Lesson 5 Introducing Perceptual positions: Much of NLP involves looking at things in a different way to get a different perspective.

This enables us to understand other people's maps of reality and to enrich our own. Thus we gain greater mutual understanding, create rapport and achieve better communication, with all its associated benefits. You met the terms 'associated' and 'dissociated' in lesson 2. In an associated experience you see through your own eyes and it feels like actually experiencing the event yourself. In a dissociated experience you see yourself as an external observer would. These two perspectives represent subjective or objective ways of thinking about something. They relate respectively to the first person ('I') and third person ('he, she, them') forms of speech we use in everyday language. And we term these different viewpoints perceptual positions. PERCEPTUAL POSITIONS 1st, 2nd, 3rd and Nth: You can look at any experience in at least three ways... 1st Perceptual Position The first position, or 'associated viewpoint', represents your own subjective point of view - 'How does this affect me?' When remembering an experience in this way you will see things as if through your own eyes. In particular you will recall the inner feelings associated with it. Think back to an important event in your life, such as meeting someone for the first time, starting a new job, or whatever. Associate with the memory, using all modalities (Representational systems), then describing such an experience we tend to use appropriate first-person language, such as 'I feel', 'the way I see things', and so on. This perceptual position equates to personal 'consciousness'. Do you know, for instance, whether the colour 'red' means the same to somebody else? Objective scientists usually mistrust this subjective state (which partly explains the slow progress in cognitive science and understanding the human mind). Conversely, we cannot think wholly objectively from an associated, first perceptual position. Second Perceptual Position The second perceptual position views an experience from the position of the other party to a communication or event - an interested party. From this perspective, you start to understand how the other person feels. In any communication or mutual experience people perceive things differently. We saw this in the presupposition: 'The map is not the territory.' By projecting yourself into the other person's map of reality you get an important new perspective. To do this, imagine stepping inside someone else's skin and experiencing the world as they do. Listen to 'you' and notice the response. We associate this perceptual position with empathy, or 'putting yourself into the other person's shoes'. The skill of taking second position will give you far more accurate information than just wondering how a person feels. Conflict in a communication or a

relationship usually calls for a second perceptual position on the matter. When you understand better how the other person sees and feels things, your own feelings will probably change. Your changed attitude to the person will then tend to increase rapport. So they will also change. And the increased rapport will in turn make it easier for you to see their point of view. A perceptual position 'switch' can start a positive spiral of better communication. Behaviour that seems wrong or strange can take on new meaning when you perceive it from the other person's point of view. In fact most of the time each of us believes that we act rightly, sensibly, normally - with good reason. To genuinely take on a second-person position means that you begin to understand the validity of perspectives different from your own. You can also begin to under-stand the real purpose behind another person's actions or words (which they themselves may not have identified). And this might give the key to the right communication to bring about your own outcome, through them. Of course, we can never fully understand the subjective consciousness of another person. NLP does not offer psychic gifts. But it can take you a long way towards seeing things as another person does, whether you agree with them or not. To take different perceptual positions requires an imaginative 'as if ' skill that anyone can develop, with practice. Even very small children use their fertile imaginations to empathize with suffering siblings and friends. For most of us, the skill of taking the second perceptual position involves removing mental blinkers and unlearning long-established thinking patterns. But, with practice, we can all revive some latent, natural empathy. Third and Nth Perceptual Positions When using the third perceptual position to view an experience. you act as a complete outsider or third party, and not direct party to the communication - like the classic, wholly objective, independent, 'fly on the wall'. You take the disinterested scientific viewpoint, the role of the impartial observer. You distance yourself from the action and the key players, stand back and observe. This position can represent any perspective other than those of the parties to the communication. For example, you could adopt the viewpoint of a consultant, parent, casual observer, school teacher, and so on - to the nth degree. Ask yourself. 'What would it look like to so-and-so?' This way, you can open up infinite viewpoints. Each position has its own importance. It simply differs from the others, giving different meaning in different contexts and circumstances. Together, the viewpoints will give a comprehensive perception of any experience. Although identified as distinct perceptual positions, in practice we tend to move from one to the other without consciously doing anything other than 'thinking about' an issue. Having said this, some people will have a preference or aptitude for one way of thinking. A person who tends to view things in a detached, objective, impersonal, abstract way will feel at home with the third perceptual position. A person who can easily empathize with another person and 'feel for them' will naturally take a second-person position. And a person who seems to dwell only on their own subjective experience instinctively takes the first perceptual position. You can extend your skills to develop all three perspectives, match those used by other people, and thus create better rapport. Experienced salespeople, negotiators and counsellors readily use each position in their work. As well as the communication benefits,

adopting these different perceptual positions can enable your mind to come up with creative ideas and solutions to difficult problems. By thinking in this way we open up new brain networks. The unfamiliarity or 'difference' stimulates the brain to give special attention. Insights and intuitions suddenly occur to us when we adopt unfamiliar perceptual positions. So the benefits apply to far more than communication, improving every aspect of your thinking.