Have Him Eating Out Of Your Hands

10 SIMPLE STEPS

Randall E. Bennett, MA, LMFT, LCPC

Contents
INTRODUCTION..........................................................................................................1 Tip #1: What Every Man Wants (but almost no woman gives). .......................................4 Tip #2: Get to Know What Makes Him Tick..................................................................6 Tip #3: The 1 Thing You Can Do to Nurture a DEEP Connection with Him..............8 Tip #4: Develop a NEW Style That Drives Him Wild.................................................. 12 Tip #5: The #1 Predictor of Relationship Success........................................................ 15 Tip #6: The 3 Things to Never Say............................................................................... 17 Tip #7: A Little Known Secret for Getting his Attention.............................................. 19 Tip #8: Hit the Pause Button......................................................................................... 21 Tip #9: Pre-Planning Prevents Relationship Drift. ......................................................... 23 Tip #10: Never Reject Sex............................................................................................. 25

Copyright 2012 MarriageSherpa.com Breakthrough Learning Institute LLC All rights reserved. No part of this book or any part of this system, including, but not limited to, interior design, cover design and icons may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.)

Introduction
Congratulations!
Todays a new day, for you and for your relationship. Heres why. Over the past 10 years there has been a number of remarkable new studies in relationship science that have identified with a high degree of precision what people who succeed in their relationship do differently than those who fail. And the good news is you are going to learn some of those methods today. The only unfortunate part about this groundbreaking research is that for years, a lot of the data has been locked in textbooks and reserved mostly for clinics and masters level training programs in relationship therapy. Almost nobody was writing to the general public about the latest advances Rather, many of these techniques and methods were reserved for the select few who used them solely in their face-to-face practice.

Until NOW
Just recently Randy Bennett, a licensed therapist with 25 years of counseling experience, has been paving new ground by writing simple instructions any couple can follow to get the edge in their relationship and overcome outmoded ways of thinking or acting. His breakthrough program Melt Your Mans Heart is his latest work and its turning out to be one of the single most effective tools women are using today to single-handedly transform their relationship with their man. After you read the valuable tips and tools from this report, I highly suggest you consider Randys Melt Your Mans Heart.

Stephanie Anderson Editor-in-Chief MarriageSherpa.com

10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Randy Bennetts Melt Your Mans Heart

ue to the overwhelming response Randy has received from his program which reveals the triggers that cause good relationships to go bad, Randy recently recorded an eye-opening video every woman needs to watch. This video exposes what women can do on their own to eliminate the negative patterns that squash the deep emotional connection they crave from their man. Nobody is talking about these techniques and revealing these methods to the general public the way Randy does and its a shame, because its extremely powerful and works in almost any situation.

Its something you MUST know if you want to understand exactly what your man REALLY wants, what makes him tick, and how to get him to shower you with the love, care and affection that you deservenot because you are forcing him to do it, but because he actually WANTS to do it. So, sit back, relax and go watch Randys video as I am not sure how much longer I will have it up.

Get the Edge by Learning the Latest Methods for Melting His Heart
If you are looking to Melt Your Mans Heart, youre about to be introduced to 10 tips you can begin using today to become your mans ultimate fantasy. And heres the best part. None of the tips and strategies youll learn today are tricks or manipulation. The strategies you are going to learn work in the real world because they have been field-tested Randy Bennett has spent 25 years counseling women on what to do to improveand often save their relationships. Through thousands of hours of counseling, he has identified what works to bring you closer, and what to avoid that only pushes a man even further away. Randy has worked with women who were absolutely distraught over the state of their relationship with their man. They shared some beliefs in common 1- Their man was cold and distant 2- Their man didnt want them anymore 3- Their man wasnt interested in giving them love 4- Their man was having an affair 5- Their man had lost respect and loving feelings for them 2 | 10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

What Randy discovered and was able to help teach the women he counseled was this 1- Your man is with you because he wants to be (You simply need to turn back the clock) 2- Every man wants to be loved (You simply need to uncover his love language) 3-  Men want to give their woman love but they dont know how (You need to help him understand how to love you) Once you are able to accept these simple truths that Randy has learned through years of counseling, you can begin to see your relationship with fresh eyesand renewed hope. Also, you may look at your man with new understanding. With the help of MarriageSherpa.com, the leading online publisher of marriage-saving programs, Randy was able to survey thousands of men prior to writing his program. What he learned was simply astounding These men opened up about what they really want. Their responses may surprise you, but what they revealed played a monumental role in helping Randy design a program that helps you single-handedly Melt Your Mans Heart. The following 10 tips you are about to learn in this report will help you breathe renewed life back into your relationship. You may even be surprised to see how excited your man becomes about meeting your needs once you start using these relationship-boosting strategies. It all comes down to patterns Good relationships and bad relationships follow certain patterns, so its important to know what to do and what to avoid to guarantee a happy, fulfilling relationship.

Confronting the Myths

One additional comment I should make prior to you reading this report is that you may have heard that one person cant change someone else but thats not exactly true. Ultimately you cant make someone do something against their will, but you can influence them to want to do something, such as treat you better or think of you differently. And Melt Your Mans Heart will show you how to motivate your partner to give you what you need. In turn, your man will enjoy the things he wants out of the relationship, too. Its a win-win. Isnt it true that when a woman is happy in her relationship, ultimately, her man benefits as well? It is So here are the 10 tips that you need to know to become your mans ultimate fantasy.

10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Tip #1:  What Every Man Wants

(but almost no woman gives)

rediscover.

hen you read that, your first thought might have been a blow job? but thats not where were headed with this. In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with sex. Men really do have dimensions to themselves that go deeper than the sexual, as you are about to

The key to giving a man what he wants has to do with a simple form of communication that really turns men on. The secret is direct communication so your man doesnt feel like he has to try to read your mind to understand what you are trying to say. Through my research, Ive discovered that men hate trying to read womens minds because they dont feel successful at doing it. Most women may think they are being direct, but a large percentage of men disagree. Ladies unless you use the direct form of communication, he just isnt getting you. Its not your fault. The majority of women have never been taught how to communicate with men. Women are not to blame and men are equally as guilty. The only difference is you are the one to be congratulated because youre actively looking to uncover how to motivate your partner to become more excited about improving your relationship, and this is how youre going to do it

What most women never learn before they get into a relationship.
Have you ever felt frustrated when you were talking to your man? Maybe you feel like youre both on separate planets and nothing you say sinks into his head? If so, you are not alone and there is a good explanation. After researching hundreds of communication books that discuss the dynamics between males and females there is one common issue that stands out. If you want to get through to your man, you need to communicate with him the way his brain is programmed to receive information. Now what does that really mean? Unfortunately, very few of us are ever taught how to communicate in our relationships so, by default we talk to the opposite sex the way we want to be talked to. That means most women talk to men, the way women talk to women And most men talk to women, the way men talk to men. Do you see where Im going with this? Women who are successful with men have uncovered a secret and here it is 4 | 10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Women who are successful communicate with their man the way men communicate with other men.
In short, they are speaking in a language he understands and responds to. That means 1) You use words, phrases and actions that he understands. 2) You make your requests to him based on the way his brain is designed to receive information. This direct form of communication is something that men find irresistibly sexy and its our number one tip because its something that almost nobody is giving enough attention to. When you learn how to talk to him in the way his brain is designed to receive information hell never complain again about feeling like hes got to read your mind. Actually, hell know what you want and what to do. Heres something else you need to know Over the years Randy has discovered 7 self-sabotaging spirals that can be found in most relationships and this communication gap is one of them. Now, I just gave you one of those self-sabotaging factors, and that is communicating to your man the way women communicate with women. The reason why its considered a self-sabotaging spiral is because its a repetitive behavior that is the road to nowhere no matter how many times you try to get your man to understand youit isnt going to happen. Its like wishing fairies and elves will suddenly appear in your living room: you can focus all of your attention on making it happen, but lets face itthere will never be any fairies and elves dancing around your home. Inside Melt Your Mans Heart, Licensed Therapist Randy Bennett exposes all 7 of these self-sabotaging spirals. And once you eliminate these sabotaging spirals from your relationship, youll: 1) Start to see your partner noticing you more 2) Begin to receive more appreciation from your partner 3) Be amazed when your partner suddenly becomes excited about meeting your needs 4) Be touched deeply when your partner starts sharing his feelings 5) Bask in the loving, secure feelings you will experience To learn what these 7 self-sabotaging spirals areand how you can start reversing the negative patterns in your relationship, I highly suggest you watch Randys new video exposing the methods to Melt Your Mans Heart Today. Okay, on to our second tip.

10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Tip #2:  Get to Know What Makes Him Tick

o you often feel at a loss as to what exactly, makes him tick? Men are motivated by certain things, just as women are. Youre going to learn about them in just a moment.

We all have different drives, desires and needs that are personal to us, as unique as the individuals we are. For you, maybe youre driven to have an immaculate home, or challenge yourself through sports or academic pursuits, or you have your eye on the corner office. Many of these drives and needs are conscious: were well aware of what were striving to accomplish. But simmering just below these more surface needs are deeper, subconscious desiresmany of which are biologically driven. We also have to consider the sex hormones that were born with that drive us at the biological level. For example, women have a nurturing instinct: they want connection and family. Women take care of others, looking after the health and wellness of those they love and care forusually before they look out for their own well-being.

So what motivates men?

Men identify themselves through their ability to provide and protect. This is why men often take a job loss particularly hard. Have you ever seen the look on his face if he lost his job or had a hard time finding a job? Thats because men typically identify with what they do for a career. Women, on the other hand, identify with their ability at having and maintaining close relationships. They may take a job loss hard, but their identity isnt as closely tied to the work they do. Heres the kicker: most men arent even aware they have this need to be great providers. They are driven, but dont even realize this urge is happening at the biological level. This is important for women to know, because once they understand their mans subconscious and conscious needs and drives, they can capture his attention by showing support in those areas. Heres the key were drawn to those who make us feel good about ourselves. If you want your man eating out of your hand, this is an area thats important to him.

10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

5 ways to motivate him

Starting today, find opportunities to: 1) Compliment him about his ability to provide for the family 2) Show interest in his work day 3) Listen and ask about his accomplishments 4)  Touch him (hug and/or kiss him) when he leaves and comes home. Let him know youre excited to see him 5) Share a laughget involved in his daily stories and welcome them What will this do? It gives you the power to make your man feel good about himself by being thankful for what he does, showing your appreciation for him as a human being and sharing a close connection with him through touch and shared laughter. You will be giving him validation, and he will appreciate you for giving him this gift. Even if you are NOT married, make him feel like a man by expressing what a hard worker he is what a good caretaker he is it provides stimulation and appreciation for this area where men attach a lot of personal pride. I just shared with you 5 highly effective ways to motivate your man, but did you know that there are three DEADLY criticisms that will instantly dismember your mans sense of manhood?

3 toxins that push men away

These toxic criticisms will completely kill any goodwill you previously built to motivate your man to improve the relationship, so you need to make sure you avoid them at all costs. These three criticisms strike right at the core of your mans self-esteem and unfortunately, Licensed Therapist Randy Bennett has uncovered that most women do this without even knowing it. Inside Melt Your Mans Heart (page 76) Randy Bennett exposes the latest research and reveals exactly what these three criticisms are, how they instantly destroy the intimacy and what you can do right now to erase their harmful effects. Knowing what makes your man tick is an important first step in developing a connection, but before you can gain ground, you need to learn how to prevent the negative patterns that sabotage your good works. That leads us to tip # 3.

10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Tip #3:  The 1 Thing You Can Do to Nurture a DEEP Connection with Him

f you really want to have a deep emotional connection with your man, then youll need to learn how to avoid his triggers. I dont mean walking on eggshells around him. Heres what I mean.

Think for a moment about what encourages him or makes him feel good. Now think for a second what quickly makes him feel upset, irritated or just plain batty you know what Im talking about! Those times when you really want to get under his skin, and you say or do something that gets him fired up. Now, Im not saying youre a bad person because you flip the switch on his negative triggers. No, youre simply normal. We all do it however; successful women in relationships learn which triggers to stay away from at all costs because those interfere with the emotional connection they crave. Let me explain more about these triggers. If youve been in a relationship long enough, you develop something Randy Bennett calls relationship memory. Heres an easy example Have you ever heard a song on the radio and immediately felt sad or happy because that song reminded you of a moment that is imprinted on your brain? You probably felt the emotion before you consciously thought about the experience. That emotion was triggered by a previous experience. Because the experience was intense enough, your brain stored that emotion into your memory to remind you (in future times) whether to accept or reject that experience. Its all automated. You react without thinking. Those are triggers. Thats a perfect example of relationship memories and the longer were together the more memories we develop that can trigger certain emotions So lets talk about the triggers that are B-A-D (especially when we know what were doing.) We all have the tendency to reach out and flip that switch on those certain triggers we know will get a rise out of our partner, and it happens when we feel things arent going our way or were disappointed in our partner about something.

10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Now there are two specific ways that we can flip these switches and I want to talk about them quickly. Trigger Action #1: Maybe we do or say something consciously The trick is catching ourselves before we do it and avoid triggering a negative reaction from our partnerno matter how tempted we may feel to get that rise out of them as a way of paying our partner back for not seeing or doing things our way. Trigger Action #2: Maybe we do or say something subconsciously Those are the times youre left scratching your head. For example, have you ever experienced a time when he got really mad about something you innocently said or did and he either yelled at you or stormed off ? You may have stood there, wondering what hes so upset about. You know you didnt do anything on purpose to upset him. But, he is definitely upset, and youre puzzled as to what just happened. Your man doesnt consciously get mad or retreat from you. Its an automated response that is happening at a level hes not even consciously aware of, and its a biologically programmed response called

Fight or Flight Response

This automatic response is triggered when the part of your brain called the amygdala senses danger. What happens is that a bank of memories is created, so anything that resembles a negative experience is placed into the memory bank so it can be processed quickly. Think of this as a terrorist watch list. You see, the amygdala doesnt have the luxury of the higher-reasoning part of the brain to think things over, weigh the pros and cons, etc when your life could be in danger, you need an immediate reaction, not a bunch of chin-stroking, head-scratching and pondering. So what does this have to do with your man walking away when you say something? Its because his brain has recognized that word, action or gesture, matched it up with one that has happened before that meant trouble. And before he had time to think it through he was in the fight or flight mode. So what can you do about this? The good news is that you now have the opportunity to give yourself the edge. Imagine if you had a crystal ball and knew exactly how to sidestep all the landmines that destroyed the intimacy in your relationship. Now you can. Licensed Therapist Randy Bennett has been working with couples for over 25 years and hes been studying the latest advances from neurobiology and the science of relationships. You can eliminate those negative responses and turn off that automatic response system by learning what his triggers are. 10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand | 9

Heres exactly what you do: First, think of a few actions you know set him off. Be specific. You know what they are, if you dig deep enough: you use a tone, you make a face, you have a specific phrase you say when discussing a touchy subject, whatever. And when you use any of these things, you get a negative response out of him. Write those down now and remember them. Second, go straight to the source: ask him what you do that sets off his emotional firebombs. But dont get defensive let him have his say just listen. He may feel reluctant at first to share, or maybe hes not even aware that there might be something specific linked to his going off. Regardless, after you begin compiling your list here is what you do Avoid those words or actions at ALL COSTS. Its as simple as that. Your man will go nuts. He wont believe that you are so attentive to taking care of him and his needs, that you are actually spending time trying to figure out how to improve life for him! But thats not where youll benefit. Instead of swimming upstream, youre going to create a positive environment where you can have a deeper connection while you communicate.

Hes going to be thinking who is this treasure of a woman?

Once youve learned the triggers to avoid, youre light years ahead of most relationships. And INSIDE of Melt Your Mans Heart, Licensed Therapist Randy Bennett will show you exactly how to redirect those negative patterns into more positive patterns so that you can open him up, get him talking and get your emotional needs met. Once you learn this simple technique, his brain will no longer go on auto-pilot and negatively respond Instead youll open up new paths for positive interaction. This is what Randy calls rewiring the intimacy circuits. In fact, nobody is really talking about this and its a shame, but its extremely powerful and it works in almost any situation. Randy Bennett will show you how to tap into his brain, see what else triggers him and uncover how to motivate him in positive ways that stimulate love, acceptance and intimacy. Youll learn (on

Rewire the Emotional Connection

Use this link to watch Randys new video and discover what you can do and say to rewire the emotional connection and melt your mans heart.

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10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

page 109) how to recognize physical indicators of these emotional reactions and prevent negative reactions before they happen. Its a proactive approach to take, rather than chasing after the train when it has already left the station. This approach has proven to be one of the single factors that changes the tide but there is one other method that has helped thousands of women put the odds back into their favor by using this one thing to re-capture his attention and that leads us to tip #4.

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Tip #4:  Develop a NEW Style That Drives Him Wild

ave you ever looked at another woman and thought Whats she got that I dont?

Well the simple fact is that she doesnt have anything more than you but theres one thing she may be doing differently and that is something you can think of as confidence projectiona very sexy trait. We are attracted to certain behavior types and there is a specific style of behavior that attracts men like bees to honey. And the key lies in how we communicate. Let me break it down by explaining 4 types of communications patterns. Three are relationship suicide and one is like natures Viagra. These four styles are: 1- Passive 2- Aggressive 3- Passive-Aggressive 4- Assertive

Can you guess which style men go crazy over?

How you communicate directly impacts the response you get from your man. And the assertive woman comes out the winner, over and over again. The reason why men find an assertive woman sexy is because he finds her confident but not bitchy And to a man, that drives him nuts. A man gets the assertive woman because shes speaking his language and he doesnt have to read her mind. (Men hate trying to figure out what a woman is thinking they struggle with doing it successfully, and who wants to feel wrong all the time?) Those other styles of communication? Theyre not successful, and starting on page 27 of Melt Your Mans Heart, Randy Bennett goes over each style so you can determine which one you are and how to erase any negative patterns. Think about it this way by taking this short quiz [ ] Does he walk all over your ideas or suggestions? [ ] Do you keep your opinions to yourself because youre afraid of conflict?

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[ ] When conflict arises do you feel anxious and forget what to say? [ ] Do you feel resentful because he doesnt meet your needs? [ ] Do you voice your opinion every chance you get? [ ] Do you have a hard time admitting when you are wrong? [ ] Do you often say yes, but you want to say no? [ ] Do you find yourself doing little things to annoy him on purpose? If you answered yes by checking any of the above boxes, then I want to congratulate you. That means you have a new area in your relationship that you know you can improve to see the positive change. Remember, none of this makes you bad it makes you normal. And once you uncover why men react to these communication styles, youll learn what to do and say to get a different response. Inside Melt Your Mans Heart, you can discover for yourself which communication style you have and how it affects levels of intimacy in your relationship.

Click here to watch Randys latest video revealing the secrets women use to become the only woman hell ever want.

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Once you understand the different communication styles and which of these most closely fits your interactions with him, you will begin to see why your man may treat you the way he does and you never realized it came down to a simple style of communication. Yes, sometimes its the most basic thing that trips us up. Youll learn how your communication style is either helping or hurting your emotional connection with him and why you feel so dissatisfied in your relationship with him. Then to top it off, youll discover Randys 10 step process for becoming assertive (page 34) so you can enjoy what successful women have. In short, men treat assertive women differently. They: View her as self-confident Speak to her with respect Listen to her when she speaks By uncovering how to modify your style of communication with your man, you can enjoy what so many of these successful women enjoy: commanding the respect you deservewithout having to demand it or beg for it. And the best part is that when you earn a successful response in one area, it paves the way for successful responses across multiple areas. That moves us on to another important principle. Did you know that relationship scientists have uncovered principles that can almost guarantee success in relationships? Youll learn about it next in tip #5.

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Tip #5:  The #1 Predictor of Relationship Success

id you know that there is a way to predict relationship success? Relationship experts can listen to a 20-minute conversation between the two of you and predict the future of your relationship.

Its not magic its just an awareness of which relationship patterns are ticking time bombs. This may surprise you: researchers have found that people who argue the most are not the ones whose relationship is doomed. So, put your mind at ease: conflict is not, by itself, an overriding factor for why relationships break up. But theres a reason for that What researchers did find was that for every negative interaction successful couples managed to bank up a bunch of positive interactions. The effect? All of those positives outweighed the negative, until they were no more than tiny bumps along a long, happy road.

Randy Bennett calls it the Rule of Six

After 25 years of counseling, Randys observed a common theme among almost all couples. Most couples seem to forget how to have fun. No wonder people argue and feel disgusted all the time! That is why experienced therapists will typically prescribe a fun-night for couples who are having issues. Heres why Relationship Scientists from the University of Washington discovered that couples who are able to repair arguments quickly on average do 5 more positive actions than negative. Whats the lesson? We need to be more positive! Men love it when their woman is positive. So what can you do? Think of 5 things you can do today that will catch his attention. They dont have to be big: 1. A compliment 2. A hug 3. A kiss 4. A kind word 10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand | 15

5. A surprise 6. A sticky note with a sexy comment 7. Snuggling on the couch The ideas are endless but remember this

The good definitely outweighs the bad.

That argument you had yesterday it loses some of its bite when its surrounded by all kinds of positives. Now, those researchers settled on 5 as the number of positive interactions as a predictor for a successful relationship. But Randy has found that couples who have not built up a strong bank of positive interactions need to go one better and aim for six interactions. Couples who have been struggling have a lot more negative interactions to counteract, so the extra push can help get you there a little faster. Also, Randy uncovered a simple truth: you can never have enough positive interactions, so he wants couples to aim for the gold by continuing to set the bar high in their relationship. Randy has observed a lot about what works and what doesnt work in his 25 years of working with couples. He has developed what he calls the Bakers dozen13 healthy relationship skills hes identifiedin addition to the Rule of Six. On page 57 of Melt Your Mans Heart, he shares with you these 13 skills that he has found to be the fertile ground where a successful relationship can grow. So many women beat their head against a wall trying to figure out the key formula for what will make this relationship work Randy has removed the guesswork and lays it all out for you, with actionable steps you can begin taking immediately with minimal effort. Think of these 13 skills as your relationship manual condensed into easy to understand language. Successful couples know how to be successful. It isnt luck. If you simply wait for your relationship to click youll be waiting for a long time. Speaking of success Besides all the things you should say did you know what successful woman NEVER do? Next, with tip #6, youre going to learn what you should never say if you want have your man eating out of your hand. Click here to watch Randys latest video and discover the all important shift you can make to influence him to change. 16 | 10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Tip #6:  The 3 Things to Never Say

D
Right?

id you wake up this morning and think to yourself How can I emasculate my man?

Of course not but unfortunately we do and say things all the time that makes our men feel well, unmanly. I know you dont intend to do that but negative comments squeeze the air out of our relationships love bubble before we even know what happened. If youre like me most of us try to keep our foot out of our mouth as much as possible but sometimes it just happens.

And often, in our close relationships, we get lax and say things we wouldnt dream of saying to a stranger. And then when intimacy and loving feelings disappear, you may feel helpless and wonder, What could I have done differently? How did I make his feelings for me change, and how can I undo the damage? Were only human, and we all say things at some point that later make us cringe, asking ourselves, Why did I say that? What was I thinking? That is why I want to show you 3 things that can push a man away faster than a physical shove. So if you want a guaranteed way to push him away from you, then do any of the following

The 3 things that push a man away.

1- Criticize his inability to provide for himself and his family 2- Criticize his lack of interest in spending time with you or the family 3- Criticize his lack of contribution to the household Even if youre not married and you make comments about his ability to provide, its the same thing: these criticisms destroy a mans sense of manhoodand therefore, his sense of security with you. If he doesnt feel like you respect him hell stop trying with you. These are some of the most painful things you could ever say to a man, and you probably never even realized it. Even if youre so angry you feel like your heart is about to leap out of your chest, make sure you avoid these three things like the plague.

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Remember, a man is motivated by his ability to provide, and his sense of self is closely tied to his ability to do so. If you attack his ability to provide, youre basically attacking his sense of self, which is deeply wounding for anyone to experience, and no doubt you never meant to do that. But when you attack his ability to provide, what could possibly be his defense? It pushes him into a cornerand away from wanting to share an emotional connection with you. So, if you want to keep your man close to you, avoid saying any of those three things or dont be surprised when he avoids you because he associates you now with pain. And thats just one means for pushing away a man. There are other ways you may be pushing him away without realizing it. In Melt Your Mans Heart, Randy will teach you about the bad habits that erode intimacy (page 98). Next, learn a good habit you can do, using tip #7.

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Tip #7:  A Little Known Secret for Getting his Attention

As youve learned so far, one way to get him eating out of your hand is to begin building that bank of positive interactions you read about earlier and you can do that by taking an interest in him. Heres how Take a few minutes and think of something he loves to do or something he loves to talk about. How about football? (I know youre probably cringing right now.) Throw aside your opinion for a second. Have you ever been to a football party and one of the guests was a woman wearing a football jersey? Well, she could be the ugliest woman in the room, but guess what? Men find her attractive. Why? Because she has taken an interest in what the men like, and they can relate to her on the common ground of a mutual understanding and interest. When you become curious about things he values hell be interested in you. Thats because were naturally attracted to people who have something in common with us, and thats why I want you to develop ways in which you can share some common interests. It was the famous relationship expert Dale Carnegie who said in his famous How to Win Friends and Influence People one of the most effective ways to win friends is to make people feel important when they are around you. And one way to make someone feel important is to become curious about them or curious about things they value. Your man is no different. He wants to feel good about himself, to feel valued and accepted. Consider it

heres one way to get a mans attention that is built on an idea from someone who is worldfamous for helping people learn how to positively influence others, and Ill tell you who that is in just a moment.

A gift that you can give to him

The bonus is, when you maintain interest in him or something he values, hell be interested in you. Its exciting for him to share with you, because hell feel understood by you, and youre connecting with him on a deeper levelwhere his hearts passions lie. This is where you want to be, close to his hearts passion, because hell begin to associate you with those passions. This also builds up that bank of positive interactions because it helps you getand stayconnected.

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To get started, tonight you simply need to ask him questions that show youre curious about him and allow him to showcase his positive attributes. If you have been wanting him to share more of himself with you, here is your opportunity: draw him out! He will respond. After all, he is beginning to feel like a king in your eyes. And keep in mind what motivates him: being a provider. So, ask him about work, or even projects hes working on around the house. Once you get the conversation going there is another skill youll want to learn and that is how to encourage him to open up. On page 79 of Melt Your Mans Heart, Licensed Therapist Randy Bennett shares one of the most successful techniques for helping women encourage their men to finally open up. This technique may surprise you because its not what all the magazines tell you to do its actually just the opposite. After you do this, hell be amazed because hell know youve heard him, and even more important, understood him. (Theres a vast difference between the two.) That technique goes hand in hand with tip #8.

Tired of feeling like youre living on separate planets? Click here to watch Randys new video and discover what you can do and say to start connecting with him again.

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Tip #8:  Hit the Pause Button

It starts with understanding what communication is, and what it is not. If you stop someone in the street and ask them to define communication, theyll more than likely say people talking. Okay, they get partial credit for the answer but its missing some key ingredients. There are a lot of times when people think theyre communicating well because theyre talking. But really all theyre doing is just waiting to get their next comment in, formulating their response instead of really taking in the words that the other person is saying. And thats a problem: the focus was on formulating and not on listening.

ost people are poor communicators (even when they think they are good communicators). And, any of us could brush up on our communication skills. Its easy to become lazy and let those skills slip.

Give the guy a chance

Now, lets put that into context with you and your man. You want to share a deeper emotional connection with him. But maybe he has been trying, and youve missed it because your focus wasnt on closely listening to what he has been trying to share with you. And, he has probably been doing the same thing, which means each of you may be missing out on a deeper emotional connection because you are too busy formulating your own responses, preventing you from truly not just hearingbut feelingwhat the other is saying. What I recommend to people is to try this: hit the pause button. This means allowing yourself to be in the moment. That way, your response can truly be in tune with whats being communicated. When your man is speaking, focus 100% on his words. Take in those words, and consider your options for responding, making yourself silently count to 5 in your head before you say anything. Why 5 seconds? Because men respond slower than women and in the silence many times you will find that hell suddenly begin talking again. Ask yourself if your response has to do with what he has communicated to you, and if not, then reformulate. It takes some practiceespecially remembering to count to 5 before giving a response. Were all usually so anxious to share our own thoughts that we rush right in.

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Try this and be amazed when he starts to talk. It takes great communication skills to have a great relationship. You can do everything right all the time but then blow everything to bits with any of the 5 relationship wreckers. Any of these is like dumping sand into your gas tank the result is disastrous. Do you know which of the common relationship wreckers have wiggled into your relationship? Take a quick quiz inside Melt Your Mans Heart and discover the answer. If you really want him eating out of your hand, Melt Your Mans Heart will show you how to uncover and root out those relationship wreckers so you can avoid doing those things that destroy all the good you do attempt. If those relationship wreckers are present, good luck on influencing your man in wanting to treat you better: they get in the way, and you cant get what you most want. Theres another way to influence your man, covered next in tip #9.

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Tip #9:  Pre-Planning Prevents Relationship Drift

ometimes couples run into the relationship danger zone because a whole slew of assumptions get made. Now, what do I mean by that?

People are generally in touch with their own needs, and they know how they would handle a situation. For example, lets say your boss told you, Starting next week, we need everyone working on the weekends for the next month. You may operate under the assumption that your man will be okay with not having a lot of time with youbecause thats how you would be if it were him having to work extra. So, you figure hell understand that all you plan to do for the next few weeks is put your feet up when you get home. Going out is going to be put on the backburner while youre pulling these extra hours. Meanwhile, he assumes youll carve out some time during the weekend to go out for the evening, because thats what he would do. Neither of you means harm to the relationship, but do you see why a blow-up is about to occur?

Why Relationship Drift Happens

So what happens is no one talks about it. You assume everything is good, and he assumes youve kicked him to the curb. What was needed was a discussion beforehand and thats how relationship drift can begin. When you dont talk to each other about possible circumstances that could pop up and interfere with your relationship, youre caught off-guard when a blow-up does happen. Resentment has a way of percolating below the surface when expectations arent meteven when those expectations were never spoken out loud! Basically, a discussion is the chance to work through a what if scenario: What if I have to work seven days a week what are your expectations for the kind of time you would expect me to give under that circumstance? When people make assumptions, they are working off their internal expectations. And unless you bring up your expectations, your partner wont know. Having a discussion can save a lot of hurt feelings, miscommunication and misunderstanding. This means when a roadblock is thrown up that interferes with your emotional connection you havent planned ahead and worked together to develop a strategy so you can overcome it together. 10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand | 23

If you want to avoid relationship drift, you need to be proactive. Successful couples dont put their heads in the sand when it comes to issues in their relationship. Instead, they take the initiative to work together to face problems. To think that a successful relationship means absolutely zero problems also means youre setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment. Youll learn more about that on page 66 of Melt Your Mans Heart. Problems can actually be opportunities to bring a couple closer together. Theres one healthy skill in particular that successful couples use to recognize those opportunities that brings them together rather than allowing a wedge to be shoved between them. Next, youre going to learn a strategy you probably havent tried yet, but when you doyoure going to have him eating out of the palm of your hand. Learn why that is in tip #10.

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Tip #10:  Never Reject Sex

o, hows your sex life?

If you respond, Eh then pay attention. Recent research findings support that sex is very important to a man, and if you want to know if your relationship is going to lastyou need to take the temperature of your sex life right now. When Relationship Scientists studied sex and its role in a relationship, they discovered that men feel validated through sex. It makes a man feel powerful. Also, they discovered that whether or not a relationship will last is determined by how a man gauges his sex life. Denise Donnelly, a professor of sociology at Georgia State University, studied sexless relationships and found theres a direct correlation between how much sex a couple has and how happy they are. She did one study and found that people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those who were having regular sex. And, theres no ideal numberits individual, which means if one partner isnt happy with the amount of sex, youve got problems. Randy Bennett has worked with women who thought the best way to get what they wanted out of their man was to withhold sex until they got it, and guess what?

Regularly withholding sex will backfire.

If you make a habit of saying no to sex, it can create more tension in the relationship, and it drives him away emotionally. He begins to think things are hopeless, because one of his ways of expressing himself to you intimatelythrough sexhas been shut off. He begins to feel insecure, and guess what? You are seen as the author of his pain, rather than his loving companion. Keeping the lines of communication open about sex is a healthy habit, because its so intertwined with intimacy. And, there are much more effective ways for getting your point across or making your man pay attention than resorting to denying sex. Youll learn these effective strategies in Melt Your Mans Heart, and youll never again be tempted to use the withholding of sex as a way to get him to hear you. For example, on page 115, youll learn why you should focus your attention on building a Love Cocoon, and why a man is drawn to the Love Cocoon (it goes much deeper than sex). Melt Your Mans Heart is packed with solution-based advice just like these 10 tipswhich are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

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In Melt Your Mans Heart, youll learn the latest revolutionary relationship research, and how it can be appliedtodayin your relationship. These scientifically-based strategies have been tested on couples struggling to reconnect, and used successfully by women at the end of their rope on how to get back their mans love and attention. Preliminary response has been overwhelming for Melt Your Mans Heart, and relationship experts everywhere have been quick to sing its praises. Its information that anyone can benefit from if they are interested in understanding how to make human relationships work.

Click here and watch Randys video to discover a simple but effective communication strategy that acts like natures Viagra for a man But most especially, its for the woman who feels she has tried everything to get through to her man, but hasnt yet been successful and doesnt know what else to do. Maybe youve subscribed to a bunch of womens magazines and waited breathlessly each month for the next issues arrival to see what tip of the month theyre offering this time since the whipped cream and strawberries in the boudoir didnt work, and the meet-him-at-the-door-in-undies failed to get his attention. Those are tricks Melt Your Mans Heart contains no tricks, no artifice, no fake behavior or uncomfortable negligees. Instead, you will have strategies that you can begin using immediately which reach deep in to touch who your man is at his core. Hell be eating out of your hand because he wont believe his luck in having found such an amazing, confident woman who seems to know how to make things work. Dont waste another day in an unsatisfying relationship

Click Here to Get Started with Melt Your Mans Heart Today

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10 Tips to Have Him Eating Out of Your Hand

Praise for Melt Your Mans Heart from Relationship Experts:

Melt Your Mans Heart is going to make a lot of couples fall in love all over again. This program is a win-win for couples. Not only does it teach women real methods for influencing their husbands to treat them like queens, it shows women exactly what their men want and once women tap into that circuit it makes the woman irresistible. I love it when programs are designed to be easy, clear and straight forward. Randy is a true professional with wisdom every women needs to hear. I highly recommend this program.

Arielle Ford

Author, Wabi Sabi Love

Every woman in a relationship should get a copy of this program. Licensed Therapist Randy Bennett has created a step-by-step program that will show you how to get the emotional connection and love you always wanted from your husband that touches your very soul. Based on the latest relationship science, this is an amazing eye-opener for all couples. Youll develop new ways of opening up your spouse, but more importantly youll learn proven communication skills to influence him to treat you the way you want. Get this program. Dr. Bob Huizenga Author, Break Free From the Affair Author Randall E. Bennett provides easy-to-read guidance and the level of detail needed to help you transform your marriage into one of intimacy, connection, passion, and enjoyment. He zeroes in on how women sabotage themselves, how to reignite attraction, and how to have the know-how and confidence to implement these changes.

The program is built on a powerful premise, one that I believe in and endorse: People can change for the better. And its based on Bennetts 25 years of clinical/counseling experiences and the best research-based practices of successful couples. The goal is empowerment and a warm, loving marriage. I will be recommending it to my clients. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. Co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says I dont love you anymore!

Melt Your Mans Heart takes women straight into a mans heart and shows them his deepest needs and desires. As a counselor, I really appreciated the insights into how men think and why they crave intimacy with their wife. I especially liked the section on 5 Powerful Ways to Influence Your Man. Those insights alone are priceless. This is a must read for every woman that wants the power to melt

their mans heart. Bob Grant, L.P.C. Author of The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want To Leave

In our thirty-plus years as therapists and educators weve witnessed amazing success from programs that teach couples how to give and receive appreciation, especially when the love has grown cold. We feel Therapist Randy Bennetts Melt Your Mans Heart is such a masterful program. He shows you the exact skills and shifts you can make to change your relationship destiny and become your mans ultimate fantasy. We highly recommend this program! Drs. Kathlyn & Gay Hendricks The Hendricks Institute

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I really like this program because it was designed just for women and is therefore tailored to the specific problems that many women face in their relationships. I know from my practice that the most common things women want in a relationship are to be paid attention to and to really connect with their partner. This program teaches them how to be more assertive and get those needs met. The techniques that this program teaches will help you understand your man and make him find you irresistible. Give it a try!

Dr Dana Fillmore, Psy.D Stronger Marriage Now

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