KHUD PAR TASHADUD KARNA AUR KHUDKUSHI.

Apnay app ko jismani nuksaan ponhchanay ki sooch ana bohot aam baat hai. Aisa nahi hai k woh yeh sab doroun ki tawajo hasil karnay k liay kartay hain. Woh yeh sochtay hain k jin halaat ka samna unko hai unka asaan hull apnay aap ko nuksaan paunchana hai. Aisay hee bohot say loog hain jo apnay apko nuksaan toh paunchatay hain laikin marna nahi chahtay. Woh apnay apko itna mushkil may iss hudd tak ghiray hua samajtay hain k zindagi ko hee khatam karna hee unko sahi lagta hai. Bohot say loog khud-kushi karnay walay logoun ko khudgarz kehtay hain- k woh yeh nahi sochaty k unn k janay k baad baqi logon ki zindagi par kya asar hoga- magar yeh baat sach nahi hai: khudkushi karnay walay log yeh kadam khudgarzi may nahi balke DESPERATION ki waja say. Unko lagta hai k iss k ilawa koi rassta nahi hai. Magar yeh khushi ki baat hai k khudkushi aur apnay apko nuksan paunchanay k khiyalaat ka hull hai. Balke app inn sab halaat k bawajood aap khush reh sakti hain. Agar app jismani tashadud ka shikar hain aur iss rishtay say bahra nikalna chahti hain toh yeh website dekhain: "mai bahar nikalna chahti houn"

Aisay shadi may yahan app jisman tashadud ka shikar hai, khudkushi k khayal ana aam baat hai. Jisamni tashadud ko bardasht karnay wali larkiyan aksar khudkushi k khataray pe hoti hai [1] jismani tashadud k saath saath zabardasti k jismani taluqaat ka shikar hona bhi 25% larkiyon ko apnay apko jismani nuqsan paunchanay ki taraf lay jata hai [3]. Pakistani larkiyan jinho nay khudkushi ki koshish ki hai yeh dekha gaya hai k un may say 25% jismani tashadud ka shikar theen. Aur ziyada tar tashadud karnay wala unka shauhar tha ya phir susral walay ya phir maa-baap [4]. Khud par tashadud karnay walay askar bohot k mukhtalif tashadud sa shikar huay hotay [5] hain aur yeh baat jana zaroori hai k jismani tashadud k ilawa buray ilfaaz ka istemal, jizbati zakham paunchana bhi darr, jazbati dukh, mayoosi, aur khudkushi ki taraf lay ja sakti hain [6]. 6o% Pakistani khawateen jo jismani tashadud ka shikar theen, woh afsurdagi aur 65% aztarab ka shikar theen [7]. Yeh baat jana zaroori hai k khudkushi k khayal eik dam say zehan may paida nahi hotay balke dukh, afsurdagi aur aztarab k saath atay hain. Yeh jana gaya hai k jo loog pehlay kisi behud buray sadmay say guzray houn aur phir jismani tashadud ka shikar ban jaen woh khudkushi ki taraf jatay hain [8] and aisay log ziyada khudkushi ki taraf mael ho jatay hain [9]. Khud pe tashadud aur khudkushi k khaylaat say dochar honay ki waja say bohot akela-pan mahsoos hota hai. Aur agar app aisay halaat say do-char hain aur apnay kareebi logoun ya dostoun say baat nahi karnay sakteen toh koi baat nahi: aisay bohot say loog hain jo apki madad kar satay hain. In mamalaat k maher apki baat tasali say aur raazdari say suntay hain. Dar aur mood ka bar bar badlna yeh sab khudkushi ki taraf lay kar jatay hain aur agar inka ilaaj kiya jae toh khudkushi, aur apnay app par tashadud karnay k khiyalaat khud theek ho jatay hain. App is website par ja kar dekh sakti hain k kis kis tarhan ka ilaaj hai aur aap kis tarhan k ilaaj apko theek lagta hai. Congitive Behavioural Therpay (CBT) khudkushi k khiyalaat ko khatam karnay k liay bohot maufeed sabit hoe hai [10][11][12]. CBT apki sab manfi khiyalaat ko achi sochoun may tabdeel karti hai. Aur iss may yeh bhi bataya jata hai jin khiyalaat say humain khauf ata hai who sirf humaray dimaag may hota haisach may nahi. CBT may khiyalaat ko haqeeqat ki raushani mai dekhana sikati hai and buray khiyalaat ko khatam kar k khud pe ikhtiyar aur himat ka paida karti hai. Iss k ilawa mushkilaat say samna karni ka tareeqa sikhaya jata hai aur app mayoos aur manfi khiyalaat may ghiray huay mehsoos nahi kartay [13].

Yeh kaha ja sakta hai k jitna ziyada sadma eik aurat nay bardasht kiya ho kisi haadsay may utna ziyada woh apnay apko kamzor mehsoos karay gi aur tashadud hotay huay apnay apko bachanay ki koshish nahi karay gi [14]. Is liay kis mazloom ko kisi zalim ko apnay apnay app par tashadud nahi karnay dayna chahiay. Tashadud karnay wala yehi kahay ga k uss nay mazloom apnay upar walay zulm honay ki waja khud hai aur ahista ahista yeh mazloom k zehan may baat hamesha k liay baith jaati hai. Jo k sach nahi hai! [15] mazloom sochnay lagti hai k agar aainda ahtiyat karain toh ho sakta hai k unn par tashadud na kiya jae, magar yeh sach nahi hai. Tashadud karnay wala yeh chahta hai k app khud apnay apko kasoorwar samjhain. Aur hum yeh dekh saktay hain k koi bhi aurat aisay mahaul may kitna ghutta ghutta mehsoos karay gi. Agar app apnay app par tashadud kar rahi hain ya phir khudkushi ka soochti hain toh toh apko aisa lagta hoga k ab koi aur umeed nahi hai. Sab khatam ho gaya hai. Aisay halaat may dimaag may sirf manfi khiyalaat hee atay hain toh k achi socho ko bhi band kar daytay hain. Laikin app yeh sochain k yeh sab khiyalaat manfi khatam ho saktay hai. Jaisay pehlay eik waqt tha jab sab theek that toh woh waqt wapis bhi aa sakta hai. Aagay halaat behtar houn gay aur Chayn ka hisa ban k apnay behtari ki tararkadam liay hai. Bohot say loog apki madad kar saktay hain! Agar app kisi say baat karna chahti hain toh app raazdari may yahan email kar sakti hain: jo@samaritans.org Iss website k baray may mazeed maloomaat k liay iss website ko parhain : http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/different-ways-you-canget-touch/what-happenswhen-i-email). App apnay halaat k baray may humain yahan likh sakti hain (link to Black Room). App apnay likhay huay paigaam ko hamesha k liay delete bhi kar sakti hai aur kisi aur naam say Chayn par likh bhi sakti hai. Aur agar app khudkushi ki sooch k baray may chota sa safa parhna chati hai toh yahan click karain (redirect to http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/). Agar app kisi ko jaantay hain jo aisay halaat say do-char hai toh yaqeenan unko kisi say baat karnay ki zaroorat hai kiyon k woh behud akelapan mehsoos kartay hain. Unko yeh bataen k woh akelay nahi hain aur bohot say loog unsay pyaar kartay hain. Unko yeh mat kahain k unko kya karna aur kya nahi karna chahiay. Yeh baaten un k liay achi nahi. Na hee unn say ziyada sawal poochain. Yeh bhi mat kahain jo marna chahtay hain who kisi ko nahi batatay, aur yeh bhi nahi k yeh tawajo hasil karnay k liay hai kiyon k yeh sach nahi hai! Jo log khudkushi kartay hai unn may say bohot say apna faisla kisi ko bata chukay hotay hai [16][17]. Agar apsay kisi nay aisay baat ki hai toh usko halka mat lain aur na he unko daantan, iss tarhan who aur akela mehsoos karain gay. Unko yeh may bolain k bahadur bano, ya shikyat mat karo, ya isko aisay hee chalnay do, ya phir bhogto. Aisay loog sirf bohot khiyalaat ka shikar ho jatay hain. Unko ko himat dain jinki himat waqti taur par khatam ho gaye hai. Agar app psychological ilaaj k baray may mazeed parhna chahti hai toh yahan click karain (link to treatments). References: [1] Ali, B.S., Rahbar, M.H., Naeem, S., Tareen, A.L., Gul, A., & Samad, L. (2002) as cited in Haqqi, S. (2008). Suicide and Domestic Violence: Could There Be a Correlation? The Medscape Journal of Medicine, 10(12), 287. [2] Barrios, L.C., Evertt, S.A., Simon, T.R., & Brener N.D. (2000) as cited in Haqqi, S. (2008). Suicide and Domestic Violence: Could There Be a Correlation? ThecMedscape Journal of Medicine, 10(12), 287. [3] Boyle, A., Jones, P., & Lloyd, S. (2006). The association between domestic violence and self harm in emergency medicine patients. Emergency Medicine Journal, 23, 604-607. [4] Khan, M. (1998) as cited in Chowdhury, A.N., Brahma, A., Banerjee, S., & Biswas, M.K. (2009). Pattern of domestic violence amongst non-fatal deliberate self-harm attempters: A study from primary care of West Bengal. Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 51(2), 96-100. [5] Chowdhury, A.N., Brahma, A., Banerjee, S., & Biswas, M.K. (2009). Pattern of domestic violence amongst non-fatal deliberate self-harm attempters: A study from primary care of West Bengal. Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 51(2), 96-100.

[6] Sheikh, M.A. (2000, 2003) as cited in Haqqi, S. (2008). Suicide and Domestic Violence: Could There Be a Correlation? The Medscape Journal of Medicine, 10(12), 287. [7] Niaz, U. (2003) as cited in Haqqi, S. (2008). Suicide and Domestic Violence: Could There Be a Correlation? The Medscape Journal of Medicine, 10(12), 287. [8] Jones, L., Hughes, M., & Unterstaller, U. (2001). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims of domestic violence. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 2(2), 99-119. [9] Davidson et al. (1991) as cited in Jones, L., Hughes, M., & Unterstaller, U. (2001). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims of domestic violence. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 2(2), 99-119. [10] van der Sande, R., Buskens, E., Allart, E., van der Graaf, Y., & van Engeland, H. (1997) as cited in Kring, A.M., Johnson, S.L., Davison, G.C., & Neale, J.M. (2010). Abnormal Psychology (11th ed.). Asia: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. [11] Brown, G.K., Ten Have, T., Henriques, G.R., Xie, S.X., Hollander, J.E., & Beck, A.T. (2005). Cognitive therapy for the prevention of suicide attempts. Journal of the American Medical Association, 294, 563-570. [12] Joiner, T.E.J., Voelz, Z.R., & Rudd, M.D. (2001). For suicidal young adults with comorbid depressive and anxiety disorders, problem-solving treatment may be better than treatment as usual. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 32, 278-282. [13] Kring, A.M., Johnson, S.L., Davison, G.C., & Neale, J.M. (2010). Abnormal Psychology (11th ed.) (p.250). Asia: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. [14] Jones, L., Hughes, M., & Unterstaller, U. (2001). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims of domestic violence. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 2(2), 99-119. [15] Riggs et al. (1992) as cited in Yehuda, R. (Ed.). (1998). Psychological Trauma, Review of psychiatry series volume 17, Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press, Inc. [16] Fremouw, W.J., De Perzel, M., & Ellis, T.E. (1990) as cited in Kring, A.M., Johnson,S.L., Davison, G.C., & Neale, J.M. (2010). Abnormal Psychology (11th ed.). Asia: John Wiley & Sons, Inc. [17] Shneidman, E.S. (1973) as cited in Kring, A.M., Johnson, S.L., Davison, G.C., & Neale, J.M. (2010). Abnormal Psychology (11th ed.). Asia: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.