THE GIFT OF SINGLENESS Genesis 1:26-31 The word single means unique, whole, separate and complete.

It is important for us to realize that when God created man, He made them as singles. He made them male and female. He never created them married as husband and wife. Mans creation brought perfection to the earth and his existence on earth made all things good in Gods sight. Genesis 2:18-25. God will only bring various opportunities your way, but it is your free-will to make a choice. God will never violate this. You can only involve Him in you decision-making and allow Him to be your influence. If He created you as a single first, then, there is a purpose to that. Until you fulfill your purpose as a single, I strongly advise you not to get married. If singleness does not have a purpose, I believe God would have created us as married pairs. The best way to get blessed is to be a blessing and naturally your blessings will find or locate you. Dont be desperate, and while not being desperate, dont be idle. It is good to settle down, but if you are not settled on the inside of you, you cannot settle down. Therefore, you need to first of all get settled on the inside with God and His Spirit; in order to settle down in marriage successfully. Man is full of unique gifts, given by God. Singleness is a time to maximally use these God-given gifts in you, which make you unique, in order to bring out your uniqueness, make you whole, separate or distinct and complete in Him; even while being a single. When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. If you short-circuit the process of singleness, there will be a problem in marriage. Many people dont know the purpose of singleness, therefore, they have abused it; by getting involve in premarital sex (and other sexual immorality), drugs, wrong friendship, wild party, gangsterism, and other social disorders or disorientation. The purpose of your existence is not intrinsically marriage, else our Lord Jesus Christ and Paul, the Apostle did not fulfill purpose on earth. Hence, have a re-think on your existence. Due to high anticipation of marriage, a lot of people keep looking into the future and neglect the present. So, people concentrate on the future so much that they never lived their present. The actions of the present translate into evidences of the future. Enjoy where you are on your way to where you are going. No man has ever lived in the future. You are continuously living in the present. So, make the present meaningful. What you do with your singleness which is now is very important. Faith is always in the NOW, but hope is in the future. If your faith (present) is defective, your future (hope) will never be realized. What you do with your singleness (single life) will determine the level of your happiness in when you get married (that is, marriage). There is a method for relationship and marriage, stop struggling and seek knowledge. Today is a gift or present, how do you want to treat it? Many have concentrated so much on the future that when the future eventually comes, it will not want to desire them (or the future will not be desirable to them. A man who gets married to a lady because of her beauty or shape and the likes is like buying a coke simply because of the bottle. Can you buy a mansion because of the colour? Many concentrate on what they want and thus, forget what is necessary now. If you worry about what might be (in the future) and

wonder on what has been (in the past); you will of course ignore what it is now (in the present). If you keep living in the future, you will never get your desires. Then, this will result to FRUSTRATION. Little wonder there are many singles who are frustrated. They have tried severally but failed woefully, and now they are desperate. When you are desperate, you are prone to make sub-optimum and poor choices which will result to regrets, unhappiness and loneliness. Therefore, if you pursue purpose and meaningfulness as you pursue marriage (future) now, your life will be more fulfilling and you will touch other lives too. Thereby, you become a blessing. Genesis 2:15-18. Here, Adam was pursuing the purpose of his life, tending the garden God gave him and obeying His will. He was not pursuing marriage at all. He never considered marriage because; he was consumed with purpose, that is, Gods work. But, God realized he was alone. When you pursue the work God has given to you, God will interrupt your life and introduce your life partner, the right suitor to you. You dont need to struggle with marital issue, only get busy wi th your purpose and Gods work. Proverbs 18:20-24. The kind of spouse or partner you desire starts from your mouth. Some people need to begin by working first on their mouth. Verse 20 says, A mans stomach is satisfied by the produce of his lips. You nee d to start to say the right things you desire. Relationship and marriage is more of giving. What you dont have, you cant give. Fill your heart with great and lovely things. Singleness is a time to work and fill ones heart with good things. If you want a good partner, you need to ask yourself if you are good person. You need to ask yourself if you worth being someones husband or wife, father or mother, in-law or friend. You must ensure that you are spiritually, emotionally, physically and intellectually sound. Can you imagine marrying a shallow person? Deep calleth unto deep. The decision of the person you date or marry depends on the level of your spirituality at the time when you make the decision. You need to understand that, there are beautiful witches and handsome devils. Dont marry simply because of beauty or handsomeness. This could be a deceit. None of this is a fruit of the Spirit. What you do during your single state determines whether you will become a man or woman or rather a boy or girl later in life. Marriage is for a man and a woman, not for a boy and a girl. Maturity is defined here by the way you think not necessarily by age. There are some aged men and women that think like a teenager. Such are not matured. Marriage is for two matured people, a man and a woman. God desires that we have a great and fulfilled married life. But first, He wants us to have a fulfilled single life. It is when you are in purpose that God will interject you and bring your spouse your way. Many have abandoned God and made marriage desire their god. Therefore, they are miserable now. Your spouse cannot give you happiness, joy, comfort, peace, and so on. Only God can. That is why you should depend solely on Him, not on any mortal. Marriage cannot solve your aloneness syndrome. It is possible you are in a relationship or married and yet feel alone in the relationship or the union. Most singles move away from what they are to what they are not and in the long run, they become fakes and put on false identities. Can you imagine if two fake people get married? They will become a fake virus. Therefore, dont lose your individuality or value because of the desire for marriage. Be bold and confident of where you are on your way to where you are going to. Develop the person you are on the inside. Celebrate your uniqueness (what makes you different from others). Monotony kills interests; variety is the spice of life. We cannot be the same. Never!

God celebrates singleness, so celebrate it too now that you are a single. Celebrating singleness is about understanding your individuality and maximizing it to Gods glory. Relationship is as good as what you and your partner bring into it. That is why the understanding of your destiny and identity (who you are) is very important. The devil has always been contending with our identity (as a sinlge) and purpose in life. When you compromise your identity, you lose your purpose. When you get your identity confused, you will get your blessings confused and misplaced as well. The devil will test your wholeness, uniqueness and gifts while being single and even in marriage. Many fell into temptations because they dont understand their uniqueness and gifts. Jesus understood His identity a single in the Word of God. When the devil came to Him in the wilderness, He said to him, It is written Luke 4:4a, 8a. A man is as holy as what he wants not what he wishes. As a single person, you cannot play with Gods word. After the devil successfully confuses people, they then decide for marriage in their confused state. Little wonder we have lots of divorces today. When two confused people get married, they build a confused home. If you dont know who you are, what will you give someone else you are intending to spend the rest of your life with? The best thing a confused person can give is confusion. Ladies, make sure you know a guys focus in life before you relate intimately with him and then, decide for marriage; because you will have to submit to him in marriage. Imagine you submitting to a confused man in marriage. It is important to refine your identity. Dont marry an empty man, because absolutely nobody will fill you in marriage. Singleness is a time to fill yourself to an overflow in God by the help of the Holy Spirit. Your marriage is going to be as successful as your singleness. Many people are just getting to know each other in marriage, when they should have discussed as to knowing each other, they were busy playing around. They get to start to do courtship in marriage. Your single state is very important, get this right. A question all intending partners must answer before knotting the tie and saying Yes I do! is this: Why do I want to get married?

Finally, know the right reasons for marriage. May God help you to be fulfilled as a single now and in your marriage in Jesus name.
The reason why you were born is not to get married. God has a purpose for you. Therefore, chasing marriage as if it is the only thing you have got to do is not it. If the purpose for which you were born is to marry, then Jesus Christ did not fulfill purpose. Singleness (your single state) is a gift that must be celebrated. Singleness is a time of growth. It is a time of self discovery, spiritual discovery and service. It is a time to sit under God to discover who God has made you. It is a time to concentrate on the content and not the container in order to have an inestimable or valuable content. My intention for presenting this to you is to ensure that you understand this gift called singleness; you understand your wholeness and uniqueness as a single, so that you can make a right decision about when to get married and who to marry. Its also important that you enjoy where you are on your way to where you are going.

Seven Gifts of God To Man (A Trail from Dr. Myles Munroe) Genesis 1:26; 2:15-25

1.

Spiritual Nature and Character:

This is the first gift to be considered as a single man or woman is not marriage or relationship. You need to know that you are created in Gods image and likeness . The first thing to be concerned about as a single man or woman is your spiritual nature and character. What you need is to first find yourself, not to find a wife or seek for a relationship. There are so many people who are confused about who they are. The only thing they know about themselves is the name they bear and probably where they hail from. You need to find yourself and be secured in the knowledge of who you are. You need to have a healthy self-esteem and self-image. The only way to go about this is to find it in God. You need to be confident in who God has made you. This confidence can only be drawn from God. Some people are not confident because they are poor or perhaps dont have a car or jobless. Its true that sin has demoralized men, but you need to come back to God and take your confidence in Him. Never take your confidence from what you possess like money, car, social status or educational status/qualification. Some derive their confidence from these things. As singles, we need to start to take our image from God. It is natural to always look up to things like material possession in order to be confident. But, we need to begin to consciously look up to God alone. Some even say that I dont have this and that so I cannot relate. No! It is not about what you have or dont have; it is about God and who you are on the inside. God created you; let Him express the person on the inside of you. After all, Adam never had clothes on him when God created him and he was not ashamed. He was joyful because the glory of God was upon him. The challenge is that people who dont have self -worth or self-esteem, who havent derived their confidence from God eventually become liabilities to whoever they marry. (No one wants someone who will always want to take away from him or her, but someone who will add to his or her life.) Such marriage will lose trust and faithfulness, because you will always be defensive. When you marry someone with an unhealthy or poor self-worth or self-esteem, such will live his or her life trying to become someone else usually by attaching themselves with the identity of another. He or she tries to become someone else. Everyone is unique. You can take the confidence for your uniqueness only from God. You need to become like God. Marriage is at its best when two God-like people get married. Romans 12:2. A man is truly changed when he has fully changed the way he thinks. You need to get into the word of God in order to know God and be able to change the way you think about yourself. Thats w hy single state is a time to be highly devoted to studying Gods word. Then you become like God and anyone who sees you will see God in you. You will begin to attract only God-like people. 2Corinthians 3:18 (THE MESSAGE, AMPLIFIED) The more you look into the word of God, the more you become more like Him which is what you need to do in your single state. When you become more like Him, it is easier for you to love, forgive, give, be humble and not keep records of wrong. These are things you will be tested with in relationship. In marriage, you will in one way or the other offend each other; if you have not learn in God how to forgive and be patient, how will you be able to forgive and resolve conflicts? You learn patience, longsuffering and other spiritual characters needed to build a healthy relationship and marriage in God. Therefore, it is important that you get your image from God and not from the society, environment, Hollywood, tradition or culture.

Single state is the time to become more like God so that the man or the woman coming into your life for relationship can see unadulterated love in you. 2. Likeness:

Genesis 1:26. Likeness means to be like Him. The purpose for which God made us in His likeness is so that we can function like Him. A person without self-control is like a city without fence (a city with broken-down walls). Proverbs 25:28. Anyone who doesnt know who he or she is becomes a fair game for someone else to mould into another image. Until you become whole, you will always be dependent on other people for self-worth. Amore so, you need to work on your appearance, your speech, and general outlook. Man looks and sees the outward; only God looks on the inside. Proverbs 18:21-22. To have a very good, attractive and pleasant likeness, one of the things you need to work on is your MOUTH. Get you tongue sorted out before you go into a relationship. Learn how to speak confidently for yourself so as not to depend on others for approvals. Learn how to speak the right things at the right time. Your tongue should minister grace and be like a tree of life to people. 3. Gods Presence:

The Radiance of God's Presence

Before Adam needed the presence of another creation, he enjoyed the presence of the Creator. The first Presence that you need in your life is not that of a boyfriend or a girlfriend; but the Presence of God. Imagine someone who just got saved say about 3 months ago and is just getting to know God now wants to go into a relationship. Such is still a babe and will only carry his or her old characters, how he used to live and what he or she knows into the relationship. He or she is not yet matured in the Spirit and has not learned more about Gods nature; and His likeness is not yet fully formed in him or her. You need to use your prospective marriage life (single state) to know more and more of God. Your intending spouse should find you in Eden, that is, Gods Presence. The glory of Gods Presence is a defense. Because Adam and Eve were in Gods Presence in Eden; though they were naked, but they never knew and were not ashamed. Gods glory covered them. The glory ensured they were not self-conscious and selfish. It was not about what they wore or didnt wear, not about lust or flesh; they only saw Gods glory in each others lives. Flesh was not their focal point; it was the glory of God.

Anyone who wants to marry you should meet you in Gods Presence and be able to see His glory in your life. He or she should not be concerned about your body as it were or how he or she wants to sleep with you, kiss you or touch you. Such is not seeing Gods glory in you, but is only concerned about flesh. As a single man or woman preparing for relationship and marriage, what you need to do is to function in Gods Presence. When you have Gods Presenc e overshadowing you, you will be joyous and whoever sees you will see happy countenance on you. Some people when you see them, it is as if they are carrying the problem of the whole world. 4. Work:

You need to be hardworking and diligent in whatever you do. As a young person, someone who is ready to get married, you cannot be lazy. You must have dreams and goals that you are working towards. You must not be like someone who lives with no future ambition (NFA) or as if the future is far away (FIFA). You must have goals, pre-determined goals that you are working towards. You must be diligent at work and diligent in seeking God. At this stage of your life, you have got a lot of time, you need to use it accountably and be diligent. Though, you say you dont ha ve work, you are not gainfully employed; the issue is what can you do? What are your gifts and talents? What do you do best with your hands? You need to creatively be engaged. 5. Cultivation of Garden:

To cultivate means to bring out or to nurture. If you have not nurtured yourself, you cannot nurture somebody else. You need to first of all bring out the best in you so as to be able to bring out the best in somebody else. Do people enjoy being around you? You need to be able to cultivate yourself in order to cultivate someone else and make him or her better and not bitter. Before starting a relationship, you need to first of all consider this, are you a weed that will constantly choke the relationship or a rich fertilizer that will help cultivate and nurture it? Fertilizer improves the quality of what you are planting and also increases the yield. But a weed stifles quality. Fertilizer gives 100% without expecting anything in return. Weed does vice versa and rather compete and reduces. It is a parasite that always wants to take without giving or contributing. So you need to find out, if you o into relationship, will you cultivate and improve your partner or reduce him or her by being a parasite? Cultivation takes time. It requires persistence, patience and focus. 6. Protection:

You need to develop the capacity to defend and protect the interests and lives of those under your care. You need to be able to safeguard peoples dignity, interests and confidence no matter what. You cannot afford to be a tale bearer that always gossips. People who come to you to gossip about someone will surely gossip about you too. Tale bearer causes crisis. As a lady, you need to ask, the man you want to start a relationship with or marry, can he protect you or is he always asking you for sex? Any man who asks you for sex only wants to steal from you. He doesnt love you, but lust after you. You should let such man go. Why should you accommodate someone who wants to steal from you? When a man loves a woman, he will always want to protect her and give her such joy and comfort. Not otherwise. Love doesnt take away, but lust does.

7.

The Word of God:

Its only in the word of God that any relationship can maximize its full potentials. This is because marriage and relationship are concepts out of the heart of God. Therefore, for you to get the best out of it, do not play with the word of God. That is where you will get your image and the likeness that He wants you to get. That is where you will get the real life and build strength of character which will sustain your relationship and marriage. When you have developed these things, you are right for relationship and marriage. Now you can begin to function like God because you have His likeness. People can now trust you, that is, you can win peoples trust. I pray that as singles, you will be celebrated uniquely in Jesus name. You are bold and confident singles going somewhere to happen. You will marry rightly in Jesus name. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless!