End of Innocence Author: Trixie Disclaimer: Joss is God Rating: NC 17 Authors Notes: this is really my first attempt at writing

Angelus. Pardon me if it bites... oops...excuse the pun *grin* Summary: Buffy goes to London and meets up with an old enemy... Category: MAJOR B/Aus, B/A, MINOR B/R, and shades of Aus/Dar, Aus/Dru, Dar/Dru Anything for sale? Giles pinched the bridge of his nose as he glanced at the blonde Slayer standing before him in her training clothes. No, Buffy. This sale business eludes me. Oh, right, what, they aren't any sales in England? she bantered and he shook his head. Not that I would know about. Anyhow, you are here for training. Not shopping. I know, I know, she lay her hands on her hips, cocking her head. But seriously, I figure I better start shopping at the Magic Box since I spend so much time here. Heyyou ever thought of putting on a couple racks of clothes? Clothes are not magickal, Buffy, he answered wearily as he hung the punching bag from a hook in the ceiling. Concentrate please. You never know when you may run into Glory again. You must be in peak condition. Buffy geared up to beat the hell out of the bag, and threw a couple jabs at it to warm up. Seriously Giles. You're really being a stick in the mud. Training, training, training. That's all I do now. Geezhave you seen my muscles lately? He looked down at the tiny girl, raising his eyebrows and she hastened to exclaim, Wellmaybe you can't see thembut they're there! Shaking his head, he motioned for her to begin. Buffy focused all her attention on the bag, beginning to punch lightly, then harder, sweat appearing on her forehead as she kicked and punched the piece of helpless vinyl, her sleek muscles flexing with the exercise. Still at it, I see. She froze. All the color drained from her face as she gazed at Giles, who looked shell-shocked. Turning slowly, Buffy faced the door. Riley, she said blankly as she caught sight of the tall blond man who stood there. He appeared uncertain as he dropped his bag, nodding to Giles. Buffy, hi, he said softly and she shook her head. What are you doing here? I thought you were fighting for the good of all military people in some remote area of God knows where? Clearing his throat, Giles left the room, mumbling a hello to the commando as he went. Riley took a step closer, and watched Buffy retreat. Just hear me out, he began, his expression earnest. I spent a lot of time in the Junglewith death on my heels every step of the way. And I came to some realizations Buffyyou're what I want. I'll take what I can get. I swear, I will. She hardened and craned her neck to look up at him. Well that's very sweet, she uttered sarcastically, But I don't know what you thinkthat you can just waltz back into my life and expect things to be the same again? You've been gone for four months. Riley I know we can't go back, he murmured. I want us to go forward. Together. Helplessly, she shook her head. God, I can't believe this. You knowyou left. And yeah, I was wrecked. But nowit's different. I don't have a boyfriend and I like it. I'm learning to be Buffynot Buffy and someone else. I can't go back, Riley. And I definitely can't go forward. Not with you. ButI thought you would be gladthat I came back

Why? Cause I ran after you? Yeah, I did. Didn't know that huh? Well, I did and I thought I wanted to catch you. At the time I did. But now, it's different. What we had, she paused. It wasn't real. No matter how much I tried to convince myself after you leftit didn't work. You may have loved me, but I never loved you. Not the way you wanted me to. His mouth twisted in a sneer as he stared down at her. Because of Angel. I know you're still hung up on that. Angel? she said softly and then laughed without humour as she twisted on her heel and stalked around the room. You know, I would really love to know what you think gives you the right to talk about him. I may have told you our history as a courtesy, but don't for one second think you understand, she snapped. Well God Buffy, how the hell do you think I feel, how do you think I felt, knowing you still loved him? That my girlfriend cried out at night for some other guy? I mean, really, do you know how much that hurt? he shouted and she rounded on him, her eyes flashing green fire. Do you know how much it hurt me, pretending to be completed by you, when my heart was still his? Gasping as soon as the words left her mouth, she clapped a hand over her lips, glancing up at him with widened eyes. Never had she thought she would let those words drip off her tongue. Never had she allowed herself to even think them, let alone say them. Riley's eyes darkened with rage and despair. He had known it, but hearing it said aloud was painful. You know, Buffy, I think you should take a good look at your life, he muttered. You actually think you're happy? Look at you. You're thin, pale, those circles under your eyes are obviously from lack of sleepyou're walking around dead. I'm as happy as I'm gonna get. This is me, Riley, she said quietly. As I told you before, this is the package. I just wonder what kind of package Angel got, he said coldly and her eyes filled with bitter tears suddenly. Buffy turned away, her shoulders quivering. I don't want to talk about him. You never really did, he cried. You told me the bare little details. He left you, and that's it. You should have fucking warned me, Buffy. Someone should have told me! Told you what? she screamed, losing all control, her voice breaking. What the fuck do you want to hear?? Nothing is ever enough for you, is it?? What the hell do you want me to tell you? That you would always love him! he yelled back, getting up into her face, his mouth a pained slash, his eyes tortured. That I would never be able to live up to that star crossed shit you two had going! I mean, really, Buffy, you should have warned me that he would always have your soul! How could I tell you she said, her voice small, when I didn't even know? Riley shrugged his shoulders fatally, his whole body wilting as he looked down at the tiny Slayer, his eyes enraged. Don't act like the victim. And don't tell me you didn't know! You should have stopped me from falling for youyou should have told me, Buffy! I didn't know! she shouted, her body shaking with fury. I didn't know! How could I know that I would always belong to him? Love isn't supposed to last forever, Riley! That's just in the movieshow could I ever have known that he would have this hold over me? He left! I should've stoppedand I'm sorry if I hurt you. I am. But I can't do anything about it. I know, he sighed. Look, Buffy, I thought I could come back, I guess, but I don't know anymore. Sunnydale was always yours. I may have lived here for a few years, but it becameyours somewhere along the line during our relationship, and I can't look at it the same way. I'm sorry, she murmured, looking down at the lines her feet were tracing on the floor. I really am, for lots of things. But I can't apologize for what I am. I just could never feel like you accepted me. The Slayer stuff. The baggage that brings. I couldn't, he admitted. But I don't think that was our main problem. Maybe not, she allowed, her eyes shadowed with pain. We never would have worked, Riley. Not to sound clich, but it's better this way. You know, just Buffy and Riley. Not Buffy and Riley, together. His face clenched as he stared at her. You're right, he said wearily and then picked up his bag. I'm going to go. Ok, she replied, nodding. See you sometime?

I don't think so, he answered, and she nodded again, knowing that was what his answer would be. Bye, Buffy. Bye, she said softly, coming forward and hugging him for a quick moment. I did care for you. Not enough though, he answered dully, and left the room without a backward glance. Buffy looked around, her shoulders drooping. She felt like she should be crying or something, but nothing came. Her eyes remained dry. What's the matter with me? she asked herself. Shouldn't she be at least shedding a tear for what she had had with Riley? She supposed that would come later. She realized it was the end of something tonight. She wasn't sure what. A lot of truths had been aired out. Buffy had come to tenuous terms with herself that she still harboured feelings for Angel. For years now, her heart had been cracking under the strain of pretending she didn't care about him. She was good at pretending that he meant nothing. Take the last time they had talked. The hallway had been roaring with the charged emotions between them as they shared a laugh, a little talkand a closure of sorts. Buffy had never admitted it to anyone, but that talk had been the worst she could ever imagine having with him. Even the cruel taunts from Angelus had been better than that cold, sterile, amiable chat they had in the hall outside her room. At least in the past, there was feeling. There was pain, or joy or tears, or cold hatred. But there was never what had been between them that day. Indifference. It had throbbed. Dead. They were dead. Everything was gone, shattered. Riley stood between them, but the real thing that loomed was time. Time had worked its will and the space between them was palpably large. It had yawned between themthe time they had been apart. Buffy wanted to weep at the memory. Picking up her gloves, she started to punch the bag again, lunging and kicking and jabbing until she was soaked with sweat and her hair stuck to her forehead. Grunting, she righted it, then stabbed at it with her foot, wanting to destroy the bag, wanting to release the toxins in her blood. Geezwhat the hell did the bag do? Buffy whirled, panting and stared at the girl who stood in the door, her eyes wide. Cordy, she gasped, holding her side. What's up? What are you doing here? Well Cordelia sighed, and came forward. I have something to tell youabout Angel

What about Angel? Buffy asked, confused as she stared at her old classmate, dropping her boxing gloves on the floor with a thud. Did something happen to him? Welll Cordelia hesitated, and crossed her arms over her chest. Happen is such a strong word Buffy glared at her with hard green eyes. What happened Cordy? Tell me now. Okaywellhe sort oflost his soul. WHAT? Buffy exclaimed, her head rushing with the new information, the room spinning as she fought for control. This couldn't be happening. How could this have happened? What the hell, Cordy? It's Darla, Cordelia said quietly, her expression worried. She got resurrected by this big evil law firm. She also brought Drusilla back. And wellI'm not sure what went down, but somehow they made Angel lose his soul. He didn't try and kill you? Buffy questioned, functioning on autopilot. Usually he likes totorture his nearest and dearest. Cordelia shuddered and leaned against the wall, her straight raven hair swishing against her tanned shoulders. Well, it's not like he didn't trybut he was a little out numbered. And you know, BuffyI always thought I would just stake him if the time camebut I couldn't Buffy's eyes reflected remembered pain as she gazed at the girl. I know the feeling. Listen, where did he go? We need to find him as soon as possible. He took off with his little posse of whores, and from thereI don't know, Cordelia shrugged, smiling. But hey, I'm sure we'll catch up with him soon! I mean, you and your closest friends were always the people he enjoyed killing the most she trailed off at Buffy's expression. Well, I didn't say that was a good thing Okay, first things first she was cut off as Giles entered the room, his eyes bleak as he handed her a

newspaper clipping, rubbing his forehead. She glanced down, the name of the paper, The London Times barely registering as she read the headline. RASH OF BIZARRE, UNEXPLAINED KILLINGS Oh God she murmured. He's in London. Where did you get this? Giles looked faintly sick as he said quietly, I always get a paper sent to me from England. He knows that, Buffy. He wants you to follow him. I don't think it's wise Oh, I'm going, she interrupted and pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to calm herself. This seemed surreal, and she didn't want to believe it was happening. Would she have to kill him again? Her stomach heaved as she remembered the feel of cold sword in her hand, the flash of silverthe gaping woundAcathla's hungry mouth salty lips, slick with sweet tearsClose Your Eyes Could she do it again? Could she make herself? Get the curse for me, Giles, she said coolly to her Watcher, her face betraying none of her emotions. I'm recursing himand find one without the happiness clause thing. That may not be possible, Buffy, he uttered hesitantly, and he and Cordelia shared a look. I have the curse but you would have to take Willow along to perform it and Take Will? No way, she said firmly. I won't endanger her like last time. Angelus and I have to face each other alone. As soon as Dru and Darla are dust, we're going to have a little showdown. In that time I will somehow tie him up and recurse the bastard. All right? Willow can teach me the Wicca. It shouldn't be that hard. Catching the terrified glaze that had shaded Giles' eyes, she arched her brows at him. I'll be fine. Don't worry. I don't think this is wise, Buffythe power that Angel has over you No power over me. I'm my own woman, she said forcefully and then grabbed his arm. Curse, now! And Cordycan you pack for me? Cordelia looked less than thrilled. Oh greatwhat am I? Your personal slave? Ignoring her outburst, she ordered, Pack everything I have in black, all my leather pants, and anything that looks sexy. Her mouth curled as she thought. Angelus likes sexy, which could be useful. Cordelia looked stunned, as she cried, Oh God! You like Angelus? Gimme a break, Cordy, she snapped back, stalking out of the room. I have to find Will. Giles, book me on the next flight. She turned back and eyed him for emphasis. ALONE. ~~~ As Buffy waved to her friends, family and Watcher, she breathed shakily, walking up to the entrance ramp to the plane, wondering what she was getting herself into. It had all happened so fast. Giles unearthed the spell, Willow gave her a crash course in Wicca, Cordelia packed for her, her mother alternately got worried and furious, and Dawn thought it was cool and wanted to go to. Buffy sighed as she walked onto the plane, nodding to the stewardesses, finding her seat without difficulty. Sitting down, she pressed her face against the window. LAX had never looked so good. Suddenly she wished she was back in her room, curled up on her bed, reading magazines, chatting with Willow on the phone, and trying to get Dawn out of her room. Anything but heading off to a foreign country to chase after her demon ex-lover. Closing her eyes, she covered herself with the blue airline blanket and willed herself to sleep. The flight was long enough. She didn't want to spend it worrying. Besides, she needed her rest. There wouldn't be any once she got to London. ~~~ We are beginning our descent into Heathrow. Please fasten your seatbelts and return all tray tables and seats into their upright and locked position. Buffy listened to the monotone of the stewardess and bit her nails. What was she doing? Was she certifiably insane? Taking on three powerful vampires, one of which she used to love, another which she had a huge grudge against, and one that was crazy, not to mention Spike's former lover. The thought occurred to her that if she staked Drusilla, Spike would be furious. He had already been acting strangely anywaywanting to go with her on the tripshaking her head, she shrugged to herself. Who could figure Spike out? As the plane landed smoothly, people onboard clapped, a practice that was not unusual with British people and Europeans. Collecting her bags, she disembarked and went though customs and baggage claims without much difficulty. Catching a huge black taxi, she instructed him to drive her to the Churchill Hotel, where she had

reservations. Buffy dropped her bags in the small but comfortable room and changed into black leather pants and a black sweater. She didn't know where to start looking, but had a good idea. The nightclub scene. Vampires wanted fresh, young blood, and that was where the youth were. She exited the hotel, glancing around curiously. London already fascinated her. She noticed the red telephone booths, the fact that they drove on the other side of the road, the different style of the buildingsmore elegant or something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Grabbing another cab, she got a drive to the center of the action, and wondered where to really start looking. Usually vampires frequented the allies behind the clubs, where they could take their prey without getting caught. Stalking the streets, a waif in black, her keen senses picked up on all the lust throbbing in the air. She had felt him the second she stepped off the plane. His inherent presencesharpened with something feral, wild, animalistic. Angelushe terrified her in ways she had never taken time to explore. Come out she whispered, wishing it was over. Through the crowds of people, she weaved in and out, seeking, seeking. Entering a club without difficulty, she felt the pounding of the techno beat spill over her, and the hazy heat envelope her body. Stripping off her sweater to reveal the black tank underneath, she dropped it in the coatroom, not really caring if she saw it again. Bodies, sleek and young and firm, danced in the throbbing beat of the club, hands grabbing, twisting waists, thighs that curved it all rushed together as Buffy began to dance, trying to get further into the crowds. She could smell himhot and hungrywhere was he? His presence was overwhelming her, sinking into her bones as she let her body undulate, throwing her head back and embracing the sensuality of the music. Slayer It was a hissand she felt hands on her hips, whirling her around. Drowning in his gaze, she looked up at the man who looked like Angel but carried a demon inside him and smiled. Caught ya. He smiled as well, a slow, sleek affair, predatory, hothe looked as if he was going to eat her. Or as if he simply wanted to. Caught? Oh, Buff. You do have so much to learn. But then he leaned in close and she felt his cool lips on her ear, I'm ready to teach you. Not interested, she snapped, and gasped softly as his tongue dipped to trace the lines of the scar on her neck. No? he asked mockingly, pulling her close in one sudden movement, pulling her body flush against his. Funny, cause I would say you aremmmyou taste good Slayer. Like blood. Buffy shuddered, trying to struggle from his grasp, but he held her tight, and she knew parts of her didn't want to escape. Where are the girls? she inquired, arching a brow at him. Dancingtogether he laughed slowly, and she knew what he meant, flushing. Of course she had guessed that vampires were intimate with each other, but the actual reality hit home. LookAngel It's Angelus, Buff. I know it's hard to accept, but yourwell, not even your boyfriend anymore I guess he taunted, he's dead. And I'm what's left. Personally I think we all get the better deal. No one has to deal with the whining and We all get to listen to you talk just cause you like the sound of your own voice? she cocked her head to the side and he growled, bending down and nipping at her neck. You're looking hot, Slayer he breathed, flicking his tongue over her lips, moistening them teasingly. Want a taste? No she groaned helplessly, but he laughed, and it rang with knowingness. No Oh yes His mouth covered hers, and the music pounded in Buffy's chest as she felt her lips being ravaged by this monster she was supposed to loathe. And she didoh Godshe did. It wasn't as if she didn't hate him Curving her body against his, he swirled his tongue in her mouth, drowning her with his taste and scent, gripping her head with one hand as he fed off her lips, nipping them ever so lightly, letting small trickles of blood flow into their mouths. The saltiness flooded her tongue and she muttered helplessly, her thighs rubbing against his leather clad legs, the hot evidence of his animalistic desire for her rising up against her belly. Just as suddenly as he grabbed her, he let go, watched her as she fought for control, her mouth red and swollen, her eyes wide. That was just a taste, Slayer. Much more to come

As he disappeared into the crowd, his duster flying behind him, Buffy licked her blood stained lips and let the beat wash over her once more. She hated him, she was going to kill him someday, somehow, but his kisses were sweet, and the stain of them on her mouth was something she could never wash off.

As Buffy walked into Hyde Park the next day, she experienced the prickling between her shoulder blades, which alerted her that she was being watched. Angelus she thought grimly, unconsciously running her tongue over her bitten lips, a faint saltiness hitting her mouth. Aware of the faint rain that was falling, she wrapped her black sweater covered arms around her tiny body and looked down at where the faint droplets hit her sleek caramel coloured leather pants. It could turn into a downpour any second, but she didn't care. She wanted to get this done. All last night after the disastrous meeting in the club, she had practiced the spell Willow had taught her. It needed to be performed in his presence and Buffy wondered how exactly she was going to accomplish it. Looking around subtly, she heard the ominous rumble of thunder in the distance and the slate grey sky darkened. Luscious trees swayed in the breeze, and as the rain began to pelt down it was like tiny water whips that formed puddles on the road but Buffy kept walking. You know Buff, we have to stop meeting like this. He came out of the shadows beneath the trees, like a monster in a fairy-tale, his duster flying, his beautiful face sleek and predatory in the mist. For a moment she was reminded of one of her favourite movies as a child, Labyrinth. He's the Goblin Kingcome to take me away she thought almost hysterically, and faced him dead on. I didn't know we were meeting, she responded sweetly. I'm just taking a stroll. In the rain? he mocked and she smiled. I like the rain. Angelus' mouth curled in a smile that was purely sexual, inherently animal as he advanced towards her, his black clothes contrasting sharply with the creaminess of his flesh. Only woman I've met that does, he purred. Darla says it makes her hair frizzywhatever that means. Sharp jealously knifed into her belly as she stared up at him. That might actually be an improvement, she replied cattily. Darla could use some work. Reaching out with his thumb, he wiped away an errant droplet of water that clung to her eyelashes. Jealous, Slayer? He leaned in close and the cool skin of his face touched her cheek. Even when I'm inside herit's your name I want to scream. Jerking away from him, she flushed and threw back her head, dispelling the images his words evoked. Listen, can we cut it out with the chit chat? Let's fight. He laughed softly and grabbed her arm. Let's fuck, he growled and kissed her, his lips ravishing hers with a possession so absolute, she was powerless to fight. Slamming her against him, his tongue stabbed into her mouth, his hands gripping her back so tightly, that it would crush a normal being. But she was the Slayer. Furiously she hit at him, but he forced her hands still, tipping her head back and running his tongue hungrily down her neck. Buffy let out a low moan of helpless desire, feeling the rain fill her mouth as it opened, and she bent back, the rasp of his tongue against her sensitive flesh too much to bear. Pleasenooooo she whimpered, and he chuckled, his eyes gleaming with triumph as he sucked ferociously at the scar he had left two years before. You have my mark, Slayer, he muttered, and kissed it with swollen lips. Looks good on you. Almost disgustedly, he flung her away and watched as she lay on the wet ground, her legs spread wide as she stared at him. That's how I want you he growled. Helplessvulnerableall mine With one last look, he left her, and Buffy gazed back at him, realizing as soon as he was gone that she hadn't once thought of doing the spell. ~~~ That night, she walked down to Cannonbury Square, which was located in a part of Islington where some of the murders had taken place. Bar tenders that she talked to said that yes, they had seen two very beautiful women and a tall, dark man around this area, and believed they were living in the apartments owned by a Mrs. Chadwick, who ran a very upscale building with lofts and rooms for rent. Buffy thanked them and was on her

way. She had dressed in a tiny black dress, and covered it with a long glittery black coat. She wanted to distract him, and she knew that even though Angelus hated her, he still wanted her body. That had to be enough. What else did she have to fight him with? Finding the large building, she went in and smiled at the doorman, who tipped his hat to her. Sneaking into the elevator, she realized she would have to rely on her instincts. She took the elevator up and down a couple of times, and measured where she could feel him the most. But it was as she had expected. They were staying in the penthouse. The best, as Angelus always had to have. Exiting the elevator, she crept up the door and put her ear to it. Hearing nothing, she kicked it open with a soft bang, and walked inside. The doors opened into a spacious, sumptuous living and dining area. On the floor at her feet was a man, pale as a ghost and obviously dead. Buffy lay her fingers on his neck, felt no pulse and said a silent prayer, cursing herself for not being able to help him in time. Sounds came from the bedroom. Moans. Feeling sick, Buffy walked down the hallway, careful to tread lightly and peeked into the half open door. Her stomach heaved at the sight before her. Angelus, Darla and Drusilla lay sprawled together among the golden pillows and blankets, their naked bodies richly creamy in the candlelight. Buffy watched, unable to look away, as Darla smiled at her lovers, bending down over her Childe and closing her mouth over his cock. Drusilla looked on, her dark eyes bright, as Angelus teased her nipples with absent fingers. The Slayer wanted to throw up. Something was curling in her stomach, something dark and abstract that she didn't even want to recognize. Join us, Buff? She had known he knew she was there. He would have sensed her the moment she stepped off the elevator. Slayer, Darla hissed, her head coming up, and her mouth gleaming wetly. Buffy stared at her, black rage welling up into her throat like poison. Drusilla turned her eyes onto Buffy and sighed. Come to take him away again, have you? Don't take Daddy, Slayer, she moaned, moving her body close to her Sire's. He smiled slightly, his arm tight around her, but his eyes locked with Buffy's. I'm not going anywhere, Dru, he purred, stroking her back. And I don't think Buff is either. She wants to join us. No thanks, Buffy answered, finding her voice suddenly. Darla looked her up and down, her mouth grinning malevolently. She's hungry for it, my baby. Why don't you just turn her? Or better yet, kill her. I'm weary of playing her silly little games. Angelus' head snapped around to pierce his sire with a glare. I'll decide that, Darla. You may be my Sire, but you're still my Woman, and as such, you'll do what I say. Leave the Slayer alone. Darla giggled, licking her lips with glee. You're angry. Perrrfect she growled and kissed him hard. Drusilla clapped her hands in delight, murmuring gibberish. Buffy stared at the macabre love scene and for the first time in her life, didn't know what to do. Should she run? Yes, that was what she had to do, she realized. Nothing could be solved from just standing here and she knew that she couldn't take them all on. Darla was a very old vampire, extremely powerful, and Drusilla, although insane, was wily. And Angelshe didn't want to kill him. God she thought sickly, her insides wilting as she realized how twisted she was. I should want to get rid of himI wish I wanted him goneI wish I did But in her heart, in her mind's eye, she didn't see the demon he was. She saw Angel. The sweet man. The brave warrior who was fighting for amends, for redemption. Who she could hear screaming, longing to be freed from this monster. She had to save him. She had to get Angel back. But right now she knew she could do nothing. Turning on her heel, she sprinted for the door, but felt a hand on her arm before she reached it. She hadn't forgotten how fast he was, but had hoped that the impediment of covers and two naked vampires would deter him. It hadn't. He pulled her back against his naked body, and her stomach bottomed out as she felt his erection hard and powerful against her lower back. When it was like this, it was so difficult to separate. This could be Angel. Since she couldn't see the cold glint to his eyes, the slight sneer to his lips, it could be Angel holding her so close. Buffy felt weak in the knees and tried to push away from him. Angelus chuckled softly and stroked one hand down her front, lightly teasing her breasts for a moment. You sought me out, Slayer. Must be desperate. I mean, it really is kind of patheticall this time and you still can't kill me

Making an incoherent sound of fury, she felt him dip his fingers into the opening of the coat and travel down her belly to her thighs. Spreading her legs with his hands, he pressed a finger to her center, nipping at her ear. You're wet No. It was said forcefully, but it was a lie. Buffy groaned with frustration, at not being able to over power him. At not wanting to. What game are you playing? she asked him coolly. Our game, he purred, his fingers sliding inside her. She arched her back only slightly, involuntarily and moaned when they shoved in deeper and harder. Our game. Cat and mouse. Tiger and wild deer. Vampire and Slayer. He laughed as she shivered with an indescribable terror. Moving his fingers faster he growled against her ear, felt her slick wetness drip over his fingers. You know what I wonder though? he asked in an almost conversational tone. Who's the one really being hunted? Buffy groaned in helpless desire as he slammed his fingers into her hot wetness over and over, until she contracted around him in shudders so powerful, her back arched and her head was thrown back. Flushed and panting, she collapsed against him. Well, Buff, that was fun, but I must rejoin my women he said quietly, kissing her neck. You understand. Left shaking, and horrified at herself, Buffy stared after him, and clapped a hand over her mouth. What have I done? Turning, she opened the door in a blind panic and ran from the penthouse, the only sound in the quiet elevator, her wrenching sobs. Angel her heart screamed. I need you. Please, help me She waited, waited in vain, hoping for a whisper, a sign, a memory that would shimmer in the air and remind her of his unfailing support, his love. But all there was in the tiny space was silence.

It was dark in the hallway. Buffy stood outside the penthouse, her body shaking with a terror she barely understood. Had it been only last night that Angelus had raped her with his fingers in this very space? Had it been only that little time since she shuddered against him? Since her skin betrayed her? Kicking open the door with one booted foot, she entered the hotel room warily, her heart pounding in her chest. Taking care not to make noise, she walked in the direction of the bathroom, where she could hear voices. Her feet making barely a sound on the plushly carpeted floor, she crept up to the door and opened it slightly. Gazing at the sight before her eyes, she wondered what to do. Darla and Dru were in the shower, their sleek pale bodies entwined. The water flowed over them like crystal, glowing on their skin as they kissed and Darla reached between Drusilla's legs to tease her clit. Buffy stared at them. In all her worldly Slayer experience she had never seen such a thing. Eyes. His eyes. She could feel them on her. Turning her head, she saw him and her stomach bottomed out. Lying in the tub, his gaze locked onto her, watching her watching his body as it moved, sitting up in the tub, his muscles rippling wetly. Hello Buff, he began conversationally. Darla and Drusilla whirled, and the older vampire sighed with annoyance. You want to join us or something blondie? she snapped, laughing, her red mouth full and wide. It might be quite an experience you know. Swallowing nervously, Buffy shook her head. I want to be alone with Angelus. She didn't even think about trying to kill them now. She didn't want Angelus angry. She wanted him pliant. Vulnerable. Get out, ladies, Angelus purred to his lovers, motioning them towards the door. They shot a look at him and Drusilla wrinkled her nose. Where are we going to play now? she wondered inanely, and dipped her head to kiss Darla's shoulder. You taste sweet, my pet. Like berries. Blood soaked berries. Darla stroked her back, smiling down at her. My favourite kind she murmured, and eyed the Slayer. We'll be in the next room. You'll get out of the apartment, her Childe warned firmly, and Buffy stepped aside as they left, and Drusilla playfully reached out to grab a lock of her flowing blonde hair. Jerking away, she stared at the closed door. So the water made a slapping noise against the side of the tub as he sat back, his arms on either side of him. What do you want with me, Buff? Something important, I guess? To go to all this trouble?

Taking a breath, she spun around and their eyes locked and burned. Green clashed with dark brown. She dropped his coat and watched his eyes widen. Well he drawled, as he looked her up and down, took in the black corseted dress, the ties that tugged in her tiny waist and made her breasts full and high, the cut of the skirt that came to her thighs, her tanned, gleaming legs uncovered, the boots that came to her knees, and her defiant pose as she stared him down. I'm just playing our game she sauntered over, answering his unspoken question. As she got closer, she could see more and more of his lithe, milky pale body, and felt the familiar rush between her thighs. You know the one she whispered, taking off her boots. Cat and mousetiger and wild deerSlayer and Vampire I see he muttered, watching her movements as she sat down on the side of the bathtub, crossing her legs. Suddenly, without warning, he hauled himself up and stood before her, his body dripping, every inch of him before her, enveloping her so all she could smell, or see, was his flesh. Buffy gasped softly, realizing it was now or never. She had to get him under her spell. Reaching out with her hand, she dragged it across his thigh, feeling the flesh contract slightly under her touch. Droplets of water clung to him, and leaning over, she licked them with an experimental tongue, the contrast of the cool water against her hot tongue a shock. He growled and gripped the back of her head, forcing her towards his engorged cock. Buffy grasped the heavy column of flesh with warm fingers, closing her mouth around the head and laving it with her hungry tongue. Groaning, he squeezed her shoulder, his fingers biting into her flesh as she took more and more of him in her mouth, felt a bead of saltiness drip down her throat. Sucking with all the power in her lips, she used her cheek muscles, to draw him farther and farther into her, ramming him down her throat and working her tongue around him. He flung his head back, not making any sounds except incoherent groans as she ravished his cock with her mouth and tongue, her head muzzy and dizzy, his flesh filling her lips to over flowing. Without warning, he grabbed her, and pulled her upwards, suppressing her moan of protest with his mouth crushing her lips. Whimpering, she wound her arms around his neck, and he unlaced her corset with impatient fingers, ripping it from her body with a violent tug. Palming her breasts, he bent and sucked voraciously on her rosy nipples, and Buffy arched her back, her head feeling like it was going to explode. Her thighs were tight and hot. She could feel the wetness dripping down her legs. Godshe wanted, needed him inside her. Slayer he groaned against her flesh, going down on his knees, until she felt the stab of his tongue in her center. White-hot fireworks shot behind her eyes. Buffy screamed, her body jerking with shock as he shoved his tongue inside her, holding her legs apart with strong hands. Ohhhhh she cried, falling backwards. He caught her easily with one hand, tearing away her skirt and sitting back in the hot water, drawing her on top of him, so her hips straddled him. Ride meSlayer he hissed and through her haze of lust she remembered she was supposed to do something what was it? It didn't matterall that mattered was himinside herAngelus gripped her slim hips and shoved up, filling her completely. She fell against him, and he held her as he thrust up and up, his thighs clenched as they moved, their pelvises grinding together as they each tried to gain the upper hand. She came again and again, her insides contracting around him in spasms of helpless, dark pleasure. Angelus growled and, still holding onto her, he stood up, pressing her back against the wall, shoving inside her again, ravaging her center with hard strokes of his cock. Slamming into her so fast and deep her feet were lifted off the tub floor, the ridges appeared on his forehead, fangs appearing from his gums. Sweet he muttered, and dipped his head, sinking his teeth clean and deep in her neck. The blood spurted, filling his mouth , and as it pumped, Buffy came, her body remembering a time in the past. This was the same mouth that had drank her then, and it was difficult to separate. Angelus and Angel. Angel! Suddenly she remembered. The spell! Searching her drowsy brain, she thought of it, and began to whisper it, hoping he wouldn't hear her. Her voice was faint. Te implor Doamne, nu ignora accasta rugaminte! Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-I va transporta sufletul la el! His head shot back, his fangs dripping with blood as he stared at her, realizing what she was trying to do. Buffy, gritting her teeth, sank her nails hard into his neck, holding him in place. Angelus roared in pain, his eyes bright with fury and panic, as she continued, her voice stronger and getting louder with each word. Este scris, aceasta putere este dreptul poporuil meu de a conduce she cried, and then their eyes locked and he howled with rage. Asa sa fie! Acum! she shouted and he shuddered, his eyes shining so brightly she was blinded for a moment, and he fell, rasping and panting, against her.

Buffy closed her eyes, leaning back against the wall, hoping and praying it had worked. Then a voice. Buffy? Tears spurted past her lids, streaming down her cheeks. That was his voice. Only his. Angel she said softly, looking at him. He gazed down at her, obviously completely confused. What's happening? he asked her, and then looked down at them. She flushed a bright pink, having forgotten they were both naked. Suddenly his stare was drawn to her neck. The two twin holes gleamed red in the light, and he looked stricken, flinging himself away from her. God! he exclaimed. What?? Did I do that? Buffywhat's going on? She grabbed two towels, wrapping one around herself and tossing the other to him. Calm down. Yes, you did do thisand I don't know what happened she paused. What's the last thing you remember? Darla he said wearily, resignation coming over his features. Shewas doing a spellI couldn't stop hershe took my soul didn't she? Yes, Buffy replied simply, leaning against the wall. We're in London. You took off from LAthey had to come get me and He cut her off with a frenzied look. Oh my God he murmured sickly. CordyWes It's all right, she hastened to reassure him. You didn't kill themI meanthey were able to fight you off He bowed his head, staring down at the floor. BuffyI'm sorry. For what? she asked, shocked. He took a step towards her, his eyes tortured. Didhewhat did he do to you? Buffy colored. She wasn't sure if she was ready to admit her willing part in the wild sex of earlier. He would remember soon enough. How could she explain it to him? He would be shocked and repulsed that she could wantneedcrave that part of him. The darker side. The animal side. She wasn't even sure she understood it herself. Why don't we talk about that later? she suggested, coming towards him and leading him into the bedroom. Darla and Drusilla might be back soon. You should restbefore we have to face them. He looked around at the silken sheets, the traces of blood, the stains that nights of sex left, and shook his head. Let's go find them he said softly, his expression tired, and it scared her. He appeared blank. But she knew he must be in shock. In terrible shock at the knowledge he had been Angelus again. Ok, she said quietly, reaching over and lacing her fingers through his. Gazing down at them in horror, he jerked away and made for the door, leaving Buffy, surprised and frightened, standing alone in the middle of the bedroom. It still smelled of him. As she started to follow, it started to dawn on her that this had changed him. He was running scared. And she didn't know what to do.

As Buffy and Angel strolled out into the dark London night, she stared at his unflinching back and wondered what he was thinking. It was always hard to tell. He was a master at hidden thoughts, hidden feelings. His face was a blank, pale canvas. She wanted to scream. She knew he must be going internally crazy wanting to know what he had done. The memories would flood back sooner or later and she knew. She would have a lot to answer for. Buffy wasn't even sure what had come over her in those wild moments with Angelus. When she closed her eyes she was back in that bathtub, the hot water slapping over her thighs as she gripped him with her insides, owned his flesh, felt him own hers. It was crazy, certifiably. She knew it and she was scared what Angel would say when he remembered. Where do you think they went? His voice startled her and Buffy let the words rest in the still evening for a moment. I don't know, she finally answered, not looking at him. I didn't really chat it up much with them. Her attempt to lighten the mood failed miserably. He absently crossed the street and headed towards the main square in Islington. Maybe a bar, he said quietly, his eyes studying the stars. Or somewhere where you can

see the sky. Darla likes a view. For some reason those words cut deep, and Buffy reacted sharply. You know we're gonna have to stake them both. You do get that, right? I get it, he replied without any inflection in his tone. Frustrated, she grabbed his arm, her fingers tanned and golden against the blackness of his coat. Angelyou're scaring me. Cut out with the one wordiness please? I didn't mean to scare you, he said, ignoring her insistent fingers clawing at his sleeve. This is just a lot to take in. Once I get the memories back everything will be clearer. He sounded as if he was dreading this. I didn't hurt anyone in Sunnydale did I? You didn't come to Sunnydale, she returned, and they resumed walking, their hands brushing occasionally, the slight shock of their skin touching making Buffy's flesh burn. I think you took off straight away for good old London. Cordy came and gave me the good news and I headed over here. That's about the it. Hmmm he murmured, and his dark eyes scanned the streets pensively. How was Cordy? Same old, Buffy said brightly. Just glad she didn't have to stake you I guess. I can imagine, he said bitterly, and she made a sound in her throat, finally losing her temper with him. Look, Angel, I know this is traumatic time for you, but please, don't be cryptic guy! she snapped, and his head turned to look down at her. Just be happy you didn't kill any of your nearest and dearest this time, or my nearest and dearest, might I add. As soon as the words left her tongue she wanted to call them back, wishing there was some button that she could push to erase a second from time. But it was done. The words were there, hanging between them, a presence in themselves. He laughed without humour and stopped walking, running his hands through his hair. Why don't you make this all about you? he said angrily, his eyes flashing fire at her. Act like the victim. The brat. Go ahead. Nice to know how you think of me, she replied blankly. Her face hurt, but she didn't want to relax her skin. She was afraid she might cry. That was something she could never do. Nice to know what you think of me, he shot back, jamming his hands in the pockets of his duster and staring out that the Thames River pensively. She shrugged and sighed. I don't think of you. Now can we please get on with this so I can go home? This really wasn't on my list of ways to spend a weekend you know. Oh I'm sorry, he answered, sounding anything but. Did I interrupt a weekend with Riley? She flinched and gazed up at him. Riley's not in the picture anymore. Can we please go? Starting to walk without waiting for him, Buffy concentrated on not weeping. Her eyes were burning with wetness, the orbs longing to rid her of the pain clamouring inside her head, but she resisted. I'm sorry about Riley. His tone was weary, and confused but for once she didn't long to throw herself in his arms and soothe his invisible scrapes. Where had he been when she was screaming for him? He hadn't been the one to smooth lotion over her scars for a long time. Where had he been when that vampire had almost eaten her for breakfast? Where had he been when Faith returned, stealing her body and sleeping with her boyfriend? Buffy pressed her hand to her forehead, ignoring him. She wanted to be forgiving, understanding, kind and sweet and nice and all that stuff. But she couldn't. Not now. Not with him. Whatever, she responded. It was a while ago. Let's check this cemetery. She could sense his eyes boring into her back as she stalked through the partially opened gates into the mess of grass and gravestones. A stone angel loomed gently over her, her eyes two blank grey slates. Buffy envied her. When you were stone you didn't feel pain. There was peace. Buffywe need to talk. Oh great. The talk. She inwardly groaned and spun around to face him. About what? Haven't we said it all? Many, many times? I just want to get the dusting done and then go home. Don't. Don't what? she asked furiously, hating the look in his eyes. He was hurting, and she was the cause, but she couldn't care. She didn't want to care. Don't make this hard? I can't help it, it's in my nature. I like it rough,

she smiled nastily, and he caught her arm with his strong fingers. What happened with Angelus? Nothing, a big fat nothing, she lied uneasily, and shifted slightly, feeling the soreness between her legs. Besides, you'll remember soon won't you? I basically just cursed you again. Oh, and I left out the happiness clause. What? he inquired blankly. No more happiness clause. Your. Soul. Is. Bound, she emphasised and turned again, her eyes smarting with tears. Stupid tears, she thought. Tears of regret. Tears for what might have been. Tears because now he could make love to her and he probably didn't want to. Suddenly she was distracted by sounds coming from her left. Creeping slowly past some gravestones, she saw what they were looking for. Darla and Drusilla, lying on the grass, thankfully not undressed, simply kissing, their mouths stained with blood. As Buffy realized it was probably from a recent kill, she looked around, but could find no body. Motioning to Angel, she took out her stake and stalked lightly towards them. Hello girls, she greeted, and arched a brow. Darla sighed wearily. Angelus get tired of you? No, but he got a little tired of you, Angel said coldly, coming out from the shadows like an avenging demon, his face a mask of fury. Tell me, Darla, what did you really hope to gain by making me lose that pesky soul? I think I told you once already that you never made me happy he taunted and she flushed. Maybe I wanted you to remember our past! she spat, standing up. I mean, seriously, did one hundred and fifty years mean nothing to you? You were with this cheerleader for what, two measly years and you think you're in love? I would have given up everything for you, Angelus. And you pick her Darla trailed off, her thin body shaking with malevolent anger. I didn't pick her, Angel returned, not even noticing Buffy wince. There was never a choice between the two of you. I told you I would help you get through your illness Darla. I wanted to help you. What a drag, she sniffed, flipping back her head of platinum blonde locks. I wanted blood. I wanted excitement. I wanted a life, Angelus. You wanted to brood. You wanted to be unhappy. So I tried to do what you needed. You think that's what I needed? he shook his head tiredly, gazing at his Sire. I never needed that. I gave you blood, she said imploringly. I gave you life, Angelus. You gave me death, he replied, and walked towards her, his duster flying around him like a black cloud. And now I'm going to give you what I should have given you a long time ago. She appeared transfixed by his eyes, reaching up to touch his face. What? She never saw it coming. He whipped out the stake and shoved it through her heart with all the force in his body. Your goodnight kiss. Darla was still for a moment, staring up at him. Goodbye, she whispered as she slowly crumbled into dust at his feet. Angel watched as the wind picked up the particles, blowing them in his face, over the gravestones, into the endless night. Drusilla, who had been silent, stood up fearfully. Angel beast, she said accusingly. You smell like despair. Wearily, he stared at his childe, watching as she murmured something to herself, her pale skin wraith-like in the moonlight. Go Drusilla. Just get out of here, he said quietly, but firmly and she nodded to him. Where did Grand-Mum go? Suddenly a tear slipped out of his eye. I don't know, Dru. Just go. Find Spike. But don't come to LA again. She nodded, her dark hair swirling over her shoulders. I'll go she cackled softly, walking into the shadows, and out of the cemetery. Angel stood where he was for a long time, and Buffy studied the ground at her feet. She didn't know what to say. Parts of her wanted to claw his eyes out, which she knew was irrational. She loathed the jealousy she felt over Darla, but couldn't help it. They had a history. It teemed between them, and she was no match for it. Even now that she was dust. Darla's palpable presence lingered in the air.

Parts of Buffy wanted to embrace him close to her bruised heart and let him envelop her like he always had. Let the scent of him, rain and roses and sadness, wash over her and drown her in its endless tide. He was going to drown her anyway, she realized. It was like an undertow in the ocean, this love, this unshakable yearning deep down in her aching bones, for him. It couldn't be quenched or stopped or fought against. It simply was. It existed inside her and she was powerless against it. He always pulled her under, and sometimes she thought about what it would be like to let the water close over her head. To breathe him in, and to hell with the consequences. He was Angel. Her nemesis. Her lover. He was simply a part of her now. Buffy sighed and gazed at his silent form, wondering what to say. Do you want to be alone? she asked him softly, and he quivered with shock. Maybe he had forgotten she was there, she wasn't sure. But he turned and came towards her, his eyes wounded and wide with confusion. I remember, he answered, and she jerked in surprise, then horror. Oh? How could you he trailed off, obviously trying to assemble his garbled thoughts and broken memories that were pouring into his brain. I meanwith him? How could you do that? Simple, she said quietly. I had to get you back. So I did it. No he cried, knowing that she was lying. You liked it. I remember. You wanted him. I wanted you. Everything inside him revolted in what she was saying. That wasn't me. It was a part of you, she reminded him softly, and reached up to caress his creamy cheek. Angelus lives inside you. And yes, I wanted him. But it was to get you back, Angel. Don't you get that? All I had was my body. I had to use it. Oh god he moaned. You should've staked me. He could have killed youhe could'vehe was drinking you Yes, she agreed, and her fingers went, unbidden, to her neck to touch the holes. But I stopped him in time. I stopped you. It's not a big deal. Not a big deal? he shouted, literally trembling with rage. Not a big deal? By God, Buffy, you could have died! You could have died! He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. Don't you get that? Don't you fucking get that? You can't do that anymoreput your life on the lineto save meoh my godBuffy he groaned, and suddenly dropped to his knees, pressing his face into her stomach and wrapping his arms around her waist as he sobbed against her. Dj vu shocked her into stillness, remembering a time long ago when they had been locked in an embrace just like this one now. She stood there with him for hours, until she could see that dawn was coming, and then helped him rise so they could walk back to the hotel. He fell onto the bed in a deep slumber, and Buffy sat nearby, watching him. They would have time to talk later. Right now, her love needed to rest.

As she leaned over him, she touched his face gently. Angelwake up she murmured. His eyes opened, glazed and sleepy, and they locked on her wonderingly. Buffy he muttered, and tears filled his eyes. She was startled, and realized he was still half asleep, and not quite aware of what was going on. With one hand, he curved it around her back and pulled her down, his lips touching hers. She gasped with the sensation, tears appearing in her own eyes. It hurt to kiss him. Her flesh was burning with the ache of being close. God I love you he mumbled, kissing her gently, then deeper, his lips ravishing hers with savage hunger. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you I love you too she sobbed softly, as he tore off her shirt, caressing her breasts with shaky fingers, her nipples poking into his hands angrily, swollen like tips of fire. Oh please As they kissed, and touched, their skin meeting in an explosive sensation, both panted with need, clawing at each other in mindless passion. Angel bent his head to close his mouth over her nipples, sucking and tugging at them, his lips cool around her hot flesh. Buffy ran her fingers desperately down his chest and back, smoothing

the skin with fingers that had been denied the feel of it for so long. She moaned into his neck, kissing him feverishly, needing him as close as he could get to her. BuffyBuffy he groaned almost like a litany as they clung to each other, her legs wrapped around his back, her hips beckoning him to fill her, grinding against him. I love.love you he choked out as he slammed inside her, his flesh making her whole. Buffy cried out, a strangled sound as he thrust into her over and over, deeper and harder each time, kissing her with trembling lips and moaning against her mouth. This was so different than Angelus, and now she knew why. This was Angel. Angel kissing her. Angel. Angel she cried out as he rammed inside her, his hands curving over her face reverently, his thumbs brushing against her cheekbones, tunnelling into her mane of hair with tenderness. Their eyes locked, and as green melted into brown, Buffy felt her insides explode around him, contracting and releasing, until the flood of him filled her full. The weight of him on top of her was a welcome relief after all the years of emptiness, and she smoothed his back, kissing his shoulders. He tasted of salt and sweat and rain. Why did he always taste like rain? He rolled off her, but took her with him, so she was sprawled across his chest, her hair covering his flesh. He lifted a lock to his nose and inhaled, his eyes tortured. I'm sorry, Buffy, he murmured, and she gazed up at him, surprised. For what? I didn't meanfor this to happen She sighed and refused to get angry. Well, it did. So deal, please. He looked startled and then half smiled, touching her cheek. Why are you always so flippant? Why are you always so analytical? she shot back, and rested her chin on his chest, her eyes meeting his. Broodiness solves nothing. I know, he admitted, soothing the flesh of her back with his cool fingers. I'm still sorry. I shouldn't have done thatwe didn't even have a chance to talk about what happened. Why talk when we can now do this? she joked, the feel of his powerful thighs under her stomach enough to make her skin burn with desire once more. She wriggled against him playfully, but he caught her around the waist, stopping her movements with firm fingers. What? she whined and he laughed softly. We do need to talk. At least about what happened between youand Angelus. We fought, we had sex and then I cursed you good, she replied. End of story. He sighed and tilted her chin up so he could look her full in the face. Don't do that. It wasn't the little deal you make it out to be. Please, BuffyI don't want you doing that ever again. If I lose my soul again for whatever reasonjust stake me. Oh my God she scowled. Do you have any idea what you're asking? What do you mean? he inquired, his expression one of confusion. You're asking me to just kill youwithout even trying to curse you againsorry, buster but that's not in the cards. Buffy he protested, but she held up her hands, warding off his objections. No, listen to me. I can't kill you again tears filled her green eyes, as she pondered that horrible thought. And I won't. Don't be all noble, with your 'just stake me' little speech. Don't you get that I would do anything *anything* to save you? I don't care what it isI can't let you die Angel stared at her with despair etching his features. Don't give up your life for me, Buffy. That's the last thing I want. Would you give up your life for me? she asked tightly. Yes, he answered without hesitation. In a second. In a mille-second. Okay then, she said, as if that settled it. So, kiss me please.

He laughed tensely, trying to ignore the sweet lips she was pursing exaggeratingly at him. That'sthat doesn't mean that you can just lay down your life for me again, Buffy. Just because I would Why not? she asked sternly. It's the same thing. No, it isn't. My lifemeans nothing compared to yours. Closing her eyes, she fought for control. How can you say that? Really, how can you think so little of yourself? She stopped him with her fingers before he could even open his mouth. Wait, I know you probably have a ready answer for that. Listen to me, I don't care what you say, nothing is going to convince me to just watch you die. Nothing. I she paused, her throat heavy with tears. I love you. I always haveand I won't watch you die. Not ever. Not if there's something I can do to help. Your lifeit means everything to me, Angel. Don't you get that? I get it he replied, his eyes hollow and haunted. But I don't understand itand I won'tI won't let you risk yourself for me like you did when you were with Angelus. He could have killed you he choked out. He would have killed youhe wanted toI remember But he didn't, she reminded him gently, caressing his cheek. He didn't, and I'm here and we're together now. Why did youhave sex with him? Buffy had known that question was coming. She didn't want to answer it, but knew, for once, she had to be honest. I wanted to she whispered, and he gasped quietly, his eyes wide with confusion and revulsion. Try and understand, she pleaded. It was likeI don't even know. At first it was just about the spellbut you don't get it. It was youand yet it wasn't. I needed to be close to youI didn't care how. I know it sounds sickbut whatever I could get, I would. Soyouwanted him? he questioned, and she cocked her head to the side, trying to figure out how to put her feelings into words. Parts of me did. She hesitated and then plunged on. It was the part of me that craves the darkness. The Slayer partthat wanted something wildall these years with Rileyhe never understood the darkness, the baggage that comes with being the Chosen Gal. And most of me just wanted to be close to youto make love to youeven if it wasn't really you. I don't know, Angel, I just know that I needed it. I wanted it. But I want you more. Angelushe feeds something inside me that I don't even fully understand. I love all of youthat's what I'm trying to say. Your demon side, your human side, every side. I just love you. He gazed into her eyes for long moments, obviously trying to come to terms with what she had just uttered, his face blank as he considered her. His fingers curved over her cheeks, and her ears, caressed her forehead, and hair, ran his fingers through the thick strands, tested the weight of them, and ran down to her neck, running lightly over the scar at the base. I love you, he finally murmured, bringing her close to kiss her, his mouth trembling with need. I've always loved you. I know, she whispered. I always loved you to As they kissed, Buffy knew it was the end of something. It was the end of their innocence. Their innocent belief that they could stay away from each other. She knew now, and so did he, that that was impossible. She was glad to be innocent no longer, and as he kissed her neck, looked out the window, seeing a flock of birds rising into the air, their wings beating the air with fervour, saluting the end of the day, as the moon rose. It might be the end of something, but it was the beginning of something even better. Lowering her head to kiss the lips of the man she loved, she felt for a moment like one of the birds, flying higher and higher, until she touched the heavens. end