Jason Pierre Pastor Karl New Testament 11/06/2013 Bible Study on Conflict Resolution Segment A: Keys to Avoiding Conflict

1.) 2 Corinthians 10:5, 7- Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing in captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Do you look on things after the outward appearance? If any man trust to himself that he is Christs let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christs even so are we Christs. Comment: A lot of conflicts that arise between people are due to perceived wrongs as opposed to intentional wrongs. Instead of suspecting that someone has done you wrong, it is a good idea to give the person the benefit of the doubt when he or she exhibits questionable behavior because love thinks no evil.(1 Corinthians 13:5) 2.) James 1:19-20- Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Comment: Someone once said that God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we should listen twice as much as we speak. If our feathers are ruffled, our first response should be to give the person the benefit of the doubt and pray to the Holy Spirit for self control(for the fruit of the Spirit is temperance; Galatians 5:22-23) instead of immediately giving the person a piece of our minds. As the verse says, anger never produces righteousness within another person. 3.) Ephesians 4:32- And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted forgiving one another, even as God for Christs sake hath forgiven you. Comment: One of the most essential keys to avoiding conflict is to be constantly aware of the amount of times God has forgiven YOU for your countless failures and mistakes. It is only as we thus keep this in mind that we will be lead to deal tenderly with our neighbors. 4.) Ecclesiastes 7:8-9- Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Comment: With time, situations can turn out better than they have started. Our first response to an unpleasant circumstance should not be anger. Instead we should imitate Jesus who did not revile when He was reviled but committed Himself to the One who judges rightly. See 1 Peter 2:23. 5.) Proverbs 20:19- He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips. Comment: Proverbs 26:22 makes it very clear that gossiping really wounds people deeply. Therefore, if you are prone to gossip, it would be best that you avoid people who have a tendency to gossip and pray the Holy Spirit to bridle your tongue.

Segment B: Resolving Conflicts 6.) Leviticus 19:18- Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the LORD. Comment: If we find ourselves in a situation where we are at conflict with someone else, it is not our place to hold a grudge or to give that person what we think would be his or her just recompense. As Romans 12:19 says, vengeance belongs to God. 7.) Proverbs 19:11- The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Comment: If the conflict you are in is such that you can overlook the wrong or slight that was done to you, then by all means do so. Avoid getting angry with the person and remember that God forgives us as we forgive those who trespass against us.(Matthew 6:12). 8.) Matthew 18:15-16- Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with the one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. Comment: Jesus tells us that if someone offends us, the best way to deal with the conflict is to FIRST AND FOREMOST go to that person alone(without talebearing the incident to anyone else) and try to see if you can communicate your perceived fault to the guilty party in the humility of Christ. If this approach does not work out, then, and only then, can you bring either one or two more people into the situation with the purpose of resolving the conflict. Be sure to avoid forcing the offending person into a corner or making them feel reproached in this situation.

9.) Luke 17:3-4- Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. Comment: Jesus clearly tells us that we are to rebuke someone if they have wronged us. Since we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, we should so frame the rebuke that we would be comfortable with being on the end of the rebuke. Moreover, if the guilty party repents, our duty then is to freely forgive the individual and avoid cherishing bitterness or reminding that person of the way he or she may have hurt you. 10.) Matthew 5:44-45- But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Comment: In the case of the event that the guilty party has no desire to reconcile, our duty is to reflect the character of our heavenly Father. We should not cherish any resentment, but should love and pray for the offending person and remember that God loved us even when our ways were perverse and forward. By doing this, God has permission to work and soften both you and the persons heart so that His will may ultimately be done in the end.