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Blackout 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 I went to bed in my own bedroom, exactly as normal. I remember it clearly. I live in ondon, and I went to bed a!ter "ob. I #ot into bed next to $im and went to slee%. &$at is w$at $a%%ened last ni#$t. 'et I cannot $ave #one to slee% in one room and wo(en )% in anot$er. &$is s$o)ld be a dream, b)t I (now t$at it isn*t. +y eyes are sore. ,veryt$in# abo)t me is wobbly and )nstable. I %inc$ my arm, beca)se t$at is w$at yo) do i! yo) t$in( yo)*re dreamin#, b)t it $)rts, and my nails leave little crescents in my s(in. &ime %asses. I #et )% and st)mble to t$e basin. -ere, t$e ceilin# slo%es too m)c$ !or me to stand )% strai#$t. &$ere is no !)rnit)re exce%t t$e bed, and oddly I seem to $ave not$in# wit$ me. .o ba#, no %)rse. I drin( t$ree #lasses o! water /)ic(ly, and t$en $old on to t$e ed#e o! t$e basin and wait !or t$e s)dden sic( !eelin# to %ass. I s%las$ my !ace )ntil t$e dried vomit $as #one, and I do my best to rinse my $air, w$ic$ stic(s wetly to t$e side o! my !ace. &$e walls are w$ite and %eelin# wit$ dam% in some %laces. "ed and w$ite c$ec(ed c)rtains !la% in t$e bree0e. &$ere are so)nds comin# !rom o)tside. &$ey are so)nds o! cars and $orns, raised voices.

British Council 2014

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1)ddenly I notice t$at I am !)lly dressed 2 b)t in clot$es I $ave never seen be!ore. &$ey are !ar nicer t$an my own clot$es, and t$ey !it me %er!ectly. I am wearin# a sti!! cotton dress and a cardi#an. &$e dress is w$ite and #reen. &$e cardi#an is #reen too, t$e (ind o! ti#$t one t$at 3)drey -e%b)rn mi#$t $ave worn. I am more con!)sed t$an ever. .ormally I wear 4eans and &5s$irts and anyt$in# I $a%%en to !ind in a c$arity s$o%. I am not mysel! any more.

3)t$or6 &itle6 I17.6

,mily 7arr 7lac(o)t 978 1 4722 1248 1

8o%yri#$t6 8o%yri#$t 9 2013 ,mily 7arr

"e%rod)ced by %ermission o! t$e %)blis$er -eadline :)blis$in# ;ro)%

British Council 2014