I WANT TO SUFFER SO I CAN BLAME YOU By John Williams

Look around you. Do you not find that most people take a deep sense of SATISFACTION in being able to BLAME others or Life itself for their own unhappiness? Unconsciously, they are saying, I want to SUFFER, so I CAN blame you! It feels GOOD to work up a good righteous INDIGNATION and let it just rip! So, we DO it. But, WHY? It seems stupid. Shouldnt we be looking for excuses to be HAPPY? The reason comes down to an UNCONSCIOUS MOTIVE: We feel GUILTY and yet we REPRESS this guilt and PROJECT IT. This is a RACIAL, EXISTENTIAL guilt, and is the inheritance of all who pass through the human phase of living. It is a TOOL which Life USES to unfold CONSCIOUSNESS at this dimension within Itself which we call human consciousness. Here is how it works: As individualized creators, WE LITERALLY EMBODY OUR VIEW OF LIFE in the forms we use to experience it. The implications of this are profound. Our current bodies are vulnerable, weak and small. They thus EMBODY our own belief that we are something small and apart from Nature. This is a DIRECT consequence of the following natural law: UNCONSCIOUS GUILT CREATES PROJECTED BLAME. When guilt is unconscious, it is never seen directly, or it would be conscious. Instead, it is projected outwards and appears outside of ourselves, but is reversed, like looking at our face in a mirror (which becomes a projected image seen out there, as something OTHER than us (as the body LOOKING in that mirror, because IT is over there, and right and left are REVERSED.) The reversal with GUILT becomes BLAME: If YOU feel unconsciously guilty for doing something bad, you see others as guilty of doing something bad to YOU. In our current evolutionary phase, as individualized God sparks, it is NECESSARY for us to harbour GUILT due to our SEPARATING, in consciousness, from ONENESS, from Life (which we MUST do to INDIVIDUALIZE, and enter the human condition, but which bothers us profoundly on an unconscious level.) We thus create BODIES which PROVE to us that we

HAVE separated. They are SEPARATE from the surrounding environment, and we are IN them, looking OUT at what we have left behind: EVERYTHING ELSE. Then, we PROJECT the guilt arising from this onto LIFE, making IT threatening and unkind, a HOSTILE environment which THREATENS us (as these frail BODIES.) Adam and Eves guilt over eating of the fruit of knowledge (of separate existence, which is NECESSARY for the development of subject-object CONSCIOUSNESS) and expulsion from the Garden, (the realm of ONENESS) is a good representation of this, with God becoming the wrathful avenging Deity who kicks them out and punishes them. Now come on. What kind of a God worth his salt would DO that? REALLY! But thats what WE unconsciously think: WE are SINNERS! Original SIN! Repent and be saved! Garbage! God, by definition, is LOVE and LOVE does NOT hold a grudge and blame ignorant children, like us which HE, by the way, MADE! The whole sin and guilt nonsense is MANS interpretation of God, and is in about the same category as the Greek Gods who womanize, are jealous and swallow their children! (a PREVIOUS, pre-Christian human projection.) FORM IS LIMITATION. As we evolve, we eventually drop limiting forms and the suffering that goes along with them, by RE-UNITING IN CONSCIOUSNESS, with the people and the life around us. The dropping of limitation, (which means dropping SUFFERING) means also that WE DROP PROJECTING BLAME ONTO LIFE FOR OUR OWN SEPARATION. We no longer say to life, showing it our suffering, weak bodies, See what you have DONE to me! WE REMOVE THE EXCUSE FOR BLAME BY BEING HEALED AND HAPPY, and thus re-enter the Garden condition of oneness, but THIS time, CONSCIOUSLY, and INDIVIDUALLY. This is the REAL fruit of the Garden experience: KNOWLEDGE CONSCIOUS knowledge, of BEING, of Life itself, and of what Love really IS, and we attain it as we let go of guilt and blame. We, then, in effect, are able to say to Life: YOU HAVE ONLY AND ALWAYS ACTED IN MY BEST INTEREST and can then be totally GRATEFUL for everything that has ever happened to us. All of Life really, from an atom to a galaxy, ACTS ONLY AND ALWAYS IN ITS BEST INTEREST, exhibiting the instinct of selfpreservation and the drive for growth and expansion (what we would call self- love and self-betterment), which is why WE (as PART of this Life) have this drive within US. But we FORGET this, in our SEPARATION from life, and our unconscious reverse

PROJECTION upon it of DIFFERENT qualities (hostile, uncaring, dangerous, threatening.) We even think it is ATTACKING US! How COULD it? Oh, you say Because I did something WRONG, so I DESERVE it? Well, would YOU slam your finger in a drawer just because IT did something wrong (like dialing the wrong number?) Your finger to YOU, is like YOU to LIFE: an EXTENSION, not something APART, that can be attacked without SELF- harm, and there is NO instinct of SELFHARM in Life; only SELF PRESERVATION, self love, for the one and only self there IS: LIFE. Understanding this, also means we can FORGIVE PEOPLE, they being only AGENTS of Life, who have obviously then, only acted in our best interests, because they are simply EXTENSIONS of Life. Their free will, MISUSED, may make them TRY to hurt us, but the Law of Life is LOVE for ALL of its parts, and thus try as they will, they cannot override this karmic law which turns ANYTHING they do into something that IS in our best interest (but may not seem in the best interest of our EGO, with its very LIMITED objectives.) For someone to harm you, you must have the KARMA to BE harmed in the first place, and karma can VISIT itself upon you ONLY when it can simultaneously offer to HELP YOU GROW, (not SQUASH you like a finger in a drawer.) So, in effect, you can NEVER be harmed REALLY.. not the REAL part of you only your FORM and even THAT, if harmed, is harmed to allow for a future IMPROVED form.. a form which will allow more CONSCIOUSNESS (but maybe not more VANITY) to develop. THIS is how we approach forgiveness: By totally HEALING ourselves from WITHIN ourselves, and BEING the happiness, the JOY that LIFE is (which means we HAVE re-united with it, and no longer NEED projected blame. Towards Life or other people, for making us unhappy. Make sense?

TO SEE LIFE AS ALWAYS ACTING IN OUR BEST INTERESTS AND PEOPLE AS DOING THE SAME....
Are you ready for THIS? Ready to STOP suffering through GIVING UP the blame game (because that is the ONLY way to

GET AT the unconscious GUILT that keeps it going:) Start with FORGIVENESS and end with GRATITUDE, and you TRANSMUTE the negative karmic energy built up over lifetimes of unconscious guilt and projection. Try making this your ROOT ASSUMPTION about ANYTHING that happens to you or ANYONE who offends you, as you go through your day. When you notice a NEGATIVE REACTION to something or someone, pause and begin to THINK YOURSELF, STEP-BY-STEP, into THIS perspective on the situation or person which caused the negativity. Dont give up until your thoughts about the PARTICULAR situation or person AGREE WITH AND MATCH this root assumption. Dont allow a DISCORD between your thoughts on this particular issue and your OVERALL root assumption about Life to linger. Like a sheep dog, nip at your thoughts and GUIDE them TURN them, in the direction of THANK YOU!!!! AND DONT GIVE UP until they MATCH. Worth a try? What do you have to lose but your own suffering and the deliciously addictive opportunity to say

I WANT TO SUFFER SO I CAN BLAME YOU!