FIRST SESSION/ FIRST STAGE

It is important to hold a meaningful First Session as it sets as a foundation for future counselling process. Otherwise, a counseling relationship could not be built. In this session counselor must have objectives that he wants to achieve. Among those are: 1. Establishing a therapeutic environment/situation so that client feels safe, accepted without condition, be understood and respected. 2. Counselor has to be genuine and not assuming the role of a counselor. He must sincerely be willing to help and be with the client. The couselor gives full attention the client. 3. Expanding the client reality psychology space. The counselor helps client to explore himself/herself so that he/she has a clearer picture about himself/herself and his/her situation to explore the expressed emotion deeper or to see it closely. Although the counsellor has not explored the emotions hidden meaning, he must follow clients cognitive and emotion development. Unintentionally, the counsellor will get important information from the client that could give a general picture concerning the client. This exploration will allow the counsellor to evaluate in general the clients strength and weakness. 4. Giving a counselling structure situation to the client. The objective is to avoid clients misunderstanding in regards to counsellor function and to give an idea on what can be expected in future sessions. The information given to client is what is sufficiently needed as of that moment. It may not be a complete explanation (a lecture) concerning the counselling process. The 3 Stages of The First Session (Buchheimer and Balogh 1961) 1. Defining problem/questioning 2. Exploration 3. Termination and plans for future sessions. It is not a definite segmentation. It is a guideline.. a goal-oriented approach.

Defining Clients Problem Promoting a therapeutic environment, safe, understanding, respecting and accepting without condition. Counsellor : Good morning, Ali

Client Counsellor

: Good morning. : I see u have made an appointment to see me this morning. Is there anything specific that you would like to discuss? : Mm..I am not sure what what is really happening Maybe some of the teachers here would have told you... I have a pr oblem and my school homework is not satisfactorily. I am facing difficulties in few subjects. I dont know what.. what.... is actually not right? They ask me to see u. I dont know what the real problem is. : I hear you are not sure about the real situation. Hmmm maybe you are not sure about what you think/feel, Ali, and that affects your attitude.. what others are saying : (Interrupt) Yes I dont know. I mean. As if I have a problem.. but I am not sure whats the matter... I dont know whats happening. ah. school.. everything looks different after maybe there is nothing I can be sure of teacher. but I dont have much interest anymore in school and I felt bored.. I dont feel involved. : Sounds like everything has no meaning anymore to you, Ali. : No meaning is really a suitable word.. yes, I feel useless. ( why do I have to do all this). All the things that I have done. What do I get. I dont really like school. Before this, I was always doing well in my studies but lately my studies (performance) are not good. Um.m.m I dont know why.. specific reasons perhaps being in class is just boring. : Well, I hear as if you have given up hope, not just with the classes or your studies but I feel as if you feel there is no point in doing anything anymore.. as if there is no hope. : Yes.... What benefit do I get.what. not just that but where do I go.where am I heading... Um. m. if only I can see where I am heading through this school or reason I am here or I have an interest but I dont see I dont know lets say I continue my studies and graduate and even enter university but you know I would not do that because I dont want to because I dont see it will lead me anywhere. I dont see anywhere that I want to go. Perhaps I dont see anywhere I can fit myself in. : If you feel you have lost your hope in regards to school and anything concerning schooling, I would like to know if you are feeling the same feeling when you are talking to me.

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: Mmm.. I think I would not have come if I was not asked to..Mmmm.. I dont think you can tell me what I should do, but I am prepared. : So you do have hope, perhaps also some confidence to find meaning or purpose in your life. : Mmm possibly : Maybe, we can both discuss or find meaning and possibly also from the discussion we can give you some sort of ideas to make plans for.. : I do hope so, but I find it difficult : I understand.. but maybe we can work together to define your feelings Ali. Later perhaps you can think of the plans for now and the future. Is that reasonable to you? : Yes possibly.. okay.

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Exploration Stage Counsellor : Can you tell me how you feel? And what is causing you to completely give up hope . Client : I cant clearly explain what it actually is. I feel it all the time. Once I have thought of what my goals are.. I wish to succeed and I have never thought of any problem. Everything was clear and seems proper/right.. I have never had any question or any doubt. But now, I cant see and cant imagine of what I want to be or what I want to do. I dont see where I can fit myself in. I feel there is nothing meaningful for me anymorethen I do nothing .. this makes m e feel worse.. I feel perhaps : When you say it like that Ali,..sounds like you are so alone.. as if you are being left out you are always saying you cant fit yourself in. : Yes : There is a strong urge in you to be accepted and to be doing something, but when you are engaging in something you face difficulties. : Yes that is it. Where can I be accepted? How. who...how can I know who I am and where I fit myself in.. I feel alone? I dont
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know I have friends and a kind/nice girlfriend and other things but those are not enough we do normal stuff, go to the same place and lately I smoke a lot but that leads me nowhere..nowhere not anybodys fault. Counsellor : In this case studying and the planning that you have made also leads to nowhere u dont see why you need to make those plans again. : For what? I cant do it. When I sit down to do it, I dont understand why I am doing it and then I just give up. Perhaps after that I ask where I can find the source to fit myself or who I really am, what do I want to do, dont know where And I feel I know nobody can tell me so far.. I see everyone; not all, but almost everyone do not really care about this. They look like they know what they are doing and why they are doing it but I cant do it, cant, I dont know. I really dont know. : It is very confusing.. yes? : I dont see yes how to solve this situation? : Looks like all this while you know the plans and have an idea of who you are and where you are heading.but suddenly that self -image is no longer who you think you actually are or what you want to do. : Yes maybe thats it. I was not that person actually at that time. I was what my parents wants me to be and what they think I have to do at that time, it doesnt matter. I was not worried about it I tried to get to know and understand my parents.. I find they are normal human being and have weakness. They worked hard all their life and succeeded in many things. But those things didnt bring happiness to them they are successful but they dont look happy I dont know I find as if I am doing what they are doing.. and at times I worry. Do you understand, teacher. feeling scared and really feeling alone. : Yes, Ali, you surely feel a kind of desperation when feel that way. Perhaps what I am trying to say to you is that you are not alone Ali. I mean, I will spare time for you and help you think through this matter. Looks like you wish to understand yourself better, find yourself, when you said you are not your real self before this .. and now you said you dont know who you really are.. because you have not put aside your parents value and hope. Possibly you are trying to put them aside but you are still unable to build a new you. Maybe that is what you are looking for now.. Yes these are my values, these are what will

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bring happiness to me and some of what have been planned by my parents may not bring happiness to me. Client : Yes, thats it,.. but what

Terminating and Planning: Counsellor : Ali you have to start by asking yourself: What is my goal? Who am I in building my own identity : Yes. : This will take time, for us to find, to understand maybe also struggle to know who the real Ali is. : You mean after that I. Umm.. you think by talking about it

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Counsellor : Mmm.. I think this is where we have to start while you th ink and reflect/ponder and talk about this I can help clarify things that you are going through things that dont fit or not in balance your behaviour and looking at what you have been through all this while. Client Counsellor : Mmmm. : To me, you are in the process of building a new identity that is different from the one before. : Umm can I do that? : Mm It is for sure not an easy thing; I feel that depends on our willingness to work towards that. If you feel that you are ready, how about we fix a few sessions in a week, maybe we can spend time together for it. : Okay.. I think surely my form teacher will allow me to be out of the : Let me fix an hour tomorrow. You have library time.... well start tomorrow, okay. : Okay. : Thats good.

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2nd Stage : Continuing Relationship / Development of Counseling Process

Counseling relationship develops through various stages. In the process, the client explores himself, understand more clearly about himself/herself, takes action based on that understanding and try a new behaviour (change) until the termination of the session (counseling relationship). Append below is a model of continuing relationship but not necessarily all counseling process follow this model. This model is used to explore the stages of relationship/ development of the counseling process. An understanding of these stages can help counselors to get a clearer picture of the whole counseling process. This model is more suitable for personal problems and social counseling rather than education and career counseling. However emotional aspects can not be ignored in decision making even in career counseling or education. The process as described in this model does not necessarily follow the same developmental stage. The stages are not isolated from one another and there is no specific time limit. Some clients are quick to explore themselves others have problems overcoming resistances . The process of understanding oneself and trying new behaviours (change) is different between individuals.

The second stage:

Self Exploration When the client become more confident with the relationship, he/she will express he/her feelings better. Exploration stage may also occur during the first meeting, or more than one session. Initially, the client will tell about his/her problems as if the problem is beyond his/her responsibilities. Feelings are often expressed in the form of discussion rather than experiencing the feelings of the time. Goal of Counselor By exploring himself/herself, a client will have a picture of himself/herself and so various other aspects of the his/her self-concept: Aspects of self-concept: i. Clients talk about weaknesses and his faults. ii. Clients talk about his/her positive aspects. iii. Clients is more realistic about himself/herself and evaluate himself/herself more appropriately.

Ensuring that the client is aware of all his feelings, and how the feelings affect his/her behaviour.

Self Exploration: - The Second Stage.

Counselor Client : : How are you doing today? I cant.....ah.. I dont know... Im not interested in anything... ah, I dont know. I think I better not continue this. Its easier that way rather than continue to involve myself. I think.... even though its still too early... you have that same attitude during our session, which is... hard to engage in the session. Yes... I guess so. Its easier not to get involved. You have been going around within yourself and you come to dead end. You may think that it will happen again during this session. Maybe I never thought so... never.. Huh.. I almost did not want to come here and see you.. maybe just like what you said. I just do not want to get involved. I dont think it will take me anywhere...yah, it seems so... I dont know.. I cant... I dont want to do this (giggle)...I dont know. I really dont like...really.. I dont feel like doing it. I think.... I dont know. You seem to be questioning or finding the reasons...you said you do not understand why. hmmm... do you want to try and start explore the reasons why you are feeling like this.... and see what happened to you before and understand why you become like this? You mean...ah... why I was (giggle)... what had happened to me that made me feel like this? Uh..huh. I just draw a blank when you said that. Last week you said to me that you were a person whom your parents want you to be and your behavior were accepted by the society, but you have changed, and this may relate to your development. Uh..huh.. Yah, thats right.. what er.. now, I cant..ah... I just cant..ah.. maybe I jus dont know. Maybe you can share with me about your feeling. Huh... First, I want to talk about my feelings towards my parents and perhaps ... how I feel about myself depends on my feeling towards them. I always...er.. My mom and dad were really concerned about me and I dont have to worry about anything... I always get what I wanted.. Thats what I dont understand.. I was not like this before.. My parents gave everything that I want and they took good care of me. When I was little and would get sick, my mom and my grandma...they were always at home... they took good care of me and gave their full attention to me and I often do not know. When I looked back... My life was good and I always get what I wanted.
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Do your parents allow you by yourself lately? You can still No...actually, its the opposite.. They still treat me like a child.. I hate to say this, but they treat me like a baby and uhm... I dont know.. I dont like this but I dont know.. I know they love me so much but I just dont like the way they treat me, and when I got asthma,.. it was usually bad for several days... and they treat me... especially my mom... she wont allow me to do anything... Sometimes they treat you like when you were a kid....like a kid who got sick. Especially my mom and my grandma.. hmm.. I found almost everything they do... as if they dont want me to grow up as if they do not want mer to be free from them. They love to take care of me and it is important for them to take care of me... so, since I got asthma, they think I should be at home and I am not allowed to do anything like what my other friends are doing. You have now come to the stage where you would not like to be treated like this. But it seemed sometimes the attention given appeared to be acceptable it is difficult to reject it altogether. (Laugh) Yes, but I dont like to admit that sometimes that is the thing that I like and hate. It gave rise to opposite feelings in yourself. At home...hmm... I love to go back home and they will do anything for me, like..hm... when I woke up in the morning, my mom always prepare breakfast for me and other stuff too... they will do and get it for me.. If I want pocket money or anything, they will give it.... However, at the same time, I just dont like it... I dont know. Maybe I kind of confuse now. (giggle). Yes, it seems like you want a freedom. You like the treatment that you get from your parents and grandma, but you dont want to hurt their feeling.. like what you said, this relationship is important for them. uh..huh. Clearly this slows the process of freeing yourself. Yah.. You seems like....uh... .............. Hmm..m...m... I never think about that... What did I do wrong what mistake did I do that I did not become self-reliantyesI am to fast to run away from home. Sometimes, Im scared to try... Its easy.. easier for me to let those things happen... why did I must let other things bothering me when everything seems comforting for me. Yes... but, behind what have you said, I can see that you are scared.. Hey... I cant do this. Am I going to depend on my mom all the time?... Am I going to be a man? You speak about your meaningless life or you do not have power (role) to determine your future. Maybe the other reason would be because you did not really play much role before.... most of the time your family decide for you. (silent) Yes, you mean... maybe one of the reasons...umm..all this while.. the way I interact at home or the way Ive been
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brought up....(silent for a moment)... I get what you mean. Actually.... at home I have been raised and looked after to the extent that I could not be self-reliant and do my own things I let them overwhelmed me actually I feel comfortable with that to the extent that I did not do anything. (stop) Very easy very easy to let them do that... I think I get it now.. but....

In this section, the counselor did the interpretation or suggestion. If the client did not agree or the suggestion is meaningless to him the counselor can conclude that the idea is not really matter to the client. If for example the client seriously opposed the suggestion, strongly reject it the counselor can tentatively assume that the interpretation is almost true to the actual fact. However, the counselor should be careful as the interpretation might be wrong. If the client agrees, both counselor and client can temporarily accept it. Whether the interpretation is right or wrong, depends on the effort of the client in facing the problem and the solution. Most of the client will move from this stage towards solving their own problem and they get insight to change. This client will not experience the third stage in this counseling model, which is a deeper exploration. At this stage the client shared with the counselor about his/her weaknesses and ask for help from the counselor. The Counselor told the client that he understood the need of the client.

The counselor convinced him that both of them have involved in the counseling relationship. At the end of their meeting, the counselor gave an initial program to the client. The counselor can give the following proposal :-

Counselor :

Next week, before our scheduled meeting, why dont you go and look for a place where you can enhance your freedom. At least now we are aware that you can see how you behave. And yes, you have realized that it is not easy to change dramatically. It is a process. I think we should try the first step first and see where we can go from here.

3rd stage: In-Depth exploration

Sometimes client needs a therapeutic counselling to understand the feelings towards their own awareness. This type of client will involved with their own exploration of feeling and behaviour. Most of the counsellor are not ready to go through the feelings and complicated issues that involved personality reorganization. Many of them at school or college might be dont have enough time to go through this stage. Unfortunately the counsellor will progress from second stage to solve the problems (working through).

Process The counsellor tell the clients directly or indirectly what they feel or maybe not enough about clients thinking process. This confrontation stage has been focussed to client tendency to avoid poor summarizing the issues. Counsellor try to persuade the clients for leave the way they think and being honest to themselves. Counsellor need to aware not too persuasive and immediately making the changes of clients thought. Carkhuff (1969), assumed that the climax process of counselling was immediacy interpretation. Where as the counsellor need to understand and feel the diversity between her/his and the clients. The counsellor can feel tune in all the feelings so that the counsellor can understand their clients and tell them what was happening and make them aware of themselves. The counsellor can make immediacy interpretation whereby they focussed on their feeling during the session. Sometimes the counsellor can abandoned the clients essence, meanwhile they need to focussed on non verbal message of clients.

During the counselling session, if the process become complicated and not strictly to the issues this is the right time to focussed on immediacy , especially the interaction between the counsellor and the client.

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4th Stage: Working through

When client realizes about his/her past experience and how they feel at the moment, they can rationalize regarding their feels, problems and behaviour. This realization will effect the changes of behaviour. The goal is to make the clients aware and realize how their feel and agreed with denial mechanism methods that they being using all the times. they will recognize the problem sources and try to overcome the problems from relations between past experiences and the experiences during the session.

In self exploration process, clients get the insights , that they realizes and aware about their feeling can effect their behaviour. Which means, hopefully clients can see the behaviour alternatives can bring to the new one. Insight The situation whereby the clients release the idea of ahh..ahh. which means they already recognize their issues cognitively. It can change the clients perceptions and create the new behaviour. Self awareness i. ii. iii. When clients can tell about themselves and picture their feeling that being occur from self exploration. When client deeply explore, it shows that at this stage the start to react with new behaviour. After the client explore the present feeling and realize the relation between previous experience then they a feeling of well being

Alternative Client will consider several alternative. In certain situation they can measure the alternative that could be impact and consequences form those alternative. At last stage the concreteness will be stress on taking a specific action. It necessarily for client to implement the action to overcome their problem. In certain situation the clients cant realize the alternative, they are counsellor think they need to interrupt and response to teach the clients think about the alternative process. In other words give them the number of alternatives. The counsellor need to aware to avoid misunderstanding. The suggestion clearly being measured by the clients so that it can fulfil their needs.
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Insight/overcome the problems Counsellor: It might be the important part in your life. For the first time in other way you leave the houseits your chance to control your life.. or you are responsible enough to survive. Client: hmmto further my studies at college I prefer to be at home. but what im afraid off? Why hmmm ..it seems like Im afraid off leaving my house. Counsellor: it might be other simple waymost probably its more complicated and complex. May be..ummhhmmmyou afraid to find out and form the behaviour or making the decision . (quiet long silence) Client: probably I understand butI cantI do no know what to do..(laugh) Counsellor: yes.. intellectually you understandbut you feel hard to accept and implement it. Client: I think its trueindeed I am to dependence to my family. i let them pampered me and not even care the consequences. When any challenges beyond my expectations I prefer to back out rather than faced it .i was withdraw before being forced to do somethingsoI went backI do not try to think about it anymore. Counsellor: you seems like having the same feeling nowbut if you leave this room and me you will feel flying .do not know what and how you suppose to doeverything will be meaninglessall about escapism.. how about we try to see a few space regarding the results that you can decide and responsible and something that you can implementwhat are the thing that you can develop?

Client: I think, the important thing that I need to focussed is about what Im going to do after graduate form school. Recently my friends already apply to further their study at University but Im doing nothing. i do not know where Im suppose to go what course should I takefrom beginning I already decide do not go anywhere. (silent)..my teachers also know about this. I already told my parents and they thin I should stay and go to private college or study by myself..but I dont want to do that.(laugh)but.. i never leave my house. But not because of meIm not afraid to stay away from my family.

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Counsellor: you are not ready to make final decision to further your study at college or university. But it can be discussed with me whether you want leave your familymight be not to farand you still can feel saveor may be you want to discuss with your parents about you need a chance to fulfil your responsibility and enhance your individuality. From there you slightly can develop your own freedom. Client: everything look unclear and quiet far from me at the momentsbut I know what ever happens I need to do itits hard for me to leave my parents because they to kind of mebut I still need to leave them for my own sake. Counsellor: it was a hard way to your parents and yourself as well. Client: I think its hard for them than me now. ..but I realize now that I cant stay at my house. .as long Ill been there Ill still a childish. For all this while I cant manage my own self and never make any decision.

Counsellor: I found that you have same criteria in terms of your homework. May be you develop the form of dependency in your home work. Now its time to you try a diversity of freedom and responsibility aspects.

Client: I think may beits seems like easy to do it but. .i dont know whether I can do it or notI understand all about our discussion but after I leave yo ur room I will get confuse and do not know where I need to start. Counsellor: yes its strongly difficult ..its much easier to make a practise rather than learn to learn anew one. Client: I knowihuhhhnow I can see everything that I done it before I dont like anymoreI need to step outI (stop for a while)..yes I want to go to university.

In this session seems like Ali already get the insight but not ready for termination. He need to collaborate the insight with his new behaviour and need to discuss more with his counsellor Counsellor need to make assessment about client development process. This assessment have a same goal and objective that need to achieve. Counsellor encourage the client to apply the insight for create a new behaviour. The successful of this experience can enhance the confidence of clients to try again.

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If the client failure to achieve the objectives, both of them need to discuss in nest session of counselling for clients get the insight and reform the new behaviour. Before terminate counsellor need to suggest that clients have to plan the programme about clients insight and try to implement the new behaviour. Termination One of the objectives is to help client functioning in proper way and responsibility to themselves. Termination can be done when client feel they can make their own decisions, get knowledgeable or its shows that your clients do not need anymore the counselling session. The termination also can be done, if the counsellor feel that he/she can help the client anymore to achieve the goal. In that case the termination is the sincere reference that really reasonable. The preparation need to be done before terminate the session. Counsellor need to encourage the client to summarize the issues during the session. Counsellor need to ensure that the clients looks stabilize and not in confuse stage. The counsellor need to ensure that the client can functioning well to society or get help from others. The final decision was depends by the counsellors consideration.

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