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Fan Mail by Aubrey Leatherwood
Fan Mail By Aubrey Leatherwood
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Fan Mail Copyright 2011 Aubrey Leatherwood ISBN: 978-1-60088-652-2 Cover Artist: PJ Edwards Editor: Leanne Salter All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews. Cobblestone Press, LLC www.cobblestone-press.com
Dedication
Fan Mail is dedicated to my fans I love you guys.
Prologue
A sea of shouting people, moving together like a many-headed serpent, surrounded the car. Alicia covered her mouth with a hand as tears burned her eyes and cheeks, and her nose ran. I cant even see the entrance to the underground parking. Exasperation and a little fear tinged her stepmothers voice as she gripped the steering wheel. How on earth am I going to do this? For Gods sake, Ogden, her fathers deep voice rumbled next to her as he spoke into his cell phone. Get the police out here. Now! Alicia couldnt hear what was said on the other end, but her father flipped his phone closed with a harsh snap. His heavy arm around her shoulders weighed on her like an albatross. Voices outside of the car ran together into a sibilant threat marked with the vicious thumps of fists against the tempered windows. Pam, baby, her father said finally. When we get out, you lock the doors and stay in the car, no matter what. Wait right here for either me or Ogden to come back for you. Five minutes later, Ogden James, a stocky, congenial security guard at her building, opened the door from the outside on her fathers count. The wave of bodies threw it open wide, and Alicia wondered if it might snap off its hinges. More of the towers security team pressed forward, creating a small pocket of space for them. Her father got out first, and then he covered Alicias head with his jacket and pulled her out.
Concrete and mens shoes were all she could see as strong hands led her from both sides. She needed those hands, because she hadnt eaten in days and felt as if her muscles had atrophied. She couldnt stop shaking, and she couldnt stop the play of the days headlines through her mind. Her father didnt follow her inside, despite Alicias pleading. He turned at the door, faced the hoard of reporters, photographers, and maddened fans. For a moment they paused, but then suddenly, the many-headed serpent struck. Blair! Blair! Blair! Will you press charges? Does Tommy Touhy think hes above the law? Did you threaten to kill Tommy Touhy? Did you know that your daughter was being assaulted? Was your daughter sexually assaulted? Is the rumor true that Playboy has offered fifty million dollars for an Alicia Langerud exclusive? Did Touhy take your daughters virginity? What were your daughter and her boyfriend quarreling about? Did you know that Anna Sui has been inundated with orders for that exact gold dress? Alicia has a beautiful heart; do you think Tommy deserves it? Do you think she deserves it? Was Americas sweetheart raped? ***** When Blair finally stepped into the luxury suite hed helped his daughter choose years before when she moved out on her own, he was happy to see that she sat calmly, talking softly with his wife. She had been silent for the past twenty-four hours. He raised an eyebrow at his wife, who gave a slight shake of her head, cautioning him against pressing his daughter for answers. After nearly two hours standing in front of the paparazzi, taking them all on for his daughter, he did not want to put her through what hed just experienced. But he had to know. Alicia. Pams eyes saddened before she slid away from her stepdaughter,
allowing Blair the lead. Giant, sea-blue eyes looked up at him, and in them he saw more despair than he could handle. You have to explain.
Chapter One
Six months later. Outside, the world froze. Dragging a roller bag behind her, Alicia Langerud stepped into the building, noting that warm air tried its best to greet her, to lure her into a sense of safety and relief. But she didnt stop shivering. Not until she cleared the lobby, saying a quick hello to the staff at the desk. Not until she got on the elevator after waiting until she could take one alone, even with the odd stares. Not until she rushed out of the elevator when the doors opened for fear of being trapped in the box if someone else rushed on. Not until she soundlessly slipped into the loft did the warmth overcome her, beating at her body until she was tired of fighting and willing to breathe again. She turned the knob of the door before closing it ever so carefully and gave thanks that it made no sound. With a gentle touch, she engaged the lock and reset the alarm. One more furtive glance out of the peephole assured her that the hallway remained empty. She allowed herself two moments to breathe, another for her muscles to relax. After slipping off the glittery black flats, she rolled her feet over the cool surface of the polished travertine floors. Wrapping her keys in her palm to keep them still and silent, she set them delicately in her handbag. She checked her watch. It was a little after eleven, but that didnt mean
anything. Good Lord, they kept strange hours. Without making the smallest of noises, she made her way barefoot through the living room to the den. After dropping her bag and coat off, she turned on the television, keeping it very quiet. In the kitchen, she only switched on the light above the stove. It was dim and barely visible outside the room. Already a parcel of jasmine tea sat out on the counter with agave nectar and cream that was still cool to the touch. Taking great care, she rinsed the teakettle then put it on the burner. She leaned against the counter with her arms wrapped around her body, staring at the towel hanging through the handle of the refrigerator. She tried to keep her mind blessedly blank, devoid of this maddening mix of panic and fear and melancholy, at least until the water was hot enough to steam, but not hot enough to make the kettle whistle. After making tea, she went back to the den with her mug. The oversized, brown suede sofa welcomed her to curl up with a coverlet. After a sip and sigh, she flipped through channels, trying her best to avoid cop shows, fashion shows, entertainment shows, horror movies, and shows about serial killers. This left her to watch a comedrama about two couples who left the corporate world to run a bed and breakfast in New England. The show was all right but not particularly engaging. Just like Alicia wanted it. After only fifteen minutes, she found herself yawning and setting her mug down. Another fifteen and she snuggled deep into the cushions of the sofa, barely able to keep her eyes open. Just before she fell asleep, she smiled wide. She smiled because she knew she was going to sleep. She knew she was going to sleep because, finally, she was safe. ***** Her body felt tight, crushed in a viselike grip, or rather forced by electricity or adrenaline into painful rigor. And then the blows started. Bone-cracking punches to her chest over and over again until she realized she was being stabbed. A knife the length of her forearm, as wide as her
fist, with a deathly sharp blade, digging, digging until it unearthed her heart. Alicia screamed, jumping so high she ended up sitting on the back of the sofa, her feet in the seat and her hands out defensively before her. Then when she got a good look at the tall, broad-shouldered man in front of her, she clutched at her heart, its beat painfully trying to normalize, and gasped, Holy Hell! I didnt mean to scare you, sweetheart. Her father came forward and took the hand over her heart. He pulled her from the sofa into his arms. That sense of safety came back, and Alicia stifled a sob. She had to get a hold of herself. Casting a furtive glance at the TV, she was cosmically thankful for the handy excuse. Im sorry, Daddy. You know how I am with scary movies. Her father looked at the screen and shook his head. Why were you watching one in the dark by yourself? Alicia shrugged. Im almost twenty-seven. I figured I could handle it. No need to tell him that shed fallen asleep watching something different and completely non-threatening. Well, Im sorry, sweetheart. I didnt mean to startle you. Blair Langerud pulled her forward again and squeezed her hard. He kissed her on the forehead then padded barefoot toward the kitchen. Alicia sent up a silent thank you that at least hed bothered to put on some pants. I came down to get me and Pam some tea, he called. I caught the light from the TV and figured you were in there. What time is it? she mumbled as she absently rubbed her eyes. Dont rub your eyes so hard. You know better. Youll have even darker circles than youre bound for in the morning if you break those tiny capillaries under the fragile sk He stopped himself. Old habits, he explained. Its after two. He disappeared behind a corner, easily navigating his home in the dark. Alicia reached over and turned on a lamp before following her father into the kitchen.
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Why are you even up? I was quiet. She ran her fingers through her tangled mass of hair. She had put it in a bun earlier but had never been able to sleep with it bound and had probably dismantled it in her sleep. She yawned, but her mouth snapped shut when she realized her brawny, unflappable father wasblushing. Gross, Dad. I dont want to know. Blair chuckled. Youre right. You dont. He put the kettle on then leaned against the counter as he studied her. Lately, hed been studying her this way a lot. Maybe it was her imagination, or more likely guilt, but she thought she saw disappointment in his eyes. But what I want to know is what brings you hereagain. Oh, ahem She cleared her throat. Iahdont know, you know. I guess I just miss it here. I miss you guys. His piercing blue eyes, beneath slashing white and blond brows, were like lasers. She felt as if he were scanning her invisible bar code and learning everything there was to know about what she wasnt saying. He opened his mouth to press her, probably to ask why his grown-ass, soon to be thirty-year-old daughter kept sneaking into his house when she thought he and his wife were sleeping. But they both turned their heads toward the soft sound of footfalls. Blair, a deep, feminine voice that sounded either sleepy or passion-filled drifted into the kitchen. Baby, forget the tea. Get a bottle of water and come back to bed. Pam, hon, Alicias here, he called back, cutting a glance at his daughter. Alicia put a hand over her eyes and shook her head, hoping that her stepmother did not appear in the kitchen naked. It was a risk she took sneaking in there at night, but it hadnt been enough to keep her away. She just felt so damn comfortable in her childhood home, and so safe when she was close to her dad. Oh hey, Alicia, Pam murmured as she made an appearance. Not naked, even if her tank top and shorts were a little skimpy for a very voluptuous woman approaching fifty. Thank God for small favors. Pamela Lane had married her father only six years before, but in
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truth, she had been the only mother Alicia ever knew, and Alicia loved her dearly. Granted, she could do with a little less knowledge of her parents sexual antics, but she couldnt fault them. They were both beautiful peopleBlair, a tall, muscular, blond and blue-eyed Norse god; Pam, a tall, curvy, long-legged Nubian queenand they couldnt seem to keep their hands off each other. Alicia appreciated their love, but damned if she actually wanted to see it all the time. Blair accepted a quick kiss from his wife when she came to his side and laid a light hand to his chest. Then they both turned to Alicia, and she felt awkward for a completely different reason. Whats wrong, darling? Pam asked softly. That woman was like the Juggernaut Psychiatrist. No one could get away from her. One couldnt resist eventually blurting out all their problems to her. It never failed. Nothing, Alicia answered too quickly, with too much light and air in her voice. Pam didnt dispute her words, but she didnt let it go either. She just stood there silently waiting, her heart open and ready to take on whatever burden Alicia would release to it. For Gods sake, she started to tear up and didnt know how to stop this nightmare from unfolding. As she stood there, she watched Pam pat her father on the hip. Reluctantly, he turned off the burner and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. He eyed his daughter but left the kitchen without his tea. Alicia could hear him heading back upstairs. You had tea earlier? Alicia nodded. Well, lets have a glass of wine, then. She leaned down to the wine rack and reached for a dark bottle before shaking her head. I keep forgetting that you dont like red. She walked over to the refrigerator and removed a large, corked bottle of Liebfraumilch. It was Alicias favorite, even if her dad called it baby wine. Pam uncorked the bottle and poured glasses for them both. She followed her stepmother back into the den and curled up on the sofa with her arms around a pillow and the chilled wine in her hand.
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Alicia, you know your father loves you. Alicia turned her head with a small, jerky movement, her eyes burning and a lump forming in her throat. And you know I love you, too. Youre one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. She nodded, still unable to look at Pam. We accepted that you were a grown woman, but we never wanted you to move out by yourself. You wanted to. And even though we worried, and we still worry, youve done fine on your own for all these years, orahmainly on your own. Alicia licked her lips that had gone so dry they stuck to her tongue. But youve been here so much lately, especially since thewell, you know. Were worried. And if you want to come back and stay here, you know we wont mind. Alicia took a long sip from her wine glass, hoping it would stabilize her as she was dangerously close to tears, again. She was always crying these days. Please tell me whats going on with you. I thought we all came back from that mess six months ago, but you havent been the same since, especially lately. She wanted to spill it all, but she couldnt. She couldnt worry them or frighten them, and she didnt want them to handle the fallout when they went publicand they would. Silent, she nodded her head and covered her face with her free hand. After a second or two, she felt the wine glass taken from her, then the pillow. Alicias eyes watered. You miss Tommy, Pam guessed. Alicia broke. Her shoulders slumped, and an ache that ranged from her back to her chest made it impossible to breath. Pam put her arms around her shoulder and pulled her close. Alicia hugged her hard and sobbed into her shoulder. Hot tears ran in rivulets from her eyes, her nose congested, and her throat went raw from emotion. No matter what happened, Pam whispered, we know he loves
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you. Thats why we ignored all the rumors and hype. Thats why your father and I stood beside you both. Nobody knows the two of you better than we do. He caught the worst of it, thats all. He loves you. Alicia cried even harder. Her body convulsed with an ugly and uncontrollable hiccup. He doesnt. He does, Pam insisted. N-no he doesnt! Alicia argued, finally finding her voice. She argued because no matter how much she wanted things to be different, Tommy didnt love her. Hed been so angry after what shed done. Hed said such hurtful things. She argued with Pam because she loved him so desperately, and shed buried the pain of it for so very long. But more importantly, she argued because if she confessed to the devastation of being abandoned by the love of her life, she would never have to tell her parents about the true horror stalking her every step and every breath.
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Chapter Two
Dad, will you give me a ride to my place? Alicia was much perkier the following morning after a good cry, good nights sleep, and a late brunch. She caught her dad before he left to meet friends for basketball at the Y. You didnt drive? She shook her head. No, Ms. Valeria dropped me off after we got back from the airport. It was late, and here was closer. Blair gave her a look that said he knew she wasnt telling the truth. Of course, she wasnt, but what choice did she have? Her father let it go, and they chatted easily all the way to her building, which wasnt that far away. When they arrived, he asked, Do you want me to walk you up? Dad, stop. Im almost thirty You are not I am, which makes me almost your age in model years. Blair scowled at her. I still think you should consider hiring someone sincesince Since Tommys not around. It went unspoken, and it stung a little. But she was resilient, and she was going to work her way through this Tommy thing somehow. She winked at her dad. And drag them around like Brig does? No thanks. I can go up by myself. I do it all the time. Hardly anybody comes around anymore. She closed the door firmly behind her and waved her
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father off. Then she raised a hand in greeting to Ogden, who manned the door, as she approached the building. When Oggie raised his eyebrows twice at her, she gave a small sigh of frustration at the sign. Then she sucked in her breath and tossed her unruly mane of hair over her shoulder. She flashed a brilliant smile in the direction of the photographer leaning against a lamppost across the street. Maybe shed seen this guy before, maybe she hadnt. She certainly didnt have the energy to engage him or to deny him the photo. Shed found long ago that if she let them have their way, they went away quicker. Absently, as she watched him raise his camera to capture her image, she wondered what shed done this week for her popularity quotient to be on the rise again. For the past six months, shed stayed away from the public eye as much as possible, which didnt necessarily mean much when she was one of the highest paid supermodels of all time. Because she made her home on the fourteenth floor, or rather the real thirteenth, Alicia sometimes liked to take the stairs. It helped her feel a bit better about her body, especially when she hadnt eaten well or been able to get into the gym as much as she liked. She hadnt taken the stairs in at least four months, though. Shed been too scared. This day was different. After months and months of nothing but dismal thoughts and depression, even after the frightening dream last night, she actually felt energized and happy again. Right or wrong, she held fast to Pamelas assurance that Tommy did love her. He hadnt just been pretending all those years because of what she looked like and their sexual chemistry. Some days she didnt want to think about him. Some days, anger ruled her because even in his absence, he continued to control so much of her life, so much of how she felt. Some days she couldnt be photographed because she hated herself. Every other day she just missed him. But today, she had it in her head that soon the complexities of this situation would be distilled and together, they would work through to the fundamental truth: Alicia and Tommy were born to love each other. She popped out the back straps on her bag and slung it over her shoulders then took the stairs two at a time. She didnt start wheezing
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until the eighth floor, which was better than shed expected since she hadnt done it in a long time. By the time she got to twelve, she walked and her breathing was labored, but she was still happy because she had decided somewhere around the eleventh floor that yes, she would call him. She would call him and she would, somehow, keep her hands as well as her obsession with pricking his temper to herself. A warm flush raced through her flesh as she let herself into the apartment. She didnt know if she could keep her hands to herself or ignore the tried and true methods of getting his attention. But didnt she have to try? When she stepped inside, however, her blood iced over, she grabbed her chest, and she fell to her knees. She wanted to scream but couldnt. If she screamed, if she drew any attention at all, everyone would know. She would never have her privacy again, and she would never be safe. Alicia wasnt safe anyway. Ever. The world thought they owned her. He thought he owned her. And hed finally done it. He had finally done what he said he would do. He had come into her home and showed her his love. At some point, he had to have pulled her furniture from the walls and removed her paintings, even her light fixtures and electrical plates, because every inch of every wall in her living room contained impossibly neat, black hand-written block letters. I HEART YOU ALICIA. Her thoughts were a jumble, her body numb. She could only reach behind her and push the door closed. No one could see inside. No one could see this. A bang at her door made her jump. Though she had no memory of retrieving it, her cell phone clattered out of her lap onto the floor. She blinked. How long had she been sitting there? Another bang and a familiar voice called, Alicia! Alicia, are you hurt? Alicia, if you dont answer, Im going to break the door down! She wanted to tell him that it was open, but she couldnt. Her mouth wouldnt work, her throat wouldnt work, her tongue seemed stuck to the roof of her mouth. But she heard the doorknob jiggle, and she
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turned to see him step inside. His key was in the knob. She had forgotten he still had one. What the h He went silent, and dread choked the air between them. He dropped to his knees beside her and turned her face so they were eye to eye. Are you okay? She blinked. He patted her cheek lightly. Alicia, baby, are you okay? He checked her over by gently running his hands over her skin. She was sure she nodded. Did you see him? She murmured something, but even she wasnt sure what it was. The man who did this, did you see him? She shook her head, and a shudder rippled through her body. Did you check through the rest of the house? Did you see if he, he Her eyes watered, and tears dotted her cheeks. She felt absurd. She had cried more in the past twenty-four hours than she had when shed gone through puberty. No. Tommy nodded then rose. He pulled his handgun from the holster under his leather jacket then slowly, carefully, made his way deeper into the apartment. Alicia watched him disappear into her kitchen. He came out again then rounded a corner and disappeared into her hallway. In ten minutes, he came back and dropped to her side, studying the walls. He ran a hand over his face and looked truly shaken. She hadnt seen him drained of color and sickened this way since his mother died. Finally, he told her, I believe he was long gone before you got home. From the looks of it, you havent been here yourself for a couple of days. You were in Borneo, right? Because the possibility that the perpetrator had still been in her apartment when she arrived had not occurred to her, the knowledge that he was gone only inspired a second bout of alarm. Her eyes widened, and she began to shake. Hes gone, baby, Tommy soothed and pulled her into his embrace. Hes gone, and Im here, and you know Ill never let anyone
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hurt you. You know Ill always keep you safe. Alicia desperately clutched him close. And he held her just as hard, his lips pressing to her brow and into her hair. In his arms, she did feel safe, and she did believe that he could always keep her safe. If he wanted to. The problem was, Tommy didnt want to. He wanted her out of his life. At least that was what hed said months ago. Alicia pushed away from him. Pale, with a smattering of freckles, green eyes, and bright red hair, he was classically Irish, impossibly handsome, violently temperamental, and Alicia would never love anyone else, even if he hated her. Okay, so maybe that was a bit childish. He didnt hate her. He wouldnt have come running to her rescue if he hated her. She swallowed thickly. I dont know what to do. What time did you get here? When you called me? She shook her head, dazed and unsure. She didnt think it had been that long, but she didnt know. Have you called 9-1-1? II dont think so, she croaked. Maybe she had. She didnt even remember calling him. Well, Im going to call, get some crime scene guys out here, have a full report done so we can catch this asshole. No! Her eyes snapped to his, silently pleading. Tommy, I dont want anyone else to know. No one. His brows furrowed, and he levered up to his feet. It sort of comforted her to see him do that. At five foot eight, he sometimes liked to stand while she sat to exert his tenuous authority. After all, Alicia was just shy of six feet. Why not? As she always did when they argued, Alicia pushed herself up to stand beside him then tilted her head down to look him in the eye. You know why not. I have had these people, these paparazzi guys, rip my life apartrip our life apartwithout any remorse. If this gets out, theyll never, never, let it go. And if my parents find out, theyll never, never let it
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go. My dad already thinks Im incapable of living on my own. Youve lived on your own for five years. Not on my own, really. Youve always b-been here. She took a long breath and closed her eyes, not wanting to see his expression after her words. From bravado to vulnerability in less than a minute. His voice was steady and in control when he spoke. Listen to me. Someone broke into your home. Someone has threatened you. Im a cop, and Im telling you, we need a proper investigation, or this wont stop. No! Alicia shook her head and planted her feet, finally feeling a little like herself again, even if a little hysterical. No, I cant. I cant go through having people in my trash again, stopping me from getting into my building, calling me nasty names just to get a reaction. None of that matters. It mattered to you! Loud and sharp, her words rang through the room and for a split second. This was not about some crazy man breaking into her apartment; it was about everything. It mattered to you, Tommy. His hands balled into fists, and his jaw clenched. Alicia knew he would never hit her, or any woman. She also knew, though, that hed bloodied his knuckles on a wall before, when he had that look. She held her breath. One day very soon were going to deal with this thing between us, but not today. This is not the time for either of us to be stubborn. That was it? That was the explosion? Alicia wrinkled her nose in confusion. I dont want anyone to find out. I cant live like that again. I cant. And you know it will happen to you, too. He stepped close to her, his head angled the way it was when he wanted a kiss. But he didnt want a kiss. I dont care about me. I have to protect you, Alicia. Im so, so sorry. Ive You said well deal with it, but not today. I agree. I dont want to talk about what happened. He looked as though he would argue, but she was prepared to dig in her heals. She couldnt handle this invasion in her home and her problems with Tommy at the same time. Fine. Then listen to this. Ive known you my whole life. Ive
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known and respected your father my whole life. I even owe it to Pam. This man wants to hurt you, and no matter what, I wont let that happen. She couldnt think of anything to say, so she said the stupidest, most provocative, and most inappropriate thing that came to mind. Hes not going to hurt me. He hearts me. Alicia let out an earsplitting shriek when Tommy grabbed her elbow and yanked her into the hall. He dragged her only a few feet before he turned her to the wall. There before her, on an almond-colored wall just a shade darker than her skin, there was a drawing of her. Life sized. Her twinkling blue eyes, her hair a nappy and wild halo around her head. She held glittery gold fabric in her right hand. Her body was naked, and perfect but for the open incision depicted in her chestwith her heart missing. Her knees buckled for the second time that day, but Tommy caught her, and she loved him for it. She reached out to touch the picture, but he pulled her hand away and tucked it into her side. In her ear he whispered gravely, Ill make sure no one comes up here that I dont trust. Ill make sure no one knows. No, Tommy, she wailed even as she stared at the picture and knew, with certainty, that the artist was coming for her. Closer every day. Possibly close enough to touch if she had come home the night before. You cant promise that. This isnt even your juris You cant expect me to keep quiet. We have to report this to keep you safe. We have to report this to keep me from catching a murder charge when I kill this fucker. Because I am going to fucking kill him. Alicia turned in his arms, reacting to the heat of his words, the steel of his body. He meant every word. And he meant it for her. Her nose brushed his eyebrow before his fingers clenched in her hair and he dragged her lips to his. His lips blazed hot over hers, and his tongue tasted of hot cinnamon; hed had a fireball before he came. Maybe hed known he would kiss her before he arrived, because she loved the taste of him naturally, but also adored the addition of the sweet and spicy heat. Either way, his kiss drugged her senses and had her shoving her hands beneath his jacket and running her palms over the perfect planes of
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his chest and the lean muscles of his back. When she dragged his sweater up and raked her nails over the naked skin of his back, he bit her bottom lip, and she moaned. Then his lips were on her jaw, her throat. Her body hummed with heat, and he grew hard against the inside of her thigh. She lifted one knee so he could fit better into her body, and he growled, turning her quickly and slamming her against the wall before he covered her again. His kisses, and his hands, and the perfection of his body, drew moan after moan from her as she nearly wept over what shed missed for so many months. This. This was what she wanted, what she would always want. He grabbed the front of her tank topa thin piece of cloth made more for showing off what was beneath than for concealing anything. The material ripped in his hands, and his head dipped to take a dusky brown nipple in his mouth. He suckled gently, and her hips rolled against him. Then he bit her firmly, and she yelped from both the welcome pain and scintillating pleasure. Lust rippled through her in scorching waves, and she wanted him to take her right there. But when she opened her eyes, she saw hand-drawn eyes, her own, looking back at her, rendered by a madman. The heat of desire turned to scorching embarrassment. Just like that, shed forgotten where she was, what was important, and given herself over to the passion only Thomas Shea Touhy could provoke. The memory of what had transpired the last time they were together choked her with despair and shame. Eyes burning with unshed tears, she pushed at his chest, but he didnt move. After one last nuzzle that seemed more comfort than anything else, he backed away. Dont look at it. Go on in the living room and wait. Ive got to make some phone calls. She nodded and adjusted her tank top. Even adjusted, it lolled open over her small breasts. Thered been a time when she wouldnt have cared, maybe even earlier that day. But now she felt dirty and went to grab her favorite sweater out of her bag. Back in the living room, she was confronted with the ubiquitous print of her stalker. I HEART YOU ALICIA. Even though she tried, she
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couldnt stop staring at the words. How would she ever be able to sleep in this house again withthat. ***** What the hell are you doing? Tommy shouted, ripping the pain roller from her hands. Alicia, stop that! Nooo! she squealed. She reached for the roller, knocking into the paint can and sloshing vanilla-colored paint onto her slate grey carpet. But she didnt give up. She came after the dripping brush, struggling with Tommy to get it. Licia, stop. Stop it. Stop! he told her, holding the roller away. She had a longer reached, and his irritation seemed to be rising with the effort. Finally, he captured her wrists in his other hand. What the hell is wrong with you? Its evidence. I cant leave my walls like this. I cant sleep here w-w-with them like this. Then go to your parents. Exasperation grated in his voice, but his brows furrowed in concern. He let her go and sighed. They never care when you stay over. They wont suspect anything to start. Ill have it painted while youre away. Alicia gulped air, misery tightening around her like a boa constrictor. Theyll know somethings wrong. Theytheyre already worried b-because Ive been there so many times because of all this. Tommys bright green eyes pierced her own. What do you mean? Her mouth popped open. What arent you telling me, Alicia? She closed her lips and refused to speak. Something ignited in his eyes. It looked like fear. He grabbed her shoulders and squeezed cruelly. He shook her. Alicia cried out, and he immediately released her, cursing and marching to the other side of the room. His hands fisted, he asked her again, What arent you telling me? Alicia still didnt answer. Instead, she walked on unsteady legs to the sideboard in her dining area and pointed at a cabinet below. Tommy
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went over and opened the cabinet. Inside were white dishes patterned with vivid shades of blue, red, and yellow. Shed bought them in Poland after a shoot. Lying on top of the dishes were five envelopes. Each of them was fat, stuffed with several pages. The one on top had eerily familiar black block letters. Tommy got them out and fanned through them. They all looked the same. None had return addresses, and none were stamped as if they had gone through the postal service. When did you start receiving these? The first one came in the summer. About a week afterafter When he opened his lips, she rushed forward. Its the only one where he says anything. I just figured it was a crazy fan. Everybody had an opinion of what I should do back then. Everyone m-made you out to be a bad guy and told me to stay away. So thats what this one says. Yeah. Its the one on the bottom. I just didnt think anything of it. You know the kind of mail I get. Her words trailed off as he pulled a pen out of his jacket and used it to scoop the folded stack of paper out of the envelope onto the dining room table. He used the cap and body of that pen to pull back the pages. Alicia knew he was reading a rant over Tommys barbaric treatment, and an insistence that Alicia had a heart sickness that was preventing her from seeing reason, to tell true love from fake. The rest of the page and the subsequent pages were covered in the same print. I HEART YOU ALICIA. How were they delivered? he asked looking up at her. I dont know. She held onto her upper left arm with her right hand. How did you get them? She shrugged. I dont know. Tommy, I dont know. Its the scariest part. They just seem to show up. But where? On me. They end up in my bag or my jacket. One time I was walking into the building, and I bumped into Brig. Right.
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Brig Ogawa, a blondorexic, Japanese-American luxury automaker heiress, lived in Alicias building. She hadnt ever had a job as far as anyone knew, but she had an enigmatic look and magnetism that opened the world to her, especially the fashion world. Right, well at first when I saw the paparazzi camped outside, I thought they were waiting for me, but they were trying to ask her about that whole thing with her father being arrested. They totally crowded her, and I felt so bad. I guess shed gone out without Tad and Michael for a change, because she was carrying all her own shopping bags, and only Kika was with her. Those Goddamn reporters wouldnt let her get to the door. Security was on their way, but I was right there, you know? So I helped get her inside, and then all of our things fell. I helped her pick up her stuff. She helped me pick up mine. Oggie even came in and helped. And when I thought we had everything, she reached for an envelope. I wasnt close to it, but even before Brig picked it up, I knew what it was. Our Brig gave that to you? One of his eyebrows went up. She did, but of course it wasnt her. Shes not stalking me, and she didnt have the letter ahead of time. Im sure of it. I was the one who had papers. All she had was clothes and shoes and that Chihuahua. And Oggie? Come on, you know Oggie. It wasnt him. Tommy gave a little shrug that seemed to say he would let it go for a moment, but he wouldnt acquit either of them just yet. Even if it wasnt either of them, Ill have to talk to them both a No. If you talk to them, theyll know. He spat out a curse. We have to use whatever we have to catch this guy, Licia. At the very least, Oggie will be able to get us video from the security cameras. This guy had to be in some of the footage. She gave a little shrug. And we cant rule out that he might live in the building. Security will be able to get me a list of tenants. That lump in her throat was back, and she focused on keeping her body still even though inside she shook. The letters on the table drew her
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attention. He still hadnt read all of them. He caught the direction of her gaze, and his tone softened. Have you? he asked. Still staring at the pile that looked so innocuous sitting there, she asked, Have I what? Have you read them all? He received a tight nod as a response. Are they more of this? He gestured toward the open letter then toward the living room. Again, a curt nod. Worse? A third time. And you kept them, but you didnt report it? I didnt know what to do with them. I didnt know what to do with them. I d-d-didnt know w-what You could have called me, he said softly. Stony silence. Look at me. She didnt comply. Instead, she brought a hand up to her lips, still swollen and tender from his kiss, as horror overcame her. Look at me, he commanded, and her gaze slashed toward his face. Breathe, Alicia. Breathe. Im going to get this guy. Im never going to let anything happen to you. Tell me you know that. Her mouth opened, but no words escaped. He rounded the table and took her face in his hands. Say it. Make me know that after everythingeverythingyou believe in me. I do believe in you, she rushed, needing to make him feel wanted and worthy. You will get him, and you will always keep me safe. Her words obviously soothed him. He looked satisfied. A long time ago, she had started to hate herself for the way she reflexively catered to his ego, almost eagerly allowing him to dominate her. Misery set in as she realized once more that she couldnt stop herself from doing it, could not stop him from seeing it and believing what he would about her. Why was she always giving him a new way to hurt her? Please dont look at me like that, baby, he pleaded, but she couldnt help it.
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Chapter Three
Tommy leaned in and gave her a quick kiss that felt like an apology. Then he sat her down at the dining table and faced her toward the window. Maybe if she watched outside, she could pretend everything was normal. She let herself be comforted by the sound of his voice as he barked orders into the phone, made demands, and was generally bull-headed the way he had always been. Maybe not always, but at least since hed graduated high school and decided that Alicia needed a different sort of man. She shook her head, lost in thought about the way hed changed since they were kids. One day hed been shy, funny, and sweet. Sure, hed always had a bit of a temper, but it hadnt turned into throwing punches until well after he started religiously going to the gym and building the kind of muscle and body one only saw in workout infomercials. After hed realized he was more than a little good in a fight and had the muscle to back it up, it was as if hed found a whole new persona: Billy Bad Ass. Confident, aggressive, brawling, shrewdand all hers. At first, she hadnt liked it. Then again, shed never been much for change. But the revelation came quickly that the new Tommy was just like the old Tommy, only he dripped sex appeal. Through exploration with her, hed developed the skills to back it up. She got wet when she thought of just how damn manly hed become, and how good in bed. She hadnt even known she liked rough sex until he came home amped from the police academy one day, bent her
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over the dining room table, literally ripped her panties off, and fucked her hard until he came. She hadnt come, but her body had been so close that she was raw and aching when he gripped her hair and pulled her up so that her body was arched and her sex was still open for him. He finished her with his fingers while he kissed her deeply, his tongue mimicking the movement of his hands. When she came, he fucked her again on the floor. The next day at a swimsuit photo shoot, she had to come up with a ridiculous explanation for her bruises. And it wouldnt be the last time. It took her years to realize that as scandalous as it was, she should have just told the truth. If she had, maybe people would never have referred to Tommy as Supermodel Alicias Langeruds Bad Boy Boyfriend, or started rumors that he beat on her regularly and used his position on the police force to cover it up. She cradled her face in her hands. No one knew Tommy, and no one knew her. But everyone on the planet thought they did, especially when gorging on the crap found in gossip mags, entertainment TV, and worst of all, insider blogs. Sure, in pictures she looked half innocent, half vamp, and the world seemed to think she was utterly wholesome and nave, desirable but unobtainable. She wasnt. At least not wholesome. And she liked the feeling of danger of being with him, waking up with his fingerprints on her ribcage. She also liked the knowledge that he would never really hurt her and the marks werent exactly because of his superhuman strength or cruelty, but more the result of her easily bruised skin. Tommy wasnt who they thought he was, either. This man who felt everything deeply still wrote poetry, though hed hidden his work since her dad had made fun of him for it when they were in the ninth grade. He loved his clothesloved his clothesmore than other men loved cars or sports. He loved her, had loved her, and hed been willing to forget reason for her. That mistake had destroyed everything. The public saw what they wanted. Alicia the virginal siren had been sacrificed to the Irish beast with a violent temper and a taste for the
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weak. The images and headlines from back then flashed behind her eyes. It had been awful. It was still awful. The other cops arrived, startling Alicia out of her reverie and back into the horror of the moment. Tommy herded them into her living room and began issuing orders. They were in street clothes and it looked as if their crime scene kits had been crammed into backpacks. Tommy had done it. Perhaps they would be able to keep this quiet after all. ***** I recommend we release this to the press, drop some hints about the guys manhood, smoke him out that way. Someone had called her Lopez, and she was tall, caf au lait toned, and pretty. Alicias lip curled. To add salt to injury, the detectives mere presence in the room meant that Tommy knew her well and trusted her. She wore snug black slacks and an ill-fitting, black button-down shirt with silver pinstripes. Thank God neither looked designer or particularly fashion-forward. She might look his type, but Tommy was a closeted fashion snob, and this chick was losing points all over the place. At a time like this, Alicia shouldnt care. Tommy could see anyone he wanted. Besides, sexual relationships should have been the farthest thing from her mind, and it was probably the farthest from Tommys. Only, it hadnt been earlier. His body had strained to bury itself in hers less than two hours earlier. Sex was never far from his brain, and he didnt like to go without. Alicia didnt speak. Instead, she looked to Tommy. Nahh, he answered the detective. I dont think were at that place yet. Besides, wed like to protect Miss Langeruds privacy as much as we can. Miss Langerud scrutinized Detective Lopez a little more. Beneath her light make up, her skin tone was uneven in places. A shadow around her mouth hinted that she might have a facial hair problem, and she was a little thick around the middle. Alicia cursed silently. Shame heated her cheeks for picking on this
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woman for no good reason. Even if Tommy was involved with her, it was none of Alicias business. They were over. Screw that. Business or not, Alicia didnt know what shed do if she found out they were an item. Detective Lopez moved closer to Tommy and gestured with a long, sculptured nail at something in the letter he was reviewing. Why would a cop need acrylic nails? And hot pink? Really? Im no profiler, but Im telling you this screams fear of emasculation. It would work. Maybe. Tommy shrugged. It was a nonchalant movement, but his taut muscled played under his shirt. Hed dropped his black, Moncler Gamme Bleu three-quarters jacket on the sofa, and his long-sleeved black Marni sweater was a snug fit. Despite, or maybe because, of the outrageous juxtaposition of superior fashion and gritty cop, his pale coloring against the black was startling and, well, erotic. Detective Lopez seemed to notice. Were still not releasing anything unless absolutely necessary, he told her. Lopez nodded before she wrapped her fingers around his bicep and turned back to Alicia to say, I understand, Miss Langerud. Alicia stared pointedly at the hand on Tommys arm. Everyone on the planet knew of their relationship. There was no way this bitch didnt know what she was doing, and in Alicias apartment while some psycho fantasized about cutting her heart out with a carving knife. Thank God he shrugged off her touch. ***** Its either with your parents or with me. Those are your choices. Alicia stubbornly chewed her bottom lip. Neither option seemed appetizing, even though she certainly didnt feel she could stay in her apartment. Maybe that morning shed had it in her head to talk things through with Tommy, but after spending several tense hours with him no longer looking her in the eye, she didnt know if they would ever come
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back from what had happened between them. He was agitated, and the more time he spent in the house going over evidence, the more agitated he got. Alicia knew the signals of the caged lion demanding the hunt. He needed to get out and do something. He needed to go looking for her stalker. He needed to exert himself, take action, release this tension. Six months ago, she would have known how to calm him. She would have curled her body into his, no matter where they were, and lay her head in the crook of his neck. Then she would whisper to him that he needed to fuck. It has to be your parents, he told her. The image of their bodies entwined turned to mush behind her eyelids. I need to get out there. I need to do something. So did she. This inability to suppress her sexual urges around him had to be overcome. Instead of saying what was on her mind, she nodded and told him shed take the same bag shed brought back from Borneo the day before. Inside, she castigated herself for her sociopathic libido. Ill drop you there. That way I can talk to security and make sure they know whats Dont look at me like that. Weve been through this. You agreed to let me handle communicating this to any integral parties. You have to let me take care of this. Alicia needed to think. Her father and stepmother were guaranteed to be out when they arrived, but how would she prevent security from saying anything to them? And where the hell could she stay and feel safe if not at their place and not with Tommy? I dont want to go to my parents. You said I could stay with you. Tommy tilted his head and gave her a funny look. She couldnt quite read it, which was a surprise, considering how long theyd known each other. Theres no security at my place when Im not there, and theres no guarantee some paparazzi asshole wont wander by trying to get a picture of me and alert everyone in the five boroughs as to where youre hiding out.
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Alicia shook her head and put her hands on his biceps. What if I promise not to come there until youre home? I cant stay at my parents. I dont want them to know about this and worry. Its not safe enough, and besides, you know there are still too many things unresolved between us. Reflexively, she argued, Theres nothing unresolved. You said your peace and He blinked. A fiery fringe of hair lowered over his brilliant eyes and rose again. One fascinating freckle was right on his hairline. He swallowed and lowered his voice. What I said to you was wrong. I dont want to talk about this. Besides, you didnt say anything wrong. You said exactly what happened. He shook his head as if to bring himself back to the task at hand. We will discuss it later, Alicia. For now, I have an idea. He held his hand out to her, and she took it. Two birds with one stone.
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Chapter Four
Two men in very retro, full cut suits made of some shiny gray material bracketed the door. As bodyguards went, they did not look particularly impressive. Maybe it was the pink T-shirts under their jackets, maybe the blonde tips in their pompadoured locks, or maybe it was the fact that both were incredibly slim. Tad, Michael, Tommy greeted them. Alicia waved. Shes in there, I guess? Both men shrugged. Tommy reached out to knock on the door, but both men closed in and stood in front of it. They were all friends, but those guys had an insane relationship with their duty. Before mild annoyance could turn into out and out rage, Alicia put a hand on the back of Tommys neck and rubbed. I texted her. Shell come out. Just then, the door opened. The smell of patchouli with a hint of the earthy, nutty tang of marijuana wafted out. Brig stood there wearing a bright red sari adorned with gold embroidery and white beading. She wore a gold cuff around her slim upper arm. Her light brown eyes, with jewels in her lashes, tilted up at the corners. Her nose was flat and cute, and her rose-lipped smile was engaging. Her long, carefully dyed golden locks were braided and piled artfully on top of her head. Hey, Brig. Tommy spoke first and came forward to embrace the tiny superstar.
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Alicia noted that Brig with her small stature and exotic looks struck an attractive match with her ex-boyfriend. Hey, Tommy, Brig said, her voice deep and raspy as if shed smoked for twenty years. She hugged him back. Boy, Ive missed you! Impulsively, he kissed her on the cheek. Alicia didnt mind. Brig just had that effect on people, including her. She came forward and embraced her friend, too. When Brig stroked her hair, the compassion shook her, flooding her with emotion, not the least of which was fear. Whats wrong, baby? Brig asked, leading her deep into her lair and leaving Tommy to close the door and follow. Theres something I have to tell you, Alicia said. And I have a huge favor to ask. Anything for you, sugar. You seem so tense. You want some weed? Brig! Tommy barked. Still playing cops and robbers, I see. I liked you better when you were playing Mickey Rourke. Brig! This time Alicia yelled. Their host shrugged a shoulder. Im sorry. And its okay, yes? Mickey Rourkes a very nice guy, too. My dad gave him a concept car after the whole award thing. She waved for them both to lower themselves onto the mounds and mounds of jewel-toned cushions that made her living room look like a cross between a harem and a nomads tent. Brigs hodgepodge of cultures in her dress, decorating tastes, and even ethnic background, served to enhance her allure. As soon as they sat, a tiny dog, blonde as its owner, trotted into the room and jumped into Tommys lap. Hey, Kika, Tommy crooned and stroked the dog that licked his chin. Even after all this time shes infatuated with you, Brig remarked. Then she turned pointedly to Alicia. So tell me what it is you want me to know and ask your favor. Favor first. I really hate to ask this, but I need a place to stay for a
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few days. My apartment isnt safe, and I dont want to go to my parents. Well, of course you know you can stay here, dearest. Stay as long as you like. But why do you need to? If its safety youre worried about, Id think youd want to stay with our reformed Mickey Rourke here. Nobody would come near you. Tommy quirked an eyebrow at her, but he didnt bristle. Instead, the man actually chuckled and continued to stroke the tiny dog. How Brig managed to poke fun at him relentlessly and never piss him off, Alicia would never know. Tell me whats happened. Alicia took a fortifying breath then spilled her story. To Brigs credit, she said nothing, not one dry or urbane comment. Instead, her dark eyes twinkled, and she waved Alicia over for a hug. Im so sorry. I am. I know how this is. Ive been through it twice, and it is no goddamn fun. Ill help in any way I can. Im glad you said that, Brig, Tommy told her. Ive got some questions for you. Of course. Brig nodded. I do still have some things in place from the last time this happened to me. A list of all residents, though I doubt its any of us. I also have a list of all employees, but I dont think its any of them, either. After that first guy got caught going through Tatiane Pleshettes trash, the management has been really diligent about screening applicants. Theyre even doing psych evals and everything. If you ask me, my money is on someone who works at the agency. Why? Alicia asked. Access. Theyre the only people who have unfettered access to you besides those of us who love you. Someone had to be right up in your personal space without you blinking an eye, girlfriend. Alicia and Tommy exchanged looks. Brig was, as usual, brilliant, but her words were horrifying. Alicia pressed a hand to her chest. Im going to have to go down there, Tommy said. Tommy, no. If you go to Lane V, Pam and Dad will find out for sure. You cant start asking questions. Listen, I dont want to cause a problem, but Im going to do what I
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have to do to catch this guy. You know I am. Dont you think Iwehave put them through enough this year? He slumped back against the cushions and cuddled Kika closer to his chest. Youre right. Since my mothers gone, your parents are like my parents. But if we dont get anywhere in the next forty-eight hours, it isnt going to be avoidable. Alicia lifted one shoulder in reluctant capitulation. Brigs cell phone let out a loud and violent ping, and Kika started to bark. Kika, shh! Brig picked up her phone and flipped a keyboard out. In seconds, the front door came open and in lumbered tall, awkward Detective Lopez in her cheap clothes and offensive nails. Touhy, we got access to the video from security. You want to come take a look? We were able to confirm that the footage is of each entrance, exit, and elevator. Not as much as wed like, but the most important stuff. Welcome to my home, Officer? Brig smiled while presenting the most effective reprimand for etiquette on record. Ah Lopez, Detective Lopez. Im sorry, Miss Ogawa, I didnt mean to barge in. You didnt, Brig returned with a raised eyebrow. Tad and Michael let you in. The pretty cop looked confused. Tommy came to her rescue. So you have the security footage? Thats good. Faster than I would have expected. Ill come right now. Alicia, if we need you to take a look, Ill let you know. Alicia agreed and stood when he did. Brig stood as well then came over to stand next to Detective Lopez. With a superb sense of comedy, she stood very close to the taller woman and looked at her from head to toe as if amazed. The juxtaposition of the five-foot tall, ninety-pound-soaking-wet Asian next to the Amazon was indeed amusing. Lopez spared her a nervous glance then stepped apart from her a
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little. Lets go, Tommy told Lopez. She gave him a quick nod and turned away. Before he exited, though, he came back to Alicia. Will you call me tonight? Let me know if you think of anything. Hell, call me if you dont think of anything. Just check in, okay? Okay, Alicia said and, on impulse, threw her arms around him. He hugged her tight before giving Brig a half-hug and another thank you before he left. Come by any time, there, Detective Lopez, Brig called after them. Tad and Michael peered in from the open door and asked if everything was okay. Come in, boys, Brig sang. We have another stalker. This time its not mine or Kikas. The little dog yipped at hearing her name.
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Chapter Five
Why are you in the gym? Because I feel like working out, Tommy said, concentrating on his leg presses and not Marisol Lopez. Damn, dude, she drew out. Sorry, I just figured you would want to get some rest and relaxation after going strong for two days on this thing. I know you havent slept. Shit, maybe youre too wired to rest. At least you should be having a cold one at Wilhagans. Nope, Tommy answered and performed another leg press. It burned. Hell, it burned a lot, but he didnt care. Maybe he could drive himself hard enough to make his mind go blissfully blank. If exercise didnt work, hed go home alone where a bottle of Jameson would. The last thing he needed was to drink beer at a bar when he was still wound like a bedspring. Hed be breaking open his knuckles on the first guy who rubbed him the wrong way, and someone always rubbed him the wrong way at Wilhagans. Drinking Irish redheads with tempers didnt always like jokes about drinking Irish redheads with tempers; especially not jokes about short, drinking Irish redheads with tempers. Maybe he should go. The side of his mouth curled upward. Thats a scary smile. Tommy steeled himself and pressed the weight once more. With a sideways glance, he remarked, You dont sound scared. No. She licked her lips. They were full and covered in pink gloss
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that flashed an image of what the wet lips of her sex would be like. I guess scared isnt what I am, Tommy. He never should have said anything. There was no point in flirting with her. Shaking his head, he stood. Is there something you want? Yes. Her answer was quick and bold and didnt leave any question as to what the object of her desire was. Marisol. He grabbed her wrists before she could put her hands on his face. He couldnt let her touch him. It would lead to a really, really fucked up situation for the both of them. Maybe she had caught him looking. Hell, he had been looking. After all, she was formed exactly how he liked his women. Or almost exactly. Caramel skin. Long, curly black hair. Luscious lips. High breasts. A small waist. A tall, slender body with legs so long they just wouldnt stop. An ass a man would want to take a bite out of. Her scent was a bonus. She smelled sweet and tart, like flowers and berries. Yeah, Marisol was almost right. But her eyes were a pretty amber brown, notblue. Alicia was five-feet-eleven inches of pure unadulterated hell. Skin, pale caramel; hair, long, coarse, wild chestnut locks that almost gave one the impression of a wolfs mane; body, long and curvaceous with a waist so tiny the proportion seemed almost impossible when compared to her generous hips. She had an ass he could sink his teeth into. And he had, so many times. Her most mesmerizing features, though, were by far her eyes. Closed, she could have been anyone. Latina, Indian-American or Asian, African-American, French even. Open, they were the most vibrant and perfect blue, and she looked like an English princess fresh from sunbathing in St. Tropez. Shit. Alicia was the only reason why a man like him could even make a reference to St. Tropez. She was never far from his thoughts or sexual fantasies, and now he had seen her more fragile than he ever had in life. This threat to her frightened him, and he didnt take well to be frightened. He needed to be in charge. So, hed been out the past two days trying to follow what tenuous leads he could, even though this wasnt technically his case. This
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was Marisols jurisdiction, and she had the lead on it. Im more trouble than you deserve, Tommy told her finally. He winced when his words, meant to put her off, instead seemed to excite her. She studied his face then shifted closer to him so her body brushed his. Why was it every time he told a woman he was no good for her, she seemed to just want him all the more? Im serious. You dont want any part of me. She came closer and tilted her head down toward him. Marisol was taller than Tommy. Another trait in the womans favor. Yet another reminder of what he truly wanted. He set her away with gentle but firm hands. She swallowed and nodded. I thought it was over with Americas sweetheart. A little flash of anger sparked in the pit of his stomach. He thought it was over with Americas sweetheart, too. He didnt need Marisol poking at this wound, especially not then. Something of what he felt must have shown on his face, because she nodded again then turned away. No onell ever say I didnt give it a shot. Oh, and by the way, the lab called. I figured after losing a day on crappy security footage that didnt give us anything, youd be interested to know they found something on the letters. Im headed there in five if you want to find out what it is. Tommy watched her go, thankful she hadnt noticed his hard-on. Shed never believe it had nothing to do with her. How hed managed to stay that way on and off for the past two fucking days was beyond him. Ever since kissing Alicia in her hallway, hed been haunted by the lips, the eyes, and the body of a siren. Every straight man on the planet wanted her. But hed had her, had been her first, had been her only for so long. And she had come to him again, completely familiar and yet so torturously sexy that he was convinced his cock was going to find its own way out of his pants. Alicia would have let him fuck her right there, had it not been for that damn psycho. And by God, hed wanted to. Hed missed her. But the way theyd broken up, he didnt know how she would respond if he had.
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The last thing he wanted was for her to let go of her inhibitions with him only to feel guilty and humiliated afterward. The fact that humiliating her was even a possibility was his fault. He cursed himself for being a complete and utter bastard. What hed done to the woman he loved could not be undone. That bottle of Jameson was calling him, so he decided to hit the showers. The very cold showers. Touhy? Shit. Sir? he asked with as much respect as he could muster, which wasnt a lot. Do you know what precinct this is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he knew. Alicias case was just a little outside his jurisdiction. And he had provoked an altercation with a suspect purely to let off some steam. He had a long list of infractions, and he was sure he was about to hear every one before he could get to the lab with Marisol. ***** Tommy had made his way through a mental suspect list and managed his way through about half a pint of whiskey by the time he heard the knock at his door. Hed drunk too much, too fast, but his brain was still functioning, and he was still seeing her in his minds eye. So he welcomed the knock. Something to take his mind off Alicia. Who is it? he called, sliding his hand into the top drawer of the end table beside his sofa and palming his service revolver. Blair. Tommy let out a long, lengthy series of curses, flipping between English and Celt. He closed the drawer then went and opened the door. He filled the doorway as best he could, not wanting to welcome Blair. What can I do for you, sir? Dont be a little jackass, Tommy, Blair said as he pushed past. Almost a foot taller and broad in the shoulders, the older man made his living room feel even smaller than it was. And it wasnt just his size that
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made him so intimidating. Tommy respected Blair like a father. Hell, for a few years, the man had been a father to him, despite his relationship with his daughter. Which was why he was on edge. If Blair was here, there was only one thing he wanted to talk about. I want to know whats going with my daughter. Sir? You heard me. Although he slowly walked around studying the room, his voice held pure steel. He stopped, and his gaze caught Tommys. What did you do to Alicia? Should I have cut off your testicles six months ago instead of listening to the women in my family? Blair, I Fast like lightning, Blair grabbed Tommy by the front of his shirt, practically lifting Tommy off his feet. It wasnt the first time hed been at this kind of disadvantage, and hed come out on top every time, including that very day. But he would not fight Blair, especially when he still felt guilty as hell. I didnt mean to hurt her. What did you do? Nothing. All I did was break up with her. We exchanged words, and it was over. I didnt do any of the things reported in the tabloids. You know me, sir. You know I would never lay a finger on her in anger. Then why is she crying all the time? Why is she over at the house all the time? Why does she act like a recluse? What happened to my baby? Blair, I cant talk to you about this. I cant betray her. But, it is my fault. Trust me to make it right. I swear to God, Blair, on my fathers grave, on my mothers grave. I will keep her safe, and I will make her happy again. Blair let him go, and Tommy finally let out that breath he had been holding. Can I get you something? A drink? Damned if I dont need another one. Blair nodded and took his whiskey over the rocks. Through that whole ordeal six months ago, Blair said after lowering his huge body into one of Tommys hunter green chairs and taking a sip, from the time those photos were released, shes been
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miserable. She told us it wasnt your fault. As her father, I had a choice to either trust her or come down here and beat the living shit out of you, kid. Tommy acknowledged the comment with a nod. What else could he do? She didnt want to leave her house. She passed on jobs, even though Pam told her that her best strategy was to keep on working as if nothing had happened. My daughter has always been optimistic, invincible. Not one bit of fear in her eyes, no tears or histrionics. But you broke her. Maybe not the way it was reported, but you broke her, and now you think you can just fix it? Shit. It would be nice if Tommy could say something in his defense, but he came up with nothing. Blair repeated himself. Tommy cleared his throat. I dont know what to tell you, sir. Has she been in contact with you? No, sir. The lie was easy, because Alicia didnt want her parents to know about her stalker. And if he said he hadnt spoken with her, maybe Blair wouldnt continue with the uncomfortable questions. But youre so confident you can fix this, huh? Blair, sir, Ive never really been good enough for her. Tommy turned away and cleared his throat over a lump that had formed there. You saw thetheah photos. I did. But if I thought you were capable of I didnt hurt her physically that night in any way, no matter what it looked like. But I did damn near destroy her career. And I hurt her feelings in a way I cant take back. I dont know if she will forgive me, but I have to try. Blair studied him with eyes just like hers. How long has it been since youve seen her? Sir? When was the last time you saw Alicia? I cant walk past a magazine rack in the grocery store or watch TV for five minutes without seeing her.
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Tommy. His voice held warning. Maybe six months. Before shed called, it had been five months, two weeks, three days... Blair sat forward in his seat and leveled an aggressive glare at him. The cover of The Starry Eye. What is your version of events? Tommy winced. Reporters make me out to look like a stereotypical Irish hothead, but Im not. Hell, sometimes Alicia likes to think it, too, even though she knows me better than anyone else in the world. So is that it? Alicia bought into the hype, too? With all due respect, Blair, this isnt something I want to discuss with you. Its not my favorite channel either, kid. Tommy looked away, shaking his head. I cant talk about it with you. I dont want to, and she wouldnt want me to. Blair swished his drink and sat silently for a moment. We miss you around the place, Thomas. Then he stood and held his hand out. Tommy took it, noting that the older man had not taken a sip of his drink. Tommy, son, if you love Alicia, you need to end this. I will, sir. I will. Tommy meant it, but he knew hed lied by omission. He should tell Blair about the stalker, but he didnt. See you around, Blair told him before he opened the door. Tommy closed the door behind the hulking Norwegian. Then he took up the drink hed poured for the man whod once been a prime candidate for father-in-law and downed it. It burned on its way to his belly, and he tried to shake off the fog that had already started descending over his brain. Its so fuckin hot in here, he said to no one in particular. He shut off the furnace then peeled off his T-shirt. In the bathroom, he splashed water on his face, throat, and chest. Hands on the counter, he stared at himself in the mirror. His small frame did not bear an ounce of excess fat. He was pure lean and steel, with muscles cut into his flesh like marble. But no matter
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how much he worked out, how strong he grew, he was still only five-eight with bright white, plaster of Paris skin covered in freckles, green eyes, and hair the color somewhere between a copper pot and that of raw carrots. No matter how many criminals he took to the mat, he was still that puny, red-haired kid that got called everything from Raggedy Andy to Chucky. Still, Tommy couldnt hate that kid. That kid had once held unadulterated beauty in the palm of his hands. He had known bliss. His world had revolved around Alicia for so long. He hadnt had an identity other than her acolyte until he decided to follow in his fathers footsteps and join the police force. After that, he discovered that he was smart. Not just book smart, but also excellent at observation and putting puzzles together. Even more surprising was the discovery of how agile and athletic he could be. When he was younger, hed always feared athletics, or rather failing at athletics because he was so much shorter and skinnier than other guys. But at the academy, he found the release of a good physical workout served to make him think clearer, to calm him, andwith him eating well enoughto pack on muscle that started to turn girls heads. He only wanted one. Even as he changed, his love and attraction for Alicia only grew. Alicia, the girl of his dreams, had always been his girlfriend, so-to-speak, but when they were teenagers, it just seemed as if she couldnt be bothered with the effort of getting to know another guy. Tommy was comfortable, sensitive, and passive. Easy. He always thought that one day someone big and strong and dapper like her dad would sweep her off her feet, some asshole male model with looks like a Grecian god. Surprisingly enough, though, she responded to the changes in him just like other women, maybe more. The more he worked out, gained assertiveness, even put himself in danger in the line of duty, the more he found she couldnt seem to keep her hands off him. It was divine. Alicias passion drugged him, seduced him, pushed him to the edge. The more she wanted, the more he gave, the more she wanted, until their sexual chemistry had started eclipsing every other aspect of their
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relationship. Andyes, he knew this part was completely insaneTommy had started getting jealous of himself. He knew it didnt make any sense, but inside, he still felt like the nerdy kid chasing after her. Although she was willing, Alicia had never been so sexually aggressive with him, shed never wanted him the way she wanted this newborn, cocky cop. It didnt make sense, especially because he had become addicted to the adrenaline rush that was sex between them. Unfortunately, logic was no balm to his raw nerves. Tommy went to pour himself another drink, but he thought better of it. Instead, he put some coffee on and spread out all of the evidence hed been able to get his hands on, the clues to the identity of the man who threatened the one thing in the world he held dear.
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Chapter Six
Michael gave up his bedroom for Alicia. After drinks and laughs that night, he recovered some clothes and toiletries and went to Brigs room to sleep. Alicia was certain that Tad would join them. Those three probably slept together all the time, they were so close. Not like brothers and sisters, but more like feral cubs, nipping and biting until they curled into each other to rest. Was it weird? It would have been less weird, maybe, if they were sexually intimate with each other. But they werent. Brig was into girls these days, Michael was into guys, and Tad had been abstinentincluding masturbationfor more than seven years. Yep, they were weird. But, it stood to reason, Alicia got on so well with them because so was she. Deviant even. Rolling onto her back, she savored the feel of the dark gray satin sheets. Was she really? Was she normal, or was there something really wrong with her? Alicia had never really considered herself an exhibitionist, and yet how could she not be? To be good at her job, she had to be comfortable with people looking at her. It didnt pay for her to ever be self-conscious. In the beginning, when she and Tommy began to make love, he was scrawny and freckled and nervous about letting her see him naked. Alicia had to draw him out by promising views of her own body. That was before shed bared every inch of herself in pictures and on runways, and Tommy had been unable to resist the lure. So, from the very first, shed liked being on display for him. It drove her to the brink, and it began six years of sexual exploration
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between them. As Tommy grew into the man hed become, the sex had grown into something magnificent and sometimes a little frightening in its power. Every act she wanted to try, Tommy wanted to try. Every place she wanted to christen, Tommy wanted to christen. Every couples toy or game she could find, Tommy wanted to play. And when Alicia had an explosive orgasm after he pretended she was a perp in desperate need of extreme interrogation, he had let go of his final restraint, opening the floodgates to intense emotion and an animalistic desire to completely dominate her. And she loved it. All of it. She loved to play at antagonizing him, to draw his temper to the surface, to force him over the edge only to beg, to plead, to offer her body as a delicious sacrifice. About a year before the world ended, that had translated into a sexual fantasy she couldnt shake. It plagued her day and night. She wanted someone to see. Maybe that was why she was a model, or maybe being a model had done it to her. But the scene of what had become her ultimate fantasy played behind her eyelids all the time. Alicia would be out in a club, dressed skimpy, drinking and dancing with friends. Tommy would storm in, demanding that she leave with him. Shed refuse. Tommy would grab her, tell her what he was going to do to her, then drag her out of a club forcibly, daring anyone to challenge him. Shed fightbut not too muchand demand that he let her go, but he wouldnt. He would lose his patience and take her right then and there in public. Alicia sometimes felt guilty about the fantasy, but it had a life of its own, and she wanted it anyway. Desperately. This video playing in her head had started keeping her up at night, until she finally confessed it to Tommy. He didnt shy away or condemn her for asking. He flushed and said it was impractical, even as arousal stirred inside him. The fact that he was intrigued spurred her on, so she pressed. Hell, she pushed. She insisted that theyd never want to do it again once they got it out of their systems. She demanded it, then she begged for it, but in this, Tommy was the cooler head, and he prevailed. In the beginning. But Alicia couldnt let it go, and when she persisted, he became
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distant, physically and emotionally. She didnt know why. Granted, he still wanted to spend time with her, and he desired her, but he seemed to reject the passion. He wanted boring evenings on the couch and quiet, missionary sex. Well, sometimes he did still want her on top, but that was it. So she wanted her fantasy even more. One night, after shed been in Europe for nearly a month for work, she promised him a quiet night at home, a movie, drinks, maybe a romantic bath with rose petals and candles. They would celebrate her homecoming after the brief separation by making love slowly, deliberately. They talked about it for a week. Tommy had even passed a lead on to another cop to follow up on that night. Alicia could only imagine what had happened when hed walked through the front door and found her note. He would be furious or titillated, or both. When her cell phone rang, she was sitting in Brigs lap, trying not to crush the smaller woman with her weight. They were at the opening of Post Coitus, an exclusive new nightclub filled with the aroma of expensive cigarettes, top-shelf liquor, and leather. The owners had paid Brig a tidy sum just to show up. The socialite had been more than happy to attend, and now she looped her arms around Alicias waist as she carried on an animated and loudto be heard over the driving musicconversation with Tad about his vow of celibacy. Tad had just claimed that he had started having spontaneous ejaculations when Alicias cell phone vibrated. Alicia looked at it and saw her favorite mean-mug shot of Tommy on the screen. Tell him I said hi, Brig rushed to say before patting Alicia on the ass. At the cue, Alicia stood so that Brig could drag her boys out onto the dance floor. Where the fuck are you? Her eyes widened, but a sly smile fluttered over her lips. She kept her voice breezy. At PC with Brig, Tad, and Michael. Im amazed I can hear with the music. Can you hear me? We had plans, Alicia.
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I know. Come home. She chewed the inside of her cheek. Tommy was telling her what to do in that tone that meant there would be consequences if she didnt do exactly as he said. This was either a really bad sign that promised good things to come, or a really bad sign that promised really bad things to come. Alicia was optimistic. No, I think Ill stay out. The hell you will. I went to all kinds of trouble to get here for this, and now youre out? Ill be home in a couple of hours. Dont push my buttons. Oh, but she wanted to push his buttons. The fantasy had been playing on her for months by then, only amplified by his recent restraint in the bedroom. Her courage ebbed and flowed like the tide, but it got stronger and stronger that night, as if a full moon approached. Ill be home in Come home now. No. Im giving you one more chance. Or what? She put the heel of her hand in her mouth and bit down. She needed to calm the anticipation, take her mind off the incredible waves of anticipation making her pussy hot and electrified. What would he say? What would he do? Had she really pushed him too far? Or Im going to come the fuck down there. Just like that, her body went slick and limp. He could have said he would stay home. He could. And if he did, she would come there and beg forgiveness for this. But he knew what she wanted, and he was coming anyway. Damn, she needed a drink to counteract the giddiness now infusing the trills through her body. She was about to have a very public fight with her boyfriend, and maybe a somewhat public but completely explosive make up.
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In twenty minutes, she stepped onto the dance floor. Her sequined Anna Sui mini-dress, falling higher than mid-thigh, glittered in the roving lasers lights. Her skin, on great display, radiated a healthy glow, and she knew her wild hair had never been wilder or more alluring. As she danced, she imagined that her blue eyes caught the light from time to time and surprised onlookers. And there were many onlookers. Partygoers as famous as she was still snatched glances her way. She was used to it, but being on display, knowing what was coming, only elevated her high. She started to dance near Brig and the boys, touching them, letting them touch her as she put on a show. Then she caught sight of an altercation at the entrance. When she glimpsed pale skin and coppery hair, she actually felt moisture pool in her pussy. She kept dancing. When he got in, she turned on the dance floor, facing him, moving her body in sinuous lines to the music. The lights changed color. Cobalt, amber, scarlet. Each flash changed the hue of her skin, the shine of her hair, but loved her curves and the planes of her face each time. Come on, he growled at her as he reached for her hand. She didnt give it to him, and his jaw worked as he ground his teeth. His body sang to her of anger and lust. Whats the rush? Her voice was coy, her smile sharp and challenging. You know what the rush is. You were supposed to be home tonight, and youre going to be. Later. Not later, he spat, grabbing her upper arm. Now. As she tripped along after him in her six-inch stilettos with twinkling, bright green sequins, a moan escaped her lips. Her arousal was so strong it hurt with every movement, creating the heightened stimulation. For a second, she worried that either Tad or Michael would try to stop them, but she figured Brig held them back. When they got to the entrance of the club, one of the bouncers the size of a grizzly bear asked if she was all right. She nodded, and Tommy
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tugged her even harder through the door. When the grizzly bear tried to impede his progress, Alicia was scared Tommy would hit him and a real fight would break out. Instead, her boyfriend pulled his badge out of his shirt where it was hanging on a chain around his neck. He didnt just hold it up; he smacked the bouncer in the eye with it. The guy was pissed, but he did nothing, and the couple spilled out into the heat of a midsummer, New York night. Tommy hurried her down the block where he took a left and brought her into a service alley where his car waited. Alicia looked up to see if theyd been followed. They had. Two girls huddled close to each other, peering at them from the end of the alley. Why didnt you come home? You know why. No, what I know is that youve been lying to me all week. Im trying to help us get close again, and you decide to go out gallivanting with Brig, pissing me off on purpose. Tommys hands closed tightly around her upper arms. Gallivanting? More people were at the end of the alley now, and Alicia wasnt as committed to the game anymore. Alicia! he snapped, shaking her. She licked her lips, and a little moan escaped from between them. Come on, baby, you know She looked at the end of the alley where there seemed to be a commotion. Thank God for Brig. Alicia didnt know what kind, but her friend was creating a distraction, and the crowd was following her away. She moved deeper into the shadows of the alley, behind Tommys car, partially shielded by it. You did this to piss me off. Her eyes lowered. Are you pissed off? Alicia cupped his dick through his pants, and his hardness flexed toward her. Are you? She bit her lower lip, and her gaze fixed on his mouth. Yeah, he rasped even as he groaned.
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She tilted her head a little bit and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His lips opened, and he turned his head for a real kiss. Sensual lips on lips, the soft, wet flicker of their tongues playing against each other. She opened his belt, got his pants unfastened, and shed pushed the elastic waist of his underwear down under his dick. She stroked him once, twice, three times. His eyes rolled shut. I bet this would feel better with a little moisture, she whispered. Then she slid down against him, one knee on the rough asphalt, and brought the head of his penis to her lips. Already, it was starting to bead with salty, hot liquid. She lapped at it with her tongue before taking him into her mouth as deep as she could. His muscles tensed, and he thrust forward, deeper into her, almost triggering her gag reflex. A warm ripple moved through her body. There was nothing shed found yet that he didnt enjoy, and she loved that about him. It was only fair. She hadnt found a thing yet that she didnt enjoy. She pulled back a little so she could stroke him, fondle him, while she let her mouth pool with liquid as she moved her head back and forth. Damn, Alicia. He balled some of her hair in his fist. She ignored him and dipped her head to give attention to his balls, sucking one and then the other into her mouth while she rapidly moved her hand on his shaft. Alicia, stop, he rasped. Im going to come. She gave one more little suckle before she tilted her head back to look up at him with her innocent, big blue eyes, even as she rubbed his dick against her cheek. She could imagine what she looked like. Dont you want to come, baby? Lets go home. Alicias ire was quick. She stood. Go home where we watch TV and fuck like were dead? Are you serious? Whats wrong with you, Tommy? What happened? You dont want me anymore? He grimaced. You know thats not it. Then what is it? He didnt answer. I want it! She stepped into him, nose to nose. I want it now.
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You want it back like it was? he asked in a low, controlled voice. Yes. You want me to fuck you right here for anyone to see. He jammed his hand into the front of her gown and rolled her nipple, covered with thin material, between his thumb and forefinger. An electric current rippled through her body. Yes. God, yes. Her hand was on him again, and she pushed up her scrap of a dress to touch herself through the see-through material of her thong. Desperation crackled in the air around them. But then in a move quick as lightning, he reached for her wrist, twirling her, and pinned it to her back. He grabbed the back of her neck with his other hand and slammed her forward against the back of the car. He kicked her legs apart. He pulled the thin strap of her thong to the side and entered her. Already so hot and wet, he buried his dick to the hilt. Alicia growled deep and guttural at the primal intrusion, and Tommy let out his own satisfied grunt. Is this what you wanted? His voice broke on the words as he tried to control himself, but shallow, strained thrusts built the tension between them. He pressed her wrist higher against her back and used his forearm to press her head into the glossy metal while he pulled hard on her mass of hair and continued to fill her pussy. This is exactly what Iay! Tommy withdrew and pressed back inside of her quickly. She stamped one heel in reaction then moved her hips back against him. He pushed inside, and she parted her legs more, submitting, giving more of herself to him. Tommy bent over her, and one of his hands tried to get at her breast beneath her dress. When the bodice proved to be too tight, he just reached higher and snapped the sequined spaghetti strap. He jerked down that side of the dress and pulled the support petal from her breast. Alicia gasped. I fucking hate those things, Tommy commented. Alicia grinned. Hed said more than once that her breasts were just fine free and that he didnt like the taste of adhesive. Then he pinched her nipple, hard. It hurt, and it made her pussy clench tight around him.
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Christ, he groaned, even as he massaged her flesh, easing the pain, but then he grabbed her hair again, drawing her torso up even as he ground up into her. Ow, she purred. Does that hurt? Alicia licked her lips and trembled as she felt liquid start to glide down the inside of her thigh. Delicious. She was dying from it. Tommy rammed into her faster and stronger, and she couldnt stop the cries of pleasure escaping her lips. You love that, dont you? he growled. Y-yes! She slammed her hands against the trunk of the car to brace herself as she ground her pussy against him, meeting him stroke for stroke. Just when she thought she was going to die from the pleasure, Tommy sped his movements, slamming into her so hard it hurt. His grunts behind her came faster and harder, then his hands hooked into the other strap of her gown and the bodice and he ripped the thing apart, leaving it in shreds, baring her from the waist up. Somewhere, maybe she imagined it, a camera flashed, and she came. Blinding light, bliss, just pure, fucking bliss. The orgasm caused every muscle in her body to clench so hard she shook. And somewhere, at the outskirts of her psyche, she heard and felt Tommy coming, too. Theyd been together for years, but theyd always been extra careful. It was the first time he had come inside her without protection, and her body overflowed with a mixture of their essence. It was over in the blink of an eye. Tommy dragged the shreds of her dress up and made her hold them over her chest. Then he pulled her to the passenger side and opened the door. Get in the fucking car, he grumbled as he heaved her in. He started the car and had them off in a matter of seconds. He was still angry, but she didnt care. Drained from the most intense orgasm shed had in her life, she yawned then looked around the car. What are you doing?
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You have napkins or a towel or something? In the glove compartment, but He reached over and slammed it shut after she opened it. Youre not going to clean yourself off. Huh? You wanted this. She had. She wanted Tommy unleashed. Open your legs. But, Tommy, we just finished and Take that thong off and open your legs. She obeyed. Driving with one hand, Tommy reached over and pressed his fingers between her legs. He spared a quick moment to stroke her clit before he shoved two fingers inside her pussy. Alicia had thought she was ready to go to sleep, but his touch ignited another fire inside her just as strong as the one shed experienced when he walked into the club. She placed her hand over his and sank into her seat, curling her hips upward, riding the waves of pleasure stirring inside her. Whats up with the parking deck? he asked, referring to the blocked entrance. Maintenance. The cars have to be in before midnight for the next two days, and you cant get in or out before 6 a.m. But the pay-to-park lot across the street is open. Tommy cursed, but he pulled into the lot anyway and swiped his debit card. After he parked, he got out of the car and waited for her, his arms crossed. Tommy, she called. What? Can, I, um, have your jacket? He turned around and looked at her. She stood on the passenger side of the car, hunched over, clutching the remaining scraps of her dress to her body for modesty. No. No?
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You wanted this. You still want it. You cant have my jacket. Alicia considered this but gave him a nod. She walked toward him, and he closed his fist around her upper arm. He walked her into her building. Up in her apartment, as soon as she opened the door, he lifted her and carried her to the bathroom, where he bathed her gently and gave her long, sweet kisses. In bed, he made love to her slowly and deliberately, the way he had planned to the entire night. He whispered that he loved her and made her cry as she whispered the words back to him. His sweetness in the wake of their earlier rough coupling devastated her and reminded her why she loved him so. The next morning, when she awoke, he sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. Good morning, baby. She slid close to him and reached up to drag him down for a kiss. Tommy didnt let her. Instead, he moved her hand away. Cut it out. Whats wrong? Why did you do this? Alicia pushed herself up against the headboard. What? Why couldnt you just come home last night? Something in her chest tightened. I thought. I She paused and self-consciously crossed her arms over her bare chest. Didnt you enjoy I mean Of course, I enjoyed it. I dont know if what happened between us last night could ever be topped. Ill remember it until I die. It was. It was You know. I do know, baby, so what Anyone could have seen us, he told her. I dont care about that. Okay, Alicia, you dont care. He stood up and glared down at her. You never care. But I remember a flash, and someone is always watching you. What if someone got a picture of us? What if its on the front page of The Starry Eye today, or on that fucking blog you hate? What if your dad saw something like that? Fuck that, what if Pam saw it?
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Her vision blurred, and that tightness in her chest made her incapable of breathing. Yeah, you didnt think about that. You never, ever think about it. You didnt have to come down to the club. You didnt have to have sex with me right there, Tommy! she lashed out. You wanted to. Guilt, or something else, but she was hoping it was guilt, turned his skin a deep pink. I never said I didnt want it. All Im saying is that you dont think. And when you dont think, that means I have to think for the both of us. Oh yeah, well, what the fuck happened last night? You sucked my dick then showed me your pussy in an alley. Thats what the fuck happened. Her mouth opened in a big, hurt O. She blinked, and blinked again. She swallowed and tried to say something, but her eyes, nose, and throat burned. When a hot tear rolled down her cheek, she brought a shaking hand up to swipe it away. Then she looked down at her lap, unable to think, unable to feel anything but embarrassed hurt. Ive got to get out of here. I cant be around you right now. When he left, Alicia sat in her bed, numb as she tried to process what had happened. Tommy didnt come back. The photos were published the next morning. After ignoring text messages all night, Alicia had gone for breakfast at her parents. Her picture was on the front page of The Starry Eye, and a full spread of her and Tommy leaving the club was on the inside. The first picture showed Tommy hitting the bouncer at the club with his badge. Another photo featured Tommy pinning her hand behind her back and grabbing her by the hair. Thankfully, her body pressed to his hid the fact that his pants were open. The other showed him holding her upper arm and pushing her ahead of him into her building, much of her dress obviously torn, her hair more of a mess than normal, and her makeup ruined. She was petrified. What would people think? What would happen to her career when her pristine image was shattered? She never should have goaded Tommy into doing it. But the fantasy had been driving her crazy, and shed wanted it so bad. And that experience had been
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absolutely everything shed wanted. Now, she had to pay the price for it. Entertainment news around the world had a field day with it. The news spread like wildfire. Everybody weighed in and trashy Tati Pleshette, a pop starlet with more plastic surgeons than brain cells, did a PSA on domestic violence that very same day featuring an altercation reminiscent of the photo. Still, that wasnt as bad as facing her father. Alicia, we need to talk. She hated those five words. He shook the pages in front of her face. Tell me what happened, Alicia, and tell me the truth before I go and beat it out of your boyfriend. He stood in front of her, taller, broader, intimidating in a way he normally wasnt. Alicia winced. Tommy and I werent even angry with each other. We were just playing around. With him holding you like this? Alicia squirmed in her seat. One did not explain this sort of thing to ones parents, even as an adult. If you dont press charges Charges? Panic pierced her voice. Dad, are you insane? This is Tommy were talking about. He would never hurt me. Then explain this, Blair roared. Alicia jumped. Her father had never used that tone with her. Her gaze flicked to Pam. She silently begged for help. Pam didnt respond right away, then, because the older woman always seemed to understand, her eyes got bigger. Blair, she called in a soft voice. Even though the tone was light, her husbands head whipped around as if to demand a reason for this interruption. Blair, babe. Pam blinked. Remember Stes. Maries de la Mer? Her father started to cough, and then he coughed some more. And he refused to look at her. Refused. But he didnt say anything else about the photo, and Alicia found herself curious about the small village on the French Riviera.
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A A Ali He was trying to say her name but couldnt seem to get it out. Alicia, are youdid you He didnt finish. Pam stepped in. Alicia, if you tell us that Tommy wasnt hurting you, well understand. He wasnt. Pam nodded, and Alicia prayed that was it and there wouldnt be any more discussion on this subject. Her prayers were denied. Do you mind leaving us alone for a minute? Pam beseeched her husband. Blair, still not looking at his daughter, agreed. He said he was going down to the lobby to talk to the concierge. Alicia, you do realize that you have a certain image in the public eye. Yes, maam. I know that. And you realize that since Tommy had that fight and joined the police force, he has a certain image as well. Tommy is sweet as pie. He would never hurt me. Pam closed her eyes and nodded. She seemed to be reaching for words. I do know that, but I know it because Ive spent so much time with the two of you. I know it because we are family. If you want to play games with him, thats fine, but you have to know that you are never alone with anyone if you are out in public. Come on, girl. Youve been a celebrity your whole life. You have to know this. But Im just a girl. Dont do that, Alicia. Were not on set. You are not just a girl. Obviously not if you were playing the sort of game I think you were. Alicia blushed. It was the first time her stepmother had called her card so directly. You are a woman, but you are also an international brand, a wholesome, every-woman, international brand. Alicia swallowed and nodded. I understand. You have to be responsible. I know. And Im surprised at Tommy. He might have a temper, but hes
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not impulsive. Alicia dropped her head and held her arms close around her. I know. It wasnt his fault. He didnt wheits not his fault. Its all mine. Pam surprised her by taking her hands then. Listen, Alicia. This was a mistake, and it could cost you. It could. But as long as you play safe and youre equal participants, its not your fault alone. Dont feel guilty about your sexuality, but remember that you have to keep your body and your livelihood safe. Think about that. Shed spent the night with her parents, and in the morning when Blair and Pam took her home, she was expecting a few reporters, even a lot of reports, but not the aggressive mob of media outside her building. She remained trapped inside for three full weeks. Alicia was dropped from two fashion shows in New York and one in Singapore. Her Parisian clients kept her, though. And she was able to maintain both her cosmetics and jewelry contracts. Both companies seemed to eat up this new edge to her. One Italian designer, who had been after her for years, offered more money than would have been reasonable for a model to turn down. She agreed to talk to him even though he was edgier than shed ever liked, and Pam had warned against it. Arriving in Milan, Alicia discovered that he only wanted her for his new, sexually aggressive and deviant shows that included models engaging in minor sexual acts at the end of the runway. She declined the offer and prayed that somehow she would be able to get past this. Still, that wasnt the worst of it. If someone had stayed in the alley long enough to get the first picture, and that same person had taken the second, then this photographer had stayed long enough to get more. Much more. Somewhere in the world were photos, maybe even video, of her and Tommy acting like animals in an alleyway. Already, she was mortified. She didnt know how she would ever be able to face Pam or her father if the rest came out. The photographer was not credited in The Starry Eye. Her lawyers had been tied up with the trashy mag for months, trying to find out who it was and to suppress any additional pictures should they exist. But
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nothing had happened, and Alicia felt certain the guy was waiting for the highest bitter on his extra material. Any day now, she was going to wake up to a media shit storm. Americas sweethearts sex tape. Knowledge of this Sword of Damocles had caused her to lose her appetite and stop sleeping. Then came I HEART YOU ALICIA. The first letter had been frantic, at least in comparison to the subsequent ones. That one had condemned her relationship with Tommy, had promised she would be cured of her heart sickness so that she could learn what true love really was.
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Chapter Seven
Delicious! Brig squealed when she let Tommy into the suite. Why dont you quit the force and become my stylist, honey? Who makes your jeans? They are perfection. I get the sweater is Marni, maybe. Although that would be the second time in one week youve worn the same designer, which is a bit ridiculous if you ask me, but Which reminds, do the cops ever trash you for your devastating fashion sense? And is any of your mothers money left after youve been on a three-year shopping spree? Tommy was sensitive about his mother, about his money, and about his job. But Brig got away with commenting on each. She always got away with it. One of the benefits of dating a supermodel and not being a sixty-year-old shipping magnate or sixty-year-old salacious author is that people want you to wear their clothes. You dont pay for yours, so why should I pay for mine? Good boy, Tommy! Brig squealed even if she was two years younger than him. Okay, so back to the jeans. I love the wash. Who makes them? Oh, youre not going to believe it. Tommy reached for Kika as she bounded across the floor to him. Old Navy. Old Navy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember Detective Lopez, Marisol? She shops there all the time and didnt believe Id never been. We went all the way to Jersey and
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Alicia gasped. You went to Jersey with Marisol to go to Old Navy? Brig leaned over to whisper loudly to Tommy. She sounds positively gauche, doesnt she? Alicia blushed. Normally, she didnt consider herself or her friends as snobs, but something about the very mention of the pretty detective was turning her very, very ugly. Sorry, she mumbled. I came over to tell you where weve gotten on the case. There were only three people on the security tapes that arent in and out of here on a regular basis. Two signed in at the front desk and happen to have alibis. Both were in and out within an hour. The third was Paul Andorra and he Paul came by here to see me, Brig said. We got a little tweaked together. Both of her friends glared at her. What? We only did a little of this, a little of that. Besides, I just did it because I wanted Tati to find out. Brigs feud with the young pop tart was legendary. Granted, they all supported Brig because indeed, Tati did have a habit for adopting her style. After this is over, Im personally driving you to rehab, Tommy assured her. Okay, so no one stands out. Wed have to accuse everyone on the tape, and I know youre not ready for that, Alicia. Last night, though, we had a little breakthrough. The lab studied the envelopes, and while they didnt find fingerprints or DNA, they did find traces of hydroquinone on the first two envelopes. The last one, however, had two spots with traces of phenidone and ascorbic acid on the actual letter. What does that mean? Alicia asked. Brig had gone still as a pointer on the hunt. It means that we just narrowed down the potential stalker list to about fiveat Lane V Modeling Agency. No, I dont believe that. No one at the agency would Its a photographer. Alicia looked over at Tommy, who supported Brig. Shes right. Those are chemicals used in photo processing.
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Certainly explains how he got access to you, Brig added. So what? That means it could be anybody. People take my picture all the time. People take my picture all the time People Her voice trailed off as she tried to hold on to an elusive thought. What is it? I dont know. That just reminded me of something. You guys asked me if I had seen anything odd before I went up to the apartment. There wasnt anything out of the ordinary, but there was one thing. I did see a photographer across the street. No biggie, you know, but he was by himself, and I gave him the picture, but he didnt come over What did he look like? Alicia shrugged. I dont know if it meant anything. Some of those guys can be pretty weird. All the more reason for you to describe him to me. He was across the street, and I didnt get a good look at his face, but Id say he was about my height, kind of stocky, white, and he had a thick black beard. He was wearing a khaki trench coat over just some jeans and a black T-shirt. Beyond that, not much I can tell you. Tommy watched her pensively. I know there are some cameras here that capture the perimeter footage. Well have to go back through that and look for him. He wasnt one of yours? No. Definitely not. Well check him out. We still cant rule out someone at Lane V, though. He sighed. I understand you dont want Blair and Pam to find out anything, and this time Im going to agree with you. We dont want to inadvertently alert the stalker that were looking for him. I bet he already knows, Brig offered. Hes probably pacing back and forth right now trying to figure out why theres been no activity, no media coverage. My guess is that you cant go in there at all, Tommy. It needs to be someone else, and not a cop. He pondered that for a moment, then his eyes widened. Marisol! She can go and check it out undercover. Check what out? The agency. We can send her in on an open call and get her to
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sniff out if theres anything strange going on. This is technically her case after all. Lopez? In an open call? To model? Yeah, why not? Shes fat. Shes not, Alicia. Shes a size four at the most, and thats not fat. She has acrylic nails. Easily disposed of. She cant even dress herself. Is this what a jealous girlfriend is like? Tommy asked Brig. Im not your girlfriend anymore, Alicia answered at the same Brig nodded her head. Ah, but you are jealous. She wont fit in. She wont get far enough to interrogate anyone. Ill take her. What? Alicia whipped around to confront her friend. Brig shrugged. Ill shop with her, dress her, and Ill take her. No one will question anything if I bring her in. Why? Even to her own ears, Alicias voice sounded harsh. Alicia, honey, Im trying to help you. Alicia covered her eyes with her hands. She tried to breathe. She had to get herself under control. I know, Brig. Im just really stressed out. Completely understandable, babe. Brig paused. And youre not a jealous girlfriend. Alicia stood up, deciding to leave the room before she killed someone.
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Chapter Eight
Tommy followed her. Alicia, he said. Whats wrong? Nothing. Her answer probably seemed stubborn to him, and maybe it was. But the truth was that so many thoughts ran through her mind that she couldnt wrangle one of them and say that it was at the heart of her despair and anger. You know Im not interested in Marisol. It doesnt matter. Then what is it? So many things. Then lets take them one at a time. Tommy, stop. She sat on the bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. I wont stop. Is it the stalker then? Its always the stalker. Tommy came over to sit on the edge of the bed. He reached for Alicias hand, but she wouldnt give it to him. In fact, she scooted away from him. Alicia knew better. Tommy wouldnt allow even the tiniest rebellion. Even then, it was a part of the primal nature of their relationship. He leaned further on the bed and touched her shoulder, drawing her toward him. Alicia resisted, but he came closer, and soon she was folded in his arms in a familiar embrace.
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It felt good. It felt safe. It felt like home. And that frightened her. When Tommy kissed her cheek, she realized that tears had slipped from her eyes. He placed a kiss on her eyes. Then he cupped her chin in his hand and brought her lips to his for a kiss. It was sweet. It was filled with emotion. It told her that he lover her. And that frightened her. Alicia wanted to melt into him, to make love with him, and she knew, no matter what had passed between them, that her body would comply. But after sex, what then? She couldnt put herself out that way again. She pulled away and hugged herself. I think its time we talked, he announced, giving her space. Oh yeah? Yeah. You dont think you might be about six months too late to talk to me? Tommy winced. He ran a hand over his close-cropped red hair and walked back over to the bedroom door and closed it, twisted the lock, then turned with his hands out, palms up. Im sorry, Alicia. I just wanted to tell you that I am so, so sorry. What I said wasnt right. What you said was exactly right. He forged ahead, not challenging her statement. Leaving you the way I did wasnt right. Shed waited for months for him to say those words, and now she didnt know how to process hearing them. No words came to mind. Tommy went on. I have something to confess to you. He licked his lips. I dont want to hear any confessions. Im still in love with you. God, dont say that. I am. Dont be. He chuckled. I dont think its that simple, love. Tommy, you dont understand. I go back and forth on whether I should trust you. When I came into the apartment and found that that
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psycho had been there, you were the only person I wanted to call. When you came, it was like you were my hero all over again. Youve always been my hero. And you were so sweet, and you promised you would get him for me, keep me safe. I believed that. I believe it. When people kept saying you were violent and kept thinking you were hurting me, I told everyone it wasnt true. I knew you wouldnt ever hurt me physically. I know you wont hurt me physically. But Tommy, you made me feel ashamed of myself. Sex and love had been so open and honest between us until then. You never ridiculed me for what I wanted. You never said one thing to make me doubt myself. And its not even what you said. Its how you said it. You made me feel like shit. I get that I was reckless. I get that I invoked the very worst consequences for me, my family, and for you because I was foolish. But what haunts me is the thought that youve always thought of me that way. That you dont really respect me, and I dont want that in the back of my mind every time I get close to you. I dont want to be humiliated because of what I want. I dont want to be embarrassed to be me. He studied her but said nothing. Alicia could tell he was grasping for words. Just go, she said finally.
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Chapter Nine
Did you find it? Ogden asked from over his shoulder a couple of days later. Find what? Tommy asked absently as he fiddled with the controls for the video display. What you were looking for in the footage from outside. Oh, no, Oggie. Its not a what. Its a who. Tommy pointed to a blurry black and white image on the screen. This guy. Hes a photographer, and Alicia said she thinks she saw him the day the apartment was vandalized. That guy? Oggie pointed to the screen. Yeah. Do you recognize him? Hard to tell. Hes right on the edge of the camera, and hes not too clear. Yeah, I tried to clean up the image, but this is as good as it gets. I think I might recognize him, though, the beard is not something you see every day. Hes a photographer, I think. Comes around a couple times a week. I think hes freelance, because I see the shots in more than one place, you know what I mean? Tommy nodded. I think its the same guy. The trench coat may be throwing me off, though. Why is that? He wears T-shirts all the time. All different colors, but the same
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gay design. Gay design? Tommy felt a little offended even though he wasnt gay. Yeah. Had one on the last time he was camped out, and I let him come in to drain the lizardhes always out thereI think that time it was a black one with a red heart. A red heart? Yeah. He always wears a T-shirt with a painted heart on it. Electricity burned through Tommys veins, singeing him from the inside out. When was that? When was the last time you let him in? A couple weeks ago. Before the total lockdown. Tommy stood up, nearly knocking over his chair. When? he growled. His fingers curled, seconds away from grabbing Ogden and demanding answers. Calm down, Tommy. At least a week before this thing happened with Alicia. At least a week before. So I wouldnt have seen him enter on the tapes, right? When did he leave? I dont know. I was getting off Fuck! Tommy shouted and lashed out. He slammed his fist into a locker behind Ogdens head. Ogden put his hands up and backed away. Get me the footage from a week before, Ogden. Give me the fucking footage for the past six months. I c-can go back three months, Ogden stuttered. Ill have to order the tapes from longer than that. Then order them, dammit! Tommy shouted. Ogden scurried into the next room. ***** Hello? Her voice sounded soft and sweet in his ear. Even if she was angry with him, disappointed in him, her voice told him that she still craved the
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connection. At least that was something. Hi, sweetheart. He cleared his throat. Hi, I was just calling to tell you that weve got a really good lead. We think the man you saw, who took your picture that day, may be the stalker. Oggies going to order tapes a few months back. Well cross-reference the magazines and entertainment sites with pictures taken outside the building on the days we can confirm this asshole was here. Once we figure out whos credited for the photos, well know who he is. God, Tommy! Her voice cracked, and he could hear a sob from the other end. Thank you. Thank you. Tommy licked his lips. A lump grew in his throat, but he forced her name out past it anyway, Alicia? Yes? You turn me on so much when youre uninhibited. He could tell from the pause on the other end that it wasnt what she expected to hear. Okay, sure, I turn you on, Tommy, but Listen to me. You turn me on, but I always, always respect you. You cant say something like what you said to me if it isnt in the back of your head. I said it to hurt you. Im an asshole, but thats the only reason I said it, not because I didnt respect you or because deep down I think poorly of you. Alicia, I love you. Ive always loved you. Sometimes you make me furious, but I respect you. I know youre a good woman. The whole wide world knows youre a good woman, even if its not in the way they expected. You never have anything to be embarrassed about. I will always love you. Apology accepted. I love you, too, she confessed in a hurry, then hung up.
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Chapter Ten
Shes so little, Marisol remarked a couple of days later. Brig had just excused herself to change clothes. Alicia and Tommy exchanged a look. I dont know why I didnt realize shed be so tiny from seeing her on TV and everything. Shes just like a little doll. There was nothing Brig liked more than to play up the fact that she looked just like a little china doll, especially when a much larger and attractive woman was in play. Maybe Brig and Tommy had always gotten along so well because they had the same taste in women. Ah, Marisol, you want to fill us in on what happened down at Lane V? Oh yeah, Tommy, yeah, she said, though she still seemed a bit distracted. We went down and Brig introduced me to a Miss Valeria and Mister Sherrod. They were so nice. Granted they told me right off the bat that I was too fat to model right now, but they liked that I looked young even though Im twenty-four. Youre not twenty-four, Tommy raised an eyebrow. Fuck you, Touhy, Marisol retorted. She started to say something else, but whatever it was seemed to freeze on her lips when Brig came into the room, wearing nothing but a long, diaphanous pink satin nightgown. We told them she was, and they believed it, Brig said. Look at her. She has the skin of a baby. Marisol continued with another blush, They said if I lost twenty
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pounds, I could Forget that. What about the case? Tommy reminded her. Brig answered again. Nothing to tell about the case. The three photographers you have on staff were actually there at the same time. Marisol snooped around that whole area, didnt find anything. They all seemed to have had alibis for the night, Marisol added. Makes sense if our new prime suspect is the guy, Tommy said. How did you ask about the night without saying anything about what happened? Alicia questioned. Didnt need to say anything. It was Matthew Alstons wifes birthday. They all went on an overnight ride on her yacht Thursday night into Friday. Brig came over and pushed some of Marisols hair behind her ear. Marisol blushed a little and lowered her eyes, maybe in subtle embarrassment, but she allowed the touch. Alicia kicked Tommy discreetly. Brig continued the story. When she got in makeup for her test shoot, Terracotta flipped for her. But look at her. Mari looks wonderful with this softer, lighter palate. Anyway, we talked to nearly everybody on staff. Didnt come up with a thing. Mari, Tommy mouthed over Brigs head. Of course not, Alicia said. I told you all that were family over there. No one would do this to me. Obviously, this other lead is the way to go, Marisol said with a nod. Brig offered them all food and drink, but Marisol and Tommy indicated that they had to go. Marisol had to head back to the precinct to complete a report, and Tommy was antsy to get back to his off-the-books investigation. Before he left, Tommy reached for Alicias hand and squeezed, assuring her that he would make it safe for her to go home soon. Alicia responded by standing to give him an intense hug filled with longing. Tommy ended the embraced with a kiss. Love you, he said. Love you, too, she responded.
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Then he and Marisol left the condo. Marisol didnt skip a beat as she went directly into cop mode. I didnt get a hit on your guy from the building footage. But I did get something else I think might be almost as valuable to you. Whats that? Here. She pushed a few buttons on her cell phone. Tommy felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and looked down at it. His eyes widened, and his pulse started to pound in his temple. How did you find this? You can thank Brig. Shes the one who wanted to find this guy. I just helped her use a few of the tools down at the precinct. I didnt find anything. Marisol shrugged. Like I said, Brig is awesome. She is, Tommy agreed, trying to put out of his mind that Marisols voice sounded a bit breezy. Brig was the only one who knew the whole story from that night. He was so glad she was his friend and Alicias. He looked at the address again. He knew the place. You going to do this by the book? Marisol asked. He hasnt broken any laws. I cant arrest him. Suing him will only give him time to distribute what he has. What does he have? Tommy didnt answer. He just turned to leave. Touhy! Marisol called behind him. Yeah? You didnt get that from me. Get what? He grinned then took off.
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Chapter Eleven
He still hadnt caught the stalker, but there was one thing he could do for Alicia that was almost as important. Brig and Marisol had given him the answer to a six-month-old problem that had the potential to haunt him and the love of his life for as long as they lived. If living with the paparazzi for the last ten years of his life had taught him anything, it was that there was no reasoning with those guys. Maybe this photographer hadnt sold the photos yet, but he would. It was in the nature of the filth that aggregated in that particular industry. Tommy was going to have to take drastic measures. ***** He looked down at his cell phone. It was well after midnight, and hed been huddled in a dark, cold corner in the alley outside Anthony Woodalls apartment building for more than three hours. An hour ago, the light in the apartment on the third floor had gone dark. Not even the twinkle of ambient light from a television appeared. Good. He wanted the bastard asleep when he got there. The guy was reportedly a hermit, only leaving for jobs, and only taking local jobs. He had no reported family, and no one at any of the papers or magazines had professed any great like for him. His isolation was all the better for Tommy. He was going to get what he came for and scare the living shit out of the guy so that he never had to worry about him saying a word
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after. Tommy pulled the black hood on his jacket up and over his head, then silently made his way up the fire escape. Squatting outside the window where the reporter lived, he peered in and saw nothing inside but a dark living room. On the coffee table, there were some photos, and beyond, he could see a door marked with a giant X made out of police caution tape. Probably the darkroom. With all the care of a cat burglar, he checked the window for an alarm. Then he tested it, ecstatic to find it unlocked. Easing it open, he then deftly crawled through it. He pushed it closed behind him before making his way to the coffee table. Leaning over, he tried to see the photos with the limited light. The photos there chilled him to the core even if they were exactly what Tommy had come for. All of them were photos of Alicia from the start of her career all the way up to a couple of days ago. But the ones that cut the deepest were those of her in a tiny gold dress, with Tommy dragging her out of a club and into an alley. There were pictures of Tommy pulling her hair. Of her on her knees giving him a blowjob. Of her dress torn while his hand cupped her breast and he pushed into her. Arousal stung him at the same time as fury, and he needed to take a moment to get a grip on the storm of emotions raging inside of him. Quickly, he took of his jacket and tied it into a makeshift, sack. He scooped all of the pictures in, then began a thorough search of the tiny apartment. The living room, the kitchenette, the bathroom, even. There were so many photos around, but Tommy only took those of him and Alicia on that night. In an alcove off the living room, Tommy discovered Woodalls personal computer. The thing was on and running without a password. A true sign of a real recluse. Tommy scoured the computer looking for digital copies of the pictures of Alicia and him. He found tons of pictures, lot of starlets like Brig and Tati, but few of Alicia, and none from that night. Then he opened a program that processed video footage. There it was. The photos hadnt come from a regular camera. They had come from high definition video stills. Tommy deleted the footage
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from its local and temporary storage, but he wasnt satisfied that he had gotten everything. Tommy went back to the window and set his jacket with all of its contents outside. He had a hard time deciding then whether he needed to go into the darkroom or confront the photographer first. He didnt want to ruin the guys ability to make a living, but he did want to ensure that that living had nothing to do with Alicia. He palmed his service revolver, reconsidering whether he should take it out. Tommy didnt kid himself that he wasnt breaking the law and doing something potentially worse than what this guy had done. But he would follow this course to protect his love. Walking into the bedroom, he switched on the light and came face to face with a man of maybe forty years, standing there, awake, in a T-shirt and flannel pajama pants. Startled, Tommy pulled his piece and leveled it at the other man. Anthony Woodall, I presume. Yes, the guy answered with a gravelly but confident voice. The sight of the gun had apparently not intimidated him. That means you probably know who I am, right? Yes, I do. I had a good idea you were coming, Woodall said with a crazy little bow. Surprised you didnt show up before now. I had to find you first. You didnt make it easy. No? No. But were not here to talk about that. Lets get down to business and discuss the photos and the camera you used to take them. You can rest assured Ive got every photo from that night six months ago, except any that are in here and whatever might be left on the camera. Youre going to give me those, too, before I leave here. You cooperate, and you and I no longer have a beef. We never have to see each other again. Is that what youre here for? Woodall asked with a laugh. I thought you were here because of that. He gestured to something dark on his nightstand. Tommy turned to look and just as he made out the black, fake beard, something hard knocked his gun from his hand then something
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harder, like a brick, crashed into his head. You never deserved her, the madman hissed. I still cant get over it. You left her. Even after she allowed you to defile her. Oh well, mine is not to reason why, yours is just to do and die. He pounced on Tommy, and even though hed been expecting the attack, this guy was a lot faster than he looked. Tommy took another hard blow from the brick to his left shoulder. Tommy balled his right hand into a fist and punched Woodall in the ear. Woodall winced but held firm to the brick aimed for Tommys head. Tommy rolled. The brick struck the floor before Tommy grabbed Woodalls wrists and beat them against the floor until he let go of his weapon. Then Tommy scrambled to see where his gun had gone, but Woodall launched himself at the doorway. No time to search, Tommy lunged for Woodalls legs, and the taller man fell. He tried to keep his balance but pulled at the computer desk in the alcove just inside, and the entire thing came crashing down on them both. Woodall howled. Something had definitely wounded him, but he didnt stop his struggle. He started to rise. The debris from the desk prevented Tommy from keeping his grip on the man, so he had to let go then make his way over it. As he did, he had just enough time to duck a bottle hurled at him. The glass hit the wall and exploded. Tommy had thought himself home free until he realized that the back of his neck and his arms were covered in tiny, burning pinprick sensations. The acid would completely fry the computer, and it was going to leave permanent marks in the small spots where the spatter had reached him. Tommy was surprised, but so seemed Woodall whod expected him to take the brunt of the acid. Tommy regained his faculties first and rushed forward. Woodall turned to run, and the forward momentum of both their bodies as Tommy tackled him caused them to crash through the door to the darkroom. Only it wasnt a darkroom. It was a closet. A closet, Tommy could see, that had been turned into a shrine to Alicia. He rose on his knees and felt for the light switch above him. The light revealed a tiny room with walls covered in the
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words, I HEART YOU ALICIA, and in drawings of her, and photos of her that dated back more than five years. Get out of here! You cant bring your disease in here! Woodall screamed below him. Ill kill you! Havent you done enough? You raped her! She was pure, and you raped her, and you made her think she liked it. Now I have to take her heart out. I have to cut out the disease. I have to make her pure again! The words caused a physical pain in Tommys chest. He hadnt raped her, but everyone thought so, and no one seeing those pictures and whatever video existed would ever believe any different, despite Alicias vocal acquiescence. Then Tommy was slammed against the ground, and the glint of a knife flashed. He had just enough time to deflect the descent of the knife, though he got a deep gash in his left shoulder. Woodall reared back and drove the knife downward again, but Tommy caught his hands in his. Tommys biceps twitched violently, aching. His jaw hurt and shook as his teeth ground together from strain. Something hard, small, and cylindrical bored into his back. It felt like a beer bottle, and while it hurt like hell, Tommy wanted it to stay whole. He prayed it didnt burst beneath him. Hell, he was already burned. He growled at the thought. Blood, sweat, and saliva dripped onto his face. Desperately, he thought he felt the bottle contracting, a subtle squeeze before it popped. In his minds eye, he saw a pair soft blue eyes, wide from terror. His anger redoubled, and so did his strength. Tommy drew in two deep, quick breaths. With everything he had left, he pushed up, hard, while swinging his left leg. The guy outsized him by at least twenty-five pounds, but Tommy managed to reverse their positions with the maneuver. He slammed the mans wrist against the floor so the knife clattered to the ground. But the asshole wasnt done fighting. A heaving breath and a sickening attempt at a smile came before Woodall rasped, You dont think I know you. I know who you are. I know what her heart sickness let you do to her. Tommy drew back his fist and punched the guy. He did it again, as hard as he could. The man was going to have a broken nose.
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Blood flowing freely now, not just from the corner of his mouth, but a fountain from his nose, the man tried to laugh. Im going to cure her. Im going to cut out the sickness, and her heart will be mine. Mine forever. Not yours anymore. She He struggled to get up, but Tommy was stronger, and really pissed. Another hard and fast jab. Now the bastard was going to have to have his teeth removed from the inside of his cheeks. Though the talking stopped, the rebellion remained, and Tommy wasnt satisfied. A cruel jab to the windpipe stopped him from breathing. A head butt sent the man into the oblivion of unconsciousness, but Tommys anger wasnt appeased. He saw those blue eyes in his mind again, heard her voice as it wavered telling him, Tommy, Im so scared. The wicked looking knife glimmered for him. He reached for it but jerked his hand away when the backup he hadnt waited for arrived. An angry haze still blurred his vision, and his heart still pounded. His skin itched and burned as if attacked by tiny flames. His fist connected again, despite the man being unconscious. And again. And again, until two officers dragged him off the bloody mess. He hadnt even heard them break in. Like a raging bull, Tommy stumbled around, loping in circles and breathing hard, his fists clenched. He needed to get a hold of himself. He really did. But some thingssome things were unforgivable. What this man had done could not be forgiven, and Tommy was damn near certain he could have killed him. Finally, when he could breathe again, the paramedics demanded to check him over. His adrenaline still pumped, and he snapped at the two men. He tried to remind himself that Alicia was safe, but fury wouldnt let that placated him. So he tried to think of something else. When the technicians cleared him, they said he had a couple cuts and bruises and some minor burns, nothing to write home about. But when he looked down and realized there was blood caked into his Christian Audigier T-shirt and had dripped onto his Superdry pants and Diesel shoes, he wanted to beat the bastard until he pissed himself all over again.
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Chapter Twelve
He couldnt get it out of his head. A pervert, a psycho, a madman, had seen what happened between him and Alicia and found it disturbing. What the fuck did that mean about them, about him? He never wanted to hurt Alicia, not really, but the intensity of the role-play, of Alicia acting like a snarling cat in heat, demanding that he take what he wanted, was the most erotic thing he could think of on the planet. He loved it. She loved it. They were fucked up. Tommy shook his head, trying to rid himself of the shame and anger bubbling inside him and spreading through his body. He was certain his ears were already red. Yeah, Captain? He turned around and faced his superior. Taller than Tommy, which wasnt saying much, the captain was a man in his fifties with gray hair and a soft belly. Touhy, theahthe victim would like to thank you. Shes downstairs. You can tell her theres no need. I was just doing my job. The Captain rubbed his hands together. There are reporters down there, and cameras. You, more than anyone, should know what that means. You have to go down. With all due respect, sir, you can talk to them. Take the credit. Whatever. Or better yet, get Lopez over here so they can talk to her. It was her case. You know I hate the cameras. Im going to hit the showers and
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get the hell out of here. She said she wont leave until she sees you, and she said she didnt want to see anyone but you. That girl is stubborn as all hell. Please just go down and talk to her so I can have my precinct back. Id rather not make it an order. But he would. Tommy gave him a bitter nod. Ill make the shower quick. As he walked past the punching bag, he took a swing at it, putting all the force and aggression and anger he could muster into the blow. He connectedand nearly went to his knees from the pain. Stitches. Tommy had forgotten all about them and the wound on his hand. Now it was open again, and he was bleeding. He cursed all the way to the shower. ***** Ah, here he is, the captain was saying as Tommy walked slowly out into the waiting area. Detective Touhy, please come let me introduce you to Blair, sir. Tommy stuck out his hand and shook Alicias fathers hand. Pam, he continued, reaching out and clasping hands with her. Finally, he turned to the source of all his agony today and every day before. Alicia Langerud. In a tank top that read in Celt, Pretty girls need love, too, skintight jeans, and flats. He wanted to call her Miss Langerud. He wanted to pretend there was nothing there, that he didnt care, but before he could say anything, she launched herself at him. All of three inches taller than him, she bent and folded him in her slim arms, smelling like Hugo Boss cologne. Even after all this time, she chose to wear his cologne and not some fruity body spray or sweet perfume. He loved that she smelled like him. Acute electricity raced through his body at her touch. Somewhere a camera flashed, and Tommy took a deep breath, trying to clear his head. Oh my God, Tommy. Im so glad you got him. Im so glad. Thank you so much for doing this for me. Thank you. She hugged him hard.
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He only returned the sentiment half heartedly and maybe only then because so many people watched them. He pulled away from Alicia, avoided her fathers eyes, and spoke to Pam. I was just doing my job. I know how much Alicia means to you and Blair. Im glad I could catch this guy. People think getting fan mail is a glamorous part of the being famous, but they dont see this. I know stalkers are frightening, but we got this guy, and well make sure your daughter is safe. You all should go home and get some rest. Pam looked from him to Alicia, to her husband, then back again. Then she nodded and reached for Alicia. Alicia crumpled into her arms, and the older woman held her as they exited the precinct. Now why was she crying? She hadnt been crying before. Shed been happy, and thankful, and jumping all over him, and shed told him she loved him. Andwellhed stepped away from her, and stopped looking at her, and was now doing all he could to extricate himself from this situation. He hated to see her cry, but this was the way it had to be. Tommy was an animal, and this beauty didnt need a beast. You wouldnt have had to see them at all if you didnt want to. I didnt assign this case to you, Touhy, his captain said after they finished giving a statement to the few reporters loitering there. Obvious that wasnt going to make a difference, was it? he asked before escaping into the brisk October air. Why his captain tolerated his smart mouth was a question hed leave for another day. Tommy pulled up the collar on his plaid Bottega Venetta wool coat then shook his head at himself. Fashion didnt make him any more civilized than fur coats did tigers or lions or bears. One glance showed him Alicia and Pam holding each other on the sidewalk while they waited for Blair to bring the car around. Tommy scanned the shadows around them then melted back into one. Sure, hed caught the guy threatening Alicia, but he knew there were whack jobs all over the place, and he was still on edge. After Blair brought the car around and they both got in safely, he headed to the parking deck and gave them a secret police escort home.
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Chapter Thirteen
The only reason Tommy didnt smash his fist into every mirror in his apartment was that his body was already pretty fucking wrecked. His back, and the backs of his arms, were speckled from tiny drops of acid. His shoulder was strained and cut, and his fists looked like hamburger. As he stared at his reflection in the bathroom, he was overwhelmed with disgust. He didnt even know who he was any more. Bang! Bang! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! What was that? He stepped out of his bathroom, every muscle taut, his mind on edge. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! He walked back into the living room and stuck his hand in the end table. After all, he didnt live in the best part of Brooklyn. Who the hell is it? Its me, a barely audible female voice called out to him. For a split second, he considered pulling his gun out this time. Alicia was without a doubt the biggest threat that had ever darkened his doorstep. Instead, he pulled the door open and looked up. There she was, his princess, his heart, his bane. Beautiful enough for a man tohe snatched her into his townhouse then looked out beyond her into the night. Are you crazy? What? Her face crumpled. Too late, he realized she didnt understand his gruff tone. He shut
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the door firmly behind her and put his hands over his face in exasperation. I realize we caught the guy tonight, Alicia, but I still dont think you should be out running around alone. Especially not here. Anything could happen. If that asshole makes bail, or if theres someone else out there I cant believe your dad even I snuck out not too long after Dad left the loft. And Pam? Pam was on the phone with Val and Sherrod. Tommy frowned at her and said, So you snuck out. And you came here. And you didnt tell them even though they will probably be scared shitless. A tear dampened long black lashes. I t-texted them both, Tommy. She sniffed. I didnt want them to worry. I just Just? You could have at least called me so I could look for you. Her eyes glistened. I didnt know if you would agree to see me. No matter what, you dont have to worry about that, Licia. His voice softened. He didnt want it to, but when she looked like that, so pretty and helpless, tears streaking her dark cream cheeks, he couldnt help himself. Since they were kids, she could twist him up just like this. Every time. It was why he moved to Brooklyn, far removed from the world in which she existed. I just needed to see you. I had to say thank you. I had to tell you, had to see you. She reached for him. He moved away. Why are you doing this to me? she demanded. The softness and fragility she usually wore as her own special type of armor fell away, replaced by anger and hurt. Im not doing anything to you. Then tell me why youre being so distant! I thought we were both going to try and put the past six months behind us. I thought we were going to try again. A-and you caught him for me, Tommy. You did. And I thought... Then as if she had just remembered an old and deep wound, she added soulfully, Tell me why you felt you had to move out. Im a grown man. I shouldnt be living off you or my dead
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mothers money. That does not matter! she cried. And you didnt even tell me where you were going. You didnt answer any of my calls. You just left. I was never any good for you. You didnt need me in your life. Didnt What? Im here because I need you. Im alive because I need you. Im here in your home because I need you and love you, you asshole! And Aliciahis lovely, sweet, beautiful, supermodel ex-girlfriend and someone he had known literally his entire life growing up with only a floor separating thempicked up a thick glass candle holder, and threw it at him. And because he had known her since they were in strollers, he caught it. No one, except for maybe Blair, knew the kind of temper she hid beneath soft lips and come-hither eyes. And because he caught it, and her eyes narrowed with frustration, he had to push her. Im just about tired of violence hurled my way today. If theres anything else you need to get out of your system, you need to go ahead and do it. Blues eye narrowed, she hurled herself at him. It didnt matter that she was skinny, Alicia was super tall, and she was no lightweight. When she pushed him, both palms against his chest, he stumbled backward. Then he tilted his head and waited. When with a huff of frustration she went to push him again, he grabbed her. Just like with Woodall early that morning, he switched their positions so he trapped her against the wall. What are you doing here? She chewed her bottom lip, and her black eyelashes lowered over her brilliant eyes. She was breathing hard. Alicia couldnt get enough of it when he was rough with her. If he had just asked her to leave, she would. But this If he kept going this route, shed be naked in minutes. Damn. She raised her leg and hooked it around his hip. Isnt it obvious? Instinctively, reflexively, Tommy pushed forward into the hollow of her hips. Not really. Alicia rubbed her body against his, and he had never hated denim
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more in his life. Im here because I want you back, Tommy. He turned his back to her. It was the only way he was going to be able to concentrate. If you wanted me then If I wanted you? You left me. Remember? You left me. I left you in good hands. Lots of good hands. Im sure anyone of those male models or actors youre always around would be willing to come running for you. Shit, his voice cracked. In all that he wanted to show her the fury, the monster, his voice cracked. And she heard it. Of course she did. She pulled him around again and back into her body. Her expression had changed. No longer was she the seductress. She was just the woman he had always loved. His whole body, and his brain, and his heart felt electrified. Her voice was low and earnest when she said, You know youre the only one. You know it. Stop being a paranoid jerk and remember that you know me. He backed away from her, then came right back. Every time we went anywhere, guys were all over you like I wasnt even there. Even when they knew we were together Even when they knew we were together, they came on to me. Yeah, I get that. But I never flirted with any of them or gave anybody the impression I was going to pick them over you. How many times did you hear me insist that I was with you? Huh? She slammed her palms against his chest. How many times? I dont know. It was either I convince them or you beat the living shit out of them. Tommy figured he was blushing. Then, when you lose your temper, you get even more pissed. At me. At the media. I mean, really, Tom. If you dont want to be called a bad boy, try not to throw a fuckin punch whenever we hit a spot. Yeah, maybe you need to find someone who knows how to do that. Maybe you need to find someone that doesnt have a mountain of rage boiling up inside him all the time. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. Heat rushed through his body, and he couldnt tear his gaze
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from her face. His hands turned into fists at his sides as he struggled for control. Maybe you need someone whos not going to hurt you. Alicia grabbed him by the ears and brought them eye to eye. The only time you hurt me was when you hurt my feelings the day you left. What is all this youre talking about? Where did this come from? He didnt respond. And so she kissed him. And he couldnt resist her, needed this closeness too much to ever truly turn it away, so he kissed her back. She moaned in the back of her throat, and Tommys eyes lowered as he pulled back to watch what she was doing. Her eyelashes fluttered again. She parted her lips and used one slender hand to push her tank top up over her smooth, tan belly, then further up to cup one of her perfect breasts. The other hand went up to push her wild hair back. A delicious sigh escaped her lips. She knew what she looked like. She knew how Tommy liked watching her. She knew that for him the line between anger and sexual hunger had never been defined. Before he could clear his head, her hands were grasping at his shirt. She pulled him close, dragging his lips to hers, and she kissed him with desperation, passion, and pain. She slid her hands over the tight muscles of his shoulders and his arms, to his belly which contracted with the contact. Then she raked them up, dragging his shirt over his head. Tommy couldnt fight the tide of extreme emotions carrying him away, into her arms, into her kiss, into this experience that tied them to each other a little more every time. He locked his arms around her, returning her kiss. With all the desperation and artlessness of those moments theyd fumbled for each other when they were kids trying not to get caught by her father, they clung and kissed. Tommy stooped just a bit, kissing no longer enough. He hooked his arm beneath her ass and lifted her off her feet. She held onto him and moaned. Tall and heavy, even though she was skinny, Alicia had always liked to be lifted and carried as if she were a little girl. She also liked to be taken against a wall, and Little Tommy remembered that well. He pressed her back into the wall, and her long, long legs came up to wrap around his
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waist. He stroked the denim covering her thighs, her ass, as he kissed her, hunger for her consuming him. He rocked into the cradle of her body, wishing their clothes didnt separate them. Rubbing against her was sweet torture as her hands explored the skin of his back, his face. He needed to be inside. Inside. I missed you. I miss you, she groaned. The words cut into him. Simple, sweet, elegant. They cut, because even in her passion she was telling him, telling him that this separation had been his doing. And if it had been his doing, then it could only be because he was a coward. And he couldnt accept that. After a few steadying breaths that calmed the sexual storm inside him, he let her down then stepped away from her. She looked as though fresh tears were starting. How was it that someone who looked like her, who held New York and London and Paris and Tokyo and Milan in her thrall, managed to look at him as if he was rejecting her? How? Because he had rejected her. And unlike moving out of the building while she was out of the country, he had to look her in the eye and see what he had been too much of a coward to face. Yes, he had been a coward to think that if he didnt reject her he would be rejected, that it was only a matter of time. You cant love me, he blurted. What? You said you loved me at the station. But dont, Alicia. She slid down the wall until her knees folded and her arms wrapped around her legs. She dropped her chin to her chest, and her hair hid her face. She looked small. She looked hurt. Again. Tommy wished he hadnt had that last swig of whiskey. He wasnt able to see reason. He had hurt her with his words. Once, she had made him promise never to doubt her love. And hed done nothing but doubt it ever since. Dont love me, he said again, reflexively. The words were stupid,
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but he wore them as he did his badge. Not after what I did. You broke up with me. It happens. It was painful, but Not that. She looked up at him, her beautiful eyes rimmed in red. Then what? Tommy took her hands and dragged her up to stand beside him. I was too rough with you. I was vicious. I was heartless. She remained silent for a long, long time. Im the one who asked for it. This might be the only time in history where someone says it and its true, but I was asking for it. Begging. I didnt have to come down there. I didnt have to do it. I You act like I didnt know what I was doing. Maybe it was nave to think it wouldnt make the news. Im an idiot. But, Tommy, I was there with you. I enjoyed what happened. I didnt feel ashamed about it until Until I made you feel ashamed about it. She didnt answer, but they both knew the truth. Finally, Alicia squeezed his hands. Listen, baby. I love your temper, I love your strength, and I love the strength of your restraint. You are so smart and so good, you dont even know it half the timewhich I confess I kinda like, since you miss half the advances ladies throw your way. What happened between us was raw and sexual and consenting and spectacular. Baby, I worry over you every day you go to work. I know you can take care of yourself. The whole world knows right about now. I just worry. Your mom worried over your dad, and for good reason. Your father died in the line of duty. I dont want that. I love your body, and I love your freckles, and what I do want is to have babies with red hair like yours. Tommy felt as if he were choking on something. Please, please come back to me. Ive been miserable without you. I believe we can work this out. You still want me? I have always wanted you, even before you got all badass and Irish Jason Statham-y.
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He couldnt help the chuckle that escaped his lips. I want you now. You cant leave me like this. Im so hot and wet for you. Just for you. Make love to me like you did the first time and the night before you left. No holds barred. I want everything you can give me. I want it now. The only way hed been able to resist her was to leave her. Running was no longer an option, because she was still, and always would be, in his blood. He said to her what his mother had said to him each night years ago, T gr agam duit. I love you. She knew what the words meant. Hed told her so many times. She returned them. T gr agam duit r. He grabbed her and pulled her close, tangling his fingers in her thick hair. She tilted her head down to let him capture her with his kiss, moaning as she reached for the hem of her own shirt and pulled it up over her head. Tommy fumbled with the fasteners on her jeans in his rush to get them down over her sexy hips, but he was too impatient to get them all the way down. He raked his hands up and put them around her waist. Thumb to thumb, fingertip to fingertip. Hed never been a fan of stick-thin girls, but her waist fascinated him because of how wide her hips were and how luscious her breasts. And her skin, every French vanilla inch of it, was perfect and unblemished and healthy and fucking edible. Touching her, watching her body, made him know that only God could create something like this. Your body is so perfect, its insane. Oh yeah? Yeah, baby. And you know it. How could you not? My ass is a little big. He gripped the offending flesh and couldnt for the life of him figure out what she was talking about. Alicias body curled around his. Its true, she said, even as she settled closer to him. You should hear Tatum over at ChouChou despair over my proportions whenever I show up to a fitting. Its a surprise I get any work.
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Want me to fuck him up? She laughed hard. No, sweetie. Thanks, though. I already explained this to you. Youre perfect. So perfect I cant believe it when you touch me and let me make love to you. About that. She quirked an eyebrow at him. Inside, now. Patience. Patience, my ass. She sucked his earlobe into her mouth, and every muscle in his body went rigid. You want me in your ass? Alicia coughed hard and grinned. You havent let me do that in Maybe I will this time, if you put me out of my misery, she purred softly. He crooked a smile at her and flexed his hips just a little, teasing her with his body. You want me to put you out of your misery. Oh yes, I do. Tommy kissed her again delicately. He ran light fingertips over her brow and stroked her arm. He embraced her and nibbled at her throat. She slipped a leg up to rub against his, but Tommy ignored it and continued his slow ministrations. Not like this. She put her hands on his chest. What? We cant do it like that. We will. Well make slow, perfect love later. But I think we both need to show we can let this go. Huh? Show me the Bad Boy. Tommys eyebrows went up. We havent been together in six months. Dont you think we need to build up to that? We need to face it. For posterity. Tommy grinned at the ridiculously somber joke. He kissed her again. Youre not ready for the Bad Boy yet. Alicia bit down on her lip and toyed with the bandage on his shoulder. Yes, I am. Then spread em!
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Yelping, she let him snatch her forward then turn her to face the wall. Her legs spread wide, her back arched, and her breath raspy, she waited. Tommy eased up behind her, his hands on her hips, and he fit her bottom against his hardness. Her softness rubbing against him caused a painful tightness. Her moan while she flipped her hair over her shoulder showed that she was feeling her own discomfort. Tommy ran his hand over the silken plain of her back, then reached up to cup one of her breasts. From the side, he could see her eyelashes droop until her eyes closed, and she moistened her lips with her tongue. Oh, she was ready. He swelled with the knowledge that he could and would take her now, and she would love every single minute of it. In his hands, her breasts were firm and full, and her nipples pressed out for attention. Tommy squeezed each gently between his fingers as he massaged her. She dipped a little as if her knees were weak, and her response caused one of his own. He wanted to please her, to torture her with foreplay, but after so long, he wasnt sure he would make it, and her body spoke to him. It didnt want to wait either. When she started to turn around, he grabbed a fistful of her hair and turned her back toward the wall. You said you wanted the Bad Boy, and you havent got it yet. While she complied and faced the wall, she dropped one hand to reach behind her, unerringly finding the bulge in the front of his jeans. She gripped him hard through the material and mimicked the movement with her naked hips. Tommy gave a humorless chuckle before quickly dropping his own jeans. When he was done, her hand found him again, stroking his shaft lightly, cupping his balls, dabbing in the pre-cum already escaping the head. Her touch was like acid in his blood, driving him crazy, scorching through him. He took a deep breath and held it, counting to ten, and tried to think of his mom. Usually, that worked to slow him down. He didnt count on Alicias hunger though. She brought the tip of his cock to the moist, hot entrance to her body, and as soon as he felt that pure, unadulterated, searing pleasure, he drove all the way up into her. They both nearly dropped to the floor, but he held them steady. One
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stroke turned into another and another, until they were both panting and their bodies strained. Tommy marveled at her impossible proportions and the perfection of her tan skin of her back interrupted only by long, thick black hair. Just watching her was enough to make him want to come, but he had to make this last. So he pushed her forward hard, smashing her against the wall so that his chin was just below her shoulder and he couldnt watch her, could only feel the sensation of her body clutching his, wringing pleasure from him. Tommy rode her hard until she slapped her hand repeatedly against the wall, caught up in the start of an orgasm. He wanted to give it to her, she needed it, he needed it, but he didnt want a quick release, he needed her screaming his name. He wanted to scream hers. So he slowed their pace, eased out of her despite her protests, and dropped them to the carpet. Come on, Tommy, she grumbled in frustration. How can you do this to me when its been so long? She reached down and gripped his dick. Youre so hard, baby. Dont you want to come? Yeah His breathing was erratic. Yeah. ButdamnI want you to Im almost there, Tommy, come on. Treat me like a criminal. Dont worry about me, just Tommy rolled over and pulled open his end table. He felt around inside and produced his cuffs. In a flash, he grabbed her wrist and shackled her to one of the legs of his sofa. She squealed, but Tommy put a tight hand over her mouth. Dont you fuckin make a sound. He held her still with his body, while he ran one hand down her silken flesh. Between their bodies, he found her soaking wet and pushed his fingers in hard. She gasped at the intrusion, then moaned and flexed her hips against his hand. With his thumb, he flicked her clitoris, and she raised her hips again and again, taking pleasure from this intrusion. You like that? he asked, even though he continued to clamp his hand over her mouth and she couldnt respond. Yeah, you like that.
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Then he pulled his fingers out of her and licked them while she watched. You want to get free? She nodded fervently, always up for this game. Then youre going to have to show me how much. He let go of her mouth only to grab a tight fistful of her hair. He rose to his knees before her, and she eagerly moved forward to lick him and take his cock deep into her mouth. She sucked deep and cupped his balls with her free hand. Reflexively, Tommy pulled her hair tighter and pushed his dick deeper into her throat. She let out a muffled groan but relaxed and let him thrust as deep as he dared. He thrust inside her again and again until he was inches from coming. At that moment, she pushed him hard in the belly. Together, she said, her breaths ragged. Tommy, fuck me. Please! Tommy slid her body around until he was positioned between her legs. Then he pushed her thighs together and held them to the side against the floor. Alicia called it sidesaddle, and she loved the friction and tightness of the position. He rammed his dick into her, then pumped, savoring the torture of the wet, narrow passage. She wouldnt come from this, but when he heard her breath stutter and saw her eyes rolling back in her head, he pressed her legs open wider. He dropped until their bellies moved against each other and he could possess her with his kiss while he took her body, marked it, claimed it, over and over again. She bucked under him, meeting his hips every time they crashed down, ramming her into the floor. She grabbed his back, his ass, and ground against him, reaching for her release. She snarled when his fingers dug into her hips as he tried to hold her still while he relentlessly pummeled her body, forgetting her pleasure and going after his without mercy. She called out as her body went rod still, and she made the only ugly face she ever showed, one that only Tommy would ever see. Inside, when she came, she squeezed him so tight he could barely move. And then she pulsed, and he toppled over the edge as her body milked his, sapped him of his strength, his will to live, his everything.
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Alicia was his everything, and hed been a fool to walk away. And then someone had threatened to take her away. He collapsed on top of her and wanted to cry. Tommy, she called, alarmed. Tommy? Her body shivered beneath him as an aftershock overtook her. Tommy kissed her as she rode it out, her hips still pumping slowly against his. He rolled away from her and stared up at the ceiling. Baby? she said. He tried to get a hold of himself, but when she rolled onto her side, stroked his chest, called his name, and looked at him with those clear blue eyes, he fell apart. He thought about what could have happened, of the pictures and the filthy writings about her at that stalkers house, and he fell completely apart. I could have happily killed that guy, killed him for just wanting to hurt you. Grabbing her hair, he kissed the corner of her lips, her cheeks, the tears that mingled with his own. Im glad you didnt. But I could have. God, Alicia, you dont know how crazy you make me, how crazy youve always made me. If something had happened to you, baby, I dont know what I would have done. I dont know. And after this stupid separation Alicia, I love you so much. I love you, too. Then she added, Do you remember that you sent me my very first piece of fan mail? Oh God. He chuckled. You always bring that up. Sweetheart, it was so cute. You folded an origami crane and wrote that you liked me inside. I still dont know what possessed you to unfold it. I guess Ive always had it in me to antagonize you a bit. She gave him a wry smile. Now about that Latin detective lady. Marisol? What are you talking about? Alicia went up on one elbow. You know, tall, pretty, looked a little like me. I saw the way she ate you up. That raw, sexual magnetism you have is something to behold. Half the male models I work with wish they could draw a woman like you do. The other half are gay. I hope she
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knows she cant have you. If she was trying to make him feel good about himself, it was working. He cleared his throat. Yeah, I think Brig took care of that. No way. Tommy nodded. Brig sealed the deal? Alicias eyes went wide. She didnt tell you? No, she didnt. So you have to! You have to tell me what happened.
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Chapter Fourteen
You sure you dont mind being here. I know my place isnt as nice, but No. Alicia shook her head, even though she wrung her hands. Im not scared to be here anymore. Now that Woodall is locked up. Even if he wasnt, you know, I always feel safe when youre with me. They stood in her living room facing each other, not saying much until Tommy reached for her and Alicia stepped into the comfort, safety, and familiarity of his embrace. When he pulled back, holding her face in his hands, he told her, For the last time, are you sure youre okay? She didnt want to cry, but damn, she was dangerously close. Its just hard. You caught him, and hes in jail, end of everything, but being here Being here reminds you of the bad times. Understatement. She offered him a wobbly smile. Tommy squeezed her hard. Its not just Woodall, is it? Alicia didnt answer. The last time I spent the night here with you I know thats a very bad memory. But trust me when I tell you I suffered for it, too. I think I might always suffer for it. I really do love you, Alicia. Every part of me. Every part, he whispered into her neck. She swallowed, hesitant, but confessed, I love you, too. And I respect you.
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Oh, she chirped. Well I dont respect you. Tommy stepped back. What? And people think Im the ass? No, people think I have a fat ass. Tommy laughed. Can I tell you something, Alicia? Anything, babe. I want you to be the mother of my short, red-headed children. I want you to be my wife. Oh, my God, Alicia said and froze. He had never said this before, never once hinted at it. Maybe it was because they had always assumed it would happen. Maybe it was a foregone conclusion when they had never had a serious fight before that morning when the pictures of them outside of Post Coitus surfaced. I have something for you. He took something out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. This isnt an engagement ring, she blurted, holding the plastic case. Oh! Tommys eyes widened. Oh! Im an idiot, Alicia. I guess I did sort of start a proposal. Or so I thought, she muttered. What the hell is this? Its his footage. Woodalls footage. Apparently, he didnt trust servers, so he never uploaded it anywhere. I sorta stole what was left of his hard drive out of the evidence locker and had Brig make sure I had properly deleted it. And no, I made sure she didnt watch or copy it. And, uh, I stole the only cartridge in his camera. Thats the only thing that was in it. Dont look at me like that. I put it all back. Her mouth had dropped open, and her hands trembled as she held it. You mean no one will ever see this? I dont have this hanging over my head anymore? Her knees buckled, and she sank onto her couch, but she didnt let the disc go. Yes, baby. Thats exactly what Im telling you. She shuddered as she exhaled a deep breath. Then she did it again as though she would cry from the immense relief. But she didnt cry. She just sat there. Tommy stuffed his hands into his pockets and waited, not sure
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what else to do. After a few moments, she murmured, Youve never said you wanted to marry me before. Im an idiot. I didnt even say it right. You want to go looking for rings? She nodded absently. Did you watch this? Only the beginning. It was footage of the club. I knew that was it. She nodded again. Im not sure what to do with it. Anything you want. You can destroy it, if you want to. That would probably be best. I think I want to get married tomorrow. I dont think your parents will want that, but if thats what you want, baby, well do it. She smiled brightly at him, still holding the case as she vacillated between subjects. I think I do want to destroy it. All I need is for someone to break in ten years from now and steal it and sell it. Tommy agreed. She touched his hand with gentle fingers. But first I have an idea. He blinked at her but followed her to the bedroom. She handed him the case and nodded toward the television, then promptly lost all her bravado. How do we do this? Alicia lifted one shoulder. The movement was quick and not particularly vulnerable, but Tommy recognized it for what it was. He walked over and ran his palms over her upper arms in a gentle and comforting movement. We dont have to look at it. Alicia felt herself blush. Your cheeks are getting pink, Tommy commented. He reached up and stroked one of them with his thumb. Even more warmth seeped through her, and she lowered her lashes. No, I want to watch it. I think we need to at least once, you know? I justumm Ive seen myself on film millions of time, but never like this. I dont even think watching in a mirror is the same as I just dont know how its going to be.
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Me neither. His lips came up to meet hers gently. Tommy but the disc in the player, turn off the lights, took off his shoes, then came to settle beside her in the bed. He put an arm around her shoulders, and she curled into his body. The screen was dark for a moment. Into the silence came the blare of a horn, the sound of voices and cars, and electricity. It was the sound of New York on a Friday night. In the background, there was the muffled sound of malice, then, as a shimmering gold image emerged, the voices became clear. Do you need help, Miss Langerud? No, no. On screen looking like an Egyptian goddess, Alicia stopped in her tracks to put the bouncer at ease even as Tommy, looking tough and angry, gripped her wrist. When the bouncer stepped in the way, he got an eyeful of Tommys badge. Alicia managed to wince and grin at the same time. Im fine, she called. I dont need any help. Hes a cop! The last had been said with a tinkling laugh. Gah, I dont remember saying that, she said. On screen, she stumbled forward when Tommy gave her hard jerk. I dont remember dragging you around like that either. You didnt hurt me. I know, but look. His hand had slid up her wrist and now he was marching her ahead of him with it closed around her upper arm. But Alicia was smiling, stumbling, and tossing taunting grins over her shoulder. You are so beautiful, Tommy whispered. You make me so mad when you use that little look. Its so smug and challenging, but it reminds me of how pretty you are. Sometimes I cant stand it. The pair on the television disappeared into the dark, and a grunt then breathing very close to the camera sounded. The image disappeared again and silence yawned in the room. Is that it? Alicia whispered. Before Tommy could answer, the picture and volume returned with a growled, You did this to piss me off.
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Are you pissed off? Her voice was lusty and aggressive Alicia put a hand over her eyes. She couldnt see her hand on the screen, but she knew exactly where shed put it. Is it me, or is this kind of difficult to watch? Tommy asked. Its not you. Alicia leaned over and pressed pause on the remote. You want to stop? Only if you want to. Im fine. Alicia leaned over to touch a gentle kiss to his lips. Tommy pressed play. On the screen, he tugged Alicia down a dark alley. In her flashing gold dress, she flipped her hair and looked out at the street, inadvertently at the camera. It could have easily been a scene from Italian Vogue. Then they disappeared into the dark. The camera shook then the image went black for a moment. When it returned, the angle was different, and it was obvious the camera had come closer. In her glittery dress, Alicia kneeled in front of him. One knee on the ground, the other behind his leg. Tommys hands her in her hair pulled it back from her face, and she had his cock in her mouth. Her head moved back and forth as she pleasured him. Watching, Alicia felt a tingle between her legs and shifted on the bed. Tommy looked over at her, his green eyes smoldering. He stroked the inside of her thigh with the slightest of touches. Still awkward? She crooked an incredulous look at him, and he went back to watching the screen. Lets go home, Tommy told her on the screen. He sounded torn. Go home where we watch TV and fuck like were dead? Alicia demanded. Are you serious? Whats wrong with you, Tommy? What happened? You dont want me anymore? Im sorry, she said beside him. Dont be, he replied. On screen, she stepped into him, nose to nose, his dick still in her hand. I want it. I want it now.
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You want it back like it was? Yes. You want me to fuck you right here for anyone to see? He put his hand into the front of her gown. Beside Tommy in the bed, Alicia moaned. He turned to her. What? Alicia blushed a little. Im sorry, its like I can feel that all over again. On screen, she had pushed up her scrap of a dress to touch herself through the see-through material of her thong. Desperation crackled in the air around them. But then in a move quick as lightning, he reached for her wrist, twirling her, and pinned it to her back. He grabbed the back of her neck with his other hand and slammed her forward against the back of the car. He kicked her legs apart then pulled the thin strap of her thong to the side and entered her. Alicia moaned again, and her legs parted. Tommy didnt waste any time slipping his hand into the waistband of her yoga pants. Unerringly, his fingers found the inside of her panties to stroke her clit. Youre already so wet, he remarked. Is this what you wanted? on-screen Tommy asked as he continued to ram into her. He pressed her wrist higher against her back and used his forearm to press her head into the glossy metal while he pulled hard on her mass of hair. Oh, my God! Alicia yelped as he pinched her clitoris. In the bed it took only seconds for her to shed her clothes and for Tommy to come out of his. He turned her on her belly toward the screen so he could fuck her in the bed while he fucked her on screen. Alicia came and didnt stop until long after the screen went dim.
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Chapter Fifteen
Daddy, Pam? Alicia called into the loft as she dragged Tommy behind her. Hey, Alicia. Tommy! Pam came rushing in and threw her arms around him. She kissed him hard on both cheeks. Im so glad to see you. Hi, Pam, he said, blushing. Wheres my dad? Alicia asked excitedly. Her father came out, wearing faded Levis with the big E and a frayedbought-frayedblue cotton shirt. Alicia hopped from one foot to the other in her same jeans and tank from the night before. But Tommy stood in a gray, wool, three-piece suit with a fine, apple-green piping. Hed sniffed at the unknown designer and the color storydamn, he spent too much time around designers and modelsbut the suits fit was outstanding, and Alicia said the crazy green brought out his eyes. Last night, when you thanked me for catching Alicias stalker, he said to Blair in a clear, purposeful tone. You said you owed me, and that I could have anything I wanted. Keeping the elation off his face was a little difficult with Alicia jumping up and down and squealing. She was so happy it made him happy. My hand, she told them and flashed the diamond on her left ring finger. He wants my hand! Then she launched herself at both her parents before running back
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and nearly tackling him. You can have it! Yeah, I guess it doesnt matter much what I have to say about it, Blair grumbled. Were going to go do it in Vegas today! No youre not. Pam raised an incredulous eyebrow, and they all started to laugh. The End
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Author Bio
Aubrey Leatherwood loves language and the way it can be used to communicate the beauty of physical sensation. She adores the body and the way it interacts with well...other bodies. She is also fascinated by the mind and its power. As a result, her characters are always both intensely physical and cerebral beings. Frequently, they possess an awkwardness or nuance that endears them to the reader. Aubrey lives in Florida where she works, spends time with family and friends, plays poker, watches all things sports related, and writes.
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