K.

Salmon

Year 9 Poetry Paragraph Writing War Means 1. Decide your point of view agree or disagree (Should War Means be in a Year 10 poetry collection, called The Horrors of War?) View: No it shouldnt 2. List your reasons for this e.g. Doesnt provide detailed information about war just a series of statements. Doesnt provide graphic images of atrocities or horrors. Refers to peace at the end not war. Doesnt have a lot of poetic techniques Statements about war are jumbled some specific nouns, others abstract. Some not clear (e.g. fire, occupation what is being referred to?) 3. Choose 2 or 3 reasons, for your paragraph. 4. Write your topic sentence (express your point of view) e.g. The poem, War Means, is not a good choice for the Year 10 Anthology, entitled, The Horrors of War. 5. Provide your 1st reason. One reason Nandankars poem is not appropriate is that it consists of a long list of generalisations about

war statements of what war actually is (what war means) to the poet. 6. Explain your reason + provide evidence. These generalisations do not add to students understanding of the actual horrors that can occur, during a war. Certainly there is reference to loss, killing and bombing but these words do not arouse strong feelings in the reader because they are not strongly emotive. The main horror referred to is mutilation but again, because of the lack of specific detail, the reader can only guess as to the nature of the mutilation, or mutilations, war can give rise to. Mention of this word would not give rise to any real understanding of this feature of some wars. As well, the sequencing of the statements presents a muddled understanding of what war involves there is no linking or logical flow evident. 7. Provide your second reason + evidence A second reason to advocate this poems omission from the anthology is the lack of graphic images which might enhance students understanding of wars horrors. In fact, the poem comprises two sections, the first seventeen lines of which list the poets supposed understanding of what war involves. The words read quite impersonally and suggest, rather than graphically portray, aspects of war. There is reference to turmoil, guns, death and destruction but no clarification of what these nouns mean, to the poet. Nor is there any elaboration on these key words we do not read about any specific use of guns, sufficient to convince us that they create some form of horror, in war. 8. Sum up your view

Because War Means fails to present graphic images, providing, instead, a series of generalisations about war, it does not really contribute to students understanding of the horrors of war and therefore should not be included in the Yr 10 anthology. The paragraph , as a whole, reads: The poem, War Means is not a good choice for the Year 10 Anthology, entitled, The Horrors of War.One reason Nandankars poem is not appropriate is that it consists of a long list of generalisations about war statements of what war actually is (what war means) to the poet. These generalisations do not add to students understanding of the actual horrors that can occur, during a war. Certainly there is reference to loss, killing and bombing but these words do not arouse strong feelings in the reader because they are not strongly emotive. The main horror referred to is mutilation but, again, because of the lack of specific detail, the reader can only guess as to the nature of the mutilation, or mutilations, war can give rise to. Mention of this word would not create any real understanding of this feature of some wars. As well, the sequencing of the statements presents a muddled understanding of what war involves there is no linking or logical flow evident. A second reason to advocate this poems omission from the anthology is the lack of graphic images which might enhance students understanding of wars horrors. In fact, the poem comprises two sections, the first seventeen lines of which list the poets supposed understanding of what war involves. The words read quite impersonally and suggest, rather than graphically portray, aspects of war. There is reference to turmoil, guns, death and destruction but no

clarification of what these nouns mean, to the poet. Nor is there any elaboration on these key words we do not read about any specific use of guns, sufficient to convince us that they create some form of horror, in war. Because War Means fails to present graphic images, providing, instead, a series of generalisations about war, it does not really contribute to students understanding of the horrors of war and therefore should not be included in the Year 10 anthology. Copy of the poem : War Means By Mrunal Nandankar War Means death War Means destruction War Means fire War Means bombing War Means sorrow War Means turmoil War Means tears War Means guns War Means blood War Means confusion War Means explosions War Means mutilation War Means sickness War Means killing War Means occupation War Means loss And lots more But after one side Or the other side Has finally had enough And lays down their arms

To surrender and give up War Means Peace.