CONGRATULATIONS

Eleven Reasons Why I Will Never Hire You.

GRADUATE!
by Mark OToole - PR & content at HB Agency

O C

c N

M E

T N

E V

. R

ThE REAL wORLD AwAITS.

yOU yOUNG GRADUATES STORM ThE JOB BOARDS.

Bushy-tailed and excited,

Never mind the color of your parachute, some of you have

NO PARAchUTES AT ALL.

TO A hARD LANDING.

AND THaT CaN LEaD

Employers know that not all grads are created

EQUAL.

Sometimes we hire people like you into entry-level positions.

More often though, we dont.

BECAUSE

You are just

not the right t.

A more impressive candidate captured our attention.

OR YoU ARE SIMPLY A VICTIM oF SoME oTHER RANDoM EVENT oUT oF YoUR

I didnt post that picture.

BUT Too MANY oF YoU WHo HAD THE SKILLS AND CAPAbILITIES To MAKE THE CUT oR GET A SECoND INTERVIEW bLEW IT.

IN YOU TE R BR RV DIS OU IE A GH WI ST T y NG RO OU SK US DO IL WN LS .

why?

Is it you?

YoUR FAMILY SUPPoRT SYSTEM?

CA Y RE OU ER R SE SC RV HO ICE O S S LS TA FF ?

Whatever the reason, there are consistent themes as to why you didnt get the job.

This wont be the rst time youve heard these and it wont be the last, but as your class ourishes shiny new resumes in front of prospective employers, here are the top reasons why I will never hire you.

1.
IS LONGER THAN THAT OF A 25-yEAR PROFESSIONAL.

YOUR RESUME

I appreciate your desire to

showcase your classwork, high school accomplishments, extracurricular endeavors and your three marketing projects.

But I need

to see

clarity and denition in what you present.

Make it RELEVANT, make it CONCISE, make it FOCUSED.

AN OVERLY LONG RESUME DOES NOT IMPRESS ME.

(A ridiculously short resume is equally dangerous. Did you do anything besides attend class?)

YOU DIDNT PREPARE

FOR OUR INTERVIEW.

Youre probably a better internet surfer than I am, so why didnt you spend a few minutes gathering intelligence about me or my business?

X X X

d u o Y

o o l t idn

w y m at

. e t i s eb n o t u eo

m k c e h c o t . r d e e l t i t i a f w T u r o Y o n I : d s e e k v n e e Li p t e ld p o h y o m t n n r r a l a e l u e f l t t ; h n ct g d i a u t d o n You eye co ; give th tions. s e n e k o i u a t q a m t s l r u e c v n f i o d c o a t s r e answ

(IM NOT aLWaYS CONCERNED WITH YOUR aCTUaL aNSWER BUT RaTHER YOUR COMPOSURE aND THINKING PROCESS WHEN aNSWERING IT).

3
Q U

.
S T

O I

LOOK UP QUESTIONS TO ASK ONlINE.

questions grads should ask in an interview

Find 30 questions NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME.

SHOW ME HOW YOU GATHER INFORMATION.

Do you want me to think Im going to have to do the work for you, or that youll show up prepared every day?

YOU wROTE A ThANK yOU NOTE,

and only used it to thank me.

I ALSO ENJOYED OUR TiME TOGETHER, SO iNSTEAD OF JUST THANKiNG ME,

ADD VALUE.

USE YOuR NOTE (email or note/card are all ne nothing is not) TO SHOW YOuR PASSION FOR THIS JOB.

Reect upon what you learned in the interview.

Confirm why youre the candidate of my dreams.

YOU DRESSED FOR FAILURE.

MY WORKPLaCE IS CaSUaL,

Many ofces are these days.

at least most of the time.

But you should not be for an interview.

d n u n s e , k s t ee n r i o h w s t oa e , s c t o i n r i h a n c e , s w n a a e J y a m en y ou

(ev

re d ss co es e) ok and w out o other on r a clothi t c night cl ng ub ut

it .

I want to know what youll look like when I take you to see a client.

Show me that you understand this.

whAT yOU wANT

BUT WHEN YOU TELL mE THAT,

YOURE bASICALLY SAYING, PLEASE INVEST LOADS OF TImE AND mONEY INTO mE, AND mAYbE IT WILL HELP mE FIGURE OUT THAT I WANT TO DO SOmETHING ELSE.

o C
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YO

UR

REI

RES

NFO

Um

UL HO . E S IT E

RC

NOTE SHOULD HAMMER THE POINT HOME.

YOUR FOLLOW-UP

a ja ck , the j d
Im n all-t ot lo o r a post des king ing . (If for a wou I w jac ld h ere, k-o ave the fs a i d j ob so.)

Because Im not really into candidates who wont throw themselves 100% into the opportunity at hand.

YoU DoNT GET SoCIAL MEDIA

(BUT THINK YOU DO).

7.

I DONT EXPECT YOU TO BE AN EXPERT iN ANYTHiNG JUST GETTiNG OUT OF SCHOOL, BUT YOUR RESUME CLAiMS SOCiAL MEDiA EXPERTISE.

Dumb Tweeter
@dumbtweeter

Your eight tweets in the last six months are not signs of immersion. (And your regular use of #fuckinA isnt effective.)

YOUR BLANK PINTEREST pAGE IS LESS THAN COMpELLING.

Spelling Tumblr with an e says something

but not the right thing.

Dabble in social while at school for sure.

Tell me you have exposure to social networks.

EXpERTISE THAT DOES NOT EXIST yET.

Just dont try to impress me with

Y PR OU
OO D Did I FR DN nt EA T D.

d grammar
If you cant eliminate bad grammar or misspellings from your resume or cover letter, how can I expect you to write an error-free report for a client?

spellings from y me or cover let can I expect yo

YOU DONT
HAVE A LINKEDIN PROFILE

LiNKEdIN IS THE PLaCE tO

SHOWCASE
yOUR pROfESSiONaL SKiLLS, EVEN if tHEy aRE NaSCENt

. T ip SET I are lots of t it some love (there ) and give p to hel

HT line G I R UP s on

N . I ) e e r h t N r o A o w t r o O ( D

N R TE

P I SH

WHiLE tHiS iS mORE fOR tHOSE STILL IN SCHOOL THAN THOSE JUSt OUt, NOtHiNG maKES yOU MORE ATTRACTIVE TO ME THAN KNOwiNG yOUVE bEEN EXpOSEd tO a SimiLaR wORK ENViRONmENt.

Internships also help you decide if my job represents the right structure for you saving us both time and agony if it turns out you just dont like what we do.

I get 50-100 resumes each semester from new graduates. Those with internships sit well ahead of those without.

YOU LAcKED
profeSSional CoUrteSy!

You were TWO MINUTES LATE.

You LOOKED AWAY when you shook my hand

I iNtROdUCEd yOU tO my COLLEaGUE aNd yOU DIDNT EVEN aSK HER wHat SHE dOES.

WHY?

WHy wOULd I waNt tO EXpOSE yOU tO my CLiENtS?

YOU aNd yOUR famiLy HaVE iNVEStEd VaSt amOUNtS Of

TIME AND MONEY INTO GETTING YOUR DIPlOMA.

ITS A SMAll BIT OF EXTRA EFFORT TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT RUIN YOUR CHANCES IN THE INTERVIEW.

I wiLL HiRE SOmEONE I JUSt wONt HiRE yOU.

Job hunting is like a job unto itself.

You will get it right, but you need to work at it.
1. Make a right-sized resume its a door-opener only, not your one and only chance to get an interview. 2.  Interview prep makes you look like a rock star during our conversation. 3. Ask really good questions in the interview. It matters.

4. Use your promptly sent thank you note to reveal even more awesome stuff about why you make sense for this job. 5. 6. Dress up it will make you feel better during our meeting. Stay focused.

7.  Social media is mainstream but dont overplay it until you know where it ts, or doesnt t, in the job. 8. No typos!

9.  LinkedIn matters you become searchable, ndable and professional. 10. Internships set you apart (and give you great stuff for bullet #1). 11. Practice hand-shaking at home!

Mark OToole is managing director of PR & content at HB agency, a B2B marketing and communications rm with global clients in clean tech, medical tech and high tech. Despite the very true observations in the article above, Mark has hired countless talented PR pros over the last 15 years. Reach Mark at motoole@hbagency or on Twitter @markrotoole.
Design and layout courtesy of HBs Matt Gustavsen & Christine Tesseo.

To learn more about HBs branding, marketing and public relations expertise, please visit www.hbagency.com.