Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Reconciliation
2013 Edition
Publication of Bukal Life Care, Inc.
Bukal Life Care Journal is a publication of Bukal Life Care, Inc., based in Baguio City Philippines. The goal of Bukal Life Care Journal is to print quality articles on various topics of pastoral care, psychotherapy, faith, and religion particularly those that focus on ho! these concepts relate to each other. Bukal Life Care Journal seeks to publish articles fro" a variety of vie!points. #s such, it "ust be understood, that the vie!points e$pressed in these articles are those of the authors, and not necessarily that of Bukal Life Care, its Board of Trustees, or its staff.
Bukal Life Care, Inc. (st 1loor, 2., Building Philippine Baptist Theological 3e"inary (4 Tacay +oad 5uisad &6// Baguio City, Philippines
by +yan Clark............................................ 8
#nfini!hed Bu!ine!! by Celia P. -unson...................................................... (& Em$racin% &ll 'e &re by Barbara #. -c5uire............................................... (8 (i!a!ter e!)on!e 2013 ................................................................................. (9
The (i!a!trou! and the Miraculou! by 1hey :indipan;Coyoy................. (4 (i!a!ter e!)on!e *olunteer +uide For eli%iou! Cri!i! Coun!elor! in the ,hili))ine! .............................................. &( ,hoto!................................................................................................................. &9 & -ear in e.ie/ 2013.................................................................................. 0/
The original plan for our &/(0 edition !as to have articles on reconciliation. #nd !e had so"e articles already sub"itted. ,o!ever, during the editing phase, Typhoon <olanda struck the Philippines. =ur group, Bukal Life Care transitioned rapidly into disaster response "ode. This, not surprisingly, slo!ed do!n both the !riting and the editing process. But it also gave strong "otivation to change the direction of this issue of the Journal. ,o! does one integrate disaster response !ith the sub>ect of +econciliation? +econciliation is a broad ter". In its Biblical sense it has the idea of change or e$change. Theologically, the ter" involves us changing, being reconciled, to@to!ard 5od. #dditionally, the ter" refers to 5od changing, being reconciled, to@to!ard As. ,o!ever, reconciliation has other uses. Be can be reconciled to others, and !e can be reconciled to ourselves. 'one of these really have "uch relevance to disasters and disaster response. In the end, rather than trying to >ustify !hy disasters and disaster response are appropriate for a >ournal on reconciliation, I chose to put in "aterial relating to disaster response because it is our reality. It is the biggest activity our counseling center did Cis doingD in &/(0. -ore broadly, !ith the "a>or earthquake in Bohol, and the hu"an;initiated disaster related to the kidnappings and village burnings in 2a"boanga, disaster and disaster response is the "ost i"portant characteristic of &/(0 in the Philippines. If I !anted to be clever, I "ight argue that it is on topic since it involves reconciliation !ith reality. That is "ore of a stretch than I care to "ake. But certainly it is i"portant and healthy to be reconciled !ith oneEs present reality, and hopeful !ith oneEs future. Perhaps this >ournal !ill do >ust that.
Then the handmaidens came near, they and their children, and they bowed themselves. And Leah also with her children came near, and bowed themselves: and after came Joseph near and Rachel, and they bowed themselves. And he said, what meanest thou by all this drove which I met? And he said, these are to find grace in the sight of my lord. And Esau said, I have enough, my brother; keep that thou hast unto thyself. (KJV) Here we see the bringing of two things that are different and in conflict together in a way creating healing of brokenness. Reconciliation is so important to Jesus that in the Be Attitudes he interprets the commandment, Do Not Kill with a story of brothers who cannot give offerings at the altar because they are still in an angered conflict with each other. In other words, Jesus is saying Its not good enough to just keep from killing each other we need to work things out. I believe that true Reconciliation is a Miracle. Its a miracle when it happens between us and God and its a miracle when it happens between us and members of our family. Several of you know that I was a hospice chaplain in the U.S. and I sat at the bedside with many people when they breathed their last breath. It was an honor. I learned so much through those experiences. One of the things I learned was that in order for people to experience the Peace of God Shalom they needed to reconcile with their family before they died. I dont think it was a matter of salvation, but my patients had an incredible vantage point perspective for how to view the rest of the world. That perspective was that our bonds with each other on Earth have significance beyond today and beyond this world. I cant completely explain it, but even Jesus saw the connection between our earthly relationships and our relationships with God. This is demonstrated in statements like, God will forgive us if we forgive others. And like this one from Matthew 5:24-25, First reconcile with your brother, then give your offerings at the altar. As a hospice chaplain, I will never forget Sam and Diane. Sam was Dianes son and they had not seen each other in almost 10 years. Diane was my patient diagnosed with HIV and dying from all its awful complications. Diane didnt want to talk to me at first. Many people whove lived as hard as Diane and have been burned as often as she by church folk usually dont warm up immediately to the chaplain. Eventually, however, Diane started to tell me her story. She had been
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abused by a relative as a teen, became addicted to drugs and eventually ran away when her family didnt believe her about the abuse. She came back pregnant and was ostracized by her family and church. She ran away again after the baby was born and would only come back every 4 or 5 years. This went on for nearly 30 years until Diane ended up in one of our hospices charity beds in the last months of her life. She finally gave the social worker and me permission to contact her family. They only lived about 45 minutes from our hospice. They came immediately: her father, mother, sister, nieces and nephews. They came every single day for two weeks. But Sam, her son, did not come. Sam wanted to come see his momma but he was angry and scared. Dianes health was deteriorating to the point where she had stopped speaking and hadnt eaten in almost two weeks. I told the family, Dianes time with us is coming to a closeif Sam wants to see his momma before she passes, he needs to come soon. They replied that maybe hed be able to come over on the weekend. I gently let them know that she wasnt going to make it to the weekend. They called Sam on his cell phone and it happened that he was in his truck driving around the block. He had been circling the neighborhood for an hour trying to reconcile his feelings and gain the courage to come visit his momma. About 20 more minutes after that call he entered the hospice. We visited outside Sams mothers room for a few minutes. Hed obviously been crying. He decided to go in to see her and we prepared him for what to expect. She didnt look like the woman he would be trying to remember. I also offered to go in the room with him but he refused everyones offer and he went into the room alone and closed the door. We could hear that 28 year old man crying from our camp in the hallway. We heard him say, I love you. We heard him say, I forgive you. Then, after what could not have been more than 5 minutes, we heard him yell, Oh momma! Oh momma! And in a voice that was directed toward the door of the room, Shes gonemy mommas gone. We took that as an invitation to re-enter the room and his family joined him in his grief. Sams face and shirt were soaked with tears and he was still holding her hand. Diane had suffered a lot in this world and could have easily slipped into the next any number of times in the months leading up to that day. But the hospice staff and I believed she was waiting to see her son. He was the one good thing shed done with her life, as she had told me, and was ashamed that her shame kept her from being the mother she felt he deserved. She needed his blessing to let go and he needed to give it to her. Ive given this a lot of thought and I think its because Forgiveness and Reconciliation are ingredients of Hope.
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A simple definition of hope (and one I like) is the belief that change is possible. And I will tell you how that change can occur. Most of us dont have very much power in this world. We dont set the taxi rate, we dont say when the bus runs, we dont control the weather, or the price of rice, or even our own health. But we do have control over some things. We have control over how we decide to relate and respond to other people. We may feel like we dont have much control over how we relate and respond to other people I must confess I often dont feel like I can control that. I have a younger sister and when we were young, we fought constantly. And we learned exactly what to do to irritate each other. Im older and stronger and I used to pin her down and let the spit fall from my mouth and then suck it up again. And when our mom wasnt home she would scream and get so angry. She was more calculated than me. She would wait and in the middle of dinner she would announce a sin I had committed and managed to keep from my parents. There we would be eating our dinner and my sister would blurt out, Ryan didnt go to the movies with his friends Saturday night, he went to a party to meet a girl. My sister and I would fight back and forth getting revenge until the whole family would explode in a big fight. This, by the way, is the opposite of reconciliation it is called retaliation. Retaliation is when both sides keep escalating attacks on each other until there is a war. It happens with politics, marriages, and with most relationships. The way we usually retaliate with people we dont live with anymore is with silence and avoidance. We dont have the energy or the desire to deal with someone so we avoid them and like the proverb says, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. Silence is better than escalating violence but its still far from reconciliation. When we open ourselves to being reconciled with others we open ourselves to being healed by the God of our hurts. We are making ourselves available to be used by God in our relationships to come to a better understanding of what God has done for us. James talks about how confessing to one another leads to healing. I believe what he is talking about is reconciliation. We have the power heal each others brokenness if we will come together and resolve the conflict between us and those we love. Im not going to fight with you anymore. I confess to you that I dont know what to do right now, but I want us to be reconciled. What do we need to do to transform this pain so we can stop transmitting it between us and to others around us?
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I dont have to get my way and Im asking you to stop trying to get your way too. Our relationship is more important than all these other things. The most broken relationships can be mended. They may not be exactly how they were before or exactly how we want them to be but healing can occur and when it does we find ourselves hopeful and leads us to experiencing the miracle of God called reconciliation.
11111111111111111 2There i! a !acredne!! in tear!. The" are not the mark of /eakne!!, $ut of )o/er. The" !)eak more elo3uentl" than ten thou!and ton%ue!. The" are the me!!en%er! of o.er/helmin% %rief, of dee) contrition, and of un!)eaka$le lo.e.2 1'a!hin%ton Ir.in%
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -Norman Cousins
faithful life was seen in the prosperity and health of the person. One could speak of the blessings of God being seen in that life as a reward for righteous living, and misfortune was taken as a sign of disobedience. A competing idea was that God is mystery and that fortune and misfortune were not signs of Gods favor or disfavor with a person. That position held that since God is mysterious, that Gods ways were beyond the ability of human kind to fully understand. Jobs friends believed, in noting the disastrous misfortunes of his life (losing wealth, family, and even health),that these were signs that he had secretly disobeyed God. Reconciliation, for them, meant confessing his sins and asking forgiveness. Job insisted that his life had been obedient to God, and that his misfortunes were beyond his understanding. The story seems to point, in the end, to Jobs acceptance that God is a mystery, that Gods ways are a mystery, but that in ones relationship with God one may expect to finally gain an understanding of ones experiences in Gods own time. The apostle Paul made it clear that a ministry of reconciliation was central to the life of all believers: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. So we are ambassadors for Christ, God making an appeal through us. (II Corinthians 5: 17-20a). Evangelists focus on this passage as a calling for us to bring the whole world into a saving relationship with our Creator. In pastoral care the effort is made to offer that ministry to any who are seeking to restore peace. The question is, how do we do that? One of the basic elements within the skill set of pastoral counselors must be the capacity for empathy. Nearly everyone is capable of sympathy, but offering the gift of empathy is crucial in a ministry of reconciliation. It is necessary for each belief about what is held to be true to be given a chance to be understood. This goes beyond just hearing ones belief. It means that a person becomes convinced that the counselor understands their point of view and its meaning to them. Empathic listening encourages the other to share their understanding of truth without a hint of judgement. The counselor promotes a description from the other that is as exhaustive in scope as the one in need is willing to express. That encouragement comes by avoiding asking very many questions. Instead, the counselor responds to the one talking with feeling words that reflect the counselors accurate understanding of what has been described. In the event that the person is convinced that the counselor understands what they are describing it is often the case that they will continue to elaborate with more depth because they trust that they are being correctly understood.
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What so many people bring into the counseling arena is the experience that no one has listened to them without bias and in a way that brought them to the belief that someone fully understood them. A couple of words of caution about the use of empathy. Just because the counselor understands the point of view of the one talking does not mean that the counselor agrees that what has been described is the full truth. It is just that persons understanding of the truth. The second caution is that because empathy deepens the experience of the one talking it should not be utilized when working with depressed persons. A ministry of wholeness does not want to exacerbate mental illnesses. Empathic listening is not an exact science. Listening with understanding means tapping into ones own experiences and attempting to find some resonance with what is being described. When the counselor misses the meaning of what the other is attempting to describe it can often lead to the end of any meaningful work with the client. If there is a bond of trust between the counselor and the client it sometimes occurs that the client will correct the counselors perception and continue. A complicating dynamic may occur in empathic listening. Some clients are surprised and then subsequently discomforted by the depth of sharing that has resulted from this kind of listening. Some will retreat from the experience and choose to end their work with the counselor, but many find a new sense of hope in being so fully understood. As this article is being written there is an internationally high profile story about a famous athlete being tried for the murder of his girlfriend. The prosecution is absolutely convinced from their assessment of the evidence that this was a premeditated act of aggression. The one accused is making the case that this killing was an unfortunate result of a misunderstanding of what was occurring at the time. It is the job of the court to fully understand both arguments and make a judgement about which represents the whole truth. Pastoral counseling that focuses on reconciliation is somewhat similar in function. It is not so much an effort to decide between two or more points of view as it is an effort to bring all parties to an understanding of how each saw truth. The gift of empathic listening often allows a person to describe their understanding of truth that brings them into a greater awareness of why they see the world the way they do. Perhaps some early trauma shaped a persons responses to others and they have blocked memories of that event. Being fully understood by someone who is trustworthy may open insights not considered for long periods in ones life. Those insights may become the avenue toward healing the divisions they experience and regaining harmony.
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#nfini!hed Bu!ine!!
By Celia P. -unson <Note: na es and !ir!u stan!es in this story ha"e been !on#identiality.$ odi#ied to aintain
I "et #nna at one of our se"inars for Crisis Intervention. I noticed her especially during the ti"e of crisis group intervention. 3he !as there but not +)#LL< there. 3he !as staring afar !ith a blank look on her face, and she !as not interacting !ith others in the group. #t the end of the group session, she slipped out quietly !ithout being noticed. I !ould not have paid "uch attention to her e$cept that her niece approached "e and related ho! her aunt had not been the sa"e since the death of three of the "e"bers of her fa"ily in the recent disaster. Bhen her niece described #nna and !here she had been sitting up against the door of the classroo", I realiFed to !ho" she !as referring. .uring the break for lunch, I sa! #nna again... sort of by herself, though she !as busy helping in the dining hall. I "ade "y !ay to her to introduce "yself. I asked her personally ho! she has been doing, and if it !as okay if !e could talk in a "ore private place. 3he said it !as okay to talk in the hall. It !as so"e!hat hard to hear her because she !as quite soft;spoken. #nna began to talk about her daughter, 3andra. 3andra had al!ays been an obedient daughter. But three days before the disaster, #nna discovered, un!ittingly, that her daughter !as planning to "arry a "an. #nna !as convinced that this "an !as '=T the right husband for 3andra. 3he had not been infor"ed and had not been sought for blessing. Because of the depth of her disapproval and anger, #nna slashed herself in the abdo"en publicly. 3he felt that doing this !ould de"onstrate the intensity of her re>ection of 3andraEs choice for a husband, and her o!n unhappiness !ith not being consulted. CThe slashing event !as related by the niece, rather than #nna.D
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Three days after the slashing event, disaster struck the co""unity and a"ong those killed !ere #nnaEs husband and t!o of her children Cincluding 3andraD, 3adly, there !as no reconciliation before this tragedy. #nna, 3andra, and other "e"bers of the fa"ily had unfinished business. It !ill take ti"e for #nna to co"e to ter"s !ith this;; a horrible event co"pounded by the fact that it occurred !ithout a chance to be reconciled. =ne difficulty !ith crisis care is its short duration. =ne co"es into the lives of those !ho have suffered devastation, and tries to provide so"e s"all a"ount of closure. <et !hen there is unfinished business, "ore ti"e is needed, to care for those !ho are e$periencing co"plicated grief. +eflecting back on this conversation, I realiFe that kno!ing a bit of the background story of #nna prior to "y encounter !ith her "ight have helped. But perhaps not. 3he "ight not have been open to share regardless because !e had not established a deep enough relationship as yet. I can hope and pray that those close to her !ill give her the freedo" and ti"e to e$press her grief in a !ay that !ill give her healing. 1or "yself, I realiFe ho! i"portant it is to take care of unfinished business before it is too late.
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4The $ittere!t tear! !hed o.er %ra.e! are for /ord! left un!aid and deed! left undone.5 16arriet Beecher 7to/e
4Be an%r" $ut do not !in8 do not let the !un %o do/n on "our an%er,...5 E)he!ian! 9:2;
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Sadness is not the opposite of happiness. It is one of the myriad ways in which we respond from our whole self to what life brings. It is a path toward healing lifes hurts. Let the anguish in your heart be heard. !!A. "ue#ada
Bhen so"eone !e love dies, the body reacts !ith shock. The circulation slo!s, breathing is shallo! and !e beco"e disoriented. #fter the nu"bness !ears off, our bones ache and our "uscles are sore. Be have no interest in food and although !e "ight feel e$hausted !hen !e go to bed, !e often canGt sleepH or !e sleep too "uch. This is ho! the body grieves. 5rief affects our body, "ind and soul. 'onetheless, e$pectations are put upon the grieving !ithin our Bestern society that encourage people to deaden their pain, avoid it or !orse, pretend it is not there. Be are socialiFed to believe that !hen a loved one dies !e are suppose to Iget on !ith our livesG, Iget back to nor"alG or Iget over our grief.J These "istaken beliefs create an environ"ent for the grieving that is unrealistic. <et these "yths perpetuate throughout our society because they beco"e part of the cultural belief syste" about the grieving processH they are inaccurate and !rong. People !ill co"pare grieving to living through a long !interH !here life lies dor"ant in those long, dark, cold "onthsH feeling it i"possible that one day there !ill again be spring. .espite the fact that "any people have gone through this !interH they continue to devalue the i"portance and value of
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e$pressing feelings that acco"pany grief. 5rieving and supporting the grieving involves !ork. 3ocietyEs unrealistic e$pectations and inappropriate response to nor"al grief reactions can "ake the e$perience !orse than it needs to be. Bhen a loved one has died and the person grieving hears unhealthy suggestions, it creates "ore confusion. The griever !ould have fe!er conflicts about e$pressing their grief if those around the" !ould pro"ote the e$pression of these feelings. Pro"otion of feelings !ould allo! for "ore realistic e$pectations about the grief process and acceptance of the e$pression of these feelings !ould help in the healingH creating less conflict for the griever. .r. Candace Pert, a neuroscientist and phar"acologist, confir"s the necessity of all e"otions !hen she says, -all e otions are healthy, be!ause e otions are 'hat unite the ind and body. .n/er, #ear, and sadness, the so0 !alled ne/ati"e e otions, are as healthy as &ea!e, !oura/e, and 1oy. It is ti"e for all clinicians to beco"e a support to grievers, not an obstacle. Bhy do !e avoid this pain? #s a culture !e have been taught to run fro" the IbadG feelings, !hich hold >ust as "uch if not "ore value than the IgoodG feelings. -y clientGs fight back their tears, hold their breath and Isuck it upG. =ur culture teaches us that e$pressing our feelings is a sign of !eakness. <et the opposite is trueK Clinicians need to encourage their clients to cry, shriek, screa", and !ail. =ur hearts are broken and it is in that !eeping !here our healing !ill begin. BouldnGt it be !onderful if !e could openly e$press all the e"otions !e have been fortunate to receive? In conversation !ith psychotherapist and colleague, Perry -iller, I "entioned ho!, L#s a culture !e run fro" the EbadE feelings !hich hold >ust as "uch, if not "ore, value than the EgoodE feelingsJ. Perry replied, MI !ish clinical chaplains and psychotherapists could e"brace that truth rather than having to support and encourage at the e$pense of the substance of genuine e$pression of hu"anity and suffering fro" those !ho" they e$tend their careJ. I couldnGt agree "ore, this tension of oppositesH your body tells you one thing
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and culture teaches so"ething else. Be !ant to cry but !e hold back our tears. Be feel one !ay but are taught to act in another. Jung encourages us to, M5o into your grief for there your soul !ill gro!J. #s clinicians it is our role to assist clients in recogniFing the soul !ork of grieving, >ust as natureGs !ork of rene!al, cannot be rushed. 3o"eti"es it is enough to bear !itness. =r as T.3. )liot eloquently said* MThe faith and the hope and the love are all in the !aiting.J #s clinicians it is our >ob to invite our clients into so"ething ne!. Be can only do so if !e ourselves believe it. 3o let us not shrink fro" the darkness but rather, gathering strength fro" natureGs e$a"ple, !ait patiently and faithfully for spring.
7ome of our 7taff at our <ffice Beck", Jo"ce, Celia, Bo$, ,tr. Bart, Jehn"
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%$e situation in =a +oan*a was a an< ade disaster wit$ an( "illa*es destro(ed due to !oliti#al>reli*ious #onfli#t t$ere. 5it$ %(!$oon 4olanda, t$ese ot$er !la#es were sadl( often i*nored. 5e were $a!!( t$at we were still a+le to do so e work in Bo$ol, alt$ou*$ u! to t$is !oint we still $a"e not +een a+le to work out t$e arran*e ents to assist in =a +oan*a. %$e (ear ended wit$ t$e for ation of ?)ro7e#t Le(te,@ a !artners$i! +etween Ba*uio>Ben*uet #$a!ters of t$e )$ili!!ine 3urses 0sso#iation 9)30: and )$ili!!ine Auidan#e Counselors 0sso#iation 9)AC0:, =ero -istan#e fro t$e )$ili!!ines, and Bukal Life Care. %$e *oal is to train nurses, #ounselors, and #$a!lains in adult and #$ild defusin* and de+riefin*, and t$en do edi#al and !s(#$olo*i#al #are in Le(te. B( t$e end of 2013, initial trainin* $ad +een #o !leted, wit$ initial !lans for !ro7e#t work in Le(te started. 0dditional !lans for work elsew$ere in t$e Bisa(as were also +ein* de"elo!ed +( (ears end. 90s of t$e writin* of t$is arti#le, t$e fruit of t$is work is still not known.: It is wort$ notin* t$at ot$ers asso#iated wit$ and trained +( Bukal $a"e +een a+le to do #onsidera+le work in disaster res!onse in 2013 as well. C)&)<)$ili!!ines, an or*aniCation t$at *rew out of t$e #$a!lain#( !ro*ra of Bukal Life Care, $as +een a+le to do #onsidera+le work +ot$ in t$e Danila 9wit$ refu*ees: and in %a#lo+an. %$e work is $eaded +( /o(#e Ara(, national #oordinator for C)&)<)I, and $ead of C); for Bukal Life Care. %$e followin* arti#les 9one a testi onial and t$e ot$er a set of *uidelines for disaster res!onse "olunteers: and !i#tures relate to so e of t$e "arious as!e#ts of t$is disaster res!onse effort.
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shampoo, juice, and more. While many resources are being brought to Tacloban and Leyte, many places such as some areas of Iloilo and Capiz were also so much affected, and we witnessed that in our road trips. They need more help. Some things that are needed include: Rice Drinking water Construction materials for rebuilding houses (especially roofing) School supplies for 200 children... pre-school and grades 1-3. Motorboats for transportation and for fishing (most of Baliguian Island's boat transportation were destroyed). Desalinization equipment.
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Disaster Response Volunteer Guide For Religious Crisis Counselors in the Philippines
Adapted primarily from Disaster Relief guidelines from Ohio, Maryland, and Virginia Baptists
Preparation
Think About Before You Go: 1. If employed or a student, discuss your situation with your employer/school. Be sure your absence for disaster response is fully approved. Do not jeopardize your employment or education. 2. Ensure your family are supportive of your decision to join. 3. Look over the "What to Take" checklist and have on hand basic items. Add any items that you know you might need for health, safety, comfort and efficiency. 4. Keep Emergency Contact and Insurance information, 5. Make arrangements with family, church, civic clubs, etc. for someone to cover for you while you are away. 6. Keep phone numbers and e-mail addresses related to your team/organization relief network. 7. Participate in as much training, drills, and demonstrations as you can avail of. 8. If you have any questions, ask before you commit. Questions You Should Ask 1. Why do I want to help? 2. Am I able to handle the stress of helping others? 3. How stressful is it to my family that I give time to helping others? 4. Do I give myself time and permission to grieve about the losses in my life? Or do I stay so busy that I overlook this important part of my own recovery? 5. Do I eat right and get plenty of rest so I can remain healthy? 6. Do my spouse and children still have proper priority in my life or am I Ietting volunteer work edge them out? 7. Is what I'm doing in accordance with God's will for my life? You Should Be Prepared To: 1. Recognize stress in yourself.
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2. 3. 4. 5.
Participate each day in the team debriefing during the disaster response. Monitor your own own...frequency of rest, length of work time, personal food needs, shelter and privacy, and personal support system. Work as part of a team, not be a lone ranger. Say No! You cannot say Yes all of the time and survive.
Things to Bring
Devotional Materials: _____ Bible _____ Notebook for Journaling with pen/pencil _____ Daily devotional book (optional) Identification: _____ Disaster relief ID _____ Personal ID _____ Insurance info _____ Medical care guidelines (if you have special needs) Health, Safety & Hygiene: _____ Medicineprescription and nonprescription _____ Allergy kit (if needed) _____ Sunblock (SPF15+) _____ Soap (body and laundry) _____ Deodorant _____ Antibiotic ointment _____ Towel/washcloth _____ Tooth brush/tooth paste _____ Shampoo _____ Comb/brush _____ Chap stick/Lip balm _____ Razor/shaving cream _____ Antacids _____ Insect spray _____ Anti-fungal medication _____ Vitamins Food Drink: _____ Snacks _____ Special Diet foods (if necessary) _____ Drinking water Supplies and equipment: _____ Flash light (extra batteries or hand winding) _____ Watch/alarm clock _____ Clear water bottle (for drinking and solar disinfection) _____ Bedding/tent (if needed)
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Clothing: _____ 4-7 days supply of clothing (practical, comfortable, condition appropriate) _____ Hat _____ Work gloves _____ Sleepwear _____ Work shoes/waterproof footwear _____ Raincoat or other wet weather gear _____ Duffle bag _____ Laundry bag (for dirty clothes) Other: _____ Cash Money (perhaps P500 to P1000 per day on travel) _____ Inexpensive Camera (use with caution and respect) _____ Inexpensive Cellphone (with adequate load) Heart inventory "Am I..." _____ Ready to really help? _____ Going only out of duty? _____ Ever resentful of demands made on me? _____ Willing to take directions from others? _____ Part of the team? _____ There to help people in need? _____ Willing to work wherever/whatever needed? _____ Willing to get special training? _____ Suspicious of people who ask for help? _____ Picking and choosing who is deserving of help? _____ Willing to be Christ's hands, feet, and voice?
Team Considerations
A team is crafted, not thrown together. Willingness to go is not enough. Team should have an overall team leader... a mature and organized person to ensure safety and effectivity of the team. The leader should be able to make difficult decisions but should have the self-confidence to listen to team members. Team should also have someone to handle the first aid kit with at least basic skills in first aid. Team should have someone willing and able to provide counseling for team members. Team should have group devotions together if possible. Teams should meet before the trip for planning, meet during the trip for monitoring/conversation, and meet after for evaluation/debrief. It is okay to have one or two non-Christians on the team as long as they agree to appropriate conduct. Seeing mature Christians serving God faithfully SHOULD be a good testimony to them.
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Scriptures to Consider
1. 2. 3.
4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
How did God deal with Elijah's personal crisis in I Kings 19? What are some ways we serve Jesus in Matt. 25:31-46? How might God's attitude be different from ours when it comes to people who are different than ourselves (by race, nationality, faith, etc.) based on Jonah ch. 4? What are some aspects of true religion and worship based on Isaiah 58? How are some ways we care for those in crisis based on Luke 10:25-37 How might a Biblical understanding of love, as described in I Cor. 13, have bearing on disaster response? What is God's priority based on Luke ch. 15? What can we learn about the church and Christian teams from Acts 4:3237.
These are just a few. Times of crisis often give us a fresh perspective on passages of Scripture that we have ignored or, conversely, have read to the point that they have lost their freshness for us. Use this time to wrestle, creatively, with God's word, your relationship with God, and your role as a servant of Christ.
Additional Thoughts
Basic Listening Skills 1. Look at the person, giving him/her your complete attention. 2. Give occasional responses to let the person know you understandnod head, change expressions, make oral response, ask questions. 3. Paraphrase and ask for clarification. Do not put words in the victim's mouth. Don't shut off valuable conversation with yes/no questions and cliche's. 4. Don't pretend that you understand what they are going through (you don't), but make it clear you are trying your best to understand. 5. Avoid interrupting, if possible, unless there is real confusion. 6. Be tolerant and be willing to accept new ideas. Don't moralize or condemn. As a Spiritual Healer Give hopeful truth. Do not tell what is false (not only is it wrong, but it will make the victim not trust you). But sprinkle truth with hope. No matter how bleak things appear, there is always hope. Let them understand this. Some will be angry at God, and as a representative of God, some will be angry at you. You don't need to defend God or yourself. Usually, this is just part of their process of recovery. Deep questions are usually rhetorical. When someone asks Why did this happen to me? they are not looking for you to give them an answer. That's good, since you don't really know. This is not the time to dust off your theology books and start trying to give your theories on human suffering or divine sovereignty. Don't proselytize (unless asked to by the victim) This is a touchy issue. Some feel that crises are perfect times to push for someone to convert.
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There are several reasons not to. First, people undergoing trauma rarely have the ability to make a real major life change (you are seeking spiritual conversion not just a mumbled prayer). Second, if the victim believes you care more about your church's statistics than himself, your testimony of actions is lost. Third, your team may not be welcome to help if it is seen simply as an evangelism ministry. But, please share Christ's love through your action and make it clear who you are and who you truly represent. Your role is not just spiritual. Be prepared to help in questions about getting food, medical care, locating loved ones, etc. If you don't know these things, find out.
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On Site
Upon Arrival
The team leader will check in at the Incident Command Post. The team leader will be provided with the details concerning your stay such as sleeping arrangements, meals, showers, team assignments, etc. These details may change if the situation is in flux. Note: a team should work within the response command structure.
DO: Represent Jesus Christ in word and deed always Be flexible! Listen to victims Keep victims information in confidence Respect the victims property Ask permission before photographing Be sure of your information Refer to qualified person if necessary Make adjustments as needed Understand you limitations Pray without ceasing and rely on God DO NOT: Tell YOUR story or think it is about YOU Use careless words or actions or spread rumors Accept financial contributions Speak to the media without unit leaders permission Exceed your training Expect favors Expect to work only with your group Whine or complain!!
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Photos
Cebu-Ormoc Trip
Cebu-Ormoc Team 27
Much of this was due to Typhoon Yolanda. However, even before the typhoon we were finding it necessary to refocus on our disaster response program. Bukal Life Care started (back when it was called Bukal Life Ministries) in doing disaster response with Typhoon Pepeng and Tropical Storm Ondoy. In June of 2013 we were asked to do crisis stress defusing with people in Buguias in response to a major traffic accident and loss of life. This started us on retraining in this area. In October we were asked about helping with stress defusing people (especially children) dispossessed in Zamboanga due to village burnings, and those suffering from the earthquake in Bohol. We were already investigating options to do something in these locations when Typhoon Yolanda arrived and dominated our activities in November and December. All of this has made it clear the importance of, in some way, returning to our roots. We need to be ready, and ready to training others, in both crisis stress defusing and crisis stress debriefing.
Training
1. Missionary Member Care. Led by Robert Munson. May (2-week Summer module). PBTS. 11 trainees 2. Growth Groups. Led by Joyce Gray. August October 2013. PBTS. 6 trainees 3. Pastoral Care Basics. Led by Celia Munson. At Serving Neighbors Network, Baguio City. Training. 2 days. 8 trainees January 2013 4. Life Care Training Led by Bob and Celia Munson. At Sefton Village,
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Santiago, Isabela. 1.5 days. 20 trainees. Training Sefton Village February 22-23 5. Crisis Care Training. Led by Celia Munson. At The Hub Student Center, La Trinidad. 1 evening. 7 trainees. June 8 6. Stress Management. Led by Dr. Sim Dang-Awan. Dept of Agriculture, Banaue. May 23 7. AV-STM Member Care Training. Celia: Basic First Aid for STMers. 8. CPSP Symposium in Baguio. Led by Dr. Cesar Espineda. PBTS Oct 2012 UC Oct 2012 9. Solidarity for families and PWDs. AVRC Region 1. Led by Celia. Sep 26. 10. Child Abuse. 1.5 hour lecture by Celia Munson at Benguet State. Oct 4 11. Loss and Grief seminar. Led by Celia. At Trinidad Baptist Church. Jul. 12. Disaster Response/NOVA training, PBTS, 4 hours, 25 trainees, Nov 13. Crisis Care/Child Traumatic Stress, AV-STM, 4 hours, 15 trainees, Nov 14. Project Leyte Crisis Debrief/Defuse Training. Organized by PNABaguio/Benguet, PGCA-Baguio/Benguet, Zero Distance to the Philippines, and Bukal Life Care. Dec 27/28. Modules led by several including Celia and Jehny.
Ministry
1.
2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
Disaster Response, Buguias, Benguet June 13-14 100 people. Training and Stress Defusing. Disaster Response, Ormoc and Tacloban. Led by Dr. Nori Lacquian. Alexis joined. Relief work and defusing. Disaster Response, Iloklan Team. Numancia, Iloilo, and Baliguian, Concepcion, Iloilo. Defusing, Relief Goods, Training. Disaster Response, Cebu and Ormoc. Stress Defusing, Training for ministry leaders in Cebu, led by Ptr. Arnold Arquillano. Dec Disaster Response, Bilar, Bohol. Relief goods, Defusing, and Training led by Bob, Celia, and Dr. Erlyn Santos. ALS visitation and gift-giving at Crystal Cave, Baguio, (12 helped) and Mother and Children's Health Outreach, San Isidro, Agoo (80 helped). Organized by Angie Gomez. February 2013. Missionary Member Care Trip to Cambodia. Jehny Pedazo. AG Team and AV-STM May 2013 Dozens of pastoral care, crisis care, and missionary member care services provided by staff members. Staff development training not-fully organized but on-going. Bob and Celia received 2-weeks of training in Missionary member care in Chiang Mai Thailand, Nov 2013. Narramore Christian Foundation. Several staff members continuing in their training toward Registered Guidance Counselor. Celia, Joyce, Jehny, Alexis, Becky, and Maricel received briefing in DSM-V for children in August. Parents' Congress, attended by Celia, Jehny, Joyce, Becky, Maricel, Cori. Organizers: Sunflower Children's Center, and Child & Family Services. Becky Taylor attended ACCPEF Training in Manila April 29.
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CPSP Plenary Conference attended by Joyce Gray Mar 2013. Rules and Regulations of RA 10029, attended by Joyce, Alexis, and Maricel, Feb 5. Led by PRC. Columbo Drug Abuse Training. Attended by Serafina Tenenan Therapies for Kids led by Jojet Mondares. Attended by Celia, Cori, Jehny, Bart, and Sera. Dec 2013
Staff
1. Bob Munson: Administrator (Head of Support) 2. Celia Munson: Training Coordinator 3. Joyce Gray: CPE Coordinator 4. Jehny Pedazo: Life Care Coordinator and Finance 5. Becky Taylor: Office and Publicity (Part of Support) Others staff members include:: -Ptr. Bart Dela Cruz -Maricel Tindungan -Cori Mariano -Serafina Tenenan -Alexis Mendoza
Board of Trustees
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. Mr. Joselito Mercedes: President Sr. Patricia Martinez, Vice President Padi Penelope Caytap, Secretary Mrs. Celia Munson, Treasurer Dr. Simplicio Dang-Awan Attorney Dexter Diwas Ms. Julie Sibuacao Ptr. Conrad Garcia Ms. Jehny Pedazo Mrs. Wilmalyn Awingan, RGC Mr. Rolando Malafu, RGC
Name
In December 2013, the staff met and agreed in their desire to officially change the name of the organization from Bukal Life Care & Counseling Center, Inc., to Bukal Life Care, Inc. The primary reason is that it simplifies the role of our organization legally. The term Counseling Center has legal baggage associated with it that doesn't necessarily fit a pastoral care center. Additionally, the name Bukal Life Care is simpler, easier to remember, and how we commonly refer to our organization anyway. Informal polling of the board of trustees suggests that the change is supported by a majority of them. In fact, in 2012, the board had recommended investigation into the changing of the name. Because of all of this, we are in the process of changing our documents to the new name (including this journal), while in 2014, the Board will formally vote on the change.
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Our Vision
To provide life care and training services to holistically transform lives, families, and communities.
Our Mission
We integrate spiritual and psychological insight to promote holistic growth through pastoral care of individuals, conflict resolution of social groups, and training for ministerial caregivers in the Philippines.
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Contributors
Ryan Clark, D.Min. Presently serves with Cooperative Baptist Fellowship in Missionary Training. He received his D.Min from McAfee School of Theology. Previously, he served with his wife, Cindy, as missionaries in Baguio City, Philippines. During that time, he taught classes in Pastoral Care at Philippine Baptist Theological Seminary (PBTS). He also served as part of Bukal Life Care as a CPE SIT. Charles M. Benton. Has his B.A. From Furman University and MDiv from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.He served as a Baptist Campus Minister, Pastor of several churches in Virginia (USA), and Crisis care trainer for the Virginia Baptist Mission Board. He deployed in crisis care internationally in Grenada, India, and Hungary. He also provided training for Bukal Life Care and others during two visits to the Philippines in 2009 and 2010. He still provides consultancy for Bukal. Celia P. Munson. Is the Training Coordinator for Bukal Life Care. She received her MDiv from PBTS and BS Nursing from Saint Louis University. She is a Clinical Chaplain/Pastoral Counselor. Additionally, she is a CPSP-certified Supervisor-in-Training for Clinical Pastoral Education, and Virginia Baptist Disaster Response certified Crisis Chaplain. Celia and her husband Bob, are two of the founders of Bukal Life Care. Barbara McGuire, LCSW Works as a bereave"ent counselor for ,ospice Care 'et!ork C,C'D in 'e! <ork. 3he provided individual and group support to patient fa"ilies at ,C'. Barbara also provides these supports for "e"bers of the local co""unity. Barbara is the registrar for CP3P. Fhey Kindipan-Coyoy. 1hey and her husband <srael are pastors at #BCChurch C#rise and Build for Christ -inistriesD in Baguio City. 3he received her -.iv fro" PBT3. 3he is an active leader and coordinator for #sia %ision* 3hort;ter" -issions. 1hey is a "e"ber and trainee !ith CP3P and Bukal Life Care. #dditionally, she is ad>unct facutly at Philippine #sia Bible College.
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