Exam Time - Stressful time

All this may sound familiar to many parents whose children are appearing for exams, especially the board exam. And to some it may sound extreme. Parents have different ways of dealing with the pressure of a child's exams. Given the stiff competition in every sphere of life, one can understand a parent's anxiety to ensure that the child performs well. However, if parents really want to help their children they need to be realistic and balanced in their approach. It would then be imperative to now what are the factors that are counterproductive to performance and then wor towards overcoming them. Counterproductive Influences Getting over-anxious - !esearch suggests despite best intentions parents often transfer their anxieties to their child, which does more harm than good. A sense of constant anxiety would interfere with the child's ability to concentrate and learn. It may also lead to complete panic on the day of the exam. Unrealistic expectations - Given the competitive times we all want our child to get into a good college. A parent could end up putting undue pressure or having unrealistic expectations that may stress the child. If children feel that the expectations are too high, the fear of failure prevents them from even putting in efforts to do what they are capable of. Comparisons - All children are not ali e. "omparisons with siblings, friends, and peers can cause a lot of psychological turmoil, which is the last thing one would want at this time. #he turmoil comes from feeling $not good enough$ and undermining their own abilities. Poor Study Habits - Having no schedules and routine for studying, no designated study area as well as having no time to de%stress can be counterproductive. &tudies become unstructured and not being allowed to de%stress can ma e them feel saturated which would not be helpful.

egating Counterproductive Influences !eveloping Effective Study Habits" Provide a 'uiet, well%lit room away from distractions, for the child to study. (ncourage the child to ma e a timetable and follow it. If you don't want a rebel on your hands do not force your decisions on your child instead involve the child in the process of ma ing a time table and help him decide the time he would li e to devote to studies. )or more points read our article on Effective Study S#ills.

$llo%ing time to un%ind and de-stress" It is important for the child to remain relaxed during the exams and extremely important for them to be able to do some of the activities that ma e them feel happy and relaxed as they are preparing. #he child should be encouraged to fit in his #* viewing or other leisure activity in the timetable. #he activity should be of their choice+ something that they en,oy li e bas etball, spea ing with friends, listening

to music, surfing the internet etc. -ot putting too many restrictions will eep a balanced approach and give the child enough freedom and support to ma e the right choices. &ifestyle factors" #each the child relaxation techni'ues li e deep breathing, meditation etc. to deal with anxiety or the stress which he .she may be feeling. (nsure that the child eats a healthy diet. Avoid fatty foods or foods high in sugar... #ry to include nuts and fresh fruits as snac s. /a e sure the child gets ade'uate sleep+ that will help concentrate better

'or T(e Parents #o help children do well parents first need to deal with their own anxiety and stress. 0on't ma e too many changes in your daily life, because your child is having exams. 0o not create hype about the exams and be as normal as possible. 0o not ma e discussion of studies and exams the only topic of conversation with friends. (ngage in de%stressing activities for yourself for example, continue your wal s, tal to friends, eat and sleep. #his will eep your physical and emotional reserves high, and allow you to be more effective in dealing with the children. (ncourage your child to do their best but do not pressuri1e them to perform beyond her.his capabilities. 2eep a positive attitude about the exam. !ecogni1e that children are children + if they were responsible and did everything they were supposed to when they were expected to there would be no need for parents to be around3 "ut them some extra slac at exam times. #al to a professional if you find yourself doing things that even you at some point recogni1e as not being entirely 'normal' such as anger outbursts, inability to sleep, inability to tal to your child about anything else except studying.

4ut all this will be wasted unless children now that parents love and accept them unconditionally, and regardless of their performance in school.Hence, one must constantly reiterate to the children not only in word but also through actions, that t(ey are loved and valued for %(o t(ey are) irrespective of t(eir sc(ool performance. #his goes a long way in decreasing the pressure and anxiety, which as we all now, has the potential to push one over the edge. 5et6s try to ma e the exam times as $stress%free$ as possible for the children as well as for the parents. If you wish to discuss any of these points, or need any further assistance, do contact our counselors