02 - [Byun Baekhyun] You Are a Good Dream of Mine

My pains were made unknown as I continued to keep silent. Its because I was afraid that the pain I had caused you was incomparable to what I was experiencing now. It was already 5AM when he finished. Afterwards, he fell into deep sleep as he lay on my limp body. I could feel happiness only during moments like these. But I was worried that my body was too skinny for him to lie on comfortably. The pain on my body was what kept me awake. I gazed blankly at him who was lying on my chest, until the horizon started to brighten. When it was time to get up for the schedule, I tried to push him off gently in order not to wake him; but, I accidentally fell off. I panicked and turned back to look at him after the commotion, but to my relief, he was still sound asleep. I trudged to the kitchen and made some hangover soup. Keeping in mind that Luhan Hyung might have drunk quite a bit as well, I made enough for two. Just as I laid the soup out on the dining table, Sehun walked into the kitchen, rubbing his half-opened eyes. Morning, Baekhyun hyung. Morning. Ah, yes, would you please help me bring the soup to Luhan Hyung, its time to wake them as well. Ok. Looking still groggy, he gave a simple reply. - - Sehun has never been very fond of me. I carried the other bowl of soup into our shared bedroom. The early morning sunlight seeped into the room through the window, shining on the persons light hair. He lay still asleep, unlike his violence in the early morning. I stood by the bed, imagining that I had spent a night of sweetness with this person that I love and was about to wake him now to see him greeting me a good morning with a wide smile. Are you crazy Byun Baekhyun? What the fuck were you thinking? I shook my head, and chided myself silently. I could not bear to wake him from his peace, thus I placed the hangover soup aside, and stood by bed, not knowing what to do. I wanted to help him pack his things for the schedule later, so that he could sleep for a while longer, but he disliked it when I touched his things.

I stood there like a blankly like a moron for 10 minutes, until I heard the slight commotions outside the room made by the members that had just awoken. I mustered up the courage and bent down to give him a light nudge. ChanyeolChanyeol. He frowned before opening his eyes. - - My darling, he has the worlds most beautiful eyes. As long as hed look at me, Id be at a loss of words. Its t-time to get up. Seven-ah no, seven-thirty, we have to reach the salon by seven-thirty. My stuttering and gaping must have looked horribly dumb to him. And reality proved my assumption right, Park Chanyeol only threw me an annoyed glance before looking away. He sat up while letting out a deep breath, and winced due to the hangover. He walked out of the room without a word; even if his tortures early in the morning caused me unbearable pain as I took each step, I followed behind him with the bowl in my hands. Drink the hangover soup, you will feel better. He gave no reply, and took the bowl over from me without even sparing a glance. Even so, Id be glad enough if hed drink the soup. But, I saw him walk into the kitchen and turned the bowl over in the sink, pouring away the soup. My smile froze awkwardly, almost as if the soup was thrown right into my face. I lowered my head to smile bitterly but felt a light tap at my shoulder. Dont stone here, go get prepared, we need to leave soon. It was Luhan Hyung. Alright.

On the way to the salon, was when the lack of sleep in the morning came back to haunt me. Wrapped in my jacket, I rested my head against the car window and shut my eyes to get a bit of rest, but the pain in my lower body was of such pain that I could barely straighten my back.

Baekhyun-ah, are you fine? You look really pale. Luhan Hyungs voice came from behind again. Maybe he was the only one in the group who bothered about me. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me widely. Im fine. I replied with a smile. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Chanyeol turning his head slightly to look at us. I did not want him to see me in this haggard state. But Chanyeol, youd rather see me like this rather than see me happy. Am I right? If yes, then as you wish, I do feel very unwell now. Luhan Hyung threw a gaze at Chanyeol, and continued to speak to me, The schedule ends at about 2-3PM today, go get some rest after that. Our group did not have such a role as a Leader. But the eldest, Luhan, took up the leadership responsibilities in the group. He was kind enough to take care of everyone, even me, the unrecognised one. Actually all the members in the group are kind children; it was just that I was the one who caused them to learn to become distant and cold. When we reached the destination, I could see the fans that were always there to wait for us at the entrance. I forced a little smile, while a hand laid itself swiftly on my shoulders. I turned my head to see - - of course, it was Chanyeol. Hes smile was dazzling, nodding his head at the fans to greet them. His close contact looked extremely natural. This person who I love has got no split-personality disorder or any sort of illness. His actions made me feel no happiness at all. Compared to the rough attacks in the morning, they came off more realistic to me than this an attempt to please the fans by faking the affection. I entered the salon under his cold touch. Fans always like to pair me up with him. And it wasnt anything new that I could hear the sound of screaming girls behind us as we entered the salon. But poor children, you have been dreaming a dream that you shouldnt have. The person that your beloved Chanyeol Oppa dislikes the most, is me. Even though Id like to imagine just like you do that the person he loves the most was named Byun Baekhyun. But, your beloved Chanyeol who is always laughing brightly before the camera is only full of distaste and despise towards me. As I had expected, he immediately let go after the fans were out of sight and walked forward. I watched his back, not even feeling sad over the fact that his affections were all faked. Are you okay? Kyungsoo asked as he walked by, he must have noticed that I was feeling unwell

today. Yeah, Im fine. I said to him with a smile, he must have seen the scene just now, but his fixed gaze on me did make me feel a hint of warmness. He only nodded. Sehun threw me a look, without saying anything.

I leaned against the chair on the salon, dozing off, allowing the coordi to toy with my face. Waitfor the interview later, am I supposed to be wearing heavy eye make-up? I looked at myself in the mirror as I opened my eyes. It says in the interview that it wants to highlight your role as the eyeliner-in-charge of the group. Uh. I was at a lack of a suitable word to use. But the group has only been established for a year, I needed a role for the audiences to recognise me. At least the thick eye make-up made me look a little more awake. Whe coordi left, I tried practising my gazes in the mirror. But I ended meeting eyes with Park Chanyeol through the reflection of the mirror. He sat in the sofa behind, hands still in the position of scrolling through his handphone, but his gaze swept icily across me. I fell into a state of blankness as I made eye-contact with him. I stared at him dumbly as I saw him lift the corners of his lips to mouth a word, and looked down to use his phone again. Motherfucker He scolded me like that. It was as if all the energy in my body has been sucked away again all of a sudden, you always know how to make me feel inferior in a second. I stared at myself in the mirror, as if I have turned into a ridiculous and ugly looking clown. - - Why bother dressing up for my love whom will never appreciate.