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Usually it takes between 4 to 5 A4 pages to cover all the requirements of the AS.

For example 1/2 pg introduction 1 pg biological concepts and processes relating to the issue 1 pg implications of the issue, which can be biological, social, ethical, economic or environmental 1 pg differing opinions or viewpoints 1/2 pg own opinion 1/2 pg evaluation of sources Hi warrior-mahdi I see you have been busy since you posted the first draft before making any changes to your report. Suggest you read the whole post

Ideas are good but style of writing is description and explanation......you need to link the ideas together more. For example you could modify the first too sentences so that they link together.....linking words are in green. Immunisation is the administration of an antigenic, in the form of vaccine. This stimulates the immune system of an individual to develop immunity to a disease so that the body will attack the disease before it causes serious infection. This next bit is unclear......what system? and 'but it'? I think you are trying to say that the vaccine develops immunological memory but this is not very clear. When this system is exposed to molecules that are foreign to the body (non-self), it will orchestrate an immune response, but it can also develop the ability to quickly respond to a subsequent encounter (through immunological memory). This is a function of the adaptive immune system. Again in this next paragraph there are three short descriptive sentences and then unrelated info on issues with vaccines. Pneumonia, diarrhoea, malaria, measles, HIV/AIDS and malnutrition are the primary killers of children in the developing world. Immunisation is used to protect children against diseases. It can wipe out many diseases. There is a dispute over the morality, ethics, effectiveness, or safety of vaccinations. The medical and scientific evidence demonstrates that the benefits of preventing suffering and death from infectious diseases outweigh rare adverse effects of immunization. Since vaccination began in the late 18th century, opponents have claimed that vaccines do not work, that they are or may be dangerous, that individuals should rely on personal hygiene instead, or that mandatory vaccinations violate individual rights or religious principles. What about starting with something like this..... Immunisation is the administration of an antigenic, in the form of vaccine. This stimulates the immune system of an individual to develop immunity to a disease so that the body will attack the disease before it causes serious infection. While imunisation saves lives there is a dispute over the morality, ethics, effectiveness, or safety of vaccinations. Since vaccination began in the late 18th century, opponents have claimed that vaccines do not work, that they are or may be dangerous, that

individuals should rely on personal hygiene instead, or that mandatory vaccinations violate individual rights or religious principles. However medical and scientific evidence demonstrates that the benefits of preventing suffering and death from infectious diseases outweigh rare adverse effects of immunization.For example, mass vaccination helped eradicate smallpox, which once killed as many as one in seven children in Europe.[16] Vaccination has almost eradicated polio.[17] As a more modest example, incidence of invasive disease with Haemophilus influenzae, a major cause of bacterial meningitis and other serious disease in children, has decreased by over 99% in the US since the introduction of a vaccine in 1988. Fully vaccinating all US children born in a given year from birth to adolescence saves an estimated 33,000 lives and prevents an estimated 14 million infections.[19] Notice all the words in green......they are linking ideas together and are what turns the points you make into a discussion. See if you can use more linking words in the rest of your report. If you decide to use this next info I would leave out malnutrition because it is not caused by a microorganism. And also the last sentence Pneumonia, diarrhoea, malaria, measles, HIV/AIDS and malnutrition are the primary killers of children in the developing world. Delete these two sentences or rewrite them as, currently, they are too simple. Immunisation is used to protect children against diseases. It can wipe out many diseases. Suggest you rewrite this next info and use it in the biological concepts and processes part of your report when explaining how the immune system and vaccinations work. When this system is exposed to molecules that are foreign to the body (non-self), it will orchestrate an immune response, but it can also develop the ability to quickly respond to a subsequent encounter (through immunological memory). This is a function of the adaptive immune system.

Lots to think about - does what I'm saying make sense. Let us know how you get on. Cheers ST5

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