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The Gondoliers or The King of Barataria Libretto by William S. Gilbert Music by Arthur S. Sullivan D AMAT!

S "# S$%A# T&# D'K# $( "LA)A*T$ $ +a Grandee of S,ainL'!) +his attendantD$% AL&AMB A D#L B$L# $ +the Grand !n.uisitioner/enetian Gondoliers MA 0$ "ALM!# ! G!'S#""# "ALM!# ! A%T$%!$ ( A%0#S0$ G!$ G!$ A%%!BAL# T&# D'0&#SS $( "LA)A*T$ $ 0AS!LDA +her Daughter0ontadine G!A%#TTA T#SSA (!AM#TTA /!TT$ !A G!'L!A !%#) +the King1s (oster*mother0horus of Gondoliers and 0ontadine2 Men*at*Arms2 &eralds and "ages A0T ! The "ia33etta2 /enice A0T !! "avilion in the "alace of Barataria +An interval of three months is su,,osed to ela,se bet4een Acts ! and !!DAT# 5678 9 A0T ! The Ducal "alace on the right.

Scene.** the "ia33etta2 /enice.

(iametta2 Giulia2 /ittoria2 and other 0ontadine discovered2 each tying a bou.uet of roses.

0&$ 'S $( 0$%TAD!%#. List and learn2 ye dainty roses2 oses 4hite and roses red2 Why 4e bind you into ,osies #re your morning bloom has fled. By a la4 of maiden1s ma:ing2 Accents of a heart that1s aching2 #ven though that heart be brea:ing2 Should by maiden be unsaid; Though they love 4ith love e<ceeding2 They must seem to be unheeding** Go ye then and do their ,leading2 oses 4hite and roses red= (!AM#TTA. T4o there are for 4hom in duty2 #very maid in /enice sighs** T4o so ,eerless in their beauty That they shame the summer s:ies. We have hearts for them2 in ,lenty2 They have hearts2 but all too fe42 We2 alas2 are four*and*t4enty= They2 alas2 are only t4o= We2 alas= 0&$ 'S. (!A. 0&$ 'S. (!A. 0&$ 'S. Are only t4o. They2 alas2 are only t4o2 alas= %o4 ye :no42 ye dainty roses2 oses 4hite and roses red2 Why 4e bind you into ,osies2 #re your morning bloom has fled2 oses 4hite and roses red= Are four*and*t4enty2 They2 alas= Alas= Alas=

+During this chorus Antonio2 (rancesco2 Giorgio2 and other Gondoliers have entered unobserved by the Girls**at first t4o2 then t4o more2 then four2 then half a do3en2 then the remainder of the 0horus.S$L!. ( A%0. (!A. G!'. Good morro42 ,retty maids> for 4hom ,re,are ye These floral tributes e<traordinary? (or Marco and Giuse,,e "almieri2 The ,in: and flo4er of all the Gondolieri. They1re coming here2 as 4e have heard but lately2 To choose t4o brides from us 4ho sit sedately.

A%T. ALL.

Do all you maidens love them? "assionately=

A%T. G!$ . (!A. /!T. G!'. (!A. and /!T. A%T.

These gondoliers are to be envied greatly= But 4hat of us2 4ho one and all adore you? &ave ,ity on our ,assion2 4e im,lore you= These gentlemen must ma:e their choice before you> !n the meantime 4e tacitly ignore you. When they have chosen t4o that leaves you ,lenty** T4o do3en 4e2 and ye are four*and*t4enty. Till then2 en@oy your dolce far niente. With ,leasure2 nobody contradicente= S$%G**A%T$%!$ and 0&$ 'S. (or the merriest fello4s are 4e2 tra la2 That ,ly on the emerald sea2 tra la> With loving and laughing2 And .ui,,ing and .uaffing2 We1re ha,,y as ha,,y can be2 tra la** With loving and laughing2 etc. With sorro4 4e1ve nothing to do2 tra la2 And care is a thing to ,ooh*,ooh2 tra la> And Aealousy yello42 'nfortunate fello42 We dro4n in the shimmering blue2 tra la** And Aealousy yello42 etc.

(!A. +loo:ing off-. choice**

See2 see2 at last they come to ma:e their Let us acclaim them 4ith united voice.

+Marco and Giuse,,e a,,ear in gondola at bac:.0&$ 'S +Girls-. &ail2 hail= gallant gondolieri2 ben venuti= Acce,t our love2 our homage2 and our duty. Ben1 venuti= ben1 venuti= +Marco and Giuse,,e @um, ashore**the Girls salute them.D'#T**MA 0$ and G!'S#""#2 4ith 0&$ 'S $( G! LS. MA . and G!'. G! LS. Buon1 giorno2 signorine= Gondolieri carissimi= Siamo contadine=

MA . and G!'. +bo4ing-. Servitori umilissimi= "er chi .uesti fiori** Buesti fiori bellissimi? G! LS. "er voi2 bei signori $ eccellentissimi=

+The Girls ,resent their bou.uets to Marco and Giuse,,e2 4ho are over4helmed 4ith them2 and carry them 4ith difficulty.MA . and G!'. +their arms full of flo4ers-. $ ciel1= $ ciel1= G! LS. MA . and G!'. +de,recatingly-. +To (ia. and /it.G! LS. +de,recatingly-. MA . and G!'. G! LS +de,recatingly-. +0urtseying to Mar. and Giu.MA . and G!'. +de,recatingly-. gondolieri= 0&$ 'S. signorine2 etc. D'#T**MA 0$ and G!'S#""#. We1re called gondolieri2 But that1s a vagary2 !t1s .uite honorary The trade that 4e ,ly. (or gallantry noted Since 4e 4ere short*coated2 To beauty devoted2 Giuse,,eCAre Marco and !> When morning is brea:ing2 $ur couches forsa:ing2 To greet their a4a:ing With carols 4e come. At summer day1s nooning2 When 4eary lagooning2 $ur mandolins tuning2 We la3ily thrum. When ves,ers are ringing2 To ho,e ever clinging2 With songs of our singing Buon1 giorno2 cavalieri= Siamo gondolieri. Signorina2 io t1 amo= 0ontadine siamo. Signorine= 0ontadine= 0avalieri. "overi Buon1 giorno2

Gondolieri=

A vigil 4e :ee,2 When daylight is fading2 #n4ra,t in night1s shading2 With soft serenading We sing them to slee,. We1re called gondolieri2 etc. #0!TAT!/#**MA 0$ and G!'S#""#. MA . G!'. B$T&. MA . G!'. And no4 to choose our brides= As all are young and fair2 And amiable besides2 We really do not care A ,reference to declare. A bias to disclose Would be indelicate** And therefore 4e ,ro,ose To let im,artial (ate Select for us a mate= /iva= A bias to disclose Would be indelicate** But ho4 do they ,ro,ose To let im,artial (ate Select for them a mate? These hand:erchiefs u,on our eyes be good enough to And ta:e good care that both of us are absolutely blind> Then turn us round**and 4e2 4ith all convenient des,atch2 Will underta:e to marry any t4o of you 4e catch= /iva= They underta:e to marry any t4o of usCthem they catch=

ALL. G! LS. M#%.

G!'. bind2 MA . B$T&. ALL.

+The Girls ,re,are to bind their eyes as directed.(!A. +to Marco-. MA . Are you ,ee,ing? 0an you see me? Dar: !1m :ee,ing2 Dar: and dreamy= +Marco slyly lifts bandage./!T. +to Giuse,,e-. !f you1re blinded

Truly2 say so G!'. +slyly lifts bandage-. (!A. +detecting Marco-. 0onduct shady= They are cheating= Surely they de* Serve a beating= This too much is> Maidens moc:ing** 0onduct such is Truly shoc:ing= All right*minded "layers ,lay so=

+re,laces bandage-. /!T. +detecting Giuse,,e-.

+re,laces bandage-. ALL. Dou can s,y2 sir= Shut your eye2 sir= Dou may use it by and by2 sir= Dou can see2 sir= Don1t tell me2 sir= That 4ill do**no4 let it be2 sir= My ,a,a he :ee,s three horses2 Blac:2 and 4hite2 and da,,le Turn three times2 then ta:e your 0atch 4hichever girl you may2 My ,a,a2 etc.

0&$ 'S $( G! LS. grey2 sir> courses2 sir= 0&$ 'S $( M#%.

+Marco and Giuse,,e turn round2 as directed2 and try to catch the girls. Business of blind*man1s buff. #ventually Marco catches Gianetta2 and Giuse,,e catches Tessa. The t4o girls try to esca,e2 but in vain. The t4o men ,ass their hands over the girls1 faces to discover their identity.G!'. +Guessing.0&$ 'S. MA . +guessing-. !1ve at length achieved a ca,ture= This is Tessa= +removes bandage-. a,ture2 a,ture2 ra,ture= To me Gianetta fate has granted= +removes bandage-. Aust the very girl ! 4anted= ra,ture=

0&$ 'S.

Aust the very girl he 4anted= !f you1d rather change** My goodness=

G!'. +,olitely to Mar.-. T#SS.

This indeed is sim,le rudeness.

MA . +,olitely to Giu.-. G!A. G!A.

!1ve no ,reference 4hatever**

Listen to him= Well2 ! never= +#ach man :isses each girl.Than: you2 gallant gondolieri= !n a set and formal measure !t is scarcely necessary To e<,ress our ,leasure. #ach of us to ,rove a treasure2 0on@ugal and monetary2 Gladly 4ill devote our leisure2 Gay and gallant gondolieri. Tra2 la2 la2 la2 la2 la2 etc. Gay and gallant gondolieri2 Ta:e us both and hold us tightly2 Dou have luc: e<traordinary> We might both have been unsightly= !f 4e @udge your conduct rightly2 1T4as a choice involuntary> Still 4e than: you most ,olitely2 Gay and gallant gondolieri= Tra2 la2 la2 la2 la2 la2 etc. Than: you2 gallant gondolieri> !n a set and formal measure2 !t is scarcely necessary To e<,ress our ,leasure. #ach of us to ,rove a treasure Gladly 4ill devote our leisure2 Gay and gallant gondolieri= Tra2 la2 la2 la2 la2 la2 etc. (ate in this has ,ut his finger** Let us bo4 to (ate1s decree2 Then no longer let us linger2 To the altar hurry 4e=

T#SS.

0&$ 'S $( G! LS.

ALL.

+They all dance off t4o and t4o**Gianetta 4ith Marco2 Tessa 4ith Giuse,,e.+(lourish. A gondola arrives at the "ia33etta ste,s2 from 4hich enter the Du:e of "la3a*toro2 the Duchess2 their daughter 0asilda2 and their attendant Lui32 4ho carries a drum. All are dressed in ,om,ous but old and faded clothes.+#ntrance of Du:e2 Duchess2 0asilda2 and Lui3.D'K#. D'0&. 0AS. L'!). (rom the sunny S,anish shore2 The Du:e of "la3a*Tor=** And &is Grace1s Duchess true** And &is Grace1s daughter2 too** And &is Grace1s ,rivate drum

To /enetia1s shores have come; ALL. !f ever2 ever2 ever They get bac: to S,ain2 They 4ill never2 never2 never 0ross the sea again** %either that Grandee from the S,anish shore2 The noble Du:e of "la3a*Tor1** %or &is Grace1s Duchess2 staunch and true** Dou may add2 &is Grace1s daughter2 too** %or &is Grace1s o4n ,articular drum To /enetia1s shores 4ill come; !f ever2 ever2 ever They get bac: to S,ain2 They 4ill never2 never2 never 0ross the sea again=

D'K#. D'0&. 0AS. L'!). ALL.

D'K#. At last 4e have arrived at our destination. This is the Ducal "alace2 and it is here that the Grand !n.uisitor resides. As a 0astilian hidalgo of ninety*five .uarterings2 ! regret that ! am unable to ,ay my state visit on a horse. As a 0astilian hidalgo of that descri,tion2 ! should have ,referred to ride through the streets of /enice> but o4ing2 ! ,resume2 to an unusually 4et season2 the streets are in such a condition that e.uestrian e<ercise is im,racticable. %o matter. Where is our suite? L'!) +coming for4ard-. Dour Grace2 ! am here. D'0&. Why do you not do yourself the honour to :neel 4hen you address &is Grace? D'K#. My love2 it is so small a matter= +To Lui3.- Still2 you may as 4ell do it. +Lui3 :neels.0AS. The young man seems to entertain but an im,erfect a,,reciation of the res,ect due from a menial to a 0astilian hidalgo. D'K#. My child2 you are hard u,on our suite. 0AS. "a,a2 !1ve no ,atience 4ith the ,resum,tion of ,ersons in his ,lebeian ,osition. !f he does not a,,reciate that ,osition2 let him be 4hi,,ed until he does. D'K#. Let us ho,e the omission 4as not intended as a slight. ! should be much hurt if ! thought it 4as. So 4ould he. +To Lui3.Where are the halberdiers 4ho 4ere to have had the honour of meeting us here2 that our visit to the Grand !n.uisitor might be made in becoming state? L'!). Dour Grace2 the halberdiers are mercenary ,eo,le 4ho sti,ulated for a trifle on account. D'K#. &o4 tiresome= Well2 let us ho,e the Grand !n.uisitor is a blind gentleman. And the band 4ho 4ere to have had the honour of escorting us? ! see no band= L'!). Dour Grace2 the band are sordid ,ersons 4ho re.uired to be ,aid in advance. D'0&. That1s so li:e a band= D'K# +annoyed-. !nsu,erable difficulties meet me at every turn= D'0&. But surely they :no4 &is Grace? L'!). #<actly**they :no4 &is Grace.

D'K#. Well2 let us ho,e that the Grand !n.uisitor is a deaf gentleman. A cornet*a*,iston 4ould be something. Dou do not ha,,en to ,ossess the accom,lishment of tootling li:e a cornet*a*,iston? L'!). Alas2 no2 Dour Grace= But ! can imitate a farmyard. D'K# +doubtfully-. ! don1t see ho4 that 4ould hel, us. ! don1t see ho4 4e could bring it in. 0AS. !t 4ould not hel, us in the least. We are not a ,arcel of gra3iers come to mar:et2 dolt= +Lui3 rises.D'K#. My love2 our suite1s feelings= +To Lui3.- Be so good as to ring the bell and inform the Grand !n.uisitor that his Grace the Du:e of "la3a*Toro2 0ount Matadoro2 Baron "icadoro** D'0&. And suite** D'K#. And suite**have arrived at /enice2 and see:** 0AS. Desire** D'0&. Demand= D'K#. And demand an audience. L'!). Dour Grace has but to command. D'K# +much moved-. ! felt sure of it**! felt sure of it= +#<it Lui3 into Ducal "alace.- And no42 my love**+aside to Duchess- Shall 4e tell her? ! thin: so**+aloud to 0asilda- And no42 my love2 ,re,are for a magnificent sur,rise. !t is my agreeable duty to reveal to you a secret 4hich should ma:e you the ha,,iest young lady in /enice= 0AS. A secret? D'0&. A secret 4hich2 for State reasons2 it has been necessary to ,reserve for t4enty years. D'K#. When you 4ere a ,rattling babe of si< months old you 4ere married by ,ro<y to no less a ,ersonage than the infant son and heir of &is Ma@esty the immeasurably 4ealthy King of Barataria= 0AS. Married to the infant son of the King of Barataria? Was ! consulted? +Du:e sha:es his head.- Then it 4as a most un,ardonable liberty= D'K#. 0onsider his e<treme youth and forgive him. Shortly after the ceremony that misguided monarch abandoned the creed of his forefathers2 and became a Wesleyan Methodist of the most bigoted and ,ersecuting ty,e. The Grand !n.uisitor2 determined that the innovation should not be ,er,etuated in Barataria2 caused your smiling and unconscious husband to be stolen and conveyed to /enice. A fortnight since the Methodist Monarch and all his Wesleyan 0ourt 4ere :illed in an insurrection2 and 4e are here to ascertain the 4hereabouts of your husband2 and to hail you2 our daughter2 as &er Ma@esty2 the reigning Bueen of Barataria= +Kneels.+During this s,eech Lui3 re*enters.D'0&. Dour Ma@esty= +Kneels.- +Drum roll.D'K#. !t is at such moments as these that one feels ho4 necessary it is to travel 4ith a full band. 0AS. !2 the Bueen of Barataria= But !1ve nothing to 4ear= We are ,ractically ,enniless= D'K#. That ,oint has not esca,ed me. Although ! am unha,,ily in straitened circumstances at ,resent2 my social influence is something enormous> and a 0om,any2 to be called the Du:e of "la3a*Toro2 Limited2 is in course of formation to 4or: me. An influential directorate has been secured2 and ! shall myself @oin the Board after allotment.

0AS. Am ! to understand that the Bueen of Barataria may be called u,on at any time to 4itness her honoured sire in ,rocess of li.uidation? D'0&. The s,eculation is not e<em,t from that dra4bac:. !f your father should sto,2 it 4ill2 of course2 be necessary to 4ind him u,. 0AS. But it1s so undignified**it1s so degrading= A Grandee of S,ain turned into a ,ublic com,any= Such a thing 4as never heard of= D'K#. My child2 the Du:e of "la3a*Toro does not follo4 fashions**he leads them. &e al4ays leads everybody. When he 4as in the army he led his regiment. &e occasionally led them into action. &e invariably led them out of it. S$%G**D'K# $( "LA)A*T$ $. !n enter,rise of martial :ind2 When there 4as any fighting2 &e led his regiment from behind** &e found it less e<citing. But 4hen a4ay his regiment ran2 &is ,lace 4as at the fore2 $** That celebrated2 0ultivated2 'nderrated %obleman2 The Du:e of "la3a*Toro= ALL. !n the first and foremost flight2 ha2 ha= Dou al4ays found that :night2 ha2 ha= That celebrated2 0ultivated2 'nderrated %obleman2 The Du:e of "la3a*Toro= When2 to evade Destruction1s hand2 To hide they all ,roceeded2 %o soldier in that gallant band &id half as 4ell as he did. &e lay concealed throughout the 4ar2 And so ,reserved his gore2 $= That unaffected2 'ndetected2 Well*connected Warrior2 The Du:e of "la3a*Toro= !n every doughty deed2 ha2 ha= &e al4ays too: the lead2 ha2 ha= That unaffected2 'ndetected2 Well*connected Warrior2 The Du:e of "la3a*Toro= When told that they 4ould all be shot 'nless they left the service2

D'K#.

ALL.

D'K#.

That hero hesitated not2 So marvellous his nerve is. &e sent his resignation in2 The first of all his cor,s2 $= That very :no4ing2 $verflo4ing2 #asy*going "aladin2 The Du:e of "la3a*Toro= ALL. To men of grosser clay2 ha2 ha= &e al4ays sho4ed the 4ay2 ha2 ha= That very :no4ing2 $verflo4ing2 #asy*going "aladin2 The Du:e of "la3a*Toro=

+#<eunt Du:e and Duchess into Grand Ducal "alace. As soon as they have disa,,eared2 Lui3 and 0asilda rush to each other1s arms.#0!TAT!/# A%D D'#T**0AS!LDA A%D L'!). $ ra,ture2 4hen alone together T4o loving hearts and those that bear them May @oin in tem,orary tether2 Though (ate a,art should rudely tear them. 0AS. %ecessity2 !nvention1s mother2 0om,elled me to a course of feigning** But2 left alone 4ith one another2 ! 4ill atone for my disdaining= A! 0AS. Ah2 4ell*beloved2 Mine angry fro4n !s but a go4n That serves to dress My gentleness= Ah2 4ell*beloved2 Thy cold disdain2 !t gives no ,ain** 1Tis mercy2 ,layed !n mas.uerade= Ah2 4ell*beloved2 etc.

L'!).

B$T&.

0AS. $ Lui32 Lui3**4hat have you said? What have ! done? What have ! allo4ed you to do? L'!). %othing2 ! trust2 that you 4ill ever have reason to re,ent. +$ffering to embrace her.0AS. +4ithdra4ing from him-. %ay2 Lui32 it may not be. ! have embraced you for the last time. L'!) +ama3ed-. 0asilda=

0AS. ! have @ust learnt2 to my sur,rise and indignation2 that ! 4as 4ed in babyhood to the infant son of the King of Barataria= L'!). The son of the King of Barataria? The child 4ho 4as stolen in infancy by the !n.uisition? 0AS. The same. But2 of course2 you :no4 his story. L'!). Kno4 his story? Why2 ! have often told you that my mother 4as the nurse to 4hose charge he 4as entrusted= 0AS. True. ! had forgotten. Well2 he has been discovered2 and my father has brought me here to claim his hand. L'!). But you 4ill not recogni3e this marriage? !t too: ,lace 4hen you 4ere too young to understand its im,ort. 0AS. %ay2 Lui32 res,ect my ,rinci,les and cease to torture me 4ith vain entreaties. &enceforth my life is another1s. L'!). But stay**the ,resent and the future**they are another1s> but the ,ast**that at least is ours2 and none can ta:e it from us. As 4e may revel in naught else2 let us revel in that= 0AS. ! don1t thin: ! gras, your meaning. L'!). Det it is logical enough. Dou say you cease to love me? 0AS. +demurely-. ! say ! may not love you. L'!). Ah2 but you do not say you did not love me? 0AS. ! loved you 4ith a fren3y that 4ords are ,o4erless to e<,ress**and that but ten brief minutes since= L'!). #<actly. My o4n**that is2 until ten minutes since2 my o4n**my lately loved2 my recently adored**tell me that until2 say a .uarter of an hour ago2 ! 4as all in all to thee= +#mbracing her.0AS. ! see your idea. !t1s ingenious2 but don1t do that. + eleasing herself.L'!). There can be no harm in revelling in the ,ast. 0AS. %one 4hatever2 but an embrace cannot be ta:en to act retros,ectively. L'!). "erha,s not= 0AS. We may recollect an embrace**! recollect many**but 4e must not re,eat them. L'!). Then let us recollect a fe4= +A moment1s ,ause2 as they recollect2 then both heave a dee, sigh.L'!). Ah2 0asilda2 you 4ere to me as the sun is to the earth= 0AS. A .uarter of an hour ago? L'!). About that. 0AS. And to thin: that2 but for this miserable discovery2 you 4ould have been my o4n for life= L'!). Through life to death**a .uarter of an hour ago= 0AS. &o4 greedily my thirsty ears 4ould have drun: the golden melody of those s4eet 4ords a .uarter**4ell2 it1s no4 about t4enty minutes since. +Loo:ing at her 4atch.L'!). About that. !n such a matter one cannot be too ,recise. 0AS. And no4 our love2 so full of life2 is but a silent2 solemn memory= L'!). Must it be so2 0asilda? 0AS. Lui32 it must be so= D'#T**0AS!LDA and L'!). L'!). There 4as a time** A time for ever gone**ah2 4oe is me= !t 4as no crime To love but thee alone**ah2 4oe is me= $ne heart2 one life2 one soul2

$ne aim2 one goal** #ach in the other1s thrall2 #ach all in all2 ah2 4oe is me= B$T&. $h2 bury2 bury**let the grave close o1er The days that 4ere**that never 4ill be more= $h2 bury2 bury love that all condemn2 And let the 4hirl4ind mourn its re.uiem= Dead as the last year1s leaves** As gathered flo4ers**ah2 4oe is me= Dead as the garnered sheaves2 That love of ours**ah2 4oe is me= Born but to fade and die When ho,e 4as high2 Dead and as far a4ay As yesterday=**ah2 4oe is me= $h2 bury2 bury**let the grave close o1er2 etc.

0AS.

B$T&.

+ e*enter from the Ducal "alace the Du:e and Duchess2 follo4ed by Don Alhambra del Bolero2 the Grand !n.uisitor.D'K#. My child2 allo4 me to ,resent to you &is Distinction Don Alhambra del Bolero2 the Grand !n.uisitor of S,ain. !t 4as &is Distinction 4ho so thoughtfully abstracted your infant husband and brought him to /enice. D$% AL. So this is the little lady 4ho is so une<,ectedly called u,on to assume the functions of oyalty= And a very nice little lady2 too= D'K#. Aim,2 isn1t she? D$% AL. Distinctly @im,. Allo4 me= +$ffers his hand. She turns a4ay scornfully.- %aughty tem,er= D'K#. Dou must ma:e some allo4ance. &er Ma@esty1s head is a little turned by her access of dignity. D$% AL. ! could have 4ished that &er Ma@esty1s access of dignity had turned it in this direction. D'0&. 'nfortunately2 if ! am not mista:en2 there a,,ears to be some little doubt as to &is Ma@esty1s 4hereabouts. 0AS. +aside-. A doubt as to his 4hereabouts? Then 4e may yet be saved= D$% AL. A doubt? $h dear2 no**no doubt at all= &e is here2 in /enice2 ,lying the modest but ,ictures.ue calling of a gondolier. ! can give you his address**! see him every day= !n the entire annals of our history there is absolutely no circumstance so entirely free from all manner of doubt of any :ind 4hatever= Listen2 and !1ll tell you all about it. S$%G**D$% AL&AMB A +4ith D'K#2 D'0&#SS2 0AS!LDA2 and L'!)-. ! stole the "rince2 and ! brought him here2 And left him gaily ,rattling With a highly res,ectable gondolier2 Who ,romised the oyal babe to rear2 And teach him the trade of a timoneer With his o4n beloved bratling.

Both of the babes 4ere strong and stout2 And2 considering all things2 clever. $f that there is no manner of doubt** %o ,robable2 ,ossible shado4 of doubt** %o ,ossible doubt 4hatever. ALL. %o ,ossible doubt 4hatever. But o4ing2 !1m much dis,osed to fear2 To his terrible taste for ti,,ling2 That highly res,ectable gondolier 0ould never declare 4ith a mind sincere Which of the t4o 4as his offs,ring dear2 And 4hich the oyal stri,ling= Which 4as 4hich he could never ma:e out Des,ite his best endeavour. $f that there is no manner of doubt** %o ,robable2 ,ossible shado4 of doubt** %o ,ossible doubt 4hatever. ALL. %o ,ossible doubt 4hatever. Time s,ed2 and 4hen at the end of a year ! sought that infant cherished2 That highly res,ectable gondolier Was lying a cor,se on his humble bier** ! dro,,ed a Grand !n.uisitor1s tear** That gondolier had ,erished. A taste for drin:2 combined 4ith gout2 &ad doubled him u, for ever. $f that there is no manner of doubt** %o ,robable2 ,ossible shado4 of doubt** %o ,ossible doubt 4hatever. ALL. %o ,ossible doubt 4hatever. The children follo4ed his old career** +This statement can1t be ,arried$f a highly res,ectable gondolier; Well2 one of the t4o +4ho 4ill soon be here-** But 4hich of the t4o is not .uite clear** !s the oyal "rince you married= Search in and out and round about2 And you1ll discover never A tale so free from every doubt** All ,robable2 ,ossible shado4 of doubt** All ,ossible doubt 4hatever= ALL. A tale free from every doubt2 etc.

0AS. Then do you mean to say that ! am married to one of t4o gondoliers2 but it is im,ossible to say 4hich?

D$% AL. Without any doubt of any :ind 4hatever. But be reassured; the nurse to 4hom your husband 4as entrusted is the mother of the musical young man 4ho is such a ,ast*master of that delicately modulated instrument +indicating the drum-. She can2 no doubt2 establish the King1s identity beyond all .uestion. L'!). &eavens2 ho4 did he :no4 that? D$% AL. My young friend2 a Grand !n.uisitor is al4ays u, to date. +To 0as.- &is mother is at ,resent the 4ife of a highly res,ectable and old*established brigand2 4ho carries on an e<tensive ,ractice in the mountains around 0ordova. Accom,anied by t4o of my emissaries2 he 4ill set off at once for his mother1s address. She 4ill return 4ith them2 and if she finds any difficulty in ma:ing u, her mind2 the ,ersuasive influence of the torture chamber 4ill @og her memory. #0!TAT!/#**0AS!LDA and D$% AL&AMB A. 0AS. But2 bless my heart2 consider my ,osition= ! am the 4ife of one2 that1s very clear> But 4ho can tell2 e<ce,t by intuition2 Which is the "rince2 and 4hich the Gondolier?

D$% AL. Submit to (ate 4ithout unseemly 4rangle; Such com,lications fre.uently occur** Life is one closely com,licated tangle; Death is the only true unraveller= B'!%T#T**D'K#2 D'0&#SS2 0AS!LDA2 L'!)2 and G A%D !%B'!S!T$ . ALL. Try 4e life*long2 4e can never Straighten out life1s tangled s:ein2 Why should 4e2 in vain endeavour2 Guess and guess and guess again? Life1s a ,udding full of ,lums2 0are1s a can:er that benumbs. Life1s a ,udding full of ,lums2 0are1s a can:er that benumbs. Wherefore 4aste our elocution $n im,ossible solution? Life1s a ,leasant institution2 Let us ta:e it as it comes= Set aside the dull enigma2 We shall guess it all too soon> (ailure brings no :ind of stigma** Dance 4e to another tune= L'!). D'0&. ALL. String the lyre and fill the cu,2 Lest on sorro4 4e should su,. &o, and s:i, to (ancy1s fiddle2 &ands across and do4n the middle** Life1s ,erha,s the only riddle

L'!). D'0&. ALL.

That 4e shrin: from giving u,= +#<eunt all into Ducal "alace e<ce,t Lui32 4ho goes off in gondola.+#nter Gondoliers and 0ontadine2 follo4ed by Marco2 Gianetta2 Giuse,,e2 and Tessa.0&$ 'S. Bridegroom and bride= Knot that1s insoluble2 /oices all voluble &ail it 4ith ,ride. Bridegroom and bride= We in sincerity Wish you ,ros,erity2 Bridegroom and bride= S$%G**T#SSA. T#SS. When a merry maiden marries2 Sorro4 goes and ,leasure tarries> #very sound becomes a song2 All is right2 and nothing1s 4rong= (rom to*day and ever after Let our tears be tears of laughter. #very sigh that finds a vent Be a sigh of s4eet content= When you marry2 merry maiden2 Then the air 4ith love is laden> #very flo4er is a rose2 #very goose becomes a s4an2 #very :ind of trouble goes Where the last year1s sno4s have Sunlight ta:es the ,lace of shade When you marry2 merry maid= When a merry maiden marries2 Sorro4 goes and ,leasure tarries> #very sound becomes a song2 All is right2 and nothing1s 4rong. Gna4ing 0are and aching Sorro42 Get ye gone until to*morro4> Aealousies in grim array2 De are things of yesterday= When you marry2 merry maiden2 Then the air 4ith @oy is laden> All the corners of the earth ing 4ith music s4eetly ,layed2 Worry is melodious mirth2 Grief is @oy in mas.uerade> Sullen night is laughing day** All the year is merry May=

gone= 0&$ 'S. T#SS.

0&$ 'S.

+At the end of the song2 Don Alhambra enters at bac:. The Gondoliers and 0ontadine shrin: from him2 and gradually go off2 much alarmed.G!'. And no4 our lives are going to begin in real earnest= What1s a bachelor? A mere nothing**he1s a chrysalis. &e can1t be said to live**he e<ists. MA . What a delightful institution marriage is= Why have 4e 4asted all this time? Why didn1t 4e marry ten years ago? T#SS. Because you couldn1t find anybody nice enough. G!A. Because you 4ere 4aiting for us. MA . ! su,,ose that 4as the reason. We 4ere 4aiting for you 4ithout :no4ing it. +Don Alhambra comes for4ard.- &allo= D$% AL. Good morning. G!'. !f this gentleman is an underta:er it1s a bad omen. D$% AL. 0eremony of some sort going on? G!'. +aside-. &e is an underta:er= +Aloud.- %o**a little unim,ortant family gathering. %othing in your line. D$% AL. Somebody1s birthday2 ! su,,ose? G!A. Des2 mine= T#SS. And mine= MA . And mine= G!'. And mine= D$% AL. 0urious coincidence= And ho4 old may you all be? T#SS. !t1s a rude .uestion**but about ten minutes. D$% AL. emar:ably fine children= But surely you are @esting? T#SS. !n other 4ords2 4e 4ere married about ten minutes since. D$% AL. Married= Dou don1t mean to say you are married? MA . $h yes2 4e are married. D$% AL. What2 both of you? ALL. All four of us. D$% AL. +aside-. Bless my heart2 ho4 e<tremely a4:4ard= G!A. Dou don1t mind2 ! su,,ose? T#SS. Dou 4ere not thin:ing of either of us for yourself2 ! ,resume? $h2 Giuse,,e2 loo: at him**he 4as. &e1s heart*bro:en= D$% AL. %o2 no2 ! 4asn1t= ! 4asn1t= G!'. %o42 my man +sla,,ing him on the bac:-2 4e don1t 4ant anything in your line to*day2 and if your curiosity1s satisfied**you can go= D$% AL. Dou mustn1t call me your man. !t1s a liberty. ! don1t thin: you :no4 4ho ! am. G!'. %ot 4e2 indeed= We are @olly gondoliers2 the sons of Ba,tisto "almieri2 4ho led the last revolution. e,ublicans2 heart and soul2 4e hold all men to be e.ual. As 4e abhor o,,ression2 4e abhor :ings; as 4e detest vain*glory2 4e detest ran:; as 4e des,ise effeminacy2 4e des,ise 4ealth. We are /enetian gondoliers**your e.uals in everything e<ce,t our calling2 and in that at once your masters and your servants. D$% AL. Bless my heart2 ho4 unfortunate= $ne of you may be Ba,tisto1s son2 for anything ! :no4 to the contrary> but the other is no less a ,ersonage than the only son of the late King of Barataria. ALL. What= D$% AL. And ! trust**! trust it 4as that one 4ho sla,,ed me on the shoulder and called me his man= G!'. $ne of us a :ing= MA . %ot brothers= T#SS. The King of Barataria= ETogetherF G!A. Well2 4ho1d have thought it=

MA . But 4hich is it? D$% AL. What does it matter? As you are both e,ublicans2 and hold :ings in detestation2 of course you1ll abdicate at once. Good morning= +Going.G!A. and T#SS. $h2 don1t do that= +Marco and Giuse,,e sto, him.G!'. Well2 as to that2 of course there are :ings and :ings. When ! say that ! detest :ings2 ! mean ! detest bad :ings. D$% AL. ! see. !t1s a delicate distinction. G!'. Buite so. %o4 ! can conceive a :ind of :ing**an ideal :ing**the creature of my fancy2 you :no4**4ho 4ould be absolutely unob@ectionable. A :ing2 for instance2 4ho 4ould abolish ta<es and ma:e everything chea,2 e<ce,t gondolas** MA . And give a great many free entertainments to the gondoliers** G!'. And let off fire4or:s on the Grand 0anal2 and engage all the gondolas for the occasion** MA . And scramble money on the ialto among the gondoliers. G!'. Such a :ing 4ould be a blessing to his ,eo,le2 and if ! 4ere a :ing2 that is the sort of :ing ! 4ould be. MA . And so 4ould != D$% AL. 0ome2 !1m glad to find your ob@ections are not insu,erable. MA . and G!'. $h2 they1re not insu,erable. G!A. and T#SS. %o2 they1re not insu,erable. G!'. Besides2 4e are o,en to conviction. G!A. Des> they are o,en to conviction. T#SS. $h= they1ve often been convicted. G!'. $ur vie4s may have been hastily formed on insufficient grounds. They may be crude2 ill*digested2 erroneous. !1ve a very ,oor o,inion of the ,olitician 4ho is not o,en to conviction. T#SS. +to Gia.-. $h2 he1s a fine fello4= G!A. Des2 that1s the sort of ,olitician for my money= D$% AL. Then 4e1ll consider it settled. %o42 as the country is in a state of insurrection2 it is absolutely necessary that you should assume the reins of Government at once> and2 until it is ascertained 4hich of you is to be :ing2 ! have arranged that you 4ill reign @ointly2 so that no .uestion can arise hereafter as to the validity of any of your acts. MA . As one individual? D$% AL. As one individual. G!'. +lin:ing himself 4ith Marco-. Li:e this? D$% AL. Something li:e that. MA . And 4e may ta:e our friends 4ith us2 and give them ,laces about the 0ourt? D$% AL. 'ndoubtedly. That1s al4ays done= MA . !1m convinced= G!'. So am != T#SS. Then the sooner 4e1re off the better. G!A. We1ll @ust run home and ,ac: u, a fe4 things +going-** D$% AL. Sto,2 sto,**that 4on1t do at all**ladies are not admitted. ALL. What= D$% AL. %ot admitted. %ot at ,resent. After4ards2 ,erha,s. We1ll see. G!'. Why2 you don1t mean to say you are going to se,arate us from our 4ives=

D$% AL. +aside-. This is very a4:4ard= +Aloud.- $nly for a time**a fe4 months. Alter all2 4hat is a fe4 months? T#SS. But 4e1ve only been married half an hour= +Wee,s.(!%AL#2 A0T !. S$%G**G!A%#TTA. Kind sir2 you cannot have the heart $ur lives to ,art (rom those to 4hom an hour ago We 4ere united= Before our flo4ing ho,es you stem2 Ah2 loo: at them2 And ,ause before you deal this blo42 All uninvited= Dou men can never understand That heart and hand 0annot be se,arated 4hen We go a*yearning> Dou see2 you1ve only 4omen1s eyes To idoli3e And only 4omen1s hearts2 ,oor men2 To set you burning= Ah me2 you men 4ill never understand That 4oman1s heart is one 4ith 4oman1s hand= Some :ind of charm you seem to find !n 4oman:ind** Some source of une<,lained delight +'nless you1re @esting-2 But 4hat attracts you2 ! confess2 ! cannot guess2 To me a 4oman1s face is .uite 'ninteresting= !f from my sister ! 4ere torn2 !t could be borne** ! should2 no doubt2 be horrified2 But ! could bear it>** But Marco1s .uite another thing** &e is my King2 &e has my heart and none beside Shall ever share it= Ah me2 you men 4ill never understand That 4oman1s heart is one 4ith 4oman1s hand= #0!TAT!/#**D$% AL&AMB A. Do not give 4ay to this uncalled*for grief2 Dour se,aration 4ill be very brief. To ascertain 4hich is the King And 4hich the other2 To Barataria1s 0ourt !1ll bring &is foster*mother> &er former nurseling to declare She1ll be delighted. That settled2 let each ha,,y ,air

Be reunited. MA .2 G!'.2 G!A.2 T#SS. /iva= /iva= &is argument is strong= We1ll not be ,arted long= /iva= !t 4ill be settled soon= /iva= Then comes our honeymoon= +#<it Don Alhambra.B'A T#T**MA 0$2 G!'S#""#.2 G!A%#TTA2 T#SSA. G!A. Then one of us 4ill be a Bueen2 And sit on a golden throne2 With a cro4n instead $f a hat on her head2 And diamonds all her o4n= With a beautiful robe of gold and green2 !1ve al4ays understood> ! 4onder 4hether She1d 4ear a feather? ! rather thin: she should= $h2 1tis a glorious thing2 ! 4een2 To be a regular oyal Bueen= %o half*and*half affair2 ! mean2 But a right*do4n regular oyal Bueen= She1ll drive about in a carriage and ,air2 With the King on her left*hand side2 And a mil:*4hite horse2 As a matter of course2 Whenever she 4ants to ride= With beautiful silver shoes to 4ear ',on her dainty feet> With endless stoc:s $f beautiful froc:s And as much as she 4ants to eat= $h2 1tis a glorious thing2 ! 4een2 etc. Whenever she condescends to 4al:2 Be sure she1ll shine at that2 With her haughty stare And her nose in the air2 Li:e a 4ell*born aristocrat= At elegant high society tal: She1ll bear a4ay the bell2 With her G&o4 de do?G And her G&o4 are you?G And G! trust ! see you 4ell=G $h2 1tis a glorious thing2 ! 4een2 etc. And noble lords 4ill scra,e and bo42 And double themselves in t4o2 And o,en their eyes

ALL.

MA .

ALL. T#SS.

ALL. G!'.

!n blan: sur,rise At 4hatever she li:es to do. And everybody 4ill roundly vo4 She1s fair as flo4ers in May2 And say2 G&o4 clever=G At 4hatsoever She condescends to say= ALL. $h2 1tis a glorious thing2 ! 4een2 To be a regular oyal Bueen= %o half*and*half affair2 ! mean2 But a right*do4n regular oyal Bueen=

+#nter 0horus of Gondoliers and 0ontadine.0&$ 'S. %o42 ,ray2 4hat is the cause of this remar:able hilarity? This sudden ebullition of unmitigated @ollity? &as anybody blessed you 4ith a sam,le of his charity? $r have you been ado,ted by a gentleman of .uality? MA . and G!'. e,lying2 4e sing As one individual2 As ! find !1m a :ing2 To my :ingdom ! bid you all. !1m a4are you ob@ect To ,avilions and ,alaces2 But you1ll find ! res,ect Dour e,ublican fallacies. As they :no4 4e ob@ect To ,avilions and ,alaces2 &o4 can they res,ect $ur e,ublican fallacies? MA 0$ and G!'S#""#. MA . (or every one 4ho feels inclined2 Some ,ost 4e underta:e to find 0ongenial 4ith his frame of mind** And all shall e.ual be. The 0hancellor in his ,eru:e** The #arl2 the Mar.uis2 and the Doo:2 The Groom2 the Butler2 and the 0oo:** They all shall e.ual be. The Aristocrat 4ho ban:s 4ith 0outts** The Aristocrat 4ho hunts and shoots** The Aristocrat 4ho cleans our boots** They all shall e.ual be= The %oble Lord 4ho rules the State** The %oble Lord 4ho cleans the ,late** The %oble Lord 4ho scrubs the grate**

0&$ 'S.

G!'.

MA .

G!'. MA .

They all shall e.ual be= G!'. MA . B$T&. The Lord &igh Bisho, orthodo<** The Lord &igh 0oachman on the bo<** The Lord &igh /agabond in the stoc:s** They all shall e.ual be= (or every one2 etc. Sing high2 sing lo42 Wherever they go2 They all shall e.ual be= 0&$ 'S. Sing high2 sing lo42 Wherever they go2 They all shall e.ual be= The The The The The The The The #arl2 the Mar.uis2 and the Doo:2 Groom2 the Butler2 and the 0oo:2 Aristocrat 4ho ban:s 4ith 0outts2 Aristocrat 4ho cleans the boots2 %oble Lord 4ho rules the State2 %oble Lord 4ho scrubs the grate2 Lord &igh Bisho, orthodo<2 Lord &igh /agabond in the stoc:s**

(or every one2 etc. Sing high2 sing lo42 Wherever they go2 They all shall e.ual be= Then hail= $ King2 Whichever you may be2 To you 4e sing2 But do not bend the Then hail= $ King. MA 0$ and G!'S#""# +together-. 0ome2 let1s a4ay**our island cro4n a4aits me** 0onflicting feelings rend my soul a,art= The thought of oyal dignity elates me2 But leaving thee behind me brea:s my heart= +Addressing Gianetta and Tessa.G!A%#TTA and T#SSA +together-. (are4ell2 my love> on board you must be getting> But 4hile u,on the sea you gaily roam2 emember that a heart for thee is fretting** The tender little heart you1ve left at home=

:nee.

G!A.

%o42 Marco dear2 My 4ishes hear; While you1re a4ay !t1s understood Dou 4ill be good And not too gay. To every trace $f maiden grace Dou 4ill be blind2 And 4ill not glance By any chance $n 4oman:ind= !f you are 4ise2 Dou1ll shut your eyes Till 4e arrive2 And not address A lady less Than forty*five. Dou1ll ,lease to fro4n $n every go4n That you may see> And2 $ my ,et2 Dou 4on1t forget Dou1ve married me= And $ my darling2 $ my ,et2 Whatever else you may forget2 !n yonder isle beyond the sea2 Do not forget you1ve married me=

T#SS.

Dou1ll lay your head ',on your bed At set of sun. Dou 4ill not sing $f anything To any one. Dou1ll sit and mo,e All day2 ! ho,e2 And shed a tear ',on the life Dour little 4ife !s ,assing here. And if so be Dou thin: of me2 "lease tell the moon= !1ll read it all !n rays that fall $n the lagoon; Dou1ll be so :ind As tell the 4ind &o4 you may be2 And send me 4ords By little birds To comfort me=

And $ my darling2 $ my ,et2 Whatever else you may forget2 !n yonder isle beyond the sea2 Do not forget you1ve married me= B'A T#T. $h my darling2 $ my ,et2 etc.

0&$ 'S +during 4hich a GHebe.ueG is hauled alongside the .uay.Then a4ay 4e go to an island fair That lies in a Southern sea; We :no4 not 4here2 and 4e don1t much care2 Wherever that isle may be. T&# M#% +hauling on boat-. $ne2 t4o2 three2 &aul= $ne2 t4o2 three2 &aul= $ne2 t4o2 three2 &aul= With a 4ill=

ALL.

When the bree3es are a*blo4ing The shi, 4ill be going2 When they don1t 4e shall all stand still= Then a4ay 4e go to an island fair2 We :no4 not 4here2 and 4e don1t much care2 Wherever that isle may be. S$L$**MA 0$. A4ay 4e go To a balmy isle2 Where the roses blo4 All the 4inter 4hile.

ALL +hoisting sail-. Then a4ay 4e That Then a4ay 4e Then go to an island fair lies in a Southern sea; go to an island fair2 a4ay2 then a4ay2 then a4ay=

+The men embar: on the GHebe.ue.G Marco and Giuse,,e embracing Gianetta and Tessa. The girls 4ave a fare4ell to the men as the curtain falls.#%D $( A0T ! A0T !! S0#%#.**"avilion in the 0ourt of Barataria. Marco and Giuse,,e2 magnificently dressed2 are seated on t4o thrones2 occu,ied in cleaning the cro4n and the sce,tre. The Gondoliers are discovered2 dressed2 some as courtiers2 officers of ran:2 etc.2 and others as ,rivate

soldiers and servants of various degrees. All are en@oying themselves 4ithout reference to social distinctions**some ,laying cards2 others thro4ing dice2 some reading2 others ,laying cu, and ball2 GmorraG2 etc. 0&$ 'S $( M#% 4ith MA 0$ and G!'S#""#. $f ha,,iness the very ,ith !n Barataria you may see; A monarchy that1s tem,ered 4ith e,ublican #.uality. This form of government 4e find The beau ideal of its :ind** A des,otism strict combined With absolute e.uality= MA 0$ and G!'S#""#. T4o :ings2 of undue ,ride bereft2 Who act in ,erfect unity2 Whom you can order right and left With absolute im,unity. Who ,ut their sub@ects at their ease By doing all they can to ,lease= And thus2 to earn their bread*and*cheese2 Sei3e every o,,ortunity. 0&$ 'S. $f ha,,iness the very ,ith2 etc. MA . Gentlemen2 4e are much obliged to you for your e<,ressions of satisfaction and good feeling**! say2 4e are much obliged to you for your e<,ressions of satisfaction and good feeling. ALL. We heard you. MA . We are delighted2 at any time2 to fall in 4ith sentiments so charmingly e<,ressed. ALL. That1s all right. G!'. At the same time there is @ust one little grievance that 4e should li:e to ventilate. ALL +angrily-. What? G!'. Don1t be alarmed**it1s not serious. !t is arranged that2 until it is decided 4hich of us t4o is the actual King2 4e are to act as one ,erson. G!$ G!$. #<actly. G!'. %o42 although 4e act as one ,erson2 4e are2 in ,oint of fact2 t4o ,ersons. A%%!BAL#. Ah2 ! don1t thin: 4e can go into that. !t is a legal fiction2 and legal fictions are solemn things. Situated as 4e are2 4e can1t recogni3e t4o inde,endent res,onsibilities. G!'. %o> but you can recogni3e t4o inde,endent a,,etites. !t1s all very 4ell to say 4e act as one ,erson2 but 4hen you su,,ly us 4ith only one ration bet4een us2 ! should describe it as a legal fiction carried a little too far. A%%!. !t1s rather a nice ,oint. ! don1t li:e to e<,ress an o,inion off*hand. Su,,ose 4e reserve it for argument before the full 0ourt? MA . Des2 but 4hat are 4e to do in the meantime? MA . and G!'. We 4ant our tea.

A%%!. ! thin: 4e may ma:e an interim order for double rations on their Ma@esties entering into the usual underta:ing to indemnify in the event of an adverse decision? G!$ . That2 ! thin:2 4ill meet the case. But you must 4or: hard**stic: to it**nothing li:e 4or:. G!'. $h2 certainly. We .uite understand that a man 4ho holds the magnificent ,osition of King should do something to @ustify it. We are called GDour Ma@estyG> 4e are allo4ed to buy ourselves magnificent clothes> our sub@ects fre.uently nod to us in the streets> the sentries al4ays return our salutes> and 4e en@oy the inestimable ,rivilege of heading the subscri,tion lists to all the ,rinci,al charities. !n return for these advantages the least 4e can do is to ma:e ourselves useful about the "alace. S$%G**G!'S#""# 4ith 0&$ 'S. ising early in the morning2 We ,roceed to light the fire2 Then our Ma@esty adorning !n its 4or:aday attire2 We embar: 4ithout delay $n the duties of the day. (irst2 4e ,olish off some batches $f ,olitical des,atches2 And foreign ,oliticians circumvent> Then2 if business isn1t heavy2 We may hold a oyal levee2 $r ratify some Acts of "arliament. Then 4e ,robably revie4 the household troo,s** With the usual GShalloo hum,s=G and GShalloo hoo,s=G $r receive 4ith ceremonial and state An interesting #astern ,otentate. After that 4e generally Go and dress our ,rivate valet** +!t1s a rather nervous duty**he1s a touchy little man-** Write some letters literary (or our ,rivate secretary** &e is sha:y in his s,elling2 so 4e hel, him if 4e can. Then2 in vie4 of cravings inner2 We go do4n and order dinner> Then 4e ,olish the egalia and the 0oronation "late** S,end an hour in titivating All our Gentlemen*in*Waiting> $r 4e run on little errands for the Ministers of State. $h2 ,hiloso,hers may sing $f the troubles of a King> Det the duties are delightful2 and the ,rivileges great> But the ,rivilege and ,leasure That 4e treasure beyond measure !s to run on little errands for the Ministers of State. 0&$ 'S. $h2 ,hiloso,hers may sing2 etc. After luncheon +ma:ing merry $n a bun and glass of sherry-2 !f 4e1ve nothing in ,articular to do2

We may ma:e a "roclamation2 $r receive a de,utation** Then 4e ,ossibly create a "eer or t4o. Then 4e hel, a fello4*creature on his ,ath With the Garter or the Thistle or the Bath2 $r 4e dress and toddle off in semi*state To a festival2 a function2 or a fete. Then 4e go and stand as sentry At the "alace +,rivate entry-2 Marching hither2 marching thither2 u, and do4n and to and fro2 While the 4arrior on duty Goes in search of beer and beauty +And it generally ha,,ens that he hasn1t far to go-. &e relieves us2 if he1s able2 Aust in time to lay the table2 Then 4e dine and serve the coffee2 and at half*,ast t4elve or one2 With a ,leasure that1s em,hatic2 We retire to our attic With the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done= $h2 ,hiloso,hers may sing $f the troubles of a King2 But of ,leasures there are many and of 4orries there are none> And the culminating ,leasure That 4e treasure beyond measure !s the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done= 0&$ 'S. $h2 ,hiloso,hers may sing2 etc. Giuse,,e.+#<eunt all but Marco and

G!'. Des2 it really is a very ,leasant e<istence. They1re all so singularly :ind and considerate. Dou don1t find them 4anting to do this2 or 4anting to do that2 or saying G!t1s my turn no4.G %o2 they let us have all the fun to ourselves2 and never seem to grudge it. MA . !t ma:es one feel .uite selfish. !t almost seems li:e ta:ing advantage of their good nature. G!'. &o4 nice they 4ere about the double rations. MA . Most considerate. Ah= there1s only one thing 4anting to ma:e us thoroughly comfortable. G!'. And that is? MA . The dear little 4ives 4e left behind us three months ago. G!'. Des2 it is dull 4ithout female society. We can do 4ithout everything else2 but 4e can1t do 4ithout that. MA . And if 4e have that in ,erfection2 4e have everything. There is only one reci,e for ,erfect ha,,iness. S$%G**MA 0$. Ta:e a ,air of s,ar:ling eyes2 &idden2 ever and anon2 !n a merciful ecli,se** Do not heed their mild sur,rise** &aving ,assed the ubicon2 Ta:e a ,air of rosy li,s>

Ta:e a figure trimly ,lanned** Such as admiration 4hets** +Be ,articular in this-> Ta:e a tender little hand2 (ringed 4ith dainty fingerettes2 "ress it**in ,arenthesis>** Ah= Ta:e all these2 you luc:y man** Ta:e and :ee, them2 if you can= Ta:e a ,retty little cot** Buite a miniature affair** &ung about 4ith trellised vine2 (urnish it u,on the s,ot With the treasures rich and rare !1ve endeavoured to define. Live to love and love to live** Dou 4ill ri,en at your ease2 Gro4ing on the sunny side** (ate has nothing more to give. Dou1re a dainty man to ,lease !f you are not satisfied. Ah= Ta:e my counsel2 ha,,y man> Act u,on it2 if you can= +#nter 0horus of 0ontadine2 running in2 led by (iametta and /ittoria. They are met by all the #<*Gondoliers2 4ho 4elcome them heartily.S0#%#**0&$ 'S $( G! LS2 B'A T#T2 D'#T and 0&$ 'S. &ere 4e are2 at the ris: of our lives2 (rom ever so far2 and 4e1ve brought your 4ives** And to that end 4e1ve crossed the main2 And don1t intend to return again= (!A. Though obedience is strong2 0uriosity1s stronger** We 4aited for long2 Till 4e couldn1t 4ait longer. !t1s im,rudent2 4e :no42 But 4ithout your society #<istence 4as slo42 And 4e 4anted variety** #<istence 4as slo42 and 4e 4anted variety. So here 4e are2 at the ris: of our lives2 (rom ever so far2 and 4e1ve brought your 4ives** And to that end 4e1ve crossed the main2 And don1t intend to return again= They rush to the arms of Marco and

/!T.

B$T&. ALL.

+#nter Gianetta and Tessa. Giuse,,e.G!'. T#SS. G!A. Tessa= Giuse,,e= Marco=

IAll embrace.J

MA .

Gianetta= T#SSA and G!A%#TTA.

T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. B$T&.

After sailing to this island** Tossing in a manner frightful2 We are all once more on dry land** And 4e find the change delightful2 As at home 4e1ve been remaining** We1ve not seen you both for ages2 Tell me2 are you fond of reigning?** &o41s the food2 and 4hat1s the 4ages? Does your ne4 em,loyment ,lease ye?** &o4 does oyali3ing stri:e you? !s it difficult or easy?** Do you thin: your sub@ects li:e you? ! am an<ious to elicit2 !s it ,lain and easy steering? Ta:e it altogether2 is it Better fun than gondoliering? We shall both go on re.uesting Till you tell us2 never doubt it> #verything is interesting2 Tell us2 tell us all about it= They 4ill both go on re.uesting2 etc. !s the ,o,ulace e<acting? Do they :ee, you at a distance? All unaided are you acting2 $r do they ,rovide assistance? When you1re busy2 have you got to Get u, early in the morning? !f you do 4hat you ought not to2 Do they give the usual 4arning? With a horse do they e.ui, you? Lots of trum,eting and drumming? Do the oyal tradesmen ti, you? Ain1t the livery becoming= Does your human being inner (eed on everything that nice is? Do they give you 4ine for dinner> "eaches2 sugar*,lums2 and ices? We shall both go on re.uesting Till you tell us2 never doubt it> #verything is interesting2 Tell us2 tell us all about it= They 4ill both go on re.uesting2 etc.

0&$ 'S. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. T#SS. G!A. B$T&.

0&$ 'S.

MA . This is indeed a most delightful sur,rise= T#SS. Des2 4e thought you1d li:e it. Dou see2 it 4as li:e this. After you left 4e felt very dull and mo,ey2 and the days cra4led by2 and you never 4rote> so at last ! said to Gianetta2 G! can1t stand this any longer> those t4o ,oor Monarchs haven1t got any one to mend their stoc:ings or se4 on their buttons or ,atch their clothes**at least2 ! ho,e they haven1t**let us all ,ac: u, a change and go and see

ho4 they1re getting on.G And she said2 GDone2G and they all said2 GDoneG> and 4e as:ed old Giaco,o to lend us his boat2 and he said2 GDoneG> and 4e1ve crossed the sea2 and2 than: goodness2 that1s done> and here 4e are2 and**and**!1ve done= G!A. And no4**4hich of you is King? T#SS. And 4hich of us is Bueen? G!'. That 4e shan1t :no4 until %urse turns u,. But never mind that**the .uestion is2 ho4 shall 4e celebrate the commencement of our honeymoon? Gentlemen2 4ill you allo4 us to offer you a magnificent ban.uet? ALL. We 4ill= G!'. Than:s very much> and2 ladies2 4hat do you say to a dance? T#SS. A ban.uet and a dance= $2 it1s too much ha,,iness= 0&$ 'S and DA%0#. Dance a cachucha2 fandango2 bolero2 Heres 4e1ll drin:**Man3anilla2 Montero** Wine2 4hen it runs in abundance2 enhances The rec:less delight of that 4ildest of dances= To the ,retty ,itter*,itter*,atter2 And the clitter*clitter*clitter*clatter** 0litter**clitter**clatter2 "itter**,itter**,atter2 "atter2 ,atter2 ,atter2 ,atter2 4e1ll dance. $ld Heres 4e1ll drin:**Man3anilla2 Montero> (or 4ine2 4hen it runs in abundance2 enhances The rec:less delight of that 4ildest of dances= +0achucha.+The dance is interru,ted by the une<,ected a,,earance of Don Alhambra2 4ho loo:s on 4ith astonishment. Marco and Giuse,,e a,,ear embarrassed. The others run off2 e<ce,t Drummer Boy2 4ho is driven off by Don Alhambra.D$% AL. Good evening. (ancy ball? G!'. %o2 not e<actly. A little friendly dance. That1s all. Sorry you1re late. D$% AL. But ! sa4 a groom dancing2 and a footman= MA . Des. That1s the Lord &igh (ootman. D$% AL. And2 dear me2 a common little drummer boy= G!'. $h no= That1s the Lord &igh Drummer Boy. D$% AL. But surely2 surely the servants1*hall is the ,lace for these gentry? G!'. $h dear no= We have a,,ro,riated the servants1*hall. !t1s the oyal A,artment2 and accessible only by tic:ets obtainable at the Lord 0hamberlain1s office. MA . We really must have some ,lace that 4e can call our o4n. D$% AL. +,u33led-. !1m afraid !1m not .uite e.ual to the intellectual ,ressure of the conversation. G!'. Dou see2 the Monarchy has been re*modelled on e,ublican ,rinci,les. D$% AL. What= G!'. All de,artments ran: e.ually2 and everybody is at the head of his de,artment. D$% AL. ! see.

MA . !1m afraid you1re annoyed. D$% AL. %o. ! 4on1t say that. !t1s not .uite 4hat ! e<,ected. G!'. !1m a4fully sorry. MA . So am !. G!'. By the by2 can ! offer you anything after your voyage? A ,late of macaroni and a rus:? D$% AL. +,reoccu,ied-. %o2 no**nothing**nothing. G!'. $bliged to be careful? D$% AL. Des**gout. Dou see2 in every 0ourt there are distinctions that must be observed. G!'. +,u33led-. There are2 are there? D$% AL. Why2 of course. (or instance2 you 4ouldn1t have a Lord &igh 0hancellor ,lay lea,frog 4ith his o4n coo:. MA . Why not? D$% AL. Why not= Because a Lord &igh 0hancellor is a ,ersonage of great dignity2 4ho should never2 under any circumstances2 ,lace himself in the ,osition of being told to tuc: in his tu,,enny2 e<ce,t by noblemen of his o4n ran:. A Lord &igh Archbisho,2 for instance2 might tell a Lord &igh 0hancellor to tuc: in his tu,,enny2 but certainly not a coo:2 gentlemen2 certainly not a coo:. G!'. %ot even a Lord &igh 0oo:? D$% AL. My good friend2 that is a ran: that is not recogni3ed at the Lord 0hamberlain1s office. %o2 no2 it 4on1t do. !1ll give you an instance in 4hich the e<,eriment 4as tried. S$%G**D$% AL&AMB A2 4ith MA 0$ and G!'S#""#. D$% AL. There lived a King2 as !1ve been told2 !n the 4onder*4or:ing days of old2 When hearts 4ere t4ice as good as gold2 And t4enty times as mello4. Good*tem,er trium,hed in his face2 And in his heart he found a ,lace (or all the erring human race And every 4retched fello4. When he had henish 4ine to drin: !t made him very sad to thin: That some2 at @un:et or at @in:2 Must be content 4ith toddy. MA . and G!'. With toddy2 must be content 4ith toddy.

D$% AL. &e 4ished all men as rich as he +And he 4as rich as rich could be-2 So to the to, of every tree "romoted everybody. MA . and G!'. %o42 that1s the :ind of King for me. &e 4ished all men as rich as he2 So to the to, of every tree "romoted everybody=

D$% AL. Lord 0hancellors 4ere chea, as s,rats2 And Bisho,s in their shovel hats Were ,lentiful as tabby cats** !n ,oint of fact2 too many. Ambassadors cro,,ed u, li:e hay2

"rime Ministers and such as they Gre4 li:e as,aragus in May2 And Du:es 4ere three a ,enny. $n every side (ield*Marshals gleamed2 Small beer 4ere Lords*Lieutenant deemed2 With Admirals the ocean teemed All round his 4ide dominions. MA . and G!'. With Admirals all round his 4ide dominions.

D$% AL. And "arty Leaders you might meet !n t4os and threes in every street Maintaining2 4ith no little heat2 Their various o,inions. MA . and G!'. %o4 that1s a sight you couldn1t beat** T4o "arty Leaders in each street Maintaining2 4ith no little heat2 Their various o,inions.

D$% AL. That King2 although no one denies &is heart 4as of abnormal si3e2 Det he1d have acted other4ise !f he had been acuter. The end is easily foretold2 When every blessed thing you hold !s made of silver2 or of gold2 Dou long for sim,le ,e4ter. When you have nothing else to 4ear But cloth of gold and satins rare2 (or cloth of gold you cease to care** ', goes the ,rice of shoddy. MA . and G!'. $f shoddy2 u, goes the ,rice of shoddy.

D$% AL. !n short2 4hoever you may be2 To this conclusion you1ll agree2 When every one is somebodee2 Then no one1s anybody= MA . and G!'. ALL. %o4 that1s as ,lain as ,lain can be2 To this conclusion 4e agree** When every one is somebodee2 Then no one1s anybody=

+Gianetta and Tessa enter unobserved. The t4o girls2 im,elled by curiosity2 remain listening at the bac: of the stage.D$% AL. And no4 ! have some im,ortant ne4s to communicate. &is Grace the Du:e of "la3a*Toro2 &er Grace the Duchess2 and their beautiful daughter 0asilda**! say their beautiful daughter 0asilda** G!'. We heard you. D$% AL. &ave arrived at Barataria2 and may be here at any moment. MA . The Du:e and Duchess are nothing to us.

D$% AL. But the daughter**the beautiful daughter= Aha= $h2 you1re a luc:y dog2 one of you= G!'. ! thin: you1re a very incom,rehensible old gentleman. D$% AL. %ot a bit**!1ll e<,lain. Many years ago 4hen you +4hichever you are- 4ere a baby2 you +4hichever you are- 4ere married to a little girl 4ho has gro4n u, to be the most beautiful young lady in S,ain. That beautiful young lady 4ill be here to claim you +4hichever you are- in half an hour2 and ! congratulate that one +4hichever it is- 4ith all my heart. MA . Married 4hen a baby= G!'. But 4e 4ere married three months ago= D$% AL. $ne of you**only one. The other +4hichever it is- is an unintentional bigamist. G!A. and T#SS. +coming for4ard-. Well2 u,on my 4ord= D$% AL. #h? Who are these young ,eo,le? T#SS. Who are 4e? Why2 their 4ives2 of course. We1ve @ust arrived. D$% AL. Their 4ives= $h dear2 this is very unfortunate= $h dear2 this com,licates matters= Dear2 dear2 4hat 4ill &er Ma@esty say? G!A. And do you mean to say that one of these Monarchs 4as already married? T#SS. And that neither of us 4ill be a Bueen? D$% AL. That is the idea ! intended to convey. +Tessa and Gianetta begin to cry.G!'. +to Tessa-. Tessa2 my dear2 dear child** T#SS. Get a4ay= ,erha,s it1s you= MA . +to Gia.-. My ,oor2 ,oor little 4oman= G!A. Don1t= Who :no4s 4hose husband you are? T#SS. And ,ray2 4hy didn1t you tell us all about it before they left /enice? D$% AL. Because2 if ! had2 no earthly tem,tation 4ould have induced these gentlemen to leave t4o such e<tremely fascinating and utterly irresistible little ladies= T#SS. There1s something in that. D$% AL. ! may mention that you 4ill not be :e,t long in sus,ense2 as the old lady 4ho nursed the oyal child is at ,resent in the torture chamber2 4aiting for me to intervie4 her. G!'. "oor old girl. &adn1t you better go and ,ut her out of her sus,ense? D$% AL. $h no**there1s no hurry**she1s all right. She has all the illustrated ,a,ers. &o4ever2 !1ll go and interrogate her2 and2 in the meantime2 may ! suggest the absolute ,ro,riety of your regarding yourselves as single young ladies. Good evening= +#<it Don Alhambra.G!A. Well2 here1s a ,leasant state of things= MA . Delightful. $ne of us is married to t4o young ladies2 and nobody :no4s 4hich> and the other is married to one young lady 4hom nobody can identify= G!A. And one of us is married to one of you2 and the other is married to nobody. T#SS. But 4hich of you is married to 4hich of us2 and 4hat1s to become of the other? +About to cry.G!'. !t1s .uite sim,le. $bserve. T4o husbands have managed to ac.uire three 4ives. Three 4ives**t4o husbands. + ec:oning u,.That1s t4o*thirds of a husband to each 4ife.

T#SS. $ Mount /esuvius2 here 4e are in arithmetic= My good sir2 one can1t marry a vulgar fraction= G!'. Dou1ve no right to call me a vulgar fraction. MA . We are getting rather mi<ed. The situation is entangled. Let1s try and comb it out. B'A T#T**MA 0$2 G!'S#""#2 G!A%#TTA2 T#SSA. !n a contem,lative fashion2 And a tran.uil frame of mind2 (ree from every :ind of ,assion2 Some solution let us find. Let us gras, the situation2 Solve the com,licated ,lot** Buiet2 calm deliberation Disentangles every :not. T#SS.!2 no doubt2 Giuse,,e 4edded** T&# $T&# S. contem,lative That1s2 of course2 a slice of luc: fashion2 etc. &e is rather dunder*headed. Still distinctly2 he1s a duc:. G!A. !2 a victim2 too2 of 0u,id2 Let us gras, the Marco married * that is clear. situation2 etc. &e1s ,articularly stu,id2 Still distinctly2 he1s a dear. MA . To Gianetta ! 4as mated> !n a contem,lative ! can ,rove it in a trice; fashion2 etc. Though her charms are overrated2 Still ! o4n she1s rather nice. ! to Tessa2 4illy*nilly2 Let us gras, the All at once a victim fell. situation2 etc. She is 4hat is called a silly2 Still she ans4ers ,retty 4ell. !n a

T&# $T&# S.

T&# $T&# S.

G!'.

T&# $T&# S.

MA . G!A. ear. G!'. T#SS.

%o4 4hen 4e 4ere ,retty babies Some one married us2 that1s clear** And if ! can catch her !1ll ,inch her and scratch her And send her a4ay 4ith a flea in her &e 4hom that young lady married2 To receive her can1t refuse. !f ! overta:e her

!1ll 4arrant !1ll ma:e her To sha:e in her aristocratical shoes= G!A. +to Tess.-. T#SS. +to Gia.-. !f she married your Giuse,,e Dou and he 4ill have to ,art** !f ! have to do it !1ll 4arrant she1ll rue it** !1ll teach her to marry the man of my heart= !f she married Messer Marco Dou1re a s,inster2 that is ,lain** %o matter**no matter. !f ! can get at her ! doubt if her mother 4ill :no4 her again=

T#SS. +to Gia.-. G!A. +to Tess.-.

ALL.

Buiet2 calm deliberation Disentangles every :not= +#<eunt2

,ondering.-

+March. #nter ,rocession of etainers2 heralding a,,roach of Du:e2 Duchess2 and 0asilda. All three are no4 dressed 4ith the utmost magnificence.0&$ 'S $( M#%2 4ith D'K# and D'0&#SS. With ducal ,om, and ducal ,ride +Announce these comers2 $ ye :ettle*drummers=0omes Barataria1s high*born bride. +De sounding cymbals clang=She comes to claim the oyal hand** +"roclaim their Graces2 $ ye double basses=$f the King 4ho rules this goodly land. +De bra3en brasses bang=D'K# and D'0&. This ,olite attention touches &eart of Du:e and heart of Duchess Who resign their ,et With ,rofound regret. She of beauty 4as a model When a tiny tiddle*toddle2 And at t4enty*one She1s e<celled by none= With ducal ,om, and ducal ,ride2 etc.

0&$ 'S.

D'K# +to his attendants-. Be good enough to inform &is Ma@esty that &is Grace the Du:e of "la3a*Toro2 Limited2 has arrived2 and begs** 0AS. Desires** D'0&. Demands**

D'K#. And demands an audience. +#<eunt attendants.- And no42 my child2 ,re,are to receive the husband to 4hom you 4ere united under such interesting and romantic circumstances. 0AS. But 4hich is it? There are t4o of them= D'K#. !t is true that at ,resent &is Ma@esty is a double gentleman> but as soon as the circumstances of his marriage are ascertained2 he 4ill2 i,so facto2 boil do4n to a single gentleman**thus ,resenting a uni.ue e<am,le of an individual 4ho becomes a single man and a married man by the same o,eration. D'0&. +severely-. ! have :no4n instances in 4hich the characteristics of both conditions e<isted concurrently in the same individual. D'K#. Ah2 he couldn1t have been a "la3a*Toro. D'0&. $h= couldn1t he2 though= 0AS. Well2 4hatever ha,,ens2 ! shall2 of course2 be a dutiful 4ife2 but ! can never love my husband. D'K#. ! don1t :no4. !t1s e<traordinary 4hat un,re,ossessing ,eo,le one can love if one gives one1s mind to it. D'0&. ! loved your father. D'K#. My love**that remar: is a little hard2 ! thin:? ather cruel2 ,erha,s? Some4hat uncalled*for2 ! venture to believe? D'0&. !t 4as very difficult2 my dear> but ! said to myself2 GThat man is a Du:e2 and ! 4ill love him.G Several of my relations bet me ! couldn1t2 but ! did**des,erately= S$%G**D'0&#SS. $n the day 4hen ! 4as 4edded To your admirable sire2 ! ac:no4ledge that ! dreaded An e<,losion of his ire. ! 4as overcome 4ith ,anic** (or his tem,er 4as volcanic2 And ! didn1t dare revolt2 (or ! feared a thunderbolt= ! 4as al4ays very 4ary2 (or his fury 4as ecstatic** &is refined vocabulary Most un,leasantly em,hatic. To the thunder $f this Tartar ! :noc:ed under Li:e a martyr> When intently &e 4as fuming2 ! 4as gently 'nassuming** When reviling Me com,letely2 ! 4as smiling /ery s4eetly; Giving him the very best2 and getting bac: the very 4orst** That is ho4 ! tried to tame your great ,rogenitor**at first= But ! found that a reliance $n my threatening a,,earance2 And a resolute defiance $f marital interference2

And a gentle intimation $f my firm determination To see 4hat ! could do To be 4ife and husband too Was the only thing re.uired (or to ma:e his tem,er su,,le2 And you couldn1t have desired A more reci,rocating cou,le. #ver 4illing To be 4ooing2 We 4ere billing** We 4ere cooing> When ! merely (rom him ,arted2 We 4ere nearly Bro:en*hearted** When in se.uel eunited2 We 4ere e.ual* Ly delighted. So 4ith double*shotted guns and colours nailed unto the mast2 ! tamed your insignificant ,rogenitor**at last= 0AS. My only ho,e is that 4hen my husband sees 4hat a shady family he has married into he 4ill re,udiate the contract altogether. D'K#. Shady? A nobleman shady2 4ho is bla3ing in the lustre of unaccustomed ,oc:et*money? A nobleman shady2 4ho can loo: bac: u,on ninety*five .uarterings? !t is not every nobleman 4ho is ninety*five .uarters in arrear**! mean2 4ho can loo: bac: u,on ninety*five of them= And this2 @ust as ! have been floated at a ,remium= $h fie= D'0&. Dour Ma@esty is surely una4are that directly your Ma@esty1s father came before the ,ublic he 4as a,,lied for over and over again. D'K#. My dear2 &er Ma@esty1s father 4as in the habit of being a,,lied for over and over again**and very urgently a,,lied for2 too** long before he 4as registered under the Limited Liability Act. #0!TAT!/#**D'K#. To hel, unha,,y commoners2 and add to their en@oyment2 Affords a man of noble ran: congenial em,loyment> $f our attem,ts 4e offer you e<am,les illustrative; The 4or: is light2 and2 ! may add2 it1s most remunerative. D'#T**D'K# and D'0&#SS. D'K#. Small titles and orders (or Mayors and ecorders ! get**and they1re highly delighted** They1re highly delighted= M.".1s baronetted2 Sham 0olonels ga3etted2 And second*rate Aldermen :nighted** Des2 Aldermen :nighted.

D'0&. D'K#.

D'0&.

D'K#.

(oundation*stone laying ! find very ,aying; !t adds a large sum to my ma:ings** Large sums to his ma:ings. At charity dinners The best of s,eech*s,inners2 ! get ten ,er cent on the ta:ings** $ne*tenth of the ta:ings. ! ,resent any lady Whose conduct is shady $r smac:ing of doubtful ,ro,riety** Doubtful ,ro,riety. When /irtue 4ould .uash her2 ! ta:e and 4hite4ash her2 And launch her in first*rate society** (irst*rate society= ! recommend acres $f clumsy dressma:ers** Their fit and their finishing touches** Their finishing touches. A sum in addition They ,ay for ,ermission To say that they ma:e for the Duchess** They ma:e for the Duchess= Those ,ressing ,revailers2 The ready*made tailors2 Buote me as their great double*barrel** Their great double*barrel** ! allo4 them to do so2 Though obinson 0rusoe Would @ib at their 4earing a,,arel** Such 4earing a,,arel= ! sit2 by selection2 ',on the direction $f several 0om,anies bubble** All 0om,anies bubble= As soon as they1re floated !1m freely ban:*noted**

D'0&. D'K#.

D'0&. D'0&.

D'K#. D'0&.

D'K#. D'0&.

D'K#. D'0&.

D'K#. D'K#.

D'0&. D'K#.

D'0&. D'K#.

D'0&. D'K#.

!1m ,retty 4ell ,aid for my trouble** D'0&. D'0&. &e1s ,aid for his trouble= At middle*class ,arty ! ,lay at ecarte** And !1m by no means a beginner** She1s not a beginner.

D'K# +significantly-. D'0&.

To one of my station The remuneration** (ive guineas a night and my dinner** And 4ine 4ith her dinner. ! 4rite letters blatant $n medicines ,atent** And use any other you mustn1t** Believe me2 you mustn1t** And vo4 my com,le<ion Derives its ,erfection (rom somebody1s soa,**4hich it doesn1t** !t certainly doesn1t=

D'K#. D'0&.

D'K#. D'0&.

D'K#. +significantly-. D'K#.

We1re ready as 4itness To any one1s fitness To fill any ,lace or ,referment** A ,lace or ,referment. We1re often in 4aiting At @un:et or feting2 And sometimes attend an interment** We en@oy an interment. !n short2 if you1d :indle The s,ar: of a s4indle2 Lure sim,letons into your clutches** Des> into your clutches. $r hood4in: a debtor2 Dou cannot do better Than trot out a Du:e or a Duchess** A Du:e or a Duchess=

D'0&. D'0&.

D'K#. B$T&.

D'0&. D'K#.

+#nter Marco and Giuse,,e.D'K#. Ah= Their Ma@esties. Dour Ma@esty= ceremony.MA . The Du:e of "la3a*Toro2 ! believe? +Bo4s 4ith great

D'K#. The same. +Marco and Giuse,,e offer to sha:e hands 4ith him. The Du:e bo4s ceremoniously. They endeavour to imitate him.Allo4 me to ,resent** G!'. The young lady one of us married? +Marco and Giuse,,e offer to sha:e hands 4ith her. formally. They endeavour to imitate her.+Aside.0asilda curtsies

0AS. Gentlemen2 ! am the most obedient servant of one of you. $h2 Lui3= D'K#. ! am no4 about to address myself to the gentleman 4hom my daughter married> the other may allo4 his attention to 4ander if he li:es2 for 4hat ! am about to say does not concern him. Sir2 you 4ill find in this young lady a combination of e<cellences 4hich you 4ould search for in vain in any young lady 4ho had not the good fortune to be my daughter. There is some little doubt as to 4hich of you is the gentleman ! am addressing2 and 4hich is the gentleman 4ho is allo4ing his attention to 4ander> but 4hen that doubt is solved2 ! shall say +still addressing the attentive gentleman-2 GTa:e her2 and may she ma:e you ha,,ier than her mother has made me.G D'0&. Sir= D'K#. !f ,ossible. And no4 there is a little matter to 4hich ! thin: ! am entitled to ta:e e<ce,tion. ! come here in state 4ith &er Grace the Duchess and &er Ma@esty my daughter2 and 4hat do ! find? Do ! find2 for instance2 a guard of honour to receive me? %o= MA . and G!'. %o. D'K#. The to4n illuminated? %o= MA . and G!'. %o. D'K#. efreshment ,rovided? %o= MA . and G!'. %o. D'K#. A oyal salute fired? %o= MA . and G!'. %o. D'K#. Trium,hal arches erected? %o= MA . and G!'. %o. D'K#. The bells set ringing? MA . and G!'. %o. D'K#. Des**one**the /isitors12 and ! rang it myself. !t is not enough= !t is not enough= G!'. ',on my honour2 !1m very sorry> but you see2 ! 4as brought u, in a gondola2 and my ideas of ,oliteness are confined to ta:ing off my ca, to my ,assengers 4hen they ti, me. D'0&. That1s all very 4ell in its 4ay2 but it is not enough. G!'. !1ll ta:e off anything else in reason. D'K#. But a oyal Salute to my daughter**it costs so little. 0AS. "a,a2 ! don1t 4ant a salute. G!'. My dear sir2 as soon as 4e :no4 4hich of us is entitled to ta:e that liberty she shall have as many salutes as she li:es. MA . As for guards of honour and trium,hal arches2 you don1t :no4 our ,eo,le**they 4ouldn1t stand it. G!'. They are very off*hand 4ith us**very off*hand indeed. D'K#. $h2 but you mustn1t allo4 that**you must :ee, them in ,ro,er disci,line2 you must im,ress your 0ourt 4ith your im,ortance. Dou 4ant de,ortment**carriage** G!'. We1ve got a carriage. D'K#. Manner**dignity. There must be a good deal of this sort of thing**+business-**and a little of this sort of thing**+business-** and ,ossibly @ust a Sou,con of this sort of thing=**+business-**and so

on. $h2 it1s very useful2 and most effective. are a King**! am a sub@ect. /ery good** +Gavotte.-

Aust attend to me.

Dou

D'K#2 D'0&#SS2 0AS!LDA2 MA 0$2 G!'S#""#. D'K#. ! am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to :iss your hand; Try to combine a ,ose im,erious With a demeanour nobly bland. Let us combine a ,ose im,erious With a demeanour nobly bland.

MA . and G!'.

+Marco and Giuse,,e endeavour to carry out his instructions.D'K#. That1s2 if anything2 too unbending** Too aggressively stiff and grand>

+They suddenly modify their attitudes.%o4 to the other e<treme you1re tending** Don1t be so deucedly condescending= D'0&. and 0AS. MA . and G!'. %o4 to the other e<treme you1re tending** Don1t be so dreadfully condescending= $h2 hard to ,lease some noblemen seem= At first2 if anything2 too unbending> $ff 4e go to the other e<treme** Too confoundedly condescending= %o4 a gavotte ,erform sedately** $ffer your hand 4ith conscious ,ride> Ta:e an attitude not too stately2 Still sufficiently dignified. %o4 for an attitude not too stately2 Still sufficiently dignified.

D'K#.

MA . and G!'.

+They endeavour to carry out his instructions.D'K# +beating time-. so.both**you1ve caught it nicely= D'0&. and caught it nicely= 0AS. MA . and $ncely2 t4icely**oncely2 t4icely** Bo4 im,ressively ere you glide. +They do 0a,ital both2 ca,ital That is the style of thing ,recisely= 0a,ital both2 ca,ital both**they1ve That is the style of thing ,recisely= $h2 s4eet to earn a nobleman1s ,raise=

G!'. it nicely=

0a,ital both2 ca,ital both**4e1ve caught

Su,,osing he1s right in 4hat he says2 This is the style of thing ,recisely= +Gavotte. At the end e<eunt Du:e and Duchess2 leaving 0asilda 4ith Marco and Giuse,,e.G!'. +to Marco-. The old birds have gone a4ay and left the young chic:ens together. That1s called tact. MA . !t1s very a4:4ard. We really ought to tell her ho4 4e are situated. !t1s not fair to the girl. G!'. Then 4hy don1t you do it? MA . !1d rather not**you. G!'. ! don1t :no4 ho4 to begin. +To 0asilda.- #r**Madam**!** 4e2 that is2 several of us** 0AS. Gentlemen2 ! am bound to listen to you> but it is right to tell you that2 not :no4ing ! 4as married in infancy2 ! am over head and ears in love 4ith somebody else. G!'. $ur case e<actly= We are over head and ears in love 4ith somebody else= +#nter Gianetta and Tessa.- !n ,oint of fact2 4ith our 4ives= 0AS. Dour 4ives= Then you are married? T#SS. !t1s not our fault. G!A. We :ne4 nothing about it. B$T&. We are sisters in misfortune. 0AS. My good girls2 ! don1t blame you. $nly before 4e go any further 4e must really arrive at some satisfactory arrangement2 or 4e shall get ho,elessly com,licated. B'!%T#T A%D (!%AL#. MA 0$2 G!'S#""#2 0AS!LDA2 G!A%#TTA2 T#SSA. ALL. &ere is a case un,recedented= &ere are a King and Bueen ill*starred= #ver since marriage 4as first invented %ever 4as :no4n a case so hard= ! may be said to have been bisected2 By a ,rofound catastro,he= Through a calamity une<,ected ! am divisible into three= $ moralists &o4 can you Marriage a state of When e<cellent husbands are And 4ives divisible $ moralists &o4 can you Marriage a state of all2 call unitee2 bisected2 into three? all2 call union true?

MA . and G!'. 0AS.2 G!A.2 T#SS. ALL.

0AS.2 G!A.2 T#SS.

$ne*third of myself is married to half of ye or you2

MA . and G!'.

When half of myself has married one*third of ye or you?

+#nter Don Alhambra2 follo4ed by Du:e2 Duchess2 and all the 0horus.(!%AL#. #0!TAT!/#**D$% AL&AMB A. %o4 The She The 0&$ 'S. let the loyal lieges gather round** "rince1s foster*mother has been found= 4ill declare2 to silver clarion1s sound2 rightful King**let him forth4ith be cro4ned=

She 4ill declare2 etc.

+Don Alhambra brings for4ard !ne32 the "rince1s foster*mother.T#SS. S,ea:2 4oman2 s,ea:** D'K#. We1re all attention= G!A. The ne4s 4e see:* D'0&. This moment mention. 0AS. To us they bring** D$% AL. &is foster*mother. MA . !s he the King? G!'. $r this my brother? ALL. S,ea:2 4oman2 s,ea:2 etc. #0!TAT!/#**!%#). The oyal "rince 4as by the King entrusted To my fond care2 ere ! gre4 old and crusted> When traitors came to steal his son re,uted2 My o4n small boy ! deftly substituted= The villains fell into the tra, com,letely** ! hid the "rince a4ay**still slee,ing s4eetly; ! called him GsonG 4ith ,ardonable slyness** &is name2 Lui3= Behold his oyal &ighness= +Sensation. Lui3 ascends the throne2 cro4ned and robed as King.Lui3=

0AS. +rushing to his arms-. L'!). 0asilda= +#mbrace.ALL.

!s this indeed the King? $h2 4ondrous revelation= $h2 une<,ected thing= 'nloo:ed*for situation= This statement 4e receive With sentiments conflicting> $ur hearts re@oice and grieve2 #ach other contradicting> To those 4hom 4e adore We can be reunited**

MA .2 G!A.2 G!'.2 T#SS.

$n one ,oint rather sore2 But2 on the 4hole2 delighted= L'!). D'K#. 0AS. D'0&. ALL. When others claimed thy dainty hand2 ! 4aited**4aited**4aited2 As ,rudence +so ! understandDictated**tated**tated. By virtue of our early vo4 ecorded**corded**corded2 Dour ,ure and ,atient love is no4 e4arded**4arded**4arded. Then hail2 $ King And the high*born The ,ast is dead2 A royal cro4n and of a Golden Land2 bride 4ho claims his hand= and you gain your o4n2 a golden throne=

+All :neel; Lui3 cro4ns 0asilda.ALL. $nce more gondolieri2 Both s:ilful and 4ary2 (ree from this .uandary 0ontented are 4e. Ah= (rom oyalty flying2 $ur gondolas ,lying2 And merrily crying $ur G,reme2G Gstali=G

Ah=

So good*bye2 cachucha2 fandango2 bolero** We1ll dance a fare4ell to that measure** $ld Heres2 adieu**Man3anilla**Montero** We leave you 4ith feelings of ,leasure= 9 0' TA!%