A SOURCE OF DISCONTENT Neuman had found after five years of cohabitation that Kate, his wife to be, although

generous in lovemaking, did not share his enthusiasm for it. This became a deep source of discontent for Neuman for he loved her deeply and was uncomfortable with the fact that this one aspect of their love was not as much of a shared pleasure as he felt comfortable with. Their union was reliant on her generosity, not mutual pleasure and for Neuman this was unsettling. Thus began the source of Neuman's inquiry as to why this was so. What had robbed him of perfection. With no help and no one to consult on this issue, he took to the idea that her natural development had in some way been interfered with. This lead to many many hours of contemplation, considering the loves of his life. At this stage in their relationship, that is about five years, he had had only two other lovers, one of which was a very unsatisfying one morning stand with a sixteen year old, when he was seventeen. She had come to his house in the morning, entered the house, walked upstairs and awoken him. Soon after they were making love on the floor of the lounge room. He found it rather distasteful that her arse was not clean and in his ignorance, this lead him to think that perhaps hygiene was not one of her priorities. This so dampened his enthusiasm for lovemaking that he was unable to continue and suggested that they both shower. Neuman's inexperience in this subject led him to seek explanations for Kate's apparent unnaturalness. It seemed to him that at some stage in her youth, a balanced and undistorted development of sexuality had not taken place. In order to explore this theory, he developed an interest in the subject of human sexuality. He took and interest in homosexuals and sought an explanation for what he considered their unnatural development. It seemed to him that at some stage in a child's life, something happened to a child that robbed them of free and natural sexual development, and amongst other things robbed them of their ability to partake in God's most wonderful gift without feelings of guilt. It seemed to him that given the right environment in which to allow sexuality to develop, people would be able to live much happier more fulfilling unsuppressed lives. Repression, denial of understanding, denial of opportunity to discover and explore are deeply unsettling for our protagonist. Something happened that had Neuman loose direction. There remains a nagging Before his realisation, the mysterious source of anger which seemed to come from nowhere, came from a deep knowledge of a desire that he seemed to have no control over for a pure untarnished virgin. Why? Why would anyone make such an issue over this apparently small matter? Simple.... and one can even understand ius primae noctis, the right of the lord to take a newly married woman into his bed for sexual liberties on her wedding night. For this first event will shape her sexuality for life. It remained a source of distress to Neuman that the western world was brimming over with women living sexual lives of quiet desperation, and obviously this being the cause of immense amounts of unhappiness in the world, particularly between couples.