Babel The world speaks Globish. As economies and societies grow together, the necessity for transnational communication increases. The result is a weird, improvised and, well, impoverished version of today’s global tongue: English. American Linguist Steven Donahue does not like it. DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA? think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany
ving language on the face of
the earth Parlez Globish!”) standard English Faster than an SMS, sentence: “Jean- able to leap “Parlez Globish” Paul borders approaches English Nerrière lays out in a single syllable, from a business that theory, and a new bastard angle thatsprings everyone language from Nerrière’s can play with it as now threatens past employment they wing and hop Anglo-American with IBM. Globish is around the world.” linguistic English-light dominance of the without the Transformed into business world. cholesterol of Globish, it Henceforth, English cumbersome becomes: “Jean- is fired; Esperanto spelling, Paul Nerrière builds is vocabulary, idioms and demonstrates expired; Interlingua and pronunciation. that theory, and is tired; Globish is “DON’T everyone now has a chance to allegedly wired for SPEAK experiment with it the world of the ENGLISH as soon as he or she travels a lot third millennium. PARLEZ around the world.” Globish owes its GLOBISH The site also offers genesis to Madhukar INSTEAD,” a clutch of Globish Gogate. Back in SAYS JEAN- books for people whose native 1998, he built a simplified PAUL languages are version of English NERRIÈRE Italian, Spanish, Japanese predicated upon a In fact, Nerrière’s subset of high- or Korean and who main intent seems frequency want to master to vocabulary. Globish. be on curbing the influence of “Coca- In 2004, Frenchman Mercy beaucoup, Cola English” Jean-Paul Nerrière Mister Nerrière— throughout the took up Gogate’s but whythe hassle? world. language mission and published a Maybe there is no On Nerrière’s Web French language need for Globish. site (www.jpn- book entitled globish.com) “Parlez English is the most the following Globish.” (Full title: forgiving language example is “Don’t speak on the face of the presented as the English: earth, a language DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA? think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany which allows any responded, “Fifteen Can native English conceivable error in or fifty?” The speakers pronunciation, Haitian understand syntax or even angrily retorted, Globish? Of course semantics. “Why don’t you they can. At New learn English? York’s JFK airport I Why go to all Who wants $50 in overheard a Korean this trouble to gas?” and a Japanese simplify a language conversing in what that can Forgive me if I was at first an be mangled sound indistinguishable without penalty? conservative, but tongue to me. to me this seems to People get along all show that there is a Fortunately, like the time with real genuine interest in listening to Scots English, even when correct English— jabbering at a pub, it is rough around and not a need for I its edges. I hail a new, simplified was eventually able from the American Globish tongue. to tune in my ear city of enough to Miami, Florida (or Given that the urge comprehend the as Globish would to tinker with strained English. have it: English is But then, who I coming from probably wants to feel like Miami), where the irresistible, what being in a rough-andready does a Globish pub all the time? approach is on sentence look like? Of course, the constant display. appeal of Globish The sentence “Two fits perfectly It even seems as if fine cats quickly with the economic even immigrants went to the city” is fad of globalization: develop a rendered, in Learn English remarkable interest Globish, “too faain quickly and make a in linguistic kaets kwikli went tu ton of questions. I thuh dough just as fast. recently saw a siti.” Note that Its proponents Haitian walk up to capital letters are claim it the counter only used can be learned in a at a gas station and for abbreviations mere 182 hours. tell the Hispanic and periods clerk, become While the “Give me $15 on triplets. Spelling is expansion of pump two.” The a phonetic free-for- Globish may offer clerk all. its users a method of simplified communication, DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA? think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany Globish advocates should note that in SAYS that is increasingly beside the point. the more than 100 STEVEN years since Esperanto’s DONAHUE. English is a language with so I closed my eyes to invention, it has little grammar that the sparkling water noticeably failed to it steals vocabulary of become the lingua wherever it can. Biscayne Bay, and franca of global There is heard a jangle of business. The no point in clashing tongues. same fate, I am simplifying it. The Spanish sorry to predict (or, Native speakers participants were well, are working on that inserting “claro,” maybe not so aspect of the “tiqui-tiqui” and much), awaits language “cono” into every Globish. continuously. Their other sentence; the children are French speakers During a vexing pushing were doing their business meeting these trends even best to keep at the tony further. English on the Mandarin Oriental back burner by hotel in Miami, over Nerrière’s favorite speckling it with a bottles of a examples involve stock of French California mystery using slang-laden phrases; the Italian wine, the English to show off was engrossed in conversation the supposed speaking mostly to devolved from its superiority of the waiter about primary focus on Globish. the best the British OFEX Vespa scooter, in market to a slur of For example, his native babble in this “This erstwhile language. trendy Globish. buddy of yours is a GLOBISH Effective? weird duck who will MAKES Definitely not. In probably put the BUSINESS the end, the kibosh on all of our good ideas.” MEETINGS meeting failed almost as MORE surely as if it had In Nerrière’s decaffeinated EFFECTIVE? been hosted at the Tower of Babel. Globish, the NOT speaker utters instead: “Your REALLY, Advocates of Globish are pushing old friend is too strange. He would something ruin all our efforts.” DOES THE WORLD NEED ANOTHER LINGUA FRANCA? think:act Magazine Issue 9 2008 Hamburg, Germany Of course, that is speakers are a what good native matter of muddling English through. communicators would do anyway— In conclusion, there come down to the is no need for appropriate Globish. level for the The proof is in the persons they are pudding. conversing with, and strip Recently, I met away the slang and with a group of idioms. Indian programmers, Many non-native speaking English speakers about an intricate outperform software coding native speakers in project. While the their fluent and English was careful different, use of English. there was no doubt NATO’s secretary- we were on the general, same Jaap de Hoop page. After a long Scheffer, came to day together, one Washington in of them October 2006 for expressed the wish talks with top that I have a “tight American sleep,” apparently officials. His English intending the idiom was practiced, “sleep tight.” Did nuanced and finely the programmer’s tuned. Some mistake observers rated it matter? Not in the better than the least. I got the drift version spoken by and his American did in fact have a counterparts. wonderful sleep after a productive But the de Hoop day’s work. Scheffer phenomenon is an exception. Most interactions between native and non-native “ The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw