Professional Documents
Culture Documents
73
TI J'"OHAAI WINDOW
The- Johtu.j Wi..uow IS
The. Ope-n Area
ComW1Orl drena
Q
c.ommun'lC<:ttton 'and humaYi reiafiCfJ5 medd de\/dopecl. by Joe LLlN and Harry In.gMWI. TYtey sa.!j +here are .four area& In Dur pev=cnaltt0. I
15-H1eI I~bw
where..
ldohf-Know
OpBJ
BLlt-JD
'l1>u kntJtv
Idbn'f-l.crIllN
P,erc~oV\S
1he.. Ht~
A~ i$ wher..e..-
HIDDal
I
I
U~~
__ ~l~.U!. ~~0a ~' _ The U..,kV'lOWVl Area '15-fL.1e. seat of all ow- r~rU6ed
mew)Orie.~ , feel I'i1gs, des('("d;
needs
I
10 J<VlOW.
'rOOtbTtb1ow Yot(~btcw
w~id1mafj
e~~$/
HteWt5e!veg,
I ~ uV\COtlscilx.ls;
unelf>eded
by
~pprcpnaf~ seJf'-dlSCtC8-tfe:
+0
ReduCl~+he-
74
Communication
,
:
(You Know)
_
<m
1..
Q
---7
/
/.
~. :...:;..
' f
1/
/1
"
,
I
,-----------
promat'Ion.
//
Snaring oUr"+rue~hb
based
011
atJd feerlt1gs/
mutual trust.
75
'Z,
--,
I'
--------
: 1'mcon-hderrt
-----
~.
"'y----- ---.... ,
: IOlire Cl
U:
\
\\
real "I ( Ijus+ love +0 lb. usyooa~, L. -' I I h f I : elp people // : mindIng oI+ter : improve. / ,-----I Reoples } business. ...../ ,
,-----
- - -----7
//
~ to
-_/
-"'"
We m0l,j no/- be aware of our own mu lis and weaknesses or ofhers' true fhoughts ond feeliYl9s alnrf- us. Feedho.ek -from oftte.t.s helps TO reduce C>r' remove -these \'bl,"nd spofs., -H1ereby improvin.g COVrHllunication.
76
Communication
,----------,
I ,,------
. ,---------
--'/
-rI_ I
./
8 I-i,din9 our true thoughts or feelings we keep otners - bl (rid 1'-10 our real siiuahoo. This lnfum affecls +l1eir- behaviour -IoNards us. as #1e!:j carl respor0 oYl/!:j +0
I
whn--I-hey cat') 'see ~'We vreed +0 "level w ifh oU1ers -ItrtOtlgh appropriate self-disclo5:.tre.
I,
77
.. ------ -.,.-~,
" Itsjustnotme! \
" I efonl know what ~ /---;- --- - - - - -" made me shout :" 1-1-s s-fmV1ge
", atfhe
,---
cusfomer. /,'
-- -- - -
I .1.
--------
"Q
In -the L{t1conscicus level of cur t'YliVld but which M9-4surface In une)(pecied ~Bs. CanftvnhVlg
dl'Rreuft or
by surprise
en catch us and
+han
unpleasant
SitlAafr0fl5
"n 'if~r-aH1er
ne8atlve- effect-5.
78
Communication
l'M O.K.
YOU'RE O.K.
I'M O.K.
. YOU'RE NOT O.K.
I WIN
yOU LOSE
6USMtSSlON
OOOPERATION DOMINATION
79
NON-ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
(Non-Verbal)
o
o
Down cast
C!JeS
-~(
"
"
~
( Verbal)
./' - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - "-
~hatever. ~
/5
say, Bos5,
'I
1'
----------------
o.k.
WIth
me.
/
.
d isfrmce
speaker
from-+he
So~ about-H1e mess, dear.", \ \ I'll clean it up h9ht away" f " Oh, 1'm dead tired ~ I
\
f-ies"1fa..rr speedJ
,'. _-----------------...
-----------
-----
./
: I'm ol1l~ ~ woman. So afvaid ~ ~J donL/- have- much -to contribute. "
1m
......
The
purpose of nDYI-assertive communication is to W~r1 approval or ac~eptance, or to aVoid +rouble b0 puf+ing on~seJf down, .
J J
submrf-h~9-to oth~ro surrendering our le9"rfimate rlSJhts, accephng a lose-win situatIOn. SU01 behaviour encourages oJfjer people to take- advantage aFus.
80
Communication
AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION
(Non-Verbal )
o ~aVlds
o
o
(Verbal)
on hips
face away
o o o
o Ridicules
The
purpose of Clgqres51ve commuVlicahon "IS +0 int,:midate ~+0 assert Dne:S su~riorifl1 and "Importance
I
while putf-wg others dOVVVl ; to ~eel sel-f- (nterest ~ +he. expense of ofl.1ers crea+lng a wIn-loSsrfuahon resulti~ (11 hurt feelit19s .
I
1
Part Three: Communication 81
AS6E~fV COMMUNICATION
(Non-VerbaJ )
o
o
1~ (Verbal)
- -/
- --
------
understand "
You.~
aV\9Y~
-~-, \ beca~ I
/
I
I
o DI"reet
e~e conl-aci
1\ .... 1'
~------------------~
I
~ou -H1ivtk !:l0u./re not- ~e+f1n9.+he / llUQlit~ of servIce ~oure fX1~'ng ;' for. ,
,
\ I admIt my mIstake
but I teel
-
\ {hat you should not- have \ In fr-oYit of all +he guests. \'- ...:...._- - - -- - - - - - - - -
reall~ c~.I+iGised me
I :
-- -
--
The purpose
of assertt"ve .commuVlication
cooperation DVI Q. 0051.5 D( eq,u.alit.0 ; s~ek mutual beraefit and a Wln- win 5 ifuafloYl I respechng each
+0
is to
.seek
83
EFFECTIVE FE.EDBAC~
Don't 8eAbstmet
" Whlj are ~
'--- --- ---t,
'0
- - ---,
,-- - -----------alwa,ys
Be SpecrAc
- --, "
-_/
--- -
, ------------ --,
/
,---
----
-- - - - -
OC:1f,1
(I was deepl~ hurl wht~ ~ou : bouEht #lat e,([XrtSive., nem t wifftout eVf.n asking my view.
'------------
:
I
--------------
...
(1 'k>k" ~~
\
;r +r~bie~ qd-~i;:
!jOU d,crn't
so :
,
--------
!:J0u".
-k>deal w.rth
in absfraet ferf115 does not ~Ip to {mprove -+he- sttuatiOt'l. Le:H-it1g +-he person KV10Wspec.. tfJcaf~ how his/her beViQviour affecfs us enables #te person
anotHer petson
+he behav'Cur
IYl q,ue5f'1Ot1 .
84
Communication
~~
-------------------
"
~....
\
'\
\'
\
. -----------------
"
" I
" It hurts
'r
:
I
------------
.. .,.,.
' .'
we fInd offensive.
ca/l{Ylg or charade,,assassination.
85
--------------------7,-"
kid can do a beHerJob fflaVltnisl
----""" ,/
/"
" /1 ,. "1
,/
J
it were more- :
r
.
,------------
,.
Don4--tell me you're not coming home agaiVl for d,nner. .You 're spend"V19 50 much t1me aftfte office you m(ght as well just
----------------
r :
:
--' ,'------------------,
: T0e ch i1dyeJ1
aVld 1 rea IItj
"
I
,
:
t 5Ome-thing
\
: :
abeutThis?
- --
,----------
-----
"
O~
86
EFFECTIVE FfOSAC~(4'
Don't Infer Motives
has been extra : Y1ice +0 +he 005S of late. I I suspect she's working
I
Focus on Observations
\I
I I
M i85 _
: for a promotion.
I
,
/
.9taHiV19 back late +0 hel F.' / I ~ +J1e b05S finish Htis ruSh
1
I
------------------~
,----------------
I
\
,--------_/
,..------------
Job.
"
,,--
, about me , .'.
WITe.
I
I
-',
" Iwas
ftllVlgs
of
trlCJ
I
/
rn YY1SJwlfe5
presence.
I
I
~------------------Itlferr"/V19.
,
I
~----------
- ------
Oy ascribi~g ~in;sfer .c>v ulterior motIves, behind o+ner.s' behaVIOur IS unfair and unconstruchv8.
87
EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK
Don't be Jud9emenllJ1
I
I
(4)
:
I
'\
Be Descriptive - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --"
\
'.._-------
------ -~..
.. /
"
:
I
,-----------
----
------------ - ...~_..
-- ------- -------
-_/
When commenting
OYllt.
on of-~Y5'
behavlwt: it is
row
mDre we see-H1e
88
EFFECTIVE FEfDBAC"(6)
Don.t Seek One &lui-ion
/'
I
Explore Alternati'A3s
..,,"
,)
---------- - ---, A51 see It, -#teres " onl~ one wa~ +0 resolve ~
------------------
- "
: Why waste, time look,~ ) ~ for OI-her solution9 ? I : r bel ieve we've af read!:J got r ~ ) , a real winner here. ~
...
,"'----------------,
_--- - -.. -- ---------
~------------------,
I
,I
'"
\ our ideas.
./
Itt decisjon~makit1g and problem-solving, it helps +0 share views a V1d consider variou5 options {Ylstead ofjumpU19 at+l1e first aHmcfrve solution orinsisfing on OUY way.
89
+hiVlg
say or do.
"
:
I I
,
\'
\
\
\
'--------------~---; r----------------,
We snould meet Merlams :
relltUest tor final'lcia I help
I
"' 'I
1------ - - - --
absolute black or white. tJot perm'dfitl9 an~ difter~nces would be COYlsidered Qtl imposH1Ononolfters basic r!9ht5.
W~en d;~CU5Sjl1g issues of a subjective nature, it he!ps to view #t"ngs IVl Terms of shade!!> of 9rey ra#terfttan IY1
90
/N~~ CdDUju~tli~--'l
I:
h~b~~-~~~i~-:
----J
I
\,
----------------"
"---------------
allow m~ childrevr .fotnlk : back-fo me#te way you do, / \ well, fralse'ls
~ (
~I
effech"e.