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Mastura Johar

Universiti Tenaga Nasional


 Do you know that body language is unconsciously
used everyday?
Yet very few people realized its importance in
human relations.- improve our chances of success
in sales, in business, in family life and in romantic
encounters

 Do you know that body language is 8 times more


effective than spoken words; 2 times more effective
than how you say? Therefore, using of body
language to communicate enhances the power of
your message.

 Do you know that body language communicates a


person’s basic personality:

The emotion
Direction of thought
His relations with others
What others really think about him
 Body language transmits information about
your self. What you say non verbally is often
more influential than what you say verbally
because it bypassed the conscious mind
of the listener and speaks direct to his
subconscious mind and people trust non-
verbal message more than verbal message

 Unlike verbal communication, body language


communicates direct with the
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. It reveals things
unknowingly to a person himself.

 Body language is not edited. … postures,


gestures, movements are
UNCONSCIOUS…INVOLUNTARILY.
SPONTANEOUS. So we trust body language
more than words
FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
 Anger  Dishonest
 Anxious  Defensive
 Argument  Evaluation
 Aggression  Enthusiasm
 Arrogance  Engrossed
 Approval  Fear
 Boredom  Feeling Good
 Confident  Friendly
 Concentration  Frustration
 Decision Making  Hostile
 Disagreement  Honest
 Disappointment
 Disapproval
FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

 Interested and  Reassurance


involved  Reflective
 Impatient  Ridicule
 Sad
 Indifference  Superiority
 Feeling Good  Threatened
 Listening  Talking To Self
 Looking Interested  Thinking Visually
 Lack Of Self  Unsure Uncertain
 Unhappy
 Confidence  Wanting To Say
 Loneliness  Worry
 Nervous Comfort  To Be Left Alone
 Pompous  Wanting To Leave
WHAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR ARE
YOU SHOWING

ASSERTIVE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE


BEHAVIOUR BEHAVIOUR BEHAVIOUR

expressive wringing hands clenched fists

relaxed fidgety movements finger pointing

steady posture shuffling feet


hands on hips

sit upright down cast eyes folded arms

direct eye contact stooping big strides

strong, clear voice hand-over mouth hand thumbing

energetic whining back slapping

soft spoken loud voice


Body language and effective
communication

Positives
Confidence
Friendly
Appearance Honesty
Voice Enthusiasm
Posture Rapport/
Gestures  listener
Facial-
expressions
Smell
Health Negatives

 Aggressive
 Pompous
 Passive
Professionalism
& integrity
 Deceive
 Nervousness
 Unsure
Rapport
Suggested statements

• oh! Really • Physical


• I see… matching
• So….. ACTIVE
• yes….. • Use his body
• and…. LISTENING language

Mirror statement
Para language
Rephrase what he
has said
• umm ..
• Ahh…

Comparative questions
 What is different now?

Hypothetical question How do you feel you


have changed?
What would if?

When do you think you might do that


INFLUENCING OTHERS TO REACT
POSITIVELY TOWARDS YOU

“Let others see you relaxed,


comfortable and in control”

 Be prepared
 Plenty of eye contact on first meeting and at
 Regular periods during any discussions; also
 Eye-brow flash
 Watch your posture
 Control your gestures - handshakes
 Make an entrance - walk tall
 Control your self- touch
 Don’t fidget
 Pleasant facial expressions
 Listen to develop trust
 Mirroring his/her postures and gestures
We have 10 to 20 seconds to make a
favorable first impression the first time
we meet. After that we have roughly 4
minutes to confirm and establish a
positive relationship with that person
Nervous comfort
 Folded arms  Covering mouth when
 Blinking a lot talking
 Fiddling with rings,  Scratching a lot
chains, watches  Clearing throat too much
 Pushing glasses up  Straightening tie hands
the nose in pockets
 Jingling money in  Wringing hands
pocket
 Smiles too much
 Twiddling bits of hair
 Biting nails
 Tapping foot
Expressing negative feelings and
attitudes with body positions

 Arms folded across the chest

 Tapping fingers, pen, feet

 Body turns sideways and leaning away

 Chin resting in the palm of the hand, with arm held


tightly against the body and head tilted slightly away

 Eyes revolving upwards/reduce eye contact

 Hand held in front of the person’s face

 Corners of the mouth turned downwards

 Touching/rubbing nose

 One eyed brow raised


Eye contact

 If you have trouble staring someone in the


eye, simply focus at something at his face

 When speaking to a group look at everyone

 Look at people who are key decision makers


or hold power

 Look at reactive listeners

 Don’t look at the floor, scripts or anything that


causes you to tilt your head away from the
receiver

 Don’t look at bad listeners that may distract


you
Eye movements Interpretation
 Steady gaze of more than Create anxiety and
10 seconds: discomfort
 Steady gaze Calm interior, sense of
security and strength
about oneself:
 Shifty glance: Obviously unable to
hold his to confront you
 Looking over your head Solo monologue, not
or down: talking listener into
account

 Sharp penetrating look Aggression and hostility


 Talking with little eye contact Arrogant, contempt,
suspicion
 Talking, eyes looking down: Sadness, shame,
disgust
 No eye contact: Not recognized
 Breaking eye contact, glancing Extrovert
to the right:
 Breaking eye contact glancing Introvert
to the left:
 Look upward to the right Imagination
 Look upward to the left Retrieve
Reading Standing Postures

 Slightly apart - self confidence


 Close together - fear, tension
 Parallel feet - attentive
 Feet inward - insecure
 Feet outwards - self confidence
 Wide apart – eagerness to impress
Reading Decision making

 Chin stroking thoughtfully, lean back in the


chair thinking

 Hands clasped with 2 index fingers stippled


beneath the chin

 Scratches head thoughtfully

 Toys with the pen/pencil

 Bites lips or furrows eyebrows pursed lips

 Chin stroking
THE SIX BASIC OF
COMMUNICATION

1. Everything we do is communication

1. The volume and tone of voice we use


2. The degree of eye contact we make
3. Our stance
4. The tilt of our head
5. The clothing and accessories we choose
6. The car we drive
7. The house we live in
8. Our posture, seating position or facial
expression
9. he word we choose
10. When we place personal items on our
desk at work
11. All communicate how we feel about
ourselves and how we wish to be treated
by others.

Poor communicators focus on their on thoughts, feelings,


experiences and ideas. Their eyes, ears, hearts and mind
aren’t receptive to the communication of others.
Good communicators pay attention to everything the other
person is communicating – symbolic, nonverbal and verbal.
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2. The 3Vs Model

1. Visual : 55% the impact of our communications


come from our body
language and symbol

2. Voice : 38% is from our voice tone, tempo and


volume

3. Vords : 7% is from the actual vords we used

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3. The way we begin our message often
determines the outcome of the communication

When someone first speaks, if we are not careful,


our first few words can cause people to tune out
or to become defensive – to reject our message.

Our first speak can make up other people mind


whether they like us, trust us, want to do
business with us. Studies show, we have about
two minutes when we’re face to face, 30 second
on the telephone, and 10 to 15 seconds on
voicemail .

Think first, don’t engage our mouth before our


brain.

Part of the success of any communication depends


on the way we choose to begin it.

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4. The way the message is delivered always
affects the way the message is received

How we say something is often more important


than what we say

Managing our body language so that it sends


signals we want to send

Dress appropriately, watch our tone of voice.


These thing are always important factors in the
way a massage received as other people use
a variety of senses to listen and interpret our
message

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5. The real communication is the massage
received, not the massage intended

“ Oh, That’s not what I meant at all.. What I


meant was… Too late, the damage has been
done.

Be flexible. Don’t simply say the same thing to


ten different people the same way every time
because different people have different levels
of understanding, background and desires.

Monitor the other person’s reactions while


they are delivering it so
they can adjust our delivery as necessary.

Good communicators do their homework –


they find out what’s
important to the other person, how much
they already know
and what their previous experience is.

That way, they can frame their massage so it


meshes with the other person ‘world’
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6. Communication is two-way-street. We have to
give as
well as gather

If we only state our own point of view clearly,


fairly and persuasively. We have got a way
street communication

Before the real two way street communication


occurs, we need to hear the other person’s
point of view clearly.

Having both gathered and given good


information, we are then ready to move on to
reach a decision, solve a problem, negotiate a
compromise, win a sale, make a friend, resolve
a disagreement, reach an agreement,
conclude a deal…..

Poor communicators think the communication


is over when they have said their bit

Good communicators recognize that’s usually


only the beginning
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