C ONTENTS

LEA D ER S
GU ID E

Fi n d Yo u r Stro n g e s t Lif e Di sc u ssi on Seri es

Overview Leader Preparation Preparation Timeline Guide Design and Structure

C ORE CONTENTS
Session 1: Somethings Got to Give 1. In This Session... 2. Series Introduction 3. Group Introductions 4. What to Expect 5. Review Session 1 Questions 6. Wrap Up/Homework Session 2: Follow the SIGNs 1. In This Session... 2. Welcome and Overview 3. Review Session 2 Questions 4. Wrap Up/Homework Session 3: The True You 1. In This Session... 2. Welcome and Overview 3. Review Session 3 Questions 4. Wrap Up/Homework Session 4: Beautiful Imbalance 1. In This Session... 2. Welcome and Overview 3. Review Session 4 Questions 4. Wrap Up/Homework Session 5: Stronger Everywhere 1. In This Session... 2. Welcome and Overview 3. Review Session 5 Questions 4. Wrap Up/Homework Session 6: Getting Even Stronger 1. In This Session... 2. Welcome and Overview 3. Review Session 6 Questions 4. Wrap Up/Homework Session 7: Introduction to Strong Life Plans (optional) Session 8: Progress Review (optional)

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

OVERVIEW
This Leaders Guide is designed to help you facilitate a series of discussions about Marcus Buckinghams book Find Your Strongest Life. Over the course of six to eight sessions, you will help members of your group think through, discuss, and apply the concepts they encounter in this book. The rst six sessions follow the order of the book chapters, grouping them based on the logical steps Marcus uses to present his overall approach to building a strong life. The nal two sessions branch out from the book to consider Strong Life Plans, simple guides for implementing specic changes in your life. You should plan between 60-90 minutes for each of the following sessions: Session 1 Session 2 Session 3 Session 4 Session 5 Session 6 Session 7 Session 8

chapters 1-3 chapters 4-6 chapters 7-8 chapter 9 chapters 10-12 chapters 13-14 N/A N/A

Somethings Got to Give Follow the SIGNs The True You Beautiful Imbalance Stronger Everywhere Getting Even Stronger Introduction to Strong Life Plans (optional) Review of Strong Life Plan Progress (optional)

Each session provides key passages, questions, and sometimes exercises related to the content of the chapters involved. Some of the questions are provocative, some urge you to share your experiences with others, and some are more personalquestions you might answer for yourself alone.

LeADer PrepArATioN
A little preparation will go a long way towards successfully facilitating this discussion series. To prepare, familiarize yourself with the following: 1. Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham 2. This Leaders Guide (bring your copy with you to each of the sessions) 3. The Participants Guidethis workbook will be used by people who attend the Discussion Series. It is available for download online: MarcusBuckingham.com/StrongLife 4. The Find Your Strongest Life introductory video from Marcus available online: MarcusBuckingham.com/StrongLife

Remember: As the discussion leader, you play a crucial role in creating a welcoming and safe environment, a place where everyone in your group feels not only willing but eager to participate. You should be prepared to lead the discussion by example and share your own thoughts and experiences to prompt discussion, while ensuring that everyone gets a chance to participate. The most important part of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion Series is the people. The more you get people talking and sharing, the more everyone will learn. Keep the personalities and interests of your groups participants in mind as you work your way through the book and discussion questions. Feel free to personalize the content to your group members where appropriate, while always being mindful not to put anyone uncomfortably on the spot.

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

PrepArATioN TiMeliNe
Time 2-3 weeks prior to the rst session Action Items
Send out a letter or e-mail to the participants with directions to: Purchase the book Download the Participants Guide at MarcusBuckingham.com/StrongLife Tell participants to read the introduction and chapters 1-3 before the first session and write down their answers to the questions in the Participants Guide Indicate when and where the first session (and subsequent sessions, if known) will be held NOTE: you may want to provide copies of the book and Participants Guide instead of asking participants to obtain them individually Get prepared to facilitate the discussion series Review all the materials delineated in the Leader Preparation segment of this manual In your own Participants Guide, write down your answers to the questions you will be asking in the session, so that you are prepared to share your answers with participants at the appropriate time Send an e-mail out reminding participants to complete their reading (introduction and chapters 1-3) and answer the rst set of questions in their Participants Guide Determine what set-up will be required to show the Find Your Strongest Life introductory video from Marcus at the rst session Get materials ready Send out a short looking forward to seeing you tomorrow e-mail reminder to all participants

2 weeks prior

1 day prior

GUiDe DeSigN AND STrUCTUre

This Leaders Guide has been designed to provide you with all the support you need to facilitate this discussion series. You can expect: Goals for each session Facilitation tips Time guidelines to keep discussion on track for 60-to-90-minute sessions Exercise instructions Questions to stimulate discussion Content: The goals for each session are highlighted in the pink-colored box at the beginning of each session. The core discussion questions (which mirror the discussion questions presented in the Participants Guide) and specic instructions for exercises are outlined by a purple-colored box. The specic corresponding Participants Guide page numbers are referenced in the upper right corner at the beginning of each session. Sessions end with a Wrap Up/Homework section in the blue colored box, which includes pointers for how to close the session and reminders of what information needs to be relayed to participants before they leave.

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

VISUAL CUES

p.xiii-45

p.#-#

At the top of each session, you will nd two icons that indicate: Corresponding book pages Corresponding Participants Guide pages

Tips are distinctions and suggestions for how to facilitate a particular piece of content in the best possible way. They are noted by a pencil icon toward the left margin of the page and highlighted in green.

Mirror icons toward the left margin of the page note places where it is particularly helpful for discussion leaders to add their own stories or examples.

Quotations from the book are are in bold type. The cartoon talk box icon in the margin will let you know where they begin.

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 1
In

So M et H ing s Got To G iV E

p.xi-46

p.4-8

THIS SESSION... Set the context for the discussion series and help participants understand what they can expect Build the groups rapport and create a safe environment within which people can share Introduce a new concept of Having it All knowing yourself well enough to know where you will find your purpose in life. Review the data about the state of womens happiness today and discuss the influence of choice and the expectations of multi-tasking

Introduce tHe FIND YOUR STRONGEsT LIfE Discussion Series: (10 Min) Welcome people to the Discussion Series. Introduce yourself and share something personal that explains your passion for the material. Show the Find Your Strongest Life introductory video from Marcus. Give a brief overview of the purpose of the discussion series, defining the next six (or eight) sessions as an opportunity to increase self-awareness and start taking action toward creating a happier and more fullled life. GrouP Introductions /OutcoMes: (aBout 2 Min Per Person) Name A few details: job, where each person lives, marital status, if she has kids Biggest challenge each person is facing right now in her life Why each person is attending the discussion series / what she hopes to get out of it TIP: Model this activity for people so you can demonstrate how much time you would like people to spend talking about themselves and the type of things you want people to talk about. If you share openly, this will encourage other people to do the same. WHat to EXPect: (5 Min) Cover any housekeeping information 1) Future sessions: Time Place Length (between 60-90 min) 2) Check in to see if everyone has done their homework for this initial session. 3) Homework Explain that, for each session, participants should read the Find Your Strongest Life chapters and appropriate sections of the Participants Guide in advance, writing their answers in their Guides and completing any exercises.

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

REVIEW SeSSioN 1 QUESTIONS (60 MiN)

Introduction and TEN MYTHS 1. To begin the book, Marcus lists Ten Myths about the Lives of Women (p. xi-xiii). Which of these statements did you think were true? What impact do the facts that Marcus presents have on your outlook and expectations? Having it all doesnt mean having everything, all at once, all the time. Having it all means taking yourself seriously. It means knowing yourself well enough to nd your purpose in life. It means knowing what needs to change when you sense that youve lost that purpose. It means having the faith to believe that change is possible and the courage to make those changes. (p. xvii) The secret to living a strong life lies in knowing how to draw a few things in toward you. It asks you to be discriminating, selective, intentional. You can nd energizing moments in each aspect of your life, but to do so you must learn how to catch them, hold on to them, to feel the pull of their weight and allow yourself to follow where they lead. (p. xviii) 2. What does having it all mean to you? What would your life look like if you had it all? 3. After reading Marcuss description of juggling on page xviii of the Introduction, do you see juggling as a skill or a trap? What important aspects of your life are you juggling? Which aspects do you wish you could focus more attention on? 4. Have you had times in your life when juggling different responsibilities has led you to feel guilt and resentment? CHaPter 1: O ne WorKsHoP, One SHow, One Hundred THousand Questions These questions [asked by Oprahs viewers on her web site] might start with work, but they quickly bleed out beyond the working world. They deal with direction, purpose, passion, the handling of kids, work and family, the courage to make a change, the diculty of talking it through with your family, the struggle to land on the correct denition of success. (p. 13) 5. Marcus quotes several women who wrote about their issues on the message boards (p. 10-13). Which of the issues resonated the most for you? 6. Most decisions impact more than one area of your life. Are there any decisions that you have struggled with that have felt impossible because of their ripple effects?

CHaPter 2: THe FeMale ParadoX Greater education, political, and employment opportunities have corresponded to decreases in life happiness for women, as compared to men. Though women begin their lives more fullled than men, as they age, they gradually become less happy. Men, in contrast, get happier as they get older.The hard-won rights, opportunities, and advantages were supposed to have netted women more than just another burdensome role to play. (p. 19 & 25) 7. 8. 9. Why do you think the reforms of the last 50 years (described on pages 16-17) have not shown a measurable increase in womens happiness? Are you happier than you were 10 years ago? Why or why not? What different roles do you feel expected to fill?

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

REVIEW SeSSioN 1 QUESTIONS (60 MiN) CHaPter 3: Of CHoice and Men

Since no one wants to go back to a world with fewer choices, you have to learn the skill of making choices without fear, guilt, and regret. You have to learn how to use your choice-making to strengthen you. (p. 34) 10. 11. Marcus describes how some advisorsparents, friends, the voice inside your own headcan influence your decision- making (p. 32-34). Who gives you the most advice about the choices you make? How does their advice affect the way you think about yourself? Your choices? What are the rst steps you take when you have a life choice to make?

Yes, men are a chronic condition, too. They arent going away, and so youre going to have to learn how to live with them. (p. 34) 12. Marcus describes several issues (p. 34-40) related to how men and women interact in the workplace and in their private lives. How have you been affected by issues related to the men in your life?

When we multitask were dumber Youre trying to get more done in less time but, in reality, multitasking actually slows you down. It also increases your stress If your ready-made solution to the variety of roles you play is multitasking, you are shortchanging everyone in your life. (p. 43) 13. Have you seen the effects of multitasking as Marcus describes them in your own life? How would it impact your life if you could increase your focus on specic things rather than having to constantly multitask? WraP UP/HoMeworK (5-8 MIN) Ask people what their key learning from the session was Confirm homework for Session 2: 1. Read chapters 4-6 of Find Your Strongest Life 2. Write your answers to the questions in Session 2 3. Note the exercise on page 10 of your Participants Guide: make a list of the women you know who are living a strong life Confirm date/start time/location of next session Thank people and acknowledge their participation

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 2
In

F ollow t H e S IG Ns
tHis session... Encourage participants to consider what it means/what it looks like to lead a strong life Have people think about who they know that is leading a strong life and why Help people create a vision for what a strong life would look like/feel like for them Introduce the concept of strong-moments and discuss how to catch and cradle them

p.47-96

p.9-13

WelcoMe and OVerView: (10 MIN) Welcome everyone to Session 2 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion Series. This session is called Follow the SIGNs and covers chapters 46 in the book. Brief overview of what to expect from this session: 1. Were going to really dive in and examine what it looks like and feels like to lead a strong life. 2. Were going to talk about strong-moments and how to catch and cradle them. Go around the room and have people share a strong-moment something that happened to them this week that made them feel invigorated, successful, and strong.

REVIEW SeSSioN 2 QUESTIONS (75 MiN)

CHaPter 4: Signs of Life A strong life isnt necessarily a wealthy life, a career-focused life, a stay-at-home life, or a married life. It cant be dened by a particular job, eld, income bracket, or number of hours worked. It cant be dened by any of those things because a strong life isnt what you do. Its what you feel A strong woman feels eective and capable. She feels that many of the activities lling her weeks are things shes good at, activities that give her a chance to express her strengths. (p. 51-52) 1. How do you feel when you read about the women who are living strong lives (pp. 49-51)? Do they seem inspiring? Intimidating? Realistic? What makes them seem that way? 2. Can you imagine yourself as one of the women described in this chapter? What changes do you think would have to happen for you to be described as living a strong life? 3. You listed several women you know who are leading a strong life. What are some of their characteristics? What do the women on your list have in common? 4. Marcus lists three factors on page 52 that can keep women from feeling successful as mothers. If you are a mother, what signs have you seen that you are successful in the role? As a daughter, what successes do you remember most vividly from your own mothers? 5. Are you excited about the future or dreading the days ahead? How do these feelings affect the way you approach today? What would it take to make you more enthusiastic about your outlook? Marcus writes that when a woman leads a strong life, her purpose needs are metshe feels she is doing what she is supposed to be doing, however imperfectly. Her relationship needs are metshe has a loving husband, a supportive boss, a caring group of friends. And her recognition needs are metsomeone within her circle of intimates is celebrating her successes and reinforcing her strengths. (p. 54) 6. Which of those needs do you feel are being met in your life right now? Which needs require more attention?

Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

REVIEW SeSSioN 2 QUESTIONS (CoNT.)

CHaPter 5: A Strong Life LiVed You mustnt entrust your life to dreams because, unfortunately, all the research we have on dreams and goals reveals that we are woefully inaccurate at predicting which dreams will fulll us. And even if one of your wildest dreams comes true, you are wired, as are all human beings, to become hardened to the joys of this dream, just as you are wired to become increasingly immune to the sadness of a tragedy. (p. 78-79) 7. We are often told to pursue our dreams, yet Marcus raises a cautionary flag. Why do you think he says that we are woefully inaccurate at predicting which dreams will fulfill us? Do you find that true in your own life? 8. Think about some dreams that you currently have. How are they influencing your decisions? 9. Marcus tells the stories of Charlie, who nds her perfect match and ends up working alongside her husband but nds herself spiralling downward because of her job (pp. 61-66) and Anna, who takes a meandering path from Iowa to D.C. to Germany to Denver to L.A., and ends up with a dream job as a Hollywood agent (pp. 66-77). Both women had drive, ambition, and loving partners. What do you think accounts for the difference in their stories outcomes?

CHaPter 6: CatcH-and-Cradle The catch and cradle practice. asks you to have faith that hidden within lifes daily blizzard of moments are some specic moments that can energize you, and that you are both perceptive enough to identify them and powerful enough to push your life toward them. (p. 87) 10. Marcus describes the downward spiral that can result from ignoring our strong-moments from living in denial of who we really are when were at our best. Do you recognize this spiral in yourself or in a friend? What can get in the way of you paying attention to your strong-moments? 11. What would be the impact on your life if you allowed your strong-moments to guide your life choices?

WraP UP/HoMeworK: (5-8 Min) Ask people what their key learning from the session was Confirm homework for Session 3: 1. Read chapters 78 of Find Your Strongest Life 2. Write your answers to the questions in Session 3 3. Take the Strong Life Test at StrongLifeTest.com 4. After you have taken the Strong Life Test, use the next week or two to capture the specic activities in your life that make you feel strong or weak. Record them in the section on page 15 of this Participants Guide. See page 127 of Find Your Strongest Life for Marcuss detailed instructions on how to do this exercise. Confirm date/start time/location of next session Thank people and acknowledge their participation

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 3
t H e true you
In
p.97-151 p.14-18

THIS SESSION... Discuss each participants Lead Role and Supporting Role Discuss the strong-moments that each participant recorded in her Participants Guide Discuss negative or weak moments and strategies for dealing with them Consider the examples of womens stories Marcus writes about in the book

WelcoMe and OVerView (5 Min) Welcome to Session 3 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion series. Start by having people share how their week was. Do they have any thoughts or questions left from last weeks session? Be prepared to model for participants what you are looking for. This session is called The True You and covers chapters 78 in the book. Brief overview of what to expect from this session: 1. Were going to discuss everyones results from the Strong Life Test. 2. Were going to consider the strong-moments in our lives and how to make the most of them. 3. Then well look at weaknesses and how to minimize them. 4. Finally, well consider some of the women Marcus discusses in the book and what we can learn from their stories.

Review SeSSioN 3 QUeSTioNS (75 MiN)

CHaP ter 7: SearcH for S trong-MoMents Dont base your decision on what you assume is the right role for you to play. Base your decision on the fact that you value yourself enough to be inquisitive, to ask the questions, and to listen closely to what your emotions are telling you. (p. 98) 1. Discuss everyones Strong Life Test results. Were your results what you expected, or did they surprise you? Why? 2. How well did you identify with your lead role? Your supporting role? In what areas of your life do you see yourself playing these roles? 3. Exercise: Recording Strong-Moments. What was your experience of paying attention to the different moments in your life and how they make you feel? Consider the positive/strong activities that people captured: 4. In what ways do these activities correlate to your Lead Role and/or Supporting Role? 5. What made these activities especially strengthening to you? 6. Did you have any epiphanies? Consider the negative/weak activities that you captured on the previous page: 7. What made these activities especially dicult for you? 8. Are there ways for you to minimize these activities?

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

Review SeSSioN 3 QUeSTioNS (CoNT.) You search for strong-moments because, of all the elements of your lifeyour goals, your dreams, your relationships,
CHaP ter 8: AccePt WH at You Find eventhey can be trusted the most. You search for strong-moments because in them you will nd your truth. And yet, this truth can work its miracle only if you truly accept what you nd. As youve no doubt experienced, this is far from easy to do. (p. 129-30) 9. Many people want to believe they can become whatever other people need them to be if they just work hard enough. How could it benet you and those around you if you accepted your true self?

It doesnt matter how stellar your performance is, if the activity drains you, bores you, or makes you lose your concentration, it is a weakness. (p. 137) 10. We usually identify weaknesses by examining our failures. If instead you examined your life and identied any tiresome activityno matter how successfulas a weakness, how would this change where you spend your time? How would this approach change your self-image?

Interview any happy, successful woman and you will discover that she has faith all of them believe that the purpose of their situation in life is to teach them who they are and what they can oer the world. (p. 142) 11. You can see purpose in everything that happens in your life every event you experience, every decision you make. What events have you experienced that have inspired great learning for you? Marcus recounts the stories of several women who showed dierent degrees of accepting the truth about their lives: The Northwestern graduate student who struggled with dyslexia Pippa, who strives to excel in classical ballet even though she is more naturally gifted as a modern dancer Margret, who turns her love of analyzing complex tasks into a succession of jobs in the knitting and sewing industry Diane, who follows a surprising path after getting devastating news that her husband is a criminal 12. Which womans story affected you the most? What did you learn from it?

WraP UP/HoMeworK (58 Min) Ask people what their key learning from the session was Confirm homework for Session 4: 1. Read chapter 9 of Find Your Strongest Life 2. Write your answers to the questions in Session 4 3. Complete the Imbalance Your Life exercise on pages 19-20 of your Participants Guidewrite down as many strong- moments as you can in each important domain of your life Confirm date/start time/location of next session Thank people and acknowledge their participation

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 4
In

Beautiful i M B alance

p.153-180

p.19-23

tHis session... Have participants discuss and understand why balance isnt the right goal Participants focus on making sure that each domain that is important in their lives has strong-moments to keep them positive, energized, and excited Because Attention Amplifies Everything, participants can learn to avoid Deficit Attention Disorder by focusing on their strengths instead of their weaknesses

WelcoMe and OVerView: (20 MIN) Welcome to Session 4 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion series. This session is called Beautiful Imbalance and covers chapter 9 in the book. Brief overview of what to expect from this session: Were going to talk about why balance isnt the right goal. Were going to consider how to imbalance our lives, because Attention Amplifies Everything. Finally, were going to examine Deficit Attention Disorder and how it can put us on the wrong track. Lets start by talking about your homework. Everyone wrote down the strong-moments that theyve recently experienced in the different domains of their lives. Lets share. TIP: Model for participants what you are looking for by sharing two strong-moments of your own. Keep in mind, this should be an activity/ task you did, rather than something that someone else did to you. Examples: I felt strong when I re-organized my kitchen cabinets I felt effective when I put together a project plan for a new marketing campaign to promote one of our products

Review SeSSioN 4 QUeSTioNS (60 MiN) Theres nothing inherently fullling about balance. Balance is the opposite of movement. When you are balanced you are
stationary, holding your breath, trying not to let any sudden twitch or jerk pull you too far one way or the other. You are at a standstill. CHaP ter 9: StriVe for IMBalance

This precarious, motionless state is not worth striving for. Its the wrong life goal. Strive for fullness instead. In each domain you must be able to imbalance your life toward at least two specic strong moments. Strength in one part of your life does not compensate for weakness in others. each part of your life must contain strong-moments. (p. 154-56) 1. Look back at your list of strong-moments, divided by the areas of your life. Does one area dominate with a long list of strong- moments? 2. Are there any areas of your life that do not have any strong-moments? Do you ever feel the drain from one area diminishing your strength in other areas? Can you see ways to add strong-moments to those domains that currently seem to have none?

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

Review SeSSioN 4 QUeSTioNS (CoNT.)

Your attention amplies everything. Whatever it is youre focusing on will become more detailed, and this detail will attract still more detail, and all of this detail will come to dominate your thinking. You can see this amplication process most clearly when it comes to your strengths. Your strengths are a multiplier. Invest time and energy and training in them and you will get an exponential return Your weaknesses are your areas of least opportunity, areas where you will develop the least, learn the least, create the least, contribute the least, volunteer the least, and be your least resilient. (p. 163) 3. Marcus makes the case that the more you focus on your strengths (or strong-moments), the more they will grow, expand, and dominate your life. The return on your investment accelerates and multiplies. Where have you seen this happen in an area of your life? 4. Do you currently spend more time worrying about your weaknesses or capitalizing on your strengths? If your attention is drawn to weaknesses, how can you shift your focus?

Tell us not where you are the best, but rather where you are at your best. Share with us where we can count on you the most. Oer your strengths up as a way to get more things done. Talk to us about them in terms of the greater contribution you think you can make. (p. 165) 5. How we contributeat home, at work, at schoolis often more flexible than we realize. When dividing assignmentswith your husband, coworkers, committeehow can you intentionally focus your time on those projects that make the best use of your strengths? 6. Deficit Attention Disorder applies to our own lives and the way we treat others. Does the example with Marcus and his sons painting (p. 166-69) strike a chord with you? Is there someone in your life who would benet from you focusing on his or her strengths? The more you ask about what is wrong, what is causing the problem, and how you can x it, the more your life moves toward what is wrong. in practical terms, what [Decit Attention Disorder] means for you is that you can never solve a problem on its own terms. Instead, what you can do is refocus your attention, away from the root causes of the problem, and toward those parts and pieces that are working. (p. 172) 7. Marcus suggests that, since attention follows focus, the best way to solve a problem or address a weakness is by viewing it as part of a strength. Can you think of a situation youre currently facing that would benet from a focus on what is working?

WraP UP/HoMeworK (58 Min) Ask people what their key learning from the session was Confirm homework for Session 5: 1. Read chapters 1012 of Find Your Strongest Life 2. Write your answers to the questions in Session 5 3. Consider which questions and answers from each chapter are most relevant to your life; be prepared to share your own examples of how you have been affected by the issues raised Confirm date/start time/location of next session Thank people and acknowledge their participation

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 5

Stronger E V erywHere

p.181-243

p.24-28

In tHis session... Participants learn how strengths concepts can be practically used to help with a variety of life situations: career, relationships, and kids Discuss how to apply these concepts in different areas of your life WelcoMe and OVerView: (5 MIN) Welcome everyone to Session 5 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion series. This session is called Beautiful Imbalance and covers chapters 1012 in the book. Brief overview of what to expect from this session: Taking our cue from the questions that Marcus answers in the book, were going to start looking at the actions we need to take to imbalance our lives Tactics for a stronger career Tactics for stronger relationships Tactics for stronger kids Lets start by talking about careers. TIP: It might be helpful to point out that sometimes the timeframe implied in Marcuss answers is immediate: What were your strong moments last week? What should you do tomorrow? Others are more long-term: Where do you want to be in 10 years? How can you gradually build this relationship into something stronger? A strengths-orientation can help resolve short-term issues, but it is even more powerful when incorporated into the long view. Encourage your group members to start applying the concepts theyve learned immediately, but not to rush the process or try to force immediate results. This isnt about big change over night. Its about incremental change over time.

Review SeSSioN 5 QUeSTioNS (75 MiN)

CHaP ter 10: Tactics for a Stronger Career No one nds her true passion. She starts with an inkling, a sense of something. And she builds her passion by working hard, paying attention to how the dierent parts of the role make her feel, and by then taking the initiative to push her role gradually toward those activities that strengthen her. (p. 189) 1. Whether you are currently satisfied with your job or are pondering making a career change, what steps can you take to push your role toward activities that strengthen you?

Fear of what might happen if must never stop you from seeking work that fullls you. If your work doesnt contain any strong-moments, you are not going to be able to compensate for this lack by overlling the other parts of your life. (p. 199) 2. Marcus writes that there are two ways to overcome fear of change: Get excited: focus on and visualize moments in your new role that will energize you Get specific: specificity is the antidote to anxiety If you are contemplating making changes, either within the parameters of your current job or by switching jobs, are there specic details you can picture to help yourself overcome anxiety about change?

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

Review SeSSioN 5 QUeSTioNS (CONT.)

3. Marcus lists 10 signs that will help you to know that youre on the right track with your current job: You surprise yourself by actually looking forward to going to work. You make detailed plans about how to do things better. You read books and magazines related to your work. You learn new skills quickly, as if youve done them before. You like socializing with your colleagues after work. You find yourself telling your non-work friends stories about what happened at work. You trust your boss. Youre invigorated, even at the end of a day of hard work. You feel a sense of contributing to something greater than yourself. You build back quickly from small setbacks. Thinking of your current job, do you see many of these signs? Are there particular strong-moments that make you see these signs? 4. Were there other Q&A sections in chapter 10 that were particularly relevant to you? How do you see yourself implementing particular tactics in your own life? CHaPter 11: Tactics for Stronger RelationsHiPs Try shifting your perspective on the person who weakens you. Look at him through the lens of his strengths. (p. 213) 5. Think of a person in your life who drains you or leaves you frustrated. Since most weaknesses are not unrelated to a persons strengths, take a moment to imagine what his/her strengths are. How might you use this knowledge to interact differently with this person? How could this person still make a valuable contribution to your work or life?

The strongest marriages are based on the practice of generosity. Both partners deliberately look for the most generous explanation for the others behavior. (p. 217) 6. After years together, it can be easy to assume knowledge of another persons intentions or understanding. Of course he knew or He knows how much I want him to. Can you think of a time when you misinterpreted something that someone said or did? How would things have been different if you had looked for the most generous explanation of the situation? 7. Marcus suggests discovering the strong-moments in the lives of those we care about. Paying attention to the strengths of our partners can help us to see their behavior in a more positive light, just as we strive to emphasize our own strengths. List some of your partners strong-moments and discuss why you appreciate the strengths that he brings to your relationship. 8. Were there other Q&A sections in chapter 11 that were particularly relevant to you? How do you see yourself implementing particular tactics in your own life?

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

Review SeSSioN 5 QUeSTioNS (CoNT.)

CHaPter 12: Tactics for Stronger Kids I know you love your kids more than anything (as do I) and cant imagine life without them. But their gift to you isnt happiness. It is depth and meaning and purpose. You become a parent not to feel happier, necessarily. You become a parent so you can love your kids and help them make their greatest contribution to the world. (p. 230) 9. Approaching life in terms of building strengths rather than xing weaknesses may be a new concept for you. As you reorient around this concept, how can you see it affecting the way you encourage your children?

You should be on the lookout for your kids strengths, because, by their second birthday, they have already shown you a librarys worth of clues about what their strengths are. (p. 232) 10. What strengths have you seen in your children? What ways do you think you can encourage them to grow in their areas of strength? 11. Were there other Q&A sections in chapter 12 that were particularly relevant to you? How do you see yourself implementing particular tactics in your own life?

WraP UP/HoMeworK (58 Min) Ask people what their key learning from the session was Confirm homework for Session 6: 1. Read chapters 1314 of Find Your Strongest Life 2. Write your answers to the questions in Session 6 3. Consider which questions and answers from each chapter are most relevant to your life; be prepared to share your own examples of how you have been affected by the issues raised 4. Consider which strategies, techniques, facts and stories in the book have been the most powerful for you. We will discuss our personal highlights next week. Confirm date/start time/location of next session Thank people and acknowledge their participation

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 6
In

Getting E V en S tronger

p.245-256

p.29-32

tHis session... Participants focus on building a stronger future Tactics to stop feeling overwhelmed Tactics to recover from setbacks Tactics for making decisions Participants discuss what they have learned, their most powerful lessons from the book, how their perspectives have changed, and how they plan to keep nding their strongest lives

WelcoMe and OVerView: (5 MIN) Welcome everyone to Session 6 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion series. This session is called Getting Even Stronger and covers chapters 1314 in the book. Brief overview of what to expect from this session: Were going to finish up our discussion of the book by looking at a few remaining techniques for stronger lives: Tactics to stop feeling overwhelmed Tactics to recover from setbacks Tactics for making decisions Well discuss the most powerful parts of the book and of these sessions Lets start by talking about taking action.

Review SeSSioN 6 QUeSTioNS (75 MiN)

CHaPter 13: Tactics for a Stronger Future Action is the antidote to feeling overwhelmed. Just begin. Very often the simple action of beginning will alleviate the anxiety and stress that has accumulated. (p. 246-47) 1. Is there a task or project that youre putting off because you feel overwhelmed? If so, what is one action you can take to build momentum and start getting it back on track?

Although we use the phrase bounce back the truth is you dont actually bounce back. You build back. Recovering from any traumatic situation is an incremental, intentional process, and it takes time. (p. 248) 2. In the midst of circumstances beyond our control a layoff, a health problem, a family crisis, a rejection it can be easy to feel helpless or victimized, and allow those circumstances to unravel what we do control. Think of a setback you have experienced recently. What are two things you can do to keep moving? Who can you offer to help? What certainties can you rally around?

There is opportunity to be found in setback, and the opportunity is to become clearer about which aspects of yourself you can count on the most. (p. 249) 3. Can you think of any ways in which the setbacks you have experienced helped you to realize what your strengths are?

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

Review SeSSioN 6 QUeSTioNS (CoNT.)

4. Marcus recommends asking yourself 3 questions before making any major decision in life: Which choice will enable me to experience more strong-moments in each aspect of my life? Which choice will give me the best opportunity to learn more in my areas of strength? Which decision will allow me to make the greatest contribution in my areas of strength? Think of a decision youre facing now. What answers would you give to the questions that Marcus asks? 5. Were there other Q&A sections in chapter 13 that were particularly relevant to you? How do you see yourself implementing particular tactics in your own life?

CHaPter 14: BacK in tHe Boat Whatever you take away from this book, know that your secret to success and happiness rests in your ability, no matter what life throws at you, to make strong choices without regret. So stop juggling and start catching. Stop judging yourself quite so harshly. Stop your balancing act, and start intentionally imbalancing your days and weeks toward the strong-moments in each part of your life. (p. 256) 6. Over the past six sessions, how has your view of your current situation changed? If you came to solve a problem, can you see your way forward by applying the principles in this book? If you already felt strong, can you see how to make your life even more strengthening? 7. What surprised you most about this book? 8. What is the most important thing you will you take away from Find Your Strongest Life?

WraP UP/HoMeworK (58 Min) Ask people what their key learning from the session was Confirm whether the group (or some members) will continue on to Sessions 7 and 8, discussing the Strong Life Plans If the group is continuing, confirm homework for Session 7: 1. Read the eight Strong Life Plans 2. Choose at least one Strong Life Plan relevant to your current situation and make notes on how you plan to implement the strategies 3. Write your answers to the questions in Session 7 4. Partner with a buddy to check in with each other as often as you require before the next session, to keep on track Confirm date/start time/location of next session Thank people and acknowledge their participation

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 7
in

Introduction to S trong L ife Plans

tHis session... Introduce the Strong Life Plans Participants choose a Strong Life Plan to focus on in the coming week and discuss goals and commit to specific actions Participants choose accountability partners

p.33-34

WelcoMe and OVerView: (20 MIN) Welcome everyone to Session 7 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion series. This session is an introduction to our discussion about the Strong Life Plans. Be sure that each group member has a copy of the plans (electronic or printed), which are available for download at MarcusBuckingham.com/StrongLife. Give each person an opportunity to share why they are there what they hope to gain from a Strong Life Plan. Strong Life Plan Discussion (60 Min) Marcus has created eight different Strong Life Plans, each tailored to a particular decision or change that must be made. They are simple, practical, and designed to help you implement the principles you have read throughout the book. Review the list of plans and choose the one that best suits an issue you want to address: 1. Finding the Right Career 2. Switching Careers 3. Decision Making 4. Solving Problems 5. Creating Resilience 6. Resolving Conflict with Your Partner 7. Loving Connections 8. Raising Strong Kids

1. Which plan(s) are you going to focus on and why? 2. What do you hope to accomplish by implementing your chosen plan? What will success look like to you? 3. What actions do you hope to take before the next session? Who is your accountability partner and how will you keep each other on track?

WraP UP/HoMeworK (58 Min) Decide how long the group will take before meeting for Session 8 Confirm date/start time/location of next session Write down your answers to the questions in Session 8 Thank people and acknowledge their participation

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Find Your St rong e st Lif e Di s cus s i on Seri es LEADERS GUIDE

SeSSioN 8
In

Progress re V iew

p.35-36

tHis session... Participants discuss the actions they have taken to follow their Strong Life Plans Discuss challenges and obstacles that have arisen Make sure that each group member has a clear sense of direction, both regarding future steps and timelines for completing her plan Consider how the group members can help and support each other in the future

WelcoMe and OVerView: (5 MIN) Welcome everyone to Session 8 of the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion series. This session is a follow-up to discuss our progress with the Strong Life Plans. Lets make sure that we are all clear on where were going, and that we know how we can support one another in the future. Strong Life Plan reView (75 Min) 1. What are the actions you have taken to implement your Strong Life Plan since the last session? 2. What strong-moments did you experience as you were enacting your Strong Life Plan? 3. Did you encounter any challenges? If so, how did you tackle them? 4. What are your next action steps in implementing your Strong Life Plan? How can the group support you? WraP UP/HoMeworK (58 Min) Ask people what their key learning from following the Strong Life Plan has been and share your own This doesnt have to be the end of the group consider follow-up sessions if the group wants to revisit concepts or continue supporting each other on a regular basis Thank people/acknowledge them for their participation Homework: Lead a strong life! Congratulations! You have completed the Find Your Strongest Life Discussion Series. Know that by leading your discussion group, you have helped to make a difference in the lives of everyone who participated. Although the structured sessions have ended, we encourage you to remain in touch with your group to help each other stay on the path of nding your strongest lives.

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