WHAT IS IT TO BE TRANSGENDER?

RAISING AWARENESS OF TRANSGENDER ISSUES

BOOK #1
Danielle Vickers. http://www.tacklingtransphobia.co.uk danielle@tacklingtransphobia.co.uk

Being transgender is not a lifestyle choice. Why on earth would anyone want to risk the harassment, abuse and potential of physical violence; not to mention the break-up of family and friends, by choosing to identify as transgender? Identifying as transgender is because that is how we are wired, and there is mounting evidence to suggest that hormonal development during pregnancy can cause sex / gender anomolies 1. It is a natural part in the development of the unborn child. And yet society has created a set of norms around sex and gender - male or female. If you dont fit in one of these options under the binary gender category, then you are seen as different, and all the stigma that comes with it. Times are changing though, and I hope that in some small way, the three booklets that make up this series raises awareness of the issues that transgender people face, and how, through inclusion society can benefit from it as a whole.

Danielle Vickers Tackling Transphobia

http://www.gires.org.uk/dysphoria.php

Working to create an inclusive society, embracing the diverse nature of individuals, and promoting equality.

UNDERSTANDING GENDER VARIANCE TERMS

Gender variance accounts for anyone that doesnt fit neatly into the male / female construct. You may come across terms such as transgender, agender, genderqueer, polygender, transsexual, transvestite, cross-dresser, intersex and so on. There are many, many labels that people use to describe themselves and to a large extent that is the crux of it. It is how they describe themselves. Labelling someone is hugely contentious, and many terms that were in use a decade ago are no longer thought of as acceptable. These days the term transgender tends to be used as a catch-all term that includes anyone who exhibits, or has, some level of gender variance. Within that over-arching term, one may be a transwoman, a transman, or if a person describes themselves as a cross-dresser then that is fine but do not assume that everyone will identify with that label. So, what is the safest term to use if you do not want to cause offence to the individual? The best thing is to ask if you are not sure. The safest and accepted standard is to use the relevant pronouns based on how the person is presenting themselves.

A transman relates to a person who has been assigned female at birth but identifies as male. A transwoman relates to a person who has been assigned male at birth but identities as female. These definitions are somewhat simplistic, because they may or may not account for those who have transitioned; and under current definitions a person who has transitioned, or is transitioning, does not need to have undergone any medical surgery.

SEX, GENDER & SEXUAL ORIENTATION

Telling others that you are transgender usually evokes the same set of questions; one of those is Are you gay?. This one question, innocently meant, shows the level of misunderstanding around what it is to be transgender. The misunderstanding between sex, gender and sexual orientation. To avoid any confusion, lets just define what we mean by each of those variables; in fact, the word variable is actually a good one to use as we shall see. Sex: the biological make-up of the body, designated at birth as either male, or female. But lets not forget intersex too. Gender: the psychological recognition of oneself1 is about your own perception of who you are, and how you would like others to perceive you. The societal norms are, of course, man and woman - but what if you perceive yourself to be neither of these (agender), or relate to both, or more one than the other? Gender should not be seen as the binary division that it is currently, but as a fluid concept, a continuum along which any person can exist. What is it to be male / a man, or female / a woman, anyway? Sexual orientation: this refers to who you are attracted to, but again what is it to be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, etc.? What if a person who identifies as a transman is attracted to a woman? Each of these terms has been neatly compartmentalised into either male / man or female / woman by society, yet this does not reflect the reality and the diverse nature of that society.

http://www.gires.org.uk/dysphoria.php

MY TRANSGENDER LIFE
Fortunately, times are changing and transgender people are becoming more accepted or perhaps that should be tolerated(?), within society. Danielle, from Tackling Transphobia, tells us her story of what it is like to grow up knowing that youre different At the tender age of 5, I knew I was doing something wrong, something that was not acceptable, and that I must not tell anyone about. That something was the irresistible urge to wear womens clothing. I wanted to be a girl, and yet I was not. And so starts the fear, anxiety and stress of being caught, of being found out and being ostracised by what I am. By the time I am in my teens, I cant imagine spending my entire life in the male role, but that is what society expects of me. I am withdrawn, still hoping that I will grow out of it, but knowing deep within me that will not happen. At 16, I stand in front of a mirror having shaved my legs, done my make-up and wearing a dress I found in my mothers wardrobe; and I know that is the real me looking back. Yet the fear of coming out is still strong, my peer group would never accept me if I did come out, and I feel forced to conform to what society expects. The paranoia grows each time I dress, scared of being caught; I close the curtains so no-one can see into the house, I turn the lights off, I refuse to answer the door. In the end, I write a letter to my mother telling her; Im about to join the Army and she tells me that that will sort me out . Three years later and I have bought myself out of the Army because Im even more scared of being found out. I get married, have a wonderful daughter.. Then it all falls apart. I lose just about everything and find myself alone again. But I am more free to be myself and explore how I feel about my confusing gender status. Then I meet a lovely woman, purge everything and get married. But the gender dysphoria is still there, and it returns, over the years it grows stronger but now it is even harder to deal with. I am glad that I told my new wife about the little bit of crossdressing that Id done. Over time that changed, and she felt that I had lied to her, she is scared that I will leave her to transition fully, and I spend more and more time as Danielle. The internal battle continues, Im so happy being me, being Danielle, and yet Im aware that Im hurting my wife... Thats why I started Tackling Transphobia I know first hand what it is like to be confused, scared and anxious about your gender; frightened of verbal abuse, harassment and the chance of physical attack because of it. Tackling Transphobia is about raising awareness of transgender issues, but also helping those that are transgender. It is about working to change society through the workplace. It is about being accepted.

Plants are fashioned by cultivation, man by education

Emile, Jean-Jacques Rousseau.

Tackling Transphobia was founded by Danielle Vickers, herself transgender, to work with organisations, businesses and groups in raising awareness of transgender issues. Danielle can work with you to create, facilitate or enhance your equality, diversity and inclusiveness programme through workshops, group discussions, 1:1 talks or speaking engagements. Rather than referring to the law, Danielle prefers to take a more personal approach to raising transgender issues, using her own experience to explain about the emotional aspects regarding being transgender, what it means to hide a core component of yourself away from everyone, what it means to be open about it, and why its so important for the individual but also to the workplace. Danielle also runs the Tackling Transphobia group on LInkedIn, and the Tackling Transphobia website. Danielle is a qualified teacher (QTLS, M.IfL) and holds a Certificate in Education and an Honours Degree in Post-Compulsory Education & Training from the University of Southampton. She is a qualified assessor of vocational achievement and a certificated mentor for Cert. Ed. / PGCE programmes.

danielle@tacklingtransphobia.co.uk @TG_Danielle www.tacklingtransphobia.co.uk

USEFUL LINKS

Discrimination: Your Rights Equality Act 2010 Gender Recognition Act 2004 Good practice guidelines for the assessment and treatment of adults with gender dysphoria. GIRES, the Gender Identity Research and Education Society has a number of useful documents available from its website for employers... Changing for the better Transition at work ...and for schools, see these documents. Wipe Out Transphobia Please look out for Book 2: Dealing With Gender Dysphoria In Education and Book 3: Dealing With Gender Dysphoria In The Workplace. Contact Danielle for further information.

Working to create an inclusive society, embracing the diverse nature of individuals, and promoting equality.

Produced by:

Tackling Transphobia Farnham, Surrey.

Version: 2.0 November 2013