GETTING ANGER UNDER CONTROL By Neil T.

Anderson & Rich Miller Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 19 !, 19 ", 19 #, 19 $, 19%1, 19%", 19%#, 19%&, 19%%, 199& b' (he )ockman *oundation+ Used b' permission+ ,erses marked N-, are taken from the .ol' Bible/ New -nternational ,ersion+ N-,+ 0op'ri1ht 19%#, 19%$, 19$2 b' the -nternational Bible Societ'+ Used b' permission of 3onder4an 5ublishin1 .ouse+ (he 6N-,7 and 6New -nternational ,ersion7 trademarks are re1istered in the United States 5atent and (rademark 8ffice b' -nternational Bible Societ'+ ,erses marked N9:, are taken from the New 9in1 :ames ,ersion+ 0op'ri1ht 19$" b' (homas Nelson, -nc+ Used b' 5ermission+ All ri1hts reser4ed+ ,erses marked 9:, are taken from the 9in1 :ames ,ersion of the Bible+ ,erses marked (.; <;SSA=; are taken from (he <essa1e+ 0op'ri1ht b' ;u1ene .+ 5eterson 199#, 1992, 199&+ Used b' permission of Na45ress 5ublishin1 =roup+ All ri1hts reser4ed+ 0o4er b' (err' >u1an >esi1n, <inneapolis, <innesota

GETTING ANGER UNDER CONTROL 0op'ri1ht "!!" b' Neil (+ Anderson and ?ich <iller 5ublished b' .ar4est .ouse 5ublishers ;u1ene, 8re1on 9%2!" )ibrar' of 0on1ress 0atalo1in1@in@5ublication >ata Anderson, Neil (+, 192"A -ncludes biblio1raphical references+ -SBN !@%# 9@!#29@ -+ <iller, ?ich, 19&2A --+ (itle+ B,2 "%+A& A&# "!!" "2$+2Bdc"1 "!!1!&1&%& All ri1hts reser4ed+ No part of this publication ma' be reproduced, stored in a retrie4al s'stem, or transmitted in an' form or b' an' meansBelectronic, mechanical, di1ital, photocop', recordin1, or an' otherBeCcept for brief quotations in printed re4iews, without the prior permission of the publisher+ 5rinted in the United States of America+ !" !# !2 !& ! !% !$ !9 B0@,S 1! 9 $ % &2#"1

A WORD OF DEDICATION
(he terrorist attack of September 11, "!!1, on the Dorld (rade 0enter and the 5enta1on, occurred as we were doin1 the final editin1 of this book+ (he shock of this terrible tra1ed' was felt deepl' b' us as well as b' people all around the world+ Americans responded in disbelief and wondered how this could happen to us, a peace@lo4in1 nation+ But what was intended to dishearten and destro' us took a different turn+ -t brou1ht out a heroic spirit of brotherhood and re4ealed that the church is still the soul of America+ (hese deplorable acts of 4iolence brou1ht about a ri1hteous indi1nation that caused our countr' to unite a1ainst 1odless terrorism+ (his act of war is e4idence of the continuin1 battle between 1ood and e4il bein1 fou1ht on this planet+ (he battle is not between 0hristians and <uslims, nor is it between America and the Arab world+ Sadl', howe4er, some of our an1er o4er this is not ri1hteous and has brou1ht out the worst of our bi1otr' and hatred+ De do not know at this writin1 what action our countr' is 1oin1 to take to seek Eustice, but we pra' that we will seek Eustice, not re4en1e+ De also pra' that our response will be made not out of pride, but out of humilit'+ (his is a time to humble oursel4es, turn from our self@centered wa's, and pra'+ De could be on the 4er1e of a worldwide conflict, or we could be witnessin1 the be1innin1 of a worldwide re4i4al+

<a'be both+ But if a re4i4al is comin1, 6)ord, let it be1in with usF7 (his book is dedicated to the policemen and firemen who 1a4e their li4es that others could li4e+ -t is dedicated to the innocent 4ictims on the commercial airplanes used as weapons of war+ -t is dedicated to the memor' of the mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters who lost their li4es that tra1ic mornin1 in New Gork, 5enns'l4ania, and Dashin1ton, >+0+ *inall', it is dedicated to all those ser4in1 in the armed forces who face the prospect of d'in1 for their countr', for the cause of Eustice and freedom+ *reedom has alwa's come with a priceH it cost the life of :esus in order that we mi1ht be ali4e and free in .im+ De know lo4e b' this, that .e laid down .is life for usH and we ou1ht to la' down our li4es for the brethren+ B1 :ohn #/1

Neil and ?ich September "!!1

CONTENTS
Dedic !ion No!e Fro" The A#!hors An An$er E%ide"ic & r! I' (o) An$er Wor*s in +o# 0hapter 1+ An1erBA <atter of )ife and >eath 0hapter "+ =oals and >esires 0hapter #+ Be An1r' but >onIt Sin 0hapter 2+ <ental Stron1holds 0hapter &+ *lesh 5atterns of An1er & r! II' (o) Gr ce nd For$i,eness Wor* in +o# 0hapter + AmaJin1 =race 0hapter %+ =race for )ife 0hapter $+ (he Need to *or1i4e 0hapter 9+ *or1i4in1 from the .eart & r! III' (o) God-s &o)er Wor*s in +o# 0hapter 1!+ -tIs a <ad, <ad Dorld 0hapter 11+ A 5eace of Gour <ind 0hapter 1"+ 0onnectin1 to the 5ower 0hapter 1#+ Breakin1 Stron1holds of An1er, 5art 8ne 0hapter 12+ Breakin1 Stron1holds of An1er, 5art (wo S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! No!es

A NOTE FROM T(E AUT(ORS -n relatin1 true stories and testimonies throu1hout the book, we ha4e chan1ed names to protect indi4idual identit' and pri4ac'+ *or ease of readin1 we ha4e usuall' not distin1uished oursel4es from each other in authorship or eCperiences, preferrin1 to use 6-7 and 6we7 as opposed to 6- K?ichL7 or 6- KNeilL+7 (he eCceptions are illustrations referrin1 to famil'+

AN ANGER E&IDEMIC (he world has a serious and 1rowin1 problem with an1er, and America is no eCception+ A recent U+S+ News poll re4ealed that 6a 4ast maEorit' of Americans feel their countr' has reached an ill@mannered watershed+ Nine out of 1! Americans think inci4ilit' is a serious problem, and nearl' half think it is eCtremel' serious+ Se4ent'@ei1ht percent sa' the problem has worsened in the last 1! 'ears+71 -n the U+S+ workplace, more than " million people each 'ear are 4ictims of crime, with %& percent of those cases bein1 simple assaults+ Dorkers a1ed #& to 29 are the most common tar1ets, with #% percent of them per 'ear becomin1 4ictims of workplace 4iolence+ *rom 1992 to 199 , businesses ranked 4iolence in the workplace as their number one concern+" Why Are We So An$ry. Dh' ha4e our offices and places of business become hotbeds for an1erM )eslie 0harles, in her book Dh' -s ;4er'one So 0rank'M writes, 65eople sa' work isnIt fun like it used to be+ (he' donIt ha4e time+ (he' are alwa's behind the ei1ht ball+ (he' are alwa's put on the spot+ (he'Ire asked to mo4e in one direction, then told to completel' switch and mo4e in another direction+7# A recent newspaper article painted this picture of a

whitecollar worker/ GouIre stuck in traffic, makin1 'ou late to work for the third time in a week+ Dalkin1 in the door, 'ou pass b' a co@worker 'ou cannot stand, who offers 'ou a fake smile and a 6'ouIre late7 comment+ Gou keep walkin1, but the an1er that is simmerin1 below the surface be1ins to mo4e to the top+ Upon reachin1 'our desk, 'ou notice a stack of work waitin1 that 'our boss wants done 6ASA5+7 Gou think about ha4in1 a cup of coffee, then notice someone took the last drop and didnIt bother refillin1 the pot+ About now, it feels like the top of 'our head ma' come off+ Gou are trul' crank', and itIs not e4en 9 A+<+2 A recent =allup poll found that 29 percent of those sur4e'ed 1enerall' eCperience an1er at work, with one out of siC becomin1 so an1r' that he or she felt like hittin1 another person+& Addin1 to this, an -nternet sur4e' conducted b' Access Atlanta disco4ered that % percent of those respondin1 had become so an1r' at work that the' had thou1ht about slappin1 a co@ worker+ ;scapin1 a hostile work en4ironment b' retreatin1 to the peace and safet' of our homes doesnIt appear to be an answer+ ;Cperts in the field of domestic 4iolence belie4e that the true incidence of 6partner 4iolence7 is around 2 million occurrences annuall'+ (hirt' percent of American women report that their husband or bo'friend has, at one time or another, ph'sicall' abused them+ -n fact, of the N2&! billion cost of crime

each 'ear, about one@third is accounted for b' domestic 4iolence and child abuse+ -n 199&, for instance, nearl' 1 million cases of child abuse were confirmed b' child and protecti4e ser4ices+% And that doesnIt include the millions of incidents of an1r' outbursts, hateful words, and 4icious looks, as well as the countless unreported cases of ne1lect and abuse+ -f the character of a nation can be measured b' its treatment of the 'oun1, the infirm, and the elderl', then America would not be Eud1ed well+ ?eported cases of elder abuse rose 1! percent from 19$ to 1992, accordin1 to the National 0enter of ;lder Abuse+ (otal incidents ran1e from 1 to " million cases annuall', thou1h perhaps onl' 1 in 12 cases is actuall' reported to an' public a1enc'+$ Dhether the' are manifested in o4ert 4iolence and abuse or co4ert hostilit' and ne1lect, itIs clear that an1er, impatience, frustration, disrespect, and inci4ilit' ha4e become a part of the American personalit'+ Dhether it is road ra1e, airplane ra1e, 1rocer'@store ra1e, or ra1e at sportin1 e4ents, ra1e is suddenl' 6the ra1e+7 And too man' of us feel our an1er is Eustified+ -n a recent USA (oda' article, an elementar' school teacher probabl' spoke for man' people when she said, -f 'ou ha4e been sittin1 in traffic on freewa's that ha4e been clo11ed 'ear after 'ear, ra1e mi1ht seem rational+ (here are, what, more than " ! million of us nowM 8ur roads were not built to accommodate that+ (he 1rocer'@store parkin1 lots are filled+ -t is hard to 1et into the bank+ (he airport tells 'ou to come 9!

minutes before 'our fli1ht+ 5arkin1 is at a premium+ 84ercrowdin1 has become part of societ' at lar1e and that contributes to a sense that 6an'thin1 1oes+79 Does it? Do we have a right to be angry? Do We ( ,e Good Re son !o Be An$ry. Almost e4er' da' a new twist on an1er hits the newsstands+ A *lorida hi1h@school baseball coach breaks an umpireIs Eaw o4er a disputed call+ (wo shoppers eCchan1e blows o4er who deser4es the first spot in a checkout lane that Eust opened+ -n 0alifornia, an an1r' dri4er 'anks a pet do1 out of the 4ehicle that bumped his car and throws the animal into the oncomin1 traffic+ (he do1 dies, and the man is sentenced to three 'ears in Eail+ A ?eadin1, <assachusetts, 'outh hocke' coach is beaten unconscious b' an irate parent+ (he coach, <ichael 0ostin, dies two da's later+ (he parent pleads 6not 1uilt'7 to manslau1hter char1es+ A 1&@'ear@old bo' 1ets fed up with bein1 put down b' his classmates and opens fire on them in his suburban San >ie1o hi1h school+ (wo are dead, 1# wounded+ Are we Eustified in turnin1 our societ' into an instant repla' of (he :err' Sprin1er ShowM K-ronicall', one da' after we had written this, a warrant was issued for the arrest of ?alf 5anitJ for the murder of his eC@wife+ (he two of them had 4erball' assaulted each other on (he :err' Sprin1er Show earlier in the weekL+1! De

ma' shake our heads as the walls of propriet' come crashin1 down and public outbursts of an1er become the norm, but an1er is nothin1 new+ And neither is the feelin1 of bein1 Eustified in it+ Nearl' "$!! 'ears a1o, the reluctant prophet :onah sat in his self@made bleachers outside the cit' of Nine4eh, hopin1 for a performance of =odIs Eud1ment+ -f nothin1 else, :onah was prepared for a full@scale pit' part', and the onl' in4ited 1uests were 6me, m'self, and -+7 .e was upset because the people of Nine4eh had repented at his preachin1, and the prophet knew that =od Kunlike :onah himselfFL was 6slow to an1er and abundant in lo4in1kindness, and one who relents concernin1 calamit'7 K:onah 2/"L+ :onah wanted the cit' destro'ed, but =od seemed bent on sparin1 its residents if the' would repent+ So :onah was an1r'+ (he )ord asked :onah a question, one which we need to ask oursel4es/ 6>o 'ou ha4e 1ood reason to be an1r'M7 K:onah 2/2L+ :onah tried to i1nore the issue that =od was puttin1 .is fin1er on, so the )ord decided to 1i4e the prophet an obEect lesson+ .ereIs the rest of the stor'/ So the )8?> =od appointed a plant and it 1rew up o4er :onah to be a shade o4er his head to deli4er him from his discomfort+ And :onah was eCtremel' happ' about the plant+ But =od appointed a worm when dawn came the neCt da' and it attacked the plant and it withered+ Dhen the sun came up =od appointed a scorchin1 east wind, and the sun beat down on

:onahIs head so that he became faint and be11ed with all his soul to die, sa'in1, 6>eath is better to me than life+7 (hen =od said to :onah, 6>o 'ou ha4e 1ood reason to be an1r' about the plantM7 And he said, 6ha4e 1ood reason to be an1r', e4en to death+7 (hen the )8?> said, 6Gou had compassion on the plant for which 'ou did not work and which 'ou did not cause to 1row, which came up o4erni1ht and perished o4erni1ht+ Should - not ha4e compassion on Nine4eh, the 1reat cit' in which there are more than 1"!,!!! persons who do not know the difference between their ri1ht and left handM7 K:onah 2/ @11L+ As with most people toda', :onahIs moods were based on circumstances+ Dhen =od 6appointed7 the plant for shade, :onah was happ'+ Dhen =od 6appointed7 the worm and the scorchin1 wind, he was an1r' and miserable+ Dhen thin1s were 1oin1 his wa', :onahIs an1er was under control+ But it didnIt take much to set it off a1ain+ :onah was understandabl' an1r' with the Nine4ites because of their e4il deeds that warranted =odIs Eud1ment+ But he was unwillin1 to eCercise 1race and merc' toward them e4en when the' repented+ (he prophet was a11ra4ated with =od because .e chose to for1i4e them+ *inall', he was furious with =od because the )ord took awa' his personal beach umbrella and turned up the thermostat+ :onah was an an1r' man, and he was con4inced he had a ri1ht to be an1r', e4en if it killed him+

The Roo!s o/ An$er =od re4ealed that :onah cared more about his own comfort and the well@bein1 of a plant than he did about the souls of people+ )ike :onah, man' belie4ers toda' are stuck in their an1er and, subsequentl', are miserable+ 8ne mother wrote to us, Dhile 'ou are at it, 'ou mi1ht think about writin1 a book for an1r' teena1ers+ <' 1 @'ear@old dau1hterIs an1er has o4er the 'ears slowl' turned her mind awa' from 0hrist and toward the pop culture+ .er situation is an ironic one that eCists, - belie4e, in man' homes where 0hristian school, church, and famil' 4alues ha4e been predominant+ *or her, the situation posed a dilemma+ -f she chose 0hrist, she would ne4er 6fit in+7 -f she chose pop culture, she EeopardiJed her relationships at home and with this 6distant7 =od who 6doesnIt care an'wa' because .e doesnIt 1i4e me what - want+7 So she 1ot stuck in an1r' defiance+ At home, she acts out her an1er+ At school, sheIs decided to 1et rou1her and tou1her so that she wonIt be hurt+ )ookin1 back, - see that - was clueless about the roots of an1er and the consequences of wron1 thinkin1+ 8n the outside, it seemed like we were on top of the situation+ Get there were critical sta1es of an1er that we didnIt ha4e the tools to see or confront+ Now we are doin1 some maEor parent inter4ention in her life+ .opefull' it isnIt too late+ (here is no question that her an1er has nearl' destro'ed her relationship with her

father and me, caused her to form unhealth' social interactions with peers, and seriousl' dama1ed her relationship with =od+ (his is all a pressure cooker for us but, ironicall', to the unwar' e'e she seems like such a 61ood7 kid from a 61ood7 famil'+ 6=ood7 kids can ha4e deepl' rooted an1er that destro's+ (he apostle 5aul warned that in the last da's 6difficult,7 6terrible7 KN-,L, or 6perilous7 K9:,L times would come K" (imoth' #/1L+ An alternate translation in the New 9in1 :ames ,ersion sa's 6times of stress7 will come+ (he sorr' litan' of life li4ed with a root of self@ centered an1er reads like toda'Is headlines/ 5eople will be lo4ers of themsel4es, lo4ers of mone', boastful, proud, abusi4e, disobedient to parents, un1rateful, unhol', without lo4e, unfor1i4in1, slanderous, without self@control, brutal, not lo4ers of the 1ood, treacherous, rash, conceited, lo4ers of pleasure rather than lo4ers of =od K" (imoth' #/"@2 N-,L+ USA (oda' puts it this wa'/ 6)eadin1 social scientists sa' the nation is in the middle of an an1er epidemic that, in its mildest forms, is unsettlin1 and, at its worst, turns deadl'+ (he epidemic rattles both those who stud' social trends and parents who fear the countr' is at a cultural precipice+711 8ne parent eCpressed it well b' sa'in1, 6De ha4e lost some of the 1lue holdin1 our societ' Oto1etherP+ De ha4e lost our respect for others+ (he eCample we are settin1 for our kids is terrible+71" (his undercurrent of hostilit' and lack of respect in our

countr' was captured in an article b' Alan Sipress, writin1 for the Dashin1ton 5ost/ ?oad ra1e has come to this+ Amid the hectic li4es of man' Dashin1tonians, there is no lon1er time for death+ 8nce, motorists would pull aside and permit funeral corte1es to pass+ Now, dri4ers re1ularl' cut them off at intersections rather than allow them to continue throu1h red li1hts, and wea4e in and out of processions instead of pausin1, funeral directors and police sa'+ (he actions are often accompanied b' honkin1, cursin1 and 4ile 1estures+1# Apparentl' this s'mptomatic shift awa' from respect and common courtes' toward self@centered an1er has taken place in Eust the last fi4e to ten 'ears+ As one man put it, 6.ow 'ou treat 'our dead sa's somethin1 about how ci4iliJed 'ou are+ (he traditions of the past ha4e been lost, and clearl' the respect that should be eCtended to funeral processions is no lon1er there+712 Simple respect for the li4in1 is no lon1er there either+ >ri4ers who tail1ate, cut off, and e4en attack other dri4ers are not seein1 the others as nei1hbors to be lo4ed as oneself+ (he' ha4e become opponents, obstacles, and e4en enemies+ Althou1h a11ra4atin1 circumstances certainl' make an1er in America worse, the Bible makes it clear that the root problem lies within the human heart/

Dhen .e O:esusP had called all the multitude to .imself, .e said to them, 6.ear <e, e4er'one, and understand/ (here is nothin1 that enters a man from outside which can defile himH but the thin1s which come out of him, those are the thin1s that defile a man+Q*or from within, out of the heart of men, proceed e4il thou1hts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, co4etousness, wickednessQ7 K<ark %/12@1&,"1@"" N9:,L+ An$er Di,ides nd 0ills An1er is a heart disease that can kill+ -n our one@to@ one ministr' to people, almost without eCception each indi4idual is ha4in1 problems with unresol4ed an1er+ *rom our obser4ation, the problem of bitterness and unfor1i4eness could 4er' well be the most rampant, debilitatin1 problem in the bod' of 0hrist toda'+ (he an1er epidemic in America has 4iciousl' infected the church as well+ 8ur ad4ersar', the de4il, seeks to di4ide and conquer+ .e will tr' to di4ide a human heart, for a double@ minded man is unstable in all his wa's K:ames 1/$L+ .e will attack a marria1e, a famil', or a church because a 6house di4ided a1ainst itself will not stand7 K<atthew 1"/"&L+ ;4en people 1roups and nations are fair 1ame for SatanIs strate1ies, for 6an' kin1dom di4ided a1ainst itself is laid waste7 K)uke 11/1%L+ 5aulIs admonition to the ;phesian church stands in sharp contrast to the spirit of resentment, hostilit', and

ra1e so e4ident in human cultures+ .e writes this to them/ )a'in1 aside falsehood, speak truth each one of 'ou with his nei1hbor, for we are members of one another+ Be an1r', and 'et do not sinH do not let the sun 1o down on 'our an1er, and do not 1i4e the de4il an opportunit'+Q )et no unwholesome word proceed from 'our mouth, but onl' such a word as is 1ood for edification accordin1 to the need of the moment, so that it will 1i4e 1race to those who hear+ >o not 1rie4e the .ol' Spirit of =od, b' whom 'ou were sealed for the da' of redemption+ )et all bitterness and wrath and an1er and clamor and slander be put awa' from 'ou, alon1 with all malice+ Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, for1i4in1 each other, Eust as =od in 0hrist also has for1i4en 'ou K;phesians 2/"&@"%, "9@ #"L+ ;4er' e4enin1 the sun will set on the unresol4ed an1er of millions of people+ (his an1er poisons the soul and rots the culture+ (he de4il is deli1hted, and the .ol' Spirit of =od is 1rie4ed+ .ere is a t'pical personal stor' of a man stru11lin1 with habitual, unresol4ed an1er/ - ha4e stru11led with an1er all m' life, since - was a little bo'+ <' peers alwa's picked on me and m' dad constantl' criticiJed e4er'thin1 - did+ - ha4e come a lon1 wa'+ .owe4er it seems that there is still some stron1hold in m' mind o4er this area+ - 1et reall' upset if - am mistreated or disrespected b' people,

especiall' famil' members+ - donIt hold on to 1rud1es for as lon1 as - used to, but there still appears to be some block in the process of for1i4eness+ - react so quickl' with outbursts of an1er that - donIt e4en realiJe where the' come from or the reason behind them+ <' wife tells me if -Im mad to 61et happ',7 as if we ha4e direct control o4er our feelin1s like that+ - know that the problem is in m' mind, but the ne1ati4e thou1hts appear to be so buried that - donIt e4en know the' are there+ 5ra' that =od would re4eal the root causes of this bonda1e to me+ B' the 1race of =od, this book is our attempt to do Eust thatBto eCamine the phenomenon of an1er, to eCpose its roots, and to pro4ide a handle on how to allow :esus to liberate 'ou from itIs controllin1 influence+ An$er C n Be Resol,ed An1er will ne4er completel' disappear from our li4es this side of hea4en+ Nor should it+ (here is a time and a place for an1er under control+ An1er is our ser4ant when we li4e a liberated life in 0hrist+ But an1er is the master of a defeated life+ -f we desire to be an1r' and not sin, then we need to be like 0hrist and be an1r' at sin+ De need to 1et be'ond 6an1er mana1ement,7 which is merel' a means of keepin1 oneIs an1er from eruptin1 in beha4ior destructi4e to self or others+ (he 1oal is to resol4e the personal and spiritual issues behind the

an1er and disco4er the fruit of the Spirit, which is 6lo4e, Eo', peace, patience, kindness, 1oodness, faithfulness, 1entleness, self@control7 K=alatians &/""@ "#L+ (hose who are ali4e and free in 0hrist donIt mana1e destructi4e beha4ior, the' o4ercome it+ 6>o not be o4ercome b' e4il, but o4ercome e4il with 1ood,7 as 5aul wrote in ?omans 1"/"1+ Sure sounds 1ood, doesnIt itM <a'be to 'ou it sounds too 1ood to be true+ Gou ma' ha4e stru11led with an1er all 'our life, without much success in o4ercomin1 its master' o4er 'ou+ 8r 'ou ma' be li4in1 with a 6ra1e@aholic7 or an eCplosi4e child+ 5erhaps 'our bod' bears the scars of an1er out of control+ 8r at the 4er' least, 'our soul does+ De want to offer 'ou hope+ :eremiah #"/1% KN-,L declares, 6Ah, So4erei1n )8?>, 'ou ha4e made the hea4ens and the earth b' 'our 1reat power and outstretched arm+ Nothin1 is too hard for 'ou+7 -f =od can create and control such a 4ast uni4erse, is .e not also able to control 'our an1er and empower 'ou to deal with the an1er of those around 'ouM (here is no reason to feel 'ou are a hopeless case, an eCception to the rule+ 5aul writes, 6<a' the =od of hope fill 'ou with all Eo' and peace in belie4in1, so that 'ou will abound in hope b' the power of the .ol' Spirit7 K?omans 1&/1#L+

Wh ! Do +o# Tr#ly W n!. 8n the other hand, ma'be the opposite is true+ 5erhaps 'ou like 'our an1er+ -t 1ets 'ou what 'ou want when 'ou want it+ Gou learned to control people with an1r' tantrums as a child, and the technique is still workin1+ GouI4e Eust become more sophisticated+ -nstead of stompin1 'our feet, 'ou raise 'our 4oice Ka lotFL and le4el 'our 1aJe and make threats+ 5eople are afraid of 'ou, and 'ou like that sur1e of power and control+ 8r perhaps 'ou think that an1er is a means of protectin1 'ourself a1ainst further abuse+ (rue, an1er ma' temporaril' 1et 'ou what 'ou want+ But fleshl' an1er will ne4er 1et 'ou what 'ou reall' need or desire, because 6the an1er of man does not achie4e the ri1hteousness of =od,7 as :ames tells us K1/"!L+ Some of the most insecure people on earth are an1r' controllers and abusers+ Usin1 an1er and seC as blud1eons to oppress and manipulate others re4eals a sickness of the soul that onl' 0hrist can o4ercome+ So, whether 'ou were 1i4en this book Kwhich ma' ha4e made 'ou an1r' alread'FL or 'ou picked it up on 'our own, we ha4e 1ood news for 'ou+ :esus 0hrist came to set 'ou free from the control of an1er+ .e came that 'ou mi1ht ha4e life and ha4e it more abundantl' K:ohn 1!/1!L+ .e has promised us a peace, but itIs not like the peace the world 1i4esB based on peaceful circumstances K:ohn 12/"%L+ -t is a peace of mind and heart runnin1 so deep and stron1

that it 1oes be'ond human understandin1 K5hilippians 2/ @%L+ Ne1ati4e circumstances that would dri4e a natural person up a wall can be o4ercome b' the indwellin1 5rince of 5eace+ Such a powerful peace can rei1n in our li4es that the apostle 5aul describes it as 6the =od of peace7 bein1 with us K5hilippians 2/9L+ (he presence of =od fills our li4es with lo4e, patience, and kindness when before there was onl' hostilit', resentment, and ra1e+ De trust that, deep down, this is what 'ou trul' want in life+ Le! +o#rsel/ Be Molded 1y God -n the pa1es that follow, weIll first take a look at an1er in 1eneral and how our bod', soul, and spirit work to1ether+ DeIll then eCamine the battle for our minds and find out how we can keep from bein1 controlled b' our emotions throu1h choosin1 to belie4e and focus on the truth+ DeIll see how we ha4e de4eloped mental stron1holds and eCamine 4arious flesh patterns of an1er+ (hen weIll look at the 1race of =od, which offers us for1i4eness and new life in 0hrist+ (he Eourne' to freedom from our past be1ins as we learn how to for1i4e from our hearts+ NeCt weIll learn how to let the 1entle and humble :esus li4e in and throu1h us in the power of the .ol' Spirit+ -t is not enou1h Eust to know what to doBwe must ha4e the power to do it+ (hat spiritual ener1' onl' comes from the Spirit of =od+ And in the final

chapters weIll summariJe what weI4e learned, b' sharin1 how to o4ercome stron1holds of an1er+ -s it trul' possible to be free from controllin1 an1erM (he answer to that question is a resoundin1 6GesF7 Dill it be a painless processM 5robabl' not+ -s it worth itM Absolutel', thou1h 'ou are 1oin1 to ha4e to come to that conclusion 'ourself+ 8ne da' =od told the prophet :eremiah to 1o down to the house of the potter+ (here .e promised to speak to him+ So :eremiah did as he was told and saw the potter moldin1 somethin1 on the wheel+ 6But the 4essel that he was makin1 of cla' was spoiled in the hand of the potterH so he remade it into another 4essel, as it pleased the potter to make7 K:eremiah 1$/2L+ Dhat was the moral of the stor'M Dh' had =od wanted :eremiah to see this man skillfull' at work at his craftM 6(hen the word of the )8?> came to me sa'in1, R0an - not, 8 house of -srael, deal with 'ou as this potter doesMI declares the )8?>+ RBehold, like the cla' in the potterIs hand, so are 'ou in <' handI 7 K:eremiah 1$/&@ L+ (his passa1e is echoed in 5aulIs second letter to (imoth', where he writes, Now in a lar1e house there are not onl' 1old and sil4er 4essels, but also 4essels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor+ (herefore, if

a man cleanses himself from these thin1s, he will be a 4essel for honor, sanctified, useful to the <aster, prepared for e4er' 1ood work K" (imoth' "/"!@"1L+ (here is no 1reater honor, no 1reater pri4ile1e, and no 1reater Eo' than to allow the <aster to mold us as .e pleases+ (o be set apart, useful to the <aster, is what we were made for+ But first, a man must cleanse himself of all that dishonors, includin1 the an1er that simmers or boils in the heart+ Dill 'ou Eoin us as we pra' about thisM >ear hea4enl' *ather, Gou are a hol' =od, and Gou call me to be hol', set apart for Gour use+ )ike Gou, ha4e the capacit' for an1er+ But unlike Gou, - also ha4e the capacit' for usin1 that an1er wron1l'+ Gou ha4e called me to freedom, but ha4e told me not to use m' freedom as an opportunit' for the flesh+ ?ather - am to ser4e others in lo4e+ 5lease open m' e'es to understand the source of m' an1er and the bitterness of m' soul+ *ree me from m' past, that it ma' no lon1er ha4e an' hold o4er me+ *ill me with 'our .ol' Spirit, that - ma' li4e a ri1hteous life of patience, 1entleness, and self@control+ - thank Gou that Gou are indeed 1racious and merciful, slow to an1er, and aboundin1 in lo4in1kindness and truth+ -n the name of the 1entle and humble :esus - pra', amen+ (hrou1hout the book we use the term 6flesh pattern7 to mean an' habit we ha4e de4eloped to tr' to cope with

life and 1et our needs met while rel'in1 on our own human resources rather than on 0hrist+ -n essence, a flesh pattern is self@sufficienc'+

&ART ONE (o) An$er Wor*s in +o# C(A&TER 2 An$er3A M !!er o/ Li/e nd De !h

An1er/ an acid that can do more harm to the 4essel in which it is stored than to an'thin1 on which it is poured+ :im was tr'in1 to wrap up another bus' da' at the office+ .is son was ha4in1 a )ittle )ea1ue 1ame at &/#!, and heId promised him he would be there since demands at work had pre4ented him from bein1 at the last three 1ames+ :im was a hi1hl' moti4ated insurance salesman who had won the salesperson@of@ the@'ear award for three strai1ht 'ears+ .is desire to climb the corporate ladder was often in conflict with his 0hristian con4ictions about bein1 a 1ood husband and father, but it wasnIt hard to rationaliJe his work ethic+ Achie4ement awards, hi1her salaries, and 1reater commissions had made it possible for his famil' to ha4e a hi1her standard of li4in1 and afford better 4acations+ )ate@afternoon calls were irritatin1 him as he rushed to 1et out the door+ Dh' do people alwa's call at the last minuteM he wondered+ .e 1lanced at his watch as he

mer1ed into the rush@hour traffic+ :ust enou1h time to make it if the freewa's would cooperate+ As he tried to work his wa' into the fast lane, he was abruptl' cut off b' another car+ 6Stupid EerkF Dhere are the cops when 'ou need themM7 (he traffic slowed to a crawl, and :im found himself stuck behind a lar1e truck that blocked his 4iew and made his lane slower than those on either side+ As he ti1htened his 1rip on the steerin1 wheel he an1ril' said out loud, 6(rucks shouldnIt be allowed to dri4e an'where other than the ri1ht laneF7 The Body-s Res%onse !o An$er Dhat was 1oin1 on inside :imIs bod' in response to all these frustratin1 circumstancesM (he thou1hts and feelin1s runnin1 wild in :imIs left cerebral corteC had alread' sent a si1nal deeper in the brain to ner4e cells in the h'pothalamus+ (he acti4ated emer1enc' s'stem of the h'pothalamus had stimulated s'mpathetic ner4es to constrict the arteries carr'in1 blood to :imIs skin, kidne's, and intestines+ At the same time, the brain had sent a si1nal to the adrenal 1lands to pump lar1e doses of adrenaline and cortisol into his bloodstream+ As he sat behind the truck, :imIs muscles ti1htened, his heart beat faster, and his blood pressure rose+ -n such a state his blood would ha4e clotted more rapidl' in case of inEur'+ <uscles at the outlet of his stomach were squeeJin1 down so ti1htl' that nothin1 could lea4e his di1esti4e tract+ (his caused spasms, which resulted in abdominal pains+ (he blood was directed awa' from his skin, makin1 it feel cool and clamm' and toward the muscles to

facilitate a 6fi1ht or fli1ht7 response+ As the an1r' thou1hts continued, :imIs increased heart rate had alread' pumped far more blood than was needed Eust to sit in the car+ .is bod' was prepared to sprin1 into action, but there was nowhere to 1o+ .e was tempted to let off some steam b' rollin1 down the window and tellin1 somebod' what he thou1ht of them, or b' leanin1 on the horn, but he knew that wouldnIt do an' 1ood+ (he adrenaline that had been released stimulated :imIs fat cells to empt' their content into his bloodstream+ (his would pro4ide additional ener1' in the e4ent the situation required immediate action+ But instead :im Eust sat there, fumin1 at the traffic while his li4er con4erted the fat into cholesterol+ .e had no one to fi1ht and nowhere to take fli1ht to+ .e felt trapped+ 84er time the cholesterol formed from the unused fat in his bloodstream will accumulate, formin1 into a plaque in his arteries that be1ins to block the flow of blood+ -f :imIs stru11le with an1er continues, one da' the flow of blood could be entirel' cut off to a portion of his heart+ (hen :im would become a statisticBone of the &!!,!!! Americans each 'ear who suffer from a heart attack+ 8ne such person was the famous ps'cholo1ist, :ohn .unter, who 6knew what an1er could do to his heart/ R(he first scoundrel that 1ets me an1r' will kill me+I Some time later, at a medical meetin1, a speaker made assertions that incensed .unter+ As he stood up and bitterl' attacked the speaker, his an1er caused such a contraction of blood

4essels in his heart that he fell dead+71 An1er kills in other wa's, too+ (ra1icall', all too often an1er 1ets the best of people and brin1s out the worst in them, especiall' when Eealous' enters the miC+ 5ro4erbs "%/2 sa's, 6Drath is fierce and an1er is a flood, but who can stand before Eealous'M7 Dhether the weapon of choice is a car or an airplane, an eCplosi4e or a firearm, a 1erm or a chemical, the threat of 4iolence has our nation on ed1e+ And such fear often manifests itself in fur'+ -n fact, an undercurrent of hostilit' is becomin1 more e4ident in America and around the world+ (oo man' people are at the boilin1 point, and who knows when the sli1htest pro4ocation will set them off into a deadl' ra1eM 8r who knows when the calculated hostilit' of terrorists will erupt into mass destruction either here or abroadM ;ither wa', an1er can kill+ The Role Th ! &erson li!y &l ys -n m' first pastorate, - was 1i4en a book b' one of the more successful members of our church+ .e said, 6Gou ou1ht to read this book, because - think 'ou ma' need it+7 (he book was ('pe A Beha4ior and Gour .eart b' <e'er *riedman and ?a' ?osenman+ (his hi1hl' moti4ated -B< en1ineer went on to eCplain that he had a t'pe A personalit' and he suspected that did too+ After readin1 the book, - did see some aspects of m' personalit' that were t'pe A+ K- also 1a4e a messa1e a few weeks later entitled 6:esus Das ('pe

B+7L *riedman and ?osenman were cardiolo1ists who be1an to notice that certain personalit' t'pes were more prone to ha4e heart problems+ (hose who burnt the candle at both ends, climbed the stairs two steps at a time, took little time off, and were dri4en to accomplish their 1oals were classified as t'pe A+ (he' are the task@oriented hi1h achie4ers of this world, and the' are dri4en to accomplish their 1oals+ ('pe B indi4iduals are more laid@back, less dri4en, and probabl' more relational+" (hese obser4ations ha4e made a profound effect on our societ'+ Not onl' ha4e these classifications of t'pe A and t'pe B personalities become 4er' wellknown, but the authors started a flood of research into ps'chosomatic illnesses+ Before the publication of their work, stress was not considered to be a maEor contributor to heart disease, cancer, and other maEor illnesses+ (oda', stress is considered to be a maEor cause of life@threatenin1 illnesses+ ?edford and ,ir1inia Dilliams, in their book An1er 9ills, adapted the work of *riedman and ?osenman to the problem of an1er+ -n their research, the' show how those with a hostile personalit' are more prone to coronar' heart disease+ *or man' 'ears, researchers, therapists, and schools of hi1her education ha4e used the <<5- K<innesota <ultiphasic 5ersonalit' -n4entor'L to assess clients and students+ Since man' of these test results ha4e been kept, the' could be

compared man' 'ears later with the ph'sical health of those who took the test+ (he Dilliamses, alon1 with other collea1ues, isolated certain responses from the <<5- that reflected in the answerer a c'nical distrust of others, the frequent eCperience of an1r' feelin1s, and the o4ert eCpression of c'nicism in a11ressi4e beha4ior+ (he' summariJe their findin1s as followsB 1+ .ostile peopleBthose with hi1h le4els of c'nicism, an1er, and a11ressionBare at a hi1her risk of de4elopin1 life@threatenin1 illnesses than are their less hostile counterparts+ "+ B' dri4in1 others awa', or b' not percei4in1 the support the' could be deri4in1 from their social contacts, hostile people ma' be depri4in1 themsel4es of the health@enhancin1, stress@bufferin1 benefits of social support+ #+ A quicker acti4ation of their fli1ht@or@fi1ht response, in combination with a relati4el' weak calmin1 response from the paras'mpathetic ner4ous s'stem, is a biolo1ic mechanism that probabl' contributes to the health problems that afflict hostile people+ 2+ .ostile people also are more prone to en1a1e in a number of risk' beha4iorsBeatin1 more, drinkin1 more alcohol, smokin1Bthat could dama1e their health+#

The Body4 !he Mind4 nd An$er 5eople do die from ps'chosomatic illnesses, which indicates that more is 1oin1 on in our bod' than Eust a response to life on the ph'sical plane+ De must also reckon with the nonph'sicalBour soul+ (o understand how the bod' and the soul interact, letIs consider how =od created us in .is ima1e+ See the followin1 dia1ram/ -n the ori1inal creation, =od formed Adam and ;4e from the dust of the earth and breathed into them the breath of life+ (his union of di4ine breath and earthl' dust is what constituted the ph'sical and spiritual life that Adam and ;4e both possessed+ ;4er' human bein1 is composed of both an inner person and an outer person+ -n other words, we are both material and immaterial+ 8ur outer person, or material part, is our ph'sical bod'+ (hrou1h our bod'Is fi4e senses we relate to the world around us+ (he inner person, or immaterial part, consists of our soul and spirit+ Bein1 created in the ima1e of =od, we ha4e the capacit' to think, feel, and choose KsoulL and commune with =od KspiritL+ Because we are fearfull' and wonderfull' made, it onl' makes sense that =od would ha4e created the outer person to work to1ether with the inner personBfor eCample, the brain and mind+ (heir correlation is ob4ious, but the' are fundamentall' different+ 8ur brains are like or1anic computers, and the' will return to dust when we ph'sicall' die+ At that time, if we are

born@a1ain belie4ers, we will be present with the )ordH but we will not be there mindless because the mind is part of the soul, the inner person+ Usin1 the computer analo1', if the brain is the hardware, then the mind is the software+ -n our earthl' life, neither the software nor the hardware is an' 1ood without the other+ And as we eCplain later, the brain cannot function an' wa' other than how it has been pro1rammed+ (he brain is the center of the central ner4ous s'stem, which also includes the spinal cord+ Branchin1 off from the central ner4ous s'stem is a peripheral ner4ous s'stem that has two distinct channels+ 8ne channel is the somatic ner4ous s'stem+ (hat s'stem is what re1ulates all our muscular and skeletal mo4ements+ -t is that which we ha4e 4olitional control o4er+ -n other words, pro4ided we ha4e adequate ph'sical health, we can mentall' choose to mo4e our limbs, to smile and to speak+ 8b4iousl', the somatic ner4ous s'stem takes orders from our will+ De donIt do an'thin1 without first thinkin1 it+ (he thou1htAaction response ma' be so rapid that we are hardl' aware of the sequence, but it is alwa's there+ K(hou1h in4oluntar' muscular mo4ements do occur when the s'stem breaks down, as is the case with 5arkinsonIs disease+L (he other channel is the autonomic ner4ous s'stem, which re1ulates all our 1lands and ob4iousl' works to1ether with our emotions+ De donIt ha4e direct 4olitional control of the functionin1 of our 1lands+ -n the

same wa', we donIt ha4e direct 4olitional control of our emotions, includin1 the feelin1s of an1er+ De cannot will oursel4es to like people we ha4e an emotional hatred for+ De can choose to do the lo4in1 thin1 for them e4en thou1h we donIt like themH but we cannot simpl' tell oursel4es to stop bein1 an1r', because we cannot directl' mana1e our emotions that wa'+ Dhen we acknowled1e that we are an1r', howe4er, we do ha4e control o4er how we are 1oin1 to eCpress it+ De can keep our beha4ior within limits, because that is somethin1 we ha4e 4olitional control o4er+ And we do ha4e control of what we will think and belie4e, and that is what controls what we do and how we feel+ Con!rollin$ Wh ! We Thin* De can do a similar thin1 when we talk to an1r' people+ (ellin1 them that the' shouldnIt be an1r' will onl' produce 1uilt or defensi4eness KrationaliJationL in them or brin1 retaliation from them+ But we can encoura1e them to mana1e their beha4ior+ *or instance, we can sa', 6- know 'ou are an1r' ri1ht now, but 'ou donIt ha4e to take it out on others or 'ourself+ Dh' donIt 'ou walk awa' and come back when 'ou ha4e cooled down, and we can discuss it laterM7 .owe4er, 'ou will ha4e as much success tellin1 them to stop bein1 an1r' as the' will ha4e if the' tr' to keep their autonomic ner4ous s'stem from functionin1+ -t is important to realiJe that what is causin1 the autonomic ner4ous s'stem to respond this wa' is not the brainH nor is it the brain that is causin1 us to feel

an1r'+ -t is the mind and the wa' it has been pro1rammed+ Neither do the circumstances of life or other people make us an1r'+ -t is our perception of those people and e4ents and how we interpret them that determine whether we will lose our temper or not+ And that is a function of our mind and how its been pro1rammed+ )etIs appl' that reasonin1 to the problem of stress+ Dhen the pressures of life be1in to mount, our bodies tr' to adapt+ 8ur adrenal 1lands eCcrete hormones into our bloodstream, enablin1 us to rise to the challen1e+ But if the pressure persists too lon1, then stress becomes distress, and our s'stem breaks down and we become sick+ But wh' do some people respond positi4el' to stress while others 1et sickM -s it because some people ha4e better adrenal 1lands than othersM -tIs true that some are ph'sicall' able to handle more than others, but that is not the primar' difference+ (he primar' difference is found in the mind, not the bod'+ Belie/s nd An$er Suppose two partners in a business are confronted with a setback+ (he' ha4e Eust lost a contract the' thou1ht would brin1 them to a new le4el of prosperit'+ 8ne partner, a nonbelie4er, sees this as a financial crisis+ .e had belie4ed that this new contract would make him successful+ <an' of his personal 1oals were 1oin1 to be realiJed, but now his dreams are dashed+ .e responds in an1er to all who tr' to console him and

calls his law'er to see if he can sue the compan' who broke the contract+ (he other partner is a 0hristian who deepl' belie4es that real success lies in becomin1 the person =od created him to be+ .e belie4es that =od will suppl' all his needs+ (herefore, this loss has 4er' little impact on him+ .e eCperiences some disappointment, but he doesnIt 1et an1r' because he sees this temporar' re4ersal as an opportunit' to trust in =od+ 8ne of these two partners is stressed out and an1r', while the other partner is eCperiencin1 4er' little stress and an1er+ 0an faith in =od ha4e that kind of an effect on usM 0learl' so, because in our eCample the difference is in the two partnersI belief s'stems, not in their ph'sical capacit'+ *rom the wisdom literature we read, 6As he thinks within himself, so he is7 K5ro4erbs "#/%L+ .ow we beha4e flows from the reser4oir of what we belie4e+ Wh ! Are +o# Thin*in$. An1er doesnIt happen in a 4acuum+ An1er, like all of our emotions, is primaril' a product of our thou1ht life+ Suppose 'ou are bus' shoppin1 one da', when another person suddenl' knocks 'ou down and falls on top of 'ou+ Gou ha4e no idea wh' the person has done that+ -f 'our initial thou1ht is that the person is careless or rude, 'ou will likel' 1et an1r'+ Gour ner4ous s'stem will respond immediatel', enablin1 'our bod' to react in a fli1ht@or@fi1ht response+ -f 'our eCternal senses are tellin1 'ou that the person is a

thief who is armed, 'our adrenaline rush will help equip 'ou to flee or protect 'ourself+ -f 'our eCternal senses pick up that it was Eust some kids pla'in1 without super4ision, 'ou will be inclined to push them off 'ou, dust 'ourself off, and reprimand them for their carelessness+ Dhate4er the case, 'our an1er is a natural response to how 'our mind interprets the data that is bein1 picked up b' 'our fi4e senses+ Suppose 'our initial thou1ht is directed toward the other person and not 'ourself+ Gou ma' be wonderin1 what has happened to this person who has fallen and is now l'in1 on top of 'ou+ Gou ma' initiall' be an1r', or at least startled, until 'our eCternal senses 1i4e 'ou some important new data+ Now 'ou realiJe this person is in trouble, and 'our an1er quickl' turns to s'mpath', and that causes 'ou to cr' out for help+ (hen upon further eCamination, 'ou realiJe that the person is simpl' drunk and has passed out+ Now 'ou are an1r', and 'ou push the person off with a stren1th 'ou ne4er knew 'ou had+ So how 'ou feel is dependent upon the data 'ou recei4e and how 'our mind interprets that data+ Feelin$s Follo) Belie/s (his brin1s up another important concept+ -f what we belie4e does not conform to truth, then what we feel does not conform to realit'+ Suppose a man an1ril' bursts throu1h the door of his bossIs office and sa's, 6demand to know wh' 'ou did itF7 .is startled boss cannot understand wh' the man is an1r'+ Unknown to

the boss, a rumor had been circulatin1 that some recent promotions mi1ht ha4e to be rescinded, and the man assumed his was one of them+ As it turned out, the rumors were totall' false, but the emplo'ee was an1r' because he belie4ed them to be true+ 8nce the boss 1ot him simmered down, he was able to con4ince the dis1runtled emplo'ee that no such thin1 had happened+ Now the man is no lon1er an1r' with his boss, but chances are he ma' be a little an1r' with himselfBand with the people who circulated the rumor+ -t is not the e4ents themsel4es that tri11er our ph'siolo1ical responses+ Nor is it our adrenal 1lands themsel4es that initiate the release of adrenaline+ ?ather, eCternal e4ents are picked up b' our fi4e senses and sent as a si1nal to our brains+ (he mind then interprets the data and choices are madeBand that is what determines the si1nal that is sent from the brain and central ner4ous s'stem to the peripheral ner4ous s'stem+ (he brain cannot function an' other wa' than in the wa' it has been pro1rammed b' the mind+ (hat is wh' we are transformed b' the renewin1 of our minds K?omans 1"/"L+ &ro$r ""in$ /or Rene) l .ow our minds ha4e been pro1rammed is re4ealed b' our belief s'stem, which reflects our 4alues and attitudes about life+ )etIs take another look at :im, the successful salesman+ .e held certain beliefs about himself, about life, and about what he 4alued+

0hances are his sense of worth was lar1el' tied into his career/ .e belie4ed he would be a successful person if he did well on the Eob and a failure if he didnIt+ .e also had beliefs about himself/ .e was a salesman and a 1ood one+ But he was also a father and he held certain 0hristian 4alues about bein1 a 1ood parent+ (hat afternoon he didnIt want to 1o back on his word and miss his sonIs 1ame, but neither did he want to miss a couple of late@afternoon calls that could affect his sales+ Das he a salesman first, or a father firstM :im made choices that afternoon that had a profound effect on how he felt+ .e could ha4e written the time of his sonIs 1ame on his calendar and made it Eust as important as an' business appointment+ (hen he could ha4e left earlier and a4oided all the traffic+ .is secretar' could simpl' ha4e told his callers that he had an important meetin1 that he could not miss, but that he would do his best to 1et back to them tomorrow+ -t wasnIt reall' the stalled traffic that made him an1r'H the an1er was :imIs own emotional response to the cumulati4e effect of the wron1 choices he had made that da'+ Dhen - attended m' first doctoral class 'ears a1o, was the onl' professin1 0hristian enrolled+ (he instructor was an eCnun who liked to displa' her liberation from the church+ - think she was especiall' deli1hted to ha4e a 6re4erend7 in her class whom she could occasionall' put on the spot+ - saw this as a challen1e to m' faith that - was deli1hted to accept+

Near the end of the semester, we were asked to share with the class the topic of our term papers+ - said - was doin1 a paper on mana1in1 our an1er+ Another doctoral student protested, 6Gou canIt do a paper on mana1in1 'our an1er+7 - asked her, 6Dh' notM7 6Because 'ou donIt 1et an1r'+7 Apparentl', she would ha4e responded in an1er to some of the tar1etin1 that - was 1ettin1 in the class+ She couldnIt belie4e that would choose to do a paper on an1er, and she reminded me of this se4eral times+ - assured her that do at times 1et an1r'+ 8ur differences became clearer as the semester came to an end+ She and her brother, who also attended the class, were members of a cult+ And the differences between our belief s'stems became more and more e4ident as the' were tested under fire+ Dhat we belie4e does affect how we respond to the circumstances of life+ -f our identit' and securit' are centered in our eternal relationship with =od, then the thin1s of life that are temporal ha4e less of an impact on us+ As we are conformed to the ima1e of =od, we will become a little less t'pe A and a little more like :esus+ -f this is 'our desire, we in4ite 'ou to Eoin us in pra'er about it+

>ear hea4enl' *ather, thank Gou that - am indeed fearfull' and wonderfull' made b' Gou+ -t is amaJin1 how Gou ha4e caused m' spirit, soul, and bod' to be so intertwined and interconnected+ But that truth brin1s a soberin1 warnin1 to me as well+ - can see how m' perceptions or misperceptions of realit' ha4e ne1ati4el' affected m' emotions+ And how when - lose m' temper it hurts me ph'sicall' e4en as it hurts others emotionall'+ 8nl' Gou, )ord :esus, 1i4in1 me Gour life throu1h m' spirit, can conquer this stru11le that - ha4e+ But - want Gou to win so that - mi1ht become more like Gou+ - pra' for this now in Gour name, :esus, amen+

C(A&TER 5 Go ls nd Desires Be not an1r' that 'ou cannot make others as 'ou wish them to be, since 'ou cannot make 'ourself as 'ou wish to be+ B(.8<AS S 9;<5-S

-t was a peaceful e4enin1 and time for dinner at the <iller household+ As usual, m' wife, Shirle', had put to1ether a feast+ - was read' to relaC, enEo' the meal, and perhaps impart some profound thou1hts to m' famil'+ But suddenl' the tired, an1r' shrieks of m' then one@'ear@old son Brian shattered the id'llic home atmosphere+ Upset at his lous' timin1, - marched o4er to where Brian was sittin1, rou1hl' picked him up, and shouted 6NoF7 ri1ht in his face+ Now m' son was not onl' upset but also fri1htened, and so he cried e4en louder+ And 1ot e4en an1rier+ *umin1, - put him back down and stalked off to the dinner table to be1in eatin1+ After a moment - noticed that Shirle' was not eatin1+ (here was no wa' she could eat with Brian feelin1 so badF She walked o4er to the li4in1 room where he was sittin1, 1entl' calmed him down, and brou1ht him into the kitchen for dinner+

(he meal was finished without further incident+ An hour or so later, - was 4e11in1 out in front of the (,, and our dau1hter <ichelle Kthen three 'ears oldL strolled into the den+ - barel' noticed her out of the corner of m' e'e, bein1 so absorbed in the show+ 6>add', 'ou shouldnIt 1et mad at Brian like that,7 she stated firml'+ Basicall' i1norin1 her, - muttered somethin1 like, 6Geah ri1ht, hone'+ 8ka'+7 Now those who ha4e dau1hters know that there is no created bein1 on earth who can be as simultaneousl' sweet and boss' as a three@'ear@old little 1irlF <ichelle was not about to 1i4e up+ 6>add'F Gou shouldnIt 1et mad at Brian like thatF7 .er tone of 4oice was more insistent, and it 1ot m' attentionBand so did the Spirit of =od+ 0on4icted of m' sinful an1er, - said to <ichelle, 6GouIre ri1ht, hone'+ >add' was wron1+ - shouldnIt 1et mad at Brian like that+ -Ill tr' not to do it a1ain, oka'M7 Satisfied that sheId made her point, she nodded her appro4al, said 68ka'F7 and strutted triumphantl' out of the room+ Loo*in$ ! My An$er But the )ord was Eust be1innin1 .is work on me+ 5rompted b' m' own sorrow for bein1 nast' to Brian, -

pra'ed, 6)ord, wh' did - 1et so an1r' with BrianM7 All wanted was a nice quiet dinner with all m' children beha4in1 properl', as the' should+ But Brian didnIt cooperate, and - 1ot mad when the e4ents of the e4enin1 werenIt 1oin1 m' wa'+ (he )ord reminded me that the fruit of the Spirit is self@control, not spouse or child control+ B' an1ril' tr'in1 to control others so could fulfill m' own purpose or satisf' m' own desire for comfort, - was not actin1 in lo4e+ (hat wasnIt all the )ord wanted to speak to me about+ So - pra'erfull' wondered, Dh' did - 1et e4en an1rier when - told Brian 6NoF7 resultin1 in him cr'in1 e4en louderM (he )ord then con4icted me of the false belief that - could persuade an'bod' of m' point of 4iew and 1et them to do what - thou1ht was ri1ht+ (hat is not onl' arro1ant but futile as well, especiall' with an irrational, screamin1 one@'ear@oldF .umbled, - confessed m' sin and renounced K4erball' reEectedL the false beliefs and consequent an1er+ - had belie4ed that m' success as a father and sense of worth as a person were dependent upon other people Bpeople whom - had no ri1ht or abilit' to control+ Accordin1 to :esus, the Eo' of li4in1 does not come from 1ettin1 our wa', but from doin1 the will of our hea4enl' *ather/ 6-f 'ou keep m' commandments, 'ou will abide in <' lo4eH Eust as - ha4e kept m' *atherIs commandments and abide in .is lo4e+ (hese thin1s ha4e spoken to 'ou so that <' Eo' ma' be in 'ou, and that 'our Eo' ma' be made full7 K:ohn 1&/1!@11L+

De/inin$ An$er De can all look back at times when we responded poorl' to lifeIs situations and succumbed to an1er+ De ha4e seen that our personalities and temperaments ha4e somethin1 to do with how we respond+ Some people are more relational and naturall' laid@back+ 8thers are more task@oriented and dri4en+ <ost of us are somewhere in between+ Accordin1 to >r+ :+?+ A4erill, 9! percent of people stuff their an1er inside while respondin1 outwardl' in a passi4e, submissi4e manner+1 (his 6silent maEorit'7 actuall' harbors the most an1er but does little about it+" But the eCpression of an1er is not Eust related to our temperaments, it is also related to what we belie4e ri1ht now as we react to others and the situations of life+ Accordin1 to the Baker ;nc'clopedia of 5s'cholo1', an1er is/ an intense emotional reaction, sometimes directl' eCpressed in o4ert beha4ior and sometimes remainin1 a lar1el' uneCpressed feelin1Q+Bein1 an1r' is an emotional readiness to a11ress+# DebsterIs New Dorld >ictionar' 1i4es this definition of an1er/ A feelin1 that ma' result from inEur', mistreatment, opposition, etc+H it usuall' shows itself in a desire to hit out at somethin1 or someone elseH wrathH indi1nationH ra1eH ire+

(he two =reek New (estament words most often translated as 6an1er7 and 6wrath7 are or1e and thumos respecti4el'+ ,ineIs ;Cpositor' >ictionar' 1i4es an eCplanation of the difference between the two words/ (humos, wrath Knot translated 6an1er7L, is to be distin1uished from or1e in this respect, that thumos indicates a more a1itated condition of the feelin1s, an outburst of wrath from inward indi1nation, while or1e su11ests a more settled or abidin1 condition of mind, frequentl' with a 4iew to takin1 re4en1e+ 8r1e is less sudden in its rise than thumos but more lastin1 in its nature+Q(humos ma' issue in re4en1e, thou1h it does not necessaril' include it+ -t is characteristic that it quickl' blaJes up and quickl' subsides, thou1h that is not necessaril' implied in each case+2 -n the New (estament, the =reek word thumos is used 1$ times, se4en times in the book of ?e4elation in reference to =odIs wrath+ ;4er' other time thumos is used in the New (estament, it indicates a sinful human beha4ior+& -n fact, thumosBtranslated 6outbursts of an1er,7 6outbursts of wrath7 KN9:,L, 6fits of ra1e7 KN-,L Bis one of the deeds of the flesh listed in =alatians &/"!+ De are warned b' the apostle 5aul in ;phesians 2/#1 to 61et rid of allQra1e OthumosP and an1er Oor1eP7 KN-,L+ Althou1h an1er is a natural human emotion, it is clear that we as belie4ers in 0hrist ha4e no business harborin1 fleshl' an1er in our hearts+ 8therwise, wh' would 5aul be so adamant about our need to 1et rid of

all of itM Wh ! M *es Us An$ry. Dh' do people 1et an1r' an'wa'M Some 1et an1r' because the' see the inEustices of life+ Such ri1hteous indi1nation is Eustified, and is similar to the wrath of =od, which is spoken of more times in Scripture than is the an1er of mankind+ =odl' an1er becomes a powerful moti4ator to correct social inEustices+ 8thers 1et an1r' because life is not 1oin1 their wa' and the' are not 1ettin1 what the' want+ (his re4eals flesh patterns, defense mechanisms, or mental and spiritual stron1holds that are the result of li4in1 independentl' of =od in a fallen world+ KDeIll discuss these thin1s in more detail in chapters 2 and &+L (his kind of an1er has become a settled part of such peopleIs character and will surface at the sli1htest pro4ocation+ (hat is especiall' true of those who are cau1ht in the bonda1e of bitterness+ *or these people, an1er is the manifestation of deeper issues that ha4e ne4er been resol4ed in 0hrist+ (hese include reEection, 1uilt, shame, fear, embarrassment, confusion, frustration, humiliation, failure, and feelin1 trapped, used, controlled, betra'ed, or misunderstood+ 5h'sical conditions such as acute or chronic pain, weariness, and sickness lea4e us emotionall' depleted and less able to control our an1er+ <an' times indi4iduals who are sufferin1 will tr' to medicate themsel4es+ (he use and misuse of alcohol, prescription dru1s, and street dru1s to tr' to numb the

pain of life is rampant+ But all too often their use opens a 5andoraIs boC of 4olatile emotions and 4iolent an1er+ -t is characteristic of the human soul to tr' and rid itself of pain+ -f - am an1r' because - feel trapped or controlled in a relationship, - am 1oin1 to eCpress that an1erBsomewhere, somehow+ -t ma' be toward the controller, an innocent b'stander, or m'self+ -f - am stru11lin1 with an1er o4er 1uilt in m' own life and am not willin1 to take it to the cross, then - am a prime candidate for an1ril' blamin1 others+ Unresol4ed an1er will find a 4ictim+ 6An an1r' man stirs up strife, and a hot@tempered man abounds in trans1ression7 K5ro4erbs "9/""L+ Roo!s o/ An$er in Childhood 0hildren ha4e been described as the worldIs best obser4ers but the worldIs worst interpreters+ (he' are, therefore, most 4ulnerable to pickin1 up and packin1 in the an1er of their parents Kwho likel' did the same when the' were childrenL+ (he fruit of parentsI an1er contains seeds of reEection that are often sown in their childrenIs earl' 'ears+ And man' children will not wait until adulthood to eCpress their an1er+ -n far too man' cases more bitter seeds of reEection are sown throu1hout adolescence until the 'oun1 person is o4erwhelmed b' a world that is hostile and cruel+ -n recent da's we ha4e seen these bitter seeds bear tra1ic, deadl' fruit as adolescents ha4e eCploded in 4iolence+

De will discuss in chapter 1! the effect of the 6world s'stem7 on an1er, focusin1 especiall' on the current climate in American societ'+ But for a 'oun1 child, his or her 6world7 is primaril' the home+ (hose who 1row up in an en4ironment where the' are fed a stead' diet of o4ert reEection are 1ettin1 the messa1e loud and clear/ Gou are worthless, inadequate, stupid, hopeless, dirt', and unwanted+ (he' are unlo4ed and the' know it+ (hat reEection will produce a deep@seated an1er or ra1e in the reEected childIs heart+ But reEection can also be co4ert, hidden behind the walls of a seemin1l' health' famil' en4ironment+ Bill =illham, in his book )ifetime =uarantee, eCplains the difference between o4ert and co4ert reEection/ -n the case of the person who is bein1 o4ertl' reEected, all the cards are up on the table, and b' the teen 'ears most children see 4er' well that the' are bein1 reEected+ -n the case of co4ert reEection, howe4er, most kids ne4er discern whatIs happenin1 to them+ -t simpl' seeps o4er their personalities like a slowl' 1atherin1 fo1 the' canIt identif', much less 4erbaliJe to someone else+ (he emotional results are the same for both t'pes of reEection, thou1h, so the co4ertl' reEected child mi1ht sa', 6- feel as if the' donIt lo4e me,7 whereas the o4ertl' reEected child mi1ht sa', 6- know nobod' lo4es me+7 =illham then 1oes on to eCplain numerous wa's in which co4ert reEection can show up+ 8ne is perfectionism/ parents imposin1 their unrealistic

eCpectations of themsel4es on their children+ 0hildren trapped in this s'stem learn that the' are Eust not 1ood enou1h+ -1norin1 'our children and not spendin1 time with them sends the messa1e that the' are worth less than other people and thin1s+ No wonder the' come to 4iew themsel4es as worthlessF 0omparin1 children unfa4orabl' to others or ridiculin1 them can cause them to think the' are unlo4able, unacceptable, and unworth'+ Apart from the 1race of =od, those soul@ labels can mark them for the rest of their li4es+ 84erindul1ence can cause children to be an1r' at a world that will not bow its knee at their demand when the' 1row up+ 84erprotection can communicate to children that the' are weak and ill@prepared to face the world+ 5robabl' the most rampant source of co4ert reEection, howe4er, is performance@based acceptance+ (his is acceptance with strin1s attached+ -t is conditional lo4e eCpressed as, 6De lo4e 'ou whenQ7 or 6if+Q7 -t is the moti4atin1 force behind man' dri4en people+ -t is the frown that creases the face of a mom who sees the Bs and i1nores the As on her childrenIs report cards+ -t is the proud slap on the back from the dad when his son scores the touchdown and the look of dis1ust when he fumbles+ -t is the Eo' in parentsI e'es when their children declare their decision to enter the medical profession and the disappro4al eCpressed when the' choose to pursue a career in music+% .owe4er it is eCpressed, performance@based acceptance is not trul' acceptance at all+ -t is reEection,

and like all reEection, it can cause a child to feel an1r', worthless, and unwanted+ -n reaction, some will stri4e to 1ain the acceptance of others and pro4e that the' are worth'+ (he' are dri4en to beat the s'stem and in the process often become an1r' controllers+ 8thers will rebel a1ainst the s'stem in deep an1er and bitterness+ (he' would ha4e 'ou belie4e the' donIt want or need 'our lo4e and acceptance, but in realit' the' desperatel' need it+ 8ur characters are most affected b' the presence or absence of unconditional lo4e and acceptance in our homesBand this primaril' in the earl' 'ears of our de4elopment+ Bloc*ed Go ls -n the Bible there are numerous cases where famil' and friends pro4oked men and women to an1er+ .ere are a few eCamples+ T <iriam and Aaron were an1r' with <oses out of en4' KNumbers 1"L+ T ;sau was an1r' with :acob because he was tricked out of his fatherIs blessin1 K=enesis "%/21@2 L+ T :acob became an1r' with ?achel because she had eCpectations of him he felt powerless to fulfill K=enesis #!/"L+ T :acob also was mad at his uncle, )aban, for treatin1 him unfairl' K=enesis #1/# L+

T 5otiphar was an1r' at :oseph because he belie4ed he had been betra'ed b' a friend whom he trusted K=enesis #9/19L+ T Balaam became furious with his donke' because the animal refused to obe' him and mo4e forward KNumbers ""/"%L+ -n each of the cases, these peopleIs an1er was based on somethin1 or someone the' had no ri1ht or abilit' to control+ 0onsciousl' or subconsciousl', we all ha4e certain eCpectations of others and of oursel4es, with the hope that the circumstances of life will allow us to carr' out our life plan+ But sometimes others donIt cooperate, and the circumstances are not alwa's fa4orable+ -f we belie4e that our identit' and sense of worth is dependent upon the cooperation of other people and upon fa4orable circumstances, then we will likel' tr' to control them+ Dhen we disco4er that we canIt, then those people or circumstances are blockin1 us from our 1oals, and we 1et an1r'+ -f an' outcome we desire is uncertain, we feel anCiousH and if our 1oal seems impossible to reach, we 1et depressed+$ Go ls nd Desires (here are no 1oals for our li4es that can be blocked or be uncertain or impossible if the'Ire 1i4en to us b' =od+ Dith .im all thin1s are possible K<atthew 19/" L, and we can do all thin1s throu1h 0hrist who stren1thens us K5hilippians 2/1#L+ -f =od wants it

done, it can be doneBand whate4er =od has required us to do, we can do b' .is 1race+ (he question then is, Dhat is included in, and eCcluded from, 6all thin1s7M (o answer that question, we need to distin1uish between a 1odl' desire and a 1odl' 1oal+ 6A 1odl' 1oal is an' specific orientation that reflects =odIs purpose for our li4es and is not dependent on people or circumstances be'ond our ri1ht or abilit' to control+79 =odIs 1oal for our li4es is to become the person .e created us to be+ 5aul said, 6(his is the will of =od, 'our sanctification7 K1 (hessalonians 2/#L+ Nobod'Bnothin1Bon planet ;arth can keep us from becomin1 the person =od created us to be+ (he onl' ones who can interfere with that 1oal is oursel4es+ But if we falsel' belie4e that who we are, and our purpose for bein1 here, are dependent upon other people or fa4orable circumstances, we will eCperience a lot of an1er, anCiet', and depression, because other people will not alwa's cooperate with our wishes, and the circumstances of life will not alwa's be fa4orable+ And of course we ne4er ha4e the absolute ri1ht or abilit' to control others or the circumstances of life+ Now contrast a 1odl' 1oal with a 1odl' desire, which is an' specific result that does depend on the cooperation of other people, the success of e4ents, or fa4orable circumstances that we ha4e no ri1ht or abilit' to control+1! =odl' desires will become a problem for us if we raise them to the le4el of 1oals+ *or eCample, a cashier in the 1rocer' store has to

check the price of an item the person in front of 'ou is bu'in1+ GouIre in a hurr' to 1et home and fiC dinner, but the cashier seems to be mo4in1 at the speed of a 1lacier+ GouIre frustrated with the dela' and start to 1et an1r'+ (hat 6slowpoke7 is blockin1 'our 1oal of 1ettin1 in and out of there fastF But the cashier is not determinin1 who 'ou are+ .ow 'ou respond will re4eal 'our flesh patterns and 'our belief s'stem+ 5atience is a fruit of the Spirit, and if 'ou were walkin1 b' the Spirit, it would become e4ident+ -n this case 'ou ha4e a 1odl' desire KfiCin1 dinner on timeL, but it has been ele4ated to a 1oal that is dri4in1 'ou into impatience and an1er+ Suppose 'ouIre cruisin1 down the interstate, eCcited about 1ettin1 home to 'our famil'+ Suddenl', up ahead 'ou see the dreaded si1ht of the brake li1hts of hundreds of cars, indicatin1 a traffic Eam+ Dith no place to turn off and make a detour around it, 'ou slam 'our hand on the steerin1 wheel in an1er+ Another blocked 1oalF Now it ma' be that 'our desire to 1et to a certain place on time is blocked, but =odIs 1oal for 'ou to be conformed to .is ima1e is not bein1 blocked Bit is bein1 tested+ Dill 'ou ele4ate 'our 1odl' desire K1ettin1 home to be with the famil'L to the le4el of a consumin1 1oalM -f so, an1er will most assuredl' master 'ou, and the fruit of the Spirit will be suppressed+ Suppose 'our 1oal as a parent is to ha4e a lo4in1, harmonious, happ', 0hristlike famil'+ Dho can block that 1oalM ;4er' other member of the famil' can, and

the' all will at some time+ (hat is a le1itimate 1odl' desire, but there is no wa' 'ou can control e4er' member of 'our famil' to make it happen, and if 'ou tr', there will be a lot of an1r' people in 'our household+ .owe4er, it is a 1odl' 1oal to become the spouse and parent =od created 'ou to be, and nobod' can block that 1oal but 'ou+ Thre !s !o O#r Go ls As weI4e seen, consciousl' or unconsciousl' we de4elop 1oals in our li4es and proceed to li4e accordin1 to a plan to achie4e those 1oals+ Dhen somethin1 or someone comes alon1 and pre4ents us from achie4in1 our plans, we 1et mad+ De see that person or e4ent as makin1 life more difficult for oursel4es, so we react in an1er+ (he intensit' with which we react to a particular situation and the duration of our an1er o4er it indicate how threatenin1 that e4ent seems to us+ -n other words, how important a 1oal in our li4es is, is shown b' how lon1 and stron1 our an1er is when that 1oal is blocked+ (hink about how 'ouId feel if 'ou 1ot a flat tireH then think about how 'ouId feel if 'ou were told b' 'our boss and collea1ues that 'ou were a complete failure on 'our Eob+ (he flat tire ma' disrupt 'our plans and pre4ent 'ou from 1ettin1 to a certain place on time+ But 'ou can alwa's chan1e the tire, or call AAA and the' will chan1e it for 'ou+ Anno'in1 as it ma' be, 'ou will probabl' 1et o4er it in a short time+ But a stin1in1 reproach to 'our professional competence or

a disruption of 'our career 1oals strikes a deeper chord+ (he an1er 'ou would feel toward those who made such an attack on 'ou or pre4ented 'our promotion would likel' cause a few sleepless ni1hts and could e4en throw 'ou into a tailspin of doubt, debilitatin1 introspection, and e4en depression+ Some people mi1ht e4en respond in an1r' 4iolence+ De ha4e a choice+ De can respond accordin1 to our old flesh patterns b' ha4in1 an outburst of an1er, or we can respond b' faith in the power of the .ol' Spirit+ (he fruit of the Spirit is lo4e, and lo4e is eChibited in Eo', peace, and patience+ -nstead of 1ettin1 depressed when a 1oal seems impossible, we can ha4e the Eo' of the )ord+ -nstead of 1ettin1 anCious when a 1oal appears to be uncertain, we can ha4e the peace of =od that passes all understandin1+ -nstead of an1er, we can learn to be patient with people and 1row throu1h the testin1 and trials of life+ The Role o/ Tri ls nd Dis %%oin!"en!s -f the difficulties of life make 'ou an1r', then consider 5aulIs words in ?omans &/#@&/ 6De also eCult in our tribulations, knowin1 that tribulation brin1s about perse4eranceH and perse4erance, pro4en characterH and pro4en character, hopeH and hope does not disappoint, because the lo4e of =od has been poured out within our hearts throu1h the .ol' Spirit who was 1i4en to us+7 (he ine4itable pressures and stresses of life ser4e to re4eal wron1 1oals, but the' make possible =odIs 1oal for our life, which is pro4en

character+ (here is no crisis in life that we cannot 1row throu1h+ Dhen 'our children are not beha4in1 properl', the' are not makin1 'ou an1r'+ (he' are helpin1 'ou conform to the ima1e of =od+ Dhen the' are misbeha4in1, the' need 'ou to be the parent =od created 'ou to be, and 'ou need to become that kind of a parent+ -f a traffic accident has blocked 'our lane, ma'be 'ou should pra' for those who are inEured instead of 1ettin1 an1r' because 'our desire to 1et someplace is bein1 blocked+ A suit salesman attended one of our conferences and shared his eCperience/ Gour conference has had a profound impact on m' life+ - was a suit salesman+ No, - was an an1r' suit salesman+ - would 1et so mad if a customer walked awa' without bu'in1 a suit when - was sure he was 1oin1 to make a purchase+ De had these sales meetin1s where we were challen1ed to set a 1oal for the number of suits we wanted to sell that week+ 5riJes were offered if we met or beat our 1oals+ wanted to be the salesperson of the 'ear and win a trip to .awaii+ (o make matters worse, m' boss is :ewish and - ha4e been a horrible witness to him+ .e had to pull me aside a number of times when - 1ot an1r' and tell me to settle down+ - realiJed this week that - had the wron1 1oal+ <' 1oal is not to sell a certain number of suits+ <' 1oal is to be

the suit salesman that =od has called me to be+ ?ather than tr'in1 to manipulate and persuade a customer to bu' a suit, - be1an to think of what the customer reall' needed+ - actuall' talked a customer out of bu'in1 a suit that - knew he wouldnIt be satisfied with+ (his simple truth has had such a profound impact on m' countenance that m' boss pulled me aside last ni1ht and asked, 6Are 'ou all ri1htM7 (his newfound freedom - feel must ha4e had some effect on m' customers, because - sold more suits last week than e4er ha4e before+ Dhat if a 1odl' desire isnIt metM De will feel disappointed+ But letIs face it, life will not alwa's 1o our wa', and people will not alwa's respond to us as the' should, but that is not what determines who we are+ =od has alread' determined who we are+ As .is children, we are in the process of bein1 conformed to .is ima1eBand nobod' or nothin1 can keep that from happenin1 but we oursel4es+ 8ur disappointments can and should be steppin1@stones to 1reater maturit', as the followin1 poem eCpresses/ 6Dis %%oin!"en!3(is %%oin!"en!47 0han1e one letter, then - see (hat the thwartin1 of m' purpose -s =odIs better choice for me+ .is appointment must be blessin1, (hoI it ma' come in dis1uise, *or the end from the be1innin1 8pen to .is wisdom lies+

6>isappointmentB.is appointment,7 No 1ood thin1 will .e withhold, *rom denials oft we 1ather (reasures of .is lo4e untold+ Dell .e knows each broken purpose )eads to fuller, deeper trust, And the end of all .is dealin1s 5ro4es our =od is wise and Eust+ 6>isappointmentB.is Appointment,7 )ord, - take it, then, as such, )ike cla' in hands of a potter, Gieldin1 wholl' to (h' touch+ All m' lifeIs plan is (h' moldin1H Not one sin1le choice be mineH )et me answer, unrepinin1B 6*ather, not m' will, but thine+7 B;dith )illian Goun111

Le!-s %r y !o$e!her' >ear hea4enl' *ather, - ha4e li4ed m' life too often dri4en b' 1oals that should ha4e sta'ed as mere desires+ And - ha4e been decei4ed into belie4in1 that m' identit' and 4alue as a person are based on m' bein1 ri1ht, bein1 respected, bein1 understood, and bein1 in control+ - ha4e tried so hard to 1et m' needs met and 6win7 because - thou1ht that it was up to me+ (hank Gou for for1i4in1 me for m' foolish pride and the an1er that has been the result+ - choose to 1i4e up

all un1odl' 1oals, and - ask Gou to show me Gour purposes for m' life+ - thank Gou that - can trust Gou to take care of me and make m' character like the )ord :esus+ And itIs in .is name - pra', amen+

C(A&TER 8 Be An$ry B#! Don-! Sin .e that would be an1r' and sin not must not be an1r' with an'thin1 but sin+ B(.8<AS S;09;? Dhen - walked into B'ronIs office - felt like makin1 a U@turn and headin1 out of town+ .is wife, <aril'n, and teena1e dau1hter, <eredith, were there as well+ Gou could cut the an1er and tension in that room with a knife+ - was 1lad no one actuall' had oneF (he conflict - had come to address was caused b' <eredith bein1 bound and determined to marr' :onathan, a new 0hristian about ei1ht 'ears her senior+ .er father, B'ron, steadfast in his embracin1 of biblical principles, was bound and determined to do e4er'thin1 he could to stop herQor die tr'in1+ -t was a classic case of the irresistible force meetin1 the immo4able obEect+ <aril'n, a 1odl' woman, was bein1 ripped apart, torn between submittin1 to her husband and not wantin1 to alienate her dau1hter+ .er stor' is 1ut@wrenchin1+ As a famil' we were in the test of our li4es+ <ostl' respondin1 as thin1s were hurled at usBflamin1 arrowsF B'ron was reall' an1r' and could not control it+ - became an1r' with him for dri4in1 <eredith awa'+ thou1ht - could be the one to keep these two stron1@ willed, emotional, stubborn people - lo4ed so much

from destro'in1 each other+ - could notF So much dama1e, so man' inappropriate actionsBAN=?GBso man' destructi4e wordsBAN=;?+ - remember screamin1 at B'ron at the top of m' 4oice, 6Dh' wonIt 'ou stop thisF7(his was the last time <eredith asked if she could come home+ B'ronIs answerB6)ea4e :onathanF7 <eredith was screamin1 at him, too+ - canIt belie4e this memor', such an eCplosion of emotion+ remember before <eredith left home, after we found out she was still seein1 :onathan+ <' husband dared :onathan to come and face us+ B'ron lost it with <eredith while :onathan was on his wa' o4er to our house+ .e 1ot ph'sical with her+ (he first time e4er+ (otall' out of control+ - was petrified+ - remember feelin1 desperate+ - couldnIt fi1ure out how to defuse B'ron+ - knew he was 1oin1 to ha4e a heart attack+ could see his heart beatin1 throu1h his shirt+ (here was no color in his lips+ .is e'es were not his+ .elp, =odF <eredith was traumatiJedF - reall' wondered what would happen to :onathan when he dro4e up+ .elp, =odF *ortunatel', =od inter4ened+ -n m' meetin1 with the famil', each person was able to freel' eCpress his or her feelin1s and an1er+ (hrou1h a process of =odIs healin1, B'ron came to accept :onathan and <eredithIs marria1e+ *irst, thou1h, we had to help B'ron throu1h a 4er' painful process of 1i4in1 up a 1odl' desire that had deteriorated into an un1odl' 1oal+

Le rnin$ /ro" O#r Tri ls :ames 1 and ?omans & teach us that trials are desi1ned to produce endurance, pro4e character Klike 0hristIsL, and hope+ (hrou1h trials we can become betterQor we can become bitter+ -n other words, trials are one of =odIs main tools to accomplish .is 1oals in our li4es+ As we be1an to discuss in the pre4ious chapter, when we refuse to accept =odIs 1oals as our own, we end up 4iewin1 tou1h times as tests of =odIs lo4e for us rather than as tests of our own character+ De an1ril' cr' out to =od, or lash out at others rather than bein1 able to 1i4e thanks K1 (hessalonians &/1$L+ -f we allow our an1er to turn to bitterness we can 6OcomeP short of the 1race of =od7 K.ebrews 1"/1&L, thus se4erel' hinderin1 the process of becomin1 like :esus+ At this point 'ou mi1ht be sa'in1, 6So what do 'ou eCpect me to do if - 1et firedBthank =od or somethin1M7 As a matter of fact, thatIs eCactl' what we are sa'in1+ (o do otherwise is to in4ite an1er, anCiet', and depression to take control, rather than the Spirit of =od+ (hanks1i4in1 demonstrates faith and is a powerful an1er@defuser+ -t demonstrates that 'ou ha4e adopted =odIs 1oal for 'our life Kbecomin1 like 0hristL when 'ou can pra' like this/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - am upset with what has Eust happened to me+ - donIt understand it and - donIt like it+ But - am choosin1 ri1ht now to thank Gou that Gou

lo4e me and ha4e promised to take care of me+ choose to belie4e that this situation or these people are not keepin1 me from bein1 the person Gou created me to be+ - refuse to allow m' an1er to control me+ -nstead - choose to walk b' faith, and - in4ite Gour .ol' Spirit to fill me+ - thank Gou that Gou will use e4en this setback to make me more like :esus+ (hat is what want most of all+ - know Gou will 1i4e me Gour peace and wisdom to know what to do+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ -nstead of Eust 1i4in1 in to an1er or feelin1 ashamed of it, let it act as a 6warnin1 li1ht7 to indicate the probable presence of a selfish or worldl' 1oal rather than a 1odl' one+ B' allowin1 an1er to be 'our dia1nostic tool, 'ou can learn from 'our mistakes rather than simpl' repeatin1 them+ (hatIs what - was tr'in1 to do when - asked the )ord wh' - was so an1r' with Brian Ksee the pre4ious chapterL+ Belie4e me, the )ord is far more moti4ated to answer those kinds of questions than we are to ask themF

Dhen =oals Become -dols (he bottom line is that wron1 1oals ma' simpl' be 1ood desires that ha4e become too important to us, somethin1 we feel we canIt or donIt want to li4e without+ Dhen this happens, that 1oal becomes our 1odBan idol+ An idol is an'thin1 that we look to before or in the place of =od to meet our needs or satisf' our

desires+ K-n contrast, the mart'red missionar' :im ;lliot wrote, 6.e is no fool who 1i4es what he cannot keep to 1ain what he cannot lose+7L (ake, for eCample, the desires to be noticed, or to be appreciated, or to be respected+ 0ertainl' there is nothin1 wron1 with those desires+ (here would be somethin1 wron1 with someone who cared nothin1 about the perspecti4e and opinion of others+ But what happens when those le1itimate desires become dri4in1 1oalsM De will sin b' stri4in1 to 1et our own wa' and ha4e our need for appro4al met throu1h people rather than =od+ -f we are decei4ed into belie4in1 we need the appro4al of other people in order for our own needs to be met and to be happ', we will be dri4en to 1ain that appro4al+ (he more difficult it is to obtain the acceptance and respect of others, the harder weIll push+ But tr'in1 to control or manipulate other people will not meet our needs+ DeIll Eust become an1rier as we encounter ne1ati4e circumstances and people who fail to meet our 6eCpectations+7 -f we do not know that we are alread' lo4ed, accepted, and appro4ed b' =od, far too man' of us will tr' to 1et those needs met throu1h other people+ (he apostle 5aul wrote in =alatians 1/1!, 6Am - now seekin1 the fa4or of men, or of =odM 8r am - stri4in1 to please menM -f - were still tr'in1 to please men, - would not be a bondser4ant of 0hrist+7 5eople@pleasers are bond ser4ants of other people, not of 0hrist+

Some 9inds of An1er Are Normal and ?i1ht (his issue becomes especiall' acute when we eCperience reEection from a lo4ed one, such as a parent, child, or spouse+ (hese instances are the most emotionall' 4olatile+ (he closer the relationship, the more painful the woundin1 and the 1reater potential for an1er+ -n our eCperience, when we ha4e encoura1ed people to make a list of who the' need to for1i4e, the first people mentioned are mom and dad, 9& percent of the time+ -t is normal to hurt and to eCperience an1er when someone we lo4e does not lo4e us in return+ 0+S+ )ewis wrote, 6An1er is the fluid that lo4e bleeds when 'ou cut it+71 Not all an1er is the result of wron1 1oals bein1 blocked+ Sometimes we eCperience an1er because we ha4e 1enuinel' been hurt+ ;4er'bod' has an inherent sense of Eustice, that is, what he or she percei4es to be ri1ht or wron1+ 8bser4e what happens when one personIs idea of Eustice doesnIt a1ree with another personIs idea of ri1ht and wron1+ -f both ha4e stron1 con4ictions it will ine4itabl' lead to a heated if not an1r' eCchan1e+ Gou can obser4e this on man' tele4ision talk shows where people with opposin1 4iews are brou1ht to1ether+ Such public debates usuall' lead to an an1r' eCchan1e+

Ri$h!eo#s An$er An1er also comes in response to a percei4ed 4iolation of oneIs ri1hts or to a percei4ed abdication of responsibilit' b' another person+ Dhen someoneIs ri1hts are 4iolated, we call that abuse+ Dhen someone fails to properl' care and pro4ide for those the' are responsible for, we call that ne1lect+ De 1et an1r' when we percei4e others or oursel4es bein1 abused or ne1lected+ -f we are Eud1in1 correctl', then our an1er is ri1hteous+ An1er is le1itimate and Eustified when actual abuse or ne1lect has taken place+ *or eCample, 'ou are in the mall and 'ou see an adult fiercel' dra11in1 a child b' the arm and callin1 her cruel names because she accidentall' broke somethin1 in a store+ Gou immediatel' feel moral outra1e and indi1nation o4er the dama1e bein1 done to that child+ (hat is ri1hteous an1er, and it ou1ht to prompt 'ou to take action on behalf of that child+ (hat is a true case of abuse, and therefore 'our an1er is le1itimate, as lon1 as the Spirit of =od leads an' subsequent action 'ou take+ (he ri1hteous person should be an1r' when he or she encounters political corruption, racial preEudice, abortion, porno1raph', child or elder abuse and ne1lect, wife@batterin1, and other human@ri1hts 4iolations+ ?i1hteous an1er consists in 1ettin1 an1r' at the thin1s that an1er =od, and then seekin1 a proper remed' to correct the wron1+ :esus demonstrated these thin1s when .e cleansed the temple, cr'in1 out, 6-t is written,

R<' house shall be called a house of pra'erIH but 'ou are makin1 it a robbersI den7 K<atthew "1/1#L+ :esus was le1itimatel' an1r' at the defamation of =odIs 1lor' in .is temple, and .e did somethin1 about it+ .owe4er, if 'ou want to 1et an1r' and not sin, then 1et an1r' the wa' 0hrist did+ =et an1r' at sin+ :esus forcefull' put a stop to the sinful beha4ior, but .e did not hurt the sinners+ 8n one Sabbath, :esus entered the s'na1o1ue and saw a man with a withered hand+ .opin1 to accuse :esus, .is enemies watched to see if .e would do an'thin1+ Dhen :esus asked them, 6-s it lawful to do 1ood or to do harm on the Sabbath, to sa4e a life or to killM7 K<ark #/2L, the' remained silent+ (he )ord looked 6around at them with an1er, 1rie4ed at their hardness of heart,7 and proceeded to heal the man an'wa' K#/&L+ :esus was filled with indi1nation at the 5harisees, who 4alued their reli1ious traditions so much and human life so little+ (he 5harisees showed total ne1lect of the disabled manIs need for merc' and healin1+ So :esus became an1r' in accordance with the ri1hteous an1er of =od+ (hat an1er mo4ed .im to do what was ri1ht+ Ri$h!eo#s An$er Sho#ld Le d !o Ac!ion Unfortunatel', not all of our an1er is as ri1hteous as the )ord :esusI was+ *ar too often we wron1l' Eud1e others and react an1ril' when the' fail to li4e up to our eCpectations+ (hese flesh patterns re4eal a fault'

belief s'stem, and 4iolate the commandment to 6Eud1e not, that 'ou be not Eud1ed+7 ?i1hteous an1er that does not result in ri1hteous action ma' lead to c'nicism and a sour spirit+ ?i1hteous indi1nation should lead us to do somethin1 constructi4eBto for1i4e, pra', alle4iate sufferin1 or oppression, crusade for Eustice, and so on+ Dhen we simpl' stew in our indi1nation, we de4elop a bitter spirit+ 5salm #%/$ warns us to 6cease from an1er and forsake wrathH do not fret, it leads onl' to e4ildoin1+7 ?i1hteous indi1nation should result in asserti4e an1er+ (his is the an1er we eCperience and eCpress when people in4ade our personal space, threaten our ri1hts, or 4iolate the emotional or ph'sical boundaries of oursel4es and others+ As opposed to hostile or a11ressi4e an1er that seeks to do harm, asserti4e an1er is desi1ned to firml' sa' 6(his far and no fartherF7 and then escort out those who ha4e crossed the line+ (his is not a selfish or unlo4in1 thin1 to do at allBrather, the opposite is true+ Dhen we set limits on what we allow others to do b' eCercisin1 asserti4e an1er, the door remains open for lo4e+ -f we fail to take action, howe4er, we will find oursel4es 1rowin1 increasin1l' irritable, drained, and resentful+ (here are frequent opportunities to eCpress asserti4e an1er toward those who knowin1l' or unknowin1l' take ad4anta1e of others+ -n so doin1 we need to speak the truth in lo4e K;phesians 2/1&L and ha4e the other personIs best interest at heart+ (he 1oal is not to

1et e4en but to correct that which is wron1 so that all are built up+ .ere are some eCamples of asserti4e an1er from (he An1er Dorkbook+" T An o4erworked church member can politel' but firml' sa' no to a request to do e4en more proEects+ T A parent can state 1uidelines for discipline without resortin1 to debate or condescension toward the child+ T Dhen swamped with more responsibilities than he or she can mana1e, a person can request help from friends+ T A tired mom can tell her famil' she will take a #!@ minute break with no interruptions+ T Spouses can talk about their differences, offerin1 helpful su11estions without raisin1 their 4oices or repeatin1 their messa1es incessantl'+ T A famil' member ma' choose to pursue an independent acti4it' instead of succumbin1 to the persistent demands of eCtended famil'+ - once counseled a man whose mother kept callin1 him on the phone and mercilessl' belittlin1 him+ ;4er' time he would han1 up the phone, heId be de4astated+ But he felt 1uilt' if he hun1 up on her+ )ater he would feel an1r' and would deepl' resent her accusations+ -t was demoraliJin1 to both him and his wife+

- su11ested that he not answer the phone when it ran1+ - encoura1ed his wife to act as 6secretar'7 to screen his calls and e4en check the answerin1@ machine messa1es when the' returned home+ (hen encoura1ed the husband to call his mother and politel' inform her that he would speak to her onl' so lon1 as she remained ci4il+ (he moment she went off into one of her tirades, he would politel' han1 up+ Dhat a relief for them when the' were 1i4en a workable plan to use asserti4e an1er for their own safet' and sanit'F M s!erin$ O#r An$er (he whole line of reasonin1 weI4e been followin1 ma' be new to some of =odIs people+ <an' 0hristians ha4e been tau1ht all their li4es that an' and all an1er is e4il+ (his is simpl' not the case+ ;phesians 2/" sa's, 6Be an1r', and 'et do not sin+7 (he apostle mi1ht ha4e been quotin1 5salm 2/2, which commands, 6(remble, and do not sin+7 -n other words, we ma' ha4e an initial reaction of an1er toward what we percei4e to be wron1, but we donIt ha4e to beha4e sinfull' as a result+ ?emember that we ha4e no control o4er our autonomic ner4ous s'stem, but we do ha4e 4olitional control o4er what we think and do+ 0ain reacted in an1er when =od reEected him and his sacrifice of crops while acceptin1 his brother, Abel, and his sacrifice of an animal+ (his first biblical incident of an1er is worth a look+

So 0ain became 4er' an1r' and his countenance fell+ (hen the )8?> said to 0ain, 6Dh' are 'ou an1r'M And wh' has 'our countenance fallenM -f 'ou do well, will not 'our countenance be lifted upM And if 'ou do not do well, sin is crouchin1 at the doorH and its desire is for 'ou, but 'ou must master it7 K=enesis 2/&@%L+ 0ain either ne4er understood =odIs direction for the proper wa' to worship .im, or he willfull' disobe'ed+ (his percei4ed reEection b' =od made him an1r'+ >r+ =ar' 0hapman describes how 0ainIs bod' likel' responded to his an1r' assessment of the situation/ (he bod' 1ets in on the eCperience of an1er+ (he bod'Is ner4ous s'stem 61ets the adrenaline flowin1+7 >ependin1 upon the le4el of an1er an' or all of the followin1 ma' happen ph'sicall'+ (he adrenal 1lands release two hormones/ epinephrine KadrenalineL and norepinephrine KnoradrenalineL+ (hese two chemicals seem to 1i4e people the arousal, the tenseness, the eCcitement, the heat of an1er+ 6(hese hormones in turn stimulate chan1es in heart rate, blood pressure, lun1 function, and di1esti4e tract acti4it' which further add to the 1eneral arousal feelin1s people ha4e when the' are an1r'+7 -t is these ph'siolo1ical chan1es that 1i4e people the feelin1 of bein1 o4erwhelmed b' an1er and unable to control it+# 0ain was eCperiencin1 an1er in reaction to what he percei4ed to be reEection+ .e was not ri1ht with =od, but he still had the chance to make it ri1ht+ .is an1er had not reached the point of sin+ Notice =odIs

warnin1/ 6-f 'ou do not do well, sin is crouchin1 at the doorH and its desire is for 'ou, but 'ou must master it7 K=enesis 2/%L+ (he fact that sin was at the door and had not 'et come in shows that 0ain was in 1ra4e dan1er of sinnin1, but that he had not 'et crossed that line+ We C n Con!rol O#r An$er (he intense ph'siolo1ical reactions produced b' our adrenal 1lands can decei4e us into thinkin1 our an1er is be'ond control and that we ha4e to 1i4e in to it+ But that is simpl' not true+ Dhen we find oursel4es emotionall' o4ercome, sin is crouchin1 at the door, and its desire is for us+ But we must master it, and that is our responsibilit', accordin1 to =od+ -f we donIt, not onl' we but also those around us will be the worse for it+ -t is a poor eCcuse to sa' 6(hatIs Eust the wa' - am7 or 6(emper Eust runs in our famil'+7 -t is sinful to wink at an1er and proudl' declare it to be part of our ethnic herita1e+ (urnin1 to =od and choosin1 the truth can control 4olatile an1er+ So when does the emotion of an1er become sinM Dhen, as =od warned 0ain, we do not do well+ 0ain had the opportunit' to offer an acceptable sacrifice to =od+ .ad he done so, his an1er would ha4e been 1one and so would its ph'sical effects Khis countenance would ha4e been lifted upL+ Dhen the emotion of an1er becomes wrath or ra1e

KthumosL, or fleshl' hostilit' Kor1eL, it has become sin+ -t has become a controllin1 force that will cause us to beha4e wron1l'+ -n 0ainIs case, it resulted in the murder of his brother, an act that put him in lea1ue with the e4il one K1 :ohn #/11@1"L+ (his act of murder was the end result of 0ainIs uncontrolled an1er+ -n realit', 0ain had murdered Abel in his heart before he carried out the deed with his hands+ -n <atthew &/"1@ "", :esus teaches that the battle has to be won in our hearts+ Gou ha4e heard that the ancients were told, 6Gou shall not commit murder7 and 6Dhoe4er commits murder shall be liable to the court+7 But - sa' to 'ou that e4er'one who is an1r' with his brother shall be 1uilt' before the courtH and whoe4er shall sa' to his brother, 6Gou 1ood@for@nothin1,7 shall be 1uilt' before the supreme courtH and whoe4er shall sa', 6Gou fool,7 shall be 1uilt' enou1h to 1o into the fier' hell+ M in! inin$ Con!rol 1y Thin*in$ Ri$h!eo#sly (o maintain control o4er our emotions, we ha4e to assume responsibilit' for our thou1hts+ (he an1er is there because we ha4e mentall' processed the data our ph'sical senses ha4e picked up+ De do ha4e the capacit' to choose what we are 1oin1 to do with that information, and b' choosin1 the truth we will mana1e our emotional response of an1er+ 8ften when we see another person emotionall' o4ercome, we want to 1rab hold of the person and sa', 6(hink+ 5ut this in perspecti4e+ =et hold of 'ourself+7 And the onl' wa' to

maintain control is b' thinkin1 ri1hteousl'+ Dhen our initial response is an1er, then our thou1ht process should be as follows/ An1er that leads to unri1hteous deeds is sinful and destructi4e, but an1er that moti4ates us to ri1hteous deeds is 1ood+ -t is constructi4e+ -t is the fulfillment of ?omans 1"/"1, which sa's, 6>o not be o4ercome b' e4il, but o4ercome e4il with 1ood+7 .owe4er, allowin1 an1er to fester and boil within our heart is the same as lettin1 the sun 1o down on our an1er, which 1i4es the de4il an opportunit' K;phesians 2/"%L to operate his 6di4ide and conquer7 and 6search and destro'7 mission K1 5eter &/$L+ Such an1er results in an1r' words that 1rie4e the .ol' Spirit K;phesians 2/"9@#!L+ -t deca's into 6bitterness and wrath and an1erQalon1 with all malice7 K;phesians 2/#1L+ (o win this battle for our mind we ha4e to practice 6threshold thinkin1+7 As soon as a thou1ht steps into the door of our mind, we must take that thou1ht capti4e to the obedience of 0hrist K" 0orinthians 1!/&L+ -f what we are thinkin1 is not in accord with the Dord of =od, then we must choose not to set our mind on it+ 0hoose rather to think on the thin1s that are true, ri1ht, pure, honorable, and so on K5hilippians 2/$L+ Be W ry o/ !he &o)ers o/ D r*ness De canIt blame e4er'thin1 on the responses of our flesh, howe4er+ (he battle for our mind ma' ha4e a spiritual base outside oursel4es, as 5aul clearl'

warned us about+ 6(he Spirit eCplicitl' sa's that in later times some will fall awa' from the faith, pa'in1 attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons7 K1 (imoth' 2/1L+ 6- am afraid that, as the serpent decei4ed ;4e b' his craftiness, 'our minds will be led astra' from the simplicit' and purit' of de4otion to 0hrist7 K" 0orinthians 11/#L+ De ha4e seen the e4idence of this all o4er the world in hundreds of counselin1 sessions+ (he role that the powers of darkness can pla' in an1er out of control is ob4ious in Scripture+ *or instance, after >a4idIs 4ictor' o4er the 5hilistines, a womenIs choir san1, 6Saul has slain his thousands, and >a4id his ten thousands7 K1 Samuel 1$/%L+ Saul 6became 4er' an1r'7 and 6looked at >a4id with suspicion from that da' on7 K4erses $ and 9L+ -t is clear that Saul was a 4er' insecure man, who felt eCtremel' threatened when an'one took the limeli1ht awa' from him+ 8n the followin1 da' an e4il spirit came upon Saul and incited him to tr' to murder >a4id K4erses 1!@11L+ (he attempt failed, but Saul came to dread >a4id K4erse 1&L and became obsessed with tr'in1 to kill him+ (his connection between the de4il and murder should not surprise us, since :esus .imself described Satan as 6a murderer from the be1innin17 K:ohn $/22L+ .e is a liar, and he uses his lies to decei4e us into thinkin1 that other people are the enem' rather than he himself+ (wo thin1s need to be said at this point, howe4er+

*irst, unlike in the case of 9in1 Saul, who li4ed under the old co4enant, the Spirit of =od will not lea4e us and be replaced b' an e4il spirit+ .ebrews 1#/& promises that =od will ne4er desert us or forsake us+ Second, not all an1r' people attempt murder, thou1h the' ma' eCperience more murderous thou1hts than the' care to admit+ .a4in1 said this, we still dare not minimiJe the risk of comin1 under a measure of demonic influence when we allow an1er to fester in our hearts+ 5aul commanded in ;phesians 2/" @"%, Be an1r', and 'et do not sinH do not let the sun 1o down on 'our an1er, and do not 1i4e the de4il an opportunit'+ (he =reek word translated 6opportunit'7 is topos, meanin1 a 6place7 or 61round+7 -t refers to a Eurisdiction, place of control, or militar' beachhead from which an enem' can launch his operations+ 0learl', unresol4ed an1er in our li4es 1i4es the de4il the opportunit' to oppress us+ (he remainder of ;phesians chapter 2 1i4es us some indications of what the results of that oppression mi1ht be+ (he' include theft, destructi4e words that 1rie4e the Spirit of =od, bitterness, ra1e KthumosL, an1er Kor1eL, clamor Kor brawlin1BN-,L, slander, and malice K4erses "$@ #1L+ -f 'ou ha4e 1i4en the de4il a place in 'our life b' belie4in1 lies or willfull' sinnin1, then 'ou must resol4e

those issues throu1h 1enuine repentance+ Gou must submit to =od and resist the de4il K:ames 2/%L+ (hat is the purpose of the 6Steps to *reedom in 0hrist7 located in the back of this book+ 8nce 'ou ha4e resol4ed 'our personal and spiritual conflicts, then 6the peace of =od, which surpasses all comprehension, will 1uard 'our hearts and 'our minds in 0hrist :esus7 K5hilippians 2/%L+ As we will eCplain in a later chapter, one of the reasons for 1oin1 throu1h the Steps to *reedom is to culti4ate a heart of bein1 6kind to one another, tenderhearted, for1i4in1 each other, Eust as =od in 0hrist also has for1i4en7 us K;phesians 2/#"L+ *or now, let us turn to the onl' 8ne who can enable us to be an1r' and 'et not sin+ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - accept the fact that an1er is an emotion 1i4en b' Gou+ - now realiJe that it is part of bein1 created in Gour ima1e+ - understand that it can moti4ate me to do ri1hteous deeds and establish Eustice or, in m' flesh, turn me toward e4il+ And - am sobered to realiJe that - can open m'self up to demonic attack b' harborin1 an1er in m' heart+ confess to Gou that much of m' an1er is pett', self@ centered, and fleshl'+ <ost times - ha4e not allowed it to be a window into m' soul, but ha4e used it as a hammer to harm others+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness+ 0ontinue to open m' e'es to the true nature of the an1er in m' life+ - want to be like :esus, learnin1 to 6be an1r', 'etQnot sin+7 -n :esusI name pra', amen+

C(A&TER 9 Men! l S!ron$holds *or man' 'ears - ha4e obser4ed that the moralist t'picall' substitutes an1er for perception+ .e hopes that man' people will mistake his irritation for insi1ht+ B<A?S.A)) <0)U.AN :esse was an an1r' man, thou1h if 'ou met him 'ou would not ha4e 1uessed that was his problem+ )ike man' men, he had learned to camoufla1e it effecti4el'+ .e had channeled his an1er into a dri4en work ethic that had ser4ed him well durin1 11 'ears in the N*)+ Nearin1 the end of his career, howe4er, he was almost at the end of his rope+ Dhen - met him, his bod' was hobbled due to inEuries+ Dorse 'et, his famil' life was fallin1 apart and his spiritual life was anemic+ .is ei1ht@'ear@old son spent much of his time in con4ersations with the <i1ht' <orphinI 5ower ?an1ers, and his wife was 4er' bitter+ :esse was a belie4er in 0hrist, but was ha4in1 a lot of trouble connectin1 intimatel' with the )ord+ >espite the hi1h salar' he was makin1, - would not ha4e wanted to spend one da' in his cleats+ - met with :esse on his da' off+ Not findin1 an'thin1 particularl' traumatic in :esseIs past, - be1an to inquire about his relationship with his mom and dad+

.e shru11ed, sa'in1 that he would ha4e liked his dad to ha4e been at home more, but that was about it+ .a4in1 discipled athletes in the past, - knew that some of them had been frustrated with their parentsI nonin4ol4ement in their athletic careers+ - felt led to ask, 6:esse, ha4e 'our parents been in4ol4ed much in 'our football careerM7 (he e'es of this "&!@pound man opened wide with shock+ .e looked like heId been shot with a 1un+ 6(hatIs it,7 he said an1ril'+ 6(hrou1h siC 'ears of Eunior and senior hi1h school, four 'ears in colle1e and ele4en 'ears in the pros, m' parents ha4e ne4er come to one of m' 1amesF7 -nstead of facin1 his an1er, :esse had channeled it into sports+ .is success had helped net him a health' bank account, but also an impo4erished soul+ .e was an insecure and dri4en man+ .e confessed to me that e4en if he cau1ht ten passes in a row, he would be terrified of droppin1 the ele4enth one+ *rustrated and an1r' at his inabilit' to 1ain attention and appro4al from his mom and dad, :esse had subconsciousl' come to 4iew =od as distant and uninterested as well+ - assured him that =od was not like that+ )ookin1 him strai1ht in the e'e with all the compassion - could muster, - said, 6:esse, =od is the *ather 'ou ha4e alwa's needed and wanted, and .e has ne4er missed one of 'our 1amesF7 -n a flood of emotion, :esse be1an to let out "1 'ears of an1er and hurt as he for1a4e his mom and dad+ At one point he retreated to

the neCt room to tr' to re1ain his composure+ :esse had come to understand that he no lon1er had to tr' to perform to impress =od+ =odIs lo4e was and is unconditional+ (hat Sunda' ni1ht - happened to be watchin1 ;S5N, and - saw 4ideo foota1e of :esse catchin1 a touchdown pass+ So - made a telephone call to con1ratulate him+ .is response was that of a man set free from "1 'ears of an1er and dri4enness+ .e said, 6After "! 'ears of pla'in1 football, that was the first 1ame in m' entire life where - enEo'ed m'selfF7 The (#" n Condi!ion (he tra1ed' of unmet needs and the resultin1 an1er and pain, as :esse eCperienced, has been pla'ed out to one de1ree or another in each of the siC billion people on planet ;arth+ But that is not how =od intended it to be+ =od created Adam and ;4e in .is ima1e, and therefore the' had di1nit' K=enesis 1/" @"%L+ (he' had Eo' and intimac' with the )ord as 6=od blessed them7 and spoke to them personall' K1/"$L+ .e also 1enerousl' pro4ided beaut' and pleasure for their enEo'ment K"/9L+ -n addition, Adam and ;4e felt secure in the *atherIs pro4ision of their need for food K1/"9L and companionship K"/1$L+ (he' also felt acceptance from one another, because 6the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed7 K"/"&L+ (he' had nothin1 to hide and nothin1 to co4er up+ *inall', the'

eCperienced a deep sense of si1nificance because =od had 1i4en them dominion o4er all the earth K1/"$LF ;4er' sin1le human need was perfectl' met b' =odIs pro4ision of .imself, human companionship, and the =arden of ;den+ Since there were no unmet needs, no frustrations, no blocked 1oals, and no sense of inEustice, there was no an1er+ Adam and ;4e li4ed in perfect peace with =od and each other+ Suddenl' paradise was shattered+ (he' ate the fruit from the tree of the knowled1e of 1ood and e4il, which =od had eCpressl' forbidden them to do K=enesis "/1%L+ Sin entered into their world when ;4e belie4ed the serpentIs lie that there was somethin1 wonderful to be had outside of =odIs will+ ;4e was decei4ed, and Adam chose to sin K1 (imoth' "/12LH and 6throu1h the one manIs disobedience the man' were made sinners7 K?omans &/19L+ -mmediatel', Adam and ;4e felt fear, shame, and 1uilt+ (he' crudel' co4ered their ph'sical nakedness with fi1 lea4es and foolishl' sou1ht to hide from =odIs presence amon1 the trees of the 1arden K=enesis #/%@ $L+ (he' spirituall' died when their sin separated them from =od+ And the' and their descendants would now ha4e to eCperience e4er' kind of ph'sical and emotional distress that ultimatel' leads to ph'sical death+ Adam and ;4e had entered into this world both

ph'sicall' and spirituall' ali4e+ 5h'sical life Kbios in the =reekL is the union of the soul and spirit with the bod'+ Spiritual life KJoe in the =reekL is the union of the spirit with =od+ =od had warned them that 6in the da' that 'ou eat from Othe fruit of the tree of the knowled1e of 1ood and e4ilP 'ou will surel' die7 K=enesis "/1%L+ >id Adam and ;4e die ph'sicall' on the da' the' ateM No, the' remained ph'sicall' ali4e for hundreds of 'ears, althou1h ph'sical death would ultimatel' be a consequence of their sin as well+ .owe4er, the' did die spirituall' the moment the' sinned+ (heir spirits were no lon1er in union with =od+ (hatIs wh' the' felt such alienation from the 8ne who had been their closest *riend Eust minutes beforeF As a result of their sin, we ha4e all entered this world ph'sicall' ali4e but spirituall' dead+ Since in our ph'sical life we are all descendants of Adam, 'ou could sa' that apart from 0hrist we are all part of the 6AdamIs *amil'+7 De are in Adam K1 0orinthians 1&/""L+ 5aulIs words in ;phesians "/1@# pro4ide a precise and accurate description of our condition apart from 0hrist/ Gou were dead in 'our trespasses and sins, in which 'ou formerl' walked accordin1 to the course of this world, accordin1 to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now workin1 in the sons of disobedience+ Amon1 them we too all formerl' li4ed in the lusts of our flesh, indul1in1 the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were b' nature children of wrath, e4en as the rest+

The For" !ion o/ 6Men! l S!ron$holds7 Apart from 0hrist, we are people dominated b' the world, the flesh, and the de4il+ Dithout 0hrist, our bod' can ph'sicall' function in union with our soul Kour intellect, emotions, and willL, but we are spirituall' dead, cut off from =od+ .a4in1 neither the presence of =od in our li4es nor the knowled1e of .is wa's, we learn to li4e our li4es independent of =od+ >urin1 the earl' and formati4e 'ears of our li4es we de4elop mental stron1holds, which are similar to what ps'cholo1ists call defense mechanisms+ 8thers ha4e called them flesh patterns+ De ha4e to learn how to cope, succeed, and sur4i4e with onl' our own limited stren1ths and resources+ (he attitudes we form about oursel4es and the world around us are assimilated from the en4ironment in which we are raised+ <ost of this assimilation comes throu1h our pre4ailin1 eCperiences in the homes we are raised in, the schools we 1o to, the friends we choose, the church we attend or donIt attend+ K-t is important to realiJe that two children can be raised in essentiall' the same en4ironment but can choose to respond differentl'+ ;4en at the earliest a1es we choose to e4aluate our eCperiences and respond accordin1l'+L Stron1holds are also formed throu1h traumatic eCperiences such as a death in the home, the separation or di4orce of parents, or abuse b' others+ (hese dama1in1 eCperiences are burned into our

minds, causin1 us to ha4e stron1 feelin1s and attitudes toward =od, others, and oursel4es+ (hese deepl' imbedded emotions from the past can be tri11ered b' present e4ents+ *or instance, if 'ou were deepl' wounded earlier in life, and 'ou now see another person bein1 treated in the same wa' 'ou were, 'ou are probabl' 1oin1 to react an1ril'+ .owe4er, childhood traumas are not what keeps us in bonda1e to our past+ ?ather, we are in bonda1e to the lies we ha4e belie4ed as a result of the trauma+ (hat is wh' truth sets us free+ At the time of the trauma, 'ou mentall' processed what was happenin1 and chose how 'ou were 1oin1 to respond to it+ (his mental action established a belief about people and the world 'ou li4e in, such as 6=od doesnIt lo4e me7H 6-Im no 1ood7H 6- can ne4er trust an'one7H 6All men are per4erts7H 6- ha4e to be self@sufficient7H and so on+ )ittle children are especiall' 4ulnerable to fault' processin1 of traumatic e4ents+ -ma1ine a dad comin1 home from work and an1ril' beatin1 his son for not cleanin1 his room+ Dhat messa1e will be 1oin1 throu1h that little bo'Is mindM .e will not be thinkin1, 6Bo', dad reall' needs help for his an1er problem+7 -nstead he will tell himself, 6(here must reall' be somethin1 wron1 with me+7 (hat kind of destructi4e messa1e can lod1e deep in a childIs heart, becomin1 an unconscious dri4in1 mechanism e4en into adulthood+ -n order to sur4i4e with such ne1ati4e beliefs, people

adopt certain wa's of defendin1 themsel4es, such as l'in1, blamin1, den'in1, rationaliJin1, withdrawin1, fi1htin1, and so on+ <an' will hold on to their an1er, which the' falsel' belie4e will protect them from further abuse+ Li/e in !he Flesh De simpl' cannot re1ain b' our own human effort what was lost in paradiseBdi1nit', Eo', intimac', securit', acceptance, and si1nificance+ -n realit', that is tr'in1 to find life apart from )ife .imself, the )ord :esus+ ;4en our best efforts at self@reformation will fail, and we will remain a product of our past+ ;4en our most noble efforts at life apart from 0hrist will be hopelessl' tainted b' our own sin, because we are separated from =od+ -f that makes 'ou an1r', then consider 5aulIs words in (itus 1/1&@1 / (o the pure, all thin1s are pureH but to those who are defiled and unbelie4in1, nothin1 is pureH but both their mind and their conscience are defiled+ (he' profess to know =od, but b' their deeds the' den' .im, bein1 detestable and disobedient and worthless for an' 1ood deed+ Apart from 0hrist, we ha4e no choice but to li4e accordin1 to our own flesh+ Ste4e <c,e', in his eCcellent book =race Dalk, puts it this wa'/ De ha4e all learned to rel' on our own strate1ies for 1ettin1 our needs met+ (he Bible calls this mechanism

for ser4icin1 our own needs the flesh+ ;4er' person has de4eloped his flesh@life in order to 1et what he wants out of life as much of the time as possible+ >onIt think of flesh as skin, but as personal techniques for meetin1 'our own percei4ed needs, apart from 0hrist+ QDalkin1 after the flesh is simpl' rel'in1 on 'our own abilit' instead of on =odIs resources+1 Althou1h there is ne4er an' eCcuse for li4in1 in sin and selfishness, the truth of the matter is that someone who reEects 0hrist has no other alternati4eF .e or she must cope somehow in the flesh or 1i4e up on life+ (he followin1 stor' is a 4i4id eCample of the an1r', self@ protecti4e life of the flesh+ - 1rew up with a ra1e@aholic father+ (here was constant tension, 4erbal abuse, and an1er eCpressed freel', throu1hout m' childhood+ Not onl' b' m' parents but b' me as well+ - did not realiJe there was an'thin1 wron1 with this t'pe of lifest'le because it was all that had been modeled to me b' the adults in m' life+ (hrou1h counselin1 - came to understand that Bbein1 raised in a d'sfunctional homeB- had de4eloped wron1 patterns of li4in1+ - came to realiJe that - had adapted to the an1er and ra1e around me b' formin1 m' own d'sfunctional copin1 mechanisms+ - had built stron1 walls of protection around me, had a tou1h countenance and hard eCterior+ - would onl' let certain people 6in7 and - was 4er' 1uarded around people because it was 4er' difficult for me to trust an'one+ - disco4ered that m' 6safe7 emotion was an1er, so e4er' emotion - eCperienced was eCpressed

in an1er of some sort+ - was also 4er' codependent, insecure, and performance@oriented, - feared reEection, cra4ed appro4al and affirmation, was a perfectionist, and feared failure and disappointment+ All of these areas were manifestations of the internaliJed an1er had eCperienced 1rowin1 up+ Sel/ish !o !he Core (his 6birth defect7 of life in the flesh that is inherent in all of us is sinful and idolatrous to its 4er' core+ -t is sinful because the essence of sin is li4in1 life independent of =odIs presence and power, tr'in1 our le4el best to milk all the lo4e, life, libert', and pursuit of happiness we can out of the world, rather than trustin1 =od as our Source+ And it is idolatrous because it places somethin1 other than =odBthat is, ourselfBat the center of our life+ (he apostle 5aul cuts to the heart of this con1enital problem in ?omans $/&@$/ (hose who are accordin1 to the flesh set their minds on the thin1s of the flesh, but those who are accordin1 to the Spirit, the thin1s of the Spirit+ *or the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward =odH for it does not subEect itself to the law of =od, for it is not e4en able to do soH and those who are in the flesh cannot please =od+ Because the fleshIs entire purpose for eCistence is to

preser4e, protect, and pro4ide for the sinful self, it is b' nature selfish+ Self@protecti4e, demandin1, self@reliant, controllin1, self@ser4in1, and self@promotin1, the flesh eCperiences the almost continual threat of an1r' conflict with others+ Dh'M Because one selfish, fleshl' person is 1oin1 to be in conflict with e4er' other selfish, fleshl' person he or she encounters+ An1r' interactions are una4oidable if - am tr'in1 to 1et m' own needs met m' wa' and 'ou stand in m' wa' Kor 4ice 4ersaL+ (he apostle :ames 1i4es this eCplanation/ Dhat is the source of quarrels and conflicts amon1 'ouM -s not the source 'our pleasures that wa1e war in 'our membersM Gou lust and do not ha4eH so 'ou commit murder+ Gou are en4ious and cannot obtainH so 'ou fi1ht and quarrel+ Gou do not ha4e because 'ou do not ask+ Gou ask and do not recei4e, because 'ou ask with wron1 moti4es, so that 'ou ma' spend it on 'our pleasures K:ames 2/1@#L+ We-re No Lon$er &rod#c! o/ O#r & s!

A person without 0hrist can li4e onl' accordin1 to his or her own fleshl' nature+ But as children of =od, we ha4e eCperienced a miraculous transformation+ 5aul eCplained this in " 0orinthians &/1%, 6-f an'one is in 0hrist, he is a new creationH old thin1s ha4e passed awa'H behold, all thin1s ha4e become new7 KN9:,L+ As belie4ers we are no lon1er simpl' a product of our past+ De are now primaril' a product of the work of 0hrist on the cross, and throu1h .is resurrection we ha4e new life in .im+ Because of this transformation,

we can and should no lon1er li4e for oursel4es, but for .im who died and rose a1ain for us K" 0orinthians &/1&L+ De are now the temple of the .ol' Spirit, who li4es in us and who wants to empower us to walk in the newness of life that we ha4e in 0hrist K1 0orinthians /19H ?omans /2H $/1#L+ (hen wh' do - as a new belie4er still think and feel much the same as - did before sal4ation, and wh' do still stru11le with a lot of the same an1er and bitternessM Because e4er'thin1 that was pro1rammed into m' mind before sal4ation is still there+ =od did not create our mental computers with an automatic 6clear7 or 6delete7 button+ (hat is wh' 5aul wrote in ?omans 1"/", 6>o not be conformed to this world, but be transformed b' the renewin1 of 'our mind, so that 'ou ma' pro4e what the will of =od is, that which is 1ood and acceptable and perfect+7 As belie4ers we can continue to be conformed to this world if we keep doin1 what we ha4e alwa's done+ But now that we are in 0hrist, we ha4e the mind of 0hrist within us K1 0orinthians "/1 L, and the .ol' Spirit will lead us into all truth+ (his doesnIt happen instantl', but as we allow our minds to be renewed b' the truth of =odIs word, we will see mental stron1holds and defense mechanisms fade awa'+ Good Ne)s3in Chris! 5erhaps 'ou are readin1 this book and the Spirit of =od is makin1 it clear to 'ou that 'ou ha4e ne4er humbled 'ourself and recei4ed :esus 0hrist as 'our

Sa4ior and )ord+ (o 'ou, this talk about a 6new life7 in 0hrist sounds 1ood, e4en 1reat, but in all honest' it is forei1n to 'our eCperience+ (o be blunt, 'ou ha4e li4ed 'our life first and foremost for 'ourself+ Gou ha4e been 'our own 1od, and 'ou ha4e become an1r' with other people because the' ha4e refused to treat 'ou in the wa' 'ou felt 'ou deser4ed+ K-t is a small step from worshipin1 'ourself to eCpectin1 others to pa' homa1e as well+L Are 'our efforts to Eustif' 'our an1er bein1 eCposed for what the' areM Are 'ou aware that what seemed to be a normal life is not normal at all in =odIs e'esM .a4e 'ou eCisted b' 'our own stren1th and resources, for 'our own 1ain, and thus dama1ed others and hurt 'ourself as wellM Dorst of all, ha4e 'ou offended =od, the .ol' 8neM Are 'ou seein1 that 'ou ha4e ne4er eCperienced a new, abundant life in 0hristM Are 'ou tired of bein1 controlled b' sinful thou1hts, feelin1s, and actionsM >o 'ou honestl' and sincerel' want outM -f that is the spiritual state in which 'ou find 'ourself toda', then weI4e 1ot 1ood news+ -n fact, thatIs what the word 61ospel7 means+ =ood newsF (he hol' =od who created 'ou also lo4es 'ou deepl' and wants to be1in a relationship with 'ou throu1h .is Son, :esus 0hrist+ But first 'ou must realiJe and admit that sin has separated 'ou from =od, as -saiah &9/1@" sa's/

Behold, the )8?>Is hand is not so short that it cannot sa4eH nor is .is ear so dull that it cannot hear+ But 'our iniquities ha4e made a separation between 'ou and 'our =od, and 'our sins ha4e hidden .is face from 'ou so that .e does not hear+ -n the 8ld (estament, the word iniquit' means 6per4ersit' or moral e4il+7" -n the New (estament, the word means 6inEustice, dishonest' or lawlessness+7# ;4er' an1r', cruel word, hateful attitude, or 4en1eful act is iniquit', and iniquit' has separated us from the lo4e of =od+ But =od, knowin1 our sinful state and desirin1 to reconcile us to .imself, took the most lo4in1 action possible+ .e sacrificed .is Son, the )ord :esus, and poured out .is an1er upon .im rather than upon us+ (he prophet -saiah also told us about =odIs cure for our sin and iniquit' that would be pro4ided throu1h the comin1 <essiah when he wrote these words/ Surel' our 1riefs .e .imself bore, and our sorrows .e carriedH 'et we oursel4es esteemed .im stricken, smitten of =od, and afflicted+ But .e was pierced throu1h for our trans1ressions, .e was crushed for our iniquitiesH the chastenin1 for our well@bein1 fell upon .im, and b' .is scour1in1 we are healed+ All of us like sheep ha4e 1one astra', each of us has turned to his own wa'H but the )8?> has caused the iniquit' of us all to fall on .im K-saiah &#/2@ L+

No) Is !he Ti"e (oda' is the acceptable da', the Bible sa's+ (oda' is the da' of sal4ation K" 0orinthians /"L+ (oda', if 'ou hear =odIs 4oice, donIt harden 'our heart K.ebrews #/1&LF (he )ord :esus 0hrist, 6hol', innocent, undefiled, separated from sinners and eCalted abo4e the hea4ens7 K.ebrews %/" L, literall' became sin for us 6so that we mi1ht become the ri1hteousness of =od in .im7 K" 0orinthians &/"1L+ Are 'ou willin1 to make the 1reat eCchan1eB'our sin for 0hristIs ri1hteousnessM Dill 'ou recei4e the free 1ift of =od, which is eternal life in 0hrist :esus our )ord, or will 'ou continue to suffer the wa1es of sin, which is death K?omans /"#LM -f 'our heart is hun1r' for =od and for the for1i4eness, ri1hteousness, and new life that onl' come from .im, then we encoura1e 'ou to pra' with us+ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - ha4e sinned a1ainst Gou+ ha4e li4ed for m'self b' m'self, and in so doin1 - ha4e been controlled b' m' flesh+ - ha4e hurt others and offended Gou+ - now repent and turn awa' from this life of sin, and - open m' heart to Gour Son, the )ord :esus 0hrist+ (hank Gou that .e took all the punishment for m' sin and shed .is precious blood on the cross for m' for1i4eness+ And because .e rose from the dead, - can now eCperience a new lifeB.is life in me+ - recei4e Gou, )ord :esus, as m' Sa4ior and )ord, not on the basis of an' 1ood deeds or actions that - ha4e done, but as a free and undeser4ed 1ift of

Gour 1race+ (hank Gou, :esus, for makin1 me a child of =od and a new creation in Gou+ -n Gour name - pra', amen+ The &rocess o/ Tr ns/or" !ion As belie4ers in 0hrist, we now ha4e the 4er' power of =od within us to enable us to walk in a manner worth' of our callin1 K;phesians 2/1L+ Dhen the apostle 5aul wrote, 6Now to .im who is able to do far more abundantl' be'ond all that we ask or think, accordin1 to the power that works within us,7 he was describin1 that power+ >o 'ou doubt =odIs capacit' to chan1e 'ouM Are 'ou skeptical that the an1er in 'our heart or in the hearts of those 'ou know and lo4e can e4er be transformed into patience, 1entleness, and kindnessM (ake coura1eF (he 1reatest transformations that we can ima1ine merel' scratch the surface of what =od can do in .is powerF Some people will find a miraculous deli4erance from the power of controllin1 an1er and ra1e at the moment of sal4ation+ Dith most belie4ers in 0hrist, howe4er, it will take time for their minds to be renewedH it will take time for them to learn to o4ercome their flesh throu1h walkin1 b' the Spirit+ But bonda1e to an1er need not and should not follow us to the 1ra4e+ Second 0orinthians 1!/#@& ou1ht to be a 1reat source of hope to e4er' 0hristian stru11lin1 with controllin1 an1er/

(hou1h we walk in the flesh, we do not war accordin1 to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but di4inel' powerful for the destruction of fortresses+ De are destro'in1 speculations and e4er' loft' thin1 raised up a1ainst the knowled1e of =od, and we are takin1 e4er' thou1ht capti4e to the obedience of 0hrist+ Ano!her Loo* ! Men! l S!ron$holds As we talked about earlier in this chapter, the 6fortresses,7 or mental stron1holds, that 5aul writes about are deepl' in1rained patterns of belief that cause us to react emotionall' and beha4iorall' contrar' to =odIs will and Dord+ (he' are mental habit patterns of thou1htBflesh patternsBburned into our minds o4er time or b' the intensit' of traumatic eCperiences+ *eelin1 and actin1 in accordance with these memor' traces is like dri4in1 a truck in a pasture alon1 the same route for man' 'ears+ Gou wonIt e4en ha4e to steer the truck after awhile because deep ruts ha4e been madeBand an' attempt to steer out of the ruts will be met with resistance+ -n the book *reedom from Addiction, which <ike and :ulia Uuarles coauthored with Neil, <ike eCplains how a stron1hold of an1er formed earl' in his life+ <ikeIs father was a ra1in1, abusi4e alcoholic, and his mother was eCtremel' o4erprotecti4e+ .ereIs a part of <ikeIs stor'/

As a child, - didnIt introduce m'self b' sa'in1 6.i, -Im <ike Uuarles+ -Im unaccepted, inadequate, insecure and 1uilt'+ Somethin1 is wron1 with me+7 -n the recesses of m' soul, howe4er, those feelin1s were there+ )ike e4er'one, - lon1ed to ha4e m' basic needs of lo4e, acceptance and appro4al met+ - de4eloped m' own patterns in how to deal with life, sol4e m' problems, become a successful person and meet m' needs+ - donIt remember an' lo4e between m' mom and dad+ -n the house the' fou1ht 4iolentl' in an on1oin1 war+ Scattered into the ar1uments were a few moments of peace and calmness+ Se4eral times m' dad turned o4er the kitchen table, scatterin1 food across our floor and breakin1 dishes+ - could not brin1 m' friends home to such a miserable situation+ Usin1 an' eCcuse, - sta'ed awa' from home as much as possible+ -n some of m' most 4i4id childhood memories, remember l'in1 in bed at ni1ht and listenin1 to m' mom and dad in one of their 4iolent ar1uments+ 8nce m' dad chased e4er'one out of the house with a loaded shot1un+ - li4ed in fear that one mornin1 would find one of m' parents had killed the other one+ (oda' as - look back, -Im con4inced itIs a miracle no one died a 4iolent death+ <' brother is two 'ears 'oun1er and m' sister four 'ears 'oun1er than - am+ As children, we responded to our home life in a predictable manner+ As the oldest, - learned to fi1ht and rebel a1ainst our alcoholic father and his abusi4e authorit'+ <' brother became the people pleaser and

did an'thin1 to placate >ad+ <' sister learned to withdraw, hide and sta' out of the wa'+ 8f course, we adopted these same patterns for dealin1 with stress in our adult li4es+2 God-s &o)er ! Wor* (he 1ood news is that no matter how stron1 these fortresses ma' be, =odIs power is 1reater+ De can indeed watch the stubborn 6walls of :ericho7 in our own souls come crashin1 down+ 5arts of our personalit' that we thou1ht would not and could not e4er chan1e can be trul' transformed b' the power of 0hrist+ -n .im, the person ensla4ed to an1er and ra1e can find the power to steer out of those ruts and instead be 1uided 6in the paths of ri1hteousness for .is nameIs sake7 K5salm "#/#L+ <ike Uuarles found his freedom in 0hrist, and he is no lon1er an an1r', dri4en man+ -t is now his pri4ile1e and ours to help others find their freedom in 0hrist and to show them from the Scriptures how 0hrist can meet our needs for acceptance, securit', and si1nificance, as follows/ In Chris! I " Acce%!ed T - am =odVs child W :ohn 1/1" T As a disciple, - am a friend of :esus 0hrist W :ohn 1&/1&

T - ha4e been Eustified W ?omans &/1 T - am united with the )ord, and - am one with .im in spirit W 1 0orin+ /1% T - ha4e been bou1ht with a price, and - belon1 to =od W 1 0orin+ /19@"! T - am a member of 0hristVs bod' W 1 0orin+ 1"/"% T - ha4e been chosen b' =od and adopted as .is child W ;phesians 1/#@$ T - ha4e been redeemed and for1i4en of all m' sins W 0olossians 1/1#@12 T - am complete in 0hrist W 0olossians "/9@1! T - ha4e direct access to the throne of 1race throu1h :esus 0hrist W .ebrews 2/12@1 I " co"%le!e in Chris! I " sec#re' T - am free from condemnation W ?omans $/1@" T - am assured that =od works for m' 1ood in all circumstances W ?omans $/"$ T - am free from an' condemnation brou1ht a1ainst me, and - cannot be separated from the lo4e of =od W

?omans $/#1@#9 T - ha4e been established, anointed, and sealed b' =od W " 0orin+ 1/"1@"" T - am hidden with 0hrist in =od W 0olossians #/1@2 T - am confident that =od will complete the 1ood work .e started in me W 5hilippians 1/ T - am a citiJen of .ea4en W 5hilippians #/"! T - ha4e not been 1i4en the spirit of fear but of power, lo4e, and a sound mind W " (imoth' 1/% T - am born of =od, and the e4il one cannot touch me W 1 :ohn &/1$ In Chris! I ( ,e &#r%ose I A" Si$ni/ic n!' T - am the branch of :esus 0hrist, the true 4ine, and a channel of .is life W :ohn 1&/& T - ha4e been chosen and appointed to bear fruit W :ohn 1&/1 T - am =odVs temple W 1 0orin+ #/1 T - am a minister of reconciliation for =od W " 0orin+&/1%@"1

T - am seated with :esus 0hrist in the hea4enl' realm W ;phesians "/ T - am =odVs workmanship W ;phesians "/1! T - ma' approach =od with freedom and confidence W ;phesians #/1" T - can do all thin1s throu1h 0hrist, who stren1thens me W 5hilippians 2/1# Le!-s %r y !o$e!her' >ear hea4enl' *ather, - need Gour power to destro' the fortresses of an1er and ra1e in m' life+ - want to li4e out the truth of m' new identit' in 0hrist, but there are these 6walled cities7 in m' soul+ (oo often - hide in these places, and that keeps me from knowin1 Gou as m' 6rock and m' fortress and m' deli4erer7 K5salm 1$/"L+ - retreat back into these false fortresses and tr' to defend m'self rather than lettin1 Gou be m' >efender+ (hank Gou for Gour patience, Gour for1i4eness, and Gour unconditional lo4e+ 5lease open m' e'es to the specific stron1holds of an1er in m' life and to the lies that keep those 6walls7 up+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+

C(A&TER : Flesh & !!erns o/ An$er An'one can become an1r'+ (hat is eas'+ But to be an1r' with the ri1ht person, to the ri1ht de1ree, at the ri1ht time, for the ri1ht purpose and in the ri1ht wa'B that is not eas'+ BA?-S(8(); ;4an1elist >+)+ <ood', the 6Bill' =raham7 of the nineteenth centur', had a sharp temper that he learned to controlBusuall'+ 8ne e4enin1 <ood' was conductin1 two e4an1elistic ser4ices back@to@back+ After the first ser4ice, as <r+ <ood' was standin1 near the door welcomin1 the new crowd, a man approached him and deli4ered a hi1hl' offensi4e insult of some sort+ <ood' ne4er told what the insult was, but it must ha4e been contemptible, for in a sudden fit of an1er, <ood' sho4ed the man and sent him tumblin1 down a short fli1ht of steps+ (he man was not badl' harmed, but <ood'Is friends wondered how the e4an1elist could now possibl' preach at the second ser4ice+ 6Dhen - saw <ood' 1i4e wa' to his temper,7 said one obser4er, 6- said to m'self, R(he meetin1 is killed+I (he lar1e number who ha4e seen the whole thin1 will hardl' be in condition to be influenced b' an'thin1 more <r+ <ood' can sa' toni1ht+7

But <ood' stood up, called the meetin1 to order, and with tremblin1 4oice spoke these words/ 6*riends, before be1innin1 toni1ht - want to confess that 'ielded Eust now to m' temper, out in the hall, and ha4e done wron1+ :ust as - was comin1 in here toni1ht, - lost m' temper with a man, and - want to confess m' wron1 before 'ou all, and if that man is present here whom - thrust awa' from me in an1er, want to ask his for1i4eness and =odIs+ )et us pra'+7 -nstead of bein1 a lost cause, the meetin1 seemed unusuall' touched that ni1ht, with man' people deepl' and eternall' impressed with the =ospel+1 De ha4e all de4eloped one or more flesh patterns, or stron1holds, of an1er+ De ma' be aware of what our patterns are, and we ma' be findin1 1reat success in o4ercomin1 those aspects of the flesh throu1h the liberatin1 power of the Spirit, as <ood' did that ni1ht+ 8n the other hand, we ma' not be aware of our own flesh patterns and therefore ha4e done little to o4ercome them+ <an' people in this condition Eust assume that this is the wa' the' areBand others are Eust 1oin1 to ha4e to li4e with it as the' ha4e learned to li4e with it+ 8r we ma' be somewhere in the middle Buncomfortable with how we mana1e our an1er, but lackin1 the insi1ht to do an'thin1 about it+ Before we can eCperience the transformin1 power of =od in the tearin1 down of stron1holds, we need to understand what our own flesh patterns of an1er are+ -n this chapter we will eCamine some of the more common manifestations of fleshl' an1er, with the

desire that it will pro4ide a helpful window into 'our soul+ The An$er A,oider ?on and 5at 5otter@;fron describe the first an1er personalit' t'pe we want to look at+ An1er a4oiders donIt like an1er much+ Some a4oiders are afraid of their an1er, or the an1er of others+ An1er seems too scar' to touch+ (he'Ire scared of losin1 control if the' 1et mad, of lettin1 out the monster inside of them+ 8ther a4oiders think that itIs bad to be an1r'+ (he'I4e learned sa'in1s like 68nl' do1s 1et mad7 and 6Be nice, donIt be an1r'+7 (he' hide from their an1er because the' want to be liked+" 5eople who are an1er a4oiders tr' to keep the peace at all costs+ (he' want to be known as 6nice7 people+ (he' feel 4er' uncomfortable around an1er and so will accommodate and appease whene4er possible+ Dhen thatIs not possible, the' will withdraw in fear+ -t is possible for a person to be so well@trained in a4oidin1 and suppressin1 an1er that such a person 1enuinel' belie4es he or she simpl' has no an1er+ Such was the case with a dear friend of ours+ .e wrote of himself, After m' wife passed awa' and - was in counselin1, was asked the question, 6.ow much an1er did 'ou ha4eM7 - answered, 6None+7 6Gou donIt ha4e an' an1erM7 was the neCt question+ 6No, - donIt ha4e an' an1er,7 was m' repl'+ 6Dell, how did it make 'ou feelM7

6- felt hurt, but - didnIt ha4e an' an1erF7 (he' immediatel' went on to eCplain that if - felt hurt, then had an1er+ (he' eCplained that when people feel hurt, the' ha4e an1er+ But - kept insistin1, 6No, - donIt feel an1r'+7 (hen the' chan1ed their questions/ 6>o 'ou e4er lose 'our temperM76NoF76.ow do 'ou feel about others 1ettin1 an1r' and losin1 their temperM7 6- donIt appreciate it+7 6.ow do 'ou feel about 0hristians 1ettin1 an1r'M7 6- donIt belie4e the' shouldF7 After some time the' eCplained to me that - was stuffin1 m' an1er+ - had it but was Eust not acknowled1in1 it+ (he' pointed out that since - didnIt belie4e in 0hristians bein1 an1r', - Eust kept den'in1 mine and keepin1 the lid on itH and thatIs wh' - didnIt feel it+ - reall' didnIt belie4e that - had an1er+ (his man, who had ser4ed as a pastor for decades, finall' understood how far out of touch with his emotions he had become+ -n a fleshl' effort to sta' 6in control,7 he had slammed the door shut on his emotional life+ Sadl', this man who had belie4ed the lie that he had to be in control, had himself become controlled b' the lie+ .e was in bonda1e to his own emotional denial+ .is 6after7 testimon' is refreshin1 and instructi4e/ Since - ha4e acknowled1ed m' emotions and ha4e allowed m'self to accept how - feel, - am enEo'in1 so man' 1ood feelin1s of Eo'+ After the' eCplained thin1s to me, - came to see that when - stuffed m' bad feelin1s - also stuffed m' 1ood ones+ -tIs so freein1 to be m'self and eCperience the Eo' of walkin1 in who -

am in 0hristBthat - can ha4e normal emotions, Eust like :esus did when .e li4ed upon earth+ De ha4e seen eCtreme cases where ritual@abuse 4ictims ha4e been unable to eCpress an' emotions at allBincludin1 an1er+ (hese 6Jero@affect,7 or 6flat@ affect,7 indi4iduals ha4e been pro1rammed to belie4e that if the' eCpress how the' feel Kcr', 1et an1r'L, the' or someone else will be hurt+ (he' ma' ha4e seen or eCperienced horrible torture when emotion was eCpressed, so their fear was once based in realit'+ As in all cases of bonda1e, such an indi4idual must renounce the lies that he or she has belie4ed, and choose the truth+ De will thorou1hl' eCamine this critical principle of freedom later in the book+ Suffice it to sa' for now that in these cases, it will be necessar' for the one in bonda1e to 4erball' eCercise his or her authorit' in 0hrist+ Statements such as, 6- renounce the lie that - am not an1r', but - declare that - am free to be an1r' and not sin7 or 6- renounce the lie that if show an1er or an' other emotion, - or someone - lo4e will be hurt or killed7 can be immensel' powerful and liberatin1+ Are 'ou an an1er a4oiderM .a4e 'ou felt 1uilt' when 'ou ha4e eCperienced e4en a twin1e of an1erM .a4e 'ou belie4ed that 1ood 0hristians donIt 1et an1r'M .a4e 'ou been an1r' with 'ourself for not bein1 asserti4e enou1hM -n the past, ha4e 'ou hun1 up the phone and kicked 'ourself internall' for pled1in1 mone' to a cause 'ou reall' had no interest in

supportin1M .a4e 'ou beat 'ourself up inside for lettin1 a more powerful personalit' persuade 'ou to take on another task that 'ou knew 'ou had neither the time nor ener1' to tackleM ?ealiJe that an1er a4oidance is a fleshl' means of copin1 with the fear of an1er, confrontation, disappro4al, and reEection+ -f the )ord is openin1 up 'our e'es to this realit', donIt 1et discoura1edF :esus can set 'ou free to 6be an1r' and 'etQ not sin7 K;phesians 2/" L+ An$er E;%loders At the other end of the an1er spectrum are the an1er eCploders+ Since those who eCpress an1er too freel' are capable of doin1 1reat dama1e to others, we need to eCamine this 6st'le7 of the flesh in depth+ De be1in with a personal stor'+ - am currentl' workin1 throu1h the *reedom in 0hrist series with m' pastor in a church con1re1ational settin1+ Deekl' - feel the bonda1e bein1 broken and freedom settlin1 in+ - ha4e alwa's been a little bullheaded and am tempted to an1er easil'+ <' an1er usuall' comes suddenl'Qand fiercel'Qscarin1 e4en me at times+ Usuall' it is stress@oriented and a culmination of e4ents that - hold within me until that last little insi1nificant incident li1hts the 4er' short fuse+ Dhen the smoke clears - am left feelin1 desolate and humiliated+

- ha4e tried desperatel' for 'ears to control this an1er but at best ha4e onl' learned to a4oid stressful situations, and e4en that is not 1reat+ - would be so happ' to be trul' free from these fits of ra1e once and for all+ - would lo4e to know how to deal with an1er the wa' 0hrist would ha4e me to+ -t reall' wrecks m' witness when - 1o off into rantin1s, and - end up tearful before the )ord when the' do come+ 5lease help meQ - would trul' lo4e to be free from an1er+ An1er eCploders are like acti4e 4olcanoes+ (here is alwa's the threat of an eruption+ -f the' had a seismo1raph attached to their emotions, the' would find that continual tremors were takin1 place+ (he' li4e in a continual state of a1itation+ Dhereas calm people will normall' be at a ! or 1 on a 1@to@1! an1er scale, an1er eCploders wake up in the mornin1 re1isterin1 or %+ (he' are alread' an1r'F (hatIs wh' the' erupt in an1er at the sli1htest pro4ocation+ (he' donIt need to warm up to an1er like most peopleH the' are alread' hotF Dh' is thatM (here can be a 4ariet' of reasons, both internal and eCternal+ DeIll look at the en4ironmental reasons wh' our nation is such a hotbed for an1er in chapter 1!+ -tIs true that we li4e in a stressful societ', but stress alone is not the problem+ Do"in n! Le ders 8ne reason that some people eCplode in an1er is that, internall', the' ha4e hard@core t'pe A personalities+

Gears a1o, ps'cholo1ist Dilliam <arston identified four beha4ioral st'les into one of which he belie4ed all people fall+ :ohn =eier and >oroth' >owne' refined <arstonIs model and de4eloped the >iS0 test+ (his >iS0 model identifies people as fallin1 into one of these four cate1ories/ dominant K>L, influencin1 KiL, stead' KSL, and compliant K0L+# -n their book Understandin1 .ow 8thers <isunderstand Gou, 9en ,o1es and ?on Braund describe the dominant personalit'/ Because of the .i1h > personIs concentration on tasks and 1oals, he has a tendenc' to be insensiti4e to the feelin1s of others+ ?arel' is this deliberate ne1lect, but the intensit' with which he stri4es to meet his obEecti4es can cause him to consider emotional eCpressions as obstacles+ (he .i1h > person is prone to see life as a battle durin1 which an' walls in his wa' must be torn down+ Unfortunatel', that approach is likel' to result in emotional casualties alon1 the wa'+2 .i1h >Is can become eCcellent leaders, like :oshua in the Bible, who o4ercame 1reat obstacles in possessin1 the 5romised )and+ Dith the ri1ht talent, the' can become 1reat athletes and coaches as well, bein1 determined and stron1l' moti4ated b' competition+ But the same competiti4e fire that fuels a passionate Bill <c0artne' in the Spirit can also produce an an1r' Bobb' 9ni1ht in the flesh+ Bill <c0artne' left a successful football coachin1 career at the Uni4ersit' of 0olorado to found the 5romise

9eepers+ Bobb' 9ni1ht was fired from a successful basketball coachin1 career at -ndiana Uni4ersit' because he could not control his eCplosi4e temper+ (hose who score hi1h on the dominant scale are usuall' task@oriented leaders who are hi1hl' moti4ated to accomplish their 1oals+ (he apostle 5aul would probabl' fit into this cate1or'+ 5aul describes his own dri4enness before his con4ersion in Acts " /9@11/ - thou1ht to m'self that - had to do man' thin1s hostile to the name of :esus of NaJareth+ And this is Eust what - did in :erusalemH not onl' did - lock up man' of the saints in prisons, ha4in1 recei4ed authorit' from the chief priests, but also when the' were bein1 put to death - cast m' 4ote a1ainst them+ And as - punished them often in all the s'na1o1ues, - tried to force them to blasphemeH and bein1 furiousl' enra1ed at them, kept pursuin1 them e4en to forei1n cities+ Direc!or or Dic! !or. An1er eCploders must admit to themsel4es that bein1 competiti4e, determined, 1oal@setters does not 1i4e them license to an1ril' control or trample people+ =od is interested in accomplishin1 tasks, but ne4er at the eCpense of people+ :ames admonishes the impatient person, 6<' dear brothers, take note of this/ ;4er'one should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become an1r', for manIs an1er does not brin1 about the ri1hteous life that =od desires7 K:ames 1/19@"! N-,L+

A 'ear after Shirle' and - K?ichL were married, we mo4ed to <anila in the 5hilippines to o4ersee a new ministr' to hi1h@school students+ 8ur dauntin1 first task was to send follow@up material to o4er &",!!! students who had recei4ed 0hrist or indicated spiritual interestF - immediatel' shifted from director to dictator+ - dro4e m'self, m' wife, and m' *ilipino staff hard Kand nearl' craJ'L+ - was impatient and insensiti4e, lashin1 out whene4er the' were unable or unwillin1 to perform up to m' standards+ - stepped on quite a few toes as crusaded forward in m' pursuit to finish the follow@up and establishin1 model ministries around the cit'+ 8ne da' - was readin1 in 1 0orinthians 1#, and the )ord ri4eted m' attention to 4erse 1#, 6But now abide faith, hope, lo4e, these threeH but the 1reatest of these is lo4e+7 - sensed the )ord speakin1 to m' mind and sa'in1, 6?ich, if someone were to look at 'our life, the' would sa' that 'ou belie4ed the 1reatest of these is faith+7 Now of course we are sa4ed b' faith, and we walk b' faithBand without faith itIs impossible to please =od+ (his illustration in no wa' diminishes faithIs importance to the 0hristian life+ But - knew what the )ord was sa'in1+ -n an effort to reach m' 1oals, - was usin1, not lo4in1, people+ - broke down before the )ord, confessin1 m' sin and askin1 that .e somehow make me a compassionate person+

A W rnin$ !o Le ders 0hristian leaders need to realiJe that teachers incur a stricter Eud1ment K:ames #/1L+ De dare not whip those sheep allotted to our char1e in an effort to achie4e our numerical 1oals, meet our bud1ets, or build our new, bi11er, and better facilities+ <oses was the most humble man on earth KNumbers 1"/#L, and 'et he was also a man 1i4en to an1r' outbursts+ 8ne da' he made a terrible mistake in his an1er, as Numbers "!/%@1" records/ (he )8?> spoke to <oses, sa'in1, 6(ake the rodH 'ou and 'our brother Aaron assemble the con1re1ation and speak to the rock before their e'es, that it ma' 'ield its water+ Gou shall thus brin1 forth water for them out of the rock and let the con1re1ation and their beasts drink+7 So <oses took the rod from before the )8?>, Eust as .e had commanded himH and <oses and Aaron 1athered the assembl' before the rock+ And he said to them, 6)isten now, 'ou rebelsH shall we brin1 forth water for 'ou out of this rockM7 (hen <oses lifted up his hand and struck the rock twice with his rodH and water came forth abundantl', and the con1re1ation and their beasts drank+ But the )8?> said to <oses and Aaron, 6Because 'ou ha4e not belie4ed <e, to treat <e as hol' in the si1ht of the sons of -srael, therefore 'ou shall not brin1 this assembl' into the land which - ha4e 1i4en them+7 De belie4e there is a stron1 warnin1 for dominant

leaders in this passa1e+ =od is lo4in1 and kind and will take care of .is people, e4en when human leaders fail+ But if we tri4ialiJe the hol' callin1 of =od and tr' to control .is people in an1er, we ma' find the )ord risin1 up to oppose the 4er' 1oals .e once 1a4e us+ And in the end, we ma' onl' 1aJe with lon1in1 e'es upon the dreams we once stro4e so mi1htil' to fulfill+ E;%lodin$ Bec #se o/ & in or Sh "e Some people become an1er eCploders because of the accumulation of painful eCperiences in their li4es+ Abused and ne1lected 4ictims who ha4e not released their an1er can become 4er' an1r', bitter people+ ?ather than for1i4in1 their offenders, these people keep on 6makin1 a list and checkin1 it twice7 of all those who ha4e hurt, betra'ed, controlled, offended, or used them+ And, as <atthew 1$/#2 warns, the' are turned o4er to the torturers+ 0on4inced that e4er'one else is 6out to 1et them,7 the' suspiciousl' lash out in preempti4e strikesB an1ril' hurtin1 and reEectin1 others before the' themsel4es suffer that painful fate+ (he' li4e b' the motto 6>o unto others before others do unto 'ou+7 (hese hurtin1 people desperatel' need warm, lo4in1 human relationships to help heal their wounds, but the' sabota1e relationships before other people become too close+ (heir attitudes, words, and demeanor can be so caustic, critical, and cruel that the' dri4e awa' e4en the most well@meanin1 people+

Usin1 their an1er like a shield of protection, the' are unaware that their shield is becomin1 a coffin around their own hearts, chokin1 off the flow of life@1i4in1 lo4e from =od and others+ 5eople whose li4es are centered around shame are often a similar t'pe of an1er eCploder+ *eelin1 unlo4able, unworth', shameful, and dirt', the' stiff@arm the rest of the world, keepin1 them at a safe emotional distance+ (o allow people to 1et too close is too risk'+ 8thers mi1ht disco4er the skeletons in their closet and be as repulsed as the' themsel4es are b' what the' see+ An1er then becomes a sword for1ed out of self@ loathin1, used to ward off those who threaten to eChume the buried pain of past sin and shame+ 5rofessional counselors can all tell stories of how the wrath of shame@based clients was poured out on them when the' 1ot too close for comfort+ An$er Addic!s Some an1er eCploders are an1er addicts+ (he' 1et a rush out of the stron1 feelin1s that come from the sur1e of hormones into their bloodstream+ (he 5otter@ ;frons pro4ide insi1ht into this+ Dh', then, do some people seek it Oan1erP outM .ow could an'one 1et hooked on an1erM (he answer is the rush+ (he an1er rush is the stron1 ph'sical sensation that comes with 1ettin1 reall' mad+ (he rush is the result of the bod'Is natural fi1ht@or@fli1ht response to dan1er+ (he sur1e of adrenaline+ (he faster heart rate+

Uuickened breathin1+ (ensed muscles+ An1er acti4ates the bod'+ (he adrenaline boost can help 'ou feel stron1+ -t inEects eCcitement into a dull da'+ & )ike an' addict, an1er addicts build up a tolerance for the 6dru1+7 (hat means that more intensit' is required in order to 1et the same hi1h+ (he result can be deadl' Bon the road, in the home, or elsewhere+ The An$er E;%loi!er 0losel' akin to the an1er addict is the an1er eCploiter+ (his person enEo's the power that comes from an1er and belie4es that, b' usin1 an1er or the threat of an1er, he or she can 1ain power o4er other people+ Such a person 1ets more of an emotional than a ph'sical rush from an1er+ -t comes from creatin1 fear in others and makin1 others 1i4e them what the' want+ -n fact, some an1er eCploiters ne4er reall' 1et an1r' at all+ (he' Eust act an1r' or threaten an1er, knowin1 that others will come or 1o at their beck and call+ An1er eCploiters are, in realit', simpl' 1rown@up toddlers throwin1 Kor pretendin1 to throwL temper tantrums+ 0hances are the' were permitted to do so as children+ (heir parents, fearful of their childrenIs ra1e, ca4ed in to their demands+ (hat stron1hold was firml' established in the pre@school 'ears and has Eust taken on a more sophisticated faXade in the adult 'ears+ 8ur son )uke came into our famil' b' adoption at the

tender a1e of four, with an alread' 4er' ad4anced s'stem of flesh patterns+ Apparentl', at the orphana1e in (hailand where he had li4ed, the 6squeak' wheel 1ot the oil+7 Dhen we picked him up, we asked his care1i4er, throu1h an interpreter, what )uke did when he didnIt 1et his wa'+ 6.e screams,7 she said with a smirk on her face+ (hat turned out to be the understatement of the centur'F -n his earl' da's in our home, an' denial of his 6wants7 or an' reprimand to his beha4ior sent him into a 2&@minute fitB'ellin1, screamin1, cr'in1, throwin1 thin1s, stompin1 his feet, 'ou name it+ Since his bedroom door opened out, - had to brace m' feet a1ainst his door to keep him there for a few minutes of 6time@out+7 (he door would literall' bow outward as he put all his force a1ainst itF (o be honest with 'ou, at times his an1er was prett' scar'+ (urn the clock ahead "! or #! 'ears and ima1ine what )uke would be like were it not for consistent, lo4in1 discipline+ Gou would ha4e a full' de4eloped an1er eCploiter and probabl' a ra1e@aholic+ The C lc#l !in$ A,en$er (he wa's in which flesh patterns or stron1holds of an1er manifest themsel4es are nearl' as numerous as the people who emplo' them to cope+ But there are a few more common ones that we should eCamine+ 8ne of the most dan1erous of all stron1holds of an1er is

the flesh pattern of the calculatin1 a4en1er+ Not prone to an1r' outbursts, he or she is the incarnation of seethin1, re4en1eful an1er+ (his person in4ented the motto 6- donIt 1et mad, - 1et e4en+7 -n actualit', this person does both+ (he Bible contains some 1raphic eCamples of this kind of an1er flesh pattern+ 9in1 >a4idIs son Absalom waited two full 'ears after his half@brother Amnon had raped his sister (amar to carr' out his plan of re4en1e on him+ (his simmerin1, festerin1 an1er showed up in Absalom a1ain when he plotted to o4erthrow the throne of >a4id, his father+ After three 'ears in eCile followin1 the murder of Amnon, 9in1 >a4id permitted Absalom to come back to :erusalem to li4e+ But >a4id refused to see him for two more 'ears, e4en thou1h the' li4ed minutes awa' from one another+ AbsalomIs resentment o4er this went bone@deep+ Absalom secretl' took re4en1e a1ainst >a4id and stole the hearts of the people awa' from him K" Samuel 1&/ L, conspirin1 to usurp his fatherIs throne K1&/1!L+ .is 4ehement disdain for his father was further e4idenced b' his sleepin1 with >a4idIs concubines K1 /""L+ ;sau, the older twin brother of :acob, displa'ed the heart of a calculatin1 a4en1er in response to :acobIs deceitful theft of their father -saacIs blessin1+ =enesis "%/21 tells the stor'/ 6So ;sau bore a 1rud1e a1ainst

:acob because of the blessin1 with which his father had blessed himH and ;sau said to himself, R(he da's of mournin1 for m' father are nearH then - will kill m' brother :acob+I 7 *ortunatel' for both brothers, the stor' had a happ' endin1+ :acob escaped from ;sau, and the two were e4entuall' reconciled, man' 'ears later+ ;sau ne4er took the re4en1e he first threatened+ -n the upcomin1 chapter on for1i4eness, we will eCplain wh' takin1 re4en1e is useless and wron1+ *or now, Eust allow ?omans 1"/1%@"1 to renew 'our mind to the truth+ Ne4er pa' back e4il for e4il to an'one+ ?espect what is ri1ht in the si1ht of all men+ -f possible, so far as it depends on 'ou, be at peace with all men+ Ne4er take 'our own re4en1e, belo4ed, but lea4e room for the wrath of =od, for it is written, 6,en1eance is <ine, will repa',7 sa's the )ord+ 6But if 'our enem' is hun1r', feed him, and if he is thirst', 1i4e him a drinkH for in so doin1 'ou will heap burnin1 coals on his head+7 >o not be o4ercome b' e4il, but o4ercome e4il with 1ood+ The Gr#"% (he 1rump, thou1h certainl' not the scariest person to li4e with, ma' eChibit the most anno'in1 an1er st'le of them all+ )ike a persistent mosquito on a hot summer ni1ht, the 1rump is alwa's buJJin1 around a listenin1 ear with a whole truckload of complaints+ =ripin1, 1rousin1, and fumin1, the 1rouch' 1rump seems onl' to be 6happ'7 when unhapp'+ -f thin1s are 1oin1 well,

the 1rump quickl' recalls a time when thin1s were not, totall' con4inced that bad times lie Eust ahead+ No amount of rational ar1ument will keep a 1rump quiet for lon1 nor impro4e his sour disposition+ (he reason for this is that the 1rump feels that life has dealt him a bad hand+ Dhether he is dis1runtled at =od, others, himself, or all of them, he is an an1r' man+ .e has been hurt+ 5erhaps he had lon1 a1o 1otten his hopes up and the' were demolished+ <a'be this happened time and time a1ain, until it became safer to 1i4e up hope and Eust eCpect the worst+ An1r', 1ripin1 pessimism has become his shield a1ainst further pain+ Apart from 1enuine repentance toward =od and for1i4eness toward those who ha4e 1i4en him a raw deal, a 1rump will Eust worsen with a1e+ Gears of functionin1 in this self@protecti4e mode will most likel' produce a c'nical, sarcastic, bitter person+ Unable to trul' enEo' life or eCperience Eo' for lon1, the 1rump feels Eustified in his an1r', pessimistic 4iew of life+ -n fact, he would call himself a 6realist,7 at times feelin1 smu1l' superior to those with a more 6shallow,7 optimistic 4iew of life+ The Cri!ic l &er/ec!ionis! Similar to the 1rump is the critical perfectionist+ Stru11lin1 to li4e up to unrealistic and unkind personal standards and eCpectations, this person feels like a failure+ (he bafflin1 realit' of such indi4iduals is that

the rest of the world is usuall' amaJed at how much the' accomplish and how well the' do itF But critical perfectionists battle with shame and self@ loathin1 e4en as the' are dri4en to do thin1s better, faster, harder, smarter+ Unable to quiet the an1r' taskmaster inside their heads, the' pour out their 4enom on those around them+ (he unfortunate 4ictims ma' be spouses, children, emplo'ees, or e4en co@ workers in the church+ (hese people unconsciousl' act on the principle 6Since - feel bad, at least - can dra1 others down with me+7 And the' are capable of utterin1 cruel, cuttin1, and destructi4e words+ <oti4es are Eud1ed, beha4ior eCactin1l' critiqued, successes demeaned, and failures ma1nified in a tra1ic loseAlose situation+ (he father of a hi1h@school student - was disciplin1 was a critical perfectionist+ .e also happened to be an an1r' eCploder, too, but it was the former that was the most demoraliJin1+ 0on4inced that his bo's reall' couldnIt do an'thin1 ri1ht, one da' he dared them to wash his truck+ -f, after the Eob was done, he was unable to find a place the' had missed, the man would 1i4e his sons N"&+ (he' should ha4e known better+ A critical perfectionist will alwa's find somethin1 wron1+ But instead, the' worked and worked, tr'in1 to show their dad the' could li4e up to his hi1h eCpectations+ (he' couldnIt Knobod' couldFL, and with a smu1 sense of 1lee, he

1a4e them no mone'+ (his was Eust one in a series of an1r', demeanin1 e4ents in the life of his eldest son, who one ni1ht 1a4e up and tried to take his life with his Bo' Scout knife+ *ortunatel', the restrainin1 hand of =od spared his life+ Soon after, the redeemin1 1race of =od sa4ed his soul, thou1h the residual effects of an an1r', critical father ha4e continued to pla1ue him+ The & ssi,e<A$$ressi,e *inall', we canIt ne1lect to mention the passi4eA a11ressi4e person, labeled the an1er sneak b' the 5otter@;frons+ Gou will reco1niJe this flesh pattern immediatel' as 'ou read their description+ An1er sneaks can be an1r' without e4er ha4in1 to admit it+ (he' ne4er attack directl'+ (he' canIt be accused of a11ression+ (he' can honestl' sa', 6- donIt understand wh' 'ouIre so upset+ - ha4enIt done an'thin1+7 And the' ha4enIt either+ (he' ha4enIt mowed the 1rass as the' said the' would K'ou were almost certain the' promised, but ma'be the' didnIt, 'ou canIt be 1!! percent sureL+ (he' ha4enIt filled out that application for work thatIs been sittin1 on the counter for weeks+ (he' ha4enIt su11ested lo4e@ makin1 for months+ (he' ha4enIt watched the kids so 'ou could 1et a break+ (he' ha4enItQ An1er sneaks despise bein1 told what to do+ (he' abhor bein1 bothered, directed, or 1uided b' an'one else+ (he' Eust want to be left alone, and the' are

upset with an'one who 6disturbs the peace+7 )es 0arter and *rank <inirth 1i4e a clear dia1nosis of the passi4eAa11ressi4e an1er sneak in (he An1er Dorkbook+ 5assi4e a11ression is caused b' a need to ha4e control with the least amount of 4ulnerabilit'+ (his form of an1er is different from suppression in that the person knows he or she is an1r' Kin contrast to suppressed an1er, which is deniedL+ But because this person assumes it is too risk' to be open, he or she frustrates others b' subtle sabota1e+ (he need for control is e4idence of a stron1 competiti4e spirit+ Dhereas health' relationships do not keep score re1ardin1 ri1ht and wron1, the passi4e a11ressi4e person is out to win+ )ike the openl' a11ressi4e person, the passi4e a11ressi4e person is en1a1ed in a battle for superiorit'+ But this person has cle4erl' realiJed that too much honest' about personal differences lessens his or her abilit' to maintain an upper hand+ -n contrast, sl' forms of handlin1 an1er tend to keep him or her in the dri4erIs seat+% (here is an inherent fear factor in the an1er sneakIs modus operandi, and an element of pride+ (he fear of an1er, confrontation, and potential reEection dri4es this person to an 6end@around7 rather than direct approach to eCpressin1 an1er+ (he smu1 sense of superiorit' that 1rows out of ha4in1 outwitted his or her opponent 1i4es the an1er sneak a feelin1 of power+ (he whole episode becomes a sort of 1ame to be won+ (he

priJeM Bein1 left alone while lea4in1 the other person frustrated and worn out+ Beco"in$ Free /ro" Bond $e !o An$er .as the )ord used this chapter to eCpose stron1holds of an1er in 'our lifeM -f so, donIt be discoura1ed, be encoura1edF (he )ord is brin1in1 these areas of sin to the surface so that 'ou can be free from bonda1e to the flesh+ >r+ )ee )e*ebre sums up the flesh as 6e4er'thin1 we are apart from 0hrist+7$ =od did not miraculousl' eradicate all our flesh patterns when we came to know 0hrist, but b' .is 1race we can be free from their controllin1 influence+ (o become free will require a firm commitment to ri1hteousness and a fierce hatred of e4il+ No casual, half@hearted effort will do+ A+D+ (oJer writes, (he ancient curse will not 1o out painlessl'H the tou1h old miser within us will not lie down and die in obedience to our command+ .e must be torn out of our heart like a plant from the soilH he must be eCtracted in a1on' and blood like a tooth from the Eaw+ .e must be eCpelled from our soul b' 4iolence, as 0hrist eCpelled the mone' chan1ers from the temple+ And we shall need to steel oursel4es a1ainst his piteous be11in1, and to reco1niJe it as sprin1in1 out of selfpit', one of the most reprehensible sins of the human heart+9

Will yo# =oin #s in %r yer. >ear hea4enl' *ather, Gour word is li4in1 and acti4e, sharper than a two@ed1ed sword+ -t di4ides e4en between m' soul and spirit and Eud1es the thou1hts and intentions of m' heart+ -n the past - ha4e sometimes winked at m' fleshl' an1er, while at other times - ha4e been painfull' aware of its presence and power to hurt+ -n either case, - ha4e not taken a radical stand a1ainst m' unhealth' flesh patterns, thus allowin1 unri1hteous an1er a continued presence in m' heart+ No moreF - want m' heart to be pure, )ord, because onl' the pure in heart will see Gou+ And that is what - want more than an'thin1 else+ So, ha4in1 seen m' flesh for what it is, - choose not to turn awa' and hide or for1et+ - choose instead to acknowled1e Gou, )ord, in4itin1 the full eCpression of Gour hol' power to tear down these stron1holds+ -n :esusI mi1ht' name pra', amen+

&ART TWO (o) Gr ce nd For$i,eness Wor* in +o# C(A&TER > A" ?in$ Gr ce (here, but for the 1race of =od, 1oes :ohn Bradford+ B:8.N B?A>*8?> -t was 0hristmas ;4e 19%"+ - K?ichL had Eust finished m' first semester in colle1e, a hi1hl' moti4ated freshman meteorolo1' student at 5enn State Uni4ersit' Ka 6Deather 0hannel 1eek7 in the makin1L+ -t was 1reat to ha4e finals o4er and to Eust be able to relaC and enEo' the festi4e holida' season back home in )e4ittown, 5enns'l4ania+ But somethin1 was wron1+ (he usual 6ma1ic7 of 0hristmas was missin1+ As a famil' we alwa's trimmed the tree on 0hristmas ;4e, and so - helped do that, but m' heart wasnIt in it+ <a'be the problem was that - was 1rowin1 up, ha4in1 snipped the umbilical cord of da'@to@da' life at home b' 1oin1 off to school+ 8r ma'be it was the fact that e4er'one else in the house was bus' wrappin1 presents or cookin1+ wasnIt alone, but - felt intensel' lonel'+ - wandered around the house readin1 the decorati4e 0hristmas literature that m' mom alwa's put out+ <ost of it was 0urrier Y -4es kind of stuff about snow, Santa

0laus, and so on+ But one book of carols cau1ht m' attentionBand some words within it touched m' heart/ 6(o sa4e us all from SatanIs power when we were 1one astra'Q8 tidin1s of comfort and Eo'F7 SiC months earlier, m' older brother, (om, had mustered up the coura1e to share the 1ospel with me+ 0onsiderin1 what a c'nical, intellectual a1nosticA e4olutionist - was, that was no small matter+ (hou1h wasnIt con4inced that there e4en was a =od, - told (om, 6Gou know, for some reason - know that one da' -Ill make this decision Oto trust 0hrist as Sa4ior and )ordP+7 But - wasnIt close to bein1 read' at that time+ Bra4el', m' brother and one of his fraternit' brothers would 4isit me from time to time in m' dorm room that fall+ - would throw out e4er' 6intellectual7 obEection that - could think of, enEo'in1 the sense of power it 1a4e me to keep them off balance+ -n retrospect, - canIt remember a word the' said in response+ Dhat - do remember was their lo4e and patience with me and the fact that the' Eust kept on 4isitin1+ (he' had a qualit' of life that - could not fake and could not shake from m' mind+ All the truth and lo4e that - had been confronted with since the summer came floodin1 back into m' mind as - walked back to m' room that 0hristmas ;4e+ .a4in1 an eCtremel' nominal church back1round K- decided to pass it off as irrele4ant around a1e 1"L, this was all 4er' new and 4er' unsettlin1+

Dithout realiJin1 what - was doin1, - found m'self talkin1 to =od, complainin1 about how commercialiJed the 0hristmas season had become+ 6(his is supposed to be about the comin1 of :esus to earth to sa4e us, and we ha4e turned it into a mone'makin1 operationF7 - said to the =od - suddenl' belie4ed in+ - was stunned+ - couldnIt belie4e what - was doin1+ 6-Im startin1 to sound like m' brotherF7 - told m'self+ Dithin minutes - found m'self deepl' con4icted of m' sinfulness+ - had been an1r' with the world, an1r' with m' parents, an1r' with m' brother, an1r' with m'self, and e4en an1r' with =od+ -n m' an1er - had lashed out with a 4en1eance but had onl' found m'self increasin1l' isolated and alone+ (he emptiness in m' heart - felt that >ecember "2 was so acute - couldnIt stand it+ 0r'in1 out to :esus to for1i4e me and somehow create in me the capacit' to lo4e like m' brother, - put m' sinful life into the hands of a 1racious, merciful =od+ cannot describe the release that took place at that moment eCcept to sa' that the crushin1 load - felt was 1one and the bitter filth of m' soul was cleansed+ -nstantl'+ - was amaJedF - went runnin1 around the house so eCcited, knowin1 that somethin1 incredible had happened inside of me+ Dhat it all meant - didnIt know+ But - did know it was real and thatBunlike m' childhood 6belief 7 in Santa 0lausB- would ne4er 61row up7 and disco4er it to be a lie+ - am now

approachin1 m' twent'@ninth spiritual birthda', and m' heart is still full of the realit' of the amaJin1 1race of :esus 0hrist+ (he fullness has e4en matured o4er the 'earsF Why Gr ce. So wh' a chapter on the 1race of =od in a book about an1erM Because it is the 1race of =od that has made us new creations in 0hrist+ De need .is presence in our li4es to be the kind of people .e created us to be+ As an aerospace en1ineer, - KNeilL was a t'pe A indi4idual who scored hi1h on the dominant scale before - knew 0hrist+ Now - am no lon1er dri4en to achie4e+ - am called to ser4e others and the dominance in m' personalit' has dramaticall' decreased+ -t is onl' b' the 1race of =od that we can be freed from our past+ =od doesnIt fiC our pastH .e sets us free from it, alon1 with the an1er that has festered for 'ears because of ne1lect and past abuses+ B' the 1race of =od we are transformed b' the renewin1 of our minds+ 5erhaps 'ou canIt recall a time when 'ou did not belie4e in :esus, and so 'ou could be tempted to belie4e that 'our con4ersion to 0hrist was not so dramatic+ ?ichIs two oldest children, <ichelle and Brian, came to 0hrist at a1e three+ (he' were not deli4ered out of hard@core dru1 addiction, seCual immoralit', or crimeF But the' were Eust as radicall'

chan1ed inside as ?ich was+ And the' were Eust as in need of the 1race of =od as was their father+ And so are 'ou+ O#r Condi!ion Be/ore Gr ce Before we can be1in to trul' appreciate all that =od has 1raciousl' done for us in 0hrist, we need to be reminded a1ain of our condition apart from .im+ Dritin1 to his =entile audience in ;phesus, 5aul described their 6B+0+7 da's like this/ 6?emember that 'ou were at that time separate from 0hrist, eCcluded from the commonwealth of -srael, and stran1ers to the co4enants of promise, ha4in1 no hope and without =od in the world7 K;phesians "/1"L+ Dhether a lost person senses this alienation from =od or not, that separation from .im is 4er' real+ (here are man' people in our world who are dan1erousl' i1norant of the cancer that 1rows in their ph'sical bodies+ Because the' eCperience no s'mptoms, the' are deluded into thinkin1 all is well+ But if the' do not disco4er their true condition soon enou1h, the' will perish+ =od, throu1h .osea the prophet, cried out, sa'in1, 6<' people are destro'ed for lack of knowled1e7 K.osea 2/ L+ 0learl' there is no more perilous i1norance than that of an unbelie4er who is unaware of his or her true spiritual pli1ht+ ?omans &/ @$ tells us the truth re1ardin1 the human raceIs critical condition and 0hristIs cure/ 6Dhile we were still helpless, at the ri1ht time 0hrist died for the

un1odl'+ *or one will hardl' die for a ri1hteous manH thou1h perhaps for the 1ood man someone would dare e4en to die+ But =od demonstrates .is own lo4e toward us, in that while we were 'et sinners, 0hrist died for us7 Kemphasis addedL+ De were helplessBtotall' incapable of sa4in1 oursel4es+ De were un1odl'Bcompletel' unlike =od in our character+ De were sinners b' natureBtwisted and bent toward self@centeredness and e4il+ (hat is =odIs dia1nosis of an indi4idual without 0hrist+ (hat is who we were in Adam+ Not a prett' picture, is itM As -saiah 2/ sa's, 6All of us ha4e become like one who is unclean, and all our ri1hteous deeds are like a filth' 1armentH and all of us wither like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us awa'+7 The God o/ All Gr ce In!er,enes But =od+ >id 'ou catch those two words in ?omans &/ @$M Dhat a word of hopeF Dhat a messa1e of deli4eranceF )ike the bu1le blast from the U+S+ Arm' racin1 to sa4e the imperiled settlers, those words si1nal the arri4al, at Eust the ri1ht time, of the ca4alr' from 0al4ar'F 6But =od demonstrates .is own lo4e toward us, in that while we were 'et sinners, 0hrist died for us7 K?omans &/$, emphasis addedL+ =od wanted to do somethin1 that would be so arrestin1 that we would ne4er doubt .is lo4e a1ain+ So .e paid the ultimate price of death for us 1uilt', helpless sinners so that we could become

for1i4en sons and saints+ -n ;phesians ", 5aul describes our spirituall' dead condition apart from 0hrist, endin1 his dia1nosis with the words, 6OweP were b' nature children of wrath, e4en as the rest7 K;phesians "/#L+ Dith no hope of chan1in1 oursel4es, without 0hrist we were all b' nature Kwho we were in the core of our bein1sL doomed to eCperience =odIs wrath+ But =od+ (here it is a1ainF ;phesians "/2@& continues, 6But =od, bein1 rich in merc', because of .is 1reat lo4e with which .e lo4ed us, e4en when we were dead in our trans1ressions, made us ali4e to1ether with 0hrist Kb' 1race 'ou ha4e been sa4edL7 Kemphasis addedL+ -n m' K?ichIsL trainin1 as a life1uard, we were equipped to handle most water accidents+ De knew what to do when a spinal inEur' mi1ht ha4e taken place+ De were read' to handle a frantic, thrashin1 4ictim, and we were trained to perform 05? on someone in need of resuscitation+ 8nl' once in m' life1uardin1 career did - actuall' ha4e to sa4e someone+ -t was a little bo' who was a 4isitor to the pool where - worked+ .e could not swim and knew it, but still he wandered out into the deep end+ Dhen - noticed him, he was desperatel' tr'in1 to keep his head abo4e water+ (hou1h he was in onl' fi4e@foot@ deep water, that was sufficient for him to drown in since he was onl' four feet tallF 8thers were around

him, but were apparentl' obli4ious to the dan1er he was in+ - Eumped into the water, went o4er to where he was, reached out to him, and let him put his arms around m' neck+ Dithout an' fanfare and without man' others knowin1 what was 1oin1 on, - carried him out of the pool to safet' and onto a loun1e chair+ Dhat mi1ht the 6testimon'7 of that little bo' ha4e beenM <a'be somethin1 like this/ - did somethin1 reall' dumb+ - knew - couldnIt swim, but - went out in the deep water an'wa'+ - 1uess m' pride 1ot the better of me+ An'wa', when - realiJed that m' feet couldnIt touch bottom, - 1ot reall' scared+ - tried as best - could to keep from drownin1, but - was helpless to sa4e m'self+ But the life1uard came to m' rescueF .e sa4ed m' lifeF .e brou1ht me out of the water that was too deep for me and took me safel' to the side+ God-s A!!i!#de Is F#ll o/ Gr ce Gou ma' recall :esusI parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodi1al son, in )uke 1&, but 'ou ma' ha4e for1otten the conteCt in which :esus told them/ 6All the taC collectors and the sinners were comin1 near .im to listen to .im+ Both the 5harisees and the scribes be1an to 1rumble, sa'in1, R(his man recei4es sinners and eats with them+ So .e told them this parable, sa'in1QI 7 K)uke 1&/1@#L+

-n the first parable, the shepherd lea4es the 99 sheep that ha4e sta'ed with him in order to find the one that has stra'ed and is lost+ Dhen he finds the lost sheep, he la's it on his shoulders with 1reat Eo'+ And he calls his friends to1ether and the' ha4e a part', Eust because he found that one sheepF De mi1ht chime in with our lo1ic, 6Dell, that was a prett' risk' thin1 to doF After all, whatIs the bi1 difference between ha4in1 99 or 1!! sheepM 8ne sheep is onl' 1 percent of his assets+ -t would ha4e been smarter to take the loss and mo4e on rather than risk the 99 b' lea4in1 themF7 But the shepherd had no such thou1hts+ .is lo4e for the one was so intense that it ne4er occurred to him not to look for it until he found itF )ikewise, the woman who had lost one of her ten coins lit a lamp and swept the house, searchin1 carefull' until she found it K)uke 1&/$L+ And she too called her friends to1ether to celebrate the lost coin she had foundF *inall', the brokenhearted father, while 1i4in1 his prodi1al son the freedom to lea4e, kept his e'es 1lued to the road comin1 back home, alwa's watchin1 and waitin1 for his son+ 0onsider a1ain the fatherIs reaction to his sonIs return+ )et the words of :esus in )uke 1&/"!@"2 ha4e a fresh impact on 'ou+ Dhile he was still a lon1 wa' off, his father saw him,

and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him+ And the son said to him, 6*ather, ha4e sinned a1ainst hea4en and in 'our si1htH - am no lon1er worth' to be called 'our son+7 But the father said to his sla4es, 6Uuickl' brin1 out the best robe and put it on him, and put a rin1 on his hand and sandals on his feetH and brin1 the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrateH for this son of mine was dead and has come to life a1ainH he was lost and has been found+7 And the' be1an to celebrate Kemphasis addedL+ -n the 4ideo Becomin1 a 0onta1ious 0hristian, Bill .'bels makes three points about these parables+ .is first point is that :esus told these stories so that we would know how much =od lo4es lost people+ Second, he obser4es that lost people matter so much to =od that it warrants an all@out search to find them+ And third, when one lost person recei4es the )ord, there is an incredible celebration in hea4enF1 Gr ce nd Cele1r !ion 0an 'ou put 'ourself in the prodi1alIs place for a momentM 0an 'ou see 'ourself squanderin1 the 1ood thin1s =od has 1i4en 'ou, wastin1 'our life in sin, desperatel' tr'in1 to sur4i4eM (hen can 'ou picture 'ourself comin1 to 'our senses and repentin1, runnin1 to 'our *atherM *illed with 1uilt for what 'ouI4e done and shame for what 'ouI4e become, can 'ou hear 'ourself confessin1 'our sin to .imM

But the fatherQ8nce a1ain, words of hope pour from the mouth of our 1racious =odF See the *ather runnin1 to meet 'ou, not wantin1 to miss one second of fellowship with 'ouF See the compassion in .is e'esF *eel the deep lo4e in .is warm, firm embrace, the Eo' in .is kiss upon 'our cheekF 0an 'ou feel 'our di1nit' and sense of worth bein1 restored as .e i1nores 'our request to be made a ser4antM Gou are .is sonF (here is no thou1ht in the *atherIs heart that 'ou would be an'thin1 but .is sonF 0an 'ou feel 'our heart burst with 1ratitude as .e puts the robe and rin1 of honor on 'ou and the sandals upon 'our tired, dust' feetM Delcome homeF (hen the festi4e music and Eo'ful dancin1 startsBthe feast be1ins and the fattened calf is ser4ed+ Smell the aromaF (aste the delicious foodF See the e'es of 'our friends and 'our *ather li1ht up as 'ou enter the room, and see the stunned look on 'our own face, because itIs all for 'ouF 0hild of =od, it is a part' in 'our honorF >oes this ima1er' surprise or e4en offend 'ouM -s it hard for 'ou to ima1ine ha4in1 a part' with =odM >oes it seem somehow 6beneath7 .im to re4el and celebrate with such abandonM K-s it perhaps uncomfortabl' reminiscent of some of the ancient =reek m'ths about the riotous li4es of their 1odsML (he late .enri Nouwen, stunned b' ?embrandtIs paintin1 (he ?eturn of the 5rodi1al Son, wrote about this side of =od in his book b' the same name+

(here is no doubt that the father Oin the parableP wants a la4ish feast+ 9illin1 the calf that had been fattened up for a special occasion shows how much the father wanted to pull out all the stops and offer his son a part' such as had ne4er been celebrated before+ .is eCuberant Eo' is ob4ious+ After ha4in1 1i4en his order to make e4er'thin1 read', he eCclaims/ 6De will celebrate b' ha4in1 a feast, because this son of mine was dead and has come back to lifeH he was lost and is found,7 and immediatel' the' be1in to celebrateQ+realiJe that - am not used to the ima1e of =od throwin1 a bi1 part'+ -t seems to contradict the solemnit' and seriousness - ha4e alwa's attached to =od+ But when - think about the wa's in which :esus describes =odIs 9in1dom, a Eo'ful banquet is often at its center+" -snIt that trueM :esus talked about people comin1 from the four corners of the earth to 6recline at the table in the kin1dom of =od7 K)uke 1#/"9L+ And told us that 6the kin1dom of hea4en ma' be compared to a kin1 who 1a4e a weddin1 feast for his son7 K<atthew ""/"L+ (hat theme is echoed in the book of ?e4elation when an an1el declares to :ohn, 6Blessed are those who are in4ited to the marria1e supper of the )amb7 K?e4elation 19/9L+ -n fact, the Bible sa's that =od sa4ed us and has us sittin1 ri1ht neCt to .im in hea4en so that .e can lo4e on us and lo4e on us some more, fore4er K;phesians "/2@%LF (his is =odIs free 1ift of lo4e and kindness/ *rom death to life+ *rom lost to found+ *rom dis1race to

1race+ >r+ :+-+ 5acker, in his book 9nowin1 =od, wrote this about 1race/ (he 1race of =od is lo4e freel' shown towards 1uilt' sinners, contrar' to their merit and indeed in defiance of their demerit+ -t is =od showin1 1oodness to persons who deser4e onl' se4erit', and had no reason to eCpect an'thin1 but se4erit'+Q-t is surel' clear that, once a man is con4inced that his state and need are as described, the New (estament 1ospel of 1race cannot but sweep him off his feet with wonder and Eo'+ *or it tells how our :ud1e has become our Sa4ior+# The Tr#!h A1o#! O#r God o/ Gr ce (he tra1ed' for so man' belie4ers in 0hrist, howe4er, is that in their own perception their Sa4ior has become their :ud1e+ .a4in1 once known 1race, the' now eCperience 1uilt+ .a4in1 once danced in the freedom of for1i4eness, the' now labor under a 'oke of sla4er' to the law, seekin1 desperatel' to please a seemin1l' unpleasable =od+ -n their 1uilt the' are an1r'Bwith =od, at themsel4es, at the church, at preachers, atB 'ou fill in the blanks+ Dho wouldnIt be an1r'M After all, what is more frustratin1 than bein1 eCpected to do the impossibleM )etIs tr' to make some sense out of all this+ *irst of all, assumin1 'ou are a child of =od, what do 'ou think :esusI first words mi1ht be if .e were to appear to 'ou

personall'M 6Shape up or ship outF7 6=et 'our act to1etherF7 6(r' harderF7 6Dh' didnIt 'ou witness to that person toda'Qor 'esterda'QorQM7 Dhile not wantin1 to put words in =odIs mouth, we belie4e that :esus would sa' somethin1 like this/ 6=race and peace to 'ou from =od the *ather+7 (hese words Kor a similar 1reetin1L be1in 1& of the New (estament letters to churches and indi4iduals+ (hat 1reetin1 is not Eust the first@centur' 4ersion of 6.i, how are 'ouM7 -t is a blessin1 from =od, remindin1 the recipients of those =od@breathed letters of their ri1ht standin1 before .im+ (he' were standin1 in =odIs 1racious presence and were at peace with .im, and nothin1 could chan1e that+ Dhat an encoura1ement to know that, despite sins in their midst K'es, 5aul 1reeted e4en the fleshl' 0orinthian church with 61race and peace to 'ou7B twiceFL and trials and perils in their li4es Ksee 5eterIs lettersL, the' were for1i4en, accepted, and affirmed+ 0ompletel'+ -rre4ocabl'+ ;ternall'+ Dh' is there so often an intense battle in our minds to belie4e that truthM De belie4e it is because the enem' of our souls knows that we will be unable to 1row spirituall' or bear fruit if we do not trul' belie4e we are for1i4en children of =od+ )isten to 5eterIs words about =odIs work/ B' O.is own 1lor' and eCcellence, =odP has 1ranted to us .is precious and ma1nificent promises, so that b'

them 'ou ma' become partakers of the di4ine nature, ha4in1 escaped the corruption that is in the world b' lust+ Now for this 4er' reason also, appl'in1 all dili1ence, in 'our faith suppl' moral eCcellence, and in 'our moral eCcellence, knowled1e, and in 'our knowled1e, self@control, and in 'our self@control, perse4erance, and in 'our perse4erance, 1odliness, and in 'our 1odliness, brotherl' kindness, and in 'our brotherl' kindness, lo4e+ *or if these qualities are 'ours and are increasin1, the' render 'ou neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowled1e of our )ord :esus 0hrist+ *or he who lacks these qualities is blind or short@si1hted, ha4in1 for1otten his purification from his former sins K" 5eter 1/2@9, emphasis addedL+ >id 'ou catch the impact of 5eterIs messa1eM .e declared that it is a real and present dan1er to lose si1ht of the for1i4eness we ha4e in 0hristF And if we do, then we will not de4elop spiritual disciplines, we will not 1row, and we will not bear fruit+ Re"e"1erin$ (is Gr ce 5erhaps the condition that 5eter describes is the one 'ou find 'ourself in toda'+ -f so, =od wants 'ou to be reminded of 'our purification from 'our former sins+ .e wants 'ou to know .is 1race and peace once a1ain+ .e wants 'ou to know that 'ou are indeed for1i4en and are a new creation in 0hrist+ 0onsider the followin1 Scriptures/

Dho is a =od like 'ou, who pardons sin and for1i4es the trans1ression of the remnant of his inheritanceM Gou do not sta' an1r' fore4er but deli1ht to show merc'+ Gou will a1ain ha4e compassion on usH 'ou will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea K<icah %/1$@19 N-,L+ (he )ord is compassionate and 1racious, slow to an1er, aboundin1 in lo4e+ .e will not alwa's accuse, nor will he harbor his an1er fore4erH he does not treat us as our sins deser4e or repa' us accordin1 to our iniquities+ *or as hi1h as the hea4ens are abo4e the earth, so 1reat is his lo4e for those who fear himH as far as the east is from the west, so far has he remo4ed our trans1ressions from us K5salm 1!#/$@1" N-,L+ .e was pierced throu1h for our trans1ressions, .e was crushed for our iniquitiesH the chastenin1 for our well@bein1 fell upon .im, and b' .is scour1in1 we are healed+ All of us like sheep ha4e 1one astra', each of us has turned to his own wa'H but the )8?> has caused the iniquit' of us all to fall on .im K-saiah &#/&@ L+ 6(his is the co4enant that - will make with them after those da's, sa's the )8?>/ - will put <' laws upon their heart, and on their mind - will write them,7 .e then sa's, 6And their sins and their lawless deeds - will remember no more+7 Now where there is for1i4eness of these thin1s, there is no lon1er an' offerin1 for sin K.ebrews 1!/1 @1$L+

Dhen 'ou were dead in 'our trans1ressions and the uncircumcision of 'our flesh, .e made 'ou ali4e to1ether with .im, ha4in1 for1i4en us all our trans1ressions, ha4in1 canceled out the certificate of debt consistin1 of decrees a1ainst us, which was hostile to usH and .e has taken it out of the wa', ha4in1 nailed it to the cross K0olossians "/1#@1&L+ 60ome now, and let us reason to1ether,7 sa's the )8?>, 6thou1h 'our sins are as scarlet, the' will be as white as snowH thou1h the' are red like crimson, the' will be like wool7 K-saiah 1/1$L+ 6- ha4e wiped out 'our trans1ressions like a thick cloud, and 'our sins like a hea4' mist+ ?eturn to <e, for - ha4e redeemed 'ou7 K-saiah 22/""L+ (he ima1er' that =od has 1i4en us in the Scriptures of .is for1i4eness could not be more 4i4id+ .e for1i4es and remembers our sins no more+ .e laid e4er' last one of them on 0hrist and nailed them to the cross with .im+ =od has hol' amnesia when it comes to all our wron1doin1+ .e has dri4en our sins awa' like the breeJe blowin1 awa' the mornin1 fo1+ 0hild of =od, 'ou are for1i4enF Gou are freeF Gou are ali4e in 0hristF 6& id in F#ll7 >o 'ourself a fa4or+ (ake out a piece of paper and write down e4er' wron1 thin1 whose 1uilt still haunts

'ou+ (he thin1s 'ou should ha4e done but didnIt+ (he thin1s 'ou shouldnIt ha4e done but did+ Drite down e4er' bit of an1er that 'ou still harbor a1ainst =od, 'ourself, and others+ (hen write the words 65A-> -N *U))7 in red letters across that paper+ (hat is the literal translation of the heart cr' of :esus on the cross when .e said, 6(etelestaiF7 8ften rendered 6-t is finishedF7 Ksee :ohn 19/#!L, it is our )ordIs eCclamation point to .is sacrificial death that paid the complete penalt' of death for our sins+ I! is o,er. Now take that paper and do somethin1 with it that will sta' in 'our memor'+ (rample on it+ ?ip it to shreds+ Burn it+ (ie it around a rock, 1o out in 'our boat, and throw it into the deepest part of a lake+ Dhate4er 'ou do, know that 'ou are onl' actin1 out s'mbolicall' what =od in 0hrist has alread' done for 'ou, b' 1race, fore4er+ &le se =oin #s in !his %r yer' >ear hea4enl' *ather, 1race and truth came throu1h Gour Son, :esus 0hrist+ And - ha4e recei4ed of .is fullness, 1race upon 1race+ - donIt want to be like the nine un1rateful lepers who were healed but ne4er came back to eCpress their 1ratitude to :esus+ So sa' 6(hank Gou, )ordF7 for the 1race and merc' Gou la4ished upon me in 0hrist+ <ake toda' a landmark

da' for me so that - will ne4er for1et the for1i4eness that is mine in .im+ =i4e me discernment to reco1niJe the accuserIs lies, b' which he seeks to dra1 me a1ain into the 1utter of 1uilt+ - renounce all his deception and choose to belie4e the truth of what Gou ha4e done for me+ .eal m' dama1ed emotions, )ord+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+

C(A&TER @ Gr ce /or Li/e All the dealin1s of =od with the soul of the belie4er are in order to brin1 it into oneness with .imself+ B.ANNA. D.-(A)) S<-(. - had the pri4ile1e of bein1 present with m' bra4e wife, Shirle', durin1 the birth of our three biolo1ical children+ Dith <ichelle, she decided to 1o with a totall' natural childbirth+ 8nce was enou1h for thatBfor both of usB so with Brian she decided to 1o with an epidural+ .e arri4ed so quickl', howe4er, that she had to 1o natural a1ain+ B' the time Shirle' was pre1nant with ;mil', she was read' to start ha4in1 epidurals in the se4enth monthBEust to make sureF -n addition to the pain their mother eCperienced as the' came into this world, each of the three had one more thin1 in common+ ;4en after the' were born, the' were still connected to Shirle' b' their umbilical cords+ ?emarkabl', children in the womb are so united with their mothers b' that cord that what affects mom affects bab'+ -n the case of nutrition, this is a blessin1+ -n the case of crack and other harmful substances, it is a tra1ed'+ (hou1h mother and child are separate indi4iduals, 'ou can accuratel' sa' that the bab' is in

the mother and the mother in the child+ Gr ce Is 6in Chris!7 Dhat a picture this is of the union that has taken place, b' 1race, between the )ord :esus 0hrist and usF -n fact, for e4er' 4erse in Scripture in which 0hrist is said to be in us, there are ten 4erses statin1 that we are 6in 0hrist7F (here is a spiritual umbilical cord that links us with our )ord, a cord that was not cut at the new birth and that will ne4er be se4ered+ >a4id Needham comments on this in his book Ali4e for the *irst (ime/ 6-n that moment when =od 1a4e both life and birth to 'ou, he ne4er se4ered the umbilical cord+ ;n4eloped in the Sa4ior, identified with e4er'thin1 :esus is and didBincludin1 the cross and the resurrectionB'ou are alwa's, e4er Rin him+I But :esus is also Rin 'ou+I 71 Gou see, =odIs amaJin1 1race did not stop with simpl' sa4in1 us from hell and preparin1 a place for us in hea4en+ (here are countless spiritual treasures that were brou1ht out and bestowed on us at the moment of our sal4ation+ All of them are ours because we are Eoint heirs with :esus and spirituall' ali4e 6in 0hrist+7 Gou likel' are familiar with some of them, but ma'be 'ouI4e ne4er before thou1ht of them as antidotes to an1er+ ?ecall the discussion in chapter 2 in which we eCplained that all of Adam and ;4eIs deepest needs were met b' =od in the =arden of ;den+ But the'

were on their own to meet those needs after the' chose to sin+ -n the flesh the' were futilel' seekin1 to re1ain 6paradise lost+7 8nl' in 0hrist can our deep spiritual needs of life, identit', intimac' with =od, di1nit', acceptance, securit', and si1nificance be met+ 8ur contention is that if an' belie4er in :esus trul' 1rasps the realit', on a deep heart le4el, of how those needs are full' met in 0hrist, most of his or her stru11les with fleshl' an1er will melt awa'+ -t is eas', in a materialistic societ', to belie4e that 6the 1ood life7 comes from what we possess+ :esus laid that idea to rest when .e said in )uke 1"/1&, 6Beware, and be on 'our 1uard a1ainst e4er' form of 1reedH for not e4en when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions+7 (he truth is this/ :esus is the 6resurrection and the life7 K:ohn 11/"&, emphasis addedL and 6the wa', and the truth, and the life7 K:ohn 12/ , emphasis addedL+ .e came that we mi1ht ha4e life and ha4e it more abundantl' K:ohn 1!/1!L+ :esus actuall' is our lifeF No lon1er do we need to tr' and find life throu1h the world or the flesh, because life is a personBthe )ord :esus 0hristBwho li4es in us and we in .im+ The 6Old +o#7 Is De d (he apostle 5aul made it clear that when our minds are set on 0hrist, who is our life, then we will be empowered to put to death the deeds of death+

-f 'ou ha4e been raised up with 0hrist, keep seekin1 the thin1s abo4e, where 0hrist is, seated at the ri1ht hand of =od+ Set 'our mind on the thin1s abo4e, not on the thin1s that are on earth+ *or 'ou ha4e died and 'our life is hidden with 0hrist in =od+ Dhen 0hrist, who is our life, is re4ealed, then 'ou also will be re4ealed with .im in 1lor'+ (herefore consider the members of 'our earthl' bod' as dead to immoralit', impurit', passion, e4il desire, and 1reed, which amounts to idolatr'+ *or it is because of these thin1s that the wrath of =od will come upon the sons of disobedience, and in them 'ou also once walked, when 'ou were li4in1 in them+ But now 'ou also, put them all aside/ an1er, wrath, malice, slander, and abusi4e speech from 'our mouth K0olossians #/1@$L+ (he thrust of 5aulIs ar1ument is simple and powerful+ (he old 'ou Kthe 'ou without 0hristL is dead, the new 'ou is ali4e in 0hrist+ -n fact, 0hrist is 'our life and the source of life+ -n 0hrist 'ou alread' ha4e all 'ou need+ -t is futile to tr' makin1 a name and life for 'ourself b' what 'ou can 1ain on earth throu1h 'our own stren1th and resources+ ;4er'thin1 'ou accumulate on earth 'ou will someda' lose+ But what 'ou 1ain in 0hrist can ne4er be taken awa' from 'ou+ As 'ou disco4er 'our life, identit', acceptance, si1nificance, and securit' in 0hrist, 'ou will eCperience increasin1 4ictor' in 'our stru11le with an1er+ Dh'M Because fleshl', controllin1 an1er stems from li4in1 our li4es independentl' of =od+

The & !h !o Freedo" /ro" !he Flesh 9nowin1 who we are in 0hrist is the biblical path to liberation from the control of the flesh+ 5aul wrote/ 6ha4e been crucified with 0hristH and it is no lon1er who li4e, but 0hrist li4es in meH and the life which now li4e in the flesh Obod'P - li4e b' faith in the Son of =od, who lo4ed me and 1a4e .imself up for me7 K=alatians "/"!L+ B' the 1race of =od, the old fleshl' 'ou is dead, and the new 'ou is ali4e in 0hrist :esus+ 5aul wrote, 6.ow shall we who died to sin still li4e in itM7 K?omans /"L+ ?omans /2@% is =odIs ;mancipation 5roclamation from sinIs control+ De ha4e been buried with .im throu1h baptism into death, so that as 0hrist was raised from the dead throu1h the 1lor' of the *ather, so we too mi1ht walk in newness of life+ *or if we ha4e become united with .im in the likeness of .is death, certainl' we shall also be in the likeness of .is resurrection, knowin1 this, that our old self was crucified with .im, in order that our bod' of sin mi1ht be done awa' with, so that we would no lon1er be sla4es to sinH for he who has died is freed from sin+ -n a later chapter we will eCplain more of the 6how to7 of walkin1 in our new life in 0hrist and o4ercomin1 fleshl' an1er+ But for now, reEoice that 'ou are ali4e in 0hrist and 'our spirit is eternall' in union with .imF K1 0orinthians /1%L+ Gour stru11le with identit' is also

o4er, because 6as man' as recei4ed .im, to them .e 1a4e the ri1ht to become children of =od7 K:ohn 1/1"L+ 6See how 1reat a lo4e the *ather has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of =odH and such we are7 K1 :ohn #/1L+ Tr#e Di$ni!y Is 6in Chris!7 Besides our need for identit', another need that is full' met in 0hrist is our need for di1nit'+ .ow man' times do we eCperience defensi4e an1er because someone sa's or does somethin1 that attacks our di1nit' as a personM ?ecentl' - was speakin1 in another town, and a 'oun1 man named :erem' told me about his spiritual stru11les and of his stron1 need and desire to seek help from his 'outh pastor+ :erem'Is mother told me that he had 1one rapidl' downhill spirituall' after an incident in4ol4in1 his baseball team+ Unfortunatel', the 'outh pastor had been asked to resi1n and had left town without counselin1 him+ :erem' was an1r' with the pastor for not takin1 the time to meet with him, but he was reall' an1r' at his teamIs coach for criticiJin1 him+ .e felt a loss of di1nit'+ (he coach had promoted him to 4arsit', and :erem' had been fl'in1 hi1h+ But then, in a crucial situation, he had struck out+ (he coach pulled him out and callousl' said, 6- 1uess 'ou werenIt read'+7 (hat reEection, his loss of di1nit', and his consequent an1er had sent :erem' into a spiritual tailspin+ Dhat remed'

can be applied to such a woundM .ow can :erem' look at himself in the mirror, and his coach in the e'e, a1ainM 8ne thin1 is clear+ :erem'Is hope does not lie in his coachIs recantin1 and restorin1 him to fa4or on the team+ (hat is a false hope because that would still make his di1nit' dependent upon his abilit' to perform as a pla'er, as well as his abilit' to please his coach+ .e would still be set up for future reEection if he were to fail a1ain+ Not lon1 a1o a woman called m' office+ .er husband was in the process of di4orcin1 her+ Apparentl', for o4er "! 'ears this man had s'stematicall' sou1ht to dismantle his wifeIs sanit'+ An' time she presented an opinion contrar' to his, she would be met b' weeks of silence or b' 4iolent outbursts of 4erbal abuse+ An' effort she would make to eCercise her authorit' o4er the children would be undermined+ -f she refused to 1i4e mone' to one of their adult children who was actin1 irresponsibl', her husband would bail the child out, makin1 his wife look bad in the process+ (his man had mana1ed to surround himself with other 0hristian men who had an authoritarian 4iew of headship in the home+ She was told to 6Eust submit7 Ktranslation/ become a passi4e doormatL e4en b' a well@meanin1 pastor who was totall' unaware of the emotional Kand at times ph'sicalL abuse that was takin1 place behind those placid suburban walls+

(his womanIs husband had e4en spread false rumors about her ha4in1 an affair in order to Eustif' his separation and di4orce from her+ (o make matters worse, the couple had been in4ol4ed in si1nificant public ministr' to1ether and had a reputation for ha4in1 a 1ood marria1e, when in realit' the' didnIt+ (his abused and ne1lected woman was an1r' and was stru11lin1 to o4ercome her bitterness+ Res!orin$ Di$ni!y Dhat help is a4ailable for such a woman, whose husband ma' not e4er see his desperate need for helpM .ow can her di1nit' as a human bein1 and a woman be restoredM .ow can she find the truth to set her free from more than "! 'ears of li4in1 with an oppressi4e husbandM (he abuse was made all the more painful because it was periodicall' interrupted b' times of sweet harmon' in their home+ But hope would disappear a1ain as >r+ :ek'll would b' transformed back into <r+ .'de+ )ike :erem', this womanIs hope does not ultimatel' lie in her husbandIs repentance and reco4er', althou1h that would be wonderful+ She has no ri1ht or abilit' to control himBbut these thin1s are not determinin1 who she is, nor are the' necessar' for her to be ali4e and free in 0hrist+ Nobod' can keep her from bein1 the wife and mother that =od has created her to be+ (his is because her primar' identit' is not found in her relationship with her husband or with an' other human bein1+ 8nl' throu1h relationship with =od as .is

children can this belea1uered woman, can :erem', can the rest of us, find our identit' and di1nit' restored+ And the desperate quest for di1nit' is not limited to America+ -n man' Asian cultures that lack a 0hristian base, an indi4idual would rather die than 6lose face7H and to shame someone publicl' could put oneIs own life at serious risk+ 8nl' the truth can set us free from such bonda1e+ ?e1ardless of what an' person thinks of us, we are deepl' lo4ed b' =od+ 9in1 >a4id addressed perhaps the most painful of all possibilities when he said, 6<' father and m' mother ha4e forsaken me, but the )8?> will take me up7 K5salm "%/1!L+ (hat same >a4id, as we obser4ed earlier, knew intense reEection from his 6boss,7 9in1 Saul+ Saul tried repeatedl' to hunt down and kill him because >a4id had made such a name for himself+ ?e1ardless, >a4id was able to write Kand e4en more important, li4e outL the truth that 6e4en thou1h - walk throu1h the 4alle' of the shadow of death, - fear no e4il, for Gou are with me7 K5salm "#/2L+ ;4en if a spouse or a child should turn a1ainst us, =od ne4er will+ 9in1 >a4id knew this kind of pain as his wife <ichal mocked his eCuberant worship of =od and his son Absalom cunnin1l' usurped his throne+

Wh ! God S ys A1o#! O#r Di$ni!y -n stark contrast to the opinions of other people and their attacks on our personal worth and di1nit', listen to what =od sa's is true about .is children/ Gou are a chosen race, a ro'al priesthood, a hol' nation, a people for =odIs own possession, so that 'ou ma' proclaim the eCcellencies of .im who has called 'ou out of darkness into .is mar4elous li1htH for 'ou once were not a people, but now 'ou are the people of =odH 'ou had not recei4ed merc', but now 'ou ha4e recei4ed merc' K1 5eter "/9@1!L+ -t is impossible for other people to take those realities awa' from 'ou, no matter what the' sa' or what the' do+ =od knows who 'ou are because .e looks upon the heart, while the inhabitants of this fallen world can onl' look upon the appearance+ 9nowin1 that 'ou are unconditionall' lo4ed and accepted b' =od is what makes it possible to o4ercome 'our an1er and walk b' the Spirit when the world lets 'ou down+ Tr#e Di$ni!y Brin$s In!i" cy .a4in1 recei4ed life and the restoration of our 4alue and di1nit' throu1h 0hrist, we are now free to enEo' the immensel' satisf'in1 Eo' of intimac' with =od+ (he psalmist Asaph knew the 4alue of that closeness to =od+ .e wrote in one of his psalms,

- am continuall' with GouH Gou ha4e taken hold of m' ri1ht hand+ Dith Gour counsel Gou will 1uide me, and afterward recei4e me to 1lor'+ Dhom ha4e - in hea4en but GouM And besides Gou, - desire nothin1 on earth+ <' flesh and m' heart ma' fail, but =od is the stren1th of m' heart and m' portion fore4er+QAs for me, the nearness of =od is m' 1oodH - ha4e made the )ord =8> m' refu1e, that - ma' tell of all Gour works K5salm %#/"#@" ,"$L+ 9in1 >a4id wrote, 6Gou will make known to me the path of lifeH in Gour presence is fullness of Eo'H in Gour ri1ht hand there are pleasures fore4er7 K5salm 1 /11L+ -f 'our relationship with =od is the source of supreme Eo' in life, there is far less reason to be an1r'+ >a4id, a man after =odIs own heart, wrote in 5salm "%/2, 68ne thin1 - ha4e asked from the )8?>, that - shall seek/ that - ma' dwell in the house of the )8?> all the da's of m' life, to behold the beaut' of the )8?> and to meditate in .is temple+7 Dhen 'ou make the passionate pursuit of =od the primar' dri4in1 force in 'our life, 'ou will ne4er be disappointed K1 5eter "/ L+ Tr#e Acce%! nce nd Sec#ri!y Are 6in Chris!7 Dith =od, securit' and acceptance 1o hand in hand+ 8nce 'ou know 'ou are accepted b' .im, 'ou can rest assured that .e will take care of 'ou, and that brin1s a deep sense of securit'+ B' .is 1race, .e has both accepted 'ou and made 'ou secure in 0hristF ?omans 1&/% sa's, 6Accept one another, Eust as 0hrist also accepted us to the 1lor' of =od+7 De are 6accepted in

the belo4ed7 K;phesians 1/ 9:,L+ (o be accepted means to be recei4ed and welcomed as 'ou are, with no strin1s attached+ -t is the act of unconditional lo4e and 1race b' which =od treats .is former enemies as .is 4er' best friends+ Because the' areF .ere are :esusI words in :ohn 1&/1&/ 6No lon1er do - call 'ou sla4es, for the sla4e does not know what his master is doin1H but - ha4e called 'ou friends, for all thin1s that - ha4e heard from <' *ather - ha4e made known to 'ou+7 (his friendship carries with it the responsibilit' of obedience K:ohn 1&/12L, but it is predicated on the fact that in 0hrist =od has 1raciousl' chosen us to be united with .im+ An In,i! !ion !o God-s T 1le *ifteen 'ears after the death of 9in1 Saul and his son :onathan, 9in1 >a4id inquired as to whether there was an' sur4i4in1 relati4e of that famil' to whom he could show kindness K" Samuel 9/1L+ (he "!@'ear@old crippled son of :onathan, <ephibosheth, was brou1ht tremblin1 before the kin1+ -n those da's disabled people were reEected b' societ' and were not e4en allowed to enter the house of =od, but >a4id demonstrated the 1race of =od+ 6>a4id said to him, R>o not fear, for - will surel' show kindness to 'ou for the sake of 'our father :onathan, and will restore to 'ou all the land of 'our 1randfather SaulH and 'ou shall eat at m' table re1ularl'I7 K" Samuel 9/%L+ <ephibosheth had e4er' natural reason to fear >a4id+

(he kin1 could ha4e seen the 'oun1 man as a threat to his throne and had him slain+ But he didnIt+ Unknown to <ephibosheth, >a4id and :onathan had made a co4enant 'ears before that each would care for the otherIs famil' K1 Samuel 1$/1@2H "!/2"L+ <ephibosheth was the beneficiar' of >a4idIs 1race, in the name of :onathan his father+ <ephibosheth couldnIt belie4e >a4id would treat him with such kindness+ .e saw himself as a 6dead do1,7 unworth' of such ro'al treatment K" Samuel 9/$L+ -ndeed, what >a4id had bestowed on him was the hi1hest honor, for in bein1 in4ited to eat at the kin1Is table he was bein1 re1arded as one of the kin1Is sonsF (oo man' 0hristians are like <ephibosheth+ (remblin1 before the =od who lo4es them, the' are afraid that the hammer of Eud1ment will fall on them if the' make one little mistake+ 0hild of =od, the hammer has alread' fallen on 0hristF .e has alread' died once for all our sins K?omans /1!L+ As children of =od, we are no lon1er sinners in the hands of an an1r' =od, we are saints in the hands of a lo4in1 =od who has called us to come before .is presence with our hearts sprinkled clean K.ebrews 1!/19@"&L and with confidence and boldness K;phesians #/1"L+ (oda', the 9in1 in4ites 'ou to eat at .is table of blessin1+ And what a spread .e has pro4idedF ;4er' spiritual blessin1 in the hea4enl' places is 'ours to feast upon in 0hrist K;phesians 1/1@12L+ Gou are a saint, a hol' one K4erse 1L, a recipient of .is 1race

and peace K4erse "L, chosen before time be1an to be hol' and blameless before .im K4erse 2L+ Gou ha4e been lo4in1l' adopted into .is famil' because of .is kindness K4erses &@ L, redeemed and for1i4en b' .is la4ish 1race K4erse %L, and 1i4en a wonderful inheritance, sealed and pled1ed b' the 1ift of the .ol' Spirit K4erses 11@12L+ ?ecei4e the unconditional lo4e and acceptance of =od with Eo'F Acce%! nce 1y Gr ce <ephiboshethIs position of blessin1 and honor before the kin1 was not based on his works, but on 1race+ .e was crippledF .e likel' needed help Eust 1ettin1 to the kin1Is table+ So it is with us+ B' =odIs 1racious acceptance of us in 0hrist we are sa4ed and b' that same 1race alone we stand K?omans &/"L+ *or an'one who has an1ril' tried to protect themsel4es from bein1 reEected, it seems too 1ood to be true+ *or an'one who has tried so hard to look 1reat, do 1ood, dress ri1ht, perform well, achie4e more, and earn much, the truth of =odIs unconditional lo4e and acceptance in 0hrist can be the most wonderful news ima1inable+ -n contrast to the 4ain American quest for the perfect bod', the =od who created us in our motherIs wombs Ksee 5salm 1#9/1#@ 1 L offers the perfect lo4e+ And .e accepts us completel' and unconditionall' in 0hristBba1s and sa1s includedF (here is no de1ree 'ou can obtain, no salar' 'ou can

1ain, no position of power 'ou can hold, no le4el of health, fitness, or beaut' 'ou can reach that will cause =od to lo4e and accept 'ou one bit more than .e does ri1ht now+ Nor is there an'thin1 that 'ou as a child of =od can do to cause .im to lo4e and accept 'ou less+ =od lo4es us because .e is lo4e+ -t is .is nature to lo4e us+ (hou1h .e hates our sin, .e lo4es usBbefore we sin, after we sin, e4en while we are sinnin1+ O#r Sec#ri!y Co"es /ro" !he E!ern l God 8ur personal sense of securit' must not be based on temporal thin1s that we ha4e no ri1ht or abilit' to control, because our securit' comes from an eternal relationship with =od that cannot be shaken, accordin1 to the apostle 5aul/ -f =od is for us, who is a1ainst usM .e who did not spare .is own Son, but deli4ered .im o4er for us all, how will .e not also with .im freel' 1i4e us all thin1sM Q*or - am con4inced that neither death, nor life, nor an1els, nor principalities, nor thin1s present, nor thin1s to come, nor powers, nor hei1ht, nor depth, nor an' other created thin1, will be able to separate us from the lo4e of =od, which is in 0hrist :esus our )ord K?omans $/#1@#",#$@#9L+ Sec#ri!y Thro#$h O#r Ado%!ion 1y God About two 'ears a1o m' wife, Shirle', our three kidsB <ichelle, Brian, and ;mil'Band - took a trip to

(hailand+ Althou1h we did some 4acationin1 while there, that wasnIt the main purpose of the trip+ 8ur main reason for tra4elin1 halfwa' around the world was to adopt )uke+ )uke was four 'ears old and likel' had no idea what was 1oin1 on when we picked him up from the orphana1e+ But he willin1l' walked hand in hand with us down the sidewalk, into the waitin1 mini4an, and off to a totall' new life+ Suddenl' )uke was li4in1 in a new countr' and had become part of a new famil' who spoke a new lan1ua1e and practiced a new faith+ .e now wears new clothes, has had to learn to eat new food Kno problemFL, sleep in a new bed, and pla' with new to's in a new house+ .e 1oes to a new school, has new friends and new nei1hbors in a new nei1hborhood with a new, cold climate, where new plants and new animals li4e+ ;4er'thin1 was and is newF ;4er'thin1 eCcept much of )ukeIs beha4ior, that is+ .e still li4es much of the time as if he were still in the orphana1e+ (hou1h he is now almost se4en 'ears old, he still has to wear a diaper, hoards food, hasnIt learned to share, 'ells and screams when upset, and eChibits a host of other not@so@endearin1 beha4iors+ But none of that alters the fact that he is our son and alwa's will be+ <uch of his beha4ior is still un@<iller, but b' identit' and position he is le1all' a <iller b' adoption+ .e was no accidentBwe chose him+

Dhen )ukeIs adoption was finaliJed, we recei4ed from the Superior 0ourt of =winnett 0ount', State of =eor1ia, a document entitled 6*inal :ud1ment and >ecree of Adoption+7 .ere is an eCcerpt from that document/ -( -S .;?;BG 8?>;?;>, A>:U>=;>, and >;0?;;> that the 5etition for Adoption is 1ranted and that this *inal :ud1ment and >ecree of Adoption be entered+ (he 0ourt hereb' terminates all the ri1hts of the biolo1ical parents to said child, and the 0ourt hereb' declares the child to be the adopted child of the 5etitioners, capable of inheritin1 their respecti4e estates accordin1 to law, and that the name of said child shall hereafter be known as :oshua )uke Saibua <iller+ 0hild of =od, 'our final Eud1ment and decree of adoption has been entered into the )ambIs book of life in the courts of hea4enF All the ri1hts of 'our former spiritual father, Satan, ha4e been terminatedF Gou are now a child of the true and li4in1 =od and a co@heir with 0hristF ;4er'thin1 is new for 'ou, tooF 5aul wrote, 6-f an'one is in 0hrist, he is a new creatureH the old thin1s passed awa'H behold, new thin1s ha4e come7 K" 0orinthians &/1%L+ Gou, too, ha4e to learn a new lan1ua1e, practice a new faith, and relate to new famil' members+ Gou ha4e new 1arments of ri1hteousness, and 'ou can eat from the bread of life and drink from the fountain of man' waters+ And 'ou,

too, will one da' recei4e a new name K?e4elation "/1%L+ ;4en when 'ou act as if 'ou are back in the domain of darkness and soil 'our soul, =od the *ather 1ladl' cleans 'ou up and restores 'ou to health and wholeness throu1h 0hrist and .is shed blood+ Res!in$ in !he Sec#reness o/ O#r Iden!i!y 8ur son )uke is not afraid weIll 1i4e him up, and 'ou ou1ht ne4er to fear =odIs reEection+ ?emember, there was nothin1 but the 1racious lo4e of =od that mo4ed .im to choose 'ou in the first place+ (herefore, there is nothin1 in 'ou that can make .im chan1e .is mind, because =od does not chan1e K<alachi #/ L+ )uke is not concerned about whether his needs for food, clothin1, shelter, and lo4e will be met+ And neither should 'ou be+ =od has promised to suppl' all 'our needs accordin1 to .is riches in 1lor' in 0hrist :esus K5hilippians 2/19L+ So man' people are an1r' because the' ha4e ne4er known that or ha4enIt belie4ed it to be true+ De must learn to rest in the secure relationship we ha4e with the *ather as .is precious childrenF .e is faithful+ .e is responsible+ And .e cares for 'ou K1 5eter &/%L+ Gou are secure in .imF >r+ 5ackerIs eCuberance o4er understandin1 his identit' in 0hrist is conta1ious+

<eanwhile, the immediate messa1e to our heartsQis surel' this/ >o -, as a 0hristian, understand m'selfM >o - know m' own real identit'M <' own real destin'M - am a child of =od+ =od is m' *atherH hea4en is m' homeH e4er' da' is one da' nearer+ <' Sa4ior is m' brotherH e4er' 0hristian is m' brother, too+ Sa' it o4er and o4er to 'ourself the first thin1 in the mornin1, last thin1 at ni1ht, as 'ou wait for the bus, an' time when 'our mind is free, and ask that 'ou ma' be enabled to li4e as one who knows it is all utterl' and completel' true+ *or this is the 0hristianIs secret ofBa happ' lifeM B'es, certainl', but we ha4e somethin1 both hi1her and profounder to sa'+ (his is the 0hristianIs secret of a 0hristian life, and of a =od@honorin1 lifeH and these are the aspects of the situation that reall' matter+ <a' this secret become full' 'ours, and full' mine+# DonIt 'ou ri1ht now release all 'our needs and wants into the hands of 'our all@powerful, all@wise, all@lo4in1 hea4enl' *atherM DonIt 'ou release to .im all 'our an1er o4er not 1ettin1 the acceptance, securit', appro4al, respect, and rewards that 'ou think 'ou deser4e from peopleM Le! & #l-s )ords 1rin$ co"/or! nd he lin$ !o yo#' Gou ha4e not recei4ed a spirit of sla4er' leadin1 to fear a1ain, but 'ou ha4e recei4ed a spirit of adoption as sons b' which we cr' out, 6AbbaF *atherF7 (he Spirit .imself testifies with our spirit that we are children of =od, and if children, heirs also, heirs of =od and fellow heirs with 0hrist, if indeed we suffer

with .im so that we ma' also be 1lorified with .im K?omans $/1&@1%L+ Tr#e Si$ni/ic nce Is 6in Chris!7 *inall', how man' people, e4en 0hristians, operate with a constant low@1rade fe4er of frustration because the' feel what the' do in life is meanin1lessM *or the belie4er, this is an unnecessar' burden to bear, because in 0hrist our li4es ha4e 1reat si1nificance+ 0hristian, 'ou are the salt of the earth and li1ht of the world K<atthew &/1#@12LF Dhate4er 'our callin1 or 4ocation, 'ou can 6let 'our li1ht shine before men in such a wa' that the' ma' see 'our 1ood works, and 1lorif' 'our *ather who is in hea4en7 K<atthew &/1 L+ (o li4e in a wa' that points people to the true =od is supremel' important, whether 'ou do it as a businessman or blue@collar worker, minister or mother+ <' wife, Shirle', had spent 12 'ears in 4er' fruitful fulltime ministr' with teens and their adult leaders before <ichelle came alon1+ (hen came Brian and ;mil' and )uke as well+ 0han1in1 diapers, cleanin1 up spills, nursin1 in the middle of the ni1ht, and sta'in1 home with sick kids while her husband tra4els and speaks can seem mundane and wearisome b' comparison+ But she is still in fulltime ministr'+ >espite the lastin1 impact she made on the teena1ers she formerl' worked with, the in4estment she is makin1 in our children is of 1reat, eternal si1nificance+ (heir future spouses and children will one da' rise up and

call Shirle' blessed+ No matter what 'ou do for a li4in1, will 'ou allow =od to inEect into the e4er'da' a new sense of the eternalM Si1nificance is related to time+ Dhat is for1otten in time is of little si1nificance, but what is remembered for all eternit' is of 1reat si1nificance+ (hat is wh' there are no insi1nificant children of =od+ De shall li4e with our hea4enl' *ather for all eternit'+ Si1nificance comes from faithfull' li4in1 in the will of =od and b' lettin1 'our li1ht shine+ Be All +o# Are C lled !o Be Are 'ou an1r' because 'ou feel like 'ou are li4in1 an insi1nificant lifeM All =od is askin1 from 'ou is that 'ou be the person .e has called 'ou to be and that 'ou fulfill the ministr' .e has 1i4en 'ou+ All these thin1s are from =od, who reconciled us to .imself throu1h 0hrist and 1a4e us the ministr' of reconciliation, namel', that =od was in 0hrist reconcilin1 the world to .imself, not countin1 their trespasses a1ainst them, and .e has committed to us the word of reconciliation+ (herefore, we are ambassadors for 0hrist, as thou1h =od were makin1 an appeal throu1h usH we be1 'ou on behalf of 0hrist, be reconciled to =od+ .e made .im who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we mi1ht become the ri1hteousness of =od in .im K" 0orinthians &/1$@"1L+

(he time is short+ 5eople need the )ord+ -n4est 'our life wholeheartedl' in the proclamation of the 1ospel to those around 'ou+ *aithfull' fulfill 'our callin1 as a minister of reconciliation, a peacemaker+ And know that the 1race of =od is the most powerful force for chan1e on earth+ 8nce 'ou ha4e trul' embraced it 'ourself, 'ou are qualified and equipped to spread it to others+ And Eust watch what happens when 'ou do+ .ereIs a stor' of that amaJin1 1race/ Dhen - was 'oun1, - was seCuall' abused b' m' father+ (his wasnIt a frequent e4ent b' an' means+ onl' remember it happenin1 once+ - donIt recall details, but - remember enou1h to know that thin1s happened that shouldnIt ha4e happened between a father and dau1hter+ Dhen - was sa4ed in 19$$, - was #& 'ears old+ - felt a release from an1er almost immediatel'+ (here was an internal peace - had ne4er known+ .owe4er, se4en 'ears later - found m'self still stru11lin1 around m' fatherIs birthda' and *atherIs >a'Bthose occasions that required a card or call+ ne4er was able to pick a card that said 6- lo4e 'ou7 or an' other intimate sentiment+ -t was troublin1 to me, and so finall' one da' durin1 m' de4otions - brou1ht this up to the )ord+ - asked, 6)ord, wh' do - 1o throu1h these stru11les around these timesM7 (he answer came quickl' and clearl'+ -t was simpl', 6Gou donIt

respect him+7 - started to obEect, la'in1 all the 1roundwork for the ar1ument that 6one needs to earn respect,7 and so on+ - realiJed after a few minutes how useless m' ar1uments were+ All - heard was silence+ - asked the )ord, 6-s this a sin a1ainst GouM7 A1ain, the response was quick and clear+ 6Ges+7 - felt de4astated, but at the same time free+ - confessed the sin, and then the .ol' Spirit 1raciousl' flooded me with memories of the times m' father had done thin1s that deser4ed m' respect, but - had deliberatel' withheld it+ Dithin a few weeks of this eCperience, - was talkin1 to m' dad on the phone+ (A)9-N=F De had ne4er had a con4ersation before+ (his con4ersation lasted almost 1& minutesF (hat was the lon1est - had e4er talked to m' dad+ At the end of the con4ersation we both said that we lo4ed each other+ -t wasnIt Eust words, but somethin1 we both felt sincerel'+ <' dad passed awa' this past *ebruar', which was about four 'ears after that de4otional time+ Dhen was 4isitin1 him in his last few weeks, - asked him for for1i4eness for the times - was unkind and disrespectful+ - also told him that - for1a4e him+ - didnIt 1o into detail of what it was - was for1i4in1 him forH it was sufficient that we both knew+ (he 4er' neCt da' asked him if he would pra' to :esus and ask for for1i4eness of his sins+ .e didF - praise =od for this, as he had alwa's been eCtremel' resistant to the 1ospel+ - praise =od for the words .e 1a4e to me at the end of

m' dadIs earthl' life+ - ha4e peace knowin1 that m' dad is with =od now and that - will see him a1ain in eternit'+ >ear hea4enl' *ather, thank Gou for Gour life in me, for makin1 all thin1s new a1ain+ (hank Gou for restorin1 to me the life, di1nit', Eo', intimac' with Gou, acceptance, securit', and si1nificance that had been lost throu1h sin+ 8pen the e'es of m' heart, )ord, so that - can be1in to 1rasp the full eCtent of Gour care and pro4ision for me, so that - will ne4er a1ain look for life and lo4e in the wron1 places+ - now ask that Gou would liberate and empower me to freel' eCpress to others this wonderful 1race of :esus+ -n .is name pra', amen+

C(A&TER A The Need !o For$i,e An1er is brief madness and, unchecked, becomes protracted madness, brin1in1 shame and e4en death+ B5;(?A?0. (his was the most important ni1ht of m' life,7 the 'oun1 man said after a messa1e - had Eust 1i4en at a conference in New Gork+ Dhile - was speakin1 on our need to for1i4e others who ha4e hurt us, - had noticed that he was cr'in1+ *riends had 1athered around his wheelchair to console him ri1ht after - was throu1h speakin1+ .e had wheeled o4er to me a few minutes later as - was 1atherin1 m' materials to lea4e+ After we had talked briefl', - set up an appointment to meet with him and a close friend the followin1 mornin1+ - was curious to know what =od was doin1 in his life+ 6:effre', can 'ou tell me wh' last e4enin1 was the most important ni1ht in 'our lifeM7 - asked, leanin1 forward and fiCin1 m' e'es on his+ 6- was born prematurel', and while - was bein1 transferred from one medical facilit' to another, - was denied the oC'1en - needed,7 he be1an+

:effre' was unable to walk or use his arms+ .is hands were locked in a clawlike position+ -f his wei1ht happened to shift forward or sidewa's too much, he would ha4e to 1et help to be set strai1ht a1ain+ .e was, in one sense, trapped in a bod' that would not and could not do what his eCtremel' sharp mind told it to+ But he had spent 19 'ears in bonda1e of another sort as well, as he went on to eCplain+ 6- ha4e been so an1r' with =od and those people who did that to me+ - ha4e pra'ed so man' times that could be healed, but nothin1+ <' sister was in an industrial accident and a hea4' piece of machiner' fell on her foot and crushed it+ After se4eral months, she went to a healin1 ser4ice in a church and =od miraculousl' healed her+ 68f course - was happ' for her+ But - couldnIt help cr'in1 out to =od, RDh' her, )ord, and not meM She was crippled for a few monthsH -I4e been this wa' for 19 'earsFI 7 9nowin1 that :effre' had eCperienced more pain and sufferin1 in 19 'ears than - likel' will in a lifetime, - had enou1h sense to sta' quiet and Eust listen+ 6)ast ni1ht, - was finall' able to for1i4e those men who had done that to me when - was a newborn+7 - Eust sat there in silence for a while, drinkin1 in the holiness of that moment+ After a while, :effre' made the decision to let 1o of the an1er that he had

harbored a1ainst =od for allowin1 all this to happen+ -n some wa's this was e4en harder for him+ As part of the healin1 process, :effre' then went on to thank =od for the parts of his bod' that didnIt work+ (hen he pra'ed and asked =od to 1lorif' .imself throu1h his le1s, arms, and hands, one b' one+ As we concluded our time to1ether, - told :effre', 6Gou know, there are millions of 0hristians walkin1 around with stron1, able bodies, but who are in deep emotional and spiritual bonda1e+ Because of 'our decision to for1i4e and release 'our an1er, :effre', e4en thou1h 'ou are confined to this wheelchair, 'ou are more free than an' of themF71 Li,in$ )i!h Wo#nds :effre' had what the Bible calls 6infirmities7 K9:,L or 6weaknesses+7 Stron1Is 0oncordance defines them as 6feebleness Kof bod' or mindLH b' OimplicationP malad'H Omoreo4erP frailt'/ disease, infirmit', sickness, weakness+7" ,ineIs ;Cpositor' >ictionar' uses these words of 6infirmit'7/ 6want of stren1th,Qweakness, indicatin1 inabilit' to produce results+7# -nfirmities or weaknesses are woundsB4isible or hiddenBthat inhibit our abilit' to perform at a hi1her le4el+ (he' cause us to be feeble, frail, helpless, inefficientH deficient in stren1th, di1nit', or power+ (he' can be ph'sical conditions, but the' also can be mental, emotional, or spiritual+

:effre' is not alone in his weaknesses+ De all ha4e them+ De ha4e holes or wounds or both in our souls that are there because of someone elseIs abuse, ne1lect, i1norance, irresponsibilit', maliciousness, or foolishness+ Some infirmities are simpl' the b'@product of li4in1 in a fallen world+ De ha4e all been 4ictims of people or circumstances to one de1ree or another+ (here are no promises that we will not be 4ictimiJed a1ain, but as belie4ers in 0hrist we need no lon1er li4e as 4ictims+ (hat is the beaut' and power of the presence of 0hrist in our li4es+ (hou1h we cannot turn the clock back and chan1e our past, we can be free from its ne1ati4e control o4er us+ Dhen we make the decision to for1i4e others from the heart, we set oursel4es free from the past to be 4ictorious o4ercomers and more than conquerors throu1h .im who lo4ed us K?omans $/#%L+ After a recent phone con4ersation with a friend, - was struck b' 1rief+ After 'ears of sufferin1 throu1h the disco4er' that his wife had been seCuall' abused b' a relati4e, m' friend and his wife more recentl' had to endure the a1on' of findin1 out that their oldest dau1hter had been the manIs pre' as well+ Now it appears that their 'oun1est dau1hter was also 4ictimiJed, most likel' as an infant and toddler+ (hou1h the perpetrator is behind bars, ser4in1 what amounts to a life sentence, the pain is still there+ <' friend said honestl', 6-f he 1ot out of prison, -Id kill him+7

- know this man, and - donIt belie4e he would reall' do that, because he lo4es :esus too much to take that kind of re4en1e+ But the pain is real and the wound is raw+ (he whole famil' is reelin1 from an infirmit' that will take the 1race of =od to heal+ Bes#s W s Wo#nded Too :esus doesnIt 4iew our infirmities coldl' and dispassionatel' from .is throne in the sk', for we do not ha4e a .i1h 5riest who cannot s'mpathiJe with our weaknesses OinfirmitiesP, but was in all points tempted as we are, 'et without sin+ )et us therefore come boldl' to the throne of 1race, that we ma' obtain merc' and find 1race to help in time of need K.ebrews 2/1&@1 N9:,L+ (he )ord :esus .imself went throu1h the most heinous reEection, torture, and abuse e4er perpetrated on a man, b' d'in1 on the cross for our sins+ De cannot e4en be1in to comprehend the unspeakable horror of the .ol' 8ne becomin1 sin for us K" 0orinthians &/"1L+ And 'et throu1hout all the hell .e went throu1h, :esus ne4er sinned+ O#r Res%onse !o Wo#nds Sufferin1 is not a license to sin+ -nfirmit' is not an eCcuse for iniquit'+ ;Cperiencin1 hurt is not resol4ed b' 1ettin1 bitter+ Bein1 wounded oursel4es does not 1i4e us permission to wound others+

-n our woundedness we cr' out that it isnIt fairBand it seems onl' Eust that we pa' others back for the pain weI4e been 1i4en+ But listen to 5eterIs description of how :esus handled the eCcruciatin1 pain that sinful men inflicted on .im, and note the ramifications for those of us who are .is followers/ (his finds fa4or, if for the sake of conscience toward =od a man bears up under sorrows when sufferin1 unEustl'+ *or what credit is there if, when 'ou sin and are harshl' treated, 'ou endure it with patienceM But if when 'ou do what is ri1ht and suffer for it 'ou patientl' endure it, this finds fa4or with =od+ *or 'ou ha4e been called for this purpose, since 0hrist also suffered for 'ou, lea4in1 'ou an eCample for 'ou to follow in .is steps, who committed no sin, nor was an' deceit found in .is mouthH and while bein1 re4iled, .e did not re4ile in returnH while sufferin1, .e uttered no threats, but kept entrustin1 .imself to .im who Eud1es ri1hteousl' K1 5eter "/19@"#L+ Unfortunatel', we cannot claim that same clean slate of sinless treatment of our fellow man+ (hou1h =od has eCtended to us total for1i4eness in 0hrist, we ha4e not alwa's eCtended that same 1race and merc' toward those who ha4e hurt us+ De ha4e often harbored an1er, resentment and bitterness toward others+ For$i,eness3The Only W y O#! Dhen 5eter asked :esus how man' times it was

necessar' to for1i4e, the disciple 4olunteered what must ha4e seemed to him a 1enerous number, se4en+ :esus, of course, told him that wasnIt sufficient+ Se4ent' times se4en was more like it+ -n other words, donIt keep track, but as man' times as someone sins a1ainst 'ou, for1i4e K<atthew 1$/"1@""L+ (o dri4e home .is point e4en more stron1l', :esus followed with a stor' K1$/"#@#&L+ (he 1ist of it was that a certain kin1 decided to declare a 6National >ebt 5a'off >a'+7 (he clock had run out on e4er'one who still owed him mone'+ -t was 6pa' up or else+7 8ne man came before the kin1 owin1 the equi4alent of millions of dollars+ (he debt was wa' be'ond what he could earn in a lifetime+ .e pulled out the loose chan1e in his pocket, looked in his wallet, 4isited the A(<, called his stockbroker, checked the status of his portfolio on the -nternet Ka loose translationL, and still found himself se4eral million short+ (he kin1 decided to cut his losses b' sellin1 the man, his wife, and his children as sla4es+ .is home and all his possessions were 1oin1 to 1o on the auction block as well+ (he kin1 had a ri1ht to do all this because he was, after all, the kin1F ?ealiJin1 that he was about to lose e4er'thin1 he owned and e4er'one he lo4ed, the man fell down before the kin1 and pleaded for merc'+ AmaJin1l', the kin1 heard his plea and cancelled the entire debt+

-ncredibleF (he man was free, and e4er'thin1 that he was about to lose was restored to him+ 8n his wa' home he happened to meet a 1u' who owed him a few thousand dollarsBabout siC monthIs wa1es+ No small chan1e, but chicken feed compared to what the first man had owed the kin1+ Unbelie4abl', the first man was unwillin1 to cancel the debt of the second, and had him thrown in prison+ Dord 1ot out and tra4eled back to the kin1, who was not pleased at all+ )etIs 1o directl' to :esusI words to catch the endin1/ (hen summonin1 him, his lord said to him, 6Gou wicked sla4e, - for1a4e 'ou all that debt because 'ou pleaded with me+ Should 'ou not also ha4e had merc' on 'our fellow sla4e, in the same wa' that - had merc' on 'ouM7 And his lord, mo4ed with an1er, handed him o4er to the torturers until he should repa' all that was owed him K4erses #"@#2L+ (hat is a soberin1 enou1h conclusion to the stor' as is, but :esus didnIt stop there+ .e added an epilo1ue for the disciples then and for 'ou and me toda' K4erse #&L/ 6<' hea4enl' *ather will also do the same to 'ou, if each of 'ou does not for1i4e his brother from 'our heart+7 The T#r"oil o/ Un/or$i,eness Dhat was :esus referrin1 to when .e spoke of bein1, 6handedQo4er to the torturers7M :esus doesnIt eCplain

what the' are in this passa1e of Scripture, but the root word means 6to eCperience pain, toil, or torment, and to toss or 4eC+72 0learl' then, the phrase 6the torturers7 is referrin1 to those natural or supernatural forces that cause intense pain and turmoil of the bod' and soul+ *rederick Buechner said it about as pointedl' as one can/ 8f the se4en deadl' sins, an1er is possibl' the most fun+ (o lick 'our wounds, to smack 'our lips o4er 1rie4ances lon1 past, to sa4or to the last toothsome morsel both the pain 'ou are 1i4en and the pain 'ou are 1i4in1 back+ -n man' wa's it is a feast fit for a kin1+ (he chief drawback is that what 'ou are wolfin1 down is 'ourself+ (he skeleton at the feast is 'ou+& (here is onl' one wa' out of the bonda1e of bitterness, and that is b' for1i4in1 from the heart, as described in this womanIs stor'/ (here was a time in m' life when - was an1r' with e4er'oneF <' mom left when - was 1$ and m' father kicked me out, m' husband cheated on me and m' oldest child wasnIt perfectF (here came a point in time fi4e 'ears a1o when m' child was taken from me and was accused of all sorts of thin1s+ - became 4er' an1r' and 4en1eful+ Nothin1 seemed to workF 8ne ni1ht - was alone in the house and - picked up NeilIs book (he Bonda1e Breaker and read throu1h it+ be1an 1oin1 throu1h the 6Steps to *reedom in 0hrist7

and when - 1ot to the section on for1i4eness the list was so lon1 - had to take the phone off the hook+ As be1an to pra', the picture came to mind of me stru11lin1 throu1h life pullin1 a hu1e ba1 of 6stuff 7 behind me+ (hen the picture chan1ed to that of 0hrist carr'in1 that ba1 with the cross up to 0al4ar'+ *reedom cameBto lo4e people as the' are and to for1i4e and li4eF (he 6temper7 - thou1ht was hereditar' left and - was free to for1i4e as 0hrist for1a4e me+ Is Un/or$i,eness n O%!ion. Are some thin1s so terrible that the' should ne4er be for1i4enM (he editors of 5arade <a1aJine seem to think so+ Dhile we ma' admire those who can find for1i4eness in their hearts, for1i4eness ma' not alwa's be the answer+ Andrew ,achss, a writer and attorne' who represents abused children, has noted/ 6A particularl' pernicious m'th for 4ictims of abuse is that Rhealin1 requires for1i4enessI of the abuser+7 (his onl' leads to further 4ictimiJation, he added+QAnd there are some thin1s that cannot beBand should not e4er beB for1i4en+ As ;lie Diesel, the Nobel )aureate and .olocaust sur4i4or, said in a pra'er at the &!th Anni4ersar' of the liberation of AuschwitJ/ 6=od of for1i4eness, do not for1i4e those murderers of :ewish children here+7 -f 'ou ha4e suffered 1reatl' in 'our life, there ma' be a part of 'our heart that resonates with ;lie DieselIs

words+ 5erhaps an1ril' so+ Gou mi1ht be sa'in1, 6.ow can 'ou tell me to for1i4eM Gou donIt know how much this person has hurt meF7 GouIre ri1ht, we donIt+ But we do know that the person is still hurtin1 'ou, because the pain is still ob4iousl' there and 'ou are still bound to the past+ Gou donIt heal in order to for1i4e+ Gou for1i4e in order to heal+ Althou1h we wish we had the opportunit' to sit down with 'ou and hear 'our stor', that is Eust not possible+ *ortunatel', :esus knows, and .e is willin1 and able to hear 'our stor', heal 'our wounds, and set 'ou free from 'our past throu1h for1i4enessBfirst .is for1i4eness of 'our sins, and then 'our for1i4eness of others+ The W y o/ (e lin$ -n rebuttal to <r+ ,achssIs comments, for1i4eness is indeed necessar' for healin1+ But for1i4eness does not mean toleratin1 sin and placin1 oneself back under the power of an abuser+ =od ne4er tolerates sin, and neither should we+ De must take appropriate steps to protect oursel4es from continuin1 abuse+ -n some cases that ma' mean separation from an abusi4e famil' member, or it ma' e4en mean callin1 the police+ -n milder cases it ma' mean simpl' learnin1 to sa' 6no7 to people who tr' to take ad4anta1e of 'ou, settin1 wise boundaries to protect 'ourself from bein1 used b' people+ -f 'ou or someone 'ou lo4e is in an abusi4e situation, 1et help+ As 0hristians we are not called to passi4el' accept the inEustices of life+ =od has ordained the

hi1her authorit' of 1o4ernment to protect us from criminal beha4ior+ And the church ou1ht to step in to 1i4e counsel, aid, and sanctuar' to the hurtin1 people =od sends her wa' K)uke 1!/"9@#%L+ (o <r+ Diesel, we would sa' that =odIs for1i4eness of an' sin, includin1 the sins of .olocaust 4illains, is contin1ent on one thin1 and one thin1 aloneBsinnersI repentance and trust in :esus 0hrist as the Sa4ior who made atonement for their sin+ Dhether the' recei4e =odIs for1i4eness is between those people and =od .imself+ But the necessit' for us as =odIs people to for1i4e the offender is commanded in Scripture K0olossians #/&@$,1"@1#L/ 0onsider the members of 'our earthl' bod' as dead to immoralit', impurit', passion, e4il desire, and 1reed, which amounts to idolatr'+ *or it is because of these thin1s that the wrath of =od will come upon the sons of disobedience, and in them 'ou also once walked, when 'ou were li4in1 in them+ But now 'ou also, put them all aside/ an1er, wrath, malice, slander, and abusi4e speech from 'our mouth+QSo, as those who ha4e been chosen of =od, hol' and belo4ed, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humilit', 1entleness and patienceH bearin1 with one another, and for1i4in1 each other, whoe4er has a complaint a1ainst an'oneH Eust as the )ord for1a4e 'ou, so also should 'ou+ De donIt for1i4e another person for his or her sake+ De do it for our own sake+ (o for1i4e is to set a capti4e freeBand then realiJe that we were the capti4e+ Dhat

is to be 1ained b' for1i4in1 is freedom from our past+ -f we fail to for1i4e, we can eCperience serious mental torment, bein1 haunted b' our painful memories and trauma+ The Need !o For$i,e After the 199% shootin1 deaths of three 1irls at .eath .i1h School in Dest 5aducah, 9entuck', some of the 1rie4in1 families filed wron1ful death suits a1ainst the school district+ (hat is not particularl' surprisin1, but what is unsettlin1 is that lawsuits were also filed a1ainst the police, the parents of killer <ichael 0arneal, and e4en a1ainst se4en students who alle1edl' had ad4ance notice of the crime+ Unbelie4abl', e4en the 'oun1 man who led the school pra'er circle and talked 0arneal into 1i4in1 up his weapon has been named as a defendant+% (he stor' of the shootin1 at 0olumbine .i1h School is similar+ At one point at least 19 families had filed suit or intent@to@sue notices in the wake of the sprin1 1999 sla'in1s+ Amon1 them, to the cha1rin of local residents, were (om and Susan 9lebold, who claimed that authorities should ha4e warned them to keep their son, >'lan Kone of the murderersL, awa' from ;ric .arris, who is belie4ed to ha4e been the insti1ator behind the horror+$ And that was not the end of the an1r' contro4ers' that welled up in the aftermath of the 0olumbine massacre/

(he an1er o4er the killin1s continues to boil o4er into e4er'da' life+ A contro4ers' erupted, for instance, o4er whether the 0olumbine librar', where man' of the students were shot, should be reno4ated and left where it is or mo4ed to a new location in the school+ Another battle brewed when the school in4ited all studentsI families to paint tiles to be affiCed to the wall abo4e the hall lockers+ 8ne stipulation was that the tiles not ha4e a reli1ious theme, lest the' pro4oke lawsuits protestin1 an affront to the separation of church and state+ Dhen some families i1nored the rule, the' were either denied the chance to put up tiles or had their artwork chiseled off the wallsBa polic' that, predictabl', tri11ered a lawsuit+ (hen, in September, se4eral parents of shootin1 4ictims cut down two linden trees, s'mboliJin1 9lebold and .arris, amon1 1& that had been planted at a local church to memorialiJe all who died at 0olumbine+9 -s their an1er EustifiedM -s their subsequent beha4ior EustifiedM Some of these people ha4e suffered tremendous losses+ -s it realistic to eCpect them not to be an1r' and to act out their an1erM -s it ri1ht that =od calls these people who ha4e been so deepl' traumatiJed to for1i4eM Freedo" /ro" !he & s! (he followin1 stor' demonstrates that for1i4eness in the face of a horrible atrocit' is not onl' possible but necessar' if one is e4er to be free from the past+ (om BowersI sister, <ar1ie, was brutall' murdered b'

(homas ,anda, and (om 4owed ne4er to for1i4e him+ (he son of forei1n missionaries, (om recounts how he felt at ,andaIs trial/ 8ne 'ear after the murder - sat in a courtroom+ As the trial unfolded - felt a burnin1 an1er+ (he prosecutor presented the horrific details of that April ni1ht+ ,anda eCpressed no remorse+ NoneF As - sat directl' behind the smirkin1 killer, it crossed m' mind more than once that - could reach across the railin1 and stran1le him+1! After 'ears of stru11lin1 with how to be free from the an1er and torment inside, =odIs words filled (omIs mind one da' while he was dri4in1 throu1h the Blue ?id1e <ountains+ -tIs time+ :ust for1i4e+11 (omIs testimon' is one of o4ercomin1 an an1er that had festered for too lon1/ <ar1ie would not ha4e wanted m' torment to continue+ =od did not want it+ -n obedience to =od as well as for m' own sake, - had to for1i4e+ At last - said the words aloud and with con4iction/ 6(homas ,anda, for1i4e 'ou+7 - said them a1ain and a1ain+ 6(homas ,anda, - for1i4e 'ou+7 As - declared m' for1i4eness, a crushin1 burden lifted from me and - was filled with a transcendent peace+ - finall' understood ;stherIs words/ 6- ha4e been 1i4en win1s+7 O;sther was <ar1ieIs roommate and (homas ,andaIs eC@1irlfriend+ She had needed to for1i4e herself for not bein1 there when <ar1ie was killed, for ;sther was the one ,anda was reall' after+ Dhen she did for1i4e herself, the

freedom she eCperienced was like bein1 1i4en win1s to fl'+P1" De can read these stories with detached interest, ma'be e4en secretl' wonderin1 wh' it is takin1 some of them so lon1 to 61et o4er it7 and 61et on with life+7 <ost of us ha4e not suffered such ni1htmarish horror, but we all ha4e been hurt b' someone else+ Nursin1 small 1rud1es can keep us in bonda1e and disrupt our fellowship with =od as much as bitterness can in the wake of se4ere trauma+ <a'be we a4oid others in church because of an unkind or thou1htless word spoken 'ears a1o+ De dread famil' reunions because 6that person7 will be there+ De spend eCtra hours at the office because we donIt want to face the conflicts at home+ Unresol4ed an1er, resentment, and bitterness can cause man' to be defiled K.ebrews 1"/1&L+ We C n For$i,e As Chris! For$ ,e (he 1ood news is that :esus 0hrist knows what it means to suffer much more than we will e4er suffer+ And .e knows what it means to for1i4e, for .e did so on the cross+ (hou1h full' =od, :esus was also full' man+ .e suffered as a man+ .e died as a man+ .e also for1a4e as a man+ .e did not secretl' turn off .is humanit' on the cross and thus somehow become dulled to the intense sufferin1 of crucifiCion+ Dhen the nails were hammered throu1h .is wrists, .e felt real pain+ Dhen .e 1asped for air, .e felt real a1on'+ Dhen .e bled, .e felt real weakness+ Dhen .e died,

.is brain and heart reall' stopped workin1+ And when .e said, 6*ather, for1i4e themH for the' do not know what the' are doin17 K)uke "#/#2L, .e 1a4e real hope+ *or the same :esus li4es in all true children of =od, and .e is alwa's there to 1i4e us the 1race to for1i4e+ We C n For$i,e O#rsel,es As Chris! For$ ,e Us *or some people, the hardest person to for1i4e is the one the' see in the mirror+ )ookin1 back on a life ra4a1ed b' their own wron1 choices, sinful beha4ior, and ruined relationships, their hearts are wracked with 1uilt, shame, and re1ret+ (his personal eCperience illustrates that serious problem/ - am still learnin1 how to be free from m' an1er+ - ha4e come a lon1 wa', but still ha4e a lon1 wa' to 1o+ 1rew up in a 4iolent home and was subEected to seCual abuse b' a famil' member+ (here was also di4orce and all it destro's in the famil'+ <' famil' was middle@class and 4er' concerned about lookin1 61ood7 to others and hidin1+ - was therefore 1i4en to an1r' outbursts toward Eust about e4er'one and e4er'thin1+ was also consumed with unfor1i4eness, which led me to destructi4e beha4ior Kdru1s, seC, and so onL+ Dhen - met :esus, man' thin1s were healed and eCperienced 1reat freedom+ <' an1er was not so easil' released, howe4er+ - ha4e spent the last se4eral 'ears learnin1 who - am in 0hrist, how to for1i4e others, and how to for1i4e m'self+ (he last one has

been the hardest, and m' an1er is sometimes directed toward m'self or m' failures+ (hou1h we ma' be con4inced of the power of the shed blood of :esus to cleanse others from all sin, sometimes we 4iew oursel4es as the eCception+ Seein1 firsthand how we ha4e messed up our li4es and the li4es of others, we listen to the accuser of the brethren as he relentlessl' assaults us with his litan' of lies+ Because we instincti4el' know that sin should be punished, we allow his brutal barra1e to continue, feelin1 it is Eustified+ De ha4e come to belie4e that we should feel bad for what weI4e done+ -f this is 'our life in a nutshell, it is time to stop 1i4in1 in to the 6bull' of 'our soul+7 -t is time to stop listenin1 to and belie4in1 his lies, lies such as 6<' life is ruined and be'ond repair7H 6=od has put me on the shelf 7H 6-Ill ne4er amount to an'thin17H 6-Im onl' 1ettin1 what deser4e+7 O#r For$i,eness Is 6in Chris!7 De hope that 'ou read chapters siC and se4en Kon =odIs 1raceL with an open heart+ Gou ma' need to read them a1ain and a1ain, lookin1 up and meditatin1 upon the Scriptures we ha4e considered+ -n time, the truth of 'our total for1i4eness and cleansin1 in 0hrist will become real to 'ou in 'our emotions+ (hese thin1s are alread' completel' true of 'ou in 0hristH ri1ht now the' Eust ma' not feel real+

0hild of =od, will 'ou open 'our heart to recei4e the hea4enl' 1reetin1 and blessin1, 6=race to 'ou and peace from =od our *ather and the )ord :esus 0hrist7 K5hilippians 1/"LM As 'ou 1row to recei4e those words, the steps to for1i4eness at the end of the neCt chapter will become powerfull' liberatin1 for 'ou+ De encoura1e 'ou to 1o throu1h that process pra'erfull' and thorou1hl'+ Rele sin$ O#r An$er To) rd God (here is one more area of for1i4eness that we need to touch on before closin1 this chapter+ And that concerns our dealin1 with an1er toward =od+ ;ntire books ha4e been written concernin1 the problem of e4il and sufferin1, seekin1 to eCplain wh' those thin1s eCist and wh' =od allows them at times to o4erwhelm us+1# (he best book on the subEect is in the Bible itself+ -t is called the book of :ob+ (hou1h the subEect is 4ast and far be'ond the scope of our book, we do want to address this sensiti4e subEect briefl'+ (he followin1 personal stor' is from a man who has spent his entire life feelin1 left out, reEected, and abandoned+ (he conteCt of the pain and an1er toward =od that is eCpressed in his words below was his bein1 passed o4er for se4eral promotions+ An' one of those new Eobs would ha4e taken him out of work that was sheer drud1er'+ -n addition, he would ha4e been placed in a situation where he could ha4e better pro4ided for his famil' as well as bein1 able to ser4e =od fulltime+

=od had sa4ed me when - was 19+ All -Id e4er wanted was to ser4e .imH all .e seemed interested in was humiliatin1 me+ - wouldnIt renounce .im+ )ike :ob K1#/1&L, -Id continue to depend on .im for m' eternal destin'+ But .eId 1one out of .is wa' repeatedl' to show me that .e had no need of m' ser4ices and that .e couldnIt be trusted to o4ersee m' earthl' eCistence+ >a' and ni1ht alike were black to me+ -f m' kids 1rew up without a father, =od ob4iousl' didnIt careF - maintained m' church and de4otional routines, but an immense wall stood between m' )ord and me Bone throu1h which no li1ht or lo4e would pass+ <a'be thatIs where 'ou find 'ourself or a lo4ed one toda'+ 6Dh'M7 questions an1ril' launched hea4enward are about the onl' semblance of 6pra'er7 'ou feel capable of utterin1+ (o 'ou itIs like makin1 a desperate phone call to hea4enBand all 'ou 1et on the other end of the line is silence+ 8r a recorded messa1e that sounds hollow and trite Kunfortunatel', all too often recited b' well@meanin1 but unhelpful 0hristiansL+ Be Re l )i!h God De want to 1i4e 'ou permission ri1ht now to be real with =od+ -n fact, the truth is that 'ou simpl' cannot be ri1ht with =od until 'ou are real with .im+ And that principle applies whether 'our an1er is directed toward =od, other people, or e4en 'ourself+ =od alread' knows 'our pain and an1er, and so 'ou will neither hurt nor surprise .im b' bein1 honest+ .e can take it+ But 'ou canIt take not bein1 honest+ Suppressin1 'our

emotions or holdin1 on to 'our an1er will dama1e and ma' possibl' destro' 'ou+ (he prophet :eremiah was in despair as he helplessl' watched the s'stematic destruction of his belo4ed homeland+ .e was clearl' depressed, but he was also 4er' an1r' with =od, and he wrote about it in the book of )amentations/ - am the man who has seen affliction because of the rod of .is wrath+ .e has dri4en me and made me walk in darkness and not in li1ht+ Surel' a1ainst me .e has turned .is hand repeatedl' all the da'Q+.e has besie1ed and encompassed me with bitterness and hardshipQ+.e has walled me in so that - cannot 1o outHQe4en when - cr' out and call for help, .e shuts out m' pra'erQ+.e is to me like a bear l'in1 in wait, like a lion in secret places+ .e has turned aside m' wa's and torn me to piecesQ+- ha4e become a lau1hin1stock to all m' people, their mockin1 son1 all the da'+ .e has filled me with bitternessQ+<' soul has been reEected from peaceH - ha4e for1otten happiness+ So - sa', 6<' stren1th has perished, and so has m' hope from the )8?>7 K)amentations #/1@#, &,%@$,1!@ 11,12@1&,1%@1$L+ Dere :eremiahIs words trueM -n one sense the' were Bthe' were a true representation of how he felt+ But were the' true in their depiction of =odM -s =od reall' like a bear or lion to .is peopleM No, not at all+ But :eremiah could not ha4e reached back into his heart and reco4ered the truth about who =od reall' is

without first tellin1 the truth about how he reall' felt+ )isten to the chan1e in the prophetIs perception of =od once he was able to be emotionall' honest/ ?emember m' affliction and m' wanderin1, the wormwood and bitterness+ Surel' m' soul remembers and is bowed down within me+ (his - recall to m' mind, therefore - ha4e hope+ (he )8?>Is lo4in1kindnesses indeed ne4er cease, for .is compassions ne4er fail+ (he' are new e4er' mornin1H 1reat is Gour faithfulness+ 6(he )8?> is m' portion,7 sa's m' soul, 6therefore - ha4e hope in .im+7 (he )8?> is 1ood to those who wait for .im, to the person who seeks .im K)amentations #/19@"&L+ Freedo" nd (e lin$ /ro" An$er To) rd God 5erhaps 'ou are an1r' with =od toda' because .e did not stop the awful abuse that was perpetrated on 'ou as a child or as an adult+ Gou cried out to .im, and it seems as thou1h .e turned a deaf ear to 'our cries+ Gou felt crushed, and perhaps concluded as a result that 'ou were on 'our own in this world+ <a'be 'ou refuse to take the risk an' more of leanin1 on an'one else because 'ou are con4inced that no one, not e4en =od, can be trusted+ 5erhaps 'ou ha4e watched the terrible sufferin1 of lo4ed ones and =od has seemed so distant and uncarin1+ And so 'ou are an1r'+ And bitter+ Dhate4er 'our situation, there is freedom for 'ou if

'ou are willin1 to face some difficult issues+ (here are some fundamental steps to be taken to brin1 about reco4er' and healin1, but the' require 'our cooperation as 'ou step out in faith+ *irst, as we ha4e alread' stated, be completel' real with =od concernin1 how 'ou feel+ >onIt hold back 'our emotions or feel the need to cloak 'our an1er in pious@soundin1 reli1ious lan1ua1e+ Be honest+ NeCt, admit to 'ourself and to =od that 'ou donIt ha4e all the answers+ Gou need to come to the place where 'ou admit that 'ou do not possess all wisdom and understandin1+ (his will be a humblin1 moment for 'ou, but that was the point that :ob Kdespite all his horrible pain and sufferin1L had to come to Ksee :ob #$A2"L+ And so do 'ou+ (hird, b' faith tell =od that 'ou belie4e that .is wa's and thou1hts are hi1her than 'ours K-saiah &&/$@9L+ Gou ha4e known that .is wa's and thou1hts are different than 'ours+ Now it is time to admit that the' are hi1her+ (he neCt step will be tou1h, but it is essential+ ?elease the ri1ht to ha4e all 'our questions answered this side of hea4en+ De belie4e there are man' thin1s we are incapable of understandin1 until we come into =odIs presence+ And so, as 'ou let 1o of 'our questions, b' faith, thank .im that .e is all@wise and that .e knows what .e is doin1+

NeCt, make the choice to release 'our an1er toward =od+ <an' times we wron1full' blame =od for the mistakes we ha4e made and their consequences in our li4es+ 5ro4erbs 19/# KN-,L sa's, 6A manIs own foll' ruins his life, 'et his heart ra1es a1ainst the )8?>+7 (hou1h .e has ne4er done an'thin1 wron1, 'ou ma' find it helpful to 4erbaliJe 'our pra'er as 6)ord, for1i4e Gou forQ7 (he steps at the end of chapter 9 will aid 'ou in this pra'er+ (he )ord will also 1entl' lead 'ou in this time to confess that 'ou ha4e been wron1 in holdin1 on to 'our an1er toward .im+ *inall', pra'erfull' ask the )ord to re4eal .imself to 'ou in 'our painful memoriesBnot an1ril' demandin1 that .e do this, but humbl' askin1 .im to touch 'ou and heal 'our hurt+ .e lon1s to do that if 'ou will let .im+ +o#r F !her C res A1o#! +o# De conclude this chapter with a letter from 'our carin1 *ather to 'ou,12 followed b' a closin1 pra'er+ De sincerel' hope that 'ou will hear .is 4oice of lo4e as 'ou read and pra'+ <' 0hild, 'ou ma' not know <e, but - know e4er'thin1 about 'ou+ - know when 'ou sit down and when 'ou rise up+ - am familiar with all 'our wa's+ -n <e 'ou li4e and mo4e and ha4e 'our bein1+ - knew 'ou e4en before 'ou were concei4ed+ - chose 'ou when planned creation+ Gou were not a mistake, for all 'our da's were written in <' book+ - determined the eCact

time of 'our birth and where 'ou would li4e+ Gou are fearfull' and wonderfull' made+ - knit 'ou to1ether in 'our motherIs womb and brou1ht 'ou forth on the da' 'ou were born+ - ha4e been misrepresented b' those who donIt know <e+ - am not distant and an1r', but am the complete eCpression of lo4e+ -t is <' desire to la4ish m' lo4e on 'ou, simpl' because 'ou are <' child and - am 'our *ather+ - offer 'ou more than 'our earthl' father could, for - am the perfect *ather+ <' plan for 'our future has alwa's been filled with hope because - lo4e 'ou with an e4erlastin1 lo4e+ <' thou1hts toward 'ou are as countless as the sand on the seashore, and - reEoice o4er 'ou with sin1in1+ - will ne4er stop doin1 1ood to 'ou, for 'ou are <' treasured possession+ - am able to do more for 'ou than 'ou could possibl' ima1ine+ - am also the *ather who comforts 'ou in all 'our troubles+ Dhen 'ou are brokenhearted, - am close to 'ou+ As a shepherd carries a lamb, - ha4e carried 'ou close to <' heart+ 8ne da' - will wipe awa' e4er' tear from 'our e'es, and - will take awa' the pain 'ou ha4e suffered on this earth+ - am 'our *ather and - lo4e 'ou e4en as - lo4e <' son, :esus+ *or in :esus <' lo4e for 'ou is re4ealed+ .e came to demonstrate that - am for 'ou, not a1ainst 'ou+ 0ome home and - will throw the bi11est part' hea4en has e4er seen+ - am waitin1 for 'ou+ )o4e, Gour Abba *ather

>ear hea4enl' *ather, this matter of dealin1 with the an1er - ha4e held inside is a life@and@death issue, isnIt itM <an' people ha4e died because of their own or someone elseIs unwillin1ness to for1i4e+ Now - know that - cannot trul' li4e until - for1i4e those who ha4e hurt me+ (hat includes for1i4in1 m'self+ Sometimes that is the hardest one of all+ And - must release m' an1er toward Gou if - am e4er 1oin1 to 1et past this terrible wilderness in m' soul+ - am sobered to know the terrible power of bitterness, but - am 1i4en hope because Gour 1race is 1reater than all m' sin+ surrender to Gour will and ask that Gou would teach me how to for1i4e from m' heart+ -n :esusI name pra', amen+

C(A&TER C For$i,in$ /ro" !he (e r! ?esentment is like takin1 poison and waitin1 for the other person to die+ B<A)A0.G <008U?( Dhen - K?ichL was an adolescent, - hated m' brother, (om+ (his was not Eust siblin1 ri4alr', this was all@out hate+ .e is three 'ears older than - am, and - was constantl' tr'in1 and failin1 to keep up with him+ resented him+ - was Eealous of him+ .e represented e4er'thin1 that - was notB1ood@lookin1, popular, friendl', athletic+ - didnIt like bein1 around him+ :ust seein1 him was a painful reminder of how much a failure in life - was+ (omIs attitude toward me was t'picall' older@brother@ to@'oun1er@brother stuff+ (here were times, howe4er, when he was 4erball' and ph'sicall' abusi4e, and those times Eust poured 1asoline on m' an1er+ 8ne time - was so an1r' with him that - hit him in the back of the head with a well@thrown 6smart bomb+7 De were outside at the time, and he turned and chased me back toward our house, snarlin1 and breathin1 threats all the wa'+ *ranticall' tr'in1 to fi1ure out the safest place in the house to hide, - ran for m' life toward the bathroom+ - made it Eust in time and slammed the bathroom door

shut+ As - was tr'in1 to lock it, m' brother pushed it open and stuck his hand throu1h to 1rab me+ Suddenl' 6the hunted7 became 6the hunter7 as squeeJed his trapped hand between the door and the doorEamb+ - enEo'ed the feelin1 of power and control, because dependin1 upon how hard - would push on the door, - could 1et all different le4els of screams out of m' brotherF - wanted him to be hurt as he had hurt me+ ?eluctantl' - released m' pre' once m' h'sterical mother appeared on the scene+ 8ne other time - intentionall' shot (om in the face with a BB 1un, dan1erousl' close to his e'e+ - would spend endless hours in m' room tr'in1 to de4ise terrible traps that would unleash their fur' on m' brother when he would open m' door Kkind of like that old <ouse (rap 1ameL+ -tIs ob4ious - had a terrible problem with an1er, resentment, and bitterness toward m' brother+ 5art of m' problem in dealin1 with m' brother was that he was alwa's bi11er than meBuntil - reached m' late teens+ - had 1rown to siC@foot@two, 1%& pounds, and (om was about fi4e@ele4en, 12& pounds+ - was so eCcitedF <' time of 4en1eance had come+ (he thin1 had dreamed of all m' life could now be realit'+ - could finall' pul4eriJe m' brother+ Dhat a sick 1oalF But at the a1e of 1$ - became a 0hristian, and the )ord told me - needed to for1i4e m' brother from the heart+ -t was unbelie4abl' hard to do+ - remember sa'in1, 6:ust once, )ordF -tIs not fairF7 -Im sure - e4en

would ha4e been willin1 to pound him in 60hristian lo4e,7 if =od would ha4e let me+ Gou know the answer, of course+ *or1i4in1 others or not for1i4in1 others is not up for ne1otiations with =od, no matter how eCtenuatin1 the circumstances mi1ht be+ And so - for1a4e+ -n retrospect, - am so 1lad - did+ Wh ! Is For$i,eness. .a4in1 established in our last chapter the biblical mandate to for1i4e, we need to make sure we understand what for1i4eness is and what it isnIt+ <ark 11/"& sa's, 6Dhene4er 'ou stand pra'in1, for1i4e, if 'ou ha4e an'thin1 a1ainst an'one, so that 'our *ather who is in hea4en will also for1i4e 'ou 'our trans1ressions+7 Biblicall' then, someone owes a 6debt7 when another person is holdin1 somethin1 a1ainst him or her+ (o for1i4e means that the one offended cancels the debt and releases the offender from an' obli1ation to pa' back or make restitution+ -t is alwa's 1ood Kand makes for1i4eness that much easierFL when the offender asks for1i4eness and makes an' and all restitution possible, but when we for1i4e we cease to demand that either be done+ 0harles Stanle' offers this definition/ *or1i4eness is 6the act of settin1 someone free from an obli1ation to 'ou that is a result of a wron1 done

a1ainst 'ou+7 *or eCample, a debt is for1i4en when 'ou free 'our debtor of his obli1ation to pa' back what he owes 'ou+ *or1i4eness, then, in4ol4es three elements/ inEur', a debt resultin1 from the inEur', and a cancellation of the debt+ All three elements are essential if for1i4eness is to take place+1 Dhen someone sins a1ainst 'ou, it is like throwin1 a hea4' chain around 'our neck or castin1 a stron1 fishin1 line toward 'ou and sna11in1 'ou with the hook+ Gou feel the crushin1 burden and pain of what was done to 'ou+ (he lon1er 'ou han1 on to 'our an1er, the hea4ier the burden becomesBthe more deepl' the hook sets in+ The Res#l!s o/ No! For$i,in$ (he pain that 'ou initiall' felt from the offense is onl' made worse b' 'our choice not to for1i4e+ Gour efforts to 1et back at 'our offender b' remainin1 an1r' are in actualit' brin1in1 torment to 'our own soul+ Gou suffered from acts of the abuse or ne1lect, and now 'ou are sufferin1 from bitterness+ *or some sick reason we think that sta'in1 bitter is part of 1ettin1 back at one who has hurt us, but it is onl' hurtin1 oursel4es+ (hat is wh' we are warned not to take re4en1e in ?omans 1"/1%@"1/ Ne4er pa' back e4il for e4il to an'one+QNe4er take 'our own re4en1e, belo4ed, but lea4e room for the wrath of =od, for it is written, 6,en1eance is mine, will repa',7 sa's the )ord+ 6But if 'our enem' is hun1r',

feed him, and if he is thirst', 1i4e him a drinkH for in so doin1 'ou will heap burnin1 coals on his head+7 >o not be o4ercome b' e4il, but o4ercome e4il with 1ood+ The &rocess o/ For$i,eness (here is onl' one wa' to be free from the past, and that is to for1i4e+ Dhen 'ou do so, 'ou throw the chain off 'our neck and pull the hook out of 'our flesh+ Gou are free, thou1h 'ou ma' still be wounded emotionall'+ .ealin1 will still need to take place, but the 1ood news is that now it can, because the woundin1 a1ent has been remo4ed throu1h for1i4eness+ .ow deepl' 'ou were crushed and wounded b' the offense and how lon1 'ou harbored unfor1i4eness will affect how lon1 it takes for 'our emotions to heal+ But =od does promise to nurse us back to health, for :esus has come to 6bind up the brokenhearted7 and proclaim 6libert' to capti4es, and freedom to prisoners7 K-saiah 1/1L+ Scripture teaches that 6the )8?> is near to the brokenhearted and sa4es those who are crushed in spirit7 K5salm #2/1$L+ The Only W y !o S!o% !he & in Gou ma' ask, 6Dhat about the offenderM Dh' should let him off m' hookM7 (hat is precisel' wh' 'ou should for1i4e, so that 'ou will no lon1er be hooked to him or her+ (he people we for1i4e are off our hook, but the' are not off =odIs hook until the' come to 0hrist for their own sal4ation, for1i4eness, and cleansin1+

(ra1icall', some will ne4er come to 0hrist+ -n that case, the perpetrators of e4il a1ainst us will disco4er that :esus 0hrist the 1racious Sa4ior will become to them :esus 0hrist the ri1hteous :ud1e+ And the' will learn that 6it is a terrif'in1 thin1 to fall into the hands of the li4in1 =od7 K.ebrews 1!/#1L+ *or1i4eness is a painful process, but it is the onl' wa' to stop the pain+ )eft unchecked, our flesh will often seek re4en1e+ -f that is not possible, in the flesh we will rationaliJe our attitudes and actions, and seek other options+ (o counter the ar1uments of the flesh, >r+ Stanle' writes that for1i4eness is notB T Eustif'in1, understandin1, or eCplainin1 wh' the person acted toward 'ou as he or she did+ T Eust for1ettin1 about the offense and trustin1 time to take care of it+ T askin1 =od to for1i4e the person who hurt 'ou+ T askin1 =od to for1i4e 'ou for bein1 an1r' or resentful a1ainst the person who offended 'ou+ T den'in1 that 'ou were reall' hurtH after all, there are others who ha4e suffered more+" (here is nothin1 wron1 with ha4in1 compassion for the person who offended 'ou+ 9nowin1, for eCample, that the one who abused 'ou ma' ha4e been abused as a child ma' 1enuinel' help 'ou to for1i4e+ But ha4in1

such understandin1 is not a substitute for for1i4eness+ Dhat was done to 'ou was wron1, no matter what reason or eCcuse the person mi1ht ha4e for doin1 it+ Gou still need to make the choice to for1i4e+ (ime Kunder the 1race of =odL ma' help heal all wounds, but it will not remo4e the crushin1 chain or piercin1 hook of the offense+ (hese are onl' remo4ed when we for1i4e+ No Shor!c#!s -t is biblical to ask for =odIs merc' on the offender+ :esus said, 6)o4e 'our enemies and pra' for those who persecute 'ou7 K<atthew &/22L+ -t is also biblical to confess 'our sin of bitterness and unfor1i4eness, for .e tau1ht us to pra', 6*or1i4e us our debts7 K<atthew /1"L+ But :esus continued b' sa'in1, 6Qas we also ha4e for1i4en our debtors+7 .e went on to dri4e home .is point on the necessit' of for1i4eness b' teachin1, 6-f 'ou for1i4e men for their trans1ressions, 'our hea4enl' *ather will also for1i4e 'ou+ But if 'ou do not for1i4e others, then 'our *ather will not for1i4e 'our trans1ressions7 K<atthew /12@ 1&L+ (here are no b'passes or shortcuts around the responsibilit' we ha4e to for1i4e from the heart+ De donIt belie4e that :esus is teachin1 in <atthew that a true born@a1ain belie4er in 0hrist will 1o to hell if he or she doesnIt for1i4e another person+ -f 'ou are a true born a1ain@belie4er, 'our destin' is not at stake, but 'our dail' 4ictor' is+ (hou1h 'ou remain .is child, 'ou

will not eCperience the blessin1s and benefits of that relationship on earth+ -n fact, 'ou can eCperience torment+ (he restoration of the blessin1 of dail' 4ictor' comes onl' as 'ou choose to for1i4e+ For$i,eness Is No! For$e!!in$ *or1i4eness does not mean that we for1et the sin+ *or1ettin1 ma' be a lon1@term b'@product of for1i4in1, but it is ne4er a means of for1i4in1+ Dhen Scripture teaches that 6their sins and their lawless deeds - will remember no more7 K.ebrews 1!/1%L, it does not meant that =od for1ets+ =od couldnIt for1et e4en if .e wanted to, since .e is omniscient Kall@knowin1L+ -t means that .e will not brin1 up our past sins and use them a1ainst us+ .e has remo4ed them as far from us as the east is from the west K5salm 1!#/1"L+ So when we keep brin1in1 up other peopleIs past offenses, we are actuall' sa'in1, 6- ha4enIt for1i4en 'ou+7 B' the 1race of =od, o4er time our memories of sins committed a1ainst us will fade+ De should not feel 1uilt' if we still remember them, but we shouldnIt relish them or dwell on them, or our emotions will be stirred up a1ain+ Dhen we for1i4e, we will find that the stin1 is 1one, e4en if the memories are not+ 8ur memories will not be filled with the pain and torment that we once eCperienced before eCercisin1 the 1race and merc' of for1i4eness+ *or eternit', :esus the )amb will bear the marks on .is bod' of .is sufferin1 and death on the cross+ .e,

and we, will ne4er for1et that heinous act done to .im for our sake+ But, praise =od, .e will not hold that sin a1ainst usF For$i,eness Is Al) ys &ossi1le Some belie4e the lie that for1i4eness is impossible+ But whate4er =od has commanded us to do, we can do b' .is 1race+ (o sin is human, but to for1i4e is di4ine, and =od 6is able to do far more abundantl' be'ond all that we ask or think, accordin1 to the power that works within us7 K;phesians #/"!L+ =od cannot do our for1i4in1 for us, but .e will empower us to do that which .e has commanded+ *or some of =odIs people who ha4e not been hurt 4er' se4erel' and who stru11le onl' mildl' with an1er, the thou1ht of for1i4in1 others is no bi1 deal+ -tIs like walkin1 up a small hill+ But for others who ha4e been terribl' hurt and abused and who ha4e been harborin1 festerin1 an1er for 'ears, the thou1ht of eCercisin1 for1i4eness ma' be like thinkin1 about climbin1 <t+ ;4erest+ -t seems an insurmountable peak+ But whether itIs a small hill or a mi1ht' mountain, :esus 0hrist .imself will make the climb with 'ou, e4er' step of the wa'+ And the freedom and eChilaration at the top are well worth the climbF :enn' was 1 'ears old, but she looked three or four times her a1e+ .er face had been hardened and tou1hened b' 'ears of an1er boilin1 Eust below the surface+ .er dad had left when she was two 'ears old,

and thou1h she did not know the man, she despised him+ Sittin1 in a counselin1 session with her 1irlfriend and a 'outh worker, - saw the hatred 1larin1 from her e'es+ Dhen - brou1ht up the subEect of her needin1 to for1i4e her father, :enn' would not speak+ She Eust stared at me, darin1 me to come an' closer, def'in1 me to make her bud1e from her carefull' constructed fortress of an1er+ (here was nothin1 that - could do+ No amount of pra'in1, ur1in1, or warnin1 was able to break throu1h+ - was disappointed, and :enn' remained in bonda1e to her bitterness+ But =od wasnIt throu1h with :enn'+ was in4ited back to speak at the same conference a 'ear later, and 1uess who was thereM :enn'+ - ne4er thou1ht -Id see her a1ain, and - certainl' ne4er fi1ured sheId come back to such an intense spiritual settin1+ But there she was+ And - took one look at her and - knew she was free+ Dith a beamin1 smile on m' face - reintroduced m'self to her+ .er smile was warm and 1enuine, so asked her, 6:enn', 'ou finall' admitted 'ou hated 'our dad, didnIt 'ouM7 6Ges,7 she said, noddin1+ 6And 'ou were able to for1i4e him, werenIt 'ouM7 alread' knew the answer+ Smilin1 a1ain, she said 6Ges+7 And it was clear she was enEo'in1 the 4iew from the top of the mountain+

For$i,in$ /ro" !he (e r! -n <atthew 1$/#&, :esus said we need to for1i4e others 6from the heart+7 -f we Eust sa' the words 6for1i4e 'ou7 but donIt reall' mean them, the' are meanin1less+ *or1i4eness must come from the heart, which is the core of our bein1+ 8nl' in the heart do the mind, emotions, and will come to1ether+ *or1i4eness has to come from here, the core of our bein1+ (he onl' successful wa' that we know how to do this is to sa', 6)ord, - for1i4e this person forQ7 and then specif' all the sins of commission and omission+ -f 'ou are not willin1 to face the hurt and the hate, 'our attempt will not be successful+ (rust =od to brin1 to 'our mind all those 'ou need to for1i4e, and then trust .im to brin1 to 'our mind e4er' offense+ De ha4e also found it helpful to sa' in re1ard to each offense, 6because it made me feel this wa'Q7 and then describe specificall' what effect the offense has had on 'ou+ (he more specific we are in describin1 our emotions, the more complete and meanin1ful the for1i4eness will be+ E"o!ion l D#lner 1ili!y -t is fairl' eas' and safe to sa' somethin1 like 6-t made me an1r'7 or 6-t hurt me,7 but those words are quite 1eneral and the' ma' not eCpress what 'ou are trul' feelin1+ Below is a list of some words and phrases that ma' help 'ou pinpoint 'our feelin1s more clearl'+ *eel free to add more of 'our own+

confused frustrated disappointed eCasperated furious betra'ed dirt' reEected worthless unlo4able unlo4ed disrespected helpless unimportant fearful condemned stupid craJ' disillusioned 4ulnerable heartbroken alone abandoned foolish incompetent manipulated used not 1ood enou1h ripped apart thrown awa' 1an1ed up on humiliated

controlled trapped insecure full of dread anCious ashamed embarrassed cut down de4astated demoraliJed e4il unwanted

De are not tr'in1 to make for1i4in1 harder, we are tr'in1 to make it complete so that 'ou wonIt ha4e to re4isit it e4er a1ain+ -tIs true that we are 4ulnerable when we 1et honest with =od and oursel4es about how the offense made us feel+ De ma' be afraid that our emotions will 1et out of control+ (hat fear often causes us to suppress them+ But that is the worst thin1 we can do, because in so doin1 we short@circuit the healin1 process+ -n essence we end up keepin1 :esus at a comfortable distance so that .e cannot complete the healin1 process+ De remain stuck in the same emotional rut and donIt eCperience the healin1 and freedom .e wants us to ha4e+ De ha4e to be emotionall' 4ulnerable to be emotionall' free+ A trusted friend can help 'ou throu1h the process, as can a reliable 0hrist@centered pastor or counselor+ De ha4e found it to be more effecti4e if

'ou work throu1h the entire 6Steps to *reedom in 0hrist7 with someone else+ And e4en if 'ou canIt be this honest with others, 'ou can be with 0hrist+ .e alread' knows what 'ou are thinkin1 and what 'ou are feelin1+ Bein1 specific about what was done to 'ou and how it made 'ou feel will brin1 a much more complete freedom+ ,a1ueness in for1i4eness results in 4a1ueness in freedom+ Notice the difference between these two statements/ - for1i4e m' brother for callin1 me names because it made me mad+ - for1i4e m' brother, Sam, for alwa's callin1 me a 6Eerk7 and lau1hin1 at me in front of m' friends+ -t made me feel totall' humiliated, and - would 1et so furious with him that - wanted to punch his li1hts out+ -Im feelin1 an1er toward him now, )ord, but - release that an1er to Gou and relinquish m' ri1ht to seek re4en1e b' choosin1 not to hold this sin a1ainst him an' more+ (he second person is fulfillin1 :esusI instruction to for1i4e his brother from the heart+ (he first person is e4adin1 the real issues, tr'in1 to 1et throu1h the process without bein1 real or 4ulnerable+ .e will likel' complain at a later time, 6- for1a4e m' brother, but canIt seem to stop bein1 an1r' with him+7 -n realit', he hasnIt for1i4en him at all, because he hasnIt dealt with the core issues of for1i4eness+

C ncelin$ !he De1! Another aspect of for1i4in1 from the heart in4ol4es cancelin1 the debt owed to 'ou because of the dama1e done to 'our sense of worth+ -t is one thin1 to acknowled1e that 'ou were an1r'H it is another thin1 to admit that 'our 4iew of 'ourself was dama1ed b' the offense a1ainst 'ou+ Because of the sins committed a1ainst 'ou, 'ou ma' ha4e come to 4iew 'ourself as somethin1 far less than 'ou are in 0hrist+ (he de4il, called 6the accuser of the brethren,7 tries to heap words of condemnation on 'ou, e4en thou1h ?omans $/1 tells us that 6there is now no condemnation for those who are in 0hrist :esus+7 -n some cases, 'our for1i4eness of the offender will need to include a statement about how 'our 4iew of 'ourself suffered due to that personIs sin+ .ere is an eCample/ )ord, - choose to for1i4e m' mother for alwa's criticiJin1 m' work+ .er perfectionism made it impossible to please her, thou1h - tried and tried and tried+ - became increasin1l' an1r' with her and with m'self, and came to see m'self as totall' incompetent and unable to do an'thin1 ri1ht+ - feel like an' sense of 4alue - had, Eust withered under her fierce scrutin' and disappro4al+ -t has e4en affected m' abilit' to undertake thin1s Gou ha4e told me to do, because ha4e feared that - was Eust not 1ood enou1h+ But choose to for1i4e m' mother, and - reEect all the lies about who - am+ - choose to accept m' new identit' as

a child of =od+ Li,in$ )i!h !he ConseE#ences o/ O!hers- Sin De are to for1i4e as 0hrist has for1i4en us+ .e did that b' takin1 our sins upon .imself+ B' for1i4in1 others, we are a1reein1 to li4e, as :esus did, with the temporar' consequences of their sin+ Gou ma' protest, 6But thatIs not fair+7 8f course it isnIt fair, but it is realit' in a fallen world+ De are all li4in1 with the consequences of other peopleIs sin+ De are all li4in1 with the consequences of AdamIs sin+ (he onl' real choice we ha4e is whether we li4e with the consequences of othersI sin in the bonda1e of bitternessBor in the freedom of for1i4eness+ (he sinless )amb of =od pa4ed the wa' for our for1i4eness and has 1ranted us the 1race to for1i4e as we ha4e been for1i4en+ -saiah &#/2@ eCplains this+ Surel' our 1riefs .e .imself bore, and our sorrows .e carriedH 'et we esteemed .im stricken, smitten of =od, and afflicted+ But .e was pierced throu1h for our trans1ressions, .e was crushed for our iniquitiesH the chastenin1 for our well@bein1 fell upon .im, and b' .is scour1in1 we are healed+ All of us like sheep ha4e 1one astra', each of us has turned to his own wa'H but the )8?> has caused the iniquit' of us all to fall on .im+ ;4er' murder, e4er' seCual molestation, e4er' racial

slur or hate crime, e4er' word of reEection, e4er' lie, e4er' abortion, e4er' act of 1reed, e4er' act of worship of a false 1od, e4er' 4ile act of witchcraft, and e4er' other callous, unkind, or e4il attitude, word, or action e4er committed b' an' human bein1 was heaped on the .ol' 8ne+ :esus willin1l' took on our sin and bore the eternal consequences of that sin in .is bod'+ .e suffered an a1oniJin1 death that we mi1ht li4e+ 6De do see .im who was made for a little while lower than the an1els, namel', :esus, because of the sufferin1 of death crowned with 1lor' and honor, that b' the 1race of =od .e mi1ht taste death for e4er'one7 K.ebrews "/9L+ :esus suffered the eternal consequences for all our sins+ Now .e asks that we take upon oursel4es the temporal consequences of the sins of a few+ De can lose a promotion, pa' raise, a Eob, custod' of children, or e4en our spouse+ De ma' suffer serious dama1e to our reputation and lose the respect of others, and e4en lose their friendship+ De mi1ht be dama1ed ph'sicall' or suffer the loss of material possessions and comfort+ De ma' e4en under1o the a1on' of the death of lo4ed ones, as when someone close to use is killed b' a drunk dri4er+ (he dama1e ma' also be internal, to our soulBto our sense of worth+ Dhate4er the situation, =od makes no 1uarantees that we will not ha4e to suffer from the temporal consequences from another personIs sins+ -n hea4en, howe4er, 6.e will wipe awa' e4er' tear from their e'esH and there will no lon1er be an' deathH there

will no lon1er be an' mournin1, or cr'in1, or pain7 K?e4elation "1/2L+ -n the midst of our infirmities, .is 1race is sufficient, as the apostle 5aul disco4ered and wrote about in " 0orinthians 1"/%@1!/ (here was 1i4en me a thorn in the flesh, a messen1er of Satan to torment meBto keep me from eCaltin1 m'selfF 0oncernin1 this - implored the )ord three times that it mi1ht lea4e me+ And .e has said to me, 6<' 1race is sufficient for 'ou, for power is perfected in weakness Oinfirmit'P+7 <ost 1ladl', therefore, - will rather boast about m' weaknesses OinfirmitiesP, so that the power of 0hrist ma' dwell in me+ (herefore - am well content with weaknesses OinfirmitiesP, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for 0hristIs sakeH for when - am weak, then - am stron1+ The Dee% Ch nnels o/ God-s &o)er nd Gr ce (he deepest wounds that we ha4e eCperienced at the hands of others can become the deepest channels of =odIs power and 1race flowin1 into and throu1h our li4esBif we make the choice to for1i4e and endure the temporar' consequences of sin+ 0onsider the followin1 stories that re4eal the 1race of =od in the most 1rie4ous situations/ A "9@'ear@old police officer whose wife is pre1nant with their first child is shot on the streets of New Gork 0it'+ *or da's his life han1s in the balance, his stru11le to li4e transfiCin1 New Gorkers+ At last it appears he will pull throu1hBbut he will be a

quadraple1ic+ A 'oun1 woman in (eCas is raped, beaten with a hammer, stabbed and left for dead+ She mana1es to sur4i4e, but the crime lea4es her de4astated+ 6- felt unlo4able, untouchable, a throwawa' person,7 she said+ -n 0le4eland, a %@'ear@ old bo'Is mother is murdered+ .is father is arrested for the crime+ -n a sensational trial, his father is con4icted and sent to prison+ (en 'ears later, after a retrial, his father 1oes free+ But b' then the bo'Is childhood is 1one+ (he famil' has been shattered+ (oda', Ste4en <c>onald, the former police officer, occupies a wheelchair and is attached to a 4entilator+ .e tra4els the countr' tellin1 his stor', speakin1 about the for1i4eness he has found for his assailant+ ;llen .albert, who said the attack she eCperienced was so de1radin1 that she was ne4er 1oin1 to talk about it, now de4otes her life to aidin1 crime 4ictimsBand those con4icted of crimes+ And Sam ?eese Sheppard, whose father, >r+ Sam Sheppard, was con4icted and then acquitted of murder in two sensational trials, publicl' pra's for those who ha4e wron1ed him and his famil'+# Chris!-s Wor* & id E,ery!hin$ Nothin1 1ood can come from holdin1 on to our an1er and bitterness+ A church marquee declared, 6A 1rud1e is the onl' thin1 that doesnIt 1et better when 'ou nurse it+7 ;phesians 2/" @"% tells us not to let the sun 1o down on our an1er, else the de4il will ha4e a place K1roundL to operate+ 5aul ur1es the church at 0orinth

to for1i4e 6so that no ad4anta1e would be taken of us b' Satan, for we are not i1norant of his schemes7 K" 0orinthians "/11L+ (he de4il can take ad4anta1e of an entire church when the members are unwillin1 to for1i4e+ 5aul also eChorted us to 61et rid of all bitterness, ra1e and an1er, brawlin1 and slander, alon1 with e4er' form of malice7 K;phesians 2/#1 N-,L+ Unfor1i4eness is cancer to the soul and to the life of a church+ De must be 6kind and compassionate to one another, for1i4in1 each other, Eust as in 0hrist =od for1a4e 'ou7 K;phesians 2/#" N-,L+ *or1i4eness is the onl' sur1er' that will work on such a mali1nanc'+ Dhen we are hurt, it is as if we take out our 4ideo camera and capture the e4ent on tape+ And when we do not for1i4e, instead of erasin1 the ima1es, it is as if we pull out the 4ideotape and pop it in to the ,0? in our brain, then push pla'Q and rewindQand pla'Q and rewindQand pla'+Q84er and o4er a1ain we punish people for their sins, e4en thou1h :esus 0hrist .imself proclaimed on the cross 6-t is finishedF7 Kliterall', 65aid in fullF7L+ :esus 0hrist declared that .is shed blood and sacrificial death were the full and total pa'ment for the sins of mankindBincludin1 the sins committed a1ainst 'ouF De simpl' cannot add to that which 0hrist has declared complete+ -n fact, to choose not to for1i4e is to repudiate the

finished work of 0hrist on the cross+ -t is makin1 the decision to pla' prosecutor, Eud1e, Eur', and eCecutioner a1ainst the offender, somethin1 that we cannot do fairl' and, in realit', should ne4er dare to do at all+ -t is a 4iolation of lo4e, which 6does not take into account a wron1 suffered7 K1 0orinthians 1#/&L+ De are commanded to for1i4e others, but it is reall' for our sake that we do it, as this poem so powerfull' illustrates/ 8nce - held in m' ti1htl' clenched fist, ashes+ Ashes from a burn inflicted upon m' ten@'ear@old bod'+ Ashes - didnIt ask for+ (he scars were forced on me+ And for se4enteen 'ears the fire smoldered+ - kept m' fist closed in secret, hatin1 those ashes 'et unwillin1 to release them+ Not sure if - should+ Not con4inced it was worth it+ <arrin1 the thin1s - touched and lea4in1 black marks e4er'where, or so it seemed+ - tried to undo it all+ But the ashes were alwa's there to remind me that - couldnIt+ - reall' couldnIt+ But =od could+ .is sweet .ol' Spirit spoke to m' heart one ni1ht in tearful desperation+ .e whispered, 6- want to 1i4e 'ou beaut' for 'our ashes+ (he oil of Eo' for mournin1+ And a 1arment of praise for 'our spirit of hea4iness+7 - had ne4er heard of such a trade as thisF Beaut' for ashesM <' sadl'@stained memor' for the healin1 in .is DordM <' soot@like dreams for .is son1s in the ni1htM

<' helpless and hurtin1 emotions for .is e4er@ constant peaceM .ow could - be so stubborn as to refuse an offer such as thisM So willin1l', 'et in slow motion, and 'es while sobbin1, - opened m' bent fin1ers and let the ashes drop to the 1round+ - heard the wind blow them awa', awa' from me fore4er+ - am now able to place m' open hands 1entl' around the fist of another hurtin1 soul and sa' with confidence, 6)et them 1o+ (here reall' is beaut' be'ond 'our comprehension+ =o ahead, trust .im+ .is beaut' for 'our ashes+72 De ur1e 'ou with all we ha4e in 0hrist to take time ri1ht now to for1i4e those who ha4e offended 'ou, no matter who the' were, when it was, or what it was+ ;4en if it was 'ears a1o, we ur1e 'ou to let the perpetrators off 'our hook so 0hrist can be free to brin1 .is healin1 power to 'our wounded soul+ S!e%s !o For$i,eness De encoura1e 'ou to 1o throu1h the followin1 steps to for1i4eness Kand if 'our wounds are deep, a1ain we stron1l' recommend 'ou ha4e a trusted friend or respected pastor or counselor with 'ouL+ 1+ Ask =od to show 'ou the people 'ou need to for1i4e, and Eot their names down on a piece of paper

as .e brin1s them to mind+ Be sensiti4e to 'our need to for1i4e 'ourself if 'ou ha4e been an1r' with 'ourself for thin1s 'ou did or didnIt do in the past+ *or1i4in1 'ourself is acceptin1 =odIs for1i4eness of 'ou in 0hrist+ "+ >onIt worr' about writin1 down all the thin1s that the people on 'our list did to hurt 'ou, unless 'ou feel it would aid 'ou in for1i4in1 them+ #+ 5ra' for =odIs 1racious presence to 1uide 'ou throu1h this process+ Ask .im to brin1 to 'our mind specificall' all the offenses a1ainst 'ou and how the' made Kor makeL 'ou feel+ 2+ Be1in b' confessin1 to =od 'our sin of harborin1 an1er and bitterness+ (hen make the choice to for1i4e+ >onIt sa', 6)ord, help me to for1i4e+7 .e is alread' helpin1 'ou+ And donIt sa', 6)ord, - want to for1i4e+7 Sa', 6)ord, - for1i4eQ7 &+ De encoura1e 'ou to model 'our pra'er on somethin1 like the followin1/ )ord, - choose ri1ht now to for1i4e KnameL for Kspecificall' sa' what this person did to hurt 'ouL, which made me feel KeCpress to =od honestl' the emotions 'ou ha4e feltL+ + Sta' with each name on 'our list until 'ou cannot think of an' more painful memories concernin1 that person+

%+ 0onclude 'our for1i4eness of each indi4idual b' pra'in1 somethin1 like this/ >ear )ord, - choose not to hold an'thin1 a1ainst those who ha4e hurt me+ (hank Gou that - am for1i4en for m' an1er and bitterness+ - now ask Gou to bless those who ha4e cursed me+ - 1i4e up m' ri1ht to seek re4en1e, and - ask that Gou would heal m' broken heart+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ $+ 8nce 'ou ha4e finished this process, 1i4e thanks to the )ord+ Spend some time praisin1 and worshipin1 .im for .is 1race in settin1 'ou freeF In concl#sion4 )e in,i!e yo# !o %r y !o$e!her )i!h #s. >ear hea4enl' *ather, what can - sa' that Gou donIt alread' knowM And 'et - feel that - need to confess m' thou1hts and feelin1s+ - ha4e been hurt in m' life, and - ha4e felt it was m' ri1ht to pa' back those who hurt me+ -t felt 1ood and 1a4e me some temporar' relief+ But )ord, -I4e been decei4ed+ - didnIt full' realiJe what - was doin1 to m' own soul, and - certainl' didnIt realiJe what - was doin1 to Gou+ Now - see the sin, m' sin+ - was wron1 in thinkin1 that two wron1s would make a ri1ht+ (hank Gou, once a1ain, for Gour 1race in for1i4in1 me+ - recei4e it+ Now - ask for an e4en 1reater 1race to for1i4e those who ha4e hurt me+ - know that is what Gou want me to do+ -t is what - need to do, because itIs ri1ht+ (hank Gou that Gour 1race is sufficient, e4en for this+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+

&ART T(REE (o) God-s &o)er Wor*s in +o# C(A&TER 2F I!-s M d4 M d World No man who is in a hurr' is quite ci4iliJed+ BD-)) >U?AN( Sometimes the best wa' to see somethin1 is to be awa' from it for a while+ - K?ichL was dri4in1 down Smok' 5ark .i1hwa' near our new home outside of Ashe4ille, North 0arolina, and - noticed somethin1 peculiar+ (he other cars were tra4elin1 at or e4en under the speed limitF - couldnIt belie4e it+ - was actuall' passin1 more cars than were passin1 meF - shook m' head as - recalled numerous death@def'in1 trips on the interstates around m' former home in Atlanta, =eor1ia+ 0ountless times - had been cut off, tail1ated, and honked at+ 8ther dri4ers had used 1estures and uttered words - ha4e not been able to find in m' Bible+ All too frequentl', - had retaliated b' ima1inin1 m' dashboard controls were actuall' able to launch heat@seekin1 missiles into the tailpipes of offendin1 4ehicles+ (hen - pulled into the parkin1 lot at Ashe4ille ?e1ional Airport and noticed somethin1 else+ No crowd, no frenJ', no stress, no an1r' people+ .ow stran1eF -

breathed a si1h of relief and walked into the main concourse+ (here was a small restaurant where a calm, kindl' man dished me up a plate of e11s, bacon, and 1rits+ - sat down, relaCed, and enEo'ed m' meal+ A few other people trickled in and read the newspaper or en1a1ed in quiet con4ersation+ AmaJin1, - thou1ht+ >o people still li4e this wa'M Danderin1 down to m' 1ate, - saw people waitin1 peacefull' for the boardin1 call+ (hen she arri4edF Dearin1 a power business suit neatl' pressed, she franticall' brushed her colored blond hair from her e'es and 'anked out her cell phone from her purse+ She then desperatel' tried to reach someone who could check to see whether she had locked her car doors+ A maEor crisisM She was a 6stress carrier+7 Acti4ated b' a perpetual selfpercei4ed state of emer1enc', stress carriers can chan1e the climate of a room or a hi1hwa' almost instantl'+ (his women would ha4e fit in perfectl' at AtlantaIs .artsfield -nternational Kwhere we were headedL, but she seemed 1rossl' out of place at Ashe4ille ?e1ional+ Settlin1 into m' seat on the plane, - relaCed e4en more as - 1aJed out m' window at the Appalachian <ountains+ (he mornin1 mist was still in the 4alle's, and the lea4es were startin1 to chan1e color+ -t was peaceful, e4en serene+ - didnIt e4en mind the little ba1 of 6=ranola Berr' 0runch7 thrust m' wa' Kinstead of the pretJels - was hopin1 forL+

I-" No! 0ee%in$ U%G Absentmindedl' - pulled out m' cop' of ASA 0onnections Kthe airlineIs in@fli1ht ma1aJineL+ 8n the front of the inside co4er :ack Delch was 1rinnin1 at me a11ressi4el' from a photo of the co4er of the book :ack Delch and the =; Da'+ (he ad 'elled at me, 65?8B);<+ So man' 1reat business books+ So little time+ 1,"!! important books like this one come out e4er' 'ear+ 8f course, 'ou know that, as an eCecuti4e in toda'Is business en4ironment, 'ou must keep current with the eCpandin1 base of knowled1e+ 0an 'ou possibl' keep up with all that readin1M Ges, 'ou can+ -f 'ou subscribe toQ71 Another stress carrier+ *eelin1 m' an1er and anCiet' le4els rise, - flipped ahead and read an article about duck huntin1 in =eor1ia+ -nterestin1l', - found this/ Bill Bowles, mana1er of Alban'Is D'nfield 5lantationQOa duck@huntin1 lod1eP, a1reed, 6- sat on the front porch with a 4isitor who told me that as soon as he hit OruralP =eor1ia, his stress le4el went down &! percent+ As soon as he came throu1h our 1ate, his stress le4el went to Jero+ - see eCecuti4es come in with pa1ers and flip@topsBand b' the time the' come into the lod1e for dinner, the pa1ers and phones are 1one,7 Bowles continued+ 6(he' can sta' in touch with their offices if the' want to+7 .e 1rinned and added, 6<ost donIt+7"

5eople are ha4in1 difficult' keepin1 up with the rapid rate of chan1e+ (he rat race is producin1 more and more stress, which ele4ates le4els of an1er and anCiet'+ (he a4era1e person simpl' canIt handle an' more pressure+ 0an 'ou relateM De are con4inced that if the 1od of this world canIt entice us to e4il, he will tr' to dri4e us to be so bus' that we are simpl' unable to cope+ (he 1ood news is that we are not helpless 4ictims, because it is possible to take decisi4e action to reduce the unnecessar' stress in our li4es and thus decrease the pressures that pro4oke an1er+ -t is not onl' possible, it is essential+ And it doesnIt require mo4in1 to the mountains either+# -t Eust requires the )ord K5salm 1"1/1L+ The World-s In,isi1le Sys!e" o/ Belie/s (hou1h 6the earth is the )ordIs7 K5salm "2/1L, and thou1h =od lo4es the people of the world K:ohn #/1 L, all is not well on planet ;arth+ Scripture describes unbelie4ers as li4in1 6accordin1 to the course of this world, accordin1 to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now workin1 in the sons of disobedience7 K;phesians "/"L+ -n 1 :ohn "/1&@1% we are admonished not to be 1o4erned b' the world s'stem/ >o not lo4e the world nor the thin1s in the world+ -f an'one lo4es the world, the lo4e of the *ather is not in

him+ *or all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the e'es and the boastful pride of life, is not from the *ather, but is from the world+ (he world is passin1 awa', and also its lusts, but the one who does the will of =od li4es fore4er+ :ohn concludes that 6the whole world lies in the power of the e4il one7 K&/19L+ 0learl' then, no matter how beautiful this earth can be, there is an in4isible s'stem of beliefs that dri4es a 4er' u1l' side of life on the blue planet+ (his s'stem, composed of the fleshl' lusts and pride of men, is choreo1raphed b' the de4il himself and is cate1oricall' anti@=od+ :ohn warns that it is simpl' impossible to lo4e this world s'stem and the *ather at the same time+ &hiloso%hies O%%osed !o God <ark Bubeck offers a helpful definition of 6the world7 as :ohn uses the term/ (he main =reek word used to describe our enem', the world, is the word kosmos+ (he main usa1e of this word describes the order or s'stem that runs this inhabited earth+ -t is a spiritual s'stem of thin1s that is opposed to =od and the )ord :esus 0hrist+QO-t isP the whole world s'stem o4er which Satan rules K:ohn 1"/#1H 1 :ohn &/19L+ As our enem', the world is the whole or1aniJed s'stem, made up of 4ar'in1 and chan1in1 social, economic, materialistic, and reli1ious philosophies which ha4e their eCpression throu1h the or1aniJations and personalities of human bein1s+ (he

world s'stem in its function is a composite eCpression of the depra4it' of man and the intri1ues of SatanIs rule, combinin1 in opposition to the so4erei1n rule of =od+2 (he ph'sical planet ;arth is not our enem', nor is it e4il+ -t is the philosophies of this world that work in opposition to the rule of =od that are e4il+ (he 0hristian communities of this world ha4e added a positi4e influence to our cultures, but the' are constantl' competin1 with man' 1odless influences+ *or eCample, the practice of 1i4in1 1ifts to others at 0hristmas can be a true act of lo4e+ But it can also be corrupted b' the world s'stem as it infects the innocence of 1ift@1i4in1 with a desire to show off oneIs status in life throu1h the eCpensi4eness of a 1ift+ :ohn calls that attitude 6the boastful pride of life+7 A preoccupation with material 1ifts to the eCclusion of de4otion to 0hrist is nothin1 more than 1reed and idolatr'+ :ohn calls that 6the lust of the e'es+7 The Modern W y o/ Li/e nd Thin*in$ (here is nothin1 inherentl' wron1 with cell phones, pa1ers, laptops, and the whole lineup of technolo1ical 1ad1ets that are commonplace toda' and that will flood the market tomorrow+ 5roperl' used, some of these new in4entions can ser4e us b' impro4in1 the qualit' of our life+ But the' can also become an obsession or distraction from the true 4alues of life, as one author notes/

-n a restaurant one ni1ht, - heard a man whinin1 to his companions about ne4er ha4in1 a momentIs peace+ Both his beeper and cell phone went off durin1 dinner+ After quickl' respondin1 to his electronic umbilicals, he continued his complaints+ - hoped someone mi1ht su11est he turn off his equipment but no one did+ (his man ma' ha4e been technolo1icall' sophisticated, but interpersonall' he was cluelessF Dhether he suffered from self@importance or insecurit', who knowsM But it was clear he had made himself a willin1 4ictim of technolo1'+& Dith keen insi1ht into the American ps'che, author and speaker 0+ )eslie 0harles su11ests that the followin1 is the belief s'stem of our an1r', self@ centered societ'+ She calls it 6(he 0rank' 0ode+7 T - am entitled to what - want when - want it+ T <' time is important and - should not ha4e to be incon4enienced b' others+ T - ha4e a ri1ht to be impatient or rude when other people are beha4in1 stupidl'+ T - am entitled to special pri4ile1es because - am who am+ T -Im a taCpa'erH - own part of this road and - ha4e the ri1ht to dri4e as fast as - want+

T - not onl' ha4e the ri1ht to pursue happiness, deser4e to be happ' and -Ill do whate4er it takes to achie4e it+ T -Im entitled to cheat a little bit in order to 1et ahead+ -f - donIt take ad4anta1e someone else will, and then the'Ill be a step ahead of me+ T - work eCtra hard but donIt 1et paid for it so -Im Eustified in helpin1 m'self to a few 6sou4enirs7 from m' office to offset what - am ri1htfull' owed+ T -Im too bus' to mince around with false politeness and should be able to tell people eCactl' what - think without ha4in1 to worr' about their feelin1s+ T - must be more in the know than e4er'one else so can sta' 6one up7 on themH otherwise the' ma' take ad4anta1e of me+ T - deser4e the newest, the bi11est, the best, and the most+ -tIs m' ri1ht+ T -Im 1oin1 to die one da' so - ma' as well 1et as much as - can ri1ht now+ T So what if -Im bein1 rudeB- ne4er ha4e to see this person a1ain, so what difference does it makeM T <' opinions and 4iews are more 4alid than an'one elseIs+

T <' emer1encies take precedence o4er an'one elseIs emer1enc'+ T (he world is unfair and opportunities are limited, so ma' as well 1et all - can while - can, re1ardless of who or what stands in m' wa'+ (hou1h clearl' non@0hristian in ori1in, these belief statements can honestl' reflect the flesh patterns of belie4ers as wellBthou1h we ma' be 4er' reluctant to admit itF F lse &hiloso%hy H23M !eri lis" 8ne of the worldIs philosophies that 1i4es birth to man' of the false beliefs listed abo4e is materialism+ (he dictionar' defines materialism as 6the tendenc' to be more concerned with material than with spiritual 1oals or 4alues+7 -t is the 6lo4e of mone',7 which 5aul warned was the 6root of all sorts of e4il7 K1 (imoth' /1!L+ A materialist falsel' belie4es that the possession of thin1s can brin1 lo4e, Eo', and peace+ But the' canIt Bthose are fruits of the Spirit+ (here is nothin1 wron1 with ha4in1 material possessions unless the' take the place of =od, as A+D+ (oJer eCplains/ Before the )ord =od made man upon the earth .e first prepared for him a world of useful and pleasant thin1s for his sustenance and deli1ht+ -n the =enesis account of the creation these are simpl' called 6thin1s+7 (he' were made for manIs use, but the' were meant alwa's to be eCternal to the man and

subser4ient to him+ -n the deep heart of the man was a shrine where none but =od was worth' to come+ Dithin him was =odH without, a thousand 1ifts which =od had showered upon him+ But sin has introduced complications and has made those 4er' 1ifts of =od a potential source of ruin to the soul+ 8ur woes be1an when =od was forced out of .is central shrine and thin1s were allowed to enter+ Dithin the human heart thin1s ha4e taken o4er+ <en ha4e now b' nature no peace within their hearts, for =od is crowned there no lon1er, but there in the moral dusk stubborn and a11ressi4e usurpers fi1ht amon1 themsel4es for first place on the throne+% M !eri lis" in O#r C#l!#re *ueled b' life in a wealth' nation, man' people want their piece of the materialistic pie, 1i4in1 rise to a sense of 6entitlement+7 ;ntitlement li4es b' the philosoph' of 6- deser4e ZZZZZZZZ simpl' because am me+7 Because there is so much stuff a4ailable, man' people belie4e that therefore it should be a4ailable to them, and it should be a4ailable now+ (he result of such thinkin1 is billions of dollars in credit card debt in our nation and dail' tension and an1er in families because of financial stress+ (hou1h we ma' den' we are materialistic, it is neCt to impossible to li4e in a culture such as ours and not be affected or e4en infected to some eCtent+ Stress has a wa' of re4ealin1 which 4alues we hold dearest and the sur4i4al mechanisms we trust most+ (he American

dream is to ha4e the best home we can afford in the best communit'+ (o select that home and make that purchase can be 4er' stressful, accordin1 to a 0hristian friend of ours+ After sellin1 real estate for two decades, - ha4e become increasin1l' disma'ed at the lack of character and basic decenc' demonstrated b' people - ha4e worked with o4er the past few 'ears+Q8n the whole ha4e witnessed a 1rowin1 fiCation on material thin1s and a declinin1 interest in the welfare of others+ -n short, it seems to me that ours is a culture where people worship thin1s and use people to 1et those thin1s, as opposed to a societ' where people lo4e others and use thin1s to ser4e them+Q ;ach 'ear it seems that the public demands bi11er and bi11er houses with more and more 1ad1ets in them+ No one seems to be satisfied with an'thin1H nothin1 seems to be lar1e enou1h or 1ood enou1h+ -I4e been amaJed at how hi1h the temperature can rise durin1 the t'pical house hunt, ne1otiations for the sale, and the subsequent rene1otiation o4er the inspection amendment+ All alon1 the wa', - mar4el at the amount of ener1' spent a1oniJin1 and threatenin1 the other parties in 6the deal7 o4er e4er' ima1inable issue+ Do We Worshi% De d Gods. (he American dream can become for some the American ni1htmare+ (he ancient words of 5salm

1#&/1&@1$ describe the root of the problem/ (he idols of the nations are but sil4er and 1old, the work of manIs hands+ (he' ha4e mouths, but the' do not speakH the' ha4e e'es, but the' do not seeH the' ha4e ears, but the' do not hearH nor is there an' breath at all in their mouths+ (hose who make them will be like them, 'es, e4er'one who trusts in them+ Scripture warns that 'ou become like the 1od 'ou worship+ -f we worship the true and li4in1 =od, we will be ali4e and set free b' the truth+ But if our 1od is cold, hard cash and the lifeless thin1s it can bu', what kind of people do 'ou eCpect we will becomeM And if 'ou think that materialism is a problem limited to unbelie4ers, then 'ou need to hear the rest of the stor' from the world of real estate, as told candidl' b' our a1ent friend/ As sad as the deterioration of societ' as a whole has been,Q- must sa' that the most disheartenin1 thin1 ha4e obser4ed has been the 4irtual lack of distinction between the 1eneral public and those who claim to be sincere, born@a1ain, e4an1elical, Bible@belie4in1 0hristians+ -t appears to me that the 1reatest hindrance to the spread of the 1ospel is affluence+Q <ore often than - can bear to recount, -I4e encountered the princes and princesses of affluent 0hristianit', who make it clear that somehow the' are due what the' want when the' want it+ After all, the' are children of Almi1ht' =od, and .e does, after all,

1i4e us the desires of our heart, doesnIt .eM Dhen the 1oal of 1ross acquisition and the opportunit' to proudl' displa' the spoils of real@estate war are blocked, these o4er1rown children often throw temper tantrums that absolutel' def' the ima1ination+QDhen we for1et that weIre Eust passin1 throu1h on this earth, our priorities and 4alues reall' do 1et miCed up+ -t seems that far too often, we 4alue thin1s o4er people Band will e4entuall' do Eust about an'thin1 to those people to 1et those thin1s+ The Bi1le-s Words on Money nd Thin$s Standin1 in stark contrast to a societ' 1one mad with a sense of entitlement is the )ord :esus 0hrist+ )isten to .is response to a scribe who eCpressed a desire to follow .im/ 6(he foCes ha4e holes and the birds of the air ha4e nests, but the Son of <an has nowhere to la' .is head7 K<atthew $/"!L+ -t is crucial to realiJe that :esus wasnIt whinin1 or complainin1 here+ .e was not en1a1in1 in a little messianic selfpit'+ .e was simpl' tellin1 it like it was+ No palatial estates 1uaranteed+ Not e4en the best lawn in the subdi4ision+ :esus had slept his first ni1ht on earth in a stable, and thin1s hadnIt chan1ed much o4er some #! 'ears+ .e warned us, 6Beware, and be on 'our 1uard a1ainst e4er' form of 1reedH for not e4en when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions7 K)uke 1"/1&L+ 9in1 Solomon, who was both wealth' and wise,

declared, 6Dhoe4er lo4es mone' ne4er has mone' enou1hH whoe4er lo4es wealth is ne4er satisfied with his income+ (his too is meanin1less7 K;cclesiastes &/1! N-,L+ :esus presented the wonderful opposite/ 6Blessed are those who hun1er and thirst for ri1hteousness, for the' shall be satisfied7 K<atthew &/ L+ (he truth is that 6no one can ser4e two mastersH for either he will hate the one and lo4e the other, or he will be de4oted to one and despise the other+ Gou cannot ser4e =od and wealth7 K<atthew /"2L+ F lse &hiloso%hy H53(edonis" -n addition to warnin1 us about the dan1er of lo4in1 mone', the apostle 5aul also warned us of another dan1erous philosoph' of life+ .e called it bein1 6lo4ers of pleasure7 and warned that it stands in direct conflict with bein1 6lo4ers of =od7 K" (imoth' #/2L+ -t is the worldl' philosoph' of hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure apart from =od, rather than the pursuit of pleasure in =od+ A number of 'ears a1o, .elmut (hielicke, the famous =erman theolo1ian and pastor, took an eCtended trip around our nation+ At the end of his tour, he was asked what the 1reatest problem amon1 American 0hristians was+ .e responded, 6(he' ha4e an inadequate 4iew of sufferin1+7$ -n the introduction to his book Dhere -s =od Dhen -t .urtsM 5hilip Gance' contrasts older 0hristian authorsI handlin1 of the problem of pain to that of modern

0hristian authors+ .is obser4ation is that the older ones were tou1her and more able to trust =od than their more recent counterparts+ .is conclusions show how our soft, self@centered culture foments human an1er/ Dhen 'ou read the two cate1ories of books side b' side, the chan1e in tone is quite strikin1+ -tIs as if we in modern times think we ha4e a corner on the sufferin1 market+ >o we for1et that )uther and 0al4in li4ed in a world without ether and penicillin, when life eCpectanc' a4era1ed thirt' 'ears, and that Bun'an and >onne wrote their 1reatest works, respecti4el', in a Eail and a pla1ue quarantine roomM -ronicall', the modern authorsBwho li4e in princel' comfort, toil in climate@controlled offices, and hoard eliCirs in their medicine cabinetsBare the ones smolderin1 with ra1e+9 -n a more whimsical moment, - had a picture of <oses called to a modern@da' ministr'+ -n this work, he was leadin1 not a million .ebrews but rather a million Americans around in the wilderness for 2! 'ears+ No fast@food restaurants+ No soft drinks+ No (,+ Nothin1 but manna and waterF (he 1rumblin1 of the :ews o4er the lack of ;1'ptian 1arlic, onions, and leeks would pale in comparison to the outra1e o4er no bur1ers, fries, and 0okesF Dhen the feel@1ood 1od is not appeased, we become irritated, anno'ed, and e4en desperate+ -n our stri4in1 to eliminate sufferin1 in our societ', we ha4e onl'

become an1rier and more anCious when that ine4itable sufferin1 arri4es+ :esus 6learned obedience from the thin1s which .e suffered7 K.ebrews &/$L+ -f the Son of =od went throu1h such trainin1 in life, what makes us think that we can learn to walk with the *ather b' an 6easier7 wa'M F lse &hiloso%hy H83Sel/ish A"1i!ion Another worldl' philosoph' that fuels societal an1er is selfish ambition, manifested in a dri4enness to compete, 1et ahead, and 6win+7 A dri4en person belie4es, 6- must do ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ to keep up, succeed, or win+7 -t is the same belief that pushes mothers to read Shakespeare to their unborn children while pressurin1 eCecuti4es to work o4ertime, ne1lectin1 those same children after the'Ire born+ Dhereas materialism is the lust of the e'es in action, and hedonism the lust of the flesh, selfish ambition is the 6boastful pride of life+7 -t is not so much the obsessi4e desire for thin1s as it is the proud 'earnin1 to be top do1Bfirst and best+ -tIs not 6.e', look what -I4e 1otF7 but rather 6.e', look at meF7 And it is born out of men bein1 6lo4ers of self 7 K" (imoth' #/"L+ Selfish ambition can show up in 0hristian ministr'+ (he lure of fame 1ained throu1h radio, (,, books, 4ideos, bi1 conferences, and so on can be 4er' stron1+ 0ommercials for churches ad4ertisin1 6anointed preachin17 and 6d'namic worship7 4ie for the attention of unattached worshippers+ But how man' an1r', ne1lected spouses and children are turned off to =od

and the church while ambitious preachers ad4ance their careersM Are we called to build the kin1dom of =od or dri4en to build our own kin1domsM (he )ord :esus promised to build .is church, not ours+ After all, there are no biblical 1uarantees that the 1ates of hell wonIt pre4ail a1ainst our self@made kin1doms+ A few 'ears a1o - was tra4elin1 and speakin1 too much+ (he opportunities were abundant, the new places eCcitin1, the fruit intoCicatin1+ -t can be a real 6rush7 to be known and admired, and to be the in@ demand speaker+ (hen it became increasin1l' apparent to me that m' 'oun1 son, Brian, was sufferin1+ .e would wake up in the middle of the ni1ht screamin1 and cr'in1+ 8ne earl' mornin1 as - was sha4in1, - asked the )ord to show me whether BrianIs fear and an1er were because of m' tra4elin1 too much+ - sensed the )ord respondin1, 6Gou know+7 =entl' but firml' .e made it clear/ 6>onIt ask questions -I4e alread' answered+7 At the time - was wrestlin1 with whether the )ord wanted me to take a ministr' trip to Sin1apore, the 5hilippines, and -ndia+ - reall' wanted to 1oQuntil that moment+ woke Shirle' up and told her - was not 1oin1+ determined that - would not sacrifice m' son on the altar of m' ministr'+ - was horrified to think that m' children mi1ht 1row up 4iewin1 :esus as the 8ne that takes >add' awa'+ Now Kfi4e 'ears laterL the )ord seems to be 1rantin1 me new permission to tra4el and minister, but the in4estment of those 'ears of primaril' bein1 home with m' wife and children is producin1

wonderful rewards, both present and eternal+ The 6Unholy Trini!y7 Is Dri,in$ Us !o Dis!r c!ion <aterialism, hedonism, and selfish ambition constitute the 6unhol' trinit'7 of the world s'stem+ Unless we turn to the one =od, these false 1ods will 1row bi11er, stron1er, and louder, demandin1 more and more of our attention and ener1'+ (he stakes are bein1 raised all the time, and the costs to our human souls are sta11erin1+ (oo man' of us are climbin1 the corporate ladder and realiJin1 too late that it is leanin1 a1ainst the wron1 wall+ 0onsider this obser4ation/ Spend a moment reflectin1 on the structure of 'our t'pical da' and whether 'ouIre surrounded b' nonstop mental commotion+ -f 'our chores, concerns and queues of incomin1 data are stacked like incomin1 fli1hts landin1 at 8I.are -nternational o4er the (hanks1i4in1 holida', 'ouIre precariousl' poised for a bad case of crankinessF An occasionall' bus', demandin1 da' filled with mental distraction is one thin1, but an unrelentin1 succession of them takes its toll+ 0rankiness is a si1n that 'ouIre sufferin1 from too much pressure, too often+ Gour Eud1ment can suffer as 'ou bound from one acti4it' to the other without relief, and so can 'our mood+ Somewhere, somehow, there has to be a limit+ Gou canIt alwa's completel' control 'our schedule or ma1icall' trim down 'our workload, but 'ou alwa's ha4e options in 'our personal life+ .ow do 'ou spend

'our personal timeM (he media would ha4e 'ou think that 'ou canIt sur4i4e without the latest headline, newest scandal update, or toni1htIs lineup of sitcoms and dramas, but sometimes turnin1 'our back on these thin1s is eCactl' what 'ou need+1! O#r F "ily-s E;%eri"en! Dhen we mo4ed from Atlanta to Ashe4ille, - decided to tr' an eCperiment+ -t be1an as a financiall' dri4en choice, since mone' was a little scarce and the freed@ up N&!! per 'ear would come in hand'+ - decided not to 1et cable (,+ - was also on the warpath a bit because - felt our children were becomin1 tube addicts+ As much as - knew -Id miss (he Deather 0hannel, ;S5N, ;S5N" and Nick at Nite KShirle'Is fa4oriteL, - went ahead with the eCperiment+ But what about the childrenM .ow would the' reactM - felt 4er' stran1e when takin1 this step, almost like those 6radicals7 who ditch their tele4ision sets alto1ether, as Neil had done when his children were 'oun1+ (he eCperiment is still 1oin1 on, but after a 'ear of no cable (,, what is the resultM A houseful of an1r', depri4ed kids Kand parentsL witherin1 from bein1 depri4ed of 6must@see (,7M .ardl'F <ichelle, our oldest, reads constantl' instead of 4e11in1 out in front of the (,+ Brian takes self@defense classes and lo4es pla'in1 with his friends and siblin1s+ All of them 1et to watch a 4ideo a da' if the' want to Kand ;mil', our third, reall' lo4es 4ideosFL, but ne4er do - hear them complainin1 about missin1 such@and@such a show+ -t

seems as thou1h the' couldnIt care less+ - disco4ered that tr'in1 to keep up with personal and work@related phone calls, e@mails, faCes, and letters, as well as sportin1 e4ents on (, and fast@breakin1 news stories, contributed to m' stress and an1er+ - felt like a demandin1 world was in4adin1 m' home and takin1 o4er m' time+ 5eace was rare+ :o' was fleetin1+ )o4e was strained+ - had to take decisi4e action+ - started takin1 weekends off from e@mail+ De turned off the rin1ers on our phones+ De chose to let the answerin1 machine take the calls in the e4enin1 so we could return the calls after the children had 1one to bed Kwh' did the phone alwa's rin1 when - was readin1 to themML+ Now - check the sports scores in the paper for fi4e minutes in the mornin1 instead of watchin1 the 1ames+ <a'be itIs not as eCcitin1 that wa', but the time - now ha4e with m' wife and children is pricelessF No!hin$ Le/! !o Gi,e (his momIs stor' is all too true of man' Americans/ 6-Im a sta'@at@home mom, and after breakfast, - 1et the other two kids off to school+ -Im loadin1 laundr', runnin1 errands, feedin1 and chan1in1 our 'oun1est and cleanin1 before the' come home+ - do dinner, homework super4ision, baths and bedtime stories,7 she said+ 6- dri4e the kids to all their appointments, sports acti4ities and friendsI houses+ - hate e4en

schedulin1 the kidsI appointments because of all the time - ha4e to spend on the phone+ <' husband tra4els a lot and - hate to be crank' when he comes home from a trip, but -Im 1oin1 full speed on about four hoursI sleep+7 11 As Americans we are indeed 6o4erwhelmed, o4erworked, o4erscheduled and o4erspent+71" 8ur li4es are often dail' efforts to li4e out the 8l'mpic motto/ citius, altius, fortius Kfaster, hi1her, stron1erL+ Das the prophet >aniel seein1 a 4ision of our twent'@ first@centur' America when he wrote, 6Seal the book until the time of the endH man' shall run to and fro, and knowled1e shall increase7 K>aniel 1"/2 N9:,LM Dh' not take a sober look at 'our lifeM Are 'ou findin1 'ourself becomin1 short with 'our co@workers and lo4ed ones because 'ou feel like 'ou are perpetuall' behindM Dhen all our ener1ies are bein1 drained awa' in an effort to 6keep up,7 we will find we ha4e nothin1 left to 1i4e in our relationships+ -n fact, we will find that we lose our tempers at the smallest intrusion of needs or demands from the people around us, includin1 our families+ Dith our plates too full, we end up forcin1 our lo4ed ones to eat the crumbs that fall off the table+ Dednesda's are bus' da's for me+ -n addition to m' normal workload, - ha4e to take Brian to practice at 2 5+<+, 1rab somethin1 for dinner, and head out the door b' to a menIs stud' at church+ 8n one particular Dednesda', - also decided to finish stainin1 the railin1

on our deck, as well as eCercise to a 2&@minute workout 4ideo+ And all this between # and & 5+<+F Dhile sloshin1 on the stain, - was reelin1 under the pressure of lack of time when Brian came trottin1 out holdin1 the portable phone+ 65astor Ste4eIs on the phone, >add',7 he said, handin1 me the phone+ 6- donIt ha4e time to talk ri1ht now,7 - snapped+ - was an1r' at Brian for interruptin1 me and an1r' at Ste4e for in4adin1 m' world+ - then called Brian an unkind name and an1ril' snatched the phone from his hand+ - pushed the 6talk7 button on the phone and spoke sweetl' and kindl' into the mouthpiece, 6.ello, this is ?ich+7 Silence+ - pushed the 6talk7 button a1ain, and tried m' sweet 1reetin1 a1ain+ Ste4e 1reeted me in return this time+ Dith a feelin1 of horror, - realiJed what had happened+ (he phone had been turned on the entire time - had been so mean and nast' to Brian, and m' pastor had heard it allF (he )ord used that eCperience to show me that - was tr'in1 to accomplish too much and that - would 1et an1r' when somethin1 or someone blocked m' 1oal+ profusel' apolo1iJed to m' 1racious son+ Dhen - 1ot to church, - went strai1ht to Ste4e and apolo1iJed for all - had said and done o4er the phone+ (urns out he

hadnIt heard a thin1F But =od had and that was what reall' mattered+ Dis!r c!ed3/ro" God As 0hristian parents, we need to reduce the stress in our homes b' mana1in1 our own li4es better+ 8ur children are faced with the opportunit' for acti4ities e4er' da' of the week, and 1enerall' the' donIt ha4e the discernment to know when enou1h is enou1h+ But how can we build wisdom into our childrenIs li4es when we are double@bookin1 oursel4esM And how can we teach them that their worth comes from who the' are in 0hrist, when we are still seekin1 to 1et our needs met throu1h the worldM Dhere is =od in all our bus'nessM De are not eCcusin1 laJiness nor den'in1 the need to do our work heartil' for the )ordBbut wh' are we so stressed out so oftenM -t is not time we lack, because we ha4e precisel' the ri1ht amount of time to do =odIs will+ (he problem is, we ha4e sho4ed 0hrist out of the center of our li4es and compromised our 0hristian 4alues+ -f 'ouIre tired of bein1 out of breath, out of time, and out of sorts, the neCt chapter is for 'ou+ -n it weIll talk about how to 1et out of the rat race while still li4in1 in the real world+ Le!-s =oin !o$e!her in %r yer. >ear hea4enl' *ather, - ha4e been cau1ht up in a

world that is dri4en, competiti4e, and 1reed'+ - confess that - ha4e allowed the 4alues of this world to influence me+ - ha4e been an1r', short@tempered, irritable, and easil' anno'ed+ <' an1er has hurt others and has dama1ed m' witness as Gour child+ - know that - am for1i4en and - thank Gou for it, but - need to confess this to Gou+ 6(each me Gour wa', 8 )8?>H - will walk in Gour truthH unite m' heart to fear Gour name7 K5salm $ /11L+ -n :esusI name, amen+

C(A&TER 22 A &e ce o/ +o#r Mind .e that can take rest is 1reater than he that can take cities+ BB;N:A<-N *?AN9)-N - was an1r'+ Not a loud, reacti4e, belli1erent kind of thumos an1er, but more like a simmerin1, deep@down@ in@the@soul or1e an1er+ -t wasnIt the 4icious barkin1 of a Eunk'ard do1, but the low 1rowl from a stra' on the street+ -t was as if m' emotions were 1i4in1 off low@ le4el distress si1nals but - was too bus' to pick up on it+ *ortunatel' for m' sanit', - had pro1rammed into m' schedule a ri1ht@after@work@before@dinner walk, a brisk walk for aerobic eCercise and to clear m' mind+ K(his walk ser4es as a 1reat transition between the office and the famil'+ -Im 1rateful that - li4e on a pleasant street near some challen1in1 hills that - can use as m' 6track+7L ?eluctant to drop below m' 6tar1et heart rate,7 protested briefl' when - sensed the )ord sa'in1 6Stop+7 But - did+ - took a deep breath and smelled the freshl' mown 1rass+ - looked throu1h the woods and let the color 1reen refresh me+ And - listened to the )ordIs 1entle counsel+

Unknown to me, - had been an1r' at m'self for bein1 slow to chan1e in a certain area of m' life+ - was also an1r' with a church that seemed determined to eCcel at bein1 lukewarm+ - was frustrated o4er an untimel' case of writerIs block+ And the list went on+ But as quickl' as - became aware of m' an1er, - dealt with it in the presence of the Shepherd+ - had to, because know m'self+ Dhat starts out as an anno'in1 drone in m' soul can erupt with a loud roar, usuall' at m' children+ =odIs peace and then peace of mind flowed in a1ain as - sensed the Shepherd ur1in1 me to lie down in 1reen pastures, or at least to stop and smell the mown 1rassF Sanit' returned, and m' soul was restored+ Li,in$ Li*e !he &rince o/ &e ce Not surprisin1l', the earthl' life of :esus 0hrist, the 5rince of 5eace, pro4ides a wonderful contrast to the hectic American wa' of life+ Notice what .e did when the pressures of life started mountin1/ 6(he news about .im was spreadin1 e4en farther, and lar1e crowds were 1atherin1 to hear .im and to be healed of their sicknesses+ But :esus .imself would often slip awa' to the wilderness and pra'7 K)uke &/1&@1 L+ (his eCample of :esusI habit is important for three reasons+ *irst, this was a time in .is earthl' work when :esus was well@known and in 1reat demand+ .e was in real dan1er of becomin1 totall' o4erwhelmed b' the sheer numbers of people comin1 to .im+

Second, :esus knew where .is stren1th and direction came from+ (hou1h .e possessed a perfect heart of compassion and lo4ed to be with people, that was not where .is life came from+ ?ather, e4er'thin1 flowed to .im from the *ather+ (hird, :esus had de4eloped a lifest'le of slippin1 awa' to pra'+ -t had been wo4en into the fabric of .is life on earth+ -t probabl' required a sacrifice of ph'sical comfort+ <ark 1/#& 1i4es us insi1ht into the 6when7 of :esusI solitude/ 6-n the earl' mornin1, while it was still dark, :esus 1ot up, left the house, and went awa' to a secluded place, and was pra'in1 there+7 Ti"e /or Silence -n his book Spiritual >isciplines for the 0hristian )ife, >onald S+ Dhitne' makes this comment/ 8ne of the costs of technolo1ical ad4ancement is a 1reater temptation to a4oid quietness+ Dhile we ha4e broadened our intake of news and information of all kinds, these ad4anta1es ma' come at the eCpense of our spiritual depth if we do not practice silence and solitude+1 .eIs ri1ht+ De are a nation that has 1rown accustomed to acti4it' and noise, and we find it awkward to be alone and silent+ Dhen was the last time 'ou dro4e in the car alone without the radio or the cassette or 0> pla'er onM Dhen was the last time 'ou put 'our lu11a1e down in 'our motel room and didnIt

turn on the (,M 8ur spiritual condition ma' be assessed b' how well we handle solitude+ -n the followin1 5salms, >a4id admonishes us to wait in silence before =od and put our trust in .im/ <' soul, wait in silence for =od onl', for m' hope is from .im+ .e onl' is m' rock and m' sal4ation, m' stron1holdH - shall not be shaken+ 8n =od m' sal4ation and m' 1lor' restH the rock of m' stren1th, m' refu1e is in =od+ (rust in .im at all times, 8 peopleH pour out 'our heart before .imH =od is a refu1e for us K5salm "/&@$L+ 8 )8?>, m' heart is not proud, nor m' e'es hau1ht'H nor do - in4ol4e m'self in 1reat matters, or in thin1s too difficult for me+ Surel' - ha4e composed and quieted m' soulH like a weaned child rests a1ainst his mother, m' soul is like a weaned child within me+ 8 -srael, hope in the )ord from this time forth and fore4er K5salm 1#1L+ (he )8?> is m' shepherd, - shall not want+ .e makes me lie down in 1reen pasturesH .e leads me beside quiet waters+ .e restores m' soulH .e 1uides me in the paths of ri1hteousness for .is nameIs sake K5salm "#/1@#L+ Ti"e /or &r yer Dith a bus' life and a full plate, - ha4e found it crucial for m' own well@bein1 to 1et up earl' to meet with =od before the rest of the house rises Kwe ha4e four

children a1e ten and underFL+ (he best time for 'ou to 1et awa' ma' be in the mornin1, or later in the e4enin1 when thin1s quiet down+ -f 'ou are emplo'ed, what about usin1 a portion of 'our lunch hour to take a quiet walk or find a quiet placeM -f nothin1 else, 'ou can 1o sit in 'our car to 1et awa'F :esus talked about pra'in1 to the *ather in secret, either in a room or closet+ .e promised that 'our *ather, who sees 'ou there, will indeed reward 'ou K<atthew / L+ ?ichard *oster, in his book 0elebration of >iscipline, has some challen1in1 thou1hts on this matter/ De can find or de4elop a 6quiet place7 desi1ned for silence and solitude+ .omes are bein1 built constantl'+ Dh' not insist that a little inner sanctuar' be put into the plans, a small place where an' famil' member could 1o to be alone and silentM DhatIs to stop usM (he mone'M De build elaborate pla'rooms and famil' rooms and think it well worth the eCpense+ (hose who alread' own a home could consider enclosin1 a little section of the 1ara1e or patio+ (hose who li4e in an apartment could be creati4e and find other wa's to allow for solitude+ - know of one famil' that has a special chairH whene4er an'one sits in it he or she is sa'in1, 65lease donIt bother me, - want to be alone+7" Susanna Desle', mother of 19 children Kincludin1 her sons 0harles and :ohnL, used to pull her apron o4er her head when she needed a reprie4e in =odIs presence+ -t told her children that she was not to be

disturbed+ (he older ones watched the 'oun1er children while their mother was refreshed and renewed+ The Ch llen$e /or Sin$le Mo"s Sin1le moms clearl' ha4e a serious challen1e in findin1 time for quiet pra'er and reflection+ Not onl' are the' 1enerall' workin1 full@time, but the' ha4e all the other responsibilities of a home and famil' to tend to durin1 their 6free7 time+ -f that is 'our situation, it is 1oin1 to be essential that 'ou create a network with other moms, so 'ou can take turns watchin1 each otherIs children to 1i4e 'oursel4es the breaks 'ou need+ 0hurches that are sensiti4e to the needs of sin1le moms ou1ht to pro4ide these ser4ices at little or no cost+ (he pressures of workin1 and sin1le@ parentin1 are so hi1h, and the dan1ers of stressed@out an1er eruptin1 into 4iolent abuse are so real, that a proacti4e approach to seekin1 silence and solitude must be taken+ -f 'ou wait until thin1s 1et reall' bad before actin1, 'ou ma' end up deepl' re1rettin1 it+ (his momIs eCperience is a stor' of hope/ :ust recentl' =od has showed me - ha4e an1er that need to deal with+ - ne4er realiJed it before+ But 'ou know =od works on us slowl' and surel'+ - had been lashin1 out and snappin1 at m' children and - didnIt know where it came from+ (hrou1h much pra'er =od has showed me - ha4e an1er from past hurts+ - ha4e done a lot of for1i4in1, but there was still some

underl'in1 an1er - needed to deal with+ - ha4e asked =od to prompt me e4er' time it comes up with m' 1irls so that - can ask the .ol' Spirit to 1o before me in speakin1 to m' children in lo4e+ =od is faithful and am o4ercomin1 this an1er+ But it means bein1 in the Dord e4er' da' and also maintainin1 that one@on@one personal time with the )ord and bein1 in .is presence throu1hout the da'+ Dhen - put on praise music and praise .im, the enem' is scattered+ Alleluia, we ha4e the 4ictor'F Ti"e in God-s &resence Scheduled time alone with the )ord sets the sta1e for walkin1 with .im durin1 the rest of the da'+ Dh' not take periodic 6:esus7 breaks KEust like coffee breaksFL, when 'ou can relaC and Eust focus on .im+ Dhether in the shower, in the car, walkin1 the do1, or 1oin1 out to pick up the mail, moments of talkin1 and e4en 4entin1 in =odIs presence can be lifesa4ers+ Brief periods of time in silent reflection or worship can calm 'our spirit and defuse 'our an1er+ An' time 'ou can 1et awa' from the place that is the center of 'our stress, it will be well worth it, especiall' if 'ou can slip off to a place of natural beaut'+ ;4en sittin1 b' a fountain in the office lobb' can pro4ide refreshment+ -tIs amaJin1 that =od has wired us so that certain sounds, smells, colors, and tastes can pro4ide rest in the midst of stress+ Sometimes thatIs all it takes to keep from eCplodin1 Kor implodin1L durin1 a tense and hectic da'+

*or #! 'ears the staff who work at the 0hristian (rainin1 0enter -nternational in *ranklin, North 0arolina, ha4e ser4ed the bod' of 0hrist in the midst of some of the most beautiful scener' in the western part of that state+ -t is an ideal place for 1ettin1 awa' and sittin1 at the feet of :esus+ 84er the past 'ears, small 1roups of belie4ers ha4e 1athered there to do Eust that+ ;4er' three or four months, from (hursda' e4enin1 to Saturda' noon, the' conduct a 6Sittin1 at the *eet of :esus7 retreat+ Dith no a1enda eCcept to be quiet, worship, and listen to the )ord, these retreats ha4e brou1ht renewal and refreshment to man' of .is people+ 6At first we felt like we were 1oin1 throu1h withdrawal,7 said Susan 5ons, wife of 0(0- director )arr' 5ons+ 6But the times ha4e been transformin1 for us+ - canIt be1in to tell 'ou all that =od has shown us, but the predominant theme is .is lo4e+ .e is showin1 us more and more deepl' how 1reat .is lo4e for us is+7 -n addition to their quarterl' 1atherin1s open to the public, the staff, led b' )arr', 1athers for a similar thou1h shorter time of seekin1 =odIs face e4er' <onda' mornin1+ KDhat would the a4era1e church become if the staff set aside a similar 6tithe7 of their workweek to sit at :esusI feet and recei4e encoura1ement, correction, and 1uidance from .imML )et us encoura1e 'ou to seek the )ord and ask .im how 'ou mi1ht incorporate a re1ular habit of sittin1 at the feet of :esus into 'our own life and the life of 'our

famil'+ <a'be 'ou are not able to take half a da' per week, but what about half an hour a da'M (hat is about " percent of 'our time+ <a'be itIs not possible to set aside a da'@and@a@half e4er' quarter, but what about half a da' once a monthM Armed with 'our Bible K'ou mi1ht want to pra'erfull' read throu1h one of the four =ospelsL and a notebook to Eournal 'our thou1hts and impressions, 'ou will find it a safe ha4en from the stress and resultant an1er of this world+ -f 'ou enEo' praise and worship music, 'ou mi1ht want to take a cassette@tape or 0> pla'er alon1+ Cle nsin$ /ro" B#syness 5aul eChorted us, 6>o not be conformed to this world, but be transformed b' the renewin1 of 'our mind7 K?omans 1"/"L+ -f we are not acti4el' allowin1 our minds to be renewed, we will b' default be slowl' but surel' squeeJed into this worldIs mold, a world that li4es as if bus'ness were neCt to 1odliness+ Between .is pra'er that the *ather would keep .is disciples 6from the e4il one7 K:ohn 1%/1&L and .is request that the *ather would 6sanctif' them in the truth7 of the Dord K4erse 1%L, :esus declares, 6(he' are not of the world, e4en as - am not of the world7 K4erse 1 L+ (hou1h we are in this world, we are not of it+ Neither is :esus+ (he de4il is the 1od of this world, and he will rule o4er our li4es to the de1ree that we lo4e this world+ =odIs Dord, howe4er, will sanctif' us Bset us apartBfrom its an1r', corruptin1 influences+

No matter how much the world has alread' infected 'ou, :esus can cleanse 'ou+ .e said, 6(hese thin1s ha4e spoken to 'ou, so that in <e 'ou ma' ha4e peace+ -n the world 'ou ha4e tribulation, but take coura1eH - ha4e o4ercome the world7 K:ohn 1 /##L+ (hrou1h our faith, we ha4e the 4ictor' that has o4ercome the world as well K1 :ohn &/2L+ .ow is that possibleM Because throu1h the cross 6the world has been crucified to me, and - to the world7 K=alatians /12L+ -n 0hrist, we donIt dance to the beat of the worldIs drum an'more+ De march to the tune of the 1ospel and find our rest in 0hrist+ Si!!in$ ! Bes#s- Fee! Scripture tells the stories of some pri4ile1ed people who sat at the feet of :esus+ >oin1 this was a life@ chan1in1 moment for them, and it can be for 'ou, too+ De are told in )uke $/" @#9 how a man terribl' tormented b' demons encountered the )ord of hosts+ (his man, possessed with supernatural stren1th, had li4ed in the tombs, breakin1 e4er' chain that was put upon him to restrain him+ )uke describes the transformation in him once :esus set him free/ (he people went out to see what had happenedH and the' came to :esus, and found the man from whom the demons had 1one out, sittin1 down at the feet of :esus, clothed and in his ri1ht mindH and the' became fri1htened K)uke $/#&L+

*rom shame to di1nit'+ *rom torment to libert'+ *rom uncontrollable ra1e to absolute peace+ *or this man, his place at the feet of :esus became the place of serenit'+ )uke also tells us about an immoral woman who found her wa' into the house part' of a 5harisee named Simon K%/# @&!L+ <uch to this manIs cha1rin, she brou1ht an alabaster 4ial of perfume, and standin1 behind .im O:esusP at .is feet, weepin1, she be1an to wet .is feet with her tears, and kept wipin1 them with the hair of her head, and kissin1 .is feet and anointin1 them with the perfume K4erses #%@#$L+ After rebukin1 Simon for his lack of lo4e, :esus deli4ered the punch line, sa'in1 to the woman, 6Gour sins ha4e been for1i4en+QGour faith has sa4ed 'ouH 1o in peace7 K4erses 2$@&!L+ (his woman, at first standin1, soon found herself seated at the feet of :esus+ Dhether it was the compassion in .is e'es or the mere fact .e would allow her to touch .im, we donIt know+ But for this sinful woman, her place at the feet of :esus was a place of repentance and healin1+ 8ne da' :esus entered the house of .is dear friends <ar', <artha, and )aJarus in Bethan' K)uke 1!/#$@ 2"L+ <artha was busil' preparin1 the meal, but <ar' 6was seated at the )ordIs feet, listenin1 to .is Dord7 K4erse #9L+

<artha became 4er' upset that <ar' had left her to do all the ser4in1, and she complained to :esus about it+ She instructed the )ord to set her sister strai1ht+ :esusI repl' ou1ht to be indelibl' imprinted on all our hearts/ <artha, <artha, 'ou are worried and bothered about so man' thin1sH but onl' one thin1 is necessar', for <ar' has chosen the 1ood part, which shall not be taken awa' from her K)uke 1!/21@2"L+ <artha represents all the t'pe A personalities+ Notice that :esus pointed out that she was 6worried and bothered about so man' thin1s7 K1!/21, emphasis addedL+ :esus wanted to ha4e the same fellowship with <artha that .e was ha4in1 with <ar', but <artha was bothered about thin1sF )eonard ?a4enhill said it well/ 6(his was not a matter of disposition but decision+ <ar' had RchosenI the 1ood part, which would not be taken from her+7# *or <ar', her place at the feet of :esus became a place of lo4in1 instruction and wisdom+ *inall', as weIre told in :ohn 1", <ar' a1ain came into :esusI presence+ (his time she brou1ht 6a pound of 4er' costl' perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of :esus and wiped .is feet with her hairH and the house was filled with the fra1rance of the perfume7 K4erse #L+ (hou1h :esus said she had done it to prepare .im for burial K4erse %L, she probabl' did not understand that+ *or <ar', sittin1 at the feet of :esus and pourin1 out her eCpensi4e offerin1 was simpl' an

act of pure and uninhibited adoration+ *or those who care to take the time, their place of sittin1 at the feet of :esus will be a sanctuar', a refu1e, and a safe ha4en from the stress and pressures of an an1r' world+ -t will be a place of brokenness, introspection, quiet instruction, restoration, healin1, serenit'Band finall', a place of peace+ The &e ce o/ (is Mind >onIt be surprised if others do not understand 'our desire to sit at :esusI feet+ -n each of the four passa1es abo4e K'ou can read the complete stories 'ourselfL, there was opposition to :esus or the one at .is feet+ (he wa' of freedom will alwa's be opposed b' those who donIt understand or b' those who donIt want to 1i4e up what the world has to offer them+ But 'ou canIt let that stop 'ou, 6for whate4er is born of =od o4ercomes the worldH and this is the 4ictor' that has o4ercome the worldBour faith+ Dho is the one who o4ercomes the world, but he who belie4es that :esus is the Son of =odM7 K1 :ohn &/2@&L+ .ere are a few su11estions that we belie4e will help 'ou eCperience a peace of .is mind+ T Schedule dail' times to spend with the )ord as intentionall' as 'ou would an' other appointment+ (he )ord will be ea1erl' awaitin1 that timeF

T 9eep 'our times with =od simple and uncomplicated+ >onIt feel pressured to read hu1e sections of the Bible or pra' throu1h lon1 lists of requests+ T 9eep 'our times with =od fresh+ (r' different thin1s+ Dorship =od alon1 with a 0> or tape+ ?ead a short psalm, and Eournal what 'our heart is sa'in1 to =od+ (ake a pra'er walk+ Drite a poem+ Be creati4eF T -f 'our health would not be endan1ered, consider fastin1 Kdrink plent' of waterFL for a meal or a da'+ Use the time normall' spent eatin1 to pra' or ser4e others in some wa'+ >oin1 =odIs will is a richl' satisf'in1 6meal7 Ksee :ohn 2/#1@#2L+ ;Ctended fasts can be a tremendous spiritual retreat and can e4en brin1 healin1 to the bod', but ou1ht to be undertaken onl' with =odIs promptin1 while under a ph'sicianIs care+ T 0onsider takin1 a rest from thin1s that intrude into 'our world, rob 'ou of pri4ac', and steal 'our peace and Eo' Kand that can turn up the hostilit' thermostatL+ (urn off the rin1er on the phone and turn on the answerin1 machine for an e4enin1+ (urn off the beeper and cell phone for a while Kunless the safet' or health of others would be EeopardiJedL+ ?esist the ur1e to check those e@mails one last time+ )ea4e the laptop home when 'ou 1o on 4acation+ And b' all means, dethrone the one@e'ed monster+ (urn the tube off earl' once in a while+ (he sense of power will make 'ou feel reall' 1oodF

T ?emember that :esus is alwa's on .is throne, and the world will hold to1ether without 'ou+ >onIt take 'ourself or 'our work too seriousl'+ Shut down the computer and 1o for a 1ood walk+ Better 'et, if 'ouI4e 1ot kids, 1o out and pla' with themF (his poem, based on 5salm "#, pro4ides a fittin1 conclusion for us/ (he )ord is m' pacesetter, - shall not rushH .e makes me stop and rest for quiet inter4als+ .e pro4ides me with ima1es of stillness which restore m' serenit'+ .e leads me in wa's of efficienc' throu1h calmness of mind+ And .is 1uidance is peace+ ;4en thou1h - ha4e a 1reat man' thin1s to accomplish each da', - will not fretH for .is presence is here+ .is timelessness, .is all importance will keep me in balance+ .e prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of m' acti4it'+ B' anointin1 m' mind with .is oil of tranquilit' m' cup of Eo'ous ener1' o4erflows+ Surel' harmon' and effecti4eness shall be the fruits of m' hours *or - shall walk in the pace of m' )ord and dwell in .is house fore4er+ BAttributed to (oki <i'ashina

Le! #s %r yer !o$e!her' >ear hea4enl' *ather, - need to return to the stillness of serenit' and peace in Gou+ - choose to be still and know that Gou are =od+ Dith a si1h of relief, - return to m' rest in Gou+ - choose to take time to sit at Gour feet and learn from Gou+ And e4en when - am bus', show me how to li4e m' life in Gour presence rather than succumbin1 to the worldIs pressure+ ?estore to me the Eo' of m' sal4ation and the childlike deli1ht in life+ And teach me how to ha4e fun a1ain+ -n :esusI name pra', amen+ See chapter 2 for a discussion of these Greek words for anger.

C(A&TER 25 Connec!in$ !o !he &o)er - belie4e that it is impossible for an' 0hristian to be effecti4e either in his life or in his ser4ice unless he is filled with the .ol' Spirit who is =odIs onl' pro4ision of power+ B>?+ .;N?-;((A <;A?S -t was a 1reat fall da' for a trip to the mountains+ (he kids had the da' off from school, and with a full weekend of speakin1 comin1 up, - decided to take the da' off as well+ Shirle' and - had settled on lea4in1 at 1! A+<+, and - was reall' lookin1 forward to 1ettin1 out, seein1 the fall colors, and hikin1 in Amicalola *alls State 5ark in northern =eor1ia+ A hea4' 4olume of e@mails to answer kept me bus' until 1!/1& that mornin1+ Shirle', noticin1 - had not come out of the office, poked her head in, askin1 when -Id be read'+ 6)etIs shoot for 1!/#!,7 - said, hurr'in1 to finish up m' correspondence+ Shuttin1 down the computer, - raced downstairs, Eumped in the shower, sha4ed, brushed m' teeth, and dressed+ - emer1ed triumphantl' at 1!/"9, read' to 1o+ But what - saw did not make me a happ' hiker+

8f our four kids, onl' two were read'+ (he (, was on, and one of the others was relaCin1 in the presence of Barne'+ .e had ob4iousl' not heard the 6call of the wild+7 - 1roaned and rolled m' e'eballs+ A couch potato at the a1e of fourF 6Shirle'F De said we were 1oin1 to lea4e at 1!/#!F -Im read', wh' arenIt the kidsM7 *or some reason, howe4er, she did not immediatel' take m' point of 4iew and shot back, 6<a'be if 'ou had helped a little bit and hadnIt spent all mornin1 in 'our office, weId be on timeF7 6?i1hteousl' indi1nant,7 - stormed around the house, rou1hl' puttin1 clothes on kids and chasin1 them out to the 4an to 1et buckled in+ - was intent on pro4in1 that it is not that hard to 1et four kids read' for a da' trip+ Smu1l' satisfied, - stood back to admire m' work+ (hen - realiJed that all four still needed to use the bathroom one final time before lea4in1+ B' this time was in the midst of a full@blown 6flesh attack+7 An1ril' unbucklin1 them and shooin1 them back into the house to use the toilet, - stalked around the back 'ard, mutterin1 under m' breath+ 8nce e4er'one, includin1 Shirle', had finall' 1otten into the 4an, the di1ital clock on the dash 1lared at me in defiance/ 11/!!+ 6>add', can we listen to the kidsI praise tapeM7 ;mil', our four@'ear@old, asked sweetl'+

Actuall', - was tempted to stomp the life out of the kidsI praise tape+ 6Before we lea4e, -I4e 1ot somethin1 to sa' to this famil'+7 Gou could sense impendin1 doom in the air as - opened m' mouth wide and firml' inserted both feet+ 6(his is without a doubt the slowest, least or1aniJed famil' in the worldF And -Im sick of itF7 - declared, scowlin1 at all four kids and m' wife+ - purposefull' allowed m' an1r' 1aJe to lin1er a little lon1er on Shirle'+ 6But if 'ou had helpedB7 she protested+ - quickl' cut her off+ 6>onIt 1i4e me an' of thatF )ook at the clock+ De are half@an@hour lateF7 Dith that final pronouncement, - punched in the kidsI tape and slammed the 4an into re4erse+ ;4er'one else seemed to reco4er quickl' from m' an1r' outburst as the happ' praise music pla'ed on+ But, the lon1er it pla'ed, the more anno'ed - 1ot+ The Lord In!er,enes - was such a mess that - found m'self comin1 under con4iction when 69um Ba Ga7 was pla'in1+ - donIt e4en know what 69um ba 'a7 meansF - had not heard that son1 in a decade and, to be perfectl' honest, would not be upset if another ten 'ears went b' before - heard it a1ain+

(hat was bad enou1h, but it 1ot worse+ (he kids on the tape san1, 6-f 'ouIre happ' and 'ou know it, clap 'our handsQ7 8ur kids clapped their hands+ - 1ripped the steerin1 wheel harder and 1ritted m' teeth+ wasnIt happ'Band - knew it+ =raciousl', the )ord 1ot m' attention, and after se4eral minutes of battlin1 m' pride, - pulled off the road and ate a hu1e piece of humble pie+ - asked each of the kids and Shirle' to for1i4e me for m' an1er, impatience, and unkind words+ *ortunatel', the' were far more ea1er to for1i4e than - was to ask for for1i4eness+ As - pulled back on to the road, - was relie4ed and refreshed+ - was e4en able to clap m' hands, stomp m' feet, and sa' 6amen7 when that son1 came on a1ain+ The &o)er !o E;%erience (oly Mo"en!

After lunch in the state park, <ichelle and Brian Kour two oldest kidsL and - went on a hike+ Shirle' sta'ed with the 'oun1er two on the pla'1round+ After climbin1 to the top of a particularl' steep rid1e, Brian called out+ 6>add'F >add'F 0an we build an altar to the )ordM7 he panted, tr'in1 to catch his breath+ - had told them earlier about how their mom and - had once built an altar of 1" stones on the top of a mountain+ -t was there that we had reaffirmed our

commitment to follow the )ord to1ether, no matter what .e told us to do+ Not knowin1 all that =od had planned, - sent Brian and <ichelle scurr'in1 off to find 1" stones+ (he' placed them carefull' on top of each other, then we 1athered around our newl' built altar+ 6Brian, in the Bible, people built altars like this when the' were surrenderin1 to =od in a new wa'+ Are 'ou willin1 to 1i4e 'our whole life to .im like thatM7 6Ges, >add', - am+ But - want to think a minute about what - am 1oin1 to sa'+7 - didnIt dare speak, for - knew we were on hol' 1round+ 6>ear )ord,7 he be1an, 6- 1i4e m' whole life to Gou, for Gou to do what Gou want with me+ -n :esusI name, amen+7 (hrou1h m' deep Eo', m' mind flashed back to m' earlier an1er+ - knew that, had - slammed the door in the face of the 1race of =od and refused to repent, that hol' moment on the mountain would most certainl' ha4e been lost+ Dhat had been m' problemM 0learl', - had ele4ated the desire to lea4e at 1!/#! to a dri4in1 1oal+ Dhen m' famil' blocked that 1oal b' bein1 late Kin part because of m' ne1li1enceL, - became furious+ .ow sill' to

wound m' famil' members and almost ruin a wonderful da' o4er #! minutes of dela'F -n m' foolishness, - had chosen to walk accordin1 to the flesh and not accordin1 to the Spirit+ Althou1h - had the SpiritIs presence in m' life, - had not been eCperiencin1 .is power+ The S!r#$$le -tIs encoura1in1 to know that e4en the apostle 5aul had a stru11le similar to the one - described abo4e+ -n fact, e4er' child of =od who has e4er li4ed can echo at some point in life 5aulIs words in ?omans %/ Dhat - am doin1, - do not understandH for - am not practicin1 what - would like to do, but - am doin1 the 4er' thin1 - hate+QSo now, no lon1er am - the one doin1 it, but sin which dwells in me+ *or - know that nothin1 1ood dwells in me, that is, in m' fleshH for the willin1 is present in me, but the doin1 of the 1ood is not+ *or the 1ood that - want, - do not do, but - practice the 4er' e4il that - do not want K4erses 1&,1%@19L+ 0onfused+ *rustrated+ 5aral'Jed+ 0ontrolled+ >espairin1+ (hese are words that describe 5aul in the 4erses abo4e+ -t is the description of a man in bonda1e+ A man who knows the truth but Eust does not seem able to make it happen in his life+ <a'be that is where 'ou find 'ourself as 'ou read these words+ -f so, donIt 1i4e up+ (he .elper, the .ol' Spirit, is hereF But before we di4e into the solution in

?omans $, we need to look further into the problem, in ?omans %+ (he cure will be much more powerful once we understand the disease+ O#r (e r!s Are Ri$h!eo#s Notice that 5aulIs heart was ri1hteous+ .e wanted to do what is ri1ht+ (he 6willin17 to do 1ood was present in him+ 5aul didnIt need con4incin1 that =odIs Dord was ri1ht and true and to be obe'ed+ .e understood and a1reed with it+ =od sa's that under the new co4enant of 1race, 6- will put <' laws upon their heart, and on their mind - will write them7 K.ebrews 1!/1 L+ (his is in fulfillment of ;Jekiel # /"&@"%, where the prophet writes, - will sprinkle clean water on 'ou, and 'ou will be cleanH - will cleanse 'ou from all 'our filthiness and from all 'our idols+ <oreo4er, - will 1i4e 'ou a new heart and put a new spirit within 'ouH and - will remo4e the heart of stone from 'our flesh and 1i4e 'ou a heart of flesh+ - will put <' Spirit within 'ou and cause 'ou to walk in <' statutes, and 'ou will be careful to obser4e <' ordinances+ =od, throu1h ;Jekiel, had promised to put in our bodies Kour fleshL a new, clean heart+ (his heart would not be of stone Khard, stubborn, and un'ieldin1L, but one of flesh Ksoft, teachable, humbleL+ And the 4er' Spirit of =od would come to dwell within us, unitin1 .imself with our new, ali4e spirit to empower us to do

1ood+ Accordin1 to :eremiah 1%/9, 6(he heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperatel' sickH who can understand itM7 (hat statement is totall' true of an unsa4ed person, but was ne4er meant to be applied to true belie4ers in 0hrist+ DeI4e been 1i4en a new heartF De are new creations in 0hrist to the 4er' core of our bein1+ O#r Iden!i!y Is !he 0ey <an' of =odIs people ha4e been tau1ht that their hearts are wicked, deceitful, and sick+ (he' ha4e assumed that 5aulIs ?omans % eCperience is the normal 0hristian lifeF 0onsequentl' the' ha4e felt doomed to battle their an1er and ra1e all their li4es, hopin1 for, at best, brief moments of 4ictor'+ 0hild of =od, nothin1 could be further from the truthF 5aul said that 6nothin1 1ood dwells in me, that is, in m' flesh7 K?omans %/1$L+ .e didnIt sa' he was no 1ood+ Neither did he sa' that nothin1 1ood dwelled in him at all+ Dhat he did sa' was that nothin1 1ood dwelled in his flesh+ -n fact, he went on to identif' the culpritBit was sin dwellin1 in his flesh that was operatin1 counter to =od+ De ha4e a new identit', a new heart, and a new nature in 0hrist+ (he 4er' presence of =od dwells within usF .owe4er, there still remains a residual part of us that is bent toward selfreliant, self@centered

li4in1+ And in that place that the Bible calls flesh, the power of sin resides, eCercisin1 its influence throu1h our ph'sical bodies+ Sin is not us, but it dwells in us+ -f 'ou happened to ha4e pancreatic cancer, 'ou would not sa', 6- am cancer+7 Gou would sa', 6- ha4e cancer+7 B' the same token, as belie4ers in 0hrist we should ne4er sa' 6- am e4il,7 but rather 6- ha4e e4il KsinL in me+7 (hatIs eCactl' what 5aul said in ?omans %/"1@"#/ - find then the principle that e4il is present in me, the one who wants to do 1ood+ *or - Eo'full' concur with the law of =od in the inner man, but - see a different law in the members of m' bod', wa1in1 war a1ainst the law of m' mind and makin1 me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in m' members+ (o) Does E,il Do I!s Wor*. .a4e 'ou felt like there was a ci4il war inside of 'ouM .a4e 'ou sensed the inner stru11le between the desire to do what is ri1ht 4ersus an e4il presence that pulls 'ou the other directionM (he Spirit of truth, workin1 throu1h 'our mind, is bein1 opposed b' sin, which seeks to operate throu1h 'our flesh+ Author Bill =illham 1i4es a 1ood picture of how sin fi1hts a1ainst the truth in our minds/ Dhen the power of sin speaks to 'our mind, it does not use the pronoun 6'ou,7 but the pronoun 6-+7 -nstead of eCperiencin1 the communication 6Dh' donIt 'ou 1o ahead and 1i4e her a piece of 'our mindF7 it will be

ser4ed up to 'our mind as, 6Dell, - ha4e a 1ood mind to tell her offF B' =eor1e, -Im 1oin1 to do itF7 And 'ou often wind up 6doin1 the 4er' thin1 'ou hate+7 Gou 1rab the idea and con4ert it into action+ Gou sinF Ges, 'ou did the e4il thin1, but the 1enesis of it, the ori1in was the power of sin, not 'our mind+1 -n the stor' at the be1innin1 of this chapter, do 'ou think - reall' wanted to disrupt m' fellowship with =od, hurt m' famil', and ruin the da' for all of usM Not at allF -n m' inner man, - wanted to do what is ri1ht+ - lo4e =od and m' famil' and desire nothin1 more than to be in ri1ht fellowship with both+ But sin spoke to m' mind, and - swallowed its lies hook, line, and sinker+ Sin said, 6- canIt belie4e the'Ire doin1 this to meF (heir slowness is wastin1 m' time and ruinin1 m' da'+ - need to set them strai1ht+7 So m' flesh took control awa' from the Spirit of =od in m' life, and sin worked throu1h m' bod' Kpredominantl' m' bi1 mouth, but also m' cold e'es and an1r' hands and feetL+ (he deed of m' flesh was ob4iousBan outburst of an1er+ :ames sums up what happened 4er' well/ )et no one sa' when he is tempted, 6- am bein1 tempted b' =od7H for =od cannot be tempted b' e4il, and .e .imself does not tempt an'one+ But each one is tempted when he is carried awa' and enticed b' his own lust+ (hen when lust has concei4ed, it 1i4es birth to sinH and when sin is accomplished, it brin1s forth death+ >o not be decei4ed, m' belo4ed brethren

K1/1#@1&L+ :ames makes it clear that we are full' capable of 1eneratin1 sin b' oursel4es, throu1h our own fleshl' lusts+ -n addition, howe4er, the world s'stem 1o4erned b' Satan makes its appeal to our minds throu1h those lusts K1 :ohn "/1&@1%L+ *inall', the de4ilIs enticin1 4oice comin1 from without can sound identical to the temptin1 4oice of sin comin1 from within+ -n essence, we are bein1 triple@teamed b' the world, the flesh, and the de4ilF Sin is decepti4e K.ebrews #/1#L+ -t promises pleasure, fulfillment, and satisfaction, but it lies+ -t deli4ers onl' 6passin1 pleasures7 K.ebrews 11/"&L+ And then comes the u1l' pa'off+ (he consequences are alwa's 1reater than the 6benefits+7 Alwa's+ (he old black preachers used to sa', 6Sin will take 'ou places 'ou donIt want to 1o+ Sin will cost 'ou more than 'ou want to pa'+ And sin will keep 'ou lon1er than 'ou want to sta'+7 And the' are eCactl' ri1ht+ The Res#l!s o/ W l*in$ Accordin$ !o !he Flesh -f 'ou choose to walk accordin1 to the flesh and not b' the Spirit, 'ou will find 'ourself cr'in1 out alon1 with the apostle 5aul, 6Dretched man that - amF Dho will set me free from the bod' of this deathM7 K?omans %/"2L+ Notice 5aul did not sa', 6Dicked man that - amF7 .e

said, 6Dretched man that - amF7 6Dretched7 means 6miserable,7 and bonda1e to sin will ine4itabl' lead to miser', as this manIs stor' illustrates/ - ha4e been a police officer for almost "! 'ears+ - am di4orced and remarried with two children+ - ha4e been an1r' for so lon1, mostl' about past hurts, reEection, m' di4orce+ - was also an1r' with =od, m' church, m' life+ - was an1r' for so lon1, - did not know who or what - was an1r' at or wh'+ (o put it bluntl', - was miserable+ - left m' church because - was an1r' at the people+ - was so an1r' that when - walked in the front door of the church - would Eust be in a ra1e+ - could also be 4er' 4erball' nast' to people when - was an1r'+ Needless to sa', when - dra11ed m' famil' awa' from our small church - hurt some feelin1s and caused turmoil in m' famil'+ (here is so much to tell+ <' miser' was so 1reat+ - hated bein1 an1r'+ - donIt know if this is possible to understand, but - would 1et so an1r' and - would lash outBand then feel so 1uilt' and hope - didnIt hurt an'one too badl'+ - had a silent ra1e within me as well and - was actuall' be1innin1 to be afraid of it+ The Missin$ Ele"en! >espite how o4erwhelmin1 the miser' of walkin1 in the flesh is, no belie4er in 0hrist need remain in that condition an' lon1erF (he apostle 5aul didnIt+ )isten to his words of 4ictor' in ?omans $/1@2/

(here is now no condemnation for those who are in 0hrist :esus+ *or the law of the Spirit of life in 0hrist :esus has set 'ou free from the law of sin and of death+ *or what the )aw could not do, weak as it was throu1h the flesh, =od did/ sendin1 .is own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offerin1 for sin, .e condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the )aw mi1ht be fulfilled in us, who do not walk accordin1 to the flesh but accordin1 to the Spirit+ 0hild of =od, despite all that 'ou ha4e done contrar' to the will and Dord of =od, 'ou are not condemnedF =od is for 'ou K?omans $/#1L+ .eIs on 'our side and 'ouIre on .isF Dhat has been condemned is 'our sinF Sin was sentenced to death and eCecutedF (hat happened at the cross, so that now 'ou are set free from sinIs hold o4er 'ou and the spiritual death that was 'ours apart from 0hristF 5aul eCplained in ?omans /%@$ that our old sin@lo4in1 self died with 0hrist and 6he who has died is freed from sin+7 (he fact that 'ou ha4e been lettin1 sin rei1n in 'our bod' and ha4e been obe'in1 its lusts K?omans /1"L does not ne1ate the fact that 'ou are free from sinIs control in 0hrist+ Gou are like a man pardoned b' the Eud1e and released from prison after 'ears of hard laborBbut who keeps on sneakin1 back into his Eail cellF M *in$ Freedo" Re l in O#r E;%erience Notice how we make this freedom real in our

eCperience+ ?omans $/2 sa's that the fulfillment of the requirements of the )aw Kobedience to =odIs commandsL occurs in those who 6do not walk accordin1 to the flesh but accordin1 to the Spirit Kemphasis addedL+7 (hat was the ke' that was missin1 in 5aulIs ?omans % eCperience+ K>id 'ou notice that not once is the .ol' Spirit mentioned in 5aulIs description of his stru11leML (he knowled1e and e4en the desire to do what was ri1ht had been there, but the power was notF (ra1icall', most 0hristians are li4in1 in that same spiritual impotence+ (he' are like the man who took his famil' to the car dealership to bu' his first car, a brand@new mini4an+ After the man had si1ned the papers and made the down pa'ment, the salesman handed him the ke's, pointed him to the car, and shook his hand to wish him well+ (he father, thrilled at his new acquisition, piled his wife and kids into the 4anBand proceeded to the rear so he could push it homeF After miles of this eChaustin1 effort, a friend pulled up alon1side him, dri4in1 his own car+ 6Need some help, :oeM7 he asked+ 6Are 'ou out of 1asM7 6Nah, 1as tankIs full+ (he salesman said so+7 6So wh' are 'ou pushin1 itM -tIs brand@new, ri1htM7

6Geah, itIs new, and - was reall' eCcited about it at first, but this is hard work, and -Im 1ettin1 more and more frustrated with the whole thin1+ -Im be1innin1 to think that this car@dri4in1 business doesnIt work for me+ -t seems to work for 'ou, thou1h+7 (he friend, realiJin1 that :oe was clueless, asked, 6>idnIt the salesman 1i4e 'ou a ke' to start itM7 6Gep+ =ot it ri1ht here in m' pocketF7 :oeIs friend then mercifull' eCplained to him that there was power under the hood that would propel that 4ehicle effortlessl' down the road+ All :oe had to do was turn on the i1nition, sit behind the wheel, and 1i4e it some 1as+ So :oe Eo'full' dro4e off into the sunset+ (his parable would ne4er happen in real life of course, at least not with cars+ But it is happenin1 e4er' da' in the spiritual realm as =odIs people desperatel' tr' Kand failFL to li4e the 0hristian life b' their own stren1th rather than b' the power of the .ol' Spirit+ The (oly S%iri!3!he &o)er o/ !he &resence o/ Chris! (alkin1 about the .ol' Spirit makes some people ner4ous, but :esus said a lot about the comin1 of the Spirit, Eust prior to .is death+ .ereIs a samplin1 of the words of :esus .imself from the =ospel of :ohn/

- will ask the *ather, and he will 1i4e 'ou another 0ounselor O.elper, N9:,P to be with 'ou fore4erBthe Spirit of truth+ (he world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him+ But 'ou know him, for he li4es with 'ou and will be in 'ou K:ohn 12/1 @1% N-,L+ (he 0ounselor, the .ol' Spirit, whom the *ather will send in m' name, will teach 'ou all thin1s and will remind 'ou of e4er'thin1 - ha4e said to 'ou K:ohn 12/" N-,L+ - tell 'ou the truth/ -t is for 'our 1ood that - am 1oin1 awa'+ Unless - 1o awa', the 0ounselor will not come to 'ouH but if - 1o, - will send him to 'ou+QDhen he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will 1uide 'ou into all truth+ .e will not speak on his ownH he will speak onl' what he hears, and he will tell 'ou what is 'et to come+ .e will brin1 1lor' to me b' takin1 from what is mine and makin1 it known to 'ou K:ohn 1 /%,1"@12 N-,L+ De think of how wonderful it must ha4e been for the disciples to walk with :esus/ to see .im do .is mar4elous miracles, to hear .is powerful teachin1, to eCperience .is lo4e and merc'+ But :esus .imself said it was better for us that .e 1o awa'+ Dh'M So that the .ol' Spirit would comeF Dhile :esus li4ed on earth, .e limited .imself to time Kabout ## 'earsL and space Kinside a human bod'L+ (he best that people could eCperience in those da's was to ha4e =od with them in the person of :esus+

Now there are no such limitations, and =od throu1h the .ol' Spirit actuall' li4es in all .is childrenF (hat realit' ou1ht to make us pause to think+ (he =od of the uni4erse, the 8ne with all power and wisdom and lo4e, li4es inside e4er' man, woman, and child who belon1s to 0hristF -n fact, our bodies are called 6a temple of the .ol' Spirit7 K1 0orinthians /19L+ No &o)er Shor! $e )i!h God .a4e 'ou felt frustrated and powerless a1ainst the an1er or ra1e in 'our lifeM -f 'ou are a 0hristian, that sense of despair and defeat is based in i1norance, unbelief, or a lieF (he power of =od, 1reater b' far than an' sin, is a4ailable within 'ouF )isten a1ain to 5aul/ 6Now to .im who is able to do far more abundantl' be'ond all that we ask or think, accordin1 to the power that works within us, to .im be the 1lor' in the church and in 0hrist :esus to all 1enerations fore4er and e4er+ Amen7 K;phesians #/"!@"1L+ Dhat ha4e 'ou been pra'in1 forM .a4e 'ou been askin1 =od to control 'our temperM .a4e 'ou been pleadin1 with .im to quell the burnin1 ra1e in 'our lifeM 0an =od do those thin1sM GesF (he Scripture sa's that T =od can do all 'ou ask .im T =od can do all 'ou ask .im or e4en think or ima1ine T =od can do be'ond all that 'ou ask or think T =od can do abundantl' be'ond all that 'ou ask or

think T =od can do far more abundantl' be'ond all that 'ou ask or thinkF (here is no power shorta1e with =odF .e is ea1er, willin1, and able to do all that is in accordance with .is will+ 5erhaps the most amaJin1 truth of all is that the power source, the 1enerator of such mi1ht, li4es within 'ou+ .e, the Spirit, is the 4er' life of 0hristF .ow stron1 is the power of 0hristIs lifeM 5aul pra's that we would see that realit', in ;phesians 1/1$@"#/ - pra' that the e'es of 'our heart ma' be enli1htened, so that 'ou will know what is the hope of .is callin1, what are the riches of the 1lor' of .is inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassin1 1reatness of .is power toward us who belie4e+ (hese are in accordance with the workin1 of the stren1th of .is mi1ht which .e brou1ht about in 0hrist, when .e raised .im from the dead and seated .im at .is ri1ht hand in the hea4enl' places, far abo4e all rule and authorit' and power and dominion, and e4er' name that is named, not onl' in this a1e but also in the one to come+ And .e put all thin1s in subEection under .is feet, and 1a4e .im as head o4er all thin1s to the church, which is .is bod', the fullness of .im who fills all in all+ (on' ;4ans once said, 6-f that doesnIt 1et 'our bell rin1in1, 'our clapperIs bustedF7 (he same awesome power that raised :esus 0hrist from death to life and

brou1ht .im to =odIs ri1ht hand, far abo4e all other authorit', is the same stren1th workin1 in 'ou and meF (hink about that for a moment+ =o back to the dawn of that first ;aster Sunda'+ (here was a 4iolent earthquake+ An an1el, like li1htnin1, came and rolled the stone awa' from the tomb+ (he mi1ht' ?oman 1uards shook in terror and fell faint like dead men+ :esus 0hrist rose from the deadF (he mi1htiest human power on earth, the ?oman 1o4ernment, could not stop .im+ (he most awful forces of e4ilBsin, death, and SatanBcould not hold .im+ :esus rose from the 1ra4e and then ascended far abo4e e4er' earthl' and hea4enl' power to sit at =odIs ri1ht hand+ And brother or sister in 0hrist, that 4er' same power that raised .im up is at work in 'ou throu1h the .ol' SpiritF Bein$ Filled )i!h !he S%iri! o/ Chris! Dhen a belie4er in 0hrist is eCperiencin1 the .ol' SpiritIs powerful presence 1uidin1 and directin1 his life, he is 6filled with the Spirit+7 5aul, b' inspiration of =od, made it clear that this state of spiritual bein1 is not a luCur' but a necessit'+ -t is a command of =od+ >o not 1et drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speakin1 to one another in psalms and h'mns and spiritual son1s, sin1in1 and makin1 melod' with 'our heart to the )ordH alwa's 1i4in1 thanks for all thin1s in the name of our )ord

:esus 0hrist to =od, e4en the *atherH and be subEect to one another in the fear of 0hrist K;phesians &/1$@ "1L+ :ust as the alcohol in wine radicall' alters the personalit' of the drinker, so the fillin1 of the .ol' Spirit transforms the belie4er+ -nstead of an1r', hurtful words, there is a flow of praise and worship from the heart throu1h the lips+ -nstead of 1rumblin1 and complainin1, there is thanks1i4in1+ -nstead of hostilit' and rebellion, there is humilit' and submission to the will of =od+ (his kind of li4in1 is not Eust for the spirituall' elite+ -t is the intended, normal 0hristian life for all belie4ers+ As A+D+ (oJer eCplains, (he Spirit@filled life is not a special, deluCe edition of 0hristianit'+ -t is part and parcel of the total plan of =od for .is people+ Gou must be satisfied that it is not abnormal+ - admit that it is unusual, because there are so few people who walk in the li1ht of it or enEo' it, but it is not abnormal+ -n a world where e4er'bod' was sick, health would be unusual, but it wouldnIt be abnormal+ (his is unusual onl' because our spiritual li4es are so wretchedl' sick and so far down from where the' should be+" Desire /or !he S%iri!-s Fillin$ (here are three primar' prerequisites for the fillin1 of the .ol' Spirit+ (he first prerequisite is desire+ :esus said, 6Blessed are those who hun1er and thirst for

ri1hteousness, for the' shall be satisfied ORfilledI N-,P7 K<atthew &/ L+ (his is not a drows', half@hearted, 61uess - could use some help7 kind of desire+ -t is the same intense 'earnin1 and lon1in1 in the spiritual realm that a star4in1 and thirstin1 man eCperiences in the ph'sical realm+ :esus tells us about this in :ohn %/#%@#9/ 8n the last da', the 1reat da' of the feast, :esus stood and cried out, sa'in1, 6-f an'one is thirst', let him come to <e and drink+ .e who belie4es in <e, as the Scripture said, R*rom his innermost bein1 will flow ri4ers of li4in1 water+I 7 But this .e spoke of the Spirit, whom those who belie4ed in .im were to recei4eH for the Spirit was not 'et 1i4en, because :esus was not 'et 1lorified+ (#"ili!y Is Needed /or !he S%iri!-s Fillin$ -n order to brin1 us to the point of such hun1er and thirst for .im, =od often has to break our stubborn will+ (hat breakin1 produces the second prerequisite, humilit'+ 6=od is opposed to the proud, but 1i4es 1race to the humble,7 :ames 2/ sa's+ De ha4e to come to the point where, when we reach into our fleshl' ba1 of tricks, we find it empt', and realiJe that we ha4e been li4in1 our li4es independentl' of =od+ De ha4e to come to the point where we humble oursel4es under the mi1ht' hand of =od K1 5eter &/ L, confess our sins, and repent of li4in1 b' our own stren1th and resources+

God Brin$s Us !o !he End o/ O#rsel,es -t ma' take a lot to brin1 some belie4ers to the end of their resources so that the' can disco4er =odIs resources+ -f necessar', =od will orchestrate our own breakin1 throu1h discipline+ .ebrews 1"/&@% encoura1es us that =od disciplines us in lo4e because we are .is sons+ .e disciplines us for our 1ood, that we mi1ht share .is holiness K.ebrews 1"/1!L+ .e knows that li4in1 accordin1 to the flesh is futile, and so .e allows us to come to our own painful conclusion about the futilit' of our own self@centered wa's+ .opefull', we will be wise enou1h to surrender to .is will+ .ebrews 1"/11@1# pro4ides a word of encoura1ement as well as a warnin1 about =odIs discipline and breakin1 of our wills/ All discipline for the moment seems not to be Eo'ful, but sorrowfulH 'et to those who ha4e been trained b' it, afterwards it 'ields the peaceful fruit of ri1hteousness+ (herefore, stren1then the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make strai1ht paths for 'our feet, so that the limb which is lame ma' not be put out of Eoint, but rather be healed+ =od orchestrates the circumstances of our li4es to re4eal fleshl' li4in1, breaks us of that self@centered lifest'le, and pa4es the wa' for a fresh fillin1 of the Spirit+ )ike most belie4ers, - had to learn the hard wa'+ - first became aware of the Spirit@filled life durin1 m'

Eunior 'ear in colle1e+ After m' sal4ation two 'ears prior, - had battled =od o4er who was 1oin1 to reall' be the )ord of m' life+ (hrou1h the miser' of life li4ed for self, =od finall' 1ot m' attention, and - opened m'self wide to the .ol' SpiritIs powerful, 1uidin1 presence+ Suddenl', the 0hristian life was not a dra1 or a dut' but a deli1ht+ - Eo'ousl' witnessed for 0hrist and found m' lo4e for the Dord of =od insatiable+ (he fruit of the Spirit be1an to de4elop in m' character, and m' sarcastic, c'nical ton1ue be1an to preach =odIs truth+ God Is F i!h/#l !o Con!in#e Disci%linin$ Us No matter how lon1 one has walked with =od in the power of the .ol' Spirit, there are alwa's new areas on which the )ord puts .is fin1er+ *or the <iller famil', the latest one has been dealin1 with our adopted son, )uke+ )et me be1in b' sa'in1 that Shirle' and - ha4e absolutel' no doubts that =od brou1ht him into our famil'+ .e is a precious 1ift from the )ord and o4erall a 4er' happ', e4en deli1htful, child+ .e is ener1etic, affectionate, and funn'+ But - can honestl' sa' that no human bein1 has e4er pushed m' buttons the wa' that little fi4e@'ear@old bo' hasF ;arlier in this book - wrote about his temper tantrums+ (here was somethin1 about the defiance, out@of@control ra1e, shrill screamin1, an1r' 'ellin1, and destructi4e beha4ior that cried out for a fleshl' response+ .e was Kand still is at timesL an eCplosi4e

childBand unfortunatel', when we first 1ot him eCploded ri1ht back+ As someone who has known how to be filled with the Spirit for more then "& 'ears, - am ashamed at how carnall' - responded to )uke+ Dhen he would 'ell, would 'ell louder+ Dhen he 1lared at me, - would 1lare back+ - was determined to win the power stru11le, but m' methods were purel' of the flesh+ 8ne da' after - was particularl' harsh with him 4erball', - closed his door, fell to m' knees, and wept+ knew that m' beha4ior was 1rie4in1 =od and hurtin1 )uke, and - wanted out+ At that moment, =od broke me of m' self@reliance and fleshl' retaliation+ Dith a new surrender to =odIs Spirit, - sensed peace, Eo', and 1entleness return to me+ B' =odIs 1race, - ha4e not 1one back+ Some of )ukeIs beha4ior still an1ers me, but now it is on the le4el of anno'ance and irritation instead of hostilit' and ra1e+ 8nce we eChaust all our human efforts at o4ercomin1 our an1er and fur' Kand other sinsL, and we finall' 1i4e up tr'in1 to fiC our problems b' oursel4es, then we are prime candidates for the SpiritIs fillin1+ &#!!in$ O// nd &#!!in$ On Stephen 9ellou1h, chaplain at Dheaton 0olle1e in -llinois, made these obser4ations after the 199& mo4ement of =odIs Spirit on that campus, which was characteriJed b' heart@wrenchin1 confession,

repentance, and brokenness/ Dith the confession of sin, sincere repentance, and a commitment to pur1e our li4es from e4er' known sin, we are 6puttin1 off 7 un1odl' and self@destructi4e beha4ior+ (he biblical challen1e is to follow the puttin1 off with a puttin1 on+ (he scriptural imperati4e is to follow an empt'in1 with a fillin1+QO-n ;phesians #/12@ "1P the apostle is pra'in1 for powerBspiritual power+ (he apostle is callin1 down power from hea4enB power for 6the inner bein1,7 power for li4in1, because it is in the 6inner bein17 where life is reall' li4ed+ Now ma'be all of this talk about 6spiritual power7 and 6the inner bein17 sounds theoretical, impractical, or e4en m'stical+ But in realit', nothin1 could be more practical+ 5aul is seekin1 stren1th for the soul, where all decision@makin1 and choices for life are made+# ArenIt 'ou tired of reactin1 in fleshl' an1erM - sure was+ DouldnIt 'ou like to find 'ourself respondin1 accordin1 to the fruit of the Spirit rather than accordin1 to the deeds of the fleshM Belie4e me, the difference is like ni1ht and da'+ -t is a choice 'ou can make toda'+ F i!h /or !he S%iri!-s Fillin$ 8nce we come to the point of deepl' desirin1 =odIs Spirit to fill Kdirect and empowerL us, and we are trul' humbled and broken of self@reliance, we must respond to =od in faith+ *aith is the third prerequisite to bein1 filled with the .ol' Spirit+ .ebrews 11/ teaches, 6Dithout faith it is impossible to please .im, for he

who comes to =od must belie4e that .e is and that .e is a rewarder of those who seek .im+7 >o 'ou belie4e that =od will reward 'ou when 'ou seek .im to fill 'ou with the SpiritM -f 'ou do, that is faith+ :esus showed us =odIs ea1erness to fill us with the .ol' Spirit, when .e asked, Now suppose one of 'ou fathers is asked b' his son for a fishH he will not 1i4e him a snake instead of a fish, will heM 8r if he is asked for an e11, he will not 1i4e him a scorpion, will heM -f 'ou then, bein1 e4il, know how to 1i4e 1ood 1ifts to 'our children, how much more will 'our hea4enl' *ather 1i4e the .ol' Spirit to those who ask .imM K)uke 11/11@1#L+ =od wants 'ou to be filled with the .ol' SpiritF -t is .is desire, .is command K;phesians &/1$L+ .e would not declare somethin1 to be .is will and then turn around and be reluctant to bestow it, would .eM Li/e in !he S%iri! As belie4ers in 0hrist, we donIt need to ask for the .ol' Spirit to come inH .eIs alread' there+ 5aul makes this clear in ?omans $/9, where he declares that 6if an'one does not ha4e the Spirit of 0hrist, he does not belon1 to .im+7 (he human spirit of e4er' true born@ a1ain child of =od is in union with the .ol' Spirit K?omans $/1 L+ Dhat we need is for the life of 0hrist to be full' manifested in our spirit, soul, and bod'+ (hat is what it means to 1lorif' =od in our bodies, that is, to

manifest the presence of =od+ Some belie4e that there are also mo4ements of =odIs .ol' Spirit from outside us, which Andrew <urra' clarifies/ >ear belie4er, please do not waste 'our time decidin1 which of these is the ri1ht one+ =od blesses men in both camps+ Dhen the flood came all the fountains of the ab'ss were broken up and the 1ates of hea4en were opened+ -t came simultaneousl' from beneath and from abo4e+ =od is prepared to bless men in both camps+ .e desires to teach us to know and honor the Spirit who is alread' within us+ .e also desires to brin1 us to wait upon .imself in a spirit of utter dependence, and to beseech .im that .e as our *ather would 1i4e us our dail' bread, the new, the fuller influC of .is Spirit+ >o not allow 'ourself to be held back b' this question+ =od understands 'our petition+ .e knows what 'ou desire+ Belie4e that =od is prepared to fill 'ou with .is SpiritH let that faith look up to .im with unceasin1 pra'er and confidence+ .e will 1i4e the blessin1+2 (he Spirit@filled life is essentiall' the same as abidin1 in 0hrist, who is our life+ (he )ord :esus spoke eCplicitl' about this intimate connection in :ohn 1&/ Abide in <e, and - in 'ou+ As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the 4ine, so neither can 'ou unless 'ou abide in <e+ - am the 4ine, 'ou are the branchesH he who abides in <e and - in him, he bears much fruitH for apart from <e 'ou can do nothin1 K4erses 2@&L+

(he branch of a 1rape4ine does not, b' itself, 1enerate the fruit that han1s from it+ (he life, ener1', and nourishment that create the fruit flow up throu1h the 4ine and into the branch+ Apart from the 4ine, the branch will be useless and fruitless+ But a branch properl' connected to the 4ine will bear fruit+ So it is with our relationship with :esus+ -f we tr' to li4e the 0hristian life in our own stren1th, we cannot bear fruit because the fruit of the 0hristian can onl' be 6the fruit of the Spirit7 K=alatians &/""@"#L+ (he onl' power source capable of producin1 such fruit is the .ol' Spirit who dwells within us+ An outburst of an1er is a deed of the flesh K=alatians &/"!L+ (he 1oal is not simpl' to stop the deeds of the flesh+ (he 1oal is to be filled with the Spirit+ )o4e must replace hate+ :o' o4ercomes 1rumblin1+ 5eace replaces anCiet'+ 5atience replaces an1er+ 9indness o4ercomes hostilit'+ =oodness replaces malice+ *aithfulness o4ercomes a lack of trust+ =entleness replaces rudeness+ *inall' we ha4e self@control, where before we lost control+ The Choice o/ F i!h De ha4e a choice as to whether we are 1oin1 to li4e b' the Spirit or li4e accordin1 to the flesh+ (hese two are in direct opposition to each other, accordin1 to 5aul in =alatians &/1 @1%/ - sa', walk b' the Spirit, and 'ou will not carr' out the

desire of the flesh+ *or the flesh sets its desire a1ainst the Spirit, and the Spirit a1ainst the fleshH for these are in opposition to one another, so that 'ou ma' not do the thin1s that 'ou please+ As <ark tells us, :esus sent the disciples out across the Sea of =alilee after feedin1 the &!!! K<ark /2&L+ (he <aster, howe4er, sta'ed behind to pra' on the mountain+ )ate that ni1ht, :esus and the disciples had an encounter, one that can chan1e our li4es Eust as it did theirs/ Seein1 them strainin1 at the oars, for the wind was a1ainst them, at about the fourth watch of the ni1ht .e came to them, walkin1 on the seaH and .e intended to pass b' them+ But when the' saw .im walkin1 on the sea, the' supposed that it was a 1host, and cried outH for the' all saw .im and were terrified+ But immediatel' .e spoke with them and said to them, 6(ake coura1eH it is -, do not be afraid7 K<ark /2$@&!L+ <an' of us are like the disciples+ De are stru11lin1 and strainin1, tr'in1 to li4e the 0hristian life on our own power, and we are 1ettin1 nowhere+ -f 'ou want to row a1ainst the storms of life, 1o ahead+ =od will let 'ou do so until 'ou collapse in eChaustion, for :esus alwa's intends to pass b' the self@sufficient person+ As lon1 as we think we can do it oursel4es, .e will let us+ But those who call upon the name of the )ord will be sa4ed+ Dhen the disciples acknowled1ed their need for help b' cr'in1 out in fear, :esus came to them+ .e responded immediatel' once the' admitted their

weakness+ -snIt it time to break the c'cle of defeat in 'our lifeM -f that is 'our desire, wonIt 'ou Eoin us in a pra'er of faith, askin1 =od to brin1 the fillin1 of .is SpiritM &r y )i!h #s' >ear hea4enl' *ather, - ha4e li4ed too lon1 in the bonda1e and defeat of the ?omans chapter % stru11le+ - want to enter into the life of 4ictor' of ?omans chapter $+ Gou ha4e shown me so clearl' that - cannot o4ercome an1er in m' own stren1th and b' m' own resources+ -n pride - ha4e been rowin1 a1ainst the storms of life+ - ha4e come to the end of m' resources+ - now ask Gou, b' Gour 1race, to fill me with the .ol' Spirit+ - surrender to Gour will and wisdom, and - recei4e Gour lo4e and power+ Be m' stren1th to o4ercome the deeds of m' flesh and to bear the fruit of the Spirit in m' life+ - choose to abide in 0hrist and bear much fruit+ - choose b' faith to belie4e that Gou will enable me to li4e abo4e the power of sin+ Should - fall to temptation and resort to li4in1 b' the flesh, - pra' that Gou will con4ict me, that ma' a1ain be filled b' Gour .ol' Spirit+ =i4e me sensiti4e spiritual ears to be led b' the Spirit of truth+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+

C(A&TER 28 Bre *in$ S!ron$holds o/ An$er4 & r! One (o rule oneIs an1er is wellH to pre4ent it is still better+ B(?G8N ;>DA?>S =ar'Is stron1, athletic shoulders were hunched o4er and his head was bent down as - walked into his coachIs office+ .is discoura1ement was understandable+ (he last ten da's had been prett' humblin1 for the "#@'ear@old colle1e senior+ .e had been arrested for drunk and disorderl' conduct and had spent a ni1ht in Eail+ .e had been suspended from the baseball team for a week+ Because of this he had been 1oin1 to AA meetin1s for se4en da's strai1ht+ Now he was faced with the prospect of airin1 his dirt' laundr' in front of this complete stran1er called in as a counselor, with two coaches present+ - found =ar' to be friendl', respectful, likeable, intelli1ent, and articulate+ (here was nothin1 immediatel' apparent to su11est he had a problem with an1er and 4iolence+ Get b' his own admission =ar' had a histor' of fi1htin1 since his earl' teens+ .is intense ra1e was the result of sufferin1 4erbal and ph'sical abuse from his stepfather+ -t boiled o4er in an1r' battles with peers, with =ar' usuall' comin1 out on top+ (he 4ictories made him feel better, he said, at

least for a few minutes+ .is peers certainl' respected him, and feared him as well+ 6-I4e ne4er backed down from a fi1ht in m' life+ - canIt,7 he admitted durin1 our first session to1ether+ 6Dhen m' stepfather would slap me and throw me around the room, - would fi1ht him+ - did that Icause - hoped heId kill me+ - reall' did+ - wanted to kill m'self+7 -n hi1h school, he took out his a11ression on the football field, as a defensi4e end+ =ar' liked football+ .is an1er fueled his pla', and he was not afraid to fail+ -n football, he told me, there is so much action durin1 an' 1i4en pla' that rarel' does one mistake stand out+ But baseball was different+ -t posed more of a threat, since itIs harder to hide on a baseball field, and thereIs nowhere to let out 'our a11ression+ =ar' told me that other people thou1ht he was cool because he was a 1ood athlete, but he knew deep down that his life was controlled b' a terrible fear of failure and reEection+ All an'bod' else e4er saw was the competiti4e fire and the an1er+ (hat is all =ar' would let them see+ Dithout football to act as a release 4al4e for his steamin1hot ra1e, he turned to alcohol to numb his pain+ But it onl' added fuel to the an1r' fire inside him, and the result was his arrest, hearin1, and possible sentencin1 to communit' ser4ice or a fine+ 5lus he had to make an appointment with me+

=ar' had a stron1hold of an1er, but he had an e4en deeper stron1hold of reEection+ (he reEection, his sense of worthlessness, and his self@loathin1 had spawned the an1er and the 4iolent temper+ =ar' is a belie4er in 0hrist, but like most 0hristians, he has 'et to learn to trust :esus not onl' as Sa4ior but also as )ord and )ife+ =ar' needs to know who he is in 0hrist and needs to learn to walk b' faith in the power of the .ol' Spirit+ A Bo#rney !o Freedo" (o break the stron1holds of an1er, we encoura1e 'ou to first work throu1h the 6Steps to *reedom in 0hrist7 located in the back of this book+ (hose steps will enable 'ou to do a thorou1h, broad@based spiritual 6housecleanin17 in 'our life+ (hen come back and work throu1h the steps outlined in this chapter and the neCt+ (hese will act like a spiritual laser beam, focusin1 intensel' and precisel' on the issue of an1er+ (he followin1 process is reall' a Eourne' to freedom+ -t is the same Eourne' that the )ord is takin1 =ar' on+ (hese steps represent a summar' of the biblical realities that need to be at work in an indi4idualIs life in order for him or her to break free from the control of fleshl' an1er and ra1e+ But this is a 1uide, not a 1od+ <akin1 these spiritual strides is onl' possible throu1h the enablin1 1race of =od, and doin1 so does not in an' wa' make us more acceptable to .im than we alread' are in 0hrist+

Gou will see that each step requires either a liberatin1 act of 1raspin1 the truth or a critical decision of repentance and faith, or both+ (hou1h we ha4e placed the steps in a particular order, the .ol' Spirit has the ri1ht to take each of us on our own 4er' personal Eourne' of freedom, mo4in1 us throu1h these steps in whiche4er order .e sees fit+ -n realit', .e will likel' ha4e us workin1 on se4eral of them simultaneousl'+ De will spend the neCt two chapters eCplorin1 the principles contained in each step+ De will conclude with some su11estions for maintainin1 our freedom in 0hrist+ STE&S TOWARD BREA0ING STRONG(OLDS OF ANGER 1+ - know that - am now a child of =od and that m' old, an1r' self was crucified with 0hrist+ ;4er' born@a1ain belie4er is a new creation in 0hrist K" 0orinthians &/1%L+ De are not for1i4en sinners, we are redeemed saints+ )ike an u1l' caterpillar inside its cocoon chan1es into a beautiful butterfl', so we died, were buried, and were raised into newness of life in 0hrist Ksee ?omans /1@2L+ ?omans /&@% proclaims, -f we ha4e become united with .im in the likeness of .is death, certainl' we shall also be in the likeness of .is resurrection, knowin1 this, that our old self was crucified with .im, in order that our bod' of sin mi1ht

be done awa' with, so that we would no lon1er be sla4es to sinH for he who has died is freed from sin+ De ha4e been transferred out of the kin1dom of darkness into the kin1dom of =odIs belo4ed Son K0olossians 1/1#L+ De are no lon1er 6in Adam,7 we are now ali4e and free 6in 0hrist+7 Bein1 dead to sin means that we are no lon1er sla4es to sin+ Sin is no lon1er our master K?omans /12L, because the power of sin has been broken+ B' the enablin1 1race of =od we can sa' 6no7 to sin+ De can li4e 6self@controlled, upri1ht and 1odl' li4es7 K(itus "/11@1" N-,L+ De can choose to walk b' the Spirit and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh K=alatians &/1 @1%L+ (his truth has tremendous ramifications for belie4ers controlled b' fleshl' an1er and ra1e+ All eCcuses are 1oneBbut so is our helplessness+ De cannot sa', 6Eust canIt help it+ (hatIs the wa' - am+7 (hat is not true if we ha4e 0hrist in our li4es+ De now can sa', 6-n 0hrist - can li4e a ri1hteous life+ - can walk b' the Spirit and not carr' out the desires of the flesh+ Sin is no lon1er m' master, since - am now a bond@ser4ant of 0hrist+7 No) We C n Li,e in (o%e 9nowin1 all this to be true brin1s hope+ Since - am no lon1er a child of the de4il, but a liberated child of =od K;phesians &/$H 1 :ohn #/1@#L, all m' hea4enl' *atherIs resources are now a4ailable to deal with m' problems of an1er+ - am not alone, abandoned,

helpless, or hopeless+ <a'be 'ouI4e worn the label 6ra1e@aholic+7 <a'be 'ouI4e e4en ser4ed time for crimes committed in an1er+ <a'be 'ou ha4e clutched onto 'our an1er as a 6deser4ed7 bad1e of honor, thereb' broadcastin1 to the world that 'ou are an abuse sur4i4or+ <a'be 'ou ha4e wielded the sword of an1er in order to ensure self@protection and to make sure 'ou 1et 'our own wa'+ <a'be 'ou fear 'ou will ne4er o4ercome the an1r', ed1' defensi4eness that lies barel' restrained beneath the surface of 'our soul+ 9now toda', child of =od, that all fleshl' an1er and ra1e lost its power o4er 'ou the moment 'ou trusted 0hrist as Sa4ior+ Shed the labels that tr' to declare 'ou bound to the darkness, and recei4e the pure truth that 'ou are sealed in 0hrist as a child of the *ather throu1h the .ol' SpiritF (he ke' to lastin1l' liberate us from the chains of an1er must be for1ed from the truth of our new *atherAchild relationship with the li4in1 =od+ K?eliance upon a 4a1ue 6.i1her 5ower7 or self@ created 6=od as we ha4e come to know .im7 simpl' will not be sufficient+L 9ent was under1oin1 counselin1, and part of his therap' was to attend a menIs Bible stud' - was leadin1 on 6breakin1 the chains7 in our souls+ .e would reluctantl' show up, listenin1 but not participatin1+ (he look on his face ran1ed from amusement to an1er to indifference+

9ent Eust did not seem to be able to 1et the 0hristian life to work for him, and he was an1r', especiall' with =od and himself+ .ere is what he said about his life/ (he truth contained in ;phesians "/$@1! freed me from m' own little brand of le1alism Ofor sal4ationP+ But - still tend to impose on m'self a set of rules that are impossible to attain+ (he current rule that - stru11le with is faith+ - canIt trust =od+ - tr' and - want to, but fail miserabl'+ - want to trust =od with m' doubts about m'self and .is in4ol4ement in m' life+ But - ha4e a 4oice inside that tells me - am no 1ood and worthless and that - canIt trust =od+ Sure, some da's - feel prett' 1ood about m'self, then it returnsBthe doubt and self@ hate+ (he more others put eCpectations on me, the more - stru11le+ .ardl' a da' 1oes b' that - donIt eCperience tremendous emotional pain from this feelin1 of failure+ - ha4e come to realiJe that - am a spiritual failure and accept m'self as one+ Unable to trust =od with m' worries and concerns, - Eust hope - can make it throu1h this time in m' life without seriousl' hurtin1 m' wife and famil'+ )ater, when 9ent shared his testimon' of freedom in a small 1roup at a menIs retreat, - was amaJed+ =one were the an1er, depression, and sense of failure that had trapped him+ Dhat had tri11ered the downward spiral into the trapM *eelin1 4er' inadequate when asked to ser4e in a position of church leadership+ Dhat had set him freeM 9nowin1 that he was a totall'

accepted child of =od, adequate in 0hrist to ser4e in an' wa' .e saw fit, and free from the sla4er' of sin+ "+ - confess that - still ha4e a problem with fleshl' an1er, which is sin, and that b' m'self - am incapable of o4ercomin1 its control o4er me+ (he truth of our new identit' in 0hrist does not ne1ate the realit' that all of us battle flesh patterns to one de1ree or another+ -t is a denial of realit' when we refuse to face the facts that clearl' indicate we ha4e a problem with fleshl' an1er+ .ealin1 can onl' come when we coura1eousl' face the truth that we ha4e a problem be'ond our abilit' to sol4e+ 5ride will tr' to decei4e us into thinkin1 we can o4ercome our an1er in our own stren1th, but :esus said, 6Apart from <e 'ou can do nothin17 K:ohn 1&/&, emphasis addedL+ >o 'ou an1er easil'M >o people sa' 'ou ha4e a temperM -s an1er an emotion 'ou readil' displa', or ne4er dare to showM >o 'ou belie4e 'ou ha4e a ri1ht to be an1r'M >o 'ou require medication to relie4e stress or stress@related maladiesM Are 'ou upti1htM >o 'ou find 'ourself easil' irritated or impatientM >o 'ou resent other dri4ers and 4ehicles on the roadM Are 'ou a sore loserM >o 'ou tend to 1et upset b' matters o4er which 'ou ha4e little or no abilit' to controlM -n the wisdom literature we read, A fool alwa's loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back K5ro4erbs "9/11L+

A fool shows his anno'ance at once, but a prudent man o4erlooks an insult K5ro4erbs 1"/1 N-,L+ .e who is slow to an1er has 1reat understandin1, but he who is quick@tempered eCalts foll' K5ro4erbs 12/"9L+ >o not associate with a man 1i4en to an1er, or 1o with a hot@tempered man, or 'ou will learn his wa's and find a snare for 'ourself K5ro4erbs ""/"2@"&L+ A man of 1reat an1er will bear the penalt', for if 'ou rescue him, 'ou will onl' ha4e to do it a1ain K5ro4erbs 19/19L+ .e who is slow to an1er is better than the mi1ht', and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a cit' K5ro4erbs 1 /#"L+ A manIs discretion makes him slow to an1er, and it is his 1lor' to o4erlook a trans1ression K5ro4erbs 19/11L+ -n the kin1dom of =od we donIt tr' to control or manipulate others throu1h an1er+ =od calls people who do this fools, and .e is not the least bit impressed b' their abilit' to an1ril' manipulate people and circumstances+ -n fact, Scripture warns that such people will fall into trouble, as will those who han1 around them+

Fro" Deni l !o (ones!y (he second step to freedom from controllin1 an1er in4ol4es 1ettin1 out of denial and comin1 face@to@face with 'our an1er problem+ As m' counselin1 times with =ar' ha4e continued, - ha4e been refreshed b' his honest'+ ?ecentl' he declared, 6- know wh' -I4e had such problems with an1er+ - ha4e tried to do e4er'thin1 m'self, and what -I4e been doin1 hasnIt worked+7 >a4id once kept silent about his sin, and he shared the consequences of his co4er@up in 5salm #"/#@2/ 6Dhen - kept silent about m' sin, m' bod' wasted awa' throu1h m' 1roanin1 all da' lon1+ *or da' and ni1ht Gour hand was hea4' upon meH m' 4italit' was drained awa' as with the fe4er heat of summer+7 .is ps'chosomatic illness was due to unconfessed sin, which finall' led him to walk into the li1ht+ 6acknowled1ed m' sin to Gou, and m' iniquit' - did not hideH - said, R- will confess m' trans1ressions to the )8?>,I and Gou for1a4e the 1uilt of m' sin7 K5salm #"/&L+ (he )ord wonIt let one of .is children li4e in denial, because .e lo4es them too much+ :eremiah wrote, 6-n spite of all these thin1s, 'et 'ou said, R- am innocentH surel' .is an1er is turned awa' from me+I Behold, O=odP will enter into Eud1ment with 'ou because 'ou sa', R- ha4e not sinned+I 7 K:eremiah "/#2@#&L+ >o not make the mistake of i1norin1 or den'in1 'our

an1er problem+ =odIs 1race for healin1 awaits, but it is onl' to the humble man that .e 1i4es it K:ames 2/ L+ >o not resist =odIs humblin1 process as .e breaks down 'our fleshl' defenses and brin1s 'ou to the end of 'our own resources+ 6A broken and a contrite heart, 8 =od, Gou will not despise7 K5salm &1/1%L+ Gou ma' find it 4er' painful to see 'our copin1 mechanisms crumblin1+ Gou ma' not like what 'ou see in 'ourself at all+ But know that the )ord will ne4er despise 'ou as 'ou come face@to@face with 'our weakness and the failure of the flesh+ #+ - choose to belie4e that the presence and power of 0hrist within me is m' onl' hope for breakin1 free from an1erIs control+ (his book has no power to set 'ou free from the power of sin, nor does an' personal counselor or counselin1 procedure+ No set of 4ideo@or audiocassettes can free 'ou from the chains of controllin1 an1er+ (he power to deli4er 'ou and me from an' sin lies solel' in the )ord :esus 0hrist and in the truth of .is Dord+ .e can and does work throu1h a book, seminar, sermon, pastor, or counselor as .is instruments, but it is the Son who sets us 6free indeed7 K:ohn $/# L+ -f 'ou are puttin1 'our trust in an' person Kincludin1 'ourselfL or an' human method, 'our faith will pro4e mis1uided and futile+ But 6he who belie4es in .im will not be disappointed7 K?omans 9/##L+ :eremiah 1%/&@$ tells us wh'/

(hus sa's the )8?>, 60ursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his stren1th, and whose heart turns awa' from the )8?>+ *or he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperit' comes, but will li4e in ston' wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant+ 6Blessed is the man who trusts in the )8?> and whose trust is the )8?>+ *or he will be like a tree planted b' the water, that eCtends its roots b' a stream and will not fear when the heat comesH but its lea4es will be 1reen, and it will not be anCious in a 'ear of drou1ht nor cease to 'ield fruit+7 Dhen we use the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist to help people resol4e their personal and spiritual conflicts, we encoura1e those we counsel to seek as much pra'er support as possible+ -n addition, we stron1l' ur1e people who come to us to brin1 alon1 a trusted friend to bathe the entire session in pra'er+ ;ach one of the Steps be1ins with a pra'er requestin1 that =od brin1 to mind the issues that .e wants each indi4idual to deal with+ *requentl' we will pause durin1 the session to ask the )ord for wisdom, stren1th, freedom from confusion, or protection+ De pra' in faith because we know that :esus has come to brin1 1ood news to the afflicted, to bind up broken hearts, to proclaim libert' to capti4es and freedom to prisoners K-saiah 1/1L+ As we pra', =od 1i4es us the stren1th to not be discoura1ed but to perse4ere until the person weIre counselin1 breaks throu1h to resolution and freedom+

>iscoura1ement is one of SatanIs most effecti4e weapons+ .e wants us to 1i4e up on =od and to disbelie4e that 0hrist is willin1 and able to set us free+ De are often like the man <ark tells about whose son was terribl' demoniJed+ .e pleaded with :esus, 6-f Gou can do an'thin1, take pit' on us and help usF7 K<ark 9/""L+ 6:esus said to him, R 6-f Gou canM7 All thin1s are possible to him who belie4es+I -mmediatel' the bo'Is father cried out and said, R- do belie4eH help m' unbelief+I 7 K4erses "#@"2L+ :esus quickl' set the bo' free, and later eCplained to the disciples the reason for the failure of their earlier attempt to help the bo'/ 6(his kind cannot come out b' an'thin1 but pra'er7 K4erse "9L+ 5ra'er demonstrates our dependence upon =od+ Be honest with =od+ -f 'ou are stru11lin1 with unbelief, tell =od that 'our faith is weak+ Ask .im to help 'our unbelief+ As we see in <ark 9, :esus accepted the honest' of the man who came to .im, and .e will accept 'ours as well+ And take a proacti4e approach to pullin1 to1ether an arm' of pra'er warriors who will call upon the )ord :esus 0hrist and claim the fact that the power of sin and Satan in 'our life has been broken+ <ake pra'er 'our number@one priorit'+ :ames &/1# sa's, 6-s an'one amon1 'ou sufferin1M (hen he must pra'7 Kemphasis addedL+ De onl' 1i4e lip ser4ice to our dependence

upon =od if we ne1lect to pra'+ But 6the effecti4e pra'er of a ri1hteous man can accomplish much7 K:ames &/1 L+ 0onsider these powerful pra'er promises/ (rul' - sa' to 'ou, if 'ou ha4e faith and do not doubt, 'ou will not onl' do what was done to the fi1 tree, but e4en if 'ou sa' to this mountain, 6Be taken up and cast into the sea,7 it will happen+ And all thin1s 'ou ask in pra'er, belie4in1, 'ou will recei4e K<atthew "1/"1@ ""L+ -f 'ou abide in <e, and <' words abide in 'ou, ask whate4er 'ou wish, and it shall be done for 'ou K:ohn 1&/%L+ (rul', trul', - sa' to 'ou, he who belie4es in <e, the works that - do, he will do alsoH and 1reater works than these he will doH because - 1o to the *ather+ Dhate4er 'ou ask in <' name, that will - do, so that the *ather ma' be 1lorified in the Son+ -f 'ou ask <e an'thin1 in <' name, - will do it K:ohn 12/1"@12L+ Sel/Icon!rol Is God-s Will /or +o# >o not belie4e the de4ilIs lie that =od will help others but will not help 'ou+ -f 'ou are a belie4er in 0hrist, 6it is =od who is at work in 'ou, both to will and to work for .is 1ood pleasure7 K5hilippians "/1#L+ -s it =odIs will for 'ou to be free from an1erIs controlM 8f course

it isF (hen know and choose to belie4e that 'ou can do all thin1s throu1h 0hrist who stren1thens 'ou K5hilippians 2/1#L+ Self@control is a fruit of the Spirit K=alatians &/"#L+ (o keep a deed of the flesh from manifestin1 itself, stop and pra'+ Ask the )ord to fill 'ou with .is Spirit, and then belie4e that .e has+ .ere are some su11estions that mi1ht help 'ou draw upon the SpiritIs power rather than reactin1 in the flesh/ 1+ Be especiall' pra'erful when 'ou are about to 1o into a situation that or be with a person who pushes 'our an1er buttons, thou1h of course we must alwa's be spirituall' alert+ :esus said, 69eep watchin1 and pra'in1 that 'ou ma' not enter into temptationH the spirit is willin1, but the flesh is weak7 K<atthew " /21L+ "+ ?eco1niJe the buttons that stimulate 'our old flesh patterns+ (hese are thin1s like irritatin1 noise, someone 'ellin1 at 'ou, 1uilt@manipulation, attacks on 'our competence, and so on+ Be aware of 'our bod'Is 6cues7 that 'ou are startin1 to 1et an1r' Kfor eCample, tenseness, restlessness, lack of concentration, clenched fists, and so onL+1 >eep@breathin1 eCercises and muscle@relaCation techniques can be quite helpful, but steer clear of an'thin1 that would require 'ou to passi4el' empt' 'our mind+ #+ (r' to 1et some space between 'ourself and the stimulant to an1er+ >onIt put 'ourself in situations of 1reat temptation+ 5aul said, 6*lee from 'outhful lusts7 K" (imoth' "/""L+ 5olitel' eCcuse 'ourself from a con4ersation if 'ou need to, and come back when 'ou

ha4e cooled down+ 5ro4erbs 1%/12 sa's, 6(he be1innin1 of strife is like lettin1 out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out+7 2+ <ake 1ood use of 6an1er blasters,7 constructi4e di4ersions that can 1et 'our mind off the an1er stimulant for a while+" Gou can Eo1, ride a bike, take a walk in the woods, pump iron, or 1o for a dri4e in the countr'+ A lot of the tension 'ou feel when 'ou are an1r' is 'our bod'Is inborn mechanism preparin1 'ou to fi1ht+ B' en1a1in1 in a ph'sical acti4it', 'ou diffuse that an1r' ener1'+ (he more pleasin1 the surroundin1s to which 'ou retreat, the more soothin1 the' will be to 'our soul+ &+ Slow down and focus 'our mind on truth+ Some people find it helpful to count to 1!, or to count to 1!! backwards if the' are reall' an1r'+ De encoura1e 'ou to recite Scripture in 'our mind when 'our flesh patterns are stimulated b' someone or somethin1+ + Ask 'ourself these questions/ 6-s this reall' worth m' attentionM -s m' an1er EustifiedM >o - ha4e a ri1ht or abilit' to do an'thin1 about itM -s this a 1oal or a desireM7 (here is 6a time for war and a time for peace7 K;cclesiastes #/$L, but we ha4e to make sure our an1er is Eustified before we 61o to war+7 <ake sure 'ou choose wisel', for the person who fi1hts o4er e4er'thin1 wins nothin1+ And when 'ou need to stand 'our 1round, speak the truth in lo4e K;phesians 2/1&L

-n closin1, listen to how =od is helpin1 this woman learn to break a stron1hold of an1er in her life/ An1er, issues of control, and selfishness ha4e been consumin1 too much of m' life for too lon1+ (he' affect me in all areas of life+ *inall', =od has placed me with a husband who has stru11led with his own controllin1 and selfish nature+ - am slowl' learnin1 the power of bitin1 m' ton1ue and 1oin1 to pra'er instead of to war+ Usuall' the tri11erin1 issues are tri4ial, which is all the more reason to let them 1o+ - hear o4er and o4er 6let 1o and let =od+7 *or me, itIs not alwa's that simple, but - am learnin1 to 1i4e .im more of me each da'+ -t is o4erwhelmin1 how unworth' - feel, and how small, when - continuall' let an1er win, and 'et =od has continued to bless me and open doors didnIt think would open in m' life+ - confess - still fail with m' an1er, but - belie4e as - honestl' and humbl' open m' heart each da' that .e is continuin1 to wash me and speak to me and most amaJin1l'Qwait 5A(-;N()G+ &le se =oin !o$e!her )i!h #s in %r yer. >ear hea4enl' *ather, Gou are worth' of all honor, 1lor', and praise+ Gou are 1racious and merciful, slow to an1er, and aboundin1 in lo4in1kindness+ - thank Gou for the liberatin1 power of Gour Spirit and Gour Dord+ present m'self to Gou, knowin1 that Gou ha4e so much more work to do in me to make me a lo4in1, patient, peaceful, kind, 1entle person+ (hank Gou for the freedom Gou ha4e alread' brou1ht me into in 0hrist+ -

welcome the continuin1 process of breakin1 stron1holds of an1er in m' life+ >onIt stop, )ord, no matter how much - complain or how often - run+ - need Gou desperatel'+ - thank Gou that Gou will ne4er lea4e me nor forsake me+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ -f 'ou are stru11lin1 with 1raspin1 'our new identit' as a child of =od, we recommend NeilIs books ,ictor' 84er the >arkness and =odIs 5ower at Dork in Gou+ (he' were written to help 'ou eCperience the truth of who 'ou alread' are in 0hrist and show how 'ou can conform to the ima1e of 0hrist+

C(A&TER 29 Bre *in$ S!ron$holds o/ An$er4 & r! T)o An1er be1ins with foll', and ends with repentance+ B.+=+ B8.N ;u1ene 5etersonIs contemporar' renderin1 of " 0orinthians 1!/#@ 1i4es a fresh 4iew of the warfare in4ol4ed in tearin1 down stron1holds+ .e writes, (he world is unprincipled+ -tIs do1@eat@do1 out thereF (he world doesnIt fi1ht fair+ But we donIt li4e or fi1ht our battles that wa'Bne4er ha4e and ne4er will+ (he tools of our trade arenIt for marketin1 or manipulation, but the' are for demolishin1 that entire massi4el' corrupt culture+ De use our powerful =od@tools for smashin1 warped philosophies, tearin1 down barriers erected a1ainst the truth of =od, fittin1 e4er' loose thou1ht and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped b' 0hrist+ 8ur tools are read' at hand for clearin1 the 1round of e4er' obstruction and buildin1 li4es of obedience into maturit' K(.; <;SSA=;L+ Dhen we look at how much we ha4e stru11led with an1er in our li4es, it is eas' to Eust focus on our weakness+ De ma' seriousl' consider Eust 1i4in1 up and 1i4in1 in to the rule of an1er+ After all, it is easier to dri4e in a rut than to tr' to mo4e the car out of it+ But =od wants us to be reminded of the di4inel' powerful weapons we ha4e at our disposal+ (here is

no sin that is stron1er than :esus, and there is no sin for which it is worth sacrificin1 a clear conscience, an intimate walk with =od, and a peaceful ni1htIs sleep+ A J#ic* Re,ie) Before mo4in1 on to the fourth principle of breakin1 stron1holds of an1er, letIs re4iew the 1round weI4e alread' co4ered+ 8nce a1ain, the followin1 statements constitute the biblical realities that need to be at work in an indi4idualIs life in order for him or her to break free from controllin1 an1er+ 1+ - know that - am now a child of =od and that m' old, an1r' self was crucified with 0hrist+ "+ - confess that - still ha4e a problem with fleshl' an1er, which is sin, and that b' m'self - am incapable of o4ercomin1 its control o4er me+ #+ - choose to belie4e that the presence and power of 0hrist within me is m' onl' hope for breakin1 free from an1erIs control+ Dhen it comes to facin1 the sin in our li4es, it is eas' to eCcuse oursel4es or rationaliJe our sin+ (herefore, if we are serious about 1ettin1 well, we need to make an appointment with the =reat 5h'sician, the onl' 6heart doctor,7 before whose e'es all thin1s are open and laid bare K.ebrews 2/1#L+ 2+ - place m'self on the .ol' SpiritIs eCamination table

so that .e can re4eal m' sinful, an1r' beha4ior, as well as the lies - ha4e belie4ed that keep me ensla4ed to fleshl' an1er+ >a4id pra'ed, 6Search me, 8 =od, and know m' heartH tr' me and know m' anCious thou1htsH and see if there be an' hurtful wa' in me, and lead me in the e4erlastin1 wa'7 K5salm 1#9/"#@"2L+ At first 1lance, askin1 =od for such a re4elation of our inner condition ma' seem fri1htenin1+ But there is no need to fear the truth, especiall' when that truth is re4ealed b' our lo4in1 =od+ -n placin1 oursel4es upon the .ol' SpiritIs eCamination table we are, in essence, 1i4in1 .im the ke's to e4er' 6room7 in the house of our li4es+ De are 1rantin1 .im permission to 1o e4er'where in our past and present, e4en if it means disco4erin1 the skeletons in our closets+ De are admittin1 that we donIt ha4e all the answers to our an1er problem, but that .e does+ .e alone can make the perfect dia1nosis and prescribe the perfect remed'+ A1ain, one eCcellent wa' to do this is b' takin1 unhurried time in the presence of =od to walk throu1h the 6Steps to *reedom in 0hrist+7 <an' people ha4e done this on their own, but it is e4en better to ha4e a trusted friend 1uide 'ou and pra' with 'ou throu1h them+ ?esearchers in different parts of the countr' are in the process of conductin1 studies to determine the lon1@

term effects of 1oin1 throu1h the Steps on the spiritual and emotional states of belie4ers+ (he' ha4e de4eloped sur4e' questions that enable them to quantif' indi4idual and 1roup le4els of an1er, and preliminar' reports are quite encoura1in1+ *or eCample, a 1roup from 8klahoma was sur4e'ed ri1ht before and four months after 1oin1 throu1h the Steps to *reedom+ (he stud' showed that durin1 that period of time, an1er had decreased b' more than one@third amon1 those sur4e'ed+ ?esults from a (eCas stud' showed that an1er had decreased b' more than one@half three months after the sur4e'ed 1roup had 1one throu1h the Steps+ (hose results are particularl' encoura1in1 since the 1roup had indicated that same decrease in an1er Eust a week after processin1 the Steps to *reedom+ (his means that some lastin1, lon1@term transformation had clearl' taken place+ (idden C #ses Re,e led -t is amaJin1 how the Spirit of =od often re4eals, throu1h tools like the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist, the hidden root causes of our problemsBroot causes we had totall' for1otten or not considered important before+ :eff asked for a personal appointment because he was confused about how to handle a situation on the Eob+ A co@worker was on his case continuall', and :eff didnIt

know what to do+ - su11ested that we pra' and ask the )ord to show him whether his problems were primaril' circumstantial or internal+ *i4e da's later, :eff came into m' office with some real answers to that pra'er+ -n the time since - had first seen him, he had become 4er' defensi4e with his co@ worker when she had KunEustl'L accused him of doin1 no work+ And he had 4ehementl' denied his wifeIs contention that he came home 1rump', e4en thou1h he didF 8rdinaril', :eff would ha4e chalked those incidents up as normal beha4ior on his part+ But the Spirit of =od opened his e'es and re4ealed that :eff feared the disappro4al of others+ .e was bound and determined to present an ima1e of himself that was so likeable and efficient that he could ne4er be criticiJed+ But all phobias are rooted in lies+ :eff belie4ed that he needed the appro4al of others in order to accept himself+ .e came to realiJe that his an1er was a defense mechanism desi1ned to protect this false ima1e whene4er it was threatened b' othersI words+ -n pra'er, :eff renounced the lie and chose to belie4e the truth that he was alread' lo4ed and accepted in 0hrist+ -t will take time for his mind to be full' renewed and his beha4ior transformed, but he would not e4en be on the ri1ht track were it not for his ea1erness to allow the Spirit of =od to re4eal his wron1 beha4ior and beliefs+

&+ - choose to for1i4e from m' heart each and e4er' person with whom - am an1r', includin1 m'self and =od, and - choose to open m' heart to 0hristIs healin1 touch+ (his step ma' be the most powerfull' liberatin1 for 'ou+ <akin1 the choice to for1i4e oursel4es and others from the heart is almost without eCception a maEor steppin1@stone toward eCperiencin1 freedom from an1erIs control+ (hat is wh' we de4oted two chapters in this book to for1i4eness+ ;ach of those chapters Kchapters $ and 9L has practical steps to take in order to for1i4e 'ourself and others, and to release an' an1er built up a1ainst =od+ -f 'ou ha4e not alread' pra'erfull' and thorou1hl' worked throu1h those chapters, we ur1e 'ou to do so at this time+ *or1i4in1 from 'our heart is the crucial third step in the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist+ 8nce 'ou for1i4e others from 'our heart, donIt be surprised if hours, da's, e4en weeks afterwards, other people come to mind that 'ou need to for1i4e+ 8r the )ord ma' brin1 up other incidents in4ol4in1 those 'ou ha4e alread' for1i4en+ >onIt be discoura1edBthe )ord is Eust helpin1 'ou reco4er one la'er at a time+ -f this happens, it in no wa' in4alidates the work that 'ou ha4e alread' accomplished+ -t simpl' means that the )ord is continuin1 to re4eal areas of bonda1e, la'er b' la'er+ .e knows what and how much we can handle at an' certain moment+

-f more issues in4ol4in1 for1i4eness do come up, 'ou know what to do+ Simpl' make the choice to for1i4e from the heart in accordance with the 1uidance offered in Step #+ >onIt become anCious about issues that remain unre4ealed+ Gou are responsible to deal onl' with what 'ou know+ Dait for the )ord+ Be patient with .is timin1+ .e desires 'our freedom e4en more than 'ou do, and .e 6is at work in 'ou, both to will and to work for .is 1ood pleasure7 K5hilippians "/1#L+ Sometimes, e4en after faithfull' followin1 the su11ested 1uidelines for for1i4in1 from the heart, 'ou ma' still feel an1er toward those who ha4e offended 'ou+ Gou ma' wonder if 'ou were sincere in 'our for1i4eness+ -f that occurs, ask =od to search 'our heart a1ain+ Sometimes there are thin1s that ha4e not been dealt with at all or ha4e been 4isited onl' superficiall'+ <an' times we b'pass the emotional core because the feelin1s seem too painful to face+ -f this is the case, then the )ord will 1uide 'ou throu1h the for1i4eness process a1ain+ .a4in1 another person pra' with 'ou throu1h this Step will also help ensure that 'ou are bein1 thorou1h and honest+ -t is also possible that 'our an1er ma' be Eustified and =od wants 'ou to take action to correct a wron1+ <an' times, howe4er, e4en after we ha4e for1i4en an offender, a deeper healin1 work needs to take place+ Gour emotions are dama1ed, and 'ou need the )ord :esusI healin1 touch in order for 'ou to be whole+ ha4e seen the )ord do a dramatic work of healin1 in m' life in response to a heart cr' for .is touch+ .e will

do the same for 'ou as well, once 'ou make the choice to for1i4e+ + - specificall' and thorou1hl' confess and repent of all attitudes and practices of fleshl' an1er, and renounce the lies that - ha4e belie4ed that ha4e fueled m' an1er+ :esus said that it is the truth that sets us free from our sla4er' to sin K:ohn $/#"L+ (hat bein1 true, it is clear that lies keep us in bonda1e to sin+ Dhether it is controllin1 an1er, ra1e, or an' other sin of the flesh, there is at least one Kand usuall' more than oneL lie that keeps us chained to that sinful beha4ior+ Below we ha4e listed some of the more common sinful attitudes and beha4iors that can be based in ra1e and an1er+ De also ha4e listed the more common lies that can result in fleshl' an1er and ra1e+ After those lists are pra'ers of confession and renunciation for 'ou to use+ Dhether 'ou use these pra'ers or 'our own, it is imperati4e that 'our repentance come from 'our heart+ 5salm "2/#@& makes this solemn warnin1 and encoura1in1 promise/ Dho ma' ascend into the hill of the )8?>M And who ma' stand in .is hol' placeM .e who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood and has not sworn deceitfull'+ .e shall recei4e a blessin1 from the )8?> and ri1hteousness from the =od of his sal4ation+

Before we 1o an' further, letIs 1o to the )ord in pra'er+ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - ask Gou to search me and know m' heart and thou1hts and show me if there is an' hurtful wa' in me+ ?e4eal to me an' and all sinful attitudes and actions that are related to m' an1er or ra1e+ - want to confess these attitudes and actions to Gou and turn from them so that Gou mi1ht lead me in Gour e4erlastin1 wa'+ 5lease eCpose the lies - ha4e belie4ed so that - ma' renounce them and walk in the truth+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ Sin/#l A!!i!#des nd Beh ,iors T Ar1uin1 and quarrelin1 T Screamin1 and 'ellin1 T (hreatenin1 T 0ontentiousness Kpickin1 fi1htsL T Bitter or Eealous heart T 0ritical and Eud1mental spirit T )e1alistic and reli1iousl' ri1id spirit T =ossip, slander, and backbitin1 T ?efusal to for1i4e T 0ausin1 factions and di4isions in the church T >efensi4e reactions to criticism T (hrowin1 obEects T *i1htin1 T =an1@related 4iolence T 0riminal beha4ior Kfor eCample, 4andalism, theft, rape, murderL T Abusin1 the innocent or weak Kpeople, animalsL

T Substance abuse Kfood, alcohol, dru1s, and so onL T ;atin1 disorders T SeCual promiscuit' T )'in1 and decei4in1 T 0ontrollin1 and manipulati4e beha4ior T 84era11ressi4e or rude dri4in1 T 84er@competiti4e spirit in work or pla' T 5assi4it' or refusal to accept responsibilit' T ?esistance or rebellion toward authorit' T Sulkin1 or silent treatment T Stubborn refusal to listen or 'ield T 0ontrollin1 fears T ?unnin1 awa' T Dithdrawal from famil', friends, church T Dithholdin1 seCual intimac' in marria1e T ,en1eful or malicious thou1hts, words, or deeds T Self@inEur' or self@mutilation T Satanism and witchcraft T Suicidal ur1es or actions &r yer o/ Con/ession nd Re%en! nce >ear hea4enl' *ather, - confess that - am an1r' and that this an1er has shown up in m' sinful attitudes and actions of Klist all that the .ol' Spirit re4eals to 'ouL+ thank Gou for Gour for1i4eness and cleansin1, and repent of all these sinful attitudes and actions, in :esusI name, amen+ -t is one thin1 to confess a sin+ -t is another to ha4e the power to walk in obedience to =odIs Dord+ 0hapter 1", 60onnectin1 to the 5ower,7 pro4ides the biblical

instruction 'ou need to walk b' the Spirit so that 'ou donIt ha4e to carr' out the desires of the flesh+ Gou ma' want to 1o back and reread that chapter once 'ou ha4e finished this process+ Co""on Lies Res#l!in$ in An$ry A!!i!#des nd Beh ,ior T No one lo4es me, not e4en =od+ T - canIt do an'thin1 ri1ht+ T - am a failure+ T - will ne4er amount to an'thin1+ T - ha4e no talents, 1ifts, or an'thin1 to offer+ T - donIt fit in+ T - am on m' own in this world+ T - ha4e to take care of m'self+ T =od will not defend me+ T =od has for1otten me+ T - cannot trust an'one+ T - cannot be free+ T (hereIs no hope for me+ T (he 0hristian life doesnIt work for me+ T - am dirt' Kor e4ilL+ T - am worthless+ T - must be perfect to be accepted+ T - must be perfect to accept m'self+ T - must ne4er show weakness or let others beat me+ T - must pro4e to others that - am competent Ka man, and so onL+ T - must control others to feel safe+ T - am alone+ T - must perform to a certain le4el in order to feel 1ood

about m'self+ &r yer /or Ren#nci !ion o/ Lies >ear hea4enl' *ather, - renounce the lie that Kname the lieL+ - refuse to allow it to ha4e an' hold o4er me an' more+ - cancel out an' and all 1round 1ained in m' life b' the enem' throu1h m' belie4in1 that lie, and - choose now to walk in the truth of =odIs Dord+ -n the name of :esus, the truth, - pra', amen+ -t is essential, once 'ou renounce lies that ha4e controlled 'ou, that 'ou replace those lies with the truth+ ?ehearsin1 the truth a1ain and a1ain until it is firml' entrenched in our minds will set us free+ De must let the peace of 0hrist rule in our hearts and we do that b' lettin1 the word of 0hrist richl' dwell within us K0olossians #/1&@1 L+ (he truths of who we are 6in 0hrist7 Ksee the end of chapter 2, 6<ental Stron1holds7L are well worth memoriJin1 and meditatin1 upon so that 'our mind will be renewed K?omans 1"/"L+ %+ - renounce usin1 the parts of m' bod' as instruments of an1r' unri1hteousness and - present m' entire bod' and its members to =od as instruments of ri1hteousness+ After two months of weekl' two@hour discipleship appointments with =ar', - ha4e almost worked m'self

out of a Eob+ .e has learned how to walk b' the Spirit, and has become more like the )ord :esus+ (he bi11est breakthrou1h came when he chose to surrender full' to 0hristIs lordship in his life and to be1in to draw upon the power of the Spirit to li4e+ 6All m' life - ha4e tried to rise up and be someone 1reat,7 =ar' si1hed as he sat across the table from me in his colle1eIs snack shop+ 6- would step on the field tr'in1 to pro4e to m' parents, tr'in1 to pro4e to m'self, that - was 1ood enou1hBand someone special+7 6<' 4iew of success has alwa's been 1ettin1 awards, ha4in1 people respect me, comin1 throu1h in the clutch, and respectin1 m'self+ =od didnIt run m' life,7 he continued, broken in spirit, 6- did+ ;4er'thin1 belie4e has been about me+ But what is important to =od is for me to 1i4e e4er'thin1 to .im+ -Im kind of afraid to do it, thou1h+7 But he did+ 8ne b' one =ar' listed off the parts of his bod' that had been used in pride, fear, an1er, and 4iolence+ .is brain, his mouth, his e'es, his ears, his hands, his feet, and so on+ .e confessed that he had misused those members of his bod' as instruments of unri1hteousness+ (he most si1nificant to =ar' were his hands+ (he' had alwa's s'mboliJed success or failure to him+ Dhether it was clutchin1 a baseball bat, throwin1 a ball, or tr'in1 to punch the li1hts out of an enem', his hands had been his power+

=ar' humbl' in4ited the )ord to use his hands and the rest of his bod' for .is 1ood purposes+ And then he 6climbed up on the altar7 and presented his bod' as a li4in1 and hol' sacrifice to =od K?omans 1"/1L+ ?omans /11@1# pro4ides the biblical basis for such a life chan1in1 decision/ 0onsider 'oursel4es to be dead to sin, but ali4e to =od in 0hrist :esus+ (herefore do not let sin rei1n in 'our mortal bod' so that 'ou obe' its lusts, and do not 1o on presentin1 the members of 'our bod' to sin as instruments of unri1hteousnessH but present 'oursel4es to =od as those ali4e from the dead, and 'our members as instruments of ri1hteousness to =od+ De in4ite 'ou now to make the same decision of surrender that =ar' did+ -nstead of obe'in1 sinIs lustful cries, which lead to sla4er', surrender to =odIs wa's Bwhich lead to freedomF Dhen 'ou make it in humble sincerit', this choice will be 'our 1atewa' to a new life of lo4e, Eo', peace, patience, and power+ &r yer o/ S#rrender >ear hea4enl' *ather, - confess that - ha4e used m' Kname the parts of 'our bod'L as instruments of unri1hteousness b' Ksa' specificall' what 'ou didL+ am sorr' for defilin1 the temple of the .ol' Spirit in that wa'+ - now choose to present m'self to Gou as a li4in1 and hol' sacrifice and m' Kname the parts of

'our bod'L to Gou as instruments of ri1hteousness, for Gour 1lor'+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+$ + - acti4el' stand firm a1ainst SatanIs attacks on m' mind and bod' b' puttin1 on the full armor of =od, and - confess and renounce all the sins of m' ancestors and other earthl' influences in m' life+ - choose to take e4er' thou1ht capti4e to the obedience of 0hrist+ Satan takes ad4anta1e of our bitterness and ma1nifies it into out@of@control ra1e and re4en1e+ (he de4il is a liar, a decei4er, and an accuser K:ohn $/22H ?e4elation 1"/9@1!L+ .e seeks to manipulate our emotions and beha4ior b' controllin1 our thinkin1 with distorted ideas about =od, oursel4es, and others+ But :esus came to destro' the de4ilIs works K1 :ohn #/$L, and so Satan was disarmed and defeated at the cross K0olossians "/1&L+ Since :esus 0hrist now has all authorit' in hea4en and on earth K<atthew "$/1$L, when we humbl' submit to =odIs rule in our li4es and resist the de4il, he will flee from us K:ames 2/%L+ ?esistance requires acti4e participation on our part+ De ha4e to put on the armor of =od, stand firm, and resist+ (he 9in1 :ames ,ersion renders the be1innin1 of ;phesians /1" as 6De wrestle not a1ainst flesh and blood+Q7 ?ather, we wrestle a1ainst demonic powers+ (o 6wrestle7 implies a stru11le requirin1 ener1', focus, and skill+

But this battle is neither wa1ed nor won on a ph'sical or fleshl' le4el, 6for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but di4inel' powerful for the destruction of fortresses7 K" 0orinthians 1!/#L+ =od has mercifull' 1i4en us .is armor of truth, ri1hteousness, peace, sal4ation, faith, and the Dord of =od so that we can wa1e a 4ictorious battle in pra'er a1ainst the enem'Is schemes Ksee ;phesians /1!@"!L+ But we must make the choice to put on and take up these weapons+ *or a complete 4iew of the enem'Is tactics and the belie4erIs protection in 0hrist, we stron1l' ur1e 'ou to read m' KNeilIsL book (he Bonda1e Breaker+ -n short, howe4er, the primar' wa's in which Satan 1ains access to a belie4erIs life are throu1hB T in4ol4ement in the occult and other counterfeit reli1ions and practices T our passi4el' allowin1 lies and worldl' philosophies to dominate our belief s'stem T abuse, molestation, ne1lect, and hurt from the past, and our subsequent belie4in1 of lies and harborin1 of an1er and bitterness T rebellion T pride T in4ol4ement in sins of the flesh, especiall' seCual sins

T passi4e acceptance of the sins of our ancestors T *in$ U% God-s Me ns o/ &ro!ec!ion -f 'ou had heard that a serial killer was loose in 'our nei1hborhood, 'ou would not take a casual approach to protectin1 'ourselfF Gou would make sure e4er' door and window were completel' closed and locked+ Gou would make sure 'our securit' s'stem was on full alert+ Gou would probabl' ha4e 'our cell phone hand'+ Satan is an eCploiter+ Gou 1i4e him an inch, heIll take a mile+ (herefore, we ur1e 'ou a1ain, if 'ou ha4e not alread' carefull' and pra'erfull' walked throu1h the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist, to do so+ B' submittin1 to =od in confession and repentance, 'ou will be takin1 back an' 1round that Satan ma' claim as his own in 'our life+ Gou are in essence closin1 and lockin1 the doors and windows+ B' resistin1 the de4il in 'our authorit' in 0hrist, 'ou are turnin1 on the li1hts and 1rabbin1 'our weapons and dri4in1 an' spiritual intruders off 'our propert'+ Gou can be assured that a hea4enl' securit' 1uard will be dispatched to set a watch o4er 'our house+ 8nce the spiritual stron1holds of an1er and ra1e ha4e been broken, it is critical that 'ou learn to take e4er' thou1ht capti4e in obedience to 0hrist+ A lar1e part of that process is 1uardin1 what comes into 'our heart and mind+ (he media can ha4e a hu1e impact on our thou1ht li4es throu1h books, ma1aJines, (, shows,

mo4ies, 4ideo and computer 1ames, and -nternet sites+ 5aul ad4ises us in 5hilippians 2/$, 6Brethren, whate4er is true, whate4er is honorable, whate4er is ri1ht, whate4er is pure, whate4er is lo4el', whate4er is of 1ood repute, if there is an' eCcellence and if an'thin1 worth' of praise, dwell on these thin1s+7 After surrenderin1 full' to :esus as his )ord, =ar' was con4icted o4er some of the (, shows and books he had formerl' tolerated or e4en enEo'ed+ .e had to walk out on one show his buddies were watchin1 because it bothered him so much+ .is an1er is now bein1 replaced b' a 1rowin1 peace and Eo' as he has immersed himself in the Bible, a de4otional book, and 0+S+ )ewisIs 0hronicles of Narnia+ 9+ - humble m'self b' seekin1 reconciliation with and makin1 restitution to those whom - ha4e wounded in m' an1er, whene4er it is possible and wise to do so+ 0hoosin1 the path of humilit' will 1o a1ainst 'our fleshl' feelin1s, but it is one of the more si1nificant steps to freedom when orchestrated b' the .ol' Spirit+ =od 1i4es 1race to the humble+ ?elationships that we ha4e dama1ed or destro'ed throu1h our sinful an1er can often be repaired and restored+ Ultimatel', this is =odIs work+ 8ur responsibilit', howe4er, is to be obedient to the )ord and to seek reconciliation and healin1+ ?omans 1"/1$ sa's, 6-f possible, so far as it depends on 'ou, be at peace with all men+7 ?econciliation is not

alwa's dependent upon us+ Another person can refuse to be reconciled to 'ou e4en after 'ou ha4e pra'ed, humbl' admitted 'our wron1doin1, and reached out in lo4e+ (he restoration we desire to happen immediatel' ma' take time, or it ma' ne4er happen+ Dhen =od prompts 'ou to 61o and do 'our part,7 'ou must 1o re1ardless of the outcome+ <atthew &/"#@"2 pro4ides biblical 1uidelines for seekin1 reconciliation with another person/ -f 'ou are presentin1 'our offerin1 at the altar, and there remember that 'our brother has somethin1 a1ainst 'ou, lea4e 'our offerin1 there before the altar and 1oH first be reconciled to 'our brother, and then come and present 'our offerin1+ G#idelines /or Res!i!#!ion (his is serious business with =od+ -f we ha4e hurt another person with our an1er or ra1e, we need to 1o to that person and make restitution+ -f distance is a problem, a phone call is the neCt best thin1+ De donIt recommend writin1 a letter or usin1 e@mail because such communication can easil' be misread, misunderstood, passed on to the wron1 people, and e4en used a1ainst 'ou le1all'+ -f 'our safet' or well@bein1 would be EeopardiJed b' 1oin1 to the other person alone, then take someone with 'ou Kif that would pro4ide sufficient protectionL, or make a phone call from a safe location+ 5ri4ate an1r'

thou1hts 'ouI4e had toward another person Kthat ha4enIt resulted in actionL should be dealt with pri4atel' before the )ord+ (he other part' has no awareness of those thou1hts and doesnIt need to ha4e it+ -n fact, brin1in1 them up will cause more problems than it will sol4e+ (he onl' eCception is in the case where 'ou ha4e stolen or dama1ed merchandise or propert' and the owner is unaware of what 'ou did+ -n that case, 'ou need to 1o to the person, humbl' confess 'our wron1doin1, and ask him or her how to make it ri1ht+ Be willin1 to suffer the consequences of 'our wron1doin1+ (hat ma' be part of =odIs breakin1 and healin1 of 'ou+ *irst pra' and ask =od for the ri1ht words, ri1ht attitude, and ri1ht timin1+ <ake sure 'ou ha4e alread' for1i4en the other part', if he or she offended 'ou+ Dhen confessin1 'our misdeeds, label 'our action as wron1+ Be specific and admit what 'ou did+ <ake no defenses or eCcuses+ >onIt blame the other person or demand an apolo1'+ (hat is between him or her and =od+ Ask specificall', 6Dill 'ou for1i4e meM7 then wait for the answer+ (rust =od for the outcome, no matter what it is+ 8ne time - K?ichL was in a pra'er meetin1, and inappropriatel' pra'ed in an1er about a former pastor of mine+ .e happened to walk into the room about that time, and - happened to peek+ - knew - had done somethin1 wron1+ (he neCt mornin1 - was tr'in1 to

spend time with the )ord, but - wasnIt connectin1+ .e turned m' attention to <atthew &/"#@"2 and - knew immediatel' wh' .e was displeased+ - knew that needed to call the pastor and each of the men in that 1roup and ask for1i4eness for m' sin+ B' the 1race of =od the' were all home and all 1raciousl' for1a4e me+ After -Id spent about "! minutes pullin1 m' foot out of m' mouth, the )ord was ea1er to recei4e m' worship a1ain+ Loo* For) rd in (o%e (hese nine steps are not laws to be sla4ishl' followed+ (he' merel' pro4ide a framework throu1h which the Spirit of libert' can break down stron1holds of an1er and set 'ou free+ Nor are the' a shortcut to maturit'+ -t will take us the rest of our li4es to be transformed b' the renewin1 of our minds and to be conformed to the ima1e of =od+ .owe4er, freedom is a 1ate that needs to be walked throu1h in order for 1rowth to occur+ *reedom will be maintained and 1rowth 1ained as 'ou continue to culti4ate an intimate, personal relationship with the li4in1 =od throu1h consistent worship, pra'er, and Bible stud'+ Gou also need to intentionall' pursue open, honest fellowship with other belie4ers in 0hrist who will pra' for 'ou and 'our stru11les with an1er+ =i4e them permission to lo4in1l' hold 'ou accountable for 'our attitudes and actions+ 0onsider 1i4in1 them permission to contact 'our spouse and emplo'er

periodicall' to find out how 'ou are doin1 in controllin1 'our temper+ -tIs true that, 1enerall', we donIt do what people eCpect, but what the' inspectF *inall', immerse 'ourself dail' in the liberatin1 truths of 'our new identit' in 0hrist as an accepted, secure, si1nificant child of =od+ As part of the bride of 0hrist, 'ou are a lo4e 1ift from the *ather to the Son Ksee :ohn 1%/", ,9,"2L+ :esus has 1i4en 'ou the same 1lor' that the *ather 1a4e .im Ksee 4erse ""L+ And the *ather lo4es 'ou Eust as much as .e lo4es the )ord :esus 0hrist Ksee 4erse "#L+ De hope, and we pra', that this final personal stor' will 1i4e 'ou hope in 'our dail' battle of o4ercomin1 an1er+ - used to be what we term 6short@tempered+7 - would not 1i4e an'one the time of da' and would an1ril' burst out at them for askin1 a simple question+ 5eople were e4entuall' afraid to approach me, and - thou1ht was 4ictorious+ - called m'self a 0hristian durin1 this entire ordeal+ - would read m' Bible and pra' and 6counsel7 others+ 8ne of m' special pra'er requests was to be more like 0hrist+ )ittle did - know what - was askin1 for+ Because would not listen to others, =od found a wa' of dealin1 with me directl'+ - Eoined a Bible stud' some four 'ears a1o and that is when - was brou1ht to m' knees+ Slowl' but surel' =od worked throu1h m' life in all areas+ - would disco4er disturbin1 thin1s about m' life

and - would feel that there was no wa' that - was trul' called b' =od+ But e4er' da', and e4er' week in the Bible stud', - would disco4er how much =od lo4ed me, no matter what was inside me+ (hat lo4e brou1ht me to the point where - asked .im to chan1e me completel', and - offered m'self as a li4in1 sacrifice to .im+ And e4en if - squirmed off the altar, - asked that =od be patient with me while - 1ot back on a1ain+ (oda' - am not perfect, but m' an1er is in check+ .alleluEahF 5raise .is name, - am able to count to 1!!, and not become an1r'+ Sometimes when - feel cannot control m'self, - eCcuse m'self and 1o to the restroom and pra', and ask =od to remo4e the an1er from me and fill me with .is lo4e and peace that surpasses all human understandin1+ And it worksF e4en surprise m'self, e4en thou1h - know - ser4e a mi1ht' =od+ .is wonders still catch me b' surprise+ am sure e4er'one around me is Eust waitin1 for me to blow up like before, as thou1h the' are standin1 on a land mine and the sli1htest mo4e will make it eCplode+ But little do the' know that - ser4e a trul' wonderful )i4in1 =odF 84ercomin1 an1er is a lifelon1 process+ (here will alwa's be new people and circumstances that will test us and push our buttons+ 5ressures and stresses will come, but :esus has alread' o4ercome the world, the flesh, and the de4il+ 6(he *ather is with me+ -I4e told 'ou this so that trustin1 me, 'ou will be unshakable and assured, deepl' at peace+ -n this 1odless world 'ou will continue to eCperience difficulties+ But take

heartF -I4e conquered the world7 K:ohn 1 /#"@## (.; <;SSA=;L+ Le!-s close in %r yer !o$e!her. >ear hea4enl' *ather, the stubbornness of m' own flesh, the corruption of this world, and the wiles of the de4il are all arra'ed a1ainst me in this battle to o4ercome an1er+ But - praise Gou, )ord :esus, that Gou are the ,ictor o4er them allF Gou sa' that 6those who belon1 to 0hrist :esus ha4e crucified the flesh with its passions and desires7 and that throu1h the cross 6the world has been crucified to me, and - to the world7F - belie4e that :esus has 6disarmed the rulers and authorities7 and has 6made a public displa' of them, ha4in1 triumphed o4er them+71 :esus, - choose to abide in Gou, to clin1 to Gou as m' lifeline+ Gou are m' life and m' stren1th, and Gour 1race is sufficient for me+ <a' - 1lorif' Gou in m' bod', as - seek to be conformed to Gour ima1e+ - thank Gou for the da' when this perishable bod' will put on imperishable 1lor' and the 4ictor' o4er sin will be complete+ -n Gour name - pra', amen+

S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! 6-t was for freedom that 0hrist set us freeH therefore keep standin1 firm and do not be subEect a1ain to a 'oke of sla4er'7 K=alatians &/1L+ -f 'ou ha4e recei4ed 0hrist as 'our Sa4ior, .e has alread' set 'ou free throu1h .is 4ictor' o4er sin and death on the cross+ (he question is, are 'ou li4in1 4ictoriousl' in 0hristIs freedom, or are 'ou li4in1 in bonda1e, howe4er hidden or subtleM 0hrist offers 'ou freedom from personal and spiritual conflictsQfreedom from sin and the ne1ati4e pro1rammin1 of 'our pastQfreedom from the dama1in1 effects of 1uilt and unfor1i4eness+ *reedom opens the pathwa' to knowin1, lo4in1, worshippin1, and obe'in1 =od+ -t is the Eo'ful eCperience of li4in1 b' faith accordin1 to what =od sa's is true and in the power of the .ol' Spirit, and not carr'in1 out the desires of the flesh+ *reedom doesnIt mean perfection, but it does mean a 1rowin1 and abundant life in 0hrist, who alone can meet our deepest needs for life, identit', acceptance, securit', and si1nificance+ Re$ inin$ +o#r Freedo" -f 'ou are not eCperiencin1 this life of freedom, it ma' be because 'ou ha4e not stood firm in the faith or li4ed accordin1 to who 'ou are in 0hrist+ Somehow 'ou ha4e returned a1ain to a 'oke of sla4er' K=alatians &/1L+ Gour eternal destin' is not at stake,

but 'our dail' 4ictor' is+ No matter how difficult 'our life mi1ht be, there is 1reat news for 'ou+ Gou are not a helpless 4ictim cau1ht between two nearl' equal but opposite spiritual superpowers+ Satan is a liar and a decei4er, and the onl' wa' he can ha4e power o4er 'ou is if 'ou belie4e his lies+ 8nl' =od is omnipotent Kall@powerfulL, omnipresent Kalwa's presentL, and omniscient Kall@ knowin1L+ Sometimes the realit' of sin and the presence of e4il ma' seem more real than the presence of =od, but thatIs part of SatanIs deception+ Satan is a defeated foeBand we are ali4e in 0hrist+ (he Steps to *reedom in 0hrist do not set 'ou free+1 Dho sets 'ou free is 0hristH what sets 'ou free is 'our response to .im in repentance and faith+ (he Steps pro4ide an opportunit' for 'ou to ha4e an encounter with =od, the Donderful 0ounselor, b' submittin1 to .im and resistin1 the de4il K:ames 2/%L+ (he' are a means of resol4in1 personal and spiritual conflicts that ha4e kept 'ou from eCperiencin1 the freedom and 4ictor' 0hrist purchased for 'ou on the cross+ Gour freedom will be the result of what 'ou choose to belie4e, confess, for1i4e, renounce, and forsake+ No one else can do that for 'ou+ The B !!le /or +o#r Mind (here is a battle 1oin1 on for 'our mind, which is the control center of all that we think and do+ (he opposin1 thou1hts 'ou ma' eCperience as 'ou 1o

throu1h these steps can affect 'ou onl' if 'ou belie4e them+ Gou ma' ha4e na11in1 thou1hts like 6(his isnIt 1oin1 to work7 or 6=od doesnIt lo4e me+7 >onIt belie4e SatanIs deceptionsH donIt pa' an' attention to accusin1 or threatenin1 thou1hts+ (he battle for 'our mind can onl' be won as 'ou personall' choose truth+ As 'ou 1o throu1h the process, remember that Satan is under no obli1ation to obe' 'our thou1hts+ 8nl' =od has complete knowled1e of 'our mind, because .e alone is omniscient Kall@knowin1L+ *ind a pri4ate place where 'ou can 4erball' process each Step+ Gou can submit to =od inwardl', but 'ou need to resist the de4il b' readin1 each pra'er aloud and b' 4erball' renouncin1, for1i4in1, confessin1, and so on+ (hese steps address critical issues between 'ou and =od+ Gou probabl' will find it possible to 1o throu1h them on 'our own because :esus is 'our Donderful 0ounselor+ .owe4er, some people do feel the' need additional help+ -f 'ou eCperience difficult', ask 'our pastor or a counselor or someone familiar with the Steps to help 'ou+ Both 1ainin1 and maintainin1 'our freedom will be 1reatl' enhanced if 'ou first read ,ictor' 84er the >arkness and (he Bonda1e Breaker+ (he' will help 'ou further understand the realit' of the spiritual world and 'our relationship to it+ Dhile these steps can pla' a maEor role in 'our continuin1 process of discipleship, there is no such thin1 as instant maturit'+ Bein1

renewed in 'our mind and conformed to the ima1e of =od is a lifelon1 process+ ?e1ardless of the source of an' difficult' 'ou ma' ha4e, 'ou ha4e nothin1 to lose and e4er'thin1 to 1ain b' pra'in1 throu1h the issues+ -f 'our problems stem from a source other than those co4ered in the Steps, 'ou ma' need to seek professional help+ (he real focus here is 'our relationship with =od+ (he lack of resolution of an' one of these issues will affect 'our intimac' with .im and 'our dail' 4ictor' in 0hrist+ Tr#s! God !o Le d +o# ;ach Step is eCplained so 'ou will ha4e no problem knowin1 what to do+ -t doesnIt make an' difference whether or not there are e4il spirits presentH =od is alwa's present+ -f 'ou eCperience an' resistance, stop and pra'+ -f 'ou eCperience some mental opposition, Eust i1nore it+ -t is Eust a thou1ht, and it can ha4e no power o4er 'ou unless 'ou belie4e it+ (hrou1hout the process, 'ou will be askin1 =od to lead 'ou+ .e is the 8ne who 1rants repentance leadin1 to a knowled1e of the truth that sets 'ou free K" (imoth' "/"2@" L+ Start the Steps with the followin1 pra'er and declaration+ K-t is not necessar' to read the words in the parentheses, which are there for clarification or reference+L <a' the )ord 1race 'ou with .is presence as 'ou seek to do .is will+ (hen, ha4in1 found 'our freedom in 0hrist, 'ou can help others eCperience the Eo' of their sal4ation+

&r yer >ear hea4enl' *ather, - acknowled1e Gour presence in this room and in m' life+ Gou are the onl' omniscient Kall@knowin1L, omnipotent Kall@powerfulL, and omnipresent Kalwa's presentL =od+ - am dependent upon Gou, for apart from Gou - can do nothin1+ - stand in the truth that all authorit' in hea4en and on earth has been 1i4en to the resurrected 0hrist, and because - am in 0hrist, - share that authorit' in order to make disciples and set capti4es free+ - ask Gou to fill me with Gour .ol' Spirit and lead me into all truth+ - pra' for Gour complete protection and ask for Gour 1uidance+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ Decl r !ion -n the name and authorit' of the )ord :esus 0hrist, command Satan and all e4il spirits to release me in order that - can be free to know and to choose to do the will of =od+ As a child of =od who is seated with 0hrist in the hea4enlies, - command e4er' e4il spirit to lea4e m' presence+ - belon1 to =od, and the e4il one cannot touch me+ S!e% 2' Co#n!er/ei! ,s. Re l (he first step toward eCperiencin1 'our freedom in 0hrist is to renounce K4erball' reEectL all past or present in4ol4ement with occult practices, cult

teachin1s, and rituals, as well as non@0hristian reli1ions+ Gou must renounce an' acti4it' or 1roup that denies :esus 0hrist or offers 1uidance throu1h an' source other than the absolute authorit' of the Bible+ An' 1roup that requires dark, secret initiations, ceremonies, promises, or pacts should also be renounced+ Be1in this step b' pra'in1 aloud,

>ear hea4enl' *ather, - ask Gou to brin1 to m' mind an'thin1 and e4er'thin1 that - ha4e done knowin1l' or unknowin1l' that in4ol4es occult, cult, or non@0hristian teachin1s or practices+ - want to eCperience Gour freedom b' renouncin1 all counterfeit teachin1s and practices+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ ;4en if 'ou took part in somethin1 and thou1ht it was Eust a 1ame or a Eoke, 'ou need to renounce it+ Satan will tr' to take ad4anta1e of an'thin1 he can in our li4es, so it is alwa's wise to be as thorou1h as possible+ ;4en if 'ou were Eust standin1 b' and watchin1 others do it, 'ou need to renounce 'our passi4e in4ol4ement+ Gou ma' not ha4e e4en realiJed at the time that what was 1oin1 on was e4il+ Still, 1o ahead and renounce it+ -f somethin1 comes to 'our mind and 'ou are not sure what to do about it, trust that the Spirit of =od is

answerin1 'our pra'er, and renounce it+ (he followin1 6Non@0hristian Spiritual 0hecklist7 co4ers man' of the more common occult, cult, and non@0hristian reli1ious 1roups and practices+ -t is not a complete list, howe4er+ *eel free to add others that 'ou were personall' in4ol4ed with+ After the checklist, there are some additional questions desi1ned to help 'ou become aware of other thin1s 'ou ma' need to renounce+ Below those questions is a short pra'er of confession and renunciation+ 5ra' it aloud, fillin1 in the blanks with the 1roups, teachin1s, or practices that the .ol' Spirit has prompted 'ou to renounce durin1 this time of personal e4aluation+ NonIChris!i n S%iri!# l Chec*lis! K0heck all those that 'ou ha4e participated inL 8ut@of@bod' eCperience Kastral proEectionL 8uiEa board Blood' <ar' )i1ht as a *eather Kor other occult 1amesL (able@liftin1 <a1ic ;i1ht Ball Spells or curses <ental telepath' or mental control of others Automatic writin1

(rances Spirit 1uides *ortune tellin1 or di4ination Kfor eCample, tea lea4esL (arot cards )e4itation <a1icB(he =atherin1 Ditchcraft or sorcer' Satanism 5alm@readin1 Astrolo1' or horoscopes .'pnosis Seances Black or white ma1ic *antas' 1ames with occult ima1es Blood pacts or cuttin1 'ourself on purpose 8bEects of worship, cr'stals, or 1ood@luck charms SeCual spirits <artial arts Km'sticism or de4otion to senseiL Superstitions <ormonism K)atter@>a' SaintsL :eho4ahIs Ditness KDatchtowerL New A1e Kbooks, obEects, seminars, medicineL <asons 0hristian Science <ind Science cults (he Da' -nternational Unification 0hurch K<ooniesL (he *orum KestL 0hurch of the )i4in1 Dord 0hildren of =od K0hildren of )o4eL

0hurch of Scientolo1' Unitarian Uni4ersalism Sil4a <ind 0ontrol (ranscendental meditation K(<L Go1a .are 9rishna Bahaism Nati4e American spirit worship -slam .induism Buddhism Kincludin1 3enL Black <uslim beliefs ?osicrucianism 8ther non@0hristian reli1ions or cults 8ccult or 4iolent 4ideo, computer, and online 1ames

<o4ies, (, shows, music, books, ma1aJines, or comics that the )ord is brin1in1 to 'our mind Kespeciall' those that 1lorified Satan, caused fear or ni1htmares, were 1ruesomel' 4iolent, or stimulated the fleshL+ )ist them below/ Below are some additional questions desi1ned to help 'ou become aware of other thin1s 'ou ma' need to renounce+ 1+ .a4e 'ou e4er seen, heard, or felt a spiritual bein1 in 'our roomM "+ >o 'ou ha4e recurrin1 ni1htmaresM Specificall'

renounce an' accompan'in1 fear+ #+ >o 'ou now ha4e, or ha4e 'ou e4er had, an ima1inar' friend, spirit 1uide, or 6an1el7 offerin1 'ou 1uidance or companionshipM K-f it has a name, renounce it b' name+L 2+ .a4e 'ou e4er heard 4oices in 'our head or had repeatin1, na11in1 thou1hts such as 6-Im dumb,7 6-Im u1l',7 6Nobod' lo4es me,7 6- canIt do an'thin1 ri1ht7B as if there were a con4ersation 1oin1 on inside 'our headM K)ist an' specific na11in1 thou1hts+L &+ .a4e 'ou e4er consulted a medium, spiritist, or channelerM + .a4e 'ou e4er seen or been contacted b' bein1s 'ou thou1ht were aliensM %+ .a4e 'ou e4er made a secret 4ow or pact Kor inner 4ow, for eCample, 6- will ne4erQ7LM $+ .a4e 'ou e4er been in4ol4ed in a satanic ritual of an' kind or attended a concert in which Satan was the focusM 9+ Dhat other spiritual eCperiences ha4e 'ou had that were e4il, confusin1, or fri1htenin1M 8nce 'ou ha4e completed 'our checklist and the

questions, confess and renounce each item 'ou were in4ol4ed in b' pra'in1 the followin1 pra'er aloud/ )ord, - confess that - ha4e participated in ZZZZZZZ, and - renounce ZZZZZZZZ+ (hank Gou that in 0hrist am for1i4en+ Dhen 'ou ha4e finished confessin1 and renouncin1 each item, pra' the followin1 pra'er/ )ord, - confess that - ha4e participated in these wron1ful practices+ - know the' were e4il and offensi4e in Gour si1ht+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness+ renounce an' and all in4ol4ement in these wron1ful practices, and - choose to belie4e that Satan no lon1er has an' ri1htful place in m' life because of those in4ol4ements+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ E, l# !e +o#r &riori!ies 8ur priorities re4eal what is important to us+ And a priorit' doesnIt necessaril' ha4e to be e4il in nature in become a false 1od or idol+ ;4aluatin1 'our priorities can help 'ou reco1niJe where 'our true alle1iance is and, if necessar', restore =odIs ri1htful place in 'our life+ KSee appendiC A+L S ! nic Ri!# ls or (e ,y Occ#l! Ac!i,i!y (here are special renunciations for an'one who either

has or suspects that he or she ma' ha4e had a deeper eCposure to Satanism+ (he' pro4ide an opportunit' for 'ou to 4erball' renounce an' in4ol4ement K4oluntar' or in4oluntar'L in the 6>omain of >arkness7 and then affirm 'our position in the 69in1dom of )i1ht+7 -f 'ou ha4e eCperienced hea4' in4ol4ement in the occult, or think 'ou ma' ha4e been eCposed to it, it is important to ha4e an eCperienced friend, pastor, or counselor 1uide 'ou throu1h these special renunciations+ KSee appendiC B+L S!e% 5' Dece%!ion ,s. Tr#!h =odIs Dord is true, and we need to accept .is truth in the innermost part of our bein1 K5salm &1/ L+ Dhether or not we feel it is true, we need to belie4e it is trueF :esus is the truth, the .ol' Spirit is the Spirit of truth, and the Dord of =od is truthH and we are admonished to speak the truth in lo4e Ksee :ohn 12/ H 1 /1#H 1%/1%H ;phesians 2/1&L+ (he belie4er in 0hrist has no business decei4in1 others b' l'in1, tellin1 6white7 lies, eCa11eratin1, stretchin1 the truth, or an'thin1 relatin1 to falsehoods+ Satan is the father of lies, and he seeks to keep people in bonda1e throu1h deception+ -t is the truth in :esus that sets us free Ksee :ohn $/#"@# ,22H " (imoth' "/" H ?e4elation 1"/9+L De will find real Eo' and freedom when we stop li4in1 a lie and li4e openl' in the truth+ After confessin1 his sin, 9in1 >a4id wrote, 6.ow blessed Ohapp'P is the manQin whose spirit

there is no deceitF7 K5salm #"/"L+ De ha4e been called to walk in the li1ht K1 :ohn 1/%L+ Dhen we are sure =od lo4es and accepts us, we can be free to own up to our sins and face realit' instead of runnin1 and hidin1 from the truth and painful circumstances+ Start this Step b' pra'in1 the followin1 pra'er aloud+ >onIt let an' threatenin1, opposin1 thou1hts, such as 6(his is a waste of time7 or 6- wish - could belie4e this but - Eust canIt,7 keep 'ou from pra'in1 and choosin1 the truth+ ;4en if this is difficult for 'ou, keep workin1 'our wa' throu1h+ =od will stren1then 'ou as 'ou rel' on .im+ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - know that Gou want me to know the truth, belie4e the truth, speak the truth, and li4e in accordance with the truth+ (hank Gou that it is the truth that will set me free+ -n man' wa's - ha4e been decei4ed b' Satan, the father of lies, and - ha4e decei4ed m'self as well+ *ather, - pra' in the name of the )ord :esus 0hrist, b' 4irtue of .is shed blood and resurrection, askin1 Gou to rebuke all e4il spirits that are decei4in1 me+ - ha4e trusted in :esus alone to sa4e me, and so - am Gour for1i4en child+ (herefore, since Gou accept me Eust as - am in 0hrist, - can be free to face m' sin and not tr' to hide+ - ask for the .ol' Spirit to 1uide me into

all truth+ - ask Gou to 6search me, 8 =od, and know m' heartH tr' me and know m' anCious thou1htsH and see if there be an' hurtful wa' in me, and lead me in the e4erlastin1 wa'+7 -n the name of :esus, who is the truth, - pra', amen+ KSee 5salm 1#9/"#@"2+L (here are man' wa's in which Satan, 6the 1od of this world,7 seeks to decei4e us+ :ust as he did with ;4e, the de4il tries to con4ince us to rel' on oursel4es and to tr' to 1et our needs met throu1h the world around us, rather than trustin1 in the pro4ision of our *ather in hea4en+ (he followin1 eCercise will help 'ou disco4er wa's 'ou ma' ha4e been decei4ed+ 0heck each area of deception that the )ord brin1s to 'our mind and confess it, usin1 the pra'er followin1 the list+ W ys +o# C n Be Decei,ed 1y !he World Belie4in1 that acquirin1 mone' and thin1s will brin1 lastin1 happiness K<atthew 1#/""H 1 (imoth' /1!L Belie4in1 that eCcessi4e food and alcohol can relie4e m' stress and make me happ' K5ro4erbs "!/1H "#/19@ "1L Belie4in1 that an attracti4e bod' and personalit' will 1et me what - want K5ro4erbs #1/1!H 1 5eter #/#@2L

Belie4in1 that 1ratif'in1 seCual lust will brin1 lastin1 satisfaction K;phesians 2/""H 1 5eter "/11L Belie4in1 that - can sin and 1et awa' with it without an' ne1ati4e consequences K.ebrews #/1"@1#L Belie4in1 that - need more than what =od has 1i4en me in 0hrist K" 0orinthians 11/"@2,1#@1&L Belie4in1 that - can do whate4er - want and no one can touch me K5ro4erbs 1 /1$H 8badiah #H 1 5eter &/&L Belie4in1 that unri1hteous people who refuse to accept 0hrist 1o to hea4en an'wa' K1 0orinthians /9@ 11L Belie4in1 that - can associate with bad compan' and not become corrupted K1 0orinthians 1&/##@#2L Belie4in1 that - can read, see, or listen to an'thin1 and not be corrupted K5ro4erbs 2/"#@"%H /"%@"$H <atthew &/"$L Belie4in1 that there are no consequences on earth for m' sin K=alatians /%@$L Belie4in1 that - must 1ain the appro4al of certain people in order to be happ' K=alatians 1/1!L Belie4in1 that - must measure up to certain standards in order to feel 1ood about m'self K=alatians #/"@#H

&/1L )ord, - confess that - ha4e been decei4ed b' ZZZZZZZZ+ - thank Gou for Gour for1i4eness, and commit m'self to belie4in1 onl' Gour truth+ -n :esusI name, amen+ -t is important to know that in addition to bein1 decei4ed b' the world, false teachers, and decei4in1 spirits, we can also decei4e oursel4es+ Now that 'ou are ali4e in 0hrist, completel' for1i4en and totall' accepted, 'ou donIt need to defend 'ourself the wa' 'ou used to+ 0hrist is now 'our defense+ 0onfess the wa's the )ord shows 'ou that 'ou ha4e decei4ed 'ourself or defended 'ourself wron1l' b' usin1 the followin1 lists and pra'ers of confession/ W ys !o Decei,e +o#rsel/ .earin1 =odIs Dord but not doin1 what it sa's K:ames 1/""L Sa'in1 - ha4e no sin K1 :ohn 1/$L (hinkin1 - am somethin1 -Im reall' not K=alatians /#L (hinkin1 - am wise in this worldl' a1e K1 0orinthians #/1$@19L (hinkin1 - can be trul' reli1ious but not bridle m'

ton1ue K:ames 1/" L )ord, - confess that - ha4e decei4ed m'self b' ZZZZZZZ+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness+ - commit m'self to belie4in1 onl' Gour truth+ -n :esusI name, amen+ W ys !o Wron$ly De/end +o#rsel/ >enial of realit' Kconscious or unconsciousL *antas' Kescapin1 realit' b' da'dreamin1, (,, mo4ies, music, computer or 4ideo 1ames, dru1s, alcohol, and so onL ;motional insulation Kwithdrawin1 from people or keepin1 people at a distance to a4oid reEectionL ?e1ression Kre4ertin1 to less threatenin1 timesL >isplaced an1er Ktakin1 out frustrations on innocent peopleL 5roEection Kblamin1 others for m' problemsL ?ationaliJation Kmakin1 eCcuses for m' own poor beha4iorL )'in1 Kpresentin1 a false ima1eL

)ord, - confess that - ha4e defended m'self wron1l' b' ZZZZZZZZZZZZ+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness+ - now commit m'self to trustin1 in Gou to defend and protect me+ -n :esusI name, amen+ 0hoosin1 the truth ma' be hard for 'ou if 'ou ha4e been belie4in1 lies for man' 'ears+ Gou ma' need some on1oin1 counselin1 to help weed out an' defense mechanisms 'ou ha4e relied on to cope with life+ ;4er' 0hristian needs to learn that 0hrist is the onl' defense he or she needs+ ?ealiJin1 that 'ou are alread' for1i4en and accepted b' =od throu1h 0hrist will help free 'ou up to place all 'our dependence on .im+ Tr#!h A1o#! +o#r F !her God A maEor deception of the enem' is to cause us to equate our feelin1s about our *ather =od with the wa' our parents or other authorit' fi1ures in our li4es ma' ha4e failed or mistreated us+ -f 'ou harbor ne1ati4e feelin1s from 'our past or present relationships with authorit', if 'ou find it difficult to lo4e or feel lo4ed b' =od, if 'ou ha4e difficult' trustin1 =od, it is important for 'ou to 1ain freedom from those misconceptions+ A true understandin1 of =od is foundational to 'our freedom+ KSee appendiC 0+L Are +o# An;io#s or Fe r/#l. 5la1uin1 fears or anCiet' can control our li4es and

pre4ent us from walkin1 b' faith in the surpassin1 4ictor' that is ours in 0hrist+ -f 'ou feel that fear or anCiet' is pre4entin1 'ou from li4in1 with boldness and confidence in =odIs presence and power in 'our life, 'ou need to renounce it specificall' to 1ain the freedom that is 'ours in 0hrist+ KSee appendiCes > and ;+L F i!h M#s! Be B sed on !he Tr#!h o/ God-s Word *aith is the biblical response to the truth, and belie4in1 what =od sa's is a choice we all can make+ -f 'ou sa', 6- wish - could belie4e =od, but - Eust canIt,7 'ou are bein1 decei4ed+ 8f course 'ou can belie4e =od because what =od sa's is alwa's true+ Belie4in1 is somethin1 'ou choose to do, not somethin1 'ou feel like doin1+ (he New A1e mo4ement has twisted the concept of faith b' sa'in1 that we make somethin1 true b' belie4in1 it+ No, we canIt create realit' with our mindsH onl' =od creates realit'+ De can onl' face realit' with our minds+ *aith is choosin1 to belie4e and act upon what =od sa's, re1ardless of feelin1s or circumstances+ Belie4in1 somethin1 does not make it true+ -tIs trueH therefore, we choose to belie4e it+ :ust 6ha4in1 faith7 is not enou1h+ (he ke' question is whether the obEect of 'our faith is trustworth'+ -f the obEect of 'our faith is not reliable, then no amount of belie4in1 will chan1e it+ (hat is wh' our faith must be on the solid rock of =od and .is Dord+ (hat is the onl'

wa' to li4e a responsible and fruitful life+ 8n the other hand, if what 'ou belie4e in is not true, then 'ou will not eCperience the freedom that onl' the truth can brin1+ *or 1enerations, 0hristians ha4e known the importance of publicl' declarin1 what the' belie4e+ ?ead aloud the followin1 6Statement of (ruth,7 thinkin1 about what 'ou are sa'in1+ Gou ma' find it 4er' helpful to read it dail' for se4eral weeks to renew 'our mind with the truth and replace an' lies 'ou ma' be belie4in1+ S! !e"en! o/ Tr#!h 1+ - reco1niJe that there is onl' one true and li4in1 =od, who eCists as the *ather, Son, and .ol' Spirit+ .e is worth' of all honor, praise, and 1lor' as the 8ne who made all thin1s and holds all thin1s to1ether+ KSee ;Codus "!/"@#H 0olossians 1/1 @1%+L "+ - reco1niJe that :esus 0hrist is the <essiah, the Dord who became flesh and dwelt amon1 us+ - belie4e that .e came to destro' the works of the de4il, and that .e disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public displa' of them, ha4in1 triumphed o4er them+ KSee :ohn 1/1,12H 0olossians "/1&H 1 :ohn #/$+L #+ - belie4e that =od demonstrated .is own lo4e for me in that while - was still a sinner, 0hrist died for me+ - belie4e that .e has deli4ered me from the domain of darkness and transferred me to .is kin1dom, and in

.im - ha4e redemption, the for1i4eness of sins+ KSee ?omans &/$H 0olossians 1/1#@12+L 2+ - belie4e that - am now a child of =od and that - am seated with 0hrist in the hea4enlies+ - belie4e that was sa4ed b' the 1race of =od throu1h faith, and that it was a 1ift and not a result of an' works on m' part+ KSee ;phesians "/ ,$@9H 1 :ohn #/1@#+L &+ - choose to be stron1 in the )ord and in the stren1th of .is mi1ht+ - put no confidence in the flesh, for the weapons of m' warfare are not of the flesh but are di4inel' powerful for the destruction of m' stron1holds+ - put on the full armor of =od+ - resol4e to stand firm in m' faith and resist the e4il one+ KSee " 0orinthians 1!/2H ;phesians /1!@"!H 5hilippians #/#+L + - belie4e that apart from 0hrist - can do nothin1, so declare m' complete dependence on .im+ - choose to abide in 0hrist in order to bear much fruit and 1lorif' m' *ather+ - announce to Satan that :esus is m' )ord+ - reEect an' and all counterfeit 1ifts or works of Satan in m' life+ KSee :ohn 1&/&,$H 1 0orinthians 1"/#+L %+ - belie4e that the truth will set me free and that :esus is the truth+ -f .e sets me free, - will be free indeed+ - reco1niJe that walkin1 in the li1ht is the onl' path of true fellowship with =od and man+ (herefore, stand a1ainst all of SatanIs deception b' takin1 e4er' thou1ht capti4e in obedience to 0hrist+ - declare that the Bible is the onl' authoritati4e standard for truth and life+ KSee :ohn $/#",# H 12/ H " 0orinthians 1!/&H

" (imoth' #/1&@1%H 1 :ohn 1/#@%+L $+ - choose to present m' bod' to =od as a li4in1 and hol' sacrifice and the members of m' bod' as instruments of ri1hteousness+ - choose to renew m' mind b' the li4in1 Dord of =od in order that - ma' pro4e that the will of =od is 1ood, acceptable, and perfect+ - ha4e put off the old self with its e4il practices and ha4e put on the new self+ - declare m'self to be a new creation in 0hrist+ KSee ?omans /1#H 1"/1@"H " 0orinthians &/1%H 0olossians #/9@1! N-,+L 9+ B' faith, - choose to be filled with the Spirit so that can be 1uided into all truth+ - choose to walk b' the Spirit so that - will not carr' out the desires of the flesh+ KSee :ohn 1 /1#H =alatians &/1 H ;phesians &/1$+L 1!+ - renounce all selfish 1oals and choose the ultimate 1oal of lo4e+ - choose to obe' the two 1reatest commandments/ to lo4e the )ord m' =od with all m' heart, soul, mind, and stren1th and to lo4e m' nei1hbor as m'self+ KSee <atthew ""/#%@#9H 1 (imoth' 1/&+L 11+ - belie4e that the )ord :esus has all authorit' in hea4en and on earth, and .e is the head o4er all rule and authorit'+ - am complete in .im+ - belie4e that Satan and his demons are subEect to me in 0hrist since - am a member of 0hristIs bod'+ (herefore, obe' the command to submit to =od and resist the de4il, and - command Satan in the name of :esus 0hrist to lea4e m' presence+ KSee <atthew "$/1$H

;phesians 1/19@"#H 0olossians "/1!H :ames 2/%+L S!e% 8' Bi!!erness ,s. For$i,eness De need to for1i4e others so Satan cannot take ad4anta1e of us K" 0orinthians "/1!@11L+ De are commanded to 1et rid of all bitterness in our li4es and for1i4e others as we ha4e been for1i4en K;phesians 2/#1@#"L+ Ask =od to brin1 to 'our mind the people 'ou need to for1i4e b' pra'in1 the followin1 pra'er aloud/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - thank Gou for the riches of Gour kindness, forbearance, and patience toward me, knowin1 that Gour kindness has led me to repentance+ - confess that - ha4e not shown that same kindness and patience toward those who ha4e hurt or offended me+ -nstead, - ha4e held on to m' an1er, bitterness, and resentment toward them+ 5lease brin1 to m' mind all the people - need to for1i4e in order that - ma' now do so+ -n :esusI name, amen+ KSee ?omans "/2+L 8n a separate sheet of paper, list the names of people who come to 'our mind+ At this point donIt question whether 'ou need to for1i4e them or not+ -f a name comes to mind, Eust write it down+

8ften we hold thin1s a1ainst oursel4es as well, punishin1 oursel4es for wron1 choices weI4e made in the past+ Drite 6m'self 7 at the bottom of 'our list if 'ou need to for1i4e 'ourself+ *or1i4in1 'ourself is acceptin1 the truth that =od has alread' for1i4en 'ou in 0hrist+ -f =od for1i4es 'ou, 'ou can for1i4e 'ourselfF Also write down 6thou1hts a1ainst =od7 at the bottom of 'our list+ 8b4iousl', =od has ne4er done an'thin1 wron1 so we donIt ha4e to for1i4e .im+ Sometimes, howe4er, we harbor an1r' thou1hts a1ainst .im because .e did not do what we wanted .im to do+ (hose feelin1s of an1er or resentment a1ainst =od can become a wall between us and .im, so we must let them 1o+ Before 'ou be1in workin1 throu1h the process of for1i4in1 those on 'our list, take a few minutes to re4iew what for1i4eness is and what it is not+ T *or1i4eness is not for1ettin1+ 5eople who want to for1et all that was done to them will find the' cannot do it+ >onIt put off for1i4in1 those who ha4e hurt 'ou, hopin1 the pain will one da' 1o awa'+ 8nce 'ou choose to for1i4e someone, then 0hrist can come and be1in to heal 'ou of 'our hurts+ But the healin1 cannot be1in until 'ou first for1i4e+ T *or1i4eness is a choice, a decision of 'our will+ Since =od requires 'ou to for1i4e, it is somethin1 'ou can do+ Sometimes it is 4er' hard to for1i4e someone because we naturall' want re4en1e for the thin1s we

ha4e suffered+ *or1i4eness seems to 1o a1ainst our sense of what is ri1ht and fair+ So we hold on to our an1er, punishin1 people o4er and o4er a1ain in our minds for the pain the'I4e caused us+ But we are told b' =od ne4er to take our own re4en1e K?omans 1"/19L+ )et =od deal with the person+ )et him or her off 'our hook because as lon1 as 'ou refuse to for1i4e someone, 'ou are still hooked to that person+ Gou are still chained to 'our past, bound up in 'our bitterness+ B' for1i4in1, 'ou let the other person off 'our hookBbut he or she is not off =odIs hook+ Gou must trust that =od will deal with the person Eustl' and fairl', somethin1 'ou simpl' cannot do+ 6But 'ou donIt know how much this person hurt meF7 'ou mi1ht sa'+ GouIre ri1ht+ De donIt, but :esus does, and .e tells 'ou to for1i4e others for 'our sake+ Until 'ou let 1o of 'our an1er and hatred, the person is still hurtin1 'ou+ Gou canIt turn back the clock and chan1e the past, but 'ou can be free from it+ Gou can stop the pain, but there is onl' one wa' to do itBfor1i4e from 'our heart+ *or1i4e others for 'our sake so 'ou can be free from 'our past+ T *or1i4eness is a1reein1 to li4e with the consequences of another personIs sin+ Gou are 1oin1 to li4e with those consequences an'wa' whether 'ou like it or not, so the onl' choice 'ou ha4e is whether 'ou will do so in the bonda1e of bitterness or in the freedom of for1i4eness+ No one trul' for1i4es without acceptin1 and sufferin1 the pain of another personIs

sin+ (hat can seem unfair, and 'ou ma' wonder, Dhere is the EusticeM But the cross makes for1i4eness le1all' and morall' ri1ht+ :esus died once, for all our sins+ :esus took the eternal consequences of sin upon .imself+ =od 6made .im who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we mi1ht become the ri1hteousness of =od in .im7 K" 0orinthians &/"1L+ De, howe4er, often suffer the temporar' consequences of other peopleIs sins+ (hat is simpl' a harsh realit' of life that all of us ha4e to face+ T >o not wait for the other person to ask for 'our for1i4eness+ ?emember, :esus did not wait for those who were crucif'in1 .im to apolo1iJe before .e for1a4e them+ ;4en while the' mocked .im and Eeered at .im, .e pra'ed, 6*ather, for1i4e themH for the' do not know what the' are doin17 K)uke "#/#2L+ T *or1i4e from 'our heart+ Allow =od to brin1 the painful memories to the surfaceH acknowled1e how 'ou feel toward those whoI4e hurt 'ou+ -f 'our for1i4eness doesnIt touch the emotional core of 'our life, it will be incomplete+ (oo often weIre afraid of the pain so we bur' our emotions deep down inside us+ )et =od brin1 them to the surface so .e can be1in to heal those dama1ed emotions+ T *or1i4eness is choosin1 not to hold someoneIs sin a1ainst him or her an'more+ -t is common for bitter people to brin1 up past issues with those who ha4e

hurt them+ (he' want those others to feel as bad as the' doF But we must let 1o of the past and choose to reEect an' thou1ht of re4en1e+ (his doesnIt mean 'ou continue to put up with the future sins of others+ =od does not tolerate sin, and neither should 'ou+ >onIt allow 'ourself to be continuall' abused b' others+ (ake a stand a1ainst sin while continuin1 to eCercise 1race and for1i4eness toward those who ha4e hurt 'ou+ -f 'ou need help settin1 scriptural boundaries to protect 'ourself from further abuse, talk to a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor+ T >onIt wait until 'ou feel like for1i4in1+ Gou will ne4er 1et there+ <ake the hard choice to for1i4e e4en if 'ou donIt feel like it+ 8nce 'ou choose to for1i4e, Satan will lose his power o4er 'ou in that area, and =od will heal 'our dama1ed emotions+ *reedom is what 'ou will 1ain ri1ht nowBnot necessaril' an immediate chan1e in feelin1s+ Now 'ou are read' to be1in+ Startin1 with the first person on 'our list, make the choice to for1i4e him or her for e4er' painful memor' that comes to 'our mind+ Sta' with that indi4idual until 'ou are sure 'ou ha4e dealt with all the remembered pain+ (hen work 'our wa' down the list in the same wa'+ As 'ou be1in for1i4in1 people, =od ma' brin1 to 'our mind painful memories 'ouI4e totall' for1otten+ )et .im do this e4en if it hurts+ =od wants 'ou to be freeH

for1i4in1 those people is the onl' wa'+ >onIt tr' to eCcuse the offenderIs beha4ior, e4en if it is someone 'ou are reall' close to+ >onIt sa', 6)ord, please help me to for1i4e+7 .e is alread' helpin1 'ou and will be with 'ou all the wa' throu1h the process+ >onIt sa', 6)ord, - want to for1i4eQ7 because that b'passes the hard choice we ha4e to make+ Sa', 6)ord, - choose to for1i4eQ+7 *or e4er' painful memor' 'ou ha4e about each person on 'our list, pra' aloud, )ord, - choose to for1i4e Kname the personL for Kwhat the' did or failed to doL, which made me feel Kshare the painful feelin1sL+ After 'ou ha4e for1i4en each person for all the offenses that came to 'our mind, and after 'ou ha4e honestl' eCpressed how 'ou felt, conclude this step b' pra'in1 aloud, )ord, - choose not to hold onto m' resentment+ - thank Gou for settin1 me free from the bonda1e of m' bitterness+ - relinquish m' ri1ht to seek re4en1e and ask Gou to heal m' dama1ed emotions+ - now ask Gou to bless those who ha4e hurt me+ -n :esusI name, pra', amen+ S!e% 9' Re1ellion ,s. S#1"ission De li4e in a rebellious a1e+ <an' people onl' obe'

laws and authorities when it is con4enient for them+ (here is a 1eneral lack of respect for those in 1o4ernment, and 0hristians are often as 1uilt' as the rest of societ' in fosterin1 a critical, rebellious spirit+ 0ertainl', we are not eCpected to a1ree with our leadersI policies that are in 4iolation of Scripture, but we are to 6honor all peopleH lo4e the brotherhood, fear =od, honor the kin17 K1 5eter "/1%L+ =od established all 1o4ernin1 authorities and requires us to be submissi4e K?omans 1#/1@&H 1 5eter "/1#@ 1%L+ ?ebellin1 a1ainst =od and the authorities .e has set up is a 4er' serious sin, for it 1i4es Satan an opportunit' to attack+ =od requires more, howe4er, than Eust the outward appearance of submissionH .e wants us to sincerel' submit from the heart to those in authorit'+ -t is for 'our spiritual protection that 'ou li4e under the authorit' of =od and those .e has placed o4er 'ou+ (he Bible makes it clear that we ha4e two main responsibilities toward those in authorit' o4er us/ to pra' for them, and to submit to them K?omans 1#/1@%H 1 (imoth' "/1@"L+ (o commit 'ourself to that 1odl' lifest'le, pra' the followin1 pra'er aloud from 'our heart/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, Gou ha4e said in the Bible that rebellion is the same thin1 as witchcraft and as bad as idolatr'+ - know - ha4e not alwa's been submissi4e, but instead, - ha4e rebelled in m' heart a1ainst Gou and a1ainst those Gou ha4e placed in authorit' o4er

me+ - pra' that Gou would show me all the wa's - ha4e been rebellious+ - choose now to adopt a submissi4e spirit and a ser4antIs heart+ -n :esusI precious name pra', amen+ KSee 1 Samuel 1&/"#+L Bein1 under authorit' is clearl' an act of faithF B' submittin1, 'ou are trustin1 =od to work throu1h .is established lines of authorit' e4en when those who eCercise that authorit' are harsh or unkind or tell 'ou to do somethin1 'ou donIt want to do+ (here ma' be times when those o4er 'ou abuse their authorit' and break the laws that are ordained b' =od for the protection of innocent people+ -n those cases, 'ou will need to seek help from a hi1her authorit' for 'our protection+ (he laws in 'our state ma' require that such abuse be reported to the police or other 1o4ernmental a1enc'+ -f there is continuin1 abuse Kph'sical, mental, emotional, or seCualL where 'ou li4e, 'ou ma' need further counselin1 help to deal with that situation+ -f authorities abuse their position b' requirin1 'ou to break =odIs law or compromise 'our commitment to .im, then 'ou need to obe' =od rather than man KActs 2/19@"!L+ Be careful, thou1h+ >onIt assume that an authorit' is 4iolatin1 =odIs Dord Eust because he or she is tellin1 'ou to do somethin1 'ou donIt like+ De all need to adopt a humble, submissi4e spirit to one another in the fear of 0hrist K;phesians &/"1L+ -n addition, howe4er, =od has set up specific lines of

authorit' to protect us and to 1i4e order to our dail' li4es+ As 'ou pra'erfull' look o4er the neCt list, allow the )ord to show 'ou an' specific wa's in which 'ou ha4e been rebellious to authorit'+ (hen, usin1 the pra'er of confession that follows the list, specificall' confess whate4er the )ord brin1s to 'our mind+ 0i4il 1o4ernment Kincludin1 traffic laws, taC laws, attitude toward 1o4ernment officialsL K?omans 1#/1@%H 1 (imoth' "/1@2H 1 5eter "/1#@1%L 5arents, stepparents, or le1al 1uardians K;phesians /1@#L (eachers, coaches, school officials K?omans 1#/1@2L ;mplo'ers, both past and present K1 5eter "/1$@"#L .usband K1 5eter #/1@2L or wife K;phesians &/"1H 1 5eter #/%L ONote to .usbands/ (ake a moment and ask the )ord if 'our lack of lo4e for 'our wife could be fosterin1 a rebellious spirit within her+ -f so, confess that now as a 4iolation of ;phesians &/""@##+P 0hurch leaders K.ebrews 1#/%L =od K>aniel 9/&,9L *or each wa' in which the Spirit of =od brin1s to 'our mind that 'ou ha4e been rebellious, use the followin1 pra'er to specificall' confess that sin/

)ord, - confess that - ha4e been rebellious toward KnameL b' Ksa' what 'ou did specificall'L+ (hank Gou for for1i4in1 m' rebellion+ - choose now to be submissi4e and obedient to Gour Dord+ B' the shed blood of the )ord :esus 0hrist, - pra' that all 1round 1ained b' e4il spirits in m' life due to m' rebellion would be canceled+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ S!e% :' &ride ,s. (#"ili!y 5ride kills+ 5ride sa's, 6- donIt need =od or an'one elseIs help+ - can handle it b' m'self+7 8h no, 'ou canItF De absolutel' need =od, and we need each other+ (he apostle 5aul wisel' wrote, 6OweP worship in the Spirit of =od and 1lor' in 0hrist :esus and put no confidence in the flesh7 K5hilippians #/#, emphasis addedL+ (hat is a 1ood definition of humilit'/ puttin1 no confidence in the flesh, that is, in oursel4es, but rather bein1 6stron1 in the )ord and in the stren1th of .is mi1ht7 K;phesians /1!, emphasis addedL+ .umilit' is confidence properl' placed in =od+ 5ro4erbs #/&@% eCpresses a similar thou1ht/ 6(rust in the )8?> with all 'our heart and do not lean on 'our own understandin1+ -n all 'our wa's acknowled1e .im, and .e will make 'our paths strai1ht+ >o not be wise in 'our own e'esH fear the )8?> and turn awa' from e4il+7 K:ames 2/ @1! and 1 5eter &/1@1! also warn us that serious spiritual problems will result when we are proud+L Use the followin1 pra'er to eCpress 'our commitment to li4in1 humbl' before =od/

>ear hea4enl' *ather, Gou ha4e said that pride 1oes before destruction and an arro1ant spirit before stumblin1+ - confess that - ha4e been thinkin1 mainl' of m'self and not of others+ - ha4e not denied m'self, picked up m' cross dail', and followed Gou+ As a result, - ha4e 1i4en 1round to the de4il in m' life+ ha4e sinned b' belie4in1 - could be happ' and successful on m' own+ - confess that - ha4e placed m' will before Gours, and - ha4e centered m' life around m'self instead of Gou+ - repent of m' pride and selfishness and pra' that all 1round 1ained in m' members b' the enemies of the )ord :esus 0hrist would be canceled+ - choose to rel' on the .ol' SpiritIs power and 1uidance so that - will do nothin1 from selfishness or empt' conceit+ Dith humilit' of mind, - will re1ard others as more important than m'self+ And - choose to make Gou, )ord, the center of m' life+ 5lease show me now all the specific wa's in which ha4e li4ed m' life in pride+ ;nable me throu1h lo4e to ser4e others and in honor to prefer others+ - ask all of this in the 1entle and humble name of :esus, m' )ord, amen+ KSee 5ro4erbs 1 /1$H <atthew /##H 1 /"2H ?omans 1"/1!H 5hilippians "/#+L .a4in1 made that commitment to =od in pra'er, now allow .im to show 'ou an' specific wa's in which 'ou ha4e li4ed in a proud manner+ (he followin1 list ma'

help 'ou+ As the )ord brin1s to 'our mind areas of pride, use the pra'er on the neCt pa1e to 1uide 'ou in 'our confession+ ( ,in$ s!ron$er desire !o do "y )ill !h n God-s )ill )eanin1 too much on m' own understandin1 and eCperience rather than seekin1 =odIs 1uidance throu1h pra'er and .is Dord ?el'in1 on m' own stren1ths and abilities instead of dependin1 on the power of the .ol' Spirit Bein1 more concerned about controllin1 others than about de4elopin1 self@control Bein1 too bus' doin1 6important7 thin1s to take time to do little thin1s for others .a4in1 a tendenc' to think that - ha4e no needs *indin1 it hard to admit when - am wron1 Bein1 more concerned about pleasin1 people than pleasin1 =od Bein1 concerned about 1ettin1 the credit - feel deser4e (hinkin1 - am more humble, spiritual, reli1ious, or de4oted than others

Bein1 dri4en to obtain reco1nition b' attainin1 de1rees, titles, or positions 8ften feelin1 that m' needs are more important than another personIs needs 0onsiderin1 m'self better than others because of m' academic, artistic, or athletic abilities and accomplishments 8ther wa's - ha4e thou1ht more hi1hl' of m'self than should Klist hereL/ *or each of the abo4e areas that has been true in 'our life, pra' aloud, )ord, - a1ree - ha4e been proud in Kname the areaL+ (hank Gou for for1i4in1 me for m' pride+ - choose to humble m'self before Gou and others+ - choose to place all m' confidence in Gou and none in m' flesh+ -n :esusI name, amen+ De lin$ )i!h &re=#dice nd Bi$o!ry 5reEudice and bi1otr' are other forms of pride, ones that are all too common+ 8ur first reaction mi1ht be to den' that these attitudes could be true of us+ But if we ha4e an' awareness of prideful attitudes toward others, this would be a 1ood cause for us to pra'erfull' allow =od to search our heart and brin1 to the surface an'thin1 that needs to be dealt with+ KSee appendiC *+L

S!e% >' Bond $e ,s. Freedo" <an' times we feel trapped in a 4icious c'cle of 6sin@ confess@sin@confess7 that ne4er seems to end+ De can become 4er' discoura1ed and end up Eust 1i4in1 up and 1i4in1 in to the sins of our flesh+ (o find freedom we must follow :ames 2/%/ 6Submit therefore to =od+ ?esist the de4il and he will flee from 'ou+7 De submit to =od b' confession of sin and repentance Kturnin1 awa' from sinL+ De resist the de4il b' reEectin1 his lies+ -nstead, we walk in the truth and put on the full armor of =od Ksee ;phesians /1!@"!L+ =ainin1 freedom from sin that has become a habit often requires help from a trusted brother or sister in 0hrist+ :ames &/1 sa's, 60onfess 'our sins to one another and pra' for one another so that 'ou ma' be healed+ (he effecti4e pra'er of a ri1hteous man can accomplish much+7 Sometimes the assurance of 1 :ohn 1/9 is enou1h/ 6-f we confess our sins, .e is faithful and ri1hteous to for1i4e us our sins and to cleanse us from all unri1hteousness+7 ?emember, confession is not sa'in1, 6-Im sorr'7H it is openl' admittin1, 6- did it+7 Dhether 'ou need help from other people or Eust the accountabilit' of walkin1 in the li1ht before =od, pra' the followin1 pra'er aloud/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, Gou ha4e told me to put on the )ord :esus 0hrist and make no pro4ision for the flesh in re1ard to its lust+ - confess that - ha4e 1i4en in to

fleshl' lusts that wa1e war a1ainst m' soul+ - thank Gou that in 0hrist m' sins are alread' for1i4en, but ha4e broken Gour hol' law and 1i4en the de4il a chance to wa1e war in m' bod'+ - come to Gou now to confess and renounce these sins of the flesh so that mi1ht be cleansed and set free from the bonda1e of sin+ 5lease re4eal to m' mind all the sins of the flesh ha4e committed and the wa's - ha4e 1rie4ed the .ol' Spirit+ -n :esusI hol' name - pra', amen+ KSee 5ro4erbs "$/1# N-,H ?omans /1"@1#H 1#/12H " 0orinthians 2/"H :ames 2/1H 1 5eter "/11H &/$+L (he followin1 list contains man' sins of the flesh, but a pra'erful eCamination of <ark %/"!@"#, =alatians &/19@ "1, ;phesians 2/"&@#1, and other Scripture passa1es will help 'ou to be e4en more thorou1h+ )ook o4er the list below and the Scriptures Eust listed and ask the .ol' Spirit to brin1 to 'our mind the ones 'ou need to confess+ .e ma' re4eal to 'ou others as well+ *or each one the )ord shows 'ou, pra' a pra'er of confession from 'our heart+ (here is a sample pra'er followin1 the list+ KNote/ SeCual sins, di4orce, eatin1 disorders, substance abuse, abortion, suicidal tendencies, and perfectionism will be dealt with later in this Step+ *urther counselin1 help ma' be necessar' to find complete healin1 and freedom in these and other areas+L Stealin1 Uuarrelin1 or fi1htin1 :ealous' or en4'

0omplainin1 or criticism Sarcasm )ustful actions =ossip or slander Swearin1 Apath' or laJiness )'in1 .atred An1er )ustful thou1hts >runkenness 0heatin1 5rocrastination =reed or materialism 8thers/

)ord, - confess that - ha4e committed the sin of Kname the sinL+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness and cleansin1+ - now turn awa' from this sin and turn to Gou, )ord+ Stren1then me b' Gour .ol' Spirit to obe' Gou+ -n :esusI name, amen+ Wron$ Se;# l Use o/ O#r Body -t is our responsibilit' not to allow sin to ha4e control o4er our bodies+ De must not use our bodies or another personIs bod' as an instrument of unri1hteousness Ksee ?omans /1"@1#L+ SeCual immoralit' is not onl' sin a1ainst =od but is sin a1ainst 'our bod', the temple of the .ol' Spirit K1 0orinthians /1$@19L+ (o find freedom from seCual

bonda1e, be1in b' pra'in1 the followin1 pra'er/ )ord, - ask Gou to brin1 to m' mind e4er' seCual use of m' bod' as an instrument of unri1hteousness so that, in 0hrist, - can renounce these seCual sins and break the bonda1e of each of them in 0hrist+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ As the )ord brin1s to 'our mind e4er' wron1 seCual use of 'our bod', whether it was done to 'ou Krape, incest, seCual molestationL or willin1l' b' 'ou Kporno1raph', masturbation, seCual immoralit'L, renounce e4er' occasion+ )ord, - renounce Kname the specific use of 'our bod'L with Kname an' other person in4ol4edL+ - ask Gou to break that sinful bond with KnameL+ After 'ou are finished, commit 'our bod' to the )ord b' pra'in1, )ord, - renounce all these uses of m' bod' as an instrument of unri1hteousness, and - admit to an' willful participation+ - choose now to present m' e'es, mouth, mind, heart, hands, feet, and seCual or1ans to Gou as instruments of ri1hteousness+ - present m' whole bod' to Gou as a li4in1 sacrifice, hol' and acceptable+ - choose to reser4e the seCual use of m' bod' for marria1e onl'+ - reEect the de4ilIs lie that m' bod' is not clean or that it is dirt' or in an' wa' unacceptable to Gou as a result

of m' past seCual eCperiences+ )ord, thank Gou that Gou ha4e totall' cleansed and for1i4en me and that Gou lo4e and accept me Eust the wa' - am+ (herefore, choose now to accept m'self and m' bod' as clean in Gour e'es+ -n :esusI name, amen+ KSee .ebrews 1#/2L S%eci l &r yers /or S%eci l Needs Di,orce )ord, - confess to Gou an' part that - pla'ed in m' di4orce Kask the )ord to show 'ou specificsL+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness, and - choose not to condemn m'self+ - renounce the lie that di4orce affects m' identit' in 0hrist+ - am a child of =od, and - reEect the lie that - am a second@class 0hristian because of the di4orce+ - reEect the lie that sa's - am worthless and unlo4able and that m' life is empt' and meanin1less+ - am complete in 0hrist who lo4es me and accepts me Eust as - am+ )ord, - commit the healin1 of all hurts in m' life to Gou, as - ha4e chosen to for1i4e those who ha4e hurt me+ - also place m' future into Gour hands and choose to seek human companionship in Gour church+ K-f marriedBL surrender completel' to Gour presence and power in m' marria1e+ K-f sin1leBL - choose to trust 'ou, )ord, to pro4ide another spouse if it is Gour will+ And if not, know that Gour 1race is sufficient for me+ - pra' all this in the healin1 name of :esus, m' Sa4ior, )ord, and closest friend, amen+

(o"ose;# li!y )ord, - renounce the lie that Gou ha4e created me or an'one else to be homoseCual, and - a1ree that in Gour Dord Gou clearl' forbid homoseCual beha4ior+ choose to accept m'self as a child of =od, and - thank Gou that Gou created me as a man KwomanL+ renounce all homoseCual thou1hts, ur1es, dri4es, and acts, and renounce all wa's that Satan has used these thin1s to per4ert m' relationships+ - announce that - am free in 0hrist to relate to the opposite seC and m' own seC in the wa' that Gou intended+ -n :esusI name, amen+ A1or!ion )ord, - confess that - was not a proper 1uardian and keeper of the life Gou entrusted to me, and - admit that as sin+ (hank Gou that, because of Gour for1i4eness, can for1i4e m'self+ - reco1niJe that the child is in Gour carin1 hands for all eternit'+ -n :esusI name, amen+ S#icid l Tendencies )ord, - renounce all suicidal thou1hts and an' attempts -I4e made to take m' own life or in an' wa' inEure m'self+ - renounce the lie that life is hopeless and that - can find peace and freedom b' takin1 m' own life+ Satan is a thief and comes to steal, kill, and destro'+ - choose life in 0hrist, who said .e came to 1i4e me life and 1i4e it abundantl'+ (hank Gou for Gour for1i4eness that allows me to for1i4e m'self+ - choose

to belie4e that there is alwa's hope in 0hrist+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ KSee :ohn 1!/1!+L Dri,enness nd &er/ec!ionis" )ord, - renounce the lie that m' self@worth is dependent upon m' abilit' to perform+ - announce the truth that m' identit' and sense of worth is found in who - am as Gour child+ - renounce seekin1 the appro4al and acceptance of other people, and choose to belie4e that - am alread' appro4ed and accepted in 0hrist because of .is death and resurrection for me+ - choose to belie4e the truth that ha4e been sa4ed, not b' deeds done in ri1hteousness, but accordin1 to Gour merc'+ - choose to belie4e that - am no lon1er under the curse of the law because 0hrist became a curse for me+ - recei4e the free 1ift of life in 0hrist and choose to abide in .im+ - renounce stri4in1 for perfection b' li4in1 under the law+ B' Gour 1race, hea4enl' *ather, - choose from this da' forward to walk b' faith in the power of Gour .ol' Spirit accordin1 to what Gou ha4e said is true+ -n :esusI name, amen+ E !in$ Disorders or Sel/IM#!il !ion )ord, - renounce the lie that m' 4alue as a person is dependent upon m' appearance or performance+ renounce cuttin1 or abusin1 m'self, 4omitin1, usin1 laCati4es, or star4in1 m'self as a means of bein1 in

control, alterin1 m' appearance, or tr'in1 to cleanse m'self of e4il+ - announce that onl' the blood of the )ord :esus cleanses me from sin+ - realiJe - ha4e been bou1ht with a price and m' bod', the temple of the .ol' Spirit, belon1s to =od+ (herefore, - choose to 1lorif' =od in m' bod'+ - renounce the lie that - am e4il or that an' part of m' bod' is e4il+ (hank Gou that Gou accept me Eust the wa' - am in 0hrist+ -n :esusI name pra', amen+ S#1s! nce A1#se )ord, - confess that - ha4e misused substances Kalcohol, tobacco, food, prescription or street dru1sL for the purpose of pleasure, to escape realit', or to cope with difficult problems+ - confess that - ha4e abused m' bod' and pro1rammed m' mind in a harmful wa'+ - ha4e quenched the .ol' Spirit as well+ (hank Gou for for1i4in1 me+ - renounce an' satanic connection or influence in m' life that has come throu1h m' misuse of food or chemicals+ - cast m' anCieties onto 0hrist, who lo4es me+ - commit m'self to 'ield no lon1er to substance abuseH instead choose to allow the .ol' Spirit to direct and empower me+ -n :esusI name, amen+ S!e% @' C#rses ,s. Blessin$s (he neCt step to freedom is to renounce the sins of 'our ancestors as well as an' satanic assi1nments directed toward 'ou or 'our ministr'+ -n 1i4in1 the (en 0ommandments, =od said,

Gou shall not make for 'ourself an idol, or an' likeness of what is in hea4en abo4e or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth+ Gou shall not worship them or ser4e themH for -, the )8?> 'our =od, am a Eealous =od, 4isitin1 the iniquit' of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth 1enerations of those who hate <e, but showin1 lo4in1kindness to thousands, to those who lo4e <e and keep <' commandments K;Codus "!/2@ L+ -niquities can be passed on from one 1eneration to the neCt if 'ou donIt renounce the sins of 'our ancestors and claim 'our new spiritual herita1e in 0hrist+ Gou are not 1uilt' for the sin of an' ancestor, but because of their sin, 'ou ma' be 1eneticall' predisposed to certain stren1ths or weaknesses and influenced b' the ph'sical and spiritual atmosphere in which 'ou were raised+ (hese conditions can contribute toward causin1 'ou to stru11le with a particular sin+ Ask the )ord to show 'ou specificall' what sins are characteristic of 'our famil' b' pra'in1 the followin1 pra'er/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - ask Gou to re4eal to m' mind now all the sins of m' ancestors that are bein1 passed down throu1h famil' lines+ - want to be free from those influences and walk in m' new identit' as a child of =od+ -n :esusI name, amen+ As the )ord brin1s those areas of famil' sin to 'our mind, list them here+ Gou will be specificall' renouncin1 them later in this step+

-n order to walk free from the sins of 'our ancestors and an' assi1nments tar1eted a1ainst 'ou, read the followin1 declaration and pra' the followin1 pra'er aloud+ ?emember, 'ou ha4e all the authorit' and protection 'ou need in 0hrist to take 'our stand a1ainst such acti4it'+ Decl r !ion - here and now reEect and disown all the sins of m' ancestors+ - specificall' renounce the sins of Kname the areas of famil' sin the )ord re4ealed to 'ouL+ As one who has now been deli4ered from the domain of darkness into the kin1dom of =odIs Son, - choose to belie4e that all the sins and iniquities of m' ancestors ha4e been confessed and that - now stand for1i4en and cleansed in 0hrist+ As one who has been crucified and raised with :esus 0hrist and who sits with .im in hea4enl' places, - renounce all satanic assi1nments that are directed toward me and m' ministr'+ - choose to belie4e that :esus has broken e4er' curse that Satan and his workers ha4e put on me+ - announce to Satan and all his forces that 0hrist became a curse for me when .e died for m' sins on the cross+ - reEect an' and e4er' wa' in which Satan ma' claim ownership of me+ - belon1 to the )ord :esus 0hrist, who purchased me with .is own blood+ - reEect all blood sacrifices whereb' Satan ma' claim ownership of me+ - declare m'self to be full' and eternall' si1ned o4er and committed to the )ord :esus 0hrist+ B' the authorit' ha4e in 0hrist, - now command e4er' enem' of the )ord :esus to lea4e m' presence+ - commit m'self to

m' hea4enl' *ather to do .is will from this da' forward+ KSee =alatians #/1#+L &r yer >ear hea4enl' *ather, - come to Gou as Gour child, bou1ht out of sla4er' to sin b' the blood of the )ord :esus 0hrist+ Gou are the )ord of the uni4erse and the )ord of m' life+ - submit m' bod' to Gou as an instrument of ri1hteousness, a li4in1 and hol' sacrifice, that - ma' 1lorif' Gou in m' bod'+ - now ask Gou to fill me with the .ol' Spirit+ - commit m'self to the renewin1 of m' mind in order to pro4e that Gour will is 1ood, acceptable, and perfect for me+ All this pra' in the name and authorit' of the risen )ord :esus 0hrist, amen+ M in! inin$ +o#r Freedo" ;4en after findin1 freedom in 0hrist b' 1oin1 throu1h these se4en steps, 'ou ma' come under attack hours, da's, or e4en weeks later+ But 'ou donIt ha4e to 'ield to the world, the flesh, or the de4il+ As 'ou continue to walk in humble submission to =od, 'ou can resist the de4il and he will flee from 'ou K:ames 2/%L+ (he de4il is attracted to sin like flies are attracted to 1arba1e+ =et rid of the 1arba1e and the flies will depart for smellier places+ -n the same wa', walk in the truth, confessin1 all sin and for1i4in1 those who hurt

'ou, and the de4il will ha4e no place in 'our life+ ?ealiJe that one 4ictor' does not mean that the battles are o4er+ *reedom must be maintained+ After completin1 these steps to freedom, one happ' lad' asked, 6Dill - alwa's be like thisM7 (he answer is, she will maintain her freedom as lon1 as she remains in a ri1ht relationship with =od+ ;4en if she slips and falls, she should know how to 1et ri1ht with =od a1ain+ 8ne 4ictim of horrible atrocities shared this illustration/ -tIs like bein1 forced to pla' a 1ame with an u1l' stran1er in m' own home+ - kept losin1 and wantin1 to quit but the u1l' stran1er wouldnIt let me+ *inall', called the police Ka hi1her authorit'L, and the' came and escorted the stran1er out+ .e knocked on the door tr'in1 to re1ain entr', but this time - reco1niJed his 4oice and didnIt let him in+ Dhat a beautiful picture of 1ainin1 and keepin1 our freedom in 0hristF De call upon :esus, the ultimate authorit', and .e escorts the enem' of our souls awa' from us+ (o) !o M in! in +o#r Freedo" Gour freedom must be maintained+ De cannot emphasiJe that enou1h+ Gou ha4e won a 4er' important battle in an on1oin1 war+ *reedom will continue to be 'ours as lon1 as 'ou keep choosin1 the truth and standin1 firm in the stren1th of the )ord+ -f

'ou become aware of lies 'ou ha4e belie4ed, renounce them and choose the truth+ -f new, painful memories surface, for1i4e those who hurt 'ou+ -f the )ord shows 'ou other areas of sin in 'our life, confess those promptl'+ (his tool can ser4e as a constant 1uide for 'ou in dealin1 with the thin1s =od points out to 'ou+ Some people ha4e found it helpful to walk throu1h the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist a1ain+ As 'ou do, read the instructions carefull'+ *or 'our encoura1ement and 1rowth, we recommend these additional books/ ,ictor' 84er the >arkness Kor the 'outh 4ersion, Stompin1 8ut the >arknessL, Dalkin1 in *reedom Ka "1@da' follow@up de4otionalL, and )i4in1 *ree in 0hrist+ (o maintain 'our freedom in 0hrist, we stron1l' su11est the followin1 as well+ 1+ Be in4ol4ed in a lo4in1, carin1 church fellowship where 'ou can be open and honest with others and where =odIs truth is tau1ht with 1race+ "+ ?ead and meditate on the Bible dail'+ <emoriJe ke' 4erses from the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist+ Gou ma' want to read the 6Statement of (ruth7 Ksee Step "L aloud dail' and stud' the 4erses mentioned+ #+ )earn to take e4er' thou1ht capti4e to the obedience of 0hrist+ Assume responsibilit' for 'our thou1ht life+ >onIt let 'our mind become passi4e+ ?eEect all lies, choose to focus on the truth, and stand firm in 'our true identit' as a child of =od in 0hrist+

2+ >onIt drift back to old patterns of thinkin1, feelin1, and actin1+ (his can happen 4er' easil' if 'ou become spirituall' and mentall' laJ'+ -f 'ou are stru11lin1 with walkin1 in the truth, share 'our battles openl' with a trusted friend who will pra' for 'ou and encoura1e 'ou to stand firm+ &+ >onIt eCpect other people to fi1ht 'our battles for 'ou, howe4er+ (he' can help 'ou, but the' canIt think, pra', read the Bible, or choose the truth for 'ou+ + 0ommit 'ourself to dail' pra'er+ 5ra'er demonstrates a life of trustin1 in and dependin1 on =od+ Gou can pra' the followin1 pra'ers often and with confidence+ )et the words come from 'our heart as well as 'our lips and feel free to chan1e them to make them 'our pra'ers+ D ily &r yer nd Decl r !ion >ear hea4enl' *ather, - praise Gou and honor Gou as m' )ord and Sa4ior+ Gou are in control of all thin1s+ thank Gou that Gou are alwa's with me and will ne4er lea4e me nor forsake me+ Gou are the onl' all@powerful and onl' wise =od+ Gou are kind and lo4in1 in all Gour wa's+ - lo4e Gou and thank Gou that - am united with 0hrist and spirituall' ali4e in .im+ - choose not to lo4e the world or the thin1s in the world, and - crucif' the flesh and all its passions+ (hank Gou for the life - now ha4e in 0hrist+ - ask Gou to fill me with the .ol' Spirit so - ma' sa' no to sin and

'es to Gou+ - declare m' total dependence upon Gou, and - take m' stand a1ainst Satan and all his l'in1 wa's+ - choose to belie4e the truth of Gour Dord despite what m' feelin1s ma' sa'+ - refuse to be discoura1ed, because Gou are the =od of all hope+ Nothin1 is too difficult for Gou+ - am confident that Gou will suppl' all m' needs as - seek to li4e accordin1 to Gour Dord+ - thank Gou that - can be content and li4e a responsible life throu1h 0hrist who stren1thens me+ - now take m' stand a1ainst Satan and command him and all his e4il spirits to depart from me+ - choose to put on Gour full armor, the armor of =od, so - ma' be able to stand firm a1ainst all the de4ilIs schemes+ submit m' bod' as a li4in1 and hol' sacrifice to Gou, and - choose to renew m' mind b' Gour li4in1 Dord+ B' so doin1 - will be able to pro4e that Gour will is 1ood, acceptable, and perfect for me+ -n the name of m' )ord and Sa4ior, :esus 0hrist, amen+ Bed!i"e &r yer (hank Gou, )ord, that Gou ha4e brou1ht me into Gour famil' and ha4e blessed me with e4er' spiritual blessin1 in the hea4enl' places in 0hrist :esus+ (hank Gou for this time of renewal and refreshment throu1h sleep+ - accept it as one of Gour blessin1s for Gour children, and - trust Gou to 1uard m' mind and m' bod' durin1 m' sleep+ As - ha4e thou1ht about Gou and Gour truth durin1 the da', - choose to let those 1ood thou1hts continue in

m' mind while - am asleep+ - commit m'self to Gou for Gour protection a1ainst e4er' attempt of Satan and his demons to attack me durin1 sleep+ =uard m' mind from ni1htmares+ - renounce all fear and cast e4er' anCiet' upon Gou, )ord+ - commit m'self to Gou as m' rock, m' fortress, and m' stron1 tower+ <a' Gour peace be upon this place of rest now+ -n the stron1 name of the )ord :esus 0hrist - pra', amen+ &r yer /or Cle nsin$ (o"e4 A% r!"en!4 or Roo" After remo4in1 and destro'in1 all obEects of false worship, pra' this pra'er aloud in e4er' room if necessar'/ .ea4enl' *ather, - acknowled1e that Gou are the )ord of hea4en and earth+ -n Gour so4erei1n power and lo4e, Gou ha4e 1i4en me all thin1s to enEo'+ (hank Gou for this place to li4e+ - claim m' home as a place of spiritual safet' for me and m' famil' and ask for Gour protection from all the attacks of the enem'+ As a child of =od, raised up and seated with 0hrist in the hea4enl' places, - command e4er' e4il spirit claimin1 1round in this place, based on the acti4ities of past or present occupants, includin1 me, to lea4e and ne4er return+ - renounce all curses and spells directed a1ainst this place+ - ask Gou, hea4enl' *ather, to post Gour hol', warrin1 an1els around this place to 1uard it from an' and all attempts of the enem' to enter and disturb Gour purposes for me and m' famil'+ - thank Gou, )ord, for doin1 this, in the name of the )ord :esus 0hrist, amen+

&r yer /or Li,in$ in

NonIChris!i n En,iron"en!

After remo4in1 and destro'in1 all obEects of false worship from 'our possession, pra' this aloud in the place where 'ou li4e/ (hank Gou, hea4enl' *ather, for a place to li4e and to be renewed b' sleep+ - ask Gou to set aside m' room Kor portion of this roomL as a place of spiritual safet' for me+ - renounce an' alle1iance 1i4en to false 1ods or spirits b' other occupants+ - renounce an' claim to this room KspaceL b' Satan based on the acti4ities of past or present occupants, includin1 me+ 8n the basis of m' position as a child of =od and Eoint@heir with 0hrist, who has all authorit' in hea4en and on earth, command all e4il spirits to lea4e this place and ne4er return+ - ask Gou, hea4enl' *ather, to station Gour hol', warrin1 an1els to protect me while - li4e here+ -n :esusI mi1ht' name - pra', amen+ 0ontinue to walk in the truth that 'our identit' and sense of worth comes throu1h who 'ou are in 0hrist+ ?enew 'our mind with the truth that 'our acceptance, securit', and si1nificance are in 0hrist alone+ De recommend that 'ou meditate on the followin1 truths dail'+ (r' readin1 the entire list aloud, mornin1 and e4enin1, for the neCt few weeks+ (hink about what 'ou are readin1 and let 'our heart reEoice in the truth+

In Chris! - renounce the lie that - am reEected, unlo4ed, dirt', or shameful, because in 0hrist - am completel' accepted+ =od sa'sQ T - am .is child K:ohn 1/1"L T - am 0hristIs friend K:ohn 1&/1&L T - ha4e been Eustified K?omans &/1L T - am united with the )ord, and - am one spirit with .im K1 0orinthians /1%L T - ha4e been bou1ht with a price/ - belon1 to =od K1 0orinthians /19@"!L T - am a member of 0hristIs bod' K1 0orinthians 1"/"%L T - am a saint, a hol' one K;phesians 1/1L T - ha4e been adopted as =odIs child K;phesians 1/&L T - ha4e direct access to =od throu1h the .ol' Spirit K;phesians "/1$L T - ha4e been redeemed and for1i4en of all m' sins K0olossians 1/12L T - am complete in 0hrist K0olossians "/1!L

- renounce the lie that - am 1uilt', unprotected, alone, or abandoned, because in 0hrist - am totall' secure+ =od sa'sQ T - am free fore4er from condemnation K?omans $/1@"L T - am assured that all thin1s work to1ether for 1ood K?omans $/"$L T - am free from an' condemnin1 char1es a1ainst me K?omans $/#1@#2L T - cannot be separated from the lo4e of =od K?omans $/#&@#9L T - ha4e been established, anointed, and sealed b' =od K" 0orinthians 1/"1@""L T - am confident that the 1ood work =od has be1un in me will be perfected K5hilippians 1/ L T - am a citiJen of hea4en K5hilippians #/"!L T - am hidden with 0hrist in =od K0olossians #/#L T - ha4e not been 1i4en a spirit of fear, but of power, lo4e, and a sound mind K" (imoth' 1/%L T - can find 1race and merc' to help in time of need K.ebrews 2/1 L T - am born of =od and the e4il one cannot touch me

K1 :ohn &/1$L - renounce the lie that - am worthless, inadequate, helpless, or hopeless because in 0hrist - am deepl' si1nificant+ =od sa'sQ T - am the salt of the earth and the li1ht of the world K<atthew &/1#@12L T - am a branch of the true 4ine, :esus, a channel of .is life K:ohn 1&/1,&L T - ha4e been chosen and appointed b' =od to bear fruit K:ohn 1&/1 L T - am a personal, Spirit@empowered witness of 0hristIs KActs 1/$L T - am a temple of =od K1 0orinthians #/1 L T - am a minister of reconciliation for =od K" 0orinthians &/1%@"1L T - am =odIs co@worker K" 0orinthians /1L T - am seated with 0hrist in the hea4enl' realm K;phesians "/ L T - am =odIs workmanship, created for 1ood works K;phesians "/1!L T - ma' approach =od with freedom and confidence

K;phesians #/1"L T - can do all thin1s throu1h 0hrist who stren1thens meFK5hilippians 2/1#L - am not the 1reat 6- Am,7 but b' the 1race of =od - am what - am+ KSee ;Codus #/12H :ohn $/"2,"$,&$H 1 0orinthians 1&/1!+L See*in$ !he For$i,eness o/ O!hers Now that 'ou ha4e found 'our freedom in 0hrist, there ma' be an additional step for 'ou to take+ -n Step # 'ou dealt with the need to for1i4e others who ha4e offended 'ou, which is the resolution a problem between 'ou and =od+ Gou ma' also need to seek the for1i4eness of those 'ou ha4e offended+ Gou need to know if and when to take that further step, and how to do it in a wise and 1odl' manner+ KSee appendiC =+L

A%%endi; A !o !he S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! E, l# !in$ +o#r &riori!ies Dho or what is most important to us becomes that which we worship+ 8ur thou1hts, lo4e, de4otion, trust, adoration, and obedience are directed to this obEect abo4e all others+ 8ur worship ma' end up bein1 directed toward the true =od or turned awa' toward other 61ods+7 De were created to worship the true and li4in1 =od+ -n fact, the *ather seeks those who will worship .im in spirit and in truth K:ohn 2/"#L+ As children of =od, 6we know also that the Son of =od has come and has 1i4en us understandin1, so that we ma' know him who is true+ And we are in him who is trueBe4en in his Son :esus 0hrist+ .e is the true =od and eternal life7 K1 :ohn &/"! N-,L+ (he apostle :ohn follows the abo4e passa1e with a warnin1/ 6)ittle children, 1uard 'oursel4es from idols7 K1 :ohn &/"1L+ An idol is a false 1od, an' obEect of worship other than the true =od+ (hou1h we ma' not bow down to statues, it is eas' for people and thin1s of this world to subtl' become more important to us than our relationship with =od+ (he followin1 pra'er eCpresses the commitment of a heart that chooses to 6worship the )ord 'our =od, and ser4e .im onl'7 K<atthew 2/1!L+

>ear )ord =od, - know how eas' it is to allow other thin1s and other people to become more important to me than Gou+ - also know that this is offensi4e to Gour hol' e'es because Gou ha4e commanded that - 6shall ha4e no other 1ods7 before Gou+ - confess to Gou that - ha4e not lo4ed Gou with all m' heart and soul and mind+ As a result, - ha4e sinned a1ainst Gou, 4iolatin1 the first and 1reatest commandment+ - repent of and turn awa' from this idolatr', and now choose to return to Gou, )ord :esus, as m' first lo4e+ 5lease re4eal to m' mind an' and all idols in m' life+ choose to renounce e4er' idol that would 1i4e Satan an' ri1ht in m' life+ -n the name of :esus, the true =od, amen+ KSee ;Codus "!/#H <atthew ""/#%H?e4elation "/2@&+L (he checklist below ma' help 'ou reco1niJe those areas where thin1s or people ha4e become more important to 'ou than the true =od, :esus 0hrist+ Notice that most Kif not allL of the areas listed below are not e4il in themsel4esH but the' become idols when the' usurp =odIs ri1htful place as )ord of our li4es+ Ambition *ood or an' substance <one' or possessions 0omputers, 1ames, or software

*inancial securit' ?ock stars, media celebrities, or athletes 0hurch acti4ities (,, mo4ies, music, or other media Spirits or ph'sical fitness *un or pleasure <inistr' Appearance or ima1e Dork or school Bus'ness or acti4it' *riends 5ower or control Bo'friend or 1irlfriend 5opularit' or opinion of others Spouse 9nowled1e or bein1 ri1ht 0hildren .obbies 5arents 8thers/

Use the followin1 pra'er to renounce an' areas of idolatr' or wron1 priorit' the .ol' Spirit brin1s to 'our mind+ -n the name of the )ord :esus 0hrist, - confess that ha4e made Kperson or thin1L more important than Gou, and - renounce that false worship+ - choose to worship onl' Gou, )ord+ - ask Gou, *ather, to enable me to keep this area of Kname the idolL in its proper place in m' life+

A%%endi; B !o !he S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! S ! nic Ri!# ls or (e ,y Occ#l! Ac!i,i!y -f 'ou ha4e been in4ol4ed in satanic rituals or hea4' occult acti4it' Kor 'ou suspect it because of blocked memories, se4ere and recurrin1 ni1htmares, or seCual bonda1e or d'sfunctionL, we stron1l' ur1e 'ou to sa' aloud the 6Special ?enunciations for Satanic ?itual -n4ol4ement7 on the neCt pa1e+ ?ead across the pa1e, renouncin1 the first item in the column under 6>omain of >arkness7 and then announcin1 the first truth in the column under 69in1dom of )i1ht+7 0ontinue down the pa1e in that manner+ -n addition to the 6Special ?enunciations7 list, all other satanic rituals, co4enants KpromisesL, and assi1nments must be specificall' renounced as the )ord brin1s them to 'our mind+ Some people who ha4e been subEected to Satanic ?itual Abuse KS?AL de4elop multiple or alter personalities in order to cope with their pain+ -f this is true in 'our case, 'ou need someone who understands spiritual conflict to help 'ou work throu1h this problem+ *or now, walk throu1h the rest of the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist as best 'ou can+ -t is important that 'ou remo4e an' demonic stron1holds in 'our life before tr'in1 to inte1rate the personalities+ ;4er' personalit' that surfaces must be acknowled1ed and 1uided into resol4in1 its issues+ (hen, all true personalities can a1ree to come to1ether in 0hrist+

S%eci l Ren#nci !ions /or S ! nic Ri!# l In,ol,e"en! 1+ - renounce e4er si1nin1 or ha4in1 m' name si1ned o4er to Satan+ - announce that m' name is now written in the )ambIs Book of )ife+ "+ - renounce an' ritual whereb' - was wed to Satan+ - announce that - am part of the bride of 0hrist+ #+ - renounce an' and all co4enants, a1reements, or promises that - made to Satan+ - announce that ha4e made a new co4enant with :esus 0hrist alone that supersedes an' pre4ious a1reements+ 2+ - renounce all satanic assi1nments for m' life, includin1 duties, marria1e, and children+ - announce and commit m'self to know and do onl' the will of =od, and - accept onl' .is 1uidance for m' life+ &+ - renounce all spirit 1uides assi1ned to me+ announce and accept onl' the leadin1 of the .ol' Spirit+ + - renounce an' 1i4in1 of m' blood in the ser4ice of Satan+ - trust onl' in the shed blood of m' )ord, :esus 0hrist+ %+ - renounce e4er eatin1 flesh or drinkin1 blood in satanic worship+ B' faith, - take .ol' 0ommunion, the bod' and blood of the )ord :esus+

$+ - renounce all 1uardians and satanist parents that were assi1ned to me+ - announce that =od is m' hea4enl' *ather and the .ol' Spirit is m' 1uardian b' whom - am sealed+ 9+ - renounce an' baptism whereb' - am identified with Satan+ - announce that - ha4e been baptiJed into 0hrist :esus and m' identit' is now in .im alone+ 1!+ - renounce an' sacrifice made on m' behalf b' which Satan ma' claim ownership of me+ - announce that onl' the sacrifice of 0hrist has an' claim on me+ belon1 to .im+ - ha4e been purchased b' the blood of the )amb+

A%%endi; C !o !he S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! Tr#!h A1o#! +o#r F !her God Sometimes we are 1reatl' hindered from walkin1 b' faith in our *ather =od because of lies we ha4e belie4ed about .im+ De are to ha4e a health' fear of =od Kawe of .is holiness, power, and presenceL, but we no lon1er need to fear punishment from .im+ ?omans $/1& sa's, 6Gou ha4e not recei4ed a spirit of sla4er' leadin1 to fear a1ain, but 'ou ha4e recei4ed a spirit of adoption as sons b' which we cr' out, RAbbaF *atherFI 7 (he followin1 eCercise will help break the chains of those lies and enable 'ou to be1in to eCperience that intimate 6Abba, *ather7 relationship with .im+ Dork 'our wa' down the lists on the neCt pa1e item b' item, left to ri1ht+ Be1in each statement with the headin1 in bold at the top of that list+ ?ead throu1h the lists aloud+ The Tr#!h A1o#! O#r (e ,enly F !her I reno#nce !he lie !h ! "y F !her God isK 1+ distant and uninterested "+ insensiti4e and uncarin1 #+ stern and demandin1 2+ passi4e and cold &+ absent or too bus' for me

+ ne4er satisfied with what - doH impatient, or an1r' %+ mean, cruel, or abusi4e $+ tr'in1 to take all the fun out of life 9+ controllin1 or manipulati4e 1!+ condemnin1 or unfor1i4in1 11+ nit@pickin1, eCactin1, or perfectionistic I =oy/#lly cce%! !he !r#!h !h ! "y F !her God isK 1+ intimate and in4ol4ed K5salm1#9/1@1$L "+ kind and compassionate K5salm 1!#/$@12L #+ acceptin1 and filled with Eo' and lo4e K3eph #/1%H ?omans 1&/%L 2+ warm and affectionate K-saiah 2!/11H .osea 11/#@2L &+ alwa's with me and ea1er to be with me K:eremiah #1/"!H ;Jekiel #2/11@1 H .ebrews 1#/&L + patient and slow to an1er K;Codus #2/ H " 5eter #/9L %+ lo4in1, 1entle, and protecti4e of me K5salm 1$/"H :eremiah #1/#H -saiah 2"/#L

$+ trustworth' and wants to 1i4e me a full lifeH .is will is 1ood, perfect, and acceptable K)amentations #/""@ "#H :ohn 1!/1!H ?omans 1"/1@"L 9+ full of 1race and merc'H .e 1i4es me freedom to fail K)uke 1&/11@1 H .ebrews 2/1&@1 L 1!+ tenderhearted and for1i4in1H .is heart and arms are alwa's open to me K5salm 1#!/1@2H )uke 1&/1%@ "2L 11+ committed to m' 1rowth and proud of me as .is 1rowin1 child K?omans $/"$@"9H " 0orinthians %/2H .ebrews 1"/&@11L I " !he %%le o/ (is eyeG

A%%endi; D !o !he S!e%s Freedo" in Chris! Resol,in$ An;ie!y AnCiet' is different from fear in that it lacks an obEect or adequate cause+ De can become anCious because we are uncertain about a specific outcome or donIt know what is 1oin1 to happen tomorrow+ -t is normal to be concerned about thin1s we 4alueH to not do so would demonstrate a lack of care+ De can be temporaril' anCious about an eCamination to be taken, attendance at a planned function, or the threat of an incomin1 storm+ Such concern is normal, and it should ordinaril' mo4e us to responsible action+ *or some people, howe4er, the anCiet' is more intense and prolon1ed+ (he' stru11le with a lar1e number of worries and spend a lot of time and ener1' doin1 soBand the intensit' and frequenc' of the worr'in1 are alwa's out of proportion to the actual problem+ -f persistent anCiet' is a problem in 'our life, the 6AnCiet' Dorksheet7 can help 'ou to cast all 'our anCieties on 0hrist because .e cares for 'ou K1 5eter &/%L+ Below we walk 'ou throu1h this worksheet step@ b'@step+ 2. &r y. 5ra'er is the first step in castin1 all 'our anCiet' on 0hrist+ ?emember 5aulIs word, 6Be anCious for

nothin1, but in e4er'thin1 b' pra'er and supplication with thanks1i4in1 let 'our requests be made known to =od7 K5hilippians+ 2/ L+ Ask =od to 1uide 'ou with the followin1 pra'er/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - come to Gou as 'our child purchased b' the blood of the )ord :esus 0hrist+ declare m' dependence upon Gou, and - acknowled1e m' need of Gou+ - know that apart from 0hrist - can do nothin1+ Gou know the thou1hts and intentions of m' heart, and Gou know the situation - am in from the be1innin1 to the end+ - feel as thou1h - am double@ minded, and - need 'our peace to 1uard m' heart and m' mind+ - humble m'self before Gou and choose to trust Gou to eCalt me at the proper time in an' wa' Gou choose+ - place m' trust in Gou to suppl' all m' needs accordin1 to Gour riches in 1lor' and to 1uide me into all truth+ - ask for Gour di4ine 1uidance so that - ma' fulfill m' callin1 to li4e a responsible life b' faith in the power of Gour .ol' Spirit+ 6Search me, 8 =od, and know m' heartH tr' me and know m' thou1htsH and see if there be an' hurtful wa' in me, and lead me in the e4erlastin1 wa'7 K5salm 1#9/"#@"2L+ -n :esusI precious name - pra', amen+ 5. Resol,e ny %erson l nd s%iri!# l con/lic!s. (he purpose of the Steps to *reedom in 0hrist is to help 'ou 1et radicall' ri1ht with =od and eliminate an' possible influences of the de4il on 'our mind+

?emember, that 6the Spirit clearl' sa's that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow decei4in1 spirits and thin1s tau1ht b' demons7 K1 (imoth' 2/1 N-,L+ Gou will be a double@minded person if 'ou pa' attention to a decei4in1 spirit+ Gou need to ha4e the presence of =od in order to ha4e 6the peace of =od, which surpasses all comprehension, OthatP will 1uard 'our hearts and 'our minds in 0hrist :esus7 K5hilippians 2/%L+ 8. S! !e !he %ro1le". A problem well@stated is half@sol4ed+ -n an anCious state of mind, 'ou t'picall' canIt see the forest for the trees+ 5ut the problem in perspecti4e/ Dill it matter for eternit'M =enerall' speakin1, the process of worr'in1 takes a 1reater toll on people than the ne1ati4e consequences of what the' ha4e been worr'in1 about+ <an' anCious people find tremendous relief b' simpl' ha4in1 their problems clarified and put into perspecti4e+ 9. Di,ide !he / c!s /ro" !he ss#"%!ions. 5eople ma' be fearful of the facts, but not anCious+ *ear has an obEect+ KDeIll be dealin1 with this in the 6Steps to 84ercomin1 5hobias7+L But we become anCious because we donIt know what is 1oin1 to happen tomorrow+ Since we donIt know, we make assumptionsBand a peculiar trait of the mind is its tendenc' to assume the worst+ -f 'ou accept 'our

mindIs assumption as truth, this will dri4e 'ou to the outer limits of anCiet'+ And if 'ou are prideful and presumptuous about tomorrow, 'ou will end up sufferin1 some ne1ati4e consequences+ 6B' pride comes nothin1 but strife7 K5ro4erbs 1#/1! N9:,L+ (herefore, as best as possible, measure 'our assumptions a1ainst the truth+ :. De!er"ine )h ! yo# h ,e !he ri$h! or 1ili!y !o con!rol. Gou are responsible onl' for that which 'ou ha4e the ri1ht and abilit' to control+ Gou are not responsible for that which 'ou donIt+ Gour sense of worth is, in realit', tied onl' to that for which 'ou are responsible+ -f 'ou arenIt li4in1 a responsible life, 'ou should feel anCiousF >onIt tr' to cast 'our responsibilit' onto 0hristB.e will throw it back+ But do cast 'our anCiet' onto .im, because .is inte1rit' is at stake in meetin1 'our needs if 'ou are li4in1 a responsible and ri1hteous life+ >. Lis! e,ery!hin$ rel !ed !o !he si!# !ion !h ! is yo#r res%onsi1ili!y. 0ommit 'ourself to be a responsible person and fulfill 'our callin1 and obli1ations in life+ @. Res! in !he !r#!h !h ! e,ery!hin$ else is God-s res%onsi1ili!y. Gour onl' remainin1 responsibilit' is to continue to pra' and focus on the truth accordin1 to 5hilippians

2/ @$+ An' remainin1 anCiet' 'our ha4e probabl' comes from 'our assumin1 responsibilities that =od ne4er intended 'ou to ha4e+ An;ie!y Wor*shee! 1+ =o to =od in pra'er+ "+ ?esol4e all known personal and spiritual conflicts+ #+ State the problem+ 2+ >i4ide the facts from 'our assumptions+ a+ )ist the facts relatin1 to the situation+ b+ )ist 'our assumptions relatin1 to the situation+ c+ ,erif' the abo4e assumptionsH that is, measure them a1ainst the truth+ &+ >etermine what 'ou ha4e the ri1ht or abilit' to control+ a+ *i1ure out what 'ou can control as a matter of personal responsibilit'+ b+ *i1ure out what 'ou ha4e no ri1ht or abilit' to control+ + )ist e4er'thin1 related to the situation that is 'our responsibilit'+

%+ -f 'ou ha4e fulfilled 'our responsibilit', the rest is =odIs responsibilit', eCcept for 'ou to continue to walk with =od in pra'er accordin1 to 5hilippians 2/ @$+

A%%endi; E !o !he S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! S!e%s !o O,erco"in$ &ho1i s -f 'ou ha4e successfull' resol4ed 'our personal and spiritual conflicts b' submittin1 to =od and resistin1 the de4il, then 'ou are read' to anal'Je 'our fears and work out a responsible course of action+ Below we take 'ou step@b'@step throu1h the 65hobia *inder7+ 1+ Anal'Je 'our fear under =odIs authorit' and 1uidance+ Be1in b' pra'in1 the followin1 pra'er aloud/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - come to Gou as Gour child+ put m'self under Gour protecti4e care and acknowled1e that Gou are the onl' le1itimate obEect of fear in m' life+ - confess that - ha4e been fearful and anCious because of m' lack of trust and m' unbelief+ ha4e not alwa's li4ed b' faith in Gou, and too often ha4e relied on m' own stren1th and resources+ - thank Gou that - am for1i4en in 0hrist+ - choose to belie4e the truth that Gou ha4e not 1i4en me 6a spirit of fear, but of power and of lo4e and of a sound mind7 K" (imoth' 1/% N9:,L+ (herefore renounce an' spirit of fear+ - ask Gou to re4eal to m' mind all the fears that ha4e been controllin1 me+ Show me how - ha4e become fearful, and show me the lies ha4e belie4ed+ - desire to li4e a responsible life in the power of Gour .ol' Spirit+ Show me how these fears ha4e kept me from doin1 that+ - ask this so that - can

confess, renounce, and o4ercome e4er' fear b' faith in Gou+ -n :esusI name - pra', amen+ (he followin1 list ma' help 'ou reco1niJe some of the fears that ha4e been hinderin1 'our walk of faith+ 8n a separate sheet, write down the ones that appl' to 'ou as well as an' others not on the list that the Spirit of =od has re4ealed to 'ou+ As 'ou pra'erfull' recall 'our past, write a brief description of what happened Kand whenL to tri11er that fear+ *ear of Satan *ear of death *ear of not bein1 lo4ed b' =od *ear of ne4er bein1 lo4ed *ear of not bein1 able to lo4e others *ear of marria1e *ear of ne4er 1ettin1 married *ear of di4orce *ear of ne4er ha4in1 children *ear of reEection b' people *ear of disappro4al

*ear of embarrassment *ear of confrontation *ear of failure *ear of financial problems *ear of the future *ear of the death of a lo4ed one *ear of 1oin1 craJ' *ear of bein1 a hopeless case *ear of bein1 or becomin1 homoseCual *ear of bein1 4ictimiJed b' crime *ear of ha4in1 committed the unpardonable sin *ear of specific people, animals, or obEects 8ther specific fears the )ord brin1s to mind Klists hereL/

(he root of an' phobia is a belief that is not based in truth+ (hese false beliefs need to be rooted out and replaced b' the truth of =odIs Dord+ (ake as much

time in pra'er as 'ou need to discern these lies, because renouncin1 them and choosin1 the truth is a critical step toward 1ainin1 and maintainin1 'our freedom in 0hrist+ Gou ha4e to know and choose to belie4e the truth in order for it to set 'ou free+ Drite down the lies 'ou ha4e belie4ed for e4er' fear, and then write down the correspondin1 truth from the Dord of =od+ "+ >etermine the wa's 'ou ha4e been li4in1 under the control of fear rather than li4in1 b' faith in =od+ (he neCt step is to determine how fear has pre4ented 'ou from li4in1 a responsible life, compelled 'ou to do that which is irresponsible, or compromised 'our 0hristian witness+ After 'ou ha4e 1ained the necessar' insi1hts into 'our fear, it is time to eCperience =odIs cleansin1 throu1h confession and repentance K1 :ohn 1/9H 5ro4erbs "$/1#L+ 0onfession is a1reein1 with =od that what 'ou did was sinful+ ?epentance is the choice to turn awa' from sin and walk b' faith in =od+ 5ra' the followin1 pra'er for each of the controllin1 fears that 'ou ha4e anal'Jed abo4e/ >ear )ord, - confess and repent of the fear of Kname the fearL - ha4e belie4ed Kstate the lieL+ - renounce that lie, and - choose to belie4e the truth, which is Kstate the truthL+ - also confess an' and all wa's this fear has resulted in m' li4in1 irresponsibl', or compromisin1 m' witness for 0hrist Kname these wa's specificall'L+ - now choose to li4e b' faith in Gou, )ord, belie4in1

Gour promise that Gou will protect me and meet all m' needs as - li4e b' faith in Gou K5salm "%/1H <atthew /##@#2L+ -n :esusI trustworth' name - pra', amen+ After workin1 throu1h e4er' fear the )ord has re4ealed to 'ou Kincludin1 their accompan'in1 lies and sinful beha4iorL, then pra' the followin1 pra'er/ >ear hea4enl' *ather, - thank Gou that Gou are indeed trustworth'+ - choose to belie4e Gou, e4en when m' feelin1s and circumstances tell me to fear+ Gou ha4e told me not to fear, for Gou are with meH to not anCiousl' look about me, for Gou are m' =od+ Gou will stren1then me, help me, and surel' uphold me with Gour ri1hteous ri1ht hand K-saiah 21/1!L+ #+ 5ra'erfull' work out a plan of responsible beha4ior+ (he neCt step is to face the fear and pra'erfull' work out a plan to o4ercome it+ Someone once said, 6>o the thin1 'ou fear the most and the death of fear is certain+7 *ear is like a mira1e in the desert+ -t seems so real until 'ou mo4e toward itBbut then it disappears into thin air+ But as lon1 as we back awa' from fear, it will haunt us and 1row in siJe until it becomes a 1iant in our life+ 2+ >etermine in ad4ance what 'our response will be to an' fear obEect+ (he fear of =od is the one fear that can dispel all other fears, because =od rules supreme o4er e4er' other fear obEect, includin1 Satan+ ;4en thou1h 6'our enem'

the de4il prowls around like a roarin1 lion lookin1 for someone to de4our7 K1 5eter &/$ N-,L, he has been defeated b' :esus 0hrist+ 6.a4in1 disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphin1 o4er them b' the cross7 K0olossians "/1& N-,L+ (he presence of an' fear obEect should prompt us to focus on =od, who is both omnipresent Kalwa's presentL and omnipotent Kall@powerfulL+ (o worship =od is to acknowled1e and ascribe to .im .is di4ine attributes+ (his keeps fresh in our minds the truth that our lo4in1 hea4enl' *ather is alwa's with us and is more powerful than an' enem' or circumstance+ &+ 0ommit 'ourself to carr' out 'our plan of action in the power of the .ol' Spirit+ ?emember, 'ou are ne4er alone in the battle+ 6-t is =od who is at work in 'ou, both to will and to work for .is 1ood pleasure7 K5hilippians "/1#L+ &ho1i Finder 1+ Anal'Je 'our fear under =odIs authorit' and 1uidance+ a+ -dentif' all fear obEects Kthat is, what 'ou are afraid ofL+ b+ >etermine when 'ou first eCperienced the fear+

c+ Dhat e4ents preceded the first eCperienceM d+ >etermine the lies behind each phobia+ "+ >etermine the wa's 'ou ha4e been li4in1 under the control of fear rather than li4in1 b' faith in =od+ a+ .ow has fearB 1L pre4ented 'ou from doin1 what is ri1ht and responsibleM "L compelled 'ou to do what is wron1 and irresponsibleM #L prompted 'ou to compromise 'our witness for 0hristM b+ 0onfess an' acti4e or passi4e wa' in which 'ou ha4e allowed fear to control 'our life+ c+ 0ommit 'ourself to =od to li4e a ri1hteous and responsible life+ #+ 5ra'erfull' work out a plan of responsible beha4ior+ 2+ >etermine in ad4ance what 'our response will be to an' fear obEect+ &+ 0ommit 'ourself to carr' out 'our plan of action in the power of the .ol' Spirit+

A%%endi; F !o !he S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! De lin$ )i!h &re=#dice nd Bi$o!ry 5ride is the ori1inal sin of )ucifer+ -t sets one person or 1roup a1ainst another+ SatanIs strate1' is alwa's to di4ide and conquer, but =od has 1i4en us a ministr' of reconciliation K" 0orinthians &/19L+ 0onsider for a moment the work of 0hrist in breakin1 down the lon1@ standin1 barrier of racial preEudice between :ew and =entile/ O0hristP is our peace, who has made the two one and has destro'ed the barrier, the di4idin1 wall of hostilit', b' abolishin1 in his flesh the law with its commandments and re1ulations+ .is purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus makin1 peace, and in this one bod' to reconcile both of them to =od throu1h the cross, b' which he put to death their hostilit'+ .e came and preached peace to 'ou who were far awa' and peace to those who were near+ *or throu1h him we both ha4e access to the *ather b' one Spirit K;phesians "/12@1$ N-,L+ <an' times we den' that there is preEudice or bi1otr' in our hearts, 'et 6nothin1 in all creation is hidden from =odIs si1ht+ ;4er'thin1 is unco4ered and laid bare before the e'es of him to whom we must 1i4e account7 K.ebrews 2/1# N-,L+ (he followin1 is a pra'er askin1 =od to shine .is li1ht upon 'our heart and re4eal an' area of proud preEudice+

>ear hea4enl' *ather, - know that Gou lo4e all people equall' and that Gou do not show fa4oritism+ Gou accept people from e4er' nation who fear Gou and do what is ri1ht+ Gou do not Eud1e them based on skin color, race, economic standin1, ethnic back1round, 1ender, denominational preference, or an' other worldl' matter+ - confess that - ha4e too often preEud1ed others or re1arded m'self superior+ - ha4e not alwa's been a minister of reconciliation, but ha4e been a proud a1ent of di4ision throu1h m' attitudes, words, and deeds+ - repent of all hateful bi1otr' and proud preEudice, and - ask Gou, )ord, to now re4eal to m' mind all the specific wa's in which this form of pride has corrupted m' heart and mind+ -n :esusI name, amen+ KSee Acts 1!/#2H " 0orinthians &/1 +L *or each area of preEudice, superiorit', or bi1otr' that the )ord brin1s to mind, pra' the followin1 pra'er aloud from 'our heart/ - confess and renounce the prideful sin of preEudice a1ainst Kname the 1roupL+ - thank Gou for Gour for1i4eness, )ord, and ask now that Gou would chan1e m' heart and make me a lo4in1 a1ent of reconciliation with Kname the 1roupL+ -n :esusI name, amen+

A%%endi; G !o !he S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! See*in$ !he For$i,eness o/ O!hers -f 'ou brin1 'our 1ift to the altar, and there remember that 'our brother has somethin1 a1ainst 'ou, lea4e 'our 1ift there before the altar, and 1o 'our wa'+ *irst be reconciled to 'our brother, and then come and offer 'our 1ift+ A1ree with 'our ad4ersar' quickl', while 'ou are on the wa' with him, lest 'our ad4ersar' deli4er 'ou to the Eud1e, the Eud1e hand 'ou o4er to the officer, and 'ou are thrown into prison+ Assuredl', - sa' to 'ou, 'ou will b' no means 1et out of there till 'ou ha4e paid the last penn' K<atthew &/"#@" N9:,L+ The Mo!i, !ion /or See*in$ For$i,eness <atthew &/"#@" is the ke' passa1e on seekin1 for1i4eness+ Se4eral points in these 4erses bear emphasiJin1+ (he worshiper comin1 before =od to offer a 1ift remembers that someone has somethin1 a1ainst him+ (he .ol' Spirit is the 8ne who brin1s to his or her mind the wron1 that was done+ 8nl' the actions which ha4e hurt other people need to be confessed to them+ -f 'ou ha4e had Eealous, lustful, or an1r' thou1hts toward others, and the' donIt know about it, these are to be confessed to =od alone+ An eCception to this principle occurs when restitution needs to be made+ -f 'ou stole or broke somethin1, dama1ed someoneIs reputation, and so on, 'ou need

to 1o to that person and make it ri1ht, e4en if he or she is unaware of what 'ou did+ The &rocess o/ See*in$ For$i,eness 1+ Drite out what 'ou did wron1 and wh' 'ou did it+ "+ <ake sure 'ou ha4e alread' for1i4en the offended person for whate4er he or she ma' ha4e done to 'ou+ #+ (hink throu1h eCactl' how 'ou will ask the person to for1i4e 'ou+ Be sure to/ a+ )abel 'our action as 6wron1+7 b+ Be specific and admit what 'ou did+ c+ <ake no defenses or eCcuses+ d+ >o not blame the other person, and do not eCpect or demand that he or she ask for 'our for1i4eness+ e+ Gour confession should lead to the direct question/ 6Dill 'ou for1i4e meM7 2+ Seek the ri1ht place and the ri1ht time to approach the offended person+ &+ Ask for for1i4eness in person with an'one with whom 'ou can talk face@to@face, with the followin1 eCception/ >o not 1o alone when 'our safet' is in dan1er+

+ ;Ccept where no other means of communication is possible, do not write a letter because a letter can be 4er' easil' misread or misunderstoodH a letter can be read b' the wron1 people Kthose ha4in1 nothin1 to do with the offense or the confessionLH a letter can be kept when it should ha4e been destro'ed+ %+ 8nce 'ou sincerel' seek for1i4eness, 'ou are free Bwhether the other person for1i4es 'ou or not K?omans 1"/1$L+ $+ After seekin1 for1i4eness, fellowship with =od in worship K<atthew &/"2L+

No!es
An An$er E%ide"ic 1+ :ohn <arks, 6(he American Unci4il Dars,7 U+S+ News 8nline, April "", 199 , p+ "+ "+ National 0enter for ,ictims of 0rime Deb site, 6Statistics/ Dorkplace ,iolence,7 199$, p+1+ U?)/ http/[[www+nc4c+or1[stats[w4+htm\+ #+ 0+ )eslie 0harles, Dh' -s ;4er'one So 0rank'M KNew Gork/ .'perion, 1999L+ 2+ Anita BruJJese, 6Dh' are people so crank' at workM7 Ashe4ille 0itiJen@(imes, :ul' "#, "!!!, p+ =1+ &+ :ul' 1999 =allup 5oll, as cited in Access Atlanta Deb site, U?)/ http/[[www+accessatlanta+com\+ + American <edical Association Deb site, 6*acts about *amil' ,iolence,7 p+ 1+ U?)/ http/[[www+ama@ assn+or1\+ %+ A<A Deb site, p+ "+ $+ A<A Deb site, p+ #+ 9+ 9aren S+ 5eterson, 6Dh' ;4er'one -s So Short@ (empered,7 USA (oda', :ul' 1$, "!!!, p+ "A+

1!+ 6>id Sprin1er Show )ead to Sla'in1M7 Ashe4ille 0itiJen@(imes, :ul' "$, "!!!, p+ A#+ 11+ 5eterson, p+ 1A+ 1"+ 5eterson, p+ 1A+ 1#+ Alan Sipress, 6?a1in1 >ri4ers ,iolate *uneral 0orte1es,7 Dashin1ton 5ost, :ul' 9, "!!!+ 12+ Sipress+ Ch %!er 23An$er3A M !!er o/ Li/e nd De !h 1+ S+-+ <c<illen, <+>+, None of (hese >iseases K<inneapolis/ Successful )i4in1, -nc+, 19 #L, p+ 9+ "+ <e'er *riedman and ?a' ?osenman, ('pe A Beha4ior and Gour .eart KNew Gork/ 9nopf, 19%2L+ #+ ?edford and ,ir1inia Dilliams, An1er 9ills KNew Gork/ .arper 5erennial, 199#L+ Ch %!er 53Go ls nd Desires 1+ :+?+ A4erill, 6Studies of An1er and A11ression/ -mplications for (heories of ;motion,7 American 5s'cholo1ist #$ K19$#L/ pp+ 112&@11 !+ "+ D+ >o'le =entr', 5h+>+, An1er@*ree KNew Gork/ Uuill, 1999L, p+ 112+

#+ >a4id =+ Benner, ed+, Baker ;nc'clopedia of 5s'cholo1' K=rand ?apids, <-/ Baker Book .ouse, 199!L, pp+ &$@&9+ 2+ D+ ;+ ,ine, An ;Cpositor' >ictionar' of New (estament Dords K8ld (appan, N:/ *lemin1 .+ ?e4ell 0ompan', 19 L, pp+ &&@& + &+ ,ine, p+ & + + Bill =illham, )ifetime =uarantee K;u1ene, 8?/ .ar4est .ouse, 199#L, p+ #$ %+ =illham, pp+ "%@##+ $+ (o see how this relates to anCiet' disorders, see our book *reedom *rom *ear K;u1ene, 8?/ .ar4est .ouse, 1999L+ (o see how this relates to the problem of depression, see NeilIs book *indin1 .ope A1ain K,entura, 0A/ ?e1al BooksL, coauthored with .al Baumchen+ 9+ Neil (+ Anderson, ,ictor' 84er the >arkness, "nd ed+ K,entura, 0A/ ?e1al Books, "!!!L, pp+ 1#1@1#"+ 1!+ Anderson, ,ictor' 84er the >arkness, p+ 1#"+ 11+ *rom the poem 6>isappointmentB.is Appointment,7 b' ;dith )illian Goun1, date and publisher unknown+

Ch %!er 83Be An$ry 1#! Don-! Sin 1+ 0+S+ )ewis, )etters to <alcolm, 0hiefl' on 5ra'er KSan >ie1o, 0A/ .ar4est Books, 19$#L, p+ 9%+ "+ )es 0arter and *rank <inirth, (he An1er Dorkbook KNash4ille, (N/ (homas Nelson, -nc+, 199#L, p+ #2+ #+ =ar' 0hapman, (he 8ther Side of )o4e K0hica1o/ <ood' 5ress 1999L, pp+ 1$@19+ Ch %!er 93Men! l S!ron$holds 1+ Ste4e <c,e', =race Dalk K;u1ene, 8?/ .ar4est .ouse 5ublishers, 199&L, p+ "$+ "+ :ames Stron1, Stron1Is ;Chausti4e 0oncordance of the Bible KNash4ille, (N/ Abin1don, 19$!L+ #+ Stron1+ 2+ Neil Anderson and <ike and :ulia Uuarles, *reedom from Addiction K,entura, 0A/ ?e1al Books, 199 L, pp+ 2!,#9+ Used b' 5ermission+ &+ (aken from NeilIs book Dho - Am in 0hrist K,entura, 0A/ ?e1al Books, "!!1L+ Used b' permission+ Ch %!er :3Flesh & !!erns o/ An$er 1+ Dilliam ?+ <ood', (he )ife of >wi1ht )+ <ood'

K<urfreesboro, (N/ Sword of the )ord 5ublishers, n+d+L, pp+ 11!@111+ "+ ?on and 5at 5otter@;fron, )ettin1 =o of An1er K8akland, 0A/ New .arbin1er 5ublications, -nc+, 199&L, p+ , emphasis added+ #+ 9en ,o1es and ?on Braund, Understandin1 .ow 8thers <isunderstand Gou K0hica1o/ <ood' 5ress, 199!L, pp+ #$@21+ 2+ ,o1es and Braund, p+ %1+ &+ 5otter@;fron, p+ 1!2+ + 5otter@;fron, p+ ##+ %+ )es 0arter and *rank <inirth, (he An1er Dorkbook KNash4ille, (N/ (homas Nelson, -nc+, 199#L, p+ #"+ $+ )ee )e*ebre, 6(he Nature of the *lesh,7 part 1, (he =race )ife 0onference KAurora, 08/ 0ross)ife, 199%L, cassette tape+ 9+ A+D+ (oJer, (he 5ursuit of =od K0amp .ill, 5A/ 0hristian 5ublications, -nc+, 19$"L, pp+ "9@#!+ Ch %!er >3A" ?in$ Gr ce 1+ *rom Bill .'belsIs 4ideo Becomin1 a 0onta1ious 0hristian KDillow 0reek Association, 199&L+

"+ .enri Nouwen, (he ?eturn of the 5rodi1al Son KNew Gork/ >oubleda', 1992L, pp+ 11"@11#+ #+ :+-+ 5acker, 9nowin1 =od K>owners =ro4e, -)/ -nter,arsit' 5ress, 19%#L, p+ 1"!+ Ch %!er @3Gr ce /or Li/e 1+ >a4id 0+ Needham, Ali4e for the *irst (ime KSisters, 8?/ <ultnomah 5ublishers, -nc+, 199&L, p+ 121+ "+ *rom Dalt <ueller, Understandin1 (oda'Is Gouth 0ulture KDheaton, -)/ ('ndale .ouse 5ublishers, 1992L, p+ #1 + #+ :+-+ 5acker, 9nowin1 =od K>owners =ro4e, -)/ -nter,arsit' 5ress, 19%#L, p+ 1"!+ Ch %!er A3The Need !o For$i,e 1+ A 4ersion of a stor' first published in Neil Anderson and ?ich <iller, )eadin1 (eens to *reedom in 0hrist K,entura, 0A/ =ospel )i1ht 5ublishers, 199%L, pp+ "!#@ "!2+ Used b' 5ermission+ "+ :ames Stron1, Stron1Is ;Chausti4e 0oncordance of the Bible KNash4ille, (N/ Abin1don, 19$!L+ #+ D+;+ ,ine, ,ineIs ;Cpositor' >ictionar' of 8ld and New (estament Dords K-owa *alls, -A/ Dorld Bible

5ublishers, 19$1L, p+ "&%+ 2+ Stron1+ &+ *rederick Buechner, Dishful (hinkin1, re4+ ed+ KSan *rancisco/ .arper San *rancisco, 199#L, p+ "+ + <arie ?a11hianti, 6;4er' >a' - .a4e to *or1i4e A1ain,7 5arade <a1aJine, April "#, "!!!, p+ + %+ 6(he Shots Still ;cho,7 5eople <a1aJine, No4ember $, 1999, p+ "+ $+ 6(he Shots,7 p+ !+ 9+ 6(he Shots+7 1!+ (om Bowers, 6Someone - .ad to *or1i4e,7 =uideposts, :anuar', 1999, p+ %+ 11+ Bowers, p+ 9+ 1"+ Bowers, p+ 9+ 1#+ (here are man' worthwhile books to read on the subEect of the problem of sufferin1 and e4il in the world+ De would particularl' like to recommend 5hilip Gance'Is books Dhere -s =od Dhen -t .urtsM and >isappointment with =od+ 12+ Adapted from a document recei4ed from =race <inistries -nternational+ Author unknown+

Ch %!er C3For$i,in$ /ro" !he (e r! 1+ 0harles Stanle', (he =ift of *or1i4eness KNash4ille, (N/ (homas Nelson, -nc+, 1991L, p+ 1 + "+ Stanle', p+ 19&+ #+ <arie ?a11hianti, 6;4er' >a' - .a4e to *or1i4e A1ain,7 5arade, April "#, "!!!, p+ + ?eprinted with permission from 5arade, "!!!+ 2+ Author unknown K.one'comb 5ublishin1, BoC 12#2, (a'lors, S0 "9 $%L+ Ch %!er 2F3I!-s M d4 M d World

1+ ASA 0onnections, September[8ctober "!!!, ad4ertisement on inside front co4er+ "+ ASA 0onnections, pp+ "!@"1+ #+ Adult suicide rates in rural areas eCceed those in urban locales, accordin1 to a 199& Kthe most recent a4ailableL stud' cited in the Ashe4ille 0itiJen@(imes, 8ctober 1&, "!!!, p+ A"+ (he suicide rate per 1!!,!!! people in rural areas was 1%+92, contrasted with a rate of 12+91 in urban areas+ Accordin1 to the same sur4e', the suicide rate in the western U+S+ was nearl' &! percent hi1her than in the Northeast+ 2+ <ark Bubeck, (he Ad4ersar' K0hica1o/ <ood' 5ress, 19%&L, pp+ 2 @2%+

&+ 0+ )eslie 0harles, Dh' -s ;4er'one So 0rank'M KNew Gork/ .'perion, 1999L, p+ ""9+ + 0harles, p+ "!@"1+ %+ A+D+ (oJer, (he 5ursuit of =od K0amp .ill, 5A/ 0hristian 5ublications, -nc+, 19$"L, p+ "1@""+ $+ 5hilip Gance', Dhere -s =od Dhen -t .urtsM, first part of double 4olume with >isappointment with =od K=rand ?apids, <-/ 3onder4an 5ublishin1 .ouse, 199 L, p+ 19+ 9+ Gance', preface p+ "+ 1!+ 0harles, Dh' -s ;4er'one So 0rank'M, p+ !+ 11+ ;lene 0+ Brown, 6Dh' DeIre All So 0rank',7 >ail' )ocal News O5hiladelphia, 5enns'l4aniaP, :anuar' 11, "!!!, p+ >1+ 1"+ Brown, p+ >1 Ch %!er 223A &e ce o/ +o#r Mind 1+ >onald S+ Dhitne', Spiritual >isciplines for the 0hristian )ife K0olorado Sprin1s, 08/ Na45ress, 1991L, p+ 192+ "+ ?ichard :+ *oster, 0elebration of >iscipline

K5hiladelphia/ .arper Y ?ow, 19$$L, p+ 1! + #+ *rom )eonard ?a4enhill, 6Dorship,7 an audiotape messa1e 1i4en at the -nn of )ast ?esort, *ranklin, N0+ Ch %!er 253Connec!in$ !o !he &o)er 1+ Bill =illham, )ifetime =uarantee K;u1ene, 8?/ .ar4est .ouse 5ublishers, 199#L, pp+ 1!#@1!2+ "+ A+D+ (oJer, .ow to Be *illed with the .ol' Spirit K0amp .ill, 5A/ 0hristian 5ublications, n+d+L, p+ #9+ #+ (imoth' Beou1her and )'le >orsett, Accounts of a 0ampus ?e4i4al KDheaton, -)/ .arold Shaw 5ublishers, 199&L, pp+ 9&@9 + 2+ Andrew <urra', (he Belie4erIs *ull Blessin1 of 5entecost K<inneapolis/ Bethan' .ouse 5ublishers, 19$2L, pp+ $9@9!+ Ch %!er 283Bre *in$ S!ron$holds o/ An$er4 & r! One 1+ :ean 5eerenboom, 6Dhen An1er Strikes,7 Ashe4ille 0itiJen@(imes, Au1ust "!, "!!!, p+ B#+ "+ 5eerenboom, citin1 Sue 9ell'@9ohlman, A dAN=;?ous 0hoiceM .elp 9ids <ake =ood >ecisions (hrou1h An1er 0ontrol K=reen Ba', D-/ -rish ;'es 5ublishin1, "!!!L+

Ch %!er 293Bre *in$ S!ron$holds o/ An$er4 & r! T)o 1+ (he Scripture 4erses quoted in this pra'er are =alatians &/"2H =alatians /12H and 0olossians "/1&+ S!e%s !o Freedo" in Chris! 1+ (aken from Neil (+ Anderson, )i4in1 *ree in 0hrist K,entura, 0A/ =ospel )i1ht 5ublications, 199&L+ Used b' 5ermission+ Books and ?esources from *reedom in 0hrist <inistries and Neil (+ Anderson 0ore <essa1e and ?esources T (he Bonda1e Breaker K.ar4est .ouseL+ Stud' 1uide and audiobook also a4ailable+ (his book eCplains spiritual warfare, what 'our protection is, wa's that 'ou are 4ulnerable, and how 'ou can li4e a liberated life in 0hrist+ Dell o4er one million copies in print+ T ,ictor' 84er the >arkness with stud' 1uide, audio book, and 4ideos K?e1al BooksL+ ;Cplains who 'ou are in 0hrist, how 'ou walk b' faith, how 'our mind and emotions function, and how to relate to one another in 0hrist+ Dell o4er one million copies in print+ T Breakin1 (hrou1h to Spiritual <aturit' K?e1al BooksL+ A curriculum for teachin1 the basic messa1e

of *reedom in 0hrist <inistries+ T >iscipleship 0ounselin1 with 4ideos K?e1al BooksL+ >iscipleship and counselin1 are inte1rated practicall' with theolo1' and ps'cholo1' to help 0hristians resol4e personal and spiritual conflicts throu1h repentance+ T Steps to *reedom in 0hrist and interacti4e 4ideo K?e1al BooksL+ (his discipleship counselin1 tool helps 0hristians resol4e their personal and spiritual conflicts+ (he Bonda1e Breaker Series K.ar4est .ouseL+ (ruth from the Dord of =od on specific issuesBto brin1 'ou help and freedom in 'our life+ T 5ra'in1 b' the 5ower of the Spirit T *indin1 =odIs Dill in Spirituall' >ecepti4e (imes T *indin1 *reedom in a SeC@8bsessed Dorld ?esources on Specific -ssues T =ettin1 An1er Under 0ontrol with ?ich <iller K.ar4est .ouseL+ ;Cposes the basis for an1er and shows how 'ou can control it+ T *reedom from *ear with ?ich <iller K.ar4est .ouseL+ >iscusses fear, anCiet', and anCiet' disorders and re4eals how 'ou can be free from them+

T >ail' in 0hrist K.ar4est .ouseL+ (his popular dail' de4otional will encoura1e, moti4ate, and challen1e 'ou to eCperience the realit' of 0hrist in 'ou+ T Breakin1 the Bonda1e of )e1alism with ?ich <iller and 5aul (ra4is K.ar4est .ouseL+ An eCposure and eCplanation of le1alism, the 1uilt and shame it brin1s, and how 'ou can o4ercome it+ T =odIs 5ower at Dork in Gou with >r+ ?obert Sauc' K.ar4est .ouseL+ A thorou1h anal'sis of sanctification, alon1 with practical instruction on how 'ou can 1row in 0hrist+ T A Da' of ;scape K.ar4est .ouseL+ ;Cposes the bonda1e of seCual stron1holds and shows 'ou how the' can be torn down in 0hrist+ T (he Seduction of 8ur 0hildren with Ste4e ?usso K.ar4est .ouseL+ ?e4eals what teena1ers are eCperiencin1 and how 'ou as a parent can be equipped to help them+ T Dho - Am in 0hrist K?e1al BooksL+ (hirt'@siC short chapters on who 'ou are in 0hrist and how .e meets 'our deepest needs+ T *reedom from Addiction with <ike Uuarles K?e1al BooksL+ T 8ne >a' at a (ime with <ike Uuarles K?e1al BooksL+

T (he 0hrist@0entered <arria1e with >r+ 0harles <'lander K?e1al BooksL+ T (he Spiritual 5rotection of 8ur 0hildren with 5eter and Sue ,ander .ook K?e1al BooksL+ T )eadin1 (eens to *reedom in 0hrist with ?ich <iller K?e1al BooksL+ T *indin1 .ope A1ain with .al Baumchen K?e1al BooksL+ >epression and how to o4ercome it+ T ?eleased from Bonda1e with :ud' 9in1 and >r+ *ernando =arJon K(homas NelsonL+ T *reedom in 0hrist Bible K3onder4anL+ A one@'ear discipleship stud' with notes in the Bible+ T Blessed Are the 5eacemakers with >r+ 0harles <'lander K?e1al BooksL+ T A Biblical =uide to Alternati4e <edicine with >r+ <ichael :acobson K?e1al BooksL+ T Settin1 Gour 0hurch *ree with >r+ 0harles <'lander K?e1al BooksL+ T 0hrist@0entered (herap' with >r+ (err' and :ulie 3uehlke K3onder4anL+ (he ,ictor' 84er the >arkness Series K?e1al BooksL

T 84ercomin1 a Ne1ati4e Self@-ma1e with >a4e 5ark T 84ercomin1 Addicti4e Beha4ior with <ike Uuarles T 84ercomin1 >oubt T 84ercomin1 >epression Gouth Books T (he Bonda1e Breaker Gouth ;dition with >a4e 5ark K.ar4est .ouseL T Stompin1 8ut the >arkness with >a4e 5ark K?e1al BooksL T Stompin1 8ut *ear with >a4e 5ark and ?ich <iller K.ar4est .ouseL T Stompin1 8ut >epression with >a4e 5ark K?e1al BooksL T ?adical -ma1e with >r+ ?obert Sauc' and >a4e 5ark T with >r+ ?obert Sauc' and >a4e 5arkSold 8ut for =od T .i1her =round with >r+ ?obert Sauc' and >a4e 5ark T ;Ctreme *aith with >a4e 5ark K.ar4est .ouseL T ?ealit' 0heck with ?ich <iller K.ar4est .ouseL

T Awesome =od with ?ich <iller K.ar4est .ouseL T with >a4e 5ark?eal )ife T Ultimate )o4e with >a4e 5ark T ?i1hteous 5ursuit with >a4e 5ark K.ar4est .ouseL T 5urit' Under 5ressure with >a4e 5ark K.ar4est .ouseL 0ontact information for *reedom in 0hrist <inistries/ 9!&1 ;Cecuti4e 5ark >ri4e, Suite &!# 9noC4ille, (N #%9"# (elephone/ K$ &L #2"@2!!! ;@mail/ info]ficm+or1 Deb site/ www+ficm+or1 A4ailable directl' from *reedom in 0hrist <inistries onl'+