Signposts Along The Healing Path

Many people are searching for ways to heal, physically, mentally and emotionally. They want to feel well again, to be happy, and to be at peace. At the same time, with so much information available, so many professionals and so many choices, knowing where to look can seem overwhelming. In light of this I thought I would share some things I have learned along my own path of growth and healing, o ne that will continue as long as I live.

Acceptance is a g ood place to start Many confuse the ideas of acceptance and surrender with giving up on their current circumstances. To me , acceptance has nothing to do with the circumstance but rather my attitude toward it. A ccepting and surrendering mean that I stop judging and struggling with the way things are at this moment. This allows me to stop resisting what actually is, and to essentially stop focusing on the problem or the pain. Just this shift alone often reduces distress and suffering significantly whether physical or mental . This frees up my energy to focus on the so lution and to do what is in my power to create change .

The moment that judgement stops through acceptance of what it is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace. Eckhart Tolle

Look at y our i nvestment Many times, consciously or not, people have interests in their suffering which they continue to pursue and do not want to give up. For some this could be the attention they receive by being ill or in distress a poor substitute for the love or peace they really seek. It co uld be a subconscio us or ev en conscio us way of getting revenge o n the people that they blame for their life or circumstance. In order to heal, one has to be willing to let go of these investments, seeing that they are not really getting the return tha t they want. O ne has to be willing to begin to take full responsibility for themselves and their life.

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you. Tony Robbins

Take y our power back What does it really mean to take responsibility for oneself? If someone is depressed or suicidal, taking responsibility can mean picking up the pho ne and telling someone, anyon e that they want help. Responsibility is simply ones ability to respond to whatever is happening in the moment, one moment at a time. On a deeper level, taking respo nsibility means giving up all of the blame, all of the self-pity and all of the excuses and complaining and taking your po wer back. It means letting go of the old story and stepping into the present moment which is the only place where change can occur. It means no longer playing the victim of ones circumstances and becoming the author of ones life and experience.

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. - Eleanor Roosevelt

You are y our own bes t doctor The culture of modern medicine has historically enco uraged a passive and dependent approach to care. You go to the doctor and they give you a diagno sis and give you pills, they do this or they do that to you and expect you to comply. This is a very disempowering model of care. Without being informed or asking questions, you put your well-being entirely in the hands of someone else, at the mercy of their knowledge and intentions. Worse yet, you may seek help from a practitioner who simply does not care o r have the too ls to help you. It can be very easy to get caught up in believing that someone or something o utside of us will heal us. If we just try one more self -help book, one more seminar, a different medicatio n or find the right guru, well be good. An individuals healing path is unique and will require a unique set of skills and tools to travel. I have fo und that finding the right help is often a process of trial and error. If that process is entered with an empo wered mindset and clarity on what o ne wants, faster and more discriminate decisions can be made alo ng the way.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. - Buddha

Diplomas alone do not heal people Many people seem to b e under the impression that numerous diplomas and degrees best qualify someone as an expert to facilitate their healing. This may not be the case at all. Such credentials alo ne say nothing about a professionals intentions or ability to provide what is needed for a given individual. That being said, being highly educated and having many academic degrees does not indicate that a person is not qualified to help, its just that those credentials alone do not, in themselves, best qualify a perso n to be of assistance. The most educated psychiatrist may know everything about prescribing medication but may lack the knowledge, compassio n or tools required to address any of the underlying causes of ones distress. It is well known in the world o f psychotherapy , for example, that the quality of relationship between therapist and client is more important than the specific form of therapy used. Often, one of the best credentials one can seek is that of lived experience from a person who has been there and gott en to the other side. These people know what its like to be in a similar place, they know its possible to heal and they know ways to do just that. They may not know exactly how you will get there, but they can encourage you and point you to other usef ul people, resources and so on.

The only source of knowledge is experience. Albert Einstein

Good intenti ons are not enough I have worked with m any professionals who were loving, caring and had the best of intentions to help me. Each one of them left me with something o f value even if it was just the sentiment that someone cared, and most of them supported and encouraged me. However, not all of them had the knowledge, skills, tools or experience to address my concerns at the time. Specific knowledge and approaches can be critical to reaching a desired outcom e. It is not possible for someone to know exactly what I need or where to find my answers. Ultimately, I need to discern what works and what does not work for me. Of course it often takes a trial period to know if a given approach is affective or not, but there is no point spending a lot of money and extended periods of time pursuing an approach that is no t working.

Qua li ty is n ev er a n a cci de nt; i t is a lw a ys t he r esul t o f hig h i nt en tio n , s inc e re e f fo rt , int ellig ent di r ecti o n a nd s ki l l ful ex ecu tio n ; i t r e pr es en ts th e wis e c ho ice o f ma n y a lte rna tiv es . -W ill ia m A . F ost er

You are not a diagnos is Many people feel a great sense of relief when they finally receive a diagnosis from a professio nal - Youre depressed, You are ADD, You have PTSD. At last, their discomfort and distress is explained, the mystery solved. The problem here is that a person may begin to identify themselves with the diagnosis and thereby reinforce this belief as a pa rt of their experience. It is exactly the o pposite which needs to happen to support their healing. It is the belief in ones natural state of well -being and their ability to get there that best serves their healing process. More and more people today are being diagnosed with conditions than ever before. Many of these diagnoses were created and propagated by highly profitable industries that rely o n people being diagnosed to sell their products. Ultimately, the question that needs to be asked is what i s the purpose of this diagnosis? If the purpose of a diagnosis is to communicate with others to seek effective care and healing, that is supportive. If the purpose of a diagnosis fosters an individuals identification with illness leaving them feeling st uck or hopeless, or leads an individual to seek a treatment that does not support their well -being, it serves no healing purpose at all.

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. Marcus Aurelius

Health and happiness are your natural state of being Ultimately, healing, health and happiness come from within , are our natural state of being, and just need to be un covered . We are a part of nature, and when allowed to, nature thrives. Most often, getting back to nature leads to healing. As opposed to adding o ne more thing, removing unnatural and processed fo ods, or foods that one is allergic to or has sensitivities to, can allow ones body and mind to heal. Instead of trying to adopt positive thinking, discovering and letting go of limiting beliefs, our stories and o ur past, can free us from patterns of negative thinking and the unpleasant emotions that follow. Healing o ur relationships with ourselves leads to peace and allows us to heal or disengage fro m toxic relationships with others. More and more in o ur industrialized and technological society, modern science is re discovering that a walk in nature, the company of good friends, family or a pet, natural eating, and a sense of commu nity can do more to heal people than anything modern science has tried to devise .

Nature itself is the best physician. - Hippocrates

Pain is inevitable, suffering is opti onal Everyones life involves some degree of challenge and adversity. This is not in our control. What is in our control is the way we perceive our experience. Its the same thing as saying that we cannot control the people and events in o ur lives, but we can control the way we respond to them. Each person on this planet experiences a unique reality based on the i nner world they project onto the screen of their life. P rojection is perceptio n. A perso n who feels unlovable or insecure may perceive the world as a scary, ho stile and alienating place. On the other hand, a perso n who feels lov able and secure within them selves may see the world as a safe and peaceful place in which they can explore , create and love. The way one experiences both physical and emotion pain can be greatly affected by the attitude they have towards it. As previo usly mentio ned, b y accepting on es experience in the moment, resistance and frustration are dropped, immediately reducing distress and suffering.

P a i n i s i n ev ita bl e but su ff e rin g is o p tio na l. Bu dd hi st P ro v er b

There is a way to return to emotional and physical wellness , and each of us must find our own path. Ones inner world and the beliefs they hold abo ut themselves are formed early in life. The good news is that beliefs and attitudes can be changed and in turn, ones experience of life can change. Even when ones physical wellbeing seems beyond control, their experience of it can be transformed, they can still find peace and joy. When one learns to accept, love and value oneself and where they are , they can begin to act in ways that best support themselves and those around them . In harmony within and with others, the struggle diminishes and their inner nature of peace and healing continues to take form in their world.