Not Going Back

Wednesday, April 17, 2013 11:05 PM

Not going back to days when niggas selling crack was who I hung with. Wearing too big britches, ran by bitches, and whose mothers are snitches. Can't stich a thing, but got a grown as baby sucking on her tits. I hung with the dumb rich, hood rich, and the wish they were rich. I Ran streets in hot cars with hot boy wanna bes. Mamas babys, papas maybes, Like Nicki said, "I b-eez in the trap". I used to hang in traps, smoking weed as if, Cops don't kick doors in. What was I thinking? Probably about my ministry. To set captives free sometimes I had to Go somewhere, or do something un-seemingly, To get one person's attention. Who I never knew the who, or what or why. I just had a feeling in my gut that made me get up And do something. To do something for Christ don't mean that it looks neat and pretty. Sometimes someone must go where no one else will. And do what no one else wont To get at least two more ears to listen And God uses the most unusual things To bring every knee to bow and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. God will prove himself. There is no going back to niggas caught in the trap. Life wrapped up in a bunch of stufff! Just don't matter what a man say There is no going back. I said that when I packed my bags. I started this time a year ago. I just did not say a thing about it, except to whom it mattered. Today I stand in a place that I projected myself into. Just to protect the part of me that is left.

My heart. And I still pray for wisdom to know what to do, But I ain't going back. To no grown ass boy with raggedy braids, sagging pants, And the hat to the back. I don't have time for that. I refuse to go back to hang in traps No matter what it's housed in I will not stand naked before a king who Wants to dominate, Take away what is left Of my pride To God I run The enemy's plan Did not advance me, It did not promote my dream to achieve Love, peace and happiness. I sought the opposite, Because I was tired of it. My consciousness I tried to do away with. But she came out all the time, After some time had past And when she spoke with authority, All those things had to flee In the name of Jesus. I had to come out of the darkness I hid in. I let go of the life of sin And now practice patience. Faithfulness with rest.

What I Want to say but don't (at least not out-loud)

Tuesday, April 2, 2013 10:33 PM

I always hear about how you smoking on that loud. Proud of your baby, I guess it helps you to slow the pace. The race you running is slow, plus the participants are scarce. Baby you know love like mine is rare. I always hear how you want to go there, but can you handle it? I mean past the porno channel. Can you get past first base? The first three levels of the chakras are limited in the sacrum. Eating crumbs from your table, reminds me of dogs. They bark and growl as if it intimidates a weak human. I understand beyond what I say. Sometimes it is wise to let your words be few. But too many times I have said too few words to you. Now you walking around empowered by my strength, Which you seem to need. Seems as if your heart bleeds pain, rejection and suffers from too little protection. Just a few things I detect. You fail to be tender, fail to surrender, fail to enter into agreements. You lack sentiment, but seem to want love and affection. Yet you too consumed with you to get into the truth. Can you back up what you pack up? Mandingo never needed to bring a ring to the ring, It was just another thing. Too bad it was a waste of your time. What will you receive in the end if you too afraid to trust? You can bust nuts, but not securely thinking about I instead of you or we.

Slowly I'm seeing something I never wanted to. I'm not feeling you like that. Too many things I find wack about the sex. Too rigid, too stiff, too inconsistent on the moves. And then you have the nerve to think I'm trying to trap you. That's crazy, since when did you become all that? Like I been saying, Sex will ruin our friendship. And I don't like seeing you insecure, it makes me feel uneasy. So we can chill on splitting bills and what we doing. I'm just not that into you. I'm just not that into love-less-ness. Everything I do, I put my love into it. I cannot stand to deprive myself of happiness and wealth. I believe in health and prosperity, and I am not lonely. I am always with myself, yet never alone. I know where I belong, and that heaven is my home. Fear will not rob me of who I am, or what is mine. It all belongs to me, and what I own, I receive freely.

Raw Foods
Thursday, April 4, 2013 3:34 AM

Your touch is like organic carrots eaten uncooked, sweet with raggedy ends, But Unlike the kind I find in Walmart's produce section. Your words are like greens undercooked and unsalted, Good for me but hard to chew past the bitterness. Your tact, and discipline I need like peas and carrots, Sweet for me to remember myself again as prosperous, And you bust up all the niggardly things I used to so often disregard. Sometimes I am stingy with the wrong things. Sometimes I get so into me that I forget to eat food that nourishes me. Now presently you stand before me and I see exactly what I need. I need to eat. I need to think. I need to be happy with me. And for once in my life I see myself strive to thrive, and not just survive. I am so thankful to be alive and healthy, that after praying and praising God, I get hungry for food. Fruit and vegetables are all we need, yet I still consume junk food. French fries and potato chips, chicken tenders and nuggets, and wings. MmmmI love those things. But coffee and soda, even sprite is not good for me. Water is what I need most. I am not sure why I pretend for it to be any other way. Today I want to quit smoking and tomorrow I smoke again. I repent and try again. It's better than giving in to not trying. I shall live and not die. My wealth must exist within myself first for that is the way that I prayed, When I was nineteen. I told my Creator that I wanted to be real. I wanted to know poverty before riches so that I never forget where I come from. I wanted to earn my wealth by working at my heart, using art to transform minds. I did not want to get rich by using my body. I want to use my gifts to uplift those who suffer from blindness, illness, or prison. To restore them to wholeness, I had to be made whole again.

And now it is time for the woman in me to arise and stand.

Let's Not
Monday, April 15, 2013 9:07 PM

Let us not get hot Your dick don't need to get filled with blood And my heart will feel no love And I won't sweat as long as there is no heat Between my legs. I won't get mad or be sad if we do not Rob each other of enjoyment. You and I are no heaven sent relatives. These relations we having will not lead to Multiple orgasms nor spasms Between them sheets. I won't be wetting them sheets to the point of Drenching the mattress. Don't worry, you will never have to flip the mattress over. Because you and I will never be lovers. And that is cool. He is waiting patiently for me to come back to his tongue That he calls home. I know where I belong and it is not on an individualistic cock. A dick that cannot match my rhythm. A selfish ass penis that did not take a class in pleasing anybody. Just wants to get knocked off like it's a privilege for his dick to be in me. Please, keep that to yourself, or help someone else that don't mind That kind of primitive expression of desire That never elevated. Don't accuse me of hating, because I ain't making up a story. Just telling the truth as you show it. Let's not do it, because since high school I dismissed screwing and losing. You can keep all those rules and I refuse to pay dues. This is not a sorority nor a fraternity where we will be forever linked up. Keep your stuff to yourself. You old boorclumsy, insensitive and insecure man.

For Real though

Monday, June 10, 2013 5:34 PM

A real nigga is my preference He I used for a reference He mad because he see the difference In my presence I guess he didn't like the lesson I was teaching, He smiled like he was listening, While he was thinking his own thoughts And I kept on reading those books While He kept dissing. Actually threw me out of his apartment. I thank the Lord anyway, Because he made a way, For me to live in my own space for free. Then he lifted me to another level, Increased my pockets, Enlarged my territory, Now his small brain compartments Are out of sort. He can't seem to abort His plan to conquer and dominate me, Now all he do is hate on me. Use anything to get me to pay attention But I can't I might have to extinguish his Last flicker of fire just for bothering me. But instead I keep silent. Steady dancing because I hear music in My head and I smile all the time now. My hips poke out on the side now, I'm no longer looking anorexic or sick.

Now he sick and he don't like it. All I see are those last words he said, Sad because he really did not know. He really could not see me. He could never have been listening, Except I guess to accuse me, After I refuse to let him abuse me. Four years of court orders has taught me Something, I need to know how to read, And pray and keeping talking to someone who knows. Increase in faith and breathe. God is in control.

Next Choice
Saturday, April 27, 2013 10:40 AM

Next choice is a product I took Perhaps so that I could Pretend to overlook facts and the act About the pill I just took While the shot in my left shoulder was still in effect, Yet he appeared in my room at four a.m. to be exact, As if a pill would seal the deal between me and him. Little did he know I went to the pharmacy to avoid going to some table to Get a baby sucked out of me. But I knew that I never considered before birth control as something I did. But I did have a third baby irresponsibly. No matter how cute and pretty she may be, I was not thinking about carrying a pretty baby on my hips. I was just chilling with some homeboy I was familiar with, Just hanging out never thinking about him touching me. The day that it happened it's clear as a blurry day in spring. He touched me and I knew that he shouldn't have. I knew that this was not good, I felt it. I woke up threw up and told him at the door, "No no no, no more". He kissed me, and I was not feeling him at all. I was like sick to my stomach, ending up sick for nine months. It was a hot mess. And I really did not want to tell a soul, I kept it in. Until the judge said, "Not him". Him that I cussed out because he cussed me out for telling him That it was him when he knew I got mad if the condom slipped off. I said it was he because I was ashamed to admit what I had done. That I had slept with him, he disgusted me. And I felt that way until, she was eighteen months,

Then I had to look at him, past the outfit, the glasses, the teeth, and his stinky feet, Live in a nasty crowded apartment in the hood, That I had to keep clean, Because his momma would show up and speculate, regulate, always hate, And walked around there like she had a cape. He had a lack of hygiene regimen problem, no need to go there because I am not petty, but I am just saying, "My nigga, I ain't used to that". All along he thought he was getting "Sex in the morning over by the stove, all day and all night, from me. And I was like "Seriously? Nigga please, I ain't used to this?" I removed myself from him and the negativity he was bringing. I stepped away to get together with me, seriously. But the next choice had a strong voice in how I started. Yet I know who knows me from the beginning until the end. On him I depend. But my friend in another state, Yes I got away to what I was used to. The whole time my old man/baby daddy used to curse me out, really bad and in the worst way. It was as if a part of him hated me for not wanting him. I would stand there looking at him the whole time thinking, "Nigga this is what I could not imagine happening to me, ever in my life. This is exactly what I am talking about. This is why I do not like you. I don't fool with people like you". "Will you please leave", I would say, calmly. He just didn't get it. I did not like enough about him to trust him. If that makes sense to you, imagine me. This man and I have a child together because At the right time for her presence here, She was conceived. She is beautiful and smart. Oftentimes I regret the sex I had with someone I knew not to have sex with. This is no excuse. It's a puzzling question constantly in my mind. It's a thin line between heaven and earth. It was my choice to choose birth over dilation and suction. I was deeply thinking because she was the third child. But I had a hard time getting pregnant with a second child, that I could not just say, "See you in heaven". Had plenty of sisters saying, "Girl I would not have that". She was conceived after some suspicious situation, You know what I am saying. I felt bad because my doctor suggested I get an IUD just nine months before. But it is a sin to regret so I deal with it. Though he has cussed me out plenty of times, I still find peace within myself knowing I have all I need. Always did. I know that I have riches stored up for me in heavenly places. My gift of speech is not just this rhyming thing I do. I only can give you a pinch of this 10 inches of my mind I use to talk.

I don't have time to use my mouth to tell you all I see or know. So my next choice for copulating will be with a mate who understands like my next of kin. He will not be afraid of God. He will be open to trust. He will be worthy of my love. He will appreciate and cherish my body, mind, soul and spirit. When God speaks he will hear it. Where the presence of the Lord is, he will be near it. So I will not have to fear love and trust.

Thank Him First

Friday, March 8, 2013 5:08 PM

Though it hurts my ability to reason That faith has chosen to anoint me for this season, I go on with my head set like a flint I shall not be moved Though fear wants to consume me I will not lose what God has for me. I stand and stand therefore, Having my loins girt about with strength. The race is not given to the swift, But to the one who endures until the end. Victory came when I said amen. These circumstances do not confine me I am not lost in the world I am not consumed with consumerism It is a deadly dis-ease Therefore I stay on my knees praying. Through things and in things, And I wait until he speaks to me. I wait on his teaches. He always causes me to triumph What I don't want has to flee. Jesus at the cross on Calvary already did it for me. Therefore I have no worries, For I cast all my cares On my ever present help in time of need. The mighty one who will never Never, ever leave me nor forsake me.

Sunshine Upside Down

Monday, March 25, 2013 9:42 PM

Your conversation ripped into mine And it was like our minds intertwined deliberately. Understanding was the key factor keeping us awake Waiting for a day to come. Now day has come and we have come to You speaking as if I rejected you As if you don't see the truth. You are just not that into me. At least not what I could think is best for me forever. Yet for infinity we on contract to make contact The natural course of our relationship consist of A military like disciplined like life. Maybe if I were a wife I could understand, But you said that I am not the one. You have not hugged me since the day I came here. Now we live together in separate rooms. You want me to let you put it in, As if you ran my bath water and washed my back. As if you bought me bath and body works. What do you think I am worth? Work and cooking and cleaning and submitting to You felt rejected, though you had a condom, I felt unprotected. You said call your daddy, I said I am Meaka. You like, "what does that mean?" I smile, hmmgot that Meaka-sense.

I go along to get along and then I get it in. It is my way or the high way. Either way I win. I am not your bait, and I am not one to debate. I don't have to hate or take away from the next man. In fact I help my fellow man whenever I can. Too bad many men can never appreciate me until I leave. Then they cleave to those moments that we can never get back. I am a child of a king, therefore I shall not lack no good thing. God, Almighty, the Most High, he goes before me and none can stand against me.

Reasonable Hip Hop

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 5:15 PM

He said, "What's wrong with your pussy?" I say, "The same thing wrong with my empty left hand." ( "If you like it you should have put a ring on it.") Then right after that I gave in. Yep I let him (dive in). Just like sometimes my English is not correct. I have a defect within me. Sometimes my whirlpool need some stimulation, Penetration, not masturbation. Sometimes a yearning overcomes me and (I like my kisses down low) And he had what I wanted, (he got a big d*** and) I had to see if (he could put it down right). Afterwards I was like that was not what I was expecting. Hmmit took the fun out of my guessing. Next time I tried just to see what I did not like The first time. It was not bad, butthis is going to be something else. It's like he could see something for a long time and I just now get a visual of our audible sounds. And I want to pretend like I did not know What was going on, but he made me look at him. And these lights in my eyes shine all the times I'm not madso he has a problem with that. Kind of. I need some glasses, he will really be mad then. Put that granny look on him for real. But without the smile he hates. Hit him with the teacher look. Let him know I know what is up, no matter what He think I ignore, I am not ignorant. I am building a case, like a paralegal. And then when the judge appears, so will the lawyer in me speak.

Now Listen
Monday, March 4, 2013 5:55 PM

Now listening is so hard to do. Discipline is what I need, Yet it is why I flee. Afraid like a girl I often find myself speechless. I go away to breathe correctly. Careful not to intrude, Nor to project myself into you. I try to stay in my way, But I guess my lane is what makes me lame. It's not me, but she the girl creeping in, And she and you do not get along. She has to go, but how do I extend my withered hand. Fear can no longer do what it has always done. God's wisdom in my thoughts help me to Not get caught up in bondage again To another man, or another's plans. I got to submit to truth And truth of the matter is I need to need you like I do. And this truth is wrapped around me like a glow. I enjoy your energy enlightening me. Causing me to trust the God above more than I ever imagined was possible. Now what I never imagined to be dirty is clean. Victory is no longer a mystery to my commission. For my purpose has been defined in the mission before my eyes. Now I enter willingly, instead of resisting, I am submitting. God is before me living, and I witness his power manifesting in and around me. Fear has to flee, right along with its agents. Heaven sent is a song I sing every morning.

Feelings
Saturday, March 2, 2013 9:45 PM

I was just saying how it should be, even on t.v. Half-heartedly believing that it is possible, Yet I had hope in what I could not see, Now I often find myself smiling, in spite of Tough how love kind of sneaks in In between pictures of moments in life. Hmmm.just breathing, not ungrateful, but I have buts that just don't make sense right now. Time has become the one beat in my eardrum, And the filling in my heart, the essential part. It is obvious we beyond start, To me that seems the unfair part. But God is justice, and he just knows. More than I could try to know; Knowing that Now is this present moment We exist in readiness. Heaviness is seeking a familiar space in my home, And I have none Yet to be demon-free, feels like I have escaped feelings, Now I reel in truth in reality, And I am hated for this sense Yet I persist in representing God in human, And my fellow man takes from me, Instead of relenting, I find myself repenting, I can't leave! I have invested in my life savings, which is not based on capital, but principle. Disagreements are not simple things to disregard, Now I have to work hard.

Add On
Friday, March 8, 2013 2:37 PM

Got to add on, Can't run on Home is where I create it Make it become what I need. I used to think it was a man, But my own two hands still stand for me. Prosperity has been the fear that I dread, Yet wisdom stands above my head Commanding and demanding That angels move the four winds Until my gifts in heaven descend on me After my prayers ascend and I say amen He begins to complete the plan he started. I just repent and submit to replenish The gifts he has given me That will make room for me. Why do I get so afraid and flee? Why do I let negativity bother me, When I know who wrote my story. It is mine. The kingdom of heaven is within me. Jesus told me, it all belongs to me. Why should I trip or feel discouraged? Jesus is my portion. A constant friend is he. His eyes are on the sparrow, And I know he watches me. I sing because I am happy. I sing because I am free. Whom the sun has set free is free indeed. Indeed I am at liberty to be what I think possible. For nothing shall be impossible unto God.

Pumped by the Want

Friday, March 8, 2013 5:07 PM

Pumping water from a fountain instead of sipping Has me tripping a little Especially when I see it trickles. Seems like I must know a secret riddle, That will put my body in the middle Of the stage, where the spot light exist. As I exit from behind the curtains in the wings, I'm breathing slowly as I know This moment is for me For me to see, For me to smell as if it is the first time. It is beyond a rhyme my mind searches My word bank to find. I find timedoes not stand still, Yet it still moves until I submit to its control. I am pumped by my wants Has me seeing angels traveling to and fro And I exist in the know I know who goes before me, I know who opens doors that cannot be shut. I know he that is, that was, and that is to come. I shall overcome. I am transformed by the renewing of my mind. I put on the righteousness of God. And all things are added unto me. And I live a life like a light, A city set on a hill, And I cannot be hidden.

In Between
Saturday, March 9, 2013 6:15 PM

I'm in between Trusting and giving I'm so used to being about me I now feel uncomfortable Caught in between. A fantasy and a prayer, Now what I imagined has come I am in between a run-on and a period. Waiting is such a task, But only God could make it last. I put him in between like drywall and paint. Two rooms contain two bodies. In between do and don't Can and cannot Will and will not Should and should not How do we step lightly Breathe righteously Hold sacred things sacred Seek the divine I just want to live right. But my vagina be like speaking her own language. His penis is like saying something too. Our heads are like one side likes you. But then to get in means to be in A word that ends in lower case "e", as in excellent, And begins with L And O V E in between connect us Like one instead of two. What will we do after? Will we be in between Ecclesiastes And the song of Solomon? Who knows how this tree will grow. I just know how I long to be like Proverbs 3 and 1. To acknowledge the son of God As Christ, and his light I have inside. His blood covers me as I make cosmic journeys

Like Ezekiel, Prophecy like Isaiah. Dream and Interpret like Daniel. Praise like David, trust like Job, And believe it is love like Ruth, stay true. Let I Corinthians 13 be the truth I project. Let Revelations open my ears to hear. And I pray God cause my feet to move Where the Spirit of the Lord is, For there is liberty. I am not saying I am like overly-righteous, But when you and I come together, There is no just us. And when we come and come to our senses, Then what will we be sensing? Will it be what we are missing now? I always thought a man seeks God in wombs. My womb has no room to soothe someone who Has no plans-forever for me.

Never ever
Monday, March 25, 2013 8:34 AM

I never felt so right Never been touched like this. It's deep how thoughts grow Seeds sown makes me reap blessings Lessons manifest destiny in the midst Understanding and wisdom is surreal Once you live through what does not kill you There is a hope that cannot be ignored. The more I want, the more I receive. My God is the king of glory. I am soaking up his enlightenment Bathing in the light he brings to my life. I never seen the sun shine like this before. I never felt so good, so right. This is like the dream I was thinking So long that it is like my t.v. came on.

I am happy when you kiss me on the cheek, I think life is sweet. I often laugh when I think of you, So unique. For me to think of a man and smile. It makes me feel blessed, To see myself better. In your reflection, I perceive a more excellent part of me. Not that you are perfect, Yet I could never forget that You are beautifully and wonderfully made.

In My Heart
Thursday, May 23, 2013 4:08 PM

Idealistically you and I are the reality I keep seeing and believing in. I don't want to sin so I hold it all in Until it is time to release that sacred part of me. You what I need, and it took me so long to see. Everything could never be in you or me, alone. Now that we have grown past our past We laugh constantly like we kids. O how I love it. These memories keep me going. These lyrics keep flowing into my mind Touching my ears and ministering to my heart. You are my type, give me a reason to right my wrongs. My ears keep hearing a song that is a decade long. Egotistically I am feeling like being honest totally. There are no buts or excuses or room for limits. How I see is beyond what I feel or know. I am so in love that I rise above my thoughts. I promise to not get caught up in a bunch of junk that don't matter. I believe our latter shall be greater than the present. Your presence in my life is heaven sent. I am loving this new way of living. The spirit within me is seeking a holy way for me. Higher living as I look to the hills from which cometh my help The maker of heaven and earth.

Missed waters I never tasted, yet There is this lingering thing, like I missed out again, like fear is overcome Because questions come That I cannot answer, yet. Left are memories I should forget, maybe. Could I say it was just a dream or a lesson. I hope it becomes a blessing for that which is to come. I hope I have enough faith to believe that all things are possible, Even what I dare not speak. I just have a few words and a lot of smiles. I remember it like it was yesterday, And I miss what that was and I like how it is So much that I have nothing bad to say About how I feel today I'm in the midst of the family that I have always protected And loved and cared for so much that I had to see What it would be like to live away for a few days And come back refreshed. Ready to take on the road before me that will be the step I need To travel all over the land, Living a life I only dreamed I would achieve.

Wishing on stars
Monday, July 15, 2013 7:50 PM

Wishing on stars took me as far as the earth is from heaven Heaven I remember it as I get older, Like I speak bolder, I know I am not much lower than an angel. This confidence is from conversation within with the holy spirit, The spirit of truth, gives wisdom when I listen. I rarely speak what we think of together. It's private, yet he is urging me to come out from hiding. It's my calling, calling me to step up to the microphone. Calling me to venture out beyond my britches, and expand my riches. Think above see God creates love and be it. Dream and do the work to achieve it. See it all by faith first, since he knows my beginning and end.

Body Parts
Tuesday, April 9, 2013 3:02 AM

Her body was a work of art. She had all the pieces placed perfectly All the men talked about her body parts as if They would or could touch it. I bet they did not know how much it cost her to maintain it. All the unusual arrangements she made, To appear as the most to the most. Hocus pocus was her focus at a time. She understands science and alchemy like a witch. She hops on brooms that appear to be a dance. But she puts you in a trance. And she goes around and around that pole. As sh-e gyrate hips in front of us, she flashes symbols About her worship. Her body it belongs to not she, nor her husband, But her band of demons have possessed her whole-ness She sold her soul to be in that body though, men crave. Men that will never come near enough to smell her, She let the make-up artist sculpt her face. The hairstylist covers her head. Then there is someone for feet and someone for hands. A doctor for all her different needs. Then she has the stomach crew. They stand on guard to tell her the who, what and when to chew. The vagina crew remind her of her clock. The breast people keep her up-to-date on the latest. By the time the back staff begin to wrap on tape and labels She barely has enough left to have a piece of herself. But she has to be number 1 B and the way she did it was obvious. In twenty years will she be happy? Will her flower be blue and naked, swinging from poles? Who knows how much money she made. She was made and there will always be someone to remind her. Keep her in, and real out.

She learned early to trust and obey. She went along to get along, Now she goes alone in dark groves Doing any-thing to keep bringing it. Got so much money she tired of spending it.

Every Other Saturday

Saturday, May 18, 2013 10:50 AM

I regret it. Since 2004 Every other Saturday I find myself alone, As if I don't have kids. Every other Saturday I get to be alone And when I want I can leave and be. I know no other single mothers like me. I appreciate whatever took place between the three. Whatever happened that separated me from them, I call it fate. They count and hate Forgetting their part in the planning. I silently laugh through my smile They never understand why I smile all the time. Because the sun is always shining. When they throw darts I resort to a testimony. Or a proverb or psalm I read To weigh what they say against the scales I remember my king of glory shall come in And I give it to him. He told me to cast all my cares on him. For he cares for me. I seek his kingdom constantly. I make mistakes and I repent. I ask for wisdom often and frequently, And he works it out for my good. I know there is no good I do, but believe. Through Christ I see all things.

Transformed
Saturday, August 24, 2013 2:43 PM

I am transformed not conformed to this world I am no longer a girl, I have given birth to three nations I have plans to leave an inheritance to the next generation Today I work my land with my hands And eventually I will do what others cannot I am unstoppable and cannot be stopped. My body will rock to beats that tighten muscles My current struggle will look like a grain of sand When I find myself eating good off my own land, plans and God will send angels to motivate humans to bless me With service and all that I need.

No Limits
Friday, August 23, 2013 10:39 PM

There will be no limits This road I am on is endless I entered this to win this Man's word does not limit me With God before me I see All things, I am that I am is inside His word I hide In my heart My start did not began with no man My end will be me facing my King of glory. Therefore no man will get the glory. These issues I go through temporarily Momentarily will not have me in a state to act involuntary. I will not slaughter, I will not kill, But I will heal with my greatest asset and I know it will be on my knees praying Interceding for others who feel a need to settle. Out of the gratitude of my heart, My mouth will speak words that repair the breach My angels move for me, So I know no defeat. The Holy Spirit inside me causes me to hear. Blesses me to adhere to the power of God. God speaks to me through nature. Anything in its natural habit, praises God. Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord.

I am not a bomb
Friday, March 8, 2013 3:03 AM

I will not be living on the streets, Humbled to eating amongst pigs like Joseph did; His own brothers sold him into slavery, Yet he overcame and lived his dream, His brothers did come and bow down to him eventually. And he was merciful, and humble, and kind to his brothers. I need to be the same way, a servant. Joseph had a gift of being humble, He was always in a position that he did not deserve, But the favor of God was with him all the days of his life. I need to get to my spot in the center of the stage. Where the light shines. When will I realize that this stage was made for me? The microphone was placed on me at birth, These circumstances do not undermine my self-worth. The God of the universe created me. Formed me and fashioned me in the womb of my mother. He carefully set up my life, from behind and before. When will I see? Packing my bags and leaving is not the option. I have a small size body that I keep contained. People guess it's drug related petite-ness. But it was due to stress. Now I eat more, worry less.

Thankful Praise
Wednesday, March 6, 2013 9:50 AM

Homeless No More
She stepped on the bus as if she knew where to go, Luggage and bags in tow, as if tonight she would know. Where to eat, for free, where to sleep, with no money. Where could she go when there is no hope? He stepped on the train with a brown suitcase and some bags, As if he were off to do laundry. He tipped his hat to me, and I looked away, Seeing another man trying to holla at me. I turned away from eyes that begged a prayer from me. Eyes that told stories about the hands that were too tired. Tired of being ready at all times. He just needed my empathy, and compassion and mercy to pray. She stood beside me at the bus stop, with an executive rolling suitcase. Standing there until she walked past me, then I noticed. She looked so clean, so smart, so sophisticated, yet something said she was without something she needed. I was so consumed with what I had to do, I noticed her after she walked past me. All this week, I have seen these same things. And I pray that today I get the wisdom I need to see. I pray that the holy Spirit would manifest. The God I serve is almighty where is he? He is still speaking softly. He has his angels all around me, protecting me And leading me to his green pastures. He sees me beyond the pastor's daughter, For he calls me daughter, drew me from many waters. The blood of his son is what I believe he sees when he see me. The blood of Jesus covers me and my atmosphere.

Therefore my praise keeps me safe. Like Paul I endure all things for the elects sake. I am sold out to Christ. I have a thorn in my side, yet I keep Jesus inside. Like Joshua I do not fear, I hide in the secret places of the most high. He causes me to a rise and shine, For the Glory of my God is risen upon me. No need to be afraid of man, nor creeping things, God goes before me.

In Spring April 1, 2013

Nature arises with the sun Spring comes with rings of light The four corners of earth pulled by angels singing Alleluia praises saturate the deep parts of earth. Birth happens again after the resurrection Memories penetrate the atmosphere No fear exist for existence is bliss. Heavenly doors open with overabundance of tokens. Goodness and mercy sown over seeds Flourish two thousand years later. Greater is love than anything for eternity. Forever and ever just got better. Intoxicating peace rest with mankind. Mindlessness releases imprisoned souls Wholeness produces lively visions of summer. Calling calmness of the kingdom to come. Readiness with hurriedness is the test. No stress will slow the pace. The race is won by those who endure. Determination rules the lost generation. Wisdom and understanding marry. Burdens are carried to the cross. The throne is in heaven with the 24 elders. Bowing before the king, for it is spring time.

I always lived in a world where there were words Others pushing and pulling me, Telling me stories that shaped my view Though my landscape stayed green, There were scenes that remind me Of my past experiences that lead to this block. So used to pushing stock around. Placing unworthy merchandise on book shelves. That I find myself eating my own words. Unpacking my bags stashed within me. The unspoken thinker, bread maker, soul winner I enter into a calm I been missing since I was a beginner.