I started this bait with my standard reply – largely ignore the lad’s script and reply

as though he’d sent a fan letter to my porn star character Bodil Joensen (the name
of a real porn star – now dead – famous for her farmyard porn movies who was from
Denmark, as is my baiting character, hence the bad english)

Helloinks Joy

Thanks you for your emails. I am always happy to hear from fans of my
movies especially ladies who writes to me. Are you of the liking animals too?

I am sorry to hear that you has the bad luck with father and war, that is sad,
but at least you has all his moneys to spend.

Maybe you will like my new movies which is come out on 12 July. I can has
two new movie and these are called "Hot Tiger Coupling" and other is "Draft
Horse Frolics". Both is out on DVD by Danskesmut Film and will be available
from any good adult shop. I am hopings that you are the liking them.

Love and Kisses

Bodil

XXX

Lad writes back and assuming he tries his story again he gets something like this:

Helloings Joy

I am the misunderstandings of your mail and was thinkings you are just write
me fan letter as I get lots fan letters from peoples who are the likings of my
films.

I always like to be helping out of my fans with their problems and gives the
advice as lots of fans want to get into acting and making adult film. I not
know lots about investings of money but adult film is big and growing and are
good investments I thinks. I know of peoples making films that are need
backers to hire big setsand expensive prop and good actors and well trained
animals if that will be the helping you as can tell you who make film and how
much they need and if I think film will be the doing well on markets.

Does that be help?

Kisses

Bodil

XXX
My lad then replied

Dear Boil,

I have read your mail and would be happy if you can get one that will be involved in my transaction but if
you can be part of it and invest the money on your fil business i will be happy.

I wait for your response.

Joy.

I didn’t slap him about the “boil” bit :-)

Helloing Joy

Well that is good and adult film is very profitable. I has been the speaking
with two of colleeg in business and they are saying with 50,000 Euro we
could make the very good film last 60 minutes and hire good private zoo
which is in country Hungary where they has the exotic animals which train in
sex with peoples and we do number in spreadsheet and we can makes 348%
profit on investment in 6 month even after the tax.

I think that is good investment.

We say we even put you in film if you like and give you break into porn acting
which is good career here in Denmark especially if you do special extreme
film. I has lots fans and make lots money from film, over 100,000 Euro last
year.

Let me be the knowings if you want to take part .

Kisses

Bodil

xxx

Lad:

Dear Bodil,

I want to be part of your film business and I want to know how we can go about it and what do you think if
we can use this my fund to invest on the film business? I want to be fast in concluding this business if you
are serious but where you are not I would have to look for another capable person to conclude it.

You know with over $4M that I have to invest if we put it into film business we will make so much money
after the whole thing.

Am waiting for your response.

Joy.
Me:

Helloings Joy

I am the glad you are finding my proposal good. Now for you to be the
investing we need to be getting you visa to come to Danemark or England as
business investor. My colleeg who are called Anthony Harrison is director of
Harrison Entertainment Holdings Ltd who are owners of Danskesmut DVD
which are company I make all fims for and we has to do contract where for
you invest some money, say 500,000 dollar over 2 year and there is the
agreement on how much you gets back and rights and other legal thing.

We also need to outline what movies should be and as investor you has to
read and approve script. If you like you can has go at write your own script - I
can the help yous with that.

And I hopes you is find me very serious when make film is concern. It also
lots of fun too as you will sees when you comes here.

Is that the OK with you. If is I get Mr Harrison to writes to you.

Kisses

Bodil

XXX

After introducing the idea of “Mr Anthony” the Bodil character started reporting on
conversations she was having with him about Joy, a UK work visa was sent and lad
started going on about needing money for passports and lawyers but after a while I
introduce character 2, Anthony Harrison in person

Hello Joy

I know that you have been lucky enough to be speaking with Bodil and we
are both really pleased to have you joining us as an investor.

Bodil is one of my top grossing stars and we have been discussing a couple of
new vehicles that can really show off her talents to the full. certainly with
your injection of funds we are able to push the boat out, quite literally, and
make something special which will be a step-change in the animal film
market. I know that these suggested plot outlines may sound outrageous
and I admit that filming them will not be straightforward but it is my instinct
that the animal porn business needs to move on from the usual dog and pony
show and break new ground and with the new training techniques and
animals coming out of Hungary and Latvia we are in a position to do this.
Obviously as we will be the first to market we will make the most money!

OK so here are three plot ideas. I would like you to consider these carefully
and give your thoughts on each of them (feel free to make suggestions) and
 pick which one you like the best. The titles are just working titles and we'll
come up with something better later.

1) "Circus" - a 3 ring circus set, we have continual action across all three
rings with the main story line flipping between successive acts but with DVD
extras concentrating on each ring. We'll start with just regular sex, straight
and gay, doing it on a trapeze, clown porn, the usual then ramp it up with
Bodil getting it off a Lion (we have one, he's called Samson, very tame) and
then getting spit roast by wild boar (actually they are normal pigs in make up
- no one will know); all the time we'll have a liberty horse act going on in
another ring with men and women doing horses and in the third ring I'll have
my two best studs doing a selection of exotic cats (leopard, tiger, ocelot - I
can hire them by the day and a quick shot of ACP they are as docile as lambs
- the cats not the studs).

2) "All at Sea" Bodil as a pirate captain with a harem of male/female pirate

crew. Plenty of sex on deck, over the cannons, up in the rigging and then Bo
gets fed up with them so starts on the animals on board that they have
collected on their voyage. We can put anything we can get hold of here in -
it's willing suspension of disbelief you see. The grand finale is where Bodil
gets into the water and gets DPed by a pair of dolphins (I know a bent trainer
in Hungary)

3) "Lord of the Animals" Now this is ambitious. I want to make an animal porn
version of Lord of the Rings or some other sort of fantasy movie like the
Conan ones. Bodil is some kind of Valkyrie Amazon Warrior Woman, rides
about and has sex with a talking unicorn (we stick a plastic horn on a horse
and do the peanut butter trick they used for Mr Ed to get his lips to move),
we can have centaurs (real horse and some CGI), orcs (just guys in suits) and
I was thinking of seeing if we could work a dragon in (probably CGI again with
one of those zeta creations dildos for closeups).

So, there you have it! Please can you get back to me with your thoughts as
soon as.

Regards

AJH .

Yes I know I am very, very sick. I was rather hoping he was going to go for the
pirate one !

Lad messes around at this point, says we can discuss when she comes over, need
money for this and that and air tickets, finally sends his visa application form and
gets upset that I go off for the weekend with my friend Peter Mandleson. I send:

HI Joy
 Well I was at a party all weekend with Mandleson (he's been celebrating for
obvious reasons - bit of an odd party what with the young boys dressed as
cherubs, not my thing but it keeps Mandy happy) and the good news is your
visa will be fast tracked and they are going to sort you out with indefinite
leave to remain - which means you can stay and live in europe as long as you
want.

Bodil sent me a bit of an email from you where you said

Can you people send me the money so I can start off with it first the
cost
of getting it faster in two weeks is about 370 Euro

so I;ve told her to send you that and a bit extra to get yourself something
decent to wear. Airline tickets I can sort out cheaper here through the
company account. Just let me know the nearest airport to you. We'll be able
to get you here before the end of the month.

Sure we can discuss the films in more detail then but did you have any ideas
now so I can start some preliminary work?

Cheers

Tony

Lad has a grump...

Dear Tony,

An glad you sent me this mail now.

I have just sent mail to Bodil stating my mind on the mail because I feel that Bodil does not really
Understand me too well so you can read the below mail and you will know what I need to be there as you
wished as soon as possible.

All I need from you people is 3000Euro because the stated 370 Euro is for obtaining the passport here
within 14 days which normally suposed to take upto 2 months to obtain and on the other hand because of
how I came into this country I will need a lawyer that will get all required documents that will back up for
me be able to obtain this passport so easy on a foreign land that am presently in which the lawyer wants me
to pay him first before she will do anything for me 1100Euro then the rest of the balance will be used to get
myself dresses and other necessary things that I needs to come over there at least I have to look sweet when
i come over at least when you people see me you will know am a sweet and good looking girl. Now read
my mail below that I sent to Bodil and respond to it asap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Bodil,

We should not do things like people that are no educated. How can he pay for a ticket for me there for me
to pick it here without me having a passport at hand and you think the airline will release it to me? I dont
like this type of arrangement and am getting tired of all this issue for me to be saying time and time again.
 Tell Mr Anthony that I do not have a passport and I need to get one fast if you people want me to come
there. I can not get the Air ticket without a passport bearing my name and picture if you people pay it there
as your mail stated. Equally I need money to get myself ready for the trip before the VISA will be out and
you people should try and make sure I get at least 3000 Euro on that Reverend banking account details I
sent to you.

If you reply me on another issue without this one I have just said on this mail now I will stop further
communication regarding this trip I will take it that you people are not serious because you told me to fill
the form and send with banking account where you people will send me money as I requested since you
people can not send it through Western Union or Moneygram and that as soon a you get it you and Mr
Anthony will send me the cash and I have done all you asked and requested that I do then I see no reason
why you people can not send me money to get my passport ready and all I needed for the trip.

You people should mean business or you better tell me you are not ready yet for me to come over since
there is no way I can do a magic to be there with a passport because I have asked a lot of immigration
officers and air line staffs concerning this sending me ticket from there with me having a passport and they
said it can not work rather it will only work where i have a passport to claim the ticket when you people
send it.

I wait for your urgent reply asap so I will know if am to forget about this business or not am a sincere and
serious person.

Joy.

Lad gets a slap...

Hello Joy

I think we need to work a little on our business relationship here.

Now whereas you are most generous to be considering investing in our film
production output here neither I nor Bodil are your servants to be ordered
around in this way; certainly not Bodil who is one of the leading lights in the
adult entertainment world and certainly the best regarded and highest
grossing actress in animal pornography at the moment. I would remind you
that we are taking upon trust that you indeed have this money to invest (we
only have your word for it after all) and we are being gracious enough to
advance you money, the sum which you stated you required before it
suddenly inflated tenfold, to acquire a passport and I have called in personal
favours to ensure you have the correct permissions to come and stay in the
UK.

Obviously I am not going to get you an air ticket now but I can get one once
you have your passport. The last time I looked you didn't need a lawyer to
get a passport, just some identification - as you are a refugee you will have a
UN Refugee Card (Don't tell me you have not as I used to work with UNFOR
during my military service) which will be sufficient with the "fee" (which I
know is a bribe, it's OK I know how thing work in places like Africa). Should
additional money be needed on top of the 500 that Bo is sending you we can
look into that but as an investor you should appreciate that I don't go
 spunking my investors cash up the wall for no reason. I would have thought
as a future investor in Danskesmut Film you would be pleased about that.

Now Miss Joy, I think I have made my position here quite clear and I trust we
can now move forward in a spirit of co-operation. I feel it would be a very
good idea if you wrote a note of apology for your email to Bodil and sent it to
her.

Kind regards

Tony

Lad grovels...

Dear Tony,

Thanks for your mail and your highly placed explantions giving to me and please accept my appology if
in one way through my mails insult your person or Bodil please in the name Of God I beg for forgiveness
from you and Boil hence I did not meant to be rude am very SORRY PLEASE.

Regarding your mail I do understand everything here as you said but wish to thank you for your
understanding that here in africa things are not done the normal way as it is been done in western world and
that is why after verifications I came up to tell you people that which I stated on my last mail today.

Please do not see things as it is done in Western World that it will be so here. as you know am a refugee
and since I need a passport that will enable me to travel I made lots of contacts even through our Reverand
father that is our director on how I can get a passport and the out come of it was that am not from this
country but they can assist me get this countries passport but it will have to cost me money to get it that is
where I came up with the issue of the lawyer and the amount I needed from you people please.

So my dear Tony with the situation on ground you can understand that from this part of the world bribry
and corruptions are the full other of the day it will not be easy for me to use UN refugee card to just get an
international passport so easily like that having known that am a foreigner even if it will work that means I
have to go for it for more than six months before I can get one that is if they will not collect my money and
tell me stories, this is all the reasons why I needed a lawyer that knows the land and how things can be done
in a more better way to do this for me.

I hope you understand this that am telling you? I so much appreciate your effort and that of Bodil but please
I beg you too to see reasons with me ragarding the amount I needed I most surely pay back on my arrival
there.

In other words having explain all this and my applogies to both of you I will expect that you will resolve to
send the amount I requested to enable me get all this issue of passport and other things I needed the fees
settled come next week so that you can get me the air ticket for me I can come over to meet two of you.

I wait for your urgent reply while I send the copy of this mail to Bodil.

She duly sends the mail to Bodil who responds like this, starting to push for the
script:

Helloings Joy
 Not to be apologisings. It is alright I gets the grumpty sometimes when it is
my lady time of months too. I am finding having glass of wines or two and big
bar of chokolate is helping lots.

But I has not gots all the monies you says you needs as is Mr Anthony who
says what is monies can be spents but I talks to him and sees what can I
does. I has advice thoughs for you and if you can show hims that you are the
very interest in his movies and really engage with creative process thens Mr
Anthony more likely to say "Joy is very good and I pays more money".

So here are advice from one girl to anothers: Tells him that you has ideas for
Sword and Sorcery film and that you would like something like dragon or
griffin in it and say what dragon or griffin has to do to mes and write some of
scene and some dialog words for me and griffng/dragons to speak. That will
really get him excited and he know that you be good and I sure he will tells
me to send much more monies.

If you do that today will be the good. In meantime I has the send the 500
Euro Mr Anthony say I to send. I send you bank ticket (is called "Sludder" in
Danish speak) so you can shows to your banks. My banks say can takes up to
3 days to arrive as has to go to america first and then to your country.

I am the hoping you can impress Mr Anthony with script idea you sends him
so I sends you more monies soon.

Kisses

xxx

Bodil

Sludder is really Danish for something very rude :) He got one of my fake transfer
slips and he wrote to Tony

Dear Tony,

Good morning and how are today?

I have received from Bodil a payment informations of 500 Euro that ypou directed her to send to me I
appreciate sir but still want to appeal to you to try and see reasons with my am pleading for you to try and
send me even if is 1500 Euro more so I can conclude everything here as I told you on my last mail of
yesterday because I would not want anything to delay me from getting ready to fly down to meet you
people by the end of this month please.

Once more I did told you on my mail yesterday of the film I would like to take part on and you did not say
anything about that if you like it or not once again I still wish to let you know that I have ideas for Sword
and Sorcery film and I would like something like dragon or griffin in it. Please Tony respond and tell me if
this one is ok by you equally please try and see reason and look into my pleading and ask Bodil to send me
more money at least 1500 Euro today so that by tomorrow I will move to get the passport matter first on the
 line so it will be out by next week as I was told my the Reverend father and the lawyer here that are
assisting me.

God bless you as I wait for your mail today.

Joy.

Tony pretends to be out of the office.

Hi Joy
Let me have a think on the extra money. I'll consider what you've said
and get back to you.

Griffin... I like the griffin idea. I am meeting with the guy who does
the computer graphics for lunch to discuss making a Bodil video game
but I will ask him if they can do griffins. I'd love to hear what sort
of ideas you have for the griffin character, if you have any please let
me know.
In a cab so can't write more.
AJ
-----------------
Sent via BlackBerry Mobile Internet from Vodafone

Joy writes back to Bodil:

Dear Bodil,

Good morning and thank you for the document of the transfer of 500 Euro you sent to me which is not clear
to read it here and because of this I apeal to you to try and resend it so that I can get a clear picture of it so I
can give it to the reverend to verify and confirm the money into his account.

On the other hand I told Mr Anthony yesterday the film issue as you asked me and am waiting for his
response but I will still tell him again this morning. Also I appeal to him to see reason why he should send
me more money to enable me get everything ready to come over to meet you people please I beg you try
and see if you can convince him to send me more money even if is 1500 Euro more at least it will go a long
way to assist me get ready before next weekend. I will still want you to tell him that and read to do the film
of Sword and Sorcery.

Am waiting for your Reply.

Joy.

Bodil replies

Helloings

Like I says in last mails It are best if you has go at writings as If I does it he
knows it from me. Just haves a go and use imaginations. You do goods I
knows it.
 Lets me know when you sends him script. Needs not be very loings, just bit of
directions and dialog. Makes it sexy (he likes that) and it put hims in good
moods. You says when yous has done and I calls him up.

We girls have to stick together, yes?

Kisses

Bodil

xxx

There’s a bit of batting back and forwards between Bodil and Joy with Joy asking
Bodil to write the script and Bodil coming up with excuses that she can’t as her
English isn’t good and Tony knows her style but eventually I get this and realise he’s
going to need a hand to get started and he really is completely clueless!

Dear Bodil,

Please I am begging you try and send me idea of how the script should be let me write it you know I have
not done it before and I will surely do it well if you can send me an idea on how to do it.

Mr Anthony want to send me another money but he want to think of it and want to see his computer man so
he can see if he will be able to carry on on the one I told him. and he will like to get from me the idea I
have about it. You can see that I need to get an idea from you what to say I will quickly write it in short
form and send it to him.

Waiting for your urgent reply please malke out time for this he will not know I will change the english
please let we girls join hands to work.

So I give him this:

Helloings Joy

I has not the forgottens you just I was the busy todays and had dash
everywhere as had to take my lovely German Shepherd dog Rex to
veteriniary man for to have annual injection and check for nasties. He is all
very well and veterinary man say he never see such well behavied and happy
dog - well we all knows why he happy dog, yes. Giggle

OK so here is outlines of script ideas I am the havings. I outline situation and

shows you how scripts are the writtens ...

--------------
Sword and Sorcery script idea
LOCATION: Exterior, Forest clearing, Night.
===========================================

Fade in on BODIL sats on UNICORN. UNICORN walks into clearing which are
lighted by torches rounds the outside

CUT TO: Medium close up UNICORN

UNICORN flick ear about and look rounds
UNICORN: "This is not being the right. It are too quiets"
CUT TO: Mid shot BODIL and UNICORN
UNICORN: "You hear thats?"
BODIL: "Noes, you imagines things, you big scared thing"
BODIL - pat unicorns on necks
BODIL: "But you bigs where it count, want to do love agains I nots had it for
at least an hour"
(OFF SCREEN)
DRAGON: "Rrrrarrrr!"
BODIL: "Oh fucking of the hells! It Grondar the Flatulent. Kings of Dragons"
UNICORN: "Whinny!"
BODIL: "Charge!"

CUT TO: Wide shot behind dragon, pan up and left to wide views. UNICORN
charges DRAGON DRAGON: "Rrrarrrr!"
As UNICORN gets to DRAGON DRAGON wave paw and hit UNICORN who fall
over and BODIL fall off
BODIL: "Ow!"
DRAGON put claw on UNICORN neck
DRAGON: "Yous wench. Gets up and does what I says or horsey gets it!"
BODIL gets up. CAMERA - follow Bodil look CUT TO Bodil sword lying to fars
away to get to CUT TO BODIL and DRAGON medium shot
DRAGON: "Thats betters. Now I wants looks at yous proper."
DRAGON breath majik fires and BODIL wrap in mist and then all my clothes
fall off
DRAGON: "Hmmmm... nice legs, for a human"
PAN SHOT across DRAGON body to groins, DRAGON is getting erect. The
dragon has a big cock, his cock is very big.
CUT TO - BODIL, BODIL smiles and licks lips
BODIL: "That very nice. Now what's yous goings to do with its"

....

---------------------

OK so I hopes I have gots you the started. I am no goods at write the sexy
dialogs for actors to be sayings but I bet you is a natural. Just write in some
extra bits about what dragon and me say to each other and does, pretends
that you are comings on all hot to your boyfriend and try and seduce him.

Remember puts in some cameras directions and what you want actors to do
like move of lick cock or whatever. Just maybe writes about four minutes
 more of dialogs and actions - practice it yourslef by speak parts or get friend
to help you speak other part of dragon and you speak my parts and you see
how long it lasts.

I trustings you and I knows you are knocking of the Mr Anthony sockses off
when he see you script he be sures know you is big assets to his company
and sends you money - he might even pays you extra to write scripts!

Goes for its girl!

Kisses

Bodil

xxxx

And the rest, as the say, is history :-)