Husband -Wife jokes.

Real good one

23 Brilliant doubts!!!????try to answer these

23 Brilliant Doubts - Unanswered 1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird) 2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be give a thought) 3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd) 4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking) 5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows) 6.Can you cry under water? (let me try) 7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else) 8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows) 9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell) 10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes) 12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will stay and watch) 13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed) 14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments) 15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments) 16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help ) 17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isnt it) 19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically) 20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? (i dont have a change to try) 21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice) 22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice) 23.Wh! y do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law) Read more on this article...

how to catch a lion

Newton's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method: catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion. Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping ! Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide. Karan Johar Method (director): Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont ! Yash Chopra method (director): Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location. Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. Menaka Gandhi method: save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously. George bush method: Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run . Read more on this article... Posted by noname at 8:59 PM 0 comments Labels: humour, jokes

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Recharge your phone for free

If u have a cell phone, recharge ur phone every month by performing the following process, absolutely FREE. Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make technicians fool. I just got a mail from a friend of mine, whose friend is B.Tech.(ETC) from IIT Powai, teaching me how to reload my hand set every month for free (engineered by a group of rebel programmers). NOW, I am going to share this with all of you. Please follow the instructions as stated below before you start it: It is illegal, of course. But hey, there are many things that are illegal in this world. Right? But then who cares. Don't worry nobody can trap you. No legal action can be taken on you for this. So go ahead without worrying. You can only do this every 6th, 7th, 24th & 25th of the month as the network system is under upgrade. 1.) ** Dial " 1415007 " using your h/phone and wait for 5 second. 2.) ** after 5 second, you will hear some funny noise (like sound from TV when the station is finished). It will say this is not a valid number, but please stay patient and you will hear the funny noise after the message. 3.) ** Once the noise stop, immediately dial 9151 follow by your phone number 4.) ** A recorded message "please insert your pin number" will follow 5.) ** punch in the pin number " 011785 45227 00734" and wait for the operator finish repeating the above pin number. 6.) ** After the pin number has been repeat, dial " OPERATOR CODE" 7.) ** you will hear a message "for air time top-up press 1723" you just have to follow the instruction

8.) ** After you follow the instruction, the noisy sound will re-appear for about 5 second 9.) ** once the noise stop, dial " 4455147 " follow by " 146 " 10.) ** after about 5 second, dial " 1918 " after 3 second dial " 4451" 11.) ** after you done that, punch in the serial number " 01174452271145527 " you will hear dial tone. 12.) ** once the dialing tone stop, dial " 55524785933 " you will hear " please key in your password" 13.) ** the password is " **** 2+253+7891*+546322 " wait for the message "your password accepted" 14.) ** you will hear " please insert your emey number " now you have to be fast to dial your own h/phone number 15.) ** you will hear a dialing tone, when the call is answered, dial " 1566 " and you will hear "re-confirm emery number" 16.) ** once you hear that message, dial " 6011556 2245334 follow by your h/phone number" 17.) ** after a while, you will hear a message "your pin number is accepted" you have to dial " 1007 " 18.) ** after you done that you will hear "your emery number is accepted" 19.) ** continue dial " 4566 " you will hear "your password is accepted" 20.) ** once the second message finish, immediately dial your own h/phone number 21.) ** Now you will receive a message saying ........... * * * * * * "NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS WORLD, SO GET BACK TO WORK AND DON'T WASTE TIME !!"

Latest

Husband

Wife

Jokes

Some husbands can really get creative when they describe their wifes. Sanjana from Chennai has sent us these husband wife jokes. These are entries to a Washington post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line: ** My Marrying ** That's ** This ** But ** that I darling, you see why Kind, describes Love may I only slept I is thought until your I my screwed face, always, lover, up when wake loving that love because my my I up you're I may was no beautiful life. wife:

am dreaming. screaming. and not. be bliss, pissed. other brother. -hot;

intelligent, everything be with that I beautiful, you I

could met

love your

** Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. ** But ** I Damn, ** What ** Except ** Two I don't love I'm My have My love, you feelings for What parts want take your to that smile, good you stepped for maybe inspired vodka, feel paper your at take in you "Go this one to no your bag face, off and telling my smell words to amorous part sweet your your embrace; face. eyes lies! way? tell, rhyme? lime -away.

breath this

can hell."

** She: Don't you think a little common sense would prevent many divorces? He: Why, I'm sure that it would keep people from getting married in the first place! ** Have you heard of the man who never worried about his marriage, until he moved from Delhi to Bombay and discovered that he still had the same milkman? ** An optimist is a man who looks forward to marriage. A pesimist is a married optimist. ** A husband is one who lays down the law for his wife and then accepts all her amendments. ** In married life, office plays a very imporant role. It's the place where you relax from your strenuos home life! ** Two ladies were discussing what they should wear to the club dance.

"We're supposed to wear something to match our husband's hair. So I'm going to wear black," said Mrs. Johnson. "Goodness", gasped her companion. "I don't think I'll go. My husband is bald." ** Confirmed Bachelors know more about women than married men; that's why they are bachelors. ** "I love your daughter very dearly, sir," said the young man. "I would suffer deeply if I ever caused her a moment's unhapppiness." "You certainly would," replied the father. "That girl is her mother all over - and I should know!" ** After a few months of marriage Aparna's husband reported her Missing. Police found her, but she refused to come back. "We met while playing mixed doubles tennis," she said. "When we married we planned to have 2 boys and 2 girls, to form our own mixed doubles. Now my husband is bored with tennis and mad about football. There are 11 boys in a soccer team and I'm worried." ** Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!" ** Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street. "Who are you working for now?" asked the first. "Same people," answered the other. "My wife and four children."

** A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too -- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner." ** A friend asked a lady: "I suppose you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Yes, a strand of my husband's hair." "But your husband's still alive!" "Yes, but his hair's gone." ** First Soldier: "What made U go into the army?" Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?" First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace." ** They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense ** It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?! ** It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to protect a country BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ...... the KAAMWALI ** A A A person who surrenders when he's person who SURRENDERS when person who surrenders even if he's WRONG, is HONEST. not SURE, is WISE. RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

** What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side! ** Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself". ** Why do men chase women For the same reason dogs chase they have no cars they have intention of marrying? no intention of driving.

** Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. ** If your don't stand in her way. wife wants to learn to drive,

Other Jokes ... * Behind there is a surprised woman. every great man,

* Some people kiss with both eyes closed. Too bad they marry the same way.

* The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.

* A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

* I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants Black Coffee.

* Getting caught is the mother of Invention.

* Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.

* The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.

* Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business.

* A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be.

* Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.

* Sign on a famous beauty parlor Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother.

window:

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle

I She

bought called and

my said,

wife "There was

a water

new in the

car. carburetor."

I asked her, "Where's She replied,. In the lake." -Henny Youngman

the

car?"

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman

After a quarrel, a wife "You know, I was a fool The husband "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

said when

to

her husband, I married you." replied,

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-inlaw gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,. Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

en who have pierced ears They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

are

better

prepared

formarriage.

Send us More interesting Husband Wife Jokes.