Page |1

Bad News Letter Example #1

06/16/2005

Louisiana State Board of Private Investigators Examiners 2051 Silverside Drive, Suite 190 Baton Rouge, LA 70808
February 9, 1999 Mr. Jim Kraker 698 Orange Street Harahan, LA 70325 Dear Mr. Kraker: Pursuant to the provisions of La. R.S. 37:3517 in the Rules and Regulations, your Apprentice License # 3590-012198-AP has lapsed. Accordingly, you are no longer authorized to perform the duties of a private investigator in the State of Louisiana. Any further activity on your part as such is in violation of Louisiana law. To continue your practice as a private investigator, you may obtain a valid private investigator license by simply passing the Louisiana State Private Investigator Licensing Exam. Exam dates are flexible and scheduled at your request. Upon passage of the exam, you will then have the option of becoming an Individual Licensee or an Agency Holder. In the meantime, the applicable statutes in the Rules and Regulations further require you to now surrender your certificate and registration card to the Board. This may be accomplished by mailing or delivering both the certificate and the registration card to the Board office at the address listed above. Please contact the Board office at (225) 763-3556 to schedule an exam date or for any further information concerning the licensing process. Yours truly,

Jim B. Brown Executive Director ll/CC

Notice the tone of this letter's introduction. Why is it effective, given the writing situation? Also notice how the writer cites specific rules and regulations to support both her bad news, and the alternatives the reader may take.
Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |2

Bad News Letter Example #2

06/17/2005

Roy's Furniture
763 Magnolia Ave. Baton Rouge, LA 70820 555-0956 22 May 2000 Mr. Ray Gunther 4980 Clamp Rd. Houma, LA 70983 Dear Mr. Gunther: We regret to inform you that your check number 410 for $290.89 in payment for a dining table was returned by your bank for insufficient funds. Please resubmit the payment along with the bank's fee of $25.00 for a total amount of $315.89. Please enclose your payment in the specially marked envelope. We appreciate your prompt attention to this matter. Sincerely,

Notice how the writer makes clear how much money the reader owes. But he forgot to make it clear that the specially marked envelope is enclosed. And finally, was it a good idea for the writer to neglect using a buffer? Why or why not?

Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |3

Bad News Letter Example #3

01/29/2007

Southern Pacific Bank

1112 Main Street New Orleans LA 70111 January 27, 1999 Cade LeCompte 163 Joshua Reed Dr. Houma LA 70360 Dear Mr. LeCompte: For the past two years we at Southern Pacific Bank have held the title on your 1995 model Ford Escort. We have valued you as a customer, and have always appreciated your timely payment. As I was going through my accounts receivable this month, I realized we have not yet received a payment for the month of January. As you know, your payment is due by the 5th of every month. We indeed give you a grace period of 10 days, which would make your payment due in our office by the 15th of every month. We would not like to see your credit with us blemished by one oversight. You do not want to let your account with us go over 1 month without payment. This will incur an additional 10% late charge (of your principal amount of $284.32.) You still have 14 days to correct this oversight. Please look over these payment options and decide which one is best suitable to your needs. The options include: 1. Express mail your check or money order in the amount of $284.32 to the address above. 2. Call one of our customer service representatives at 1-800-555-4334 to ask for the pay-by-phone option (for an additional charge of $3.00.) If you have any questions, please feel free to call me, or any of our customer service representatives. We value your account, and look forward to serving you in the future. Sincerely, Laure White Accounts Receivable

The writer does a good job of making the bad news clear in a diplomatic manner and offering alternatives, but compare the date of the letter to the due date of the bill. Also beware of using relative dates rather than absolute ones. It's a bad idea to simply tell the reader that he still has 14 days to correct the oversight since it is not clear on what date his payment will truly be late. When do those 14 remaining days begin? Do they begin on the day the reader receives the letter, or on the date the letter is written? Remember that is important for you to make sure that important information such as this is unambiguous.

Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |4

Bad News Letter Example #4

12/20/2004

Chase Manhattan Bank PO Box 65326 New York City, NY 45896

January 27, 2000 Bruce Johnson 879 Cedar Lake Avenue Baton Rouge, LA 70809 Dear Mr. Johnson, As a valued customer to our company, Chase Manhattan, we have appreciated your business with us. You currently are enrolled in our Platinum Visa rewards. As a customer with such great privileges, you have shown us to be a dependable client and are always timely with your payments. As of January 25, 2000, account number 2569875635 is now 60 days past due. Your minimum payment on your account is $125.00. As you are aware, there is a 15% late penalty for every 30 days your payment is late. We would like this situation to be solved as quickly as possible, leaving it off of your permanent credit line. Please call one of our accounts receivable representatives as soon as possible if there are any problems, or send your minimum payment to our office. We are pleased to assist you in any way, and if necessary, start a different payment plan for your Visa. If your payment has already been sent, please disregard this letter. Your credit will have no effect from this. If you should need special assistance, you can call me at 981-563-8942. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to solving this problem soon. Sincerely, Aaron Ross Accounts Manager Chase Manhattan Visa

Examine the buffer in the introductory paragraph. What does it lead the reader to believe is coming? What is this letter actually about? Is the buffer an appropriate and useful tool given the writing situation? Why or why not? Also notice that the letter doesn't contain all of the pertinent facts. How much does the reader owe as of this date? And how did the writer arrive at this amount? In debt collection, it is terribly important that you show your math. Finally is the overall tone appropriate given the writing situation? Why or why not?
Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |5

Bad News Letter Example #5

12/20/2004

Louisiana State University School of Dentistry

PO Box 25104 January 31, 2000 Mr. Buck Strickland 7000 Texas Flat Rd. Kiln, MS 39556 Dear Mr. Strickland, We are sorry to inform you that your application for the dental internship has been denied. Acceptance for the position was done on a numerical basis, in which grades, classes, and experience were rated and assigned a score. While your grades and classes were above average, your lack of experience lowered your overall score. We recommend volunteering or working at a local dental office to gain more experience. Thank you for applying. We strongly encourage you to reapply after you have completed some time in a dental office. If you have any questions, please feel free to call the Office of Internships at (504) 555-8888. Sincerely, Baton Rouge, Louisiana 70894

Joe Meer Dean of Admissions

How would you feel after receiving this message? Would you know what to do? Would you not be so discouraged that you would never re-apply?

Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |6

Bad News Letter Example #6

12/20/2004

La Vista Hotel
5248 Brightside View Baton Rouge, LA 70820
(225) 555-4243 January 25, 2000 Mrs. Candi Dayte 3091 Havenotyme Ave. Baton Rouge, LA 70668 Dear Mrs. Dayte: I appreciate you coming to interview for the position as a front desk manager at La Vista. Your application and resume were quite impressive. Unfortunately, the position you applied for has been filled by someone with more experience in management. We believe that you are more qualified for positions such as daytime bartender or hostess at our restaurant. We'd like you to consider applying for either of these positions. Please call us to schedule an interview at (225) 555-4243. We look forward to seeing you again. Sincerely,

Rose McGowan Human Relations

Do you think the reader will follow the writer's recommendations that you apply for positions more qualified for, especially since she just said that the resume and cover letter were quite impressive?

Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |7

Bad News Letter Example #7

01/29/2007

Resource Management
30444 Fifth Avenue New York, NY 90432
January 28, 2000 Mrs. Susan Smith 12457 Veterans Blvd. New Orleans, LA 70395 Dear Mrs. Smith: I have been looking forward to speaking at the ABA conference in May. It has been many years since I have been to New Orleans and enjoyed the delicious cuisine. However, I am unable to attend. I failed to check my calendar at home before scheduling with you and have since noticed that my son's high school graduation will be held that same weekend. Because of the inconvenience I have caused you, I have included the names of three other motivational speakers who I highly recommend. If I can help you in engaging one of these speakers, please let me know. 1. Mr. Rickie Chutz--rchutz@earthlink.net 2. Mr. Robert Hubbard--rhubbard @aol.com 3. Mrs. Margaret Peak--mpeak@lpsb.org Once again, I apologize for not being able to speak at your conference and for any inconvenience I have caused you. Sincerely,

Marcia Ball Vice-president

How will the reader feel about the writer after receiving the bad news?

Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |8

Bad News Letter Example #8

12/20/2004

CheapRates Insurance Company 3205 Hickory Crest Lane Baton Rouge, LA 70820 (225) 76-CHEAP
February 1, 2000 Louis G. Brouque 787 Highland Road Baton Rouge, LA 70802 RE: Policy # 09LA345765 Dear Mr. Brouque: We have not received your monthly payment of $62.50 for your auto insurance, due on January 7, 2000. As a result of your non-compliance with our previous two attempts to collect payment, your policy has been canceled. However, it is not too late to get reinstated. Please come to our office immediately to make payment in person. The new auto insurance laws are very strict. If you are stopped without insurance, your vehicle may be impounded. If you are involved in an accident that is not your fault and you are uninsured, you lose the right to collect the first $10,000 of your claim. Please come in or give us a call. We CAN help! Thank you,

William G. Anderson, Account Representative CheapRates Insurance Company (225) 76-CHEAP, Ext. 3452 wanderson@cheaprates.com

Do you think the reader will follow the writer's recommendations that you apply for positions more qualified for, especially since she just said that the resume and cover letter were quite impressive? Examples of Bad News Messages

Page |9

Bad News Letter Example #9

12/20/2004

Westside Tennis Club 2312 Memorial Dr. Houston, TX 77049 (713) 465-0934
May 1, 2000 Ms. Jane Smith 342 Kellywood Dr. Houston, TX 77024 Dear Ms. Smith: I have received your application for head coach for the Westside Tennis Club Swim Team. However, the position has already been filled. Since the swim team season begins at the end of this month we needed to fill the position immediately. Nonetheless, we were quite impressed by your resume. You seem to have all the qualities we were looking for. It was just a matter of timing. I will keep your resume on file and contact you if there are any changes. I hope that you keep us in mind and reapply next summer. We appreciate your interest and wish you the best of luck in your continued search.

Sincerely,

Martha Goodson Aquatics Director

How would you feel about Ms. Goodson and the Westside Tennis Club after receiving this letter?

Examples of Bad News Messages

P a g e | 10

Bad News Letter Example #10

12/20/2004

United Global Warehouse

A Division CBT-T Corporation 1635 Sunshine Blvd. Baton Rouge, La. 70821 Phone: 1-800-942-7647 January 31, 2000 Daniel Johnson P. O. Box 18843 Baton Rouge, La. 70893 Dear Mr. Johnson, Thank you very much for applying with CBT-T Corporation. We sincerely appreciate your interest and the time you afforded us. We were very much impressed with your background and credentials. However, in the final analysis we have decided on another applicant for the Warehouse position. As a courtesy, we will keep your application on file to be considered for future positions. Thanks again for your interest in the CBT-T Corporation, and best wishes for success as you search for the right employment opportunity. Sincerely,

Margaret O'Brien Operations Manager

How would you feel if you received this letter? Would you want them to keep your application on file? Why or why not?

Examples of Bad News Messages

P a g e | 11

Bad News Letter Example #11

12/20/2004

Wonderful Apartments Complex

1021 River Street * Baton Rouge, LA 70806 September 18, 2001 Mr. Boyd Montgomery Wonderful Apartment Complex 1021 River Street, Apartment #2 Baton Rouge, LA 70806 Dear Mr. Montgomery: I am informing you of a violation that you have committed at the Wonderful Apartments Complex. On September 14, 2001, neighboring tenants photographed you exposing yourself nude in the parking lot. This is both a state and Wonderful Apartments Complex violation. In addition, the contract you signed specifically states: "nudity in public is not tolerated on these premises." It also states that tenants who perform these violations will be asked to move out by the end of the current month. This means that you will have to be moved by 7:00 A.M. on September 30, 2001. There will be no exceptions to this rule. If you have any questions or comments concerning this matter, contact me at (225) 343-5756. Sincerely

What action is the writer asking the reader to take? Are all of the consequences clear? Is the reasoning behind the bad news logical? Why or why not?

Examples of Bad News Messages