetition of the sa)e words+ ;nderline the three words used as s non )s for false ideas in the following passage+
There are )an false ideas a,out suicide+ 9ne wrong idea is that a person who tal-s a,out suicide never follows through+ The truth is that a,out three out of ever four people who co))it suicide notif one or )ore other persons ahead of ti)e+ Another )isconception is that a person who co))its suicide is poor or downtrodden+ Actuall * povert appears to ,e a deterrent to suicide rather than a predisposing factor+ A third ) th a,out suicide is that people ,ent on suicide will eventuall ta-e their lives one wa or another* whether or not the )ost o,vious )eans of suicide is re)oved fro) their reach+ In fact* since an atte)pt at suicide is often a -ind of cr for help* re)oving a convenient )eans of ta-ing one1s life*

such as a gun* shows people ,ent on suicide that so)eone cares enough a,out the) to tr to prevent it+

Read the selection ,elow and then answer the 5uestions a,out it that follow+ 8

First* even though I had paid ) registration fee earl last spring* the people at the
: E

,ursar1s ofFce had no record of ) pa )ent+ And for so)e ,i4arre reason* the wouldn1t accept the receipt I had+ Conse5uentl * I had to stand in line for two hours* waiting for so)eone to give )e a slip of paper which stated that I had* in fact* paid ) registration fee+ The need for this new receipt see)ed ludicrous to )e* since all along I had proof that I had paid+ I was ne.t told that I had to see ) adviser in the 2aw and Justice 3epart)ent and that the depart)ent was in Corridor C of the Triad Building+ I had no idea what or where the Triad was+ But* Fnall * I found ) wa to the ugl gra ' white ,uilding+
1# R $ N H

Then I ,egan loo-ing for Corridor C+

1" 18

11

When I found it* ever one there

was a )e),er of the Co))unications 3epart)ent+ 2aw and Justice had gone+ in Corridor A+ answered+
1H 1:

Co one see)ed to -now where /I don1t -now*0 the teacher

1$

Finall * one instructor said she thought 2aw and Justice was
1E 1N

/And where is Corridor A70 I as-ed+

/I1) new here+0

1R

She saw the ,ewildered loo- on ) face and said I nodded and wal-ed

s )patheticall * /<ou1re not the onl one who1s confused+0

nu),l awa + I felt as if I were fated to spend the rest of the se)ester tr ing to co)plete the registration process* and I wondered if I would ever ,eco)e an ofFcial college student+ 3uestions 1 " 8 (ow )an ti)es is the -e word registration used7 Write here the pronoun that is used for people at the bursar s office ?sentence :@6 > Corridor C ?sentence 11@6 > instructor ?sentence 1N@6 + Write here the words that are used as a s non ) for receipt ?sentence E@6 the words that are used as a s non ) for Triad ?sentence R@6

the word that is used as a s non ) for instructor ?sentence 1E@6 Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Practice in 9rgani4ing and Connecting SpeciF c Evidence <ou now -now the third step in effective writing6 organi4ing and connecting the specific

evidence used to support the )ain point of a paper+ This closing section will e.pand and strengthen our understanding of the third step in writing+ <ou will wor- through the following series of activities6 A A A A A 9rgani4ing through Ti)e 9rder 9rgani4ing through E)phatic 9rder 9rgani4ing through a Co),ination of Ti)e 9rder and E)phatic 9rder Identif ing Transitions Identif ing Transitions and 9ther Connecting Words

9rgani4ing through Ti)e 9rder ;se ti)e order to organi4e the scra),led list of sentences ,elow+ Write the nu),er > ,eside the point that all the other sentences support+ Then nu),er each supporting sentence as it occurs in ti)e+ The ta,le is right near the gar,age can+ So ou reluctantl select a glue'li-e tuna'fish sandwich* a crushed apple pie* and water * lu-ewar) coffee+ <ou sit at the edge of the ta,le* awa fro) the gar,age can* and gulp down our )eal+ Tr ing to eat in the cafeteria is an unpleasant e.perience+ Suddenl ou spot a free ta,le in the center+ With a last swallow of the lu-ewar) coffee* ou get up and leave the cafeteria as rapidl as possi,le+ Flies are flitting into and out of the thrash+ B the ti)e it is our turn* the few things that are al)ost good are gone+ There does not see) to ,e a free ta,le an where+ ;nfortunatel * there is a line in the cafeteria+ The hoagies* coconut'custard pie* and iced tea have all disappeared+ <ou hold our tra and loo- for a place to sit down+ <ou have a class in a few )inutes* and so ou run in to gra, so)ething to eat 5uic-l +

9rgani4ing through E)phatic 9rder ;se e)phatic order ?order of i)portance@ to arrange the following scra),led list of sentences+ Write the nu),er > ,eside the point that all the other sentences support+ Then

nu),er each supporting sentence* starting with what see)s to ,e the least i)portant detail and ending with the )ost i)portant detail+ The people here are all around ) age and see) to ,e genuinel friendl and interested in )e+ The place where I live has several i)portant advantages+ The schools in this neigh,orhood have a good reputation* so I feel that ) daughter is getting a good education+ The ,est thing of all a,out this area* though* is the school s ste)+ Therefore* I don1t have to put up with pu,lic transportation or worr a,out how )uch it1s going to cost to par- each da + The school also has an e.tended da 'care progra)* so I -now ) daughter is in good hands until I co)e ho)e fro) wor-+ First of all* I li-e the people who live in the other apart)ents near )ine+ Another positive aspect of this area is that it1s close to where I wor-+ That1s )ore than I can sa for the last place I lived* where people sta ed ,ehind loc-ed doors+ Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ The office where I1) a receptionist is onl a si.',loc- wal- fro) ) house+ In addition* I save a lot of wear and tear on ) car+ 9rgani4ing through a Co),ination of Ti)e 9rder and E)phatic 9rder ;se a co),ination of ti)e and e)phatic order to arrange the scra),led list of sentences ,elow+ Write the nu),er > ,eside the point that all the other sentences support+ Then nu),er each supporting sentence+ Pa ing close attention to transitional words and phrases will help ou organi4e and connect the supporting sentences+ I did not see the spider ,ut visited ) friend in the hospital* where he suffered through a wee- of nausea and di44iness ,ecause of the poison+ We were listening to the radio when we discovered that nature was calling+ As I got ,ac- into the car* I sensed* rather than felt or saw* a presence on ) left hand+ After these two e.periences* I suspect that ) fear of spiders will ,e with )e

until I die+ The first e.perience was the ti)e when ) ,est friend received a ,ite fro) a ,lacwidow spider+ I loo-ed down at ) hand* ,ut I could not see an thing ,ecause it was so dar-+ I had two e.periences when I was si.teen that are the cause of ) arachnophobia, a terri,le and uncontrolla,le fear of spiders+ We stopped the car at the side of the road* wal-ed into the woods a few feet* and watered the leaves+ % friend then entered the car* putting on the dash,oard light* and I al)ost passed out with horror+ I saw the ,andage on his hand and the puff swelling when the ,andage was re)oved+ Then it flew off ) hand and into the dar- ,ushes near, + I sat in the car for an hour afterward* sha-ing and sweating and constantl ru,,ing the fingers of ) hand to reassure ) self that the spider was no longer there+ But ) )ore dra)atic e.perience with spiders happened one evening when another friend and I were driving around in his car+ Al)ost co)pletel covering ) fingers was a )onstrous ,rown spider* with white stripes running down each of a see)ingl endless nu),er of long* furr legs+ %ost of all* I saw the ugl red sca, on his hand and the ellow pus that continued oo4ing fro) under the sca, for several wee-s+ I i)agined ) entire hand soon disappearing as the ,ehe)oth relentlessl devoured it+ At the sa)e ti)e* I cried out /ArghhB0 and flic-ed ) hand violentl ,acand forth to sha-e off the spider+ For a long* horri,le second it clung stic-il * as if intertwined for good a)ong the fingers of ) hand+ Identif ing Transitions Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate addition transition fro) the following list+ ;se each transition once+ also second for one thing last of all Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate ti)e transition fro) the list that follows+ ;se each transition once+ then fi rst after as later Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate addition or change'of'direction transition fro) the list that follows+ ;se each transition once+ however also ne.t fi nall ,ut fi rst

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate addition or change'of'direction transitions fro) the list that follows+ ;se each transition once+ fourth ,ut et another for one thing second however last Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ Fill in each ,lan- with the appropriate transition fro) the following list+ ;se each transition once+ 'ddition transitions1 first of all* second* fi nall Time transition1 when Illustration transition1 once Change7of7direction transition1 however Conclusion transition1 as a result Identif ing Transitions and 9ther Connecting Words This activit will give ou practice in identif ing transitions and other connecting words that are used to help tie ideas together+ Section ATransitions 2ocate the transitional word in each sentence and write it in the space provided+ 1 " 8 I decided to pic- up a drop'add for) fro) the registrar1s office+ (owever* I changed ) )ind when I saw the long line of students waiting there+ In England* drivers use the left'hand side of the road+ Conse5uentl * in a car the steering wheel is on the right side+ Crawling ,a,ies will often investigate new o,=ects , putting the) in their )ouths+ Therefore* parents should ,e alert for an pins* tac-s* or other dangerous ite)s on floors and carpets+

Cop right ! "##$ The %c&raw'(ill Co)panies* Inc+ All rights reserved+ :+ 9ne techni5ue that advertisers use is to have a cele,rit endorse a product+ The consu)er then associates that product with the star 5ualities of the cele,rit +

Section BRepeated Words In the space provided* write the repeated words+ 1 We a,sor, radiation fro) )an sources in our environ)ent+ 9ur cell phones

and )icrowave ovens* a)ong other things* give off low'level radiation+ " %an researchers ,elieve that people have weight set'points their ,odies tr to )aintain+ This )a e.plain wh )an dieters return to their original weight+ At the end of the concert* thousands of fans held up lighters in the dar-ened stadiu)+ The sea of lighters signaled that the fans wanted an encore+ Esta,lishing credit is i)portant for ever one+ A good credit histor is often necessar when appl ing for a loan or credit card+

8 :

Section CSynonyms In the space provided* write the s non ) for the underlined word+ 1 " 8 : I chec-ed ) car1s tires* oil* water* and ,elts ,efore the trip+ But the ungrateful )achine sputtered and died a,out fift )iles fro) ho)e+ Wo)en1s clothes* in general* use less )aterial than )en1s clothes+ <et wo)en1s gar)ents usuall cost )ore than )en1s+ The te)perance )ove)ent in this countr sought to ,an alcohol+ 3rin-ing li5uor* )ove)ent leaders said* led to violence* povert * prostitution* and insanit + For )e* apath 5uic-l sets in when the weather ,eco)es hot and stic- + This listlessness disappears when the hu)idit decreases+ Section DPronouns In the space provided* write the word referred to , pronoun+ 1 " 8 the underlined

At the ,eginning of the twentieth centur * ,ananas were still an oddit in the ;nited States+ So)e people even atte)pted to eat the) with the s-in on+ Canning vegeta,les is eas and econo)ical+ It can also ,e ver dangerous+ There are a nu),er of signs that appear when students are under stress+ For e.a)ple* the start to have trou,le stud ing* eating* and even sleeping+