Interview With Feeling!

By Ral Carpentier

Cast of Characters Helen Rudy: 30+ female. Well-educated, and caring woman looking to land a good-paying job. 40+ Male. A pompous and arrogant VP type, overseeing a government firm. Dressed in an expensive business suit and wears his glasses on the end of his nose. 30+ Male. A yes man who manages the research department.

Mr. Huffington:

Mr. Price:

INTERVIEW WITH FEELING! INT: Office setting At rise, we see two men sitting in an office preparing to conduct an interview. There is also an empty chair for the interviewee. A knock at the door is heard. HUFFINGTON Come in. Helen Rudy enters HELEN Hi, Im Helen Rudy. HUFFINGTON (the two men rise to shake her hand. Huffington seems indifferent.) Nice to meet you. Im Mr. Huffington, Program Manager of the Office of General Counsel. This is my colleague, Mr. Price. PRICE Nice to meet you. HELEN Likewise. HUFFINGTON Mr. Price is our Research Department Director. please. (She sits) HELEN Thank you. PRICE Did you find the place alright? HELEN Oh yes, not a problem at all. PRICE Good. HUFFINGTON Ok, lets get started. Mr. Price and I have been perusing your resume. We see on your letter of inquiry that youre interested in a research position with this office. Have a seat

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: HELEN Yes, thats correct. HUFFINGTON Do you know what the job entails?

2.

HELEN Yes, my expertise is in research. Ive explored many scientific studies in the conditions of populations of all age groups. My research has also been published in several scientific journals, which I have included with my resume. HUFFINGTON Yes, I received it. HELEN Some of my findings have also been used to implement a motivational program at a public school in Chicago. HUFFINGTON Thats very impressive. But the job youre applying for is a very important position. It takes someone really special to take on such a responsibility. HELEN Yes, I realize that. Thats one of the reasons I was attracted to that field. HUFFINGTON What made you want to apply for a research position with this agency? HELEN Well Ive always been intrigued with knowing why people behave the way they do and how it impacts society as a whole. Im also interested in being instrumental in finding a way to accentuate the good, while at the same time, alleviating the not-so-good attributes we all have. I believe research practice in a government agency puts me at the heart of where I can do my best work for the greater benefit of local communities. I see. HUFFINGTON And you feel you have what it takes?

HELEN I believe so. Im very confident that my experience and education will lend itself to being an important asset to the position. HUFFINGTON I ask that because I have share holders to worry about. To be frank with you, my share holders are my first priority.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: HELEN Quite understandable.

3.

HUFFINGTON What about working in a team with others? (she goes to answer, but he cuts her off and continues) A team is a group of researchers working towards the same goal and achieving it together. Theres no I in the word team, you know. HELEN Well I also consider myself a team player, who loves to collaborate with colleagues to get the job done correctly and efficiently. HUFFINGTON Ok. The right candidate would be reporting directly to Mr. Price, who heads the team in the research lab. Its important for you to know that this is a government agency. You do know that its a government agency, right? HELEN Yes I do. HUFFINGTON And since it is, we would need you to meet certain requirements to be considered. HELEN I understand. HUFFINGTON One of them being proper education. (to Price) Give me her transcripts. PRICE Yes Mr. Huffington. (Hands Huffington her transcripts) HUFFINGTON Let me see...oh, whats this? What happened here...an F? HELEN (Trying to make light of it) Oh yes, that was a course I took years ago. I was right out of high school. I didnt do too well at the time; too busy being a distracted teenager. (tries to laugh it off) I took it again though about 4 years ago. (Points to the grade on the transcript) There it is with an A+.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

HUFFINGTON (to Price) Still impacted her GPA didnt it? PRICE Yes, yes it did, sir. HELEN But I believe I have all the course requirements for the position. HUFFINGTON Well what Im seeing here is that you dont have the proper course requirements. Youre missing Design of Experiments. HELEN (looking at the transcripts) Really? I thought sure...no, here it is...Design of Experiments: Theory. HUFFINGTON I know, but to comply with regulations, what we need for this position is Design of Experiments: Theory and Practice. (to Price) Isnt that what the regulations say? PRICE Yes sir. HELEN But its the same course. Its just a different name. sure the course descriptions would be the same. HUFFINGTON The regs are clear, miss...er... (looks at the transcripts closely) Rudy? HELEN Yes, Helen Rudy. You mean Ill have to take the course again to be considered? Afraid so. the regs HUFFINGTON We have to comply with the legs...er...I mean Im

PRICE (to Huffington, laughing) Freudian slip, huh? HUFFINGTON (laughing, as Helen tries to adjust her skirt lower) (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: HUFFINGTON (contd) I guess so. (to Price) Give me her resume. PRICE Yes sir. HUFFINGTON (looking at the resume) It says here that you have three years experience in research.

5.

HELEN Yes, I did research in the private sector for three years and I did two years of research for my graduate studies, which was included in my dissertation for my Phd. HUFFINGTON The job requirements that were posted were very specific. The right candidate needs five years of research experience. HELEN But I have five years experience with the research I did for my degree. (Huffington looks at Price) PRICE (to Helen) Regulations. HUFFINGTON Five years of actual work, not college. HELEN The two years of grad school research was apprenticeship and considered work in the private sector according to the Dean of Schools. HUFFINGTON Apprenticeship, huh? HELEN Yes sir. HUFFINGTON (to Price) Check on that as soon as you can, Price. PRICE (making a note) Yes sir, Mr. Huffington.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

HUFFINGTON (to Helen) We also require certification. Really? HELEN I didnt see that requirement in the posting. HUFFINGTON We require certification. HELEN May I ask what kind of certification? HUFFINGTON Everyone of my employees is required to take a 30 hour training class withing 90 days of employment, after which they attain a certificate of completion. PRICE Its a very important class. HUFFINGTON I want my workers to be trained on how to operate as a team and maintain good time management skills. PRICE Mr. Huffington is an excellent instructor. HUFFINGTON Thats the goal of my class. Once certified, youll be recognized as someone worthy of employment here. HELEN I see. HUFFINGTON Only certified and worthy candidates are welcomed to work for me. (to Price) Which reminds me, youre due for your bi-annual certification renewal. PRICE Yes, Mr. Huffington, Ill schedule next week. HUFFINGTON Make sure you do. (to Helen) Now, as for you miss Cutie... HELEN Thats Rudy...Helen Rudy.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.

HUFFINGTON Oh yeah thats right...Helen. PRICE (smiling) Another Freudian slip? HUFFINGTON (laughing) Here we go again! HELEN (incensed) Excuse me!? HUFFINGTON Now, Helen, youre also required to have a background check. HELEN Ive had one. Ive been working with the public, as well as children, for a couple of years now. HUFFINGTON Youll have to do it again. I cant take any chances. Youll also need to be fingerprinted. It shouldnt cost you more than...say...fifty dollars. (to Price) Yours should be renewed as well. Yes sir. PRICE Ill get right on it.

HELEN Do you mean to say that its not good enough to have had a criminal background check within the last six months...that I need to do it all over again? HUFFINGTON Thats right. (hands her a form) When youre done with that, fill out this BCI verification form and have it notarized. HELEN Mr. Huffington... HUFFINGTON (cuts her off) By the way, what time was your interview today. Twelve oclock. HELEN Didnt I arrive at twelve?